KILL TONY - KILL TONY #12

Episode Date: September 12, 2013

Willie Hunter, Sara Mostajabi, Kimberly Congdon, Iron Patriot, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 08/12/2013 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony here at DeathSquad.tv. Please check us out online and on iTunes and Stitcher. Just open up iTunes, search for Death Squad, hit subscribe, and don't forget to rate and review our show. We've got a bunch of Death Squad live shows coming up and you can find them all at DeathSquad.tv. Including me and Tony are going to be in Phoenix, Arizona, Thursday, September 26th at Stand Up Live. Go to StandUpLive.com.

Get your tickets. Please come out. We want to start doing this on a regular basis, and we need to prove ourselves to this comedy club that you guys want Death Squad in your city. Also, the following day, we have a Death Squad Super Show on September 27th. That's a Friday. It's at Woodlands Backyard in Columbus, Ohio. It's going to be me,

Tony Hinchcliffe, Tom Segura, and Christina Pajitsky from your mom's house. It's going to be a great show. And don't forget also that we have the LA PodFest. If you don't know what that is, it's going to be a lot of fun, guys. Pretty much, it's just a bunch of podcasts.

They're going to do it live. I did this last year, and a lot of people just all stay at this hotel. You get a room at this hotel. It's like a huge party. The whole hotel is just podcast fans and podcasters. Me and Doug Benson went crazy. We had a lot of fun.

Anyways, that's October 4th through 6th. It's in Santa Monica. And you can go to LAPodFest.com. I'm going to be doing a live Death Squad show. Might even be a Kill Tony. And then we're also doing a live Pointless with Kevin Pereira. So go to LAPodFest.com. And last but not least, please help us out if you can by buying a t-shirt. a live pointless with Kevin Pereira. So go to lapodfest.com.

And last but not least, please help us out if you can by buying a t-shirt. Go to shopsquad.tv for the limited edition Death Squad t-shirt. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Here's your host, Tony Hitchcliff. Arrows! Whoa, everybody. Hello. Hi, everyone.

Okie dokie. Fuck yeah. And a beautiful Monday to you as well. Believe it or not to you listeners out there, there's a packed crowd here tonight. Yeah. How fun. Standing room.

Another beautiful day. Is this thing getting lower? This thing hanging from the ceiling? Because I swear to God I don't remember being that low. There's a whole thing going on. It turns out these $1 Chinese balls fall apart very easily. I keep them in the

trunk of my car and I can't... The way I go through traffic, it's such a joke that I have these... I could have folded them in on themselves. I could have taken the extra about four seconds to do that and preserve them because they all just fold up but after the show I'm just like, what the fuck?

And I throw it back there and the sword's bouncing around with them and it breaks them. You should. I mean, if they were only a dollar, you should probably have bought like 400 of them. This one was $10. Oh, yeah. And I needed to have it. Is that like, do you protect this one more than the other ones? Like, do you keep this one in the back seat or something? Oh, I always fold that.

That one folds up easier than the really rinky dinky ones. But I need to get more. We'll figure it out. Yeah. Patriot, bring some Iron Patriots here, everybody. Our head of security here, Azel. There he is. Do you think we'll ever really have a barbecue roast ever?

Because you said that's about barbecue roast. Well, that's what it means. Well, that's what it means. He's talking about the translation of the favorite of the hanging. See, I like to think it's just roast, like we're roasting people, kind of. And Tony's noting for the roast. Yeah, I saw that one specifically. There must have been like 50 of them hanging,

and I didn't want to bother these Chinese people that were working there. Even though, you know, that's what they do is they sell these hanging things. Chinatown's amazing by the way. I need to tell you guys that. Go there some afternoon with a couple hours to kill. It's so much fun. It's different than other shitty mini towns of different cultures. Everybody tries to pull

that off but the Chinese are really good at it. You can have a nice lunch. You walk around around see all these freaky chinese they're all like missing limbs and shit it's like so crazy it's fun found out something crazy today i uh i talk about the olive garden a lot on a lot of the podcasts i do it's kind of like an inside joke that's been going on for about a year and a half you know i bring it up on the joe rogan podcast almost every episode death squad somehow i try to sneak an olive garden notorious you've done more advertising for olive garden than they have right and and so they uh they found a way to

hire me but not hire me uh they now have a thing where every uh death squad and joe rogan podcast they sponsor it on youtube and so p so they they throw their advertising in front of it now. So now if you watch a Joe Rogan podcast and there's a commercial, 90% of the time it's going to be Olive Garden. Get the fuck out of here. And I get no money for that. You know what's next, right?

They're just going to come straight to you. Right. Well, I hope so. With just all-you-can-eat tickets galore. You're going to have so many never-ending pasta bowls. See, I don't think so. I think they found a way not to pay me. So I think from now on, if you guys saw this on YouTube, if you're watching this on YouTube and you saw a commercial before,

Olive Garden is the shittiest food that you'll ever, ever eat. Oh, how dare you. I allegedly heard that there's shit in every single one of their fucking meals. They put a little... Actually, there's a Vice documentary you have to watch. It's called Poop Tea. I guess in Korea, back in the day, they used to make this poop tea out of kids' poop. They take a seven-year-old kid's poop, put it in some water, let it ferment, whatever that word is,

and they cook it overnight and stuff like that. And this poor vice reporter from Japan was trying to investigate this poop tea, and she had to drink it. And it is the grossest documentary you'll ever see, and it will be another thing to add to what the fuck is wrong with Asian people. How did we go from Olive Garden to that?

Because it tastes the same. That's how, Tommy. Oh my God. Holy shit. Allegedly. I gotta give it to you, Brian. You are the only man in show business that avidly goes after his advertisers.

You wanna be part of this? You know what? I do. The only shit I get from Olive Garden is people give me Olive Garden gift cards and breadsticks. So I do get stuff from the Olive Garden, but not from the Olive Garden. They physically bring you breadsticks? Yeah, they come to shows and they think it's cute to give me a gift certificate, which is nice.

But I'm not going to eat at that shitty restaurant that many times. Just kidding. I like those breadsticks. I'd like to dip them in the Alfredo sauce. Yeah. They're good. Yeah, the Alfredo dipping the Alfredo sauce. Yeah. They're good. Yeah, the Alfredo dipping sauce is pretty amazing. Yeah, that'll put a smile on your face every time.

Perfect hangover food. Right. Fuck yeah. Yeah, I like that Ice Ass Chronicles that you guys did on Friday with Jason Tebald. I hadn't seen him in a long time. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah. Really fun one on Friday with Jason Tebalt. I hadn't seen him in a long time. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah.

Really fun one on Friday. Yeah, and Tony, I heard that you liked the show House of Cards, and I wanted to tell you I watched all 13 episodes of that back in February. Heck yeah. Do you know that girl on there, Kate Mara, the real hot girl, the little reporter girl that Kevin Spacey had a good time with? Yes. She was on American Horror Story.

Did you ever see her on that show? No. She didn't really turn me on on that, but man, she made me go crazy on House of Cards. Wow. Jesus. Was that a wound? No, those are some cute little feet on that.

We have learned about this growing foot fetish. You know what I want to say is, I noticed on the Joe Rogan experience that I'm not alone, because Grapefruit Simmons He likes feet too That's true He is A.K.A. Grapefruit Simmons

Yeah You should send him a picture of your feet See what he does I don't think he likes my feet Yeah but who knows Maybe Like if you like a foot fetish You probably go buy on feet

It's not like that foot's gonna fuck you You just love the beauty of a foot Yeah yeah yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's how that works. Are you sure? Would you put a guy's foot in your mouth? No, I don't. I like the cute girl's feet. The ballerina or the, you know,

like the misogynist during a nice movie or something. Nothing kinky. You know, you could just appreciate a cute girl's foot. When you dated the, when you had your African-American girlfriend back in Texas, did you ever play with her feet? No, no. We just flirted around. We didn't actually do anything.

But Red Band, you said you liked that. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. That was a quick segue there. You want to get out of that. You didn't like her feet, did you? Were they dry? They weren't really my style.

She just didn't take care of them. But I'll tell you one thing about the female brothers. I do like Halle Berry's feet. Halle Berry has some cute feet. The female brothers? I saw them at Flintstone. What does that mean? Damn.

You know who has bad feet? I'm going to tell you who has bad feet. I was on one of the last episodes of Hannah Montana as an extra, and Miley Cyrus has some ugly feet. What? Ugly. And you would think they would be cute because she has it. And Selena Gomez, she has some ugly feet. What? Ugly. And you would think they would be cute, because she has, and Selena Gomez,

she has some ugly feet. I saw her on a Sears commercial. And you would think that they would, because you see their face, and you go down the body, and you think, ooh, these are going to be good. And then you go,

oh, no. That ain't good. Wait, wait, wait a second. How old was she in this episode? What, are you trying to make me out to be an old man pervert? Well, I mean, like, isn't that show when she was like out to be an old man pervert? Well, I mean, isn't that show when she was like 15 or 14?

Well, no. It was one of the last episodes. It was right before it ended. So she was already ready to get crazy. Are you trying to make me look like a pervert? Is that what you're doing? And meanwhile, he's like, oh yeah, she was 14. No, it was right at the end. So she was getting to where she wanted to go crazy.

I mean, she was starting to develop a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see that video she got in the alphabet soup? It spells out twerk in the little spoon. The little cute part. Then they cut some fingers off and some Pepto-Bismol shoots out. That is a great video.

