KILL TONY - KILL TONY #219

Episode Date: July 4, 2017

Ron White, Wheel Walker Jr, Kurt Metzger, Ali Macofsky, Pat Regan, Josh Martin, Joel Jimenez, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - Date: 06/20/2017 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Order up for Rebelsis. Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony here at DeathSquad.tv. That's the website you go to for everything you want to find out about Death Squad, including past episodes of Kill Tony and video portions and all the other shows we do. Go to DeathSquad.tv. If you click on Tour Dates, you get to find out where we are performing. Not only does Kill Tony record every Monday at the world famous comedy store at 8 o'clock, but we have shows all around the country.

Desquad, Alaska is this week, Fridays, July 7th and July 8th. Me and Kate Quigley will be at Coots in Anchorage, Alaska. You can go to Desquad.TV and click on Tordex. July 27th and 28th, and that whole weekend uh we're going to be there in toronto and that's going to be with sam tripley dean deloray and myself you can go to the corner comedy.com for tickets to toronto tonyhenchcliffe.com that's where you can find all of tony's tour dates he's on this monster energy drink tour uh it's going to be a big big festival he's going to be

in like a different city every day almost so go to tonyhenchcliffe.com for everything golden pony ryan j ebelt he's the house artist he draws every episode he also did the new kill tony poster you can buy all his prints and posters at ryanjebelt.com. And last but not least, shop squad.tv. There you go. For all the death squad merchandise. If there's any left, there's some hats left. Go to shop squad.tv. All right.

Here's a brand new episode of kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Bank coming to you live from the Road Famous Comedy Store for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Here's Tony Hinchcliffe. Hey, here I am. Volume, yeah. You guys feel it? Feels a little, yeah, feels good in here. How about you make some noise for Pat Reagan,

who did one of his art pieces up here tonight. Sometimes I think he forgets that it's supposed to be crowd warm up. I told him about a year and a half, two years ago, you can go out, warm up the crowd, get them all hot before the show starts.

One more time for the great Pat Reagan, the Kill Tony band leader. Brian Redman is here. What's up, guys? Ryan J. Ebel drawing tonight's episode right there, right in front of you. While all of you sit there lazy, he has a blank giant sheet of paper, and he draws tonight's episode. And all those prints, including the Kill Tony poster, which should be somewhere around there.

It is somewhere over there. All available at ryanjebel.com. So that's happening. And together for your wait staff, we got Danny motherfucking Lucas up on the ones and twos in the bird's nest. L.A. Speedweed, who we love and adore. If you live in Los Angeles,

you've got to fucking get L.A. Speedweed or else you're an idiot. It's the Uber of pot. It just comes to you. You hit an app and the pot arrives at your door from a happy person. Like, hey, here's your pot. And it's cool. So LA Speedweeds the shit.

We just did our first ever Kill Tony in New York City last night. It was wildly successful. It feels a little bit hot now. Feels like I'm talking down a tunnel. And it was so much fun and we had a fucking blast. And thanks to our friends at Skankfest.

Louis J. Gomez, Big J. Oakerson, and Dave Smith were all on the show. It was unbelievable. It was an incredible performance by the New York comedians who all treated it. There wasn't enough insane people like there is here in Los Angeles. Wait till you see the caliber of comedian. It was literally a bunch of comedians with like 10 years of experience each just trying a minute

of steroid comedy. Everybody was just killing. Yeah. And they were all trying to make it. Best fans ever though, those skank fans. Powerful. Jesus Christ. Crazy packed rock club. And they went insane. It was so much fun. And here we are,

24 hours later, doing it again and again and again. You are at the number one live podcast in the world, ladies and gentlemen. We are back home in the comedy store. We've been doing the main room every other week for

the last little bit over a year. And look what we've created. This fucking thing is packed with goddamn animals. For those of you listening around the country and around the world, the millions and millions of Kill Tony fans, I am going on a stand-up tour this August. Hey, look, it's Josh Martin. I am doing the Monster Energy Outbreak Tour. It's me out there doing rock clubs and theaters

For the first time in my youthful career And I'm really excited about that Tickets are up at TonyHinchcliffe.com For that Brian Redband's doing Toronto And Alaska next weekend Anchorage, Alaska Anyone who even has electricity up there

Go get your fixings if you're up there in Alaska And next week And next week is our final show in the belly room. I did. I interrupted myself. Next week is our final show. I repeat, final show ever in the belly room. The Comedy Store has decided to move us to the main room full time.

Mondays at 8. What started as a podcast with a bucket with five names and those five people in the audience has now turned into episode 220 or something like that. I think this is 219. Traveled the world and here we are. Next week's episode, by the way, if you want a little

spoiler, want some more breaking news? Anybody like breaking news? Our guests will be Steve-O and Wee Man next week in the belly room motherfucking why not take it out with our friends from jackass and speaking of guests let's just fucking do it as i promise you every single week i always have two of my funniest friends in the world on this week is no different the great kurt metzger and my favorite country music star the pussy king wheeler walker jr

yeah wheeler walker j., motherfucking Kurt Metzger. Giddy up, my friends. Wow. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Wheeler Walker Jr., your first time on the show. How you doing, buddy? I'm feeling good, man. I like the music. Yes, that's Finger Up My Butt from your... Is that off this album? Yeah, that's the new one. I love it. Old Wheeler. Top ten on the Billboard country charts.

A country legend, Willie Walker. Yeah, I'm excited about this. I'm fucking pumped. Getting rid of some of that shitty pop country we're trying to help out with some nice songs about shoving your finger up your ass and fucking and pussy. Real country. The heart trying to help out with some nice songs about shoving your finger up your ass and fucking and pussy. Real country. The heartland. Exactly.

Kurt, you've done this show before. Yes, I did. Welcome back. Thanks. Good to have you. We love you on the Race Wars podcast. Oh, yeah. But say my black friend I deal with. Don't just say Kurt Metzger's German name and then Race Wars. It's weird. It's with a black friend. It's not like crazy.

It's with your black friend. That's true. Yeah, just one. I love that you brought a balled up paper towel with you. That's awesome. Do you know what that is? That was because I was in such a rush. I just had it in my hand this whole time. I didn't know what to do with it. I love it. You fucking made it. That's a real rush.

Do you need any more water over there by the way is everybody on ecstasy tonight I'm excited you guys were in the positions that we need to be in there's just one more piece that we're missing that's my favorite band it's the Kill Tony band

ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for Pat Reagan, Jeremiah Watkins and Joel Jimenez the entire Kill Tony band. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Pat Reagan, Jeremiah Watkins, and Joel Jimenez. The entire Kill Tony band. They do different characters every week. You never know what they're going to be. Oh.

Wow. I'm pretty sure they're nerds. I think we're dealing with some goddamn nerds tonight. Greetings. Greetings and welcome to Kill Tony episode 219. Ha ha ha. Look at you nerds tonight. Greetings, greetings, and welcome to Kill Tony episode 219. Ha ha ha. Look at you nerds. They're right.

I thought they were Comedy Central hot picks. Ha ha ha. Oh, hi, Jeremiah. Hey, Tony. So great to be here. Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez over there. Look at those spectacles. Good to see you, Tony.

Happy to be here. Alright, so obviously you guys are nerds that are Quick shout out to Swingline Staplers. I'm sure they appreciate that shout out. Alright. By the way, have you watched Revenge of the Nerds recently?

No. It doesn't hold up. In a legal sense. Hey, Nerd Jeremiah, where'd you get that classy bow tie from? Is that a Christmas wrapping ribbon? No, I'm in a Pee Wee Herman fan club, so. Oh. All right. No big deal, no big deal.

Yeah, you can call me Jeremiah or what my family calls me, Pussyface. Ooh, because you're a nerd. All right. So the band's here. The guests are here. Everything's in place. What do you say we get this motherfucker started?

I have a brand new Kill Tony bucket for the first time this week. Signed by Ichabod because he gave it to us last week. One of our favorite guests ever. Basically a walking fucking zombie. His name's Ichabod. And he gave us a new bucket. So we're using the Ichabod bucket. I believe he wanted to call it, what was it again?

The bucket of destiny or something like that? Anyway. Zelda's basket. Okay. Zelda's basket. Very good. Oh boy. So it's filled with names. You guys know how it works. A bunch of people sign up for it

before the show. If I pull your name out of the bucket, you get 60 seconds uninterrupted. No matter what, we don't interrupt their 60 seconds. And at the end of the 60 seconds, you hear the sound of a kitty. Oh, you can barely hear that. There you go. That means wrap it up then or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. All right. There it is. There it was. And there's, there you go. All right. Brian, Brian. Okay. Very good. All right. So you guys get it? You ready to start this motherfucker or what? You're live at Kill Tony. Here we go. Nobody has more fun on Mondays than us. Nobody has more fun on Mondays than us.

And your first uninterrupted 60 seconds tonight goes to a man by the name of Josh Fromes. Josh Fromer? Fromes? Here he comes. Fromes downtown. Put your hands together for Josh Fromes, everybody. Thank you so much. I moved here six months ago from New York.

