KGCI: Real Estate on Air - Woman to Woman Redefining Home and Heart Bettina Sastoque

Episode Date: June 13, 2025

Hello, everybody. It's Marguerite and got my hair pulled back today. I wasn't having a great hair day. So I had to do the ponytail thing, but that's all right. I'm good with it. Today, I'm excited to have a very special guest. I've known this gal now for, I think, a little over eight years. And I met her when I first joined the EXP and I just instantly fell in love with her and her amazing husband. And so today we have Bettina Sastokueckway. I hope I got that right. I spent 18 years in real estate. Before that, she had a successful soccer coaching academy, which I think is cool. And wanting more time with her family, she switched to real estate.

She loves helping people with buying and selling needs and enjoys guiding fellow realtors to success. Bettina and her awesome husband Juan focused on building wealth for generations and helping others. They're eager to share their experiences and knowledge with everybody. So welcome, welcome, my beautiful friend. Yay. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to have you hear you and I got to chat the other day because I was a guest on your podcast. What's the name of your podcast now? I'll start collaborative. So we'll be sure to put a link in the bio for her podcast. You're going to want to go check it out. Thank you. It's fun. It was so much fun talking to you. I know we like just went on and on. We could we probably could have talked for eight hours and been okay. But we had to wrap it up a little. So I'm sorry. so excited you're here today. And how are things going for you and Juan? How's life? Life is good. Juan and I are doing good. It's interesting because we're in going, how we just keep going through

different phases. So now we're going through our next transitional phase. And I'm excited to see where that takes us. So what do you think that transitional phase, where is that taking you? Do you have any idea? I don't, but we're open. So Sebastian just, graduated high school. He's going to go to Portugal in six weeks. Ava's homeschooled. So that means it gives us a little bit more freedom. My in-laws, not his in-laws. My in-laws are older. So we want to make sure we get to spend time with them. They live here close to us. And then I have been spending a lot of time on Google Maps, saving all the places that I want to visit. And that keeps going to be more and more. And I'm really loving and enjoying serving agents, like helping agents. That has become a lot of

fun. And I'm just doing little projects around that, like the podcast, a book, and courses. And just sharing all the things that we've just accumulated through the years of wisdom through our failed lessons, right? As well as wisdom that we've gained from. other folks like you who are just so willing to share your valuable lessons so that we don't have to fail in those areas. We can go, we can pick something else to learn our lessons from. And just sharing that. What's so funny about that is that we all have to learn our own way. And as much as, especially with our kids, as much as you would love for your kids to just listen to you and

avoid the mistakes that you make, I'm so fascinated by how they really have to learn their own way. And then I think back to when I was that age. And I was just thinking about this yesterday because, you know, my mom actually passed away quite a few years ago. And there's so much that I would love to thank her for, apologize to her for, right? Because you don't understand things until you walk through those shoes. Even if somebody tries to tell you, don't do that.

Don't go that direction. Don't. Here's what happened to me when I did it. A couple things. It might not happen to you in the same way that it happened to me. And you won't learn that lesson until you actually experience it. Like I would love to think that we do, but we don't. And then all of a sudden we go, oh, my mom was right.

Oh, yeah. I remember Bettina telling me not to do that. Like all of a sudden it like clicks for you. So interesting. I know that you're getting ready to go. with Sebastian taken off. And so I'll tell a quick story and then I'll dive into you.

When I was 17 years old, I could not wait to get out of my mom's house. I literally graduated high school on a Friday and Saturday I had my stuff packed and I was gone. And I remember, I moved in with a friend. We got a little apartment and I just, I was ready

to go. And I remember my mom standing on the porch and you could see her doing everything in her power to keep it together. But You could also tell that she was a little emotional. I was like, ah, forget you. And I took off. Like, I did not care.

I didn't even think about that moment until fast forward. My youngest son, John, he was a lot like me, a little personality like mine. And he had turned 18 and he finished school and he was ready to go out on his own. He was going to move up to Tahoe. And all as I remember is the car driving down the road, the driveway, and I just cried my eyes out. I was a hot mess. I was a basket case.