Do you have to be a big butt to twerk or can the skinny girls twerk too? No, they can't twerk. Can they? No. Sarah dresses't twerk. Can they? No. Is Sarah dresses here? What happens if they try? Huh?

What happens if they try? Like, what comes out? Sadness? I don't know. But that song really was for Rihanna, and it's a house party. It sounds like a love song, but it's about a house party where all kinds of debauchery is going on. Well, no, everyone's on Molly. You've done Molly before.

Yeah, yeah, I heard him talk about that in the song. I did Mushrooms one time a long time ago. I haven't done it in a long time, but maybe I'll be going to Joshua Tree with you next year. Yeah, that'd be great. You've got to wear the suit. Hopefully I'll have air conditioning by then. When you did do Mushrooms, how'd that go for you? Oh, it was very deep, man.

I mean, I've always been pondering the mysteries of the universe. I mean, you do realize, Tony, you're inside your own bubble, and I'm inside my own bubble. And we're each filtering in our perception of reality through our belief system. Fuck yeah, everybody. There you go. It's like, you might not see the same thing I see tomorrow.

You might see Obama get assassinated, and I don't even see that shit. Whoa, whoa, everybody. There you go. It's like, you might not see the same thing I see tomorrow. You might see Obama get assassinated, and I don't even see that shit. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. It's an example. Wait a second. Why would any of us see that? It's just an example, but when you see me, it's just an example. Do you guys realize that if Obama got assassinated tomorrow, we're all going to prison?

Do you guys understand both you saying that now put death squad on some kind of government list? Yeah. No, but what I'm saying is in my reality, I wouldn't even be seeing that. It would be a normal day where Obama's going around smiling and it's normal. But I adjust around. You would see my image adjust that I agreed that I saw the same thing on the news. Now, one of the things that we noticed last week is that an interesting fun fact about the Patriot

is that the actual, if there is, say, a human being under there, he's from Texas and he... What if we took off his helmet once and it was just a fucking robot? I can compare it to I'm kind of like a turtle. I'm inside a shell. I'm like a little turtle in here. What if we're just chipping down

on each other's shoulders the whole time? No. I'm about 5'11". He's from Texas. We noticed that he's accidentally racist at times. No, I'm not. It's kind of like hanging out with that he's accidentally racist at times. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

It's kind of like hanging out with your grandmother. You like the brothers. He calls black women female brothers. Well, I guess I should say sisters, but then you might think it's some other kind of sisters. The chocolate sisters. No, just take off the E-R like all the other words. This is what I'm talking about when I say accidental racism. He's got good intentions.

He has no idea what he says. Don't get us off to a bad start because Willie Hunter's on tonight. We don't want to get out of a bad start with that. See, that makes it weird, too, that you would say that. That's another example of accidental racism. Yeah. Like you're just trying to be positive and move on, but you don't realize how it comes across. We don't want to talk about the brothers.

Willie Hunter is coming on tonight. You know what was so crazy today is I happened to get on a bus that was earlier than the one I usually get on. And at the Orange and Sunset. Don't give away anybody's address here, Patriot. No, at the Orange stop, Willie got on. I was like, that's the guest on our show tonight. Wait a second, you shared the bus tonight with our guest? Yes.

Well, you know what? We might as well just bring him up and get him right into the mix. Tonight's guest is one of my best friends, one of the funniest people I know, the future of whatever he wants to do in all of comedy. One of my smartest pals. He's a writer on Dion Cole's Black Box. He's also a producer on that show.

And he's a regular host here at the Comedy Store. Put your hands together for my pal, the one and only, the great Willie Hunter. Red cousins, sweaty bodies everywhere. Hands in the air like we don't care. for my pal, the one and only, the great Willie Hunter. The great Willie Hunter, everyone. I purposefully just sat down second because and you're the first guest that I've ever done that for

because you're so old school late night that I thought maybe you'd get a kick out of sitting down first. Thank you. Willie's one of my funniest pals. I don't know what to say after that. He has an amazing old school style to him meets new school, and he's always fun. Willie, what's been going on? When you saw the Iron Patriot on the bus, and you knew you were coming to do this show. I was very excited.

What went through your mind? I said, oh, we're doing a show together. You said that to him? Yeah. And what'd he say? What'd you say in your words? I said, what's up? I gave him a little knuckles.

But the thing is, he didn't get off at the same exit as me. I was going to escort him in style to the club and have a little conversation. But he got off on another stop. He waited an extra stop so he didn't have off at the same exit as me. I was going to escort him in style to the club and have a little conversation, but he got off on another stop. He waited an extra stop so he didn't have to walk in. No, no, I got off early. I didn't want to be seen with him. Oh, you got off at a laugh factory. Come on.

The Patriot's our friend. Yeah. I'm sure the Patriot. And private. In public, we don't know each other. Can I ask you something, Willie? Sure. I went to your Twitter page, and I saw a black man,

and I knew I recognized the picture, and I typed in Google black tennis player, and it was Arthur Ashe. Is he like a hero of yours? Because he has a fascinating life. I read about him on Wikipedia today. Wow. How many black people do you know?

No, I didn't know he contracted AIDS in the early 80s. All right, that's enough. Another moment in accidental racism with the Iron Patriot. It was from a blood transfusion. We got to figure out. What we got to do right now is we have to figure out a new set of facts. Accidental racist. From now on.

I don't know if I should be up here It's great It's beautiful Nobody better Another fun fact Why this is even doubly great Is because Willie's one of my friends Who I always

We I mean we have been marinating In this chamber Known as the comedy store For At least together Half a decade Right

Yeah Yeah It's been over five years Since I've been out here Yeah And at least together half a decade, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's been over five years since I've been out here. Yeah. And he's one of the guys that I always do black jokes in front of. Sometimes I pretend like he's not there. A lot of the times when he's walking in, when it's me and a few white guys, I always say,

yeah, because he's black. You know what I mean? I always make a point, and it's always a... And we... It's probably our biggest inside joke. Well, I mean, we have a lot, but one of the bigger ones is that I don't mind being racist to you

because you have the best sense of humor. I think it's because I just say silly stuff and you always capture the ones that sounds... that you can cling racist thoughts to. Something. Yeah. You know? Something.

Like, I was thinking about saying you guys are just monkeying around up here. Right, right, right. And then you of course pounced on that. Why don't you sing a verse

from that one song about bananas real quick. I want to share my banana Share it all with you I want to share my banana Make this love so true I want to share my banana Alright, that's great. There you go. Monkey see, monkey do. Boom. Make this love so true. I want to share my banana. All right, that's great.

There you go. Monkey see, monkey do. Boom. Monkey see, monkey do. I can't believe I almost cut you off. Is that an original song? I almost cut him off before the monkey see, monkey do. So he was writing that song down one night.

Yeah, last episode. I wanted to hit that line, but that's okay. Yeah, that was fun performing that last week. That was the story about two monkeys named Jacob and Latidra. Oh, my God. You know, let's get this comedy thing going on. This is enough racist stuff. That doesn't count on that one?

What? I go, where's the sound? I forgot about it. Maybe we need a better one. All right. I'll find one. We need a better one. Oh, my God.

That's what we'll figure out today. But I also watch the Willie Hunter show on YouTube. You guys should check this out if you haven't checked on YouTube. It's called the Willie Hunter, Will Hunter show. And very good. It was like a Jay Leno with Saturday Night Live or something. I saw Jeremiah. He makes these commercials during the show.

It's funny as shit, man. And Tony was even on there. Tony Grinchcliffe because it was Christmas time. Yeah, it was for your Christmas special. Bill Burr was on there. I was impressed. I mean, it was Christmas time. Yeah, it was for your Christmas special. Bill Burr was on there, and I was impressed. I mean, it's nice. I mean, I liked the whole intro and the music. I loved it.

I made Bill Burr laugh during that. Yes. Thank you. And that's not easy to do. Right. Yeah, you told me you have great respect for him. He's the ultimate. Who?

Bill Burr. Yeah, yeah. You told me, and he said he really works hard at it, too. It's no chance. It's no luck. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's very good. They all do.

All the best ones, too. Yeah, yeah. My favorite thing about Willie, actually not my favorite thing. That would be rude if I said it that way. One of my favorite things about Willie is how he runs. Oh, yeah. It's one of the best things. It's more of a hop, like he wants, like the floor is on fire. It's very of the best things It's more of a hop Like he wants

Like the floor is on fire It's very like Animated It's kind of like Long strides It's like A gallop But yeah

It's like Do you do that Like on purpose Because it's funny As fuck when you do it Sometimes I catch myself Running and I see People laughing

I was like Well I think I'm doing This on purpose now. So I keep doing it and people keep laughing. So now I'm like, is this original or is this like one of those Dean Del Rey type things, like his voice? One time Dean Del Rey did an impression of Dean Del Rey to me. It's like nuts to butts. I was like, wait a minute, this is too much for me.

Dean Del overload. Yeah. I actually, I recently beat Tinder. I got to the end of it. I'm still swiping. I'm still swiping. Yeah. And one of the things is how I beat it,

the boss battle and everything. She said that you saw... She's only been to the Comedy Store once, and there was two people that she said were one of the funniest people she's ever seen, and you were one of them. And I thought that was really cool. Who said this? This boss battle girl that

I met on Tinder. She's only been to the Comedy Store once. Some chick he met. Thank you. My fans. You're one of the two. People on Tinder. There you go.

