KILL TONY - KILL TONY #212

Episode Date: May 23, 2017

Pauly Shore, Daniel Van Kirk, Ali Macofsky, Pat Regan, Josh Martin, Joel Jimenez, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - Date: 05/15/2017 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Order up for Rebelsis. Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony. This is a podcast we do live every Monday at the World Famous Comedy Store at 8 o'clock. It's a free show. You can go to DeathSquad.tv and click on Tour Dates for all the information. You can also find out all the other shows that we do around town and near you. We have a show every second and fourth Wednesday at the Laugh Factory. This Wednesday, actually, we have Joe Rogan and Sal from Impractical Jokers and Louis J. Gomez from Legion of Skanks. A bunch of people. That's this Wednesday

at the Laugh Factory, March 24th or May 24th. Every first and third Friday we're at the Ice House in Pasadena, California. And this just in, we have Toronto date. Yes, that's right. Toronto. We are coming to you

Death Squad with Ian Edwards, Dean Deloray, Sam Tripoli, and myself. We're going to be at the Queen Elizabeth Theater July 27th. Just go to DeathSquad.tv for all the information on all the shows we do here at Death Squad. Don't forget TonyHinchcliffe.com. Tony has a bunch of dates.

He has this Monster Energy Tour. He's going on the road. It's going to be a big deal. Check it out. Tony just dropped like 10 different dates. Just go to TonyHinchcliffe.com. He's playing all over the road. It's going to be a big deal. Check it out. Tony just dropped like 10 different dates. Just go to TonyHinchcliffe.com. He's playing all over the place. Also, Ryan J. E-Belt. He's the house artist. He draws every episode and sells prints of the episodes. He also has the new Kill Tony poster that he just released. Go to RyanJE-Belt.com. And ShopSquad.tv. That's the

official merchandise of the Death Squad universe. We got some hats left. Look for a brand new shirt to be announced very, very soon. Go to shopsquad.tv. All the money that we make from that goes into buying new shit for these podcasts. This episode alone, my iPad died and one of my cameras died five minutes before the show. So shopsquad.tv helps me buy and fix these things. My iPad died and one of my cameras died five minutes before the show. So shop squad dot TV helps me buy and fix these things.

So guys strap in. Here's a brand new episode of kill Tony. Hey, this is Ray Van coming to you live from the real famous comedy store for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Here's Tony Hinspeth. Hi, everybody. Welcome. Hello. Keep it going for Brian Red Band in the house. Fucking we're all here. Happy Monday.

Brian J. E. Buff is here drawing tonight's episode. We're going to do the Kill Tony poster. You guys ready to have a crazy fucking night or what? Come on, you can do better than that. You guys ready to blow off on this Monday night? That was still only half decent, but I'll accept it. We have so much fun stuff going on.

A ton of it. A butt ton of it in our other lives as stand-up comedians. I'm doing the Monster Energy Outbreak Tour. That means that I'm going to rock venues and theaters the entire month of August continuously doing my own shows.

It's insane. My friends over at Monster Energy Drink decided to put me on tour. So how cool is that? So check out those dates. All tickets go on sale this Wednesday. Red Band. Hey. How's life going? Great, those dates. All tickets go on sale this Wednesday. Red band. Hey.

How's life going? Great, man. Had a camera and an iPod just break right before the show. I love it. So I'm DJ iPhone tonight. There we go. Technical difficulties are amongst us. That's always fun. What do you say we bring up tonight's guest? I'm down for that.

You guys like some of the funniest comedians in the world? People that I love? Put your hands together for the great Daniel Van Kirk and Pauly Shore! Yeah! Yeah! Come on, Pauly Shore and Daniel Van Kirk. Hey, everybody. On a special cool post-Mother's Day episode,

the son of the owner of this building, the great Mitzi Shore, Pauly Shore, is amongst us. The second time on the show, the new Crackle Show, Pauly Shore podcast. Yes, it's on Crackle right now. I don't know if you know this. There's going to be a poll in the middle of the room pretty soon. We're going to be doing strippers on – what day did you say you wanted to do it? Tuesdays?

This is whatever you want. Yes. I remember – can I just do a little history of this room really quick? Because when I come in this room, I feel a little history. Let's hear it. There used to be this gay dude that used to sit over there. His name was Falstaff. And he was this openly gay host guy.

And comedians used to come up here, and they would have to blow him to get stage time. Wow. Back in the 80s. It was pretty cool. The good old days. I blew him a couple times. You did?

You did. Your mom owns the club, Paulie. Yeah, but I like to blow fat, chubby gay dudes sometimes just to do it. For those of you that don't know, I don't know how you wouldn't know this. If this is your first experience in live comedy, then maybe... Why is this guy writing shit? What the fuck are you writing, bro? Oh, Paulie, the guy's drawing tonight's episode while we all sit here being lazy.

He's a... Courtroom artist. He's performing actual art. For those of you that have been hiding under a rock and know nothing about comedy, Pauly Shore, on a special shout-out on post-Mother's Day, killed Tony.

His mom is Mitzi Shore, literally the queen of all of comedy. Built this place, every room in it way back, 1972. This was the room I don't know if you guys know, this is the room, the belly room is the room that Whoopi Goldberg got discovered by Steven Spielberg

for the movie Color Purple. Steven Spielberg was sitting right up there blowing pasta. The next Steven Spielberg might be right up there Blowing pasta And who knows, the next Steven Spielberg Might be sitting up there right now Wait a second, no, that's Aphrodite Sitting there instead One of our favorite characters

I've never heard of that It's an awesome room I'm excited Thanks for having us We're a team, we're going on the road now I love it Daniel Van Kirk, I absolutely love your work with the Sklar brothers.

Thank you. What's going on? Cocktails are being served. Look at this. Where's my soda? Yeah, the Sklars and I have a... Oh, that's cool. Another thing definitely worth mentioning is that a lot, a ton of our friends on a show that's

pretty much loosely based on the story of this club and all of comedy a lot of our friends wrote for and are starring in Showtime's new show I'm dying up here and that's coming out June 4th I'm showtime yeah I have a couple comments about that show yeah yes it's about it's based on the club and my mom so I mean I think I would know the fucking real story. Whoa. But I'm not going to say it because that's another show we'll talk about. This is about bringing up the other comedians. I love that.

Thank you, Pauly. I was just getting to that. I love that. We also have a band. Have you been on the show since we had a band? Was it a robot last time you were on? I think this is your 210th show, correct? 211? 212.

212. I was on your sixth show. Is that true? That's long since I've been on-12? I was on your sixth show. Is that true? That's long since I've been on the show. I was on number six. Well, Pauly, it feels like yesterday. Yeah. You guys ready to meet the band?

Every single week, the band comes out, and they do different characters sometimes. They commit sometimes throughout an entire episode. Put your hands together for the Kill Tony band tonight. It is Pat Reagan and Joel Jimenez. Reagan and Jimenez. Oh, shit. It feels like it's very reggae.

Oh. Pot dealers. He just came. Wow. You guys are like from Jamaica? Jobless, jobless. Wow. I love this.

I just came from Deans up north. We forgot our wigs at home, man. We had to improvise in the back. Wow. It looks like you stuck veggie fries into your hat. That's what it is. Necessity is the mother of invention. Quick shout out to Pauly Shore.

Huge fan of BioDoll, man. Thank you very much. Thank you. You guys just got that down there in Jamaica, huh? Oh, yeah. Shout out to the Jamaican bobsled team as well, man. My lucky egg. No Jeremiah Watkins this week.

I love this setup that you guys have. Joel Jimenez is on the standing stool. Oh, yeah. Jeremiah is by the rivers of Babylon, man. I love, it's always amazing to me how you guys are able to drag these characters out. It's going to be interesting to see how these reggae gentlemen develop

throughout an hour and a half long show. Dude, I love reggae, authentic reggae, you know, like sublime, slightly stupid, no doubt. See, that, for example, that's like three more references that he just lost right there. You know what I'm saying? Yellow man.

Four. Put your hands together for the great Josh Martin. Josh. Running around. I love it. You know what, Josh? I love it drink too. Everybody seems to be letting it rip tonight, so let's fucking do it.

