KILL TONY - KILL TONY #225

Episode Date: August 12, 2017

Doug Benson, Erik Griffin, Ali Macofsky, Pat Regan, Josh Martin, Joel Jimenez, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - Date: 08/07/2017 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Hey, this is Redman and you're listening to Kill Tony here at Death Squad. Go to DeathSquad.tv for everything Kill Tony, including past episodes and tour links.

We are always going on the road. If you click on Tour Dates, you get to see where we are in your neighborhood. Not only do we do Kill Tony every Monday at the real famous comedy store in the main room, we also do the Ice House Chronicles every first and third Friday. And we do the Laugh Factory. There's a bunch of shows. So just go to DeathSquad.TV and click on Tour Dates.

Minneapolis, Minnesota. Me and Kate Quigley are coming there this next week. Wednesday, August 16th through the 20th. We'll be at the House of Comedy in the Mall of America. So check that out. Go to deathsquad.tv for tickets or go to thehouseofcomedy.net. Tony Hinchcliffe is on the Monster Energy Tour right now with Jeremiah Watkins.

He's all over the place. You can go to TonyHinchcliffe.com for all the different dates. He's going to, I think he has like 20 more You can go to TonyHinchcliffe.com for all the different dates. He's going, I think he has like 20 more cities to go to. So check it out. Go to TonyHinchcliffe.com. Ryan J. Ebelt. He's the house artist. He draws every episode. He has the Kill Tony poster and past prints of different things that he draws every episode. So it's pretty sweet. Go buy them. Help them out. Go to ryanjebelt.com Death Squad has a brand new shirt. Go to shopsquad.tv to check out the new Death Squad

cat shirt. We also have some spinners, fidget spinners and some new stickers and we also have the new Kill Tony shirt. There's still some left in stock. Go to shopsquad.tv Alright guys, here's a brand

new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Reppin, coming to you live from the real famous Comedy Store main room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Get up for Tony Hinchcliffe. Hello! Hi, everybody. Look, it's Josh Martin goofing around, stumbling on chords. The great Brian Red Band, everybody.

Hey, guys, what's up? Brian J. Ebel drawing tonight's episode. You guys ready for a crazy night or what? You're at the number one live podcast in the world. We are streaming live right now in VR 360. So you're all part of the show tonight. Congratulations. Some people might be staring down these ladies' shirts right now. I'm pumped about tonight's show. Always exciting. A lot of great stuff happening all

over the place. We have the new Kill Tony shirt. That's for sale at ShopSquad.TV. Yes, indeed. And I have the brand new, just released today, Tony Hinchcliffe Club shirt. The new THC shirt. You guys gotta check that out.

You'll see that on social media, on my website and things like that. Shut up, dude. You can't talk during this. I'll be on Edmonton this week also. Oh, I love that. You're there at the comic strip? Yeah, the comic strip. And then Minnesota next week.

I was just in Minnesota. How was it? For those of you that are keeping up on everything, this past week, Jeremiah Watkins and I went out on our first leg of the Monster Energy Outbreak Tour. We got to do rock clubs and theaters around the country, and it's unbelievable. We had a blast in St. Louis, Madison, Detroit, and Minneapolis. And tomorrow, I fly to Nashville, where Jeremiah is going to be doing his stand-up on the spot show here in L. Louis, Madison, Detroit, and Minneapolis. And tomorrow, I fly to Nashville, where Jeremiah is going to be doing his stand-up on the spot show here in L.A. So filling in for Jeremiah in Nashville, Tennessee, a guy that's a former many-time guest on this show, Kill Tony,

a guy named Ralphie May. How's that? Hell yeah. You think Ralphie can fill Jeremiah's shoes? No. Nashville, and then Huntsville, Louisville, Indianapolis, and then this Saturday we're at the Cleveland House of Blues. Wow, picture that. A boy from Youngstown, Ohio,

headlining a Saturday night at the House of Blues in Cleveland where the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is with my pal Jeremiah Watkins. Columbia, Atlanta, Charlotte, Baltimore, New York City, Boston, San Francisco, Portland, and it all ends LA. I do my long set here September 5th. And I have to announce right now that the Asbury Park, New Jersey

and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania dates have been cancelled. And this is a big announcement. In two weeks there will will be no Kill Tony here, ladies and gentlemen. It's true. In a shocking turn of events, I found out just a few days ago that I booked a big, cool little role on a big, cool little TV show that I can't actually talk about right now.

But I think you guys are going to be very excited when you see what happens with that, when I get to talk about it. But we're going to do a secret show, a big Death Squad comedy show, the night of Kill Tony. So you'll get to see a lot of the people that you see on this show, people that you love do stand-up comedy that night here in the main room on a cool little Monday night to hold you over while I'm in New York City taping a show for a thing. You guys ready to start this fucking show or what? Ads are out of the way. You get it. I'm on the road. We're going to have some

fun. Let's bring up tonight's guests. Every single week, we have two of the funniest comedians in the world on. You know these guys from being guests on this show numerous times. Doug loves movies. I'm dying up here. Workaholics, getting Doug with high. Put your hands together for Doug Benson and Eric Griffin! Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Holy shit. There he is. There they are. Oh, so I got high I was gonna do Kill Tony but then I got high Is this thing on? High again

I was gonna criticize the comics But then I got high Can we get Eight more mic stands Yeah please Welcome to mic stands Welcome the... Yeah, please. A couple more cameras. Welcome to mic stands. Welcome to the new show. Tony Hinchcliffe.

Welcome back. I love everything that you guys are doing. Eric, I've told you how big of a fan and we've mentioned on this show numerous times and we've had pretty much the whole cast on this show that is comedians of one of my favorites Showtimes I'm Dying Up Here, which you

are unbelievable on. Tell me more about me. If you guys aren't watching it, you're stupid. It's goddamn history. You are unbelievable. No one believes what you're saying. No one believes your emotions. No, it's really good. Doug, I got high with you earlier.

I got high with you and Sendog? Sendog from Cypress Hill. Yeah. Yeah. I got Doug with high on the Jash Network. I'm excited about tonight. Hey, I don't want to say tell the comic store how to do this, but all these people over here on the side should be sitting over there

because they can't see shit. Doug, we know. We know. We literally got into a vicious argument with management last week about it. I'm sad I brought it up. It's a whole thing. It's a good thing this is here so I could just kill myself right now. Just Harry Carey for saying that.

But also, just one more thing about the comedy part. Okay. Every person in Neon on the Walls never did fucking stand-up comedy in their lives. That is true. It's all silent film stars. Okay, go ahead. You think we could lose the Neons?

Can we do that? Is that okay? Up to you, Danny. Which one? All of them? It's hard to compete with the fat Laurel or Hardy, whichever one it was.

You guys... Yes! Feel that energy switch? Yeah. I like it like that like it like that easy crowd danny motherfucking lucas make some noise he's always up there above you fucking best sound guy at the store he's seen this is a guy that's seen all the greats that have come up here richard pryor jim carrey david letterman tony hinchcliffe, all the greats. Danny's the fucking man. They're all written on the wall. Everyone signed their names outside.

And that's what makes you a comedian is you have the same signature as everyone else. Yes. And speaking of which, perfect segue, guess whose name went up today? One of the members of the band, the guy that I've been working with continuously. A huge favorite here on Kill Tony. And he's a part of the Kill Tony band. I'll bring them all out at the same time. Pat Reagan, Joel Jimenez,

and with his name on the wall for the first time tonight, Jeremiah Watkins. Jeremiah. The Kill Tony band. Yeah. That's how big they could be. Oh my god I know who that is Oh no It's feminist Stacy

Ladies and gentlemen Holy shit Feminist Stacy Welcome back to the show Who are your friends? That's Tracy. That's Lacey. And this is my new boyfriend.

I'm Hunter. I'm Stacey's dude. Wow. Whatever she says goes. Yeah, we know that. How'd you two meet? Well, it started off, we were both blogging for the same news source. Monsterenergy.com.

Yeah, I agree with that. And then I saw him in person at the Women's March, and I fell in love. I love that the girl behind you is dressed like Jeremiah Watkins tonight. That's pretty cool.

Spot on impression. Yeah, very good. Okay. Stacy actually made an appearance. I was surprised to see I was on an airplane with Jeremiah Watkins. This is true, by the way. I'm on an airplane in the middle of this first stretch, and all of a sudden I turn around, and there she was.

With that haircut, it was feminist Stacey in full character. Literally being way too loud on the plane. Before it took off, by the way, to where I'm like, Stacey, stop. No one can silence a woman's voice. It'll tell you what, she's not flying solo now. Why are we even here? I know, that's what's beautiful about this show is it's literally just home run derby.

But you guys ready to get into it? There's more. The stage is set. The pieces are all in place. That microphone belongs to whoever gets pulled out of the bucket. Before the show, there's slips of paper out on the front patio, and a bunch of people sign up their name. You get 60 seconds if you're picked.