I was just going to say, I thought that was interesting. I meet somebody and she's pointed you out. All the millions of comics that are here. Sometimes it's weird. You'd be surprised who knows you just randomly at places you know and sometimes they try to say encouraging things but it just hurts like i did la jolla this

past weekend and some guy came up to me he was drunk and he was like man i remember seeing you here two years ago i was like oh thanks leaps and bounds man leaps and bounds i know right so true thank you i guess in la jolla especially it's such a funny call la jolla you really get these people that think they know everything you know what i mean and it's their big night in comedy so they want to share and it's great by the way it's beautiful because sometimes it's the most amazing compliment you've ever gotten in your life but that's rare on the numbers because it almost always has a, one thing that I've noticed is that I can't stand getting a compliment. And then they say somebody else on the show they didn't like.

First of all, that's just negative. I don't want to hear about them not liking somebody else. I kind of want to know. But the worst part is, is when you think that person's funny and they didn't like that person and they just complimented you and all of a sudden that compliment means nothing to you.

So you're like, well, you're a dumb fucking idiot because that person's not even funny at all. Well, I got one that can beat that. When someone comes up, say me and you just perform and then this girl comes up and just goes up to you and is like, you are so funny. And then walk away. Oh, yeah.

And I'm like, what about me? Oh, yeah. or where they go hey can you take the picture? That's always my role the picture guy. Heck yeah. Well you know what goes on here. One of the reasons why Willie

was booked for this why I'm so excited to have him here is because he hosts the hardcore the one and the only the true open mic of la comedy that's the open mic here at the comedy store every sunday monday it's been going on for like 30 some years it's a tradition of uh huge huge reputation and magnitude. David Letterman got his original work from hosting that show and Carson coming in and seeing him host.

And since then, all the people that have really gotten that treatment and have marinated in that for years, like Willie has, he's notorious as the host here, it's always a launching pad. Chelsea Handler did it for a long time. Some of the funniest people that we know,

the Ari Shafirs, the Steve Ranazzis, the Kevin Christys. It's a huge part of being in touch. Bob Saget. Oh, yeah. A lot of them. Jim Carrey. Michael Keaton.

That's a big one. And I heard he was a great host. Argus Hamilton. That's a big one. And I heard he was a great host. Argus Hamilton. That's a big one. Okay, no Argus fans out there. So his input is he sees a lot of comedy. And at that open mic, every three minutes, he's up and down off the stage having to keep a show afloat. And who knows if the person did great or bad. Anyway, he sees a lot of it, and he's used to keeping a show afloat. And who knows if the person did great or bad.

Anyway, he sees a lot of it, and he's used to keeping a sinking ship from falling. So I think he's going to fit into this format perfectly where we draw comedians out of a bucket. They do one minute of perhaps new material, perhaps old material that they might want punched up or something like that. This is how you intro all the shows?

Sometimes it's different. It's one last stabilizing thing before we just lose into debauchery for an hour and 15 minutes or so. So this is their last hurrah. I'm excited. Is this like a Royal Rumble or something? It is. It's always exciting. It's a Royal Rumble or something? It is. It's always exciting. It's always fun.

Sometimes the Patriot has input. Yes. I like the comment on the comedians. I'm a big fan of comedy. You know, sometimes I might have something in common with you, Willie, because sometimes people have race confusion when it comes to me. They think I'm black when I'm really white. Has anybody ever thought you were white when they heard you or something?

Yeehaw! Yeehaw! That's it. Yeehaw! Accidental racism. What up? Jesus. No, I mean, I don't know. I mean, just if they heard you on a podcast or something. It has happened once. Okay, good. Thanks for being honest. I was trying to get a bartender job at a Japanese steakhouse when I lived in Alabama

and I called up and I said, hey, you know, I hear you're inquiring about the job. The guy's like, yeah, come on down, come on down, you know.

So I go on down and I was like, hey, I'm here for the position and he looked at me and he goes like, position filled. So he thought I was a white guy

over the phone and when I got there he's like, no, no, no, no. Yeah, we have something coming now. Sure. Because on Kill Tony 8, this Teddy Ray comedian, he thought I was black.

On Kill Tony 8. Well, yeah, but you're wearing a suit, man. A suit of armor that covers everything. Yeah, yeah, but I got a lot of soul, too. They think I'm like one of the Soul Brothers. This is unacceptable behavior. That's the one. What is that?

That's the one. That might be the new sound effect. What's funny is that I'm using this program, this sound program, and they have little pictures for each sound, and the picture is actually a black guy. For some reason. Oh, yeah, it is.

That's weird. Well, here here we go everybody gets 60 seconds i'm gonna pull our first name out of the uh the bucket sometimes we just talk to them about life and by the way you get one minute and you'll hear the one minute charm which is and if you go over that one minute you keep on going you'll get the west hollywood bear and if you get that bear you're in big fucking trouble. Because you get banned from the club. The first person coming on stage tonight is Daria Lauren. Oh, wow. And this.

Well, it's good that that happened. You know what that sound means. She just got blacklisted from the show for life. And Bobby Lee says she could... Whoa, whoa, from life? For life. That's Bobby Lee. And they're banned from the comedy store for four months.

Man, you guys should show up for this thing. Your first comedian tonight is Lil Bro. Here he comes. Here he comes. I just realized, man, being out in L.A., that there are no gay men out in L.A. Just men that just gave up from trying to get laid. You know, it's like, it's so hard to get laid out here by a woman. They just give up and just, hey, man, you want to sleep with me?

Fuck it. Let's do it. You know, I'm thinking like, when they think they're not gay, like, you may not be gay, but the dude sucking your dick is. Like, you may not be gay, but the dude sucking your dick, he definitely gay as hell. Lil Bro, I've seen you here a couple times. I've gotten to know you over the last... You've been out here how long now? Just like a couple months? Yeah, like four months. Yeah.

Very, very funny. We always make fun of each other in the parking lot. We go off on these... What do we call that? What's it called again? Bagging. Bagging, that's right. We always make fun of each other in the parking lot. We go off on these... What do we call that? What's it called again? Bagging. Bagging, that's right.

That's how cool I am, is that I forgot the name of it. But yeah. So I'm a little bit biased towards thinking you're hilarious anyway. Thanks. Well, you know, anyway. I like your shirt. There you go. How long have you been doing comedy?

21 years. 21 years? That was just something I wrote, though. Right. Wait a minute, you've been doing comedy for 21 years? Yeah, I started in 92. Wow. In Houston.

Consistently for 21 years? 21 years, never took a break. Really? Never. So you used to hang out at the Laugh Stop. I won Houston's Funniest at the Laugh Stop. I won Houston's Funniest at the Laugh Stop. Oh, that's cool. I used to be a regular at the Laugh Stop. And the Comedy Showcase and the Laugh Spot.

Yeah. I've done some touring. The Laugh Stop was probably one of the best comedy clubs, in my opinion, in the world. And then they closed down and they took all the tables and all the chairs and everything to this other place and put it exactly like how it was. So you walked in and you were like, wait a second, this is not the same. It was a trip, man.

They moved from Allen Parkway to Wau. Yeah, I was there when it was upstairs on Wau too. I used to do some nights up there. 21 years, so that's mostly out of Houston and on the road or mostly out of Houston? No. Mostly on the road. Right. Like I would tour but you know.

Like you just opened up for Earthquake. Yeah. Earthquake. Chappelle. I was on the block party tour with Dave Chappelle. Doug Stanhope. Wow. Felipe Esparza before he blew up. Man Felipe was real cool. Like I know a lot of cats.

It's awesome. You're a funny dude, little bro. What do you want to do now? How much material have you compiled? I've actually done two hours at the last stop. I have it on video. Two different hours? No, two hours straight.

Oh, one two-hour set. Wow. I have it on DVD. Holy shit. That's crazy. Well, if any big producers are listening out there, buy Lil Bro's two-hour special and then sell it on Netflix.

That's like a motion picture. That's like Jurassic Park, but with Lil Bro. And who wouldn't love, I'm sure... Hey, Iron Patriot, wouldn't you love it if Lil Bro was in Jurassic Park? I want to say something about him.

No, don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Tony, do you think it's dangerous for a black guy to do gay jokes? Because they're kind of known for being homophobic a little bit. That's a great question right there. The racist is worried about me being homophobic. What the hell?

This is unacceptable behavior. I mean, I know how anything goes. I'm just saying. I mean, you know what I mean? You're just kind of flirting with me. I love how he tries to rationalize everything in the end, but in no real way it just trickles into

nothingness. You know, I'm just trying to... Anyway. So you're trying to ask him, like, what's the point of the joke? No, I was just asking Tony if he thinks that's dangerous because a lot of black guys are already kind of homophobic, and when he's

talking that way, it might rub some of the people in the crowd wrong. Not me. It makes it relatable for me. It's relatable now. Oh, okay. And I'm not homophobic, but I don't like gay guys that's all aggressive. You know, while you're standing in line, hey man, hey.

Yeah. I know what you're saying. I mean, I don't think you're that way I'm just saying if it might rub some people in the crowd wrong no no I have a gay cousin so it's okay I love how quickly the patriot dismissed it well oh okay gay cousin

alright well fuck yeah that's Lil Bro everybody are you on twitter or something yeah at Lil Bro L-I-L-B-R-O-U-G-H. Wow, you spelled bro the hardest way possible. That's my last name.

My dad is Big Bro, and I'm Lil Bro. Oh, I got that. Any shout-outs you want to give? Nah. There he is, everybody. Lil Bro, everyone. It's interesting to start off with a guy that's been doing it 21 years. That's a first.

