KILL TONY - KILL TONY #213

Episode Date: May 30, 2017

Sal Vulcano, Luis j Gomez, Ali Macofsky, Pat Regan, Josh Martin, Joel Jimenez, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - Date: 05/22/2017 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Call 1-866- 531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Please play responsibly. Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony here at Death Squad. Go to our website deathsquad.tv for everything that we do, including video portions

to the podcast and live shows. Click on our tour dates and you'll see that we not only do Kill Tony every Monday at the World Famous Comedy Store, but we have every first and third Friday. We were at the Ice House every second and fourth Wednesday. We're at the Laugh Factory and Death Squad Toronto just went on sale July 27th with Dean Del Rey, Sam Tripoli, Ian Edwards and me. That's July 27th at the Queen Elizabeth Theater.

You can go to thecornercomedy.com for tickets or just go to deathsquad.tv and click on tour dates. Also, Tony Hinchcliffe has a website, The Golden Pony. Go to TonyHinchcliffe.com for all his tour dates. He's about to go on this huge tour for Monster Energy. So check it out, TonyHinchcliffe.com for all his tour dates. He's about to go on this huge tour for Monster Energy. So check it out, TonyHinchcliffe.com. Also, Ryan J. Ebelt, the house artist. He draws every episode. He drew the new Kill Tony poster.

Go to RyanJEbelt.com. All right, don't forget ShopSquad.tv. That's the official merchandise of the Death Squad universe. We've got some hats in stock. We also have some new t-shirts coming soon. So check out shopsquad.tv. Here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Ray Brant coming to you live from the world famous comedy store for a brand new episode of Kill Tony.

Here's Tony Henslip. Hi, everyone. How are you? Welcome. Make some fucking noise. It's a goddamn Monday night. You're at the number one live podcast in the world. Kill Tony. This is Brian Red Band, everyone. What's up, guys? Yeah. With us all night on the ones and twos. All the crazy sounds you hear come from him. The great Ryan J.E. Belt is here drawing tonight's episode, house artist, while you all sit there enjoying yourself.

He's drawing. And everything's good. Everything's in place. I'm excited about stuff. The Monster Energy Outbreak Tour is a stand-up comedy tour that I'm doing the entire month of August and a bunch of other dates leading up to it and after it. All those dates are available at TonyHinchcliffe.com. Rock venues and small theaters all around

the country of the United States of America. My first ever theater tour. It's the Monster Energy Outbreak Tour. You just played Columbus, Ohio during the Rock the Range. Soundgarden was supposed to headline the show, and three days before, Chris Cornell died,

and they ended up playing a bunch of, I got to play at a cool rock concert in my former hometown of Columbus, Ohio, and it was crazy. They played a bunch of cool tributes. That was a lot of fun. Shout out to Dave Stroop and the friends over at Rock on the Range

for putting on a great festival over there. Yeah, Stroop did that. Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah, Stroop. the friends over at Rock on the Range are putting on a great festival over there. Yeah, Stroop did that. Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah, Stroop. So, fuck yeah. What else? Should we just get into it? Should we bring up tonight's guests?

Yeah. All right, awesome. Two of our favorite guests. They've both been on the show. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. What are you doing? Whoa, what the fuck is that? You got to get him out of here.

What's going on? No, you got to leave, dude. No, you can't do that. You have gotta get him out of here. What's going on? No, you gotta leave, dude. No, you can't do that. You have to get him out of here. That's the former Iron Patriot Jeff Crabtree and he just stormed the stage. You have to get him all the way out of here. That is so crazy Iron Patriot. I'm so disappointed

in you. Wow. I thought that was it. I thought that was truly it. I saw him coming up. I've pictured this numerous times. He was the entire... He was the band for the first 50-some, 60-some, 70-some episodes of the show. He was the Iron Patriot. He wore a suit. Slowly over time, we found out that he was

insane. He wore a suit. Slowly over time, we found out that he was insane. He's been messaging us for a little over a year or two continuously to no response. And he just jumped up on the stage. And you saw that live. That was a live part of the show. If you're wondering why we call ourselves the number one live

comedy podcast in the world, that's why. Not number one pre-taped comedy podcast. That was creepy. I thought it was a biker. I'm genuinely shaken up. I thought he lost his bicycle and he was coming up to his ass or something. I saw that fucking face. I checked both hands to make sure there were no weapons.

But if there was a weapon, I was going to do this crazy front kick. I was half a second away from blasting this way. Exactly. That's what it would have sounded like. That was a very scary moment. I can't believe he thinks that that's okay. Yeah, well, I don't think he, I think that's the whole thing. He doesn't really think much. We have to get, like, a restraining

order or something. This just got weird. Shit just got very real. And he, like, looked at the camera and shit, like, we're gonna edit that out. Yeah We're going to edit that out. Yeah, we'll definitely edit that out. Wow, that's crazy. So only you guys will ever know that that ever happened just now. Shout out.

Make some noise for the Comedy Store staff getting them out of here quickly. Wowzers. I was too stoned. I didn't even flinch. I just saw colors coming at me. That's an interesting thing. We have a real mental health issue in this country that needs to be dealt with. People like that.

That guy wears an Iron Man costume. He does that thing at Hollywood and Highland. He's one of those guys, but he's the Iron Patriot. It's not even Iron Man. First of all, there's two or three Iron Men. This is what you have to know, and they're getting a lot of attention, right? He's the Iron Patriot. He's this version of the, where are those people going? What were those, the Iron Patriot fans in the room? Well, the Patriot's not going to be here. This isn't the show that we want to see. Anyway.

He stands out in front, like Hollywood Boulevard. And then his whole thing is, he thought that he was the part of the show that worked. And once we got rid of him, we became the number one live podcast in the world. Yeah, he was holding us down. We got better ratings when we just bought shit off Amazon Prime and had other people do the Iron Patriot. His shit cost $8,000. You guys ready to meet tonight's guests or what? Wow. That was crazy. Two of our favorite guests, as I was saying before, two of my favorite comedians in the world, two guys that I love to work with and we're doing a bunch of shows coming

up before in the past and in the future with these two guys. Let's see how loud this place can get for the great Sal Volcano and Louis J. Gomez. Wow. Yeah. The best. Yeah. Fucking motherfucking fuck yeah. Luis J. Gomez from Legion of Skanks. We're going to be doing the Skank Fest at the end of June in New York City. Kill Tony for the first time invades New York City. And that's going to close out Skank Fest. And I believe that, well, at least we're working on it. I'd love to officially announce that you and Big J are the guests on that, right?

Yeah, of course. Perfect. There you go. You heard it here first. So to close out Skank Fest, it's literally going to be a super hybrid fucking Legion of Skanks meets Kill Tony collision course. Yeah, with all New York comics. That is June 27th? No, June 25th is the date of the Kill Tony show.

But it's sold out. They can't even get tickets, Tony. Can't even get tickets. But you guys sometimes give some away. Oh, yeah. If they follow at SkankfestNYC on Twitter, we give away a pair of tickets every Friday. Boom. Sal Volcano from the Impractical Jokers is here, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you. I'm excited to... Thank you all for coming. I'm excited to say that I am doing the Impractical Jokers motherfucking cruise. November 1st through 5th. Me, this guy, the Jokers, Bert Kreischer, Sarah Tiana, a bunch of other amazing comedians. Tony, can you stop promoting stuff that these people can't go to? Look how upset they are.

I only have guests on that I have things that I get to promote myself now. It's like, you wonder what I'm doing with this guy? I'm excited about that. We're going from New Orleans to Mexico and now. It's like, hey, you wonder what I'm doing with this guy? I'm excited about that. We're going from New Orleans to Mexico and back. Sounds dangerous. Yeah. Originally,

we weren't coming back, but we added it. Perfect. All right. Good to see you guys. All right. God bless. I don't know if you guys noticed,

but we got like fucking like, we got like trolled earlier live from some crazy guy that used to be part of the show. The whole audience saw it. Before there was a band, we had a robot dressed up as Iron Man that was our head of our security. Oh. And he just attacked us.

Really? I don't know if I'd call it an attack. This is twice in a month that Kill Tony has been attacked. He ran away. At least it wasn't like the attacks in the Ariana Grande concert. Oh, too soon. Not too soon. Too soon.

When did that happen? Two hours ago? No, I know. Yeah. You're probably right. But maybe by the end of this episode, it'll be time for a good Ariana Grande show. We could break it here. So you guys ready to meet the guys that replaced the old Iron Patriot?

I know I am. Missing one third of the band tonight, but put your hands together for the great Pat Reagan and Joel Jimenez, the Kill Tony Band. Jeremiah Watkins in Las Vegas tonight doing some big boy gigs by himself.

Oh! Oh! Cheech and Chong! Wow! Joel Jimenez, Oh! Cheech and Chong! Wow. Joel Jimenez, Joel Berg is obviously Cheech. Pat Reagan

nailing it as Chong. I've never seen Chong activate his own smoke machine before. Joel Jimenez over there ready to rock and roll as Cheech or some version of Mario or Wario. I'm not exactly

sure. Hey man, we ran into some Jamaicans backstage. They hooked us up. With that paper towel roll? Oh, it's weed. Oh, they're joints. Sherlock Holmes. I love it. Well, we're going to be dealing with Cheech and Chong tonight.

Every week the band plays different characters, and I'm excited about this. Shout out to L.A. Speedweed. L.A. Speedweed, for sure, taking great care of us. If you like getting high at all in any way, L.A. Speedweed, for sure, taking great care of us. If you like getting high at all in any way, L.A. Speedweed. Delivered straight to your fucking doorstep. Well, all the pieces are in place. You guys ready to start the fucking show or what?

Live audience, are you guys ready to start the motherfucking show tonight? Then let's do it. I love doing this show with you two. I found the guys from New York are really great guests at this. Oh, thanks, Tony. Comedians, you know how it works. You get 60 seconds. You know your time's up when you hear the sound of a kitty.

That means wrap it up then or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. Jesus. What was that first thing? A goat? Yes. Wow. That's what gets him angry. It's a goat. He hates goats.

Yeah, well, that means don't go over your time because the goat seems furious to me. That seems scarier than the bear. I'm going to start doing goat more. Anything can happen with this bucket. Tony, I have just one question. Is this crowd on heroin?

Is this what, crowd? Oh, it's just weird energy in this room now. They're a little bit shaken up. We've got smoke in here. We've got crazy people running in. They're a little bit shaken up because I was a little bit shaken up. I was blatantly. Patriot got me good.

That was a scary thing because that's one of those guys in here. Let me put it to you this way. I make fun of people a lot i roast a lot of people and in that market in that brand sometimes things get dangerous there's a professional ufc fighter named cyborg a female fighter that currently absolutely hates me that's on the front page of espn for sucker punching another person today and she hates me she's a brazilian and i made fun of her because she took male testosterone but to be fair she did think you were 115 pound fighter yes yeah and so part of be having this uh have part of being this way and making fun of people and stuff is every

once in a while and i'm not afraid of really anybody but every once in a while, and I'm not afraid of really anybody, but every once in a while you're like, there's certain people that I know would kill me. And it just so happens that Jeff Crabtree, the Iron Patriot, the guy who approached the stage tonight is one of those guys that I've literally like, man, if I see him, I need to make sure there's not a weapon in his hands

first. Like, that is my, that's my, who's the guy that shot fucking the Beatle? John Wilkes Booth. hands first. Like, that is my, that's my, who's the guy that shot fucking, uh, The Beetle? John Wilkes Booth? And we're off. Jack Ruby? I don't know. Who was it? There was a creepy guy. Yeah, Chapman. Mark David Chapman. That's what, that's what that

guy is. It's Chapman-esque. Hey, Aphrodite's here, everybody. Look, it's the real deal, Aphrodite. I thought that was just another black curtain, but no, it's the real Aphrodite. Alright, let's start the fucking show. I'm going to pull a name out of the bucket. I'm going to say their name. You guys are going to clap.

Now I'm all jumpy. There's people just being sad. I'm like, oh my god, he's back! Alright. This looks like a new name. Let's all meet him together. Put your hands together for Isaac Hirsch. Hi. I'm an extra. That's my job.

It's really easy. I just walk around in the background of TV and movies. The one downside is that Hollywood keeps trying to tell me what I look like, and it's never anything good. Like last month, I was picked, out of all the extras for my picture, to be a kid in a wheelchair. That means they chose me over kids

who are actually in wheelchairs. Somebody was just like, this guy's got a disabled face. Let's roll with him. Very easy day. I was in one scene. All I had to do was wheel past the actors and flip them off.

