KILL TONY - KILL TONY #188

Episode Date: January 3, 2017

Jay Larson, Tait Fletcher, Josh Martin, Joel Jimenez, Ali Macofsky, Vanessa Johnston, Pat Regan, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - Date: 12/19/2016 Follow Tony: @TonyHinchcliffe Follow Yoni: @BestBarbecue To watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/KILLTONYYouTube Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/KILLTONY If you like the show, tell people about it! You can text, email, post, or send this link: https://bit.ly/KILLTONY To check out the show live in Austin, TX, go to: https://killtonylive.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis?

My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... That's right. Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me.

Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony here at DeathSquad.tv. That's the website, DeathSquad.tv, to go to find everything Death Squad, including all the tour dates that we have.

We have Kill Tony coming at the San Francisco Sketch Fest, January 21st. That's a Saturday. We're bringing Kill Tony up there, so get ready for that. We're bringing Kill Tony up there, so get ready for that. We also have a Death Squad show this Wednesday, January 4th, 2017. We have a secret show at the Comedy Store. It's the big secret show that we have once a month. This month we have a crazy show. We have Big Jay Oakerson. We have Nick Swartzen.

Steve-O from Jackass. Tiffany Haddish. Chris D'Elia. Tony Hinchcliffe. Ashley Barnhill. Dean Delray. Camelia Cleese. John Cleese's daughter.

Aiko Tanaka. It's going to be a lot of fun. That's this Wednesday, January 4th at the Comedy Store. It usually sells out. We also have some secret guests. That's why it's called The Secret Show. And then every first and third Friday, we have a secret show at the Ice House. This is more of like our training ground.

We have like about 12 comics, and we're all just trying new material out. It's a lot of fun to see that. Of course, that's the Ice House every first and third Friday of the month. You can find everything at DeathSquad.TV You can also check out our videos. We have video portions to all these different podcasts that we do. You can just click on videos there

at DeathSquad. Don't forget Tony Hinchcliffe has a website, TonyHinchcliffe.com There he has his tour dates. He has a bunch of tour dates. It's going to be in Dallas, San Antonio, Corpus Christi, Rhode Island, Canada, Chicago. It's going to be everywhere. So check him out.

TonyHinchcliffe.com. And Ryan J. Ebelt. He's the house artist. He draws every episode and he made the Kill Tony poster. He also sells prints to all of the shows. You can find him at RyanJEbelt.com. Don't forget to subscribe to us on iTunes. Just search for Kill Tony and hit subscribe. Don't forget to subscribe to us on iTunes. Just search for kill Tony and hit subscribe.

Don't forget to rate and review the show or as you subscribe to death squad on iTunes and there you get everything we do here. All right, guys, here's a brand new episode of kill Tony. Hey, this is Ray Bant coming to you live from the world-famous Comedy Store main room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony, Volume 4. Get up for Tony! Hands clear!

Hi, everybody. It's a big live show. Look at this. Fuck yeah, this is exciting. Welcome, everybody. Another Monday night. Kill Tony. Make some noise. It's Brian Redband, everybody. Look at that. Hey, what's up? You know him. You love him. Everybody does. Ryan J. E. Belt here drawing tonight's episode.

He's got a blank sheet of paper. At the end, everybody's like really cramped up up here. Look at this. Who sat this room tonight? I know. How are the waitresses going to get those people drinks right there? Who fucked up here tonight? Jay Light, what's up? What happened?

It's a podcast. You got to say something. Cramming them in. Cramming them in, huh? There's a whole different way to do that. We got Jamie Vernon on the HD camera. I like it. Let's do this. We got Jamie Vernon on the HD camera. I like it. Let's do this.

I'm excited. We have some shows coming up. Oh yeah. Kill Tony's doing San Francisco. Sketch Fest at the end of January. SFSketchFest.com for tickets. And we are also doing Moon Tower in Austin, Texas. This show that you guys are at is a traveling comedy circus now.

And that's on 420. Doing all the coolest festivals. Who would have thought? Three and a half years of doing a silly, fun show and all of a sudden... It's weird. We haven't been sick on a Monday. I was thinking of that the other day. Have we ever been really sick where we had to call off

and be like, hey, I... You did once. I'll never forget it. Oh. Ha ha ha. You tried to fool me there, though. I mean, look, we've never done that, right? Never really talked with you about this, huh?

I really don't know if I did. No, I'm positive of it. 100% positive. I remember being furious. I remember asking you if I can do it without you. I'm like, can I just do it and just record with no music or sound effects or anything? And then you said

no. I stuck to my guns. Stuck to your... No AIDS is going to stop me for... Alright. It was an AIDS joke that did nothing. Nothing. You guys ready to fucking do this shit or what? Yeah. Another day at the office. I've got my buddy Brian.

My brother Donnie Hinchcliffe is somewhere. He's a badass motherfucker. Lives in Venice Beach. Comes out to the show. Rick Huzik, our neighbor from Jackass and Fun Things. But you know what one of my favorite things is that I get to see every week at this show is the band.

We have a Kill Tony band. One of them is MIA today, I believe on Christmas vacay. His name is Pat Reagan. And so we are stuck with the lovely duo of Jeremiah Watkins and Joel Jimenez, ladies and gentlemen. Wow. That is awesome They are wearing cards This might be the best production value of any entrance you guys ever had This is fucking awesome Just the two of us

Put your hands together for Jeremiah Watkins and Joel Jimenez What instrument are you playing tonight, Jeremiah? The I can't move my head any direction? Yeah, I feel like an owl right now. The sax in the back. Wow. You can tell he put a lot of thought into that one, like backstage in the mirror. He's like, oh, I get it.

My movements are restricted, so I'm going to say owl. That was your owl? What was the first thing? I get it. My movements are restricted, so I'm going to say owl. For whatever reason. That was your owl? What was the first thing? For whatever reason, I can't hear myself right now. I feel like a dog at the vet with one of those cone things on its head. So I'm going to have to take this off pretty soon here. How do you guys feel without the front man, Pat Reagan, not being here?

Do you guys feel like you're missing a limb or something like that? Yeah, pretty bummed. Sending love and holiday joy to Pat Reagan. He's in Indiana right now. There you go. We're getting tweets. They say that Jeremiah could just put his stomach through the hole of the two. Are you really getting tweets already?

Yeah, Brian's reading the tweets over here. He has an app with sound effects and tweets. There you go. I just got another one. Oh, you know what that sound means. Another person. All right. So every single week we have two hilarious guests on the show as well to sit through it all,

to meet people and have fun with us. That's never changed. Always two of the funniest human beings. Always two of the greatest guests. This week, no different. Put your hands together for the great Jay Larson and Tate Fletcher. Yeah.

OG. Killers. Jay Larson. Tate Fletcher. Badass motherfuckers. Tate Fletcher. Badass motherfuckers. Tate. Jay. What's up, guys?

How are you? I'm excited to have you on the show, Tate, especially because I feel like people are going to be scared to death of you just performing that closely to you. Tate's one of the most badass motherfuckers in the world. You recognize him from a shit ton of awesome movies. Yeah, they're going to be right there. Right within a fucking gorilla arm's reach

of you. Yeah, exactly. Just snap their neck. If you guys watch Westworld, he usually has half a face because he did something to it with a rock. Jurassic Park, Sicario, fucking ton of crazy shit. You worked with Denzel and Johnny Scordis. He stabbed me in the head. Yeah. And then I took a head shot in another one of crazy shit. You worked with Denzel and Johnny Scordis.

He stabbed me in the head. Yeah. And then I took a head shot in another one of his shows. You pretty much always die, right? I get killed pretty readily. I always say it's a great living, dying, but it gets a laugh. That's always good. That's all you'll get from me.

Don't expect more. How many times do you think you've died? Because it is weird. Because I've known you for a long time. Somebody just asked me to count it up. Yeah, I don't know. You should put a reel together. Of death.

Of just you dying every single time. It would be like a cum shot compilation. Yeah. Except me dying. Yeah, exactly. You guys are not offended by cum shot. That kind of language is okay here. You should mix in one cum shot, though, in the thing.

So it's like death. Oh, it's this guy dying. And then meh. Jay Larson, one of our favorite comedians. Huge, huge crossover we have with your hit podcast, The Crab Feast. The Crab Feast, baby. Ryan Sickler. Sickle Cell.

Jay Larson. You know it. And I've done it. You guys are hilarious. Nothing cooler than hearing people yell at me in Australia. In Australia, people are yelling at me references from our podcast that I did. I love it. That's great.

So surreal. So anyway, a bunch of crazy shit is going to happen tonight. If this is your first time seeing the show, a bunch of people sign up. Sometimes it's comedians to try to debut at the comedy store and do 60 Seconds. Sometimes it's completely insane people that have listened to the podcast and made some weird road trip. Remember Ichabod? Yeah. You guys know who I'm talking about?

I love that the show's gotten to the, finally, it took forever, but the show's finally getting to the point where I can tell the audience is actually starting to remember the things that are the funniest to us. Ichabod, I mean, oh my god, if you don't know, now you know.

I never will forget Tony's face whenever he saw the name, and then he looked up because he knew it was going to be magic. He just goes coming to the stage next. Hiccupon! Because the whole storyline was set earlier

in the episode. The second creepiest human being I've ever seen in my life. I pulled out of the bucket. He came up and we found out about this guy a bunch of crazy shit, right? But we knew, he told us, we said, how'd you get here from Vegas? And he goes, I came with my friend Ichabod. And he was the second creepiest guy of all time.

We went to the bucket one last time, like we always do now at the end of the show, pulled a name out, and spelled, I'll never forget that some of the letters were like backwards. Like a C, like an Ichabod. I does backwards C, H, A, backwards B, O, D. I'm like, this is gonna be fucking crazy. And it was.

Even we were like, if you look, the actual cast that's here every week was like shell-shocked because he was literally like something straight out of a haunted fucking everything. He teaches kids grammar with a nine inch nails alphabet. Who's the first creepiest? I should have got a little

bit more. Oh, Ichabod was the first creepiest. The second creepiest was who we pulled out earlier. We knew his friend was gonna be creepy. All we heard was one reference and it got a huge laugh. I came with my friend, Ichabod. This guy said it. We didn't know who Ichabod was.

What if we did this the whole episode? Remember that one episode? I didn't tell anybody, but this is a special early New Year's Eve episode. It's a best of show. We're actually out of town right now. Red Band, play the clip.

Oh, shit, look at this. Sam Tripoli, look at that. Just coming up, hanging out. Look at one of our favorites. Put your hands together for Sam Tripoli, everybody. What's up, man? Hello. I love this.

What's going on, Sam? Enjoying the Masters. I love that. The Masters at work. Look at all these guys. Everybody's in great shape. Got great morals. Everybody's, you know, working with the Lord.

I love it. I love it. Look at this group. Sam, I'm excited, man. We just did Punch Drunk together. You had Mickey Gall on the show. You have a new conspiracy podcast. Yes, called Tinfoil Hat.

And it's with Eddie. First episode was Eddie Bravo. I got another woman coming in tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes. I love it. It's deep, bro. We go fucking deep, bro. All right, well, there you go. That's Sam Tripoli, everybody.

There's some lizard people in this room right now. There's some lizard people in the room. I know you're here. There you go. Pizzagate is real. Sam Tripoli, everybody. Pizzagate is real. Sam Tripoli, everybody. Pizzagate is real. They're fucking the children.

All right. This is why you never. If you ever watch Joe Rogan when he interviews the fighters after every fight in the octagon, he never ever, no matter how hard they try, he never hands off the microphone. You don't ever hand the microphone. Brian Redband, ladies and gentlemen, on the ones and twos. I'm just kidding. Sam Tripoli, everybody.

It's with a little 45-second hijacking. I like how Sam said he was enjoying the show. He gets a plug in, and then he walks out of the room. He really did. I mean, it's unbelievable. That's why I don't give a fuck busting Brian's balls about letting him do it. You guys know how the show works. I pull your name out of the room. He really did. I mean, it's unbelievable. That's why I don't give a fuck busting Brian's balls about letting him do it.

You guys know how the show works. I pull your name out of the bucket. You come up and you get 60 seconds uninterrupted. It's unbelievable. After you know your 60 seconds is up and you hear the sound of a kitty. That means wrap it up then or else you're going to bring out

the angry West Hollywood bear. Ooh. Fuck. Okay. A little rattlesnake in there. Are we inside a Rainforest Cafe right now? Pretty much. The volume seems low in here.