For how many days were you a basket? Oh, I'm not going to lie. It was probably a good year before. Oh, my. And all I remember is thinking back to that day when I left my mom and thinking that it was no big deal. And all of a sudden, all that came rushing back to me, and I was like, okay, I get it now.

understand. And it's funny because I used to call and text John all the time. Finally, he's mom. You're like a crazy ex-girlfriend. And you got to give me some space. And I was heartbroken. I'm like, John, it's like you're breaking up with me. Like I've spent all these years, tucking you in at night and looking at your little face and you get up and you think about him all day. He's like, mom, I'm not breaking up with you, but I'm a grown man now. I need to go figure out my life. I was like, okay. What's great is you like gave him the power to set boundaries, which is beautiful, but that part. Oh, it was so I'm just feeling for you now. They come back around, right? Oh, yeah. They lose their mind for a few years. Now my boys are 27 and 29 and they call me a lot

and talk to me about things and stuff, but I also have to remember not to be too nosy, right? Not to be to when one of them I don't hear from them for a few days, I'm going through a little panic mode. You're going through Facebook? Oh, they're not on Facebook. My kids are not on Facebook. And what's funny is my son, John, is on Instagram a lot, so I see his Instagram. And then he was on Twitter for a bit, but he had to block me on Twitter because he posts all kinds of what he considers funny and joke stuff. And I take it serious and I flip out.

So, Mom, you cannot follow me on Twitter. it's just not it's not mom appropriate it's not mom appropriate so he has me blocked on twitter i don't even know if he uses twitter anymore but and but my son jake is hardly on social media once in a while he'll go on facebook and randomly he might go on instagram he's been doing some stuff on tic talk yeah my i had to learn chat and ticot i think that's that generation so facebook like my daughter was sharing with me that facebook is what old people use right and i was like I'm just letting you know that my spirit is young. Like inside, it's very young.

Okay. Yeah. So when you say the next phase, so your son is heading to Portugal, you said, or Peru? Yeah, Portugal for six weeks. We'll see how that plays out. I'm just really excited that he's trying something new. I'm excited. He's excited.

I'm in that phase where I had this in my head that we would go together. I would go with him. I've never been a Portugal. I'm like, how amazing would that be? We could have this together. This could be our time. And because I went to Thailand with Ava for three weeks. I'd do that with him.

And he was like, Mom, no. And when he said, no, my whole family was there. And they thought it might, I don't know what expression I had, but they thought it was hilarious. They just thought, they thought that my heartbreak was amusing, but that's okay. And so now I'm like very proud and terrified at the same time, but I'm excited and for his next journey. And I'm like, I couldn't be more happy for him. And so in that, we're just like trying to figure, I'm trying it all. Right now, we're just

trying it all. See what sticks. See what I love. The podcast. Thank you for being a guest. I committed to doing it for a year. I had no idea that I would love. love it as much as I would love it. I did a one-year coaching program where I go to L.A. And with other folks who are looking for that transformation as well, they're all in that season. They want to go to that next level, right? Whatever that next level is for, I'm probably, I think there's three realtors out of, I don't know, several hundreds. So it's a lot of a huge, fabulous mix of high-level folks. And we're all just trying new things. And trying not to be afraid, not even trying, just going and doing it afraid anyways.

Exilarating. Just like I get, assume when you first started this podcast, it was probably like, first I stole my son's mic. And I just, I didn't overthink it. I was like, I had a bad, not a good mic, my computer mic, but did it anyways. It's so funny because when I first started, I've had this podcast for, I think a little over 10 years, close to 10 years. It's been a long time. And when I first started my podcast back in the day, first of all, it wasn't really that much of a thing. Like, people didn't really know what podcasts were. And we did it on pre-conference call.com. It was only audio. And what's funny is somewhere I have

a lot of those original podcasts and they were all audio and the sound was horrible, right? We were doing it on a phone. That's what we had. But I actually ended up. with some really there's some cool interviews in there that I did and then we went on to Skype Skype had finally had video so we tried Skype and the connections were terrible it was yeah it was awful and then we went to Zoom and now we use Streamyard which is a lot much more professional level but I really honestly genuinely started it just because I wanted to talk to cool people yes wanted to build to reach out and see who could I get on the show And it's been primarily real estate mostly.

But I've had some pretty interesting guests. I had my brother was one of my first guests. My best friend, Brian, who runs a huge insurance company. I need to get him on the podcast again because we did his probably eight years ago. He runs, has 25,000 agencies. He's a big deal. But he's my best friend. And then I remember, do you know who the book The Go Giver by Bob Berg?