That was fun. Do that once. One actor comes up to me. He's just like, hey, man, that's really funny. I'm Michael. Nice to meet you. I was like, oh. That was fun. Do that once. One actor comes up to me. He's just like, hey, man, that's really funny. I'm Michael. Nice to meet you. I was like, oh, I'm Isaac. Do it again.

Different actor comes up to me. He goes, hey, buddy, you're doing a great job. And I was like, wow, what a friendly set. And then I figured out what you guys may have already figured out, which is they thought I was actually in a wheelchair. And I couldn't get up for the rest of the day. I just had to stay in the wheelchair because it would have been terribly awkward if they were like, you're really brave.

And I was like, thank you. That would have been terrible. Pretty the day. I just had to stay in the wheelchair because it would have been terribly awkward if they were like, you're really brave. And I was like, thank you. That would have been terrible. Pretty easy day. But at the end of the day, I had to just be like, it's a miracle. Sorry. All right. Thanks so much, guys. Nailed it. Exactly a Bennett from Isaac Hirsch. No extra time needed. How long have you been an extra for? A year. I'm about to hang it up, though. Really?

You're about to hang it up? Yeah. You're about to hang up the costume that they give you when you arrive and have to give back at the end of the work shift because it's an extra? Red and white striped? No, no, no. He's going to hang himself, he said. He's going to hang it up. I get it.

Shout out to Chris Cornell. What are you going to hang it up? What are you going to do? Other stuff. More reliable work. Like what? I don't know. Delivery driving and stuff.

More reliable work. Doesn't it kind of look like if he pulls off his glasses, he turned into Tony like Superman? Oh, Jewish Tony. And back to Waldo. What gigs did I get me today? It would have been gangster if when he said, what are you going to do besides extra work, he would have took off his glasses and been like, feature work.

How old are you, Isaac? I'm 24. Where are you from? D.C. Whoa, you're obviously I mean, you really blew that tiger early. That's a little bit feisty of an age, according to Red Band. Yeah, I'm from Maryland. Known for its geese.

Yeah, yep. A lot of animal noises. You want to hear something interesting? I can tell you something. Wow. Tommy Chong is the one in second of it. All right, forget it. I do, I do.

Today I was on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Whoa, you were an extra? No, I was a contestant. Obviously he did not win, otherwise he wouldn't be here right now. Yeah. Showing up for fucking Kill Tony. Is that what you wore on the show? No, no, it taped in August.

It just aired today. Hey, dude, need a lifeline? Oh, hell yeah. It just aired today. Hey, dude. Need a lifeline? Oh, hell yeah. I love the weed. Yeah, you almost smoked the wrong end. I guess you really love the weed, Isaac. How far did you get on the show? I got the $20,000 question wrong.

Yeah. Wrong? It's hard. It's so hard now. What was the question? I want to see if I can get this. All right. Which of these was not one of the original four Canadian provinces?

Don't forget this question. A, Ontario. B, Quebec. C, Nova Scotia. D, British Columbia. D, Moose. I know. You know?

Yeah, it was British Columbia. That's right. Thank you. Wow. In my... Hey. Because it's the farthest west. It's easy.

Don't overthink it. It's the furthest west. Unfortunately, when't overthink it It's the furthest west Unfortunately when I was up there Very nerve wracking Didn't think about it If you ever need to phone a friend They don't have that anymore You can't do that

Don't call Tony Yeah I'll give you my Is it text a friend You have to bring the friend with you They have to be in the studio Because there is an episode What would you do Because you obviously

Don't have any friends I brought my dad. Did you phone him? I'm right. Did you phone him in the audience? No, no. It would be so funny if he's like, I'm going to phone a friend.

We're calling your dad. And you just hear the ringer in the crowd. And then the camera pans in on him ignoring his phone call. Who's the host now? It's Chris Harrison from The Bachelor. What? Yeah. Man, I bet he still wants to be a millionaire. Who's the host now? It's Chris Harrison from The Bachelor. What? Yeah. Oof.

Man, I bet he still wants to be a millionaire. That's a tough job for a guy who hasn't quite made it yet. How long have you been a member? A member? Oh, my grandfather died and gave me the jacket. So 14 years. It's a member's only jacket if you can't read the crowd. Is that really your grandpa's jacket? I have the same one, except I just recently bought it.

All right. Looks like your grandpa sort of stretched it out before he gave it to you. Yeah, he was a bigger guy. Really? But I like the jacket, so I'm keeping it. It looks great. So how much money did you take home from the show? $5,000.

$5,000, that's it? Yeah, man, it's a lot of money. That was your big fucking opportunity. Did you ask the audience on this show? $5,000. $5,000, that's it? Yeah, man. That was your big fucking opportunity. Did you ask the audience on this question? I did, and they were wrong. And what did they say? They said Nova Scotia. Of course they said Nova Scotia.

They're a bunch of fucking idiots. Well, I mean, to be fair, all right, here was my reasoning. Dude, that's almost a million dollars short of a millionaire. Yeah. It's crazy. It's rough. You're not much better off from before you went in. And after taxes. You are closer to homeless than you are millionaire. Yeah. It's crazy. It's rough. You're not much better off from before you went in.

And after taxes. You are closer to homeless than you are millionaire. Yeah. My reasoning was just, you know, Nova Scotia, it's a rock,

lowest population of the four by a long shot. British Columbia has like four million. Didn't really think about the West thing. I know it's far West.

Didn't occur to me that they would do it the same way America did because Canada was founded later. He's going to hang thing. I know it's far West. Didn't occur to me that they would do it the same way America did because Canada was founded later. He's going to hang himself. I'm telling you right now. There's no way he doesn't end this in death. Did you do that boring talk out on the show?

I was a little more interesting on the show. Really? What did you talk about on the show? He asked the audience and they just booed him. I don't know. I was just like, I don't know. I'm very nervous. You played that role. Party machine, Isaac Hirsch. Was it like when you got the call that you were going to be on?

You didn't know, right? You were waiting for a while. You submitted. It was like probably when and how. What happened was I auditioned way before. You were a young homeless kid in India. I'm leaving, actually. I'm done. I can't do it anymore.

I auditioned. Lewis, of course, talking about the movie Lion. I found out I was going to be on the show. I went down to Vegas. You have to pay your own way and get your own hotel. We were there all day. They're like, are you guys ready to go? down to Vegas. You have to pay your own way and get your own hotel. And I went and we were there all day and then they're like aren't you guys ready to go? And we're like yeah we're ready

to go. He wasn't even on the show. He just went into some old billionaire's hotel room to take your clothes off. You're down money. Yeah so I was down money and I'm still down money because I don't get paid for another like 30 days. Wow really? Yeah. We go and they go alright alright, you guys ready?

We're like, we're ready. And then they're like, alright. Oh, we just wrapped for the day. You're going to have to come back in a couple weeks. I had to drive back down to Vegas, get another hotel room. Did they reimburse you for that? No, but I'm going to get money eventually. Wow, those corporations. What network does that air on?

What network does that air on? It's syndicated. It just airs wherever it fits. It's like a daytime show. They said, come back in a couple weeks. Will you be flying A, Southwest, B, Delta, C, United, D, Spirit? The answer is D, Spirit. Now I see why Tommy Chong isn't the host of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. He gives away the answer accidentally at the end without even noticing.

You're very charismatic for such a nerdy guy. Yeah. Thank you. And also, we didn't even talk about his comedy. That was fucking really funny. Good jokes. Oh, thank you. I will say, I've done this show three or four times.

I think you are literally the best person I've seen do it. Wow. Look at that. Sal trying to save a guy from killing himself live. I love that. No, that was fun, Isaac. All right. How's your love life?

Oh, boy. I've been on the show before. On this show? Yeah. We talked about that. We talked about sex for 30 minutes. Really? What did we talk about?

What was the most interesting part, you think? What's the part that you regret saying out loud? What was we talk about? What was the most interesting part, you think? What's the part that you regret saying out loud the most? All of it, but especially when I was initially getting into sex, I would just... I think I remember. I would just leave it in.

That soaked it. I soaked it. Hey, he remembers. Yeah, I remember you. You would just leave it in. Yeah. We don't have to rehash this, do we? I didn't know how to do it. Did your dick come out all wrinkled like it was in the bath for too long? Yeah. When you say you would just leave it in, do you mean you put it in erect and then no thrusting?

Yeah. Or do you mean that you finished and kept it in? No, no, the first thing. Wow. So you put it in. And then I was just like, I guess this first thing. So you put it in, and then you stayed to the end. This must be all there is. Wait, if I remember correctly,

the first time you did it, you put it in, you left it in, and then you pulled it out without even coming. Yeah. Wow, I remember that. That's crazy. I was just like, man, sex fucking blows. This sucks. That's like just putting a fucking turkey in the oven for Thanksgiving, and then just

pulling it out and throwing it in the trash. Like you did all that work. More than you'd ever know. Left it in the oven at a high temperature and then just wasted it for absolutely nothing. Have you had sex since then? Yeah, yeah. A lot better now, right?

Sometimes, yeah. So we know the worst thing, obviously, you've ever done in the bedroom. What's the coolest thing? What's your highlight where you're like, whoa. I bet you he's – this is the thing. Skinny dudes, huge dicks all the time. Bet you this guy's got a big, fat dick. Now he's going to hang himself.

Now you've put him over the edge. It's a regular penis for the most part. Pull it out. Come on, dude. There's no way I'm – Pull it out dude Pull it out come on dude Pull it out Pull it out The comedians really want this to happen Pull out your dick dude There's no way I'm going to be hard right now No pull it out soft

I'll get it hard Nah I mean you can't really Just spit some coffee on it It's a regular penis It's a regular penis. It just sometimes, you know... It's a regular penis? It's a regular...

It's not unleaded or premium? No, no, it's irregular. Like, one of the balls are longer than the other one. What is your ball situation, Isaac, since we're into this? Normal. Normal? How do you know what normal balls look like, Isaac? I've seen some balls.

I've been to the gym. I have a question. Yeah. But you know how sex... Hold on. No, you haven't. Yeah, I have. The gym's the fuck up.

You know how sex works, though, right? Yeah. I'm just wondering why you put it in and kept it in as opposed to... Well, I didn't then. I had no idea. Oh, so we're talking about... I didn't watch porn until I was like 22. Oh, we're talking about a long time ago then.

Lord, that is one slow internet feed. This was like when I was 20. Yeah, but at 20 years old, you didn't know that you were supposed to go in and out? He's 24. This is four years ago. At 20 years old, you didn't know that you were supposed to go in and out? No. Why would I know that?

No one told me that. Yeah, you go in and out, animal style. Wow, that's fascinating to me. All I knew was that you put it in. You didn't hang out in the schoolyard and hear people talk? No, why would anyone talk about sex with me? Wow. So what's the coolest thing you've ever done in the bedroom?

Well, I mean, this is sort of an extension of the bad stuff I do in the bedroom. Just more bad stuff, okay. Well, yeah, there's so much bad stuff. But sometimes, you know, it won't go in. I don't know why. Long story. What do you mean? It just won't go in a vagina.

Why is it a long story? How is that a long story? I want to know how that's a long story. I've heard of some long stories. Kill Bill when the execs saw it. They're like, we have to split this into two fucking movies. I want to know how long of a story your penis not going into a vagina can be. Can you tell it in its longest form?

I'll give you the entire episode of the show. No, I don't want to. Is it dry? No, no. Is it dry or is there too much lip? Let him answer. Stop just saying dirty words. There are a lot of theories.

Those are two good ones. I've done it multiple times. I think with three women now where we've tried to have sex and just won't go on. At the same time? No, I wish. Man, my penis won't fit into any of your vaginas. This is the worst threesome ever. I guess I'm just going to sit over here

and soak in the glory. I mean, one of the theories is that you have three women who have smaller than average vaginas. That could be it, but I don't think it is. I mean, one of the theories is that you have three women who have smaller than average vaginas. That could be it, but I don't think it is. I think you just gotta lube it up a little. What do you mean? The next time I'm with a woman, that's my plan. Try to spit on it.

What do you mean it's not going in? Be more descriptive. You put the penis over the part in which you think the vagina is. My penis is, yes. And then what do you do? Turns out it's another penis. I know this vagina is all veiny.

It's got balls. Inside out. My penis. What was that? Dude, her clit is like seven inches long and it's coming all over my face. Yeah. It's ready to go. My penis is ready to go. My penis is ready to go.

She is... Penis is ready to go. Like a Domino's order on stage four on your phone. It's like, it's on the way. On the...

Ready to go. Do you call it a penis, by the way? Like, you call it a penis? I call it a dick in the bedroom. I'm not a... I'm not a...

