KILL TONY - #759 - STEVE RENNAZZISI + JOE LIST

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

Joe List, Stephen Rannazzisi, Adam Ray, Ari Matti, Dedrick Flynn,William Montgomery, Hans Kim, D Madness, Michael A. Gonzales, JonDeas, Matthew Muehling, Joe White, Troy Conrad, Tony Hinchcliffe,Brian Redban - RECORDED– 02/23/2026 Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code TONY at https://bluechew.com Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at https://talkspace.com/tony Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/killtony Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm Craig Melvin. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. I've always been a glass half full kind of guy. And now I'm talking to some people who look at the world that way too. Some really fascinating folks who share their defining moments, their triumphs, their challenges. Their stories are funny and quite candid.

So I hope you'll join me each week. And who knows, you might just come away with your own glass hatful. Search Glass Half Full with Craig Melvin from today on YouTube and wherever you get your podcast. Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at Desquod.TV, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out Tony Hinchcliff.com for everything, the golden pony, Tony Hinchcliff. You can also check out ShopSquod.tv for Desquod merch, hats, mugs, whatever, shop squad.

And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Comedy mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Get it for Tony! It's a fucking night of their lives. And everybody, the Kill Tony band. Make some noise for them, huh? You're at the number one live podcast in the world. Brought to you by prize picks, Quo, Shopify, and ZipRecruiter. How are we fucking feel in a night, people, huh? I'm going to watch some comedians try to do comedy tonight.

It's going to be a real hoot, nanny. get started. Here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. You guys ready to start tonight's fucking show or what? Every single week I book two of the funniest people I know in the world this week. No different. This is a special one. Down to the nitty gritty. Just two pure fucking real stand-up comedians. Two of my favorites, two of the best in the world. Make some noise for Joe List and Steve Rann is easy. Here we go. Tonight, everybody. I'm excited about this one.

Joe List has a new special out on YouTube called Small Ball. Welcome back. Joe. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. And one of my favorites since I started, a true comedy store fucking comic. I used to dog sit for him. I used to house sit for him. I thought life was never going to get any better than that.

And we thought you fucked our dog too. The great Steve Rand Azizzi is back. How are you? You guys have done this show before. You know how it works. 300 insane people have signed up for the chance to get pulled out of this bucket. Some of them, some of the most promising talent of the future, of the art form of stand-up comedy. Some of them are completely crazy. In fact, recently we had a guy who's just a stalker of a female comedian who did a minute

just so that he could maybe get to meet her and get closer to her. Anything can happen. Anything can happen. Somehow, it remains the number one live podcast in the world. If I pull their name out of the bucket, they get 60 seconds. Uninterrupted. You know their time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. That means they have to wrap it up then, or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood Bear.

Which just interrupts their set. And then I conduct an interview. Absolutely anything can happen. And the whole thing is improvised. You guys ready to start tonight's fucking show or what? While we go wrangle that first bucket pool of the night, getting us started with a brand new minute, this young lady was discovered here on the show.

She spent some of her last money to get on an airplane from Tampa, Florida to come to Austin, Texas. Live in an arena on Netflix, she got pulled out of a bucket, won a golden ticket in front of the world. Ladies and gentlemen, here with a brand new minute, make some noise for the return of Young, everybody. I'm asking what my type is. I'm really into Arabic, guys. I find them very attractive. I like their thick hair, sharp facial features. Every time I see one on the street, I go up to them,

I say, sir, can you please cover your hair and your skin? You make me feel very lustful. I can't help but want to touch you right now. When they don't comply, I throw rocks of them. See, when I'm rich, I'm going to throw big parties and I'm going to invite a whole bunch of very attractive Arabic male models. So I'll pay you shit in their mouth.

I'm really good at it, you know? I just tell them, hey, Habibi, Habibi. Lay down. Open your mouth. This is my gift for you. It's very halal. Let me show you the Asian squad. And if that...

The great Young ladies are you. Welcome back, Young. Covering the Arabs today. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Got a hate on one on each episode. I know. You get away with racism better than anybody I've ever imagined before.

If I had your delivery and face, I would be so much more. more racist than I am. It is tough living out here with this bone structure, but you just slice it in. You're like the nurse that gives you the shot. You don't even know it's over. But you do that with racism.

You inject people with pure racism. That nurse, it's adorable. Thank you. You're welcome. Young, how's it going? It's been good, and I just did a show with one of my Kieltoni family, Martin Phillips. Oh, nice.

Yeah, and when I was reading his message, I read from his voice. He's like, thank you, Young. That's a good impression. That's a good impression. Yeah, I said he looks like, he sounds like RFK if he didn't do Coke. That's true. That is true. Young, how's life going for you now that you're a little superstar?

I'm still kind of broke, you know. I need people to come to my shows. I go to my website. I have a show in Austin and San Antonio and New York City. Ooh, New York City. New York City. Great time to go to New York. Nothing better than snow piles and dog shit everywhere.

Very exciting. Guys, this is your first time seeing Young? Yeah. My first time seeing. I like. You were great. Great energy. Oh, thank you.

Seems like you want to start a female Epstein Island. And I'm down with that. For Arab men. I'm cool with that. That seems cool. Yeah, I didn't care for your energy. but you seem like a nice person for sure. I would have liked a little more zip, not zip, but...

Whoa, whoa. I'm not like, what do you call? Like, uh, gow! Oh, yeah, yeah. I love your stand-up, by the way. I like, I like your stand-up, by the way. I love you. I was just feeding off of his energy.

Fuck, I like you too very much. God! Joe, do you know, like, in Chinese, we have a phrase for people who look like you? Oh, boy. Oh, Jesus. Is it kind of? You don't want to hear this.

No, I think it's going to be nice. What is it young? Si-wen, bye-le-le-le- What does that mean? It means nerdy pervert. Oh, I told you, Joe. I knew that wasn't going to go well. That's only half true.

I am not a nerd. I just have bad eyesight. I'm very, I don't know how to play chess. I fuck well. Whoa. Ooh. This is amazing. Breaking news of it.

You're tough, lady. You're like the black widow. Yeah. I was like, who is this in the green room? Nice, yeah, that's cool. So that's fair. I said the same thing. Like Tony, like, why can I get on an episode with bigger comedians?

Oh, my God. Trust me, we thought the same thing backstage too. We were felt the same way. Yeah, you're on a panel, you should do better. Thank you. I appreciate that. Young, you are fearless, adorable, always. always crushing.

Thanks for getting tonight's show started for us. The Great Young, everybody, and we are off and running. I've been informed that our first bucket pool of the night is behind the curtain. They have indeed been wrangled. We're going to meet this person altogether. Anything can happen. Make some noise for your first bucket pool. Rock Turner, everybody. Here we go.

Rock Turner. Who knows how big. Who knows how big their dad's dick is? Right? We should know that kind of information for the ones of us that do. This shit's fucking crazy. My dad hated wearing clothes. And like my dad, I know how big is my dad's dick is.

It's seared in my brain. It's right there right now. Hey, I see you. Unfortunately, he was a nudist because he had a big dick. My dad's dick was so big, it had abs. It had a Netflix account, paid its own bills. It was the only one of us that he was proud of. It's better than mom, though.

You imagine your mom, like, leaning over to wake you up for school in the morning? Her left tit grazes your forehead. Honey, time to get up. Mom, get your tits out of my face. I'm not six months anymore. Tony? Sure, all right.

I guess. I may not. That's one way to end this set. I wouldn't have known when you were done. Wasn't for that Tony there at the end. Wow. That was a lot. Trauma.

That's what that set was. I think you saw a lot more of your dad's dick than you're letting us on to believe. It's pretty big, but... I don't know what it looks like hard, so... Right. How could you see it when it was in your ass as a little boy?

Very hard to tell. Gentle, sweet, young boy ass that you had when you took... That's what... We have actual audio from your childhood. That's you. That's a young... Young Rock Turner.

That's when you were just Pebble Turner. Sweet, sweet boy. Glint to my dad's eye. How old are you, Rock? 42. 42. How long you've been doing stand-up? About two years.

Two years. What made you want to start at the age of 40? I just love making people laugh. The art form. I just wanted to do it. I do photo and video, and it's like weddings and stuff like that. And there's a lot of dead time,

so I just wanted to do something. I also love doing and I love comedy so I figure it goes great thing to get into all right 40 in Austin of course you know you love the city of Austin have you always lived here since oh one so most of my adult life okay and you all right dad's here again yeah is your dad still alive he is still alive yeah and you still haven't seen it hard We have them on the line right now. We're going to ask them.

We're going to have them measure it out. Rock, is that what you do for a living? You take photo and video at weddings and whatnot? Yeah, it's mostly weddings, events, corporate stuff. Craziest thing you've ever had to do a video and photography for that's not a wedding. I did a dude-dwar shoot once. A what? Dude-dwar.

It's like booed-dwar, but with dudes. Oh. Oh, God. What does that mean? That's actually how I saw my dad's dick. Dude war? What do you... I'm still not getting... Dude in their underwear.

He took pictures of guys with their cops in their underwear. Yeah. That's terrible. Sexy underwear and stuff. Yeah. It was supposed to be for their wives, but... Our resident homophobic, D-Madness,

plugging his ears, groaning, making a lot of noises right now. Motherfucking talking about his dick, his dad's dick, everybody's dick, all this shit's gay. This show gay as fuck, Tony. The gayest goddamn show I ever not seen in my life. All right.

Rock, what do you do when you're not doing stand-up and video photography and all that? I like to play guitar, sing, uh, smoke weed, play games. Typical dude stuff. Dude stuff. Yeah. Wow. Do you have a girlfriend? I've got a wife. I got kids.

