KGCI: Real Estate on Air - The Secrets of Private Money with Jay Conner: A Real Estate Investor's Journey

Episode Date: July 3, 2025

I'm going to share the question that I ask myself sitting here at this very desk. I ask myself this question and this question, if you're listening to this podcast, this question will help you solve any problem you've got in your life. Talk about return on life. I don't care for it's personal, financial, health, relationship, career. I don't care what your problem is. This question will help you quickly solve your problem. I used to chase the R.O.I all the time, return on investment. And over the course of time, that is evolved into what I call return on life. Welcome, everyone. This is Randy Dick

here. And I am so excited about today's guest on Return on Life podcast. And if you've not been listening, and this is your first time, listen up. This is not about the return on investment, not the R-O-I, but about the ROL, Return on Life. And our guest today is one of the one of the the best, I think, in really helping us understand the return on life. I've got Jay Connor with me today, and he's living in a smaller town on the North Carolina coast called Moorhead, a port town, kind of a recreational area, and I'm really excited to hear what he has to say about the town, but also what he's doing to make life work. And we've got such an exciting podcast for you. Just a couple things about Jay. He's not known. He's not.

new to this game. And so a lot of these people that come on the show are fairly new to the game, and maybe they've made it in the last two, three, five years, but Jay's been around for a lot of years. Back in 2003, he started his game and fought through the 2009 crash and came out the other side even in better shape. At least that's what I believe. And we're going to hear about that. Jay's rehab well over 500 homes. Yes, 500 homes. hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars of transactions. And so welcome here, Jay. Why don't you share it to yourself?

Randy, thank you so much for inviting me to come along and be on your podcast and talk about my most favorite and passionate topic, that being private money. And also, I'm going to love to talk about return on life. But I'm so passionate about private money, funding your deal, your real estate deals, because private monies have the biggest things. impact on our business of anything that we have implemented in our business. You know, I see that everywhere. So I'm up here in Vancouver. You're in North Carolina on the East Coast. I don't think it matters where you are in North America. Private money is driving

business today, especially when it comes to real estate. And so you learned this early, early on. Tell us a story where you started back in 2003 and what it took or how you're fell into it or how you made it happen? Well, as you said, my wife and I, Carol Joy and I, here in Eastern North Carolina, we've been full-time investing in real estate. Our focus has been on single family houses. However, we've done all kinds of deals. We've built a shopping center from the ground up. We've done condominium developments from the ground up, etc. But most of our focus has been on single family houses. Well, from 2003 until 2000, January 2009 to be exact those first six years that we were investing in single-family houses here in our small area of only 40,000 people. That's our total target market.

All I knew to do, Randy, all I knew to do was to go to the local bank, get on my hands and knees, and put my hands underneath my chin, and pull my skirt up so they could look at my personal financial statements and show all my personal you know, assets and say, please fund my deal, please fund my deal. That's all I knew to do. Well, something changed big time in January 2009. I mean, I had done a ton of deals those first six years. Steve was my banker. We had a great working relationship. Well, I called up Steve. Actually, I was sitting here at my desk. Randy, you may find it hard to believe that here in North Carolina, we actually still have handsets and cords attached to the actually called a a landline right so I called picked up the phone and I called Steve my banker and I told him about these two houses that I had under contract to purchase they represented over a hundred thousand dollars in

profit on these two deals and so I'm talking with Steve on the phone and I learn on that telephone conversation Randy like that that my line of credit at the bank where I'd been having my line of credit for six years, was shut down, closed, nothing, I mean, is no way to fund my deals. And so I'm like in shock. And I'm talking to Steve and I said, Steve, what in the world are you talking about? You've shut down my line of credit.

He says, Jay, don't you know there's a global financial crisis going on right now globally? I said no, but now you've just given me a global financial crisis because I got no way to fund these two deals. So I hung up the phone and I sat here for a moment and here's a writer-downer. I'm going to share the question and that's where the power is. I'm going to share the question that I ask myself sitting here at this very desk. I ask myself this question and this question, if you're listening to this podcast,

this question will help you solve any problem you've got in your life. Talk about maternal life. I don't care if it's personal, financial, health, relationship, career. I don't care what your problem is. This question will help you quickly solve your problem. And by the way, Randy, these people going around saying, oh, every problem's an opportunity. I want to throw up. I didn't have no opportunity.