You know your 60 seconds is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. Come on, that's so quiet. What was that? Wrap it up then, or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. There you go. Good, good, good. So do your time to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. There you go. Good, good, good. So do your time. That's the whole point of it.

You never know who's going to get pulled out of the bucket. Sometimes it's a fucking monster young comedian. Sometimes it's a completely insane person. There's one guy named Ichabod who got pulled out of the bucket who actually ended up, his second appearance, he brought this bucket and we replaced the old bucket with this bucket. It called Ichabod's bucket of destiny you guys ready to start the fucking show it's kill Tony live 360 VR you guys ready for this or what make some fucking noise come on this is the number one podcast. Number one live podcast

in the world. Oh, is that what that is? Your first... VR-ing? Did you hear about Stacey's mom? Yeah, my glasses in VR. She's got it going on. You watch your mouth, Doug Benson. You ready? Put your hands together for Maddie Hanson, everybody.

Here she comes. I recently bleached my hair again because it's just easier to look dumb. You know, personalities fade, but beauty is forever. You know, the old saying. I am, I wish I was more like woke, you know? Like I wish I was like, I like Persian people too. You know? I, um, I don't really want to be a feminist. It's a lot of walking. Most of my friends are older gay men. I call them my gunkles, gay uncles.

And they're all bears, and if you're not familiar with gay culture, that's a genus of gays. And they all look like Teddy Roosevelt. And, yeah, they're a little stuck in the past, you know? Like, a lot of gays didn't make it out of the 80s. There you go, Maddie Hanson, everybody. That's got to be a first. She was talking about bears when the bear sound went off. Right?

That's probably a first. That's some timing right there. Yeah. Maddie Hanson, you are by far one of the funniest Fox News anchors we've ever had on the show. This is your first time on the show, right? Where are you from? First time signing up. Northern California.

Northern California. What part? East Bay. Where the bar ends. What is going on? He's out of control. He really is. All Reddit. She lives out by the bearded barley. That's that song. What is going on? He's out of control. He really is. Already.

She lives out by the bearded barley. That's that song. Lines from that song. Thank you. Doug Benson, everybody. Yeah. Maddie, how long have you been doing stand-up? One year.

One year. And you've been doing it all up there? You just visiting? Did you just move here? I've lived here. How long have you lived here? Ten years. Ten years.

Wow. Hey, this is Hunter speaking. I just want to say, I'm not attracted to you at all. That's my boyfriend, Patty Reagan, right there. Why'd you break up with Chris Pratt?

Doug Benson hitting a 1,000 point topical joke. I know. This is what happens. Home run derby. I knew when he lost weight it was over. Maddie, what do you do for work? I'm in property management.

Really? I love how polite you are. When you say property management, is that... Like, what's your day-to-day like? Leasing apartments and then just, like, helping people unclog toilets.

Yeah. Or, like, telling the Mexicans to unclog the toilets. Huh. Yeah. You're starting to win me over. Can I, you know, I've come on this show quite a few times, and people come up here, and they're, like, nervous,

and they're losing the moment, what's going on. Not you. Uh-uh. Yeah, she responds. Like, I want to say, you came up here and, like, owned it, and it's, like, it's a weird angle for me because I just have all booty in my face. But I'm just saying. It's very nice.

But I couldn't see it, but I felt like you were really taking charge, and I think that's great. I don't think you should be doing property management. You should be trying to do this. I don't know why you're. Yeah, do this. You know what I mean? Why aren't you trying to be that? I'm just curious.

Well, I like clothes. Oh. And expensive. You don't think you can make it? Well, I mean, it might take a while. What else do you spend your money on? Clothes. Clothes, food. You live by yourself?

Extensions. I do. I live by myself. Where do you live? Highland and Fountain. Highland and Fountain. Yikes. You should speak to a property manager, perhaps, because that's a horrible fucking location.

Wow. Well, she's a slumlord, apparently. Yeah. Are you going to ask any dudes that are up here today, where do you live? What is your address? I disapprove. What do you guys call that?

Yes, I do ask the guys that. You do? Yeah, I was setting up for a big property management joke. When I asked it, I literally was like, please be a bad neighborhood. Highland and Fountain? Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. And I executed. Where do you go if she says a nice neighborhood?

What's your response? I would have been like, fuck. I would have then gone into another question and made it look smooth. Oh, I like it. Like a good host does. But you did well. Maddie, what's one of the weirdest things about you that you don't want people to know about?

Besides the racism. I'm fine with people knowing that. Yeah, she put that out there. You were strong. That wasn't a secret. It's not a secret. Once you said the fox thing, I was like, there. We were strong. That wasn't a secret. It's not a secret. Once you said the fox thing, I was like, yes. Good to go.

What was the whole thing about you not wanting to be a feminist? That's Stacey the feminist that's on the other. Oh, look at that. Fight, fight, fight. Can I just say, you are what is wrong with every millennial woman these days. It was the walking. You heard what she said. It was about the walking.

Yeah, it's the walking. Well, like unprepared walking. What do you do for fun when you're not doing comedy? I am currently reading a George Washington autobiography. I am currently reading a George Washington autobiography. A George Washington, what are you reading? I didn't know you could do that to people. I'm really into colonial American history,

so I'm reading a George Washington biography. Wow. Why is she being made fun of for reading? Because they didn't know I could. Is it that shocking that a beautiful woman can read? Do you want the real answer? Wow. Okay, Eric Griffin. You're going to be dying up here very soon.

You said that like his name isn't Eric Griffin. Okay, Eric Griffin, or whoever you are. I'm an impersonator. What do you do? I mean, colonial history. That's what you're doing for fun? Uh-oh, Tony's setting up a joke, everybody. I see the wheels turning.

Wow. Wow, Eric Griffin. The way he just asked that question. So colonial. Yeah, I was going back to the last thing we were talking about, but you're right. I was setting up for a joke. Sorry.

Are you going to do that every time that I'm doing that? Yep, yep, calling you out. It's a comedy show. You know that, right? Oh, what are you doing, Tony? Being funny? show. You know that, right? Oh, what are you doing, Tony? Being funny? Tony's the only one

who gets elaborate setups, though, for his eventual punchline. I do not get elaborate setups. You get to lead her into your punchline. We have to just take the scratch. Oh, yeah. You guys have totally been letting me host this myself this whole episode. Yeah. Totally

monopolizing the show I am. I love you guys. Maddie, how do you feel? This was your first time on the show? This was my first time signing up. Wow, and you immediately got pulled out of the bucket. Wow. What a coincidence. Fucking rigged Russia.

There you go, Maddie Hanson, ladies and gentlemen. Her first time on the show. Your first person that you got to meet tonight The slumlord of Hollywood Back to the bucket we go She's from Northern California I'm going to be at San Francisco at Cobb's August 30th It looks like I wanted to smack her ass But I was just waving at the guys, Stacy. I wasn't, you know, it looks like I wanted to smack her ass,

but I was just waving at these dudes like, hey, y'all. As a woman of color, I felt conflicted about her, but whatever. Ooh, is this Julia Jimenez back here? Yes. This guy's belly button's deep enough to do. Bring it on, Eric Griffin. Bring it on, Eric Griffin. Deep enough to do. Deep enough to do. Bring it on, Eric Griffin. Deep enough to do.

I do not appreciate you fat shaming my sister back there. You guys need to go on a feminist march. That's how you get rid of... Okay, Eric Griffin. Maybe you could join the march, Eric Griffin. I will. It's a great way to lose weight. What's your last name?

What's your last name? Jimenez. Jimenez. More like Hermenez. Extra, yeah. Very good. Extra hole Jimenez. Okay.

All right, boys. I pulled another name out of the bucket. This is the part where I say the name that I pulled out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Justin Sherman. From deep in the corner, he's running. He's got a good pace going. He could be out of breath by the time he gets here. Justin Sherman, everyone.

Come on. Thank you. Thank you. I was walking here, actually, on Sunset Boulevard, and I was walking in front of these two guys that they said they were excited about tonight because they're going to get their dicks wet. And I think, guys, we've got to stop saying that

because, first of all, any time I think of a guy getting his dick wet, I just picture, like, a glass of water and then just him just dipping the... We should say it not when we're talking about hooking up with someone. We should say it when we're talking about going swimming. Then I'd say it all the time. Okay, boys, pool's open.

Want to come over and get your dicks wet? Come on, Steve. Just splashing your friends, like, get in over and get your dicks wet? Come on, Steve. Just splashing your friends like, get in here, get your dicks wet. Let's go. That was 15 seconds. I don't... Got speakers and there's...

