KILL TONY - KILL TONY #185

Episode Date: December 13, 2016

Moshe Kasher, Brody Stevens, Josh Martin, Joel Jimenez, Ali Macofsky, Vanessa Johnston, Pat Regan, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - Date: 11/28/2016 Follow Tony: @TonyHinchcliffe Follow Yoni: @BestBarbecue To watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/KILLTONYYouTube Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/KILLTONY If you like the show, tell people about it! You can text, email, post, or send this link: https://bit.ly/KILLTONY To check out the show live in Austin, TX, go to: https://killtonylive.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connects ontario.ca please play responsibly hey this is red band and you're listening to kill tony here at death squad check out our website death squad.tv there you have everything that we do here including all the video portions of all the different shows we do. Just click on videos. Or we have tour dates. Not only is Kill Tony every Monday at the Road Famous Comedy Store, every Tuesday we have Roast Battle, which is verbal violence here at Death Squad. Every first and third Friday we have the Ice House Chronicles, which is the secret show.

It's a really cool show every first and third Friday where it's like 12 comics and we're all kind of like working out new material. It's really cool if you want to see like a different version of stand-up comedy. Like arawler version. So that's at the Ice House Pasadena. Also December

23rd, me and George Perez and we got a bunch of secret guests like Dean Del Rey, Brea, California. So December 23rd, Brea, California, me, George, and a bunch of secret guests, Death Squad Show. So check

that out. And then December 30th, me and George are going up to San Jose at the San Jose Improv. So that's going to be a lot of fun. Me and Tony are bringing Kill Tony on the road. Not only are we doing the Sketch Fest, and that's in

San Francisco. We are also doing, this is a new announcement, that we're doing the Moon Tower Festival in Austin on April 20th. 4-20, bro. That's a new announcement, so enjoy that. But you can find all the stuff we do

by just going to deathsquad.tv and clicking on tour dates. Or if you want to get Golden Pony about it, you can go to TonyHinchcliffe.com and get all the information of the Golden Pony right there. His merchandise, his tour dates, everything. And Ryan J. Ebelt, the house artist, has his own website. He draws every episode and then makes prints of all the episodes that you can buy off his website. He also has a poster for sale.

So check that out at ryanjebelt.com. And last but not least, don't forget shopsquad.tv. That's the official merchandise of the Dust Squad universe. Anytime something breaks or we need to fix something or anything, we get the money from selling shirts. I draw a shirt and put it on ShopSquad.tv. Right now we have two shirts. We have a t-shirt and a sweatshirt for the winter. We have two ones up on pre-sale right now.

For the next 48 hours, you can guarantee that you will get it by getting it in the next 48 hours. Go to ShopSquad.tv. Click 48 hours. Go to shop squad dot TV. Click on T-shirts to see both of them. Last not least, don't forget to always subscribe to kill Tony on iTunes. Search the iTunes store for kill Tony and hit subscribe or subscribe to the death squad podcast network. And then you'll get everything we do here at death squad.

Like what Brian red band do verbal violence, bedtime stories, and a bunch of stuff. So go there. All right, guys. Here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Band. Coming to you live from the world-famous Comedy Store for a brand-new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hedgecliff.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Hi, everybody. How are you? Make some noise, everyone. This is fun. Very scattered, nice, comfortable audience tonight. I'm excited about this after a cold Thanksgiving Day weekend. Welcome to the number one live podcast in the world, Kill Tony. You can't really tell by the turnout tonight. But we have a lot of people watching live online stream.

Comedians, how are you guys tonight? Some comedians over here, very depressed. Very depressed reaction from them. And here we are. What's up, Brian Redband? Put your hands together for Brian Redband, ladies and gentlemen. He's here in the flesh. He's got a new headset. Ryan J. Ebelt is here, house artist, drawing

tonight's episode from scratch right now. It's a blank sheet of paper. And the great and powerful young Jamie Vernon on the HD camera right there. Boom. He just took a picture of me giving him a shout-out. Some fun things for you listening to the podcast.

We're going to be in San Francisco doing this show. Everybody loves Kill Tony. We're going to be doing it at Sketch Fest in San Francisco, one of the biggest comedy festivals in America, January 21st. Kill Tony. And other breaking news. I'm in Dallas, Texas, January 12th, 13th, and 14th at Hyena's in Dallas.

And then Corpus Christi, February 3rd and 4th. February 7th. Oh, Calgary in the middle of February. How's this? Can I get the breaking news again? Oh, what? Yeah, this is a big one. Canada. You love me, I love you.

Huge announcement. February 14th through the 18th, I'm with you at the laugh stop at Hotel Blackfoot. Sounds like a scary gig. And then one more time maybe with breaking news, I have one more gig. Yes, I signed with CAA over a year ago and I get to work a lot ladies and gentlemen. Chicago, Illinois.

February 23rd, 24th, and 25th I headline Zany. I'm pretty busy. February 2017. There's some big announcements there and I'm going to end up going back on the road again. I'm going to continue my career in stand-up. That's great. Good idea. You're taking the whole month of December off, though.

Yeah, it's fucking incredible. It's super crazy. I don't even know what to do with myself. I have all this extra energy and everything. It's weird. I've been taking time off. If you guys don't know me, I'm a fucking genius. And I've been really milking this whole genius thing

for the last few years, working at it, trying to get better at it. You could probably understand. I'd like to give a shout out to my neighbor and one of my best friends, Rick Kozik, ladies and gentlemen, one of my favorite human beings. Literally my next door neighbor. And also

the cameraman from all your Jackass movies. My favorite form of comedy ever, literally. Jackass is one of the only things that I can watch and I guarantee to laugh. In fact, my upstairs neighbor got mad at me a few weeks ago because I found jackass

2.5 for the first time in a long time and I was laughing so hard that she actually hit the ceiling above me. I was by myself. That was the weirdest part. I was really laughing that hard. There they are, our friends over at Jackass. Who knows?

Maybe we'll get some of those goofballs on the show someday. Oh, you want another big announcement? How about this one? I'm just going to come out and say it. January 2nd, we're doing this show here in the main room. And we just confirmed today, Kevin Nealon is going to be one of the guests on that show. So that's pretty cool.

We always have two of the funniest comedians in the world as guests on this show. This week's no different. Let's bring out the guests, shall we? Put your hands together for them. It's the great Moshe Kesher and Stephen Brody. Stephens. Yep. Oh, shit.

Two of the funniest human beings in the world. All right. All right. Here you are. Hey, Tony. Welcome. Thanks, dude. How you doing?

Great. Life is good. Good. Are we plugging our dates now? You can do it now if you want. If you're in the Bay Area, I'll be at New Year's Eve at the Grand Lake Theater with a bunch of fun people. Brent Weinbach, Joe Mandy, Natasha Leggero, Melissa Villasenor, Andrew

Michon. It should be a really fun show. That Natasha, she's okay, right? She's good. She's treating me well. I love that. Newly married Moshe Kesher, ladies and gentlemen, to the great Natasha Leggero. Brody Stevens. Steven. Brody Stevens. Not married. Not married. One day, maybe.

I think I'm on the Tom Arnold, Kevin Nealon path. Getting married when I'm in the 50s or 60s. And I'm okay with that. I stay healthy. And I'm exercising. I watch videos. A lot of energy coming off this crowd right now.

It's how it is in the main room sometimes. But this is my main room. I'm here on the weekends. I do an hour. This is what? My main room. the main room sometimes, you know, but this is my main room. I'm here on the weekends. I do an hour. This is what? My main room. Your main room? Yeah.

I thought, wait a second, this isn't the Comedy Store's main room? It's that too. Oh, it's both? You have co-ownership? Well, you know, on Friday and Saturday nights, you pack them in, get about 20 people. Who packs them in? Oh, I have an email list. Things are happening.

But no, I'm not married. It is one of my favorite things to watch the great Brody Stevens work. One of the great late night comedians in the world here at the Comedy Store. Literally. If you like your comedy and you like laughing at 1 a.m., catch Brody here at the Comedy Store. How dare you, Tony? It's 1.30 a.m. What do you guys think?

Should we meet the band? You guys know the Kill Tony band. You know them. You love them. Here they are. It's Pat Reagan, Jeremiah Watkins, and Joel Jimenez. Uh-oh. Oh, there's Hitler. Oh, cool. This is awesome.

I'm in my comfort zone right now. There's a Hitler approaching the stage. It's a Del Castro, ladies and gentlemen. A good Hitler. And Darth Vader. Wow. This is... Very interesting. Wow. This is very interesting. Great.

Wow. All right. All right, I guess. Okay, I guess it's just Joel tonight. There they go. Hitler and Darth Vader have left the stage altogether. All right. That's very weird. There they go. Hitler and Darth Vader have left the stage altogether.

All right. That's very weird. Okay, wait. No, they're back out again. They decided to walk off originally. That was a part maybe that was pre-written. Put your hands together for Reagan, Watkins, and Joel Jimenez, ladies and gentlemen.

Oof. Man, all right. You guys want to say anything about what just happened kill tony why is he a jew oh hitler is in the house fully committed darth vader how are you tonight there's a dark force in the house tonight is it who is it aphrodite is she here aphrodite fans in the audience, what is happening? People have been on the streets mentioning to me Aphrodite, by the way. It used to be like, yo, kill Tony! And I'd be like,

fuck yeah. And now it's like, yo, Aphrodite, bro! I'm like, isn't she the best? It's the greatest. Is she here tonight? No sign. We're on Aphrodite Watch 2016, 2017. I'm pretty sure every Monday forever. Hey, Tony, people say I'm bad.

This Vader guy, he blows up planets. That is funny. That is funny. Oh, man, that's cool. But the Vader thing is a movie, right? I put a T on here for Trump. He's a cool guy. He's trying to buy back some of the liberals

in the audience. No, I'm Trump. I'm Trump. Fidel Castro, tough week for you. How's it going, sir? Viva Cuba. Viva Cuba. Not Viva Yuda. I love this. What is this, like a dictator-like episode or something? Is that what I'm catching up on?

