KILL TONY - KILL TONY #16

Episode Date: October 9, 2013

Brody Stevens, Iron Patriot, Tony Hinchcliffe, Sara Mostajabi, Kimberly Congdon, Brian Redban – Date: 09/16/2013 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony here at DeathSquad.TV. Please help us out. We need it. Death Squad needs your help by buying a Kitty Kat t-shirt. I make these limited edition t-shirts and I sell them until they sell out. And all the money I get from these t-shirts pays for everything we do here, including these live shows I do. These cost me money every time I do a live show. And anytime I put up a podcast, there's hosting involved. There's website stuff involved. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that I have to pay for rent for Death Squad Studios.

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whatever device. iOSos whatever right who cares anyways here's a brand new episode of kill tony guys welcome to the world's famous comedy store stand up for your warm-up guy, Steven Proudy! Steven! Steven! Hello, everybody. Hello everybody!

Welcome to the Kill Tony podcast. Brian Redband, you got it, he's my friend. What would you like me to do, Brian, you want me to sit? Oh, I just thought you were going to do a warm-up. Remember we said we were doing something about a warm-up. We don't have to do a warm-up. I'll do it. I'll talk to him for a couple minutes if you want me to do that. I thought you wanted to do that.

I do want to do it, but I was given other instructions from the time you told me to do that to now. So if you want me to do it, I will talk for two minutes. Let's not do it now. Why not three minutes? Because it's gotten really awkward in here. It hasn't gotten awkward. That's just a word. Push through.

Two minutes, Brian. We can do that. All right. I a word. Push through. Two minutes. Brian, we can do that. Good evening, everybody, and welcome to the Kill Tony podcast. I'm excited to be here. I'm on the show tonight. Tony asked me, thank you.

Tony asked me to come on down and what a great crowd. You know, I did the first Kill Tony podcast, and, you know, the crowd, we didn't have as many people as this, and I'll tell you what, this is a far better looking than that first initial Kill Tony podcast. Give it up for yourselves for looking good, perhaps being with people. We've got a couple here. We've got a couple there. We've got some girls there.

Guy hanging out in the shadows. Cool. Guy over there with a hat. And you're polite. You walk in and you take off your hat. Give it up for this guy for having manners. Hat on. Hat off.

Hat off. Good. I should be wearing a hat. I've been wearing a hat a lot recently because I do a lot of comedy outdoors. I'm wearing shorts. I'm wearing my oddball talent all X. Thank you. Thank you for that. Chappelle comedy tour. It's been fun. It's been a great time and I guess being here at the comedy store two or three times a week, headlining

in the main room Saturday night. Closing it out. One hour and 15 minutes of solid comedy. Positivity and drumming's incredible. But, the deal is I'm excited to be back and I have been on the road playing big venues and getting a chance to do some things.

It's fun. And maybe you'll get an opportunity to talk about it. So I'm sharing you that story. And why not wear the pass? Why not? I'm not like saying look at me. I'm saying hang out. Feel the vibe.

Share. That's what we're doing. And that's what a Kill Tony podcast is all about. You know, I drove through Ohio. Where's Tony from? Youngstown, Ohio. What did I do? I texted Tony.

I said, Tony, I'm driving through your city. Is your mom there? I need to do laundry. I couldn't use a spaghetti dinner. Here's another thing. I'm a good guy. You're doing a podcast. You'll be on the radio.

I'm talking right now as a human being. We are at a comedy club. I'm doing things here that I normally do. I've been a regular here for over 12 years. And I'm really not getting one laugh. And it bothers me. I'm doing

an audience warm-up for a podcast. It's different. So what I'm saying is, just beat me halfway. I'm not expecting you to be crazy, go nuts. I do audience warm-up for television shows. Over 2,000 television shows. So I know how to do

that. I understand we're doing a podcast. We're not on TV. We are on video. I'm on the show. He's doing this. There's weirdness. Brian was right. It was awkward, but you know what? Give me the mic and I will fight through the awkwardness.

So I do have jokes. I do have confidence when I'm focused and ready to go. Was that you? Put it on my chest, yeah. That was June 10th when we did that first show, Brody. I don't know if you remember.

I do remember June 10th. We started up. We met each other. That was a fun night. And, you know, I hear a lot of good things about you. Thank you. Now, you're going by comic patron or iron patron? Both.

You know, both. I wanted to tell you something, Brody. I saw you Friday on the Ice House Chronicles. And you were talking about your HBO TV show. Wait a second. What's going on in here? Are we doing a podcast in here? Or are you warming up the crowd?

That's part of doing audience warm-up, Brian, which I've done over 2,000 television shows. Just let me get this story, then we'll start, right? I'm going to call you Iron Man. Do you want me to wait, Redman, or do you want me to tell it now? Do you want to wait?

Let me wait a little. All right. Wait, wait. What makes it more awkward? Don't use that word again. Let me talk to you about it a little bit. All right. He's going to set...

Here's the deal. I'm excited. He set the foundation. The carrot on the stick is there. Here's the deal. I'm excited. He set the foundation. The carrot on the stick is there. That's what Iron Patriot does. The teaser is there. Look forward to that story. We'll bring in Brian. We'll bring in Tony.

We'll get this thing going. It's Kill Tony. I'm back. I was on the first episode and I'm here now to bring positivity and share stories from the road with Dave Chappelle. Wednesday, Denver. Friday, San Francisco. Saturday, Vegas. Sunday, Phoenix. That's where I'm at. Help me out. You help me. Let's get this thing going. Give Come on guys. Come on. Yeah. Let's be a little...

Guys, give it up to Brody Stevens. Guys, welcome to the world famous comedy store. This is Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe! Good to be here. What an exciting surprise. Your half-planned crowd warm-up from Brody Stevens. Who's done over 2,000 crowd warm-ups.

No, he really has. A lot of people say that he was the foundation of Chelsea lately. He would get the crowd warmed up for over 2,000 of those shows and also the best damn sports show period and many other things. Give it up one more time for Brody

it's so fun I'm so excited we have Brody on episode two and was it one or two still he said it was one one was wrecking room One was Rick Ingram, and two was Brody Stevens. That's right. And I'm so excited to have him here. He's somebody who I've learned so much from, and he helped me out a lot. Really, really smart, unorthodox, funny, funny, funny comedian. Most comedians' favorite comedian is Brody Stevens. Like, all the big, big-time comedians that I've had the pleasure of meeting in my few years of doing this. The one thing that everybody has in common is somehow or regularly they've gotten to see Brody and he's a killer. So funny. Check out his stand-up.

He's on the Oddball Comedy Tour right now, the most awesome possible thing any comedian could be doing touring all around the country doing arenas with Dave Chappelle so that's just a taste of what we're in for later now say hello to the one and only the head of security here the one and only Iron Patriot everybody Oh yes, there he is, the one and only. Tony, I wish I could have been there for you in Canada. I was worried about you. You needed your security there.

Thank you. Thank you. He's talking, referencing a recent trip that I took to Winnipeg. And, yeah, I had to hang out in Winnipeg. Yeah. I had to hang out in Winnipeg. Yes, I did do that. You really fed me a line there. You fed me a topic. I'm excited about tomorrow, Tony.

I'm going to be an extra on a film directed by Clint Eastwood. It's called The Jersey Boys. This movie is about a pop group that sold 170 million albums before they were 30. Boring! Now, wait, listen. I'm going to sing a part of this song, and you guess what group it is that this movie's about. The Temptations.

Big girls don't cry! Big girls don't cry! Billy Joel. No, Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. They got a lot of great songs. They got that Sherry song. I got them confused because Billy Joel remade a Four Seasons song in the middle of the night or something like that. Yeah, yeah, they've had a lot of people remake their songs, but I'm looking forward to that.

I've never been around Clint Eastwood. It should be exciting. I don't think you're going to get to be anywhere around Clint Eastwood. What do you play? What kind of extra? I'll just be in a cemetery scene. And that's the actual you, who is the man underneath the suit, who was in the semi-successful rock and roll band, what was their name again? Yeah, Dirty Crabber.

The Dirty Crabber. You know, I'm a failed musician and Brody is a failed baseball player. Whoa, that's not true. Whoa, that is not true. Whoa, he didn't say that. He didn't say that. Well, I mean, he played in college. He was good. He had

10 strikeouts in many games and he had a problem with blocking though. So how does that make him a failure at baseball? Well, it's the same as me. I wasn't really a failure either, but it's just, you know, maybe we were meant to do something else. Like, I was meant to be a comedian like him. You're wrong, Patriot.

I'm well on my way. Don't burst my bubble, Tom. That left Darn, by the way. We've noticed in the last couple episodes, if you're new to the show, the Iron Patriot swung by after episode one, and he's been with us every episode since. He's a fan of the podcasting world,

and he was nice enough to join us. He wears that suit, $5,000, that was shipped in from him from Russia. Norway. Norway. And I'm surprised, isn't Norway known for Norwegian scams? What do you mean scam? Isn't that like the number one country for scams? And you just sent somebody $5,000 for an Iron Man costume in Norway?

I'll tell you what, Redman, it was really scary because, you know, PayPal only lasts like 45 days. And I didn't know if I was ever going to get it. I was scared as hell. Wow. I'm glad I wasn't, you know, it was scary. I mean, when I got it, I was excited because it took a year and a half. He's a regular on the podcast. He's been with us every week.