Oh, shit. Give us an example. Dude, that should be the name of your first comedy on dick in the bedroom. Can you give us an example That should be the name of your first comedy Dick in the bedroom Can you give us an example of something dirty That you've said in the bedroom You seem like such a good guy

I don't like math I don't want to hear it You're on top of me You're about to put your dick in me Come on Give us an example You said you say dick in the bedroom. Give us an example.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to... Come on. Let it out, Isaac. I'm going to put my cock in you. Oh! You proved. You said dick at dinner. And then you say, never mind.

I'm going to put my cock in you And that's it I'm gonna leave it there I'm gonna leave it there That's all the dirty talk I'm gonna put my cock in you Radio silence Oh shit

It doesn't go in The girl couldn't help offer a solution. What do you mean? She would try to put it in, too. It just won't go in. You have a huge cock. That's one of the theories. That's not true, though.

How long is your dick? It's like six, five and a half. That's not big at all. Yeah, I know. I said. I said. I shook my head no. Is it wide?

Is it girthy? It can't be hard. He's probably got that half, 50% hard. My dick looks like me. It's long and thin. Not really long, but shook my head no. Is it wide? Is it girthy? It can't be hard. He's probably got that half, 50% hard. My dick looks like me. It's long and thin. Not really long, but it's spindly. Does it have an elbow when it goes in? Dude, this is kind of gross, but spit into your fingers a little bit and then rub the pussy.

Yeah, I think my best guess. Let me ask you this, Isaac. Definitely. First of all, that Tommy Chong is absolutely correct. And also, you can go down on the girl, too. Or you could have her put your penis in her mouth, and you could even

leave it there. Dude, there was like three or four things you could do. This is my impression of Isaac eating pussy. Look, I got a couple hypotheses. Don't say that word in the bedroom, Isaac. You won't be able to get it in any pussy. That's what he said when he couldn't get it.

He's like, alright, I have a couple of hypotheses. You are circumcised, right? You are circumcised. Big? You are circumcised. Big helmet. Is the helmet really big? Are we talking about Darth Vader or the wrestling gear? Just pull your dick out, Isaac. It's a big helmet like in Spaceballs.

Rick Moranis over here. I will tell you this. You are through the roof likable. Through the roof. You were an amazing guest and so much fun to get to meet and hang out with. you are through the roof likable. Yeah. Through the roof. And you were an amazing guest and so much fun to get to meet and hang out with, and you got the show bumping right from the very beginning. Isaac Hirsch, ladies and gentlemen.

Boom. What is this? What does this say? He's on Twitter at IB Hirsch. All one word. H-I-R-S-C-H. Right, ladies. Five and a half inches, $5,000.

Woo. Yeah. Who wants to be a thousandaire? Bill Nye, my pussy's dry. Joel Berg. Alright, I'm going to pull another name out of the bucket. We're all going to keep fucking making noise and having fun. Put your hands together for Justin Young.

Oh, no Justin Young. Yikes. Forever Young. Very controversial. Put your hands together for Will Leach. for Will Leach. Here he comes from the very back of the room. Will Leach, everybody.

Come on, put your hands together for him. So my mom called me earlier today and she said, I couldn't get a hold of your big brother. You probably can't, but maybe you could help. I can't remember my password for the Internet. I said, Mom, that could be pretty much any random combinations of letters, characters, and numbers, but have you tried my brother's name?

Followed by the number sign. Followed by the number sign. Followed by the number one. Clickety-click, clickety-click, she goes, oh my God, you got it. I said, Mom, you know what? I've gotten that for a few years now. Where are my clever people at? She then said to me, she goes,

you know what, I'm still not online. I don't know what's going on. I said, sometimes, Mom, you gotta unplug the internet and then plug it back in. She turned to me, she goes, you know what, I'm still not online. I don't know what's going on. I said, sometimes, Mom, you've got to unplug the Internet and then plug it back in. She turned to me and she said, the whole Internet? I said, yeah, the whole Internet. But don't have that thing off for more than 30 seconds because, you know what, the banks, the airlines, a lot of people rely on that. And, Mom, you know what?

Tonight you can watch your other son on the number one live streaming podcast in the... Mom? Mom. Will Leach, ladies and gentlemen. Fuck yeah. One of the funniest doctors in all of show business. How are you, Will? Awesome.

How do you feel about that? I don't really get it. I don't get what you were trying to say. Don't Willie? Hey, Bill Leach, man. Like your name, that sucked. You just got roasted by Tommy Chong, man. Hardcore.

Last time he was here, he did really good. Yeah, it was your first time, right? Yeah. You were here for that? Was that during sales? You looked familiar. Oh, that's great. I just said, you know what, dude? Yeah. And you were here for that? Was that during sales? You looked familiar. Oh, that's great. I just said, you know what, dude?

Your mom's alive. That's cool. That's awesome. Thank you. Oops. Have you been performing since the last time you were here? Other places? Yeah, I have done a bit back home in Vancouver.

Oh, very cool. That's where you live? Yeah. Awesome. Vancouver, by the way, is a part of British Columbia, the last of the provinces. Canada trivia. The learning lesson is that first bit from here tonight was the first time, so that's a lesson. Yeah.

That was not the right bit. Sometimes that happens. Yeah. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's horrendous. Mm-hmm. How old is your mom? 78. What do you do for work again? Insurance. Insurance. Yeah. How old is your mom? 78 What do you do for work again?

Insurance What kind? Life, disability, all the stuff that people run to the exits for Tommy Chong, you just laughed at that You just laughed at his answer of life Alright, let's see if anyone gets this Phil, hey Phil, Phil Connors

I thought that was you Ned Ryerson! Needle nose Ned. Ned the head. Come on, buddy! Come on! Case Western High! Ned Ryerson! I did the whistling belly button trick with the high school talent show. Bing! Ned Ryerson! Okay, that's enough.

Yeah, I get it. That's from Groundhog Day. Imagine we woke up every day and had to watch that set over and over again. Will Leach, have you ever just put your penis in a vagina and left it there? Never. Never? Never.

Are you married? I am. You have kids? None. Just pounding away and pulling out? Shooting blanks. What'd you say? Shooting blanks. Shooting blanks. What'd you say? Shooting blanks.

Shooting blanks. Not too real. Phil's reaction was like, yeah, I am. I wish I could have had a kid a long time ago. I probably would have never had to get into this midlife crisis. How long have you been with the same woman? 20

years. 20 years. And out of all those 20 years, have you ever had a problem getting it inside of her vagina? Lifetime zero. Wow. Lifetime zero. Isaac, are you hearing this? We don't know how

big his wife's vagina is. That's true. Does your wife have a big vagina? No comment. I really think he's trying to put it in the girl's butt the whole time. He really thinks it's right below it. Or the belly button. Perhaps it could be the belly button.

I just can't explain why it won't go inside. Please let me put it in your butt. I have a question. That was the song the last time, 199. I want to see if I can track the jokes I might have missed a line But I didn't get the first joke The bit was

My mom couldn't get a hold of my older brother Was looking for a password for the internet Oh, he's the number one son Can you just start over and do the whole thing again? Oh Do the joke again So the joke is just a basic password. The password is my brother's name,

the number one sign, and the number one. Gotcha. She said, you got it, and he's like, I've gotten it for a long time. As in, he's known that his brother's number one. You can't use the hashtag and a password usually, though. That's a good point. No symbols, Bill.

It's just numbers and letters. That was distracting to everyone. They were all thinking that. Was there at least one cap? And then you gave a shout out to like Falcon or somebody at the end of the, like you said. No, he shouted out clever people. Then he called everyone who didn't laugh at the joke unclever. So everyone went, fuck you, dude.

Yeah. I hope your next joke bombs. And that's what happened. We all just joke bombs. And that's what happened. We all just lived through that. That's what happened. It happens sometimes. I think you need a couple of sentences in there to just clarify that. It is a clever concept, but it didn't read with me.

No, and clearly not with these people either. Whoa. What do you mean, these people? These peons. These people, man. I hope they beat the shit out of you after the show. I hope the crowd jumps you. I really do. I would say more like the delivery

didn't work with these people either. Wow, I love, I almost like bad guy Will Leach more than good guy. He's doing like a pro wrestling heel turn right now. Let's roll with this a little bit. Be a little bit meaner. Let's see if Spider-Man, right? Anybody want to get high?

Oh, yeah, I'd love to get high. Sure. Tommy Chong, getting everybody high for you podcast listeners out there. Will, be mean to the audience. You can roast somebody. If you were going to try to get them to not like you, what would you say? Obviously, this is your— Go to this guy right here, right in the front row.

Start roasting, Will. Yeah, be mean. I would probably say this guy here. I'd challenge him to go fight outside, but he's got a huge advantage because that's probably where he'll sleep tonight. Oh! That was pretty good. All right, you targeted one guy.

I want you to tell this audience what you really think of them, though. Like, obviously you think they're stupid. So in your own way, tell them. I don't think you guys are. I think we're having a lot of fun tonight. But I want to hear bad guy Will Leach. Bad guy Will, ooh. Can I talk about Joelberg for a minute?

No. Okay. No, man. No, man. Will, do you like America? He's my friend, man. How often do you come here? Probably four or five times a year.

How often do you stay usually? Four or five times a year. What I mean, like, how often do you stay in those four or five times a year? Is it like a one-day trip, a week? Usually four or five days, yeah, each time. Do you come with the wife? Usually with the wife, yeah. Are you with the wife this time? I'm not, no.

Oh, shit. Imagine she was here right now, how uncomfortable that would be. She would never get wet for him again. That's it. I get the not going in, he says next time. Yeah. Your Sam's wife this week, is that a version of Will Unleashed? What are you doing this week alone?

Well, last time she was here and it didn't go this bad, so maybe she's the key to this working out. If that wasn't my question at all, Will. By the way, she's never the key to your performance, unless she wrote that dog shit that you said earlier. And it's not dog shit. It was just a lot of math, and I'm just fucking around. It comes from a real place, so I'm just busting your balls.

I sort of feel mean. It makes it mean when I feel like I'm talking to a real Canadian. You seem like such a nice guy, Will. What's the meanest, most evil thing about you? I raped a 10-year-old. This is being recorded, so I can't speak to that. Okay, well, what's the second, third, or fourth? Wow, he just winked.

A point and a wink? He just winked at Louis J. Cummings. On pedophile rape, you got a point and shoot and a wink. I was winking at Sal who said, is this a guy's trip? Earlier, I was just a little slow on the answer. Nothing to do with that. I don't know what's going on. I think there's a lot of felonies going on on this stage tonight.

You got somebody in your freezer. Will, all right. What's your favorite thing to do when you're not doing comedy and not working on insurance? Being an earthworm. Joel Jimenez. Recycling from the last time I was here. Oh, Will Leach taking shots at the throne.

Yeah, and it was good back then, too. All right, sorry I used a good joke twiceach taking shots at the throat. It was good back then too. Sorry I used a good joke twice. You should try it sometime. Joel Burke. Boy, Isaac Hirsch really grew up quickly. Don't you got to be an extra tomorrow? Joel Burke.

Ladies and gentlemen, that's what you're going to learn the longer you do You just started doing stand-up a couple months ago, right? The longer you do this, the more you're going to learn There's high highs and sometimes there's fucking low lows and that shit never ends You're at the beginning of realizing that

and that's what makes the high highs so fun when you have them and you're able to control them, is you're going to be able to look back on nights like this and go, wow, it was never that bad again. Put your hands together for Will Leach, everybody. There he goes. He's on Twitter at IWillJoke, all one word.

He's a Canadian. Canadians still talk to their mom when they get that age. He was funny. Yeah, man. It felt mean, but it was all good. You're all good, man. Thanks, Tommy.

I actually know this guy. Put your hands together for Shane Smith, everyone. I'm here visiting from Salt Lake City. In Salt Lake, I live across the street from a 7-Eleven. I'm in there all the time. I like to drink Mountain Dew. It's basically my only vice. I'm in that 7-Eleven so often that the guys who work there, they have a nickname for me.

They call me Mountain Dew Guy. Do you guys know how much Mountain Dew you have to drink not to have the nickname Throat Tattoo Guy? Yes. It is a lot. For them to be like, you know what? The most interesting thing about this guy is not that he ruined his life by tattooing his throat

and face. Drinks a lot of soda, so. Still 30 seconds. Alright. There you go. Let's just talk to you. Short and sweet. Let's just talk to you. Now you're a guest on a podcast. I know Still 30 seconds. All right. There you go. Short and sweet. Let's just talk to you. Now you're a guest on a podcast.

I know, Shane, we did some shows together in Salt Lake City at the Wise Guys, where I'm also going to be June 2nd and 3rd, by the way. A little sliding it in there. Before I fly directly to San Francisco to host this year's High Times Cannabis Cup. Anyway, back to you, Shane Smith. That's fucking hilarious. There you go. It was just a minute right then, by the way. You did 30 seconds, but that was great. Let's talk about it.