I am now going to explain the show very quickly. If you guys aren't fucking idiots and you don't know what goes on here, a bunch of people sign up for the show, people that want to get pulled out of a bucket and perform for 60 seconds in front of you, in front of us. Maybe find out something about themselves.

Maybe we learn about them. You just go from being a performer to a guest on the show in 60 seconds. Wow! You know your 60 seconds is up when you hear the sound of a kitty. That means wrap it up then or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. That's how

it works. You don't want to hear that thing or you fucked up. You guys ready to start the show or what? All the pieces are in place. This is episode 212 of Kill Tony. Celebrating its four year anniversary this June here at the Comedy Store.

Alright. First name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Tim McGorry. Do you really want to Tim McGorry. Here he comes. Tim McGorry, everyone. Come on. The microphone's not working. We got to fix the mic.

I can project. There we go, yeah. Put your hands together for Tim McGorry, everyone. Positivity. go, yeah. Put your hands together for Tim McGorry, everyone. Positivity. Thanks, guys. Been working on a lot of subversive dick jokes recently. Things you don't see coming, like when ghosts fuck. Thank you for laughing at that well-placed joke.

The 50 Shades of Grey sequel just got released on Blu-ray this week. I'm not sure what that is. I smoke a lot of weed. I thought 50 Shades of Grey was about the guy who invented the color printer. Another solid, strong effort from this old guy. Yeah. Good Lord. Suddenly the mind went blank. Was not expecting it to get up. Yeah, you know. Jesus Christ. I'm totally farting right now. Trying to remember some dumb shit from my act. Oh, I'm halfway through season five

of Mad Men. Anyone watch Mad Men still? Halfway through season five. I don't know much about American history. But I think this Bobby Kenny guy's got to shout out the nomination. That's what you were trying to remember that whole time? Is that one? Tim, that was

a beautiful disaster. Thank you, Tony. Now I know what 311 was talking about all this time. Just trying to come original, man. Just trying to come original. Oh, you guys, that was a shout out for my reggae friends over there. By the way, that's another reference they just lost. That was going to come later on.

Authentic reggae. Authentic. 311. Tim, what's up, bud? What went wrong there? You said you weren't expecting to get up. So many things. Yeah, I was like, I usually come and sign up,

and I never get called. So off the gate, off the jump, I was like, eh. I wrote a shitty Postmates joke. I was like, maybe I'll lead with that. But it was still. There are many things that could be said about what went wrong. Did you do the shitty Postmates joke? No, I did not.

What's that? Go ahead. Do it. What is it? I haven't had a smartphone for years. Is Postmates when you get a handjob? Yeah, the guy that invented the printer? Yeah.

Is Postmates when you get a handjob from an Australian mailman? Postmates. Appropriate sound effects. That's barely a joke, man. I do agree with that. Yes. I do agree with that. Yes. I do agree with that. Tim, how long have you been on stand-up?

Oh, this is going to be... I'm going to start lying about this. My first show was 11 years ago. Oh, man. When was your second show? Tonight? Hey-oh. Yeah.

Well, I mean, yes. There were some positives. I just wish you would have kept doing what you were doing. No, because, you know, things weren't landing how you wanted them to. But you, I mean, you regrouped and re-found it. We're not going to, like, pretend that it went where you wanted it to go when you found it. But I'll give you that. And I think that if you could just say to yourself at the end of the day, like, I put myself out there and I went on stage and I signed up for something that I didn't really, wasn't prepared to do.

11 years, but wasn't prepared to do. One minute. One minute. 60 seconds. 11 years. No, but I'll give you that, man. You had to do. One minute. One minute. 60 seconds. 11 years. No, but I'll give you that, man. You had to re-find it, and you did. Thanks.

I'm really trying to not be mean. No, be mean. You can be mean. You can say anything you want. What you found wasn't good. But that's okay. You still like that shitty feeling of like, what the, where the fuck was I? So I, I'm glad you were able to get back to it.

I just wish what you had gotten back to was worth it. Pauly Shore, you were born and raised in this club. Like, I mean, basically. Yeah. He could probably get a spot here.

A false step was here and he could blow. If possible, the joke, the joke suck. That's what I'm saying. You did pretty good. But the thing that I did like about him is I always like when a stand-up goes on stage and something doesn't work and they admit that it's not working.

So that's cool. You did acknowledge it well. You acknowledged the fact that you were eating shit, which is good. There's 11 years of precedent there, so there's a lot to say. Well, what else have you been doing over that 11 years? Where did you start at? I started from New York. Started on Long Island doing shows like Open Mic's out there.

How long did you do it in New York? I did it in New York. Pops was sick for a while. Pops was sick? Pops was sick. We tried to find the time we could for comedy. Put family responsibilities before personal career Pops was sick

Had the cancer But no, I did it for like Went to UCB You should have brought that up in your 60 seconds Would have really lightened the mood Worked Eastville I don't know, I was at Eastville a lot Other clubs

And then when did you come out here? Came out here four years ago Got a production job Editing and doing punch-ups. He's an editor. He can work here. He can help you with the videos, bro. Anytime, baby.

I'm just telling you. I got Premiere on deck, man. How many years experience do you have video editing? I started in high school, so I'm 31 now. Are you Final Cut or are you Premiere? It's gone downhill since 7. Windows Movie Milkmaker. Premiere is better. Can I say also, I felt like... Send downhill since seven. Windows movie milk maker. That premieres better.

Can I say also, I felt like. Send me your reel. Anyways, go on. I mean, anything that works for a stand up, you know, if it works, it works. But it kind of felt like to me that your jokes were a little bit more like tweets. Yeah, you might. They were like stand up jokes. There wasn't like a full premise.

Let me put it this way. Fuck those jokes. Let's go back to your time. That works. Let's go back to your time. So how long was New York exactly? New York was like when – Ballpark.

Yeah, it was like seven years. So then where did you go? Ballpark. So you've been here for – Before, yeah. And have you been doing stand-up for those four years? I've been doing stand-up. The first year was kind of light,

sort of dipping my toes back into it because the last five, six months I wasn't doing as many shows out in New York. And then about for the last two and a half years, I've been hitting mics every night. Last two years. What else do you do? What do you do for fun?

Not, I don't know. Go to a movie. Edits. Yeah. You ever cut movie. Edits. You ever cut yourself? Well said. Probably. I also work in a marijuana co-op.

Yeah, man. And that's when the band got on board. I love your act, man. You're going places. Here you go, guys. There's some vape heads for you. Oh, shit, I like this guy even more. Wait a second, is that an actual Ziploc bag? Yeah.

Wow. Ziploc bag with two... What kind of co-op are you... Whose apartment are you running this co-op out of? Who has an actual Ziploc bag of pot? Is that a special strand from 1994? No, it's a special strand called Pops is Sick. All one word, all lowercase.

Tim, what's your love life like for an editor that likes to go to a movie once in a while? It's going good. It's all right. Some girls in my life. Yeah? Yeah, it's alright. You consider yourself a player?

No, man. Just crush a lot? No, I... Music. No, it's like... There's this thing where when most nights... I don't want to do a highfalutin shit, but most nights when you're doing stand-up

and you're around other female stand-up comedians like really you're like trying not you're trying not to like hit on them and trying to give them like the creative space to do what they got to do so it doesn't that doesn't really come first like most nights it comes like fourth or fifth i live in west hollywood uh right now i thought you were gonna say that doesn't come first. I do. Who do you live with? My buddy G right now. I'm moving down to a place off, what is it, Santa Monica? G? Like G Love and

Special Sauce? Yes, G Love. G-Easy. Can I give you just friendly advice? You can take it or leave it. Sure, go ahead, bud. The last two questions Paul asked you, you included the words right now. Never do that in any answer. Nothing is going good for anybody who caveats it with right now.

Where am I living? Right now? See, there you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As opposed to tomorrow? Yeah, like, hey, are you still in med school? Actually, right now, I'm not in med school. That's a solid point.

What does G do for a living? Are you and Sarah still together? Actually, right now, we're not together. I wasn't listening, but it sounded funny. He works for the production company. What does he do? He's a photographer, director of photography. Does like remote stuff.