That's different. You know, interesting thing about that comedy club, opening weekend, I was there for a show with somebody else, and me and this girl I met in the audience fucked on the couch in the green room, and she left the spot there. And then we came back like six months ago and it was still there.

Whoa. That's gross. Your next comedian, everybody, is Kyle Everett. Kyle Everett, are you here? Well, then you're blacklisted. There you go. That's when you know somebody's been blacklisted. There you go. That's when you know somebody's been blacklisted. Do you remember all these people?

You write them down? Yeah, they go in a separate pile. Right next to ranch dressing for some reason. I don't know why that's there. Oh, that's not ranch. I can't stop staring at it is the weird part. This little spot of ranch dressing. Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't, don't, don't.

Don't do it. I know. Red Band loves turning into a seven-year-old sometimes. No! Oh, my God. Oh, that better have been your ranch, bro. Ari Maness. Ari Maness, everybody.

Funny rising young talent. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Hit it, Patriot. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Hit it, Patriot. Poor Ari. He's been working on this great bit that... All right, what are you, his manager? That seems like a good idea.

I got him booked for the rest of the night. He's a meltdown. Then after that, he's going to the tea leaf. Anyway. This voice in the darkness, his biggest fan. He's in like that dark corner over there. He took the tomb bust. All right.

Put your hands together for Andrew Clements. You got to be shitting me wow this room is jam fucking packed that's awesome hit it patriot what's great is when uh this this fucking thing like really blows up like out of proportion and these people are like, Hey man. So what's up with the whole blacklist thing? And I'm like, you're done for life, dude. And this is on like five nights a week.

Anyway, Oh, mid saying everyone, I have high hopes. Oh yeah. Indians are always here. What's up buddy? Thank you.

I just went to a dry wedding. I think a dry wedding says a lot about the bride and groom. Mostly, it says that they don't give a fuck about you. Thank you.

I'm dating right now. The only thing I miss about being single is fucking other women. Thank you. The inventor of Ritalin admitted on his deathbed that he made up ADD.

I would have kept reading, but I got distracted. Thank you. Finally, I want to bring back shows from the 80s that haven't been around for a while and just do a couple tweaks

to them. I want to bring back the show Knight Rider and take out all of the car's dialogue. So it just looks like a schizophrenic David Hasselhoff talking to his car. Thank you. That's awesome.

Omid. Omid. That's hilarious. Omid? Omid Singh. Fuck yeah. How long have you been doing stand-up? Six years. Wow. That was hilarious, man. Yeah. Omid is Omid Singh. Fuck yeah. How long have you been doing stand-up? Six years.

Wow. That was hilarious, man. Yeah. Omid is very funny. He does the comedy show, Open Mic, a lot, headlines that show, and he always does very, Six years in LA? No, four in New York and two here. Yeah.

How fun. That's great. You know you don't need that paper. Is it just kind of like a crutch? It kind of helps you feel more safe because you got it there Jesus Christ busting balls over there

that's what he does he's a mind fuck I don't think he needs it it's like a security blanket do you need the suit hey guys take it easy take it easy oh my god

You're right, people have been suggesting that I Get up and do a minute But I think that's better time for you guys to use There you go, great answer there Great answer I already get enough time to talk I'm doing comedy all night I'm more good at conversational comedy

I don't know if I'm good at this type of shit where you stand up there for a minute fuck I love how he just pushes his microphone farther and farther back because he gets excited through the show yeah man that's funny as fuck that Knight Rider one is unbelievable

I mean that's, that's almost... That's almost an empire. I almost want to go home tonight and edit all the shit out of the episode just to see what it looks like. Just tag me on it. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm not going to really do it,

but that's how cool the idea is. I would say that that's something you should do is make that video. Absolutely. That would be funny, like a little video of that. It's funny as a joke, but the reason why is because it's funny. Visualizing it, seeing it, you know. Right.

And so the whole marketing thing would be, you know, it would be something that I feel like would get big on the Internet because the word of mouth of that, if the video's cut together properly, the word of mouth works because they laugh when they hear it. This video I watched, man, you know. Yeah. Do you have more...

All right. Have you done more examples? Because that's just a good idea, a good formula anyway. Like Three's Company and Ed Al the Girl, so it's just him and Larry creeping out with some old guy. The other example was to take Disney characters and take out the Disney character and put the person

who's doing the voice. It'll be like, oh, Gilbert Godfrey. It's not as good as the Knight Rider one. Right. Okay, let's keep it moving. He's at BrownMan3000. If anybody wants to send him a tag via Twitter, at brownman3000. That's his Twitter name?

Yeah. He went for it. I'm sorry. It was taken already. Are you a brown man? Well, he wanted to be brownman3001, but that was taken. What is it, like the Price is Right?

Yeah. I've seen this guy before. Put your hands together for Brad Sachs, everyone. Here he is. O-H. I-O. Thank you, guys. I recently got engaged.

Thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Get married in a year. One year. I said to my fiance, hey, before we get married, can we make a sex tape? And she was like, wait, have you seen my sex tape? I was like, no, no, no.

Can we make a sex tape? She was like, absolutely. Who's going to play you? Yeah, like she's casting my sex tape. Like, bring in the next Richard Simmons-looking motherfucker. Thank you, guys. That's all I got. That's the bit.

Do you remember Mr. Body? No. In the 70s? Good Body. Mr. Good Body. No. Oh, Google him. He would be a great Mr. Goodbody.

It's where this guy put the word, this outfit, that you could see all his muscles or something like that. And he used to be really big in the late 70s, early 80s. I've never heard of him. You just hang out with kids. It's weird. Sounds great. Are you really getting married?

Yes, I am. When's your wedding? Next August. Next August. Yeah, I am. When's your wedding? Next August. Next August. Yeah, one year. Wow. Yeah. Did you actually ask her if she wanted to make a sex tape?

I didn't, no. Were you thinking? Total bullshit. Were you thinking about it? No. Did you hide the camera and just not tell her? No. Do you think about that?

No, I was kind of afraid because I know I would probably come in like two seconds and then that would be, I would just have to put it on loop. Heck yeah. Yeah. It makes good Vine video. Yeah. It would be a great Vine. I'm going to use that.

There you go. It's good. There you go. You can release your sex tape on Vine. On Vine. That's it. There you go. There you go. You can release your sex tape on Vine. On Vine. That's it. There you go. See?

I actually already do that on stage. Sorry. Really? Do you do that? Yeah. Oh. All right.

Boom. How about that for the ultimate twist? Hey, here's one you can do. I already do it. Yeah. You also kind of look like Art Garfunkel.

Thank you. Can you sing Bridge Over Troubled Water just a little bit? Have you ever heard of The Greatest American Hero? Yeah, people tell me that. I've heard that one. Not that many people know him. You do have an interesting look. I don't know exactly what it is.

It's almost like a... It's like the guy from Ghostbusters 2 that talks to the painting. A little bit. A little. Viggo! I will do what you tell me, Viggo! If he was a Jew,

I guess. He is a Jew. There you go. Jesus. Who is that? Jew man back there? That's Jew-opedia right there. Oh, it is a Jew. There you go. Who is that? Jew man back there? That's Jew-opedia right there. It is Jew man. That's our autistic movie expert, Joshua Meyerowitz, everybody. Put your hands together for Josh.

He is Jewish. He's Jewish. Talking about he is Jewish. Movies needed one more name dropped for another good Jew in it. Actually, he's Jewish. Like movies needed one more name dropped for another good Jew in it. Actually, he's Jewish too. Even the bad ones are Jewish. There's a lot of Jewish people

in movies. Are you Jewish? Yes, I am. 100%? Yeah. Is your fiance? She is. She's a Jew. It wasn't a big deal to me though. I would have... 100%? Yeah. Is your fiance? She is.

She's a Jew. Keeping it pure. It wasn't a big deal to me, though. I would have... How long have you guys been together? A couple years. It got serious a couple... We've known each other about four years, and then probably got serious, I'd say, like two years ago.

And here we are. Getting married. Getting engaged. Thank you. Is that her in the back? No, no. and here we are getting married getting engaged thank you is that her in the back? no no she's not here what are you most excited about about this upcoming

like unit union? that's a good question you know it's sort of a load off my mind now you know like I don't I've sort of turned that off as far as going out to find, you know, trolling for women and all. That's over.

And by the way you look, you would literally be trolling. Not for women, just trolling. That's too much. That's a troll. That's bullshit. He would be trolling. There is something very troll-y about you. Thank you, Tony. I appreciate that.

You also have a look that says both Pornstar and Game of Thrones at the same time. You could release a porno just called Winter is Coming. I'm going to use that. Actually, I already said that. You said that. I wrote it this weekend. I did it

on Saturday night for the first time. Sorry, guys. Yeah, we're not doing anything but doing our material. I know. That's the first time that's ever happened. Brad. Well, thank you. Keep rocking and rolling. Good luck on your wedding luckily you have a year

be careful yeah I have 11 months to get out of it basically right don't make a baby pull out

she wants a kid bad oh no cause she's a little bit older she's like let's just get this going right away so she's a little bit older

how old is she she's 74 she's 39 39 she really wants a baby right away. She's a little bit older. How old is she? She's 74. She's 39. 39. She really wants a baby. She wants it like now. She's like,

just put it in, just shoot it right inside me. Just do not pull out ever. Oh my God. You should talk about that. Yeah, definitely. What's your strategy for that? I do.