This is great. Let's turn the neons back on. Let's turn the neons back on Let's turn the neons back Yeah there we go Start my time over A minute from Justin Sherman Was that okay I did it

Justin how are you buddy I'm good how are you How long have you been doing stand up Like consistently probably like two years Where are you from Omaha Nebraska Where are you from? Omaha, Nebraska. Where do you live? Yeah.

Oh. There it is. Are you near Fountain? Give us the intersection. What's the closest highway? Hey, Justin. Hey, Justin. What are you reading?

Hey, Justin. Justin. Justin, you ever had a girlfriend before? What? You ever had a girlfriend before? What? You ever had a girlfriend before? Yeah. It's the best, isn't it? Right answer.

Are you just visiting from Omaha? No, I live here. I've been out here for like three years. What do you do for work? I'm a PA, production assistant. Ooh, working on anything cool? Just photo shoots. GQ covers?

It's not. Nice. Who's been on the cover of GQ covers? It's not. Nice. I shouldn't have said that. Who's been on the cover of GQ lately? We did Wonder Woman. I don't think I'm actually supposed to say that. Gal Gadot! Yes!

Yes! The best movie ever! Shing shing! I argue with people about this all the time but I think she's attractive the Wonder Woman girl? alright I guess that's for a different show I think she's kind of hot, Brian agrees

is that all you see in her? her looks on the outside not her ability to save humankind what? Justin she's fine what yeah yeah dude Justin how many when you say that you didn't do it consistently stand up for a while what ended up happening to where you stopped doing it

well I started in Omaha there's only like one open mic a week so I don't count that yeah down at Omaha Haas why can't it be I don't understand why it can't be called an open Michaela occasionally. Oh, my God.

Why does it... Don't you dare... Okay, you've started it right now, Red Band. Okay, it's back on. Okay. Good joke, babe. So, there was one open mic. Hello.

What were you doing in Omaha to keep yourself occupied during those other nights and days? I worked in a warehouse. I was saving up to move out here. What was in the warehouse? Furniture. It was called Nebraska Furniture Mart. It was a giant warehouse. That's all.

I wish I had more to say, but that's it. It's okay. What were you doing specifically? Did you get to drive a forklift or anything like that? No, I just loaded furniture into cars. Ooh, into actual cars? Not even trucks? Trucks.

Oh. Get those two trucks. It's trucks. Wow. Can we go back to Maddie's apartment? What is your love life like? Do you miss it? Do you miss loading things? Every day. Yeah. Every day. Can we go back to Maddie's apartment? What is your love life like? Do you miss it?

Do you miss loading things? Every day. What's your love life like? I mean, it's all right. I don't know. You have a girlfriend? No, I don't. The last time you had sex, what was that like?

Yeah, how much trim are you crushing? Wow, I've never even heard that verbiage before. This show is just turning into a machismo pig fest. We're talking about getting our dicks wet. How about you get a pussy wet for a change, Eric Griffin? Holy shit, Stacy. Can I slap this bitch? That's what I want to know.

Pat just kissed his girlfriend Stacy for you podcast listeners. Man, if you're not watching this in VR, you fucked up. I'm telling you right now. I'm surrounded by monsters. You need to get your beat back. Monster energy drink. So, Justin, the last time you had sex, what was that like?

It was a lot of fun. Yeah? Where'd you meet her at? This is so uncomfortable. Let it happen, Doug. Please, for the love of God. It's like the worst thing you could do. Let it all happen, Doug. No, it's alright. Where'd you meet her at?

I met her at a friend's party at a bar. You met her at a friend's party? What was the bar? What was the cross streets? It was in Los Feliz. Oh, call back. It was Public House in Los Feliz. Great place.

Did you go back to her place or you went back to your place? I don't like that bar. Our place? My place. You moved in together immediately. You know how you try to tell somebody's got to give the details to see if he's lying or not? Plus, in real life, this whole thing would go straight to HR. At the warehouse.

Just asking somebody, hey, what'd you fuck last? How was that when you were fucking the last time you did it? Tell us all about it We could just talk about movies and pot continuously But on this show we like to get into some compelling subject matter And put people on the spot in a live show Nobody cares about movies Oh, okay, I'm sorry, I forgot about the put them on the spot nature

I mean, it's a live show, Doug, it's a whole thing You've been a guest like nine times But I'm glad that you're having it. Was she a white girl, black girl, Mexican? I completely get what's happening. That's why I'm saying it's weird that you're asking him those questions. So now I'm really going to get into detail. When you got her back to your place, what happened then?

God, good grief. We were both really drunk, so we just, you know. Was it consensual? Yes. Jesus. How, you know. Was it consensual? Yes, Jesus. How do you know it was? What part let you know that it was consensual? She was drunk. She initiated all of it.

I don't ever initiate with girls. If she does not audibly say yes, it is rape. Please. Stacy brings her own roofies. I don't know where to stand up here Anything stand out to you different about this last girl you had sex with That sort of was special or that was annoying Or that you liked or didn't like?

No, God, I suck I wish there was No, it was pretty normal She's dry or wet Because you don't like having wet sex or something, right? Yeah, every time you hear... Red band trying to pay attention.

Get back to the sound effects, bro. It's my favorite. There you go. Hey, dude. So when you said you worked at a furniture whorehouse, what does that mean? Like, chase lounges and lazy boys

fucking each other? Okay, Hunter, we're going to have a talk in the car after this. You've been having fun, though, doing stand-up and working as a PA you're excited about life very cool he's the best well it was nice to meet you Justin all right you too thank you there he goes another first timer on the show he's on Twitter it's Sherman Comedy make sure you tweet hashtag and at kill Tony a lot of people said that we were trending on Twitter last week so

I want to see if that can happen again. So make sure you hashtag and mention at Kill Tony. It's a real fucking crazy show. I don't think people realize how live this thing is. Put your hands together for Jeff Frucci? Frucci? G-E-O-F-F? Wow, is that possibly him walking like the Undertaker

at the slowest pace perhaps I've ever seen? He stopped. Is this him? Here he comes. I do believe it's him. Thank you. Can I get your number? I'd rather just ask now. Do your stat that I won't think about. Ah, thank you. So I'm from a small town, and actually that song, is it on iTunes yet?

The Lonely Drug Dealer? Because I'm from a small town. I sold drugs two doors down from the sheriff. And people asked, that was pretty hard. How did you do that? And I said, it's pretty simple. I just sold my 20s for 15. I'm moving into a new place right now.

And my roommate has a dog. And I don't has a dog, and I don't have a dog, so it's not fair, because dogs are going to ruin the fucking floor. And I think we might as well just play curling with rakes, and just fucking... I mean, it's going to be the same effect. It's the same thing. I just don't think it's fair,

because we're going to have to pay, you know. But this is actually my third time doing this, so just trying it out. Thank you for the laughs. But it's fun. I like doing this. I'm trying it out. Thank you for the laughs. It is fun. I like doing this. I'm waiting for this fucking kitten right now. It's not going on. Oh, no, no. We want you to keep going.

This is great. That's a meta. Jeff, how do you say your last name? I have a question. No, wait, wait, wait. You have a question, huh? Man, we've really let this thing get off the tracks tonight.

Where do you live? No, no, Kill Tony just started right now. Okay. First of all, I want to acknowledge, you really have the comedians in a ruckus. This is like a comedian favorite or something? These people must love watching you bomb all around town. Is that what it is? it's on a bomb streak

oh I thought they were sincere laughing no now I could feel the hatred I was like why do they love this guy so much you do sort of look like a seal I do see where Brian's going with this immediately. Do you hear that noise ever?

Does it sound like your parents arguing? That's when you would hit it again. There you go. Anyway. So what's your question, Jeff? Should I go by my middle name? Jeffrey Allen? It couldn't matter any less.

I agree a thousand percent. Your name is not what's going to define you at all. Because nobody's going to wonder what it was when you're done. You know what I mean? It's alright. You're one step away from doing sound effects

on a podcast. Here we go. Eric Griffin. Oh, no. When you call him out, he overcompensates when you get him good like that. I can make noises. I'm going to show you. I will make lots of noises. Jeff, what the fuck? What's your thing? What do you think happened as a kid or what do you think your

parents drank or did? If you had to guess, tell the truth. You can tell you're a little bit sluggish, right? A little bit. See, he knows. Stop your fucking pussy ass oohing and aahing out there. Why do you think you're slow? The weed thing? It's not that. Don't blame the weed, man. It's not that. Come on, man.

Doug is a functioning high person right here. Yeah, I'm so fucking functioning. His parents hit him in the head with a brick of weed when he was there. That wouldn't even hurt, dude. Fucking weed is soft as shit. Yeah, so he fell on the grass. You know what I mean? He fell on the lawn.

Hey, Stacy. Hey, Stacy, you know what I mean? He fell on the lawn. Hey, Stacy. Hey, Stacy, you know what this dude looks like? He looks like his former jujitsu is beating up Jews. Okay, what did I say about doing this in public? We're going to talk immediately as soon as we get outside. Jeff, how long have you been in L.A.? I keep waiting for him to go, Rock-a-bye.

