KILL TONY - #733 - ROB SCHNEIDER + DONNELL RAWLINGS

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

Rob Schneider, Donnell Rawlings, Ari Matti, Kam Patterson, WilliamMontgomery, Hans Kim, D Madness, Michael A. Gonzales, Jon Deas,Matthew Muehling, Joe White, Troy Conrad, Tony Hinchcliffe, BrianRedban - RECORDED– 08/11/2025 Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at https://talkspace.com/tony Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/TONY and use code TONY and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Right now get 10% off at https://tecovas.com/killtony when you sign up for email and texts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at Desquod.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out Tony Hinchcliff.com for everything, The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliff. You can also check out ShopSquod.tv for Desquod merch, hats, mugs, whatever, shopsquad. TV. And now here's a brand new episode of Killedon. Tony. Hey, this is Redmond. Coming you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new

episode of Kill Tony. Give it off our Tony Hitchclay! Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? Yibby! Yes, we've done it again. Makes the noise for Brian Red Band, ladies and gentlemen. What's the super likable co-host of Kill Tony. And one more time for the best damn band in the land.

Ladies and gentlemen. Holy shit. This is Kill Tony, brought to you by Talk Space Prize Picks and Tocobas. That's the great Carlos Sosa, Fernando Castillo, Raul Balejo, and Michael Gonzalez on the drums. Matt Mueling on the electric guitar behind me, the great John D's on the keys.

And believe it or not, live in the flesh, that is D madness, ladies and gentlemen. Holy shit. Wow, the energy in this room is. unbelievable. The air conditioner is working. It is a beautiful 71 degrees in this room tonight.

And we have an amazing episode for you. I'm so excited about it. I'm in a really good mood. Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. All right, ladies, ladies, and gentle thems. It's Trixie and Katte here from the Ball and the Beautiful. And today we're talking about

Audible. If you know anything about Katinaai, you know that we are lovers of romance, paramours, superiors. if you will. I believe the titles you're searching for are The Morning Dove of Desire and the Crimson Countess of Courtship. Whatever are official titles,

we are both obsessed with romance. And while we live in a constant state of barely managed insanity, there are times when we need to escape. And what better way to be transported to rose-tinted realms of reverie than listening to Audubles' romance collection? They have audiobooks to satisfy

every side of you no matter what your predilections. Whether you're into modern rom-coms by authors like Ali Hazelwood or something a little more romanticie from Sarah J. Mass. You can find a book-based boyfriend in the big city on a testosterone-drenched hockey rink or even flying high amongst the clouds on a dragon.

It's all there, and your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com. Where's your playlist taking you? Down the highway, to the mountains, or just into daydream mode while you're stuck in traffic. With over 4,000 hotels worldwide, best western is there to help you make the most of your getaway

wherever that is because the only thing better than a great playlist is a great trip life's the trip make the most of it at best western book direct and save at bestwestern.com what if the truth about our reality has been hidden in plain sight what if aliens consciousness and ancient spiritual wisdom are all connected i'm rob and this is unveiled a podcast that dives headfirst into the biggest mysteries of our time.

Each episode, I sit down with thought leaders, insiders, experiencers, and visionaries to explore the unknown, from the UAP phenomenon and government cover-ups to alien abductions, remote viewing, and the metaphysics of consciousness. This is not your average UFO podcast. Unveiled as about peeling back the layers

of reality, of belief, of ourselves. So if you're ready to challenge the mainstream narrative, expand your mind and discover what lies, Beyond the Vale, hit follow and join me on this journey into the unknown. Who's ready to start tonight's fucking show, huh? Well, well, well, we are, we are, by all measurements, the number one comedy show in the world right now. Colbert is out.

Howard Stern is out. It's us. Twelve and a half years every Monday. And yet I've never had one of the guests that's on tonight's show, and I've always wanted this guest. The other guest has famously been on numerous times and leads the all-time record of walkouts by a guest during a taping of the show.

What a chemistry match we have here tonight. Two comedy legends. One, one of the biggest comedy movie stars of all time. Two, literally, one of the biggest comedy television show stars of all time. Famous for being on the number one comedy show of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you our guests, Rob Schneider and Donnell Rawlings. Yeah, let's fucking go.

Go. Rob Schneider. Donnell Rawlings. Yes. Yes. Abs of fucking Looting. Donnell. Donnell Rawlings. The Donnell Rawlings show.

Available everywhere. Rob Schneider is on tour. Rob Schneider.com. Rob, welcome. Welcome. Welcome, fresh off of Happy Gilmour, to Rob motherfucking Schneider. Thank you, Tony. You can do it, number one show in the world.

Yeah, you did it. You did it. You did it. How exciting is this. We've always wanted Rob on the show, and we got them. Looking stunning tonight. We win for us, dressed up for us. We love it, Rob.

Welcome to the Kiltone universe. I got this at Neiman Marcus in the gay bull fighting section. Fitz though, right? I love it. That's my favorite section at Neiman Marcus. Everybody knows it. Donnell Rawlings is better.

I don't want to fucking be here. The walk-off king of the show. Let me say something. You did that, and you don't give a fuck about black lives. Oh, my God. me a shirt that says black lives do not fucking matter on this show and this is a funny thing we started as good friends yeah and i had a situation yeah right where people say i crashed out uh-huh you was one of the motherfuckers you was one of the motherfuckers and they've been torturing me

for the last fucking five years yeah they said that you even came on my podcast and said i was uh Christopher walking off the show. And he's fucking, I love y'all, assholes at the same time. Don't give a fuck. Tell him what else I called you on that episode. Your favorite one. What did I call you?

What? I can't remember. I called you Dave's. Oh, no. And this is my friend. He said Dave Chappelle's butt plug. I called him Dave Chappelle's butt plug. What the fuck was that about, Tony?

That's a good one. Yeah. That's what we call that. That's a good one right there. Yeah. And I'm telling me, these motherfuckers don't give a fuck about me. Yeah. Why are you laughing, nigga?

You don't give a fuck about me either, son? And I'm a father. I love being a father. Yeah. And I deal with these killed Tony fans for the last fucking four years. Yeah. They keep fucking with me, Tony. They don't give a fuck that I'm a father.

I'm a black man. What the fuck is that? We're not going to do this. So listen. These motherfuckers are so fucking ruthless. I posted a video of a core moment in my son's life. I'm teaching him how to ride a fucking bike. Right, Rob?

And then somebody, one of your fucking fans, says it's a good thing he looked toward him how to ride a bike so he can walk out of his life instead of rolling out. Tell him about the top 10 video on YouTube. Oh, no, this is what you did for me. Thank you for the engagement, everybody. But you notice he's the biggest name in comedy right now.

So his shorts fucking kill, right? So I was like this. Oh, I just Googled myself one day. And I wanted to see how people felt about me, right? I was like, I know they loved the episode when I did with David Lucas. I got a stand ovation. I know that. I was like, I'm going to put Tony Hinchcliff, kill Tony, and Don Air Rollins.

in a search engine and see what happens. You know, the first thing that popped up, this is the first thing that popped up, the 10 worst guests and killed Tony fucking history. And I'm letting y'all know, I'm proud to say, fuck Rick Flair. I'm number one. I'm fucking number one, bitching.

So there you have it. You don't care about me, Tony. I care so much. You don't really care about him. I don't really care about him. I heard you in a green and roll. You had a 20 minute conversation. Yeah.

And this is your friend. You said, Red, how can we make you more likeable? More likeable. No one knows about this. And I looked, I said, ah, it's not going to happen. Okay. But this is all about for me. What is that?

Is that a siree because I'm a black man on this panel? Oh, it's a fire. Oh, it's a fire truck, because when you walked off that one time, we have pictures of... Stop saying I walked off! I removed myself from the situation. All right, with your feet, therefore it was a walkoff. So, Rob Schneider is here. The number one ranked worst guests of all time.

Donno Rawlings is here. It is Rob's first time, so if you don't know, Rob. Over 300 people signed up for the chance to be on this show. show tonight. No doubt about it. They are at a bar next door. If I pull one of these names and hand it off to our trusty assistant Colt over here, he goes and wrangles the

person, they're backstage. They get 60 seconds uninterrupted to impress us with their hopefully stand-up comedy talent. And you know their time is up when you're the sound of a kitten. That means they have to wrap it up then or else they bring out the Angry West Hollywood Bear. Which rudely interrupts them and then

I conduct an interview with them. We all have fun together. The entire thing's improvise. Anything can happen. Are you guys ready to start tonight's fucking show? Well, here we go. Your first minute tonight, while we go wrangle, that first bucket pool is from an illustrious golden ticket winner, one of the best golden ticket winners in the history of the show.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a brand new minute from the great and powerful Martin Phillips, everybody. Here we go. Oh, cool. You know, a lot of comedians where they do jokes, they get the bump at the end. But I don't always have a drummer, so I use the harmonica. So here we go.

I stay at hotels. Nice hotels can be expensive. It's like, dang, $400. The prostitute was $800. I'm losing money. I like soda. My favorite soda is Sprite with cough syrup. It's an acquired taste.

Like, sure, I'm fucked up, but I don't have a cold. I take my dog places. He's not an assistant dog, but, you know, kind of like me, You know what's going to question it. But I think I can bring any animal with me, you know? I think they'd be like, oh, yes, that raccoon helps him. He has hands.

Wow. Martin Phillips has done it again. He has a brand new harmonica. This is brand new. Guess what? What? I don't know how to play harmonica. Wow.

I have no experience. Wow. I wouldn't have guessed that. You sounded fantastic to me. Thanks. Some type of... I think if you add cocaine, it's Uncle Laser. Hey, that's true.

Can you imagine doing cocaine with him to cocaine will be everywhere. All right, who's ready? No way. No way. Who's ready to hit this shit right here? Okay. Okay. Where eh?

No, this is right. You have a girlfriend. I know you got a girlfriend. You know why? Because I'm watching, and your fingers were just going crazy. Bitches, he was like this. I want to make you come. He sounded like Andre Hepburn and Golden Barn.

I want to make you come. Take this finger, bitch, and do this line of cocaine. Hey, Adorno, how about you take a wallet? All right, I will take a walk. If you walk with me, it'll take 30 minutes to get out this goddamn building. Something's got to hold on me lately. Wow.

Funny stuff, though, brother. Very funny stuff. Oh, thank you. That was fantastic, Martin. Very funny. My favorite part of that diss on Donnell was that you called him Darnel. Oh, okay. No, he did.

He said Darnel. Okay. It's funny. Last episode, I thought I was disappointed in my minute. I thought I was kind of mad. The absolute just dropped. I was looking at her reviews. Turns out, nobody could understand me anyway.

So I was like, okay, cool. Okay, I'm still good. Kenyon, when I say something, Tony? Yes. I know that's a joke, but what I understand about you, just watching you, the passion that you have for comedy, I know it's not easy to come up here to deal with the things that you deal with life and still want to put a smile on people's face

and have a good time. So whatever, we can crack jokes, whatever. But I respect that. I see it in your face and I see, I can just tell how hard you go. I'll talk to you. Good job. Fuck yeah. Yeah.

Hell yeah. I thought that it was really funny and I would have chosen instead of a raccoon, a ferret. Okay. And then I think, you know, as a closer, you can, you just think of, I'm just a suggestion. You could pull the ferret out of your ass at the very end, you know? As a closer, you don't want to do that early, because then you can't follow it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you also have a ferret with shit all over it, which is another problem.

These are just ideas, you don't have to use any of them. I won't take it personally. You just, it's up to you, I've just put it out there, what I'm saying? You're still dressed like a male jiccolo. I normally charge it's $10, but I'm willing to negotiate. That's a huge big. That's a huge bitch. You got you,

you had sex with the crippled lady in the movie, the one-leg lady. Yeah, I did. It's like, you know, you were an early ally, I guess. Even though you didn't like that she had one leg, but it was the movie. I originally wrote it, I wasn't sure if she had one leg or a penis.

I wasn't sure at the time. That was really way ahead, if you think about it now. I have both legs and a penis. Martin, you are absolutely on fire. What a fucking way to start tonight's episode. Ungodam believable. Make some goddamn noise one more time for Martin Phillips. And we are off and running.

Holy shit, and to the bucket we go. Oh, shit. The lovely Heidi, ladies and gentlemen. See, this how starts, Tony. That's how it starts. That's that walk-off juice right there. Red Bull gives you wings, that gives Donnell legs. Your first bucket pool of the night.

You guys know how this works. If you don't, anything can happen. It could be a crazy person. It could be the next great talent of the show. It could literally be the next best comedian on planet Earth. Or it could be someone that's put no preparation into this whatsoever. Could be someone super stable, could be someone completely insane. Anything can happen.