I had a problem, right? And so here's the question. Who do I know that can help me with my. problem. Yeah. You see, so many of us, we, you know, we got this ego thing that we need, we got to, particularly if you're a guy, you just got to fix, you just got to fix your own stuff, right? Wrong. Who do I know that can help me with my problem? And so, in fact, there's a great book out. I'm sure you're familiar with it, Randy, who not how. It's a massive book. Yeah, a great book. In fact, the co-author, I actually got to meet him in person not too long ago and had him on my show.

But anyway, when I asked myself that question, who do I know that can help me my problem? I immediately thought of Jeff Blankenship, dear friend of mine and Carol Joyce. He was investing in real estate in Greensboro, North Carolina at the time. We know him through church and singing events and stuff. So I immediately thought of Jeff. I called up Jeff right here on the phone. And I told Jeff what had happened with me and my banker. He said, well, Jay, welcome to the club.

I said, what club? He said the club of losing your line of credit at the bank. My bank just shut me down last week. I said, well, Jeff, how are you going to fund your deals now that we've got something else in common? And he says, well, have you ever heard of private money? I said, no. He said, have you ever heard of self-directed IRAs? You call them something different in Canada.

And I said, no, I never heard a self-directed. IRAs or third party custodians. He says, well, let me tell you about it. So Jeff told me a little bit about private money, what it is and self-directed IRAs, how people that have retirement funds can actually, if they're not happy with their returns, can move them over to a self-directed IRA company and then loan that money out to real estate investors, either tax deferred or tax-free. Yeah. We can do it in Canada as well. Yeah. And what's it called in Canada? R-SPs. RSPs, that's right.

I've heard that 100 times and I just can't, RSP doesn't stick in my head. But anyway, so I studied private money and how private, I never heard of private money, well, I never needed to hear of private money until I didn't have any money to fund my deal. So I studied private money and one of the first things I learned about private money. By the way, I'm not talking about hard money. I'm not talking about hard money brokers. I'm not talking about any kind of institutional money. talking about doing business with individuals, other human beings that have got investment

capital and or retirement funds that want to be totally passive, get really, really nice rates of return and do nothing. Just sit back, get the return on their investment, right? So I studied it. And one of the first things I learned, Randy, was that in this world of private money, here's what's different. We as the borrower, we is the real estate investor, we make the rules, not the lender. Oh, it wasn't that a mind shift. You know, when I was borrowing money from the banks, they made the rules. They were applications.

In this world, we make the rules. So, you know, here's what's interesting. I got 47 private lenders right now investing in our deals, loaning us money. And you know what, Randy? Not one of those private lenders, not one of those 47 private lenders ever heard of private money, never heard of private lending, never heard of self-directed IRAs until I did something until I put on my teacher hat, my private money teacher hat, and I taught them what private money is and how they can earn high rates of returns safely and securely by being a private

lender. So none of these 47 private lenders funding our deals had ever heard of it, didn't know what it was never heard of self-readed IRAs and here's here's an actionable item by the way establish a relationship with an RSP company or self-directed IRA company so that when you're talking with somebody in your network that's got retirement funds and they're not happy with it you can refer them to your rep and and they can learn how they can move their money over and then be a private lender for you with their retirement funds so 47 private lenders I have you. yet, here's what's interesting, Randy, I have yet to ask anybody for money since I started using private money. And people say, Jay, how do you have $8.5 million available to you in private funding

and you never ask anybody for money? Here's the secret. I separate the conversations between teaching what private money is and how they can get involved and then having a deal for them to fund. You see, desperation has got a smell to it. Yes. And if I'm talking about private lending and how you can get involved and I got a deal for you to fund, I sound like I'm desperate. So I teach it. Then I say, look, I'll get back with you just as soon as possible and I'll put your money to work for you. And then a little bit of time ago by, maybe a couple of weeks, two or three weeks, and I'll call up my private lender with what I call the great news phone call.

And here's the great news phone call. I'll call them up. I say, Randy, you is my new private lender. I've got great news for you. I can now put your money to work. I got a house in Newport, North Carolina under contract with an after-repared value of $200,000. The funding required for the deal is $150,000. By the way, I know you've got $150,000.