What? That's right. That's a left- left turn. I didn't see coming. I thought you lived alone. For sure. The question is, have your kids seen your dick? Is this a family tradition?

That's true. Have they been stuck between a rock and a hard place? Maybe right now. How many kids do you have? I've got four kids. Jesus Christ. Rock. My God, look at you. King Cream Pie over here.

What's the age range of these four kids? So the older two are step kids. kids are like 26 and 20, and then the younger ones are 12 and 11. Wow. So the ones that came out of your nuts are 12 and 11. Yeah. All right. Boys, girls? One of each. Okay.

What about the older ones that were in the 20s? What about them? What exactly are you asking? Male or female? I'll tell everyone except for red band. There you go. All right. Rock Turner. Interesting stuff.

Guys, what do we think about wrong? I like when you talked about your mom's tits. That was great. The visual. I mean, they seemed nice. Pendulous. I mean, you probably have to have some nice tits to get a nice dick. Oh, dude. You lived a horrible life.

You lived like an HBO real sex life, like those people that fuck on camera. Am I mistaken? Isn't Brock Turner a famous rapist? Yeah. What? Oh. And it sucked. Because when I first got into comedy, like, literally, I'd

search my name, and you know Google was like, oh, did you mean? It didn't even give it, did you mean? It was just like, this is what you meant, Brock Turner. The brutal rapist? So anybody is trying to find my comedy, they're like, oh, this rapist dude. It was like Turner versus whatever case. Wow. What are the odds that

Brock Turner, Rock Turner, both are rapists? This is incredible. I know. I know. I think the case was exactly 11 years ago. How old did you say your kid was? The fucked up part is he changed his name to Alan, so now I'm closer to

Brock Turner than he is. Oh my goodness. Kid smart. I feel like if you had one minute, this bid is better than the bit you did. It is true. It's good stuff. Not that the bit wasn't amazing. Obviously, it was a killer bit you did, but...

Do you have any jokes about how Rock Turner sounds like Brock Turner, a famous rapist? Well, so not only that, but this is actually not my given name. My parents named me Rock Turner, and then they unnamed me, named me Brad instead. So my real name is Brad. Why don't you just change your name to Jeffrey Bomber or something like that?

Well, they named me after Rock Hudson, and then they found out he was gay or bisexual. Oh, found out. Oh, what a tough day in the Turner family. And then I became Bradson. He's a what? Not in my house. See my dick, but... We're changing his name to Elton.

Yeah. Well, Rock, you did your very best. I'm sure of that. There's a little joke book for you, buddy. There he goes. Rock Turner. That's a fun little bucket pool. There we go.

Oh, my goodness. Right on cue. our very own Van of White, ladies and gentlemen. The great Heidi is here, everybody. Thanks a noise for Heidi, everyone. She has a podcast. Go to Heidiregina.com to check it out. All right.

Your next bucket pool, ladies and gentlemen, looks like a new name. Makes some noise for Mark Fitman, everybody. Mark Fitman. How you doing, everyone? Nice to be here. It's coming up on Oscar season, and, you know, I used to be into it a lot more.

Last year I saw the best picture anora. And the first 20 minutes of that movie is all sex. And, you know, after that, I kind of lost the plot and just zipped up and left the theater. I don't think I'll be welcome back this year. I'm not really sure. I don't know if it's racist or not,

but I programmed my GPS to avoid all Martin Luther King Boulevard. Just figure I'll bypass that. I do think racism is getting a little bit better. As I get older, it seems a lot better. I mean, I'm getting really good at it. Come from my house, you know, my grandfather had a cat that was named the N-word.

Oh, it's just ended there. I love it. Mark Fitman, welcome, welcome, sir. How are you? Good, good to see you. How long you've been doing stand-up? This is like the sixth mic I've done, basically. Wow, look at you.

Natural. I did some improvisational acting back in the 90s. Nice. Can we ask you how old you are? I am 59. 59. You look the same age as Rock Turner. He's 42.

Incredible. So what made you want to start stand-up nowadays? You know, my kids are in college now, and I've got a little more time. I travel for a living, so I've been hitting mics as I travel around. That's awesome. What do you do for a living? I work in a consulting business.

We basically give like CEOs really smart things to say. Yeah. Okay. Very cool. You've been doing that your whole life? No, not all the time. I worked in the car business for a while. What were you doing in the car business?

I was a body and fender man painter. Hell yeah. Okay. I love it. And your kids are in college. You still married? Yeah. Nice.

How long you've been married for? I've been married for 22 years. We actually married, divorced for two years, then got remarried. Ooh, let's talk about it. I love that. I knew the second he came out here, I go, this is going to be great. Because, you know, we get a lot of these fucking kids up here and whatnot. Nobody's got a life story.

I try to get the best out of the interviews with people. Sometimes when someone comes out here, I can just tell it's going to be a good interview. And here we go. You may have just answered a lot of people's questions on how to save a marriage. It's getting a divorce. Yeah, it works because you end up, you know, figuring some things out about each other and realizing no one else wants you. How deep into your marriage?

That's fantastic. How deep into your marriage did you get the divorce? We were about 11 years in. I love it, 11 years in. So did you get the divorce and you guys just started banging whatever you wanted basically? Is that the deal? No, I think the trouble was we couldn't bang anything we wanted. What do you mean?

We couldn't find anybody else. Oh, I love that. That's amazing. So what was it like when you guys rekindled? Are you already had kids? Yeah, yeah, we had our kids. And, you know, I would go over there to put them down and see them off for the night and try and visit with them, spend time with them.

Then I invited them over for Thanksgiving. And then we just started back up. I love it. That's amazing. Wow. Steve, what do you think about this? Dude, so you had a half-time in your marriage. Right? That was like you went back, you studied game film, you're like, I can't fuck anything else.

I wonder if she's having sex. And what was the convo like when you guys circle? It seemed like you just circled the parking lot and you just were like, hey, these are the best spots we can get. Let's just go back together. What was that conversation like when you were like, are you happy or you, how did you feel? We were both like, well, we both lost some weight, so. That's great. I don't have any... I'm just enamored. I want you to be my dad.

You're like... You're such a cool customer. You've done six mics? I feel like you have no nerves whatsoever. Yeah. I've got a few. Oh, okay. Well, you're very...

Are you on drugs? Yeah. Oh. Lysinopril. I'm sure blood pressure medicine or something, right? I'm on blood pressure medicine. Yeah, good job. Dr. Ran Azizi.

Hey, man, I see Rosetia. I know my own. I know I got it. I'm on blood thinners. I almost died on Super Bowl Sunday. This past Super Bowl Sunday? Yeah, yeah. I know.

That halftime show pissed me. I know. I was serious. I take the blame for that, by the way. I don't think I've acknowledged that on this show. It's my fault. That's the pendulum swinging the other way, Tony. No doubt about it.

That's karma. Everybody's making up for your mistake. What's that? Everybody's making out for your mistake. Yes, exactly. That guy dancing on telephone poles and whatnot. Amazing. Tell us about your near-death experience.

I have a, it's called a bilateral hemat, or blood clots in my lungs. I have a bi-heart as well. Okay. Bilateral pulmonary embolism. Nice. So what did that feel like? It felt like a heart attack. I couldn't breathe.

You know, my heart rate went up to like 147. And, yeah, it was pretty rough. 47's bad, right? Yeah, it's pretty bad. Well, for you, it's probably. That's your resting heart. Yeah. Jesus Christ, Redband.

So you, was this during the actual Super Bowl? It was before. Okay. So you went to the hospital? Yeah, yeah. Went to the urgent care and they said, yeah, I think this EKG looks like shit. You better go to the emergency room. I love it.

I love it. Mark, what else about your life? Tell us more about you. Any hobbies or any fun facts about you? Um, you know, I just do a lot of family stuff. I like old cars and working on those. I don't have any at the moment, but I think there was some girls selling a Mustang around here somewhere. I think I remember that.

I love it. So six open mics. What was the improvisational experience that you have? So I went through classes at Second City in Improv Olympic and then did a bunch of stuff around there. Is that in L.A.? In Chicago, right? Yeah. Wow.

Is that where you live? No, I live in Kansas City now, but I used to live in Chicago. You ever see The Bean? Yeah. You know about the beans. I know about the bean. I still don't believe it's real. What made you move to Kansas City?

I moved there for work. Okay. And hell yeah. So what do you do when you're on the road? Talk about your, you have a lot of travel experience. Any travel tips for people? I developed a special power. Yeah.

I can, with my eyes closed, tell you what hotel I'm in just by the lotion. Ooh. Can you describe this to us? I think the Marriott adds some kind of synthetic in air. Yes. For sure. Would you be willing to jerk off in front of all of us right now? We're all going to see our dad's dick tonight.

Kids turned out good? Yeah, yeah. I got one in KU, one in K-State. Females? Yes. Oh, my God. You are... It's a hard female there, Red Band.

Female? They are Asian Red Band. Mark, you're the man. Come back again, sign up sometime. You're our first big joke book of the night. Bill. Mark Fitman. How fun.

We're going to keep it moving along here. As we go to our next bucket pool, everybody. He goes by the name of Saul Wilson. We're going to meet Saul together. For Saul Wilson, everybody. How's going? You know, the modern world is different. you know, brownie points used to me one thing,

but now it means a higher chance of anal. And if you remember, there's a pilot shortage, I'm not sure if it's still going on, but begs the question, did anyone ask the band 21 pilots for help? Like, I know there's sound. It's not that complex. I bet they could have spared, like, 16 or like 17 pilots.