Sometimes he's accidentally racist because he's from Texas and he doesn't realize when he's being racist. Like, for example, he calls his... He references black women as the female brothers. Yeah. That's all sister number nine. That's the song I did. Tony, I want to tell you a little bit about my life.

I did live in Texas for 28 years, but I was born in Des Moines, Iowa. I lived there for 9 years, and I also lived in Chicago from 9 to 12, and I visited an uncle one time in Columbus, Ohio. So I'm the Yankee just like you guys are. Columbus, Ohio. Oh, I almost forgot until he just did it. So the last couple episodes We've noticed a left arm twitch

That happens when you Red band red band It doesn't have anything to do with that It's not uncontrollable That'd really be scary if I had an uncontrollable twitch You just did it right there I just did it again Because I don't think about it when I'm talking

So that's an uncontrollable twitch I can stand still. I just did it again. Because I don't think about it when I'm talking. Yeah, so that's an uncontrollable thing. No, no, it's not. I mean, I can stand here still for an hour and not even move. And it's never going to happen. It's just... Okay, try it right now, starting now. But, you know... Oh, I remember! Oh, guys, I remember that rap I did at Sears about Deborah. Just did.

Hey, Red Bad, can you give me a beat? Can you do a kind of beat like... Can you do something like that? What are you gonna do? I got just a short rap of the Deb Red Sears. I remembered it last week. Just do it real quick. It's real quick. No, do it better, do it better, like... Oh my god! That's a good drum, just do it like... No, I don't wanna do it. Just kidding, I don't wanna do it.

Tony, you do it. Okay, do it. No, no, no. Let's just... About one... Okay, I'll do it. Just not do a song. I'll do it real quick. no, no. Let's just do it. About one, okay I'll do it. You should not do a song. I'll do it real quick. About one year some time ago, good lovin' was bad, nippin' was slow, I was livin' it

down, day by day, trying to survive with the right for length. Hey now, don't try to pretend, when the right gets cold, there is no need. You need a long, long lady, fast like a rocket, a beast in bed, with a hot love pocket. You don't need love, cause that ain't loose What you need, boy, is a chocolate mousse So the very next day, I went to Sears Home of the brothers for years and years Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow

Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow It ends with you blacklisting yourself I love it Oh my How exciting I'm sick of the world right now

So what do you say we bring up our guest I mean that was truly disturbing Patriot This has been a strange show so far Going tonight It's a different flavor I love it We know you love different flavors

Yes I do Alright everybody Our guest tonight There you go. We know you love different flavors, right? Yes, I do. All right, everybody. Well, our guests tonight, what can I say? Hangover, Hangover 2, Due Date, Chelsea Lately, everything. The Burn, big part of Comedy Central. In fact, his own show all about him and his life is debuting this summer. Or, I mean, this fall.

On one and only Comedy Central. It's called Enjoy It. I'm lucky enough to have him as one of my really great friends. We text. He's a great guy. Bringing hands together for my pal and my guest tonight, the one and only Brody Stevens! Fresh off the oddball comedy tour. Taking a break from recording in front of tens of thousands of people. To be with us here tonight again. I'm back. He's back. I was on the first... Was it called Kill Tony, the first podcast?

Actually, it was still called Hinchcliffe's Notes when you were on it. There you go. Hinchcliffe's Notes, because we were adding and helping out. It's the same show. Yeah, it's the same show. It's Evolve. Yes. But it's a different title.

Easier to spell. Gotcha. Kill Tony. Easy. Boom. Push. You got it. Hashtag it.

Hashtag it. Tag it. You know, Comic Patreon mentioned that it's a different energy here. I think it's probably because of me. I'm a big guy. I'm back home here in the belly room. I'm wearing shorts, glasses, an all-access badge to the Oddball Comedy Tour.

We'll be in Denver on Thursday. I mean, is that just amazing or what? You are on what seems to be the coolest comedy tour. in Denver on Thursday. I mean, is that just amazing or what? You are on what seems to be the coolest comedy tour currently on that has probably happened in, I don't even know since when, right? Yeah. What is that? How does that feel?

It feels good. Part of the traveling woodstock of comedy. It feels good, to be honest with you, going to the venues, knowing that there's going to be close to 15,000 each and every night. There's 15,000 last night you did that, right? There may have been more last night. I think Irvine holds more

than that. But yes, it's kind of cool the enormity of it. You get there at I get there early, 4, 4.30. Gates open at 5. They're out tailgating the parking lot. These are comedy fans. So they're right on it.

They're listening. They're supporting everything. It's kind of like a lot. I would say it's a Lollapalooza. If you went to that growing up, it's kind of that feel at one of these amphitheaters. All the amphitheaters for the most part are pretty they're all the same. They all blur together. But some look a little different

than others. And that's what's kind of fun. Getting out and walking on the lawn. I'll go out with Jeff Ross. He'll host the show. And we'll have intermissions. And we'll walk around. That's a great thing. You're around 15,000 comedy fans. And they're all into Dave Chappelle. They in a flight of the Concords are

all equally or you know more so than others into the you know the different acts so hopefully the shows will keep going there'll be another tour like this and I would highly recommend get your tickets it's something that you'll have a good time with and I'm and it does feel good to say you're a part of something that's historic. How many more shows do you have? There are four more shows. We have Denver on Thursday. Tickets still available.

Denver on Thursday. On Friday, we're up in the Bay Area. Saturday, Las Vegas. Sunday, Phoenix. You kind of just do the show. For example, we'll do San Francisco. I'll fly up to San Francisco Friday morning. I'm going to shuttle down to San Jose where the gig is. Do the gig. Gig ends at 11. I'm there from 4 to 12. It's an all-day thing. I get there at 4, I'm done at 12. After 12,

they'll take me to the hotel after the gig. There may be a little after party, hanging out with the comedians. That's a fun little thing. You're on the road with these guys and there's a lot of camaraderie. So we do that and then you hang out and then boom, you're up the road with these guys and there's a lot of camaraderie so we do that and then you hang out and then boom you're up the next morning gotta take the shuttle don't they they're very good transportation San Francisco boom fly to Vegas get the Vegas shuttle airport maybe have depending on what time we get there all right you know, I'm trying to give you some of the most graphic behind the scenes. Well, I think what you're telling us is absolutely perfect because you know the format of the show everybody. We're right here in the heart, the throbbing heart of comedy, live from the world famous comedy store where so many people come to get their careers started

or continued in stand-up comedy. And the privilege of so many people signing up tonight, I think it was 32 or 34 or something like that, which is a record, by the way. That's good. Congratulations for that, guys. Are they all in here? Yes, definitely. The future is amongst us.

And so, being on the Outlaw Comedy Tour, who's more in touch with true comedy right now than a guy who has his own show coming out on Comedy Central? When's that coming out? Iron Patriot has a show? Yeah.

If all goes well, if I keep my sanity, if the editing is where everything needs to be. What's that date? Could be December 1st. Wow. You could see Stephen Brody Stevens on your Comedy Central program December 1st. Boom. Possibly. Could be.

It's all about you. A lot of people get their own show on a TV network and you end up having different things. But this is all about you. Well, that's where the pressure comes in. Yes, it's all about me. In your real life. A lot of it,

yes. And there is pressure with that. And this real stuff, it's not like I have a normal life or a normal relationship with my mom. Oh, my mom owns a cake store, and I've got a dog, and I'm looking for a house, and we go around. They play the cornball music. It's not that. It deals with mental disease. Right.

Well, you've been diagnosed as... I've been labeled as bipolar, and it's a daily battle. So how do I handle that and my struggles with that, my reconciliations, my looking back and going forward, and also maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

It's not easy. And I'm under pressure doing the show. I love it. How exciting. Well, you'll have seen a guy under pressure. Brady Stevens, everybody. Are you guys ready? Steven.

Brody. Steven. You got it. Push. Comedians get pulled out of this big, magical black bucket, and you get 60 seconds. In 60 seconds, you hear the kitty's meow. That lets you know that your time is up.

You should stop right there because if you keep going on, you'll bring up the angry West Hollywood bear that has already snuck its way into the show multiple times tonight. Because people, you know. Can I ask one thing, Tony? Is there anybody

willing to go to Coffee Bean and get me a vanilla latte? If you're not, I'm going to leave the show. No, I'm kidding. But I would like one, and I can't. But if you don't, I mean, if you want to stay and watch the show. You want a diet sun kiss? Josh, you want to make that run? Josh, don't worry about it.

Don't worry. I can fight you. I'm okay. You can be back in 15 minutes. Josh, you want to watch a show or you want to... It's at Fairfax. How are you going to do it? Are you really going to make poor Josh...

No, don't do it. It's a day after he won... He's the producer on this show. I pay him money. Well, then Josh should pay somebody here. Make him find a cup. Yeah. How about this? He should be the first one up to go.

What? He should be the first one up to go. Oh, okay. And then he goes and gets the coffee. That's a good idea. That's a great idea. How long will it take you, Josh? I don't want to take you out of your game. It'll take 15 minutes.

I'll be back in a minute. But I like when you're here. Can I go with you? What? Can I go with you? Give it up for Kill Tony producer Josh. Thanks for not laughing at me. Thanks for hurting my feelings right out of the gate.