You already told me you're waiting for the phone call. The funding requires $150,000, closing $150,000. closing is next Friday, so you'll need to have your funds wired to my real estate attorney's trust account. By next Thursday, I'm going to have my real estate attorney email you the wiring instructions. End of conversation. The most stupid question I could ask is do you want to fund the deal? Of course you want to fund the deal. You're waiting for the phone call to put your money to work. And especially if I have introduced you to the company I recommend in the U.S. for self-directed IRAs, if you have moved your money over to that self-directed IRA company,

you're not making any money until I put your money to work for you. So you see, it's all about mindset. People ask me all the time, they say, Jay, how do I get started? How do I get started raising private money? Here's the answer. It's going to be very hard for you to own real estate. using private money until you own the real estate between your ears. And what I mean by that is we're not chasing, begging, selling, persuading, or talking anybody

into anything instead of asking or applying for a mortgage, we're offering a mortgage and showing people away they can earn high rates of returns safely and securely that they never even heard about. That is awesome. I love the fact that we make up the rules or you make up the rules. It's just a reverse, a reversal and it's magic. By the way, everybody, as you're listening here, you must stay till the very, very end. We've got a special, special gift for you, but you must stay till the end. And Jay is going to give us an amazing gift to give away. Now, Jay, a question about markets. There's always a shift in the market and navigating those shifts with the private lenders, with your own business. How do you handle that? If the market is shifting and, you know, you've got

private lenders asking you questions like, what about the market? It's changing. How do you respond to that? Yeah. Well, as markets tighten up, I like it better. And here's why. It clears the playing field. I tell you what, HGTV educated, stupid, stupid offers, right? And so when the market's been so hot, you got all these other new real estate investors out there that are making these stupid offers, So as the market's tightened, it clears the playing field. Of course, I would never, never ask for any kind of a downturn on anybody. But hey, it's a fact. Real estate is a cyclical business.

I started in the mobile home manufactured housing business when I was a teenager. So I've already lived through seven cycles already. And so it doesn't matter. It does not matter what the market is doing. People ever since the beginning of time have been buying and selling. Everybody's got to have a shelter. They got to have a place to live. One of my mentors way back in the 1980s, he was buying and selling houses as a real estate investor

when mortgage rates were 16%. And people were buying houses, right? So it comes down to, are you, buying right? Are you buying at the right price and are you hedging against what the market's going to do in the short period of time? For example, when I'm paying all cash with private money, the formula that I use is I take the after repaired value. Now, that is if I'm going to rehab and renovate that house. I take the after repaired value and I multiply times 70 percent. That accounts for my my, my profit, my carrying costs, I multiplied on 70%. Then I subtract the estimated repairs.

And if the after repaired value is less than 300,000, I throw in another $10,000 for Murphy. I call it the Murphy factor. If anything can go wrong, it will because I've never had a rehab budget come in on budget. If the after repaired value is above $300,000, I throw in an extra $20,000, right, for the unexpected. So let me just give a quick little example. So let's say the for simple, for simple figuring. Let's say the after repaired value is $200,000. All right. Now I know in California, you can't even buy an outhouse with a toilet for $200,000, but we'll just keep it for simple figuring. So you got an after-apparent value on a house of 200,000. So I want to multiply that. Now, this is my offer. I'm going to multiply that times 70%. That equals 140,000. Let's say that the

renovation budget is 30,000 on that small house. That gives me 110,000. Now remember, I'm going to subtract another 10,000 for the unexpected for Murphy. So on that 200,000, after repaired value house, I'm going to offer a maximum of $100,000, which is 50% of the after repaired value. I do that all the time. I buy houses all the time when I'm paying all cash for private money, 50% or less of the after repaired value. But now let's continue our example and follow the cash flow. I can borrow up to one, up to, uh, 75% of the after repaired value. So the after repaired value is 200,000, 75% or 200,000, 150,000. So I can borrow $150,000. Do you see now why I never take a check to the closing table?