Not New York City. Everybody hears you're from New York, and they automatically think you grew up next to Times Square inside the Statue of Liberty. That's not true in my case. I came from a small town of 500 people. Raise your hand if you ever heard of Tannersville, New York. Exactly. Cool thing, though, is I came here and I immediately got on the dating scene. I got on Tinder

and a very Hollywood thing happened to me. I met a girl on a date and she said, boy, you look like somebody famous. I said, that's cool. Who? She's like, I don't know. I said, Colin Farrell? She's like, no. I said, my friend said I look like a young Clive Owen. She's like, no, they don't. So anyway, the date ends and the next morning I wake up,

and what would you know? She sends me a text message, and to my delight, it says, I figured out who you look like. I said, who, Tom Cruise? She said, absolutely not. I said, well, tell me. She's like Quagmire from Family Guy. Anyway, that's my joke.

All right. 53 seconds from Josh Fromes. That's a minute. There you got it. Josh, what was that? I swear that normally kills at the improv. Kills? What improv?

Which location? I want to know where you can literally just rattle off stories. Improv comedy, you mean. Yeah, the one in my head, apparently. Giggity. Thank you. Hey, first off, Tony, can I say, those are some cool shorts. Where'd you get them?

Nerds love the shorts that you're wearing. Can I say something? I grew up near Times Square in the Statue of Liberty, and I found that very offensive. Sorry, Kurt. Man. I was going to say there were some logic problems for me, because when I hear that people are from New York, I don't

think they live in the Statue of Liberty. Do you think they live in the city? And Walker Wheeler's a country boy. Yeah, but not... I'm from the South, but even I know that the Statue of Liberty is not like an apartment building. You son of a bitch. Good point.

It's fair. So let me ask you this. When you do the thing where you go, has anybody ever heard a Tallsville raise your hand, you plan on nobody ever raising their hand, right? And then you – is that supposed to get a laugh or you go, exactly? Like that part? Yeah, I was kind of planning on that getting a laugh. Both my parents are from there and I had a single tear coming down my eye when you said that.

Hey Tony, how long has he been a tour guide at Jurassic Park? That's a good question. I knew the cargo shorts were a mistake. He doesn't look like Quagmire, does he? No. He looks like a magician on vacation. Josh, what do you do for work?

I work in retail. What kind of retail? I know it's not cargo shorts. No. I sell high-end men's clothes. Yeah. Can never get them himself. That's how it isend men's clothes. Yeah. Can never get them himself. That's how it is in Trump's America.

High-end clothes? Is that like Old Navy you're talking about? Or like clothes for high people? Like big-time, like fancy chefs, they'll eat in and out? Yeah. Like he sells high-end men's clothes. This is time off. Right.

Exactly. It's like he dresses like shit when you're not working. It's like a comedian doing jokes all the time or something like that. Or even during their 60 seconds when they were scheduled to do them. How long have you been doing stand-up? Like four months. Okay. Yeah.

You don't got to get dressed up for 60 seconds and followed by being made fun of. Exactly. I'm not against that. Do I of I'm not against that I got a question You moved here 6 months ago So you didn't move here for stand up No I just moved here I had a friend that needed a roommate And I was just like alright I'll move Where'd you come from?

Tannersville, New York The drive The ambition Isn't that how Robin Williams guys start? He heard about Small town, yeah. The drive. The ambition. Wow. Isn't that how Robin Williams guys start? He heard about a guy who needed a roommate? I thought he started in the Statue of Liberty. I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that...

Forget it. Well, I'll just say, what do I look like kind of joke. You don't have to start with all the things, you know, Tom Cruise. You don't have to do that whole bit. Just go right to the quagmire, but you also don't look like that. So get a different one. Okay, got it. So you waited until you were how old to move out of Tallsfield?

32. 32. What were you doing in Tallsfield? I'm on the board of directors for a big charitable foundation back there, and I was also working at a high school. What kind of charity? It's called the Hunter Foundation. We buy dilapidated buildings, we put a bunch of money into them, and then we give them away to prospective business owners for free. That's boring. What'd you do at the high school? I coached a bunch of sports. I coached soccer, snowboarding. You coached snowboarding? Yeah, we had a snowboard team. Awesome.

Me and Jeremiah have a charity foundation. Yeah? Yeah, it's just those chicks who haven't seen Star Wars. Man, it'd probably work better if we could understand what you're saying, like the execution of the thing. It's a foundation where we show people Star Wars who haven't seen Star Wars, Tony. Guys, get it through your

dick jock skull. Tony does look like a beefy jock, doesn't he? You know me. I'm the jockiest of them all. I listened to jock jams all the way here today. He looks like a jockey. Yes. So how many times would you say you've

gone on stage since those four months? Twice? Probably like a dozen times. Baker's dozen or a regular one? I think an even dozen. An honest dozen. Twelve. What do you like to do for fun? Now that you're in California and you've been here four months,

what do you do when you're not doing stand-up, which it seems like is a lot of the time? Yeah, yeah, I have a lot of time, and I don't work a lot either. What do I do for fun? I just, I like to drive around, I like to travel, I like to go to different parts of California. A murderer. Terribly cliche, I know.

You like to drive around. I like to drive around. Yeah, I like to drive up to like Big Sur. What kind of car do you have? I have a Subaru. You like to drive around. Yeah, I like to drive up to like Big Sur. What kind of car do you have? I have a Subaru. You like to drive around in your Subaru? It's brand new. It's brand new.

Come on, guys. It's a sweet ride. Yeah. Subaru is the name of his camel. What? Ooh, Joel Berger starting 0 for 1 over there. Yeah. He didn't even do it in nerd character either.

Just a straight thud. That's just normal boys. Did you inherit it from your dad, like in the commercial? It's like the car you passed down. No, no. To your boy driving out of Tensville. No, I just bought it like a month ago. What's the most exciting thing about you, Josh?

The most exciting thing about me? So far, I just think it's the fact that I moved out to Hollywood on a complete whim with no plan whatsoever, and I ended up here. Six million people a year do that, Josh. Yeah, I know, but not many people from where I'm from do it, so to me, that's a big deal. You mean New York?

Yeah, inside the Statue of Liberty. Well, you're from upstate, you've heard the legends. What is it like to meet the real Ichabod Crane in person? Wait, is that me? No, the other skeletal host of the show. Oh. Whoa.

By the way, Brian and I woke up today in New York and came here to show you how easy it is to come here from New York. We were literally in New York today, flew here, and did exactly what you just said. I went to bed at 6 a.m. last night. On a whim.

Must be nice. All right, Josh. You did the most interesting thing he's ever done. True. I did. I didn't even... I just take it for granted I guess

In the future I mean you're new So there's really not much You just have to keep on doing it But record your sets And listen back to them Because a lot of times In your head

You're like I killed That Joe killed At the improv But I bet if you listened You'd be like Yikes No I know

I think you're just nervous Instead of killed At the improv Yeah no It is nerve It is pretty nerve wracking To be up here Four months in

Especially in front of We were Walker Jr. A, no, it is nerve-wracking to be up here. Four months in. Especially in front of Will Walker Jr., a professional performer. Yeah, well. We got this one on tape, so you can listen to it. When's it out? Right now. It's out right now. Streaming. You can listen to it now.

All right. Is it Fromes? Fromer. There you go. Well, there you go. Your first time on the show. It's Josh Fromer, everybody. There he goes. Your first time on the show. It's Josh Fromer, everybody. There he goes.

He has no idea where he's going right now. By the way, guys, the stairs is right here. Fromer the freaking Roamer. Turn left at Aphrodite. And that fast, there it happens. It's the one and only Aphrodite. And that fast, there it happens. It's the one and only Aphrodite, ladies and gentlemen.

Legend. Comedy store legend. Kill Tony legend. He's been signing up all month and hasn't gotten up. Make some noise for the great and powerful Aphrodite, everybody. Hey. You know, Make some noise for the great and powerful Aphrodite, everybody. Hey.

You know, I just really, really have come to terms with the fact that I can't go anywhere without my ass. It's really too much sometimes, you know. My latest problem is with little kids coming up slapping me on my ass and they think it's funny. Okay? They straight up adult chastity stationing me. And I want to report these little kids to the police

because I'm tired of these little kids because see, if I did that to one of them, they want to give me 15 to life. Talking about I'm rolling on some little kid's ass, right? You know how they do it. I want to know who the hell I can report these damn little kids. I'm talking about two years old, four years old, slapping me on my ass and thinking it's funny.

That shit is not funny. I want these little suckers, these little motherfuckers arrested, okay? And I want them to do 15 to life. You know, it's really a trip when you got a big ass, folks. I try to turn a corner sometimes, and I realize half of my ass is still around the wall. I had to wait for it to catch up with me. It really can be

dangerous. Boom. All on her ass. Aphrodite. Can I ask a question, Aphrodite? Question from Kurt Metzger. Is it your kids or strangers? No, strange ass kids. Where is this happening at?

I had a little boy four years old in the doctor's office. He rolled his car down my titties. Was he one of those new doctors? That's straight-up child. All the way down the little Hot Wheels car? How far down? Did he get off the exit? We sit in the doctor's office because I had a problem.

My eye had turned red. He's four years old. Pink eye. You got pink eye. No, it was something else. It was another term they used. I forgot what it was. Poop eye.

No, stop, Brian. This little fucker, he's sitting there with his mama, and he rolls his car down my titty like it was a fucking freeway or something, you know? How far down did he make it? To her knees. I just turned around, and he was about right here, you know? Wait a minute. So, first of all.

And he just kept rolling it it and I'm looking at him like, what the fuck? Was it a Subaru? Was it Josh Fromer? You do have a great act, though. A woman with a large ass who's constantly sexually assaulted by small children. I've not seen that. And grown-ups, too. Everybody's attacking

my ass. I want to see if it's real. Wow. Kurt, will you check out to make sure it's real? I'm like a walking fucking experiment. Wheeler, have you ever been with a black woman? This is real ass. Yes, I'll just say yes. You're publicist. It's just like, no, no.