I find it strange that we name storms after people. Like, is that like all, like, ex-girlfriends of ex-boyfriends, you know, just like a meteorologist looking forward to a hurricane. It's like, yeah, like you fucking you, you like my brother more. Katrina, let's see if there's a hurricane coming. But then I realized we even name, and then I realized we even named diseases after people, like leukemia, named after some black lady somewhere. Wilson.

Welcome back, Saul. How are you? I remember you. How's life been going, Saul? Otto Sable. What? Same old, I guess. Tell us about that.

What do you do for work, Saul? Just anything with my car these days? I get to make money. Your car? You drive. You Uber, you Uber eats, that type of stuff. Yeah, like all the above. Nice.

Anything crazy happened in the backseat of your car lately? No, no. How about the fronts? Just in the... How about in the... driver's seat. Rock and roll. There's a lot of road rage.

All right. You have road rage? Yeah, I bet some people would have recognized me as the guy that flipped him off in traffic. Oh, you're a big flipper-offer, huh? Is that your move? I feel like that's why I'm here. It's delusional. All right.

I never see those people. I'm driving way faster than when I'm passing them, right? Okay, red band. Boy, can't tell which one's Saul and which one's Red Band. Nothing coming from anywhere. I love it.

Brownie points, 21 pilots. I barely got anything that you talked about tonight, Saul. What's your writing process like? I don't know, and like Norm McDonald's my biggest inspiration, so just kind of his cadence. Wow.

All right. Yeah. Can I do a bit on Norm? You what? What? Like, can I do a bit on Norm McDonald's? Can you do a bit of Norm McDonald's? Yeah, about him.

About him? I'd be happy to hear a real joke, right? Yes, exactly, sure. Anything funny. Do anything. Well, you know, they say you're not supposed to say bad things about people that have died, but, you know, Norm McDonald's my biggest inspiration, and I'm probably not as funny as him, but, you know, at least I could drive myself.

Saul. Shit, man. Holy shit, dude. Saul, how long have you been doing stand-up? Not long enough. Yeah. Name a number or something. Describe better than that.

How long you've been doing stand-up? As far as writing, like, yeah, like two years. Okay. How many open mics do you think you go to a week? Yeah, not enough. Okay, Saul, you're gone. Get out of here. Goodbye, Saul.

Thank you so much. There he goes. Like I was saying when Mark Fitmoom is up here, sometimes you get someone a little younger, doesn't quite get the interview process of the show, doesn't have a wealth of life experience to draw from. Answers every question with, not enough. Great energy though, unbelievable.

He's got that zip you were looking for earlier. Back to the bucket we go. You guys having fun out there? All right, your next bucket pole goes by the name of Ty Marion, everybody. Here comes Ty Marion. Oh, here we go. Time area.

Since my accident, my dating life has sucked. The last summer before it happened, man, I was fucking killing it. Like I was dating one girl who told me she wanted me to talk more during sex. So I did. And then she got mad and broke up with me. And I was like, I kind of think this is your fault because when you told me you wanted me to talk more during sex, you should have specified that it was to you and not on the phone.

But you called my dad. Like, yeah, because we're like, cool. You know, and I feel like you should have known that, especially since your dad and I graduated together. Another girl I dated, she played super hard to get. And when we finally hooked up, it was at a church. She just laid there and kept staring at me real weird, so I had to put coins over her eyes.

Luckily though, she was Asian, so I only had to use pennies. But if you can't tell, I'm a Jew, so when I finished, I had to take them back. Thank you. All right. Hi, Marion. Welcome. You've been on the show,

multiple times for Joe List. What do you think about Ty? I think he looks like Rock Turner in disguise. Yeah, true. We may have a false bucket pull here. I thought it was good, that was funny. Ty, you've been on this show before. This is your first time with a walker.

Yeah, so literally last time I was on the show, I talked about how I got hit by a car while I was on a lime scooter and I was like, I was fine and I told you I was gonna limp it off. Two days later, I was on a scooter again, this time, no car, just the street, fucking head first straight into the ground. Really? Yeah, I broke my arm in a couple spots, tore my pituit tendon completely off.

It's been six months, and I got six more months to go. And you landed head first? No, somehow, I guess, which, you know, I got a big fucking head. Somehow, the way I hit something and it locked the wheel and turned it, so I didn't get, like, thrown off. I was basically catapulted straight into the ground like this sideways. This arm was completely backwards, and the knee was, like, all fucked up. Can we see the video?

No, unfortunately, didn't have any of the actual incident. I got a shit ton from that shitty-ass hospital, though. You got a what? Shit ton of videos from the shitty hospital that I went to. Why do you have video from the hospital? It was so fucking bad. It's the worst experience you can think of. I get put in, not even a room, I get in a hall, big-ass sign that says keep this area clear

at all time. And I'm like, I got a, this isn't supposed to be me, I think. You know? Like, this is something wrong. I don't. Like, I mean, I didn't realize... Do you talk about this at all in your stand-up comedy? Yeah, I've been back on the road lately since the incident took about three or four months.

That was not supposed to be a pun. Fuck, you don't laugh. But I've been back on the road. Telling us about the hospital visits. So were there doctors visiting you in the hallway that they put you in? Okay, so pull the curtain back a little bit. My best friend is one of your producers and was there within five... five, ten minutes of this happening.

Okay. He had to help the, I mean, it starts from the EMS, motherfucking lazy people. He had to help pick me up off the fucking ground because these two EMS people there had no idea how to pick up a six two, 200-pound guy off the ground with one fucking leg and one arm. And so they finally get me on the thing,

the thing after they figured out how to raise it up. And then I get into the ambulance and then they call me and they're at the hospital wondering where I'm at and I'm still on the fucking back ambulance sitting at the where I got fucked up. And I'm like, where are y'all at? They're like, we're here. Are you here yet? And I'm like, no, I'm in the same spot in the EMS.

I'm like, you're at the hospital? Like, yeah, traffic's real bad. And I'm like, how long has it been? They're like 45 minutes. Like, holy fuck, because I mean, they started juicing me right away. Right. I mean, it was obvious like I was fucked up at the moment. And then I get to the hospital, besides putting me in the hall, I never got to leave because I had emergency surgery because I almost lost my leg. But, I mean, I make a lot of, like, sarcastic jokes about it,

but they're very close to about what it was real. Like, I almost didn't get an IV bag. It was like a Capri Sun, basically, you know? Like, my insurance is so fucking bad. No gown, Joe's Crab Shack Bibb, nuts all out. You know? This is amazing. For some reason, that fucking hospital,

coldest hospital I've ever been in, you know what I mean? I'm trying to... Got shrinkage? Yeah. Yeah, it sucks. In a hospital gown, that sucks. And I don't know about you guys, but I got a scrubs fetish. So when I see these Latinas walking around fucking caked up, I'm like, oh.

Oh, yeah. The problem is I got one arm, you know, so I'm kind of like, oh, what's up? No sympathy pussy. All my boys, sense this. You're going to get so much sympathy pussy. Six months, two questions. When? When the fuck does that start?

What do I got to do? Is there a form? Am I doing something wrong? Because I'm ready. Ready? I fell on my knee, not my we knee. You know what I mean? Like, what's up? Yeah.

What hospital was it? Here in Austin, Seton, fucking, I don't know, this one up here on 38th or something, 39th. Oh, you work there? Is that my nerves? Was there, is Seton Animal Hospital? Yeah, we are getting word that you were taken to an animal hospital. Your insurance is so bad they took you to the vet. I believe they thought you were some kind of orangutan or something like that.

That makes sense, then, yeah. But no, a crazy thing that happened. is, and this is true, I do talk about it too, is I honestly felt like I was gonna be molested at the hospital because I had the nurse that was gonna take me to the operating room was a little like five foot, 300 pound Hispanic dude. His name was Juan on his thing,

but he crossed it off and he wrote Poppy Chulo. So at first I was like, oh, this might be like a pimp kind of thing. No, that's for sure his grinder profile name. This fucker kept trying to give me sponge bass, and I'm like, dude, I'm not that dirty. Right. And then they're like, oh, he's going to give you the anesthesia. I'm like, oh, for sure, I don't want this guy giving me anesthesia.

I'm fucking trying to fight it and stay awake. I'm like, I think I'm going to be fine. No. And then, and then like, I swear it's probably the anesthesia. I felt like he leaned over right before I passed out and he was like, the safe word is deductible. I was like, what? No, no.

Wow. It's fucking horrible. Did you get decodged? What? You get declawed? Redmond, how are you not on the list? I used a fake name. No, I figured they would have at least tricked you one time with the pizza and grape soda line, and you'd have been the only person...

Yeah. You'd be the only one to come back from Epstein's Island and complain about false advertising. Ty is on fire. They didn't have any pizza rolls, hot pockets, bagel bites, nothing. Ty Marion, how long were you in that hospital for? about 24 hours? 24 hours. What's that in dog years?

Yeah. I noticed the first time you were on the show, you got robbed and there was, so you murdered somebody or something like that. The second time you were in an accident. The third time you were in an accident. Like, does it seem like your life, like you're not doing great at it?

Like, are you literally just saying the N-word we're walking down the street and shitting on people or something? Like, why is so much negative? negative energy coming to you. I think because you asked the question. You got to get it out. There you go. You got it out.

Took them a little while longer. Take a while. Yeah. Your memory's wrong. The first time I was on, I was really fat. And I ended up singing songs. The second time I was on, I was a little too stoned off and edible. The third time, I talked about killing the guy.

This is the fourth time. I don't like talking about that. That was the last time on. I don't like that set. But you had gotten into a scooter accident then? Two days later after that, this happened. Right. Yeah.