Yes. Okay. So I was on, I had read his book, loved his book. I was on his marketing email list. One day I'm like, I'm just going to ask if he would be on my podcast. And so I literally just shot an email and said, hey, I have this podcast. I'm a big fan of your books. I'd love to have you as a guest.

He literally replied in a couple seconds and, sure, I'd love to. I was like, oh my God, now what do I do? Now what do I do? The same thing that you've always done. That's funny. And it's funny because on Fridays, so the rhythm is on Fridays, you have to, you do a bold ask. Oh. Every, get in that habit of every Friday having a bold ask. You might not get it, but just get into that rhythm of doing that. Oh, I'll have to try that out. Yeah. Yeah. Because how often will you just, what's good about you is that you just sent that email, right? But you probably got into a rhythm of.

of being comfortable with asking for things, even if you were not so sure how it was gonna turn out, how you were gonna do it, anything like that. You just knew you had confidence that you were gonna figure it out. I think for most of my life, I've been somewhat fearless, right, in certain areas, not everywhere area, but in some areas I've been pretty fearless.

And I'm not really intimidated by, anybody. So I don't really think of anybody as being, you know, holier than now or better or anything like that. And what I have learned, especially by being around so many high level people like you have, is that they put their pants on no different than anyone else. And what's interesting even for me is that I'm always amazed at how often people won't ask me for to do something or won't because they're like, oh, you're too busy or who am I to ask. you like I have nobody to ask you and I've always felt like that that's crazy right so I try to think of that in the same way when I'm reaching out the people that they're human and what's funny about

Bob Berg is he co-wrote that book with a guy named John David Mann and John David Mann ended up reaching out to me like later and said hey I would love to be on your podcast I was like oh I'd love to have you on my podcast wow and he's been on it I think twice and then he referred a couple people. And then I know the other day on your podcast, we were talking about my book. What was so interesting is that he, I remember having a lengthy conversation about my book and he kept saying, you have to publish that book. You have to publish that book.

And he ultimately called me one day and said, hey, did you publish that book? Because I'm writing a relationship book. And I would like to reference your book in my book. So isn't that weird how that like that whole like universe came and that's true. And so I think sometimes we think that it's like such a big world out there. And then as we progress and keep marching through, we realize it's really not that big. It's not very often that you have to go seven levels deep to get to somebody. It's we just a few. Usually everybody knows somebody who know somebody and that's it do you have a hot guest list of who you'd love to have on your show oh gosh

i don't i really should put in a list together yeah yeah i have a few people i would love to interview i'm just not sure how to get them who is that i would love to interview mel robbins oh yes i also would love to have gary v on my show yes that would be fun what would you ask? Okay, Mel Robbins. What would you ask Mel Robbins? Or what would you like her to share? I think that so many people know her kind of who she is now in the last few years. And she wrote that book, The Five Second Rule. Yes. I would love to know more about what her life was like when she was younger, like when she first got married, first had kids. Like what are some of the greatest lessons she has learned through those experiences? because I think that as moms sometimes or as women who've been through life, I feel a little bit of an obligation to help some of the younger generation go back, right?

Like one thing I've been wanting to post a video and I need to do it is I want to tell the mamas, take more pictures of your kids with you in them. Yes. I see so many pictures of their kids and their house. husbands and their lives where they're not in the pictures and they're not in the pictures because they don't want they they don't want whatever something they're made up in their head. They're not you they don't have their makeup on their hair is a mess. Their shirts ratty.

They're whatever they get in their head or I'm too fat right now or I'm too skinny right now or my. Whatever it is. Yeah. And so there's all these pictures and this came up a little bit yesterday because I have this client right now who we're it's an estate sale the gentleman passed away so the family has all been here this week going through the stuff personal belongings to get ready and of course they had this box of photo albums and pictures and a lot of the pictures didn't have people in them so those pictures

don't mean anything to anyone else but that person right that reminds me i remember when i was young and I travel with my dad and I take pictures. He says, you should always have somebody in the picture because it's never about the thing or the place. It's always about the person. It's always about the person in the place. And I was like, oh, when you said that. And then also, I think about this when it comes to putting me in the picture, right? I know that 20 years ago, I thought blank. about myself. Doesn't matter what it is. Now I'm like,

girl, you were hot. And I would look like that again. I'm in a bikini in every shot. It doesn't even matter. If I can look like that now, right? And I think, okay, I'm now, I'm 52.