I think I just went down a few notches on the charts. You just lost your inauguration dinner. No, I do want to say, the opening line I thought was killer. What did you say? You've come to terms with the fact that everywhere you go, you've got to take your ass with you.

Because we were sitting behind you, so I think it hit home extra for us. Yeah, because we saw that it was true. Sometimes I wish I could leave it at home, you know? Yeah, no, it makes sense to me. You got one minute, what are you going to do? Not talk about your ass? I get it. Yeah. We're supposed to give notes, right?

To me, it was like, that opening line was killer, then you kind of sped through a lot of like molestation talk, which I would have liked to have heard a little bit more of. I feel molested when they do that to me because there's nothing I can do about it.

I can't have the little fuckers arrested. They'll just say oh they didn't know what they were doing. Why are they laughing then when they do the shit? They always laugh when they do it. Have you made an honest effort though? It sounds like you're just imagining. Have you ever seen what your ass looks like after it's smacked from behind? Well I can kind of feel it

wobbling, you know. Yeah. I bet it is pretty funny. It's like reverb in the ass. Like reverb in the ass. If I was a little kid and I slapped your ass, I'd probably laugh afterwards. I can show them a little bit of how it looks. Wow. Damn. Aphrodite.

Aphrodite. That's real ass. Aphrodite. Aphrodite. That's real ass. Aphrodite, keep listening. How old are you? I'm 61. 61 years old with an ass like that. Tony. Think of how big of losers your grandmas are right now.

Tony, looking good for 64. My grandma's got no ass. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll be 62 in October. You look good for 62 in October. Yes. As long as the young guys keep hitting on me, then I know I'm good.

What's the youngest kid you had? They got to be at least 21 to get on this ride. I don't play that shit. Jeremiah. Nope, nothing. There we go. I ain't going to jail. Have you ever been to jail?

Hell no. You know I hate bitches. I can't be with no bitches all day. Have you ever been to jail? Hell no. No, I hate bitches. I can't be with no bitches all day. Have you ever had a lesbian relationship? When you were younger, did you ever mess around with another woman? Oh, hell no. I don't like no bitches. Community college or anything? I don't like nothing bleeding. I thought she was pretty clear. Hell no.

Nothing bleeding. Nothing fucking bleeding. I'm strictly diggly. Big digs on top of that. And brothers 62 and she don't like bitches What about penises that get kinda hard Then come early Oh hell no

I'm used to the brothers The brothers take all night and ride it hard Classic nerd I'm used to that good plantation Wow That sounds like the title of a new song on my friend Wheeler Walker's new album. What's that? Penises that get

kind of hard and come early. You got one time to do that shit, it's all over. Your show is canceled. Aphrodite, sometimes I have no idea what the fuck you're saying at all. Anything else happen in the past few weeks since we've seen you?

Yes. What else? I have a new single out on iTunes with a producer named Gary Davis called I Gotta Get Your Duh. Gary Davis? What's it called? Gary. Gary Davis. Gary Davis.

It's called I Gotta Get Your Duh. What's the name of the Aphrodite? You need to listen sometimes, okay? What's the name of your song? Gotta Get Your Duh. Gotta get. How do you spell this? Can you spell it?

Gotta. G-O-T-T-A. No, no. The last part. Gotta get. spell it? Gotta. G-O-T-T-A. No, no. The last part. Gotta get. Your. Your dub.

D-U-B. This is going to take another 45 minutes. Dub. D-U-B. It's by Gary Davis. It's on iTunes and some other stuff. We have bad news for you. Oh, wait. Is that it?

Gary. Gary Davis. Can we do the Kenny Dope mix or the regular mix? Wait. This is from. It's gotta get your dub by Gary Davis. It's Gary Davis production. It's from 2011. No we're talking about 2017 is just released. It's got to get your dub like a bird UB D. You've got to get your job brought to you by sweet man

Aphrodite with Tyson you are definitely not the marketing guru that There it is featuring Aphrodite. I'm telling the truth damn damn it. Here it is. It's a little sample of it. It's hot. Is this it? Yeah, that's it. It's a big intro. I come in later, but I'm singing through the whole track. We should.

Fat. We should. Shoot. On fire. On the fire. Gotta get your love. Gotta get your love. Gotta get your love. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Hey! Hey! Hey! All right now! Ah! All right.

All the windows just broke at the comedy store. Motherfucking Aphrodite. I need an opening act on my tour. What's that? I need an opening act on my tour. You got it. I do country western. I write my own stuff.

That doesn't sound too country to me. Well, I got some. I got some originals. Country crock, maybe. I got some originals. Can you give us a sample of what your country music would sound like? Just a little small serenade, improvised? So because of him, you say you'll never love again

Because you let a man break your heart, yeah You fell in love yesterday And now you feel like you're falling apart, yeah I said a man will say anything for what he wants Yes, he will now A man will say anything for what it was. Yes, it will now. That's my song. I wrote that. There it is. Sounds great.

When all else fails, just do the doobie-doo-ba-ba. That's right. I wrote it. I got a lot of songs. You got a hell of a voice. Please remember it's not dumb. I think you could do better than Gary Young. Well, let's bring it, baby.

I'm hot and so ready. Aphrodite, what do you keep in that special little pocket that's on front of that little fishnet thing? A big titty. Oh, there you go. I want to put my Hot Wheels in that. And they're real titties, too. Really? Yeah.

Show your tits. No, Brian. Show your tits. Brian's ready. Jesus Christ, Brian. Why did Tony not believe that those were real? You can't do that shit with fake titties. Hey, Tony.

Fake titties don't move. Hey, Tony. Yes, Jeremiah. Do you have any wet wipes? There she goes, Afro-Dighty, ladies and gentlemen. Afro-motherfucking-Dighty is on Twitter at Afro-Dighty Love. All right. There she goes, the great Afro-Dighty, everybody. Dighty is on Twitter at Aphrodite Love. Alright. There she goes.

The great Aphrodite, everybody. Alright. This looks like a new name. You guys having fun out there? Put your hands together for Cal Hamilton, everyone. 60 seconds. Uninterrupted. Cal

Hamilton. I don't see anybody coming towards the stage. No Cal? Blacklisted. Put your hands together for Josh Gibson. Here he comes. From deep in the back. Josh Gibson.

Good evening, everybody. Thank you so much for coming out. When I go to bed at some point tonight, I'm going to have to flip my pillow over to the cool side, which is just a picture of Steve McQueen. I have a friend. He's doing time right now. He's doing time. He robbed a convenience store. For that, he's doing time right now. He's doing time. He robbed a convenience store.

For that, he's doing 7 to 11. My dad is a Southern Baptist. It's the same thing as a regular Baptist, except you also get a side of gravy. Dad's getting old. He's starting to get really old. He's starting to complain about all the stuff he can't do anymore, like trying to rid Southeast Asia of communism.

Thank you so much, guys. Appreciate it. There you go, Josh Gibson. Yeah. There you go, Josh Gibson Yeah We got a few good hearty open mic laughs there And I can't take anything away from it How long have you been doing comedy for? About three years Damn, that was great

Thank you, appreciate it Fuck yeah, where are you from? I grew up in Virginia First of all, let me tell you this. I love that you came up here and thanked everybody for coming out like they were all here to see you. Like we had Josh Gibson promoted all week. Keltoni featuring Josh Gibson. That's right.

That's right. Thank you all for coming out. Good instincts. It's me, Josh Gibson. Three years. What do you do for a living? I do title insurance. Title insurance.

Sweet. Yeah. Somebody else do title insurance? Awesome. Small world. It's very boring. It's just researching at a computer. Ooh.

Hello. The nerds like this. Yeah. What is title insurance? So, like, if I have the title of Big Cock Johnson, you insure that for me. That's 100% yours. You do the insurance for TitleJZ's streaming service?

No. Is this like gap insurance? Is this in title insurance? WWE championship title insurance? Wow, Josh. What made you want to get into title insurance? I really just wanted a job that I could do basically anywhere.

My degree's in something that would take me out to the middle of nowhere, and I didn't want to do that. I have a degree in ecology. In what? Ecology. Which is the study of? Ecosystems. Yikes. Come on, Tony. You watch Captain Planet as a boy?

Does anybody have three more wet naps for the band? There goes Joel. Joel actually had some. Look at that. Commitment. Thank you, Joel. Josh. Please don't tell my mom.

Yeah, well, you're kind of solid. I don't know what to say to him. You have a girlfriend? No girlfriend at the moment. I don't know what that noise could possibly mean. Last date you went on, how did that go? Last date I went on, it was fine, but no chemistry. We met in Runyon Canyon.

No chemistry. I'm making lots of jokes for the band today. There he is. There's Joel Berg waking up. One word. How was the sociology? Sociology is not a real science. What about Canyon?

I didn't know it was that. Last date you went on, you said you met her at Runyon? We met at Runyon Canyon. She thought my dog was cute. She didn't say that I was cute. She wanted to go on a date with your dog, bro. You cock-blocked your dog, dude? That's not cool. Why would you get into title insurance if not for the pussies?

It is a young man's business, that's for sure. So where did you go on the date? We went to a place across the street from BuzzFeed. I don't remember the name of the bar. BuzzFeed. Yeah, it's down Fairfax and Beverly, that area. Ten places you shouldn't take a date on.