Remember that guy that sang that song? Rockabye. That's what he looks like to me. Everything's gonna be alright. Rockabye. Rockabye. Yes, and he also looks like he was born in an

octagon. Right on the right over the Monster Energy logo. That's what's in the middle of the octagon. Right over the Monster Energy logo. That's what's in the middle of the octagon. Jeff, what are you doing? Like, what's your thing? Just trying it out. Trying it out.

You can't get to the hospital. Let's go to the octagon. What do you do for work? I make chocolate. You make chocolate. Oh, my God. Now I remember. It's all coming back to me. You've been on this show before, right? work? I make chocolate. You make chocolate. Oh, my God. Now I remember. It's all coming back to me.

You've been on this show before. Right? Twice? Wow. Shut up. I was like, Grandpa, what have you been doing lately? He's like, I make chocolate. Man.

What exactly do you do at the chocolate place? Are you like the... I mean... Is this the Forrest Gump theme? Yes, it is. Are you Willy Wonka out in the world undercover? No, he's a big Oompa Loompa. Are you an escaped Oompa Loompa?

Tony, I have a positive. He did learn how to talk into a mic this time. Yeah, that's true. I have a positive. He did learn how to talk into a mic this time. Yeah, that's true. I forgot about that. Last two times you were on the show, you were ridiculously quiet. Now you're starting to project. Tile vomit all over the stage. Yeah.

Jeff, how are you surviving making chocolate? How did you get that job? Direct deposit. What? I said direct deposit. What? Direct deposit. He made a direct deposit joke.

Oh. He's saying that his chocolate money is directly deposited into his account. Oh, it hurts my brain trying to figure out how that's funny. I'm trying and it hurts because I don't know. Eric, if you could translate the rest of this interview

it would be appreciated. Eric, I didn't know that you spoke Devil's Rejects. Everything's gonna be alright. Where exactly are you from? Rockabye. Michigan. Michigan. What part? Beaverton.

Trailer? Grew up in a trailer. Yeah. Oh, wow. Can I say something? This is your third time, and you like doing it. I love it. Okay, but do you like ride it all? I do. Okay, but do you, like, ride it all?

I do. Okay, and you're going to keep coming back until? Always. All right. Great question. You're two steps away from being Stacy's boyfriend. Would you hook up with Stacy? Would you, Jeff?

If you had had, do you drink at all, Jeff? I smoke more. You smoke more alcohol? Yeah, I smoke I smoke more. You smoke more alcohol? Yeah, I smoke more. So how many joints or drinks do you think it would take for you to really give it to Stacy if you had to guess? I would be asleep. What? I would just be asleep.

I wouldn't. That's pretty cool, isn't it? Stacy, he'll fuck you in his sleep. That would be a weird rape. He's asleep? It's happened. Jeff. Weird shit happens on Ambien.

Jeff, how old were you when you lost your virginity? 20. 20? What family member was it? Oh, come on. Stop it. Behave yourself. Oh, thank you.

The golf clap duo in the front. The perfect audience applause. That was right off the teleprompter. I love that. Perfect for the 360 viewers. Wait a second. Oh, wait. Can we rewind for one hot minute?

Oh. Did he really just say he would only have sexual intercourse with me if he was asleep? I believe that is what he said. Yeah, about a minute and a half ago. You need the translation. Hunter, go. Beat him up. Oh, I thought you wanted me to leave.

I'm glad, babe. I'll stick around for the entire life span of both of us. I'll fucking put roses on your grave and I'll visit every day wow you're like the worst Franco ever he looks like a Franco doesn't he well that was only the first third of my speech but I love you

oh shit I'm glad I interrupted now I get why you have to be asleep to fuck Stacy okay this is really getting off the rails. Let's get back to this interview. It's really inappropriate in here. Anything crazy happen to you in the past few weeks since you haven't been on the show? I had a jujitsu competition.

You had a jujitsu competition? Yeah, how did that go? I lost, of course, you know. Yeah, you really rear naked choked on stage tonight. I can tell you that. Whoopsie daisy. Whoopsie daisy. Whoopsie daisy. Is that a fucking jujitsu joke?

Wait, do you go to jujitsu like you sign up for this? Like, you don't really do jujitsu? You just went? Did they pull your name out of a pumpkin and you had to fight a guy? Next in the octagon will be... Oh shit, my name came out of the purple pumpkin. Wow.

So how did the jujitsu competition go for you? Have you changed clothes since you did it? I had a three-piece on last time. So how did the competition go for you? It was fun. I had a good time. What happened during it did the competition go for you? It was fun. I had a good time. What happened during it? It was a charity event.

What was the charity for? You? One of the instructors. What was it for? Special needs is not a funny topic. Move on, Tony Hinchcliffe. But like in a charity event Is that like

If it's for special needs Mud wrestling You know what I mean Mud wrestling for kids with autism You know what I mean That kind of thing That'd be good Yeah so that's what he did

He did jujitsu For whatever the cause was Everything's gonna be alright Go fund me Rockabye Go fund me Did you guys raise a lot It was a lot

Probably 200 people Very cool Oh yeah Alright Anything else Did you guys raise a lot? It was a lot of people. Probably 200 people. Very cool. Oh, yeah. All right. Anything else? I keep doing this. Well, you know what?

What did you just say? I have a question. You drive a Mercedes, right? No, stop, Jeff. We're not going to talk about this. No more questions. What? All right. Now I sort of want to know.

What is your question? You drive a Mercedes, right? Yeah, he does. Why did you get that and not a BMW? There's no way I could answer this question without sounding like a huge dickhead. It is the question we all want to know, Tony Hinchcliffe. I had a BMW before the Mercedes, and I test drove this Mercedes, and it was better than the other BMWs. Sorry.

Hate it. First world problems. Why is that bad? I just don't, I don't know. I don't like bragging about having a nice car. People like to drive a nice car sometimes. Oh, with you fucking comedians I do, you're damn right, but not with the podcast fans and stuff. I take the bus because it's eco-friendly and more friendly on the human footprint.

Isn't that the same thing? You just said the same thing twice. Eco-friendly and human footprint, same thing. And I don't have a car. So the dye in your pink hair, that wasn't on animals or anything like that? I don't know where this is going, Eric Griffin, but you need to change your attitude immediately and focus on the task at hand.

Yeah, sacks for you. Jeff, I'm going to ask you one more question. What's something creepy that you do that you think is sort of creepy that might creep other people out sometimes? Oh, great question. Besides right now. I already said the first time I was on here, my brother and I shared jerking off socks.

I mean, you already asked my question. No, I want to know something. First of all. Socks even come in pairs. You don't need to share jerking off socks. You could take one each. That is such a good point. And it's brothers, only three.

Wow. Well, I mean, maybe they're the wetness. Such a good point. And it's brothers, only three. Wow. Well, I mean, maybe the wetness. Their Jergoff sock was the original YouTube. It was a Christmas sock. I'm just saying, see the benefit of it. I don't know. Is it crusty? I mean, you could cut yourself.

I think it's just laundry time. So it's a clean sock. Was it a white sock? Black. It was after white sock? Black. It was after you guys were done. That's stupid. Once you go black, you never go back. Wow. Interesting.

Once you go black sock. How about anything recently creepy that you've done? That's back in the day. I talked to you about five seconds ago. What? What? What is this? By the way, who said that Jerry Springer audience to the left of the stage tonight? You guys are fucking crazy.

Also, literally, who can even understand what he's saying and you're oohing? Well, let's find out if he's the father. Come on. Yeah, if there's like some sort of new new wave of comedy you can't understand, I think you're going to do great. I'm going to change my last question. Like Tom Hardy comedy. I'm going to ask you another one.

You're from a trailer park in Michigan. Not a trailer park. It's a trailer. Oh, wow. You weren't even at the park. Jeez, that's even worse yet. Listen, I just live in a trailer. It's a bit of a difference.

Wait, so you guys were rogue? It was like a rogue trailer? It was a rogue, yeah. You just put it wherever you wanted to put it? Wait, what cross streets in Michigan was this trailer at? Callback, Young Comics. That's called a callback. Are you going to ask the guys what cross streets they're at?

Wow. Okay, so here's my question. All the stuff that you've seen your family do and all this and that, if you guys were going to be on an episode of Jerry Springer or something like that, what do you think the thing would be? Your uncle once or your mom or your dad once did this, a bop-a-dee-bop. What's a fucking thing with your family? It would just say, Dad, please get a job.

Hey, your dad provided a very nice trailer that can move to different places. Why wasn't your dad getting a job? What was his story? Drinker? Heavy drinker? No, he just laid on the couch, liked watching TV. What did he like to watch? Women, work, and progress in society.