How do you avoid not having a baby? I'm ready. I said, fuck it. Because I'm 39 too. So I like kids. I said, fuck it, because I'm 39 too. So I like kids. I figure if I don't do it now, then maybe... You're 39?

39. Wow. And you're from Ohio, right? I went to Ohio State, but I grew up in New Jersey. That's great. That was close. Graduate in 93? I graduate high school? Yeah. 92. 92. Yep. Wow. Yeah. 92. 92. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Wow. Yeah. She wants a kid so bad, she's got an app on her iPhone that took our pictures and morphs them together and spits out a picture of what the kid will look like. I was six years old. Yeah. I know, man. I feel old as fuck when I hang out here.

I'm like, Jesus. It's so hard for me. One thing I'm learning as I grow up is that it's hard to play it cool when you're like, say for example, 29. And you're here. You're just walking away.

Assuming that this is going to be a huge insult. I don't want to take everyone's time. You're fine. Stay in the pocket, Brad. Don't freak out now. No, no. I don't want everyone to be like, hey, that dude's... Remember, there's a lot of people already blacklisted.

That's true. Willie... And that's just the list of blacks that the Iron Patriot doesn't like. All right, now... See what I mean? I always set him up for those jokes. God. You guys realize I'm 39 also.

You're making me feel bad. Well, actually, I did want to get back to it. I'm glad you segued me back into that thing because I'm finding it harder. Right now, I'm 29. Okay, you guys are 39. Willie, how old are you? I turn 27 next week.

Wow. As a girl, you'd be too old for me. Yeah, Willie's a cougar at this point. Right. But I find it so hard to play it cool when somebody says 39 like i just want to be like oh god but i can't do that you know or else i'm a dickhead i just do it yeah i'm sorry that it hurts your feelings they know how old they are by the way there's gonna be

i'm gonna be 39 eventually hopefully if i i, I'm gambling on the fact that all these surgeon generals are wrong about the cigarettes that I smoke packs of a day. And hopefully they're wrong. And I'm going to make it to 39. And there's going to be some shit-talking little punk. Make it to 39? Yeah, you're going to be talking shit about me being 50. Oh, yeah. That's pretty crazy.

It continues. Oh, my God. That was Brad Sachs, by the way. He's at Brad Sachs on Twitter talking about my fiance. That's Brad Sachs. S-A-C-H-S. Interesting last name.

Put your hands together for Michael Linoci. Hey, what's up guys? My girlfriend, she dumped me And then right after she dumped me A few weeks later she started dating a professional football player So after I found out I went home and I deleted him off Madden Fuck you bro, You could have her, but you won't be a part of my franchise.

I've won like five Super Bowls in a row. I was at my commercial agent's office and we filled out this survey where you had to rate yourself one to four in areas that you're really good in, like stand-up, improv. And then there's questions on there like hula-hooping. Like, who the fuck's a level four hula-hooper?

Like, that's so stupid. Then there's one on there that's called fire-eating. I'm pretty sure with fire-eating, you're either a four or you're dead. There's no in-between with fire-eating. Like, there's no one walking around with half their face missing. Like, what the fuck's wrong with that guy?

Oh, he's a level one fire-eater. Okay. All right, guys, That's my turn. Michael Lanucci. Wow. Perfect minute. Nailed it, right? 59? Oh, wow. One minute, point two. I've been practicing all week.

Wow. I was like, let's get this perfect. What was the first joke again? Madden joke. There's definitely more to that. That's definitely tag worthy. I just met somebody that their ex is a really famous professional football player. So I'm kind of like in a backwards version of that right now.

I'm thinking like the ex-boyfriend is like a guy that he's actually, I think, 320 pounds. And he's like seven feet tall. I mean, it's... So there's a lot of material you could write about that. 320 pounds and he's like seven feet tall. I mean, it's, imagine having, so there's a lot of material you could write about that. Yeah. Yeah,

I kind of want you to keep going with that scenario. You know, like, you delete him off Madden, like, he's still fucking your girl.

Right. So you still lose at the end. Yeah. I was hoping, like, go to that route, you know?

Right. That, I mean, there's so many places you can go. Finish the story. Right. She left you. Okay, I got you.

You know what might be great? This is weird. Now there's way too much set up. Forget it. No, it's like maybe there's something in the fact that you hope that they make a baby because with his physical genetics and her, that's how close I am to the tag. The only thing I was thinking is how horrible it would be if I forgot to delete him off Madden and I was playing one day and he intercepted me or something.

I feel like that would be worse. Fine, you fucked her, but to now intercept me too? That's rubbing it in my face. I've played with it, but I don't know. Well, yeah, that part should definitely be somewhere mixed in there. Or you play as him and you make him just a complete idiot. Make him go in circles and stuff like that, throwing the ball and hitting referees.

Right. Change his position to a kicker. I'd change all his attributes. Horrible. Yeah, that's fun and then the second joke was about the questionnaire you're going to be working on advertisements and commercials and there was a question about a hula hoop

yeah I remember because I wrote it that reminded me when I went to Central Casting. I had to fill out one of those things. They ask you if you'll get naked and different weird questions. Did you say yes?

No. Why wouldn't you get naked on film? Well, I'm scared my banana might just shoot right up in the air. It'd be embarrassing. Do you trim down there? Do I what? Do you trim down there? Do I what? Do you trim down there?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I trim it. I keep it looking good. Awesome. Did you notice that Red Band, just a side note, did you notice they just upheld the court decision that they got to continue wearing rubbers in porn films? Yeah.

They tried to fight it. They have to keep that peel on the banana. Oh, my God. This whole banana reference with your dick is so creepy. Oh, my God. Not as creepy as that laugh, though. No, don't call me creepy. I hate when people call me creepy.

Oh, my God. You won't like it when I'm creepy. Oh, man. I think we just learned a lot about what he looks like under that suit. Come on, I'm a good looking guy. I hate it when people call me creepy. Come on, man. America needs me right now.

Don't be putting me down like that. He's a level four creepy right there. Oh, shit. Yeah, how long have you been doing stand-up, Michael? Three years next month. Wow. Where are you from? South Florida.

Oof. Eek. Wow. Yeah. Did you start there? No. You started here? Yeah.

Wow. Well, cool, man. Well, keep rocking. That's funny stuff. Definitely extend that Madden stuff. You got a whole thing there. I really like the Hulu fire thing. Thank you, guys.

Yeah. Then there's probably more on top of it. There's so much you could do with that. A football player. Fucking, I don't know. Put your hands together for Carlos De Jesus everybody

Carlos is an employee I love that music what's up guys I miss hanging out with Asian people I do I used to have a lot of Asian friends

then I stopped break dancing and they all went away after that it's crazy I work here at the comedy store I'm a bouncer And I stopped break dancing. And they all went away after that. It's crazy. I work here at the comedy store. I'm a bouncer for some reason.

I don't know why they chose me to do this job. Sometimes they make us work, and I'm not a big fan of that. The other night we had an urban show. It was a Tuesday. And basically what that is, it's a black show. So there was this one white guy in the audience, and he's there with a black woman. And so the host goes around, and goes around he's like hey how long have you been with a black woman for the white guy responds how long or what's your problem n-word yeah completely fucking tense completely tense

everybody's looking at me in the room like you should go do something before like anything happens and i'm thinking like i'm not gonna run down there and get my ass kicked alongside with him you know i didn't say shit it's not my fault my whole move was just to record it upload it to world star hip-hop and then leave that's all i was gonna do that's my joke guys there you go yeah um yeah yeah bless you God bless you what are you allergic to over there fuck yeah that's strange

no her allergies just now fuck yeah so you told it like That was the strangest sneeze I've ever heard. No, her allergies just now. Fuck yeah. So you told it like a, that was probably like a true story. Yeah, you said it like a rant. Everybody wants to know, everybody's going to want to know what ends up happening after that. Like the fact that your goal is to put it in Worldstar Hip. Sounds like the setup to a bigger joke. Does that make sense? It does make sense. What happened after that? Well, basically

the guy who said the N-word puts on an Iron Patriot suit and walks away. That's the joke. Well, I mean, we need the Iron Patriot to get a little bit more famous before it works on stage. Or just show up to all of his shows.

Right. I see what you're saying. So what did happen after he said that? Well, basically, like, because the guy has been with this woman for 10 years. So when he saw it was talking to her, like, he saw that, like, this guy isn't really racist. He was just saying some shit to, like, kind of to kind of stir it up, get along with them. I don't know why you would do that. But it was like that.

And so he just basically deterred it before anything happened. That's all that happened. So nothing happened. No, yeah, nothing. Everybody was laughing because he saw this killing it. It was tense. Nobody was laughing. It was just kind of like nothing happened.

Nobody got their ass kicked that night. Right. It would have been me too. Was it like a little white guy or a big white guy? It was like skinny, probably about six foot tall German guy. How skinny? Like really skinny?

Like yours guys. Like my size skinny? Man, that guy's got a huge set of balls. Yeah, yeah. Wow. That's a huge set of balls. Yeah. My size skinny.

Yeah. Dropping the N word at an urban show? Yeah, I know. I didn't know what to do either. I was like, what the fuck? So you have to immediately assume that this guy has a weapon on him of some kind. I'm surprised shit can go down. Man.

I just love how you call it an urban show. I've never said that. That is a very inside-the-business type of terminology. They call it an urban show. What would you call it besides that? Yeah, Iron Patriot. What would you call it? I don't know.