I never pull any money out of my pocket. In fact, I always get a check when I buy without taking in my so if I'm borrowing 150,000 in this example, and that's being wired into my closing attorney, trust account here comes 150,000 dollars boom I'm buying for a hundred well what's the excess cash to close check that I'm bringing home 50,000 right I'm bringing home a I mean who wants to get paid to buy houses so I'm bringing home a $50,000 check when I buy and you know less some closing cost to the attorney I'm going to use 30,000 of that for the rehab maybe another 10 for the unexpected but that still leaves me an extra $10,000 of the equity that I pulled out that I can use

for carrying costs, marketing, whatever I want to do. Private money is the quickest way to put an infusion of cash in your checkbook. Hmm. Love it, love it, love it. You talked about going through seven different cycles and we know cycles, you know, boom, slump recovery, boom, slump recovery. That just happens in every market. We just don't know the duration and the timing of it all the time. However, you've got seven cycles of experience. How many cycles did it take before you? Okay, I get this because I've been through for myself.

And even at times when you're in the cycle, you're going, well, no, it's different, but they're all the same. They're all the same in some ways. were you wise to the cycle early on or did it take a few cycles to really grasp the knowledge of the cycle that's a good question as you said nobody's got a crystal ball no sometimes cycles happen overnight excuse me not the cycle the shift the shift the shift yes i mean 2007 8 and 9 depending on where you were in the country that i mean particularly particularly 2009, that was like a spiket that turned off overnight.

I remember the day. I remember the day. I mean, I tell you what my trigger was, and then you tell me, when Lehman Brothers shut down, the world stopped. October 2008. There you go. Yeah. And that's probably the most definite cycle change that I've seen, from the boom to the slump,

that was probably, like out of all the cycles I've been in, that one was the most defined, definite, okay, it changed today. It changed today. Yep. And you see, that ties right in with my phone call in January 2009 to my banker. I mean, you had Lehman Brothers, you know, everything like the Spigot turns off in October, which was just two months prior. And for all I know, I don't even have a deal to buy using my local bank.

in those two months. And I just happened to find out when I make the phone call in January 2009 that, woo, my money's gone. But you know what? You know what, Randy? It was really, honestly, it was the biggest game changer. It was the biggest blessing in disguise when I lost that because I had to make a decision.

Am I gonna go to the house with my tail in between my legs? and be a victim or am I going to find a better and quicker way to fund my deals? And you know what? And it comes back to asking the question, who do I know? Who do I know? Right. And you know, here's what's interesting, Randy. Within the next 12 months of starting to use private money, our business tripled.

Triple. And here's why. I had all this private money now available to me. People didn't know what to do with their money. They didn't know a sale. place to put it stock markets all over the place that's still happening today stock markets all over the place people were looking for a reliable place to park their money and get a reliable nice return and all these foreclosures

were going on I mean foreclosures were all over the place but guess what you had to have all the cash to buy them and the lenders and banks weren't loaning money so if you needed all the cash to buy these foreclosures and the banks weren't loaned and money. Now I got all this private money. I was able to pick and choose the deals that I wanted to do because of all this available. So it's like it's like the perfect storm vortex just came together and I have not missed out on a deal since that time for not having the funding. In fact, Randy, I got a problem. I got over one and a half million dollars in private.

money just sitting there on the sidelines waiting for me to use and this is just an example there's always more money if you know where to get it there's always more money available than there are deals which reminds me randy and i'll turn it back over to you these gurus going around teaching i want to throw up going around teaching and i know i'm getting ready to say something i know you heard it i'm getting ready to say something i know you have heard it i'm going to say something i know you have heard it and it drives me stupid crazy. They'll say quote unquote, oh, just get the deal under contract. The money has show up. And I want to go, where is the money going to show up? Is it just going to rain down out of clouds or something? No, that's why I practice and preach. Get the money lined up

first. There's always going to be deals and just think how much more confident. You're going to be in making offers when you know you got $500,000 burning a hole in your pocket, ready to go to work. How many more offers are you going to make? Get the money lined up first, and then you're not going to miss out on any deals. Awesome, awesome stuff. Well, let's shift gears a little bit because I think there's something really profound that probably went through your mind back in 2009, 2010, when the shift was happening.