That's what he liked watching, Tony. I highly doubt that, Stacy. He did watch The View, so he's got your corner. Is that true? That's very true. 11 o'clock a.m. That was like porno for trailer parks. He wasn't even much of a drinker. He would just sit on the couch and watch TV in a trailer.

Interesting, right? Maybe the TV only got ABC. Yeah, if you guys are on the road, how are you getting that kind of TV? You steal it from the neighbor like everybody else. Wow. This is interesting shit. You just need rabbit ears for that, Tony.

Jeff, I think you're your own fucking documentary. I don't know anything about... You're a horrible guest on this show, but I think a great... Your own documentary. I've never said that to a guest before, but there he goes. Jeff Frucci, everybody. Yes. Everything is gonna be alright

rockabye rockabye everything gonna be alright rockabye rockabye rockabye rockabye rockabye. Rockabye. Rockabye.

Rockabye. You guys having fun out there or what? I pulled another name out of the bucket. Another uninterrupted 60 seconds goes to Jud Zumwalt. Oh, shit. Here he is. I can't wait. Judd Zumwalt, everybody. Come on.

Thank you. I got to apologize. I didn't know Jeff was going to tell you about our sock situation. Sorry about my little brother, guys. Man, I got a complaint with that Indiana Jones movie. Y'all seen that? Indiana Jones was born in 1899. 34 years earlier slavery was abolished

but somebody had to teach him how to use that bull whip I think Taekwondo might be a scam I got my black belt when I was 10 years old I'm 30 now I don't remember a thing and I'm positive I belt when I was 10 years old. I'm 30 now. I don't remember a thing, and I'm positive I can kick a 10-year-old's ass. How is this the most offensive thing you've heard

tonight? I think snowmen are stupid. That's your minute. There you go. Judd Zumwalt. First of all, I'm already jealous of the hair. I was just going to say I love you on Friday Night Lights, and I keep waiting for you to have a feature film role that lives up to that.

Thank you. I also love you as the top half of every centaur I've ever seen before. You really lucked out not having that bottom centaur half. Judd, you've been on the show before. It's been a while, right? Yep.

What you been up to? Changed jobs. My movie came out that we talked about last time. Yeah? What's the name of the movie? President's Day. Ah. Remember we did all those president's puns?

No, I don't remember. I don't know why everybody thinks I always remember every single person's appearance. We're at 230-some episodes of an hour-and-a-half-long show, Judd, and you're not that memorable or likable. No. Why do you guys keep making that fucking noise? It's driving me crazy. Whoa.

I'm sorry. You know you're unlocked. It's secretly Red Band. It's got another. That's the secret sound effect. Whoa. Judd, where are you originally from? You remember from last time I was on?

No, I don't. Where is it? North Carolina. North Carolina. Oh, I'm going to be in Charlotte in two weeks. Nice. Anyway. What conditioner do you use? Sorry? Conditioner? North Carolina. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to be in Charlotte in two weeks. Nice. Anyway. Wow.

What conditioner do you use? Sorry? Conditioner? What conditioner do you use? You know, whatever's there. Oh, I hate it. Wow. It's conditional.

You're the worst. I'm not lying. That looks too luscious. You're like, you walked up here. You take care of that shit. Yeah. Stacey, what do you use? Other women's tears.

Me too. That'd be a great product. It looks great, Stacey. He uses the same thing, I bet. You do all right with the ladies, right? When was the last time you fucked? Yeah, good question. People love to know.

Now I want to know. Judd, what is the answer? You seem like a real lady. How long have you had a girlfriend? A year. We just hit a year. Nice. What does she do? Yeah, is she here supporting you? The first goddamn applause I got.

Does she look like a boy from behind and you make people sad walking down the street? It'd be great if she had short hair. And dudes came up behind you. What's up, girl? Oh, shit. She's better looking.

Has your career changed since that movie President's Day came out? Slightly. What's the new job? You said you switched jobs? Yeah, I work at Barney's. Barney's? Beanery. Oh.

Yeah. That's the wrong side of the Barney's that you want to work at. Yeah. The clothing store? No, the beanery. No, I mean, last time I was here, I was in a dish pit. So it's, you know, slightly better. a dish pit. So it's slightly better. Wow.

They're not homophobic anymore. Stacey, what do you think about that? This guy was taking a job from a lady as a dishwasher. How does that make you feel, Stacey? Okay, the fact that you would assume that a woman should be doing dishes, first, is insulting. I think, second, it's great he's providing for his girlfriend, as he should. Yeah, babe.

Thank you, Stacy. So now you're Barney's Beanery. With the one on Santa Monica? Yeah. Wow. You get hit on by a lot of gay guys? Yeah. What do you do?

Give them a handy out back? So the hair's for the tips. Is that what's going on? Just the tips. Hey, when you're in a relationship. That's the funniest thing you said all night. You too. You opened with the Indiana Jones reference.

Topical. I liked it too. You were sort of like, hey, how about that Indiana Jones? Right, like it just came out. How about that Indiana Jones thing? Not even which one. You were sort of like, hey, how about that Indiana Jones? Right, like it just came out. How about that Indiana Jones thing? Not even which one. There were four of them. There was also a TV show.

Hey, when you're in a relationship. What are you talking about? Indie. It was called, what is it? Young Indie. Yeah, Young Indie. It wasn't called Young Indie. I know that.

Hey, when you're in a relationship. Young Indiana Jones Chronicles or some shit like that. Oh, yeah. Little baby Indy. Yeah, I'm over here. When you're in your relationship, do you ever look into your girl's eyes? Not as much as I looked into your girl's eyes. You're a traitor, dude.

Wait, I think Stacy sort of likes this. Look at this. Fight, fight, fight. This attention is kind of nice. Just like a woman. Okay, Eric Griffin, you and I, outside, ten minutes, fight now. Ten minutes and right now. Wait, all your feminism went out the door as soon as you got some attention.

He wants to fight right now and again in ten minutes. I've never really heard somebody get double called out like that before, but he's a feminist. I will fight you twice. So now? Uh-oh. Are you going to go out and fight right now? The moment has

passed. So Judd, you've been with your what does your girlfriend do? She works at UCLA in the extension program. We're talking about hair extensions, right? Yeah. What does that mean, extension program? They just reach out to

UCLA is pretty popular in America, but they want people from other countries to come to their school. Extension to other countries. Yeah. Interesting. So they go and they recruit. Yeah, basically. So she's gone all the time fucking other dudes? Yeah.

They've been together a year though, right? How long have you been doing stand-up? Five years. What's the coolest thing you've done in five years of doing stand-up? Five years. What's the coolest thing you've done in five years? In five years of doing stand-up. Hold the fuck on. Five years? Five years.

Probably once or twice a year. Yeah, total time. Total time. Counting Kill Tonys. Do you do a lot of spots? Yeah, I do. Fouring kill Tonys. Do you do a lot of spots? Yeah, I do. Not as many as I want to. Four times in five years.

But, I mean. Oh, my God. So. Hey, in 20 years, he's going to be great. What's the coolest thing I've done? Yeah. What's the coolest thing you've done in five years of stand-up comedy? The coolest thing I've done is my movie's on Amazon Prime, and I'm working on my second one now.

Wow. What's the next movie going to be called? I've got an Amazon Prime right here. Wow. The next movie is called Confessions of a Porn Star. So she's a female Autobot? It's called Confessions of a Porn Star? Yes.

And what's your role in it? I'm an 80s porn star. It's a mockumentary. Oh. So what scene do you die of AIDS in? The one after I fuck your mom. Whoa, double your mama jokes over there. Alright.

Right to your mom jokes. I don't know, I feel like we could probably be good friends. Five years. Judd, we noticed that you have a little bit of like a Miley Cyrus thing going on. You have that big luscious hair a bit over your... It's on both sides. Oh. Wow.

Why that? What made you take some off the sides? I don't know. It's just been long for a while. I thought it would feel good. Wow. Which Indiana Jones movie were you referencing? Do you know the difference between them?

Yeah, all of them. He's the same age. I mean, he's the same character in all of them. Oh, that is true. Good point. Temple of Doom or nothing! Does your girlfriend have a foot fetish? Because you are the sexiest big toe we've ever had On this show

Man You can't see his big toe No he looks like a big toe His face Jesus Christ By the way the funniest thing is Joel Berg The drummer that's usually here, Joel Jimenez, is notorious for killing in a streak.

I'll free the nipple right now, Tony. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, all the time. He kills in a row always. But this just goes to show, I think this transition just goes to show how unfunny female comedians really are. Okay. Okay, Tony. I mean, he's always... Wow.

Horse of Truth. Whoopsie-daisy. We have the Horse of Truth on this show. That's what it is, the Horse of Truth. Alright, Judd. There you go. Back to your horse body. Go be the top half of a centaur. Yeah, he has to go slay something mythical.