Yeah, that's literally by the way, Fairfax and Beverly is literally where Jeremiah and I go to lunch when we have lunch together. Blaze Pizza and other janky places. So you don't know the name of the place? I don't remember the name.

When did you realize it was going bad what was the moment on that date when you're like ten signs that the date wasn't going well did she ask you to wear the dog collar I think the third time she brought up my dog was the time when she said hey look there's Buzzfeed the third time she brought up your dog

and she was blowing you at the time right right it's tough under the table, I guess. You got to talk about dogs. What kind of... What kind of dog do you have? A little corgi mix. That's a good dog.

I'd fuck that dog. I get it. It's easy to keep her from going anywhere. Wow, that's how you like your ladies. Yeah. The date wasn't going well when the drugs didn't work, right? I like my women I like my dogs from the shelter And on a leash

Jeremiah So funny Oh man How long have you been on stand-up? Three years? About three years. All in L.A.? No, mostly in Seattle.

Seattle. What's that in dog years? Seattle's great. That's where you're from? I started comedy there. I grew up in Virginia. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You went to Seattle for title insurance work?

No, I knew somebody out there. It was time to move towns. I left Virginia and picked somebody there. You just wanted to meet a lot of white kids who feel bullied by direct eye contact. I get it. I wanted to be in a town as it was dying. Bullying is a serious issue.

What's a space needle like? Expensive. Do people live in it? Boom. Everyone says that about Seattle, Walker. The drunkest I've ever been in Seattle was in the Space Needle's rotating restaurant. Ooh.

That was fun, but it's a slow rotation. It doesn't affect your buzz at all. The drunkest I ever was was a teaspoon of my dad's Robitussin. Shit. Fucking nerds, man. Josh, what's something creepy about you that you don't really want people to know about

that you'd regret saying on the podcast if you admitted it right now out loud into the microphone? Go ahead. Just say it, Josh. It's dead air right now. You're bombing right now. Right now, I would say that my most embarrassing search on Pornhub

is... Don't succumb to peer pressure. Don't do it, Josh. Don't do it. We've got your back, Josh. You don't need to do this, Josh What is it? Your worst search I'm much more excited about Step-sister porn than I should be Step-sister porn? Not even sister porn?

We have seen that It specifically has to be That ain't shit What are you, sell insurance? It specifically Has to be a That ain't shit. What are you, sell insurance? It's specific. Has to be a stepsister? What about our normal... I believe that's an industry thing

where they don't want to, like, step over some taboo line. Wait, no. Let me tell you something, man. I guess. I don't know. That ain't shit, okay? One time... Now, this is going back a few years,

but I stopped doing coke because of this, but I did, like, a lot of coke. And then, not by accident, premeditated, I looked up a lady blowing a horse in Brazil. But I premeditated it. Like, it's just going to happen here and there, like, when you look at porn. Especially nay on this one. Did you search for in Brazil? I don't know.

I'm going to have to answer to Christ, though, for that. Didn't a horse speak Portuguese? You're a country music star wheeler. Does this talk of horses being sucked off bother you at all? I'm certainly offended. I was more offended by the Southern Baptist gravy joke.

That's totally true. You're from West Virginia right So you fucked around with your real sister So this is kind of like a memory He said Virginia not West Virginia that's the third time Virginia not West Virginia Yeah would you idiots listen

Red Band was busy with his See and say Hey Jeremiah you know my words Pornhub search Hey what is it Pat Stepford Wives. Oh, my God. All right.

That's my nerd Patty Reagan right there. What's the fantasy in a stepsister? It's like you have a fantasy that your dad gets remarried to a woman. It's legally incest. There is a root of all this. Do you have siblings? I do have a sister, yeah. Younger, older?

She's a younger sister. How much younger is she? About three years. About three years. Have you ever seen her naked? Never. Not even as a kid? Not that I remember, anyway.

Really? Your sibling? It was that I remember, anyway. Really? Your sibling? It was a trick question, Josh. You've definitely seen her naked. Sure, why not? Yes. You fell right back into my trap, Josh. Wheeler's ringtone is going off.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me with it. Josh. Interesting. What do you think your sister would say if she found out that you were way into stepsister porn? I think that she would...

I have no idea. Can we call her? She'd say, come on, I'm right here. I've been here the whole time. I think that she would just think that that's a product of being a person who pursues comedy how often do you talk to your sister?

I don't know, four times a week okay, that's a lot you want to do something fun? that's weirder than fucking your sister so you can get out on a big laugh here, Josh call your sister, put her on speakerphone put it next to the microphone and admit to her that you watch stepsister porn.

All right. Hold on. Hold on. All right, but we need the audience to be completely quiet. Yeah, you guys have to all be quiet. And the nerds, please, settle down. I'm offended right now. What's her name?

Megan. Megan. Are you going to talk first or am I? Don't blow it, you idiot. She might be working. What if we get her voicemail? What's going to happen? You have reached the...

No, no, no, don't hang up. You're going to leave. Don't hang up. Jeremiah, stop. Oh, yeah, perfect. Very smart. You have to admit to her. On the voicemail.

Hey, Megan, there's something you should know about me. I'm much more into stepsister porn than I should be. Call me back when you get this. Ha ha ha! Yeah!

There he goes! Josh Gibson! Josh Gibson jokes on Twitter. That was fucking awesome. Let her down easy, buddy. Josh, come back next week. We want an update. Strong exit.

That was powerful. Was anybody else's anxiety through the roof? Ha ha ha. Oh, shit. All right. Pulled another name out of the bucket. This is definitely a new name. I know it when I see it.

Put your hands together for Serafina Costanza. Here she comes. Serafina Costanza. Hi. You guys, I just got back from vacation and you know when you go on vacation and you come home and you get really sad? So I'm trying to be different about that.

So now I'm just living my life in between vacations. So I'm looking forward to the next three years. No, I just got back from vacation. I'm still trying to be happy and hold on to it. But I realize that once your shits go solid again, your vacation is out of you. But I realize that once your shits go solid again, your vacation is out of you. Once they go solid, they go solid for a long time. You know, it's pretty hard.

What else can I tell you? You guys, I drive for Lyft when I accidentally don't get drunk all the time. So when I'm out on the road, I see this sign, drive like your kids live here. Have you seen this sign? I don't have kids yet, so I don't know why they're encouraging people to drive fast out of these neighborhoods. It doesn't make sense to me. But I saw a new sign, drive like your pets live here, and I was like, what is that about? The threat of a dead child on the street was not severe enough. They had to go, like, we had to get a meeting together and be like, we have to go full Sarah McLachlan on their ass.

And remind them, thank you. Serafina Costanza. How you doing? You know, never mind even the set, how did you get your shits to go solid? I've been trying

for months. That's a good joke. I'd get to it quicker. Do you want to go on a vacation and come back? Yeah. So you have a solid poop right now.

Yeah. It's nice when they go solid. You want a good solid poop. Wow, what a dream girl. Where did you take this vacation to, Serafina? Mexico, so it was tequila for breakfast. Wow. Oh.

Ay, ay, ay. Mexican nerd. Joel Jimenez, busted suspender and all. Where in Mexico did you go? We went to Mazatlan. Who's we? Me and my husband. How long have you been married?

Bummer. Almost two years. Two years? Yeah, just about. What does he do for work? He's an architect. What do you do for work? I work at a restaurant.

You work at a restaurant? I drive for Lyft. For a restaurant. You work at a restaurant? Did you drive for Lyft? For a restaurant. I used to manage restaurants, now I just work at one. How's his erection? Because he's an architect. He erects houses. Has he ever gone digging in your vagina before? No, that's

why I married him. Is he good with plans and blueprints? Can I interrupt for one second? I just got a text from my girlfriend saying that her brother just left her a message saying that he's into stepsister porn. She said he just left a message out of nowhere confessing to stepsister porn. Your one joke about not having kids, there was something to that. I thought it was like she had to take a shit still.

Yeah, or you're driving around looking for eggs or something. I don't know. It was the yet. That's what it was. I don't have kids yet. What restaurant do you work at now? I work at the Maple Block Meat Company. The Maple Black Meat Company?

Block. Block Meat. Okay. Crossing Buzz Meat? Block. Block Meat. Okay. Crossing Buzzfeed? Yeah, Jeremiah, you'd like that meat. I'm more of a rhombus meat kind of guy, but... Rhombus meat? Yeah, or parallelogram.

Or trapezoid. Ooh, it almost seems like you're remembering these shapes as you go along, nerd. No, no, those are my favorite meats. My friend can withstand interrogation. Okie dokie. Serafina. All right. Where did you guys meet at?

His college friends are my high school friends. It seems like you have a lot of fun. You party a lot. That's the vibe I'm getting. A lot of drinking. How many nights a week do you drink? Five, six, seven? This last week I didn't drink one night.

I was proud of that. You didn't drink one night. That'd be six nights. What's your drink of choice? Tequila, wine. Tequila and wine. Together. The wide range. Tequila, wine. Tequila and wine. Together. The wide range.

Tequila and wine. Tequila and wine. Mine's Alka-Seltzer and a nice cherry soda. So funny, Jeremiah Larkin. You from L.A.? I've been here for a long time. I'm from Northern California. Northern California.