Didn't like your set that much. You just tried to, you know, I'm like, no, it was fine, you know. I feel like I'm maybe taking that extra step trying to get closer to, you know, golden tickets or whatever, you know. But we'll see what people do. That's how it goes. Not handicapped enough for a golden ticket, my friend. Well, actually, now that you bring that up,

the last time I was on, I mentioned that I was autistic, but according to Dr. Hinchcliff, I guess I'm not retarded enough. It's okay. No, you're doing good. Yeah, I mean, I literally have a, like a literal diagnosis of it didn't happen until my 30s so when you go 30 plus years of like going what the fuck is wrong with everybody and then you find out everybody's thinking the same thing about you things a little weird i love it tie do you have are you in love with somebody do you have a

girlfriend no you go on any dates yeah i date a little bit here and there but i mean obviously since the last six months i guess if you didn't hear it's not going so well right your Your fuckleg's broken, right? What? Your fuck leg, the one you really give the thrust with? It's the one that you do like, you get that, like, you get that rhythm going, you know? It's tough.

Those little knee slapper once in a while. Yep. I want to give away too much. Bonsai, who makes all the great joke books here, made one that's covered in hair. And since you're always in a very hairy situation, I figure who better than you, Ty Marion? There you go, my friend.

Thank you both. A fun interview. Hi, Marion. Crushing it in the interview portion, talking about his real life. Take note that when people talk about their real life, it works. It's amazing, right? All right. Your next bucket pool goes by the name of Angel, everybody.

One word name, Angel. Hi, there, folks. My name is Angel. People in the street approach me, and they call me autistic. I don't think it's very nice. 90% of the people I meet think I'm autistic. The other 10% just don't talk to me. I'm very scared to be here tonight,

but I'm very proud to be Latino. How many of you here in the audience is, it's fucking Texas. Let me hear it. Arriba! Yeah, grazias. I grew up for the longest time, not knowing dogs got bigger than puppies. I thought all dogs naturally died to Parvo.

I just didn't know. I grew up with the Latino stepdad, and he was great until, you know, occasionally we just dropped the end bomb at Walmart. Like, I don't know. nowhere like what's going on my aunt you can't be saying that in this Walmart specifically where'd you fucking learn that word dad he goes at work well you shouldn't be using it unless we're at Home Depot when we got people behind her back we got

the webbacks helping us out in case of a race riot right oh god um I'm bad at dating guys thank God let's fucking gets over with angel Jesus Christ man you ever done this before I get really anxious when I'm on stage oh this is a great job for you then. I thought of it as a way to sort of get me out of my comfort zone. Do the hardest thing possible first and then come back and do something easier, like welding or something.

I think welding might be your calling. Thank you, Tony. Okay. How long have you been attempting stand-up comedy, Angel? This is my third and a half year doing stand-up comedy. Third and a half year. Let's talk about your work ethic. Yes, sir. When you say three and a half years,

what... How hard are you working? So, it wasn't until the second and third year I didn't get to do more than like three mics or I wasn't able to do more before that I wasn't able to do more than three mics a week second year 2023 2024 2025 I was able to like really kick into high gear here at Austin Creek in the cave really opened up their arms to me at their midnight mics and I just kind of was able to go like five ten times a week I did eight mics at one night on a Wednesday fucking bomb fucking baller eight times yeah that's my record Tony it might not be much wow what do you do for work angel sir I used to be a

But recently I settled down two weeks ago to be a like a technician where I assemble like those emergency lights for police vehicles How did you learn how to do that? Well They just need Mexicans with with good hands to build lights with LEDs I'm like a strong 60% of the workforce where I work is like Latinos You 100% Mexican no sir. I'm Chicano which means I'm half Mexican half American my dad's American my mom is Mexican as fuck How many siblings do you have get ready for this I got nine counting last year. Wow. Yep, you're Mexican.

Where do you fall in the nine? I am the second oldest of the nine. I have eight sisters, one older. Sorry. Keep going. I have eight sisters, and as of last year, I have one brother finally. It took only nine siblings until I got a brother.

And can I just say that growing up with eight sisters and all the houses was awful, because I could never blame a comsock and anybody. I can now with the one-year-old or half-year-old. Wait, what does that mean? If I had a cum... If there was a cum sock in the hamper,

they couldn't blame anyone but me because I'm the only male out of the nine siblings. But you just said half-year-old. What does that mean? Oh, my youngest brother. He was just born last year. He's not even a year old.

Oh, wow. But I can blame it on him in a couple years, I guess. How old are you, Angel? I'm 26er. Your mom is still making babies? No, my dad is. Oh, okay.

My mom stopped four years ago. Nice. Her jersey is hanging in the rafters at a chee-cheeze in somewhere. But your dad found a new baby mama, huh? He's had the same one for like the last 10 years and she's just ragged and broken down. Wow. How many kids does she have? One, two, three, four, five, six, I think six,

I think six kids. Seis. Wow. Okay, I think six. Wow. So your dad's just banging out there. You won't fucking stop, Tony. My goodness.

Okay, Angel. What are your hobbies? Oh, I like the boulder. What? I like the boulder. Climb. Like to rock climb. Okay.

Yes, yes, yes. I like to journal at coffee shops and peep at the fine ladies at the cafe. Oh, I bet they love that. I bet they love you just sitting there staring at them. Well, typically I'm there at 2 a.m., so they love it. At the coffee shop? Yeah, there's a 24-hour coffee shop, Benu, shout out. Okay.

Fucking love it there. Just be there at 2 in the morning, checking out the babes. Wow. The babes that come in for coffee at 2 a.m. It's mostly dudes. Okay. All right.

Guys, what do we think about Angel, gentlemen? I don't know what to think, but I do think a woman can have a cum sign. Because the cum comes out, and then you wipe it. I'm just saying, like, if you get combed in. Yeah, she said, one of my sisters, a whore. Yeah, yeah. She's got all the common side of her and that's where the sock came from.

Yeah. I get that. Yeah. You could have blamed it on your sister. Yeah. I tried so hard every year for the first 16 years before I got kicked out. Did any of your sister's friends want to fuck you? No, they were all younger than me. Oh, God. There's eight of them.

Yeah, but I'm the oldest. Second oldest. The first, the oldest was like one of those illegitimate babies from another maybe mama. And so, like, I didn't get to get raised with her. I didn't meet her until Easter when I was like seven. You didn't meet her till Easter. When I was seven, yes. Wow.

Yeah. My family's different. Yeah, a little different. I met everyone. All my family members pretty much early on. I got them all. Yeah, I have a sister. I met her day one.

Yep, first day. Came out. There she was. Yep. Known her ever since. All together, the first Easter. The first one we ever had. Angel, other than having all these siblings,

What do you think is the most Latino thing about you? The most Latino thing about me is my work ethic, actually. Oh, shit. Could a answer, dude. Well, here's the thing. Like, I'm privileged. I'm a, you know, born citizen of the United States, but a lot of Latinos who don't come to this country

with that, you know, privilege have to work their asses off to barely make minimum wage, to break even. They're pretty much working for nothing. That's me. I'm a starving artist. Up until recently, I haven't had a full-time job. I've been sort of bumming it for the last four years, doing temp jobs at festivals, factories, bodegas.

such and such. You don't strike me as starving or an artist. Yeah. I'm kidding, of course. I don't. Angel, what do you think the whitest thing about you is? You claim to be half white. Let's hear the whitest thing about Angel.

When I spell words, like labor, I spell L-A-B-O-U-R, the British way. Whoa, okay. Now, even though you're not black at all, I'm gonna go for it. What do you think the blackest thing about you is, Andrew? A low-fat white woman?

Wow. Look at that. Brutal honesty. That tracks. When you say you, yeah, go ahead. But have I ever smitten a white fat woman before? No. You've never.

I think you mean smothered. I don't want to get smothered. You've never been with a big white woman. No. Can I be honest to the entire world right now? Yes, you can. I've actually never been with the woman before. Wait, what?

Yeah, never. You're a virgin? I'm a woman virgin, yes. Are you a man virgin? No, I'm not a man virgin. Tell us about this. Was it an accident? It happened too many times for it to be an accident, guys.

Let's talk about it, Angel. I didn't know it was pansexual until I was in college, But at that point, you know, pansexual means you like all the genders, but the only genders I liked me were the fellas. And so you make do with what you got, right, fellas? You make do with what you got. No, you make do with what you got. Let's talk about this, Angel.

Yes, sir. So... You make goo with what you got. Got into it. We're into it now with Angel. So when did you realize you were pansexual? And what's explaining me the difference, because... Is that deep-

What is that? Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know what that means. Yeah. I'm pretty sure Red Band's Pansexual. You mean get deep? You're pretty pansexual.

I've seen you in a Chicago pizza place. Frying pansexual. So what's the difference between pansexual and bisexual? Well, bisexual is just your traditional woman or men, nothing in between. Pansexual is despite the gender or the genitalia, you love them for the personality and who they are. So whether they're male, female, trans male, trans female, non-binary, asexual, such and such. Have you been with trans people before?

I have been with transgender people, yes. But everything that you've been with was born originally with a penis. Yes, considered a Mab assigned male at birth. Wow, I can't believe someone that knows this many genders signed up for this show. This is amazing. Just goes to show that anyone can sign up. The door is wide open here. We give anybody an opportunity.

I just learned what a pansexual was today, everybody. All right. So, how many different dudes do you think you've been with? Give us a ballpark here. Do I have to answer that? I'm really ashamed of that answer. Okay, give us a ballpark. That's exactly what we won. Solid 40. 40. Wow. All right. Turns out he's gay, everybody. That's not a pansexual at all.