Very cool. What ethnicity is G? Puerto Rican very angry person what's it like living with a Puerto Rican what's the difference between living with loud there's never any like really is that a Puerto Rican thing a whip

fun text like that's usually complaining about like the amount of water on the water bill and it's like every time you take a shit you gotta turn the nozzle off. Is that your Puerto Rican accent you just said? Apparently. Every time I take a shit, I turn the nozzle off. I used to live with two

Puerto Ricans. Does your whole place smell like their food? No, we... I feel like your whole place smells like your food by the looks of you. Eggs and ketchup. Eggs and ketchup. Eggs and ketchup? Right now.

Terrible. Eggs, eggs, ketchup, and eggs. Right now, what am I eating for breakfast? Not happening. Right now, I'm actually eating a lot of eggs and ketchup. I mean, I like other foods. If you have the potatoes next to the eggs, then the ketchup's okay as long as the...

Right? Yeah, that normalizes it. If you have potatoes... We need a starch. Do you have a starch in your diet? Yeah, there's plenty of starch. Can I be just straight straight? How serious are you taking comedy?

I take it very seriously. Really? I take it very seriously Really? I take it very seriously Alright That's not good, man That's not good, man So do you work the small room at Flappers? Yeah

Okay, then you're not taking it that seriously I'm just kidding No, we like that Well, Tim, it was nice meeting you Go regroup and don't fear the – come back. Yeah. Let's see what 60 seconds of 11 years looks like next time. Bring it together for Tim McGorry, everybody.

There he goes. He's on Twitter at MCGorry, G-O-R-R-Y-S-Q-U-E, McGorry S. That's an interesting Twitter handle. So are we supposed to comment after Or you just keep moving No we just keep moving I guess you could ask that question Do we comment now

Did you have something you wanted to say I don't think he's telling the truth About he takes it very serious I think he fucking is not taking it serious You know what That brings up a good point. We should have a lie detector. Wouldn't that be a fun thing to add

to this show? Like an actual... Is there a way to do that? They must have something. Or just go on Craigslist and find some shitty person who thinks like, oh, I'm a professional body language reader. Yeah, hire a mentalist. Find them off Craigslist specifically.

Can I say something for a sec? Because this show is, I mean, can I, because I'm not on it all the time, obviously, and you're judging other people pretty much, right? I mean, you're commenting on them. Not really, but they sort of, that's not really the way I look at it. We're just sort of talking about what just happened.

But I'm trying to bring my mom into this. Okay, go ahead. Okay, that's where my come from is. See, there's no one here running the comedy store. These guys run the fucking comedy store. Not really. I'd have better spots if I ran the comedy store, Pauly, but go ahead.

I would have spots. Well, the people, Adam, Eget, Eric, right? And all the other people. They all do a great job, by the way. There's no Mitzi Shore here anymore. There used to be a Mitzi Shore here. There used to be someone that would develop the comedians, Roseanne, great job, There's no Mitzi Shore here anymore. There used to be a Mitzi Shore here. There used to be someone that would develop the comedians,

Roseanne, all these. There's no one here developing, so this place is just like, so you're pretty much Mitzi Shore. Pretty much. Well, I mean, not really. Give me a spot. Give me a spot, Tony.

Give me a spot. That's not true. I mean, there's no one that really, is Adam doing it? Of course. What are you talking about? I mean, yeah. Come talk that really... Is Adam doing it? Of course. What are you talking about? Really? Yeah.

Come talk to me after you're set up. Listen, does Adam sit that long as you do? Adam has done this show. Adam was a guest on this show, I believe. But does he do it downstairs? What are you asking me? When the different comedians come up on stage. Does he do what?

Here, Brian, what? Does he do what? Are you talking about development spots? I'm going to answer the question that he asked me. Yeah, developing comedians come up on stage. Does he do what? Here, Brian, what? Does he do what? Are you talking about development spots? I'm going to answer the question that he asked me. Yeah, developing comedians. Yeah, I've done five development spots, and then I got fired from doing development spots not once. Not cool, bro.

Then you have to say so. You should be downstairs with Adam. That's all I'm saying. That doesn't make any sense, Pauly. I'm one of the top young rising comedians in the world. I'm not going to go run the... We can bring Falstaff into it, Perry. Possibly.

The first development page is through me, Falstaff. He was amazing. He had elephant Titus legs. It was awesome. And he used to wear shorts all the time. He used to sit right there and play the fucking piano and he used to fucking make guys blow him he used to sit right there and play the fucking piano and he used to fucking make guys blow him for stage time it was the best

could he give it out? could he give stage time? yes you know how the commissary gives you this room to pretty much do whatever you want that's how it was with him it was the best I pulled another name out of the bucket you guys ready to meet another comedian?

Falstaff I pulled another name out of the bucket. You guys ready to meet another comedian? Foster, Foster. Put your hands together for Preacher Lawson, everyone. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. I was watching TV the other day, and I was seeing this dude on Oprah. He has a Guinness World Record for the fastest claps per second, which is pretty stupid.

How do you find that out? It's a little weird. And he does 17 claps per second, y'all. One 1,000. That is 17 claps. I got a question. How do you find out that you're the fastest clapper in the world? How do you figure that out?

You just had a track meet? You're just cheering on your niece? Run, Kathy! Come on! Come on, Kathy! Linda! Get the camera, Linda! I bet you didn't love me at camp, right?

I can't start a fire! Don't even worry about it, Kathy! Get the sticks, Linda. That's my time. My name is Preacher Lawson. Boom. He did it again. Preacher Lawson. He smells good. Thank you, man.

You smell good, bro. I appreciate it. Is there anything better in the world than a fist bump hand grab? So dope. Preacher, you've been on the show a few times, and every single time you absolutely kill. It's basically a big running joke.

It's always in your amazing tone and energy and voice. How do you even find out about somebody clapping 17 seconds? I was watching Oprah with my mom when I was 17. Wow, double 17s on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. And it was kind of weird. I was like, bro, what are you? Because you know he warmed up in the...

Now I feel like you're sort of lying about the story. No, I'm kidding. But I was 17. I was watching Oprah with my grandma. And I just seen it. That was it. You've been actually doing really good. You've been doing college tours, I heard, lately. You've been on the road a lot.

You've been blowing the fuck up, man. And I'm very proud of you. Thank you, bro. I appreciate it. How long have you been doing stand-up again? I hit eight years this year. All right. So you're killing it. You're taking over, just like we said that you would and knew that you would. How long have you been in stand-up again? I hit eight years this year. All right. So you're killing it.

You're taking over just like we said that you would and knew that you would. How long have you been in L.A. now? A year. Right. And since that year, you were immediately on this show. You've been on a few times. Always a new minute. Always crushing.

Y'all got me like 400 Twitter followers. I appreciate it. Yeah. Look at that. You got you that, buddy. I just hope you can get it up to 420, man. Not everybody gets the 400 followers. You did a lot of that work, creature.

So I guess my question is this. You're doing good. You're making some money. You're doing stand-up comedy. What's going on in your personal life that's interesting or different? Oh, man, nothing really. I mean, I got a girlfriend we've been talking for. Remember the girl that we broke up and then we

didn't, she didn't. Sort of. I remember. Do you remember that? Yeah. Oh, yeah, when she broke up with me or whatever. I tried to play that like, well, if you do it this way, then we ain't talking anymore. And she was like, alright. And I'm like, no. And I went, I didn't think she was going to do it, but then she left for real.

And I was like, so we got back together and then we've been together for like since August. Does she taste different now that she's back? she left for real. And I was like, so we got back together, and then we've been together since August. Does she taste different now that she's back? Y'all, man, I was thinking. I was like, this is so weird. This is not hot sauce anymore. You can say or do anything, and it's funny is what I'm figuring out.

You can say or do anything. You should be the... If you had to tell me that I had cancer, how would you do it? I want to see... He'd laugh first. Woo! Tony, you're about to die!

I'm laughing. Boom. That's what I'm talking about. Yo, yo. He's got to go... I felt so bad. That was funny for like five seconds and I thought about what I just said.

That's what happens when a fucking writer meets up with an actual performer. Are you getting development spots here at all? Have you been offered this at all? Isn't that crazy? This is my only development spot here. They put me last on the potluck tonight, so that's pretty cool. That's good.