Davis. Interesting. And you've been doing stand-up time. I'm from Northern California. Northern California. Davis. Interesting. And you've been doing stand-up how long? About three years. Where at? Just around L.A. Can Tony give you a baby? I'll just say it for you.

The baby you want. I don't want a baby. Oh. Perfect. Wow, this got awkward up here. Yeah, because she said yeah, and then she said she didn't want one, so she's planning on one coming that she doesn't want. Perfect. Wow, this got awkward up here. Yeah, because she said yeah, and then she said she didn't want one, so she's planning on one coming that she doesn't want.

So it's like an abortion. I get it. It's weird. I'm confused. I lost it. I lost track of where I was. He just Jedi mind tricked us all. Serafina, tell us something. What do you do for hobbies

or something like that? Tell us something about you other than drinking. Are you a witch? Over here. I smoke lots of weed. What's your favorite thing to do while drinking or kind of drinking or anything other than

going on a vacation? I like playing cards. Cards? Yeah, Hollywood Rummy. Wow. What about Dungeons and Dragons? I can't think of anything interesting. What's your favorite category of porn?

Oh. Really? Brian. It does bother me, the whole stepsister and stepbrother porn thing. It's like you can't not see that. It's up in everyone. What's your favorite category of porn? Calculus, geometry,

algebra. Maybe sometimes public or in a car. The unexpected blowjob. Like a Lyft car? Unexpected blowjob? Yeah, there's this one that was... Bang Bus is what she's talking about.

Yeah, there's this guy on the bus, and he was just like... Well, he said DC Comics. It's interesting. That's a warm-up. The unexpected blowjob. Well, I constantly expect blowjobs, so I don't even know what that... Unexpected. You deserve it.

What ethnicity are you? I worked hard for... Geometry, trigonometry. Italian, German, American, Indian. Mostly Italian, though. Awesome. Calculate. Seraphine, is there anything else

that you have any special skills or talents or anything like that? Anything that you do other than stand up sometimes at the restaurant and drink? I have two cats. That's a skill?

Yeah, I take care of them. They're trained. They're trained to do what? Sit, stand, hop, and shake hands. A cat? You have a cat shake hands? That's actually impressive. Thank you. That is the unexpected blowjob of Petrix. Yeah.

Her favorite hobby is drinking. Her second favorite is smoking weed, and she likes Bang Bus. So what's your Twitter? I'll tell you right now. It's at Serafina Costanz. You took out the A. It wouldn't fit. On what?

That's what she said. When I first did it a long time ago, it wouldn't let me put my whole name on there. Interesting. You've got to keep trying to ease it in, you know? Serafina Costanz. All right, Serafina. Well, welcome to the show.

Thanks for coming on. We know this young lady. She's been on the show numerous times. She ended up getting a job here at the Comedy Store. She just got done being on the road with the great and powerful Eliza Schlesinger. This is one of her openers. A true Comedy Store soldier. Your current door guy.

Put your hands together for the great Jessica Wellington, everybody. Thank you. your current door guy put your hands together for the great Jessica Wellington everybody I think you guys I've learned in this climate that you can't fight you know crazy with facts so if you can't beat them let's fucking join them right let's just fight crazy with crazy.

You know what I mean? It's like the other night I was outside this club. This homeless guy comes up and starts talking to me. And at first it's the normal stuff like, do you have any change? I said, no. Then he looked at me and said, that's a nice jacket that you have. I said, thank you. He said, is it bulletproof?

So I looked at him. I said, you know what, man? That's a really nice jacket that you have. Is it rape-proof? Yeah, he walked away. And I wish I could say that was the end of my night, but I was at my favorite pizza joint. I was two bites in. This guy comes up, and he says, I hope I don say that was the end of my night, but I was at my favorite pizza joint. I was two bites in.

This guy comes up, and he says, I hope I don't ruin your appetite. And I was like, well, this is a good start. He said, but I was just in a knife fight. And he points at his freshly knifed hand. And he said, that's crazy, huh? I said, yeah, man, it's a crazy night. I nearly raped a homeless man.

And he walked away, too. Jessica Wellington, there she is. You did it. That knife fight story made me hungry as shit, but that didn't ruin my appetite at all. It didn't? Yeah, I'm starving. Jessica, you're like a white Aphrodite.

Has anyone ever told you that before? No. You're like Buzzcut Ditey or something like that. Aphro-whitey. Aphro-whitey. It was stupid. I'm sorry.

Very good. I apologize. Jessica, you are a lovely, lovely lady. Where are you from again? North Carolina and Florida. Where in North Carolina? are a lovely, lovely lady. Where are you from again? North Carolina and Florida. Where in North Carolina? Goldsboro, Mount Olive. I used to live in Statesville. I don't know where that is.

Do you know it? No. Oh, yeah, it's not small. That's all I got. Someone did not pass geography. Jessica, you are quickly rising up the ranks here at the Comedy Store. I feel like this was probably the first show that you did a couple years ago here, right? Yes.

Do I remember that correctly? Kill Tony got me started, so I definitely love this. And recently you've been opening up for Eliza Schlesinger on the road. How's that been? Yeah, that's been amazing. Thank you. I'm going with her in September to Vegas. So September 3rd, come see us

at the Mirage. And then I'm going to Oxnard with her. Oxnard. Almost reminds me of we call it the Tallsville of the West. And then I just opened for Michael Kosta at the La Jolla Comedy Store. Okay, that's enough credits, Jessica. we call it the Tallsville of the West.

And then I just opened for Michael Kosta at the La Jolla Comedy Store. Okay, that's enough credits, Jessica. I'm excited! I know. We love Michael. He's on the show all the time. But we don't need to know past gigs. It's one thing when you're plugging. I just got back! Anyway.

Again, me too. We just got back too. Jessica, are you in love? No Single? Yeah Last relationship you were in, what was that like? Ooh Ew

It's this one right here It wasn't What are you going to play? What are you going to play? Ooh Tough question It wasn't. What are you going to play? What are you going to play? Ooh. Tough question. Is that the whole music? I have not been in a relationship in a long time.

My last relationship was just we hooked up for like a year. We were supposed to keep it a secret. Thanks a lot. What are you into? It was season two of Orange is the New Black. What are you into, Jessica? Is there a certain type of man or woman or anything? I like all men.

I'm not a lesbian. All of them? You got a lot of nerve. I don't know. How dare you come into this house? It is interesting. I mean, you must be... Better check your signal, sister. I'd imagine you probably get...

I mean, I'm just guessing here, but a lot of like... I always notice that the hot lesbian is always with the tough lesbian. There's been a lot of women here that are here to see the show. They've kissed me. They've touched my boobs. Wow. What do you do back to them? I'm like, okay, I got to go work the main room.

Wow. Don't tell Eliza. Keep her in suspense. I want to know the piece of shit who thinks you're a lesbian. How the fuck would you get an idea like that? Has Eliza tried to kiss you? Not lesbian. How the fuck would you get an idea like that? As Eliza tried to kiss you? Okay, Brian. Why would you ask that?

Kurt brought up a good point. Yeah, don't just, you know, it's like moonlighting. Keep the heat going until you get enough gigs, that's what I would say. Yeah. All types of guys, that's what you're into? Nothing more specific than that? I mean, I like black guys a lot.

Oh, there you go. Look at Aphrodite. He's going crazy over here. Burying the lead there. But I like... Whoa, whoa, whoa. Brian, Brian. You've been with a black man?

Oh, yeah. Whoa, good lord. Wow. You say that like he's still inside of you right now. By the way, as you said, oh, yeah, I know it's not related, but I just saw this black guy knuckle pound another guy as she said it. Oh, wow. I know it wasn't that, but it was a weird coincidence.

I didn't see it, but I heard their rings clank together. Yeah, a lot of high fives. Was there a black guy that was too big for you in the past? Um, no. Anyone ever make you say ow? I mean, at first, but then you just go for the ride. Anyone make you say uh, na-na-na-na? There it is.

Next on 2020, we ask a comedian if a penis has been too big for her. we ask a comedian if a penis has been too big for her. I love you, Jeremiah. Things have obviously changed for you. When we met you, what were you doing for a living? Driving Uber and Lyft. Driving an Uber and Lyft. And now you're one of the tough cookies here at the comedy store. Now I don't drive for Uber and Lyft anymore, bitches!

Right. Okay, please don't have to drive a fast-moving lift anymore, bitches! Right. Okay, please don't hurt us. Jessica, have you ever gotten into a fight with anyone? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I got in a fight over a guy. It was really stupid in the Air Force. So we were seeing each other, and he took home this other girl,

and I was like, what the fuck? So I went psycho, and I went to his room, and I got like, what the fuck? So I went psycho and I went to his room and I got inside through the window Wait, wait, wait This is definitely not a bathroom window I was in the Air Force, I was a lot thinner back then Oh

So I got in the room through the window and then I saw all her stuff was already like she had been staying there. So I went and threw all her shit off the balcony. Everything. And then they got in and her friend actually came running towards me.

So I clocked her as she was running toward me. And yeah, we got into a tussle and I I, I mean, I walked away the only, I only had, I had busted up my knuckle. Like, it just popped open because I hit her tooth or something. Did you notice she kept reaching for where your hair used to be? I had, I actually had really long hair back then. I was, like, down to here. Oh, you were in the hair force.

Yeah. Well, you turned it from a bottom to a top gun. All right. Joel Berg. So stupid. Hey, Tony, is that a common thing here? People who've been on the show move into working here? Sometimes, yeah.