Clearly, as you can tell by how the mic is set, Wee Man is going to be coming up here to be your next comedian. Shout out, he's actually in the house. Boom, Wee Man. Make some noise for fucking Wee Man. Hell yeah. Right down the middle. Those are our buddies.

Nice to see you man Fuck yeah I pulled another name out of the bucket Put your hands together for Adam Bennett Snoop Dogg Everybody that went up is like 6 feet tall Why was this down here So I've been in LA forA. for four years, and it is fucking hot here. Like, everybody's like, oh, it's summer all the time.

The sunshine, yay. To which I'm like, the fucking trees are dead. It was really bad a year ago when on the news all you saw was there was this huge storm right off the coast. And it was bringing all this torrential downpour. And like fucking Coldwater Canyon and Laurel Canyon were dissolving in on themselves like the atmosphere just dropped in acid and all those old dead trees I just talked about were like

oh it's a boggin ride before we drown and meet Satan and everyone was like it's gonna save us are you fucking shitting me I know I'm from the east coast but I'm staring into the angry maw of Poseidon just coming at me like a watery freight train, just... And I look around, and you're all going,

I'm singing in the rain. Just say, you have achieved a whole new paradigm of fucked. I am sorry. Now, don't get me wrong. I come from a place where I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Everybody hates you. Anyway, that's the end of my set. Adam Bennett.

I'm from Pittsburgh. Good night. I like how prepared he was. Adam, Adam, how's it going, man? It's your first time on the show, right? Yes, it is. How long have you been on stand-up? This is my third set.

Ever? Yeah, my last one was about two years ago. Adam, you should move the mic stand out of your way so the audience can see you try too hard. Better. When you delivered that paradigm of fucked joke and there was complete

silence, did you feel like you were in a paradigm of fucked? and there was complete silence, did you feel like you were in a paradigm of fucked? Patty Reagan. Please mansplain it to him. Pat. Could you go a little harder on him? That was rough. I love it.

I like your energy. It's very nice. Thank you. I like your hair. When you get tired of him, just let me know. Adam. That's all this attention I'm getting tonight. We're going to fight with our shirts off pretty soon. Adam, Adam, over here.

Just relax, okay? You're a chimey little one, huh? Where does all this energy come from? Well, mostly, it's my first time. I was trying to get my whole set out in 60 seconds. Do you have a musical theater

background? No, I have a theater background. I thought I might have smelled that a little bit. I hear a little, like, Hallelujah! Wait, that's not what I was saying. I'm saying it. I was saying you had a theatrical, like a college or high school theatrical energy.

I'll say it. I think Adams had a... You just said, faggot. That's what you just said. I did not say that about... The undertone. You just went, faggot. I did not say that about this heterosexual young man.

Are you straight? Yes, I am. I knew it. Do you ever eat at the Barney's Beanery on Santa Monica Boulevard? Not after they wouldn't hire me. What? I tried to apply there. They wouldn't hire me.

What do you do for work? I am a server. Where? Yard House right by LA Live. Thank you, Dick. Oh, that's a good yard house. That is a good yard house. Is there some kind of yard house rating system

that I don't know? I like yard house in general, but that's a good yard house. It's real good. How long have you worked at the yard house? I have been there for a year, or almost a year. What did you do before that? Server?

I've been a server for five years. I've been in L.A. for about four years. Places other than Yard House that you've served? I was at Gulfstream in Century City before it closed. I was in Season 52 in Century City before it closed. Both good restaurants. Thank you. Look out, Yard House.

You're closing. Yeah. I'm restaurants. Thank you. Look out, Yard House. You're closing. Yeah. I'm a curse, basically. So, Adam, that's interesting. Your most recent relationship was how long ago? About two months. Yeah. How'd that end?

She decided she wanted to be with her ex again. Yeah, dude, you shouldn't have showed her your comedy. That must have been when your second set was. So this is your third time on stage. How do you feel about it? Is this something that you like? Yeah, I like it. I mostly, like you said, I have a background in theater.

I try to do voice acting, so I'm not used to... Can you give us an example of some wacky voices you could do? Can you name the voice and then do it? Yes, if you talk to an old man, he comes into your restaurant. Son, the son is farting. That's a bad one. Okay, let's move on. Oh, man, that's just amazing.

Who is that? Try another voice. Who was that? Try another voice. Who was that one? That was bad old man impression. That was bad old man impression. I can do my creepy high-pitched voice for you. Creepy high-pitched voice for me. Talk about the same high creepy pitch voice that he's doing right now.

Now you're going to say it's bad, but wait. You're going to go to sleep tonight. Adam, anybody can do these voices that you're doing. These are impressions of just, yeah. You got to do something more specific. Hold on. You got to be more specific. Who can you do an impression of?

Mark Hamill's Joker. All right. All right, let's see. Here we go. Let's hear it. Memories can be wild. Memories. Memories.

All right. Awful little brutes like children, I suppose. All right. You are hired. Wow. We wonder why you're going so hard on this guy over here. I don't know. It's because his girlfriend thinks I'm hot.

So, Adam, what are you into when you're not, I mean, what do you do for fun? What are some things when you're not working at the art house and doing, obviously you don't do much stand-up, so what do you like to do to have fun? I'm kind of boring. I live in North Hollywood. I love the art center over there just because there's not a lot of people. It's very intimate, very quiet. If I'm going to go out, I like there to be as few people as possible,

just to chill, quiet little... You like to go to the art center, is your answer? Art? Faggot! Okay, that word is offensive and shouldn't be ever used as a punchline. Okay, cunt. Hey, Adam. Punchline.

Okay, cunt. Hey, Adam. Adam, I'd like to compliment you on your good job. I love you, and I think that you used very good words. You had better vocabulary than 90% of these fucking nimrods. Oh, now you're sucking his cock? Wow. You went hard on the guy when you first came out. He's all like, you're so good with your words.

Is it all dick stuff with you, Eric Griffin? It's all dick all the time. Other than the Arts Center. We got the Arts Center. What's your second favorite thing to do for fun? You live in Los Angeles, California. Honestly, I... Sort of like I said in my

set, I'm not a huge fan of living here. Nothing against LA. Because of the heat? Because I'm an East Coast guy. I like trees. I like hills. I like the woods. Well... Hallelujah!

I like long walks and the... I like long walks and the I like the leaves changing wow all that kind of stuff but you know did you ever do voices when you were like

serving at Yard House and those places when you like give the food do you like do a little old man voice you ever funny at the table yeah

are you that guy at the table I'm very good at my tables I'm the guy who goes back to the employee area and just makes fun of the guests when they annoy me with everybody else. Oh, that's what we're going to do to you when you...

You've been doing it while I'm on stage, so why bother? All right, Adam. Well, it was nice to meet you. You're not on social media? No, not yet. Okay, well, there you go. Not yet? You should totally check it out. What are you waiting on?

Adam, I get the feeling that if you keep up your work ethic, you're going to be back on the East Coast in no time at all. Anyway. There you go, Adam Bennett, everybody. Thank you so much, guys. There you go, Adam Bennett, everybody.

Thank you so much, guys. You podcast listeners can't tell this, but... Three notes the whole show. They keep playing the same chords. Play some shit. You got to admire a comedian who's going to get into the game without social media. That takes some nerve. You know what? Let's do...

Guys, please. Can you... I mean, really. It's out of fucking control. It's live as fuck. Everybody, get it together. We're going to... And then we said a thing, and then you just read the next name.

It's that easy. I know. That's the part that I'm trying to get to. Guys, right now... There was silence when you started telling us we were talking over you. You're like the bingo guy at church. Sorry you can't host. Pull the shit out of the bucket.

No, that's not how it works. On this part of the show, this is the part where we bring up our regular every single week. Every single week she does a brand new minute. We're going to go back to the bucket after her. You know her. You love her, everybody.

It's the Frankenstein of Kill Tony, the great Allie Makovsky. I accidentally watched porn when I was seven years old for the first time. It was a frightening experience. I wanted to watch just a humble kid's movie. I pressed play on my dad's old VHS tape. Bam, 80s porn, black and white. I was terrified. I screamed at the top of my lungs.

And my dad from downstairs says, what's wrong? I was like, It's spiders. Now whenever I see spiders, I just get all horned up. I can't watch any of the Spider-Man movies. I'm like, Spider webs on my face, please. I read this study that you eat eight spiders in your sleep. I just found out I eat 58 because I just fucking love spiders. How much time do I have?

I have one more joke, but I feel like maybe leave it there. Okay, I wish my mom had a fidget spinner. Because there's no technical issues with fidget spinners. I don't want to have to call her anymore being like, Ali, my fidget spinner isn't downloading. Okay. There you go. Perfect.

There it is. Thank you, Stacy, with some new notes. That's five new notes for you, you bitch. Oh, I love this. Allie, that's fun. Any of that true? Yeah, I accidentally wanted to watch the porn. That's true.