Comment for me. Comment for me. Comment for me. Comment for me. Comment for me. Comment for me. Comment for me. Comment for me. Can I go with you? Can I go with you? Give it up for Kill Tony producer Thanks for not laughing at me Thanks for hurting my feelings Coming through on a live show In the clutch, getting the vanilla latte

What is that, large? Can I get a large vanilla latte? I will! Just give me the receipt He doesn't need one I'm so used to being I'm so used to being I'm so used to being on oddball.

That's what happens. People get me a lottery and I need it. I'm not doing a copy, sir. You get bossy, man. I'm not bossy. I'm on Klonopin. Who in the crowd

can give me a copy? I know you're about to start a show but who in this crowd can give me a copy? I didn't say it like that. I asked. Oh, but you're

gentlemen. Josh just won an epic battle by the way yes he fought Boone Shakalaka you don't know he's a homeless transvestite job well man comedy yeah went to win over this crowd Tony do you know that he said he't make any sense. He said he... Go ahead. All right.

Let's start bringing comedians up here. Yeah, we know how it works. You guys ready to get it started or what? We're going to get it started. Jake Barrett. Yeah! Yeah! Go to me, guys. They tell me he's funny, so I blast the party. When two buddies don't, they don't live my daughter.

People are up for me. What's going on, guys? Just had hernia surgery. Yeah, right? It was a blast. Actually, it was horrible. But the one cool thing about it was that when I woke up, all my pubic hair was shaved off. Made me wish I had back surgery instead.

It's a mess back there, guys. After the surgery, though, I talked to the doctor, and he told me that I couldn't work out or have sex for a month and a half. So my life stayed exactly the same. Actually, no, that's a lie, okay, guys? I have been seeing a lady recently. That's right, I've been hanging out with a chick. Last night, we got physical for the first time.

I don't want to be vulgar, guys, but in baseball terms, I rounded first and stepped my back in a pussy. And that's it. That's all. Cool. Okay, good. You want me to jump in? Yeah.

I liked it. I liked the hernia bit. Got my attention. I had hernia surgery. No fun. No. Takes about six weeks. You'll be all right. Did they go laparoscopic through your belly button? No, they went and they cut me like five inches right here.

Oh, wow. All right. Well, you're going to be okay. So that got my attention. The joke was pretty good. I like that. And then I played baseball. Got my attention on that. It was a little graphic. There was a rape with a bat. It was just a step of the bat in the pussy. Okay. All right. Well, you know what? You went up first. You had a good personality. Keep doing it. Thank you. Fuck yeah. I spent most of your set trying to find a pen and a piece of paper for Brody, at which point he pulled out

his phone and was going to start taking notes on his phone, but I know Brody so well that I know that if he has his phone in his hands, he's just going to end up getting distracted and going on social media and networking sites. So I spent most of your set trying to take care of that so that it's not a problem in the future of the show, so I have no idea

what you even talked about. I personally like the back joke of that so that it's not a problem in the future of the show. So I have no idea what you even talked about. I personally like the back joke because, you know, it's a real thing. And to laugh about it, it makes me feel good. Because, I mean, I've thought about having a fat chick on the side just to shave my back. It's a good idea. Hey, also, it was good when he talked about he couldn't have sex or work out for a month and nothing changed with his life. I think that was brilliant. You said brilliant. That makes me feel good. And good shoes, good pants. Can you face me and let me see what's on your shirt?

The shirt's very Josh Meyer-witz. Whoa, powers. Meyerowitz yeah well I'm not in I mean things have changed a little bit over the years I'm not in to having a message on the shirt as a performer because the audience look at the shirt they're gonna be thinking of Kenny powers you're there's a slight distraction with that but again times has changed a little bit those are considered humorous but I would be careful with having a message on your shirt. Yeah, I would agree with that, especially a comedy type of base shirt like that,

like Kenny Powers. I don't know, it just seems... You don't want anybody to have any type of idea of... Unless it's a permanent gimmick, I always think it's sort of important to just not have any distractions, but especially a comedy one, maybe then people will think,

you're like Kenny Powers, and they're going to think, oh, obviously this guy's a fan of Kenny Powers, I bet he's going to be dirty, and you're setting their expectations for something, where really I feel like you want to come in on a clean slate. So that's something for you. That's Jake Maron, everybody.

I'm sorry I missed you. We're at Jake Maron Comedy on Twitter for those of you listening to the podcast. If you want to send your tags to the comedians, a lot of them leave their Twitter handle. Tony, I haven't even tweeted today. I have... Yeah, I noticed that. I noticed that you were a little bit low-key today. Well, I'm working and I'm having some...

I am having some mental issues. But I'll talk to you about it. I'm telling you, you guys got gotta watch the show. Enjoy it. Are those previous episodes available online? I don't know where they're at. If you go home tonight or sometime this week, seriously

look up what HBO did. That's how awesome the show actually is. HBO had made it 15 minute shorts and Comedy Central bought that from them. It was a coup. But here's what I would say. HBO had it.

They could have said, you know what? We like it. Let's bring it back. We know you. We're family. Let's bring it back. That didn't happen. Number one.

Number two. This crowd, not totally with me. I'm kind of okay if they don't watch my show. That's my vibe, and I'm a good guy. We have to have energy and connection with Steven Brody Stevens. For those of you that don't know, one of Brody's very interesting fun facts that I normally don't talk about in front of him, but one of the things that I love about his comedy is it seems like sometimes he'll dig himself a purposeful hole with the audience

and have them turn against him, but you guys aren't really battling at all. It takes a while for people to realize that they're part of the, like, butt of the gym. Well, it can take a while, but again, I'm doing professional, I start both stages. Now again, the Oddball Comedy Festival, there's 15,000 people. I'm the first one they see on the main

stage, because I bring out the Roastmaster General, Jeffrey Ross. So I'm on the main stage, I'll just do two to three minutes, and then I bring out Jeff. So I'm doing something right there. I'll just do two to three minutes, and then I bring out Jeff. So I'm doing something right there. They seem to like me. Then I do the side stage. Gates open at 5.

I take the stage at 5.15, and I go from 5.15 to 6.45. Here's the deal. If somebody... You keep going into your itinerary with us. But people, it doesn't... 6.15, I eat a hot dog in the stands. But it doesn't take people time to loosen up and get to know me. Because I wouldn't be doing these shows if that was the case.

You're the vet. That's what I'm talking about. You're the man. Well, let's get this audience... They're into it. Give me some energy, guys. Let's go. That's a very funny, it's a weird note you're giving me. I love coming out on Mondays. It's like, they're... Well, I'm not into weird, and I'm not into awkward.

I'm into positive comedy. Let's go. You're on a thing called the oddball comedy. Yeah, and it's positive comedy. I get to be an oddball within the parameters of that. Let's push it. You guys ready for your next comedian? Trust me, I got a talent pass. Doing something right.

Let's go. He's all in the good and he has the credentials to prove it. Thank you, Tony. Three hands together for your next comedian doing 60 seconds. Daria Lauren, everybody. Daria Lauren. When people

don't show up for their spots, we have a permanent rule in which they get blacklisted. Boo! Boo! Sorry. That's what happens when somebody gets blacklisted. The Patriot makes a set

of noises. How often does that happen? Pretty often. Just a few episodes ago, Doug Benson was my guest. Just like that, there was no forewarning of what the blacklisting thing was. And he had his cocktail sitting right there. And he's so mellow and funny and everything. But his cocktail's sitting there, and he's sitting where you are.

And all of a sudden, the Patriot, and it really just shocked him so much that his drink spilled. He was just cracking up. I watched the video of it the other day because I couldn't wait to see the video of it because I knew I was on this side of it. It was just as funny as the whole experience. It was so, the look on his face because he's like, fuck, spill drink and laughing at the same time.

Anyway, so the blacklisting, that's what happens. Tony, do you have Josh's number? I want to change my order. Still nothing. Big laugh by Tony. You guys, now it's true. Guys, I'll play that game. If you're going to make me feel like shit for an hour, I'm going to jerk back.

That's how I do it. You're right. Yeah, I am right. Thank you, Tony. You're right. How can you guys not laugh at him wanting to change his order? You know Josh has probably already ordered it. I can't believe you didn't laugh at that.

I warned you. Now you got an angry Brody. There's no accidents here. Everything Brody says is hilarious. Thank you, Tony. You just have to find out why afterwards as you're already laughing. Afterward, I'll take it. Put your hands together.

This seems like a new name. Chuck Bronson, everybody. Chuck Bronson. Holy shit. You know what that means, everybody. You know who we'll never see again. So far, more blacklisted people than actual companions. All the comics that are in the room are loving this stuff. Chuck Bronson's a great name, by the way.

Give him something for that. Give him the laugh. A couple more laughs. Here we go. It's Victor Tleekoff. That just seems like a name. No wonder there was a record 36 people that signed up. Victor Piloff?

They're all in different handwritings, so whoever this is, really. Very, very strategic. How about Cody Gidley? You got it. Cody Gidley. Cody Gidley. Cody Gidley. There he is. Tony Gittling! Brody's here. That's super cool, Brody. I want to thank you. I get really, really high sometimes, and positive energy gets me through it.