When I'm 72, what am I going to think? I'm going to say, man, if I could look like, I did when I was 52, I would be wearing a bikini in having a shot. So what's hilarious is a couple, so in this last year, I gained quite a bit awake. I don't know, it's hormones like, oh, so I'm like, okay, no more.

And my girlfriend Brittany's gave me, okay, different raghole. But I was laying in the pool and my son, 18 year old son, who is a great person, but I'm going to say something that's going to make him sound not a little nasty. he walks in the back gate and he looks at me laying there my hat I've got a drink in my hand and just the music and I'm just happy as a clam and he starts laughing I'm going to take a picture and I was like yes at my first thought was and then I thought because I was laying there in a bikini and I was like in the reason is because I think tan fat just looks better than white fat. It's true. I'm going to tan the fat.

It's going to look better. So I just, yay. And he took that picture and I said, send it to me. And he sent it to me. And I was like, I am keeping this. And I'm sending it to two of my girlfriends, right? This is the biggest I've ever been in my life. But I'm sending it to them anyways.

And I'm just going to embrace this because when I'm 72, I'm going to look back. And I love that you said that because that is a season of men. now. Right? Okay. Because in hindsight, when I was 22, golly, 20 years ago, that was 30, that was 32. Oh, shoot. See, I didn't age. My math doesn't even want to age. It's just so true because I think, and obviously we've gone totally off topic, but I love this topic so much because I think that it's so common with women and especially these younger women, like I'm looking at these 25 and 30-year-old women with little kids. Like my friend Taylor yesterday, she's 29 years old.

She's got five kids. She looks like she's never had a kid. I don't know, but I don't like her. She's amazing. And I, and I, and, but she doesn't feel like she, you know, looks amazing. It's amazing. And I'm like, girl, you are going to wish you looked like you did now, right? Like you're going to 10 years from now, say, I wish,

I wish I was as fat then now as I was then. You're going to be like, wow. And I wish that I knew that story I made up in my head was a false narrative. And if we know that everything that goes through in our head is something, is every idea was a creative. Right? That's my thought. Every idea is a creative. So if you can imagine, you can actually create different ideas, different thoughts.

So if you can imagine differently and you can create differently, right? And you can design your thoughts. And you know that your thoughts dictate your behavior. 100%. Right. And then you have different behaviors. You start acting differently. You start making different choices. Now you have different outcomes. And I think too when I guess sometimes I wish I could see me through other people's eyes, right? Because I see you from my perspective, and every time I see you, I'm so excited to see you. You always have a big, huge smile on your face. You're always so warm and loving. You're beautiful in every possible way. And same thing for your husband.

Do you wonder sometimes? I know that my husband loves me beyond measure. Yes, he does. The way he looks at you is so endearing and touching. And one of my favorite things to do is look at your husband, looking at you. And why can't we see ourselves the way they see us, right? Or vice versa. Because God probably knew that if we did, I had to be this thing. We're tracing down the road in a bikini.

And rest is not appropriate. Why? He was like, God probably said, oh, she's really fabulous. We're going to just check that. I'm just kidding. And then we're overcorrected. So we're going to let the pendulum swing back the other way. Exactly. It's just so funny. And I guess that's what I would love when you asked about what would you ask Mel Robbins. I guess I would ask her. I would love to have that conversation with her. What did you think about yourself and your, because I know she's dealt with a lot of, she's been very open about mental health struggles and all that kind of stuff. She discovered she's ADD, which comes with and how that manifests in women. That's how she became so intuitive and the anxiety that comes with it. And, And it was a gift and a curse all in one.

So I love that how she shares that. I love her high five challenge. Yes. That's every just high five. And wouldn't that, if we just did that every day, maybe we would start seeing ourselves, like, just took that challenge, that 30 day challenge. My grandson just learned how to high five.

He's 14 months old. Like, hi-five. That's the best. And it feels so good. Funny thing, we don't need anybody else. We can just go in that bathroom mirror in the morning. and just high five ourselves every morning. That's perfect.