And I want to dig into a little bit of the philosophy and mindset because in that moment, that was a crucible moment when you walked in the bank and they said, hey, your LOC's locked up, no more. What was your mind thinking? How did you process? How did you get through that crucible moment to then get up and go and reinvent yourself, so to speak? I'm so glad you asked the question because that allows me to share a form. that I learned from Jack Canfield, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul series, years and years ago,

this formula that I'm getting ready to share will serve you in so many different ways. And here's the formula, and I'll explain it. The formula is E, which stands for event, plus R, which stands for response, your response to the event, equals outcome. E plus R equals outcome. So let me unpack that formula. Unfortunately, most people walking around live by a different formula. Most people walking around live by the following formula,

E equals O. They're living by a formula of whatever the event that happens in my life determines my outcome and determines my state of affairs. whatever that event is. Well, that's called a victim mentality, right? The tide is taking you wherever the tide will take you. And so let me give you an example. I have a dear friend, his name is David, very, very close now for 20 years.

David grew up in Kentucky, and his father died when he was seven years old. And for decades and decades, David lived in a world with the formula E equals O. He had a belief system that because his father died when he was seven years old, that determines my outcome for the rest of my life. My daddy died when I was seven. Well, what do you expect me to accomplish? That was his excuse for whatever went wrong in his life.

But then some years ago, he learned this formula, the E plus R equals O. So you see, the event that happens in your life, maybe you brought it, maybe you brought it into your life. Maybe you didn't. Well, David didn't do have anything to do with his father passing away. He had nothing to do with that. However, here's what's so empowering. And this is so empowering. You may not have anything to do with that event in your life.

Maybe you had cancer, whatever. It doesn't matter what the problem is. But guess what? You can be 100% responsible for determining what you want your response to be to that event. And it is your response to that event that determines your outcome. That determines what you're experiencing. My story I just shared, I'm cut off from the bank, right? Well, you know, for years, I didn't think I had anything to do with that experience.

I had everything to do with that experience because I had all my eggs in one basket. I was relying on commercial banks. And so until I got slapped in the face and lost my line of credit, I had been to no seminars. I'd been to no education. Well, that's on me. If I had been educated prior, then I would have had other alternatives. But nonetheless, whether I caused the event or not, of being cut off from the banks,

I was 100% responsible in responding to that event. I could have lived by E equals O. I could, the event I'm cut off from the banks, okay, I'm out of business. There's my outcome. I'm out of business. Or I could be 100% responsible and respond to that event of losing my line of credit and having this characteristic, which if you want to be a real estate investor, you better get you a boatload of what I'm getting ready to say.

and that is resilience. Yes. Resilience. Because I promise you what you plan ain't going to happen. Mm-hmm. Right? So resilience. So I responded to the event of losing my run on the credit

with finding other and better alternative ways to fund my deals. Therefore, I was responsible for my outcome. So that's a long answer to your question, Randy. But there it is. Remember the formula that puts you in the driver's seat, E plus R equals O. Let me ask you another question because I'm working on a book and a few things around this. And resilience is one of the powers. I call it not necessarily the superpower, but the primal power.

You know, superpowers are these things that, you know, we see in movies and there's something, you know, special about being able to shoot lightning bolts out of your fingers. but primal, primal power, it's within us. It's the instinct that we have. And so I work around this concept of trust. Trust is built in everything, and we need to have incredible trust, not only in people around us, but in ourselves. We have to have hope, which is really the future of where we're going.

We need to be vulnerable so we can actually listen and see and understand. And then resilience. So it's almost like building a house. trust is a foundation, hope is a wall, vulnerability is another wall, and the roof is really resilience, which makes us really what I call underdogs of the world, like that underdog mentality. Would you agree with that? I love it, and I want the book when you finish it. When are you going to finish it? I'm working on it, working on it. Yeah.

But I love the analogy. Did you say your foundation is trust? Trust is the foundation. Let me tell you why I love that. Because actually, from my perspective, when you say trust is the foundation, that's really a spiritual foundation is really what that is. I can't see trust. I can't put trust in a box, you know. But I know what trust feels like. Right.

And, you know, who are you trusting in? Like you said, the people around you? Well, me personally, I mean, for goodness sakes, I can't even trust myself 100% of the time to perform the way I'm supposed to. But I don't mind sharing my trust is in my creator and my God. I mean, that's where the trust for me, the foundation is. Hope ties right into it. I love the roof analogy, which is resilience.