Nailed it. Well, what do you guys say we start the show? I have a bucket full of comedians. They signed up for the chance to do 60 Seconds in front of you. After they do 60 Seconds on stage, they're interviewed on a live podcast with comedians. We talk about their 60 Seconds. Maybe we talk about anything else in their lives.

Comedians, you know your 60 Seconds is up when you hear the sound of a kitty. Oh, that's adorable. Wrap it up then, or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. All right. There it is. A little mouse. Okay. There it is. A little mouse. Okay. There you go.

Brian's own little inside joke there for himself. Special mouse thing. Uh-oh. Oh, wow. Uh-oh. What have you had here? Oh, shit. So that's where Darth Vader would play the saxophone out of.

What was that Hitler? Is that Wagner? Hitler loved Wagner. Wagner was a composer. You've got to spell that whole joke out for this crowd. Oh, this is why we need the master race. Because people are too stupid. It's overpopulation.

I pulled the name out of the bucket, and I'm excited about that. But I just have one quick question. Darth, is there any other songs that you know how to play on the saxophone? It's all I've learned so far. What an egomaniac you are. Oh, there you go. Oh, wow. There you go.

There it is. A good short one for you tonight. All right, I pulled the name out of the bucket. Make some noise. Who knows? It could be one of the top rising comedians in the world. It could be a completely insane person that just signs up for things right off the streets. We've had it all.

It could be anywhere in between. Put your hands together for McChevy Terrell. McChevy? No Chevy, huh? Chevy? At Chevy Terrell? Chevy Terrell, here he comes. He had to make sure there was no other Chevys

in the room. Make some noise for Chevy Terrell, everybody. What's up? A little bit about me. I got this disability called cerebral palsy, which make me walk and talk like an alcoholic. And people always think I'm drunk, and I don't drink. Like this one time I got pulled over by the police.

They charged me with DUI. The cop going to tell me I ain't walked the line straight. I told him I never walked the straight line today in my life. A little bit about me. Uh. I got, I'm mad because I signed up for the Special Olympics and they denied me and said I couldn't get in because I got a felony.

I got a felony. My probation officer told me that I ought to be ashamed of myself. Out here committing all these crimes. You could be an inspiration to other handicapped people. I'm like, yo. Keep going, Chevy. Keep going. That was hard to do.

I'm like, yo, I am an inspiration to other handicapped people. How many people do you know are handicapped selling bags of cocaine? the rest of the other handicapped people. How many people you know are handicapped selling bags of cocaine? God, I love this show. I ever mention how much I love this show? Chevy, you're a bad motherfucker. How long you been on stand-up?

Seven years. Seven years. That's so cool. It's like a disabled gangster. I'm like blood or crip, but I already know it's crip. Yeah Crip all the way. That's cool. That was funny man. It's very funny first tonight and first spot in the parking lot He's got it all going for him I mean that felonies couldn't get into the Special Olympics shit is such a unique idea that I

That made me laugh genuinely for a long I just thought it was so funny to think of you getting... Is that true at all? It can't be true, but I just loved it. It was so goddamn funny. Did you really sell cocaine? Yeah. Wow. That.5

second beat that you took took that from it being just a normal answer to one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. We all got to see you almost live for a second. It was beautiful. So close to pulling the trigger on a lie. No, no, that was a joke. I could tell you knew how you were going to say it if you committed.

Wow. So you really got arrested for it? Yeah. Man. That's cool. Did they only send the dope fiends that couldn't run fast to you? No, I got them. Like the track people, they're like, no, don't send them to him because they'll just grab the dope and run.

I got robbed the first day I tried this. Of course you got robbed. You got robbed selling dope the first day? You're the greatest coke dealer to rob on earth. You just grab the dope and run. Dude didn't even use a gun. He just pushed me down. It is so funny.

This is like you should have a TV show. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this is good. Oh, my God. Do you audition for? Yeah, speaking of TV shows, do you audition for things? I just got here about three weeks ago, so I'm trying. Where'd you get here from?

Ohio. It took him a long time to get here. Wow, we have some Ohio people here. Did your buddy drive the car on campus today? Oh, Brody, too soon. Oh, come on. Give me a break. Too soon, Brody.

Oh, give me a break. Give me a break. Go Buckeyes. Big win over Michigan this week. We hope everybody's safe and recovers quickly over there. The great state of Ohio. What part of Ohio are you from? Akron.

I'm from Youngstown. Did you know that? No, I ain't know that. Fuck yeah. It's about a 45-minute drive. Or for you, a nine-hour walk. The Akron Zips, correct? LeBron James, Alcoholics Anonymous.

You familiar with that? Yeah. Straight out of Akron. They, too, sold crack. This is great. I think this, I really would like to make this show. There you go. Oh, this is good.

Cerebral palsy in the hood, selling dope. This is awesome. And the real shity in the hood, selling dope. Yep. This is awesome. And the real shit that goes down with it. How else? Like, I mean, where in, were you in obviously a tough part of Akron, right? Yeah. Man, other crazy shit happen from your cerebral palsy around the hood? All types of shit.

People always think you're doing some kind of crip walk or something like that. I usually get away with it because they think I'm retarded. Would you get special treatment? Would they be cool with you? Hell no. Oh, really? Okay.

Sometimes they leave the guys alone. He's an athlete. Leave him alone. That's Chevy. He's good. After a, sometimes they leave the guys alone. Oh, he's an athlete. Leave him alone. You know, that's heavy. He's good. After a while, you know, they leave me alone. The police, it's good. Being handicapped is a good cover for the police because they don't think I'm doing shit. But just chilling.

They'll give you, like, two times. They'll be like, oh, it's okay. He's not well. And then the third time, they're like, fuck this dope dealer motherfucker. Arrest him. Fuck this retarded ass dope dealer. Was there anything, like obviously, so sports wasn't your thing. Do you have any special skills or talents other than being really funny and cool?

Yeah, that's about it. That's it. And were you doing stand-up a lot in Akron? Yeah. And then you moved out here to make it as a stand-up? Yeah. Beautiful. Well, I mean, you're already getting lucky, getting pulled out of a bucket,

which is a huge part of this fucking tough town. Everybody's career. Is he a piece of chicken? That's racist, Tony. Brody. Brody going for it. This is Brody Stevens. He goes for it sometimes.

Don't make me work tonight. All right, there's one of your two. There's one of the two SpongeBob. I know how this Aryan crowd is. Trust me, I know the dark colors. Red Band, could you turn up this mic? I've been trying to say something for like 30 minutes. Whoa, angry Darth Vader.

Whoa. Whoa. That is so cool. I've never seen Darth Vader. I like the idea of Darth Vader just going like, you know what, fuck this. Can you please turn up my microphone? I'm sorry.

I am the leader of the Imperial Galaxy. And you're treating me like a fucking Jedi right now. Are you fucking kidding me right now? Are you fucking kidding me? That's so cool. Is this the fucking Death Star or not? Seriously, I'm really fed up With the dark side

Oh shit Let me ask you a question What's your love life like? You ever hook up with a chick that has cerebral palsy? Are there like hangouts for that or something? Nah, I usually fuck normal girls Yeah You're the funniest person in the world I usually fuck normal girls. Yeah.

You're the funniest person in the world. Like, why do you call them normal? It's you. You're that. It's so good. That's dope. Chevy, you're a fucking beast, man. You're an unstoppable force.

How much material do you have? Like, how long is the longest set you've done? A longer set, about 30 minutes. That's cool. What's your comfortable amount? I'm comfortable at 20 minutes. I was just going off the head of the 30 minutes. Just going off the top of my head that other 10 minutes. I got 20

minutes. If you can come to the Ice House Friday, you can have a spot. There you go. That's cool. You're so funny. You're so funny. You're so funny. I also like the idea of you writing only 20 minutes

and being like, I'm ready to leave Akron. 20 minutes. I'm ready. The world shall see my 15 minutes. But you are. I think once you get

some reinforcement here with your sets here, you're going to start being more confident in your writing and you're going to write more and you're going to be performing more than you can in Akron and you're

just completely unstoppable. I'm so glad that you got pulled out of the bucket. That's the type of cool shit that it's all about. Do you have any questions for us or anything? Is it Chevy or Chevy? Chevy. I got questions. I want you to write a script. I'll produce that shit. If you write a script about a

fucking cerebral palsy dude selling dope in the hood, I just... A fucking normal girl's... I want to see... Yeah. Like, so many things have been done, and that has not been done. You know what I'm saying?

And I think that's... And the fact that you have an authentic voice for it, that's so cool. Anyway, you know. Listen, keep in touch. Email me. I'll never email you back. That's how Hollywood works.

It'll be your first lesson. Okay. Yeah. Are you on Instagram? ever. I'll never email you back. That's how Hollywood works. It'll be your first lesson. Okay. Yeah. Are you on Instagram? Yeah, I'm on Instagram. Okay. That's how Brody's going to help your career. He's going to follow you on Instagram.

I do pretty okay on, well. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, there he is. Chevy Terrell. T-E-R-R-I-L-L. You can get sponsored by Chevy. Chevy, C-H-E-V-Y. You can get sponsored by Chevy.

So Twitter and Instagram, Chevy, C-H-E-V-Y, T-E-R-R-I-L-L. How about one more time for Chevy, ladies and gentlemen? Good. Somebody call Wayne, brother. I mean, couldn't you see that on Adult Swim? I mean, this is such a funny idea. And since it's true to him, he can get away with it. It'll be amazing.

Special Olympics shit. God damn. Alright. Next. Here we go. They should make a movie about Darth Vader. I think he's an interesting character. Maybe it's just me. There you go. A little more from your friend Hitler. What sucks about doing Hitler at the beginning of a show

is if people aren't into it, you have to be Hitler for the whole show. And you're like, God damn it. I'm funny as myself. Right, Hitler? This is true. I pulled another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Yusuf Ali.

What's up, y'all? I'm too broke to be out here. From Cleveland, I just noticed that they don't have any dollar stores out here. Y'all have dollar stores out here? Yeah. See, that's not a grammatical error. I don't mean family dollar or dollar tree. I mean dollar store.