That's perfect. What would you ask Gary? Oh, Gary V. You know, what I love about Gary, one of the things that first attracted me to him and his, what he does on social media is I remember seeing him pretty early on. And I met him in probably 2000, must have been around 2014 or something, an inman conference in San Francisco, but I'd been watching him before that. And I remember, because he started out with a wine, like a wine blog, that's what he started out with. And what he talks about

so much is how what he did every single day. He talks about how he did thousands of shows before anybody knew who he was. And I love what he's most recently said is that, look, anything I have, everything I have, you can have it, you can do it, just follow what I do, and you'll become successful. Like, just do what I do. Copy it. Don't get creative. Just copycat it. But in the beginning, he literally just did his blog every day. And I think that it's such a valuable lesson for people to learn. But I'm just fascinated by him the way he's, thinks and what he does and how he has shown up in the world and where that simple blog just took him to where he is today, how much he's evolved and how, again, the thing I love about both

him and Mel, they're so transparent about their life. And Gary always had these huge dreams to own, I think the New York Jets. I'm not sure which I don't know anything about sports. So he wants to own a team. I remember. It was like, that's his everything. Yes. And just being that transparent and I think that the world is coming to a place where authenticity and transparency is becoming the number one priority and I love, love, love that. Yeah, I feel like the world is catching up for years when I was younger. They said, you need to be more professional. Like, Scott put on a little bit of a facade and I'm like, oh, the world's caught up to me. Yes. Which is why when I look at, And the AI and all of that.

People just want to know, is this real? Or is it like, yeah? And I think now even with social media, I look at the social media platforms. And again, we talked about how Facebook is for the old folks. And Instagram is owned by Facebook. So it's monitored so much more. And it's becoming a situation where every other post is a suggestion or an ad. You can't even see.

If I want to see your posts, I have to go look you up now and get you into my algorithm where I've actually been enjoying TikTok more because it feels like people are more real on there. They just are who they are. And that's what I really want to see. I think that everybody wants to see that anymore. I don't need to see the all glammed up scripted you. I want to see you and who you are and what you do and be more genuine. Here I am. I'm here. And you. And you You've always been there. So there you go. So we were talking a little bit before about, again, these transitions and where do you, when you say that, are you talking about physically moving somewhere or just going out and doing something different? Or do you even know?

All of it. So I don't know. So we've looked into, I was like, should we sell our house? And I'm like, but I love my backyard. And I was like, it's easy here. It's going to be in, and it's going to have a home base. And then I was like, we could have another home base. So it's just, we have the RV. And my husband always likes to remind me that once we go somewhere, I want to go somewhere else. You got to come through, you got to come through Tahoe. You got to come through my house. I want to come to your house. Yes, absolutely. I want to come to your house for years now. You're all the way on the West Coast, but that's actually all the things that I want to do. I want to go to, I want to take my daughter to BC. Now I want to go see my son in Portugal. There's so much I want to do. It's almost like I'll go with you to

Portugal. I'll go with you to Portugal because that's on my list. Yes. And it looks really cool. But this last year, this is, you know how life happens? Things just show up in your life. I have literally probably this last six, eight months. Can't even tell you how many people have talked about Portugal. They're going. They've been. They talk about how beautiful. They say it's like one of the most beautiful places in the world. I'd keep hearing about it. So I need to be going there for some reason. I think what Portugal did really is they had that golden visa program for a hot minute, which really got people talking and looking into Portugal. Now, I don't think they did that anymore.

They're doing that anymore just because there was like so many people took advantage of it. But it was such a good promotion for them. The other thing that I'm looking to do is build our real estate business again. And do it in a way that I feel is probably more sustainable. sustainable so it's not as hamster wheel like and more joy filled and leaning into our strengths and our joy and a lot of my I think my strength and my joy is systems and processes. I love systems and processes. I know that sounds so weird, but I love taking a system and a process and going and making

it better. How can I make this more efficient? How can I cut out one more step? how could I make this a little quicker, more efficient, quicker, more efficient? And then trying new things and just leaning into all the things that people say. We took a Facebook course and then I was like, oh, and then we did it. And then we're like, oh, I want to tell everybody how to do that. We took some branding courses.

And then I was like, oh, I want to show everybody how to do that. Like AI courses. Oh, I want to show everybody how we did that. And that's my joy is just to be able to share that with folks who want to know, especially those who, and there's so many people who want to know if they can't, I don't want to say can't afford, but they don't know how to get to the resources. I think sometimes it feels a little overwhelming, right? And you don't know which one or who is legitimate to follow with regards to that

because it seems like everybody's selling a product or something now. And, you know, I'm guilty. I bought, I can't even tell you how many, you know, products I bought. And then I never opened them and never sat down and went through the product. And I love systems too. I love to create them. I'm just not the follower. I'm not a good follower of them.

