KILL TONY - #475 - ERIK GRIFFIN

Episode Date: October 9, 2020

 Erik Griffin, David Lucas, William Montgomery, Michael Lehrer, Jessie Johnson, David Deery, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - 10/05/2020THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:PLUSH CARE – Start your FREE 30-day trial! Got to PLUSHCARE.COM/TONY to receive a free 30-day trial!

Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, DeathSquad.tv. There you have everything Kill Tony, including past episodes, video portions to the show, and you could also click on tour dates to see if we're touring anywhere. That's DeathSquad.tv. Tony has his own website, go to TonyHinchCliff.com. There you have everything Golden Pony, including his own tour dates and his merch. That's TonyHinchCliff.com. Ryan J. Ebelt, he's the house artist. He draws every episode and he sells prints of them or books. Go to RyanJEbelt.com and pick up some cool Kill Tony stuff. And last but not least, the official merchandise of the DeathSquad universe is ShopSquad.tv.

There you got some DeathSquad hats, shirts, and you also got some Kill Tony shirts left. That's at ShopSquad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Band, coming to you live from the road's famous comedy store main room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for TonyHinchCliff. Wow, how exciting is this? I'm here with a great Ryan Red Band. How are you, my friend? Good. Good. Exciting to be here. Good to be back home. Went on the road this weekend for the first time in forever and headlined

shows for the first time in four months. Four one hour long sets in beautiful Salt Lake City, Utah. Was it outside or was it inside? It's inside, socially distanced. Nobody getting sick. Everybody's healthy out there. You know, a lot of these places where a lot of these places where they are more perceived to be anti-mask, very free people, they don't have as many cases. It's wild out there. Because they're all healthy, they don't wear masks, and so they just stay healthy because there's nothing to catch. Also less people, spread out more. Well, yeah, of course. Yes, it's not Los Angeles or New York City. That is absolutely correct. You are right there.

Compare it to us would be absolutely criminal, but I'm excited to be home. I flew in on Sunday, and you want to know the first thing I did when I flew back home? I texted the great Ryan J. E. Bell. Oh, Ryan J. E. Bell here. There he is. There's Ryan J. E. Bell. Here it comes. Wait, let's do that one more time. It's Ryan J. E. Bell. There he is, everyone that didn't believe he was here. I came in, I texted Ryan. I said, we're going to have fun on Monday, and then you know the next thing I did? I called the Vitos Pizza, and I ordered a platter, a giant party platter of baked ziti, and I went and I played cornhole with some friends, and we ate baked ziti, and we laughed

all day long. I'm telling you, you get the party platter of baked ziti from Vitos, and you blow people's minds. It comes with a salad, garlic knots. You like garlic knots? Definitely, especially when you're playing cornhole. Exactly. Nothing more fun than garlic knots and cornhole. Some people might be wondering why baked ziti in 100 degree weather, and I'm telling you, there's no better time. I almost can't wait for it to get cold outside so that I can eat more ziti and be able to rationalize it. Vitos Pizza is the best. They keep us filled up every single Monday here. It's incredible. In fact, tonight joining us, if I can give a little shout out, the great Charlie's always here, but tonight Grace is here,

everybody. One of the sweetest souls, always there to greet you at beautiful Vitos Pizza on La Cienaga. I love it. Caveman coffee is a thing. Use the promo code KILLTONY and get 15% off delicious caveman coffee. I like the hibiscus tea. I just got a new pack from them the other day. I love it. Heck yeah. Life is good, but before we start tonight's extra special show, here's a little bit more from our sponsors. Hey, y'all. Now more than ever, you really shouldn't put off seeing a doctor when you're not feeling well. And I know that with everything going on, it can be difficult to put your health first. Seeing a doctor can be a real hassle, plus it's scary nowadays to go in there. There might be people in the waiting room coughing.

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winning season begins today, only at my bookie. Yippee-doo-da-day! Today's episode is brought to you by Sheath Underwear. I'm telling you, summer might be over, but there's forest fires and some other hot things out there. Sometimes I get too close to the camp fire and my balls start sweating. You might be walking around dealing with some hot balls right now. Perhaps you've even got ass sweat. Perhaps you're listening to this and thinking you should remove all your clothing and just let it freaking flap in the wind. You're sick of boxers that are too loose or briefs that are too tight and choking your nuggets. That's why I want to recommend what I wear, Sheath Underwear. It's the softest, most comfortable boxer brief I've ever worn.

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Few people in the room, extremely socially distance, extremely temperature checked here at the comedy store. They go through a rigorous process and so did tonight's guest. We have one of, what? No, someone's mad at temperature checks in the room. We're the guest. We have an amazing guest everybody. He is one of our favorite guests in the history of the show. One of the most utilized guests in the history of the show. A true brother from another mother, my friend, you know him from all of his hit shows, workaholics, Riffin with Griffin. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the great Eric Griffin, everybody. Here we go. Welcome Eric Griffin. Welcome back, sir. I'm excited to play with you tonight. Yeah. How you been? I'm great, man. I know. It's been a

long time. It's crazy, right? That's it. The only time I text you is when I want you to come do the show. I know. Never hello. How you doing? All right. I know you're good. You want to go to lunch? I know you're good. I know you're good. Even if you got the Rona, you have like 40 pounds that you could lose. You know what I mean? I'm down 25. Yeah. Really? Did you get it already? No, I just got the Rona. I'm just doing good. I love it, man. I'm happy for you. I'm excited. Shit immediately when I sit out. Nothing more fun than getting to see you and fist bump those hairy knuckles. Those things are. I miss your Adams cantaloupe. Hey, that's it. I'm excited that you're here, Eric. You've been on the show many a times. We've had so much fun

and we're going to have fun again. I'm sure that you were. What's going on in your life? Anything? Anything crazy going on? I love that you've been cooking on Instagram. Yeah, I'm cooking. Doing Griffin with Griffin. I'm engaged. Congratulations. I didn't get her a ring, but I got her a promise car. A promise car? Yeah. Oh my goodness. Because Rick is the kind of ring she wants. I'm like, this is not practical at this particular time. Right. We need a car. Let's do that. What kind of car? Is it a used car? No, it's a nice Buick. Nothing says I do more than a Buick La Sabre. Hey, it's an arm core GX, by the way. Whoa. That's the car she wanted. Don't get bad at me. I love it. I love it. That's what every that's what every guy wants in this

world is a woman that'll just settle for a Buick. Amen, brother. I got a good one. You know what I mean? Well, I'm sure that you remember from your numerous appearances on this show that there is a band here on this show on Kiltony. Every single episode they commit to being different characters. Jeremiah is out on this episode, but we have the rest of the best damn band in the land. Let's see who they are tonight. I'm excited about this one. Something in my guts telling me this is going to be an extra special one. Ladies and gentlemen, here they are, the Kiltony band Jetsky, Jesse Johnson, Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez and Chroma Chris. Here we go. Uh-oh. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is what coronavirus looks like in real life. Unbelievable. I heard that song. I thought this makes sense. Firemen this week. And then they come out and they are actual fire. Wow. That is exciting. There's smoke. There have been wildfires here in California all week. Ash falling from the sky. I mean, absolutely incredible times here in California. And I can't believe that we were able to book some actual fire on the show. How are you fire? Good. I'm actually wildfire. Oh, that's your name? Wildfire? Yeah, that's right. All right. Well, welcome to the show Wildfire. Good to see you. You've been busy lately, right? Yeah, I'm actually a big fan of comedy.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. I got a good Donald Trump impression. Oh, can we hear it? Yeah. You're fired. Hey. I love it. Hey. She's been here all week, right? I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. And then we have this little fire, fire patch over here. What's your name? Hey, guys, my name is Camp. Campfire. Hey, it's the fire. I really enjoy nature in the outdoors. You just feel in the breeze between my flames. You do. It's a whole fire family here tonight. Very excited about it. And then clearly back here, one of my favorite street fighter characters of all time. Yeah, I reuse the wig. All right. What's your name? The name's Forrest. Forrest. Last name, fire, I'm guessing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. AKA Diego Fuego. Wow. And where are you

coming in from tonight? Fucking everywhere, dude. Awesome. So we have the entire fire family. We have the great return of Eric Griffin, red band and his sound board, Ryan Jay. We're all stuffed up on pizza and, uh, and, uh, Sarah Tonin. So let's do it. Shall we start tonight's show? All right. Sounds great to me. No better way to start it with all these, uh, fire people up here than one of the, uh, one of the people that constantly sort of looks like fire. Um, this young man from beautiful Memphis, Tennessee has taken the show by storm. One of the longest standing regulars in the history of the show. One of my favorite all time silly joke writers and performers. I'm excited to see what he's got up his sleeve this week. A real true artist. Ladies and gentlemen,

it is the big red machine, William Montgomery. Oh boy. Here he is. A big fan, Eric. Nice to finally meet you. Yeah. You don't remember when we met earlier, right? All right. Here he goes. 60 seconds uninterrupted from William Montgomery. This is might be a little longer than 60 seconds. Uh, everybody always says don't mess with cockroaches. They're carry diseases, but who's ever gotten sick from cockroaches? Hey, you hear about Anthony? He has cancer. Shit from smoking. Nah. Cockroach touched his leg when he was chasing it around his bathroom. He has six months left to live. I'm not suggesting we keep them as pets, but let's not pretend there's some pharmaceutical, uh, company out there trying to find the cure for roach flu. I said that kind

of weird. Uh, we let dogs sleep in the bed with us, uh, while, while both of us are naked and yet a roach crawls around the kitchen cabinet and we contemplate starting a gender reveal fireworks party. Uh, you don't think the family dog rolled around in the same shit as the roach? There's a lot more. Um, dogs and roaches are practically the same. It's just dogs have better lobbyists. Uh, dogs have Sierra McLaughlin seeing in every commercial roaches have a spray. Uh, every roach commercial, should I finish up? Keep going. Absolutely. I'll listen to an hour on roaches. Uh, every roach commercial starts out the same. A fat cigar smoking roach plotting with his other fat roach friends about how they can ruin the value of your home. Then some white man in