That's like what's protecting you from the elements, right? Yeah, I love the analogy. Yeah, the adversity of the world. And vulnerability keeps you humble and true to who you are. So, yeah, awesome. I love that because I'll tell you what, I've not seen very many arrogant people last a very, very long time. Because, I mean, straight out of the Bible, you know,

the quote that says, Lest they fall, be careful, be careful. Right. You know, when you think you're on top of the mountain, be careful because there's a huge cliff right up there at the top. Yes. Yeah. Well, we're in the people business. Everybody's in the people business, even if they don't realize they're in the people business. And we all vibrate at some level, low, some people vibrate low, some people vibrate high.

I imagine you're vibrating at a very high level. At least I'm feeling this high level of vibration. Oh, yeah. And I'm sure that really boasts well for you in your work, in your business. Is there something that you can relate to and help others understand that power of vibration when it comes to work, life, harmony, balance, and all that? Yeah. Answer this question.

Who are you hanging around most of the time? Because who I'm hanging around most of the time affects my vibrational? You know, I can only give off my positive vibration so much to where if I'm hanging around a lot of low vibrating people, i.e. negative people. I just don't want my vibrations sucked up to where I ain't got no positive vibration left to give. But you know what? When I'm hanging around like-minded people, I mean, imagine it being, I mean, I'm in a mastermind called Family Mastermind. I've run my own mastermind group as well. of very, very successful real estate investors. But twice a year in that mastermind, we get together, all them people are Jay Connor on steroids. And it's like, you know, it's like talk about getting juiced up, you know. Jim Rohn gets the credit of the quote, you are the average of the five people that you hang around most of the time. And so, yeah, be careful.

There's another E plus R equals O. You are 100% responsible to determine who you are hanging around. So true. So true. What is your greatest gift, Jay? What is your greatest gift? You know, I've been given so many gifts that it humbles me. My greatest gift, I would say to where I'm able to make a difference in other people's lives is listening.

when I'm one-on-one with somebody and I know they're needing to talk or they're needing to bleed or share, then the most powerful lesson you can give somebody is listen. Don't try to be brilliant. Don't try to be some offer some kind of brilliant advice, you know. Be a good listener and be someone you can count on. I mean, you know, I tell people all the time. If you just do what you say you're going to do, you just live. left 95% of the crowd in the dust, right?

Be true to your word. Do what you say you're going to do. And it's all about sewing. It ain't about reaping. It is not about reaping. It's all about giving. One of my favorite books is The Go-Giver. I'm sure you heard of that, Randy.

And Bob Berg, Bob Berg is the co-author. And I was so blessed to have. Bob Berg is a guest on my podcast in recent months and if you're listening to this podcast and you don't have the go-giver book I highly recommend it it's a short read it'll really make an impact on your life as to what can happen when you truly lead with a servant's heart. You've been dropping some great books great great books how important is it and we talked about the five closest people people, but books can be one of those people. Is there a book that people must read from your vantage

point? I'll share the book that changed my life, in addition to the Bible, of course. I read it when I was 24 years old. It's still in print today, and it changed the way I look at life and everything that happens. I'm guessing at the book, I'm guessing at the book, but you say and then I'll see if I'm right. Sure. So the book is University of Success. That's not the book I was thinking of, no. Right.

University of Success by Og Mandino. And what Ogmandino did is during that, that was in the early 1980s, still in print today. And what he did is he invited all these personal development, well-known people, Norman Vincent Peel, all those people, to contribute different semesters to the University of Success book. And each chapter is pretty short, three or four pages,

but every chapter is a critical lesson if you want to be successful. What's my definition of successful? Successfulness simply means being happy while you're making a difference. If you could give one or two sentence to making a bulletproof business or life, I think life is more important than business, but is there something that you could share with our listeners that just make their life almost bulletproof?

What is bulletproof these days? I don't know. It's a great thing. Well, bulletproof sort of means being prepared for. whatever comes your way, right? And you mentioned books. So one of the most important practices that I would share is read 10 pages a day. Read 10 pages a day of a nonfiction book, autobiographicals or biographies of people that you want to be like, personal development books. When you're reading 10 pages a day, that'll make a huge difference.

Yeah. Awesome stuff. Let's shift gears one more time and let's get into a little bit of maybe the professional journey. And we've talked a lot about that, but we'll get a little bit more specific. You have molded yourself, created yourself to be somebody that is a great leader, a great teacher, a great investor, also a go-giver to many, many people. is this the best version of you? Is this the best business idea that you've had? Or are you still going from success to significance in that shift? Oh, I'm still going from success to significance. The best version of me is yet to come. The best version is still yet to come because I'm still growing every day. Okay.