That's a good spot. That's a highly respected spot. That means they're respected by your peers. Yeah, how much time do you have out on the road? How much time do you do? I mean, I usually, when I do college, about an hour. You do an hour? Yeah.

That's a lot of fucking time. Yeah, and he's high energy, too. By the end, he's a lot of time. Do you open for guys? Are you featured? Do you feature? You know what? Todd Berry. I did Stand Up and Launch a Man a couple weeks ago.

There you go. Yeah. I thought you said wherever they pay you. Yeah, I didn't get paid, but I was trying out new jokes, and then they were open. Preacher, I would love to give you a spot Friday at the Death Squad show at the Ice House. Whoa, look at that.

You know what? You're right. I sort of wasn't thinking about this when you were saying that, Paulie. I'm at the madhouse. Oh, fuck off then. Well, what about next week? The next one. I'll tell Brian he has cancer.

Okay. You bet that I can. And I guess that goes worth mentioning. When you do say the Mitzi Shore thing, one awesome thing that I guess I don't ever give a shout-out enough is to Brian giving a lot of people spots regularly at the Ice House over the last few years. So that's a really awesome thing.

If anybody is really honestly developing people, it's him. Those shows on Friday nights at the Ice House, the Fang Chows before they work here. The Jerons. The Hormoses. All those guys. The Joelbergs. Joelberg's been hitting almost all of my shows.

What about Rene Lancaster? I think he's done this show. It's forgettable. I don't know why you would bring him up. That's Josh Martin's favorite guy. Josh Martin's favorite guy. Josh Martin's favorite guy. Let's put that on record that Josh Martin's favorite guy is Rene Lancaster. Can somebody write that down for me? Preacher, if, let's say that, let's say, okay.

All right. All right. Let's say that you just found out that... I'm trying to think of what the fucking worst possible... I got one. Yeah, go ahead. You got to tell my grandmother she's got to go. You're deporting my grandmother. Yes.

You have to deport Joel's Mexican grandmother. I have to deport your Mexican grandmother? You come to the door. Is she going to come over illegally? I'm not going to confirm or deny any of this. I'm saying hypothetically. Also, don't hit the mic stand so hard. I was going to kick the mic stand at his grandma.

You can still do it, but it doesn't have to be so violent. He really does have a good point. It's a distraction. You're such a great performer that you doesn't have to be so violent. He really does have a good point. It's a distraction. You're such a great performer that you don't need to do that. That's a habit that I feel like people that are mellow, that are using it for a thing, use more. I think you really don't need it. It just takes away.

And especially on a show like this where it's very much audio-based, hundreds of thousands of downloads. And I have to buy new microphones. Oh, yeah, there's that part. But, yeah. I deport my grandma. It is things that sometimes people lean on. Deport his grandma, yo.

So go for it. I'm going to kick the mic. You guys know the punchline. Well, you can still do it, but you don't have to, you can, like, moment and shit. I want to see you, like, walk into the room sort of. You know what I mean? Like, you're just like –

Like, kick it. Like, I can still kick it, though, right? Wait a second. What are you doing? Wait, what's going on? Don't do – I was talking – okay, stop whatever you're doing with Pauly. No, I don't know what's going on there. Don't stop doing it.

Deport Joel's grandma. Okay. Wee! I don't know. There she goes. That was good. Preacher, you're an unstoppable beast. I love guys like you coming on this show

and, you know, not being above anything and coming in and wrecking the house. There he goes, Preacher Lawson, everybody. He's on Twitter at Preacher Lawson. I mean, that's blatantly a star of the future. You understand. People like that don't just not fucking make it. One more time for Preacher.

Come on. It's not easy, people. Watch all these slouchy, lazy fucks come up here and try to deliver jokes after that. He did smell good, though. Whoa, we forgot to ask him if he's taking it seriously or not. Now we'll never know.

DVK. I'm loving this. Alright, this looks like a new name. Put your hands together for... Is this real? Put your hands together for Kevin Budke. Thank you. I don't know if you guys noticed. Famous guys are now wearing Gucci purses.

Yeah. Russell Westbrook, LeBron James, Drake. So at least the famous black guys. Wow. Black guys are wearing Gucci purses. 2017, what have you done? No, seriously, the other day, I had something happen to me the first time in my life. A lady came up to me and she's like, I've seen you on TV before. I was like, really? You know, I didn't know how to handle it. So I just went with it. I was like, damn right, bitch.

Get on your knees. No, I didn't say that. I said, so? You want a cookie? And then gave her a cookie. But yeah, that's what I got. All my new material is pretty weak, but thank you. The saddest thing perhaps one can do is try to beat us to shitting on yourself.

There it is. There's that cat. That's a minute. One decent punchline for you. I'm sorry. Talking to the mic, sorry. When you shit on yourself, I want to hear it loud and clear. I don't want to do any

of this off the air shit. Have I been waiting for this? Slam the stand down when you do it. Don't actually do it, Kevin. That's one of those no-ands. That's my favorite non-joke of all time, you told tonight. Black guys are wearing Gucci purses.

2017, what have you done? No. You write that down, man? Did you write it down? That's a good question. With pen and paper? Or on a phone? On a phone yesterday. On a phone? Where'd you write it at? That's a good question. With pen and paper? Or on a phone? On a phone yesterday.

On a phone? Yeah. Where'd you write it at? Were you in your apartment? Yeah. The pen you wrote it with just called it once. It's ink bag. It was good.

He stumbled. But it was... Solberg. Solberg. Wow. There he is. You've awakened the monster. That's a true Joel Berg line.

He's pouring water. He's a monster. Awesome. I can't believe a pen made a phone call like that to get its ink back. I've never even heard of such a thing. Okay, so... The paper just filed a sexual harassment complaint Tony liked it

Back to you guys This just in Kevin Budge is still on stage How long have you been doing stand-up, man? Three years. What do you do for a living? Just tell the truth. I could tell a guy loading up a lie.

Get ready to throw a right now in there. Right now? I'm unemployed slash helping him with graphic design. What? You're Pauly's graphic designer? This is breaking news. This is breaking news. I actually thought

that was the Hulk thing. That's exactly what I was expecting. Oh, shit. He was my graphic designer. That's just it. Kevin Bucky is now completely unemployed. Wow.

This is a special apprentice version of Kill Tony. Nobody's ever gotten fired on the spot. This is great. Wow. This is a special apprentice version of Kill Tony. Nobody's ever gotten fired on the spot. This is great. Wow. So you're taking comedy seriously? Seriously? Enough to write so much new material that I tried out on a show that I shouldn't be trying out new material. That's okay.

Still bombing. What was the last job that you had before working with Pauly? I worked at an airport in Pittsburgh. I moved here at Christmas, and I worked at the airport. What did you do at the airport? I thought you worked at the Museum of Natural History

as a Neanderthal. Whoa, reggae. Pat reggae and... Reggae and... Pat reggae. Pat reggae and... Reggae and... Pat Reggae. Pat Reggae, that's it, yeah. I didn't have a joke about looking like a caveman, kind of. Have you ever done this show before?

No. This person. Yeah, I was prepared. So, in all, honestly, like, I met Kevin. I met Kevin. He's a nice kid. You know, I like nice people. Anyways, you know, his comedy's another thing.

It takes some time, right? Yeah. Yeah. It takes a lot of time. Obviously, more than 11 years is what we figured out earlier. So he's always, you know, he's one of these guys that's very gun-ho and he's very excited about the business. But the business is a fucking reality. Yeah.

And this is what happened here tonight. It's a fucking train wreck reality. Yeah. Seriously. It's, you know what I mean? Niza fucking train wreck reality. Seriously, you know what I mean? It's a long fucking gig and that's why I'm saying a lot of people that do this shit,

either you fucking do it or don't fucking do it. And if you do it, then it's going to take a long time. No, I think it's about getting punched in the nuts over and over again and just learning from it.

I'll tell you this, man. You should have, knowing that we're coming up here, you should have prepared more, and you should have fucking killed, dude. What the fuck, dude? You have material that could have killed, but you didn't fucking do it.