I need it louder, man. This is very, very, very low. I don't know where it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not going to break anything. There we go. A little bit better. All right, I pulled a name out of the bucket. You guys ready to do this shit or what? Make some noise Monday night. This is it. Everything's in position now. The rest of the show wasn't really part of the show. This is where avid listeners of the show

fast forward to is this part. So welcome. I just pulled a name out of the bucket and that name, by the way, it sounds fucking great. Thank you. Put your hands together for Damon up there in the bird's nest. Great, great adjustment. Love you, buddy. Always killing it. Put your hands together for your first comedian of the night, Charlie Winfrey. Here we go. All right. It sounded like a boring name to me anyway. I sort of like it. Fuck you.

Put your hands together for your next comedian, Ben Palmer. Here he comes. Thank you. I was in Denver, Colorado. They have recreational marijuana there. I was excited. I went to a dispensary and got a joint, and then I found a bench in the middle of the city and smoked the joint. And then someone told me that you're still not allowed to smoke in public. It's like open container. I'm like, well, why'd you even legalize it then? Just to take it home?

Because I've been taking it home. That's been legal for me the whole time. I was high walking around every store I could find. Every green store, because all the dispensaries are labeled in green letters. And I ended up in H&R Block. Killing it. Ben Palmer. That was fun.

What's up, Ben? I'm going to talk to you now. Hey, how's it going? Hey, how's's up, Ben? I'm going to talk to you now. Hey, how's it going? How's it going, man? Hey, hey, how's it going, guys? What's up, man? That was awesome. Thank you, thank you.

So you're from what, Seattle? No. Where? Did you just guess that? Denver? No. No, I just visited Denver. Oh, okay.

Where are you from? I'm originally from Ohio. Oh, cool. What part? Cleveland, Akron, northeast Ohio. There you go. I'm from Youngstown, Ohio. Youngstown, yeah.

You seem very sleepy. This is how I am. You have a great swagger about you. You have great fucking timing and everything. That was awesome. You have a real natural delivery. How long have you been on stand-up? Eight years.

Eight years. Maybe that's why you have a natural delivery. Super natural. I mean, just overnight delivery you have. That's awesome. Thanks thanks I've been doing that mostly in northeast Ohio uh how long have you been out here uh like a month and a half oh wow welcome thanks is this your first LA show um well it's the first it's the first one at the comedy store no it's not my first LA show you've've been hustling? Like doing a lot of spots? Yeah. Yeah.

Anywhere I can get up. How much material do you think you've compiled over eight years? I could probably do, you know, I mean, I travel and do a half hour, 45 minutes. But, you know, I always get sick of my shit, so I end up cutting it down. I'm probably happy with like 15 minutes right now. You seem like you really do smoke a lot of pot. Yeah. I smoke a lot of pot. But I'm looking at you like, holy shit.

This guy's the realest fucking deal of just really not giving a fuck about me. Yeah, I don't know. I don't smoke as much as I used to. I probably smoke myself retarded or something. He looks like he lives inside a weed grinder. Like he just contorts at the end of every night in between the wedges. Do you have a hacky sack on you?

That's a great question. We were just talking about that the other day. That's so funny. We were playing air hacky sack. I didn't think I was going to get called up tonight, so I came in comfortable. No, you always come like that. I'm pretty sure

you're pretty comfortable a lot. What's the most uptight outfit that you have? What's that? A t-shirt? Dude, this is his business suit. It is true. I actually just got this outfit a couple weeks ago Wow, that's brand new? Yeah

He called it an outfit Joel Jimenez with the good catch there Nice dude, nice, nice, nice You crashing on couches or you got a spot? I got a spot, yeah When you say you got this all recently, was that all in, you mean you got even the hat? Like everything like, did they lose your luggage or something like that? Like what made you?

The hat too, man. The hat too. Everything's new. Except for the shoes. I've had the shoes for like a year. Wow. One year? Yeah.

It was in good shape, man, for a year. I'd like to think that couches find him like stray cats do. Lay on me. You guys really get... Lay on me. You guys really understand me. I'm glad this happened. Hey, I actually was in the Air Force,

and I was stationed at Vienna Youngstown Air Reserve. That's how high you get, is that you join the military, and you're like, I got to get in the Air Force and I was stationed at Vienna Youngstown Air Reserve. That's how high you get is that you join the military and you're like I gotta get in the Air Force. I've smoked myself to 35,000 feet. No it was in Youngstown that's why I wanted to tell you that. Wow. Yeah that one in

Warren or whatever. Nice. Yeah. Air Force based talk. I like that. Ben what's the fucking highest shit that you've ever done? You ever like lose your keys inside of like your meal or something like that. Ben, what's the fucking highest shit that you've ever done? You ever lose your keys inside of your meal or something like that? Oh, um... I'm going to picture that one for it to really be funny.

How did my keys get under the stuffing? I'm going to set my apartment on fire. I don't know what you said. You just turned into an AM romance DJ for a second. Just me, Ben Palmer, on the ones and twos here talking you to sleep. What was that? One time. I just got confused for a second. I got high.

I just looked at everybody and nobody. Oh, I see. You're a fool. That was amazing, Brian. That was very silly. Dude, I've been wondering. It almost made me pass out for a second because my brain really got confused.

I was looking at everybody's mics at once and there was still somebody talking. Who the fuck has a microphone? Is Sam Tripoli back? Oh, shit. All right. Hey, Tony, got another podcast. That's enough.

You're immediately beating a dead horse that's what happens anytime you say good job to Brian is he just doesn't stop with it after that alright Ben Palmer highest shit you've ever done oh one time I came home from the bar and I was drunk and then I smoked

and then I tried to cook some rice on the stove and I was like well I'll just take a nap now and wake up when the rice is done. It's a good timer, man. It really is unbelievable. Once I started hearing him, it was basically, you just had it.

I woke up when the rice was done. I came in super sad. Just keep on coming like this little dude. And then what'd you do? My roommate woke me up because of the smoke in the house. This is almost like a reverse Tam Fam situation. Where like Ben doesn't even have a choice.

You just get to decide what he says. You've become part of the machine. All right. So you cooked some rice? What the fuck was that story? And then what happened? He set the house on fire. Yeah.

Was there actual flames? Just a lot of smoke. All right, all right. A lot of smoke. Now he's not even talking to us. He's just like, I don't know. I think we jumped the shark with Stephen Wright. What else do you do besides comedy?

Well, who cares? No, I mean, I have a job. What do you do? I search for YouTube videos and the person who posted the video. So I work for a company that licenses YouTube videos and the person who posted the video. So I work for a company that licenses YouTube videos or whatever. Wow. You're sort of like the YouTube police.

No, no. All right. So I'll watch a world star compilation video all day. And then within the compilation, there's clips. Wait, that's what I do. Hold on a second. Well, clearly he knows what he's doing. You're the guy that's making money off doing this?

Yeah, I make money off of it. It's crazy. So, yeah, it's a great job. It's the best job I've ever had. I'm really happy. You're living my dreams. What jobs have you had? Huh? What's the worst job you had?

People delivery. Probably a typist. That was really boring. You're a typist for who? Research company. Take this down, man. Yeah. That was really boring. You were a typist for who? Research company. Take this down, man. Yeah. I can type fast.

I type 120 words a minute. What's up now, player? Get that typing up, son! Red band, red band, red band. That's what I wanted to tell you. I love it. Any other crazy skills or talents that you have? I toured with a show where I use a projector screen and a projector,

and I put images on the projector, and then I voice the images, like stock photos, I'll put them on a projector. I want to ask a question that I've never asked a guest on the show. I'm going to ask Tate. If you were going to kill Ben, and it's just you and him, and you're in the desert, right? And just two men out there,

and he did something to where you had to kill him. How would you do it? Thank you, Brian. Again, Red Band's in it right now. Perfect. I want an actual answer to this question. I didn't expect Red Band to be that dialed in, but he's really dialed in.

When it comes to sound effects, he's a fucking guru. Him and I are both old school stern babies. First I conjure what he would have done, but I think just for survival, so you'd want to not bleed him out, because maybe you'd want to drink his blood.

That's a good point. First thing I would have thought. He took the desert thing and he's turning it into a – that's exactly – Survival, right? I love that. But then what? You'd get excited and you'd just rip his fucking head off. You'd strangle him, right?

Yeah. For sure. If I was you, I would do so many fun things, Tate. I would, like, try to, like, move mountains and shit. Bud stuff. Oh, there goes Brian. See, that's why he's better on the sound effects. Just speak through the old keyboard.

Hey, Tony, he's got the sweetest thighs in the business. Keep it easy on Red Band. All right. Ben, how's your love life? It's good. I have a girlfriend. That's why I'm not homeless, and that's why I have this outfit. Oh, that's awesome.

What does she do? She works for a software company. She's a project manager. Wow. Very fucking cool. Yeah. Where do you live in? What part of town?

West Hollywood. Awesome. I'm lucky, man. Well, welcome, man. Thanks. You've got some funny stuff, eight years of experience in your belt. Anything else for Ben, guys? Any parting words?

I got something. Do you want to be a stand-up comic? Are you going to be a writer or a director? Do you know what you want to be? Yeah, all of that, actually. You want to be all of it? Yeah. How serious are you?

Very serious. Okay. Just stick to some of that material. You say you write it and you hate it and you get rid of it. You should try and farm some of it and then work it and keep it and then craft the shit out of it.

You know what I mean? Because if eight years and you got a half hour of 45, you should have more. Yeah. And I'll say that negative because when you came up i was like after 30 seconds i'm like i want to hear this dude do five 10 minutes because you have a thing you know what i mean thanks so i would just work just you know i would love to see

a longer set just because do you have ups and downs or do you just kind of like the whole time yeah no i mean i'm not i'm not like a walking Ambien pill. I can, you know. Right. That's why it's so weird to be one minute. AP, what's up, son? Yeah, yeah. Ben, here's what you do.

You take some of your ideas, and the ones that you don't like doing for stand-up, you just make a fun little short YouTube video, and then don't license. You don't have to pay for any of the fucking music and all that shit. And then when it's your job to flag that, just let it go through. Let it just keep getting tens of millions and millions and millions of hits. And you can be a fucking YouTube guy and you have your

back door where you're the one that gets to jack everything. Got it? Yeah, I got it. There he goes. Ben Palmer, everybody. Good luck, Ben A. Fun times. Meeting Ben Palmer. Northeast Ohio, everybody. Thank you. Good luck, Ben A. Fun times. Meeting Ben Palmer. Northeast Ohio, bitches. Me, him, LeBron James, Ed O'Neal.

Ben Palmer's on Twitter at Ben Launchpad. All one word. Look at that. Launchpad. Space, man. Launchpad. Dude, that's going to be. Oh, Launchpad. Wow's going to be... Oh, Launchpad.

There you go. This is work Twitter. What does that mean? Oh, all right. Sorry. Why did you put it on there? Don't put your name on anything that you don't want people to know. I pulled another name out of the bucket.

Let's meet Dan Ramos, everybody. Danny! Here he comes. Come on, one more time for Dan Ramos, everyone. Here he is. He made it. Hello? Okay. made it. Hello? Okay.

I'm in love, guys. Carla, give it up for Carla. She's not here. She's not here, so it's good. Can't watch me fail. She's not my first love, though. First love was Wendy. I met her in the third grade.

At the time, I didn't know how to flirt with her. I look at her in class like this. She'd get all wet because of the tears of joy running down her cheek. During class, in recess, we have these tickle fights. Stop it. That would be me saying stop it, not her. And then she'd pass me these little

love notes. Tickle my fat. What? Oh, but not her. And then she passed me these little love notes, you know. Tickle my fat. What? Oh, I like you. What? Four. Three. I like you, too, you know.

And after the 30th one, my heart just told me to do the right thing. So I called her up to my desk. I'm like, get over here. She comes running in, you know. Went down to her and took her hand. I looked into her eyes and I said, Wendy, can you please stop passing around these notes? I'm trying to teach a class here.

You're being very distressed. Stop filming! Dan Ramos, ladies and gentlemen. Fuck yeah, Dan. Hells yeah, guy. This is your first time on the show. Hells yeah. My heart is just thumping.

Is it? I'm there laughing at the first. He's got it bad. How many times have you done stand-up comedy? Here? From Montreal. Moved here eight months ago. I'd say about seven years.

You've been doing stand-up seven years? Yeah. I've been hosting mostly high school shit. you don't call that stand-up. What do you mean, hosted high school shit? What is going on? You know, like, variety. Get to class! High school shit?

How's everybody doing today? How old are you? No, like, got, like, variety shows, you know, but. Were you in? What? Oh, sweet. Hold on. Wait a second.

Dan, what's really going on? How old are you? 33. 33? And you host mainly high school things? Oh, no, no. When I first started. Oh, when you first started.