There's no show like it. Your first bucket pool tonight getting an uninterrupted 60 seconds is Brandon La Caruba. Brandon La Caruba. What's going on, everybody? What's going on, everybody? I got cut off by a Waymo the other day. And I didn't know what slur to say at it, you know? It was confusing.

It was empty. But then it occurred to me that the whole time I've known about Waymo's, they've always had slur energy. I go to this fucking Waymo. And I was like, what type of people is a Waymo? And it kind of made sense. It's very fat people. Because they weigh more than you.

I lost about 60 pounds doing the keto diet, which you guys are in Austin. You know what the keto diet is. It's high fat, low carb, two adderol a day. And you'll lose a lot of weight. I'm just saying. It's like having to bake an egg and speed in the morning. You know what I mean?

Worst part about being formerly very fat is the stretch marks don't go away, despite this one demographic that's constantly like trying to weigh in, you know, formerly pregnant ladies. We like to call them moms. No, they're always like, Brandon. Cocoa Butter makes the stretch marks go away, and I've eaten so much cocoa butter,

and they are still there. I'm done. Thank you. Brandon La Caruba. Am I saying that correctly? Perfect. Is that Italian? Italiano. You 100% Italian?

75. 75. What's the other 25? Ukrainian. Whoa. Look at that. Oh, yeah. I don't understand why that 75% Italian just doesn't completely take over that simple 25% Ukrainian, you know what I mean? Such an easy pushover. You're not wrong.

He did a minute on Waymo jokes and half these motherfuckers don't even know what Waymo is. I would expect you to have way more jokes in that, but... Brandon, how long you been doing stand-up? Six years in change Six years and change Where at? Where are you from? Long Island For five years moved out here about a year ago Got on last October and just been having a good time

I love it. What do you do for a living? I am a professional game show host Wow What kind of game show? Shout out Game on ATX My employer They do survey style games And wheel word puzzle style games The last time I was on I said

what we're directly based on and I almost got in trouble. Okay. But it's cool. It's a dream job. X-rated, family feud questions are they're really fun. Nice. That sounds like fun. So that happens at like bars and stuff. No, it's a brick and mortar. A lot of like company

team building exercises and then a lot of bachelor at parties and people at night and just hanging out. It's a fun thing. What's the craziest thing that's ever happened at one of these tapings of yours? I was producing for a game and And someone threw a mostly full beer can at the person that was hosting.

And then that baller was like, now, we're going to keep going. We're not kicking them out. We're not ruining this person's birthday. That was pretty ridiculous. A lot of people make their name tags, because you've got to have like a fake pretend game show name. A lot of people make their name like a slur. Okay. A racial slur?

Oh, no, the other type. I'm just checking. Yeah, the regular ones. Inword doesn't mean neighbor. Okay, good. No, we've recently had to start screening people for the N-word specifically. Sorry about that.

Did I laugh too... Are you really? Did I laugh too hard at that? First of all, you're very professional. You could tell you have very good... Your voice, you're very confident up there. Now, you don't have to end with this. It's just a suggestion, but you could...

You could have a ferret come out of your ass and just putting it out there. Now, these are just professional suggestions, but I want to thank you I want to thank you and I do think they're for not showing your stretch marks because I do think there was a curiosity

at least from this side of the room No ditty, no ditty, no ditty, no ditty I dare you I'm just saying these are just suggestions this is my first time on the show so I don't know how far I'm supposed to go with these I love it I love it

Rob Schneider by the way is on tour I don't want to give away what his closer might be but Tickets are at rob schneider.com. Pretty sure you can watch a pool of parrot out of his ass. I'm like 85% sure right now. Well, that show ends with a bang, dude. So Rob is on my soundboard at work.

I'm sure you can imagine what the button is. That's the you can do it button. And it's cool to meet you, man. Adam Sandler's calling. I don't know, what's the button? No, it's you can do it. Oh, you can do it. Okay, that was cool.

Yeah. Hell yeah. Right on, thank you for that. Hey, thank you. Very good, man. All right, good. All night long. Wake her ass up.

We go to win tomorrow. Brandon, what do you do for fun? Tell us something crazy about your life or something. You're in the interview part of Kill Tony. You've had some time to think about it since last October. Yeah, for sure. I'm a huge dork. I love anime.

I love Transformers. I got a little Autobot. Whoa. Okay. I play Smash Brothers for money, which is fun. Yeah, a lot of women. Smash brother, that sound like something in Atlanta. Yas!

Yes. Dana or all. From three. Get this ferrin out of my ass! But I had a lot of fun this weekend. I was working on a friend's show called The Hamburger Club, the comedy game show at The Creek in the Cave. Okay.

And I had to shout them out. It's a great format, super fun. They'll be back in Austin for sure. Okay, well, there you go. I'm sorry. It was just the best comedy thing I was a part of in a long time. It's cool.

You're a pro. You've got great technique, great mic technique. I think you should dress up. I'm not saying gay bullfighter for you necessarily. Yeah. But I think, you know, that would be a good thing. I agree. You can do a button down.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate that. Real pro, man. You're going to do great. Yeah, that's like a free t-shirt that you got from a green lawn family restaurant. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They don't sell these. I had to ask for this

from my favorite diner before I moved out of New York, and I was... You are the shout-out king. Can I tell you that? Yo, it is... If they see one extra customer from this, I would be very surprised. No, it's just wearing something that, you know, gives the audience the feeling that you give a fuck, you know, is one of the things. I mean, that's what... Can I add, can I, Rob, can I add to that? And I agree to you 100%, right? Like, the way you look. And I was going to wear a suit today, right? Yeah.

I was like just because as comedians, we got the flexibility to do whatever we want. A lot of times people dress down. But I understand what you're saying about the importance of it. But I didn't want to wear a suit because I didn't want people like this. He's probably going to walk off and go to court in that same suit. So that's the only reason. No doubt about it. Brandon, did you get a big joke book last time you were on?

A little one? Well, guess what, Brandon. A little upgrade for you. It's a big one. Brandon La Karuba was your first bucket pool of the night. Hello, you guys, it's Heather McDonald, and I have a juicy scoop for you on Audible. I've been loving their romance collection. They are a leading creator and provider of premium audio storytelling, and they've got this down. Romance fans are among their most engaged and voracious listeners, so there is nothing guilty about this pleasure.

There's more to imagine when you listen, and they have audiobooks to satisfy every side of you. Audible has modern rom-coms by Lily Chew and Ali Hazelwood and titles from the romanticcy genre that is going crazy right now, like the ones taking over book talk. We're talking about authors like Devney Perry and Sarah J. Mass. Plus, you can get into classic regency favorites like Pride and Prejudice or all the really steamy stuff. I mean, imagine a dalliance with a Duke or a sexy billionaire. You can find a book boyfriend in the city on a hockey rink or find love in another realm with drive. When it comes to what romance you're into, you can't be pinned down. So here's your invitation to have it all.

Get your first great love story for free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com. Reading, playing, learning. Stellist lenses do more than just correct your child's vision. They slow down the progression of myopia. So your child can continue to discover all the world has to offer through their own eyes. Light the path to a brighter future with stellar lenses for, for myopia control. Learn more at SLR.com. And ask your family eye care professional for SLR Stellis lenses at your child's next visit.

And here we go. We're playing with fire. Pure momentum as we come into bucket pool number two. We're going to keep it moving right along. This is a minute uninterrupted for Eric Bell, ladies and gentlemen. Eric Bell. Any fans of foreplay in the crowd tonight? Yeah, I like a little bit of foreplay. Guys ever heard of Irish dirty talk? Yeah? It's when you're both in bed, right?

And she's already asleep, but you're having trouble getting to sleep. So you tap her gently on the shoulder and say, Are you awake? And before she can answer, you're already in. are you're already in. Hey. Hey. I also have a version of that for you, ladies.

Okay? Ladies, if you're in bed with your man, he's falling asleep, but you're awake. You could just lean over to the side table, open the drawer, grab something out of it, tap him on the shoulder and say, are you awake? And before he answers, you're already inside him.

Okay, Eric Bell, ladies and gentlemen. Listen, I'm doing a special kind of... I just want to say... I don't think a ferret wants to go in your asshole. First of all, that's one. Two, I don't know if rape jokes are quite back yet, but it's an interesting... That could be opening soon.

And you're there early. That's all I'm saying. Very early. You have arrived early indeed to that one. He looks like the poster boy for, what is that called? Cuckhole. What is that? Like, oh, you can fuck my wife on a birthday.

He just looks like the poster child for that guy. That is some creepy material you have there, Eric. Bill. How long you've been doing stand-up? Two years. Where at? Central Texas, Bell County. Okay. Yeah, you never heard of it. Okay. And what do you do for work up there? I am a medical courier.

What exactly does that mean? Well, I drop off... Well, I pick up medical specimens such as... Oh. Oh. I gotta do this before I do my show. I got five minutes. Do it for ditty, ah, bad boys.

I think I have an image of what you do for a living now. Oh, Jesus. A courier, huh? Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay, how long you been doing that for? Four months. I have a special delivery.

Sorry. Am I at the rib of grass? I was just going off what you were done, not so. That wasn't mine. That was his. That works for anything. Four months of transporting bodily fluids. What were you doing before that?

What were you doing five months ago? Auto parts. Auto parts. Wow. It's all over the place. Oh, my God. What made you want to get into the medical courier business? They just paid four bucks more an hour.

Okay. Wow. Were you a good mechanic? I'm like a Z-plus mechanic. What does that mean? I kind of meddle, like I could change oils, rotors, brake pads, you know, just middling shit. Okay.

How did you learn how to do all that? You have a dad growing up? Yeah. Yep. Grandfather had a lot of antique chorus and shit. Okay. Are you ever transporting a kidney sometimes? And you go, you know what?

I'm just going to stop and have a beer first before I do it. I did have a co-worker that had to transport a human leg. Whoa. What was that for? Where were they taking the leg? She didn't tell me she quit. Wow. But she had one leg, she couldn't just walk off.

I think you got an area here for jokes that you could use, my friend, with your own life right there instead of, you know, with the wife putting something up the man's ass. Rape jokes, thumbs down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think the audience, responsible. responded appropriately to the material? Exactly.

No means no. Not really. You got some nos like this, Tony. No. I'm going right through that note. I don't know. I still don't understand. Where were they taking this leg?

First of all, it's no, is no, poppy, no poppy. That's the difference. Pappy, no, puppy. Oh, puppy. That's a yes for me. That's a clear yes. And maybe even a little choking in there. Shout out to Shannon Sharp.

Where were they taking this leg? I can't get it off my mind. Is there a leg transplant or something? Yes, I assume it was. A leg transplant? I assume it was. Is that a fucking thing? I've never heard of such a nice.

I mean, like I said, she quit, so I didn't get to hear the whole story. No, that was a movie that they were bringing it over. One of my movies, Duce Pigolo, we had the leg out. This is incredible. A leg. Like, from the knee down, do you know how big the leg was? We didn't get into a lot of specifics. Is there a thigh involved?

Leg, thigh. I don't want to make Donnell hungry over here about it. Leg thigh. And my community, that's called diabetes. Leg, thigh, was there any waffles, including with that? Waffles and the thigh? But moderately racial jokes. No, your rape jokes are completely insane.

Our jokes are 100% fan-approved. Your shit is frightening, dude. I'll retire it. It's unbelievable. Eric, tell us something crazy about your life before I get you out of here. Okay. I'm a songwriter. What kind of song?

Do you write? Medical songs? Rate me. Rate me. Hi, Fran. Mostly songs about my ass. She said, no. She said no.

She said no. She said no. I said yes. She said no, she said no. She said no. She said no. I said yes. She said no.

She said no. She said no. She said no. I say bitch. Yes. I love you know my my heart. Man. What kind of songs do you write?

I don't, mostly songs about my ex. Okay. Do you have a song about your ex that you'd like to do right now? Actually, this is, we're gonna go for broke here. Yes, I do. Okay. I don't write my own music though, none of that hack bullshit. So what are you saying?

What does that mean? Well, I take our existing music and just kind of sing my own lyrics. Just sing, niggins. Yeah. Just do it. The band don't play with them. Let them live and die. I'm in neighbors.

Sing neighbor. There we go. Do you guys remember the music? Just sing. Just sing the fucking song. You and these questions. My God. Tegan, this one's for you.

To the tune of Lone Ranger. Sing, bitch. Suck a dick, suck a dick, sick a big, bad dick. Suck a dick, suck a big fat dick. All right, I'm going to stop you right there. You don't write shit. That's on songwriting. Oh, boo.