Thank you. Iron Patriot. Oh my God, Iron Patriot. The Iron Patriot blew my mind last week. He spilled some knowledge on me. He said there was a difference between comic book Iron Man and movie Iron Man. Did you guys know that? There's a difference between comic book Iron Man and movie Iron Man? Do you remember what the difference was? Iron Patriot. Iron Patriot.

One of them was the Osbournes, right? Norman Osbournes. Norman Osbournes. He was great at comics. He's the Iron Man Osbournes, right? Norman Osborne. Norman Osborne. He was great goblin. He's the Iron Man from the comics, right? Yes. So, Patriot, if you had to say there's a difference between the two logistically, it would be cocksize, right? That might be one of the differences. That might be one of the differences. Do you guys ever think the Romans secretly killed Jesus because of all the sex he was having? No?

Oh, goodness gracious. You guys are... Woo! Woo! You got a vote coming out. That felt very exciting. Cody Idlin. It seems like you know...

Cody, stay up there. It's not that easy, my friend. Come on. Step up to the mic. This's not that easy, my friend. Come on. Okay, step up to the mic. This is where we talk to each other. Be a professional, Cody. How's it going, buddy? How long have you been doing stand-up?

Just probably about a year, maybe we'll say. Maybe just over that. Who's we when you say we'll say? Oh, I was collectively, I was trying to get the correct vibe. Oh, I like that. So, like, everybody will say. collectively I was trying to get the group by. Oh, I like that. So like everybody will say.

Seems like you know the show. Have you been here before? Have you gotten on before? No, I've never been out there. What do you normally talk about? Like you know Brody. You knew the positive energy. That's one of Brody's slogans, by the way. That was my truth. Right. It was a nice

gesture. Thank you. Absolutely. I like that. That was my truth. Right. It was a nice gesture. Thank you. Absolutely. I like that. That was a good move. That's a professional move. You look like a comedian. You're dressed. Are you from the East Coast originally?

No, I'm from the Midwest. Okay. On the way to the East Coast. Okay. The mic technique, I like it. I mean, it's different. You know, you have to thumb up. Not that you did this, but just make sure you're not, I'm not big into the guys who do that.

It can work. You can do whatever you want. But for me, you know, it's good when the mic's here and they can see my mouth. So, I mean, you're doing that. They can just be aware of that. But, I mean, you've got a good style. I think you just keep doing it. Only yours, you know, really fresh.

Yeah, how often do you do it? I mean, you started a year ago. I've started a year ago. I usually go up when I have a set. If I have a set, I'll go up. So we're saying what? How many times a week or a month? Oh, we'll say at least I try to get up once a week.

At least. I mean, I'll go up and spit at a mic or something like that. Right. Whenever I've got a set. So you do it, are you a hip-hop guy? I mean, yeah. You like hip-hop? K-Day on the radio, sure.

Okay. I can tell, I see it. You got that herb. That's why I said New York. What part of the Midwest are you from? Lansing. Oof.

All right. Man. And you've lived in L.A. for a year? I've been in L.A. for two years now. What do you do? I work for a AV company. You have to talk to the What do you do? I work for a AV company.

You have to talk to them like that. I know. I work for an AV company. What's that? Audio, visual. Oh. Not audio, video. No, yeah, just visual.

Got it. I think you just keep doing it. That's my advice. We didn't get to really hear any material. That wasn't really a bit. You got to learn that if you start a conversation with a patriot, it really doesn't end.

And you did that in your 60 seconds. We'll hopefully keep signing up and hopefully we'll see you again and we'll get to maybe talk about what you're doing up there. Cody Gidley, everybody. A little thank you for the paint show. Is that not recommended? Usually on this show?

Well, I mean, it's not really. You mean recommended a banter with the Patriot? Yeah, because you have 60 seconds. Well, he got in trouble because he was talking about the Iron Man and he meant to be talking about the Iron Man. Oh, he stumbled out of the grave. Yeah, he was drunk.

Okay, I get it now. I get it. Yeah, he fucked up. Yeah, when he had now. I get it. Alright. Yeah, he fucked up. Yeah, when he had to correct him on his own thing, that's when... Alright, put your hands together for Trenton Willie, everybody. Thank you. So, I want to tell you about my wife. I came home and I said, where's my bowl full of lightning bolts covered in sci-fi fish beaks and nightmare bacteria because I'm hungry.

And she said, I was taking care of the kid all day. What? You know, she just reminds me of the dictionary's word bubble. Because they both just complain about how they're too fat. Because the dictionary, you know, all of them are on the internet now. So the dictionary's word bubble is like, I'm full of too much language. So I popped it. Language goes everywhere. I used it as a parachute. It went the opposite way.

Then I went to a planet where everyone was their own dads. What? Let me tell you, there's only two different types of people in this world. Shadows made out of blood and people bleeding numbers out of the left eye. Shadows made out of blood and ruin it for everybody. Hell yeah. Can't even go to the movies. Shadows made out of, eat the fiction right out of the screen! You know? I'm gonna make Shadow blood fiction poop, my dad!

There you go. Um, fuck yeah, Trent, really. Hell yeah, coming out of the gates with a hard opener and a fake arsehole. Fuck yeah. Trent, how long have you been doing stand-up? 2004. Wow.

Are you on mushrooms now? I'm living inside of a purple triangle right now. Oh yeah. Did you... Alright. It was fun. It seemed like you walk a very fine line though from people, like, what the fuck is this guy talking about, to bringing them back by being a little silly. So that must be dangerous.

If that's your material normally, that must be a very dangerous line to walk. And I was thinking about it while you were doing that. It almost seems like, you know, you came out of the gates with, you know, I want to talk about marriage. Like, it's so funny and goofy how you said you wanted to talk about your wife and, like, a bowl of wizard whatever And you had me I felt like when you start getting into longer things and it's like waiting

I mean you should I mean I know it's just 60 seconds and you're just trying to get stuff out Like how much time do you ever do like what's the longest set that you do Norm on a regular basis? Longest and I assume you're not my friend there. I did an hour and a half once. Was that just you and your friend with a karaoke machine? You just sit there on mushrooms just talking and you're like, dude, I just did an hour and a half. It was my girlfriend recording it for, she had a museum show, visual art museum show in Amsterdam, and she had my words playing during it. And they're foreign, so you know, if I talk about living in a tornado made out of apples, their perception of it is different.

You know, it should be noted that this is the same gentleman that Don Barris talked to about. Because you really freaked out Don Barris one night. Like, he's scared of you. Like, he showed us pictures and stuff. You know who Don Barris is? I saw him and the only question I said is, do you feel at all guilty for making a movie where you exploit somebody who's trying? Which, you know, maybe,

but then he said, no, he's an asshole. I don't know if you guys know. We definitely know the hit movie Windy City Heat. It's hilarious. It's an amazing, huge cult classic. Again, it's another comedian's... Yeah.

Wait, don't drop. Go back. I didn't get a chance to talk right hold on do right no no no I can't get my coffee I'll tell you why because you forgot to say soy because you're allergic to milk all right well again let's just go back to this I'm a good person I'm hosting and running the oddball festival. I love how you're getting promotions as this podcast moves forward. So this is what I think. Now you're running it? When I saw, what's your, Cody?

When I saw Cody take the stage, the first thing I wanted to say to him, Josh, where's my coffee? So that's a funny bit. Again, but you want to make Josh up here so people can see exactly what's going on. Stand next to him. What do I know about comedy? Stand next to him. What do I know?

Turn around towards the crowd. Can we get some blue spray paint for the front of Josh's hair? So guys, didn't I kind of make that happen? I'm doing you favors. Even though I was a cold beginning before. Now, Gitlin? What's your name?

Trenton. I like what you did. You got a style. I have a similar group of shoes. They're comfortable. You came up. You took the mic. You did your stuff. I can't go into material. I don't understand how that works necessarily.

But your demeanor, your look, your confidence, it's all good. So just keep doing it. Talk to Tony. You know, these guys like that about, I guess, writing more jokes. But the character. I mean, you should be booking commercials. I don't know if you already are. I mean, I see, writing more jokes. But the character, I mean, you should be booking commercials. I don't know if you already are. I mean, I see you doing commercials.

I'm looking at when the guys come up here, the overall thing. So, confidence, you seem to have it. Luck, you have it. Look into commercials as well. You can do both. Yeah. Sure. There you go.

Thank you. Thank you. I was in a hangover, so I know how casting works. Yeah, he should definitely try to get a commercial agent. Yeah, he's got a good look. That's what you've got to do to work in this town. It's true. People with faces like mine don't get beer-selling commercials.

Your watch is freaking me out, by the way. That is a crazy watch. I me out, by the way. That is a crazy watch. I'm so excited about this one. I have this new obsession of I guess I'll talk about it. A new obsession of going on Amazon and trying to find the coolest watches that I could find for under $10.

And this one here, it takes like three or four weeks to even get these things because they're so made in China. They come in like seven different little boxes. It takes like an hour to open it. And then you end up with this watch right here that has the time, the Chinese time, which I'll never use, on that bottom left dial. Bottom right is a compass, and top left is a thermometer.

I can actually tell what temperature is just by looking at my wrist. Crazy part is that it's 2013, so every time I have to look for the time, even though I'm wearing this fucking machine on my wrist, I still just grab my phone and I'm like, what time is it?