Some of the true greats. Like that's Fang Chao over there, Kill Tony legend, discovered here. A lot of the best store guys. So she'd be like a Hall of Famer. Yep. Cool. That's a cool thing.

Yep. Totally. I deserve that gong. Yeah. That was for Fang Chao being Asian. Sorry. Oh, that was the delayed Fang Chao gong. Okay, where did that come from?

Jeff Fun, Everything Else in Life is Good. She has a great show, by the way, in, dun. Okay, where did that come from? Just fun. Everything else in life is good. She has a great show, by the way, in Long Beach. It's every Friday, right? Yes, every Friday. It's in Downey, actually. Oh, it's not Long Beach. It's Wide Beach. It's Downey.

Great joke. It's a Gotti nightclub. It's called Gottaudy Comedy. Please come out and see us every Friday at 8 o'clock. There you go, Jessica Wellington, ladies and gentlemen. She's on Twitter at Jess Wellington 2. Jess, J-E-S-S, Wellington. The rudeness, tootiness, dick-loving lady there.

The number 2. Jess Wellington two yeah let's do that we have a regular on this show and we're going to go back to the bucket

in just a minute we have a regular on this show that writes and performs a brand new minute every single week not easy to do you know her

you love her you've been watching her for over a year here put your hands together for the great Ali Makovsky ladies and gentlemen. Woo!

Woo! It's good to be here. My mom sometimes drinks too much, and she makes stupid decisions. She recently drank too much and let out the dog, but she said that the dog ran away. And it's hard to admit this because I love my mom and she's very supportive, so it's hard to be mean, but she's just not emotionally supportive. Okay, just too real. I know she's watching So I just want to kind of like Dig at her a little bit

I used to watch Law & Order SVU Every night before going to bed And I think it desensitized me To sexual assault At this point I don't even say yes to sex. Sometimes I just say, chung chung. There you go.

55 seconds of Allie Makovsky. Perfect. You did it again, Allie. I did something, yeah. That was very real. Did your mom really accidentally let the dog out? Yeah. I did something, yeah. That was very real. Did your mom really accidentally let the dog out? Yeah. I mean, I wasn't there.

That answers the question. Yeah, she said the dog ran away. It was Allie's mom. Who let the dogs out? You guys get it. All right, moving on. Your mom's here now? No, she watches every week, so I know she's watching.

She watches the stream live. Yes. Is your mom Tony? Go ahead. She let the dog out accidentally. She was drinking. Is that all true? Yeah. Yeah, it is all true. What does she drink? Of course it's true. It's written in her passport. Let me go.

I like the SVU joke. I think that's an accurate statement. So like every week I write and perform a brand new minute. So it's like it almost feels like I'm doing Wait. Did you say every week you have a brand new minute?

Yeah, that's what I do. How do you maintain that busy writing schedule? Of a one full minute. Surely some weeks you can't make a whole minute. So normally I just... Normally...

Kurt really digging at the process of this show. Exactly. My bad. Not all of us are made of 85% Adderall, Kurt. It's a little bit harder for some people to be creative. She's only 21. Do you get Adderall?

I used to take it, yeah. But now I'm just very chill. Hey, Howie. No, I like ProVigil, dude. That's what I do. That's a good shit. You keep turning me on to this stuff. I like Google this like once a month because of you.

Rogan told me about that shit. Have you guys tried that patch? No. No. It's like an Adderall patch. You've never tried that? No. You put it on your ass and it my friends tell me and then you

when you if it's too much, you pull it off and it just leaves your system immediately. Well, like I said, ProVigil. ProVigil is the greatest. That's called a wedgie where I come from. Let's try to figure out if there's anything to this fucking dog thing. Is it your mom's dog?

It's my mom's dog. She just has a dog. She has two daughters, right? Both of them are out of the house. Yeah, me and two others. Yeah, we're all out. She lives alone. She has a dog. How long has she had the dog for?

I want to say like eight months. And how long have all the daughters been out of the house? A long time. Six plus years. Oh, okay. Hey, Tony, I have a question. Sure. Hey, Allie, were you ever on the sitcom Blossom?

I'm too young for that reference. Really showing my nerd age here. What kind of dog did she let out? Just like a little white mutt. And it happened at night? Is it gone forever? No, we found it. That forever? No, we found it. That night?

No, we found it the next day. But my mom was very chill about losing the dog. Yeah? She probably wants to get rid of the dog. Yeah, that's what I think. She wants to move to Florida and get the fuck away from all you kids. Where'd you find it at? I don't blame her.

Where's the dog at? Someone found it and then took it to a shelter. My sister picked it up. Oh, just like I like my ladies. I mean, I just wanted... Yeah. I heard it went on a date with a guy at the Grove. It was a callback to the first guy.

He was second guy, maybe. That's like six guys ago. That's six fucking minutes ago. I don't know how I'm in guys. Six guys ago. That's six fucking minutes ago. I thought I meant guys. Six guys ago. All right. Allie, what else is happening interesting in life this past week? Honestly, not much.

It's been a pretty boring week. What does that mean? You've been working? No, no. She's been working on her new one-minute special. Yeah, I mean, I've been busy just writing other stuff. Like titles for Snapchats.

Hey, guy, cut out of your break. He's working hard and he's kicking ass. Okie dokie. All right, there she goes. Allie Makovsky with another new minute. Obviously, her mom let the dog out. That's so silly. I was mom. I was mom.

Yeah, you're welcome. I feel like there's a balloon of tension that has been built up here tonight. That's weird. Weird energy. It just feels like something's about to happen. Right, Jeremiah? Yeah, absolutely. What's going on with this crowd? I think there's just been a lot of... I thought you were talking about a hemorrhoid. I pulled another name out of the bucket.

Put your hands together for Kevin Tynkin. Ladies and gentlemen, I got two kids. I got a five-year-old and a seven-year-old. I'm raising my daughter to be a feminist, guys. I think this is important right oh yeah that feels good yeah she told me that the boys wouldn't let her play four square at school because she's a girl

and it's a boys only game you know I was pissed you know what I mean I was really pissed I looked her dead in the eye I said don't you ever let somebody tell you you can't do something because you're a woman ever

and this is real typical my nine nine-year-old son comes over, he goes, but what about me, dad? I go, you straight, white, cisgendered piece of shit. How dare you? I'm encouraging a woman here. Coming in here with your hair parted on the left like a goddamn Republican. Kicked his white ass out of the house. Said, you go enrich one of those cultures you've ruined. He knows what he did. We're all responsible. Boom. Kevin Tykin.

Got it. You have a five-year-old and a seven-year-old, huh? Yes. You seem pretty young yourself. How old are you? I'm 36. 36. Where are you from?

Fresno, California originally. Ooh, shit. Thank you. What do you do for work? I work at the Apple store part-time right now. Oh. Can I get your number? Oh, apples are in season again?

Hey, I just got some AirPods. They're fucking badass. You guys can go fuck yourself with Apple stuff. I'll tell you. It's brutal. I work in Glendale. That's my store. It's my primary function in Glendale.

It's not even the iPhone. It's the me. Me, me, me want. Me, me, me. Me pad. Me phone. It's in our evil Armenian jokes, people, because they're terrible. Me, me, me, me, me pad, me phone. Some of our evil Armenian jokes, people, because they're terrible. Me, me, me, me, me.

What about me? Nothing? All right. Well, my primary problem in Glendale is explaining that I'm not a Turkish rapist. Don't ever touch me again. Yeah, I explain the existence of sales tax to Armenians. Right. How did they react? How'd they take it? Oh, you know, they fall apart.

You know, a man will really fall apart over 9% And I'm there to hold them in my arms You're almost doing the Kardashian's appointment It's the only time they stop calling you buddy Yeah It's always plus tax You gotta know if it's plus tax How long have you been working for Apple?

Oh, man, I hate it I hate talking about Apple It's been about three years. What'd you do before that? I worked at T-Mobile for seven years. Oh, I love T-Mobile. Now we're cooking. This is what I wanted to talk about.

John Legge. Hell yeah. Dude, I go back. AT&T, bro, I was selling the 3300 Nokia. You're talking about so much tech stuff. This Asian guy's going to masturbate right now. Use the rube. You married, Kevin?

I'm married, yeah. How long have you been married for? 13 years. You got married in Fresno. Yes. Back in the T-Mobile days. Oh, yeah. Back in the T-Mobile days. Do you still love your wife, or is she just the mother of your kids now? She's great, man. Does Siri T-Mobile days. Still love your wife, or is she just the mother of your kids now? She's great, man.

Does Siri know about this? Yeah. You still banging her? That deserves a little bit of a rim shot for yourself. There we go. You guys still banging? Oh, yeah, we banging. It was classy. Take a little rim shot for yourself.

Thank you. So, what's banging like? It's pretty dope. I would say consistent is probably the best way to put it. Every Sunday. Is wife pussy better than normal pussy? It is. It's comforting.

You don't really have to perform. You just put it in and get it over with. We got kids to watch. Did you notice a difference in the vagina after she had the kids? I will tell you an interesting story, Tony. It was probably one of the most creepiest moments of my life. My wife had a... What do you call it when you snip?

The snip the thing when you're having the baby? The umbilical cord? Amyl nitrate? Episiotomy. Episiotomy? Oh, snip, not snip. You gotta make room, you know, for the baby coming. I'm a medical doctor.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, actually. That's right. Nothing. Again, that works an apple. All right. 1965. How long after that procedure was she T-mobile? Wait, what?