Oh, whoa. So you were 26. 26 from, yeah. Still weird. Still weird, yeah. If you had to guess how much of material, like if you had to put out your longest possible special right now. Oh, I don't even know. If you had to guess. I don't If you had to put out your longest possible special I don't even know 10 minutes, 4 minutes

20, 30, 50 A good tight like ha ha ha 15 minutes Like laugh per minute Is ha ha ha good? Ha ha is good Ha ha ha Ha ha ha But it's weird

Because I can't I thought of putting out an album. How do you... How do you put out an album? How do you what? What nationality are you? Filipino. Gross.

Oh, Jesus. Drum roll, guys. It's the first Filipino Jeremiah from Kansas has ever seen. He's really yuckied out about that. Yeah. What's in the backpack? Is that a part of your persona?

Sorry, your poster fell down. Thank you. Jokes. I got a couple of books. Some pantyhose. What the fuck just happened? Hold on a second. Oh, yeah. All right.

So, Dan, what do you do for work? Well, I used to, before moving here, I lived in New York. Worked for Marlo Thomas. You guys know her? No. She was like Danny Thomas' daughter. Who?

Now she's not anymore? No. She was like Danny Thomas' daughter. Who? She was. Dan Thomas? Now she's not anymore? No, she still is. Dave Thomas? Danny Thomas. Who's Danny Thomas? Someone else we don't know. Nobody knows any of the people.

No? Nobody knows Danny Thomas? You know Danny Thomas? No? He's like this big time old Hollywood dude. Who? Marlo was a that girl. This is sort of like brilliant. He was like this big-time old Hollywood dude. Who? Marlo was a that girl. Which girl?

Marlo Thomas? This is sort of like brilliant. Whatever you're doing right now, where you're saying things like we should totally know what they are. Were you an assistant, like a personal assistant? No, I was an actual video producer. Okay. Whoa.

Shit just took another turn, it seems. I'm scared, man. Something happened. I would color correct her neck And her entire like I was an editor color correcter guy There you go The picture is black and white dude

This guy is old as fuck His daughter is Marlo Thomas Wait look The makeup she's 32 Children Marlo Thomas So I got laid off last December. And then I was like, you know what? Let's move down to L.A.

They gave me a pretty good package. And then I see some kids. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She married Phil Donahue. Hells yeah. There we go. I was at their house, guys. I was at their house.

Wait a second. Of all the names you named, you didn't mention fucking Donahue? I wanted to keep it a surprise, Tony. It's not a surprise. No, no. No, you weren't sitting on Donahue. I wanted to keep it a surprise, Tony. It's not a surprise. No, no. No, you weren't sitting on Donahue. Or else you would have said Donahue when everything was going awkward a minute and a half ago. Donahue.

Wanted it to be a surprise. I like making things terrible. And then dropping the good stuff later. So wait a minute. Were you hoping that was going to be your thing? Like you went from the high school hosting and you're like, yo, Phil Donahue's the dog. Well, I've always wanted to get into standup and then I realized like, you know, there's money in video production and I love like film sketches and whatnot.

Donahue's theme music. And you know, after moving from Montreal to Toronto. So stupid. Yeah, I don't know. Canada was like, okay. All right. Fuck it. What's Donahue like?

He's cool. Really? He offered me juice. Juice? Yeah, he was working out with his trainer, and he came down the stairs all sweaty. Hey, man. Want some juice? Yeah.

Like that. Exactly. What'd you say? Yes. He was like. He treated it like he was Superman or something. And then he pointed at. Yeah.

I wish it was like steroids instead of actual juice. What kind of juice was it? It was like Perrier flavored fruity stuff. Perrier flavored juice? What kind of fruit do you need to buy in which Perrier comes out the other end?

It was nice peach. The old carbonated pumpkin juice. Alright. Okay, thank you. Dan, what else in life is going on? You know, just like What's the best show you've ever had in your life? How many ha-ha's? This was about like

I'll say this one This is being filmed, right? This is the best one? Play the camera Yeah, I would say this one Guys, is being filmed, right? This is the best one? Play the camera. Yeah, I would say this one. Guys, check out, is this camera two? Check out dan-ramas.com. No, no, don't really do that.

Stop, stop, stop. Dan, stop doing what you're doing. Okay, craziest one. I went in, do you know Andy Dick? Andy Dick has that show on Sunset. Sky Mother. So I go in and I say hi to Andy and Russell Peters was there too.

And then I'm living with his friend who's from Toronto. Long story short, I said, hey, Russell, I'm Dan. He's like, I remember you. He's like, you want to go on? Like on stage? I'm like, yeah. He's so nice. And then he goes, and I'm there with my girlfriend. He's so fucking nice.

Russell Peters is the nicest guy in comedy. He was hosting. He was hosting. This is proof right here. If you ever need one piece of physical evidence of how nice of a guy. And he knows I'm Canadian too. So then he goes, oh, he knows, I mean, that was the permission slip.

It was your Canadian passport. And then he goes, do you want to do 10? I was like, okay, fine. I forced my girlfriend to go up to the front. Did you do any of the 60 seconds that you did tonight in that 10 minutes? I don't think so, no. I ended off with a really good one. It was an impression of me.

What's that about? It's an impression of me. I don't want to hear it. What's it about? Just give me the premise. So we all have fears. Just say it's an impression. It's an impression of me shoving my head into an anus.

Okay. Yeah. It was a West Hollywood crowd. Was it? Yeah, it was good. It was at the La Brea one on Sunset. Adults only bar. I don't know.

It sort of reminded me of an Asian Lieutenant Dan. Did I ever tell you that before? I'll take that. I'll't know. It's okay. Sort of remind me of an Asian Lieutenant Dan. Did I ever tell you that before? I'll take that. I do love Puerto Rico. I'll take that. I'm not going to lie. I appreciate that, man. He's got the hat.

I actually watched him in the feature film last night, Surf Ninjas, so that was pretty cool. Any parting words for Dan, guys? Tate, if you were going to kill Dan, how would you do it? Quickly. Quickly. Quickly. Oh, shit.

I believe you. I believe you. That was the best. I believe you, Tate. Jay, if you were going to kill Dan, how would you do it? I don't know. I would go slow, man, because I bet I'd get fucking tons of ha-has out of him. Strangle. I like to strangle of ha-has out of him. Strangle.

I like to strangle him. Sort of laughing, though, and then crying. There you go. Dan with some more bombing, right, as he had a chance to go out like a hero. Dan, what's the coolest thing you've ever done in your entire life, other than that Russell Peters thing? I would say this. All right.

No, you're out of control. No, I'm not. You're out of control. I would say this. You're out of control. You're out of control. I would say this. Every single week I come here, I'm like, how the fuck do comedians come up here and just take it? Dan, what is your love life like? I think Brian might be on this. It's good.

Her real name is Carla. She's a real girl. From Montreal as well, but she lives here now. A real girl like a real doll? Wait. A plastic doll. You said you have a girlfriend named Carla. She's a real girl?

Yeah. She's a real girl. Did you have some numbers with some fake girls before? So you have to have the... On a scale from one to ten, how big is her dick? Okay. No, I'm kidding. She's a real girl.

How long have you guys been together? Known her for ten years. Been together for like seven months. Fuck yeah. How long did you want to bang her? Ten years. How many times did you want to bang her? Oh, I couldn't.

She was like my friend's girlfriend. Forbidden love, son. You don't do that. Hey, Tony. You ended up doing it. Yeah. I don't mean to be a dick, but I think this is a lost cause. I think we should move on.

There you go. Jeremiah calling it. Dan Ramos is gone. I tried to get rid of him earlier, and then I felt bad for saying that he bombed his... I gave him a shot. Just trying to help people. saying that he bombed his... Gave him a shot. Just trying to help people.

Sometimes even Jeremiah, Mr. Nice Guy, has to throw in the towel for everybody. I was boiling with rage. Oh, wow. I love that. Why didn't you say it when he was up there? I guess you did. I thought you were going to get him off like three times before that. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. We're getting through it.

I pulled another name out of the bucket. This looks like another new name. That's always fun. Put your hands together for Dietrich Shelton. Dietrich? Dietrich? Here we go. Dietrich Shelton, ladies and gentlemen.

I usually, when I do get a chance to get with girls, I date Caucasian ladies. As a matter of fact, I was having the sex with this Caucasian lady. And she whispers in my ear, can I say the N-word? Okay, let me explain. I hadn't had the sex in a while, so I wasn't going to ruin it by saying no. Other black people get mad at me, and I have to let them know, look,

letting some white bitch call me nigger, not the worst thing anybody's ever done for pussy. I thought to myself, maybe this will be sexy. Yeah, my mind went there. And then I heard it out loud. What followed was the most angry militant finish in history. Not only did I come, I overcame.

Wow That was awesome Dietrich Am I saying that right? Yes you are saying it correctly Dietrich you are awesome man I try it works out from time to time Assassin where are you from? Phoenix Arizona

How long have you been doing stand up? Nine years That is fucking great. One more time for Dietrich, everybody. Showing us all how it's done. Absolutely hilarious. That's cool, man. Jeremiah, what's going on over there? Why are you giggling like that?

What's going on? This is one creepy black dude, I'll tell you that much. Why? What's creepy? What do you mean? What do you mean, what was creepy? Him leaning into, and then a white girl. Caucasian. Caucasian, man.

A Caucasian girl. I loved it. He's got some fucking swag. I loved it. No, there's like some pizzazz there. I was drawn in immediately. I started laughing as soon as he started talking. It was great.

Yeah. Real upgrade. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like your style. Dietrich, that's fun. Nine years of stand-up. You always been in Arizona?

You still live there? Born and raised. I moved here in February. I've seen you around a couple times. Do you do the character the whole time? The what? Do you think you're doing a character? Oh no, this, what I'm doing now is a character

That's you? Cool The stage is what I actually am Gotcha Like I said, creepy black dude What? What? Oh, the stage? That is the real me. Who you are talking to right now is actually the character.

It's been a couple times where I've tried to figure out everything that's going on so hard that I think I just end up blanking out and then come back. And then I try to figure out what's going on sometimes. So what you were doing during the 60 seconds was the character, this is who you really are. Is that what you meant? Yes and no. You mean the whole thing is me.

All of it. Red Man, you're stupid, man. I... I accidentally came upon this by trying to be myself and then it over it blends real life and stage so did you work in like sometimes the canvas becomes the painter

oh my god Jeremiah What just happened You just became him Unbelievable What else are you into Other than stand up What else do you like to do What are your hobbies and stuff Well I'm a lifelong fan of professional wrestling

Oh that's awesome We all are here I'm a lifelong fan of professional wrestling. Oh, that's awesome. We all are here. A bunch of us here. I do a pro wrestling podcast now. Thank you. I'm very excited about it. Favorite pro wrestler of all time? I have never cheered against Hulk Hogan.

Wow. You're still pro Hulk Hogan? From everything I know about you, it seems like you like being called the N-word. How is Hogan still your number one? He fell off on all the white people's lists when he did that shit. Well, I don't know. What happens when he, even to this date,

if he starts hulking up, it's like, oh, my God, he's about to do something. You know, it brings me back to a simpler time, a purer time. A purer time. Why do I feel like you're like 145 years old? He is, man. And you've always looked that way. Who raised you? Who raised you?

My mother. Your mom? Just your mom? Yeah, my mom and, like, a stepdad. Like a, like, you're not sure if he mom? Just your mom? Yeah, my mom and like a stepdad. You're not sure if he was? He came in late probably. Well, they were never married and he came late. Gotcha.

Came late. You came. I overcame. Thank you, Tate. How long have you been out of Phoenix? Since February. So about nine months. So this is a new joke because you can't do a joke like that in Arizona.

Isn't that true? No, I absolutely can't do a joke like that in Arizona. Isn't that true? No, I absolutely can't do a joke like that in Arizona. I just thought they don't even fuck with Martin Luther King Day there. Oh, no, it's plenty racist. That's why the nigger thing works. My point is Matt. That's why it works. He plays the other side of the coin.

So if you were banging Hulk Hogan, would that be okay if he said the N-word? It seems like it's already okay If he calls him the N word He already did He said the N word Hulk Hogan said the N word Multiple times During sex

Whoa, whoa, whoa You settled down over there Dietrich, so that's interesting Did you do musical theater growing up? No, I did... That's a good question. That's a really good question. That is a good question. I don't know why you guys reacted that way.

I have no rhythm, so I actually did theater, though. Right. Oh, yeah. That's what I meant. That's what I really meant. Now, looking back on it, but that makes sense. Anyway, I was accidentally funny there in real life. Jeremiah is blacker than you. I've gotten that, but that cop that pulled me over for no reason would disagree.