a cape shows up with the most toxic chemical known to man and just ices the hell out of those degenerate moochers. Uh, meanwhile roaches are supposed to be the oldest insects known to man or some bullshit. Hell, that's probably made up too by the same people claiming that dogs can tell what humans have a horrible disease. I swear the day a dog walks up to me and says, sorry, buddy, you've got MS. I'm going to call bullshit because next he's going to blame it on a roach. Wow, there he goes. William Montgomery. Wow, look at that outside of the wheelhouse a bit sticking to one subject the entire time coming in with a guns ablaze and bit that can really kill with a cockroach fundraiser or something like that. Right. So let me, let me start off with this

question. Are you currently dealing with an infiltration of cockroaches? I am. Yes, I had a feeling. Yep. Um, so, uh, how many are we talking about? How many do you see on an average day? 200. Oh, Kido. Yeah, that's a serious. Oh, wow. One just crawled out of your sleeve. Oh, I'm just kidding. Hey, by the way, there's some shorts in the office for William. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah, the guy was pissed. Zach, can you go grab some shorts from the office? If that's true, we have to make it part of this, uh, this episode right now. We're going to debut William's new shorts. You've heard of the emperor's new clothes. This is William's new shorts tonight. I'm excited. Are you excited? I am. I hope they fit properly. That's my only problem. You are

oddly shaped. I know. And we have to figure out how to keep them on you. You have a belt on those things? Yep. It's the only way there's staying up. Oh my God. Yeah, this is broken. You can't even see your belt because your belly blocks the light. Lift up your shirt again. Oh, wow. Oh, my goodness. What a debacle. That belly button is big enough to do deep. That thing is, you just got back here in Vegas for a whole week. How was it? Yeah, you didn't even tell us about this Vegas trip. You're just like, I didn't. You got mad last time. So I thought I would keep it under wraps. Yeah, you really kept it a good secret posting it the second you got there on Instagram. That's great. I want to say you seem oddly sober. I am.

I know after the debacle at the podcast, it did get the most views we've had in a long time, which is positive, but yeah, it wasn't great. I wasn't sure if you were still with us. I heard about this. He had a little, oh man, he had a thing bigger than this for the vodka. I didn't know till the end and he just was a hot fucking mess. Wow. So to see you right now, I could feel some like the haze is off of you right now. Is there anything you want to say to Eric Griffin who showed up who probably drove all the way to Burbank to be part of your show and to support you? And then you went there. I apologize for sabotaging it. Wow. Wow. There you go. You accept his apology. Are you going to accept my apology? Oh, look at that. You think

you can just get off that easy? I do. Typical. Typical alcoholic thinks he can just apologize and wish it away. Yeah. Just because he doesn't remember what he did the night before doesn't mean we forgot. You're still on step two, buddy. So any highlights? Any highlights from this Vegas trip? I lost a thousand dollars. How much did you lose? A thousand. Wow. How much money did you have to your name before that? Like 1200. Wow. So you still have 200 left. Still got 200. How was the game? I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just want to know how's the gambling? Like, what is that like in Vegas right now? It's the same. They're taking. No, no, but I mean like at the tables. Like is there there's there's there's it between flexi glasses. Wow. Then a guy like

William shows up at your blackjack table and everybody gets up and moves to a different table. I know because the glass is all foggy and sweaty. It's just coughing everywhere. Did you lose that on like slots like the electronic slots? Yeah. Where did you lose the majority of roulette? Yeah. What are your numbers on roulette? What do you like to bet on? I would do red every time and even. Wow. That is the exact opposite of what I do. Oh my god. We got a lot of shorts. Is this real? Bring them in. Yeah. Come on. This is Zach Bogus. Bring it up here, Zach. Oh my god. Up here, Zach. Up here. Are those really all shorts? No way. You're fucking with us. It's just uncontaminated. Wow. You need to ask for $100 from everybody next time. Oh, well, yeah, the guy

from a man. I'll put in a good word for you. Let's uh, is this real? Let's start opening them up. Oh my god. It really says William Montgomery. This is hilarious. Wow. Are there swim trunks? What are those? Oh my goodness. Let's open up another one. That's for when he's fighting for the world championships. Exactly. Look at those. My goodness. This is very exciting, William. This guy, for those of you that don't know, maybe this is your first episode watching. Oh, look at this. Uh-oh. Did someone just escape from a French prison? Yeah. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. I love Lucy's swim shorts. Uh-oh. Look at this. Miami Metro sexual. Love it. Oh my goodness. This is very exciting. I feel his balls popping up. Red Band's so excited. He's

pushing the table back. He can't believe he gets to open. He's got another parody. Whoa. I feel like that. Brian bought those for William. You keep leveraging the table. No, you got it. Just don't use your foot to push off on the table. Okay. Here we go. Oh my goodness. More shorts for William. This is black and gray camouflage. That's from the David Lucas collection right there. Brothers in cursive. They have the same. Oh, look at that. Those are David's good shorts. Those are a pair of extra large Tony Hinchcliffe golf shorts right there. Very exciting. Oh, here we go. Whoa. Look at those. You know, these will be the only pair that he wears for six months for some reason. Uh-oh. Look at that. Damn. We have grandpa with coronavirus shorts there. Whoa. These

are classy. Oh my goodness. What are you going to do with those, William? Oh my God, whichever listener did this. You are an absolute fucking legend. Hey, look at this. You can wash your shorts. Wash your shorts. Wash your shorts. This is a very exciting, ladies and gentlemen, an entire container of tide. It has happened. Dreams have come true. William Montgomery's been wearing the same pair of shorts for what has it been? Years? Eight years probably. Eight years and now he has many pairs. Wow, this is a nice pair. Shorts and tide. It's like you just got out of rehab. Look at that. Charcoal black right there. Look at that. Black shorts matter. Oh, look at these ones. Those might be a little bit big on you. I'm warning you about that pair. Those look a

little thick that you might have to give those to your brother in cursive. Whoa. Oh, look at those. I like those. William Montgomery. Oh my God, somebody sent 25 pairs of shorts to the comedy store. This is exactly what I thought was going to happen. Hey, can we burn his old shorts? Oh, no, no, no shorts. Oh my God, William. What do you have to exactly zoom in on this? But that's how that gender reveal fire started from the waist to the head there. That looks great. William, what do you have to say to the person that sent you all these shorts? Just thank you so much. It seems like it's really going to help me out. Are you going to wear them? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll start tomorrow.

You know what? Why don't we start tonight? Why don't you go to the back and put on the blue ones with the sharks and dolphins or whatever that is and take those things off? I think you put one on in between each person. Should we do that? Should we do a little William fashion show? Okay. Perfect. There he goes. There he goes. The great William Montgomery, everybody. It's going to start putting on shorts. Yeah, go. All right. This might be an improvement. You ain't lying. You ain't lying. You should have heard the amount of relaxation we had before the show, not having to hear a saxophone being tuned. And you know what sucks is that the episode that said the short thing, the one after you asked if we had gotten any shorts. And so that

means more people are going to send tons of shorts. We might have this going on for a while. We're good. Tell Curtis it's because of Tony and then it'll be allowed magically. Anyway. So I pulled the name out of the bucket. We had a few signups tonight, obviously, in a controlled temperature-checked environment. And I pulled the name out. Your first comedian getting a 60-second uninterrupted set in with a fresh and clean sanitized microphone goes by the name of Steven Belkowski. Hey, it is Steven Belkowski. His name is Steven Belkowski. Here he is. It's Steven Belkowski. So quarantine's been kind of lonely. So I got a tender the other day. My bio is brief. I have Hulu and HBO. I'm looking for a lady with Netflix, Disney Plus,

and no gag reflex. I went on my first quarantine date with this girl. As soon as we get there, she's like, hey, I just figured I should give you a heads up. I'm a pescatarian. It's like, that's cool. I don't really believe in God, but I definitely don't judge. Dating even before quarantine, it's tough, though, because I feel like all women my age are just looking for a potential father figure, like someone to raise their kids. And I can't have any kids. When you're a parent, you've got to be able to answer questions on the fly, like, yes, no, yes, no. If your kid ever comes up to you and is like, daddy, have you ever free-based cocaine? You can't giggle and ask why. Do you have any? I wonder if horses enjoy ketamine as much as I do.