You're gay, dude. You're a gay man, and that's all right. I want women, though. I want women, though. I want to meet a woman so fucking bad. What the fuck are you gonna, you're just gonna butt fuck a woman? I know. You're just gonna throw a ball,

backwards hat on her and hit it from behind? What the fuck are you talking about, Angel? Tony, I really, I really do. I really want the love of a nice woman, to be honest with you guys. What makes you want a woman? You've been with over 40 men. What do you think it is that you're missing out on?

Leave him all along. Other than a... Thank you, Red Band. Thank you so much. Oh, you're gonna get fucked, dude. He said he's into fat white dudes, basically. Deep dish fuck, dude. Oh, yeah.

He's going to pepperoni your pizza, dude. Oh, my. Look at this guy. He's getting in his comfort zone. Look how happy he is. All right. So, what do you think it is that a woman has that you want? Tender.

Love. You should say pussy, dude. Hey, the dark thing. Wait your turn. By the way, saying tender first. The gayest thing you've admitted on the show today. You want a suck dick, dude. That's cool.

Suck dick. I don't want to suck dick for the rest of my life. I want to suck vagina. I just want a partner. On Angel's top 10 gayest moments of this interview. Yes. Trying to find my equal. Somehow I hooked up with 40 dudes is the second gayest thing you've said.

Dender. But I got to say, you haven't lived until you sucked vagina. Yeah, yeah. I want to suck vagina. vagina so bad. You get that heavy clit in your mouth and you're like, this is going to work. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Wait, when you said you were ashamed, I thought of the number, I thought it was going to be higher or lower.

400, I thought I was going to. Yeah, 40 is like, that's pretty, that's okay. I've only been having sex since I was 21. I thought you fucked Harvey Milk. Who's Harvey Milk? All right. That's old-speed. I'm 26. So you've been fucking for five years, 40 guys. So that's eight guys. year, right? On average, yeah. But I mean, statistically, you know, there are-

statistically, that's almost one a month. Well, there are bouts of, like, more than one a month. There is a solid, like, month where I don't even remember the number. Oh, my God. Wow. What is that blackout month for you? Is that what- I was selling cars in a dealership, and I was just so stressed out.

I just had to do something to get the stress out. Was that your closing deal? You're like, buy this car and I'll suck your cop. Yeah. Kia? That's great. So, are you on the gay dating app? Yes.

That's a yes. Let me ask you that. You need transgender women, though. Okay. That's your favorite kind? Not favorite kind. I just... Oh, Dee.

Go back again. Go pee again, Dee. Oh, God. Just wait back there, Dee. You don't know. Go hold a thing. This is going to quit the fucking show if he comes back here right now.

Gonna have a whole new bass player next week. Oh my God. He's had enough, dude. Enough of your nonsense. Are you on... 40 dudes, and he was like, I gotta take a piss. I got to get the fuck out of it. So, Angel, you've been with over 40 dudes.

You've been with zero women, but you want to be with a woman. If you were to go on a date with a woman, tell us. What's the first thing you would... Where would you take her? Where would you go? Well, first thing is, I want to, you know, disarm the situation. I want to take her somewhere public

where she knows I'm not a threat. It's like... Perfect. Like a coffee shop. Oh, my God. Coffee shop. The king of the coffee shop. And then...

Come on it. Come on, Indy. We're talking about him trying to hook up with women. You're going to love this. You're going to love this, Dee. Put your earphones in, Dee. Put them in.

We're going to play some straight music for you while we interview Angel. Okay. So you're going to take her to a coffee shop? Coffee shop. Uh-huh. And then ideally we go bouldering, which is rock climbing, Tony. Uh-huh.

And then we end at the evening before sunset. We put up the hammock on either Lady Bird Lake or at Barden Springs, and we hang out on the hammock together until the sunsets. You do that sometimes? You hang a hammock? Wow, you're so good. Oh, I stuffed in a hammock for, like, a solid summer. Wow.

That's not the most bent in your backs ever been. No, I loved it. I know you do. Until they, like, ripped open in the middle, and I just, like, fucking hit the ground into my ass. Oh, yeah. There it is. And all the cum squirts out everywhere.

It's landed on a dick. That's funny. Wow. Okay, Angel. This interview's going on way too long. But there I have one more, one more unbelievable area to cover here. So, let's say you get this lady back to your place, right? You've never been with a woman before.

What's your first move that you make on her? If she's like, let's just say she went, she was like, Angel, I want you to do whatever you want to do with me. I'm just going to let you take over. What do you do? The first 15 minutes. Sucker cock. Yeah. You just go there.

You're just air-sucking. Yeah, look for that cop that's not there. Just air-sucking a cock. All right, no, go ahead, Angel. This is something I believe in. The first 15 minutes is just dedicated to the tongue, and it's just, I'm going to put my tongue all over the person's body, from top to bottom.

Whoa. All right. So much for all that. Make her not think you're creepy. thing. Kisses on the neck down to the chest. This is down further to the...

They have pussies, dude. You gotta get down there. It's just 15 minutes. 15 fucking minutes, Angel. I'm serious. Nobody wants to tongue kiss you for 15 minutes, dude. No, I'm tongue kissing them.

Again, it doesn't matter who's kissing who. Wait a second. Are you a nurse at the hospital on 38th Street? Are you Poppy Chulo? We found Poppy Chulo, everybody. Hold on, don't you grab that fucking mic stand till I tell you to, you son of a bitch. The only person that wants me to kick you off this stage right now is D-Madness. So here we go.

We're getting to the gold now. So you get down to the vagina. Hold the mic down to your hip and face that front, face the audience, face them. Stop looking at me like that. Now show us, now show us how you would eat a vagina. His first time doing this, ladies and gentlemen, just pretend like it's there in front of you. Pretend like you're, pretend like she's in that,

no, you don't need to use the mic. That's a dick, that's what you're used to. Take a holster that, holster that dick. He's still trying to put a dick-shaped thing. He wants it in his mouth. Put that away. Let's say she's in the hammock hanging in your bedroom at that exact height, her pussy is right in front of your face.

Show us exactly what you would do. Wait, what? Wait, what? He's going to give it raspberries. Whoa. He's so Latino, he's giving it raspberries. Oh, man. I didn't mean to spit on you, dude.

I'm sorry. He accidentally spit on the very tough looking guy in the front row. You got AIDS now! Oh, you got AIDS. Very good. Just mouth aids, dude. Just mouth AIDS. That's okay.

It's just the spit of 40. Dude's come, dude. It's not that big of a deal. Don't be a homophobe. There's no pussy juice in that. I'll tell you that right now. You're clear that. What was the action that you'd, why would you blow on it like that?

I was just being kind of like facetious with you because I didn't want to like be genuine and you make fun of me for that. Or they make fun of me for doing something stupid. But if I really was going to go down on a woman, I would really just use a lot of my lip and my tongue. Show us. Kino, hit the spotlight again. Whoa! Whoa! Wait, no, no, no, face the crowd. Again, you're, there you go.

Wait, what are you doing? I'm getting ready. Oh, okay, okay. He's getting ready. I'm getting ready to eat some fucking pussy's own it. The lips, the tip of the tongue, the tongue, the tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips. Aye, aye, aye, y, y, y, y, oh, oh, blah, blah.

Two, one, pussy eating time. Whoa. Wait, after 15 minutes of sensual kissing, you're just going fucking, fucking turbo. She's gonna love it, dude. You know why? I can do that. I got the strength in my tongue

because I was a musician for 10 years. I was a tuba player. You were a what? A tuba player. How many tubas you suck? Oh my God. The horn players are thinking about retiring now. They're like, God damn it.

Why did it have to be a fucking tuba? You're just going to be a loser. Okay. So you ate her pussy. Pussy, then what are you gonna do? Are you gonna, then what? Make love to her? Yeah.

Go to the bathroom and throw up. It's about the genuine connection, guys. You have to talk to the person you're with. So I'd ask her if she wasn't already like, you know, hot and bothered. I would say, what do you want me to do? But if not, I'm just gonna go full insertion. Oh my God, dude.

Wow. Wow. She'll be bothered. Yeah, yeah. You should get t-shirts that says full insertion. You can sell a million of them. Let me ask you this. Does your father, who's made what appears to be about 15 children,

does he have any idea that you've been with 40 men or hook up with dudes at all? Not at all. Wow. Come on out, Dad. Padre. You have a fat Keebler Elf in the back? Wow. Wow, angel, incredible.

Have you ever kissed a woman? No. Oh, wow. Well, you know what, only here on Kiltoni, do we have a fan base of some of the greatest females that have ever existed. We have a historical 13, almost 14 year reputation of a segment called Kiss Me, where a young lady from the audience, or an old lady, or an old lady, or an old lady, or a little, Or if no one else wants to a gay dude in the crowd,

can come up and give this man his first kiss from a female. Is there a lady out there? We have the best fans in the world. Is there a woman out there willing to give this very gay man his first kiss from a woman? Is there any black man? No. Not a single woman wants to kiss a gay guy who's...

This is my dilemma. Is there somebody? She's kind of raising her hand, but it's okay. You want to? Come on up here, sweetheart. I don't think her boyfriend wants her to do it. They seem to be arguing about it. Wow, here she comes, everybody.

A historical moment in the show's history as a gay man is about to kiss his first female of his life. A lot of people are holding in, holding back vomit right now. The look in this crowd's face. I got a big dick. I just got a big old fucking. This is Kill Tony, where magical moments happen. Angel has been with nothing but men

and men that are pretending to be a woman. Whoa. Wow. Look at the excitement in her face, everybody. She volunteered for this. This is Angel's first female kiss. Miracles. Oh, Angel.