You seem like you've been through a lot of shit in your life. A little bit. You're like if Superman turned back to Clark Kent and then got fired at the newspaper job and then all of a sudden found heroin and then got it all back together after that but couldn't turn back into Superman. Sure, yeah.

That makes about sense. He was never able to get the needle in his arm, but he could snort it. Yeah, yeah. No drugs, but I've been through it. Really? Yeah, yeah. Normally I feel like, and maybe this is just obviously stereotyping, but the full neck tattoo, I feel like that's always like a recovery thing.

That's hugely molested. Yeah. Like, really, like a bunch of dicks. This is. Is that true? Wait, what? Is that a thing? A molestation thing?

Were you molested or anything as a kid? Yeah, a little bit. Really? I had a nightmare childhood. Just like a pinky. Do you have a problem talking about it? No, I don't have a problem talking about it. It was a nightmare for you, but it was a dream for your uncle.

Oh, shit. Well, then let's talk about it a little bit. What do you mean you had a fucked up childhood? Let's get into it. Man, you are the opposite interview of Will Leach, by the way. Will Leach, go get a fucking neck tattoo, you goddamn Canadian. Oh, man. How do you change his name to Won't Leach? Yeah, I grew up, my mom struggled

with substances and she married a bunch of guys, some of which were the sergeant in arms of biker gangs. And so I grew up around professional criminals. And my stepdad actually recently got arrested for murdering someone. And thank you,

whoever clapped. That's good. What is that? Where does it start getting weird, man? And so, you know, my mom was just like one of those ladies who was like crazy. She'd be like, don't let anyone disrespect you. You go to fucking prison before someone disrespects you. And I'm like,

okay, I'm going to second grade now. Your mom was Puerto Rican? That's a fucking bit. Are you kidding me? That's great. Yeah, it is. In all honesty, one story is an example. We got caught.

Someone was bullying me and my brothers. I had three brothers growing up. And my mom found out he was bullying us. So she took us to his house. And she was like, you guys are going to fight him. And so she made us go to the door and invite him out to play. And then the idea was that we were going to jump him all together in front of his parents. Your mother shook night?

No, my mom. Yeah, no. We literally invite him out. And he's like, hey. He's like, what's going on, guys? And my mom's in the car like, run this shit. Like, do it. His mom's not shook night, but his dad is on death row.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, Joel Berg. My God. For those of you keeping track on your Kill Tony bingo cards, that's Joel Jimenez, a.k.a. Joel Berg, reclaiming the streak. Yeah. Shane, you are fascinating. Yeah.

You should be a comic. That's like an hour right there. Dude, I am a comic. You are a good comic, by the way. That was great. That was really funny. I applied for Skank Fest. No answer. No. Dude, you're fucking in. It doesn't matter. I swear to God, you're in.

Really? No way. Yes, you're fucking in. Wow, he's in Skank Fest now. Just became part of a festival. You're going to have to share a room with Red Band. All I had to do was fly to L.A. from Salt Lake, randomly get on the show and talk to you. And now you're just going to randomly fly yourself to New York. I would love to have you on it because that was incredible

and I think your story is great. My mom was the same fucking psycho who would bring me house to house to beat up my fucking bullies while she smoked cigarettes and watched me. There's more than that. So you really? I've never met someone else. We might be brothers. Dude, fuck you. Dude, my mom is up to some shit.

It is possible. My mom was also a whore, so let's see. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, mine too. My mom was also a whore, so let's see. Yeah, mine too. My mom also started an entire, what's a riot at a little league baseball game that I was playing at. What?

Yeah, it was an interesting thing. So it's the end of the baseball game, really tight game. This is fucking Youngstown, Ohio, and I think I'm like 12 or 13 at the time. They were using you as a bet? Yes, that was me. Was the game so tight you couldn't get in? Continue. Okay. My mom ended up

in an unheard of maneuver. There was this African-American woman who, when the game ended and we won by like one point, goes, you guys are all a bunch of cheaters or something like that. There was some close call, and she was being really aggressive. And my mom, in public, at a baseball game, in an unheard of maneuver.

Thank you, Tommy Chong. You have the comedic delivery of a hijacker of a show. Yes, she dropped the N-word. In front of my entire baseball team and in front of that African-American woman and her husband who was waiting on the sideline. Thank God it wasn't a basketball game.

Was a sheriff. Yes. And the lady that my mom called the N-word was a judo instructor. My mom got her ass beat in front of all my friends yeah your mom got yeah this was this was obviously like 20 years ago holy shit they had this young that's youngstown shit though like it's a different type of n-word out there where uh my mom's a thug too she's 75 now so that would have put her at like 55 then Did she hit throw her? Did she go over the top? My mom's a thug too She's 75 now

So that would have put her at like 55 then Wow A black judo expert Yeah My mom didn't know she was a judo instructor Until she said the n-word That's when she found out There wasn't like judo instructor on the ladies t-shirt

That's legitimately why I don't say the N-word anymore. I don't know who's a judo instructor or not. It's true. It's usually not N-word. No, no. You got to be careful. She was a bludo instructor. It ended up being an entire brawl between both.

That's how it started was my mom and this lady. Cut to her husband coming up to break it up and my head coach getting in. And then every sideline and every kid was fighting. We were pulling our moms off of one another. It was ridiculous. Oh, man. Shane, you inspired me to. A good old-fashioned race war.

I love it. Talk about that for the first time. Yeah, yeah. One interesting fact. I'm actually staying with Isaac while I'm here in town. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow.

Yeah, it's weird that we're both up here. Yeah. So can he fidget to your asshole? I'm also confused about his penis, by the way. I'm going to find out. You're going to have to explain to Isaac. You're going to have to tell Isaac at some point that you're going to skank fest from your appearance on tonight's show. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

And then you're going to notice that a belt is missing out of your suitcase. Also, after the show, I'm going to show you that you went through to like one or two rounds where people were like, we really liked you. I'm going to show you emails proving that to you. Because you're very fucking funny and I'll remember you after you said that.

You're a fucking great dude. So I'm not even just doing that as a pity thing because I feel bad for your terrible childhood. I legitimately think you're funny. Kill dude. So I'm not even just doing that as a pity thing because I feel bad for your terrible childhood. I legitimately think you're fucking great. Kill Tony, make dreams come true. Fuck yeah, man. And there you go. Sure, there you go.

Shane Smith, everybody. Going to motherfucking Skank Fest. One of the coolest comedy festivals in the entire world. He's in it. That's how showbiz works, motherfuckers. I'm never going to answer his email. Tony, how old were you during that brawl? I think I was 11 or 12 And did it change you?

Did you have PTSD from that? No, that was I'm telling you My hometown was fucking ridiculous I have stories never ending crazy shit like that You have to look up Youngstown I used to go through it PTSD from my mom My mom mortified me In my first month of high school You have to look up Youngstown. I used to go through it. Yeah, through it.

My mom mortified me in my first month of high school, and I went missing for like a day. Really? I ran from the scene, and she couldn't find me for a day. I stayed at a friend's house. She showed up at the train station that I went to school in, which all the other kids went to school in too. School starts in September, so it was Halloween, so we were in school a month.

She showed up with my sister. She thought it would be funny. She showed up dressed as Homie the Clown. She showed up where? At the train station. Homie the Clown. Dressed as Homie the Clown from In Living Color. Homie, don't play that.

Please. I have pictures. Tell me she's in blackface. No, no. Homie wasn't in blackface. Homie the Clown? He's in clown makeup. Well. Homie wasn't in blackface. Homie the clown? He's in clown makeup. He's black.

But we love this. You put the blackface on and then the clown makeup over the blackface. I love the show. That's the way you have to do it. I love the show. So she thought it would be fun. And then she was like, hey, Sal. And I'm looking at a clown.

I didn't realize it was my mother. Oh, my God. And I saw my sister with a clown. It was very quick. And then everybody was standing there waiting. We just got off the train. I just was like. And I literally looked at something out of a movie. I dropped my sister with a clown. It was very quick, and then everybody was standing there waiting. We just got off the train, and I just was like... And I literally looked at something out of a movie. I dropped my school bag, I turned, and I ran,

and then they didn't see me for a day. To this day, I was like, what were you thinking? And that mortified you. Mortified. Yeah, one time I walked up to my mother doing heroin in her car. Same thing. Really? Kind of same.

Is that true? They both embarrassed us in our own way. Yeah. This is my truth, Louis. And still, no neck tattoos. My mom sold Avon. Back to the bucket we go. Ooh, I love one-word

names. That's always foreshadowing. There's no Twitter handle here either, so that means we're about to find out everything we need to know about Landon. Please be here, Landon. Is that Landon? Is this Landon? Nope.

Is this Landon? Are you Landon? Nope. Is this Landon? Are you Landon? Hi. Okay. So I said the F word in West Hollywood like a week ago. It was really awkward and I was at the bar and I was like, fuck?

And it confused me so I decided I wanted to just sing a song because I'm really stoned. I want to tell you about Texas radio and the big beat. Driven into your soft perimeter of your sacred and your sincere smile. Stoned and welcomed. I just, you know, I think this is the theater and that's all I gotta say. Fuck yeah. There you go.

Give it up for Jim Jim Borson You son of a bitch Tied you There you go The lead singer of the Bores The time to give up On comedy is now.

Still better than Will Each. I don't really want to be a comic. I just really wanted to say something. I get it. That's no problem with that. You look like a fucking rock star. You seem like you have an interesting ass life. What are you into when you're...

What are you into? What do you do? What do you do that hair in front of? Do you rub a magical ball and it just ends up like that? Like an electrical ball or something? I have a convertible. A convertible? Do you?

Is that convertible also a spaceship from another planet? I was going to say, did you come here on a time machine? I feel like there's something about this guy that I like in a weird way. I know. If you've ever been a fan of... It's a fucking ball of mystery. I've got to crack this thing.

If you've ever been a fan of rock and roll or professional wrestling, he reminds you of somebody you know. He reminds me of a guy who would finger your girlfriend and give her a UTI with Cheetos on his fingers. Do you... No, that only happened to you, Louis J. Gomez. Do you think... No, he doesn't.

Do you think you're levitating right now? Yes. You're on like Molly or something, right? You have to be. Probably like LSD. You're on LSD? Okay, right? You have to be. Probably like LSD. You're on LSD? Okay, that's cool.

Are you? Are you really, Landon? Or is that like a character that you do? Well, I mean like it could be like a residual acid trip. Where are you from? I'm from like Orange County. Orange County. Before that, Texas.

Hold on. Listen to me. He's not acting. If he was this good of an actor, he wouldn't be here right now. He'd have a job, okay? This is real. He'd be Velkir. Yeah. Really what I want to do is just sing with these two guys and plan a band.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Plan a band. That's very rock and roll. Plan a band. What do you do? What do you do? I'm a movie director. Are you really? What's the name of I'm a movie director. Are you really?

What's the name of some of the movies that you've directed? Jurassic Park. Dude, maybe they'll believe me. Do you guys want to play a song? Hey, Landon. Landon, over here. Focus over here. Don't get distracted by them. I just want to play a song for you guys.

What do you want to play? You already did. What else are you into, Landon? Landon, over here. Don't get distracted by them. I just want to play a song for you guys. You already did. What else are you into, Landon? Landon, over here, Landon. Don't look back over at the band. They're not doing anything. It's a complex thing. We're going to get to it in a second. To the right. Anything that just doesn't have any meaning

and any activity that is just pure of any meaning. Will Weech's act? Do you have crystals in your underwear right now? No. Landon, when you said you're a movie director, that's cool. Is that something you like to do?

I'm wondering how you pay your bills. Well, like the first act, man, I don't have a job. What's the last job that you had? I was a bartender at the Venezuela. The Venezuela? The Venezuela. Somebody knows what that is? Oh, wow.

Have you ever seen this guy there? No. None of your stories are checking out, Landon. What else have you done? What else have you done for work? How long were you a bartender at the Venezuela? Probably like three months, man. Did you get fired?

I decided to quit and move to Sunset. You got fired? No, I didn't get fired. I just walked out. You were like, this is the end. Seriously. This is the end. Landon.

Yeah, buddy. I'm fascinated by you. How do you pay your bills like right now? Well, like right now I was living off of whatever money I made there. I got evicted out of my apartment, so I decided to just save money. When did you get evicted? March, May. March, May.

It's a two-month window of difference there. We're still in May, by the way, right now, Landon. How old are you, Landon? 22. Of course. All right, cool. March or May? Two months ago or last week?