I follow it just long enough to figure out how maybe I can get it better. And then I give it to somebody else. And I'm like, hey, look, da-da-da-da. And then I let them, like, break it for me. me. When you talk about building your real estate business again, are you talking about actual personal production or building your organization to be bigger? Both. Yes and yes. About a year ago, we started going back and doing social media ads, right? And just designing them and tweaking them to getting what works and integrating that with our KV core. And because of what I know

this sounds weird, I found that a lot of people were saying, that's what you're, supposed to do, but nobody really knew how to do it. And if they said how to do it, they would tell you all of it except for that one little nugget. They're like, this is the bridge to get from here to here. And they'd live out the bridge. So without the bridge, you can't get there. They give you all this. They give you all this minus the bridge. Right. And I was like, that's, oh, right? And I'm the to the point now, I'm to the point now where I just want someone to do it for me. What can I'm trying to do this year have been more about saying no more than yes and getting things off my plate, right? Clearing the space because I feel like I'm moving in like you transitionally probably.

I feel like I'm moving into a new space and I feel like I need room. I need to clear. Then you can put something that you love and enjoy in it. It's like a decluttering. Sounds like you're decluttering. Yes. That sounds completely refreshing. I took three years of just not.

And I took those three years and I really focused on working with me and went to Tony Robbins events, joined the Brendan Breschard's Ultra program, started doing growth day every day, really focusing on me because I do have a sincere belief that like my potential is unlimited I have to unlock it so if I want to go from if I want to be let's say a marathonist can I most likely but who what do who do I need to become a marathonist is marathonist a word it is now it's okay that's all right we'll take it okay but you got you can't be the same person over here to become that marathonist over here.

Agreed. Right. So I was like, so a lot of it is discovering what I think I want to become. I feel like I'm growing up. I know I'm 52 years old, but it's like, what do I want to be when I grow up? I don't know. Let's see. Well, I'll tell you that the whole, you're not quite there, but you're going to be there before long. The whole emptiness thing is there needs to be a whole conversation and kind of movement around that because it's rough. I'm not going to lie. Those a couple of years, when my first son moved out, it was hard, but it was okay. When my baby moved out, it was a chit show. I was a hot mess. And because especially for women, and I don't know that men go through this as much as we do, but maybe they do. Our whole lives

are consumed with raising children, right? Making sure they've eaten. making sure their school stuff is handled, making sure that they've got clothes, making sure that they get to the doctors if they need to, like making sure that they're healthy. There are our identity. There are identity. Who are you? I'm a mom. 100%. And then all of a sudden they're gone.

And they're not gone. They're always in your life. But they're gone and they're on their own. And you're standing around looking at your husband. You're like, uh, and I need to either A, I got to figure that relationship out again because it's different now. right, different space. And I need to figure out what am I going to do with all that time? Because it's easy for you to just dive into work or dive into whatever and just bury it.

But it was, I didn't know a joke. It took me. And I still don't, I'm still a little, a little obsessive with my kids. They would probably say in trying to give them the space to go be adults. But I have to figure out, okay, what am I going to do? I don't know. what have you discovered in this process where you're like, okay, if I would have just rethought this initially, it might have been a little bit of a, I could have eased this

transition a little bit for me. If in hindsight, in hindsight, what maybe could you have thought differently? I guess I'm not quite totally sure how to answer that. So if I take it back to how I grew up, my mom, I was raised by a single mom, and I was very independent. Like, I figured a lot of stuff and just did my thing. And my mom was struggling to raise kids and work and do all the things. So she was not involved or as immersed in my upbringing. So, of course, I did the opposite, right? I was like, going to be the perfect mom, going to do everything perfect

and give my kids this perfect life. And I wish in hindsight that I had stepped back a bit more and given my kids a little more independence and a little bit more more freedom to figure things out. For myself, I feel like I was pretty independent a lot, but my life was consumed with my kids. And I'm not sure that was as healthy maybe as it should have been. But either way, they've turned their good young men and kind and respectful and all that. So maybe like for those of us who aren't there yet, maybe get. a hobby.

Get a lot of that. Exactly where I was going. My whole life was work and kids. And even my husband got pushed a little bit to the back of the bus because those things, I would joke it. So you can at least feed and clothe yourself. So he kind of got pushed to the back of the bus. And so I think that your relationship with your spouse needs to take a bit more priority.