You were at your dad's place? I was at my dad's place, and I wanted to watch a movie, but I was like, let's just see what's on. And boy, did I not want to watch that. So your dad just has porn ready to go at all times. Yeah, he's ready. It's just into VHS. He just hits the...

You should tell the thing about seeing porn too early, and then go, speaking of fidget spinners, it's a good transition. Was it a specific kind of porn? Did anything stand out to you specifically? Was it just Skinamax? I remember it was black and white and the girl had a huge bush

and I had never seen anything like that before. I was pre-pubescent literally. You mean she was natural, Allie? Yeah. Thanks for the outfit, by the way. You never saw your mom's bush growing up? Ali. Yeah. Thanks for the outfit, by the way. All right. You never saw your mom's bush growing up? No, but here's something I think about.

Growing up, I was the third born, so whenever I would see my mom naked, her tits were just so gross. And I wish that I, see a picture of her in her prime, because I want to know what, like, her young, hot tits were like. You have Stacey riled up right now. Maybe they were disgusting because they were breastfeeding your

arrogant little dumb mouth. I don't want to be a feminist anymore. Why can't you see a picture of her? She doesn't have pictures of her. There's no pictures? No. She existed before photography? I don't think she was a woman who took naked pictures of herself.

Oh, naked she was. Yeah, I want to see like prime tits. You want to see her naked. Did you mention to your dad or hint to him at all that you saw his porn? No. How do you think he would respond if you told him that? He'd probably be super chill about it. Yeah.

Well, you know, think of this, though. At that moment you turn that porn on, that's when your dad comes. Ew. Yeah, that is a really good point. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. I can't believe she didn't think about that. Yeah, he just got finished going, you know, then he turned it off.

Yikes. So you probably saw some story. Yeah, there was probably still the smell of hand lotion in the air. Oh. Yeah. What did your dad do? Both of my parents are longshoremen.

Really? Have we ever talked about this before? Maybe. They like load stuff on docks? Yeah, they work on the docks in San Pedro and Long Beach. And the cargo that comes in from China, they like take it off the ships and put it on land. Your mom does this too? Yeah.

My mom was the first one to do it. Is it so surprising a woman can do the exact same job that a man can, Eric Griffin? Well, now we know what's wrong with her tits. You know what I mean? Does she get paid the same? Yeah. Yeah, nice. That's how it should be.

Equal pay for equal work. Does she get called a longshore woman? No, just a longshoreman. Keep it simple. What do you think about that, Stacy? Do they call her a longshore chick? No, they call her a longshoreman because they're Jewish.

What? Shoreman? Shoreman. Boy. Jesus Christ. Wow. My God. Okay. How many people are... Tracy and Hunter in the car right now.

I mean... I don't know. You need to sign up for Kill Tony, doesn't Eric? He does sign up for Kill Tony. I have't know. You need to sign up for Kill Tony, doesn't Eric? He does sign up for Kill Tony. I have, Eric. It's gone well, okay? It's a goddamn anomaly how unfunny he's been tonight. What is happening?

One out of a thousand, sorry. You're damn right. I'm the first to defend. Joel Berg's a killer Julia Berg Sucks Alright Anything else in your real life

Crazy since a week ago? I don't think so I don't think so You're jobless right now Is that correct? I'm still jobless My parents actually signed me up To be a longshoreman

Oh wow Family business Yeah And I was like No thank you Right It's just too much. And I was like, no, thank you. Right. It's just too much work and I don't want to do that.

I want to be a comedian, you know? Yeah. I can't tell jokes on the docks. It's sad. That's true. I don't know if that's true,

but I'm sure everybody on the docks. Yeah, that'd be great. No, because it's like a solo thing. It's not like teamwork. Oh, you're not near anybody else?

No, it's like very sad. Who's out here lifting shit? What are the hours and are they hiring? Well, Allie, you did it again. Another brand new minute from Allie Makovsky. There she goes, everybody. Back to the bucket. Who's excited about the bucket out there, huh?

Back to the bucket. Back to the bucket. Back to the bucket. Ooh, this looks interesting. Challenge accepted. Sorry, Tony. Put your hands. And then you just did it again.

You see how it keeps, you guys literally keep, it's the funniest thing at this point. We don't need to do it. Put your hands. They're both stepping on you. Very funny, very funny. The last time we're going to do it.

Okay, very good. Put your hands together for the great Cheezer L, everybody. See, now people don't know who the fuck is coming up. It's a show with a format. The Great Cheeser L, everyone. The Great Cheeser L. All right, I was excited about that.

I'm smacking a hole. Oh, here he comes, the Great Cheeser L. You're not the Great Cheeser L. Wait, you're just walking through at the time? That's a guy that just sits there. That is bad timing. Put your hands together for Wayne Roberts. Wayne.

Wayne. Stand up. Put your hands up. Wayne Roberts, everyone. Clap your hands for him. Thank you. Sexy crowd. Talking to this guy with the beard and glasses right here.

You ever find yourself sitting all comfortable at the window, staring out at the beauty of nature and life and thinking, wow, how the hell did I end up in the psych ward? Again? And why am I comfortable? That beautiful Big Pharma cocktail. While in there, I had a suicidal roommate. His wrists were so scarred, it looked like Spider-Man cuffed him with webbing. When not in the cuckoo house, he was an actual licensed nurse. So again, I was comfortable. Bam! Food made you roll your eyes.

A nurse that liked to wake you whenever the hell she wanted. Drunks and drug addicts riddled the place. Felt like the house I grew up in. Comfortable. Wayne Roberts. All right. Okay. Jesus fucking Christ.

I'm so sorry that I challenged Stacy. Can we get those three notes back? Wayne Roberts, everybody. Wayne Roberts. It's about that. Wayne, your set sounded like Johnny Depp narrating a movie. You're just on one today. Was that all true?

Absolutely. I like that. I like the honesty. Can I give you a brand new stage name? Chuckles Norris. Except you're going to have to get good before you can call yourself Chuckles because right now it's just Chuck Boris or something like that. How long have you been doing stand-up?

Sporadically for a couple of years. You started in the prison yard and you worked your way out to the comedy clubs. You been to prison before? Jail, not prison. What did you go to jail for? Just the DUI and drunken disorderly, a couple of those. Ooh, what were the disorderlies? Did you do anything fun?

Rip your shirt off, do something crazy? Well, you're not feeling like that right now, though. Peeing on a bush. Because I'm the first person, you know what I mean? If you start to go crazy, please go that way first. We've all been drunk. What was so disorderly about what you did? There was a little bit of a scuffle outside, and the cops came.

What was the race of the people you were scuffling with? Wow, it got quiet here like it wasn't a funny question at all. No, it was all white. Yeah? Like he likes it. Fucking believe I'm standing here. Why? Why can't you believe it? I just didn't expect to get my name picked.

You signed up earlier, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, but I just didn't expect to get picked. Yeah, it's not the lottery. There's not that many. There's a very good chance you't expect to get picked. Yeah, it's not the lottery. There's not that many. There's a very good chance you're going to get picked. Yeah, probably about one out of 60, 65, 70, something like that. What do you think about that?

I'm still surprised. Do you get lucky a lot? No. What do you do for work? I focus on voiceover. Really? I go to jail. Can you do an old man?

Yeah, can we hear some of your voices? Well, this is my creepy voice. This is my old man voice. I think he's more of an announcer guy. Really? Can you give us a little example of something that you can do or have done? Right now, my biggest thing is honk hook tire. Can you give us an example of what that

sounds like when you do it? Trying to remember the lines. The words. You could really just say anything. I don't give a fuck as long as it sounds like your voice, radio voice or whatever. Fine, man. Blanking. Yeah, this is it.

This is what you would hear. Just that? You just talk just like that? Luckily it would just be my voice And it wouldn't be so fucking bad Wow 2017 In your voice Can you say

I'm sorry I told that guy He looked like a big toe I'm sorry I told that guy He looked like a big toe How old are you? I'll be 46 Friday And you How long have you been on stand up?

Sporadically for a year and a half Almost two years What made you start? Just finally decided I wanted to do it and finally got the balls. You ever been married? Yeah. What was that like? Sucked.

I knew that from the yeah, just the way you said that. Yeah, what sucked about it? What'd she do? What was the thing? It just wasn't the right mix. She was black? What happened? Thank you.

That might have helped. I'll be here all week. Hey. How long were you with her for? Total six years. Yeah. And when it went wrong, it wasn't one thing in particular. It was just a plethora of things?

Or can you be any more descriptive about where the marriage took a wrong turn? Simply put, I got accused many times of being unfaithful, which I wasn't. And then at the end, I decided, fuck this, I'm doing it. Yeah. Yeah. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah. It is interesting.