All right, Steven Belkowski. All right, why would horses enjoy ketamine? I don't get that one. You know, I mean, you just got to figure it's a lot of people say it's a horse tranquilizer. It's not. They use it on cats. They use it in like, you know, EMTs use it and shit in ambulances. It's a dissociative anesthetic, right? So I like to tell people it's an animal tranquilizer, you know, so. Right. Do you use it a lot? Not a lot, you know, but I tried not to. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold the fuck on. Not a lot. That sounds like. I do it like recreationally. There's a lot of people doing ketamine nowadays. Low amounts of ketamine. I think we know some people that have been doing it. It's great. They're using it for. Oh, you've been using it too? I haven't used it

late, but it was fun. How long ago was that? I can't say. Oh my goodness. Wow. But no, it's, you know, it lasts like 10, 15 minutes or something like that, but it's. They're using it for like depression therapy and so. Right? Yeah, absolutely. Have you ever suffered from depression? You know, I don't know. I feel like a lot of, especially like in my age group, but I don't like it. I'd never, I had a decent childhood, you know, like nothing traumatic ever really happened to me, but I constantly growing up, I, you know, was like, I feel like it would be a lot easier to just jump out the window than do my homework and stuff, you know. So I guess that's kind of what got me on like the drugs and comedy route a little bit. I was like, I don't want other

kids that age to have to, you know, experience those thoughts or feelings, you know. So you had to, you had to, what you consider a non traumatizing childhood. Your parents stayed together the whole time and everything. They're still married. I was never molested or beat. Yeah, they're still married. What does your dad do for work? So my parents are both retired Air Force colonels. Air Force colonels, they made you. Right. So you are a disappointment. I'm the psychedelic sheep of my family, but I'm also the youngest of six. So it's like, you know, they cashed out three times over before they were like, fuck it. How about your brothers and sisters? What fields did they get into? So the two oldest brothers both went Air Force. Wow. Everybody's in the Air Force

and you're just getting high all the time. Well, so it was like the older half was like, you know, Air Force and then like my sister got her master. She's now a guidance counselor and then Air Force again. And then the younger half is like, stay at home. She got a master's and then went to the Air Force. No, no, no, no. She was bad. Then she became like a counselor. She was initially selling like medical. Enough about her. Right. And then my brother, David, who's like right above me, he was like this close to becoming a priest and instead. Do they even get to you at Thanksgiving dinner? That's why I became comedy. Eric became comedy. That's why I started doing comedy. Like five minutes of undivided time. Let's go back for a second here. You said that your brother,

David, almost became a priest. Then what happened? He just decided to go straight pedophile. He was sad. He decided he wanted to have a family instead. He's like, fuck putting on this front. I'm just going to go straight for what I want. Yeah. No, he decided to have a family. I guess he figured getting to other people's kids would be too tough. Wow. What happened? He like leaned over to pick something up and smelled a pussy for the first time. He was like, you know what? How about a change of heart? Yeah. I almost became a priest, a savior, a servant of the Lord and savior. He was always like super religious. So he's always going to retreats. I think he just got to college. And then yeah, somebody just told him what pussy was like and he was like, what? Never mind. I got to

try it at least once. Yeah. Someone's like, pussy's better than Jesus, dude. And he's like, all right. Were your parents super strict though? Like make the bed with the flip the quarter on it, shit like that? Make your fucking bed, do 20 push-ups. Again, youngest of six. So by the time it got to me, it was like, make your bed. I was like, I don't want to do it. They were like, just make it. And then, oh man. Making the bed. Do people do that still? Yeah. Everyone else does it. I do it every single day and I leave an organized life. Yeah. It makes you feel good every day. Even I do it. I got to buy a new bed every day because it just flames up. Right. You're fire. You're fire. Mattresses are very flammable. Yeah, it's good. You really don't make your bed. I mean,

like I'll put like the blanket back on the bed. Jesus. But I'm like, unless people are coming over, I don't know. You have like a weird setup that you like eat dinner in your bed and shit. You have like clothes all over your room. You're like, walls are made out of shelves of clothes that you never wear. Yeah. I have more t-shirts than Don Barris for some reason. My t-shirt collection's out of control for sure. It's very bizarre. It's time to take a trip to Goodwill. It's already been done three times this year. Wow. Where do you keep getting these shirts from? People send me shirts and then I make shirts. You know, I'm constantly buying shirts. It sucks. You have the same problem with shirts that William Montgomery has with shorts right now.

Should we check in? See, get a walk through by William? William, come on out. Come on out here. Here he comes. William Montgomery. Wow. Come on up here. Take it. Come on. Get him with that one. There you go. Let's get a nice little shot. Zoom on in there. Oh, yes. Unbelievably beautiful. Here, move up on the camera a little bit. Let's keep facing that. Oh, wow. Those are sexy, man. That's beautiful. Absolutely stunning. All right. There he goes. William Montgomery, everybody. Keep playing, man. Keep playing. Put on another pair of shorts, William. I could call you back out at any point here. Yeah, I like this. We should do this every week. Absolutely. Please keep sending

shorts to William Montgomery at Care of the Comedy Store, 8433 West Sunset Boulevard, West Hollywood, California. Let's wait till next week. All right. All right. All right. Okay. So, Stephen, what is something traumatizing that happened in your life? It wasn't during your childhood, was it? It was years after high school. Let's talk about it. DMT, dude. Holy shit. What happened? Well, the first time that I hit it was after a comedy show. I figured it was going to be super fun. By that point, I had done a lot of different. Actually, now, if I can replace this one with another one, the first time I did acid was the day Robin Williams killed himself. That shook me. Wow. Yeah. What happened first? Did he kill himself and then you did acid or you

did acid and then he killed himself? So, I took acid that morning and then everything was going cool. We're hanging out at this river. Yeah, absolutely. Taking a little still daylight out, you know? But anyway, so we're hanging out at the river and then these storm clouds move in and everybody's like, all right, we got to get away from the river. I'm an hour away from my house at this point and my ex-girlfriend, who we were dating at the time, she had done acid like three times. She was the one that got it for us, you know? And at that point, I didn't realize she hadn't done it so many, but she was like, yeah, let's just drive home, you know? And I was like, all right, whatever, I trust you. We get in the car and we're like 40 minutes down this trip.

She's like, I feel like the car isn't even moving right now and I start freaking out because we're going like 80 miles an hour down the freeway and I was like, oh my god, we're going to fucking die. We hadn't been playing any music the entire time. We finally get off the interstate. I'm about to get back to my house and I was like, let's just turn on some radio and chill the fuck out. I turn on the radio. No music plays at all. I just hear the DJ's voice saying, ladies and gentlemen, I'm very sorry to announce, we just received word actor and comedian Robin Williams has been found dead due to an apparent suicide and is such and such home. And then I just get hit with this whole like, oh my fucking god, why would he kill himself? I just started comedy like five months

prior and I was like, is this something that happens to all comics? Like he had been killing it? That's like what I want to do and all this shit. And then I got hit with my first, like what I call like Truman moment where I felt like the world is a TV show watching me. Robin Williams was tuned in and saw I did drugs and he was like, I did Aladdin. I did Ms. Doubtfire. I couldn't keep these kids off the drugs. Fuck it. And then off themselves. Wow. Jesus. What lasted longer? The trip or that story? That story. You know, I imagine it is like his dad. Because what does your dad do? He's like a general or what retired colonel retired. See, he wanted he was going to be a general or whatever. But then there was like a board meeting, you know, and then they said they

showed like a video like this. This is your son. Can you explain this? The long hair happened after he got out actually. But my dad's like, he's kind of your parents love you though, I'm sure, right? I did. Oh, yeah. Well, after they found out that I did drugs, like for a while, they were kind of like, I don't know if he's like, because when you look like me, you're either like addicted to drugs or youth pastor. So they were leaning towards more the youth pastor thing for a while. Right. And then they found a podcast I did called Virginians for Druggies. And I think your whole family's jealous. Yeah, this is what they really want. That's true. Absolutely. Well, Stephen, it was fun to meet you. Yeah, I appreciate it. And fun stories, man. I'll that we'll see you soon.

There goes Stephen Balkowski. There he goes. There goes Stephen Balkowski. Should we check in on William real quick? There goes Stephen Balkowski. Should we get another walkthrough from William Montgomery? Yeah, the crowd goes absolutely mild, incredible. Let's wait. So let's wait until we hit a lull in this show. Let's see what happens here. This way, this way we're safe anytime. We don't want to waste all of our good Williams right now. We have 20. We don't want to burn through all the good moments. Well, we're not going to get through all the shorts tonight. That's for sure. Ladies and gentlemen, your next comedian has has been leaving quite the imprint on this show as of late. We found out a lot about his wild relationship and we've been following up with him.

He's back here tonight. Very, very funny comedian gaining immense popularity here on Kill Tony. Here is the return of Ryan Joseph, everybody. Here we go. I just ran into this girl I used to mess around with a couple of years ago. I can't believe how much he had aged. She even has breasts now. I protest that Black Lives Matter rallies, but it gets so hot walking a mile on a white bedsheet. COVID has changed the way I think about diseases and viruses. Like, my best friend's got AIDS and now I don't even think it's funny. I used to think homeless people screaming out of nowhere were crazy, but what if they just don't like having sex with me? I don't like to date Asian girls because they think it's only because I have a fetish. So I always have to say, babe, I've been

with lots of different types of girls and they get peed on too. There you go, Ryan Joseph. Beautiful. Another minute. Bye, Ryan Joseph. Hi, Ryan. How's life been? It's been amazing, Tony. How are you? Good, good, man. Good. So tell us about it. Keep us posted here. Why is it amazing? No, I'm fine. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's a little downgrade for you. This is your first time seeing Ryan Joseph. Some jokes. Nice to meet you, Eric. You too. I like it, especially in this environment. Just stay with it like that. I like it a lot. Yeah, I was just dating this girl who fucked around on me and I caught her. I'm just taking it easy now, man. Give us a real update. What do you mean you're taking it easy? Well, I banged up. I did the

right thing. I banged my ex. Hey, that's the advice that I gave. That's good. And then I told her right away. Oh, that's great. And then you guys had the best sex you've ever had. Yeah. We were even then. That's great. Yeah, I feel like a man again. Was the sex with your ex good or it wasn't right? It never, it never is. No, I had a purpose. I was crazy because I was like thinking about the girl that fucked me over. Right. It was, you couldn't, you could barely even come, right? You fake came. Did you fake an orgasm with her? Yeah, always fake an orgasm. Really? Is that true? Oh, we just carry lotion with you. Like, what do you do? No, you go to GetRoman.com and use the promo code Tony. Mycom is flammable. Yeah. Did you feel guilty when

you're having sex with her? Is that the problem? Like you felt like you were cheating on her? No, I felt, well, yeah, like when I'm walking into the bedroom, she was calling me. Oh, yeah, that's always looked at the phone, but I was like, fuck that bitch, you know, she, she did this. It's her fault. I'm going to bang this girl should have FaceTime answered that. Well, one time she FaceTimed me because then I told her, right? And she freaks out and then she's like talking to me saying, are you, because she's been freaking out saying, are you going to see her again? Are you going to see her again? And one time we're FaceTiming and my ex who's upset, who now confesses like her undying love for me knocks on the door, right? Your physical door? Yeah. So I have the one on