Right. I like your style. Wow, way to bring down the moment, D-Drink. Hey, I have to bring you down to pick you up. Yeah, I like it. Oh, hello. You're a stone-cold assassin, man. I like your style.

One must be broughten down before one is broughten up. He's filled with just killer quotes. You've had some bomb-ass tearaway calendars in your day. The bucket of water does not fill itself until it reaches the bottom of the well. Anything else cool, Dietrich? Any other cool hobbies? Comedy, pro wrestling?

Well, I used to teach kids how to play Yu-Gi-Oh! Play Yo-Yo? Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yeah. I was a demo team member, so what I would do is actually teach kids how to play the game. Of what?

Yu-Gi-Oh. It's based on an animation. It's like Pokemon, but even worse. Oh, wow. That's some cool hipster shit there. I'm disappointed that you know that. I'm... Jeremiah just lost the connection

in show business. That happens that quick. Wow, Tate, you really... I think we're starting to figure out. You're like a nerd with tons of swagger is what I'm figuring out about you, right?

You're a pretty nerdy dude. You know what's really nerdy? Not pretty. Extremely. Oh my God. Extremely nerdy. But on stage, the first 60 seconds we saw of you was like rock and roll. It was like, you know, like a chubbier version of every cool plot comic that, wow, I don't know why Chewbacca just came in there. I don't know what the fuck that was.

Oh my God. God. You know what I think it is? I just think he owns who he is. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're not trying to be anybody else. You're like, yeah, this is who I am.

And you don't give a fuck. So many times we try to be someone we're not, and that's kind of what I dig about you. I know Jeremiah's not for it. He's looking to change the world in a negative way. And I just think it's cool. It's cool. You remind me of, like, Chris Rocky Road. Is that funny?

No? Stupid? No. Thank you, Chewy. Thank you, Chewy. All right, Dietrich. Well, it was nice meeting you, man. Thank you, sir.

Fun times. Have a great night. There he goes. Dietrich Shelton. Dee Shelton comedy, all one word. We're having fun. Another day at the office, right? Another fun little fucking Monday. Nothing can ever go office, right? Another fun little fucking Monday.

Nothing can ever go wrong, right? I like Mondays. It's my favorite day of the week. You guys having fun? Well, well, well. Every once in a while I reach a name out of the bucket and it's a goddamn motherfucking legend. You should all be very excited.

Someone we love, someone we've seen a few times before and instantly stole our hearts. This is one of the few guests that when I pull this name out of the random bucket, I know for a fact that for the next few minutes, we're about to have a shit ton of fun. And absolutely

nothing can fuck that up. And sometimes that's hard to say that on a show that's completely improvised and anything can happen. But shit's about to get turned up. Because I give to you one of our favorites. Aphrodite, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, yeah. Afrodite, everybody!

Come on! Hey! I just want to say one thing right now. None of y'all white people call me a motherfucking nigga. I whip all y'all ass up in this bad boy, okay? I'm from St. Louis. We don't play that shit, okay?

You know, I've been dating this guy, and he just now laid on me that he's supposed to be a damn minister. What the hell is he doing dating me? Because I ain't about to convert to shit, okay? Unless it's smoking some motherfucking weed, some good motherfucking weed on top of that, okay? I'm like, ain't y'all church people not supposed to have no sex? He go, yeah. I said, well, what the hell did we just do?

You licking and sticking it. I mean, what the hell? You know what? What is wrong with people? Why would you join a church and know damn well your dick ain't going to cooperate with that shit? You know damn well your dick will say, yo, man, what you doing? What you doing? What the fuck you talking about? We ain't gonna cooperate with that shit. You know damn well your dick gonna say, yo man, what you doing? What you doing? What the fuck you talking about? We ain't doing nothing. Shit. I gotta get some

and you gonna be right with your dick. Like you can separate your dick from yourself, okay? You know that don't make no damn sense. People need to get that shit out. I mean, it just don't make no sense. Aphrodite. I love y'all. Aphrodite, everybody. She's here. The one y'all. Aphrodite, everybody. She's here.

The one and the only. The greatest person in the world. We know her. We love her. She's crazy as fuck. The 60 seconds are out of the way. So here we are. Aphrodite, let's do this shit.

That's right, baby. I'm excited to see you again. How's life? Oh, life is good. I'm really excited. I'm getting ready to do a New Year's Eve show. Did you really hook... Wait, what about a New Year's Eve show? I'm singing a New Year's Eve show in Grand Park, downtown, 70,000 people.

What are you going to sing? Oh, yeah. I'm singing with a group called Jungle Park. New Year's Eve. I'm going to be there, too, with Joe Rogan and Joey Diaz and me doing a big New Year's show at a theater downtown. Totally much better part of downtown than what you're going to be in. Oh, yeah, yeah, really?

Yeah, two totally different parts of downtown completely. I hope y'all smoking weed in y'all motherfucking port. I mean, you know. Aphrodite. Yes, we're always smoking weed. Hell, yeah. If you ain't smoking weed, you ain't shit. I mean, go ahead.

If you ain't smoking weed, you ain't shit. Especially in Cali where it's legal. You hear that, kids? 12 and under? You hear that? Don't listen to your parents. They ain't shit. I mean, you know.

Your parents ain't shit. No one's shit. Remember that one, too. That goes for everybody. Aphrodite. So is this true? You really hooked up with the minister? Yeah.

He just laid it on me after like two years. You know, he talking all this shit about, you know, he trying to get right with God and all that. I'm like, well, I ain't trying to get right with God. I don't know what the hell. Wait, with who? God. Yeah, wait. Did you just step up a couple?

Yeah, you know. You know, my people, we confused. You know, y'all know how to slave. We all fucked up. You know what I'm saying? We don't know shit. We don't know worship the white Jesus or the black Jesus or the Buddha or the motherfucking Ali. We don't know what the fuck to worship.

You know? Sometimes I have no idea what you're saying, but it still all makes perfect sense and works out. It's unbelievable. How can you go without sex? I don't understand that. Tony, how many? What do you mean? They don't. Clearly. They were banging you for two I don't understand that. Tony, how many... They don't.

Clearly, they were banging you for two years. That's right. Yeah, wait, what makes you think that... You think he's going to stop hooking up with you? Well, you know, I was going to keep a backup like a battery, you understand what I'm saying? So they're going to run out on the motherfucking world, you know what I'm saying?

You got a man on the side sometimes? Hell yeah, hell yeah. What does he do for work? I don't know, but he's about to work on me. Whoa. I got a job for him. I got a job for him. Wow.

What's your favorite thing to do when you're really hooking up with someone? What's some of your favorite parts of the bedroom? What's some of the favorite parts? Yeah. What? The bed, the floor, the window, the door. Wow. The window?

The window. That seems like a very dangerous situation for you. You know what I'm saying? I would not put you up against the window, Aphrodite. That's one thing.

What? You scared my ass to get in the way of something? No matter how drunk I got, even if I got drunk enough to fuck Aphrodite, I would not, I would say,

Aphro, get away from that window. Can I call you Aphro? I'm wasted Afro get away from that window Can I call you Afro I'm wasted Then I go to the door Get up in this ass you got broken glass Come on Aphrodite let's get out of here It's kind of hard to get my ass out the window You know

I get stuck right away They don't make windows for asses like mine They make them little bitty ass windows. Tony, how many times has Aphrodite been on the show, do you think? I think probably like five, six, seven. No, four. We have that connection.

You guys got to put a picture up front not to let me in because I'm coming. Wait, what? I said you got to put a picture out front not to let me in because I'm coming. Wait, what? I said you got to put a picture out front not to let me in because I'm going to keep coming. A picture out front. You know, America's most unwanted. They're not even looking for me. We love you, Aphrodite. I don't know why you would say that.

You're one of our favorite people. I love you guys. What do you do when you're not coming here? What do you do for fun, like other nights? Well, actually, I like to go and do karaoke sometimes. I have a great time. What are some of your go-to karaoke songs? I go

up on Hollywood Boulevard to a place called the Catina, and it's hot. No, the songs. The songs. What kind of songs? I sing things like by Deborah Cox, Nobody's Supposed to Be Here. I love doing her stuff. I do Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder, but I kind of take it to church, you know. A lot of Blink-182.

Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder, but I kind of take it to church, you know. A lot of Blink-182. Isn't she lovely? Life and love are the same. You know. Wow. Yeah. You seem. Shit. Aphrodite seems like she has a seven-minute long version of the national anthem.

Yeah. Yeah, I put some Minnie Riperton notes in that shit, though. No idea. I mean, if you said it four more times, I still wouldn't know for sure. The home of the free and the home of the brave. You definitely don't have windows.

We just found out. Yes, I break all of them. All plastic cups at Aphrodite's house. You definitely don't have windows. You just found out. Yes. I break all of them. All plastic cups at Aphrodite's house. That fucking note is shattering. Only thing hard for me to do is run because my ass keep bringing me back. I try to run far and my ass keep bringing me back like that. Is that how that works? I don't know how I'm having it.

If I try to run far, my ass will bring me back. Like, where does the poop come out of on that fucking thing? Like, that thing is unbelievable. Like, does it come out of, like, the side? Does it just, like, shoot out? I don't know how butts like that work. I have a little rinky-dinky. Like, I just have, like, two little flaps of skin back there.

You know what I mean? You have, like, that thing is a geographical anomaly. That is, it looks like someone made it with a fucking protractor. It's like, what is that? Oh, Jesus. I feel like Brian didn't even hit that. I feel like that music just plays when it gets that close to you. This is real 100% USD motherfucking booty, okay?

USD. USD. Great A motherfucking ghetto booty, okay? USD, STD. That's right. All them Ds, man. This is what cornbread and homos and chitlins will do for their ass. Not that they're obsessed with it.

I don't know what you heard. I heard cornbread, homos, and chitlins. No. Like she's literally eating homosexuals. Cornbread, homos, and chitlins. That's what gets your booty like this. You got to have some grease in your life. Put some grease in your life.

You know what I'm saying? What's the craziest thing you've ever done with your butt? Oh. You saw me when I came on and I did the exercise. I told them my fat people exercise. You know, they keep on talking shit about fat people don't work out. Well, I work out, and this is one of my main exercises. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

What the fuck is that? That's working out. That's working out. How do you know how to do that? That's working out. How do you know how to do that? That's called isolated ass movement. That's all muscle back there, isn't it? That's right. Can't do that with that fake shit. That's like all muscle.

That's right. You're like the real black China. The real black bootay. Not the booty, but the bootay. And he's real, too. These my mothers up here. Hey, bless mom. Aphrodite, you ever have to beat anybody up?

When's the last time you had to slap someone across the face? I told you I don't fight bitches. When's the last time you had to slap someone across the face? Oh, way, way back in grade school. Way back. I had a right hooker, bitch. I feel like Aphrodite is also like 135 years old, much like

Dietrich. That's right. That white woman, Afrodite from the Greeks, she tried to steal my shit, man. Again, that's another one of those parts where I have no idea what you just said. No idea why people be stealing white people's shit. Do y'all know how it is? It's the thing my brain does where it bounces the words back and forth,

goes through a whole filter, and just came back again. Just nothing. See, that's what happens when my ass hits the stage. You ever use Siri before? Like, she must be like, you must be fucking kidding me. I'm having chest pains. You will need to. What?

Speech classes here on this street. Make right. They don't have a ghetto woman on that GSP thing, you know, for the traffic. Whatever you call it. On the GSP. On the George St. Pierre. You know, slow down. I told you.

That's sort of funny. If GSP had his own GPS, make left or I kick in the head. It should be a ghetto language. It should be a ghetto language. Because people would be driving so stupid. Ghetto one. If you were the lady for that. You know, like if you're driving down the street. It should be a ghetto language. It should be a ghetto language. People would be driving so stupid. Ghetto one. If you were the lady for that. You know, like,

if you're driving down the street, they tell you, What would you say? Go left at the turn. Go left. See, if it was ghetto, motherfucking turn left. Did I tell you,

you stupid motherfucking ass, to turn left? Why you going to the right, motherfucking? So, that's sort of good. You should turn that into a bet. Yeah. You should say that.

Ghetto directions. Yeah, you should say that. You know, if the GPS was a black woman, it would get you to do stuff. Yeah. Or if it was a game, you know. A little more intense, I mean, with the black lady. Turn at the corner, homie. Somebody waiting for you, homie. Oh, shit.

Look out. It's a little gangster. Show us the future now. Yeah, we got a score to settle with you, homie. Come on in with your boys. Yeah. Yeah. Put your toys on the table, you know? Put your toys on the table? Put your toys on the table. What'd you say?

What the fuck? Oh my god, Aphrodite. What's the craziest sexual encounter you've ever had? Yeah, great question. The craziest? Oh, I guess I... Is that lipstick you got on your teeth? No. Yeah, no, it is. It's blood.