Then if the best version is yet to come, what's the next big idea for Jay the next big idea for me is to become actually even more involved in the singing aspect of our church so my wife Carol Joy and I we are composers and lyricist I've my music has been in Universal Studios in the past and so we're very involved in a church so in fact my wife Carol and I we just finished a song yesterday that we had written and we're now planning a great big annual event six months from now called singing by the sea to where we're looking to have hundreds and hundreds of hundreds of people come here to eastern North Carolina for this singing event so

the church and music is a very very big part of mine and Carol Joy's life well it sounds like you got a beautiful tenor tone I love singing tenor but I sort of to max out of the high g. I'm more of a baritone to tell you the truth, but I sing tenor. That's awesome. Okay, well, let's let's dive into that a little bit because that is something so different than what we've been talking about. What is the secret, or the secret sauce, to making an amazing song? Your emotions, your attitude, and what is it that you're going through right now. Some of the best music that I've written has come about out of pain and out of stress and out of sadness from death. My grandfather was my spiritual leader for many, many years, and when he

passed away, that's actually when I started writing music for the church. So strong emotions, such as love, et cetera, inspire the words and inspire the music. I just finished a great book by Gino Wickman, which his father was Floyd Wickman, which is a real estate trainer from the past. And it's an amazing book called Shine. And he talks about entrepreneurs and being driven and why we make decisions and how we make decisions. And I mean, pain or pleasure is generally how we make decisions. But he changed it to fear and love.

And fear and love, there's such. strong emotions on either end. And so this is where, you know, greatness happens and greatness comes out of us. When we're in incredible fear of something, things happen. We get through things that we would never get through, but we also do that through love because they're so strong those two emotions. And you talk about them in your ability to write through the pain and the fear and the love and the joy.

Yeah, that's incredible. Well, that's interesting. And so it's interesting. Fear, the emotion of fear and the emotion of love cannot simultaneously coexist. They cannot. They cannot. That is true. Can you not be so fearful of love?

I can't remember ever being fearful of love. Hey, if somebody wants to love me, I'm not scared of that. Good question. Yes. But that book dives into being the true self, which is really a great read, true self. I love it, love it. The power of proximity, proximity is power. Have this, has this been something really powerful for you?

And it could be family, it could be business partners, it could be somebody you met once, just once. Can you share a story of that? Yes. I was a senior in college, and I was home for Christmas break. I went to Wake Forest University. I was home for Christmas break in my senior year,

and who do you know that walked into our living room at Christmas, but Glenn Campbell, the country music star. Wow. And he was day, a friend of mine from high school Kim they ended up getting married having children and so I played have yourself a merry little Christmas in our living room as Glenn Campbell sang the song have yourself a Merry Christmas and he hung out with us for about three hours there on Christmas afternoon and that was pretty cool but let me share another one the one of my

mentors that has made a huge impact, huge like lasting forever impact, was Zig Ziglar. And Zig, of course, passed away a few years ago. And I had the pleasure of meeting him in person twice. Once when I was 24 years old in Dallas, Texas, I was in Dallas for a couple of months. And there was an ad in the paper and there was this television program that they were recording and it was called Dawn, D-A-W-N. They were recording it at 7 o'clock in the morning, and they needed a studio audience. It stood for Dynamic Achievers Worldwide Network. That was the Dawn TV show.

And so free tickets, just come be in the audience. Well, man, I was there all over to see Zig Ziglar in person. And so I met him, and he was just as genuine and just as kind and motivating in person. as he was, and now I'm getting ready to date myself, as he was on those cassette tapes. I listen to every cassette tape, every sales training cassette tape that I think Zig Ziglar ever recorded. But yeah, his book, he wrote many books,

but his book, See You at the top, is still phenomenal on my list. Yes, Zig, a man well missed. Vision boards, is there something that you've worked with No, you know, I have it. I've got some really good friends that, you know, have their vision boards. They're looking at their vision boards all the time. And I have a pretty strong vision in my mind.

And I practice vision, et cetera, as I'm going to sleep. And when I'm waking up in the morning, I listen to theta waves, theta waves in my earbuds. And that's the creative state that is. is generated when I listen to that. The Theta state is where you are right before you go to sleep and right as you're waking up, that's the most creative time. But that's the closest I come to a vision board.

