KGCI: Real Estate on Air - The One Phrase That Wins Any Real Estate Negotiation

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

Summary:This episode focuses on a single, powerful phrase that can significantly improve an agent's success in any real estate negotiation. The host breaks down the psychology behind the phrase, explaining why it disarms the other party and creates a collaborative environment rather than an adversarial one. The episode provides clear, tactical advice on when and how to use this phrase, as well as the follow-up steps to take to secure a favorable outcome for your clients.

Welcome back to the show, everyone. This is Randy Dick here on the Return on Life podcast, and I dive deep into how do you get more return on life when it comes to business being an entrepreneur, but also pro tips on how you can be better in your real estate business and how you can be better in your life, in your relationships. It's really all-encompassing. And so I'm grateful that you're here today. today's show has a really, really cool twist to it. A real cool twist. Four magic words. Four magic words, just four words that will transform your communication, your discussions,

and most importantly, your negotiating ability. Yes, I said negotiating. And that can be with your family members. That can be with a client across the table. but we need to know specific ways to communicate, communicate clearly, communicate with a sense of curiosity, and communicate with a way to unlock, unlock that person that we're connecting with or trying to connect with, and unlock everything that's inside of their mind. Think about that. When we communicate well, what we do is we open up the mind.

We literally open up the mind. And one of the human behaviors that most people have is that they do not have an open mind. So how do we open up somebody's mind with just four words? Yes, just four words. And when we can open up their mind and when we can take something that's complex and make it sound simple, make it sound like it isn't that big a deal, or if it is a big deal, or if it is a big deal, how do we unlock that in the other individual's mind? So today we're going to walk through just four simple words to really learn how to communicate

better with our loved ones, with our friends, family, spouse, and most importantly, with that person that's sitting across the table that is not actually opening up their minds. So we're going to open up their minds. And so I'm going to dive deep into this and talk a little bit about this. Now, some of this content is not just my content. Of course, I'm a learner. I love to read. And one of the individuals that I've spent some time reading about is Chris Voss, never split the difference.

And, of course, he was an FBI interrogator, and he would unlock people's minds in a way that they would never want to be unlocked. So I'm going to steal some of Chris's content to share this with you today. but the four words, the four words that will change everything is so simple and it's quick and easy phrase. And here they are, how am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to do that? So it's, of course, has to have the right tonality, the right curiosity, but it really comes across, how am I supposed to do that? So think about the situations that you're in. whether it be in business, with your spouse, with a friend. And they're asking something that just doesn't seem to make sense.

It is a challenge. And you say, how am I supposed to do that? So let's walk in and walk through some of that when it comes to the game of real estate. Because that's why I think you're probably here is first and foremost. It's about real estate, about sales, about being an entrepreneur. So let's look at this. Why this works so well in real estate and why you need to use it now is this. Let's get real.

As agents, we hear the impossible demands all the time, right? Impossible demands. Like, your commission is too much. I need to sell my house for 20% more. I'm not paying for that. I'm not negotiating this. You have to do this for me, Randy. Or you don't know what I need.

And so there's a lot of demands that are put on us, whether it is with a buyer, a seller, whether it's at the beginning of our relationship with a buyer or a seller, or it's at the very end when we're getting right down to the nitty-gritty of making a deal. Buyers and sellers have a thought, a concept, something that they ultimately want, and they're not open-minded to really think beyond just that. that one thought they got in their minds. You know that thought. It's so challenging when you get up against that and you're trying to walk them through it logically. You're trying to give them reasons why it's not going to work, but stop doing that and just come back to how am I supposed to make that

work or how am I supposed to do that and it just changes everything and I'm going to say this works probably for 80% of your clients when you bring that up how am I supposed to do that so something like a couple of others that may have I want to close in two weeks that's another thing that will come up or how am I supposed to take care of the repairs? How am I supposed to pay for the repairs? Are you not going to cut your commission? If you don't cut your commission, I'm going to walk. Who's had that?

If you don't make this deal go, I'm going to go find another agent. See, we've all heard these. And so, you know, it's that defensive mechanism that is coming out in them. And often, we then get. defensive as well and let's stop being defensive let's stop trying to fix it see the moment we start justifying and telling them why we're so good or why we're special or why we do this is where we actually just get defensive as well and walls are being built deals are being lost stop being defensive and just open up see when you all

open up, they have to open up as well. So go back, or think about this, just lean back, put a smile on your face and ask the genius question. Ask it. How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to do that? And so, you know, a couple of things. Let's just get into detail here, for instance, like on commissions, because commissions is that. really big one. And I'm going to walk through a couple scenarios. So they would say, I want you to cut your commission to 1%. And you would say, how am I supposed to do that? And then sit back and watch. And don't talk anymore. Another scenario might be the unrealistic seller. My house is worth $100,000 more than the comps. You've heard that before, right? My house is worth $100,000 more than all of the

comps. It's got better insulation. It's got stronger nails. It has a better curb appeal. Whatever, they have their reasons why they justify this. And when they say that, my house is worth $100,000 more than all the other comps. You would say, how am I supposed to get the buyer to pay that. Yeah, how am I supposed to get the buyer to pay that? Isn't that great? It's so easy, yet it is so liberating when you say it. How about the rush buyer that wants to get into the house or make that move happen within two weeks? We need to close in the next two weeks. And again, you would respond back. How are we supposed to do that? Let them walk. Let them through the timeline and ask themselves that. See, what it does is it always puts it back on their

lap, on their side of the table and say, hmm, yeah, how am we supposed to do that? So that's the power of this question. And the magic behind this method is really this. Here's why this works so well in real estate. It's not confrontational. And remember, even though we, we as agents, we represent our clients is we're on the same side of the table as our client, our seller, our buyer, yet there's still this sense of confrontation. There's a little bit of this happening. And so what this does is it says there's little or no confrontation. And it's not that you're saying no, you're just saying, hey, I don't need a confrontation about this. I just need to ask you the question. How do you see this happening? How am I going to do that?