It has everything on it. So just out of habit. They find that buried with the Titanic? There you go. No way. The idea was Titanic. You see the connection. One last thing. Here's the deal. I'm a good guy.

I've been traveling all over the place. I'm in town only for a couple days. Cleaning up my apartment. Running errands. If I say something, it may not be funny to you, you may not get it, but if I'm saying, I'm tempting, just give me a chuckle. And then we'll avoid these moments.

Trust me. You saw the coffee bit, the connection with the Josh? How did you time that out when I'm pulling random names out of it? You can't take credit for that. I will. I did. Your coffee came and the guy that looked just like him were on stage.

Because I put out positive energy and those things happen. I've seen signs my whole life. I have a learning disability. I'm from Reseda. But somehow I can't not work in this town. Steven Brody. Steven. Let's bring up the next guy. We are off and running.

Thunder and lightning. Sarah Weinshank. What's up, everyone? Guys, I'm going to talk to you about how I think ranch dressing people are the worst. They always got to let everyone know that they're a ranch dressing person. Excuse me, waiter. I ordered pizza. Can I get some ranch?

Waiter. I ordered fries. Can I get some ranch? Nuggets. I'm going to get ranch. Jack in the Box drive-thru. Extra ranch? Guys, I want you to imagine being on a date with a fat white bitch eating a lot of ranch.

You got to eat all that ranch or can I get some of that? Like, what is ranch? Someone was like, oh, you know, this mayo doesn't have enough flavor. Let's throw some seasonings in it. Call it a ranch. Ketchup. People who like ketchup. There was the weird picky little kid eaters.

I don't want anything on my cheeseburger. Just cheese with a bun and the beet. And a little bit of ketchup. There you go. Fuck yeah. I love that you're doing that. You're standing in the pocket with a wrench. And I love that.

I feel like it's almost one of those things, even though very rarely on this show do I see something that a comedian's talking about that is an exact topic of something that I once wanted to talk about but I actually felt that with your ranch dressing thing like it seems like the type of thing that someone could have that could it just feels like a premise that could be this crazy joke that like people know you by because ranch it is a crazy part it's one of those interesting

parts of life that and more and more it just seems like it's a regular part. It's one of those interesting parts of life. And more and more, it just seems like it's a regular condiment that somebody's wanting. So I think there's a lot there. How long have you been doing comedy? Three years. How long has that been, the range of it? I've been working on it for like two months. Right. There's definitely something. It seems like the beginning was good, and then you went into went into that like you want chicken nuggets and all that seems like

really long like I would just take that whole thing out just say make it one sentence like you know where they get like ranch for chicken nuggets fries you know make it all one thing instead of acting out you just think is like you kind of lost me there but then you got back into it right after that I normally do ranch and I start on that and I go into how those people listen to Jimmy Buffet and that's like... That seems like a great approach. I don't know what room you did that in front of that didn't laugh, but that seems like it would be a huge part of it. Hey, do you even do ranch for Buffalo Wings? Because Joey Diaz, he doesn't like that.

People like that. He's like blue cheese. Yeah, for sure. I could do that. I like blue teeth. Yeah, for sure. I could do that. Can I talk? You don't have to ask permission to fucking talk. You're a guest on the show. Will you stop that? Don't you dare take that call with me.

Can I talk every single time? I'm asking. I'm a nice guy. Is that what you do? Is that what you're going to do if you're on Letterman's couch? David, can I get a word in? What are you trying to do? A show?

That would be funny. That would work it out ahead of time. No, the reason why I wanted to do something with Tony is something. All right, good stuff, good energy. You went right into it. I'm thinking of ranch dressing. So obviously you're doing something like that. You're confidence, you're branding it. I like it.

I like the fact that you get up here and you're doing the one-minute bit. You've got to flesh it out. Just keep doing it. Again, I'm not a specific comedy guy. You know comedy guy you know the material leave it up to these guys but good good yeah good stage presence likable you know i say keep doing it there's something in the range and i think you're on the right track when you go with, you know, somebody says mayonnaise isn't good enough. I think that still sounds like the beginning of it, but I didn't feel like the end was right. You know, it's like, it almost seems like...

You say mix it with spices, right? Yeah. Maybe you could add to it, like, I want mayonnaise, but I want it a little bit more sour mixed with spices. Or something like that. Sour. I think a saddle ranch. It's like somebody says. That's what I was thinking.

That's how my mind works. But who am I? Who am I? That's a spark for fruit. It's also like the people. I feel like the person would say something like, you know, this ranch is good. I mean, this mayonnaise is good.

But, like, can you crumble some salt and vinegar chips in it or something like you have to have a reference? It's not that but some kind of reference that's funny with flavor like something some Billy Goat fucking Didn't blink money to have an album called dude ranch See I ran she gets me going right? That's how I write. I just take words and push and push visuals What's your name? And a ranch. It gets me going. That's how I write. I just take words and push and push visuals. Link them together. What's your name? Sarah. What's your last name?

Wine Shank. I like the name. It's memorable. It's easy to say. Got a good look. People are going to like you. So just keep doing what you're doing. Very German name. Thanks. Yeah, German. I'm Jewish. That's okay. I'm Jewish, and that's okay. I'm from Encino.

Really? Oh, Tarsiana. You got it. That's what every German person says when they are in front of their Jewish person who they've been targeting, and they know where he's from. It's all right.

I'm from where you're from. I'm going to kill you. Encino. It's a German name, but she might be Jewish. Yeah, my dad's a Jew. Bingo! I know my neighbor.

Don't talk back to the audience, Antony. I was going to say, it sounds German, but there's also something very Jew-y about the name Jew. That was my joke.

And then she said she was German, and I'm like, holy shit, that didn't work. Well, it's interesting. It is, because it's one of those names that sounds both Jew-y, like it

starts completely Jew-y with the wine. Yeah. Wine, anything so terrible. And then it gets German. That's racist, Tony. No, it's Jew-y. It's right. I've never met a white guy

with the last name Clinkscale. Like, those are my black friends, and that's a black last name. And black people know that, too. That doesn't make it racist. There's a Jewish person that thinks I'm gay. You said Jew-y. You said Jew-y, and I took offense to it. Very Jew-y.

The word's white. Jewish. Say it's very Jewish. Say that. So my Jewish friends can say Jew-y but I can't They can? Yeah You want to get into the N-word battle and get uncomfortable? Anyway

The last part's very German with the shank Like it's like I'm going to shank you Like evil, I'm a German So it's like wine shank You have the most German last name Yours is just creepy Reichel? Like the third Reichel? What's wrong with that?

Why would I ever change that? The third Reich is like the whole thing. And that's basically your last name. Yeah. It's like my name being Tony Holocaust. I know. I'll see you guys later. Sarah White.

She's at Princess Shank on Twitter. I say, you guys later. Sarah White. Sarah White. Sarah White. She's at Princess Shank on Twitter. I say, you know, it's one of those things where you can shorten it. It's so bizarre because you can shorten it in some places, but you can make it longer in others. I say stay in the ranch dressing pocket and try to write the perfect huge thing on ranch dressing. Yeah.

You could be the condiment comedian. You can go into ketchup after that, mustard jokes, just like, hey, what's up with this mustard? It's not just a guy on Clue. Alright, I don't know. Mustards with mustard and relish are hard. Clue joke.

There she goes. It's Sarah Weinshank, everybody. Thank you so much. Oh yeah, we can say Jimmy Buffett on the topic thing that was part of the sign-up sheet. It says ranch dressing and Jimmy Buffett. But we didn't get the Jimmy Buffett part, which Jimmy Buffett's also interesting

because his big song is Cheeseburgers in Paradise, which needs a condiment, right? So it all goes together. Ask your eyes in the mirror if they do this joke, because they do, I'm going to keep it. What? Gold. What is it?

It's gold. I'm going to keep it. I'm going to sign stuff. If anyone loses any gold, check for necklaces, bracelets, if you have any gold or you came in with any gold, it's probably your gold.

Because I know for a fact not many young comedians have gold on them. Lainey, it's not you? There you go. For you podcast listeners out there in Canada and Finland, that was a homeless guy saying that he found a piece of jewelry

and if nobody claims it, he's going to keep it. That's what just happened. So I don't know how to say that in Holland days, but put your hands together for Dave Gregory. Oh, yeah, here he is. Keep it going for Dave Gregory. Oh, come on. So, I have diabetes. I know what you're thinking. Diabetes didn't make me black. I used to be a Filipino woman. I hate telling people I have diabetes. At least if I do, they feel it when you start listing off foods that I can't eat

Like I don't know what to put in my fucking body Like, oh, you got diabetes? Damn, this sucks, man So you can't eat anything, you can't eat carbs You can't eat lollipops You can't eat bacon, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't eat bacon I think I'd just die, like, why the fuck do they do that? Do you give a shit to blind people?

It's like, damn, you blind? Damn, this sucks, man So you can't see anything, man. You can't see colors. You can't see rainbows. You can't see bacon, damn, man. I don't know about you, but you see bacon, man. So annoying.

I think that's it. I have another joke, but I'm going to leave it there. So, yeah. Thank you. I have another joke, but I'm going to leave it there. So, yeah. You know, the diabetes right out of the gate, that's brave. That's setting the foundation. I liked it.