Angel's about to throw up. Unbelievable. Wow. There she goes. Back to obscurity, she goes. Well, he's wearing basketball shorts, so we could see what kind of... I know, he's gonna get hard, we're gonna see it. He got softer.

He did. Angel, you just kissed a woman for the first time. How do you feel? Are you now positive that you're gay? I am not gay. Wow. I am not gay. It's not gay, everybody.

Welcome to my world, Angel. You'll be denying it forever. I'll tell you what, the set, I don't even fucking remember talking about puppies and parvo and your stepdad, but the interview was unbelievable. There's a big joke,

but go shove it up your ass. Shove it up your ass, Angel. This is still funny. Oh, there's Heidi. Obviously, anything can happen here. Make some noise for your next comedian, and doing an uninterrupted 60 seconds. He's waited 24 minutes for this moment.

It's just been waiting. Nervous as fuck behind that curtain, no matter what. Make some noise for Luke Aaron, everybody. Here comes Luke. How are we doing tonight? All right. I'm from Wisconsin. And most people don't know much about Wisconsin

other than that we have cheese. And believe it or not, I did work at a cheese factory. I was one of the guys that made sure all the Swiss cheese had holes in it. No, just kidding. I wish that was my job. My job was actually making sure those guys stayed hard.

Thank you. Speaking of hard, being an adult is hard. As a kid, everything felt like an adventure, and now everything just kind of feels like a responsibility. Like, I get stressed out even just leaving my house. I'm like, am I on time? Did I turn off the oven? Did I pay rent?

Phone, wallet, key? micro penis. All right, I'm good to go. Now, I'm just kidding. It's actually not that small. The last time I had sex, she said that it was perfect size. At least I think that's what she would have said,

but I don't speak squirrel. All right. Thank you. That's all I got. An adorable set for Luke, Aaron. Out there fucking squirrels keeping the cheese fuckers hard. How you doing, Luke?

I'm doing good. How old are you? I'm 26. 26. How long you been doing stand-up? I've been doing stand-up now for like six or seven months. Six or seven months.

Nice. Where at? I've been doing, I've been, I like kickbutt coffee. That was like the first place I ever did it. Here in Austin. Okay, kick butt coffee. Is that open until 2 a.m.?

Oh, no. Well, it's like you're not getting your cock sucked at a coffee shop. We'll see you. Yeah. Behind it. Anything you never know. Luke, what do you do for a living?

I work at a spa in a hotel and resort. Okay. Yeah. What do you do at the spa? I serve people food by the pool and then like pick up their towels and stuff. Nice. How long have you been on that for? I've been doing that since moving here.

So I think probably about six months. Okay. Six months. What were you doing before that? Before that I was, I was in South Carolina after graduating college. I've been on before. We were talking about this. I was selling windows and I worked at a restaurant.

Okay. Mm-hmm. All right. All right. Anything changed since the last time you're doing? were on the show? Well, not a ton. So after, I was talking about my girlfriend the last time,

and we have been on and off, but we are still together. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I did it. When you say on and off, why, why are you on and off? Hmm. We just have, I don't know, I'm bad at relationships.

We just have a lot of, like, disagreements and stuff, but we've been working through it. Like about what? Can you give us an example of a recent disagreement that you have? Just anything will do. Anything will do. People will be able to relate to it. I mean, God, it's, it's, I'm like, I don't know, I'm kind of hard to deal with.

I like to, I want her to do, like, exactly what I want her to do all the time. So I'm kind of, I'm kind of controlling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm working on it. Can you give us an example of exactly what you mean by that? I mean, her. if she's just like on her phone scrolling or you say hey I say it yeah well no I just build resentment inside and yeah yeah yeah yeah that's that's my style yeah that's my style yeah a lot

of insecure dudes agree with you I don't know enough real relationship yeah yeah enough enough little things build up until it just boils over and then say something stupid Okay. Anything else crazy about your life we should know about? Hmm. I wrote a poem. Recently? I wrote a poem pretty recently, probably a few months ago. You want to say the poem?

I brought it. Oh, wow. Oh, my goodness. All right, all right. Oh, and then I also have, I also thought of a roast. Tony. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Tony Robbins' penis? Yes.

Nah. All right. Red band. Red band. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Juanita's penis? 2003. Ah, damn. All right, all right.

Here we go. Maybe the poem's better than your roast. All right, here we go. Here we go. All right. My poem is entitled, Sleepless Nights. All right. Here we go.

Penis. Cock. Willie and Dong. Weiner, Peter, Johnson, and Schlong. Must I keep going? and prolong? Has there been a man who's done no wrong? Has there been a man who's done no wrong?

You're a loser, you piece of shit. You will never become a surgeon. You will certainly die a virgin. The voices of my bullies rang true. Whatever am I going to do? Whatever am I going to do. I will not die a virgin, I said, within my own head. I must take matters into my own hands.

I would never tell... I would never tell a soul my plans. If no one at school was going to fuck me, I should get a job. Maybe one of them will suck me. How long is this fucking poem? All right, all right, all right. It's double-sided.

Double-sided, it is double-sided. It is double-sided. Like if Dr. Seuss was a doctor that Tiamarian's hospital. Who knows what's going to happen? Does he lose his virginity? Here we go. Oh, here we go.

It's the juice up part of the poem. Vigina, pussy, beaver, and ham. Ham? Yeah, sure. Ham? I had to rhyme it. Okay. All right, hey, work with me.

Work with me. All right. I love to suck ham. Hey, don't make me start this over. All right, I'm about to. All right, right. Beaver and ham. Vajee, Kletoris.

Coochee and clam. There it is. I got a job, and the first week went great. I laid low. They trusted me. They took the bait. They asked me, hey, would you be able to work late? I knew having sex was in my fate.

I need you to stay late to feed the animals at night. Of course, I said, it would be a delight. Yes, it's true. The job I got is at a zoo. Once everyone Oh, Jesus fucking Christ I gotta get you out of here

Is that like getting anywhere? It's going somewhere This is not a fucking poem, dude This is a fucking story that rhymes Why did you write this? What? Why? It was, I was

I was trying to make people laugh. Yeah, you hear that? Finish it. All right, hell yeah, hell yeah, all right. The poem is better than the stand-up. It is. It is better than it. All right, all right.

Once everyone finally when he left the park, I felt like Noah in his arc. I was hard as a rock and ready to come. I knew it was my time to get some. I knew I would lose my virginity soon. Come on.

I knew I would lose my virginity soon. It didn't take long till I was fucking a baboon. I went to the penguins and got some head. I didn't care that one of them was dead. Lions and tigers and bears oh my, I waited till they were sleeping, then gave them a cream pie. The flamingos and ducks in their flock

got ravaged by my throbbing cock. I stretched out an ostrich. I got coitus from a tortoise. I got dirty with the birdies. I got funky with the monkeys. All the animals in sight, they didn't put up much of a fight. I wanted to take on more,

bigger and better. I wanted the sexiest animal of them all. I thought it would satisfy. But now I sit on my bed and cry. Oh, did I think I was smart, but I will never be able to forget that hippo's fart. How much fucking longer is it? That's it. That's it.

Jesus. Christ. I love it. I take it back. I love it. There's a part two. Great. Next time.

Next time. Here you go. Here's the smallest joke book I could find. Oh. Right of Joe's cock. What happened? I'm hit. I got hit in the... Yeah, he deflected out to Joe's cock.

All right, there he goes. Luke Aaron, everybody. We'll kick it out to you later on, dude. I don't know where it is. It's up your ass. Luke Aaron. Good job, Luke. Poem's too long.

Can you imagine him doing that for like five more minutes? Yeah, it was crazy. All right. But the crowd loved it. Go to Barton's a noble. You guys were wrong. You know that, right? Bucketpool goes by the name of Casey Connor, everybody.

Makes noise for Casey Connor. How's it going, Austin? It has become problematic for me to take showers alone again recently. And that is because I listen to hip-hop in the shower. And I do not censor myself when Wu-Tang comes on. Thank you. But recently, Kanye was on my speaker. I was washing my armpits and I just,

I kind of just felt a little strange when I was listening to Kanye, so I had to skip the song. I'm sure you guys know which song it was. But after I skipped that song, Puff Daddy and the family came on and it was fitting to get loose. And I don't know if you guys know this,

but the first like 20 to 30 seconds of that song is puff daddy just breathing heavy like and I'm washing my asshole and Fitna Get Loose is on and I just prayed that I was the only one in there but I realized

it's very easy to become racist and gay by listening to hip-hop Jesus Christ Casey Connor everybody welcome welcome Casey have you been on this show before I have not welcome welcome welcome how long you've been to one stand-up

Seven years. Okay, sweet. Where at? Miami, Florida. Where? Miami. Nice. Okay.

Tell us about your life, Casey. Army veteran. I just moved to Austin about three weeks ago. I came here to do this to get better and perform and like Austin is the city to improve. Hell yeah. Have you been doing a lot of the mics and whatnot? I have not. I just got hired as a manager.

at a place, it's a non-alcoholic bar called Tulum Botanicals. A non-alcoholic bar? Yeah. So is there business there? Yeah, surprisingly. It's all plant-based. It's Kava, Kratom, Texas is, yeah. Fratim.

Somebody knows it. Wow. Okay. So people are kind of getting like doped up, but not on alcohol. Right, right, right. Did they tip well there? Not that I've seen.

I've only worked two days so far. Right. Okay. What branch did you serve in the Army? I was a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne out of Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Nice. So you, did you jump out of a lot of planes? I had about 25, 26 jumps before I got kicked out.

Wow. That's about half as many dudes as angels hooked up with. Why did they kick you out? Cocaine. Wow. I'm from Florida. Right, exactly. Do you still do cocaine?