that, and I'd like you to explain how you're going to help me with that. So it makes them solve the problem themselves. That's the cool thing. They have to actually think about it, rather than just this concept that I need this, I need this, I need that. They actually have to think about the process as well and come up with a solution. And often there is no solution. It's just that they're going down the path of never making it.

happen. So that's another piece of it. It makes them solve the problem. It also exposes unrealistic demands without creating that conflict. See, the last thing we want to do is create a conflict. Remember, we're working on the same team. We're wearing the same jersey. Why would we have a conflict? And so it avoids conflict. It's so powerful that way. And last but not at least, it keeps you in control while appearing that you're a collaborative person. See, it allows you to still stay in control, yet it's almost like you've given them the control back. Instead of pushing and forcing you become a collaborator. It's so powerful.

How would I do that? I love it. I love it. I love it. There's also that 80-20 rule of negotiation. on the responses. So when you use this phrase, 80% of the time, it's going to work. It's just going to work. However, 20%. Yeah, two out of 10 times you will not get the response that you would like. And it's either one of two responses. It's very, it's either a quiet response back

and they are going to dictate, yes, they are going to give you a blow by blow of how, how you are supposed to get this done, how you're going to sell the house for $100,000 more, how you're going to bridge the gap of $20,000 in the price that they want versus what the seller or the buyer wants. And they're going to walk you through that process of how you're supposed to fix it.

But then there's the other 20%. And, I mean, just I'm going to talk a little bit more about the 80% this phrase is going to work 80% of the time. Trust me on this. And you're going to realize their demands are unrealistic. They start problem solving with you versus pushing it on you. So that's the eight out of ten times. And they reveal new information that changes everything.

That's the key. It's going to reveal new information that changes how you move forward. Think about that. It's going to change. See, often people don't tell you the whole story. They're not open-minded. They're closed. People are closed. They don't want to give you all of the information, even though they know that they trust you, they like you, you're working for them, but people still don't always open up. Think about you and your significant other. You often don't share everything that's going through your mind because you want to protect some things, right? So this is the same thing, but it unlocks and opens up. Now, for those 20% or those two out of 10, it's going to be one of those two things. It's going to be either a very controlled process where they tell you everything that you need to do, or it's going to be a very angry response, a very angry response. So let's walk through those.

So they could become very, very angry, with you. And if they say, just make it happen, stay calm and mirror their words. So if they get aggressive and angry with you, just stay calm and just make it happen. If they say that. Stay calm, mirror their words, just make it happen. Pause. It sounds like this timeline is really important to you. Let's look at what actually is possible. So here's the money move. Here's the money move. You need to be ready for this. When they double down and they get aggressive with you and they say, just make it happen. Stay calm and mirror their words. Just make it happen? I'm mirroring them. Just make it happen?

it sounds like this timeline is really important to you. Let's look at what actually is possible. So that's in response when they double down. When they get super specific, if they actually tell you how to do it, you've learned something valuable again. So if they actually speak in a calm control voice and they actually walk you through

what they think should be done, you're learning a great and powerful lesson again. They're not moving on this point, and you know that. Now, you can decide if you work for you or if it's time to walk away. So now you know, now you can decide. Now you can decide if it works for you or if you just should walk away from it. Just walk away. So really, really powerful.

And so this is your new negotiating superpower. This really is. And here's how to use it like a pro. Like a pro. Stay generously, here's how to use it like a pro, an absolute pro. Stay genuinely curious.

This isn't about being snarky. It's about being curious. I'm really interested. I'm curious. I really want to understand. Keep your tone friendly and collaborative. Number two, very important. Number three,

The silence works for you after asking. You must learn how to stop and just listen. When you ask a curious question, stop. Listen. Close your mouth. Open your ears and wait. They will give you so much great information at that point for you to move forward. So don't over talk.

And this is a problem for many of us as agents. Many of us as salespeople, we over talk. We talk, talk, talk, talk too much. And last but not the least, be ready to listen and learn. This is where we learn when we listen. So your new negotiating superpower is that. Be a pro. Be a pro.

And the bottom line is this. This isn't just about handling difficult situations. It's about closing more deals. Keeping your commission intact and building stronger relationships with your clients. It really helps build relationships because finally they get to know that they have somebody that's really, really interested in helping them. Very interested in helping them. And remember this, great agents don't win arguments. Don't be somebody that needs to win an argument. A great agent is a collaborator. A great agent is a listener and helps people unlock, unlock,

unlock where they're stuck. That is a great agent. You unlock where they are stuck and then they're free to make better decisions. That is the key. So here's my action steps as I close on this incredible four-word phrase that will help you in every situation in life. Make sure you write down this phrase and practice it over and over again. Write it down. Use it in your very next difficult conversation. How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to do that, honey? How am I supposed to do that, Mr. and Mrs. Seller? How am I supposed to do that, Mr. and Mrs. Bayer? And then pay attention to the response, right? How am I supposed to do that and then be quiet? And pay attention to the response because it's the response. it's going to give you the direction of where to go next.

And watch your negotiating prowess grow. It's going to grow with this four-word phrase. Trust me on that. So if you're ready to transform your negotiating game, which of course we all are, drop this question often. Drop it often. use it over and over and over again and practice it. How can I do that?

How can I do that? It's powerful. It's powerful. So thank you for listening to Return on Life podcast. I'm Randy Dick, and I'm so grateful that you're here. Please, please hit the subscribe button if you're getting value out of this. This is really my passion, and I love that you're here. So use these four words to change everything. How am I supposed to do that?