That's the window. That's where your memory is right now? Yeah, man. I'm just kind of going really fast here. You know April's in between those two months? Did you know that? There's a whole other thing. My girlfriend broke up with me in April.

My girlfriend's name is April. This is a real. So we're like seeing a real. There's a timeline of events here. You lose your job at the Venezuela, right? Wow. This is a real – so we're like seeing a real – there's a timeline of events here. You lose your job at the – It's falling apart. You lose your job at the Venezuela, right? You lose your girlfriend.

You get evicted out of your apartment. Then this. Yes, and then we're here right now. Where are you from originally? You said Texas. Orange County. I was born in Mission Viejo. Do you – you seem very, very easygoing and laid back.

Do you have any anxieties or worries? Are you completely carefree? Have you mastered something that we don't know? You seem very carefree. I think it stems from just a desire to make a movie or something as a young person. And through that, you dissolve everything through every other expression. Well, my parents pay my bills,

so I don't have much to worry about. Do you come from money, Landon? Do your parents have money? Yeah. A lot of more people saying yes out there than people that have seen you at the Venezuela. I heard three yeses. What do your parents do for work?

My dad's a tailor and he sells suits. Nice suits. And my mom is a stay-at-home nanny at a place. Wow. She stays at home. So your dad must be Johnny Bench for Men's Warehouse. I'm sure, yeah. Do we know him?

Is he famous? Taylor? Taylor Swift famous? Taylor? Taylor Swift? Jonathan Taylor Thomas. He's like, you might know my dad. You're gonna like the way you look. Can you hold this man?

He guarantees it. Oh, no. Oh, no. He's making penis colonics. Okay, hit the button so that it doesn't There we go Yeah it worked there you go

That was a ticking time bomb if I've ever seen one before Here Landon hold this thing that's stirring a drink At a fast rate Okay so Honest to god Really? Go ahead Honest to god what?

Honest to god this entire atmosphere Really? Really. Go ahead. Honest to God what? Honest to God, this entire atmosphere is something to be, like, marveled at. We fucking agree, dude. Tony, he should just join the band. Can you play the saxophone? No, but I can, like, sing, can sing, but way worse than you can sing. What? I just would like to. I played a cliche.

I'm a rocker. Have you ever been in a band? Landon, stick with me. Have you ever been in a band? No, I've just played with roommates and friends out here. A lot. I have friends in bands, and it inspired me. So where have you been living since you've been evicted?

Oh, I've been living up with my mom. She lives in Laurel Canyon. Oh, Laurel Canyon. She's living in with these people, and I'm living in her bedroom with her. Oh, she brought you into some fucking family's home? Yeah. This drug addict is just sneaking in late at night?

Wait, where exactly in Laurel Canyon is this? Can I take a guess? Maybe Wonderland? Yeah, Wonderland Avenue and Green Valley and all that. Only three people got that. All right, very good. It was totally worth it. If you had to choose one, you'd get to fucking sing in a band, you'd get to direct your movie.

Which do you choose? I choose to direct my movie. Holy shit. Have you ever shot anything? Have you ever shot anything like short films or anything? Just heroin. You made a lot? I've made a lot of movies.

What do you mean you've made a lot of movies? I've made a lot of stuff that's on YouTube. I want to see it right now. What's your YouTube channel? Can you name one of the movies that we could look it up? Yeah, I mean it's just like Landon in the Space of Sky. It's like Earth. It's not my name. Wow, you're quite like Landon in the space of sky. It's like Earth, you know. It's not my name.

Wow, you're quite the Landon in the space of sky. It's a production thing. Landon in the sky. Landon, you know why everyone's laughing? Because you're so sincere, and the funniest things are the most honest things, and you're very honest. I'm not laughing at you.

I'm literally laughing with you. You're fascinating, man. Landon's not laughing. Can you pitch us more about your movie? Landon, pretend like we're executives and tell us why we should give you... Just rush your chin right there. Rush your chin. Go ahead. Landon, stick with me over here.

So we're studio executives, and we want you to pitch us on a movie idea that you have. We're about to give you... If you sell us on it, we're going to give you, you know, $50 million to make Landon in the space of sky. Tell us what the idea is and tell us why we should believe in you

and give you this studio money. It's a Terrence Malick sort of inspired movie about, Who the fuck is Terrence Malick? Hold on, just let him go, I want to hear this.

I don't know who that is. I want to hear this ticking time bomb. like, you know, like, esoteric music mix with classic rock and rap music. It's a movie about time and space as Terrence Malick would have directed it.

If we were going to find it on YouTube right now, what would we type into the YouTube search bar exactly? You could call it their moment. What is it called? You wouldn't write this right now. This would be how we would find the thing that you already said is on YouTube. I think perhaps when you said Landon in the Space and Sky, you weren't guessing that we have powerful Wi-Fi connection right now. And Fred Bannon with multiple keyboards in front of him was furiously typing

like a courtroom reporter waiting to find this movie. I think that movie is in the space and sky. It's called Landon in the space and sky. Landon. Hey, Landon. Landon. Hey, Landon. I have a question.

How did you find out about this show? And then knowing that it's about stand-up, what made you decide to put your name in the bucket knowing you weren't going to do stand-up? I was hanging out with a friend who has a lot of balls to always come over here and put his name in the bucket knowing you weren't going to do stand-up? I was hanging out with a friend who has a lot of balls to always come over here and put his name in the bucket. I would much rather be listening to the music at the Viper Room, but this is probably ten times as better than that could ever be. Right. It started out as knocking the show, and then in the middle of it,

he realized that he was saying something dicky about the show and flip-flopped it into a compliment. I'd much rather be watching music at the Viper Room, but this is ten times better than that. Landon's not the kind of guy that does the thing that he, you know, wants to do.

That was some fucking mental jujitsu right there. That I'm being pulled to be doing, you know? That was unbelievable. Oh, try to use the force on us, Landon. How did you find this place today? With my feet. This place found me, man.

Yeah. Actually, I really want to reopen the Roadhouse Blues across the street. Of course. My own rock and roll club. The Roadhouse Blues, yeah. That's how I found this place. That's what it's called.

You got to pick a lane, Landon. You can't be a fucking club owner and a director and a singer in a fucking band with your roommates. Landon, I'm gonna ask you a question. I want you to tell me the truth. You ready? Okay. If we were gonna type into a search bar on YouTube

to find the movie that you said that you've already made, what would we type into that search bar? Just tell the truth, Landon. And if there's nothing there, it's okay. That's no problem. Just say I didn't make a movie yet. It's okay if you didn't. It would be called Their Moments.

Their Moments. Plural or singular, Landon? What goes on in your mind when you're looking at everything and bouncing your head off a microphone? Just space and time, man. Langdon, is there a movie on YouTube that you made? Yeah, it's Their Moment.

Their Moment. No. This isn't the movie, Brian. Is that Lexington Steel? Landon. It's a four-year-old kid. Landon, Landon, over here. You're starting to sing, Landon.

Stick with me. Stick with me. We're losing him, folks. Landon. Come on. Try again. What's the name of the video? Fair Moment on YouTube by Landon Sky.

Landon Sky. S-K-Y? Yes. Okay. Here we go. Is that your real last name? No. I just wanted to do a production thing of the Earth or something.

What's your real last name? What is my last name? Yeah. Landisburg. Arden. Arden? Without the G. It's like garden without the G.

That's a good name. Langdon Arden is a better name than Langdon Sky. Langdon Sky sounds like a fucking douchebag, right? Langdon Arden is a fucking cool guy. You want to hang out with him, smoke a joint. You know what's really funny is my friends were like, hey, man, you should just change it to Landon the Smog. How long is it? Talk about all the smog going on here, guys.

Oh yeah, that is funny. This is it? That's not the one I wanted, but... Oh, it looks terrible. It's about Venice Beach. It looks like a PowerPoint. No, you gotta... Alright, whatever. Whoa, this is terrible.

What did you direct this with? Your imagination? Films are collections of dead pictures which are given artificial insemination. Films. Film. I can't read it. You can't even read the font.

You need a better graphic overlay. This is just footage of you at a music festival. It's not a movie. Hey, man, you got to see my movie Coachella. That isn't a movie at all. That's just the longest vine I've ever seen in my life. You got to check out this movie I directed It's called Cell Phone Footage

Hey that film's really It's just too long and thoughtful And we just can't have time for it Are you fucking crazy? That's too long and thoughtful? It was cell phone footage Of your friends dancing Go back to your mic, Landon.

It's a fucking scary episode tonight. He ripped off his face. It's the Iron Patriot. By the way, normally this is a comedy show, not a horror movie. You guys came to a fun one. Let me offer something up, okay? It is super fucking hard to stand up here

and get judged by everyone, so I give you credit for that. I hope you take it in stride. It's all in fun, but it is hard to do what you're doing right now. Yeah. Shut up, Sal. No, don't take it in stride, dude. That was ridiculous. You need to stop telling people about that movie. This is good advice

I'm giving you right now, dude. You need to say, you need to go, hey, dude, you want to go check out me and my friends dancing on Acid? I can show you some fucking cell phone footage of that. But when you describe it as some fucking heady movie, we're expecting some shit. You're setting the bar too high. No, Sal, I got this. Stop.

You're fucking too nice. This isn't true TV, you asshole. We're a good cop, bad cop, you stupid dick. I'm doing what I'm doing so you can do what you do. Otherwise, you come up like the fucking asshole you are. I'm sorry, you're right. Mom, Dad, stop. Landon.

What would it be? Because I know you have a spirit animal. I just want to know what it would be. The wind man. Probably like a Leonard Skinner, like eagle mixed with a lion, so probably like a Gryffindor. Oh, my God. That'sffindor. Oh my god. That's one of the houses in Harry Potter.

It's not an animal. I just think it's funny. A Gryffindor is one of the houses in Harry Potter. You are straight up fucking Napoleon Dynamite right now. Sometimes, if I choose to be, man. Gryffindor also sounds like the cover band that Landon would be in. If he was Napoleon Dynamite, he'd be like, Tina, eat the acid!

Alright, it wasn't worth it. Alright, cool. Hopefully the next time I'm on a stage, I can do my own poetry. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have any short poetry? Do you think you guys would really care if I would ever do that? Can you not do your poetry? Can you think you guys would really care if I would ever do that? Can you not do your poetry?

Can you do somebody else's poetry? Sure. Sweet. This is actually a stand-up comedy show, though. You're supposed to do stand-up comedy. 100%. If you do poetry on here, we'll just cut the mic and play violins or something like that. I was just asking.

Well, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. If you deliver the poetry at a... Look at all these comics that would rather go up right now than listen to some guy on mushrooms. It's not on mushrooms. We can't just quote that. How many of those comics out there

are naturally as funny as this guy? Very few. I swear to Christ. No, I agree. This interview part's been incredible. I think you're dialing in a little bit, being a little less shy than you were even in the beginning. I'm always constantly shy. Is that true?

Do you get a lot of ladies? Add constantly shy. Have you taken any women back to your mom's house in the hills? No. Now? Where are you going, Landon? All right, there he goes, Landon, dismissing himself. I'll take it.

He felt it, too. He's going to say that he quit the show, that he didn't get fired. Dude, I'm going to be honest with you. He might actually be able to be a good director because he realized the moment that it was his time to go. That was just very natural. Roll credits. There goes this guy, back to his early flight back to Miami What is that?

Alright We're going to go back to the bucket in a second Let's get our regular up here Every single week we have a regular Who writes and performs a brand new 60 seconds every week It's one of the hardest jobs in all of comedy To be judged and scrutinized every week And get to

show off a new minute. Here she is again. Put your hands together for the great Allie Makovsky, everyone. My dad recently told me that he doesn't like Beyonce. And it's been pretty hard for me since coming out as Beyonce. Okie dokie.

I don't know, this new haircut's kind of fun. Girls think I'm gay, guys think I'm a feminist. Kind of the same, though. I can't tell with this new haircut if guys want to fuck me or take me to a Nazi rally. Okay. My mom told me that I need to stop talking about my pussy, so I thought about talking about hers.

And then she told me, why don't you just talk about all of your childhood trauma? But, like, she's doing more trauma now. And it's only affecting her. I'm... Okay. Yep. Yeah, Ally McCoskey, everyone. I thought the... Okay. Yep. Yeah, Ali Makovsky, everyone. I thought you were going back to pussy. I thought it was going to be a pussy

thing there at the end. That'd be funny if you're like, I was talking about my pussy and my mom says I'm talking about her pussy and then she's like, why don't you talk about this? And it's like, my pussy. Whatever that thing is. I would have to go back to pussy. I was waiting for more pussy.