FaceTime screaming. So she's a psychopath. Yeah, but she's Dominican. She's beautiful. I love her. Lovely. And that's your ex or the new one? The new one. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Those Dominicans are wild. This could easily end in a murder suicide. Yeah. But I'm with you about like somebody just coming to your door and knocking on your door. She was unacceptable. What is this in 1987? Yeah. Well, I blocked her. I blocked her and you blocked her with a with a fence. What do you mean? Is she's at your door? How do you block someone? I blocked her phone number in her email. Oh, and then she knocked on the door. Yeah. That's the catch with blocking people. It's the next thing you know, they're like rasping at your window and shit. Yeah. I know your

address. And then I let her... I know you fucking block me, Ryan. Yeah. It's me. It's me, Dominican girl. No, no, no. That's the, this is the ex. Oh, what's she? She is white? Just white girl. Ryan, it's me, your white ex. I know. Boring. Yeah. I don't like, yeah. I don't like white girls. Right. Hold on. So the white ex is the one who fucked you over or she's the one you fucked to get back at the Dominican? Yeah. Right. I'm all caught up now. This is like 90 day fiance. So basically... Yeah, no, it's great. The story is to her like we went exclusive and she wasn't really ready and she was kind of freaking out and she was kind of casually seeing this other guy at the same time. So a week after we were exclusive, she hooked up with him, realized it was a bad idea and but still continued to talk

to him and hang out with him as a friend because they were just fuck buddies anyway. So it's easy to be a friend. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, even though I don't trust her. I told her, I was like, let's just hang out. We'll see what happens. I'm just like tired of freaking out. Hold on a second. Here we go. So you already knew she was fucking somebody else? No. Well, no, he didn't know. You see? No, no, no, wait, because he said he knew she was casually seeing this other guy. But now he knows she was casually seeing him. Originally, they were having a conversation and he's like, you should block your, you should block your ex via text and she's like, okay. And then he's like, you should block him on Instagram too. And she's like, no, I don't want

to do that. Then I knew. And then this was the first time, that was the first time we met him, was like a month and a half or so ago after that happened and we've been getting updates. Okay. So this is after the fact you found that she was casually seeing both of you. Well, then if I may for a moment here, check this out. So check this shit out. This fucking guy goes goddamn undercover brother over here and pretend he finds out that this guy is a copywriter and he creates a fake account or something like that or no, his own account and he says, hey, you know, I'm a guy. I wrote a book. I'm looking to get a copy written. This guy lives in Oregon or something like that. He goes, Hey, I'm just some guy that wrote a book. I'm looking to get a

copyright. Do you think you can do something like that for me? And the guy's like, yeah, sure. I'll copyright your shit. Of course a copywriter during a pandemic. He's like, how am I getting this work out of nowhere? Exactly. And then Ryan here, after they start conversing goes, Oh, by the way, I saw that we're mutual friends with the same girl. And the guy's like, yeah, he falls right into the trap. I'm going to get to copyright those guys. This is fucking amazing. And then the guy's like, yeah, no, yeah, we're super close. And he's like, yeah, that's crazy. I'm close with her too. When's the last time you saw her out of curiosity? And the copywriter's basically like, I was fucking that bitch two weeks ago. And Ryan's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then, and then, and then he

immediately does a guy go, can I get my advance for the pretty much pretty much. It was fucking humiliating. Yes, you got copy wrong. This is what happened. Yeah. Then I screenshoted that shit and sent it to her, said it was fucking over. He didn't even let he immediately, by the way, this fucking, this fucking maniac over here immediately messages her like funny, but the other guy still in mid story, right? Fuck her in the ass. And we were like, it's just burning. We're sorry. The message wasn't even fully downloaded. And this guy's already hitting up his Dominican girl like, what'd you do? Yeah. So now where are we this week? You fucked your ex just every time I've tried to block her and cut it off. She just calls all the time Dominican. Yeah. And I

still fucking like, I care about her. And I'm just like, well, she's not going to let me break up with her. She's probably broke up with her. No, lost the job. Well, here's here's the it's a fucked up thing. Like, they were like, just like they saw each other once a month or something like that. She was still seeing him. And then she was dating me at the same time. We weren't exclusive, right? So she and I go to Arizona. She lets me she hints that she wants to be have the girlfriend boyfriend talk. We have it. But she's like, I just want to be honest. She waited until you, you went to Arizona and she was here. No, she and I both went there. Oh, okay. This is why it's so fucked up because it's like she hinted she wanted to have the exclusive talk. We have it. But she's

like, I just want to be honest. There has been another guy I've been casually seeing and I don't want to see him anymore. And I thought it was so cool. And then she went home and fucked him. You know what? This reminds me no better time than now to see William Montgomery in new shorts. Here we go. Here he comes. Here he comes. Here's William Montgomery. Wow. There he is. Notice how the shorts look at this, everybody. It is absolutely incredible. A beautiful pair of shorts. These compliment your belly. I like these. It really is good. It camouflages in everything. It's incredible. Yes, Joel. Master P just called. He said there are some limits. Oh, there you go. Nicely done. In extremely topical master. Your dick is hidden

anyway. So this kind of works. This is my favorite one so far. That's absolutely beautiful. There he goes. William Montgomery with the new pair of shorts. Those are our keeper. Beautiful man. It's a beautiful man. All right. Back to Ryan Joseph here. So Ryan, what's our plan now? Go ahead. Keep us posted. I told her, like, yeah, I don't trust you at all. We can hang out and I'll see. Whatever happens. I just don't even care anymore. I'm just like, yeah, we'll hang out sometimes. All right. So you didn't know. You're mad that she was seeing this guy and you at the same time. Is that the problem? No, no. I accepted that because we were casual. You know? Why be mad if you knew she was seeing another guy? No, that's not what I'm... Why be mad that she wants to

fuck him one last time? Well, that's what she says. It was like she actually told me this shit. It was a goodbye fuck. Get over it. Okay. Then she kept talking to him. And then I said, fuck you. Get out of my house. Then I went to bang my ex and then told her right away. Wow. Damn. And then now cut to the Dominican calling his ex. What does your ex do? Right. She's a copywriter. Let me ask you this. Do you think your ex is going to be attached at all now? Well, then I had her come in crying saying she realized that, you know, I'm the one for her and she loved me. And then she tells me when she was leaving, there was a guy she was talking to and she did it. I was like, is this the theme? Every girl has to get a dick in them. And then

they realized they love Ryan. Yeah, but here's the crazy part, though. Your ex finally wants to be with you. And when you were having sex with her, you weren't even really present. That's why she likes me, probably. Yeah. That's something to think about. Well, I'm looking forward to more updates in the future. Another fun 60 seconds from Ryan Joseph. There he goes. Ryan Joseph. Hey, your show is on fire. And with that, it's time for another regular as the mic gets sanitized here at the beautiful comedy store on the sunset strip where the parking lot is open and filled with happy audience goers watching the stream outside and on to the next one. We go this young man, one of the great joke writers in the world, one of the great roasters. Ladies and gentlemen,

here he is. Super regular, awesome comedian David Lucas. Yeah, man, don't give a fuck about lingerie. We don't. As long as you end up naked, that's all we care about. Like lingerie to a man is like wrapping paper on a toy to a kid. Like hurry up and take this shit off so I can play with this toy. You could have wrapped this shit in newspaper. The same result would have happened, bitch. Like, don't give a fuck what you put on your naked body, come to bed in a t shirt. I'm still fucking white people say they germaphobes and the whole time the cat be chilling on the counter while they cooking. Like, bitch, this nigga just helped you open the refrigerator. I'm not eating that food. I just saw that nigga crack an egg. Why

you think I want to eat your casserole? Like, get the fuck out of here. White people really can't have no spicy food. That's how I get my payback on my white friends for all that racist shit y'all did. I just burn y'all up with spices. You might come to my house and I bake a fucking spicy birthday cake. Nigga, I'm gonna get your ass one way or the other. There you go, David Lucas. David Lucas. I love it. I absolutely love it. I love this week's set so much. I could not. This is one of those, you know, this is one of those moments where you hear a comedian tell a joke. And this is usually usually this happens if I'm ever in the back of the room about to go on after like a Bill Burr or a ship hell or like one of the greats where you hear a bit where

you're like, wow, I think that all the time and I haven't heard anyone really talk about it. That lingerie thing is just not only, not only do I agree with you on that, but I would venture to easily say that a t-shirt or fucking like mesh shorts or like almost anything is sexier than lingerie because lingerie gives off the feeling that they're trying hard and you're supposed to be like, oh, God, you're so beautiful that lingerie almost want to leave it on. Like it's so beautiful, but it's like, what the fuck? And on the contrary, again, just a plain t-shirt with like a butt cheek hanging up. That's the hottest shit in the world. Bitch, put on one of my tank tops. And lingerie keeps everything all tight. Like any bra or anything, that's fucking that's

done. That's like showing up. That's like knocking on a person's door. And how about when they want you to pick it out? Oh, God, how about clear is clear? My favorite lingerie is titty. I got something to admit, though. When I was in high school, I thought that's what women wanted was like sexy lingerie. So when I was a junior in high school, I went to Victoria's Secrets. I got the most hoochie hooch, like the straps, the garter belt and everything. And I didn't know she was going to open it up in front of her parents or just pulling it out. It's got like crotchless panties and everything like that. That's hilarious. Red Band thought lingerie was a pasta dish. lingerie alfredo. It's kind of like it's kind of like how women think of shoes also like we don't