Well, you know, I believe that we have the two greatest gifts given to us when we're birthed, which is our imagination and our curiosity. And somehow along the way those get left behind as we age. Because when we're children, it's like, We have this wild imagination and this crazy curiosity. Daddy, daddy, daddy. What about this?

What about that? Yet we somehow forget them. And they are our greatest, greatest vision board. Like nothing can replace my imagination. Right. Yet we park them on a shelf at some point in our lives as we think we got to get serious and forget about imagining and being curious and all that kind of stuff. Has anything limited?

your success that you go, gosh, I really need the listeners to hear this so they don't use it or have it as a limiting thing for their own success. Yes. Distractions. Shiny object syndrome. So the lesson learned on that is stay focused on what you are working on and do not allow yourself to be distracted. But all that other shiny object syndrome stuff, it's, It's okay to explore other opportunities, but don't explore other opportunities in the midst of distracting you from whatever goal and projectory that you're on right now. If you're going to do another shiny object syndrome, then the question is, what are you going to prune and what are you going to cut out?

Because you can't do it all. Right. Right. There's this theory, the billionaire test. the billionaire test, which a billionaire often bets against the consensus of others and finds a niche that nobody else has thought. Think of Amazon. Think of a lot of these billionaires that have made it.

They've gone against the tide. Is there anything that you can share with our listener that you think could go against the tide for the billionaire test? Wow. Big question. Tell me the billionaire test again. The billionaire test is that often billionaires go against the consensus. They actually go against the flow of the river or the flow of where everybody else is going.

And they find a niche or a sweet spot that nobody's touched and create something. That is a great question. Well, you know, I've heard it said time and time again. that people will say, whatever the majority is doing, whatever the crowd is doing, go the opposite way. Right. You know, you hear that advice. As far as here in the world of real estate investing,

I've just stayed in my lane by and large ever since 2003, and that's single family houses. I mean, I've done other projects, but that's the lane I've stayed in. I didn't allow myself to be distracted. in recent years where everybody's chasing apartments here in the United States. And all my friends are saying,

you're stupid, Jay, you're missing out on all these apartment opportunities. And I said, well, I'm just gonna have to miss out because I'm staying in the lane that I enjoy. I'm staying in the lane that I know. And quite frankly, I'm not interested in learning anything else as far as that goes. So I stay in my lane.

I think that's great advice. And let's be honest, you know, the power. Half of a billionaire is not easy, and yet many want to chase it, but stay in the lane. That has served me incredibly well as well, because that shiny object syndrome can often push us into other lanes or force us to look over our lane into another lane. And gosh, wouldn't there be a lot of people that want your rut, your lane? like think about that how many people would love here right jay how many people would want my rut and so

you have to like step back and go wow this is a really good rot let's stay here exactly exactly and by the way by the way randy um i apologize but i'm on another podcast in three minutes so if i can give that gift away to your audience i would love to do it before we sign off let it rip what's the gift that you're willing to do so i'm so excited about my book I finally finished writing it. My book is titled, Where to Get the Money Now. Subtitle is how and where to get money for your real estate deals without relying on institutional lenders, etc. This is a book book. It's not downloadable. I'll actually mail it to you, priority mail. It's 20 bucks on Amazon, but it's yours for free. Just cover a little bit of shipping and handling.

I'll autograph it. If you're in the U.S., I'll send it out to you. If you're in Canada, I'll send it out to you. And here's how you get this book that'll get you all the money you need for your real estate deals. www. www.j-Connor, J-A-Y-C-O-N-N-E-R dot com forward slash book. That's Jay-Connor, J-A-Y-C-O-N-N-E-R dot com forward slash book. And come follow me and check me out on my podcast, which is raising private money with Jay Conner. You can find that on any of your podcast platforms. and I'm always interviewing amazing people as to how they have raised private money.

And so come follow me on the podcast as well. Fantastic, Jay. What a great interview. Thank you so much. You've brought so much value today. And yes, listeners, go check out Jay at jayconnor.com. And as far as getting the book, that would be such an amazing gift. So thank you for being a guest on the Return of Life podcast.

Jay, appreciate you. Thank you so much, Randy. Thank you for having me and God bless. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.