Absolutely. Yeah. Not tonight. How often do you think you do cocaine? A couple times a month. All right. What usually sets it off? What makes you, do you like wake up kind of itching for it,

or is it when things are rough or when you're having a great day? Purely recreational just for fun. Like, if I want to go out on the weekend, I'm like, eh, we're going out. Let's get a bag. Have you got out? gotten a bag since coming to Austin, Texas? Say again? Have you gotten a bag since coming to Austin, Texas?

I got a bump from a guy at the 456 bar who has a picture with you. 456 bar. 456. It's a... Yeah, East Austin. That's that cool little Irish pub type of place. Yeah, it's got a bunch of dead animals on the inside. Yep, yep.

Well, every bar has dead animals on the inside here. Yeah, you're not in Miami. It's a lot like the Florida Keys where I grew up. Nice. Okay. Casey, craziest thing about your life, that's ever happened to you. I don't know if it's crazy anymore, and everybody always says it, but my parents are dead.

Ooh, how did your parents die? My mom is a Miami girl, and she died from drinking and drug use and just... Awesome. How about Dad? Dad survived Vietnam, being in the cocaine cowboys, drug use, drinking, and had a stroke. Oh. Mom wins this battle. Yeah, she does. She does.

Mom died sooner. I love it. All right, Casey. Well, yes, keep writing and performing and get around. Do it. Get out there. Casey Connor. We're going to keep it moving with our final bucket pool of the night, everybody.

We are coming around the corner. This looks like a brand new name. Let's see what happens here. Put your hands together for Simply Courtney, everybody. It's Simply Courtney. Y'all know how hard is to drive Uber when you're a big black dude named Courtney? People don't believe it's my car.

I had a lady once go, are you sure this is your car? You know, you hear a joke and you think she's playing, but she's like, and because I'm a comic, I'm all like, nah, we stole this motherfucker together. Let's go! Happy Black History Month, by the way.

Yeah. All right, so anyways, I'm recently taking a tolerance break from weed. I don't hate weed. I just don't like the things that I do when I'm on it. Like, I'll go to my son's basketball game and cheer for the wrong team. I also do stupid things. Like, forget I'm driving Uber. Have a passenger in the backseat just terrified.

I'm like, I'm about to have a roommate. I think that's about it, y'all. Thank you. A fantastic set from Simply Courtney. Welcome, welcome. This is your first time on the show? Yes, sir. I love it. Where are you from? I'm from Austin. I'm from Austin, Texas. Let me make a little more noise.

I love it. Amazing. One of the locals in the building, baby. I love it. How long you've been doing stand-up? Thirteen years, though. 13 years, and we're just meeting you now for the first time. Incredible.

We've been here for half a decade. Why are we just meeting you now, Courtney? Hey, you know, I sign up every once in a while. On Mondays, I normally hang out with my daughter. I'm teaching her to drive right now. And so that's what I'm normally doing Monday nights. And so I'm skipping hanging out. out with my daughter and teach her to drive to hang out with y'all to know.

Wow. A black man not hanging out with his children. That damn it. Incredible. Oh, really? Happy Black History Mumps. Oh, you jerk. You know how old are your kids?

My daughter's 17 and my son, you're right for this 15 years old, 6 foot four. He's taller to me. Whoa. Yeah. Okay. Is your daughter's birthday? Oh my God. Hey, no, hold on.

This is Red Band. I'm scared on why I don't want to answer that because of you. Yeah, don't answer. September 19th, though. I'm proud of not telling you the year, though. She's illegal. Oh, damn it. So watch out. Damn right.

Absolutely. What do you do for work, Courtney? Just drive Uber? Straight up comedy, no. I suck at Uber. Nice. I'm better at telling jokes than I am at doing Uber. So I make all of my money from comedy and comedy adventures.

So run open mic, run a few shows around town, and then I perform. Perfect. You know what's it? Yeah. Hell yeah. What do you do for fun when you're not doing comedy or raising your kids? When I do for fun. I read and then I also...

Oh, listen to music right now. That's my big thing. So I'm... Why are y'all laughing at that? That ain't funny. No, that's funny. If you want to laugh. But, no, I listen to music.

I'm discovering a lot of oldies right now. I do a little thing at the radio station, 88.7s. I know, I'm not supposed to shout out everything, but that's why I do Wednesdays. And so I'm one of the... What is it? I said that's what you people do.

You give shout-outs. That's true. That's why they're laughing. Shout out to my mom. No, I'm joking. I have to, well, you set it up to him. But now, I'm listening to new music right now. So I'm going back, I'm listening to Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson's Off the Wall album.

And then I'm also listening to Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson's Off the Wall album. Oh, Prince, purple. Not the Purple Rain album, though, but it's another one. So there's another album. I'm going through all of these new ones right now. Oh, you notice that noise. I'm light-skinned and Tony, so I notice it, okay? That's right.

I'm tall and I'm light-skinned and black, so I actually do chains and smoke to take. Second beat, okay? You're tall enough to where you could just do it. You could just reach up and- That part, that part. I love it. Are you still with the baby mama of your 17? No, we're divorced.

We're divorced. Okay. But we are friendly enough that I'm actually staying there tonight. Oh, nice. Yeah, I take the kids to school on Tuesdays, Thursday mornings. And so sometimes, instead of me having to come in early in the morning, I just come in after I do comedy or whatever I'm doing late night. Awesome.

Yeah, so we are amicable. Hell yeah. You're a miccable. We're amicable. Amicable? Amicable? We're civil. Is that the wrong word? Yeah, it's the wrong word.

No, it's not. Yeah, it is. Time out. What words should I have said then? Give me it. Amicable. Oh my god. Right.

Okay, I'm just pronounced the word. It's okay. That's what. Time out. Did you know what I meant though? Yeah, we got it. Okay, then we good then. I'm cool, I'm cool then.

Cox, hot. People be like, oh, what is that? I was like, do you know what I meant though? Okay. You know there's not a girl in the car. I didn't steal the car, right? Got you. It was a joke.

Little context. We're good. I'm messing with you, white man. You're good. Thank you. I am terrified. Hey, I just looked at his watch hard as shit right now by accident. I'm not trying to steal your watch,

but it is nice, though. Oh, thank you. You need an Uber driver later? No, I'm all right. I'm all right. I'll walk home. Thank you. Okay.

He's staying in San Antonio when he's walking, because he's terrified. Oh, you're staying in San Antonio? Sure. Yeah, I was. Wherever you think I'm staying is where I'm staying. I can give you a ride, you know, when you're trying to go. I'm going to San Marcos.

I'm already halfway there. I've done that too, though, by the way. You talked about rooting for the wrong team for your kids basketball? I get high too and I go and I go, that's a nice play by the other team and people get upset with me. But fuck that, you know?

Listen, I'm one of those, if somebody does good, I like the sport. That's what I do too. And I'd be like, good play and we'll be down about 40 and shit. I'll be like, good play. Everybody all looking at me like, why would you say that? I'm like, what the fuck did I say?

Oh, my bad. Down by 40? Yeah. Jesus. It happens. My son's a freshman in varsity and they're figuring it out. He was like one of two freshmen on varsity, and they got their butts handed to him.

But guess what? We're going to be better next year after that and a year after that. So we chill. All right. I love him. I'm cheering. I'm a black dad. Just cheering.

I'm cheering. God damn. We lose it. If we lose about 40, I'm still cheering. So we're good. To the other team. I'm cheering for everybody at this point. Yeah.

Other team, my team. You have a 17-year-old daughter. Is she brought any dates back? Has she introduced to you at any young boyfriends? She's dating currently. She just had a date for Valentine's day. It just happened. So he's chill, he's a cool dude.

Black, black, blacker to me. Black is almost black as his dance. How does that make you feel when she brings home someone blacker than you? On it, honest. He's trying to do it. Honest dancer, honest. I hate the shit's getting recorded, too.

I'm like, I can't even lie. I don't feel any type of way because her mom is currently dating the guy that's the same color. So I feel like they're dating a dude that's the same hue. I'm meant to say hue, not color. Now you're in my head now. It's a mickable, okay, damn it.

I tried. Amicable, all right. Okay, decent. Oh. But now, I don't feel any type of way about it, though. I don't feel any type of way out. I think it's dope. The fact that she has somebody that loves her just as much as I love her,

it's dope as fuck for me, so I'm good. Amazing. Listen to this. Gorgeous. Very impressive set. A good parenting, dude. Very impressive interview. You're getting the blackest joke book

that I have here today. There you go. There goes Simply Courtney making his kill Tony Day after 13 years of doing comedy in Austin. He just made it to the biggest show in the city, in the industry. Well, ladies and gentlemen, here we are. And we have made it. Unfortunately, William Montgomery's dog broke its arm

and had an $8,000 surgery today. Ari Maddie is stuck in Estonia tonight. However, ladies and gentlemen, Ladies and gentlemen, we have one other regular that is just unbelievable. Writes a brand new minute every single week. Out of everyone you saw tonight, you have not seen someone that writes a minute every week. And meanwhile, he is so impressive. Make some noise for the one and only Dark Storm of Austin, Texas.

This is Dedrick Flynn, everybody. Talk to somebody and they say they got simplest and you only find out it's only one or two of them niggas. That's not siblings. This is wrong with the country. We need big family energy back in the goddamn states. There's a certain thing you get when you get... Like, I grew up in a townhouse. We only grew up with two-bedroom townhouse.

We all slept on one king-sized mattress, all six of us. Nigger, wasn't no boogeyman, nigga. We'll jump that nigger. You know what I'm saying? We'll jump. I wish the, nigga, we'll come heart my sister dreams, nigga. We'll jump that nigger. There's a different kind of attitude you get.