Maybe one day. Allie Makovsky. Hi. So you have that haircut. Does that feel like true? Do you really think that girls think you're gay and that guys think you're a feminist? Yeah.

Have you noticed less guys flirting with you now that you have a haircut? I don't know. It's really a hard read. I don't know if, like, you know, I'm one of the boys or if the boys want to be one in me. There you go.

Okay. So, is there a difference? Have you noticed a difference in the type of guy flirting with you in the past couple weeks of having that haircut? Yeah, it's usually guys who look like me. flirting with you in the past couple weeks of having that haircut? Yeah, it's usually guys who look like me. Which is, like, cool because I'm a narcissist.

So I'm like, hmm. Yeah. But then, yeah, it usually doesn't work out. So how do you... I could be Eminem or Dido. That's a good joke. Thank you. That's a good joke. Thank you. I'm killing right now. You are.

Is this your natural demeanor or is this your stage demeanor? Yeah, most of the time this is how I am. Sometimes if I'm excited it's a little more upbeat and fun but for the most part it's like people think I'm high all the time but I'm not. I like it's it's like people think I'm high all the time but I'm not

I like it because it's a distinct delivery I'll remember you after tonight but every time you start to speak I'm like dying to hear the end of the sentence it keeps you lingering yeah and then you're like is she gonna bomb it is a good type of delivery we've been talking the last few weeks

about your working life. How's that been going? You still hating that job where you're working? Yeah, I still just have one shift a week, so I'm looking for other work if anyone wants to DM me. Whoa. As long as it doesn't have to do with feet. Wow. Do you get a lot of guys ask to see your feet?

No, I just don't want to. What? Greg Fitzsimmons ever feet? No, I just don't want to. What? Greg Fitzsimmons ever ask? No. He's got money. My mom loves him, though. What's the thing with feet? You don't want to confuse.

Well, I feel like if I put it out there, like DM me, someone's going to be like, let me see your feet. And why don't you want to show people your feet? Just out of curiosity. I got bunions. Oh, really? Well, just one. I had one surgery. The other one's still a little fucked.

Damn, you had all-out surgery on your bunion? Yeah, well, I just have really good health insurance, so they were like, let's knock it out of the park. You don't have to tell people that. I like that you don't want to show your feet because you have a bunion, not because you just don't want to show your feet to strangers. Yeah, I'm scared of being judged by people who want to see my feet. Paula Bunions.

Oh, my God. Who's on your shirt? It's a skater, Nickel Smith. Say again? It's a skater. His name's Nickel. Skates for Adidas. Oh, interesting.

Joel Jimenez. Yeah, I'm just a chill girl, you know? For those of you that don't know, Joel Jimenez worked at a skate park for a really long time. I know a lot of you are looking at him over there just thinking that that's clearly Hulk Hogan's janitor. I'm doing that now, actually. He calls me the N-word.

No. Need a job. Allie, what else is going on in life? Anything else crazy? No, I got a car, so now I'm way more mobile. Ooh, what kind of car did you get? I got a super-les car. Really?

Yeah. I'm leaning in to this look. Going all in. Subaru? I got a Subaru Outback. What the fuck. Subaru? I got a Subaru Outback. What the fuck? Oh my God, Subaru Outback. I do not go camping, but I think I have to now,

and I also think I need to find a woman to go with. I can't even picture you driving more than five miles an hour. Does it match your cadence? It's got a Bernie sticker on it. Yeah, people at my work call me slow, and I'm like, is it because of how I talk, or do you think I'm actually slow mentally? Well, you have the haircut to be mentally handicapped.

That's normally what they give people. Is this a haircut? I think, yeah, like when they put them in psych ward. Yeah, like criminally insane. Yeah. One day. Ellie, I got a question. Yeah don't pull your hair out. Yeah. One day. Allie, I got a question. Yeah.

I want to know your thoughts on the last guy. Oh my God, I loved him. I knew it. That was so fun to watch. For those of you that don't know, Allie falls in love with douchebags very quickly. Well, that's the thing that was interesting. I actually did not have any sexual attraction to him.

What a rare... Is it because he has better hair than you? It could be. It could be some jealousy for sure. Yeah. Is this an audition for Impractical Jokers? No. They don't have auditions. No? Okay. I want to be the first female Joker.

Wow. You really are becoming a feminist. You seem like you're very, very comfortable on stage. Do you have a lot of experience on stage? No, I just really love attention. Yes, and she does. She's been doing it a long time. She's only 21, but you've been doing it what, three, four? Almost three years.

Almost three years. I'm an old hag. What? Nothing. Nothing. Alright, well there she goes, another brand new minute from the regular Allie motherfucking Makovsky

Back to the bucket we go where anything can happen As we learned tonight, some people sign up for this show that don't even give a fuck I mean truly I don't even care about stand up I just wanted to fucking maybe do a poem. Hey, how awesome.

This is a young lady in which a lot of ruckus on the internet about, you know, people wanting her to be a regular on the show. We absolutely fell in love with her when we met her the last couple times she's been on. Truly, truly a great Young Rising comic. Put your hands together for Jesse Johnson, everybody.

There she is. Hi, guys. A lot of children of a divorce blame themselves for their parents splitting up. Not me. I blame my sister. Okay. No, it was totally me. I was six years old. I sat him down. I was like, guys, what are we doing here? Yeah. It's been great ever since. I really look up to my sister, actually. She's awesome. She's really smart. She she studied astrophysics which is like regular physics but in space and I got a lot of smart people in

my family my dad's a rocket scientist actually my sister's an astrophysicist and I'm doing comedy you know I spend your life studying the stars when you can spend your life being a star yeah okay i have the two moms they don't really like each other that much one's married to my dad i don't like posting things on my on my stepmoms... Jesse Johnson murdered her first two times on this show, and I believe we just had a little Will Leach moment, didn't we? Almost. I guess equal opportunity bombing

on this stage here tonight. Anybody can do it. Thoughts, Louis J. Gomez? That wasn't a Will Leach bombing. She got some laughs. She was just very, very nervous. It seemed like we were going extra fast tonight. Yeah.

The jokes were funny, but she was just so nervous that it was like you were... She reminds me of Melissa, the Kill Tony girl that used to have Melissa Esslinger. Kind of like you had the same kind of nervous energy to it. But you got to control a little more. Jesse, how's life going? How long have you been living in LA now? Three weeks. How's that

going? It's going good. I'm trying to bring the confidence from Phoenix like back here. It's working out pretty well. You really laugh at everything you say. Do you find it all that entertaining? It's easier to stomach the moment, I think. No, it is nerve-wracking. It's nerve-wracking. You just got to take a deep breath and try and slow it down. That's all.

What do you do for work, Jessie? I'm a personal assistant for a remote company. And I think I need to get another job because I'm just, like, indoors all day. For a remote company? Like, remote controls? No, I wish. That'd be awesome. Because those jobs are really, really, really hard to find.

Working for a remote control company, you pieces of shit? Nothing. Nothing. I mean nothing. That was bad. You give me nothing. Yeah, that was really good. You guys failed him on that. You guys really failed him.

That was the most clever joke of the entire night. It really was. And it got in for nothing. That's going to be the last thing I think about before I fall asleep tonight. I bet you and other people fight over who gets that job. Okay, I'm trying to help him out here. If you do want to find the job,

the only way to find it is in between the couch cushions. Come on. Can we hit last channel on that? That's the first one. Oh my god, the entire audience hates remote control humor I had another remote control joke

But I can't quite recall Alright Can we gain some control back over this show Wow Jesse look what you did Does this have a mute button We've almost lost We've almost lost control of the show I'm really pushing Louis' buttons doing all these We've almost lost control of the show.

I'm really pushing Lewis's buttons doing all these remote... What the fuck? You guys are no fun. What happened to you? You guys feel very remote right now. This audience needs new batteries. You were once a... Guys, these jokes are universally funny. Come on, you sons of bitches.

We'll get you. Oh, I love it. I love stupid tasks like that. So, Jessie, do you have that nervous energy at your day job, too? Like every time they ask you to do something, you freak out and start laughing at yourself and spinning circles? I laugh alone, but... Jessie, I know. I'm pretty comfortable

most of the time. Jesse, you've got really funny material and I've heard a lot of funny jokes. Obviously Tommy Chong wants to make love to you. I'm going to hear...

It's obviously as a thing for girls that dress like Santa's little helpers at the shopping mall. Well, I think that that set wasn't representative of your strongest jokes.

And I just, I like your jokes a lot. Thanks, Tommy. That's it. Brian Redband with my favorite sound effect in the world. Wow. You know, I got up there, and usually I move the microphone, and I just like, that's what threw me off. Is that where you think it all went wrong?

Oh, yeah. I mean, I did a lot of things wrong, but that was like, I was like, fuck, I'm too weak to lower this stand. Jessie, in your real life, in your real life, in the two weeks since you've been, it's been two weeks, right? Yeah, this is the start of the third. Since you've been on the show, two weeks? Mm-hmm.

What in your normal real life has gone on that's interesting? Not jokes, but like this move to LA the transition from what is it Arizona? Yeah I've lived there my whole life so this is a new You live in by yourself? I got a roommate he plays music What kind of music does he play?

Like rock covers Does he have band practice there? No he doesn't. I've heard him in his room play some music. Is it Landon? Is it Landon? No. We actually have set up some audio recorders in your room. So stupid.

All right. Well, what else is going on in life, Jessie? Have you fallen in love yet since being here in three weeks? I've been on some dates. How have the dates gone? They've been good. I went to the beach on Saturday. Oh, really?

And I rode the roller coaster at Santa Monica Pier. Check it out. Oh, little baby's first beach trip, everybody, at the old Santa Monica Pier. She's teaching a crowd of L.A. people. Check it out. Hey, and while you're at it, go check out Hollywood and Highland. The people that wear the costumes there are totally normal.

Surf set. Unbelievable. No, not seriously, Jesse. All right. Is that it? Yeah. Thank you so much. There you go. not seriously, Jesse. All right, but is that it? Yeah, thank you so much. There you go, Jesse Johnson, everybody. Lewis J. Gomez is going to pee real quick. What do you guys say we go to the bucket one more time, huh?

Close out the show with a big bang? Excited about this. How about another round of applause for Cheech and Chong and Red Band. Everybody's having fun. Yeah, whatever you want. Sal's going to order a drink. Watch this.

Can I get another drink? What is it? It was vodka on the rocks. And I'll have a turkey ginger. Ooh. I'm still sipping this crap. I don't know who's supposed to hear that. I don't know.

Hopefully someone heard it. Looks like Cheech is pretty good over there. I didn't expect everybody to look at me. All right, back to you, Tony. I love it. Malibu. Is Malibu a good drink to drink when you have electrical tape above your top lip? When it's free, yes.

My mustache fell off. And here we are. Yeah, man. I love it. You guys ready for your last comedian of the evening, or what? See what happens here. All right. Put your hands together

for Can Brown. I don't see anybody coming. Is there a Can Brown out there? Oh, there he is. Okay, put your hands together for Can Brown, everyone. I'm already here. You already went up twice. One more time for Cam Brown, everyone.

I found that like, I mean, I'm from Australia and I was different here or whatever, but there's a lot of like with deodorant, it's always like the selling

point is like 48 hour long lasting like who's not sharing for two days yeah i used to watch like that cartoon cat dog a lot as a kid and i was fascinated because there was um it's an animal with a cat head and a dog head on the other end. And I thought like, like even as a kid, which is probably weird, like maybe I was really into fucking or something. But he was like, if one was down to bone another animal and then the other animal wasn't into it,

does that mean like the cat or the dog was kind of like getting mouth rape reversed? Yeah, okay. Man, if you flush those jokes down the toilet, I wonder which direction they would go. Yeah, yeah. The 48-hour deodorant thing is an interesting premise.

It's just there was just, like, no delivery there at all. It was more like DiGiorno. It was... You just sort of just really phoned it in. It really doesn't matter which way they go down the toilet as long as they end up down under, you know what I'm saying? Oh, shit. Are you too good for that?

I've never met an Australian person that wasn't charming. This is a first for me and that's great. Australian villain. How long have you been doing comedy? I haven't. I did it twice in Brisbane

two years ago. The first one went well and the second one sucked and I panicked like a coward. This is your third time? This is the third time after two years ago and the first one went well and then the second one sucked and I panicked like a coward. This is your third time? This is the third time after two years of not doing it. Wow. That's cool. Put your hands together for him for that. I'm not afraid. Why are you applauding him?

That's not a noble thing. He should have taken the lesson from the last time in Brisbane. What have you been doing for work that whole time? I'm a cameraman. A cameraman? Named Cam? Yeah, what the fuck.