Here's a little joke book. Eric. Congratulations, you got pulled out of the bucket. You were the second bucket pull of the night, Eric Bell. I want to do something fun right now. Donnell had an amazing opener with him all weekend, and we got to hang out. We had some drinks together,

and all of us were listening to music, having a good old time. I want to give this guy a little bit of stage time. Make some noise for the Kill Tony debut of Adrian Washington, ladies and gentlemen. Anybody got nieces and nephews? You don't know their real name? Like, I come from a big family.

I got, like, 40 nieces and nephews that I know about, right? One of my sisters called me one day. She said, Adrian, I'm running late. Can you swing by the school? Pick the kids up for me. I said, yeah, sis, don't worry. I got you. I was excited because they didn't know I was coming,

so I wanted to surprise him. I got to the school, and the principal was like, hey, who you here to get? I said, uh... That is a very good question, sir. I said, I got to sit by side and make a phone call. Because I was like, there's no way I can tell this man I'm here to pick up fat daddy and bug. But I tell this motherfucker picking up fat daddy and bug, they're going to call a CPS on my motherfucker.

I walked outside. I called my sister. I said, hey, who are these niggins that I'm looking for? There was another time I was coming off the road and my wife called him. She said, hey, what you want me to take out for dinner? I said, them titties, just like that. Didn't think twice. my daughter say, oh, dad.

True story. My wife said, yeah, you're on speakerphone. I said, why you ain't say that when I answered the fucking phone? You know ain't speakerphone material, right? But as a parent, you got to try to fix it. So I was like, hey, put my baby on the phone. My daughter got on the phone all awkward and shit. She's like, yeah, dad.

All I had was this, y'all was like, hey, listen up. I said, one day somebody going to say that shit to you. I said, we just hope you don't fucking live with us when it happens. Thank y'all very much. Fuck, yeah. Washington fantastic he's a pro out of the great state of Minnesota correct Adrian Minnesota right yes yes sir welcome welcome yeah kill Tony universe it's great that this is a fucking amazing travels all around the world with his own stunt man

I knew I shouldn't award these fucking glasses no no no no no no okay I got ashes all over my I'll do it. I'll walk the fuck off. I'll do it. I grabbed Donnell by the elbow. Now it looks like my hand is burned. You are the asheiest human. Can we get some lotion? Heidi, you have any lotion? Tony, here's the good part. My preference is Ben York.

Rob Schneider. Here's the good part. If Donnell walks off, I'll just take that seat. You're audits. I just want to know the difference. Let's check in with Rob, our chief ferret correspondent. Now, you're from Minnesota? I'm originally from Mississippi. but Minnesota's been home for very long. Minnesota?

Yeah. It's changed so much of the immigration. I mean, Minneapolis has so many Haitians now. It doesn't even resemble Somalia anymore. Rob done his homework. Yeah.

They are. You hang out with any of the Haitians at all? Nah, I like niggas, I understand. They scare us, too. They scare us, too, white people, just, you know what I mean? They're not eating pets, the Haitians, but they are considering it. So what's going on in life up there, Adrian Washington? I'm, we empty nesters now, man, like, so we just fuck wherever we want to, so I love that part.

Like, yeah, everybody's like, is it weird or not having your kids home? Fuck, no, I don't fuck with my kids like that. Wow. Kids think we need them. My daughter said something smart to me one day, and I said, I'll fuck you up. And she was like, ooh, you're going to go to jail, too. I was like, guess we've been to jail before, bitch.

That's what they need to know. I was just admiring Deep Madness doing his Donnell Rawlings impression there for a second. I don't know if you guys saw that. He'll be chilling outside of the fire department in no time. This is called bullion now, Tony. This is abusive and enough is a fuck enough, okay? Adrian. I love it.

So all your kids are fully grown. Yeah, my youngest just turned 18, man, just got his license. He's graduated on the dean's list. I got a son that'll be fucking 30 next week. Wow. So they're all out of the house. All out of the house, bro. My daughter lives a little too close, so she thinks she can just swing by any time. I'm like, get that key up, motherfucker.

I got to call you before I come to your house, but you can just swing over any time. My wife's super dope. I've just made 11 years married. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah. I got a fucking dog who changed my life. five years ago. So, like, I love him way more than I love the kids. It's dope. That happens. That happens. What do you do for fun, Adrienne?

Comedy, man. Like, I just live. Like, honestly, like, I'm getting up there, man. And I've been doing this for a long time. So this is super dope because where I live, there wasn't comedy. So I started comedy where I live at. You know what I mean? I started my own company. That's actually how I met Donnell. I booked them to come there. And I actually met Red Band like eight, nine years ago. And I ended up hosting for him at a class. He's the best thing in Minneapolis, or Minnesota. I appreciate that, bro. Is he more interesting than you?

There was just a question. I love it. How do people find more of your work, Adrian? I'm on Instagram, a funny man, Adrian W. That's Funny Man Adrian W. There's some other niggins who just want to be Funny Man Adrian. You got to put a W on it. Adrian, I love it.

And I got to, this is my company, One Mike Entertainment. So my website's on here. Funny man, adrian.com, man. Austin, you guys have been fucking dope. Hell yeah. Great stuff. Make some noise for Adrian Washington, ladies and gentlemen. Miller Light.

The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer and the perfect pairing for your game time. When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both because they knew the best. part of beer is the beer. Your game time, tastes like Miller time. Learn more at millerlight.ca. Must be legal drinking age. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or

sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee, and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's taxes extra. On to the next one. We go back to the bucket. Oh, no, come on, no. Oh, my goodness. They really didn't know the difference. It is incredible. The resemblance is striking. Stop it!

Y'all really do look alike. Your next bucket pool, ladies and gentlemen, back to the bucket we go. Make some noise for Jose Ayala, everybody. Hey. Yo, what up, Kilton? How are you guys doing? Hell yeah, hell yeah. I'm pretty happy, even though, yeah, even though I don't know too happy, you know, I'm pretty fucking happy, yeah.

Yeah, I've been dating a lot lately, you know. I've been dating a lot of Latinos, you know. You guys fuck with Latinos? Fuck, yeah. Yeah, I date Latinos only not because I'm a traditional Mexican. I just like the way their mustache tickles my mustache when we kiss. That shit's dope as fuck. You feel me?

You know? Just me? Oh, yeah, you feel me? Fuck, yeah. No, no, yeah. No, yeah. It reminds me of home. It really does.

You feel me? Yeah, I fucking miss my dad, you know? Yeah, my dad fucking hates me telling that joke. He tells me all the time. He tells me, hey, Jose, can you stop telling that joke? But he tells me in Spanish, so it sounds more passionate, so he goes, Jose, you know? And I go, of course you can, of course I can stop telling that joke,

but you gotta stop biting my lip when we kiss me, motherfucker. Yeah, he's leaving marks, the fuck, you know? All right, my name's Jose Yalla. Jose Ayala. Jose Ayala. Welcome. Have you been on this show before, Jose? No, I've never been on. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

You are sweating bullets, right? Yeah. Look at you. First time. He must think it's about to be an ice raid up here. straight up here. Home Depot's been faking for the last six months. Come on.

Amazing stuff, Jose. How long have you been on stand-up? Three years. Three years. What do you do for work? I'm a bartender, actually. Okay. That's believable. Huh?

Yeah. Here on 6th Street? Yeah, I'm at Cheers Shop Bar down the street. Oh, wow. Yeah, they said I get $100 if I call them out, you know? Wow. Wow, look at that.

Amazing. I'm sorry, I fucking need the money. It's okay. Serious question, Jose. Are you sweating because you're nervous tonight performing in this number one show on YouTube? Or are you smuggling drugs in your ass? Both.

Follow-up question. Are the drugs stuffed inside of a ferret? He got up there somehow, yeah? somehow, yeah. You're damn right, buddy. You're damn right. I think I just can say, Tony, that incest jokes apparently are back. I mean, that means we're right around the corner

from Eric Bell being the best comedian in the world. We are just coming around the corner. Cheers Shotbar, by the way. Has some one-star reviews like you can never believe. This is a little segment on

this show that we call Tony reads the Yelp reviews. You know, Cheers is one of those bars. Let me just tell you, 6th Street is massive. Austin famously has more bars per capita than any city, anywhere in the world. And Cheers is one of those places that I've seen the sign

two billion times, and I've never gone in there. I have no idea what goes on in there, and probably for good reason. I have a lot of friends in this city that were here before me, and they've never recommended it to me. I'm gonna read some one-star reviews, let it begin.

This is David S, visiting from California, says in all capital letters, fraud. Make sure to check your credit card statement. 18% gratuity was included in the bill, and they had the courage to write in an additional tip when I crossed it off. Do not go to this bar. That sounds like me, sorry.

Yeah. Whoops. I mean, allegedly, allegedly sounds like me, all right? It could be anybody. Yes. Okay. Diego Z. From the University of Texas, says,

absolutely abysmal experience. Bartender got us in by offering free shots of Buchanan's, in which I took him up on his offer. What the fuck is Buchanons? I've never even heard of that. Like bad whiskey or something? No, it's tequila, but it's, yeah, it's top shelf. Tequila called Buchanons?

A tequila named after a white guy? It's Buchanas. Oh, okay. When you say it like that, it's totally different. I'm just reading the writing here. It really needs your accent. They need those little Latino accent marks over this. Buchanan's.

Free shot of Buchanan's. Free shots of Buchanan's. You see the difference there? Anyway, I took him up on his offer. Later in that same evening, I went to the bathroom, and he followed me in and accused me of offering cocaine to other patrons. I was threatened and escorted out. I was the only Hispanic male in the establishment and felt racial.

targeted. If you see a six-foot-four 225-pound male... That's him! That's him! Bartender with a beard, don't go in if you're Hispanic. You would think that in Austin establishment would be more progressive in their offerings to non-natives, but sadly this is not the case. Save your money and go to a much better establishment, such as Eisenhower's or peckerheads. What the fuck? These are all bars I've never heard of.

And I have a drinking problem, so that's very interesting. That's very interesting. Much better crowds with bartenders that aren't on a personal vendetta of the power trip. Wow, okay. Let's see what we got here. Maybe one more. Oh, wow, this is great.

Okay. Shit, I really need this job telling you the fuck. Oh my God. I gotta tell you, this one, we're going back. We're going to March 2020 here. Let's go back in time. Joanne L. from Pittsburgh PA says, walked by, Bouncer sees we're Asian

and yells, come on in, no coronavirus here. Then proceeds to offer us kamikaze shots. Wow. How long have you worked at this establishment? Only nine months. Only nine months. Absolutely incredible. I hope to continue too.

Oh, it's over, bro. This is it. Oh, my God. It's so hard to say goodbye. Abelow says in all, says in all capital letters, racist staff. This is the worst place that I've come to on 6th Street.

The bartender denied services to me and my friend for no reason. We are two educated, well-groomed Latinos. Why does everybody have to say their race when complaining? It's like everything has to be racially charged. We asked if there was a bar at the rooftop and the bartender said, no, the rooftop is closed and will be open at 8.30. Meanwhile, there were a lot of customers upstairs having drinks. When I went inside and asked him why he lied to us,

he didn't have a word to say, and his face looked really dumb and stupid. I still like to think this is you. All right, let me read one more here. Let's see if we got one more. Wait, what is the... The kamikaze does sound kind of racist, but there's another drink at that establishment

called... Me-so-ho-me! It's also... Hold on, go back. Two parts gin, one part soda. All right. One last one. Let's see if there's any newer ones.

Where's the newest one at? Four girls got their phone stolen last night out of their purses and pockets. Wow. All right. Okay. $10 for a fucking smear enough ice. Okay.

That's enough. What do you think the worst part of Cheers Bar is? You're the one getting side cash out of them. Oh shit. All right, the atmosphere kind of sucks. Okay, perfect. Like, no, it's, I'm not gonna lie.

It's kind of dumpy in there. I'm not gonna, yeah, it's, it's, it's, I work there and I fucking have to see it every day, dude, come on. You know, he's gonna be collecting medical specimens after this shit, right? Ski! Well, I'm at, I'm on, I'm answering honestly, you know? What can I do?

Well, honesty is going to get you fired. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. It hasn't helped me in my life at all. It's a great place, guys, all right? Do you do drugs, Jose? The sweat. I've never really seen anybody sweat quite like you.

I'm just naturally sweaty. Okay. You're always like this. Yeah. Wow. Do you have your green card? Yes, I do. Actually, I was born here, actually.

Oh, shit. Hell yeah. All right. Okay, I'm just going to go ahead. No, go ahead. No, go ahead. I just say you just look like you still can be rated, I guess it's okay if black people do it.

Yeah, it's never racist. They can't be racist. They're black. So none of that can be interpreted as racist because they're incapable of being racist, as you know, because they're black. Or as my Asian mother would say, black. You know, Rob, I own a black ferret, too.