In Cleveland, we had dollar store. It was spelled D-O-L-L-A-S-T-O with the little thing over the O. And you get what you pay for in a dollar store, so watch out. They had condoms in there. And I don't suggest anybody buy none of the condoms out there. That's real risky. If you do, they come with a coupon for a free EPT test. But I did buy the fake plastic wrap, and I learned my lesson.

I put some peas in the microwave the night before. Put this plastic shit in here. These plastic melted and wrapped each pea individually. Now I got hungry, hungry hippo pellets and fucked up jokes. Oh man, what else is fucked up? A lot of cocaine talk out here in LA. I don't do cocaine.

I have eaten my fair share though. Explain that real quick. I didn't show up to the cocaine party with a knife and fork. My father used to sell dope and then make me lick the plate afterwards. So I ate about a quarter key worth of cocaine from the ages of 8 to 12. Yusuf Ali, everybody. Fuck yeah.

What's up? What's up, man? Man, Ohio seems like a fucking war zone. It's Oakland, and I'm scared right now. I mean, I got the first cerebral palsy guy, but two? Two in a row? No, man, that's just California weed. Come on.

That's just California weed. That was my joke. Thanks, Jeremiah. You see me raise my hand? Well, go for another fried chicken joke. It'll probably sail through the air. I didn't say fried chicken. I said chicken.

Most just upped it to fried. That's racist. I did grilled chicken. You did fried. No, nobody eats a bucket of grilled chicken, Brody. Yeah, let me get a bucket of grilled chicken breast. I've seen it happen. No, you haven't.

Hashtag timing. Jeremiah, you did my... I have to think of another joke now Yousef what's happening man What's up man I mean yeah you were talking about The dollar store and stuff What's

Who are you I'm cheap I'm a comedian And I'm trying to make some money man What do you do for work What What What and I'm trying to make some money, man. So I'm trying to save all the money I have. What? Trying to save the little bit of money I have,

so that's why I shop and look for dollar stores. Right now I work wiping asses at an adult health care center, adult day health care center. Can I give you my mother's number? Yeah. Wouldn't you have loved it if he said, I beat up drug dealers with cerebral palsy? That's what he does.

You said, this is what I want to see. I want to see a little more energy. Just a little more energy. I think, now, the jacket, it's a little big right now, but I know it's like, I always think, like, no jacket. You got to find out who you are, but a little more energy. Maybe like a nice Hugo Boss jacket. I'm still just like, oh, three. White guy, whatever. There's something there.

Oh, Brody, you're going crazy. The fashionista Brody Stevens over here. Well, I'm wearing Vans tonight. I know what's going on. I think you look cool. I thought the only problem I had was the dollar store joke. I didn't think it was structured right because it was like you were using dollar, right? But you didn't say at any point. I didn't think it was structured right. Because it was like, you were using dollar, right? But you didn't say at any point, oh no, I didn't say dollar.

I know that's the point of the joke, but you actually didn't articulate that. You didn't say that. I thought I said it wasn't a grammatical error. But that's not grammar. And I'm not trying to be a dick. But it's just, I'm saying, it's just not. I'm saying, so I just thought that joke could have been clearer. Right, that's the wrong word for that joke.

Yeah, I just thought it could have been clearer. So how long have you been wiping asses at a... I just started that, actually, about three weeks ago. And that's literally, like, what your job is? You're, like, the ass wiper guy? I have, you know what, I don't get up in there, but... Do they pick your name out of a bucket, too, to see who has to wipe the ass? I got three guys who I'm in charge of when I gotta take them to the bathroom, man.

Two of them are ass wipers. That's okay. Two of them are ass wipers themselves? The third one, no, I'm an ass wiper. The third guy, I gotta change his diaper. So, yeah, I didn't. And you're not like doing woman ass, right? No, no, that's.

They don't let you do that? No, no. Is that right, they do a gender split? It's enough Filipino nurses there to do... That's not racial, it is. Male or female? Female Filipino nurses. I use baby wipes.

On your old people? You know what? They give us baby wipes, but they should give us something to shower them with because there's not enough baby wipes in the world to wipe a grown man's diaper ass. It's one thing to shit and use a baby wipe, but to clean a man's ass from changing his diaper. They wear diapers, but they're grown men,

so it's a lot of shit. It gets smushed all around. That's cool. Once you drop the dollar store material, you turn into fucking a performer. He's like, they don't have enough

baby wipes in this world looking mugging for the audience. It takes a lot of patience and baby wipes to wipe a grown man's ass. At least, it's like a 38 wiper.

It's a 38 wiper. Scented? Like a, like what? Scented. Like the baby wipe What flavor Oh no that

Fresh baby fresh What flavor Well shit You know what I don't know who provides them It's kiwi They're pretty good They're pretty They're unscented

Yusuf What do you think It's an ass flavored baby wipe Oh what Shove it in Hitler go ahead It's an ass flavored baby wipe There you go

Yusuf What do you think The flavor of ass Oh okie dokie Now it's a thing shove it in. Hitler, go ahead. It's an ass flavor, baby. There you go. Yusuf, what do you think of ass? Oh, okie dokie, now it's a thing. Mmm, smells delicious. Mmm, now I'm Mexican. I'm Mexican Hitler. You know that's funny, Tony. Because he said he's Mexican

he don't sound German or Mexican now you're getting it man when you're wiping these people's asses do you ever like think about contemplate things

no I just gotta make it mechanical I just think like it's not this is not a human being this is not a ass this is just a job this is just a wet wipe I'm just that's like art I gotta think, like, this is not a human being. This is not an ass. This is just a job. This is just a wet wipe.

That's like art. I got to think of it like art. Yeah, what's up with your nose while you're doing that? They give us masks. Masks? But do you put extra something, like some Febreze or something? Did somebody say mask? You just got to take your mind off of it.

That's the only thing you can do. Right. It cannot be an ass. It gotta be like I said, it's artwork. We're all gonna need it one day, so I don't make fun of that stuff. Yousef, I think that's an honorable job.

But, unfortunately... Two applause breaks for wiping ass, by the way. For those of you keeping tally. I've seen soldiers up here get less applause than what this audience is giving out for ass wiping tonight. No, man, I need a comedy applause. Does it pay well? It's not minimum wage, is it?

Man, it pays shit. Right. It pays shit. It pays shit. What are the hours like? Part time. Part time. Part time. The clients aren't happy about that

because they're shitting all day long. It's like, where's that comedian from Cleveland? I'm trying to get my ass wiped. He needs to clarify the grammatical thing too before he wipes my ass. It's not grammar. How long have you been doing stand up? Long enough to know that it's not grammatical. too before he wipes my ass. It's not grammar. How long have you been doing stand-up?

Long enough to know that it's not grammatical. No, seven years. Seven years. Seven? That was seven the other number too. Me and Chevy go back. Oh, you know Chevy. Oh, that's cool. Akron, Cleveland, LeBron connection. So... Also seven million Jews.

Oh, wow. I didn't want to say it, but then I thought about it, then I did say it. Okie dokie. It was a good riff. Just to let everybody know, for anybody who's listening, the things that Reagan and Watkins and Joel get to do, they have total carte blanche on the show. They get to do whatever they want. And it's always a surprise to me whatever they come out as. In no way are we, you know,

Hitler. In no way are we endorsing and supporting Hitler's genocide of the Jewish people in the 40s. Darth Vader, however, planet Endor was sort of boring, you know what I mean? Actually, they didn't blow up Endor. Spoiler alert, Endor didn't get

blown up. I bet Hitler wished he had a mask he could take off right about now. No? Nothing? Good thing they turned that mic up, Jeremiah. All right, Moshe. It's back on! Let's do this! So it's part-time? So it's like Uber?

Like the budget? Did they tell you how much you're it's like Uber? Like the budget? Uber ass wipes. Uber. Do they tell you how much you're going to get paid depending on the ass? Per load. If it's a bigger ass? You get a little less. It's actually per wet wipe. Yeah. Do you get time and a half the day after Thanksgiving?

Oh, God. Oh. That's a good question. They use Surgeon. Oh, god damn it We shit regularly as like Wiping our own ass But ain't nothing like that ground up turkey shit

Oh gosh No doubt I respect that Is there any other part of your job besides ass wiping? Wait who's this new guy that just came on the podcast? This white boy over here Oh yeah I mean we exercise him And give him ambulatory

exercises and shit like that. Walk him around. That's cool. Throw balls and shit. Yeah. What are they doing with Kanye West right now? Is that kind of stuff happening? Oh, come on. What? I know what he's going through. Kanye fucked up. Feelings

matter, bro. Do you talk about any of the butt wiping stuff yet on stage? No. I could. It depends, man. Sometimes. It does. It depends. You just said a joke. Actually, my problem is I don't have a routine of set jokes.

Tonight, I didn't know. I had no way to be prepared for this shit, so I just came up and just talked. You did a good job coming up here. I didn't even get to record the shit on my phone. You don't repeat jokes? I repeat them I just don't have like an order or like what opener. He doesn't make a set list every time.

So you don't have like a number one joke or number two joke? I had no idea what I was going to do in 60 seconds. That's a funny joke from Jeremiah Watkins. No no. No, no. Yeah, I have one. I think Tony's question was good because I'm definitely more interested in hearing about you wiping the ass of senior citizens in your quest for Hollywood fame than I am in a 99-cent store joke. You know what I mean?

I think it's better than the – I think you should do the movie about that, and I'll do the cerebral palsy one. Everybody's getting a job tonight. The least powerful producers in Hollywood are on this panel. But I think it is true, Yusuf, is that you were sort of in a tough position following Chevy because Chevy was so funny because he was talking about being cerebral palsy and being from the hood, you know what I mean?

And you sort of just talked about it felt like dollar stores. It doesn't seem as relatable, whereas if you talked about something as personal to you as having to wipe other men's asses to survive in this current climate, I mean, you got two applause breaks after your set by talking about being an ass wiper. And I think you should embrace it. I can incorporate some ass wiping. Just scoop it. Just go for it. Yeah, just write it down and then spread it out

and then wipe up all the good jokes. I don't know. I think that's a rocky road ahead of me. I have other shit jokes prepared that can accent the ass wiping joke. Ascent? Ascent. All right. Ascent.