That's what I don't get. And now you ate shit, and it's fucked up. It's one minute. It makes me look fucking bad. It's not cool. Well, I mean... No, you're right, though. I'm sorry.

Whoa. To be fair, like... Oh, God. To be fair, though... That was amazing. He can always go back to being a bully on Boy Meets World. Yes. Where are you from?

I'm from Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. How long have you been here? Since Christmas Day. Since Christmas. You're still wearing those Pittsburgh clothes. Still rocking the Pittsburgh outfits, huh? He's not on a blow-up mattress anymore, though, so he's got a real

mattress. So that's cool. He's looking up and he's either got two jobs. He's either got Target or In-N-Out, right? No, he's not. Wait. Wait a second. Are we catching him in a lie right now? No, he works with me sometimes, but for his job job, he's going to either get a job at Target

or In-N-Out. Target pays what an hour? $10.50. And then In-N-Out is $12. Your voice cracked when you said that, Kevin. No, this is good. But the thing is, if he gets his job at In-N-Out, then he can come up here and do some fucking jokes about working at In-N-Out.

Which I think would be cool. And you can go animal style on the stage, mom. Yeah. This guy. You guys are doing great over there tonight without Jeremiah. Dude, I would say he's seriously doing great without Jeremiah tonight. What?

I said they're doing great tonight without Jeremiah. Yes, they are. They absolutely are, but I mean, that's really not your job to fucking say that, Kevin, at all. What are you trying to do? Win us over now?

No, I watched the video. He should just take his constructive criticism. Give him his constructive criticism. Okay, here's some constructive criticism. Are you ready for some constructive criticism, Kevin? How long have you done? Three years? All of it in Pittsburgh.

How many spots a week were you doing in Pittsburgh, tell the truth? One. Yeah, one. One or two. One or two. Mostly one? Sometimes. I worked two full-time jobs there. I'm not asking you how many jobs you worked in Pittsburgh.

I'm asking you how many times you got up a week. Yeah, once or twice. Sometimes four times. Keep that music going. I was going up when I was starting stand-up comedy. I was going up here in L.A. at places like this, grinding and grueling at every open mic without a car, and I was going up one spot every 45 minutes,

and then I was going to another spot and doing another spot and then another spot. So you basically really fucking just started. So you need to take those three years and shove them up your ass and look at it like you're starting you know with a clean slate and completely start over throw the burn the clothes that you're wearing never wear a backwards hat like take the hat off for a second let me see what kind of skull you're working with here oh yeah there you go why are you doing the backwards like 80s like chucky cheese domino's pizza thing what's going on? It's like you have a power glove that you're about to take out of a suitcase. I actually had a joke about getting a haircut, too, and I should have fucking done it.

I'm sorry. It's the Berg, bro. You know you're from fucking Ohio. He's from the Berg. I know what it is. That's 45 minutes away from where I'm from. That's why I can relate to the sad apparel that he's wearing. The old fourth guy in a gangbang that just pulls his jeans down and fucks with two shirts on and a backwards hat and long white tube socks.

The original Bugle Boy. White tube socks? Oh, black tube socks. You rebel. Can I say something? Like the criticism you just said, like getting up multiple times a week. I know he said that multiple times. That literally is like watching Preacher. People like that develop. They're getting up at least multiple times a week. I know he said that multiple times. That literally is like watching Preacher.

People like that develop. They're getting up at least ten times a week, if not more. Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. What are you saying it for? I just said it. Why did you just repeat that? You're confirming what I just said? You have no job. You should be going up ten times a night. Don't fucking hurt him. You either want to do it or you don't.

No, absolutely. Kevin, how good of a graphic designer are you? I'm pretty good. Good. I love you, Kevin. Welcome to the show. You did it, buddy. You popped your cherry.

This is either going to fire you up or you're going to be a big baby. My guess is you're going to start writing jokes tomorrow like you've never written in your fucking life. No, thank you. Seriously. Later, buddy. There he goes. Kevin Budgey, everyone. Making a bad example of fist bumping everybody before he leaves. Please don't do that. I hate that.

I hate fist bumping people. I don't bring guests on. You don't get pulled out of the bucket for your magical fist bump. He does the graphics for my new Crackles show. Yeah, got him. Does he? Yeah, it's great. magical fist bump. He does the graphics for my new Crackle show. Yeah. Got him.

Does he? Yeah, it's great. Pauly's got a new awesome show on Crackle called the Pauly Shore Podcast Show. I guess that's what it's called, yeah. So check that out on Crackle. Crackle.com. Crackle.com. It's a website. So you know...

What's it on, man? What? What's it on, man? Crackle.com. It's a website. So you know... What's it on, man? What? What's it on, man? Crackle.com. Oh, Crackle, yes. I was pretending not to know. I thought it would be funny, man. Yeah. So you know Kevin?

You seen him around? The guy that was just here. I think I've seen him around at some point, yeah. Like around. Yeah. At nighttime, like walking around. I pulled another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Aaron Thompson.

So I'm a police officer, Los Angeles. Oh, I ain't going to shoot nobody, man. Nobody black. I'm pulling all the white people over, man. I work in South Central. What are you doing here? Irvine is that way. But I'm a cop, and I still get scared to get pulled over, though. I'm a cop And I still get scared to get pulled over though

I watch the videos I still get scared You hear that chirp You ever get scared to give it When you hear that chirp you get that puck effect You know what that puck effect is man When your booty hole go like this When I hear that chirp I do this

Hey what do you need Registration is in the glove box I get it now Oh sorry too fast Hey, what do you need? Registration is in the glove box. I get it now. Oh, sorry. Too fast, too fast. I was at work. Had a white partner.

We had a black dude with a gun. Put your hands up. Come down to your knees. Partner, you got it from here? I'm so scared. I'm over here like this. What you doing? Hey, I don't want no confusion. You know how we all look alike, man.

Wow. Aaron Thompson, that's crazy. Is that true? You're really an LAPD? I do not lie. That is so fucking awesome. Put your hands together for this guy. Working a real full-time job.

Working a real fucking job. Being a hero out there. And then actually coming in. Yes, this is your song. Yeah, man. For those of you that are listening to the podcast, Joel's celebrating his

fun time over there and pulled a bag of pot out and then remembered that Aaron was like, and hid the bag of pot. It's totally legal. It's legal. It's legal. It's legal. He's good.

He's good. Do you smoke herb? I don't know. Wait a second. 20 seconds ago, he said he could not tell a lie. Hey, no. I do not right now.

That's some pro level right now and shit. Thank you for that. Now I know how to start answering the cops when they ask me questions. Always two drinks and right now. Right now. Two drinks with a big dinner. Man.

Aaron, that is fucking... How long have you been a police officer for? Nine years. Wow. Like a real fucking grown man. You single? No, I am not. I am married.

Yeah. About to be single. Did he cheat on you, or what's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good one. Yeah. He's about to cop himself a new wife. I like that.

Whoa. Man. So is that true? You really having some trouble with the lady? How long you been with her? Going on 12 years. Whoa. That's crazy.

It's a struggle, but it's all right. It's a good show. 12 years a slave. Oh. Solbert Jolbert. Jolbert. Jolbert. Insanity. He's on fire right now.

Hold on to it. Fire. He's pouring more water on his face for some reason. On what's mostly an audio podcast. Make sacrifices for the 65 people slammed in a room. I care about my audience.

Aaron, you work South Central, so you work the crazy shit. Yeah, what do you see? Tell us a little bit about it. We see a little bit of everything. What's one of the crazier situations that you've truly been first responder on or something like that? A suicide.

Whoa. In progress? No, no, no. No, we got there, and I've never seen that in person. Never seen it in person, man. So that was my first time ever seeing somebody had killed himself in his bathroom, gun on the floor, brain matter on the... Was it the guy who performed first tonight? Sorry.

Sorry, it's a mean joke. I'm sorry. I take it back. Wow, Patty motherfucking reggae over there. You guys are unstoppable. That's my brethren, Patty Regan. Yeah. How much time do you have?