I just want to. We'll be right blacked after these messages. Jose Ayala, you're leaving here with a medium-sized joke book, ladies and gentlemen. Jose Ayala. We're having fun here tonight. There goes Jose. Absolutely soaking wet.

Oh, look. It's the lovely Heidi. Look what she has. That's real lotion, everybody. Real lotion for these albums. I mean, I mean, Rob Schneider's doing some of his famous lines for movies, and Donnell is doing real-life Ashy Larry. Oh, my goodness. What an amazing moment in the history of the show. Look at that one. Heidi. Slower, Heidi, slower. I mean, it is absolutely. Oh, we got, can we get a little, can we get a little on Rob's nipple there?

This is the number one show in comedy right. This is the number one show in comedy right now. And this is what it takes. This is what it takes. A powerful white woman unashing Donnell. Rob Schneider's nipple getting a little residual residue. You gotta love it. anything can happen. This is Kill Tony. Back to the bucket we go, ladies and gentlemen,

as we get a minute uninterrupted, this looks like a new name, make some noise, for David Womble Jr. Here we go. I'm a single dad. My daughter is 14 years old. Just finished ninth grade. The entire year, I was afraid of one thing. I was afraid that the upperclassmen are going to try to fuck my daughter. One day she came home, she said, Dad, this guy came up to me and he asked me if he could hit it. And I thought to myself in ninth grade, pretty good line. But I have my dad hat on. So I said, how did it make you feel? She said, very uncomfortable. She said, can you tell me some things to get these guys up off me? I said, absolutely. I said, tell them, yo daddy. is going to rip their dick off.

Now, children never say what you tell them to say. A couple of months go by, she comes back. She goes, Dad, I got something to tell you. Dad, the dude came up and asked him if he hit it again. But this time, I did what you said. I looked him right in his face, and I said, my daddy is going to bite your dick off. I said, wait?

Who ever said bite? And I'll be at the school every now and then, and I fuck with the kids. I'm like, I'll bite them. Thank y'all very much. David Womble, Jr. What's up, Tony? Welcome.

Thank you. Rob Schneider, what do you think about that? Underage sex jokes are back. I think that's a confirmation. We have our finger on the pulse tonight of what's happening in comedy. Incest jokes. Back.

Underage sex. Back. Rape? Not quite yet. That's what's great about this show. You can really see what's happening in the world. David Womble, Jr., you've been on before, correct? Absolutely.

And this went much better, if I remember correctly. Am I correct? You're good. You're correct. I'm good, yeah. I'm correct. Okay. David Womble, Jr., tell us.

How long you've been on stand-up? Seven years. Seven years. Okay. Where at? Started in Colorado Springs, then in Tampa, and then now here. Okay, how long have you lived here? A year and seven months.

How do you make a living? I'm an IT technician. Wow, look at that. You don't really see that with your people very often. No, Donnell, no. Oh, my favorite thing right now is Donnell's fresh elbows are leaving a little pile of moisture grease here on the face. How are you gonna let him say that shit to you, darn?

What, about that? What'd you say? What'd you say? I said, how you gonna let him say that about us, this is a joke? You just told a joke about eating another man dick. I don't even know. I don't know where they do that.

I'm still street, nigga. I still got a homophobia in me. And he even did depression. I bit his dick like, ah, ah, and then you're like, yo, how are you gonna tell him talking about that? You just chew the dick on to kill Tony. That's true. It's true.

It is true. You know other people will see this. Right? And they're gonna want their dicks chewed off too. David, what do you do for fun? Tell us more about your life. Play racquetball. You play racquetball.

Wow, you people really don't do that often. This guy, if I told you, if I told his dating profile, just I work in IT and I like playing racquetball, that is the last face you would guess would be behind that avatar. But it makes sense. You like chewing dicks and playing racquetball, they go together, son. You guys usually make a lot of racket, but playing

racquetball, but... That's a whole different thing. What do you say after this game, we chew some dicks? What do you guys feel about that? Ferrets! Ferrets! Ferret! Yeah, yeah. I love it. Racquetball. Wow. Yeah. My goodness. Wow. What else? Tell us

more about you, you whitest black guy ever. Racquetball, IT. I lived in Japan for four years. You lived in a van for four years. Japan. Oh, that's wow, again. I mean,

wow. Not a van. Just throwing it out there, maybe not a dancer, either. Wow. Yes, I could dance. My buddy, Ace Henderson, who he did comedy with,

not much of a dancer. Similar situation. He chewed dicks. I have no. I have no idea. who that motherfucker is, but all right. So you can dance. Let me ask you this, David.

This is a little segment that we've done before. Do not make a black man dance. Thank you. No, no, no. Don't do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. Don't suggest.

I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it unless he wanted to. But if you, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm gonna just ask you. No, don't give him a dance. Like a rumbo. Don't give him. Burr-brum, br-bram.

Just a little shake it up. Uh-oh, here we go. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh! Hey!

Dude-Dick! Shure-Dick! Chud-Dick! Chud-A-Dick! Chud-A-Dick! June-Dick! June-Dick! June-Dick!

Ju-Dick! Juh-R-A-R-A-R-A-R-H-Dick! Yeah! Womble Jr. No biting of any dicks happened. No fairs were harmed in that dance. David Womble Jr. So you're a junior.

Yeah. Are you close with your father? Yeah. Another white trade. That was not cool. You know what I'm saying? We're having fun here. For sure.

We're having fun here. Yeah, my dad was in the military. That's why we were in Japan. Okay. I was in the military. Did you know that? Yeah. I did not.

Yeah, I was in Air Force for four years. That's what so. Thank you for your service. I used to thank you. I used to be a military police. I used to curse out. I had a Korean police friend of mine, right? And we would teach each other different languages and shit out language.

And we would get married each other. We would curse each other out, right? I would curse him out in broken Korean. And he would curse me out of broken English. And I would light this motherfucker up. I'd be like, y'ai ma'i-e-hi-hi-shibal-a-don-mog-a-che-che-che-chchok-ba-e. They got him, I don't know what I said, but I said that shit.

And he would curse me out and all the black shit he knew. He'd be like, shut the Newport nigger mouse. Wait. You're a lemon pepper chicken wing fuck a nigger. You're steak well done every day. You a nigger baby father. Oh my goodness. That's what we did.

Check in with Rob Schneider. The brothers love Japan and Korea. They do. When I was there, I was performing for the troops. But I did say very hardworking people, Asians, and as I'm half Asian, I can say, we're very hard working. Koreans, a little lazy, to be honest with you. No, you know, you go to the Korean barbecue, you know, Korean barbecue? You know, you go in the like, welcome to Korean barbecue, welcome to Korean barbecue.

Here you go. The special, the top show line, very good mabeling, very good mabbling. You thought very mabeling. And I said, okay, you get the top show. And then two minutes later they come back and it's like, dude, this is fucking raw meat. What is this? Oh yes, you cook it, you cook it, you cook it, you cook it. Hey, I'm going out to dinner, I'm spending a hundred bucks with my wife.

You cook it, you cook it, you cook it. You know, so late, I hate to go to a Korean whorehouse. Come on in. Oh, Rob, Rob, Rob, this is the room. You suck your own dick. You suck it. You suck it. You suck it.

Then you come over here. I gotta say this, me. been in Korea, do you know how to say how much for the pussy in Korean? How do you say? This is how you said. You say poji oh my yo. That's how much for the pussy. But you can't be like, bitch, poji or myo.

You got to be like, poji or my oh. And I'm hungry. Ha'iqu pekapa, taksan. That's like I'm hungry and I'm going to eat. Now if you want me this, haiku, pekapa, money, poji, mok. That means I'll eat the pussy. eat the pussy. That's what it means.

My, Donnell. Shout out to all the Koreans out there. Donnell, my story was a joke, not actually in a whorehouse. You were in a whorehouse in Korea. I was 18 years old! I was making a joke about a whorehouse, and they thought it was funny. They didn't want to actually hear an experience of a man in a whorehouse. Fucking whores, like you did.

I didn't fuck whores. I participated. Okay, never mind. He's definitely fucking. I was 18 years old. It was a cross-cultural experience. I get it. And there was money and fluids exchanged.

My kids are half Asian. Their grandma's going to hate this shit. Your kids are half Asian? Yeah. Wow. So your baby mama is Korean? She's Thai. Wow.

Okay. Yeah. Poor boy. Hell. Don't get that when they play it back. Exactly. No, I get it. Did the Asian grandmother ever eat the dick?

She got to America, so obviously she ate somebody's dick. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. I don't know if you guys know this, but when Donnell was in Korea, he was part of a cooking show called a walk-off. I like that. W-O-K. Do you remember? Yeah.

Oh, you. You can the walk of the walk. Me so horny. David Womble Jr. Fun times, my friend. And it's amazing to watch your growth. I remember for a fact, that's a better set than before. David Womble Jr., getting better, ladies and gentlemen.

That's what it's all about. Ontario, the weight is over. The gold standard of online casinos has arrived. Golden Nugget Online Casino is live. Bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world-class gaming experience right to your fingertips. Whether you're a seasoned player or just starting. Signing up is fast and simple.

And in just a few clicks, you can have access to our exclusive library of the best slots and top tier table games. Make the most of your downtime with unbeatable promotions and jackpots that can turn any mundane moment into a golden opportunity at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Take a spin on the slots,

challenge yourself at the tables, or join a live dealer game to feel the thrill of real-time action. All from the comfort of your own development. devices. Why settle for less when you can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Gambling problem call Connects Ontario 1866531-260-19 and over physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nuggettcasino.com for details. Please play responsibly. All right. Let's talk about how Amazon Prime makes everything better. You know the moment.

You're will binge watching different things and you realize that Prime has more to offer than unexpected. Amazon Prime isn't just fast delivery, though let's be honest. Getting snacks or a last minute prop delivered the same day is a lifesaver. It's also Prime video for all the comedy specials, Amazon music to vibe to, and all the things that make life more interesting, Red Band. Whether streaming a stand-up special, building the perfect playlist for the next show, or getting new gear delivered fast, Prime helps make it all happen and maybe even delivers a few laughs along the way. So whether comedy drama or just the perfect new joke book is the vibe remember prime is there for it i do it all on prime whatever you're into it's on prime from streaming to shopping it's on prime visit amazon

dot com slash prime to get more out of whatever you're into amazon dot com slash prime all right this is gonna be a fun one this young lady is uh what we call kill tony famous ladies and gentlemen make some noise for the long-awaited return of the one and only. Juanita, everybody. Juanita is back. Any Catholics in the house? New Pope, yeah. I, no, I didn't grow up religious.

So it was very strange when in 2006, I dropped out of high school. to hide up from my mom, I joined a touring Catholic ministry. They made me pray to themes, one of which was queen. I'll show you guys, you're going to have to help me a little bit, okay? Jesus was a cool dude, 40 days without food, giving his life for the golden rule. He died in our place, amazing grace,

Spreading his love all over the place, singing And we will, we will praise you. Amen. I did that for nine months. That's the gayest thing I've ever done. And I do anal. Wannita. Welcome back to the show.

Got to a remix of that song for any black guy watching her right now? Yeah. We will, we will. Fuck you. It's probably true. Until you find out, she has a dick, Donnell. That is a...

That's how it happens, ladies and gentlemen. They can't tell. No, Donnell, come back. No, Donnell. brothers, the brothers can't tell. The brothers can't. They will, they will. They never, the last

place. I was trying to be nice, so you set me up, Donnell, the last place the brothers look apparently is the Adams Apple. Whereas white guys no. That's the first place to white guys look. You ruin me. It is. I'm gonna,

I'm gonna say, Charlemagne's going to find that clip of you when we will, we will. Fuck you. You are, you are fucked, Donnell. I'm getting word from the streets. I was being nice, son. I knew it was something different, son. I'm sure this happened.

I didn't want to get bad like Dave Chappelle, nigga. Donnell, I'm sure this happened before in Korea. Stop touching me, son. I'm sure in Korea as an 18-year-old boy, this is a memory coming back to you. That's usually how black guys react. It's pretty. Juanita, have you been with a black man before? No.

Okay. Are you just saying that so that he doesn't find you and kill you? No, it was raised right. I'm just kidding. I mean, that's a joke! It's a joke! No, I have been, I've been with one. He was half.

Okay, he was half. Half a black. Okay. My career is all over. It's over, nigga. It's over. Oh, it's over. And I knew it, nigga.

No, Donnell, this is... I knew that back was too big, son. Rob Schneider. It's not just that your career is over. This is also an opportunity to educate other black men tonight. You have to look at it that way. Oh shit.