Yusuf, it was nice to meet you. There he goes. Yusuf Ali, everybody. He's on Twitter at NextGreatAli. Are you related to Nick Yusuf? Zinger. Zinger. I love Zingers. Coconut covered.

Hostess Zinger? No, who made Zingers? Yep. I pulled another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Kyle Christ. Whoa. Kyle Christ? Kyle? Kyle Christ.

Kyle Christ? All right. Huge fan of your brother's work, Kyle. Is he from the 700 Club? What's he going to do, come back in three days? Kyle Christ? How about Todd Risenmay? Yeah, this guy was ready.

Todd Risenmay. Todd Risenmay, I like it. Put your hands together for Todd, everybody. Thank you. I'm from Idaho. Land of potatoes. Grow potatoes, harvest potatoes, cook methamphetamines. It's Idaho.

Do I look like Matt Damon? Give a fuck what you think. My mom thinks I look like Matt Damon. She calls me every time she sees Matt Damon on TV. She knows it's not me on the TV screen. She's just accidentally proud. Takes the pressure off because Matt Damon became my success surrogate. And he's fucking fertile, man. He's producing everything. All right. So I'm Todd Risenmay. My name's Todd

Risenmay. When I was a kid, they called me Todd Rissingay. I said that to a friend of mine. He was like, they called you Todd Rissingay to insult you? That's not okay. Because they could have called you Tar-Jizzingay. It would have been way funnier. That's about it, right? All right, getting off early. If you say so, yeah. 53 seconds of Todd Rissingay.

Jizzingay. Welcome to the show, Todd. This is your first time on, right? Idaho, how long have you been here? Been here seven years. Seven years. Seven, seven, seven. Ohio, Ohio, Idaho.

Oh my gosh. Crazy. Guys, what is happening right now? Whoa. Wow, he knew. He knew. So Todd, let's get into it. Seven years you've been doing stand-up? No, I've only been doing stand-up for like two months now.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I've been doing like improv and sketch comedy. How's that been going for you? It was cool. I got hired by Second City and sketch comedy. How's that been going for you? It was cool. I got hired by Second City to like perform on a boat for a while. What was the boat? It was just a rowboat, but it was something, right?

Yeah. All aboard the Yes End. What kind of terrible boat is this, by the way? Can you imagine? Come on in and name a color while you're at it. Orange, you say? I just happened to have one. Where would you like to go?

Can I get a location? That's cool. That's the captain? That's a fun tip. It was like a luxury cruise. It was full of middle class working New Yorkers. Oh, yeah. It was a luxury cruise full of middle class working...

How? It was cheap as hell. Wait, you're Hitler again? I'm going to take... Just a slight short announcement. I'm going to take my armband off now because I have an armband. If we're a band, it's just too much.

All right. The slow creep out of character. I don't know. What's your name again? Todd. I think Todd Resume is funny. That's what I'm thinking. You're in L.A., Todd Resume.

Resume is way funnier than Chiz and Gay, for sure. No, I'm kidding. That's fine. I'm following two black guys. I'm going to do everything I can to be different. I'm going to do everything I can to be different. I see them. I'm going to be high energy.

I'm going to tap into that improv thing. Boom. I'm up here. So I'm seeing guys standing. First guy, I get it. Standing. Cerebral palsy. Buddy.

All right. Standing. The white guy. You got to take charge. Jesus Christ. That's what I would have done. Say something about chicken again. cerebral palsy buddy all right standing the white guy you got to take charge jesus christ brody stevens what is wrong with saying that from the hangover hangover to and trump's transition team clearly i mean what the fuck i don't you're the white guy you need to show our strengths get it together following two black black eyes, low energy. Step it up. Dominate.

Not white enough. I'm headlining on weekends here. You got it. Learn from me. I get to do an hour on Friday and Saturday, but I'm wrong? Fine. I'm parking for free. My name's on the wall. And I'm doing Detroit

on January 31st. So don't tell me I don wall, and I'm doing Detroit on January 31st. So don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. I crushed it last night in the OR at 11 p.m. Yes, thank you. Watch your language. I don't need to curse. I think it's time that you get whiter, Todd. So when I say stuff, let's start reacting.

If he's headlining Detroit on January 31st, he's definitely correct. Who's the feature act? Murder? Hangover 1, Hangover 2, Due Date. Thank you. You'll never take that away from me. Tosh.0, twice. Nobody does it twice.

I did. The great Brody Stevens. So go ahead and keep making me feel like crap. No, they're not doing it. They're not making you feel like crap. They did. They got in my head. Who? The audience? Todd.

Yes. Todd. Todd, I thought that you – I didn't know that the guy was gay. I thought that would have been an important point of clarification. That who? The guy who was like – they called you Todd Resnick gay. Oh, right. He did the stereotypical gay voice, but you were like my gay friend. Yeah. I was just like, wait, you Todd Resin Gay. Oh, right, yeah. He did the, like, stereotypical gay voice,

but you were like, my gay friend. Yeah, I should have said my gay friend. Wait, is this dude gay? You know what I mean? Yeah, he was gay. He's really gay.

No, obviously. I heard the accent. But I should clarify. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, I got good points. It's not grammatically correct. Thank you. And make the guy gay.

That's sort of all I got here. Thanks, man. What do you do for work? Right now, Uber. Uber. I just quit my catering job with less than an hour's notice. Catering doesn't quite get the same ass-wiping response from this audience. I don't know, but you've fed people at times that are handicapped?

Serving hors d'oeuvres. So when it comes out of their ass, they get applause. But putting it in their mouth is nothing from this audience. Guess not. I think it would be cool, actually, if you were somehow serving the senior citizens that Yusuf had to wipe the ass. Like a weird cool circle. Oh, he's going to hate tonight. You know what it is?

It's seven bean chili, just to keep on with our seven theme. Fuck yeah, Cincinnati chili. Thank you so much. Thank you, Castro. Big fan. Todd, you have any other special skills or talents or anything like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Mormon.

Wow. That's not a special skill or a talent. Fuck yeah, it is, man. You just ran over his bicycle. I didn't drink alcohol all through high school. It was fucking insane. So what do you do now? Now you just get fucked up.

Now I drink human blood. Do you wear like a onesie under your clothes? No. That's what the Mormons do. I went to school in Arizona. Oh, yeah, yeah. They do wear underwear under their clothes. That's like blessed.

Yeah, I mean, the Jews wear underwear, too. I wear Under Armour. Nine-inch inseam. I haven't shaved since a long time ago. And baby wipes did change my life. Because I played Division. Okay, never mind. Man, what the fuck were we just talking about?

He was Mormon. Mormon underwear. That's right. That's right. And you had a gay friend growing up. Was he like... I mean, how does that were we just talking about? He was Mormon. Mormon underwear. That's right. That's right. And you had a gay friend growing up. Was he like... I mean, how does that work? Is that real?

Well, all Mormons are lightweight gay, right? Right, yeah. Like, just their affect is kind of gay. Even when they're not homosexual, they're kind of like... Their vibe is very gay. They're just nice. Yeah, they're like nice,

and they want to hang out. You know what I mean? They ride bikes. Suck your dick. Yeah. Suck your dick a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, no, my friend wasn't gay when I was growing up. I have gay friends now because I live in L.A., You know what I mean? They ride bikes. Suck your dick. Yeah. Suck your dick a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

No, my friend wasn't gay when I was growing up. I have gay friends now because I live in L.A. But in Idaho, people are like so fucking scared to be gay. I didn't even know who. Right. Yeah. You didn't know where to get your dick wet, right? Yeah.

It was hard, man. Just got to move to L.A., baby. That's right. I'm home. What is your love life like? Very good, Brian. It was great for like half... I just broke up with my girlfriend like yesterday.

Oh, shit. You quit your catering job and broke up with your girlfriend? Wait, after Thanksgiving? Yeah. You broke up with her yesterday? Yeah. Tell us the story. It sucks, man.

You're going to make me fucking cry. Go ahead and cry, dude. Use your real life and your emotions. Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry! Snoop really

needed to jump in there? You know who would cry is Matt Damon Yeah you would So you don't fuck with me How long did you get here for? Like six months Yeah we live together right now You still live together

It's fucking brutal So why'd you break up with her? I don't know we just started talking about it And yeah We both really like each other But we talked about it And that was it I don't know. We just started talking about it. We both really like each other, but we talked about it. And that was it. I don't know why. Are you like no sex Mormon shit?

No, nothing like that. It's just, yeah. Was the sex good? I don't want to be in a relationship. Was the sex part good? Yeah, the sex was great. She got a fat ass? Yeah, she's got a great ass.

Great. That's cool, man. That's awesome. Sorry for your loss, man. Thank you. Huh? Dude, man. That's awesome. Sorry for your loss, man. Thank you. Huh? Dude, what about her boobs? Like, what do they look like?

Hey, why don't you back off, Darth? Oh, sorry. Todd. Todd. Yeah. What was your least favorite thing about your new ex-girlfriend? What if he did start crying, though, when you asked about her boobs? He's like, your boobs were perfect.

What was your least favorite thing about her? Just say it, Todd. Let it out. We were around each other too much. We moved in too quick. That's what happened. You're damn motherfucking right you did. You broke up on Thanksgiving.

Yesterday. You left over what? Get it? Left over? Yeah, yeah. Let's just say there's peaks and valleys to this conversation. 818, till I die. Enjoy it.

But here's the deal, people. We've got to pick it up a notch for him. Brody. I don't like it. Brody, you shoehorned a leftover joke in there. Come on. What are we talking about? Todd, what's going on

Todd Brody you're now not using the microphone And doing what you were doing before I want to keep it off the mic I don't want negative energy coming through things I'm trying to be positive But I do my own thing That's what I do

Let's focus on the old Todd I did I gave a great leftover joke. I got nothing. I got nothing. There's nothing more fun than when Brody is so interestingly artistically, openly bipolar, right? Not at all. Really?