Wow. My name's Cameron, and I'm a cameraman. You film anything cool? You know what I love is Australian Border Patrol, when they get people flying in, like Asian people that brought raw chickens and shit. You ever watch that show on Netflix? Yeah. No, I'm the only one?

It's not a lot on TV. I can't find the remote controls. I think it's bullshit. But yeah, it's... What do you tape? I do a lot of news. Did you work with Landon at all on Landon and the Stars in the Sky? I was holding his cell phone, yeah.

Were you the one videotaping his music festival? What have you worked on? I do a lot of news pretty much at the moment. News camera guy? Oh, no, Cam. A lot of... Local news? Yeah, watch house, hanging outside, chasing drug dealers.

It's pretty impressive. And then some other shit that wasn't as good. I did some snake doco stuff. Some what? It was like a documentary on snake catchers. I don't know. Snake catchers? Snake catchers, yeah.

I like that. I like that. Oh shit, there's a snake in my house and then they come in and take it. There's a snake in my house. Andy, all grown up and Australian. Yeah. There's a snake in my house. I gotta be honest with you,

you're way more charming now than you were during the set. It was very, that's not you at all. No, I kind of got over it. I would literally, everything you did you at all. Nah, I kind of got over a lot. I would fucking, I would literally, everything you did, scratch all that

and tell that snake, that snake in the house thing. Try that on stage, I think. That's like. Well, yeah. Talk about you and your job because I was going to say,

especially for this kind of, this podcast, you have a minute. It's cool if you're an observational comic, which both your jokes were, but I think you will be most effective

if we get to learn a little about you right away. I was worried that, because normally I would talk stuff more about work, but then I was like, I still need work from that place. From what place? The snake place. No, no, fuck the snake place.

No, the news thing. The snake thing's done. But the news, you know, I'm not going to bag it. You don't want to spit venom at them yet. Well, you don't have to necessarily bag it. I mean, you know. Yeah, no, just to bag it. You don't want to spit venom at them yet. You don't have to necessarily bag it. You think in Australia this one minute is going to affect

your job over there? In Australia, actually, they love crazy internet shows. You've been to Australia yet, Sal? I have not, no. How about you? I don't know if I ever will. No, no, Tony. It's crazy down there.

Yeah, no, it's... Why'd you call me Tony just then? That was so weird. No, no Tony. Well, I mean, if Sal hasn't been to Australia, you think I've been to Australia? If Sal hasn't been, how the fuck have I been to Australia?

You don't know. It's one of those crazy things. It's very strange. Yeah. So anyway, you. Normally... Thank you. I normally...

Wow, you just giggled like Jesse Johnson for a second there. Normally I don't do the observational thing. Normally it's more, but I was just worried that that was too... Can you do an American accent? Do an impression of an American guy. What do we sound like to you? I don't know.

Do an impression of Tony. Can you do it? Can you just try to sound... Impression of Tony or American? Anyway. Hello, how are you? Is that okay? I think I play too much Xbox.

Does that sound like me? Is that what I say? Hello, how are you? Do a longer sentence than that. Yeah. Keep talking until we take this time. What are we talking about? Like, what do you think I would say?

In your voice? Yes, you fucking... What are you? What kind of camera guy are you? Shut up, you buffoon. I'll wait, I still went Australian. Fuck me. Shut up, you buffoon. So you listened to the show back in Australia?

I did, yeah. Were you in Brisbane when I performed there in November? Wow, I fucking murdered there, right? You did good. Oh, thanks, Cam. I did good. I love how this just switched. I have some notes for you there, Tony. Yeah, that was awesome. So wait, is this your, like, you want to get back into comedy?

Or this was just kind of like a bucket list type? I want to get back in. I was just, yeah. And this was an excuse, but it's kind of a, look, it's fucking divine intervention. God wants you to do comedy. You picked that name out of the bucket, dude. This is it. Yeah, if you're religious, fuck yeah.

But like if it's, yeah, I was, we went overseas, did the holiday thing because I love the show and I was like, I'll put my name in the bucket and as I said, normally I do stuff more about work. Can I give you advice? You should do that because you should talk about what you know,

what you're passionate about. You can get up there and speak a little conviction because you, especially about what you know, what you're passionate about. You can get up there and speak with a little conviction because you, especially at this stage, you can't be worrying about what you're going to write about or what your topics are going to be about. You should just be writing anything and everything, especially the things that come most naturally. In my head, it's almost like memorizing bullshit

instead of just telling a fucking story. It would have been better. Yeah, we want to find out something real to you. Yeah, more honest. Walla, be yourself. Yeah, we want to find out something real to you. Yeah, more honest. Walla be yourself. Oh my god. Alright, there he goes. Cam Brown, everybody. Back to Australia you go.

If you want to do it, keep doing it. Brisbane is a great scene. Australia is crazy. He's on Twitter at RealCamBrown. People love Australia there. Oh, I fucking love it. Let's do one more comedian. I'm going to bring up somebody who

I want to bring up because I love him. We love him. It's been a couple weeks since he's been on the show. I absolutely love this guy. Put your hands together for Manuel Herrera, ladies and gentlemen. Here he comes. Here he is. I'm undocumented.

Being undocumented, shut up, fuckers. I'm undocumented. Being undocumented is like being the child of divorced parents. My mother is Mexico, and my father, the U.S., doesn't want me. He doesn't want my approval. All I want are my papers, man. David fucking Beckham can come over here and get papers and play stupid-ass soccer and I can't get my fucking papers? That's fucked

up. Hate that shit. My blood pressure is going up. Fuck. Yeah, man. Fuck. Fuck. You know? You guys should know, man. Fuck. Fuck. You know? You guys should know, man. I want to travel and shit. I want to fly in a plane.

Fuck. That's all I got for today. Thank you. Manuel Herrera. That's a perfect example of what we were just talking about. If you just are honest, people can feel it. I think we all know that you really do want to fly in an airplane. That felt really genuine.

You have that real passion. Also, you talk about not worrying. The first thing you did was say you're undocumented, so that's ballsy. One of my favorite things was that the last guy was afraid he was going to lose his job in an Australian newscasting agency. But you come right out as an illegal alien as your opening joke. Yeah, yeah. I liked how he did the first joke and then like six tags in a row were just like, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. It was good. I think the first time he did Kill Tony, I was on the show. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It was good. I think the first time he did Kill Tony, I was on the show. Yeah. I remember you.

It was me and Mike Lawrence when you did it. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, dude. It's crazy that you've come so little. Yeah. Well, I thought you, I mean, it was a while ago. I mean, I figured you would have come a lot further. But it's okay. Good job.

Yeah, yeah. You've been on quite the streak lately. And your last appearance was what we would definitely call a breakout appearance because I ended up doing some research on you. Because you got herpes? And you son of a bitch. And we ended up finding that that last appearance, I was reading some of your tweets that I found. I found that you have ridiculously honest, creepy tweets and I'm looking at it right now and 10 hours ago we have another

Manuel Herrera. For those of you that follow him on Twitter, it's Wintersnake. Now the last time you were on stage, you were tweeting at a girl that was talking about sucking dick for two hours and you were saying a bunch of things to her. And now I see oh, she sucked it for three hours. And I see that she tweeted

recently, in fact was this today? She tweeted that. She says, you know you famous when stand-up comedians are talking about you. Smiley face, smiley face, watch the last ten minutes. And it's a link to this show in which he was on.

Now you quoted that tweet 10 hours ago and above that tweet here's what he said. I better get some Blitzkrieg head from you now. That's not the end. All these 6.75 inches

of beaner dick. 22 hours ago that same 6.75 inches of beaner dick. Yeah, man. 22 hours ago, that same girl who I don't even think she's a porn star. No, she's not. She's just a normal girl that you tweet at. You don't know her, right? No, I don't know her at all. She has 5,000 followers. She's on Twitter at

Dreadheadkilla H-A-L-E-A. Well, I mean, if you follow Wintersnake, you'll see Because you quoted her again and you tweeted at her again 22 hours ago She said yesterday at 1021 Used a dildo for the first time Feels diff than a dick

It has one like on Twitter She's not that popular or famous or anything But you like this girl You quote tweeted her Remember, she said used a dildo for girl. You quote tweeted her. Remember she said, used to dildo for the first time, feels different than a dick. He said, don't be lying. You fall asleep

cuddling dildos with your puss every night. Yeah, man. You... Talk to me, though. One of my favorites. Well, you can't run for president because you're undocumented, but also you're not helping yourself there either.

You're pretty, you really put it out on Front Street, you know? Right. You start talking about it, that kind of stuff. But that aggressive shit works. Here's what Hispanic and black men have learned, okay? Because I live in New York City, and like Hispanic and black chicks like when you fucking come at them very direct.

So you get pussy. Cat calls, they love it. Yes, they fucking do. Okay? That's how you pick up a Puerto Rican chick. You go, yo, what's up, ma? You want to sit on my face? And then she comes home with you and you get married, okay? I'm not wrong about this. It's only fucking white chicks that get offended

by catcalling, so that's why white chicks should not be walking through black and brown neighborhoods, because this is how we get women. It's true. Don't walk through them. Run through them, white ladies. Take an Uber through them. Manuel Herrera, four days ago, I know you're a big rock and roll fan. We're going to go back to Winter Snake's tweets,

one of my new favorite segments on the show. This was an edgy one. This one had nothing to do with the pussy. This is an interesting one. This says, I think one of these should have been for our homie, hashtag Chris Cornell. And then there's a picture underneath. And it's three big bottles of

On It New Mood. Wow, that was impressive. Okay, I'm going to go back now. Believe it or not, I'm going to go all the way back six days because I don't even know what this one means. I have a genuine question for you. It just says, it's Beavis and Butthead. Oh, and their long-lost brother, dot, dot, dot,

bitch-ass Ronnie full of acne. What are you talking about? Yeah, my co-worker Ronnie, I hate that motherfucker. He's slow, dot. Bitch-ass Ronnie full of acne. What are you talking about? Yeah, my co-worker Ronnie, I hate that motherfucker. He's slow, dude. You're just tweeting randomly about your co-worker Ronnie? What do you do for work again? And he's not tagging him, by the way. He's not tagging Ronnie in these tweets.

Nobody knows who Ronnie is. How many Twitter followers does he have? Wintersnake here has 226 Twitter followers. No, we've got to get him 1,000 Twitter followers. That's it. If you're listening to this show right now, Winter Snake, go fucking follow him. 1,000 Twitter followers because that's some gold shit

right there, but you have to know that he's not slow. You are the slow one in that scenario because you're tweeting at him and he's not even tagged in it. My favorites are the ones with this innocent girl though There's one that she has from May 9th She said

If I ever swallowed your kids you owe a Mother's Day gift To which Emmanuel Herrera here responded Congratulations on having the most crowded daycare center ever Damn I'm tormenting her dude on having the most crowded daycare center ever. Damn, I'm tormenting her, dude.

She said also on May 9th, do you guys like bitches who wear Jordans? He goes, nah, unless those bitches are 10 1⁄2. Oh, fuck. Unless those bitches are at ten and a half That's some funny shit That's really funny That's funny shit That's legitimately funny Because you want the shoes for yourself Yeah, yeah, yeah Let me ask you a question

Have you done that on stage? That joke right there Not yet Tell that on stage That's better than everything you just did Yeah, true That's better than everything you just did. Yeah, true. That's true.

It's very funny. On May 11th, Dreadhead Killer said, The first time I ever gave head, the guy said I'm really good. Ain't even know what I was doing, LMAO. Manuel said, tweeted at her saying, Some moms teach sons good manners others just teach their daughters the art of sucking dick one like on that one

which is one more like than she had on her original tweet this is very interesting you're her iron patriot just stalking her I mean I just see her post something I'm like man that's outrageous

and I'm like fuck I gotta respond I love it I'm into it I think you should stalk her harder go through her window six days ago she said when you try so hard to get over someone and they come back into your life

out of nowhere manual said your exes your life out of nowhere. Manuel said, your exes be popping out of bushes. Oh. Oh my god. And those were all of your tweets to her. So I absolutely love you, Manuel. How's life been going? Everything else good?

Yeah, so far so good, man. I think you're naturally funny. I would tell you to not try so hard to just project a character or anger that's not really there. Well, there is. There is. The fact that I'm undocumented, it gets to me and I want to let it out. I would say to talk more earnestly. Yeah, but you're going to get deported if you keep on putting it out. I would say to talk more earnestly. Yeah, but you're going to get deported

if you keep on putting it out. Oh, shit. So you need to make a decision if you want to stay in this country and have opportunities to perform stand-up comedy. Does anyone want to marry me? You need to shut the fuck up

about that, dude. You can still tweet from Mexico, though, that's fine. At the end of your set, you were just kind of searching for something and you naturally said when you weren't trying, like, I want to go on a plane.