So she snipped. The doctor snipped the pussy. So here's the story guys So he looked over at me as he was stitching up He says hey pal I put an extra stitch in there for you Oh yeah daddy stitch It's called the daddy stitch

It's very creepy It's called the daddy stitch And it makes it tighter I always wanted the doctor to do it in the middle Or maybe a little bit above So you could have one Mexican, one Asian pussy make an extra hole. Brian fucks a bunch of girls that have had babies

before. In Hawaii, they call that the Lilo and Stitch. I hate myself. Kevin, what else are you into? What do you do for fun with your kids? I mean, we go to camping and stuff like that. They seem straight to you?

They seem like normal, plain white kids? My kids are pretty dope. They're pretty weird. I'm a pretty weird guy. Why does straight mean dope? You've got some dope-ass kids I heard. Well, I mean, I don't know. You never know what's going to happen.

You ever get any hints of anything Or does it seem like is it a boy and a girl It's a boy and a girl I don't think about my children's Sexuality too much Tony Well we all do so That's why we have this podcast right So you can talk about the sexuality of five and nine What kind of discounts you get at Apple

About 15% as an employee What about out of warranty iPads that are used for What kind of discounts do you get at Apple? About 15% as an employee. What about out-of-warranty iPads that are used for Kill Tony that fuck up that I need to get fixed? I have no connections. Guys, can we please focus on what's important here? Can you ask your fucking kids to keep their hands off Aphrodite's ass for one time? Yeah, exactly. I get it. You know, I get it.

I can't. That was like nine guys ago. He got them back. It stuck out, though. Where do you usually perform? I come here on Mondays. I'm trying to get up. I'm going at the improv on Sundays.

I go back home. Where do you actually perform? All those places. I come here on Mondays. I'm trying to get up. I'm going at the improv on Sundays. Yeah, but where do you actually perform? All those places. Give yourself another rim shot there, pal. Oh, Jesus Christ. You're still nurturing. Yeah, I perform in Fresno from time to time. I did a festival in Salt Lake City recently, which was fun. You had a very funny podcast, too.

Yeah, I had Jeremiah on my podcast. Oh, really? Yeah, Rippin' and Skippin' with Evan and Kevin. There you go. I like that. It's a good plug. It's a celebration of freedom. Fuck yeah. Is that available on... I think Wheeler would like it. Is that available on Daddy Stitcher? It's on iTunes. Yeah. Where are you?

Thank you for telling me what it was actually on while stepping on the joke at the same time. Thank you, Kevin. I really appreciate it. I'm here to help. If your timing on this is anything like ribbon and gibbon, then I can't wait to tune in.

He's got a lot of confidence. He does. You have a lot of swagger. Where do you think you get it from? Where do you draw your confidence? I would probably say talent. He gets it from that? Yeah, mostly talent.

That's a good answer. That's a? Mostly talent. That's a good answer. That's a very good answer. That's a talented answer, so you have to give it to him. When you're good at something, you feel good. That's true. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That makes no sense. All right.

Well, Kevin, you did it. Welcome to the show. Thank you, sir. Kevin Teichen, everybody. He's on Twitter. Kevin Teichen. All right. Well, Kevin, you did it. Welcome to the show. Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. Kevin Tynken, everybody. He's on Twitter. Kevin Tynken. Tynken.

Tynken. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa! Ron White! Holy shit! Have a seat, Ron. You sit there.

I'm going to move over here. I'm going to stand. That's okay. Do you have your tequila on you? I'm going to do a shot. There he goes. Kurt Metzger, everybody. Kurt, give it up for Kurt.

Perfect. He's on his way out. Listen to Star... Welcome, Ron. Make some noise one more time for one of our favorite human beings in the fucking world, the great Ron White, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much. Thank you.

Thank you. Maybe that's what I felt. I knew there was fucking something in the air. When you pulled in, I could feel it. You smelled it. He also is the proud founder of an amazing company called Number One Tequila, which we absolutely love here. He brings his own bottle.

I don't seem like an alcoholic, do I, when I walk the halls of a comedy club with my own bottle of liquor? Come on, somebody drink with me. You know country music star Wheeler Walker Jr., Ron White? You guys worked together before? Hell yeah. Well, let's just get into it. You want to pull

a name out of the bucket, Ron? Get this puppy started? Want to watch a comedian for 60 seconds with us? Last time Ron was on, we had a fucking blast. Let's see what happens tonight. Put your hands together for Chalice Robinson. Here we go.

Man, I was about to walk out. Shit, my parking was exp to walk out. Shit, my parking was expiring, man. All right. But I like doing this comedy shit. I like doing comedy, but I need comedy to get me to a certain level. I need ramen noodles to become a choice and no longer a consequence of my bad decision making. You feel me? I don't even know people like ate this shit

like casually. It's just something that they do on the weekends for like 10 to 15 dollars a bowl. Not like me who buys an 18 cents a pack, tries to add in his own ingredients to make the shit taste good. Like, to me that's fucking ballin'. To buy some shit at such a high mark up because someone tells you it's gourmet, that is struggle food. You cannot convince

me that ramen noodles is gourmet. And due to my brokenness, I had a chick tell me, let's just be friends. To keep it short, this is the nice version. So I said, cool, you want to play some ball this weekend or something? Maybe grab a beer? We could really get at these hoes. As she shook her head like, nah, dude, that's not what I meant. I was like, I'm sorry.

I thought you really meant you wanted to be the homie. Fuck yeah, Chalice Robinson. What's up, what's up? What do you do for work where you're still struggling on ramen? I work at a retail store. A retail store. Yeah, you're going to ask me which one, right? Yeah, I am.

Fucking Walmart, man. Oh, Burbank? Burbank Walmart? No, no, not the Burbank. It's just Van Nuys. That's the worst Walmart in Los Angeles. You know what I just learned about myself? This has nothing to do with you, but I hear better when I can see your mouth move.

I don't know what that means, but I do. I agree with that. If I could have said that out there, I would have heard every word. But I thought the second joke was strong. I thought the first one was a pretty good premise. So it's not bad for 60 seconds. Are we judging this? I mean, we're just talking about anything.

I don't know exactly what it was. Was there ever a period of time, Ron, when you started comedy where you were eating ramen noodles or anything like that? Struggling? Yeah, I didn't make dick. I would drive for eight hours to make two or three hundred bucks. Now you have a motherfucking jet, don't you?

You don't have to bring that up. It's not a motherfucking jet. It's a regular jet. I just love it. Chalice, what is the most gourmet thing you've ever put in ramen noodles? I'm sort of with Ron. I didn't really hear exactly that much. I cut up some carrots and some peas.

I was trying to make it fancy. I actually bought my own chicken, like real chicken, and then put the chicken in there because it was fucking bullshit. Sodium level is way too high on that. You would be better if you just got regular spaghetti noodle or something like that. You're absolutely right. It's like 1,000 milligrams. Yeah, our main nutrient associate here on the scene, Brian Redband, the sodium king of the West.

Fucking sodium. Always keeping his eyes on salt. That's one of the biggest things that kill people like me. Yeah, sodium. You have to. Joey salt. That's one of the biggest things that kill people like me. Yeah, sodium. You have to. Joey Diaz talks about it all the time. Chalice, how long have you been working at Walmart for? I've been there for a long time, like seven years.

Seven years at Walmart. Man, have you hit the wall yet? You just beat on the back of your head, doesn't it? Yeah. If you cuss on this show, your fucking head. Hell yeah, you can. Seven years of dick. Any girls you've ever been with

play into the Walmart fantasy? They ever just make you walk into the bedroom with just your blue vest on or something like that? Nah, man, but I'd do it. I'd be down. Fuck it. Just the vest and dick swinging, I'll do it. Yeah, like, have you ever price checked a vagina before?

So, everyone knows that a lot of people, there's a website called People of Walmart. One of the best things is that people that go there are taking photos of them. Even in Burbank, brand new Walmart in Burbank, you see some of the worst of the worst. Is there a secret collection

of videos of security video and cameras and photos that you guys actually go, holy shit, this woman has a raccoon tail coming out of her ass or anything like that? Wow, Brian, I have no idea what's going on with you over there tonight, but it is out of control. Yeah, could you explain the question

one more time? No, please don't. What's the craziest thing that's happened at Walmart? Wait a minute, let me watch your mouth while you're doing it. What's the craziest thing that's happened? We got it, Brian. What is the most Walmart-ish thing that you've seen at your Walmart?

I'll tell you something real quick. An employee lost a key and then a customer found it to all the lockups and eventually that customer came back in and was just like opening the shit and taking a customer found it to all the lockups and eventually that customer came back in and was just like opening the shit and taking all of his stuff and walked out the door with all of his stuff.

Wow. What a fucking coup. They got the What'd you guys have to do? Change the locks? Exactly. You gotta change all the locks. Wow, that's like a Real Oceans 14 right there. I think they flat fleeced a dozen

Walmart employees for whatever they got. Let me see your mouth. Che Lewis, what's your middle name? You're gonna remember once I tell you this. Oh, fuck. Yeah, go ahead. Calrissian. Your middle name is Calrissian.

I knew I remembered fucking something about you. Sweet. Both of your parents are black. Yes. And they named you after the mayor of Cloud City. No, his dad's white and he looks like that. That is some interesting shit. They didn't name him after the mayor of Cloud City.