It's never too much. Black guys out there, you know what to do. It's between the chest and the chin. It's called an Adam's apple. If they have one, they have something else. That is true. This is a special moment for you people, so take that for what it's worth.

It's worth a lot. That's so nice. It is. It is. The more you know. Juanita, Juanita, Juanita. An interesting set tonight. Let's just talk about your...

Tony is really over for me, Tom. It's okay. I know. I know, Donnell. But it's all right. You can pick yourself up, you know? You know, who knows? It's 2025. Maybe the streets will forgive you.

Maybe they'll go, wow. You know, Donnell, you know? a chance out there. He's a progressive, progressive person. I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure when Chappelle sees this, he's just... Sunderfaga, oh! Donnell. You might like how it feels.

Donnell. Shut the fuck out! Stop touching me! Donnell, I want you to emotionally pull the balls aside. No! Can you do that for me? I think you can, Donnell. You can actually spread them out on one on each side.

Shut the fuck out! Donnell, we're here for you. Shut up! Yeah, it's okay. It's gonna be... Can I get out for me? Can I get a tissue? Oh my goodness. You tricked Donnell and that is gonna be...

He didn't trick me! I mean, she didn't trick me! I mean he to see whatever, nigger. You're fucked. We will, we will fuck you. Yeah. We will fuck you. Oh, yeah.

He's mad at the band. We will fuck you. Oh my God. I see that on your next tour, Donnell. tour, Donnell. Someone's got entrance music. Someone's coming out to that on this next special.

How exciting. Oh, now that your glasses are on, maybe you can see more clearly. Yeah, it's exciting. Ashie Larry meet Ashie Harry. It's very exciting. So, Juanita, how has life been going? Let's talk. Great. Great.

What's been going on with you? I have a show on Tyler, Texas, and getting booked a lot more since the show. So that's fun. I moved in with, like, a really awesome comic. He's awesome. Just loves him good. I love it.

I didn't say I would do it. I said they would do it, Tom. No, I didn't say that. We will. That's not what I said. We will fuck you. That's not what you would do it. There you go.

There's Red Band trying to save you right now. So, oh, the last time you were on the show, Juanita, with the great Jimmy Carr was here, and we found out about whiskey hole. Yes. Now, that guy's going through a divorce now. Oh, the guy that you had whiskey hole with? Yeah, I didn't realize I said his full name.

Oh, shit. Oops. Wow. My God. Does that make it easier for someone to find them if you say their whole name? Yeah. Yeah, if you're a Turkish-Australian, a little specific.

Oh, my God. We're learning a lot of things this evening. Yes, we are. Wow. So his wife found out about that from someone sending her a clip or something? Yeah, but he told me he was single when I met him because I asked him. I was like, do you have a girlfriend? Do you have a wife?

He said, no. Yeah, it's a problem. So I accidentally had sex with him. Oh, my God. And now this is a crazy question. Was he black or white? No, he was Turkish. So he was like brown kind of.

It was in the area, she's saying. Shut the fuck up, Bob. It was black adjacent. It's true. His dick was. Wow. It's over for me, Tony. It really is.

Oh, it's going to be great. I thought this was the comeback, Tony. And I'm right where I started when I walked up the first time. Oh, you're a legend now. Now you're up. I can just open for you if you want. Would you say Juanita?

I said, I can open for you if you want. Oh, yeah, that's what he wants. It'll just fix everything. Open her ass. Oh, yeah. She'll open for you, Donnell. Shut it, I am. So progressive.

Better than, can you, Donnell only likes openers that look exactly like him. Can you, uh, all tan. Juanita. Uh, anything else crazy going on in life that we should know about? Oh, I am, I have an impression prepared for you. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right.

So this is, um, it's Charlie Plainmew from There Will Be Blood, uh, explaining birthday pizzas, the Grimaldi's. So we get our birthday pizza like every year. Well, the thing is that we used to give out the birthday emails for free, but now you have to download an application. Yeah, but we get it

like every year. You'll get no birthday pizza! Wow. Was that a good? You know what's interesting? Now I can see the Adam's apple now, right? All it took was for her to do a spot on Daniel Day Lewis for Donnell to realize.

Hell yeah. There will be blood. Or when they fuck you, Juanita, it's called There Will Be Mud. No, I prepared, fellas. Truffle butter. Fun times, you've been on this show numerous times. It wasn't your best set, but always a legendary interview with you.

We love your sense of humor. Proof that some trans people can roll with the punches. That's another appearance by the great Juanita. to everybody. It's a stereotype. Some people say, oh yeah. We do have a golden ticket winner here, ladies and gentlemen. This guy's only been on the show one other time

when he famously came on with children's books for adults and changed his life forever. This is the second ever appearance from Charlie Mac, everybody. Make some noise for Charlie Mac. First off, I want to thank the Kill Tony Universe. Y'all really did change my life, you know? Thank you, yes. Now I'm able to buy a lot of lavish shit.

Like I just bought a new $1,500 shelf. I put all my clothes on it and everything. Some of y'all know it as a treadmill. I've never touched it. I don't know what the fuck it does. Last time I touched it was to balance myself to put my shoes on. I don't know. It's crazy.

Now my ex let me have sex with her again. Yes. Yes. I like it because she likes the role play. You know, I'd be hitting it from the back. You know, I throw on her wig. She's throwing my CPAP. Y'all didn't ever have CPAP sex.

You pep sex. It's like fucking Darth Vader. I'm like, who's in it? She goes, yours. I'm like, damn, Luke, I guess I am your father. Charlie Matt, done it again.

Rob Schneider. Congrats. You're going to make it. You are. You're going to make it. For the rest of your life as a comedian, I mean, the next six years are going to be great for you. No doubt about it.

Charlie, fantastic. You said you did roleplay? What was this scenario? I threw on her wig and she threw on my CPAP. That's not creative. It's not... If you're going to do roleplay, I do roleplay. If you're going to do roleplay, think outside the box.

When I play roleplay, I play plantation. Damn. Ooh, one-e to get back up here. Is it okay if we laugh at this? Are we okay? We're all okay? We're okay. No, we're good.

Okay, good. This was not the best decision. Charlie Mack, the last time you were on the show, You told us about your adult children's books and I guess it blew up, right? Oh, hell yeah. They start calling me the hood Dr. Seuss. I love it.

Yeah. Now I have to make up new names, you know? So I'm thinking of a couple. I was thinking of the crack hair from Crumble Street. Pookie in the stimulus check. You know, a bunch of shit like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely.

The Hood, Dr. Seuss. is the only kind of doctor you could be, by the way. Charlie Mack, tell us about your, how your life changed from that, though. Like, what's going on? Oh, white women look at me now. Ooh. Yeah, well, yeah.

But no, I really, I got a world tours. I'm going all through Europe, Tokyo, everywhere. Wow. International House of Pancakes. Yes. My goodness, great. Look at you. Unbelievable, Charlie Mack.

Any plans for when you're over in Tokyo and places? Anything you're really looking forward to doing? Any places you could recommend to Indonesia? Yeah, exactly. There's this one little place. Just remember, poachio-mayo. I'm just looking for the other black people because I don't go nowhere if there's not other black people there.

Okay, well, have fun in Tokyo. How the fuck do you get on this show then? Man. It's like 12 black people in this whole audience, and I'm four of them. Charlie Mack, you are fantastic. Where do you live again? I live here in Austin, about seven minutes away.

Oh, sweet. Yeah. Hell yeah. And what do you do for fun when you're not writing books or performance stand-up? Do you have any side fun? The best thing that I really do, I really do if I'm not doing anything is I'm on daddy duty you know I respect

yes me and my three year old we be kicking at rob and she sell crack we do a lot of fun shit get the money son yeah we got to start a family empire can we laugh at that one is that our yes okay I think rob Greek black selling crack is also what would have been on Donnell's dick if he fucked Juanita. I got some of the guy... Don't laugh! Do not laugh! I got Daddy, duty.

I got Daddy duty. Stay black, don't laugh. We all we got, bro. Rob is going to breed ferrets after this show. Oh my God, Charlie. You're fantastic set. You've done it again. Thank you.

You're a rock-solid comedian. We're excited at. have you and have you back on again soon. Charlie Mack, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna keep it moving here. We're keeping it moving. Back to the bucket we go. Ladies and gentlemen, takes a while for Charlie

to get off stage, there he goes. Holy shit, that's a big boy. Make some good, man, you can't. That's a huge bitch. Yes, add to. Make some noise for your next bucket pool, ladies and gentlemen. It is Michael Hines, everyone.

Michael Hines. Next on Bill Tone. Wow, this is exciting. Believe it or not, this is the second most exciting thing to happen to me today, though. I saw a UFO on the way over here. An unidentified flying object. Really, it was a non-binary person

jumping off the bridge over there. But they didn't identify as anything. Went from, she heard, She her to see her later She they them to she her later You know what I'm saying? Yeah It's more of an unidentified falling object

But for a second there For a second Ozzy Osbourne's finally in hell Do you think it's everything He dreamed it would be? I'm sure it's not that bad though With all the scientists there They gotta have an air condition by now

You know, it's probably a party I voted for Trump guys and I regretted it week one week one he took away my food stamps what the fuck he said I got to work 40 hours a week to get him if I work 40 hours a week I wouldn't need fucking food stamps

Michael Heinz fantastic set edgy funny current I loved it that's great you've been on this show once before right twice Tony twice fantastic Please tell me Juanita was the one that jumped off the bridge.

I wish, I wish, Donnell. That's the only thing you were safe. Donnell, you did my favorite episode of Killed-Toney. What was that, Mike? Donnell was on my favorite episode to kill Tony of all time. Which one was it? You don't know? I love you, Donnell. You're my favorite.

my favorite. Look what you've done! I know. I know. Rob Schneider. I've learned that laughing at the suicides of nine non-binary people are back. Yes.

That's what I've learned. No doubt about it. There's so much coming. You've got to hang out in Austin more often. You'd really love it here, Rob. By the way, Trump wasn't taking away your food stamps. He was just making sure that you weren't buying

sodas and fucking Reese's pieces with it. Clearly. Yeah, guilty as charged. No doubt about it. Michael, remind us, how long you've been doing stand-up? About two and a half years, Tony. All of it here in Austin? Yes, sir.

Fantastic stuff. What do you do for work? I'm more realtors assistant. Okay. Open houses and stuff. Don't tell her. Wow. I don't think they like you, Tony.

What? I don't think they like you. So if they know I'm here, I might be done for. Realtors don't like me? Those two. Well, they can go fucking go fuck themselves. Who gives a fuck?

I'm sure there's so much fun to work for. You wouldn't believe it, Tony. I would. I know what people that don't like me, I know what their mental health is like. Rob Schneider. You don't care about us. Can I say something about you?

Can I say something about you? Okay, yes, you can. No, I don't. I watch the show, but I don't watch the show. But everybody else come up here, they're, like, super nervous and, like, sweating. You seem so composed. And I want to say this, you just feel like a natural, man. Like, in a short period of time, you hit enough jokes.

And even in your interview, you was likable, you was personable. And you did it in a short period of time, man. Thank you. I see, I see a, I really see a future for you, man. Thank you. A realtor's assistant. That's just my question, because in my experience, you know, Even a half-retarded person could be a real estate person, so...

You cannot say that, Rob! A half-a-relater assistant could be a full retard, I'm thinking. Yeah. Could that? Well, she pays me $30 an hour, so if I do two 10-hour days on open houses, I have the rest of the week for comedy. Yeah. There you go. Well, you're gonna do great. You're very funny.

Very funny. Hell yeah. Fantastic stuff. Did you get a big joke book last time you were on? I did not. You got a small joke book? Yes, sir. you, buddy. You're getting an upgrade. There he goes. A fantastic minute and a great return

for Michael Heinz, everybody. We are flying through it now. We are cooking. I got to say, I got to say, normally I don't do this during an episode, but I got to tell you guys, this is one of my favorite episodes of the year so far. I'm going to hand for Donnell and Rob Schneider. I had a feeling that this chemistry would be crazy and wild. Okay. The irony of that is one of your favorite episodes, and it's not a good feeling for me right now. Wow. Donnell got canceled tonight.

I talked about fucking the trans, whatever you call it, this shit, it's over for me. No. Austin has been really weird to me. No. If I can appear to be racist right now and interrupt you. No, this is really, it's really been fun. I enjoy this.

What a great, well, how about this audience here? Yep. We're having fucking fun. We're playing with fire, and we're going to keep it moving. Ladies and gentlemen, your next bucket pool, one minute uninterrupted, going to James Carrigan, everybody. James Carrigan. I went out with this girl a couple times,

and then the other day she sent me a text and started with the phrase, after some reflection. I didn't read the rest of the text. I didn't read... Because nothing good ever happens when a woman texts you after some reflection. It's never, after some reflection, I think we should try anal. That has never happened in the history of women or anal.