Nine years. No, stand up. Oh, one year this month. Okay. Wow, man. You're freakishly, you know, naturally talented. One of the main things is, you know, so many people are afraid to talk about their real life and real job and real perspective. And, you know, I mean, another perfect example is

you work with that last comedian during the day. So you brought up Target and In-N-Out. His answer was unemployed, and sometimes I do. But, for example, had he just talked about applying for jobs at In-N-Out and applying for jobs at Target, something right after, you can say anything after that, that's hilarious because we know that it's true. You can feel the honesty. even like it doesn't it's not even about that you're a police officer it's about that you're talking about real shit and you're using your experience as a you

know a perfect valve it's very impressive because so many people that we get on this show obviously do nothing dog shit all day they lay in in bed so fucking long. They do nothing. They do fucking nothing. And then after doing nothing, they take a nap. Meanwhile, you're out there keeping streets safe and having enough common sense and awareness and passion to be able to perform a

strong minute set like that. So wait, what was the answer? How much material do you have? Material? What's your longest set you've ever done? The longest I've ever done was 25 minutes. Wow. What are you comfortable with? Oh, I have a good 10, I got a good 5, I got a good...

Whatever you need. Oh, shit. How about 10 minutes in the evidence locker? How about that? You'd have a captive audience. Red band. Red band. To piggyback, I think that you do two things really well at the top that I think you should do.

And I was going to say the same thing about the last guy that we had up here. Like talking about, did you say he upgraded from an air mattress your former graphic designer so you coming out and saying i'm a cop right and then addressing the like here's who i'm not pulling over who's who i am i'm not gonna i might shoot something with all of that stuff and then being able to get into your real life like heads everything off at the top for the audience so that's like coming up with that bag of bricks and just dropping that and then getting into your real shit is everybody's with you after that. I thought

that was great. Yeah, man. I'd like to I think what was amazing about your set. I don't know. I'm doing Italian guy. Okay. What was amazing that you set your act outs? I'm serious. I'm serious. Okay, it's back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Yeah. Voila, feeling airy. All right. So your act outs were like, it was like ballet, man. Your act outs were like dead on to the movement,

your stillness. You stopped at the right time. You moved. Like every movement was like very choreographed for a comic like far advanced past your time doing comedy

yeah it was almost like you were a cop or something Aaron where you going bro what the fuck Aaron he's like I'm holding coke I gotta get the fuck out of here.

That motherfucker been sweating since that set started. He's on his way to Irvine. You told him. If a suicide is the craziest thing that you've seen in person, what's the silliest thing or the funniest thing that you rolled up on? Oh my god.

Nine years. I could just say the most recent kind of crazy thing I heard was we were doing this apartment check with this guy. He's not supposed to, he lives in the projects. He's not supposed to have anything illegal or even cigarettes or smoke inside the place. We found weed on him and we

don't give a shit. We just like, yeah, whatever. Well, what do you have it for? Well, it's medical. Like, what do you, What's your, you know, what's wrong with you? He said, I got bronchitis. No, no, I promise. I promise. I put that on my kid's life. He said bronchitis. Me and my partners were cracking up.

That is so fucking awesome. So what about the most amount of drugs he's ever busted? I'm not a narcotics officer, so I don't know. He doesn't bust people for drugs. I don't fuck with that. Joel's very happy. That's not my job, man. That's not my job.

Please, job. What's mostly your specialty? To be honest, I work in the projects in Watts. So what we do, we're a community-based. Watts, California? Watts. Watts? You don't know Watts?

No, I was trying to make a dumb, stupid joke. It really failed miserably. I mean, if you do see a white person in Watts, they either do have a Bible in their hand or some drugs up their ass. That's why. And so. Why wouldn't they just put the drugs in the Bible? Aphrodite loved that joke.

Oh, yeah. What? And so we are a community-based officer, so we actually try to, you know, get a relationship with the community. Wait, community-based? What are we talking? So he's not really a cop? Are you just neighborhood watch?

Come on over. He's saying... He's saying they, like, get really close to the Are you just neighborhood watch? Come on over. Come on over. He's saying they get really close to the neighborhood. We're trying. Do you wear a cop outfit? Yes, he's a cop. Do you have a gun?

Yeah. Your song was about me today. Oh, gun in my backpack. Yes. When's the last day you worked and what did you do? I'm on vacation right now. The last day I worked. What did you do the last day you worked?

Damn. I didn't do shit. That was a few weeks ago. Wait, the last day you worked as a cop? No, yeah. I'm on vacation. Oh, wow. That's cool.

Do I have to show you my ID? What about donuts? You like donuts? Yeah, you look like you eat protein donuts. You know, the first time I had a donut, I was like, yo, I took a moment. I was like, I'm about to eat a donut as a cop. This is awesome. I was like, this is awesome, dude.

Dude, I mean, there's, you know, I don't know how that shit works, but you should definitely fucking with you, the wealth of material that you have, I mean, all of that shit. You've answered every question with a killer thing, just like Preacher with all of his experience and energy has been. And if I were you, one cool thing that I would definitely do with that type of knowledge of all that stuff is I'd figure out how to perform

in front of all those cops, the LAPD, when they have events and shit. I have. Oh, perfect. Killed it, right? It was a bunch of sheriffs. And that's been on this past year since you started? I mean, you just started and just started doing that. It's fucking awesome. I'm taking it serious, man.

Well, then, in that case, I truly hope you'll come see us again soon. We'll see you in a minute. Protect and serve. Protect and serve. Put your hands together for Officer Aaron Thompson, ladies and gentlemen. How cool is that? That is really cool. Fun episode so far, huh?

Huh? Well, I think it's about to get more fun. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pretty sure shit's about to take a crazy turn right now. If this is who I think it is, I think we're all in for a very special treat. Put your hands together for Vicky Reagan. Holy shit. Ladies and gentlemen. Give it up for my mom, everybody.

It's Pat Reagan's mother, Vicky Reagan. Yeah. Yeah! Yeah! I'm not a comedian. I'm a comedian's mom. And he just did this song, Mom's Song. And he just did this song, Mom's Song. Two years ago, he did it for Comedy Central, YouTube, on Mother's Day. So. And since I'm not a comedy comedian, I only have two fans. My son and my

daughter. But Tony Tope, and I'm not good with a mic. Tony told me or asked me last time I was here about three months ago

did I have something funny to talk about Pat? And I was speechless because I don't like microphones. But I thought of something. Make it quick.

We put the cat in the box. We put the cat in the box. Go ahead. Take your time. It's okay. When Pat was about three years old and he couldn't say truck, he'd always substitute TR for F. He'd always substitute TR for F. And so one time we were in church, and like he said, he was Catholic, we were at Mass, and it was in a very solemn part of the Mass. And what happens is this little kid in front of us has a truck that he's playing with.

And the middle of mass, all of a sudden, Peck gets so excited he can't stand it. He says, fuck, fuck, fuck. Wow. Standing ovation from the panel for the great Vicki Reagan. And the audience. The first ever universal standing ovation in the show's history. Pat Rege hiding the pot that fell out of his pocket from his mom.

Wow. She's wild. That is so awesome. You're wild. Pat, now I know why you want to hook up with your mom. Yeah. It's kind of hot. Are you still married? Yes, 33 years.

Wow. Do you guys truck? No. Do you guys truck? No. My. What? Test, test. All the mics are out except for mine.

Test, test. There you go. You're good. That was awesome. Fuck yeah. It's a real live show. What about Kevin Bugkey? Yeah.

Oh, man. Bugkey. Bugkey. Vicky, that is so fucking awesome that you did this this is amazing because it's really Pat is one of the most obviously hilarious but also like experiment sometimes not so obvious

tonight for sure you've just been slaughtering especially and he's like a wacky out of the box comedian is what we would consider Pat amongst us right amongst our peers Slaughtering, especially. He's like a wacky, out-of-the-box comedian is what we would consider Pat amongst us, amongst our peers, sort of, like a risk-taker, always writing new stuff.

And you seem like you're just so proper and Catholic and all that stuff. Where do you think Pat gets this wild side from? I don't know. We really thought the babies got switched at the hospital. Yes. Wow. Because he's a little bit wilder.

Is he wilder than his sister, too? Is that right? Is he a brother and sister? Bart was really conservative in high school. Really? Was he part of the Young Republican Pot Smokers Association? Conservative. What do you mean?