And that's not even a punchline, but everyone laughed because it was so honest, and it was kind of funny. So your tweets, too, I'm sure you're not really trying hard with the Jordan stuff. I would say, like, try and, easier said than done, but try and tap into that. Well, he's also, you can write punchlines. I think maybe your problem is you can't

figure out a setup or, like, a premise. Because what's funny is when they give you a setup, you're actually punchlines. I think maybe your problem is you can't figure out a setup or a premise. Because what's funny is when they give you a setup, you're actually saying clever shit on Twitter. That's not like a bullshit. Those are legitimately clever tweets and the responses you're saying. Six days ago, without tweeting, without tagging anybody in this tweet, you said, I can't stand my bitch-ass co-worker Ronnie. He looks like the third long-lost brother of Beavis and Butthead. Now, what was Ronnie

doing? What do you do for work again? I drive a forklift. You drive a forklift? What the fuck is Ronnie doing in the forklift with you? He's just like pulling orders all slow and shit. That's what you hate about him? He's slow? That's it? And then he's always asking me for advice like how to pick up on chicks

and stuff. He's just a normal person? Yeah, yeah. He's always trying to be my friend. I'm like, dude, fuck you, bitch-ass Ronnie. You beavis and butthead motherfucker. Dude, I don't need no friends, man. I got to go tweet at this girl.

He keeps on coming up to me and be like, oh, Holmes, you're so cool. I'm like, fuck off, Ronnie. You're a faggot, man. Here comes bitch-ass Ronnie again, living life. Every time I turn around, there's Ronnie smiling, trying to shake my hand. Fuck you, Ronnie. Hey, bitch-ass Ronnie has papers. I don't.

I got shit I got to focus on. Hey, Ronnie, can't you see I'm trying to forklift? Hey, bitch-ass Ronnie, unload these. Oh, man, I got to tweet about this shit, man. Bitch-Ass Ronnie's pissing me off. Two Beavis and Butthead jokes. Why do you think you went double Beavis and Butthead on Bitch-Ass Ronnie? Because he's a white guy?

And it's also the same joke, and he just reworked it later on. Well, the thing is, there's a slowness to him and a laziness at the same time. It kind of reminds me of... Says the Mexican. Are you fucking kidding me? Well, we found bitch-ass Ronnie. All right. Well, Manuel, how's your love life going?

You hook up with any chicks lately or anything? Yeah, I did. Really? Wait, what? You hooked up with a married chick? Yeah. When was this? Like two Wednesdays ago.

Two Wednesdays ago? Yeah. That's funny. Never forget. You weren't trying. That was funny. Never forget. So two Wednesdays ago. That's funny. You weren't trying. That was funny. Never forget. So two Wednesdays ago,

I had the fucking bitch ass Ronnie had me all worked up. I'm like, Ronnie, here, smell this old married bitch's pussy. He was like, no, that's gross. I'm like, he's such a pussy, Ronnie. Two Wednesdays ago. Two half moons ago. Where'd you meet this lady?

My friend Matt. What? He had her? No, no, no. My friend's married to this registered nurse, and I guess word got around that I would be able to match with her somehow, or like whatever. Not whatever.

You fucked your friend's chick. Yeah. Really? Is that true? Yeah. Man. That's why I didn't see any tweets about bitch-ass Matt, obviously. Wait a minute.

Did you, like, cuck Matt like he wanted you to fuck his chick and, like, beat off? Or you fucked her behind his back? No, no, no. My friend's Matt has a wife. And this chick has a friend, right? Oh.

Yeah, yeah. They set me up with her, pretty much. So the chick that you hooked up with was a married chick, though. She was having an affair. Yeah. Did she talk about that on the date with you? What did you guys do? No, no, she didn't.

I mean, after we... How did it start? First thing you do, you pick her up? In the forklift. No, no, no. Get in, bitch. So I literally picked her up. I go in at 6 in the morning

And there's a hotel across from where I work And I got a room in there And yeah we did the deed And then we cuddled And when I held her hand I felt a ring She was wearing her ring And then what did you say? Hey yo this is wrong dog

Hey yo I was like no You know what I can could keep a secret. Perfect. Here you are in front of 100,000 weekly downloads and at least 100 people in a live audience on a Monday. And she's married to a cop. You can keep that secret,

but you can't keep the secret that you're an illegal. Dude, baby, it's okay. I can keep a secret about anything. I guess now that you're on a podcast, you are documented. Did I tell you I'm undocumented? Shh. Wow.

How was the sex? Did you notice anything different having sex with a married woman that's different than having sex with an unmarried woman? She put up a lot of walls. All I know is she was all backed up. I'll tell you that much right now. Backed up? What do you mean? Yeah, I mean like...

You're a dude, so no fair. You're touching turds? What do you mean she was backed up? Are you touching turds? We heard you. It had been a while since she actually had sex. What does that mean? What happened?

I made her cum four times. Wow. Really? 6.75 beaner dick. Yeah, man. You're into specifics. 6.75, two Wednesdays ago, four times. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I see that. Should I dial it down or what? No, specificity is better. It's funnier. Be as specific as possible. How long did you have sex with her to make her come four times? Man, well, I ate her out, and she came twice. You ate her out, and she came twice on the eat-out.

How long was that? How long were you down there, if you had to guess? Maybe like 15 minutes. 15 minutes. Again, another very specific answer. My goal is usually 40 minutes, but 15 minutes. 40 minutes. 15 is what it takes for her. 15 minutes. 40 minutes. Right.

This was a quick eating. Yeah. This was fast food. Yeah, pretty much. All right. And then what? So about 15 minutes of downtown. Yeah, and then I just put it in.

Wow. Let's see how seamless that is. First guy. Just puts it in, Isaac. Just throws. Let's see how seamless that is. Yeah. First guy. Yeah. Just slides right in. Just throws it right in there. Did you use a topper? Yeah, of course I used a rubber. Of course. Yeah, man.

What kind of hotel were you at? Speedo Paz 1, you know. It was 79 bucks. That's how I got it. Dude. 79 bucks. Very specific. Dude, it was like the bitch ass Ronnie of hotels, bro. It was you get to court, man. 79 bucks, very specific. Dude, it was like the bitch-ass Ronnie of hotels, bro.

It was fucked up. He's like, it was 79 bucks plus occupancy tax plus state tax. It came out to 84.75. Yeah, man. We did have to climb a wall to get over there, but it was dope. It was dope. No, I didn't. So hold on.

What do you mean, of course you wear rubber? You wear rubber every time you bang a marriage check? Dude, I'm Mexican. They're fertile as fuck, man. I don't want kids. I don't want kids, man. You don't want kids. No, man. I got two nephews. That's good enough. What's the overall goal with this chick that you tweet at all the time?

Well, the thing is, okay, I followed her initially because she tweeted one time. Fuck, what was that tweet? She said, I drove 20 miles and shaved my pussy just to get six pumps. Very specific. Do you remember what you said to her back then?

I don't remember. I've been trying to look for that tweet and write some more shit on it. You know why you're attracted to her, right? You guys are specific soulmates. Do you know where she lives? Can we get her here next week? She's in Virginia. She's in Virginia?

Wow, you got some long distance tweeting you're doing, Manuel. Yeah, I know. I can't even get in a plane because I'm undocumented. Fuck you guys. Oh, I see. Those two things were together. I didn't even make that connection. Yeah, man.

That's interesting. I guess you can't fly if you're undocumented. That's got to fucking suck. It does, dude. It's horrible. Oh, you meant like flying an airplane. I thought you meant you wanted to fly like a bird. And I was like, I get it, dude. It's horrible. Oh, you meant like flying an airplane. I thought you meant you wanted to fly. Flying in an airplane like as a passenger. Oh.

Yeah. Oh. I thought you were saying you wanted to fly like a bird. And I was like, I get it, dude. Do you have a car? Yeah, I have a vehicle, yeah. What is it? Infinity?

It's some white guy's pickup truck. Him and six of his buddies get in every weekend. You talk like a thesaurus, dude. You got all these fucking words. I love it. Yeah, I have a vehicle, yeah. It's not a car. It's a vehicle. Specificity. That's it. How do you have a vehicle, yeah. It's not a car. It's a vehicle.

Specificity. That's it. How do you get a license and how do you get a job if you're undocumented? Well, the thing is I'm under the Deferred Action for Child Arrivals. This is something Obama released. And I have a work permit. And with that, I'm able to get a driver's license and have a job. Good.

Eat pussy. It expires in 2019, so I don't know what's going to happen after 2019. Yeah, the world will be far over before 2019. I hope not. It's over, dude. But why don't you just get a white chick pregnant and then don't you get to stay here?

Yeah. But there's alimony, child support. I don't want all that bullshit drama, you know? You got to pick one, dude. You either get to be documented or you get to fucking get a white chick pregnant. Or you could get a chick pregnant, marry her, right? Have the baby and then just kill the child. Yeah.

But don't report it. You know what I mean? But then don't talk about that up here. Yeah. Oh, okay, okay. Also, check this out. I'm documented, but I killed my baby. It's crazy. I drowned him in a bucket. Yeah. Oh, okay. Also, check this out. I'm documented, but I killed my baby. It's crazy.

I drowned him in a bucket. Anyway, knock, knock. Just an awkward segue. I want to fly, too. Why did the chicken cross the road? I was killing a baby. Well, Manuel,

I absolutely love your style. Even though you're not autistic, there's something strangely overly honest about you and overly sharing, and it's definitely a part of your backbone and comedic voice, and it's always fun to watch. No, no, wet backbone. Yes.

Watch you work and work with you, and I absolutely love your style. There he goes. Manuel Herrera, everybody. He's on Twitter at Wintersnake. He's a must-follow. Check out what Ryan J. Ebelt drew when you all sat there like lazy asses. All of his prints are available at ryanjebel.com.

That's fucking awesome. Look at you. Unbelievable. Also, I have both Kill Tony posters. Those are available at ryanjebel.com. So are original prints. A lot of people don't realize you can actually get the print that he draws each episode. That's on sale.

A little bit pricier than the print of it, but you can get the actual drawing hand-drawn as well. Yeah. All of that's available at ryanjebelt.com, so if you're a fucking awesome fan, you could get that and support a live, real artist like Ryan Jebelt. Let's do it. Sal, promote something. I have three things to promote.

September 24th, I'll be at the Greek Theater here in LA with the Impractical Jokers. That is so fucking awesome. One of the coolest venues in town. July 20th, I'm headlining the House of Blues in San Diego during Comic Con. And then, of course,

November 1st to the 5th, Impractical Jokers cruise out of New Orleans to Mexico. That's going to be so much fun. Only a few cabins left for that. I've been watching that go. I've been watching that sell out slowly. Louis J. Gomez, Skank Fest, Legion of Skanks, my favorite shows in the world. Big J. Oakerson, that's all at gasdigital.net or something.

Yeah, gasdigitalnetwork.com, my podcast, Legion of Skanks, real-ass podcast. Also, I've got a new podcast with UFC middleweight champion Michael Bisping called Believe You May. Awesome. So if you guys like MMA, check that out. I know a lot of your fans do. Hell yeah, we do. And yeah, just GomezComedy.com. We've got dates torn all over the country.

So come and check me out. Love that. Jolton Joel, Joelberg Jimenez over there, ladies and gentlemen. Just absolutely slaughtering it. He's on Twitter mostly. Sorry. What else, Joel? Reach out to me, guys. I love it. Kill Tony fans. You're the best. Please say absolutely slaughtering it. He's on Twitter. Mostly sorry. What else, Joel? Reach out to me, guys. I love it. Kill Tony fans.

You're the best. Please say hi. I love it. Thanks. Happy to be here. Patty motherfucking Reagan has a new album out called Bad Chad. I love Pat Reagan. He made me love music and comedy mixed together again with his brilliant mind. I love all of his stuff. What else, Pat?

Nothing. That's it. I covered it. You can catch me doing stand-up I love all of his stuff What else Pat? Nothing That's it I covered it You can catch me doing stand up all around the United States of America For the rest of 2017 It's fucking crazy I'm going absolutely everywhere It's the Monster Energy Outbreak Tour And that's all available at TonyHinchcliffe.com

Tour dates fucking everywhere Adding some other fun dates to that As we go Austin, Texas, San Diego, Asbury Park, New Jersey. Just got added today to the whole thing. Brian Redband. Toronto. Death Squad Toronto just went on sale today. Go to deathsquad.tvtourdates for more information.

Live audience, thank you so much. Have a great night, everybody. Thank you. Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets?

You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey now, you're a rock star Outro Music Thank you.