I usually have freaky white guys lick it off for me. No, she always... I told her that, too. I don't have mirrors in my house. Lipstick on her teeth is one of her biggest trademarks. She's notorious. I don't have mirrors in my house. Well, you look fantastic.

Oh, thank you. For 61, not bad. Let's get into the sex shit. Okay, the sex shit. Oh, probably an insertion of a chocolate bar, I should say. Until it melted? Oh, yes. Are you being serious?

Oh, no, I'm half serious and serious. I was curious when it happened. What actually happened, Aphrodite? Did you put a chocolate bar inside of you? No, I didn't put it inside. Who did? I am not telling anything. My mom would love this.

I'm not telling anything. Your mom listens to DeathSquad.TV? My mother is a born-again church lady. She's not going to find out. Oh, you never know. My mother is nosy. She worked for the FBI. Not the I, but the FB.

Okay. Can you just tell us what kind of candy bar it was? Facebook, yeah, I guess. I don't know what kind of bar it was. Was it a Mars? But the guy went crazy. He what kind of bar it was. Was it a Mars? But the guy went crazy. He had a great time eating it. Was it a Twix?

What did it feel like? I don't know. It was great because he was into it. Butterfinger, wasn't it? I mean, if you like chocolate, and I'm chocolate, hi. Was it a payday? I don't know. I didn't see it.

I didn't even know he was going to do it. Ribbed for your pleasure? Peanut and crusty? He just had chocolate all over his lips. I was like damn peanuts on the outside on paydays if you don't know is it a baby ruth i don't know i didn't get to see the bread you didn't see the rapper i just saw the chocolate there wasn't that like awkward rapper staring at you the next morning like oh that's what it was it was a fucking uh

it was great though that's the only time though i't get too wild. I think my body does me kind of a little bit of a disservice because people think I'm wild and out of control. That's why they think you're wild? Yeah. I'm just a little wild and a little out of control. Not out of control. So if a guy, all right, Aphrodite, settle down. Settle back. Aphrodite.

Are you really 61? I'm 61. Wow. Good for you. One more time for Aphrodite, everybody. I'm still not done with you, though. I'm going to hold on to you for a little bit longer here. Wait, what was your career like in your 30s and 40s?

What were you doing? I've been a singer all my life. I've been blessed. I just fell in love with music. My family is full of music, musicians, singers, and stuff. So it naturally came to me. I just never knew i'd come to california from st louis and so go to world he puts the candy bar inside of you so then what

does he do does he eat it i'm gonna have to charge your ass you keep asking all these questions 75 cents a minute if you want to continue can't tell you everything for free you seem like you'd be great at phone sex phone sex it? It's funny you said that. I did that a long time ago. I bet you did. Yeah, yeah. That was right in between. I was good at it.

I got a dollar to hear the chocolate story. Aphrodite. Joel Jimenez. Tell the chocolate story. Oh, Joel Jimenez giving a dollar for the team and a little booty shake. Yeah. You get that for free. That's my piggy bank right there.

That's definitely more like a piggy stank. I need some money. Piggy stank? I know what I can do. I can get reparations from all the white people in the audience. Y'all feel bad about what happened to black people. Just put some money in y'all hands. Aphrodite, you're begging for money now.

Settle back again. Settle back. Naughty Aphrodite so Joel gave you a dollar can you give us a little bit more of the candy bar story oh god hell no

oh she's about to give it back oh my god she's digging for something y'all better collect some money please give it back. Please give it back. I'm not giving shit back. All right.

If I give you another dollar, will you give him that dollar that's in your underwear? If you give me $20, $30, $100. No, I'm going to give you a dollar, but you give him that dollar. No, no, no. I want him to. I want all that cash. No, I'll give you. See how white people is.

Don't want to share the money. That's fucked up. You don't really have a choice. That's fucked up. That's fucked up. All right, hand me that dollar. I ain't fucking around. I'm going to retire after this shit.

Don't get the dollars mixed up. I want Joel to get the butt dollar back, you fucking idiots. It's not about the money. It's the dollar. You guys are all morons. Now they're all shuffled up. Fuck it. See, you don't want to treat black people right.

I'm not giving you any money, Aphrodite. You guys just ruined the whole fucking bit. Oh, she knows which one. It smelled good. She smelled it. It smelled good. My shit always smells good. Alright. That's right. I'll buy you a drink after this show. There she goes. Aphrodite, everybody. I love it. Peace in this world, my love.

We gotta keep moving on. If it was up to me, I'd spend all fucking night with Aphrodite. That might be fun one night. Just a random Wednesday night Kill Tony and Aphrodite special. Maybe we will do something fun in a couple weeks for a New Year's Eve episode.

Some type of best of. Maybe invite back some freaks. Tam Fam and some other people. I don't know why. I was getting physically ill from that candy bar story. Really? Yeah, like I love candy bars, but I just kept imagining like every kind of

candy bar just like going inside of Aphrodite. I'm like, can this stop? This is getting so disgusting. And you know, she called it a candy bar, so it's really pretty much, you could go through the whole spectrum of candy because she'd probably call like sour apple like straw things, you know go through the whole spectrum of candy because she'd probably call sour apple straw things. She'd probably just call it a candy bar.

You know what I mean? It's all in the spectrum of candy bar to her. So you really have to picture all your favorite candies, like Boston baked beans and... Pop rocks. Pop rocks just fucking fizzling over. It was probably just licorice and the guy just bit off both ends and just sucked out of it like a straw. All right.

Can you mute your own mic? Red Band hears something gross. He's like, oh, we're whipping dicks out? Let's do this. Here we go. You don't challenge me. I got the sweetest thighs in the business. Oh, by the way, Tony,

just as a reminder of that interview, you literally said to her at one moment, where does the poop come out of that thing? I never got an answer to that, by the way. And the Amy consideration for writing on a live podcast goes to Tony Inglis. Words up the back. I mean, like,

if you sit, it seems like there would be a lot of extra wiping that goes on there. Am I right? Is there a lot of extra wiping that you have to do because of your bigger butt cheeks? Like, my butthole is pretty much like, it looks straight at that toilet water, just eye to eye. It seems like your butthole would have more stuff in between. It seems like it would just get stuck sometimes. In your butt cheeks.

Does that happen? Okay, fine. I just had to ask. You all pretend like you didn't want to know. Like I'm crossing the line, but you all wanted to fucking know if the poop hits the butt cheeks. Even Aphrodite.

You think she really wipes that well? Come on, people. I'm kidding. You just get a wet towel and you put it on the ground and wipe it around. What I'm trying to say is I have the number one butthole in the world. The strongest, most confident butthole

there is. Direct poops to the toilet water every single time the golden pony. It's hanging down looking at the water. The water fears me every time I hover over it. Looks eye to eye with the water? I like to think that I have a pretty good system.

I think I'm a pretty good bathroom goer. I pulled another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Alex Arawa. Arawa? So I was a football player in high school. Anyone else play football? My coach used to always tell me, Alex, play hard no matter what. Play hard. Which is very difficult because my football pants did a terrible job of hiding my erection.

I remember in high school as well, I did a lot of essays, you know, like writing papers, not having sex with the gangsters, you know. And at one point I used the term noisy women, and I ended up losing a point for being redundant. Nothing wrong with being called noisy. At least I don't think so.

Anyway, that's all I got. Fuck yeah, Alex Arawa. Am I getting this right? I mean... There you go, Jeremiah. Long sax intro there. Very good. Alex, am I getting this right? Are you a fucking tough gay guy? Is that what I'm

noticing? Is that what the jokes were all meant to be? You're gay, but you're like tough as fuck? Oh, sorry. Am I right? Uh, no. Oh, okay. Then I'm probably about to get beat up. Uh, I'm pretty

sure like everything, it sounded like, by the way, when I was listening to what I thought it was, I'm like, this fucking guy is brilliant. But now I'm pretty sure it sounded like, by the way, when I was listening to what I thought it was, I'm like, this fucking guy is brilliant. But now I'm picking up on maybe I was just hearing something wrong, right? It was like, hey, I played football, but then all of a sudden, you know, it was weird

because I had the huge erection that you could see in my football pants while I'm playing football. It was actually mostly a play on words because my coach said play hard and you know, get an erection No, we get it. Did you guys get that? Number one, just off the bat

you have to put the microphone close to your mouth because none of us could hear you. That should actually be number two. One should be don't chew gum. And then two would be the microphone. But then your second joke was like, hey, something gangbanger, and then what am I going to do? Fuck him? I mean, am I really the only one that picked up on gay shit during that set?

No. You guys got to be fucking kidding me. Why does gay shit mean he's got to be gay? Maybe I am gay. If I'm the only one. Tony, I thought the exact same thing. Oh, okay. The play hard went over my head.

I just saw a boner in the pants, and I was like, where's this going with the football? And I thought it was great. I'm like, oh, that's fucking awesome. Oh, okay. The play hard went over my head. I just saw a boner in the pants and I was like, where's this going with the football? And I thought it was great. I'm like, oh, that's fucking awesome. This is hilarious. I've never seen like a fucking like like a tough like cholo-esque like fucking like gay guy just like, what's up? These people are like, you know, I'm just like, what's up? I'll fuck you. I'll fuck you in your

fucking butt, man. Like I don't give a fuck. Like that would be the most hilarious. One of my favorite newest comedians that would be. But it just turns out like I'm sort of completely confused about what you were talking about the entire time. You know what I like even better? That he's a straight dude that's doing a gay joke. Yeah. Going for it.

I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. Yeah. No. Yeah. He'll suck your dick to prove it. Oh, shit. Alex, that's fun, man. How long have you been doing stand-up?

Off and on, four years. Off and on. What do you do for work? I'm an over-the-road truck driver. Over the road? Yep. To grandmother's house we go? What does over the road mean?

Is there any under-the-road truck drivers that I don't know about? Not that I know about. What's over the road? I mean like I go across the country. Oh wow. That's fucking crazy, huh? You piss in bottles and stuff like that, right? So tell us about the rest stop hookers. How great are they? How cheap are they?

How dirty are they? My standards are pretty low, but not that low. I don't believe that. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, you're out there on the road all by yourself. You're in the middle of fucking Missouri. You're lonely. Yeah, you got that back cab that you can just tuck in there.

If you kill her, you kill her. You just throw her back outside. All day long, you look out your window while driving. You're getting turned on by all the little kids going like that. Yeah. Jerking off there. It's like, God, I'm getting horny. These kids with their dirty hand jobs.

I can barely hide my boner right now through these trucker pants. Anyway. There's a lot of masturbating while driving, right? You have to do that, right? You have to, right? More than normal, yes. Do you have any idea what that might sound like, Brian? I'm looking at it right now.

It would be that and then that. You're such an idiot. Anytime we try to produce anything Like just prepare something smart for a second It all just hits the fan What's the closest you've come to falling asleep And having a horrible accident? The closest? Like what's the longest stretch you've driven for

Where you shouldn't have been driving anymore? I'd say about 19-20 hours That seems horribly dangerous It about 19-20 hours. That seems horribly dangerous. It does. 19-20 hours. Do you still use CB radios or is that out? We still use it but not normal. Now we just talk shit to

each other. There's a snake in my boot. Creepiest conversation you've ever had on one of those radios? You ever find out anything about another trucker in the area or something like that? Anything ever stand out to you? Personally, nothing really creepy, just extremely racist. It's like Xbox

chat rooms, but in semis. Xbox chat rooms for creepy, chubby old people. What's the most racist thing? You're a little Mexican, right? So what's the most racist thing towards Mexicans that you've heard said with people not realizing that you're a Mexican? Let's see here.

Because all the other truckers, we know that they're just like, oh, yeah, we know you're not Mexican. You're just our gay white friend. Right? You're cool with us, Alex. You just got a little fucking suntan on you always, you know, from being out in the truck indoors. So what's the most... You ever hear them say anything racist about Mexicans on the roadway?

Occasionally, yes. Like what? The most racist thing? One guy wished that he could just stand at the border and just snipe us as we come across. Jesus Christ. One guy wished that he could just stand at the border and just snipe us as we come across. Jesus Christ.

So you're out there in the middle of fucking probably Arizona or something like that, right? And then that comes over the thing. And you're probably, I mean, how do you react to that? Like, what did your brain tell you? Did you say anything back? Like, yeah, yeah, fuck them. Oof, they're bad.

Yeah, he just pretends he's white. Right. He's like, he's got rebel flags on his back. Yeah, like one guy was like, Trump don't even need to build a wall. Just have a couple of us out there with like sniper rifles. Problem solved. A lot cheaper. Like that was a real quote.