I knew what he was talking about when he said that. No, but if you had to use another word for urban, what would you choose? Yeah. The Harlem Globetrotters. I don't think you understood the question. Let's say you're a thesaurus, okay? And black and urban are already taken. What would be your next descriptive word?

Roots the next generation. Oh, my God. This is unacceptable behavior. This is unacceptable behavior. Oh, my God. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Wow.

That's amazing. Saddest part is that's pretty good. Yeah. Can't do anything about it. Just hope that no one calls me that. What would you have done had you been working the door and you heard you know, I mean

obviously you wait and you I would have escalated. Get him! Oh yeah. And I stay in the back. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, you join the group. That's what I always do. Yeah, but I would have been the only light-colored guy

in there. But you'd have been down for the cause. Yeah, I mean, I just don't want to get my ass kicked. Yeah, because you join the people. Have you ever been part of a stomp out? Yeah, they're great. They're awesome when you're the person throwing kicks in. That's true. I'd be the last one in.

Yeah, no one goes to break up a stomp out. You join a stomp out. That's true. That's true. That's very true. That's very true. And that's what I would do in that situation. Fuck yeah.

I would just yell out, get him! Take all that shit and turn it into something with that whole thing and that whole story. That's Carlos de Jesus. You on Twitter? I don't have Twitter. Oh, he doesn't have Twitter, everybody. There you go. Put your hands together for Tommy Lee, everyone. I know it's Tommy Lee.

Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I hate getting cold or creep too man It's terrible It's the worst dude It sucks I got called a creep the other day For no reason I bumped into you And you just spilled your drink all over me And I'm the creep somehow

It's the worst thing ever As a guy getting called a creep It's the C word It's offensive Because your night is over after that Because every woman just agrees with that woman that you're a creep for the rest of the night. And they just validate what she said to you.

And they're just like, yeah, I bet he touches kids too. Yeah. Oh, those are child molester shoes right there. Yeah. Oh, my God. What the fuck are child molester shoes? It's like, what did I do? I'm just standing here.

That's it, guys. Thank you. Yeah, those aren't child molester shoes. Because you had the same pair on? No. Oh. Wait a second here. Let me see if I got my child molester shoes on.

There are a little bit more. I think I got child molester socks on. Oh, yeah, you do. Holy shit. You boys like lemonade? Let's talk about that shirt for a moment, shall we? The Chad Molester shirt? Yeah.

Like, did your dad give that to you? No, I bought it. Actually, my mom got it for me. There you go. Yeah. I like it. Have you been called creepy before? Yeah I'll take that as a yes

Oh my god The power exploded from your spinal cord I feel like it's happened to a lot of guys for no reason It never happened to me No it really doesn't. I know when I'm over getting towards that threshold of being creepy. I don't think you know. I think it happens to you and Foot Fetish McRacist next to you over there.

I have a great question. Patriot, do you have a yellow dress shirt like this hanging up in your closet for when you're not in the suit? I have a shirt similar to that. I probably iron it better when I take it out, though. Oh, damn. No, he didn't. You just got burned from the Patriot. He doesn't even have any weapons.

Oh, that's great. I love that sound. The burn sound? You just got burned. I love sound effects. They're stupid. They make me so happy. Fuck. Tommy, what did you talk about? I can't

critique something you don't remember. Oh, yeah. Did you write that just now? Creep. No. Okay. That was weird that you used the creepy thing. That's a good callback.

You say the word creep so many times in the bit that I'm wondering if you're sponsored by TLC or something. Are you trying to bring that song back? Is this subliminal marketing? No, no. How often would you say if you had to guess per month, does somebody call you a creep? Oh, it's not like a regular thing.

It's happened before, and it just sucks. Did it happen one time when somebody spilled coffee on you? No, it was at a bar, and I was waiting in line for the bathroom, and a girl bumped into me and spilled a drink on me, and she got mad and called me a creep. For no reason. What did you call her? I was like, I'm sorry.

That's so funny. Did you apologize before or after she called you a creep? I think after because I was like, I thought I did something wrong, but I didn't. I don't know why. I just said I'm sorry. Wow, you're such a pussy. I know, I know.

Totally, my response would have been, I'm not a creep. You're a fucking dumbass. You just spilled your drink on me, you dumb piece of shit lady. Lady. Clean it up at the end. Lady. Lady.

Bitch lady. Lady. Fuck yeah. I would lose that shirt, bro. I really would. This is a part of the show I like to call lose that shirt. I think everyone's mom is a part of the show I like to call Lose That Shirt. I think everyone's mom says you look good in yellow,

but that doesn't mean you should wear it. Right. Okay. It's all right. You just don't wear the shirt. Yeah. Save it for Easter or something. I like pastels.

It is an Easter shirt, isn't it? Yeah. Thanks. He's a Tommy Lee comedy on Twitter. That's Tommy Lee. I think something we've learned from this show is the way you dress is just as important as your jokes. Remember that guy that had the hole in his pants and stuff?

It definitely works for you. Yeah, if you look very tight, like if you're dressed up for church, you're going to give out kind of a vibe of that's why you're on stage. That's definitely a church look, which also can be filed under pedophile. Church and pedophile go hand in hand,

so it sort of went full circle there. So there you go. Your next comedian is Eddie Maldon, everybody. Eddie Maldon as we move forward. Oh, he's coming from deep in the gullet. Look what happened. He had a son that she just

couldn't take. Alright. Hey, guys. How's it going? If I shiver a little bit, I'm not nervous. I get cold really easily because I am what doctors call a pussy. I've got to stop going to my dad for medical advice, but that's all right. Let's see, what do I want to talk about? A lot of my friends are having kids, which is kind of weird. I'm very young, and I know I'm not ready to have kids.

I've got it all planned out, though. I know what I want. When I have kids, I want to have three beautiful black daughters. Yeah. Or I may just hire some backup singers. We'll see. We'll see how it goes. One was for you, Iron Man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting pretty excited, though. Pretty excited. I'm working on a book. I'm really into photography. It's coming out soon. You guys can look for it. It's going to be called There's Waldo.

It's just him hanging out at the beach, chilling, you know, you know. Fantastic. All right, we'll end it on that. Let's do that. Well, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, you made the bear come out. It ends on the kitty meow. Nice to meet you, Eddie. How long have you been doing standup? About three,

four years. Yeah. From here? South Florida. I moved out here about a year ago. There's a lot of comedy in South Florida. Yeah, I guess it's all happening. Not really. A lot's a lot of comedy in South Florida. Yeah, I guess it's all happening.

A lot of people taking their talents to South Beach. Yeah, I guess LeBron started something. Heck yeah. Are you a fan of the Heat? I'm not a big Heat fan. What's your favorite thing about South Florida? Favorite thing? The racism.

I'm on the right side of the fence, so that's kind of nice. What side of the fence is that? White. Why am I put up here in this situation? Is this like a big joke on me? This is unacceptable behavior. Thank you. All right.

That's the one. I love that. Uh-oh. What do they call that. Yeah, that's the one. I love that. Uh-oh. What do they call that sound, that thundering one? Thunder. Oh, that's so great. Fuck yeah.

First of all, South Florida is an interesting place. Have you ever been there, Iron Patriot? I think it's funny how he talked about... No, I haven't been. My mom's been to Florida. She worked with JCPenney, but I haven't been there. She went with who? With JCPenney.

She used to work with JCPenney. The JCPenney? Yeah. Steve JCPenney? Wow. Wait a minute. You said model? My mom. Went to Florida with JCPenney? Yeah, she worked for JCPenney andney, and she went to Florida where there was like a model shoot. She was in charge of the artwork and for the photography, the models and stuff like that.

But I've never been to Florida. I've always wanted to go. Was she upset when you worked at Sears? That is a great question. I can't believe you had that. That's a great question. If you're believe you... That's a great question. If you're hanging out with JCPenney and then your son...

But I wanted to say something. You know what I thought was funny about your joke? You basically said you want your wife to give birth to the Supremes. Stop in the name of love before you break my heart. I could tell he almost didn't commit to that second part.

Halfway through. Before you break my heart. That could tell he almost didn't commit to that song. Halfway through. Before you break my heart. That's what the Jackson father did. Then you had to follow through after he started. That's not to weigh off. People do that shit. You know, there's other groups other than just that one group. You know that, right?

Yeah, yeah. That you saying the Supremes actually falls under accidental racism with the Iron Patriot. It's just like that one group. Three black women. You could have said TLC maybe or something. I would probably just lose that joke. Yeah. I was going to say that. That's a pretty bad joke.

I don't know. It seems like it's unnecessarily... I'm not saying this as a black man. I'm saying this as a comedian. When you say you want three black kids, I don't know. It seems like it's unnecessarily... I'm not saying this as a black man. I'm saying this as a comedian. It's like when you say you want three black kids. It's like, oh, here we go. A little much? Yeah. And then when you get to the actual payoff, it's like, that's not even funny.

Why even throw that pee in the pool? Unless it's fucking awesome and it backs up even the idea. I don't know. My thing is, if you're going to be racist, be racist. Right. Some more racist.

Hey, hey, Willie, Willie. Not like Kramer, though. Don't go that crazy. Jesus, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black? Literally. Pot calling the kettle the N-word. Oh my God. That was just a... That was a cackle. pot calling the kettle the n-word oh my god that was just a

that was a cackle like a white hate cackle a bit of a witch fuck yeah yeah there's something maybe there's something there like if you want three black daughters that you could raise them to be

background vocalists or something. I think if I sell it better, a lot of it is on the turn. I'm kind of trying to set up a real wholesome kind of set up and then twist it. So I might have rushed it. It's a racist joke. What are you trying to be wholesome about?