give a fuck about shoes. Most guys don't give a fuck. Red Band, that story is so white white men don't give a fuck about shoes. Black men give a fuck about shoes. I ain't fucking no bitch with no dirty shoes. Oh, yeah. Dirty dirty shoes is unacceptable. Like Red Band like girls that don't wear shoes Asians. Red Band likes girls whose last name is shoe. Yeah, shoe. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. That's my comedic daddy next to you, man. Eric Griffin. David Lucas has a lot of respect for the great Eric Griffin. He took me out of the country. That's my dad. That's right. He took him to what? Hamilton Canada, right? Yeah, which was crazy. Yeah, I love it up there. I had a crazy experience of it. He had some interesting fans. Yeah. That was right before the

pandemic. Very fat women. Wait, I do? He does. Oh, he does. Oh, yeah. Who would have guessed that? Hi, David. Me. I want some of that Spice of Birthday cake he was joking about. No, you know how they send shorts. They bring the cake for him. I made you a Spice of Birthday cake. I brought you banana pudding. All right. No, yeah, we had great times. We went to Atlanta. Yeah. A lot of my friends came to our Atlanta show. They were. Yeah. I mean, here's mom. Did I meet your mom? Yeah, that's my mom. Mom is cool. David Lucas, everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Eric Griffin and Tony Hinchcliffe are probably the two best people you can be on the road with that will actually give you real advice. Like I've been on the road with, you know, like

the people you see that might be a little more famous and they don't actually help you. These guys actually they don't want you to get better. A lot of these fucking people, a lot of them are scared to death that you're going to take their goddamn job. Both of these guys tell you to tear it up. The best, you know, and I'm not talking about myself, but I will talk about Eric and, of course, like, you know, Joe Rogan. The best comedians want you to fucking get better and have no fear and it fills you with confidence and makes you love the art for more, which in turn makes you work harder and write harder and perform more and it gives back. But speaking of writing jokes and always getting better, why don't we check in with your co-host

brothers in person? Here's William Montgomery, everybody. Some new shorts. Here he comes. There's some more shorts with William Montgomery. Whoa, these are a winner. Oh, my goodness. Wow. There he is. The fattest man in Auschwitz, everybody. William Montgomery. Oh, my God. Beetlejuice made from Auschwitz to Auschwitz. Tony, I didn't know why is he eating so good? Tony, I didn't know Footlocker had a swim team. There he is. You look like Beetle. I haven't drank juice in years. Oh, my goodness gracious. This is just when they get a swimming pool in the prison yard, everybody. You look like you need a zebra. Oh, my goodness gracious.

You're doing some work back there, huh? Wow, the swim shank redemption over here, the idea. No swimming shorts carry with handcuffs. Are those swimming shorts or those actually shorts that just look like swimming shorts? What? Are they swim shorts? Can you confirm by the feeling? Put your hands in the pockets. Face the camera and put your hands in the, that camera over there, William. Yeah, over there. Is it mesh? There you go. Oh, brother's in cursive. Where are thou? Say that again, Chroma, just in case people missed it. Oh, brother's in cursive. Where are thou? There you go. All right. There he goes, William Montgomery, everybody.

I'm all for the camouflage. You know, I'm a camouflage guy. But now those are those are the official shorts of brothers in cursive, half black, half white. Yeah, true shit. And red inside. Checkered past. What kind of shirt is that, Tony? This is a golf shirt, but I got it. I got it at Booty Holes R Us. No, it looks like back in the day when the TV used to go off. No, I like it. That's exactly why I got it. I was bending over watching a TV that went out and dildos were falling out of my asshole. And I'm like, Hey, I should get a shirt. All right, David, so much fun. Again, brilliant, brilliant, brilliant material this week. I think you already got a tag there. And my favorite is titties. Absolutely. There he goes. David Lucas, everybody.

There goes David Lucas. Back to the bucket. We go. You've been playing some video games, right? Yeah. He's going in gaming. Check that out. Eric Griffin gaming every single day. You ever played Madden? I'm not into that. He's into headshots. Oh, look at that. All right. This is a this is a new name, new sign up. Ladies and gentlemen, Kevin Houston is next on Kill Tony. Here comes Kevin Houston. Here comes Kevin Houston. It's Kevin Houston. So just shy of a score this past 9 11. Wow. I didn't do much because, you know, I forgot. That first one though was just plain crazy. But I heard the new Patriots day reboot is going to be fire next year. Sorry, quick disclaimer. I officially have a nub for a pinky finger.

So this is a public notice that all of my past previous pinky promises are going to be here in Nolan Void. Okay. Now, despite my mini setbacks, I'm a goal oriented guy. I mean, just this morning, I typed in pornhub from the home row. Listen, that website alone has undoubtedly made me a better speller. But with dyslexia, try to imagine staying hard while sounding out futonarias, futonarias, futonari, you get it. That's a hooked on phonics in for me. See how quickly you can retain amateur penetration, calypigian, get hooked on pornhub, where spelling comes fast, available now with Mabus peeping. This is not intended for help with pornhub. If it's a poor problem, please help 88 Colbert band. Wow. My goodness, feels like it's been forever in

which somebody's been absolutely horrible on this show. Really? That was that bad? Oh, yeah. Although, although congratulations on just learning how to read. That was. Yeah. Thank you. I brought you a gift. The woman that said to the man. Hello. Yeah, you couldn't remember a minute. No, I didn't. I had it, but I just got. Are you a comic or an actor? What's going on here? No, I just work in film. Yeah, but I just, I didn't want to, you know, blow it in front of everybody. So why you blew it anyway? I know you had it on paper. It helped you blow it. It felt like you literally had ad read energies during your it was kind of a half ad. So I guess that's what I was kind of going for. But yeah, I guess I blew it should feel like you're like talking

about something. You really felt like it was a read a read. I hear you. My goodness. First time doing stand up comedy ever and no, but here. Yes. Okay. Where have you done stand up a couple places in Chicago? Not any open mics, but nothing's you crazy Chicago. That's where I'm from. Yeah, I just I know it's tough that there's no open mics and it's been like, dude, it's been so long, man. I just I'm still I'm still here with my dog, you know, even still you got to make an effort to like, instead of doing an impression of a stand up comedian. You know what I mean? And that's for everybody. You know, don't do an impression of a stand up comedian attempt to actually do it. So it's fine to have the notes because we haven't been able to do it, but you were fucking reading

the notes like you were reading. It really felt like you were. Yeah. Yeah. There was a part where you said you guys get it and we're like, no, we have no idea what you were talking about. Sure. Like you needed to pass that paper around so we could be like, oh, okay. Interior comedy store 2020. A dark light comes upon the interior main room evening. They smoke filled the room. A largely fat man with weird shorts comes out. Okay. So Kevin Houston. Yes, we have a problem. So tell us something. Tell us something that's actually you like about you, Kevin. So you're originally from Chicago. When did you move to Los Angeles? Three months ago. Three months ago.

No better time to move to LA than right now. How's that been for you? It's good. I came on here to work for Kevin Smith and then sweet on to my own stuff out here, but you want to pick up that name. He just dropped. Yeah, he moved. He moved on from Kevin Smith already during a pandemic or like enough. Well, he went to New Jersey. I wasn't going to Jersey. Oh, okay. That's cool. He moved there. No, he's doing a pop up called movies. I did the one in Las Vegas. Kevin's great. He was on the show in January. We had a bunch of fun. So what what have you been doing for fun in these three months? Tell us about you. What are you? You're 34 years old, 31 30 months. How old are you? We're about the same age. I thought we were about the same age though. No,

we're not. I'm 36 and I'm younger than you. No, damn. Just to remind you, I look younger than you. But go ahead. Tell us what you've been doing for fun. No, I just I just moved here. I wanted to I work in film back in Chicago and so I thought I came in here to say, you know, I like the weather out here better than Chicago and Chicago. Really? You like the weather here better than Chicago? Really? You mean 50 mile an hour cold, gusty, hateful, negative winds blasting you in the face compared to absolute daily sunshine? Well, now it's zero humidity. Before it was great. Well, yes, of course, the state is currently on fire. But even then, even then, a state can only be on fire for two weeks max. Well, that's what you think. It only

takes two weeks to burn a state down is what we're learning. In fact, my neighbor and I were admiring the sun earlier. We couldn't believe it. We could see the sun. Thank you. Wow. It was popping through. Thank you. You guys did a great job. I remember when my ancestors burnt down Chicago as well. Hey, that's right. The great Chicago fire. I actually I just came here. I wanted to give you this real quick. It's okay. You could just sit at the manifesto. No, I don't trust it. Nope. Let me burn it. You got to trust my instincts on this one. We're not opening that right now. All right. Well, really, I'm a drummer really. So I just really came to challenge for the Mexican. Is that what that says? That's kind of the same thing. Yeah, really? I wouldn't open

that. You should open it. You're gonna like it. Anthrax Jesus. Yeah, see, it's a nothing burger. It doesn't make any sense. Don't don't even show it. Don't even don't even give it any credit. Anybody who reads a 60 second set like that, of course, his gift is going to suck too brutal. So how long have you been playing drums for? Like 10 years? 10 years? Wow. Interesting. And you play in any bands or anything like that? I had a few bands back in Chicago, but nothing out here. Oh, yeah. What's any of your favorite band in Chicago? My favorite band? Is it Chicago? No. Okay. The deep dishes. Is that a band? You say Zatarans? I'm hungry. No. So are you better at drums than everything else that you do? Really? Yeah. I mean,

I just wanted to try stand up. I've been doing, you know, I do comedy and stuff back at home and, you know, this is like a big platform. So it is. Yeah, it is. He's like, I have, I have my sheep music right here. I'm ready to go. Do you regret this at all? Yes. 100%. I'm just glad I didn't tell anybody. Let me tell you something. Look at your face. Like, why did I put myself through this? Let me tell you something. Of course, we can look at this as, oh, they're being mean, all this and that, but here's the light at the end of the tunnel. You do not get a Mexican drum off. You do not, you know, get to redo that set again. There's no, I, but here's the catch. Here's the good news. All right, Kevin, you come back sometime. You write it different.