Because I grew up in the 90s with the big booty TVs. The remote wars of the 90s. When we used to, when you get punched in the face by a nigga that look just like you. Because he wanted to watch SpongeBob. You know what I'm saying? Like, and you didn't hit the remote. Or if you better like me, if you're real petty, I'll take the batteries out that motherfucker. You know what I'm talking about?

The big booty TVs. You remember the big booty TV? The ones that doubled up as furniture. You can put pictures of your family on top of it and have plants grow down the side. You know what I'm talking about? Sir, the big booty TVs. The ones you can slap them on the ass

to get them to work right like a good woman. You know what I'm talking about the big booty TVs. That's my time. I'm gone, yeah. Dendrick Flynn, with a minute 36 seconds. More work than anybody else tonight. He does it every single week. Amazing stuff, Dedrick. I love the do-rag.

You must be celebrating Black History Month. Yeah. Well, I escaped Boston to come here, because they got a blizzard that's coming through there. And the scientists were saying that this only happens every once in a while. And the reason why it was happening is because it starts off and came through that motherfucker. Because of you?

Yeah, I do that. Let me. What was it, a blizzard from Dairy Queen? Yes. Because of the diabetes and whatnot. I don't have diabetes, Tony. I just like gold. That's right.

That's right. I love the do-rag. It is incredible. Thank you. Absolutely amazing. You look like you and your own auntie. We call them Annie's where I'm from. It's Annie.

Aunties is that white people shit from the Midwest where you from. You like, you don't care about an auntie, but nigger, Annie. an auntie gonna be there for you. An auntie gonna bail you out of jail and not tell your mama. You know what I'm saying? An auntie gonna call your mama

and go bell her out with you. You need an auntie on your side. Hard knock life. Yeah. In Boston. Shut the fuck up, Brad. I'm so mad at you. Well, I'm glad you didn't

ante freeze in Boston. Come on. I love the patriotic underjacket. Yeah, Olympic. I win the Boston. I was sitting with them little cold rednecks, so I got into hockey because them niggas in Boston, their football is hockey.

So the American team, women's and men, won gold in hockey. Shout out of them. Oh, yeah. USA! USA! USA! I was feeling it.

You too. You're doing good, man. I'm not mad at you. Thank you. I appreciate. I'm not mad at you. This is like spy versus spy, the black and the white. You do look like a sleeper agent.

Thank you. Dedrick, how's life? Go on. Fucking so goddamn good, man. I'm so fucking tired. I'm traveling all. I get to meet all these cool people. I'm really living my dream. I think that's what's beautiful.

I just bought Big Buck Hunter from my house. Ooh. Yeah. That's awesome. Big Buck Hunter. Thank you so much. Two guns or one? One gun.

Two guns. Two guns. It's a whole arcade center right there, yeah. What a dream. Yeah, it's $500 on cold. I'm sorry, I missed it. What did you buy? Buck Hunter, dude.

Oh, Buck Hunter. Yeah. When you're shooting the animals on Big Buck Hunter, do you hold the gun sideways? Well, yes, Tony. This is Black History Month. It is. But it does actually, like, because I'm watching John Wick,

that nigga turn his gun to the gun. side and then he's like, okay, black energy. And then I think come in there and kill everybody. So I just kind of hold it like that. I watched John Wick, then I go play Big Buck Hunter on mushrooms. Shit. I love it. It is your mumpf, so, I mean, you will do whatever you want.

I'm about to be on your ass, bro. You look so swirlable. And how dare he- What did you say? Swirliable. Swirlable. You can get that niggins swirley perfectly. Like just alone. You know what it's an adjective, dumbass?

No, that's not a word. I don't think this is very amiculcable. Yeah, I'm making amicable right now. Amicable. I loved the jokes tonight. Dedrick, big family energy. Six kids and a king size. Is that true?

Yeah. Whoa. On the floor. Wow. Yeah. Honestly, we didn't know we was poor because everybody else around us was poor. Yeah.

And then when we got to like middle school and our parents wanted to put us in better schools, like that's when I realized I was poor and that's when I started being bad. Because I was, I don't like when a nigga doing better to me. I hate, that's why I hate niggins with two siblings. Like you, like, because the big booty teeth, the reason why it's important is there's no rewind on a big booty TV. Like when you watch that episode, if you miss something, like if you missed like Raw growing up and you got on the bus and you didn't know what happened versus, you.

in Stone Cold. You couldn't get no pussy. You are correct. I had a big booty TB growing up. A lot of people don't know this, but I was raised extremely poor. In fact, recently, I was sent a picture from an old school friend of my house, which still stands on Florencedale Avenue in Youngstown, Ohio. It is one of the only remaining houses in the ghetto of Youngstown. They took me to do it.

You were there? Yeah, when I went to Youngstown. Really? Yeah. The Uber driver was so excited. Are you serious? I'm dead-ass ears. And they took me all around Youngstown,

nicked. That was the first time I felt like I was in the mafia. Yeah. Because one, they were nice to me. And I know they're not nice in Youngstown, Ohio. I know they're... It's too cold to have, like, a good personality. Yeah.

And I showed someone a picture of my house that didn't know exactly... They don't, you know, not everybody knows the background of Youngstown or whatnot. And it's the only... only house still standing anywhere near it. So I showed someone the picture and they're like, wow, look at all the land that you had.

But what they don't realize is that there's a graveyard of driveways that just go to nothing because every house was arsoned out or burned down. What the fuck was my point? Oh, I had a big booty TV growing up as well. Big ad TV. And our house would get robbed about once a year, once every two years. And they would have to take a bunch of dumb shit,

like an Atari station. one time they took a VCR, just a straight-up VCR, which would be worth, I guess, negative money nowadays. It was 9. It was $2.50 back in the day, and if I do the math, they took everything from you. Yeah. That's what they did. They just came out to.

They did they take the tapes, too? What was you watching on the video? What was your... Well, it's actually funny you mentioned that. My first grade play, I was a star. Do you know about this? Why are you laughing? My first grade Christmas play was in the VCR when they stole it.

And I was all head. I had the same size head that I have now when I was in first grade. The kids used to call me big head. Big mouth. It was big head, but anyway. And it's very depressing that they stole that because it's some of the funniest video footage. I was a star in the play when they're like, you're going to be a star.

And I'm like, wow, this is amazing. I'm going to be a star in the play. But it turns out I was an actual star. like I was like a decoration. It was a glittery star with a piece of yarn. Would you have it? Dedrick. Was it you that stole it? All right. I was not alive

when you were young, Tony. It was just a Christmas. It was like a manger whatever the Christmas play. Christmas, the story of Christmas, Red Band. Oh, that was your big moment? It was, that's the biggest I ever got. I never found any success after that. But my point is, it's interesting because those TVs back then were basically unstealable.

They were like 700 pounds or something insane. I don't think they were instillable. I took a lot of them, Tony. I think you was just a weak-ass king. You shouldn't lift it with your head. If you just put that shit on like an African nigga going to the micahe. Balancing.

You had a dolly. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I got two ACLs. I got a twitch fiber muscle in my calf. That'll help me pick up a TV and get it up out of their real fan.

I think we're talking about two different types of TVs. I'm talking about the big booty TV. I'm strong as fuck, Tony. I was raised in the 80s, not the 90s. I think there was a little upgrade between me and you. Yeah, that was the, you had to change the TV with the pliers and shit. Fact, no, we didn't have a remote. Yeah, we had a dial.

What? I had to walk up to the dial. Wait, are you all the same name? Your mom just lost the remote. No, there was a dial. I remember it. You remember when TVs had fucking dials and the remotes were like... He turned it like this.

Yeah. Oh, okay. The channel, yeah. Remotes were like a brand new, unbelievable technology. And robots were like, whish, push. You pressed a button on the sides. Yeah, it was like a big fucking deal. Oh, man, I'm glad I grew up younger.

This shit had a laser on it. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I guess. Not you, Tony. I'm so sorry for disrespecting you. I've seen you my whole life, nigger. What the fuck? I used to watch you on the big booty TV.

Yeah. Dendrick, you are the fucking man. Everybody loves you. The world loves you. Go see him live. He's on the Killers of Kill Tony Tour. This episode was brought you by prize picks, Quo, Shopify, and ZipRecruiter.

How loud can this place get for the great Steve Rannazizi? He's on tour. Check him out. Doing some dates, steveranazizi.com. How about one more time for the great Joe List, everybody? He's on tour, comedianjoList.com.

Smallball is on YouTube.com backslash Joe List. The drawing from Ryan J.E. Belt is in, and that is indeed the great Steve Rannazizi and Joe List. Let's see what Chris Rogers drew tonight. Joe List. Oh my goodness. You drew Joe List.

How about one more time for the best damn band in all the land? Red band? I'll be in San Diego and June at the American Comedy Co.com. Kill Tony is going to the Intuit Dome in Los Angeles, California,

in May. If you're anywhere near L.A. are in the mood to make a trip to the old relic that used to be one of the best cities in the world. Why not visit it and see Kiltony at the same time?

Go to the ocean where it's now filled with little black beads from melted Teslas that exploded in the Pacific Palisades. A little fun fact for you. It turned into black tiny balls that now line the lower Pacific Ocean of the United States of America. How about one more time for the Kill Tony Band? You can follow them on YouTube and Instagram. Follow Heidi. Heidiregina.com. Love on the line.

And yeah. That's about it. I'm going to the Kennedy. I'm going to do stand-up at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C., doing some other dates, Tony Hinchcliffe.com, some other big announcements right around the corner. Live audience, we love you. Thank you.

Good night, everybody.