It's called blue-collar Jewish from the Valley. Do you think the Chicago Cubs would let somebody who's bipolar hang out with them? Do you think the Comedy Store would let let somebody who's bipolar hang out with them? Do you think the Comedy Store would let me do an hour every Friday and Saturday night if I was bipolar? I definitely think they would. No, they wouldn't. Let's quit talking about my breakdown and get back to

his breakup. Yes. Very good, bro. Very good positive Brody. Positive Brody in the house till I die. I think that might be what's going on. I don't even fucking know yet. Yeah, you seem like you're not ready to break up with this girl. So what are you going to do tonight?

You have to go home and what? You guys only have one bed? Do you have a couch? What are you doing? Are you splitting it up? Did you guys sleep separately? I slept at my friend's house last night. You've got to be still smashing though, right? I don my friend's house last night. You've got to be still smashing

though, right? I don't know. Yeah. You've got to smash, son! But what does her vagina look like? Is it really cool? What's going on down there? Todd, where are you going to sleep tonight? I think we're going to sleep in the same room

I don't know what the fuck that's going to be like or one cool thing to do is to make sure you wake up before her and be staring at her really intensely when she wakes up you know what I mean that'll get her back for sure yeah yeah yeah

that's what Brian does to 12 year old girls oh that's Yeah, yeah. Take over until she gets back together with you. That's what Brian does to 12-year-old girls. Oh, that's... What do you have to do? I mean, it sounds like, yeah, it sounds like you're not really broken up at all. Nope. I'm sorry. I want to change the subject.

Go ahead. Why did you move to LA? You've just been doing stand-up. Oh, for improv is why you moved to LA. Is that right? Yeah, yeah. I found out what improv was when I got here. I've been too scared to do stand-up for years.

Why did you come to L.A.? You weren't doing improv? He didn't plan to. He got on an improv cruise ship and just went. No, because improv in Idaho is pointless. It's like, can I have a one-word suggestion for potato? No, I haven't finished the framework. Thank you very much.

I'm here every night, Saturday, Friday, the hour. The main room is my room. Check me out. Yeah, it hurt, right, Moshe? Yeah, you know what? These people are pieces of shit, bro. You're right. Yeah, I don't know.

I moved from Idaho because it sucked there. I wanted to be an entertainer. I was supposed to go on a mission, like a Mormon missionary mission. Where were you going to go? You don't know until they tell you where to go. I think you're going to be doing some Mormon missionary tonight when you get back with that fucking, this dirty whore that you call an ex-girlfriend.

Wait, I wonder if, have you ever known a Mormon who got the assignment and was like, yeah, actually, I'm not going there. I'm out of this religion. Like, because the location was so whack? No, not yet. My brother went to fucking Mongolia for two years. Wow, that sounds actually kind of cool.

From Idaho to Mongolia? Yeah, I guess so. It was just cold as fuck. What if it was just a Mongolian restaurant? Do you think being raised Mormon made you a little bit more of a freak in bed? I doubt he's a freak. I think it made me look at weird porn

when I was in high school. Like what? What kind of porn? Like child and stuff. What kind, Todd? Don't overthink it, Todd. What kind of porn was weird? Like just cuckolding and shit like that.

Oh, you're a cuck? Well, somebody please explain that to me. I keep hearing this word and I have no idea what it means. You really don't know what it is? I can't tell you, but I can show you. Jeremiah, if you don't know what it is, then that means you are one. Wait.

Cuckolding porn is where a guy has his wife fuck another guy in front of him and he gets off on it. I mean, sure. Are you into that? Maybe that's the problem. No. Maybe that's why you and your girlfriend

didn't really get along. Maybe you didn't actualize your true sexual reality. Maybe what you need to do is just bring a young Jew home and I'll smash in front of you. Yeah. And I'll bring you guys back together. You know what I mean?

It's a good theory. Yeah. Your voice isn't seeming like you think that's really a good theory. No, I think I stopped looking at weird porn when I finally had sex. And I was like, all right, this is what I do now. I don't even think cuckold porn is weird. Is the first time you had sex, were you like a freak? No.

Because I remember the first, well, it's a personal story. Well, Hitler, what was the first time you had sex like? The first time was terrible, but after that, after that,

after the first time I had sex. Do you understand? Yeah, yeah. The difference. There he is, Adolf Hitler

on the ones and twos. Oh, man. Well, Todd, I mean, there you go. What's the weirdest kind of porn you like? I like everything. I like everything. Brian just

forcing that over and over. Have you ever jerked off to gay porn? I've seen gay porn, but I haven't jerked off to gay porn. Yet. Thank God, Todd. Roasted! Roasted, dog! but I haven't jerked off to gay porn yet. Thank you. Roast him! Roast him, dog! Straight out of Idaho.

Taking you down, Tony. Jeremiah with some pent-up energy over there. Yeah, I mean, who knows what can happen? Who knows what can happen? I'm very much on the opposite end. I'm pretty much like Cream Pie City over here I love Cream Pie City There's a woman in the back applauding

It's just so wrong It's so wrong, these dirty people having sex and coming inside of each other I like porn just because the main focus is punk That's an interesting theory, Brian, but yes on porn there are dicks and

vaginas. There's both things. It's like a category called that cream pie which is just all about the cum. It's not all about the cum. It's about the journey to the cum. Exactly. It's an entire adventure. You don't just watch the end of the movie. It's a cream pie. Pie is not all about the cherry.

It's all about the whole pie. A lot of the time you don't even make it to that part because you just know that they're so fucking gross and they're going to end up doing that and you don't even have to get there. I'm into BBW. I'm into that. Really?

What's that? Big, beautiful black women? Yeah, I like that. Is that true? Do you really watch that? What happened? He's in BBAA now. I like that. Is that true? Do you really watch that? I used to. I went over it. I used to like that. He's in BBAA now. Aphrodite made it. Interesting.

It's one of the creepiest episodes of this show I think we've ever done. It's got a really weird... What kind of porn do you like? Basics. Basics? That's what you type into the search bar when you're ready for a good hot jerk session? Yes.

Got my lotion, my towel, and all I need is to type the word basics in. It's about to go down. I sometimes type in kinetic energy. Brody not enjoying himself, guys. I'm fine. I got a laugh off that. It was funny.

You know what? Here's the deal. I know. Well, there we go. I can throw something out and then things happen. But you guys are doing great. I'll just chime in when I need to. By the way, he's checked out of the podcast and is literally reading Breitbart right now on his phone. No, no. I like it.

It's got stuff happening. I have a question for Todd. Yeah. You ever get caught by your family jerking off? Yeah, like four times. Wow. Yeah, by my dad.

That's impressive. Yeah. Did they make it complete? No, man. What's that like? How does that go down? How's that so easy to happen? If he had said seven times...

He's like, son, it's not that you were masturbating that bothered me. It's that you were masturbating to the video of your mother fucking that black guy I found. Four times. It's a cuckold joke. It's a cuckold joke. I've never seen or heard my parents have sex. I've smelt it.

There you go. Big laugh right there. That was funny. Yeah, I'll do that joke on the road. Big laugh. Todd, you might be one of the least discreet masturbators of all time. Four times getting caught from your parents is just impressive. What do you have, one of those rotating hotel doors in your bedroom or something like that?

Did you cry really loud? No, it's the doors weren't locked. What happened? No locks on the doors. Oh, you were kind of teasing your parents a little bit. No, man. You just said, come in if you dare, daddy. No, they took the locks off and I just

jerked off a lot. They took the locks off because you were jerking off so much? No, they already were like that. Did you ever circle jerk with your dad? Dude, you're getting a deal. That's a Mormon thing. No, I'm serious. It's a good question. You got it. I got Salt Lake City Circle. I had my mom.

My mom walked in on me going down on a girl once, like full on, like inescapably. I mean, it was really. Like, how deep were you in that vagina? I was like, I guess my head was actually inside of it. Oh, man, it's crazy, man. That's cool. Chris Farley's not doing it anymore. You are now.

Hey, maybe somebody should turn up Moshe's mic right now. Boom. Full circle. It was such a good joke that the crowd went totally silent. Because it's real anger between us. Welcome to my world. It's called acting, performing. Heard of it?

Jeremiah Watkins. Moshe, when your mom caught you going down on this girl, what was her reaction? She actually, it was interesting because I was like, you know how it is. You're fully prone and you're not. And I had the blanket over my head. And somehow my ab muscles at the time were so. Throbbing. I just jumped up like from fully pronebing. I just jumped up from fully prone

position. I somehow jumped into the air flying like a superhero, pussy eating superhero. Ellen DeGeneres. I just landed on top of her, covering her with the blanket and I heard the door just slowly shut. My mom's dope. She doesn't care. She just said

she apologized to me for interrupting my private time. Damn. That's amazing. I jerked off on a spider once. Oh, yeah. That's a smooth segue. You jerked off on a spider?

Yeah, I gave it Charlotte's web eye. There you go. You got it. I'm resorting to material. Twice. That's the second time'm resorting to material. Twice. That's the second time that you've done that. What was the worst time you got caught jerking off? What happened? What was your punishment?

Did you get punished for jerking off? He would just sit down and talk to me and passive-aggressively tell me I wouldn't go to heaven. But what happened? Okay, so what happened? For the worst time you got caught jerking off, were you on your laptop? Were you in your living room? I was... Were you reading the Book of Mormon?

No, I was in the computer room just at the laptop like a novice. The computer room? Yeah. My dad's office, yeah. That's where religious people are. The computer room in a Mormon household. Your dad told you you were going to hell if you jerked off. It's just so fucking crazy to me.

No, it's like built into the religion. Yeah, but they all do it. So what? Who's in heaven? Nobody? One boring dude with no balls? That's why I fucking left, man. One endless guy like, fuck. I'm waiting for somebody to come hook me up. It really is. I wonder when religion

will figure out that that whole not doing thing, when will they admit that? That's going to be a few more decades, right? To where restricting things definitely gives... Jesus is here. Oh, he's here? Jesus.