Wow. A lot cheaper. I mean, that guy does have a point. It would be way cheaper. Is that you, Donald? Is that you? That was you, wasn't it? Yeah.

Sounds familiar. Alex, how long have you been driving trucks for? About a year and a half. Have you ever seen a load quite as big as Aphrodite's ass? If you had to hitch that thing onto a truck, how would you do it? How would I do it? It doesn't really matter.

It's not really answerable. What's the main drug? Is it Adderall that everyone's doing to stay awake? Or is it cocaine? Are they all coke heads? It's still meth. It's still meth. Meth is strong. It's still going. It's still meth. Still meth.

Meth is strong. It's still going, baby. It works. Why fuck with results? Proud to be an American. Hitler did it too. How are they so fat and on meth all the time? That is a damn good question.

It's called meth burger, baby. Put a little spring of meth on a cheap burger. Slide that down right in the throat. Dip it in something to get some ketchup. Come on, baby. Get out of meth burger, baby. Put a little spring of meth on a cheeseburger, slide that down, run it through the door, dip it in the sun, get some ketchup, come on, baby, get out of the car, whoo! Little Walter White cake over here. You ever save a life or see anything like that where someone needs you

and you came and you saved a life out there? Uh, no. No? My dad has, though. He's a truck driver, too. Hey, have you seen the movie Frequency? No. Okay, there's like the movie Frequency? No. Okay, there's like a CB radio, and he talks to his dad from the past. I was wondering if you've ever talked to your dad from the past. Has that ever happened?

That's a good question. Probably when you were driving straight for 19, 20 hours all of a sudden. Son, son, it's me. Is your dad very Mexican? What's the combo there? Are you totally Mexican? Totally. Wow.

Totally Mexican. Yeah, exactly. That's why, for those of you... Like all of it. ...wondering why I asked. It's because that's what he sounds like. Mexi. Mexi.

It's a Mexi blend. Like I'm Supes Mexican Where were you born and raised? McFarland, California Wow, where's McFarland? Was that with the track team? Yes Oh, dude, what a movie I cried, did you cry?

A little bit, yeah I get to see the As if I didn't know the fucking Pace of this room earlier. Now I get it. What is it? You didn't see McFarlane, the Disney movie with Costner about the track team? Oh, the cross-country team.

Cross-country, whatever. You saw a movie about cross-country and you're like... Man, it's touching. I'm going to drive that shit. Fuck this running bullshit. I'm going to sit in a fucking car. Anyway, that's a pretty amazing town to be from. No one gives a fuck here.

Let's go back to our homophobia about him being gay. Hey, remember when he sucked dicks? He said that. Hey, that was a great line. That's why I brought it back up. Well, Alex, there you go. Anything else? How long have you've done stand-up again four

years off and on what does that mean it means when i went to college i didn't do it at all so for about the two and a half years you went to college to drive a truck you son of a bitch son of a bitch i heard it coming no i went i did go to college for two and a half years, but it didn't work out. So I left and became a truck driver. But during that time, I didn't do any stand-up battle. What do you mean it didn't work out? I just didn't want a degree. Did college break up with you?

It didn't work out. Let's just say it was, you know, we were in a very. We had irreconcilable differences. What kind of hemorrhoids He asked for it Don't say too late Tate I'll fight you right now I don't freaking care

I don't care how big you are You want to fight right now Tate I'll grow a mustache bigger than yours I'll punch you right in the dick hole Too late That was my favorite The shit that Tate gets to say That I haven't seen guests in three and a half years

Say to people It's so awesome The I haven't seen guests in three and a half years say to people, like, it's so awesome. The old rip your head off effect. That was the greatest thing ever. What kind of hemorrhoids are you working with? Are they, like, orange size, apple size, plum size? What was that question? What kind of hemorrhoids these guys?

How do you know so much about hemorrhoids? Is that true? All truckers have, like, hemorrhoids that stick out. How do you know that? Because there's websites you can pay money to see them. Why would you look at that? There's websites you can pay to see them. You can pay money to see them.

Crying red band. Red band is filthy. Unbelievable. Truckerbubble.com Is it true? Do you have hemorrhoids? I do not have hemorrhoids. Really?

How old are you again? 23. Oh, it's coming. How many guys do you know that have the Sylvester Stallone arm wrestling thing for over the top? I'm sorry? Like the Sylvester Stallone arm wrestling thing for over the top? Do you guys all do that or no? No.

There's not a secret. Earlier you admitted to masturbating while driving a truck that could kill tens and tens of people at once. Let me ask you this. When you were masturbating in the truck that could kill many people at once, were you masturbating using your imagination or using a phone? My imagination. Oh, okay. You never tried to do all three things at once, just balance it all out,

basically just dick juggling or something like that? No, nothing? What's your favorite porn category? Clean woman? Definitely. Clean women. Clean, nice women. What's your favorite porn category?

You can tell the truth here. What are you punching in your search? Aphrodite? You might be onto something there, right? All this racist talk all over the CB all day gets you turned on to some of it, right? I like your style. There's something really cool about you that I'm going to point out right now. That's that at certain parts you sweat profusely and then it dries up in like five seconds. As soon as you get caught, I've noticed it.

I wasn't going to say anything, but it just happened for the fourth time when you really started thinking about the porn. Right when I said you could just tell the truth, it's okay. It just fucking got so now it's really happening right now. It just went, it just went a little more than it has so far, which is fucking awesome. It's okay. But it's something that's cool. Maybe you could talk about and shit because it's some baller-ass shit. Because it also just dries back up if he's not sweating.

He's like a humidifier. Yeah. It sucks it right back in. He's like the Wolverine of sweat. He starts to... Because now that you're giggling, it's probably going to... Oh, no. It's getting worse. it's getting worse.

It just started bleeding from the top of his head. There he goes. Alex, it's all right, man. It's a fucking crazy live show. Did you have fun? I did. Any questions for your hero, Tate Fletcher? How would you kill me?

Good question. With kindness, for sure. Yeah. You got Tate's approval. Alex Arawa. Like so brave, what you've done. Like it's super brave, and I commend you for it. Just being here.

There you go. And stay awake on the fucking road because that's terrifying. Absolutely. Jay Larson, anything else for Alex? No, man. Keep going. There you go. Don't quit. Alex Arawa. There he goes. Brian Redband.

What do you think? What do we do here? Good or regular? Is Vanessa here? What's up? Yeah? All right, great. Put your hands together for... We're going to go back to the bucket after this. We have a regular. We have regulars that we have every week.

They do a new minute. A brand new minute every single week. This is really awesome. Vanessa is actually... This is her second-to-last performance on the show. She's leaving us. This is a new minute. A brand new minute every single week. This is really awesome. Vanessa's actually, this is her second to last performance on the show. She's leaving us. This is a crazy special announcement. Leaving us at the end of 2016. So we will be down

irregular after over a year of doing writing and performing a brand new minute every single week. One of the toughest gigs in all the comedy. This is her second to last performance. So that was breaking news. Normally that would happen first, and then you would get the news, but red band on the ones and twos, everybody.

Works out perfectly. Anyway, there you go. Gotcha, gotcha. When I make fun of me, it just hits random buttons then to bring it all back. Performing a brand-new 60 Seconds, you know her, you love her. It's Vanessa Johnston, ladies and gentlemen. Here she is. God, they're so small.

I just played the state lottery for the first time. Does anyone here play the lottery? Two people. Two people have hope. I'd never played the lottery before, so when I went to the gas station to buy my ticket, I thought the lady at the cash register knew which ticket was going to win. So I tried to be like extra nicer. I was like, hey, I like your blue eyeshadow. She was like, this is an eyeshadow. My boyfriend

beats me. I was like, oh, well, it looks great. It's very even. He does a great job. I didn't win. Do you ever wonder if a Make-A-Wish kid has wished to win the lottery, but the foundation's like, what's a 12-year-old kid going to do with $500 million? He's going to be dead by next week. Wish denied. All right, Vanessa Johnson. I like that.

I think the thing about going into the eye thing, I think it's its own separate thing. I don't think you need any of that lottery stuff to mix it all up. I mean, you ever try to give somebody a compliment and shit gets fucked up? I think that's that premise.

I was at a convenience store, told a lady I liked her eyeshadow. She's like, my boyfriend, you've got to be in with that, with all that other front stuff about the lottery. It's just because that has nothing to do with the getting beat part. And then it being even is funny because you try to fix it. But by that point, it's still. It's confusing. Yeah, because the lottery stuff throws it all off.

Yeah, I was like, I'm going to write material about the lottery. And I wrote like 50 jokes. And I didn't think any of them were funny. I was just like going material about the lottery. I wrote 50 jokes and I didn't think any of them were funny. I was just going, going, going. Me and one of my best friends, Matt Edgar, talk about it once every few weeks about how silly we used to be thinking that we could sit down

and when we first started, very first started, we would sit down and go, all right, what is there out there? There's dogs. We would sit there and we would just try to write about dogs. Meanwhile, after we were done trying to write, we would crack each other up laughing about actual shit that actually is material. You know what I mean? Like trying to pull something, squeeze something out of something that's not, you know, in your real life or existing or something like that.

It's always very hard. And it's sort of a big waste of time. But it does also build sort of a weird muscle so that when you do know what's funny, you know how to make it even funnier, if that makes sense as a premise. But if you wrote 50 jokes, you should try them all. I did, like over the week.

Oh, really? Yeah, and some would get pops. Isn't it funny that you wrote 50 lottery jokes and none of them paid off? That's incredible, right? That was a great one. What are the odds of that? On any of the jokes you wrote,

did you scratch it with a coin and there was a better joke underneath? I mean, you know. Fuck you guys! Hey Vanessa, are you going to miss the show? I mean, you know., are you going to miss the show? I mean, you know. Where are you going? What?

Where are you going? Oh, no, next week is my 60th minute, so I just wanted to take all the material I've done and polished it. Because there's only so much you can do in, like, five days, polishing a whole bit. So you'll be in town, you're not leaving town. No, no, no. I'm going on the road more. You're breaking up with the show.

Yeah, yeah. I don't want to say, like, break up. I'm going on the road more. You're breaking up with the show. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to say like break up. I just feel like... Yeah. Kind of like breaking up with college. Irreconcilable differences, Tate. Got it.

That was perfect timing, Jeremiah. Thank you. Really, really nice. Your saxophone playing is beautiful too. I love it. I really enjoy it. Thanks, man. Are you Mexican?

You're like so tan. Yes. Oh, okay. Oh, shit. These two just fell in love. Here we go. Mad Max Part 2 just started right now, everybody. That's the next one.

Do you date Mexican guys? Do I date Mexican guys? Well, I have friends that are Mexicans. Then I am not Mexican. Whoa, that did not answer the question at all, Vanessa. That was an interesting answer, actually. Wow. What does that mean?

No, no, no. It's not that I have a boyfriend. But like... Nobody's interested in that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'll date a Mexican. I'm not against Mexicans. But... It seems like with all the hand gestures that you kind of are. You're just really tan

for like January. You're like, I'll take coffee from a Mexican if they're serving it to me. I mean, you know. What is it about Tate that you're perceiving as very Mexican other than his tan? Well, no, he's so fucking tan, dude, and it's like January. Yeah, he's a real man. Look at him. He fucking does things. Are you outside?

Yeah. What are you doing outside? He's filming. He's a fucking, this guy's a real man. What do you mean, what's he doing outside? He's filming. This guy's a real man. What do you mean, what's he doing outside? High-fiving dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. In Jumanji, too. He's in Sicario, shooting shit.

With fucking military, just big-ass fucking guns. Every fucking movie. You will now that you've met Tate, you will not ever go see a movie with him not in it again. He's in fucking everything. Everything. Meanwhile, cut to Vanessa and I with umbrellas sitting on the side of the road being like, Will you pass a tea, sweetie?

I mean, no. Where are you from? What's your nationality? I'm from Minnesota. I was born in Minnesota. White! You're not Asian at all. No.

One, two, three. White! white not Asian at all no one two three white I'm like the whitest guy on stage you're blonde I know that's why I did the previous act out with you and I together in it oh boom how long have you been with your boyfriend

don't you flex on Jeremiah don't do that Patty Reagan shit to Jeremiah whoa wow he's got snapbacks and tattoos. What? No, it's all good. Anyway, you attracted to Tate? Is that what I'm picking up on?

What? You seem like a little shy around him. I've never really seen you like this. My Mexican friend's in Austin right now, and so I haven't had a Mexican friend in like three weeks. I haven't seen a real friend in like three weeks. I haven't seen a real one in a minute, so I just wanted to ask.