Good personality. Good style. The diabetes, you know, it's like it's educational, too. People don't know all about diabetes. That's another thing. like, it's educational, too. You know? People don't know all about diabetes. That's another thing. I said it was a black disease. I'm just being stupid. My sister has diabetes, actually.

Nice. She's black. My cat looks like it has diabetes. You have a black cat? No, it just has that wolf. I just like them because you're willing to talk about it, you can also educate people on diabetes. Right.

It definitely establishes, it's a great way in. Anything that only certain people can talk about is awesome. And I love the approach that you have there because it seems like so wrong to say to a blind person, start listing the things that they can't see. Did it end in rainbow? Was that the third one? Or was it just two?

Oh, bacon was the third one. Right. I actually switched to list random. I don't know why. Because what I was going to do was list the foods the second time as foods you can't see, as opposed to what visual people see. Right. That's what i was going to do was was list the foods the second time but that's foods you can't see as opposed to what people visual right that's what i was just thinking actually have you tried it that way before i've never tried it i was given a note by this dude

he was like you should try doing food food the second time is what blind people can't see instead of like sunsets and shit you could also leave that be the third for her the third one on the food one it could be the same foods. You know, you can't eat bread, you can't eat pasta, or whatever the thing is, because I don't know. Because luckily I don't have diabetes. That must be good. Yeah.

It's really good. This is a coffee and a crowning Coke. I'm probably going to be asking you what I should be eating in about two weeks. Hey, no problem, man. You got my Twitter, dude. You know what, if women have diabetes, they get non-stop yeast infections. Their pussies are pretty much fucked. Are you making that up right now? I always wonder what the grossest shit I could find out.

Where'd you read that? I didn't read that. I didn't read it. I experienced it it you just fucked around with the wrong chick maybe she lied that's funny you gotta do your research on diabetic women that's that sugar pussy well I guess that's what it is

their body makes too much shit you know nothing about that I know. What do you think? Candy comes out of the vagina? It makes it. My blood still tastes salty.

It's not like it tastes like sugar. I highly doubt that a yeast infection tastes like Sour Patch Kids. It doesn't taste like Sour Patch Kids. No, you're wrong. It tastes way worse than that. That'd be awesome. It's a ratchet girl you were fucking with.

A ratchet? Oh, yeah. Brian Ratchet. Ghetto. Ghetto. Oh, you might be right. We call them around the comedy club. She doesn't happen to have diabetes. We call them Ratchet House Brian.

Ratchet House Brian. Do you have to do the shot thing every day? I'm on the pump, man. What's the pump? Oh, shit. Oh, my gosh. That's way better, right? It'm on the pump, man. What's the pump? Oh, shit. Oh, my gosh. That's way better, right? It's a lot better, man.

It's more convenient. And you unplug that thing? Yeah. It's like a gunshot. I don't think I do this. It's like a gunshot. It's not anything graphic, bro. It's just, yeah.

It's more convenient, but the shots were a bitch, man, because I've had it since I was like 13. And so, yeah, just keep doing the shots were a bitch man because i've had it since i was like 13 and so like yeah just keep doing the shots and i actually just came out telling people that i had diabetes in the past years oh wow so it was it was very tough for me to talk about you came out of the diabetic closet yeah it was it was like coming out you know just it was it was it was tough because like people that know me for years never knew people that live with me didn't even know i had diabetes that's how much of a secret i kept it you know so like I'm like you know let me try to make some money off of this shit you get rid of diabetes um you can get rid of type 2 and there's theories you can get rid of type 1

but uh the essentially type 1 is where the pancreas doesn't work anymore and type 2 is where the pancreas does work but the body is body is not accepting the glucose or the insulin that the body is shooting to get to the glucose to use as energy and stuff. So it's biological. Wow. I have type writer diabetes. Type writer diabetes. What is that? Just made it up.

Word play. I know laughs there. I know over there. Your blood sugar goes up when you type? Is that what you're saying? No, my sister has the same pack, and she has one on a similar one. She wears that and took her backstage at the Eyeball Comedy Festival. You ever accidentally, you know, had something sweet that, like,

did you ever just, like, blank out? Like, how long have you known that you've been diabetic? I found out when I was 12. I was diagnosed at 13, officially. Right when people love candy the most. Well, I've never been a candy person. What happened is, like, I guess I was more, like, the breads and pastas type thing. Yeah.

And, like, I guess I've had a few scares. Like, I had to walk home. I had to walk home from work, and it was, like, a five-mile o'clock in the morning and like I kept this thing on and I almost passed out unlike walking home and I'm like oh like it was I had my phone was dead I'm like holy shit and luckily there was a 7-eleven and in my head I'm like I hope that 7-eleven is not a mirage I hope it's real I hope it's real I mean it's like scary shit and it's like the scary thing about having a look like a low blood sugar is that it's really close to death.

And you never get used to getting close to death. As many low blood sugars as I've had, you know, it's like you're always facing death. You're like, oh shit, oh shit. It's like continuous. So you've passed out before? I've never passed out. I've lucked out without passing out. Yeah, because I mean, I wake up in the morning.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, like, sweating and cold. I'm like, I need to get some sugar. So it's like I've lucked out completely. Wow. Like, seriously. You know, it's really weird because I told you guys I was a DJ in Dallas. I was also, I did karaoke sometimes. And one time there was a guy there that passed out.

And we were trying to give him some, like, orange juice and some Coke, and he didn't want it. And he passed out. And then he finally took some, and that's when I learned about diabetes. It's a very strange disease. The Iron Patriot, as always. Okay. Yeah. Can I do an impersonation? Because I wanted to do one because I saw him there.

Of the Iron Patriot? No, it's a lot to describe, but it made me think. Oh, yes. You want to hear it? Yes. Before time began, there was the cube. We know not where it comes from, only that it has the power to create worlds

and fill them with life. I just felt like doing that. And that it has the power to create worlds and fill them with life. I just feel like doing that. The crowd goes crazy. You got to see that in your bits somehow. We're talking about diabetes or something like that. It's a bit, though. Oh, cool.

That's awesome, man. Wow. There you go, man. There you go. His Twitter is I am Dave Gregory on twitter I am Dave Gregory you'd be like diabetic Dave

diabetic Dave so you guys like when I'm mean like that is that what you want that was a good one good stuff alright let's keep it moving. Push. Eric Carter.

Oh, shit. That's me. God damn, that's me. I got here a little late. They might already announce my damn name, and here I am. On a fucking podcast. I don't even know what that is. I got to do an act.

I thought y'all were going to ask me questions. I thought it was a press conference. How are we doing tonight? Hell yeah. I just came out here from Mississippi. I had a fistfight and pelvic thrust through I just spit on you lady I had a fistfight pelvic thrust in Louisiana Texas New Mexico and Arizona here in Southern California now but

being a southern man I'm also a family man I love my daddy I love my mama I love my brother and I love my sister I loved my sister until the bitch broke up with me. I am also a son of stud as well. Fucked every girl in my family tree. But you know, I live in red states, and I live in blue states. And I want to educate you on this. All right. All right.

Fuck yeah. How long? Oh, man. I saw you at the fight last night. You was doing the press conferences with all those prize winner fighters. How long have you been in Los Angeles? Well, I'm actually in Dana Point, but I've been in California for two months. Holy shit.

I'm here. Fuck yeah, you are. Yeah. Hell yeah. I like your style man your cadence is very blue collar comedy thank you are you wearing pajama pants

or are those hospital pants no of all things there's some German lady in Hermosa Beach she owns one of those new age mystical clothing stores they're good coat pants when'd go to Coke Pants and I'd go to Miami. Coke Pants? Yeah.

You go on the ship and do some lines. That's like Miami Vice. Yeah. I don't know about this. I don't know about this. I got my meth jeans but I left those at home.

Tony Touchstone. What's your name again? Eric Carter. Eric. Yeah. You speak well. You've got a likable energy. I would say you don't have to be so...

I'm not into the hard edge stuff. It doesn't match you. That's my opinion. You're like a likable guy. Southern, you can play... I'm not telling you how to do your act, but I can see it. There's so many different ways to go. Meaning you'd be the southern guy who lives in San Diego. I don't want to get into that. But I'm looking at the positives

meaning you speak well, you have confidence, a little bit of a character there. So there's something. But, you know, I'm just not into the harsh. You're going to go further up front, I think, without doing the cocaine stuff. You can, but make sure it's right on and there's smart cocaine jokes and then, you know, the stuff with the sister that's been done before. Right, yeah, I'd definitely lose that. Did you do comedy in Mississippi? No, I've never done

comedy until tonight. Did you have electricity? Is this your first time, or did you go up that stage? Give him a nice hand. That's right. Well, in that case, that's always good to know. Hell yeah. Yeah, for the first time that's not bad. Thank you.

Right, and I wouldn't do that set again. I'll forget about it in five minutes. Great. It's five minutes longer than we remember but no what's great is that you have such a style too just Mississippi just it's unbelievable

and it's priceless people wish I've met so many people starting out in comedy that wish that they had a viewpoint like that. Just somewhere to jump off of. You can play that Billy Goat fucking... You can play idiot for the rest of your life.