It's always, after some reflection, I realize we're two different trees going in two different directions, and you're poor. Now, if a man sends you a text that starts with the phrase after some reflection, it's a picture of his penis. Followed up by We Should Triangle. Big dick, big dick, dick, dick pit crowd in here, no. I've never been dick, I've never been big on dick,

I'm drunk, sorry. I've never been big on dickpicks myself. All right, that came out wrong. All right. Thank you guys so much. My name is James. James Carrigan. Hey.

A fantastic set. Is this your first time on the show? Yes, sir. Welcome, welcome. How long you've been doing stand-up? It'll be 11 years in September. Wow, I love it. You perform like a guy that's been doing it 11 years.

That's great stuff, James. Great stuff. Even though you were tripping on words. You got a lot of big laughs. Yeah, I was just drinking over there and playing chess with this homeless girl, and it was cool. I didn't think I was going to get a pool and they were like, you need to go now.

I was like, all right, cool. Amazing stuff, Rob. I will say your timing, though, was fantastic, but you also had a chance instead of saying you've been doing it 11 years, if you would have said 11 months, everybody would fucking went nuts. Well, that would be lying, Mr. Shrine.

Talking to Rype Schneiderman. Fuck, God damn. This is crazy. Right? Ryan, this is fucking safe. Very, very funny. And you started out really, strong. That's a really funny new

I'm telling you, you had the audience and you never lost them until you couldn't figure out how to end it. Yeah. Well, I know how to end it. I'm just... And then all the goodwill was gone forever. Oh, thank you. No, no, no. No, you did great. And it was really funny, and you really made me laugh hard. Thank you. Congrats. Great stuff.

Thank you. I don't know what to say other than you was funny as shit. I really believe you look at dickpicks. Just once you brought that up, you was like, uh-uh-da-ha-ha. Juanita, come back. James, what do you do for work? I actually sell air conditioning.

They're playing the other one where the air conditioner was broken. You work for them? I don't work for AirCo. I work for A-R-S. We do air-conditioning. I'm sorry, I'm nervous. Air-R-S. What?

Air-R-S? A-R-S, American Residential Services. Wow. Ars. Yeah. Ars. Odd name for a company. Yeah.

Arshole. Yes. Sure, I guess. You put in the ACs, you do everything? You're looking for comfort? Check out our arse. We'll cool you down. I actually bother people at Home Depot.

That's what I do. I go up and talk to people at Home Depot. That's my job. Okay. How drunk are you right now? What exactly did you drink before this? The biggest opportunity of your 11-year career. Tell us what you've been sipping on today.

I find this all so intriguing. Nothing like watching 11 years of hard work. and all of a sudden, and here you are, you're doing great, and you're handling it well, but I can tell you are fucked up. If this was not kill Tony, if this was a random show where it's like a special show where you pull out drunk people and it's a DUI checkpoint, you'd be fucked right now.

You would be so fucked. I mean, it's incredible. So tell us, just honestly, truthfully, what exactly did you drink today? It was just vodka soda. Okay. But I had the pitchers. I had the pitchers.

You had a pitcher. Yeah. Okay. They sell them next door. You should go check it out. Yeah. No, we have alcohol here. Well, I'm just saying it's a good deal.

Okay. Yeah. All right. No more reviews, don't you? So you had two pitchers? I had two pitchers and a beer, yes. Two pitchers of vodka soda and a beer. That's an interesting.

Ladies and gentlemen. That's an interesting choice. After two pitchers of vodka, you go like, hmm. I'm not, it's not hitting me. Where, don't they esta mi Cerveza, motherfucker. This hasn't worked. That's when you get your money back

for those fucking pitchers. Juanita! That is... Save us, Juanita. Rob, Rob brings up an unbelievably great point. You had the beer after the two pitchers

of vodka? God damn. I didn't think I was going to get pulled. That's what everybody says. That's what everybody says, especially when you're that blacked out. My goodness gracious. And wow, do you normally drink this much?

No, but I don't normally come here, so, you know, that sounds good. You don't really... How many times do you think you've signed up before if you had to go? I think this is my fourth time. Okay. Yeah.

It's pretty fucking good. Yeah. I appreciate you. Should we do a special segment called D-Y Checkpoint right now for the first time ever? What do they have people do? What's one of the things? You have to stand up on like one foot, like right? And what do you do?

Is there any police officers here by any chance? Out of the police. Can we get a police officer up here? Yeah! For the first time in the show's history, I would like to make some noise for a real APD police officer.

This is Oscar, everybody. Yes. Yes. Oscar, this is what I love about Austin. Rob, when I was in L.A., you couldn't find a fucking police officer. If they're lighting a grocery store on fire,

you couldn't find a fucking police officer. Here, I'm like, hey, let's try a little. Oh, fuck. There's one. right there. This is unbelievable. Oscar, Donna, what is it? Are you scared because there's a police officer that's supposed to go?

When I was in the military when I was in the Air Force, that was my job. I was a police officer. Oh, wow. You never mentioned that you were in the military. I was the worst police officer. I made zero arrests in four years. Wow. Yeah, that's true story. I was a military police officer. Wow. You used to choke yourself. Shut the fuck. Oh, red band.

Red band. Red band, you can't... You dirty motherfucker. Red band, you can't ask things like that. No, that was funny, though. Did you used to choke yourself? Let's check in with Rob... I just peeped myself one time.

Let's check in with Rob Schneider here. I still can't get over the beer after the two pitchers. I mean, what's the next thing next to it? Was there a gun at the name? Not tonight. Where did you get that drink from? Some guy just...

Give that back. Get the fucking drink back. You guys are crazy. All right, Oscar, if you don't mind doing us a favor, this is the first time in the history of the show we've done anything like this before. Thank you for playing along. How about one more time for Oscar?

Step on up to that microphone real quick that he has. Give him the mic there, James. Give Oscar the mic. Would you mind just giving a quick little DUI test to James Carrigan and talk right into the tip of that mic? Just take us through. So pretend like we're not here, and you just pulled this guy over, and you got him out of his car. Let's see what happens here.

James. James, where are you coming from? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. No, do not. Sit the fuck down, these assholes.

All right, I need another microphone. Do we have one under the table? We have one under the... Where under the table, exactly? What's that? Very far right. Is there one more? There it is.

There's one more? Yeah, we got one more hidden there. Oh, this is so fuck. This is podcast history, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. James, he asked you a fucking question. I'm actually coming from a comedy club.

How much have you had to drink tonight? Two drinks. She's right, I mean... Yeah. Honest. Just not specific. The specificity of the officer's question opened up some vagaries,

and James took advantage of it. Advantage, James. Continue. How big were those two drinks? There was like a shot each. Again, slightly vague. Shots could be fucking huge, apparently. Where are you headed to?

I'm just going home. That's all I'm doing. Oh, yeah. Such a suspicious answer. That's all I'm doing. Not doing anything else? Just driving home. James, you seem way too familiar with this experience. This happened four months ago.

You got a DUI four months ago? You got out of it? Oh, you ain't getting out of this one, motherfucker. Oscar, let's do it. Fucking hit him with it. What do you think? Oh, if I get arrested? By the way, let's just take note.

Can I just say, when Oscar talks into the microphone, I've been doing this show for 12 and a half years. I've never seen anyone so commanding and clear. It's like a specific type of police fucking, like, where are you coming from? I just have to say this may seem racist e but

you're drinking tonight we should still arrest don't know we should let's do the black white version of it what would it be what would it be

all right yo get the fuck out of that car black lives matter nigga I ain't do shit this went from DUI to Real quick.

Rob Schneider's moving to Austin. I can tell. We're having fun tonight. We're getting them. We got another one. Oh, yeah. We're doing it. Oscar, you cool with this, right?

Are we good? Okay, Oscar. Oh, I love it. Fucking fan. How about a hand for Rob over here? The man, we love him. We have the best squad. here at the mothership. Can you give them a little test for me? Can we see a little something?

What would you have them do if you wanted them to fail real quick? Stand with your feet together. Hands down by your side. Look at my finger. I'm going to move my finger from left to right. Keep your head still. You understand? Oh, shit. Oh. Oh. What do you think, Oscar? What's the verdict?

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oscar. You're not like cops, do you? Oscar, you're leaving here with a big joke book. Make some noise for Oscar. The APD, the greatest police department on planet Earth. James, you had a fucking fantastic set.

You rolled with the punches every step of the way. You are truly an 11-year comedy veteran, and you have the jokes for it. You have the stage presence for it. Here's a big joke book. Sign up. We want to see more of you. Come back, James Kerrigan.

Wow. Wow. The first ever. DUI Checkpoint in Kill Tony history. He's getting handcuffed. We got a new segment. We got a new segment. Oh my God.

I didn't even know that was possible. I know, right? I mean, what other show in the world has a serious ass police officer just waiting in the fucking helms? I mean, unbelievable. That was the best. You know, it's great.

He's going to have to keep his car parked outside and not drive home. Yeah. Oh, he's fucked. But Tony, he was giving him the test, look it at me. It's awful. It is. It's going to be James Carrigan, Donnell in the back of the police car, and Juanita.

That's going to be a long drive to the station. Stop it. Donnell's going to get a... What the fuck? Don't do that, son. Don't do that, son. Don't do that, son. Don't do that.

Don't do that. Don't do that, son. Black Lives Matter. Don't do it. What an episode. We're going to keep it moving here. We're getting there. We're coming around the corner. Christopher Nolan, Bong Joon Ho, Sean Baker. They have all won the Academy Award for Best Director. What else do they have in common? They all got their start at the slam dance film festival. Just like us. Hi, I'm Jana Gallagher. And I'm Michael Gallagher. And we're launching the slam dance First Film Podcast. It's a weekly interview series where we sit down with your favorite filmmakers to get a mini masterclass in the secrets to making your first feature film. On the Slame Dance First Film podcast, you will listen to guests like filmmaker Sean Baker, the writer and director

of Anora, teach you how to make a movie for $3,000 with a two-person crew. Or listen to the Russo brothers, directors of Avengers Endgame, teach you about how melding minds with your collaborators can create exponential success. Subscribe to the Slam Dance First Film podcast for free. on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening now. Your next bucket pool, ladies and gentlemen, this lady, very funny. She's been on this show before. I'm excited to see a new minute from Sherry Besedji, everybody. The return of Sherry Besedji.

Thank you. Thank you. I am originally from Iran. Yeah, where women traditionally don't have dicks. Yes. No! Just moustaches. Yeah.

You know what the safe word is for Middle Eastern women? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hashtag, not all lives matter. Keeping it real. I have a friend who's so obsessed about the size of her boyfriend's dick. She's so happy. I mean, do women who care about size?

Do they have, like, a measuring tape in their, you know, nightstand every time a new guy comes along, they're like, oh, let's measure that. They'll go, oh, hush. Ooh. You know who I know for sure has a measuring tape? No, no, not me, not me. Kim Kardashian.

What do you think she uses? DeWalt, Stanley, or the circumference of her mouth? Sherry Vesegi has done it again. Schneider. Sherry. I just want to say, I look forward to your first tour in Iran when you get beaten to death.

It's going to be special. Absolutely. Normally when a comedian... Very funny, very funny. That first joke out there, fucking killed me. It's just really, really funny. It's just putting more of those jokes together and boom. That's really, really

funny. Very special. Thank you. It is true what Rob says. If you ever do a show and I Iran, you're going to be the first, not the first comedian to get stoned after a show, but in that type of way, no doubt about it. I have a question. Can I interject now?

Of course you can. Yeah, you're a guest. How long have you been doing comedy? About two years. This round, I used to do comedy years ago. Can I say this? Like, in this business where it's all about ageism and I'm not trying to be disrespectful anything. For you to have been doing comedy

for two years, right? And have the energy, like all these people that are probably younger than you. What that tells me is that you had a time of your life, you did something, and comedy was your passion. Am I correct?

Yes. And you said to yourself, you know what? Fuck it. I'm going to do it. Yes. I'm going to do it again. Your energy, the jokes, is funny. And then in this situation

where it's so competitive, it was all about, you're not relatable, you're old school, whatever. And I'm not trying to call you old, but I'm just saying that your energy, everything, your jokes. And I can look at your eyes

and tell that it's something you want to do and you say, fuck it, I'm going to do it. So with that said, I really appreciate what you do. And I just want to say, I think that was a black man hitting on you. It's not the first time. Let's walk off. We're out of here.

Let's go. We're getting dick chewed tonight. Iran, meet, I walked. No, I'm going to just add to that. I've seen, like, these comments have come up. I'm not knocking nobody. I've seen the desperation of nervousness, but you feel so fucking calm.