He's being extra creepy. For you podcast listeners, we have a Jesus Christ lookalike. Have you ever masturbated on a girl's shoe? No, not yet. Have you ever masturbated on a girl's shoe? No, not yet. Have you, Brody? Uh-oh. I gave her... Yes, I did. What happened there? What happened? She was wearing Crocs.

I was staying at a friend's house and I went into a roommate's room and... You gave her Charlotte's web eye? Callback. It didn't work. I gave her Charlotte's web toad back work I gave her goes to show the power Charlotte's web toad web feet web toad something there

one time I completed on a beetleborg action figure all right what was there he goes what was the figure risen me ladies and gentlemen there he goes he's at Todd underscore Riz R I Z tried to come back on that one.

I'm going to go back to the internet. Want some more comics out here. Let's do it. This last, we're going to get back to the bucket in a second. This last Tuesday I was at Roast Battle. Moshe Kesher, you were at Roast Battle. And we got to see one of the greatest

Roast Battles that I've ever seen in my life when one of your fellow castmates, Jeremiah Watkins, one of our fellow castmates, Jeremiah Watkins, huge member of the wave of roast battle. Very popular part of the show. Battled. They battled for the first time. And they got in a great battle. They got upset by a few guys that we've heard of before on this show.

They've been on this show a few times. It was the upset of the century. It really was. It was the upset of the century because they battled, we've seen them on the show, a group called the Verzi Triplets and the Verzi Triplets absolutely were hilarious

and they were doing running jokes about me being their mentor and father. Yeah, hilarious, and they were doing running jokes about me being their, like, Mentor and father. Yeah, exactly, and all this stuff. So I rolled with it. I even stopped thinking about that roast all week. It was unbelievable. So here for your, in a special appearance, 60 seconds of time,

this is real. Put your hands together for the Verzi triplets. Verzi trips. Verzi Triplets. Verzi Trips. Oh, my God. Thanks, Tony. We won't let you down. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much, Tony.

Tony, we love you. Love you, Tony. Big bro. Put it there. Okay. Would not go wingman for each other. This is a great icebreaker, but that's it. When the three of us go and approach a woman, it looks like the March of the Penguins.

Just, hey! Attack of the clones coming at you. It's too much dick at one time. Like a cock-a-puss. Six testicles coming everywhere. It doesn't work between the three of us. It doesn't work. No, your wingman should not be someone who spent their entire life trying to humiliate you. It doesn't work between the three of us. It doesn't work. No, your wingman should not be someone who spent their entire life trying to humiliate you.

It doesn't work. It doesn't work. No. Well, we get jealous because I know if someone's talking to one of them, I know for a fact they're into me. It's like buying something on Amazon. If you like Mitch, we'd also recommend these two, you know? And we're too petty. Like, we all think that we're upgraded versions of each other.

Yeah. I just think we're different stages of evolution. He's homo erectus, I'm homo sapien, and Mitchell's a homosexual. You hang out with a Mormon one time and everybody thinks you're gay. Okay, doesn't work that way. Bag? No. And nobody here is...

Exactly one minute from the Verzi triplets. There you go. This is one of my favorite parts because now they get interviewed and they have to share one microphone and they fight over it like little babies. How about one more time for the Verzi triplets, everybody?

March of Penguins. It's funny. You guys are... Stick with me over here, guys. Let's pull some focus. How are you? Very good. That's enough. That's enough. That's enough. It's a live show, guys. Brody's right Very good. That's enough. That's enough. It's a live show, guys.

Brody's right, man. This audience sucks. You guys aren't getting into it. They're alright. They're good. Don't turn on them. I don't think the Versi triplets have the power to be able to recover out of that spin out. Were you guys in that wrestling movie with Steve Carell? Fuck yeah. Three people are dying right now

in this room. We actually met you once. At the improv. Good guys. Good to see you back. You're going to talk. You've got to talk into the microphone. Are you from LA or you're from the back? Enjoy it. See? Very good. You guys were in the valley at one point. Okay.

Verzi triplets. Stick with me over here. Alright. Verzi triplets. How with me over here. Okay. Versi triplets. How are you all totally jacked? Is that part of your genetics? Are you all on steroids? You guys all sleep on the top bunk? We do chin-ups onto the top bunk.

That's what we do. Wait, are you really gay? No. You didn't have to react so violently. None of us are gay. Don't ask us that. There's something about you three guys that's just unbelievable to me. I love it too.

The material is so funny. Well, let me just say this. I thought you were really funny and the material was really good. I got to be honest. I didn't love that homosexual joke. That's why I was asking if you were gay. I was like, so what, the punchline is just that you're gay and that's gay or something? Yeah.

Yeah. Cool stuff. We're brothers. I just don't think that. I think everything else was so funny and classic. And that joke in particular just felt like you were just like, it's funny to be gay. And I think you're better than that. I think you're better.

Okay. I think you guys can sort of get away with it., answering to Moshe's note, which I agree with. I think you guys can get away with it because you are brothers, but we all smelled it from a mile away. So if you figure out a way to get to it quicker, you know what I mean? Like, you know, you just got to just rattle them off. No, but I love a good gay joke, but if the. It's just like a person's gay and that's hilarious. It's like, okay. The word gay is not a punchline. What did you say about you make out with one girl?

What did you say? I said I know if one girl's talking to him, I know for a fact she likes him. No, no, no. I'm talking about at the end of the gay one, the homosexual. He was riffing. You talked to one Mormon. Yeah. I was going off Todd, which actually we know Todd.

We did improv with him. Really? Oh, yeah. You guys know each other from Whitest People Ever convention, right? That's cool. Thank you, Kevin. What if you guys did that old trick where you set up a date at a restaurant and then one of you got up from the date, went to the bathroom, another one came back? That would actually be pretty awesome.

The old switcheroo. My favorite part of your set, to be honest, is when you guys were talking over each other right at the very beginning. That's just funny to me because it's just chaos. That's it. Hitler likes chaos, huh? The Sklar brothers talk over each other a lot. There's something funny about you. You don't even know where to look when all three of you are talking.

That's funny. They laughed. Sorry, real quick. You didn't. Well, I consider Moshe a professional. Percy Triplets, how old are you guys? 24. How do you make your money?

We work construction for my dad. Oh, my God. Does he live in L.A.? 805. Yeah, 805. Trump? Construction for dad, Trump? Yes.

We're the Trumplets. That's funny. Good stuff. Where are you guys from, Ventura? Simi Valley. Whoa. Wow. That's where I lived. You got it. Stearns Road. I would have gone to Royal High School. You went to Simi? Yes.

Dead air. You got it. Edit point. Stearns Road. You know where that is. Let's name streets. Alright. Cooner. Alright. So, what the fuck? Stearns Road, you know where that is. Let's name streets. All right. Cooter. All right. So what the fuck? You guys live together?

Yeah. We live with our parents still. You still live with your parents, 24. Brothers and sisters? We drive here. Are your parents triplets too? Yes. Funny joke.

You share clothes. Sometimes, yeah, we do. Have you ever dated the same girl? No, no, we haven't. It's kind of just like... Yeah. We may be more white than Todd. Okay.

Say that into the microphone. You guys are like religious, you mean? No, just generic. Oh, okay. There's been like... Are you guys Eskimo triplets? No. Not yet.

Maybe with you, Tony. Maybe with you, right? Hey! You're going to fuck Tony. Hey, I mean, who knows what can happen? I've never had a triplet sex before. I'm into creepy shit now. You guys even ever come close, like giving a massage all at once to someone?

That's a good question. Who the fuck gives massages to people together? Three-way massage? That actually does seem like it would be a mind-blowing massage. These strong, shabby, tiny hands. Can you repeat each other's thoughts? Does that happen? That sort of thing?

Yeah. You just did it right there. Wait, I have a question. Did your parents, was it surprising when you were born? Or were they trying to get... No, it was natural. Did they just think they were having two really fat twins?

Don't fake laugh like that at me. Tony, sorry. I love you. And are you all. I don't want to blow this. Are you all equally, what about this? Would you blow this? Are you all equally close to one another?

Like, is it 100% tie? Me and Mitch are closer than Sean. Interesting. Hand Sean the microphone. Look at him. He's dressed like a My Buddy doll. Whoa, there's a third one? Why do you think they have this angst against you?

Why do you think they've teamed up against you? Were you first, second, or third out of your mom's giant pussy? I was second. I was the middle. But they shared a bathroom together. And then I had the bathroom with my older brother. They still do share the bathroom. Excuse me.

They still do share it. You have your own bathroom. No, I have it with my other brother. You have an older brother? Yeah. Who is he, Matt Eisman? No. Sean Astin.

Host of Ninja Warrior. Stay with me, guys. Brian Redman we don't know you asked us that the other day we've never looked at each other's dicks Tony asked us that yesterday I did not ask

I walked by and somebody else asked you that and I jumped into it Tony said he'd measure we're going to do a new program on Kill Tony show Tony your dick. Wait, are you Italian? Yeah. Breaking news.

They're Italian. Triplet dicks, 2016. They probably have big dicks. They're Italian. Yeah. It's probably him, the one they don't like. Yeah. He's the one with the big ass dick walking around making them feel inferior.

Yo, we never actually looked at each other's dicks. I mean, we did look at his. around making them feel inferior. We never actually looked at each other's dicks. We did look at his. We walked into his bathroom one day together with our heads on top of one another as we cracked the doorway.

He was completely skinnier. Yeah, you seem like healthier. I am healthier, that's why. I'm in better shape than them. Why is that? I work out much more than them. You do more cardio than them? No.

Like for two years, I just like nonstop every single day went to the gym. What were these lazy shits doing? I don't know. What were you doing, Fats? Yeah, Mitchell, what were you doing when he was going to the gym? I like to drink a lot more. He doesn't drink. You're Mitchell?

I thought you were Mitchell. We'll get it, Tony. Don't worry. We got it. No, I probably never will. Do you guys have a head writer? That's funny. No.

One of us has the best joke, and then we just kind of go with it. Wow. Okay, so you guys write all three together, or do you think of jokes? We'll do separate and then come together. Oh, you guys come together? That's cool. We had a feeling. Yeah, I think so. I'm nine and a half.