I haven't had a Mexican friend in three weeks? Is that the succession of words that just came out of your mouth? I'm here every week, Vanessa! Fuck! It's back on! Every single Monday. Yes! That's amazing. Wow. Fucked up. No, you're just so tan. It's like amazing. That's amazing. Wow.

Fucked up. No, you're so tan. It's amazing. I love it. I love how tan you are. Thanks. That's all. You should open with that.

You're so tan that you're almost her new black boyfriend. I'm pretty sure. All right, Vanessa. Rock and roll. I would date Samoans, though, if you're an Islander. High five, Vanessa. Okay. Bye.

Can we get a clean up on aisle three? There's a wet floor over here. Is that... You're just... Oh my god, you're just so... He's so tan. I just... He's like so tan.

So tan. That's amazing. Tate is he's like still tan still tan that's amazing Tate is the most badass motherfucker in the world look at that so like what kind of black are you this is like crazy I feel like there's a real question behind that like what are you really asking

at any rate alright let's do something fun behind that. What are you really asking? At any rate. Alright. Let's do something fun. Before we go back to the bucket one time, let's do a speed round with a lot of people hate him, a lot of people love him. I'm going to tell you that straight up, straight forward. Red Band might not be the biggest

fan. Maybe. He might be. Maybe the storyline. Who knows? Some people love him. Some people hate him. I fucking love them. Put your hands together for the Versi triplets, ladies and gentlemen. It's real. It's real.

What? It's so ridiculous. Most retarded shit ever. Cool. All right. Yeah, growing up with brothers is tough. Because you can't show any emotion or you get made fun of.

Yeah, like I remember the day my feelings died. I was 13 and my brothers discovered my diary. It was so cute. It had a scarlet letter on it, and it had a lock and everything. We had to kick the shit out of him for it. It was bad. It was bad. And it's like, I totally forgot that.

I had a diary like Anne Frank, and I really, after they found it, I really envied her for a long time. The best part was he was trying to deny it, too, and it's like he signed his name on every page. Yeah, you can't really do that. Yeah. And the worst part is, like, I would try to overcompensate

by, like, thinking that I was really cool in placing, like, a fucking... It's your diary. It was my diary. I would place it out in the open for them to look at. I would put really cool entries in there. So for months we were just getting... Fuck yeah.

I love that three people did worse than any one person here tonight. Triple the horsepower. And perhaps the... I'll give you a ten on the entrance. I'll give you a ten on the entrance. Am I getting this right? Was there one Verzi triplet just waiting backstage the entire time? No, no, no.

He was there. Okay, I missed that. Can I give a specific detail that I think needs to be known for the podcast listeners? So the Verzi triplets came out, and they held up a banner that said, We Love Tony. And the third triplet ran to try to break through the paper. But didn't. Did not break it at all like a football rally.

It was the saddest football rally I've ever seen. He didn't even tear it. He let go of it. That's not my fault. It was like Rudy going through paper and then like, boing! That about sums up our set pretty much. I mean, wow. Did you practice the

entrance at home? Clearly not. They took more time making the sign than doing the material. They literally did. I can tell because I'm so close to it. I can tell that they did that. They wrote those letters with a marker. Yeah, those are markers. Did one of you do that

or did all three of you participate on the ground at the same time like children? And you guys still live with your parents, so did you do that or did all three of you participate on the ground at the same time like children? It was a group project. And you guys still live with your parents, so did you make that at home? Yeah. So you made that at home in the living room and like your parents are walking by and shit. They're like, oh, our boys. On the dinner table.

Totally. They are really curious about you. They have no idea who you are. Because last week they saw you bring a big picture frame with my face in it here. They want you to come to Christmas dinner with us. Can you maybe bring your parents here to see one of the shows some Monday? Then we could interview them too with you guys. We'd have a lot of fun

questions for them. Yeah, we'll try. That sounds like fun, right? They run a construction business we found out. They do. Like appropriate questions for their mom like, what happened to your vagina? Well, thanks, Jeremiah. That was going to be one of the greater moments of it all.

Like, what happened to your vagina after the freedom came out? What did it look like? You really think I don't know what the Verzi Triplets mom's pussy looks like, dude? Come on. All right. That was stupid.

That's why I never do your mom jokes, and that's exactly why. What does your mom's pussy look like, guys? Well, we came out of her stomach. We were C-section, so. Whoa. We took a detour. By the way, I love that you guys have the one Verzi triplet that has a lisp. The one that has, there's only one out of the three that has a lisp.

And for some reason, they always have him say all the S words. And then we were in a secret society. It's just like, what? If only you could have thief-fection that sign. That's exactly what just happened, too. One was like, well, we didn't just happened, too. One was like, well, we didn't exist. And then the other was like, yeah, and... And the other was like, we were thief-fection.

It's always... The one that can't say the S's is always the one left with it. What happened, man? Why do you think you got the lisp? And do you ever think about doing anything about it? I don't know. You have two almost the same exact things as you on flanking you right now

and you have a lisp. Do they have anything weird about them? Maybe. It's this crazy thing. It was so silly. It doesn't work. It's cool. We have to figure out a way

to make you guys really funny. Have you guys all... And you know what I think it is? That was so much better in practice. I think Jeremiah and I sort of maybe have had, maybe had a 10 second talk about this the other night.

Is that if you guys lose your fucking natural cheese that you have, like, there was a time when, that would be a bad analogy. Okay. Yeah, go ahead.

If they lose the vaudeville persona. Just like, like, you could even still come through the fucking Iudeville persona. Just like, whoo! Like, you could even still come through the fucking I love Tony sign. I like that. But, I mean, like, there has to be, like. Perfect example.

And Tony's given you this note before to, like, watch somebody like the Sklar brothers. They're not like, hey, we're twins. Hey, we look the same. One of us has a lisp. I'm not that way. Let me tell you something about looking the same. It's not always the same. And then all of a sudden, I was like.

It's just like you guys are just transferring words. We've said that the first time they were on the show, the second time we were on the show. They're not listening to that. See, I told you Brian hated you guys. Brian's angry, angry, angry. No, I mean, but we finally just boil it. We give the same advice. We told you this a thousand shows ago.

You were just boiling over here. How much said the same advice to the needy? But I will counter with... We know they suck. We're talking about it, Brian. I mean, they definitely suck. We have to give them the same advice because they don't want to change it. But I bet there is. If you drive

it in, look at them. We just need to take... Look, two of them are already... Oh, they just broke again. This one's too goofy them. We just need to take... Look, two of them are already... Oh, they just broke again. This one's too goofy still. But we need to fucking take your guys' spirit. We need to take your soul. We need to see a serious... What if one of them died? I think all...

I think Tate's about to be the executive producer of season one of the Versi triplets. He's so tan. Oh, my God. You know what would be great is if you guys for six months all did separate stand up. You can't be around the same club, but you all have to do

your own mics separately for three months and see what changes. That could work. I have a different idea and I want to experiment with it right now. Instead of trying to be funny and goofy and shit, try to, try to, because you guys are so naturally Mr. Nice Guy. You guys are the fucking triplets, right? Right? And I get it. You have to deal with that all the time, every day. Let's do an exercise

right now that I just thought of right now. And I want you guys to be, like, sort of, like, assholes. Just figure out what's the most asshole-ish, what's the most dickhead-ish thing that you could rant about that sort of would surprise us about you. We know you're good guys. We get it. You just put the ornaments up on Mommy's Christmas tree. We know. We could all picture it.

And you really did. Thank you for those of you that. I mean, you guys are how old? 24. We could all picture it. And you really did. Thank you for those of you that. Like, I mean, you know, you guys are how old? 24. But let's face it. You have the spirit of, like, nine-year-olds for some reason. Right? So let's see.

Like, what's something, like, evil? If we were to deal with, if we were able to hear, like, an evil versi triplet thing that you don't think that we would like or want to know about you like give us fucking what's the most evil thought that you guys have had conversation you guys look how hard they're thinking right now they're like fucking like puppies that just got hit in the head with an aluminum bat just like they have no idea they don't have a single like hateful bone in their body but i'm'm convinced that if you started tapping, if you'd find where that fucking fracking hole is in your brain of evil

and you throw a dash of that in there and you mix it with your fucking Larry Curly and no bullshit that's going on. I don't think so. Let's do it. Most evil shit. You guys want to family feud it? Put your heads together? Think about what the most

fucking evil thing that you guys have ever talked about is? Oh, well, no. Alex and I used to talk about hypothetical baby rape. Alex and I used to talk about the superior systems of society. Super duper sucrose. You guys, your old material used to be

baby rape? No, no, no. Seven knows it once right there. He tried to help. No, you said baby rape though. I'm not talking about material. I'm talking about in real life. What's the most evil shit you guys have talked about?

Raping a baby. Okay, what about it? What were you guys talking about? How does that come up? Why did everybody owe me whenever I repeated what they said? They're like, Jeremiah's really gone off the rails. And they're like, well, we've been talking about baby rape, actually. But what about baby rape? Completely turned on me, you idiots.

I was just repeating what they said. No, I didn't realize. It's back on! I didn't realize what was going on over there. Okay, so what do you mean you talked about... That was a two-word answer. So, you and Alex... Well, yeah, Alex would talk about how he would get away with raping a baby.

How? What? Say it. I can't remember what I said. You can't remember what you said? This is what I'm talking about. He said if this crib comes a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'. Alright. Cool. Wait, do you guys do stand-up

outside of coming to the show? Yeah. How often? Yeah. How often do they have three mics? We usually just yell. Do you guys ever think about going up one by one, like individually? Because I feel like you have a sense of bravery

because the other two are with you, but maybe if you just threw yourself into the fray a little bit and stood alone on the stage, it would be different. Like going up solo? That's a good idea. I used to do it. So like exactly what Red Band said? Alright.

Whoa! Red Band does have good ideas when you listen to them. It's just how you hear it. You get messages from different coaches in different ways. No, totally. Yours was way more inspiring than Red Band's. Yeah. This is the first time Tate has actually gotten angry at you.

It just happened right then. Okay, I have a better version of the thing that I was trying to get out of you guys earlier. I'm going to try this again, a little extraction unit feature here, okay? So I've got this idea. You guys go up separately on stage, okay? You don't have the other two with you. Got it, got it, got it. Anybody that's going to laugh at it is already laughing.

Okay, so here we go. Ready? You really don't have to other two with you. Got it, got it, got it. Anybody that's going to laugh at it is already laughing. Okay, so here we go. Ready? You really don't have to stretch. Okay. Ready for it? Jay's got an idea, I think. Minus. Okay, Jeremiah, please.

Put the fucking mic in the mic stand. Sometimes it's just like, it's just unbelievable. It's like there's got to be some kind of signal. There must be something. There must be something we can do. Meanest thing, worst thing you've ever done to anybody ever. Meanest thing you've ever said, a fight that you've gotten into. Something fucking anything where there's any side that's not just a jolly, smiling, confused little boy.

When I was younger in football, some kid, we called him Vagina Man because he was the biggest pussy on the team. And it wasn't us, believe it or not. And his mom had passed away and whatever. We all used to give him shit. And I said, I'm going to knock you out and then piss on your mom's grave. Yeah. And then what did he say? Nothing.

He was a pussy. He didn't do anything. Wow. Then he knocked him out and pissed on his mom's grave then he knocked him out and pissed on his mom's he pissed on his mom's grave hey can I say something right before you say that can I just say one more thing

I get the feeling that you felt bad for months after saying that to that kid not at the time but then later on whatever as I got older I was like I get the feeling that you felt bad for months after saying that to that kid. Not at the time, but then later on, whatever, as I got older, I was like, oh, fuck, that was kind of a mean thing to say. All right. Jay, go ahead. What I was going to say is if you don't want to change who you are and you're just like, hey, we're good people, we want to be, I guarantee you could get a fucking Disney show, a Nickelodeon show.

You could go on the road and do tons of colleges. Yep. Jim Gaffigan's never said a mean thing. Brian Regan's never said a mean thing. It's a little hokey. You should talk, not perform. Otherwise, do a one-man show. Or go to colleges and be like, do this fucking fun thing with games. And you could do that.

And you could make a ton of money and you wouldn't be a respected comedian, but you'd be you would be I'm not saying you couldn't be like a Gaffigan or something like that, but it's a thing. You guys are a thing. And I completely agree with Jay. I was just saying,

if you want to do something interesting as an exercise in this beginning part of your infantile stage, do something outside of the box for you guys and try a fun set where it's the evil Versi triplets for a night or two.

On that point too, because you're so damn sweet and so likably unlikable is that you could say the meanest fucking things and people are like, this guy just said he wants to rape a baby. It's okay, he said it. I don't move much on stage so during a long set if I end up doing

something where I end up fucking all of a sudden going like that, like, it's like thunder and lightning. Yeah. You know what I mean? I got you. I got a question. Got to mix in different shit no matter what it is, because in a longer set, especially, I mean, people can barely even handle 60 seconds of what you guys do when it's good. It's long. But you know what I mean?