What was so conservative about him back in the day? Is this okay that I ask this question? He never used the F word. Really? Only in church? In high school. Only in church. Only in church. Only in church. In high school.

In college. Wow. Now that he's a comedian. That little laugh is everything you need to know. It's so adorable. You explode with charisma after everything that you say.

What have you always, what was your career? Were you just always a mom? I can't tell how much effort you put into Pat, actually. A lot. She tried. I was a dietician. Oh, cool. I'm pretty sure that's dietician music, if you haven't heard it before.

Don't eat cherry pie. Or you're going to have some thick ass thighs. Joel Burke. Good fucking lord. The spirit of Jeremiah is thriving. You guys are fucking wackadoodle.

I've always known him as a ladies man. Has he always been a ladies man his whole life? That's a really good question. Pat be fucking. No, I'm just kidding. Just because I haven't done this show a lot, I'm just kidding. Jokes. Just because I haven't done this show a lot

and I'm really kind of confused, which one is her kid? Tony, we got a special caller that wants to join in, but we have to be pretty quiet about this. But let's first give him a round of applause. Ladies and gentlemen, calling in, it's Jeremiah Watkins.

And now we silence up all the way. Everybody, shut up. Jeremiah. Hello, hello. This is very important. Yes. Yes, go ahead. Is Pat's mother Vicky there?

Actually, you know, you wouldn't believe it, but she is. She is there. Yes. Right here, man. Is Patrick there? Is Pat Reagan there? Right here, man. Right here, Jeremiah.

Patrick is here. Okay, Pat, Vicky and I have been waiting a really long time to tell you this. We, we don't know how to tell you this, but, um, well, well, Pat, uh, I've, I've called you my boy for years and there's a reason for that. And the reason is you're actually my boy, Patty Reagan, because you're my son, Patty Reagan. Oh, shit! Mom! Wow. Is that all you wanted to say, Jeremiah? I love it.

Pat, how do you... Son, I've been waiting a long time for this. Is there anything you want to say to me? Obviously, you've been waiting a long time. I'm pretty sure Pat's older than you, Jeremiah. Don't question the math on how this works. Our love has been burning for a long time. Oh, man.

Almost believable through your laughter. Can I talk to my sweetums, Vicky? Yes, Jeremiah. man. Almost believable through your laughter. Can I talk to my sweetums, Vicky? Yes. Yes, Jeremiah. Vicky, I love you. I'll be back in California soon and we'll throw everything away with our song.

I'm so happy that I created such an inspiring artist like our son, Patty Reagan. And you can find his album, if you haven't listened to it already, Bad Chat on Spotify. Yes, you can find that album. You can find Jeremiah Watkins on a great many things, including the... Pat's mom. Yes.

Oh, low blow, mom. Jeremiah, anything else you want to say before we let you go? No, that's all. I'm just a very happy father this Mother's Day weekend. I'm glad I can finally tell my son, Patty Reagan, how our relationship is going to blossom in the future. And I love you, son. I love this.

Well, there he goes, ladies and gentlemen, the great Jeremiah Watkins. Thank you, daddy. A live phone call. Great comedian and the father of Pat Reagan. I'm speechless. Vicky, how do you feel now that the secret's out about you and Jeremiah? Vicky, how do you feel now that the secret's out about you and Jeremiah? Well, surprised.

Perfect. Pat, what was it like watching your mom on stage getting to hang out like this? It was cool, man. You know, it's cool. She was nervous and she did it and she killed it, you know? Yeah, I absolutely agree with Pat. And you have so much charisma. Really, really awesome.

And I really, really appreciate you doing that. That was one of my highlights in this show's history. Our first ever Kill Tony mom. There she is, Vicky Gregan, everybody. Come on. Pat's mom. That is fucking awesome. By the way, that was the first ever all-out standing ovation

anyone's ever gotten on this show. Very impressive, Vicki Reagan. Holy shit. It's a fucking fun episode. She's a cutie, right? I'm jealous of Jeremiah. Hold your tongue, man. I'll let her hold my tongue.

Anyway. We're going to go back to the bucket in a second. Let's get our regular on stage. Every single week we have a comedian who writes and performs a brand new 60 seconds every single week. So she doesn't get pulled out of the bucket. She literally has been doing this since like her 21st birthday.

Esther Pavinsky? No. No, that's an old reference, Pauly. I liked it. Put your hands together. You know her. You love her. It's the great. Did you have sex with Esther? That's all.

This was all ten years ago, Pauly. Oh, you both did? That's hilarious. Ten years ago. How dare you? That's hilarious. Pauly. I had no idea, I swear to God.

Pauly. Yes, you did know that. I swear to God, I forgot. Everybody knows that. For the listeners, Pauly's making Tony bring his life to the stage. That's not true. That's not my life. It never happened.

Did you have sex with her here at the comedy store? Tommy watched the whole time. Hilarious. I thought it was the other girl that's on Saturday Night Live. What's her name? Melissa Villasenor. Yeah, I thought that was... No, I thought it was the other girl that's on Saturday Night Live What's her name? Melissa Villasenor That was Matt Edgar Matt was dating her

For those of you that don't know Who your favorite comedians were dating A decade ago you just found out Boom Like I was saying This young lady writes and performs A brand new minute every single week. Not easy to do at all.

Put your hands together for the great Allie Makovsky, everybody. It's good to be here. I'm getting hotter by day, which is exciting. I'm taking this pill that gets rid of acne. And today's like day 12. And the first month is the roughest month on Accutane. It's what I call the personality phase. People always try and ask if you'd rather be deaf or blind.

I think blind is not the way to go. I'd rather be deaf or blind. I think blind is not the way to go. I'd rather be deaf. People say that love is blind, and I think that just ugly people think that when they've made a mistake. It's kind of like people who have a long second toe, and they're like, it just means I'm creative. I'm like, no, it just means you need to cope

with your ugly-ass toes. I had a deaf uber driver and that was exciting. I noticed that all all the uber drivers I get that are deaf have lower ratings and I think it's because people don't realize that they're deaf and they're just having one-way conversations with themselves. Okay. Well what was the... Go ahead. And I kind of like having deaf Uber drivers because I don't have to talk to them, but one time I had a deaf Uber driver who was using his hands way too much, really chatty

with the hands. And I was like, how do I say 10 and 2 in sign language? That's awesome. There you go. There's the meat and potatoes of that one. All that stuff you're saying you just have way you did the most common mistake even when all the best comedians are just starting out one thing that absolutely every single person agrees on is that there's a weird thing you do your first few years of comedy where your setups are just naturally too long

we always think that we have to tell everybody everything like you said you know would i rather be blind would i rather be deaf i don't think blind's the way to go for no reason i'd rather be deaf you know what i mean like it's like anything that you can cut out cut out you had a deaf uber driver he's talking with his hands too much is the entire thing well if you said that like but he was probably he was you know if you just get right into it six seconds it's not 24 seconds you know what i mean so and then once you have that once you have that momentum built once you trim out these and normally they're not always that long but i'm just saying it just goes to show

that it's a natural habitat and a weird habit in comedy that I think everybody sort of goes through. Maybe the deaf-able driver said, like, what do you want to listen to? And then he turned on, like, silence. Yeah, yeah, by the time he's talking with his hands and by the time you have that out there, you're going to get a bigger laugh

than what you got with that setup. Yeah. And you don't really realize it until you try it without the setup. You know what I mean? It just is about taking those chances. I like the acne jokes. Yeah. Those are cool.

That's all true. We've been following this storyline. The Accutane brings your acne out for it to go away. You're going to be a breakout star. It's true. Is there any positive effects, though? Does it make you wetter or anything like that? Oh, my God. Brian, you're so gross. Where's

that police officer at? No, what it does is it pretty much stops your body from producing oil, so you're dry. Whoa. So it kind of has a double advantage, you know? What's the way you side an advantage? Well, you know, a lot of discharge going on

and it just dries it up, so I'm gonna have... There's your Uber driver. Okay, it's not that extreme. Uber's here. Fuck yeah. What else has been going on in life, Allie?