Have you ever seen your mom's vagina? Only a couple times, but... Do you remember anything about it? It smelled very good. A lot of hair. A lot of hair. Really? Is that true? I repressed it. You don't remember. Honesty is always the funniest thing versus triplets.

I know would have done as well. He's got his nipples a little bigger. Mine's a little tougher. Is that true? Can we have a nipple off here? Can we see triple nipples? Wait. This is the one they call the fat one.

Oh, my God. He does. He has much bigger. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. He clearly has much bigger nipples than the other two. Interesting. This is very crazy.

Hey, feel his nipples. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to feel his nipples. Feel his nipples. Moshe. Moshe, they want you to feel his nipple. It's got like a mass under it, man. I'm not even kidding.

You have a mass? Hey, I don't want to feel your nipple. Have you gotten that checked out? Definitely not. You have something solid under there? Wait, You have a mask? I don't want to feel your nipple. Have you gotten that checked out? Definitely not. You have something solid under there? Wait, you have breast cancer? Yeah. Feel that nip.

Feel that nip. Feel that nip. It comes back out. You guys are about to be twins if you don't go get that checked out. All right, Brian. Hey, Red Band. All right, Brian. Hey, Red Band, could you tag this episode,

palsy, pooping, cumming, and triplets for the keyword search for this episode? Yeah. All right, cool. I'm pretty sure that's the tone of this whole thing. Well, Versi Triplets, congratulations. Real quick, Tony, we love you, but the last two times we got destroyed by Pat Reagan, and that helped us get a lot better. So I want to say thank you, Pat.

Wow. Thank you, Hitler. That was so sweet of you. Well, I look forward to what you guys do in the future. There you go. Look at that. Comedy friendships made here. I'm pretty sure Pat is the newest Verzi triplet. Get off the stage,

boys. What are you doing? Hit the road, kids. Get out of here, you young... are you doing? Hit the road, kids. Get out of here, you young... Stop touching me. Stop touching me. Little bastards. I know. Those are my people. They're part of my new transition team.

I'm excited about it. I'm really excited. We have a regular on this show. How about that? She performs a brand new 60 Seconds, writes and performs every single fucking week she's here for you again it's the great vanessa johnston ladies and gentlemen it's like so small okay they were short. Anyway.

We recently started using white phosphorus in Iraq again. I don't know if anyone stayed awake during chemistry class. Definitely not this guy. White phosphorus is a chemical weapon that burns skin to the bone and it causes serious birth defects. So now Iraq looks like the headquarters of Monsters, Inc. It's awesome. We've been spraying it all over the Middle East for the last 30 years. A lot of people are dying. It's like Charlie Sheen went there and came on everyone.

People say that being a suicide bomber is cowardly. I don't know. It probably takes a lot of talent if you're born with no arms. So give it up for them. A special very dark set from Vanessa Johnston. Wow. Nothing gets the crowd in a frenzy more than, uh,

we're phosphorus foring the Middle East jokes. You know you've been writing and doing this show too much, too regularly, when you're like, fuck, what's funny? What's funny? Ah, the war in Iraq. White phosphorus. Chemical agents. It's time to spread your wings.

I've had it for like four weeks, and I have almost done it for the last four weeks, and I just couldn't. I don't know. It's hard to figure it out. If you look at the photo it's really sad. That's why it's like no one really talks about it. It's so fucking awful if you look at it. I mean it is. It's like really dark subject

matter and that works if you're gonna like stay in the pocket and have multiple. It's good in the middle of a set. Yeah, it's not good to open one. Yeah, I mean that's what Lenny Bruce said. He said you do white phosphorus at minute 22 uh i always think with jokes like that it better be the best joke you've ever written right it shouldn't be the one you bury in the middle of your set if you got a joke about about the holocaust or about slavery or about white phosphorus

it better be like oh my god i can't believe i wrote such a funny joke about that or if not it's kind of like... Yeah. Especially nowadays. You have to... When people want to go to a comedy club, they're the last thing they want is stuff that... A joke about something that they just got done seeing on CNN. Right.

It's kind of like, all right, now we're turning it here. Well, I gotta say, I think I like it because I think everyone talks about bullshit all the time and I'm sick of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I mean, you can totally.

I listen to comedy seven nights a week, and I hear almost 99.9% bullshit. Yeah. Yeah, but it also has to be funny. I mean, there's a lot of, you know, I could be like, yo, you guys heard about systemic racism in the prison industrial complex? Well, yeah, one in three black men will be locked up by the time they're 18 anyway. That's crazy, right? And we all know, like, I love and take great pride in specializing in, you know, dark, you know, evil shit that I love to talk about.

But when you do it, you know, it's got a really, and I've seen you do this plenty with other sets, which is just like, it's got to be smarter. It's Monsters, Inc. is funny. Charlie Sheen's funny. The Charlie Sheen thing, there was something. Yeah. seen you do this plenty with other sets which is just like it's got to be smarter it's monsters inc is funny charlie sheen's funny charlie sheen thing but there was something yeah but it's got to be like smart and funny it's got to hit on all cylinders because you can't get away with bullshit once like people are picturing that you have to really take them right you have to really take them on the trip and you and and stay in that you know it is interesting you're talking about imagery because like once you said their flesh was burned to the bone, I was definitely like,

oh my God, seeing an Iraqi family. And then you're like, you know, it's like Monsters, Inc. And my brain was not even close to like, what's Monsters, Inc. look like? I wasn't taking that jump with you. I'm sorry, I'm in Iraq right now.

I'm not in the Monster zone. So yeah, you're right. It's very powerful to call it that kind of imagery. So you gotta... The burned Iraqi family has voices of like Billy Crystal and John Goodman but like Pat said earlier I really like that you're going

for it you know what I mean you're taking chances going out of your comfort zone and that's great shit when you write and perform a new 60 seconds every week it's important to do different shit take chances. Nailed it. Vanessa Johnson, everybody. There she goes. We have one other regular.

You know her. You love her. 21-year-old killer. The great Allie Makovsky, everybody. Here she is. Hi. I had a sex dream about my dad, which sucks. I didn't ask for it. I didn't want it. It just happened.

And I feel bad because my dad doesn't know why I won't hug him anymore. I don't know what to tell him, you know, like, it's not you, it's me. It's us, really. It's too volatile. or like no you're a good dad you're just a better daddy I had a wet dream once I didn't know that girls could get wet dreams but it happened and it's really embarrassing what I had a wet dream about I had a dream that macaroni and cheese was being microwaved and as soon as the timer went off, I climaxed. To this day, the only time I've ever climaxed. And the

worst part is, the worst part is, I don't even like microwavable macaroni and cheese. I think it's disgusting. The only way that I like to eat mac and cheese is off my dad's body. Ali The only way that I like to eat mac and cheese is off my dad's body. Allie Makovsky. Unbelievable.

Great joke. Funny. Unbelievable. The streak continues. The Bill Goldberg of stand-up comedy. Callback in a one-minute set. Yeah. New since the last movie?

You can tell she's really been working on her craft. Macaroni and cheese. Boom, that's a macaroni and cheese joke right there, you pieces of shit. Guys, with a different audience, they would be yelling and coming and hip hip harangue Tony. Two weeks in a row,

we've had super mellow audiences. I don't know what, maybe it's like, I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. It's like touristy Thanksgiving bullshit or something like that. It's a little frustrating, to say the least.

Jesus, Darth Vader is back. Ally Makovsky. You're living life. You're killing every week. People are talking about the streak, they're calling it. It's gonna be Bomb City real quick. I promise that. You're from Cum City to Bomb City, a comedy

memoir. Oh, I'd read that. There you go. I thought that there was an opportunity for another joke in there, which was, what do you say about your dad? You say, it's not you, it's me. Well, it's both of us. And then there could be a third thing. Well, it's both of us. And then somebody else that was fucking the two of you. I don't know.

Like, I was thinking, like, not a midget i was like you chewy bravo the uh the midget from midget from chelsea lately some extra person that was fucking both of you i just remember i have a tag after that where i'm like i just say have you seen the knuckles on your father oh that's funny those are some thick digits i don't want to fuck my dad. I just want to fuck a dad. Has your dad seen this material? No, I'm so terrified. Yeah, I did have it. Is your mom watching the live stream tonight? She will be watching tomorrow. She said she's tired

so she's going to watch it tomorrow. She's tired. She's at home dreaming about macaroni and cheese. She's probably dreaming about my dad and she still loves him. Is that true? Yeah. Wow. Where are you from? I'm from Long Beach. Oh, okay. Right down there. She's probably dreaming about my dad She still loves him Is that true? Yeah Wow Where are you from? I'm from Long Beach

Oh okay right down there 562 Did your dad Maybe we shouldn't talk about that You know Ally I was going to make a joke about you looking like Kurt Cobain Nailed it Anyway You know Ally I was going to make a joke about, and Red Band, I swear to Christ.

Allie, it's me, Pat. I was going to make a joke about you looking like Kurt Cobain, but never mind. That's good. Oh, okay. Guys, I'm telling you, with a better audience, I would have killed. And with a slightly smoother delivery. And a slightly smoother setup. Wait, can I read?

Okay, so my mom's like a big fan of yours. Of mine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Your mom likes me? Yeah, yeah, she loves you. That's cool, I'm a big fan of your dad's. Me too.

So I texted my mom. I was like, Mom, Moshe Kasher is one of the guests on Kill Tony tonight. She said, Wow, is his adorable wife with him? He knows sign language. See, already something in common. Dude, that sign language video that you did is one of the funniest sketches I've seen in forever. Oh, you mean on Portlandia? Yeah, on Portlandia.

That was phenomenal. Check out Portlandia. Moshe does this amazing sign language sketch. Well, let's just call out some of your favorite stuff that I've done over my... Stop the podcast right now and watch... Yeah, that's a cool sketch, actually. I forgot to bring that up to you. I watched it like months ago.

Anyway, that triggered it. My favorite Moshe. What was it? I got nothing. All right. Allie, you did it again. Another great minute. There you go.