Like, this is what the fuck I was supposed to be doing. And that resonates with me. He's trying to fuck you. I mean, you remember that roleplay plantation? Do you know how hard you get fucked if somebody fuck you for their freedom? I'm gonna let that marinate. I'm gonna let that marinate.

And you can use the inward. I'm gonna let that marinate. It might be time for another re-lotioning of these elbows. Something's got a hole on to me lately. Sherry, how's life been? Tell us more about your real life. You know, ever since I've been on Killed Tony, you know, I get hit on on Instagram, you know.

But the quality's gone up and age has come down. I love it. Yeah. Have you taken advantage of any of these situations? I have not, but, you know, all these young guys trying to show me their best minute. You are so funny. I love you. You are fucking adorable.

You really are. You really are. What are some goals for you, Sherry? You are hilarious. How much time do you think you have all together? A lot. Not in life. Right.

Not in life. I give it about 80 months. The clock is ticking. I need to hurry up with this for you. But as far as the set goes, like what's the longest you could do? I think I can do 20 minutes. Okay. But I have more material.

I just need an opportunity to do. my material. Absolutely. Well, if you come down to the plantation, I can take care of that. You're going to get it. You're going to get that. Great job tonight. It really is.

They all said it, and I've said it every time you've ever been on. You're so charismatic. You're delivering and executing your material. So goddamn likable. It's unbelievable. Sherry, you've done it again. Red Band. Sherry, I would love to have you back on The Secret Show.

Thank you. She just got booked on a real show. This Thursday, from the Sunset Strip Comedy Club, Sherry Beseji. How about one more time for Sherry, everybody? Okay. All right. We have another return of a legendary performer here.

This man famously is part of one of the most viral clips in Kill Tony history. When he said that he, was molested multiple times as a kid. And Dr. Phil famously said, because he wasn't paying attention, I said, Dr. Phil. And Dr. Phil said, who was your favorite? He does a podcast with Tony Hawk.

You know him. From the Hawk and the Wolf. This is a minute from Jason Ellis, everybody. The return of Jason. What's up, motherfuckers? So yeah, I'm a f***. I know what you're thinking. I don't look that gay.

Well, pitching me naked with a guy's penis in my mouth. Yeah, I know. That's it every time. But I'm not gay anymore. I retired from that shit. Fuck that shit. It's hideous. But because I've done gay shit, people think that I'm weaker.

Like, that guy's a pretty big guy over there. Just so you know, dude, I can fucking suck your dick and there wouldn't be shit you could do about it. So how am I weak? Some other people might be like, I don't like your gay talk, Jason. Maybe you're going to jump me in the parking lot. I am a professional fighter. I will kick you in the head, knock you out, and suck your dick.

I'm not finished. I'll film it. And then I'll put it on the internet. And then you'll be gay, but not gay, just like me. And you wake up, be like, oh, no, gay, bro. I'm like, pretty sure this video says otherwise. Thank you. Wow.

Jason Ellis, with the best minute he's done on this show. What a special episode this is. Somehow, I'm scared to death and turned on at the same time. I feel both soft and hard right now. Absolutely incredible performance. Jason Ellis. Jason did my podcast. Remember that?

He did my podcast. and I'm looking at him, I didn't know that he was a f***, right? No, that's what you said. No, no, no, that's what you said. But I'm telling you, this is a scary moment. Like, you know, I mean, whatever. But. Oh, my God.

Well, you said, no, let me say this, son. Apparently the word f***ed is back, people. He said it, and I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean like that. I didn't know it didn't mean anything. Hey, man, I paid my dues to say that word. It's so good. But the shit is like, this is a black man.

This would make me nervous. He was like, just I'll fuck you up and suck your dick. Okay, that's horrible, but I could do it. But it could have been the other side. I'll beat your ass and fuck you. I was like, oh, you can't do that. Oh, my God. You like that shit.

You might be gay than me, dude. As someone- What I'm saying is, the black guy's interrupting me again. What I'm saying is, it's true. There it goes. That's not racist. No, they can't be racist, so we all know. They can jump in whenever they fucking want

and demand whatever they want, apparently. What I tried to say is that when I met you was a guest of my podcast, you was dope as shit. I forgot what we talked about, and I didn't really give a fuck about sexuality thing. I didn't know it, but you was cool. Thank you for doing my podcast. What the fuck?

That's what you interrupted, Rob, to say. Thank you for doing my podcast. You know what? We're going to bring Juanita about it. up here right now. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I think. No one even remembers the one. You're being mean to me, Tony. Okay. You didn't see other day you told me how much you love me. Let's check. I do. No, the other day you was like this.

I remember when we first met our connection. Yeah. You said all this and now you just leaving out, leave me out here for people to, you don't give a fuck about me. No, Donnell, we love you. I can tell you have that look in your eye. I've seen this before. I'm going to crash out, nigga!

I got 10 misrepher show before I go to the bathroom, niggins, you know. I will say, I can't get it out of my head, but I would like to see you, Jason, beat the shit out of Donnell while he's fucking Juanita. That is true. That would be the world's greatest threesome. As someone who enjoys non-violent sex... where the ending is not a punch in the face,

but calm in the face, it's different. I just want to say I learned something tonight from you, and I won't sleep well. Thank you. You're welcome, I think. Jason, you are a scary guy. How's it been going on in normal life? Tell us what else is going on.

Yeah. Better than ever. I love it. Tell us about it. I got a girlfriend, she's got a vagina. She was born with one. Wow. Look at that.

Thank you. Thank you. I'm confused. He was gay, now he's no longer gay. I was never gay. I was just a sex addict. Oh, okay. I just to fuck everybody.

Okay. And like when you fuck a lot of women. When you say that. The other one looking at me, fucking sketchballs. But when you try to fuck a lot of ladies in one day, it's a lot of talking. talking, you know? I know that. So, dudes just

suck it and leave. It's pretty convenient. Yeah. The only bad thing about it is it is pretty gay. Yeah. It's in this moment that I realize I'm on the wrong fucking show. This is the moment? I think it might

I think it might be time for the audience may need a shower at this moment. Jason, what's the gayest? thing you ever did. That's fucked up. I'm trying to move Possett, like the dicks of Christmas past.

But I guess, like... Whatever you can imagine. I love that the horn players have a song for this. The gayest thing that you've ever done. What's the gayest thing that you've ever done? It's the gayest thing. Jason's ever done. Everyone wants to know.

Gayest thing. I know how it ended. So fucking gay, we want to know. I rollerbladed once. Yo, that's so fucking. I used to roll a blade in Brooklyn. You're fucking gay than me, dude. You're fucking gayer than me.

That's insane. Sit back down. You can't tell a black man sit back down, son. You can say take your seat, but you can't say to Well, if I tell you to take the seat, you're going to leave, would take the actual seat. I think one question that the audience is thinking is what is the tattoo that's on your dick?

That is a good question. That's the last spot. I got one more gap, and that's it. I haven't decided what I'm getting on there, but everything, I just want one tattoo, and there's a few gaps, and one of them is my dick. Oh, so there's no tattoo on the dick. That's interesting, right?

It's also pretty gay that you guys give a shit about that. Yeah. Hey, believe it or not, believe it or not, they asked the question. Believe it or not, this isn't even the gayest part of the show. Donnell took the gay cake earlier. We will, we will fuck you. Oh, you're never gonna flip it down, buddy.

Oh my God. They're gonna come up to you at the airport singing that one, baby. Man, I can't believe he didn't see that she was not originally she. Yeah, even Jason Ellis is like, yeah, Donnell, you're gay. We will fuck you. Oh, my God. You sang it with such fucking passion.

No, I did, son. He did. No, but black guys think anything white or white adjacent is hot, and that's the fact. Right, fair enough. That's what was proved tonight. Oh, God. Yeah. Stuff's got a hole on me lately.

Guys, man. Jason. How many times did I tell you I'm no good at? All right, go ahead. All right. All right. Jason, that was by far the best minute you've ever done on the show. So funny, so great.

Such a great set. Again, it's my favorite part of the show is literally watching people get better in front of our eyes. One more. time. Anything else do you want to plug? You got the Hawk and the Wolf? That's close. That's shut down. Oh. Yeah, Tony. Tony's not as good as skateboarding as he used to be, so he has to, like, get a job. I just like saying that in case he sees it. You're fucking old and you suck, Tony. That's Tony Hawk. He's talking about.

Sorry, wrong guy. But I'm a comedian on the road, so the jasonelis.com is where all my tour dates live. Perfect. Make some noise. One more time for Jason Ellis. He is gay The gayest thing We want to know What's the gayest thing Hey All right

He taught me how to fight on my podcast He taught you how to fight It has something He taught me how to fight Not the fight but he gave me Suggestions on how to handle people And I really appreciate the fact That you know my podcast

It's okay It's struggling whatever But he pulled up and showed me love Well it's great that you know how to fight so you'll be able to get Juan Eda off or I'm on top of you later. How much time before the show's over? We're going to do.

Don't touch me, Rob. I'm sorry. You were down with the man, Rob. No, I'm just, I have to cancel being on your podcast, I guess. I'm sorry. Call me back, though, when the numbers go up and then I want to go. But thank you for being

honest. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to make it the final bucket pool of the night. Make some noise for Tom Anderson, everybody. Tom Anderson. Oh, yeah, mothership. So I'm going through a bit of a transformation.

I'm getting fatter, slowly, and there's nothing I can really do about it to stop it. So I'm leaving it to my government. I'm going to put it in the hands of RFK Jr., our Secretary of Health, to stop me. And I don't know what it is about him. I really trust him. He's got, like, a lot of battle scars, health-wise.

You know, he's got that voice, and he had a brain worm, which is, I think that's a disease that kills wizards. I don't really know how you get through that. I'm so curious how that doctor's visit sounded, you know? He's like, doctor, my fucking head hurts. And then he's looking at the chart. He's like, oh, well, it appears you've got bugs in your mind. We need to get those out.

So I can only really think of one solution, Mr. F. Kennedy. We're going to have to blow your head off. A little too close to home, I know. Tom Anderson. Lots of laughs. I could hear them over Donnell talking in my ear. Shut the fuck out! Tony, I didn't come here for this.

They don't know the history, Tony. Can we break down the history? Yeah. Be honest. During the pandemic, when you move your shit here, nobody wanted to come on your podcast. Because they were scared to catch COVID.

Am I lying? Well, let me tell you, they would come here, they would do roguer shit, they would like, fuck it, I'm out of here. You asked me, Donnell, can you come? I did.

You, shut the fuck up. I did. I don't know how to say. I don't know how to say Amelais even, shut the fuck out. Please help him be more interested in for Madison Square Guard. I'm gonna be racist and interrupt the black man. This is what they don't know. You call me very different.

In your voice, she was like, You said, Donnell, could you come and do my pocket? I said, you know I don't fuck with that shit. I'm too sensitive. I would crash out. Did I not say that? Yes. And I sat here.

And we didn't have this desk. You had... You're right. You didn't have this band, son. You're right. We had a tablecloth, and it was on a wobbly table. We did have the same exact band. Okay, sorry.

I know, I would have... You know all y'all look alike, son. But listen, it's on... Let Rob jump in for one second. I would have done his show then, but I still wouldn't have done your shows now. That's awesome. Just because the number of you... You admitted that you did.

Imagine the number of viewers once they see him hit on Juanita. I mean, it's going down. I didn't hit on Juanita. I had a misunderstanding what Waiita. You had a Mr. Understanding with Juanita. You thought it was a misunderstanding. That was a Mr. Understanding. Tony, let's do this.

That's a fucking great joke. Let's just do this. And this is a thing. This, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. A Mr. Understanding is like one of the greatest jokes I've ever done in my life. It's all moving so quick.

People didn't even notice. No, that was funny. This is what these people don't understand. I, it's not time to joke. It's time to be serious. We're gonna get some, we're gonna. Don't touch me, Rob, I'm being serious. We're gonna get some Adam's apple juice

for him over here, please. I was there for you. I was there for you. Tony, I was here for you. I showed up. Look at me, motherfucker. You said, I was there for Tony. And it was in a time where nobody was there for Tony.

Just made a snot rocket coming out of my nose. Let me get this. And you said, Donnell, would you show up for me? And I said, as a friend, I would show up for you. And I did the show. I was here for two and a half hours. He did the show. He did the show.

It wasn't popular No one wanted to do it I'm a tip Donnell took the time To come down to come down to come down Even though he wasn't gonna benefit in any fucking way He still came down And he never he never never never never never never Never let Tony forget it.

Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Thank you. Wow. And I'll tell you why. Ah, I, ah, I, ah, I, ah, I, ah. It's raining back. Oh, I do love.