They named him after the spokesperson for Colt 45. Oh, that's true. Or maybe they thought the title of the movie was The Empire Strikes Black. Nothing again. Very good. What the fuck? Very good. This is a sweet show tonight.

Just right from the... You thought I was going to save this, didn't you? I was really hoping so. Hey, I saw the fucking tail spin from out there, and I'm the one that wandered out here with a bottle of fucking booze, dude. I love it. I love it. I don't even think there's anything I can do for this. This has gotten away.

J-List, since the last time you've been on this show, how's things been going? Anything been working out for you in the comedy business? It's all right. I mean, I get booked every now and then. Like, Flappers likes to put me up. What part of seven years at Walmart didn't you understand? Exactly.

Exactly. How much longer do you have to work there? What did the judge sentence you to exactly? A groan, and it gets a groan. We're two hours into the show. Everybody should be tipsy and having fun at this point, and we're getting groans now. We're going the wrong direction. I got

at least another eight years. I don't know. All right. Chalice, another fun time. We've met you before. Good to see you again. There he goes, Chalice Robinson. I don't know. I don't know. Should't know should we do one more there's something that just doesn't

something doesn't feel right to me I think we need to watch one more comedian I don't know something's missing out of this episode put your hands together for Mike Diaz something there Something there I had a weird group of friends growing up

One time we were all hanging out And one of them just kind of like Stopped the conversation and was like Hey, we should measure our dicks And like no one had a problem with it Everyone was like, oh yeah, who's got the ruler? And so The first guy, black friend of the group, he goes first.

It was his idea. And he comes out, and he's like, dude, it's like seven inches. And then he, like, baton passes it back to my friend. He goes in. He comes out. He's like, dude, yeah, it's like six inches. And then it gets passed to me. And, like, you know know honesty is the best policy

so I came out and I was like guys look it's I mean it's not looking I mean like foreign change like we're we're pushing low numbers and like my friends they were they were nice they never made fun of me for having a short dick they just like they would do this thing where they'd like high five around me and go like huge dicks! And then there was a lot of embarrassment because I didn't... Why didn't I lie? That wasn't... Thank you.

You came up a little short tonight, too, it seems. Thank you, Tony. Wait a second. Isn't four inches average, everybody? Oh, you have a nerd wiener. Mike, is that true? True story? You and your buddies all have inches?

Well, I mean like four and a half, yeah. Yikes. You know, it was... Were these erections? Yeah, like that's four inches like hardest you've ever been or can you put a little Bubble gum on the end of it Yeah are we talking Like a real thrower

Are we talking You know a college Dribble guy Like what's going on Over there That's four inches right So that's you hard right here If it's freezing outside

Four inches is a lot of dick That's great Brian Jesus You're the one that Talked about it in front of Everyone and the internet Yeah I know So don't get mad at me

When I tell you, like, that's you hard as rock right now. Wait, wait, wait, quick. Measure it with your mouth. No, no. So you only date Asians. I don't know if I said it in the beginning. Yeah, middle school. That was in middle school. Yeah, it was a true story.

When's the last time you measured your penis? Do you feel like it's grown? I haven't measured it since, probably out of's grown? I haven't measured it since. Probably out of fear, but I haven't measured it since. Do you think it's about the same? I'd say no, but I mean, who knows?

You'd say no. What would a woman with a ruler next to your dick say? Probably. You know what you should do? Measure it from your asshole. Can you explain to me how to do that?

Yeah, just start. Put the ruler at your asshole. Just go at my asshole. The other way, right. And then measure that. You're going to be five and seven eighths. I got to know it. Go in pencil style.

Five and seven eighths. I did that. Use that one and a half inches behind your dick. Mike, what do you do for work? Driver lift. He's been on a few times. Tony, I did that. I measured my dick

from my asshole. In middle school, I measured my dick from my asshole. What'd you come up with? It was pretty big. It was about half a Dungeons and Dragons board. Those are pretty big. You have a girlfriend, Mike? Yep, four years in July.

Four years in July. What does she do? She works front desk at a office. She measures his dick from his asshole. Is your lift score like your dick? Four and a half as well? Actually, yeah. Actually, like 4.8, yeah.

Just making sure seven people only laughed at that. Just that I know it was you and not me tonight. Perfect. You fucks. You guys not like hot riffs? No. Mike, what else? Do you want me to talk about my dick more?

Any hobbies or anything? Tell us something about you. What's interesting about you? I know, we have hobbies. What made you come up with that mustache idea that you're rocking? Oh, not me. Show them one more time. Oh, hi, guys.

What made you want to be a French thief? Old heist movies, mostly. How long have you been growing that thing out? Oh, it's been like a week. Hey, what do your balls look like? You know what? The balls themselves, not very big. The sack falls.

Oh, Ari Shaffir style. I've never seen Ari's balls. I've heard legends. We just did Naked Roast Battle in New York and we got to see some of the craziest shit that happened. Ari's balls have grown twice since I saw them. Like, literally that big. No joke. This is no joke.

Like, maybe... We know it's not a joke, Brian. Ten inches. But it was weird having a roast battle where you saw everyone's dicks. That's almost three of my dicks. Yep. Okay, cool. Like, why... Like, how long is your balls?

Like, measure them out with your hands From your asshole Mike I don't know You're the one that brought it up man On the internet I know Yeah Mike what's your favorite category of porn already Jesus

Wheeler what do you think about this guy Yeah, Mike, what's your favorite category of porn already? Jesus. Wheeler, what do you think about this guy? I was just going to say, he just talked about his dick for a full minute and then got offended that you asked about his balls. Why are you giving us the shaft? Make up for lost times? Some things are private. Private.

We got you, Joel. We got you, buddy. Mike, coolest thing that you've done this year? Most fun thing that you've done? Most fun that you've had in your life this year? Besides measuring your dick. I guess I traveled to Atlantic City

for a tournament to play video games. You traveled to Atlantic City to play a video game tournament? Yeah, video game tournaments. What? Super Smash Brothers. Yeah, I've told it on the podcast. Yeah, we have talked about this. Do you make money playing video games?

If I win, yeah. I don't win very often, but sometimes. Because there's guys now I heard of who make money playing video games on YouTube and shit. Yeah, that's an option. Yes, it is called twitching. Thank you, yes. One twitcher. You're the most honest person I've ever met in my life, dude.

Thank you. You are fucking honest as shit. It's true. That's cool, man. You don't give a shit either. I don't know if you remember, but last time you just told me I sucked last time I was on here. Oh, really? Yeah, it was.

You said? I told you you sucked? It was. I believe. I didn't say you don't suck. I said you're honest, and I could tell that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I got nothing to do with the fact that.

It's an upgrade. It's an upgrade. But last time, it was definitely you suck. It was just like that, actually. Wow. was definitely you suck. It was just like that. Wow, you probably really suck. It sounds like me. It was fun. I had fun. It does, but you seem like a really, really, really fucking honest dude, man, and I like that.

Definitely. Yeah, like if you were on a jury, that'd be great. Alright, Mike. There he goes, Mike Diaz, everybody. He's on Twitter at MikeBMike17. We did it. That's Kill Tony. Wheeler Walker Jr., you're going on tour.

Make some noise for Wheeler Walker Jr., ladies and gentlemen. This is my new album. It's Old Wheeler. Tell us about your tour, though, so that everybody listening around the country can... I texted my manager. I said, what three dates do we need to pimp out the most and hero back?

Charlotte, Virginia Beach, and Philadelphia. Boom. Those are all available at what? Could you narrow it down to venues or anything like that? Anywhere in Charlotte? It's going to be all over Charlotte. Yeah, I don't know the venues, but yeah. So go on my website and buy tickets if you're...

I guess everyone here is... Well, we're playing Costa Mesa, but that's sold out, so that doesn't help anybody here. So fuck plugging that. Well, no, I'm just saying, if people in the audience want to see me play There's nowhere to see me Patty Reagan you have a new album out

Bad Chad that's on iTunes That's on everything I love it What else I just don't Yep Jeremiah Watkins You're on Twitter Yeah reach out to me on all social media And if you want a Watkins t-shirt

Let me know I got a couple larges left. He's also on the Monster Energy Outbreak Tour with me, opening up for me all around the country. Big giant house of blues, rock venues, giant comedy clubs. Joel Jimenez is on Twitter. I'm mostly sorry.

You know him. You love him. It's motherfucking Joelberg, the sensation. Wow, how the fuck did you get Ron White in there that fast? Perrion's going for the amazing Ryan J. Ebelts drawing. I'm going to point it that way now. Ron White, Kurt Metzger, Wheeler Walker Jr. Ron, anything you want to plug? Anything coming up?

Any dates or anything? I'm on vacation right now, and I'm digging the fuck out of it. And what do I do when I'm on vacation right now and I'm digging the fuck out of it. And what do I do when I'm on vacation? Come up to the fucking comedy club. That means we're all on vacation. So glad you're back. Thanks for being fans and I'm going to keep doing it

as long as you want to listen. Fuck yeah. You're the best, Ron. Ron, what? There he is, the king of tater salad, the king of pussy, the kings of nerddom. Thank you so much, live audience, for coming out. This is Kill Tony 219, Brian Redband. See you guys.

Love you. Thank you. Good night. Give it up for Tony now. Give it up for Tony. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. We'll be you next time. And lick my balls a little bit If you want my dick inside of your mouth Then you gotta stick a finger in my butt You gotta stick a finger in my butt You gotta stick a finger in my butt Thank you.