It's a racist joke for the kids. I'm sorry. I agree with Willie. If you want to try to rewrite it, whatever. Might toss it. Maybe just write a different joke. I do like where your head's at,

and I know where you're getting from point A to point B, but maybe it's a different type of subject scenario. But I know where you're going. It's a funny premise, but it's just maybe choose Asian. They're easier to pick on. Just kidding.

I think you have fun. You have a good delivery system. Everything else is good. Totally. That seems beyond three years. Definitely just keep chipping away. Do you write a lot? You know what I mean? Totally. I got the lock. That seems beyond three years. No, thank you. Definitely just keep chipping away.

Do you write a lot? Yeah, yeah. I got a lot of... Those were mostly like one-liners. Right. I have longer bits and more stuff like that. How much material, like if you had to max out and do as much? Like good, like tested stuff, probably like 20, 25.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. So. There you go. That's great. He's right on par. Three years. Eddie Maldon, everybody. He's at Eddie Maldon on Twitter.

This is something different. Mo Galley, everyone. Mo Galley. It's Mowgli. Mowgli. This is the super racist guy. I'm not afraid of racism. He said the N-word. Mowgli. Mowgli. Oh, this is the super racist guy from the episode. I'm not afraid of racism, ladies and gentlemen.

He said the N-word. That's true. I have said the N-word. I am from North Miami. I'm not afraid of it. I will say my set is going to start with something different, though, tonight. I'm working on my mega set. I'm going to keep it separate until it's ready.

Oh, my God. He just said it again. But I will say, you know, I just moved out to L.A. recently from North Miami. And I'm going to be honest with you guys. I don't know the first thing about being Indian. This is true. But I didn't realize there's a lot of Indians that work in background in LA,

and I got picked up for an episode of Arrested Development recently. And I got to set, and they all came up to me, and they're like, oh my God, it's so nice to meet you, I can't believe it, you're the star of the show today. What is your name? My name's. I was like, what?

I was like, my name's Michael. And they're like, Michael? What did you get a name like Michael? I was like, I was named after Michael Jackson. And they're like Michael what did you get a name like Michael? I was like I was named after Michael Jackson and they're like Lord oh my God oh my God don't you realize you're Indian? I was like you don't think I know I'm Indian?

My mom's got a fucking mustache and I'm like honestly if my mom grows out a beard we look identical that's ridiculous alright thanks a lot there you go I could tag the shit out of that It's ridiculous. All right, thanks a lot. There you go.

I could tag the shit out of that. Well, that's that. Next person. Yeah, I guess so. If you believe that, then I guess you have it all figured out to begin with. Well, you came back with the same joke as you did last time, but it was, you know, you added that one. I don't remember you doing the mustache part last time.

I didn't have time to finish because I ruined it by starting with shit. That's a very long build up. Very, very long. But a big laugh. I mean, and it just ends in, you know, I hate that fake voice.

When it ends at hairiness, I'm just, you know, I mean, an Indian hairy joke, We know it's coming. I like the mustache, but I don't know. I'd almost dip into, I'd almost try to find a segue out of that topic as fast as you can because if you're just going to be another fucking Indian guy talking about body hair or fur. Well, what I do is I segue out of that and I say, I'm not your stereotypical Indian, really.

And then I go into some jokes that are just normal. That are like stereotypical. Do really, and then I go into some jokes that are just normal. That are stereotypical. Do you even think I need it? Because I feel like every now and then I'll do a set, and if I start without doing an Indian joke... I like the line, you don't think I'm a fucking Indian? My mother has a mustache. It seemed like you were passionate about it.

I do like the line. You can almost just say that at any point. You can just say that line, rather than that long set up. And going through that fake accent part just kind of makes you go, oh, here we go. Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, don't even do the accent ever again. Really?

It's not worth it? And you go back and forth. The only people that are going to chuckle at a stereotypical Indian accent are idiots anyway. Oh, my God. You don't want them to like you. Nice. You know what? I kind of like the accent.

Should I start doing it? Well, there you go. It's only funny when white people do it, I guess. Doopey, doopey, doopey, doope guess. Doopey, doopey, doopey, doopey. Doopey, doopey, doopey. Doopey, doopey, Indian. Doopey, doopey, Indian. Is that not a...

I've never been known for my impressions. It's very comical, the way you did it. Don't try to do it like... Because the accent itself is funny. Don't try to make the accent the whole joke. No. Definitely. Because it ain't happening.

Throw that part out. Yeah. Really squeeze it down. I'm going to try without the accent. I've never even tried it without the accent. That little piece, just that one little line, just find a place to throw that in somewhere and just use that one line. You know, that's great.

You don't need the whole set up about Arrested Development, meeting somebody. I think you just need that one line yeah so wait the one line being the uh mustache oh really yeah i mean because that's that's the only funny part in that whole story so might as well just take that piece out find somewhere else to throw it in and then that whatever joke you throw it in it's going to blow that joke up but i think because i've seen him go up before that this is this joke is longer than... It is, it is. The rest of the development part needs to stay in there,

but he just needs to clean up. There's so much nonsense, like Michael Jackson. You throw that out. The accent, throw that out. You say, hey, my name's Michael. He's like, don't you know you're Indian? And then you can do that joke, and then you can keep going on throughout the bit.

It's just so long, you know? Yeah. I think Dion used to say on the set all the time, time he's like that's a long walk for a drink of water right yeah oh yeah so would you say i guess i'm getting a little bit mixed here so is it worth the setup for the punchline or just as part of the longer joke you have to keep that setup yeah go ahead and say the rest of the joke well Well, the longer joke is that, you know, it was like an Indian mafia that was working on set.

Like, they came up to me and they were like, oh, we're all from Outsource. And I was like, Outsource? You guys from India? They're like, no, it's a different TV show.

They brought us over on the set. And I was like, oh, this is cool, you know. But the hardest part was that, I mean, I haven't really developed

it all together yet. What's the punchline of the end of the whole joke? Oh, well, the end of the whole joke is that I talk about being an Indian goat herder on set, and needless to say, none of them wanted to be my friend for the day. My only friend on set for the rest of the day was a goat, and that's really it. But it's true. Just cut the beginning of the joke.

Yeah, so I took that part out, though. I'm trying to think of what would be funny, because hairy mom, hairy mom jokes are, you know, a dime a dozen. So when you ask whether it's worth it or not, I would say it's worth it. If your mom had a mustache, I would really fucking break that open and talk about different things like how maybe Indian women are at an advantage if they ever want to, you know, be a tranny or something. It's like they already have the mustache. Like it's like they already have a pat on the back from God. Like, go head to the other side of... Go be a guy for a while.

Oh, this is great stuff. Well, yeah, well, luckily, my mom doesn't have that filthy gene that you come from, so I can't do the joke because my mom's not that hairy because she's a fucking American hero. Hey, that's a shout-out to my mom. What's wrong? Yeah, that hairy because she's a fucking American hero. Hey, that's a shout out to my mom. What's wrong? Yeah, that's good.

And you're an Indian. Yeah, true. This is true. Anyway, good job. There he goes. Tony, we had that same discussion when David Taylor was on here about Sarah. Remember we had that same discussion about if you want to kill Tony, don't hit all the stereotypes that are just obvious. He's not going to get killed by that.

Oh, that's interesting. I like his knack for branding. If you want to kill Tony. Yes. That's so funny. Well, there you go. I appreciate it. Thanks a lot, guys.

Yep, Mogali, everybody. I like how you have your... Mogali. Mogali. At M-Mogali, M-O-W-G-A-L-I. You're making me hate you right now. Go. Get away.

I hate it when people go like this with a mic. Like, why would you ever? Do your impression of Mowgli. Doopity doopity Indian doopity. I'll be laughing about that for weeks. All right, let's move on to our final segment of the show. Every week we have two regulars that come on, and they've been with us for most of the episodes.

And the high majority, I think they've both only missed one, actually. Or something like that. But it's always fun. We've been building them here over a long period of time. I believe this is our 12th or 13th week doing this. So starting off as always up first.

Here since the first episode of Kill Tony and she's here once again. Put your hands together for Sarah Mostajavi everyone. Put your hands together for Sarah Mostajavi, everyone. Hi, guys. So I just got my own apartment. That's about as much support as I was expecting.

It's been really sad. I've kind of been drinking, like, a lot. Like, I drink at home by myself every night. And it's just kind of like if I have to get a fucking paper bill for a wireless service, I need to be drunk. I can't handle it. I didn't start drinking until I was about 25

because I didn't like the way that it made me feel. But as I got older, I realized I never liked the way I feel, and I might just be drunk the whole time. Every night, I get real hammered by myself, and I just think about the one that's always loved me. I really miss my dog, you guys. It's fucking sad. When I moved in, I saw that there was a pre-K school next door. And I thought, even though my neighborhood's kind of suspect, it would be a little safer.

And I was really relaxed. And then I realized yesterday it was a state pre-K. It was a state pre-K? Yeah. What the fuck do you have to do to be sent to state pre-K? And then it goes into, like, tags with what preschoolers would have to do to be sent to state pre-K? And then it goes into tags with what preschoolers would have to do to get sent to state. What would they have to do to get sent to state?

Well, the quickest, and this is just something, I mean, I've been working on this bit all week. I've been trying to find something funny about that. And what I thought of today was be like, yeah, Jimmy's going to be gone from class. He's been sniffing the glue sticks. He's been sent to state something. Sorry.