60 seconds that you're not reading. You can memorize 60 seconds. I believe in you. You don't even have to memorize all the words. You just memorize the premise and a couple punchlines, and then it's over and done. And don't even over memorize it. Just fucking do anything other than what you did here tonight. And if you do good next time you come back, let's set it for, we'll say, three weeks from now. Okay, something like that. And if you do good and you're 60 seconds, if you get a single fucking decent laugh, you're going to be up for a Mexican drum off. How's that for a deal? Sounds great. There you go. We're moving on. There he goes. You know, and another thing, like when you first start off in comedy, I think a lot of people

like write out what their, their act is, and they try to memorize it like as if it's a story instead of actually make you feel the jokes and stuff. She's furious. No, no, no, no, I like it. I like it. I like, I like doing it during an interview. I like, it makes more sense that way. Let's get another comedian up here. We have a new sanitized mic. I'm excited about this one. This is a new name. Ladies and gentlemen, here she comes. It's a Merritt Landsteiner, everyone. Here we go. Here is 60 seconds from Merritt Landsteiner. I grew up in Minnesota and my parents met in a pretty unique way. They met at a wedding where my mom's older sister married my dad's older brother. Yeah, kind of weird. Only thing that pisses me off about it is when people are like,

yeah, my family's really close. I'm like, yeah, but just your family. Yeah. I'm single and my dog sleeps in my bed sometimes. So I do tend to masturbate from time to time in front of my dog. But I want to make it very clear that I do not fuck my dog. Do not fuck my dog. However, when she yawns, I do say, girl, what'd that mouth do? Yeah, she stopped eating the crotch of my underwear and I'm worried we've lost our spark. I grew up Catholic and everybody growing up said, heaven's going to be so great. Heaven's going to be so great. But I've also heard that about several okay parties feels like I'm going to get to heaven and they're going to be like, don't worry, more people are coming. Okay, that's it.

Thanks. There you go. Yes, you got me with that one. I love it. What a refreshing. That's like a piece of delicious ginger after you down some nasty sushi. Merritt Landsteiner coming in and cleaning up kind of reminds me of Kim Congden a little, you know, her attitude and her fun energies. I'll tell you, I'll tell you this too. You projected well into the microphone, a real, real night and day difference from the last comedian reading off a piece of paper. You came up, you performed, you enjoyed yourself. It looked like you were having fun. You spoke well into the microphone. First time doing stand up since March. Wow, because everything got shut down. So yeah, thank you. Well, actually, I did one set on acids. That doesn't count. Look at that. Indeed.

How did that go? It was fun, but it was very chaotic. I was just riffing the whole time, like screaming at the audience. Sounds like fun. How long have you been doing stand up comedy? Like, I guess over five years. Wow, we're at Chicago. Wow, what a difference. My goodness, that's like, this is like trying out Chicago pizzas. The first comedian was thin crust and that was deep dish. Yeah, it's like, oh, this is what they're good at. All right. Yeah. And then I just hit a year in LA. So I did it in LA for a little bit, but then the pandemic happened. So wow, I'm still new to LA. My goodness. Well, welcome. You're an immediate start. Oh, that was Kevin Houston. He just shot himself in the head. All these things. Poor Kevin Houston.

Rest in peace. I guess he's not going to get to that Mexican drum off after all. Jesus. All he had to do was write a new minute, come back in a few weeks. He's got his whole drum set in his car too. He was going to. My goodness. He was ready. It was a whole thing. Samarit, when did you move to LA? I just said a year. Okay. Well, you just said to say a year again and everything would have been fine. Now I don't like you anymore. Oh, well, you can't handle a tiny bit of attitude. The King of Attitude. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Relax. It's okay. It's all good. The King of Attitude. All right, everybody. We're moving forward every time. His Majesty. Yes, me. The old King of Attitude. Tony Hinchcliffe. That's what they call him. Yeah. The crown duke of shit talk.

Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. All right. Samarit Landsteiner, what do you do for a living? How do you make money? I work in sales at a precious metals brokerage. Have you ever sold a pair of shorts before? No. Well, you know what? You might want to after you see what I'm about to bring up here right now. This is another example. This is another William Montgomery in new shorts. Here he comes. Whoa. These are the ones we've been waiting for. For those of you that want to take a little trip to the beach and vomit in your own mouth while you're there, look at this young stud bucket fresh off of building a sandcastle made out of old burger wrappers. It's William Montgomery. My goodness. Look at this guy. This is what he would have looked like and he lost the

extra $200 in Vegas. Nothing. I'm really surprised that you have no ass. I was just going to say. You literally have this. It is unbelievable. Somebody hits you in the ass with a book bag. It is incredible how flat your ass is. I mean, if you lay down on your back, you would look like the New York City coronavirus curve. If he lays on his stomach, does it push his ass out? Maybe it does. Can we try it? You want to lay on your stomach for a second here? Let's see what happens. Oh my God. Oh, it's a pushup. He's got a little bit of junk there. My goodness. It is. It is just. It goes neck fat right into. Oh, hey, look at that. Oh, he's fucking the stage. Everybody's not laughing. He is fucking the stage. It's amazing how

the neck fat flaps over. It is incredible that I have a bigger ass than the fat man wearing shorts on this show right now. Your knees are bigger than your ass. It is true. It is true. He has bigger knees than but cheeks. He's sweating bullets from laying on the floor. That's all it takes. Definitely has an enlarged heart. I like it, William. There he goes. We're going to get back to more. That's my new favorite. I like those. We're going to get back to more shorts. Let's get back to the merit of this conversation. That ass is flatter than Kevin Houston's jokes. You do that a lot, right? It's probably annoying. Sorry. No, it's okay. Don't worry about it. Merit, what do you like to do for fun? I go hiking with my dog a lot. What kind of dog is it?

Rescue. I was told half Chihuahua, half Border Collie, very odd mix. Half Chihuahua, half Border. That sounds like Joel's whole family. I was going to say we know a lot about that. I like to do drugs. What kind of drugs? I love psychedelics. How do you feel about birth control? No, just kidding. I snored it. Psychedelics. I love edibles. What's the most extreme psychedelic you've done? I haven't done anything that extreme. I stare at tie-dye. Acid, just hallucinating on acid. Oh, wow. Have you been single for a while? Have you been single the whole time you've been out here? No, and I'm kind of seeing someone, but I don't know how it goes. You're seeing someone.

It's a good segue during stand-up, but I can tell you something. That makes sense. You met during the pandemic? We met before the pandemic. Did you move out here for him? No, no, no, no. But he lives out here? Yeah, he grew up out here. Little Jerry Watkins there. Oh, my God, I still can't believe he grew up. Yeah, it's not that cute of a story. We're not exclusive, so. Oh, you're not? My choice, my choice. Oh, you're like that. You're like, what's his face? You're like Ryan's girlfriend. Just a soulless monster. No, we're way more mentally stable than Ryan's girlfriend, Ryan. It takes a lot to get to the levels of insanity to where you hit Dominican.

That is the top of the arc. Oh, sorry. That's fun. What does he do? Welder. Wait a second. Do we know this guy? No, you don't know him. He's a welder. We know a lot of welders here. Is he a rough guy? What do you mean by that? Yeah, he's a man. He's not a Metro LA guy. I can't do that. I grew up on a farm. I don't do Metro men. Jesus, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? All right, I was making a joke before you did. So your dead sister married your mom's brother. Does that like make things? That makes like your niece, your sister and shit like that or something? So like, do you have siblings? Yes. Do you have a brother? Yes.

So if you and your brother went to a bar and fell in love with a set of sisters and married them, it's kind of like that. It's really weird. And I just make it into an incest joke, even though it isn't. But yeah, my cousins are like kind of like siblings to me. We grew up right by each other. But it would make my brother my, wait, it would make, that would make my brother my uncle. No, it wouldn't. It would make him my brother-in-law. Your brother-brother-in-law. Right? Yeah, it's really weird. I don't know what to tell you. But yeah, I don't know. I grew up in a small tiny town. I actually grew up on a farm south central Minnesota in between a town of like 1,700 people and 600 people. Are you Italian? No. I love the Sopranos though. Yes. Yes. It's a

great show. What ethnicity are you? I'm always the let down when people ask me that I'm white, just a bunch of different white. Yeah. That is a lot. I know. Should I start lying, Tony? At least white people, sometimes they're more specific. Like it's like, oh, I'm Scottish or whatever. Who gives a fuck? I would say Puerto Rican. That's not Puerto Rican. No matter how hard your imagination wants it to be, Brian. She just seems feisty. That's why I am very blunt and assertive. Real attitude on this one. Okay. That's why she needs a welder. You know, somebody could be like. Very fun set. Incredible. Like I said, great, great stage presence, even though you're technically not on the stage. Great projecting, great jokes. It all hits home. I appreciate it.