What else has been going on? Have you been dating anyone? So is the dry pussy affecting... Is it dry or is it wet? Now I'm confused. There's no oils. When you say discharge, what do you mean? Well, I have a joke about it.

You don't have to say you have a joke about it. You can just go right into the answer. Make it seem seamless. Okay, great. I just have a really le it. You can just go right into the answer. Make it seem seamless. Okay, great. I just have a really leaky puss. Wait, is that the joke? No, it's not the joke. Whatever.

Got a leaky puss. How leaky is it? It's pretty leaky. Yeah, I don't know. What was the question? How leaky is your pussy? Well, no, that's not the question. I guess the question was, what's coming out of it?

What are you saying? What's it leaking? It's creamy. No, it's discharge. What's discharge? I don't know what that is. Is that good or bad? It's good.

It's good. It looks good. It's like discharge is what cleans your vagina naturally, but it's just a lot because I'm unhygienic. Oh, that's right. That's so rough. But you know what? What do you mean?

Wait, what were you going to say? Our audience is startled. What do you mean? Wait, what were you going to say? I know what? Our audience is startled. I love that my set had nothing to do with my vagina somehow. Well, the first follow-up question, you know, it went straight to vagina. Yeah, that's usually how it goes.

Oh, now that I have a shaved head, I shower so much. Is that true? Yeah. How often? Like, sometimes I do it. It's great. Is that true? Yeah. How often? Like, sometimes I do it twice a day. Wow. Can we see it? Wait, what?

It's pretty gross. It's good. I thought we were talking about the discharge. It's not gross. It looks hot. It's not gross at all. No, I think it looks cool. You have a lovely head.

Thank you. How's that been going? What's the difference? That is a good question. What's the, now that you've had the shaved head for a few weeks, uh, what's the deal with guys? Um,

they, so there's no hair to pull if we're like making out or something. So they just aggressively rub my scalp. But since I'm on Accutane, my whole body is really dry. So it's just a lot of dandruff. Oh,, man. Why is everyone so

grossed out? Have you had sex since you've had your head shaved? No, I haven't. Have you given oral sex since you've had your head shaved? I haven't. Okay, that's my one or two questions. I'm just saying. The defense rests, Your Honor. Polly knows how to do it. Because I'm sure saying The defense rests your honor Polly knows how to do it

Cause I'm sure if she's giving you Orals it's like your dude's blowing you Or some shit Cause usually you're holding the hair of the chick But this is like You gotta lose yourself in the moment That's kinda hot in a way, in a little way. You only get one shot.

Do not miss your chance to blow. It's out for the D-code. These weak arms are sweaty. This vomit on his sweater already. Mom's spaghetti. Wait, Daniel's been waiting for this his whole life. He's already dropped bombs. Ready to get your spaghetti.

When he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud. He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out. He's all forgetty when he wrote down the whole cloud goes so loud. He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out. He's choking now. Everybody's choking now. Time's run up. Time's up. Over pound. Step back to reality.

Oh, there goes gravity. Oh, there goes gravity. He's so mad, but he won't. He won't. He's so mad, but he won't. This is like the content. Daniel Van Kirk. My whole life.

My whole life. All those ellipticals finally made it worth it. How long do you run the elliptical? Like eight miles? Yeah. That's an AO? That was in the moment. I loved it.

How dare you I have a quick question That you might have covered On other times Where you guys are doing this We had so many people Up here tonight That we felt like

Just weren't digging into Like mining themselves One thing for me If you haven't seen it Sleepwalk with me With Mike Birbiglia And there's that scene Where he's just

Bitching about his life And Marin looks at him And goes That's what you should be Fucking talking about It was right in front of him but he's like oh i got this thing about how i feel about funnel cakes like who gives it well funnel cakes are good but like so for you i wanted to ask you you've got to come up with a new and maybe people who didn't do this tonight or want to do this and her didn't get picked what do you look at when you're trying to come up with another 60 seconds every week like what are you really good question i was just charged about that today that

wasn't part of the uh i was trying to think about that today like throughout the week i'll kind of be like what like bothers me but then i get in my head and i'm like i just sound annoying because i'm like don't you hate like i hate this this and this and then i'm like okay but that's not like genuine i'm just like trying to come up with things so sometimes it'll just happen naturally where like something will happen and I'll be like oh that's like something that I'm passionate about whether it's good or bad that I can write about but it's just like every week I'm kind of like struggling you should do a joke about kickball I don't know why I just felt it yeah that's probably right next week

stay tuned alright there she goes the great Ali Makovsky ladies and gentlemen you better never let it go Tony I heard the cop I heard that the cop oh sorry

maybe you should have rappers now since we started no Joel Jimenez I was gonna that the cop... Oh, sorry. Maybe you should have rappers now since we started. No? Joel Jimenez. I was going to say the cop. I heard he was in the green room yelling, King Kong ain't got nothing on me.

Wasn't worth it. All right, moving on. Are you guys ready to go really quickly through one more comedian? I went to the bucket. One more name out of the bucket. Half-assed audience, but we're going to do it anyway. Put your hands together for Mikey Milios.

No. Hey, I'm Mikey. I'm from Australia, but I live here. There's a lot of hipsters in LA. I used to not like them up until I figured out what hipsters are. Hipsters is what happens when emos don't commit suicide. So now every time I see a hipster, I'm like, hey, right on. You made it.

It gives me hope. It gives me hope. I was at a movie theater today and they had a sign out the front that said recording devices are strictly prohibited. But I snuck in a pen and wrote the whole thing down. If anyone's interested, I'll be selling copies of Beauty and the Beast outside. It's a touching story. I have a girlfriend. We've been together 10 years. Nothing. Do you just feel bad for her?

Is that what that is? To commemorate our nine year... I'll just wrap it up. Okay, go is? To commemorate our nine year I'll just wrap it up. Okay, go ahead. To commemorate your nine year what? Anniversary, we decided to get tattoos because we're classy people. She got a tattoo on her hip. It's really quite sexy.

It says Mikey. And I got a tattoo on my shoulder that also says Mikey because I misunderstood. Well, I'll tell you this. I remember you and I'm sure you remember being on this show a few weeks ago and it did not go good at all, right? Well, it was very sad.

Right. It was a whole thing and it was just not the right time and this and that and obviously, you know, something I mean, I don't know if you just save your best minutes for not your first minute on this show but obviously this just went a lot better than that did so it just goes to show fucking you know

stick with it don't give up because you were fucking horrendous a few weeks ago and that just went extremely well correct you feel good about that right good job man that's the end of the show unfortunately we have to wrap it up due to time that's Mikey Milios, everybody. There he goes.

Obviously a Greek-Australian. Look at tonight's drawing. Make noise. Hey, Planet of the Weasels. Look at that. Ryan J. Ebel. That's fucking awesome. Wow.

All those prints are available at ryanjebel.com. Also, he sells the original artwork on that website as well. That's all available at ryanjebelt.com. Also, he sells the original artwork on that website as well. That's all available at ryanjebelt.com. Can I say something? Can I say, you guys, congratulations for Tony for having a fucking awesome show. Thanks, Pauly. Seriously. Pauly Shore's podcast show is on Crackle.

And he has other. He's in the new Sandy Wexler movie on Netflix and just follow me on Twitter too it's fun Daniel Van Kirk make some noise for Daniel Van Kirk ladies and gentlemen

Dumb People Town on Feral Audio and this season of Bob's Burgers with the Sklar Brothers Dumb People Town I absolutely love it I went and saw it live when I was in Austin, Texas at Moon Tower when we all got to work together. That was a blast.

Make some noise for the great Joel Jimenez, ladies and gentlemen. I think today is like my one-year anniversary on this show. One-year anniversary on this show. Also, happy Mother's Day to my mom. Thanks. How about the great Vicky and Pat Reagan, everybody? Patty's got a new album out called Bad Chad. I love all of his work.

Reagan and Watkins have a new sketch online right now on YouTube. It's hilarious. It's very, very funny. Check it out. I'm doing the Monster Energy tour in June. Check out those dates at TonyHinchFlip.com. Live audience, thank you so much. Good night. How? Everybody's joking now. The clock's run out. Time's up. Over. Plow. Snap back to Outro Music