Or you can try to be like other people and you'll be one of those people that's out here for 19 years before you book an extra casting role. You're going to end up in some fucking, you know. Play the idiot. You got to get here a little bit late because, you know, they've already casted and filmed the last season of Breaking Bad. You have a great look for that.

I mean, there's going to be something that pops up. You know what I mean? And so it's good that you're in the game. It's much more fun than being in Mississippi. Absolutely. It's boring. Hell than being in Mississippi. Absolutely. It's boring. Hell yeah. What are you doing?

Like, how do you make your money out here? You just got here two months ago. You just live military? No, my brother served, but I never served. Actually, I picked up on that. I picked up on that. Thank you. I just drifted out here, man.

Just left the trailer park. I just said, fuck it. And just came out to California. And I had nothing else to do. Wow. Here I am talking to you. Keep it real. Keep going there. Yeah. I don't know

what the hell I'm doing. Someone told me there was something going on here, and I showed up. Nobody knows what the fuck they're doing the first time or after the first time. It takes tons and tons of times, but I'll tell you, you're already ahead of the curve because most people think that they have things figured out

after their first time. And the fact that you're smiling and you're not taking it too seriously gives you a huge edge over people that get nervous and don't believe in trusting their instincts. So good luck with everything. I'm so glad that everything started here.

Please come back, sign up again. That's Eric Carter at The Bad Guy. Thank you. Thank you, gentlemen. I can't believe you bought those pants. Did you need a shower or something? We have showers here.

What do you need? He lives in Dana Point. We left the mobile home. Well, I left the mobile home. Some I'm good. He lives in Dana Point. We left the mobile home. Well, I left the mobile home. Some ladies let me live with her in Dana Point. I don't know how to fuck around. How's her water pressure? Oh, it's good.

A lot better than the outhouse back at home. Oh, my God. That's all the shit you've got to be talking about. Mobile home, outhouse. Have you heard of Wi-Fi? You know what that is? That's a martial arts. That's funny. Guys, trust me? You know what that is? That's a martial arts. That's funny.

Guys, trust me. I know what I'm doing. There were shows that worked out that were just starting out. There were nothing that have gone on to greet millionaires. A lot. I know what I'm doing. All right, you're a good job. Good job.

Just keep doing it. That is a perfect one, by the way. Take the Wi-Fi thing, you know what I mean? Say, you know, somebody asked me if I know what Wi-Fi was. Something like, you know, I'm like, is that martial arts? You know what I mean? Take what you're given. You know what I mean?

There he goes. Call me on Twitter. Eric Carter. Go back to your seat, Eric. Go back to your fucking seat. Call me maybe. You're not in Mississippi anymore. Welcome to Pink Road.

Welcome to Hollywood. Third grade education. Reading the USA Today. I never got an answer of what he did for work, right? I don't know. It doesn't matter. Probably works at a beach shop or a coffee shop. Where do you work, Eric? Who, me?

Yeah, coffee house? What was the last job you had for money? I'm a dishwasher in Dana Point. What's that? I'm a dishwasher. You're working with a bunch of Mexicans. I'm a dishwasher. Holy shit. At what norms?

Huh? At what norms? I don't know what that means. Oh. Might want to keep it. Dishwasher. Taking a job from a Mexican. How dare you? All right, everybody.

You know what? We should probably move on to our final segment of the show for time, right? Sorry to all the comedians that didn't get up. It seems like a lot. We spent a lot of time on people tonight. Sorry for you guys who signed up that didn't get up. We're going to move on to our final segment of the show, which is always exciting and fun. There's two lovely young ladies that are part of every single show that we've had. And they've been being built here 60 seconds a week for 16 weeks.

This is their 16th show. And so let's flip it this time. And going first tonight from the great state of Florida, she dropped out of college to pursue her stand-up comedy career. And that all started here in this room. Put your hands together

for our friend and yours, the one and only Kimberly Kahn. Thank you. Put your hands together for our friend and yours, the one and only Kimberly Kahn. So I recently started dating someone new, and I'm really excited about it. I think that the best part of having a new boyfriend is pretending that I'm sane in the beginning. I'm like, oh, you got blocked out last night? That's so funny. No, yeah, your friend Kate is so cute. I want to go down on you. But realistically, like two months later, phone rings, he hits decline, and I'm like, who's mom? I bet it's your little friend Kate, huh?

It's because you drink so much. Is it because I don't go down on you? That's it. There you go. And you get 2 minutes and 32. 6 seconds on the clock. But at least it's a new one. I would make the examples funnier. Yeah, it's really new.

I would keep the going down on you thing, but I would switch the two of both things. Because that's a potential for four more laughs that you have there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Just because it's a rule of three type of thing doesn't mean that the first two can't be funny as well. Gotcha. And everything starts as sort of a one-liner sometimes, unless you take that approach. Anyway, point being that that's a good new thing. What was the, what was the, oh yeah, I also feel like originally when you started it, talking about pretending to be sane, I mean, you can give that example later, but I also feel like there's something to be acknowledged in, like, it's almost like how when people wake up in the morning to a phone call, they don't want to sound like they just woke up. Like everybody tries to do a normal voice. I feel like there's something in comparing that to that.

Pretending to be sane. Almost like how you clear your throat to try to get the grogginess out of the morning and you'll cover the phone or something like that. I feel like fighting that type of thing with craziness is interesting too. You slaughtered last week. Oh yeah, Brody. Did you go?

No, I didn't. I liked it. I mean, I don't know what the whole process is exactly. It's my theme makeup, Brody. Is there any way you can remove the... Stop that right now. I'm just kidding. I'm just looking at the big picture.

All right. Is that Afghan? Is that Afghan? that right here just looking at the big picture all right I mean I again I know it's a new thing but just like overseeing it all I felt like yeah there's a bit there I saw there's a beginning there was a middle there was an end so I complimented commend you for that and you don't keep listening to Tony on that. You know, yeah, I see other things. I see the likability. I see the smiling.

That's what I would say to all the comedians. I see her tonight. They really have a good, you know, got a good voice, good point of view. Have you ever had a bit about, you know, about how women are a certain way and men are a certain way or anything like that? I notice you don't talk very much about...

Well, I'm a unit, so... No, I don't view the men and the women are a certain way and this and that. I'm just kind of like in the moment. I'm like Johnny Mansell. You know, I played baseball. I was a failed pitcher. Thanks a lot.

So I kind of do it that way but yeah I mean there's so many different forms of comedy yeah there's different you know the guys versus girls and this and that I just feel I've studied so much on comedy I always saw the new comedians it's stage time and jokes take over that and that's what we're doing here tonight yeah definitely I always tell the new comedians, it's stage time and jokes. Can't go wrong with that. And that's what we're doing here tonight. Yeah, definitely. I give you the overall opinion.

I'm a guy who's working. Tony works. Brian, obviously, we're working. But I see the overall, the big picture. And Kimberly, you've been doing a lot of spots, a lot of stage time lately, right? And you're likable. That's a good thing.

I noticed that all your bits have you playing a character. You notice that? Every time you're always just like, you're acting stuff out. Yeah. Have you ever tried to do bits that aren't? Stay away from that? No, no, just switch it up. No, it could also be part of your natural thing.

I think that's just like how I when I sit down and write jokes that's how I write. You become whatever is in the joke. Which is perfectly fine. That's just part of your thing. We're just making sure that you're aware of that. You have to know that

to be committed to it for the long term. Because you don't want to be one dimensional. It's not that it is one dimensional. But you don't want to develop a comedy voice that you don't want to be one-dimensional if it's something that it's not that it is one-dimensional but you don't want to develop a comedy voice that you don't want to be doing yeah for an hour a night down the road so you talk about going down how does that start what's the idea i just start like uh basically trying to say how like how girls try to act local in the beginning like yeah no i don't care. Yeah, did you see that girl?

She had really nice tits. And then after a few months, you're like, don't look at her. You know, like how cheap. Yeah, it's your fucking trick that you guys all do. Yeah, no, we all do it. I really dig in. I wouldn't try to make it easy. I would use examples that you can actually, that you actually know about. You know what

I'm saying? Like it almost seems like you're playing to, yeah, these are things. And that part's sort of been done. But if you can dig in and make it, you know, you're 22, right? If you can give a 22 year old's version of, and you're actually in the game, you know, you're a cute 22 year old. There's millionaires around calling you. You can probably just con over at any given point. Guys that have their own television shows coming out. You got it. Univision.

Now you're with me. So if you can figure out things, even if you haven't done them in real life, things that you would do, or specific conning fucking examples, because I think that's what will make it funny and original but as far as it goes as always great work there she is Kimberly Congin that's Kimberly Congin on Twitter correct? yeah

C-O-N-G-E-O-N she's so adorable she really is. And as always, our other lovely lady we've been constructing here. Always interesting to see what she's coming up with each week. Here she is, Sarah Mostajavi. What's up, guys? So, I'm bisexual.