Awesome stuff. Thanks for coming by. There she goes. Merritt Landsteiner, everybody. Thank you, Merritt. Let's go back to the bucket. Let's do it. Let's go back to the bucket. Goodness gracious. How much fun are we having? You guys having fun out there? The few people in this room. For sure. All right. We know this young lady. She's been on the show quite a few times. She was also featured twice, got pulled out of the bucket in Ventura, our last truly live shows. She's back here again. Ladies and gentlemen, it is the wild style of blue ball, everybody. She's back. It's blue ball. It's blue ball. Here she is. It's blue ball. Here she is. Blue ball, everybody. Blue ball starting now. Here she goes. She's going to talk

into the microphone. It's blue ball. So what do you guys think about this new normal? It's a pretty fucking badass, right? I cannot wait for it to just continue on. It's going, I've been seeing so many guys come out like dangling their D like they're just ready. So am I. Totally, right? Hashtag, I'm next. Yeah, so it's not the gym today. I really actually went because I didn't want to get ready. And I finally fit into my skinny pants because I had my gardener trim my bush. And I could finally get in there. He said he was a gardener. Actually, no, he said he was a landscaper at Disneyland and he made this bitch in like unicorn and it's a well kind of looks like a unicorn that dropped a sandwich like a roast beef sandwich. But yeah, Jesus fucking Christ, man. Blue ball,

everybody. Wow. The shocking part to me was that you went to your notes. Yeah. Boy, that was the part that I was like, wait, what? My goodness gracious. Blue ball, blue ball, blue ball. I want Kevin back. I always I'm telling you, I find it intriguing people of different, you know, shapes and sizes and styles and there's very few, you know, grown ass women that sign up for the show and try to come on the show and just to give you guys, you know, you listeners of the show a little insight to how the current system is working. Basically, as of late, people have been able to sign up from being present outside, you know, before or after the shows. Basically, it's like, and you know, if I see the same person a few weeks in a row, I'll say hi. And after you say hi, you

know, sometimes they'll be like, Hey, you know, I would love to get on the show sometime, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's, you know, it's sort of a different process right now than just what it used to be, which would be a hundred people signing up for the shot. And maybe you get super lucky. Now, you know, we know who's in the bucket. And the reason why blue ball gets into the bucket is because she's so consistently shut the fuck up. It's because she's always here. She's always present and I'll walk out after a show and she's, you know, waving and saying hi and this and that. I mean week after week after week after week after week after week after week. And then eventually I'm like, you know what, blue ball? Why don't we do next week? All right. And she goes,

yeah. So there's like literally that's what's wild. It's like eight weeks of preparation at least. You've been waiting to go up and then that's what you were waiting to do. I got nervous. There's so many people here. Really? Not so many people here. Literally not. There's so many people here. I was good when I was knowing here. I was great when I was knowing here. And you've watched every person that's gone on stage and you know how it works. You grab the microphone when the music stops. You say, Tony says your name and you start and you're like, is this the mic? You literally said, is this the microphone that you've been sitting behind that microphone? For over an hour, you've been sitting there watching me say a name. The person comes up

and they start talking. I'm really good when no one in the room. I do really well by myself. Maybe you should be a comedian because that's where you're going to be performing for the rest of histories. Don't say that. I really, I always. No blue ball. You're right. You're going to break big any day now during this global pandemic. She reminds me of my cousin, Dumpster. Chroma Chris batting 1000 tonight. Absolutely incredible. I think even if I bomb, I'll still get some shlong. What are you talking? Like, what are you talking about? I'm just saying, like, you know what? It's a different. What's happening? Are you like going full requiem for a dream right now? Did you start speed during this pandemic? You started on diet. I got my

bush trim. Like I feel like great. Okay. Enough about this fucking bush. She's ready for action. Obviously. And this is a great. I put it out there. Right. You know, this isn't for the comedy. This was to let everybody know. Hey, I came here for the pussy. You know what? There's only one thing that can get this horrible taste out of my mouth and it is William Montgomery in new shorts. Here we go. Here we go. Here he comes. Oh, oh, look at this. Oh, wow. That's it. Look at this for all of you ladies in the room that have been wanting a wanting an abusive stepfather in your lives. Well, let me introduce you to a freshly shaven. Yeah. I'll tell you, he makes up for all the pubes you lost. Yeah. Those look actually comfortable. Now your belly

button really does. He's got a very similar brand new baseball caps as happy new year party out on it. My goodness. Oh, look at the pockets on that. They have zipper pockets gone. Well, let's see the see all those pockets work. William face that camera over there, William. That camera one back camera over there, William. Yes. Back pocket. I like that. Oh my goodness. Take my money please. Wow. There he is. I think he's command. His ass actually got bigger since the last time we are doing some but we do exercises back there. Some squats. Yeah. This real ass. Somebody check goodness for those of you that have always wanted to do that have always wanted to wonder what the guy that operates the festival amusement park rides looks like wearing only shorts. This is

you must be this tall to ride this ride. Everybody. This is a this is the dude that fixes the rides after the kids have gone home. If you've ever wanted to if you've ever wanted to fuck the tractor driver at a haunted hay ride, this is the guy for you. Here is the old you guys are right. Mess shorts way hotter than lingerie. Absolutely doodling. There he goes. William Montgomery. We have on the blue ball here. My goodness. So blue ball. How do you rationalize what happened here tonight? What do you what do you what do you think you think how long of a break? I was really excited. I was really, really seems like it seems like you were too excited. I did. I got really I I prematurely lost my shit. Are you what are you on? What did you do today? I'm so happy

to be here. Okay. But seriously, are you on any drugs or anything of any kind? I actually had one top shelf Long Island and I didn't even want to finish it. You had what? I can't even top shelf Long Island. Top shelf Long Island. Where? Here. Colombia. Did you have the top shelf chicken wings too? Did you? No, I did not. I did not. They call him Matthew. Get the fuck out of here. Like seriously, I feel this would have been my best my best set ever. What? What? It would have been. Literally, no one knows what you're even talking about. Are you kidding me? You can't hear me? Now we can go ahead. I said this would have been my best set ever. How would it have been if you did a different set and set it differently? No, the same thing, but if I just was cohesive and I came

out and just nailed it, but I choked. Okay, there she goes. I'm sorry. Blue ball everybody. Can't even not even not even in any condition to be able to be interviewed right now. There she goes blue ball everyone that she's still leaving. There you go. She's still walking away everyone. There goes blue ball. We're blue balled for comedy right now. My goodness. Actually, we got a lot in common. Yeah, tell me about it. Like anytime we fuck a guy afterwards, they're dicks on fire. This dick is on fire. My goodness. Absolutely gracious. That was absolutely wild. Yeah.

My goodness. I mean, I just don't even know. I mean, I literally like so many people here that made her nervous. Yeah, it's incredible. My goodness. Imagine what will happen if we allow anyone in the room. It's okay. You're going to be fine. Now she's over there. You know, she's too old to kill herself. All right. So here we go. Unfortunately, everyone, this is the part where of course my favorite regular, I mean, you know, my favorite regular, you know, right now the great Michael Lair would would come up and perform a minute, but unfortunately Michael Lair could not be here. But instead we have a special guest. I present to you ladies and gentlemen, here he is vape thing future truth teller. Here he is vape thing future truth teller. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Vape thing future truth teller vape thing future truth teller vape thing future truth teller Trump demolishes Biden a debate only to plunge in polls after Trump sharts on stage sharts shit fart sharp Trump sharts on stage vape thing future truth teller vape thing future truth teller Webster dictionary adds so many words for a gay that the dictionary factory catches fire vape thing future truth teller Kanye West is kicked out of Wyoming for traumatizing too many mooses vape thing future truth teller accused of exclusion rainbows formed by the rain are forced to add more colors new colors include mayonnaise cock black and tangerine dream vape

thing future truth teller 2025 number one honey moon spot north korea vape thing future truth teller more men come forward accusing michael jackson of eating their assholes vape thing future truth teller tupac is still alive and he comes back to wrap the world to peace only to get killed in a fist fight at the cheesecake factory tupac rest in paradise again vape thing future truth teller after psycho del lake mushrooms are legalized scores of industrialists bloke their brains out for raping the earth vape thing future truth teller in the future butts get so big big butts completely eliminate the chair industry vape thing future truth teller the butt replaces the pussy as the number one thing to fuck vape thing future truth teller kim kardashian has first butt baby

wow that was incredible so much information that was vape thing future truth teller my mind is blown it all in for whoa look at that mustache he really is a truth teller whoa there it goes he just ripped off his mustache that must have hurt did that hurt you can just get out of character so fast what are you doing he's like you're the one to talk you're working fucking mustache hi welcome to the show vape thing future truth teller that was no i'm michael oh my god i didn't even notice yeah oh michael lair everyone i have a lot to talk about let's talk about oh he shuts off the lights to the vaping future truth teller mass we're gonna about to talk some serious you know is that kiltony ombudsman the uh kiltony ambassador ombudsman i just

ain't me beyond ryan explain what i mean ryan what does he mean ryan j about the resident genius here on kiltony knows every single reference of everything ever here he goes tell us what he's saying ryan he's the guy that runs the editorial page of the newspaper tony show and review may i yes absolutely ryan joseph reminding me of my favorite holy no song yes sex with x is best the best thing in life there you go that's that's definitely my ninth favorite holla note i don't even know that holla note what's very i love holla notes there you go didn't make it to the greatest hits album but it's michael's favorite luckily it was my first improv hey um but you're all wrong about laundry like how do you not like laundry

it's like makeup for the pussy and laundry is still i like to fuck or go with the laundry on i like the laundry that got holes where the fucking goes yeah no that makes sense a lot of guys are into it and a lot of guys are into you know that look where women are wearing a lot of makeup and they look like the girls from the that we grew up on in the hawaiian tropic catalogs but i'm not really into that either so the chick that's only hot with makeup is like it scares me it's actually the opposite no laundry makeup you don't see makeup in the dark but you feel texture oh well i mean i would rather feel the fabric of laundry than just a pure nipple it's the fabric of my life oh wow my goodness there are a lot of people in here after all um hey tony yeah

should we talk about what happened this week the old uh boom boom no i have other things okay let's talk about it whatever you want to talk about um well i'm from chicago and kevin went first and he kept saying chicago chicago chicago chicago right but i wonder what he does but ironically enough there is no one in this room i hate more than that bitch merit whoa is that true do you know merit from chicago yeah no i know from an early experience in LA and i've been waiting for this moment and it's happening completely up by accident wow well here we go let us in i tell you absolutely tell us about merit landsteiner so well i don't know that bitch but um um okay wow jeez but i'll get to why um so i moved to LA to be a comic and this is