And you know. Hey, my. Oh. Who the fuck are you? How'd you get up here? Hallelujah! I'm so sorry I walked on out. That was really bad of me.

I'm so sorry. Two hours ago you performed. How did you feel it went? I don't remember. What joke did I do? I have no idea what I said. It was a great song. I think it was interesting basing your whole act

on the health and human Services Secretary. That's different than what else we saw tonight. I will say we have learned a lot from our health secretary that our government has been lying to us. Now it's all coming out. Apparently fruit loops is not good

for you. No fruit in the loops at all apparently. Got my age. Thank you, Robert Kennedy. Junior. What happened to the first one? I didn't read up on him. What happened to him? His daddy. Yeah.

Well, never mind. We ran out of big joke books to give away, Tom, but I'll tell you, you had a fantastic set. Thank you. What do we have for Tom? Anything? That thing, yeah, but that's a big bomb. That's, like, for people, like, bomb in a great way.

We don't really have anything to give you. Why don't you give them a spot on the Secret Show real quick? That'll be great. I'll let me have you on the Secret Show Thursday. Amazing. Tom Anderson, you got a spot on the Secret Show. Thank you. You saved us.

Red band with a big save. Thank you, Tom Anderson. Great stuff. Sign up again. And then we'll talk more. You just have to understand you're on a crazy climax of one of the greatest episodes

in the history of the show. Also, if you want, and you stick around later, there's a gay guy who'll beat the shit out of you after it comes on you. If you want, it's just, I'm saying. It's an option for some of the performers

tonight, if they didn't know. Ladies and gentlemen, what an episode it has been indeed. And there's only one more performer, ladies and gentlemen. But it is not William Montgomery. Let it be known. William is out on vacation tonight. However, there's only one other human

that could possibly end an episode like this. A fucking freak of nature, widely considered, without a doubt, one of the top young rising comedians in the world. Soon to be one of the greatest American comedians. For now, he remains the

Estonian assassin. This is Ari Mati. So, so... When? Are we getting these Waymoes to kill the homeless at night? Robots are supposed to do the jobs we don't want to. I see them driving around all empty.

They should get together in an H.C.B. parking lots. fucking, everybody picks one alley and you just fucking. Brat! Help us out, robots! Or if you want to be like vegan about it, fucking... Get a car full of them, drop them off in Houston, you know what I'm saying? Dude, I am, dude, I moved here a year ago. I used to be like, no, they're all human and snowflakes.

Fuck you. Stop bleeding on my fucking pizza. Dude, the homeless in Austin, every time I see these motherfuckers, they're getting stronger and stronger. They're fucking getting D-vitamine during the day. Going through photosynthesis. They're fucking fasting, they're avoiding social media, they're cold plunging in Lady Bird Lake.

The homeless in Austin are doing everything Joe Rogan talks about. Thank you so much. Wow. Wow. Absolute fucking rock star. I had to watch it in real time, mesmerizing Ari Matty, ladies and gentlemen. What's up, guys? What's up, Rob Schneider?

So good to see you, my friend. So great to see you. And I would tell you, I was fucking dying. You were hilarious. Yeah, I noticed from the corner of my eye. That was awesome. I don't take up a lot of space in people. Stop bleeding on my fucking pizza.

It's such a beautiful image. Because you could see what's happening in the pizza parlor. Yeah. A crazy fucking person comes in and nobody wants to deal with it. You get your pizza and he fucking bleeds on your pizza. Keep Austin Weird. No, you're going to be a gigantic fucking star. Oh, thank you.

Gigantic. Yep. Gigantic. Thank you. And you might get fucked by a crazy guy in the back after, too. I got to say, it's so great to hear Rob get to finish his thoughts completely uninterrupted. It almost seems like,

it almost seems like something's missing, something that's been... It seems almost racist what you just said. It is interesting. A black guy didn't finish the job. Oh, wow. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Enough is enough audience and I've always respected you and I've told you there that comedy that gives motherfuckers an opportunity to go from nobody know to nobody knowing you to superstars and I know what that podcast isn't yours just saying I mean that's very racist I know it meant a lot to me to be here Tony can I tell you some emotional shit no one's ever turned their chair around like that you we were supposed to this is what the fans we were supposed to I want to, I'm seeing a therapist now, right?

Was it back? No, Teddy Swims is my therapist. Okay. And I'm gonna tell you this. This the real shit, I'm gonna be honest. This is the real shit. Rod, I need a moment. Teddy Swims is your therapist, the musician?

Something's got a hole in me lately. I want to say this. Your Teddy can't swims. I don't feel like Obama chef, darling. This is why I want to say. Ooh, Obama shift drive. This is abusive right now. Tony.

It's not nice being interrupted. Right, okay. I learned my lesson. Donnell's not going. I learned my lesson. Can you do this? Can you do this? Yeah, this one.

Tony. Give the man a minute. Can you give me one minute uninterrupted? Yes. Yes, start the clock, Red Bannery, start the clock. If you give me five fucking seconds, uninterrupted. How about that? Is that racist?

Give me it. Give the Filipino man something. This is what I want to say. One minute, uninterrupted. You got it. The clock starts right now. Okay, the real, okay, listen, I was there for you. You was there for me. My podcast, you was there for me.

And the one thing I regret about our relationship is after you deal with that shit with the RNC or whatever, that convention, and you was hot. Everybody, don't say what, nigga, shut the fuck up. No, you was hot. I'm gonna say this is a real shit. It's not a joke.

He was on fire. One thing I regret is because you wanted me to be on the show. He was like, Donnell, let's go put it into this shit, come to the show, right? And I was excited about coming to the show. He was excited. I work with it, but you was hot. You was hot.

When Trump, you was hot with that shit. It is true. Donnell is referencing that 24 hours after the Trump rally when all of the news would not shut the fuck up about me. Donnell was the booked guest. And with 10 minutes before the show started, he told me that he can't be on the show, that the block is too hot.

He can't be associated with me right now. No, I didn't say I couldn't know, I know, I know. No, no, no, no, no, don't boo him. No, no, no, no, no. It's not like that. He is. But that's what he meant. He is.

That's what I mean. That's what I mean. That's exactly what I've been. And I know, I know, I know. I was like this. That was super fucking racist. Yo. I know, I know, I know, I know.

I am in love with Rob. Schneider. Let the record show. I love you, baby. He is you, baby. I love you. And let me say this. Yes. It was the hardest call to make, because we talked about it. And we said, Dee, you could just come up there and walk off. It was the hardest shit. I called my publicist nine times. I said, what if I do this? What if I do this? She said, I don't know if that's a good idea.

I was like, but that's my nigger, right? That's me. That's why the Filipino man just used the N-word on the biggest podcast in the fucking world, in the world. No, I know we having fun, but I just want to tell you this. It's one thing to regret because I was like this, I put somebody's what they, I said, it's not a... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to say this. That was one minute, ooh-hoo.

You sang through my minutes. I just want to say this. All jokes aside, whatever. He just wants to say. Because. He just wants to say. he's gonna say he's about to say he's interrupted while he's saying but I think he's gonna squeeze it in cause he's he's standing up he's over his fucking minute but he's gonna say it and here it fucking comes

I would have to we can do this we hold on hold on you go ahead we can we can count all we want but I'm telling you Go ahead. Getting a taste of your own medicine here. Go ahead. It's whatever. I just want to say this. You can sing whatever. But I'm saying it's the one thing because I said, and I told you, I said, yo, I wanted to be there for you and your show.

I said, but right now it feels like it's going to be political, you know. He was a coward. Go ahead. Go ahead. No, the block was so hot. It's Joe. You guys don't know. I don't blame anybody for not making that episode.

But go ahead. That's what I respect about you. He was a pussy. Okay, hold on. Rob is gonna, I'd love for someone, can we get a sad decision to go through the episode and see how many times Donnell interrupted when Rob had more to say.

And then we will see if Rob actually caught up during this part. No, he destroyed me. Because I think it's gonna be neck and neck. I think you guys are going to break about Nettie even here. I am trying as a black man. Oh, well, in that case. Oh, no, don't do that.

No, don't. I'm trying to have a moment. You're in Texas. Don't say as a black man. You're in Texas. What I want to say is I felt bad because, and this is I respect about you, I said, you said to me, you said, Donnell, I understand. But I understand, you said like, yeah, you got scared, right?

And I was a little nervous about this shit, and I felt bad about it because our relationship is that when you call for me, I pulled up for you. In my little bullshit podcast... We can cut this part out. We're not. It's editable. You just take a little bit and you cut this shit out. An episode still works and it's funny.

This part could go. This part go. Right. This part go. Right. Right. Right. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I want to say this. Yes. I know funny.

We could be funny all the time. You could do that gag all you want. It's still working. And guess what? It's going to continue to work. Yes. Because it's funny. But the point I want to make, whether you know it or not, the thing I felt bad about,

is because when I called you to do my shit, my little podcast, you showed up for me, bro. And that thing that I fucking was mad about is that in that situation, You, I'm telling you, I promise you, when it gets bigger, I'll show up too. You watch. I don't get... You watch. Would I tell you? Get big, quick.

I don't, I don't care about that. No, I don't either. I'm talking about... That's why I'm not going on your show. I'm sorry. We're even now. We're fucking even. Tony, you told me when to chill out.

Can you tell this thing to the chill out? No doubt about it. No doubt about it. You're a legend. I respect that. Isn't it? white guy on the show's named Rob. Isn't this weird? No, this is what I want to say.

I can man it up. I can man up. This is what I want to say, T. This is what I want to say. And I mean that y'all can crack a joke or whatever. But what I'm saying is, what I'm telling you is that I respect you as a friend. Yes. I felt bad that I couldn't show up

then. And I appreciate stop it, Rob, please. Keep going. Keep going. Please, don't do it. Keep going. What I'm saying is I appreciate what you are to comedy. Nobody has a platform like this when you get people opportunities like this. And I apologize that I stick to my guns and be there for you because you always been

in for me. Yo, yo, I mean, after Juanita, people going to think I'm suss. After Juanita, what I want to say? I'm talking post-Wanita. What I want to say is this, Tony, I appreciate our friendship. Yeah. I appreciate what you mean to comedy. I remember when you went through that bullshit when they tried to cancel you and everybody

wasn't fuck with you. You stayed to your guns and you did this shit. And right now, you have one of the biggest fucking shows on fucking whatever. And thank you. The fact that when I called you, I said, bro, I'm trying to come back with your show. And you said, whatever you want to do, Dee. I mean, we can joke whatever. I love you, bro.

Thank you. Dono Rawlings. That's beautiful. You know what? That was so good. I'm giving you a medium-sized joke book. Dono. This is red band on that guy, by the way.

Unbelievable. And let me tell you something. People are gonna say Donnell interrupts, Donnell this, and people make their jokes about Chappelle and this and that. But let me tell you something. The reason why people make the Chappelle jokes about Donnell is because he was on the greatest comedy show of all time. And more than that, if you haven't,

you absolutely have to see Donnell Rawlings live. He's always touring. Donnell Rawlings.com. And the Donnell Rawlings show available everywhere where shows are possibly available because he is a true fucking comedian. Can I say one last thing? He wants to say one more thing. Han Rich, bitch!

The Donnell Rawlings. Talkspace, prize picks, and to govas. How loud can this place get for first-time guest and nominee already for 2025 guest of the year? guest of the year, Rob Schneider. He is on tour at Rob Schneider.com. It has begun. Rob Schneider has entered the Kill Tony universe and there's no going back.

Future Austin resident Rob Schneider, the drawing from Ryan J.E. Belt is in. Guys, he blended in like camouflage. How loud can this place get for one of the greatest comedians in the world? Ari Maddie. Let's see what Chris Rogers cooked up over there. Oh, it's Ari Maddie. Unbelievable.

Rob, is there anything else you'd like to say? Unbelievable first appearance on this show. It's an honor to be here, honestly. And Austin, they said it's the best audiences in the world, and I get it. You guys are the best. Thank you. You are the man, Rob. Schneider. I love it, man.

This is, by the way, the fun fact, this is very rarely happens because I've worked with and met almost everybody, but this is the first time I've ever worked with Rob Schneider in any way, and my God. It's an honor to be here. I love you. Love it first fucking whatever this is. Unbelievable. If you want

I know you can't do it during the show, but Matt Muelling and I've been on tour singing together, and we can put a song together if you want. Yeah, play us out. Play us out. playing us out tonight guest of the year 2025 nominee Rob Schneider thank you to talk space prize picks and to Govis thank you to this audience red band love you guys one two one two three maybe maybe little sister maybe little sister

The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now over. Thursday. Go to sunset strip atx.com for tickets. Thank you.