But we're trying to fucking figure out something. No, thank you guys for what I mean? We're trying to fucking figure out something. Thank you guys for... We're trying to figure it out too. Oh no, we know. I know. Clearly. I can't decide whether the S's guy doesn't say S's or if you double down on the S's thing. I think he should lead.

Wait. Good to see you, Sacramento. You ready for some silly seconds? Is the guy that talks like that the one that did the evil thing? No, the one with the list. I didn't know if you believed in comma. That's who

he said it to. He said it to his brother. He's like, hey, that's our mom. Alright. Anything else interesting about you guys that we don't know about yet? Can we talk? You guys that we don't know about yet? Can we talk, do you guys really live at your parents' house? Yeah, we live at home Do you guys have jobs? We work construction together

At their parents' company Do you guys have other siblings? We have an older brother who's 15 months older than us What does he do? He works with us too And you have a sister as well, right? No, no sister Only dudes in your family.

Yeah. I mean, our fucking mom was the only girl we had. I'm still just hearing the story. I mean, it's upsetting. It's terrifying. You ever switch up girls or date the same chick? Good question. Would you want your wife to fuck your brother? Are you guys Eskimo triplets?

I have no idea, but it might be like in high school. You're like, oh, I'll pop back in and be like, what's up? You can just fuck them and not marry them. I'm trying to get the darker version. No, we don't do any of that. No, never? No chick's ever been like...

Everybody's had sex here? That's a valid question. Why do I get the feeling the one with the lisp beats more pussy than the other two does, though? At least pussy. I have to overcompensate. That's a good look, dude. God damn.

All right. There you go. Triple your pleasure, triple your fun. There they go, the Percy triplets. It's late. It's 10.05. I don't know. Do we go. The Versi triplets. It's late. It's 10.05. I don't know. Do we go to the bucket one? Do we want to meet anybody else or you guys want

to go home? Let's do one more. You guys want to go to the bucket one more time? They really don't. It's so funny. The audience actually doesn't. It's funny to hear all the comedians and I'm like, do they really at all? No, not at all. Let's do a quick one. Let's do it quick one. You guys want to do a quick one?

And if it's interesting, then I just saw one girl physically shake her head no on that one. Wow. You can leave if you want, I promise. Alright. I pulled the name out of the bucket. And the name that I pulled out is Sam J. We don't have time to wait, Sam.

Sorry. So it's going to be Josh Sud. Sud? Sud? What's up, you guys? Shit. The other day, a homeless person told me that I look like Amelia Earhart. God damn it. And I was like, dude, I already gave you money.

And he said, suck my dick. And I did. Then I became homeless immediately. Because that's how that works. It's like a pyramid scheme. Like a... God damn it. I wish they would yell like useful shit, you know?

Like, hey man! Brightly colored snakes are usually poisonous! Or like, hey man! Animals that lay eggs don't have belly buttons. Like, how do you know all this? Snapple! Thanks, guys. Fuck yeah, there he goes.

Josh sued. Am I saying that right? Sued? Yes, sued. Now there was a part of that set where he definitely bailed out and started sucking dicks, right? Am I right? Am I the only one that noticed it that time, too? Is this a prank show on me or something like that? So I sucked his dick.

That's fun. You're one of my favorite... You are one of the funniest magician figure skaters that we've ever had on the show. Let me tell you that first of all, because I know you do both. You're one of the few guys that does magic while ice skating and backwards at the same time. No. Yes.

Do you know some magic tricks? I used to when I was like a little kid. My mom did graphic design for a magician so I got free books and I would fuck with it. Do you play an instrument? Not well. Do you read hot chicks to bed at night? Like books? No.

What do you do for work? Nothing. Right now. What's the last thing you did? I worked at do you do for work? Nothing right now. What's the last thing you did? I worked at the Genius Bar for Apple. Whoa, that's cool. But you don't anymore. How'd that end? I actually started doing stand-up and shit.

That is not a genius move whatsoever. Do they drug test at the genius bar? Apple in general doesn't drug test. Oh, that's great. Steve Jobs was a huge hippie. Yeah, he did a lot of LSD. Is that right? Yeah.

Teach us a secret about the Apple store that we might not know. God, and this is being videotaped? Jesus. Just turn around so they can't see. You don't work there anymore. and this is being videotaped? Jesus. Just turn around so they can't see. You don't work there anymore. Brian's accidentally hilarious.

It's the greatest thing in the world. I might be trying to go back eventually. Really? Yeah, I need to find some kind of stable income. What did you think was going to happen? That you were just going to make it immediately? Like doing stand-up? You just gave it all up?

Like, fuck you, Apple. I'm going to be a stand-up comedian tomorrow. And goodbye. Fucking idiots. Why don't you guys go chase your fucking dreams? You're just back a week later like, ah, guys. My iPhone's cracked and I need your help. Please take me back.

It's me, Josh. Sood. I was doing artwork at the time, too, and I had some, like, a couple of... Oh, another shirt not paid job. Great. Oh, well, in that case, since you were drawing paintings. No, go ahead. So I sold a few.

I feel like you have, like,el and you do it naked at night with hot tea or something like that. You have an interesting look to you. I know you're into some fucking weird shit, man. Am I right? It was digital. Oh, really? That's not how I pictured it at all.

I pictured you slapping paint around and dancing like the Joker in that weird Batman scene that basically half almost ruined that Batman that was the best Batman, but there's one scene where they like the Joker in that weird Batman scene that basically half almost ruined that Batman that was the best Batman, but there's one scene where they made the Joker look like an idiot. Did you use the Apple Pencil?

Is that what you used, the Apple Pencil? Uh, no. That's sincere. Is that a weird, creepy dick joke that you're trying to squeeze in there? How do you not know there's an Apple Pencil? How long ago did you... It was over a year.

Oh my god, the Apple Pencil's been out over a year. Oh, I do know. It's like the white... They're not going to take you back, man. Yeah, there's no way you're getting that job, Josh. Get on your game, bro. You've been struggling now all of a sudden? What's that? You're struggling financially a little bit now?

A little bit. How long have you lived in LA? I was born here. How old are you? 28 struggling financially a little bit now? A little bit. It's part of it. How long have you lived in L.A.? I was born here. How old are you? 28. 28. What tattoos do you have? No tattoos.

No tattoos. I was thinking dolphin the whole way. You do yoga? I have. I haven't recently. You ate granola today? Have you ever been healed by a crystal? Did you eat granola today?

No. God damn it. How am I wrong on everything about this guy? How often do you get mistaken for one of the Twilight vampires? Every day. Is the moon in retrograde? Yes or no? What?

That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. What are you into? What are some of your hobbies, fun things? When you're not your alter ego. Goatier. One guy remembers Goatier.

There you go. What are some things you're into? You're watching the extended scenes of Kill Tony. Wow, Jeremiah. Look out. Filling in for Pat, well, for lighting the show on fire this week. It's back on!

Go ahead, Josh. I got sober five months ago, so I'm still trying to figure out what I even enjoy doing. Oh, that's what it was. Now I got it. Man, so what kind of fun were you having, man? Let's get into it. Let's talk about it.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Let's have some fun. Big Coke guy. Big Coke guy, for sure. There's no doubt about that. People snorting everything out of your asshole. Snorting it off the iPad. He looks like a toad licker.

Yeah, a bunch of old apple shit around everywhere. Cocaine all over it. I immediately regret bringing that up. Well, I mean, you really agreed to everything. Pandora's box has been opened. Reveal all of your secrets.

Coolest drug. Favorite drug. Favorite drug. Heroin. I mean, weed. Weed was great. I still am on the... Pussy! For those of you watching from the Apple Corporation, weed is great. What's your joking favorite drug?

Do one of those drug jokes. Do one of those jokey poos. What's your favorite drug? And we'll all laugh when you say it. Molly's fun. Molly's a good time. I never did any

hard shit. I hate all word ones. Anyway. So the booze is basically what was holding you down. Yeah, that was like Pandora's box. Once you have a few drinks, then it was like... What was your favorite drink? Oh, you like stealing.

I just liked IPAs and then... The IPAs got you? Yeah. Well, no. Fucking my whiteness, man, just crushed me. Were you stealing? What were you doing? You were doing something.

No, I would just do really dumb shit once I got drunk. Like when I was 16, once I woke up inside Six Flags Magic Mountain, like at 4 o'clock in the morning. Dude, that's fucking baller. Talk about that on stage. That's awesome. You should talk about that. You woke up inside of the park? You fire up any of the rides or anything? I was dressed as a referee.

It was on Halloween when I was 16 years old and I woke up confused. Did you just stay there and wait for it to open? I found a security guard and was like, dude, is there a bus that comes around here? Because I was super confused, and he was like, how did you get in here? And I was like, I don't know, man.

Wow. And I was dressed as a referee because I worked at Foot Locker, and it was Halloween. I just wore my uniform. Holy shit. How long did you work at Foot Locker? Like six months or something.

All right. Got that uni, though. Holy shit. How long did you work at Foot Locker? Like six months or something. Got that uni though. Anything else, Josh? Any questions for us or anything? How long have you been on stand-up? Almost a year. About a year. Almost a year.

All of it here in LA because you're from here. How long have you been out of Apple? Nothing to laugh at there, sir. Like just over a year, year and a half. So you've been unemployed for a year, just doing stand-up. I worked at a vegan bakery for a while under the table. Oh, jeez. That's what it is. God damn it.

We were so close. What did they pay you in? Just Bitcoin? Alright, Josh, we gotta go. That's the end of the night. Josh sued everybody. He's on Twitter at the Josh sued. We did it!

Another episode of Kill Tony. Yibbity-yabbity-jibbity-jabbity. Thank you, live audience. Oh wait, San Francisco Sketch Fest, Moon Tower, what are you guys plugging? Crab Feast You know you gotta listen to the Crab Feast Jay Larson

Crab Feast Podcast every Tuesday Ryan Sickler, Jay Larson Comes out tomorrow Great show Download it if you don't listen If you haven't listened to an episode before And you're a big Keltoni fan Why not go back and listen to the Tony Hinchcliffe episode

Great episode Do a little gateway drug Let yourself right into the crab feast because they're doing great stuff. Tate, you're in everything. Pirate Life Radio, you can catch up on stuff. Caveman Coffee stuff. Whatever, whatever.

And a fucking ton of great films. You're one of my favorite faces to see on my television screen and movie screens. Tate Fletcher, everybody, being one of the first ever actors, other than Rowdy Roddy Piper and shit to be on our panel. Excited about that. Jeremiah Watkins is on Twitter and stuff.

Go ahead, Jeremiah. Hey, guys, reach out to me on social media. He's really lonely. At Jeremiah Stand Up. And then Roast Battle is on Sundays in January, so tune back in to Roast Battle. Yeah, we're super excited. On Comedy Central. On Comedy Central.

On Comedy Central. This is January Sunday. Every Sunday, and then the last weekend of the month is the four-night tournament event. And then at Mostly Sorry for Joel Jimenez on social media. Look how awesome this drawing is from Ryan J. Ebel, ladies and gentlemen. Tony's bent over a barrel of hay or something. Yeah, why is this? Hey, hay or something. Yeah, why... Hey, wait a second. Hey, what am I

doing? You got one minute to finish off on me. I like that. Look at Brian making fun of somebody's beautiful art. BrianJEbelt.com. He has the Kill Tony poster. He draws every episode. I have the Kill Tony poster up in my living room. I don't see why you guys don't

get a little poster. Go get it framed. How many pictures of your face are in your living room right now? A lot. A lot of them. And actually I'm planning on doing a photo shoot and I'm going to fill my entire apartment up with pictures of myself. Something I realized I'm going to do. It's going to be really funny. Some of me doing certain things.

Big pictures of me. Nice frames. It's going to be good. Live audience, I thank you very much. There's a pictures of me. Nice frames. It's going to be good. Live audience, I thank you very much. There's a lot of dates that I have them doing stand-up coming up if you're listening to the podcast. Calgary, Dallas, San Antonio, Corpus Christi,

a bunch of other places. Chicago, coming back to Zany's in a couple months. That's a really big deal. So, get tickets at TonyHinchcliffe.com. I sort of like how this is like a really nice mellow ending right now. Thank you, live audience, for coming out.

Have a great night. Thank you. I told him how I'd lost it all He shook his head For a while I couldn't play my guitar like a man I would have done anything to see you again Mama said you were gone for good. And I'm the duck you want. For a while I couldn't play my guitar like a man. Thank you.