weeks before i killed tony and um i am i'm scouring the open mics i finally get pulled in the impromptu and um i do my first set and it was my my first LA like hell yes and um i was chilling with my girl in the back and merit goes up when i meto grass had jokes oh and um with her bullshit about iphones and shit and um she's like didn't get the life she's uh i guess used to in chicago i don't know but now that bitch goes i guess i'm not as funny as the guy in the wheelchair oh shit oh my god merit do you remember this oh my god little did she know that she's more pretty sizing she's fresh i'm i'm more okay go ahead so i'm at the ice house and i'm hoping i can i'm soon i'm gonna if she's doing more of my um you know mediocre jokes and um she's talking

about every guy wants me to eat their ass and i'm like yeah and then she's like talking about booking gigs and i'm like thinking well if you ever booked a gig you'd definitely hate someone to us wow this is incredible you know what this reminds me of who would who would again the butterfly effect i mean she made one little joke at an open mic no but this reminds me of a year ago and now all of a sudden it's coming back you guys remember which i've never remembered what handable lector movie it was it was handable handable and he got the revenge this is like the revenge you want to put a bore on her i knew this would come around i thought it was silence of the lambs was the one where he gets wheeled up and takes a mask off and eventually no no no no it was the one word

no i know i know i was making okay my bad now it's all good but he looks like no she'll do good with her iphone jokes oh my goodness do you want to spot at the ice house what are the absolute odds of uh of this happening this way very good the guy who took my handicaps by was here last week wow remember that yeah yeah no one takes michael spot yeah you keep couldn't wait to roll over there and tell her my goodness that's incredible he must have been you know literally i find in seared to she went out with her trash jokes okay we get it trash jokes mediocre you know what we need to hate her we got it you know what we're gonna change the energy for a second we're gonna check in with william in new shorts here we go here comes william in new shorts whoa

look at these bad mama jammers right there my goodness gracious for those of you that are fans of the new tampa bay buccaneers these are fresh outsized 38 waist with a built-in belt so you can't even lose it this time multiple pockets for you to keep your 200 bucks that you have left to your name and snacks yes many snacks a perhaps a bag of doritos and if you spill the nacho doritos on yourself it'll blend right in with the orange camouflage absolutely incredible you can spill anything on yourself dirt charcoal come stains white out anything will work with these delectable camouflage pants some of the oddest camo ever you cannot hide in the woods now it seems as if your ass is eating these shorts yes like your ass is so your ass is trying to get away so badly

that it is eating from the back side these camo shorts if you're trying to blend in with a forest fire these are the perfect camo pants for you absolutely incredible um my goodness for those of you ladies that are into a uh into a young grandfather this is this is the look that you're going for a uh young grandfather or a very old step brother this is william montgomery's super shorts supermodel what's your armpit hair look like let's see that oh barely anything they're surprisingly wow very very stunning it's got the sandals of jesus christ himself there he goes william montgomery's shorts model thank you william thanks again to all the people that sent those shorts off so that's that's really cool of you guys huge shout out you guys totally uh totally

went above and beyond which is sort of exactly also what i was expecting you to do but there you go it finally happened all at once you would have thought that the shorts would have come in and like slowly different weeks or something like that not necessarily 30 pairs at once but let's get back to this hate fest here we no no no we're going back to michael and we're going we're changing the subject here let me let me that bitch do no no eric jesus i'm literally like let's change the energies in the room eric's like let's go to chapter two of this of this toxicity uh michael what else is going on in the world i got a cut cousin you got a cunt cousin yeah um a cunt cousin i actually got it right yeah cunt cousin she won't fuck me anymore

no i got a concussion you got a concussion you know a concussion yeah tell us if i literally thought he said cunt cousin yeah that's the concussion i got a concussion she won't let me money in my way she won't let me sleep on her silver all right you did get a concussion you had a little fall this past week not a little fall a fucking concussion right okay so you had a big fall yeah i um i've been working so hard on my physical therapy that i went to open the door and i opened it like superman and i flipped over my wheelchair head first in the concrete and it was 5 a.m and i just had a beer okay fine again who would have guessed that yeah hey hey tony replaced golf with sitting

and see if you enjoy a tall boy once in a while okay i understand michael my question is people are taking shots at the throne tonight my god his majesty jesus christ you gotta love a bird god i was just saying because it was 5 a.m you had a beer and you fell out of your chair we did you did you knock out like how do you know you unwise how does anyone know like if you had a concussion you you know yeah i i was skateboarding the other day and i hit my head really hard wait what i was playing tony hawk wait wait hold on they make e-boy wait wait wait wait wait no i was playing by skateboard you were on your tesla hold on hold on hold on i was playing tony hawk really hard and i went like that and i hit my head on my the back of my bed stop stop stop stop

so this tony hawk has an actual board no no i was playing the video game and i hit my head that character on the video yeah yeah oh okay all right but i don't know if i have a concussion like it really hurts i didn't knock out like i don't know if i should go to the doctor okay there you go well it was 5 a.m i knew if i woke up clay she would freak the fuck out so i spent 20 minutes rolling around on my patio trying to get up and open up fuck and then i tasted oh my goodness i take the darkest cartoon ever that's what this would be and um i like so what'd you do after the 20 minutes of rolling around trying to pick yourself i eventually faced tony uh enough and she ran out screaming

finging out and what happened is temporarily i've lost string on my right side crossing her finger wow welcome to my nightmare tony oh my goodness i thought your nightmare was following merit no man that was my day dream mother we bring it back that's right hey i have a question uh i somebody sent me because of the water bucket challenge that they raised enough money they actually found a new uh thing that they've been trying out on people that have your condition that's actually been helping do you know anything about that like there's like six things out there and i have some of the best darkness around and really like we're at the precipice of snem cell treatment for more to know on this thing so it's

just a winning game and hoping i plateau and hoping bitches my merit don't kill me oh michael lair ladies and gentlemen you did it again my friend an absolute god damn star michael lair comedy dot com for everything michael lair michael lair comedy on all social media that's my that's my best laugh and all my times are killed told me that right there that's what he does to people he's the best right michael lair is a comedian and a god he's an absolute fucking star let's check out tonight's drawing from ryan j e belt there it is whoo look at the detail on that bad mamma jamma we got the great eric griffin we got me oh i'm a colonel in this of

some kind right a general oh a forest ranger in the forest fires all around the king and uh you are also uh there and there's a cat and uh smoky things and a little bear and uh wow look at that incredible detail ryan j e belt dot com all the prints of every single show every tour poster he's doing auctions over there everything's happening over ryan j e belt dot com but i've got a big hand for tonight's guest i'm so happy he was with us the great eric griffin everybody the return of eric griffin we're getting back to booking some of our uh some of our favorite guests on the show and i'm so glad you're able to make it and i'm glad you're still doing this by the way through this crazy times you found a way to do it kill tony cannot be stopped uh and here

it is still doing it so i appreciate all you guys that came out and everybody was you know we learned a lot tonight indeed riffin with griffin is available everywhere he's also is playing video games for those of you that are into what twitch right they're going to twitch eric griffin gaming there that's eric dr i k r i k and my hundredth episode of riffin with griffin will be next week that's right i actually knew that and forgot to say it that was my one big note that i wanted to say episode one hundred i've been on an episode with you before we had some fun talks yeah that's a great episode one of my favorites um and uh yeah hey how about the leader of the band tonight the great jet ski jesse johnson felt great in here tonight how do you feel jet ski i feel great i

want to lay the record for lingerie i don't like it either we've been naked this whole time on stage wow butt fire naked up there uh jet ski makes handmade ornaments uh for those of you that are into christmas you could use them as christmas ornaments but we call them anytime ornaments they are handmade by her they come with a certificate of authenticity they're flying off the shelf she just started making them it's her first ever merch and she makes each one by hand she ships them out to you she is uh she puts a lot of effort and uh and uh elbow grease into it which grease is scary when you're made out of fire what else jet ski that's all thank you so much toni there she is the jet ski follower at jet ski johnson this young man crank grand slams tonight

i've got a big hand for chroma chris everyone very funny very funny you she reminds me of my uh sister dumpster fire uh grand slam what else chroma what did you think about tonight's episode toni tonight's episode was lit yeah i'm just uh i'm only on instagram chroma chris at chroma chris on instagram and this young man back here is that our street fighter no it's joelberg joel himenez the entire time he's got mostly sorry on uh itunes and everywhere podcast are available he's also mostly sorry on social media what else joel nothing i love you guys this was fun there he is coming out there he is the great joelberg joel himenez a lot of fun stuff happening over at patreon.com slash hinchcliff where uh roast university school is in session a lot of my

upcoming guest interviews are uh some of the longest term writers in the history of roast writing we're talking about guys that have helped rickles and george jessel and absolute monsters of being mean with like five decades of experience now we're getting into it's very exciting over there for those of you that like insulting humor it's all happening over at patreon.com slash hinchcliff because it turns out i really am the grand duke of shit talking the king of attitude the king of attitude that's me the crown prince uh check out my uh virtual reality podcast virtual red band and we have the brothers in cursive and dead air over at desk squad dot tv including a new patreon for the brothers in cursive so if you like william mike gabrie and david lucas help them

pay some bills by doing that uh thanks a lot guys and one more thing uh while i have a second to chat about it real quick is that when i was in salt lake city this weekend i absolutely uh was reminded and had a moment of clarity on which i realized how possible it is in safe uh venues that do it right to do stand-up comedy and how amazing it is to run along set at places and while kiltoni obviously a lot of people sign up and it's in a bucket and there you'd have to switch microphones and it takes a lot of groundwork and there's too many people on stage already as it is uh while of course we're waiting for a vaccine or whatever for kiltoni to get back i uh told my people that uh i want to back on the road more so look out for tonyhinchclip.com for new stand-up tour dates coming in november

and december good night everybody good night so what you