I just try to be. I've been working on it. What was the joke before the pre-K one? I did the one about, like, drinking alone and alone and like thinking about the only one that sort of loved me and it's like my dog it's kind of like you think I'm gonna be like

oh I'm sad about it dude nope it's a bitch I sort of well I sort of I mean I guess it could be funnier

but that's why I'm well I mean it could be less depressing also yeah I guess that's what it is. I don't want it to be depressing. I'm just trying to be real so I'm trying to work on

making the stuff that I think and feel funny, you know? You might want to cut out one of the four I am drinking alone. Drinking alone, yeah. Because you said that like four times.

Yeah, I don't know. She misses her dog. Yeah, it's fucking me up, man. Hey, Sarah, what if you get a new dog, put peanut butter on your pouch, and let the dog eat it up? Whoa, what the fuck? Wow.

That came out of nowhere. What is happening with him? Can I just say that your impeccable racism today has been very American patriot. Good job, America. And that's a way to turn the page. It's a non-patriot's world. Everybody else just lives in it.

Whoa, somebody's meds are running off right now. Malfunctioning happening. Are you like the Tin Man? Do we need to oil you so that you're not dysfunctional? What the fuck? I think you might just want to keep it at a minute. What was the joke before the thing? There was a lot of narration, I thought, again.

Where you, there was a lot, I mean, I think it was 30 seconds I looked over until you got to a joke. Or maybe I missed the joke. You were hard-umming, too. But these are all common things of being new. I know. To be honest with you, I get so much more nervous here

because I actually care what you guys think than I do at other open mics or shows that I do. It's crazy. I did that bit all week long and it's been good, but I'm just a little retarded. No, no, don't say that. No, I mean, I'm working on it. That's why I'm here.

Cut some of that fat off, clearly. I'm just being an idiot. I don't know what that means either. Yeah, that's what we do here. What was the first thing that you talked about before the depressing dog thing? I usually

say that I got a new place and usually nobody says anything and I'm like, yeah, that's the kind of support I like. That's a hot crowd. I recognize that. You don't need to do that either. You want to start off with a boom.

Not a what the fuck. Well, I get... Right. I don't know. Yeah, you don't want to... That's another thing that's very common early on. I mean, most people, it takes years before they even realize they do it or before somebody tells them.

I've just seen higher-level people do it, and I would like... Right. And those are the people on their way down. Oh. Those are the higher level people that maybe got too much too fast and sold their soul. And they got credit, so now they have a good spot, but they're never going to maintain it because they're not genuinely good. And they haven't learned through the bad habits of doing things like hard umming and doing things as easy as saying something that won't get a reaction and then making the joke off that. I mean, if it's going to hit, it, and then making the joke off that. Right.

I mean, if it's going to hit, it has to be epic, epic, epic. Right. Willie, is this your first time seeing Sarah? She went up last night. Yeah, I did the open mic yesterday. Do you remember, or did you watch it? You watched, you were there.

That face is great, yeah. I mean, I was there. That face says cigarette break. It I I was there That face says Cigarette break Is I think what happened During No I was I was there

I mean I mean Sometimes I just zone out Right Thanks I'll be in the bathroom Cutting myself If you need me We can always count

I believe that's our I think that's your Your set next week right You love making cutting jokes I just think it's fine I'm sorry I just You think that's your set next week, right? Night, night. You love making cutting jokes. I just think it's fine. I'm sorry. I think darkness is funny. I think just being really what I really am.

How do you guys feel about it? The cutting comment. Are you really dark? Do you still cut? Why do you laugh? I just... Do you get wet when you see a knife? You ever go cuts to butts?

Okay. Well, that's, you know, I think we, you know, I really don't know where to... You know, I feel like part of this isn't always us tagging you. I feel like in this part of the show, it's like nipping those habits in the butt,

you know what I mean? And reinforcing that sometimes is fun. I don't really know if... Since you're doing a new 60 seconds every week, whatever. I mean, how do you write? Do you try to drown yourself and then just wake up and then...

Did you just get in the bathtub with water? It's just all on a bathroom wall. And all your writing's smeared because of the water. Knock, knock. Who's there? It's like the butterfly effect. You walk into our bathroom. I write with my own blood. Alright, now you just

had to take it there, huh? We're having fun over here. I can't ride the train. Just you guys. It's good to be dark, but it's still a comedy club, not a funeral home, okay? We're not here to pay memoriam to that minute of material that you did. I guess dark can be funny, but how you give it out, we believe that you believe it. So if you're doing a joke about cutting, we're like, oh my God.

Instead of you going, damn these cutters. You know what I mean? You want me to be Yosemite Sam of cutting myself? Well, if you're going to talk about it, you should definitely do it in a different way instead of making us all go, oh my god. Well, eventually my vulnerability won't come off as weakness.

Vulnerability won't come off as weakness. Are you ticklish? No. I don't feel anything. God damn it. Right there. That's funny. But vulnerability always comes across as weakness. Losing the vulnerability, then you don't get weak.

So to think people won't perceive your vulnerability, no. You have to get rid of that. And that's why people do this for years and years and years. Because it takes that long of reinforcement to be able to work that out. You want to keep that. But lose those jokes. Sarah Mostajabi, everybody. There she goes.

Hey, I got to give her credit. She does a new 60 Seconds every week. It's not always going to be pretty. This is a real fucking thing. You guys want to judge. Have you ever seen somebody do new 60 seconds? This is all new. It's like a historical

moment. She's exploring new territory every week. Of course. Totally. It's always different. It's amazing. Josh Martin's done this show twice and he did the same 60 seconds both times. What a faggot. Yes, of course, but you're not on a mic right now.

Josh Martin has a nice chest. Did you have a question? What about Tig? I just meant that somebody who takes a really dark, bad, weird experience in her life and writes her ass off until she has an amazing joke. That's what I'm doing, man. I'm in it for 10 years or however long.

I love it. I love it. There she goes again. Sarah Mostajabi, everyone. And that means it's time for our other regular, the very lovely, dropped out of college after being inspired to do stand-up comedy, partly by many forces,

herself, her history, my podcast, Bobby Lee. It's always fun to watch her grow. The youthful, the likable, the energetic ball of future comedian stardom

that I call Kimberly Congdon, everybody. Here she is once again. Hello. Thank you. Appreciate it. L.A. has had a really weird effect on my faith because I still pray a lot, but now that I live here, I also smoke a lot. And I don't know if you've ever prayed high, but for me, I get

misdirected. Like, I just go in a completely different direction. I'm like, dear God, thank you for everything. Forgive me for my sins. Blah, blah, blah. Also, that $100 bill I put in the offering on Sunday, it was supposed to be a 10. So if I could get some change,

it'd be nice. And then I get pissed because he's ignoring me, and that's just rude. I get an attitude. I'm like, hello, I'm your daughter. He's just like my flesh father. I love the word flesh father. That's such a funny word.

That's what I used to call my flesh light. It's just like my flesh father. Oh, that's so funny. It's a lot of setup. Yeah. Once you make the turn on the ignoring thing, you got to keep that short. And the front end of it was,

what was the first part before that? Yeah, you could have probably just say, hey, I went to church the other day. Like praying high. Did you say that you went to church high? No, I said that I prayed high. That was a true story. I accidentally put a $100 bill in the offering and couldn't

go back and get it. Yeah, you should explain it like a true story and make it real quick. Like, I can't believe what happened to me last Sunday. Own it. Own it. Don't tiptoe around. He's like, the difference between me and this. No, no, no. You did it. And then you have that true story to go off of.

So then it's almost like it'll prove to you how real he is. Because if he's really real and he sees everything, then he knows that I deserve $90 back out of that. Maybe say you went to your pastor first, and then he wouldn't give you the money. So you're like, can I speak to your supervisor? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or something like that.

Yeah, cool. There's a lot you can do. I wanted to add a few things maybe to it. I wanted to do something about, I don't even know. No, you got it. I mean, just listen to this. About how everyone expects God's voice to be really big and manly, but what if when he actually replied, it was like, well, listen,

could you have been really bad lately? Yeah. Mix it all in. Right in that. Yeah. But he has to say something funny. Yeah. It can't just be.

And a gay lisp. Yeah. Right. Cool. But yeah, keep rocking. That's Kimberly Congdon. That's at Kimberly Congdon on Twitter. New 60 seconds every week from both of our regular ladies. The great at Sarah Dresses and at Kimberly Congdon. That's at Kimberly Congdon on Twitter. New 60 seconds every week from both of our regular ladies.

The great at Sarah Dresses and at Kimberly Congdon. Tweet at them and support them as always. As the powerful Kill Tony, Death Squad, everything always does. Iron Patriot on Twitter kills it. He's at Comic Patriot on Twitter. Will Hunter Show, correct? Willie, you have anything coming up that you want to promote? No.

I can't think. I don't know. Maybe. Coming up next is also September 16th in Phoenix, Arizona. Stand Up Live. Go to StandUpLive.com. Red Band and I will be there. I'm at Tony Hinchcliffe on Twitter.

He's at Red Band. Up next, immediately following this, is our favorite show, The Ding Dong Show. The longest running show in Comedy Store history takes place at 10 o'clock here

with the host, the great Don Barris. And follow him on Twitter. It's Simply Don. And watch The Ding Dong Show. For those of you that are here right now, stay and watch The Ding Dong Show and enjoy it. I'm Tony Hinchcliffe.

Have a great day. Peace. Peace. Hej då!