Allie Makovsky, everybody. Killing it. Tell your mom I said I love you. You were so funny, too. Brody, you have any Cubs-like sage advice for the great Allie Makovsky? What would you say? If Allie Makovsky was playing for the Cubs, if this was stand-up comedy, what would you advice?

What type of energy? Good effort. Repetition. Get your work in. Embrace the target. Respect. Believe in yourself. She needs more Charlotte's Web references.

For those of you that don't know, I am going to take a second here and say something. Brody is an enigma, one of the all-time great, one of my favorite comedians ever. And this past year, I don't know how many of you deeply follow him like I do in real life and on Twitter and on Instagram. About a year ago, I mean, you've been friends with the Cubs for quite a while, this and that, but this year he started just at the beginning, preseason, you started going and hanging out with them. They were flying you around with them. They literally brought you like into the clubhouse. You were a part of the thing. And you just went on an

entire year adventure. And of all the years in which the Cubs have not flown Brody out everywhere and literally with Brody there in person the Cubs won the fucking World Series this year. That's pretty cool. With Brody Stevens. Thank you. In one of

the all time coolest fucking things that you probably still don't literally believe even though I just Thank you. In one of the all-time coolest fucking things that you probably still don't literally believe, even though I just told you. Yeah, they didn't fly me out everywhere. They flew me out to a few things. I did their conventions, and my friend's a coach, and I did comedy for them, and I just took it. I visualized

it. My goal was to, honestly, my goal was to throw a bullpen in spring training, because I still work out. I was able to throw a bullpen, and they said I still work out. I was able to throw a bullpen. And then he said, who wants to go to the bucket one more time? One more. Why did I get cut off for that? I'm just kidding.

Go on, Brody. Go on. Real quick. Real quick. Yeah. And then they said, do you want to go catch the first pitch? So I catch the first pitch. Then they go, you want to coach first base?

I go, yeah, it was against the Dodgers. I got to coach first base. One inning. Kershaw was pitching. Then he said, I can hang out in the dugout. So I hung out. I did like three games, and then I put out positive energy, and they won. They had me hang out, you know.

So you can serve a – I'm trying to create a job that's positive energy. Who says baseball is not boring? But the bottom line is it was a great run. That's my boy Patty Rager right there. I mean. And I want to say thank you to Tony for bringing that up because it meant a lot to me. And sports do matter. And Tony appreciates sports.

And thank you very much. Sports do matter. It might only be the fourth most racist thing I've heard you say here. That was good. It was a bucket of grilled chicken. Just kidding. Because it was bigger than baseball. And I really felt it validated a bucket of grilled chicken. Just kidding. Because it was bigger than baseball, and I really felt it validated a lot of my positive energy. You're absolutely right.

My friend who I grew up with, Tarzana Little League, he's a coach for the Cubs. So I saw winning. He was with the Yankees. I saw winning. So it's directly relatable. A lot of your friends are wildly successful. No, well, I took that winning to do an audience warm-up. I treated audience warm-up like I treated baseball.

And then I was able to do that. Then I put it into doing the HBO show. Yeah, grab the name now. Grab the name now. Who's ready to go to the bucket? And I got the hangover based off positive energy. What can I tell you? I'm not an actor, but I'm in it.

You guys want to go to the bucket one more time? Make some noise. This is it. Thank you. You guys want to go to the bucket one more time? Make some noise. This is it. You know this guy. You love him. We all love him. Put your hands together for Tam Pham, ladies and gentlemen.

The Beast. The Beast. Oh, look at all the comics leaving. Oh, it's all the comics leaving. Oh, so sad. Hello, everyone. Because of Asian cultural pressures, I assume that our suicide rates were relatively high. But statistically, Asian suicide rates are actually very low if you don't count people who work

in iPhone factories. I buy a new iPhone every year because I'm Vietnamese. So like all iPhone owners, I don't care if Chinese people die. The technology is too cool. Pregnant women can now actually use their cell phone to figure out the gender of the baby inside them. How it works is, first, you lock the phone.

Then you gently slide it into your vagina hole. If the fetus unlocks the phone and looks at all your text messages, it's a girl. It's a girl. It's the greatest thing I've ever seen ever. That killed so hard and everybody listening to the podcast is like, wow. That's not a podcast joke. I'll bet you anything that the real fans of this podcast actually know what happened there because they know the story. It's been an ongoing storyline the last four or five times that TamFam's been on.

During the interview part, Jeremiah will answer questions. When I ask him, it's always funnier. If I'm like, TamFam, would you do anything crazy for Thanksgiving? I stuffed a turkey. And my girlfriend. Well, we realize that this works continuously. That it's literally one of the funniest things ever. That there's just something about the way TamFam rolls with it and the way Jeremiah

executes. You can hear Jeremiah just trying to not laugh the entire time, so it makes it much funnier. Hidden in that really funny sketch was that fetus joke, which is a straight up amazing, great one-liner.

Let me guess on this. I'm guessing that you prepared this and you wrote out your jokes this time and had Jeremiah do them. Is that correct? Right, yeah. Jeremiah is the greatest improviser of all time. Feed me to it. No, now I'm doing

you doing him. This bit gets more and more meta every time we do it. But ain't nothing like the first time, baby. Now you're like Frank Sinatra. Tam Fam, I feel like you can end up making a living somehow just miming words. You're very good at it.

I thought you were just going to stop it somehow. Man, Tam Fam, I feel like you can make a living somehow. My father was an animatronic robot. He taught me everything I know. Do you get to talk to him a lot? Sometime I leave him a message. He is the voice who does voicemails. The operator you are trying to reach is not available.

So hilarious. The operator you're trying to reach? Hello? Yeah, I'm trying to reach the last operator I was talking to. She sounded cool as fuck. Hello, is this Vietnam Telephone Company? Yeah, I'm trying to reach the last operator I was talking to. She sounded cool as fuck. Hello, is this Vietnam Telephone Company? Yeah. Where's my Vietnamese operator, please? Oh, man, you got a good mind.

So, Tam Fam, you know, in real life, how have things been going? Anything crazy happen lately? Not really, just the holidays and sleeping. That was just you. See how boring the response from the crowd is when he just answers himself? Let me ask you again, Tam Fam. Anything crazy happen this week?

Anything interesting? Oh, well. Oh, fuck. I have been crushing it just to say the least. To say the least? Sorry, my English is not all the way there yet. Just to spray the yeast. Brody, what do you think about this?

I'm enjoying it. It's fun to watch. I like what they're doing. You're a Vietnam vet. What do you think about Tam Tam? I think he's a funny guy. I'm into it. I mean, I'd have nothing to add, really, other than it was cool to watch,

and I think, you know, I wish I could be a part of it, like play better at it. Sounds like you got yourself a new tan pan. Brody. Yeah. If you believe, you can play. I believe. I'm just trying to figure it out. Your positive energy has been waxing and waning this entire episode.

It goes up and down, I know. I'm real. I'm not perfect. I'm a human. You need to be the Brody. I know you can be. I'm from Reseda. It's like a Karate Kid thing.

Much like the Karate Kid, today, I am the crane, and you are the craw in the vending machine. Oh, I like that. The prize in the vending machine? Yes.

You guys look like you have a real interesting chemistry. You guys should probably work together more often. Brody look like you have a real interesting chemistry. You guys should probably work together more often. Brody, are you in? I'm into doing different, you know, exploring stuff. How about you, Tam Fam? Are you in? I one time at a bathroom stall glanced and accidentally saw Brody Stevens' foreskin.

That happened one time here. True story. What did you think about it? What did you think about it, Tam Fam? I enjoyed it. Three inches and crooked. You got it. Tam Fam, ladies and gentlemen.

That is your episode of Kill Tony. Episode, I believe, maybe 183 or something crazy like that. Ladies and gentlemen, Jamie Vernon on the HD camera. What else is going on, guys? You already plugged some dates. We're at San Francisco Sketch Fest.

You're doing... San Francisco Sketch Fest. Yeah, I got my podcast, Hound Tall Discussion Series. It's a monthly live show that we do at the UCB Theater on the third Wednesday of every month. So, you know, check it out. Steven Brody Stevens. I'll be in Detroit on January 31st. Actually, I'm doing San Francisco Sketch Something. So that's in the middle of next month.

Look at Ryan J. E. Belt's drawing, everybody. Look what he did. What the fuck did you do? Oh, I just sat there and enjoyed a show. This guy worked for you. All of his prints are available at ryanjaybill.com. He draws every single episode, and he also drew the Kill Tony

poster right there that I have hanging up in my living room. You should have it hanging up in yours, too. Jeremiah Watkins. Hey, I'm at Jeremiah's stand-up on all social media. Reach out to me, and check out Moshe's sketch on Portlandia. I really enjoyed it. And check out that girl's mom.

I feel like after doing Tam Pham's voice, you're having trouble going back into normal Jeremiah. You sounded sort of... I don't know what you're talking about. Pat Reagan. I had a Verzi Brothers triplets joke

I wanted to say. Remember, wouldn't it have been awesome if they came out and just I had a Verzi Brothers triplets joke I wanted to say. Wouldn't it have been awesome if they came out and just did the Beastie Boys Brass Monkey as their set? All right. Thank you very much. Watch Questionable Science. What was the joke you wanted to do? It would be fun. It's like a question joke.

Watch Questionable Science. Watch Questionable Science. Watch Questionable Science on Comedy Central starring Rich Fulcher, and I'm in it. And there's an episode you should check out called Music where I do a system of a down song that Joel Jimenez co-wrote with me. Give it up for Joel Jimenez. Joel Jimenez. At Mostly Sorry on Twitter. At Mostly Sorry. Moshe Kesher.

Brody Stevens. Live audience. Make some noise one more time. Thank you for coming out. We'll see you again soon. Moshe Kesher. Brody Stevens. Live audience. Make some noise one more time. Thank you for coming out. We'll see you again soon. Have a great night. We'll all be on the front patio in a second. Thank you. I couldn't play my guitar like a man.

Baby, won't you let me in? Get me back on my feet It's a dream I'm falling in I wanna play my guitar again I wanna play my guitar again guitar solo playing it straight