And mine should have taken a bit more priority. I do believe that if you're getting. close to those kind of teenage years and the time when they're leaving is still continue to work on your relationship with your significant other and keep that front and center because when the kids are gone, it's you and him. Yeah. And you're either staring at each other looking at you like, I don't even know who you are anymore or type of thing and getting that.

And also having something that means something to you in your life like a hobby or like I love, I've been enjoying gardening, but I really enjoy cooking and doing canning things and dehydrating stuff and that kind of thing. But I wish I would have done more of that in my younger years that it would have consumed a little bit more of my time. But it is what I heard an advice from a wife and that she's something that she did with her husband. It's that Peterson's guy's wife. And they went to her heart. I don't remember. The point was she said that they had rituals that they had started very early in their relationship.

So one was that they'd have date night, no phones, no electronics, no anything, just the two of them. And they went through a really rough period and then where they were apart. But then when they came together, they were like, okay, now what? And they're like, let's go on a date. And they automatically fell into the ritual. And I was thinking, I was like, okay, what ritual can Juan and I have? And he's wonderful. He's just, like, my dad, the advice he gave me was Bettina. He's a good one. Be nice. Right? That's it. That was my marriage advice from my dad. He's a good one. Be nice. And so in the mornings, right, he'll come in and he'll fix coffee. He'll bring me a coffee. And we'll sit. And we'll sit. there and we'll chat until I get we do a huddle every morning 845 until I need to get on my huddle and it's so easy for me to have that reflex to go pick up my phone pick up my phone but when I

really quit that reflex right it'll go on forever the other thing that I want is we'll have a conversation we'll come across something that we need to know now and it used to drive me crazy and I was like but this really needs to get done you're like I'll do it in 30 I'm like, what if you forget? I just like, but I had to trust that this time with us together having that coffee, and I've come to really appreciate it. And I wish I could say that it was my doing, but I really believe that it was his doing and his intention of making that happen.

And first thing in the mornings are the best for me because I'm less distracted at that time. so that's been on. You're right. Your husband is such a great chill guy. He's just so you get around him and you just feel like you just relax. I know. And who I was visiting. I talked in conversation with somebody the other day and they were saying something like,

for the reason that you fell in love with them after you're married with them for a while, that's a reason. That's the thing that drives you most crazy about them. And I was like, I understand. Like my husband, I love. He's so chill. You know what drives me? me crazy sometimes.

But he's so chill. I wrote about that in my book. I wrote about that in my book. Yeah. It was talking too. That's right. And it really stuck with me. So it was comfortable.

Now I know, thank you for confirming that. So 100%. Well, as we wrap up today, we didn't really talk about anything about real estate. But I love this conversation so much because I feel like as women, we need to talk more about these things that are going, maybe I need to do a different podcast. I don't know, but. Thank you. Come on ours because ours is just, it's not real estate specific. It's very, the concept is that everybody goes on life's journey, they collect all these buckets. And some buckets are empty, some are getting filled, some are full, some are overflowing.

And what I noticed is we would host these masterminds. And I'd see people wanting to give from buckets that weren't overflowing. And what happens when they would do that, it would like decrease. And I was seeing also like moms and friends giving until they were empty. And then they were miserable. And I had to make a rule. And I was like, you're only allowed to get from overflowing buckets. That's the rule. If you don't have a bucket that's overflowing today, then take your bucket and go find somebody who's overflowing in that area and go fill up your bucket. And don't stop when it's full. Go until it's overflowing, right? And now you can give to others from that bucket. So if I'm not in my theory is that if we all do this, we'll all start having all these

buckets that are truly overflowing. So that's the theme of our podcast is just, who everybody has somewhere that they're overflowing from. Everybody. And just want to share where you're overflowing. And we can all learn from it. So that's amazing. You're amazing, my friend. And thank you so much for being on our show today.

I'm so excited. And I was thrilled to be on your show. So we'll definitely be talking about that in the show notes. So thank you again for joining us today. Thank you. I appreciate you. All right, everybody. you for joining us on Real Estate Real World where we get to talk to all the cool people,

real estate, and all the important stuff that is far beyond real estate. So I'm thrilled to have had Bettina on my show today. Be sure to go and follow us on all social media. Make sure you subscribe, push those buttons, and we love great reviews. So if you have a minute, please write us a quick review. It helps us push up there on the algorithm. So thank you, everybody. Go out and make it an amazing day.