Woo! Or a complete slut. I don't know. One of the two. My sexual preference is most easily defined by the early 2000s cartoon CatDog. I would have both if I could. I actually went out with this girl last week. We used to go out last year. We broke up because this guy came into the picture and gave her a bunch of things

that I couldn't. A house, a Porsche, a dick. And we went out and what sucks is that I've been on both sides of the street, you know, and so I've done the tricks, I've been the trick. And we're walking around and everything's great, and we're like holding hands, we're kissing, and it's like so, going so good, and then I get the, I'm so glad you're here for me as a friend speech, and I'm like, well, I know who's not getting any pussy tonight, alright, but immediately she follows that up with, hey, let's go to the strip club and i said i love you first started with the bear and then went to the cat i immediately get that bear going

um okay well other than the fact that you just made the bear come in a minute and seven seconds um i like your nipple shadow. Yeah, that's something you gotta look out for, man. We have this repeating problem with you. You guys are just so fucking turned on by me that it doesn't matter what I wear, what I do, it's too fucking much. No, your nipples

are popping out of your shirt. No, they're not, dude. There you go. And that guy's in the back of the room for you listeners on the other side of the world you're not gonna fool us you said this if you really want to get into it i mean don't let me bring it up the camel toe incident in two weeks ago uh you said at first you said there was no camel toe and then you admitted later that there was a camel toe no i just said i wasn't wearing panties so like maybe you saw the outline. Of course we did. You were wearing skintight yoga pants. Yeah, and so did the guy in the back of the room that night, too.

Like, it was a whole thing. You don't want distractions. Okay, in my opinion, when I got dressed today and it was hot outside. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. And the fact that we're covering that and not the material, which isn't bad, is a huge thing. that we're covering that and not the material, which isn't bad, is a huge thing. So what you're left with is a common sense situation

of you don't want to have a camel toe. You don't want to have your nipples showing. These are common sense things. What would suck is if we're like, all of your jokes are fucking terrible. But instead, you're building and you're doing something, but you're trying, you're still trying to, or if you're not

trying to, then you need to find a mirror. I'm wearing a high-heeled t-shirt and a stone. Can I raise my hand? Welcome to Hollywood, you need a full-size mirror in your apartment. Can I raise my hand? No camel toes in Hollywood. Um, I, I, I have no

problem with a camel toe. I have no problem. Brody takes the I want you to fail approach. I don't want her to fail. You asked Kimberly to take off her afghan. That was a joke. Why are you crying, Sarah?

Sarah's just her crier on Kill Tony. I'm not crying. I'm just like, I'm trying so hard and I didn't... Well, you did good, but the whole time

I'm looking at your nipples while we're sitting. Yeah, you did good. Why are you so offended of us telling you that your nipples are popping out of your shirt? When I got dressed today and it was 110 degrees outside and it wasn't cold in here, like it wasn't here. And this is where you come to learn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, blah, bitty, blah. This is where you come to learn. Your nipples can't be out when you're so confident. I don't mind it. I see a lot of comedy. I'm okay with it. Brody, you're getting terrible at this. I don't think, if you got,

if Sarah Silverman's nipples never show, Chelsea Peretti or nipples never show, I'm gonna love it. You guys are fucking distracted by my nipples. People still laughed at what I said. But they would laugh harder if your nipples aren't showing. Do you really think you're right about this?

I think they would laugh harder if the jokes were, when they get better, and your nipples are showing. That's funnier. It's actually not, Brody. I think they would laugh harder if the jokes were, when they get better, and your nipples are showing. That's funnier. It's actually not. I think it is. Brody has extreme pent-up sexual tensions. The audience applauded me.

The first time this audience applauded me, Tony. If you have nipples, I'm saying like, look, ideally speaking, yes. Brody's taking a stance on a joke, by the way, for you clappers out there. What are you saying? That the more naked the female comedian, the better that it is? I think it's funny if you've got good jokes and you're a good comedian and you're up there with a camel toe. I think it's funny.

But it adds a layer. You don't think it's a distraction. Meanwhile, you'll tell the guy that's wearing a Kenny Powers shirt that that's a distraction. Because you're looking at a message. You're reading something. The nipple is like this. You're reading a camel toe. You should have seen these pants from two weeks ago.

Okay. I'm just giving you my opinion. That's what it's all about. We don't agree on everything. I don't mind it. Why the tears, Sarah Bostadjavi? You're being built in a war zone for 16 weeks. I take it up the ass from you guys every week.

I get it. No, you really don't, first of all. Second of all, if you do, it's because it's unacceptable. And we want you to be good. It doesn't end up working for us if we end up, hey, look what we're building every week here. You guys can just talk to me about my fucking jokes. But you're distracting us. Tell me about that here. You guys can just talk to me about my fucking jokes. Like, I don't, like... But you're just... No, it's not.

Tell me about that afterwards. You always do this. You always fucking talk to me out of dress. Then we go outside and you tell me about my jokes. Like, why do you tell me I joke about my jokes? I don't want to talk to you outside, first of all. Let's hear this joke. No, you come up to me.

Second of all, this isn't... Stop talking. Sarah, stop talking. Let's hear the jokes. Let's hear about the jokes. We already heard the jokes. No, we want to hear about them. Seriously. I isn't... Stop talking. Sarah, stop talking. Let's hear the jokes. We already heard the jokes. No, we want to hear about them. Seriously. I wasn't paying attention. Wait, you two hecklers don't realize.

You two uneducated hecklers. Let's take a vote. Who saw nipples? Who heard jokes? I saw nipples. I heard jokes. Who saw nipples? These are people from the back of the room. Are you friends with Sarah? Do you know her? No, but I'm saying, like, really? Honestly, the whole first half of her bit,

I was looking at her nipples, but I could see her nipples. The reason why it's not good for a female comedian's nipples to be showing is because it is a distraction to the overall stand-up comedy. Whether it is to you or not, it doesn't matter to all the guys around you. But if her jokes and her persona and her point of view is strong, if those are getting chuckles, then it would kill if her nipples weren't showing.

Well, let her build up the bits. It's going to be a harder road, but let her build up the... let her be herself. I said the bits are good. I don't have to write tags every week for you. I don't think you understand what the show is. It's us helping you get better at the overall thing. It's not about

just jokes. It's not Kimberly. It's an entire thing. The fact that she smiles and is likable and doesn't have nipples showing wouldn't be part of something that we cover with her. I'm okay with the nipples and the camel toe. Keep on the jokes.

What you don't know is that this is evolved from her wearing, you know, stirrups and short skirts in her underwear show. It's a whole thing. It's a whole rigmarole.

And we're not saying anything bad about nipples. You look fucking hot as hell. We're trying to tell you that you're so hot that you need to fucking not have your nipples and your pussy shown

because we want to hear your jokes. What's so harsh in here? No, because these are people that are regulars on the show. It's absolutely true. We need Kimberly and Sarah to come out of this being two of the best female stand-up comedians in the world. And if instead one of them looks like a stripper on stage, it doesn't work. And it's taken a long evolution.

I think it does work if you're You're wrong. Name one that's successful. Felicia Michaels was. You just said once. Name one that's successful. Name the person, name the female comedian who's purposefully sexy on stage that is successful.

Eliza Schlesinger, isn't she sexy? She dresses down on stage. Dresses down 100% of the time. Name another one. A lot of the African American comedians, they're looking good. They can't help it. Go to your jokes as a safety approach

because I'm winning this argument. All I know is I go on the road, we have a very funny comedian in Chicago, huge breasts, high heels, she had a point of view, jokes, and crushed it. What's her name? Forget. Exactly. Well, she had a point of view, jokes, and crushed it. What's her name? Forget. Exactly.

Well, I have a bad memory. This has been a fun episode of Kill Tony. Well, this one's all about having a debate. That was just my opinion. I love you guys. Absolutely. I mean, you took the wrong end of the debate. You could have used your common sense and your comedy education and not left us seeming

like two bad guys. You're not bad guys. But what, am I supposed to go down that road and say something that I don't agree with? No. But you should agree with it. You can't name one successful comedian that dresses sexy that's a female. Maybe that's, she's

going to be that trailblazer. Yeah. That's absolutely impossible. I disagree. I wear shorts on stage, Tony. I wear fucking glasses. I don't even need them. I'm working. Anything you want to come up with? I wear a white G-Shock. I'm 43.

I have a purple one. I'm 39. There you go. So you can be different, but it is about the job. It's not about being different. There's a difference between being different and trying to be sexy on stage. Nipples and camel toe are something that nobody else has. Did she try to show camel toe?

Is that just a natural female thing? But it doesn't matter. You have to know that you can't do it on stage. You can wear whatever you want off stage all the time. She was wearing no underwear with yoga pants.

What do you think happens? Every girl that has a fucking pussy knows what happens when you have no underwear and yoga pants on. Brody, anything you want to promote? This is the end of the show. I'll be on the Oddball Comedy Tour.

You can find me in Denver this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Patriot, what do you got? At Comic Patriot on Twitter. He's at Comic Patriot on Twitter. Red Band, I'm at Tony Hinchcliffe. Thank you so much, everybody. Sorry you got dramatic in the end, everyone. That's what comedy's all about.

We're trying to build legends. I'm not trying to be mean. Tony's a great guy. He's not mean. We're trying to build legends. I'm not trying to be mean. Yeah! Comedy's a great guy. He's not mean. He's trying to help. We're all positive. I just know what I know. And I'm pretty fucking smart, by the way. I went to Arizona State. 2.52 GPA. Graduated! You got it! It's a scientific fact that I'm right 99.8% of the time.

Thank you, everybody. Good night. Good night.