But you were with her for six years. Like, at what point did it start to get shitty? Was it year one? Or tell me it was year five. No. It was good. Here and there, it was mostly good. Okay.

Thank you. Say something nice about her. It went bad. It went bad. When you got into that fight for the drunken disorderly, do you remember what that fight was about specifically? It was with her. Well, what started it?

My girlfriend at the time didn't want me to drive, so I threw my keys a few yards. So we had to go search for them, and there was some arguing going on with other people. Somebody told them that there was a domestic dispute, which there wasn't. So they came and harassed us, and I was stupid and said, you just leave us alone or fucking arrest us. So they arrested me like an idiot.

This sounds a little suspect. That's pretty much it. If you say shoot me, they will. Well, not you. Anything crazy happen to you ever when you were in jail? Anything that stood out to you? Did you get fucked? Yeah.

I don't think he did. This guy doesn't look like he even picks up the soap, let alone drop it. Whoa. Tony said he doesn't bathe properly. No, but that was quick. Tony's on fire. I'd like to see you be the new Travago guy. Travago, yeah, I think you'd be a good sponsor. Oh, I hate that guy so much.

Least favorite? Any memories about jail, anything? Travago. I was hammered, so the two times I was in jail, I don't really remember much. I bet you were hammered. What was the psych ward? What happened at the psych ward? I had a little bit

of a meltdown and stupidly recorded it and put it on YouTube. Really? Tell us more. Come on, Wayne. You're like almost a good interview. You're so close to being a good interview. Can we watch it? Yeah, the fight was over something.

It was a crazy fight. And then I did a meltdown. What the fuck are you talking about? Tell us, motherfucker. Describe the fucking meltdown, Wayne. You're being interviewed right now. My ex was keeping my daughter from me, even on the phone. Yeah.

There was some shit. Some stuff went down family-wise. Yeah. And I melted down a little bit, recorded it like an idiot. Like, what did you, when you say... And I was accused of, I was accused of saying... People are always accusing you of shit, Wayne. Yeah.

Only one... So, what did you do on this meltdown? Yeah, go ahead. I was accused, they said that I, I mentioned suicide, but I didn't? I was accused They said that I I mentioned suicide But I didn't say I was going to commit suicide So because of the video They put you in the psych ward

Yeah Some people called the cops And then they treated me like a child molester But you weren't really going to commit suicide I never even said that Only one person heard that And that was my ex That was the only view that you had on your YouTube page?

Jeez, Wayne, we really have to... What were the comments underneath your video? She was the only one that heard it. Only one person saw it, but there were two comments for some reason. This shit sucks. This is the worst goddamn meltdown I've ever seen. Those YouTube commenters are mean. You ever been accused in VR?

ever seen. Those YouTube commenters are mean. You ever been accused in VR? Oh my What the fuck is going on here? How do you know how child molesters are treated? You said they treated me like a child molester. Three cops came in about a suicide

call and they treated me like I just fucked all their grandmothers and kicked them in the face. Oh, like it was a really bad thing is what you were saying. It was disgusting. A friend of mine was there and he thing is what you're saying. Okay. It was disgusting. Like what? A friend of mine was there, and he said, what are you guys doing? Be more descriptive. What were they saying or doing?

They were looking at my kid's pictures and going, oh, is that your kid? Ain't going to be seeing her for a while. Because you were threatened to commit suicide? I actually hadn't. That's what they had been told by my ex. Jesus. But I never actually said that stuff. Did you ever get any revenge on your ex for any of the shit that she did to you? No.

Have you ever been to a trial? Like, did you go to, like, were you in front of the judge talking like this? Much later. Yeah. This is right before you went to jail, right? Do you have mackerel in your pants? Because this smells fishy. Yeah.

I don't even think Johnny Cochran could have got you off. You know what I mean? Have you seen the movie? This whole section is not laughing at anything. What happened to you guys over there? Oh, okay. They're mad I'm taking up all this time. They're done.

Tony, say something offensive so they can react. Hey, comedians. This could be you someday. Have you seen the movie Big? I have. Okay, great. That's actually an interesting thing that you brought up because Brian and I, during this

episode, and since we're in 360, this will be something fun for those of you live streaming it right now. We were talking earlier about how this guy in the red shirt looks like the child from the movie Big. He's grown up. You weren't the child from the movie. Why don't you stand up? Take a bow for everybody.

He looks like the actor David Poff. Turn around. Look at everybody. Wave to them. Wave to them. The people behind you. There you go. Very good.

Why does that look like a hair piece? I actually looked it up, and it's not him. He looks like shades from That Thing You Do. A little something fun for the people in 360. Good one, babe. All right. Well, Wayne, let me ask you a question. You've been accused of a lot of stuff.

You've been wrongfully put in jail, psych wards, this and that. What is the most criminal thing you've ever done in your life that you maybe got away with? Maybe you didn't, but maybe you did. Here's another video for YouTube. I'm trying to think if the Statue of Limitations has run out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It has.

It has. It's 2032 right now. It's two years in LA. Think back to when you were treated like a child molester. It was a radio station deal way back in the day that, I don't know, somebody won. It wasn't me, though. Right. Are you reading, like, a law and order script?

This stuff is the vaguest motherfucker. Are you being interrogated? This would be the worst law and order, you know. Wayne, come on. Wayne, tell us the story. What is it? Were you accused of being a Kenny Loggins impersonator? I'm all right.

Wayne, tell us the story. What's the most criminal thing that perhaps you got away with? Come on. Wayne, answer one fucking story. What's the most criminal thing that perhaps you got away with? Come on. Wayne, answer one fucking question, will you? I've answered a lot of questions. Has anybody ever interviewed you for anything before? No, I'm usually the one doing the interviewing. All right.

I know that you know exactly what it is. I could tell you're just hesitating to say it. But the statute of limitations has run up. I'm positive of this. These kind of answers is why the dude from Making the Murderer is still in jail. Shit. Wayne, come on.

You going to give it to us? No? Somebody I knew won a big contest, and maybe I had something to do with it. Maybe I didn't. Frog! You're a little teddy bear. It's true.

I think he was wrongfully accused of all that other stuff. That was like an episode of CSI. Wow! Redman, I think you should play that after every question Tony asks him. And let's try it right now. Red Band, I think you should play that after every question Tony asks him. And let's try it right now. What did they win on the radio? What did your friend win that you may have had something to do with on this radio station?

And what was your cut? A chunk of dough. A what? A chunk of money. A chunk. Keep doing it. It's working. You can only call it a chunk if you're guilty.

Did you or anyone involved in this do any time for that? Do any time for that? No, no, no, no, no. You just got fired. It's the first time I've said it publicly. Well, we love you for that, Wayne. Right, audience?

So wait, wait. So you admit... You admit to the fraud of that contest, and what was your cut? Yeah, good question. What was the percent? Free weed. Still getting it. Whoa, still getting it.

Wow. That's the scene where the lawyers are walking into the... When you were in court for any of the past things you ever did, did they ever collect a bunch of information about you called building a character of the past things you ever did Did they ever collect a bunch of information about you Called building a character Of maybe past things you've done bad Like broadcast live on the internet And stuff like that

Not yet You're awesome Wayne Wayne you look like a living police sketch Hey what is that Is that Joel Bird coming out Wow Finally Hey, what is that? Is that Joel Berg coming out? Wow. Finally. We have waited all night.

I'm glad I was the butt of him coming back. You got it. Your head hair and your facial hair look like you're an actor in a scene in a movie where later on you're not going to have any of that. Yeah, you're just going to take your mask off at some point. It all looks fake. Yeah. It looks good, but fake. And he has a of that. Yeah, you're just going to take your mask off at some point. It all looks fake. Yeah. It looks good, but fake. And he has a hoodie on.

You know what I mean? Right. Does anyone ever tell you? All right. All right, there he goes. Wayne Roberts, everybody. He's on Twitter. Wayne Roberts.

8-1-1. What do you guys think? Bucket one more time, huh? One more? Bucket one more time, huh? One more? One more time. Kenny Loggins over here. All right, here we go. Put your hands together for Tierney Michon.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You, doing that thing you do, breaking my heart in two. Okay, so I'm from Minnesota, and I'm going back on Friday. And I was bragging about that at my job. And this guy's like, oh, well, I really like the Packers. I was like, okay.

I went and pegged you for a sports guy. And he said, oh, yeah, how would you peg me? And I couldn't resist. And I said, soft and slow to start. So I've never actually pegged a guy. I've never been asked. I would consider it. But I'm afraid that I would lose interest after the pegging.

Because I've done some butt stuff. Not a lot, not a lot. But enough to know that it's, you know, when it's going in, I know the faces and the sounds that I make and it's sort of like no, no, no, no, no. Too big, too big, too big, too big. So I just

Wait, wait. What are you doing? Keep going. We're gonna let you finish. We're just getting to the butt stuff and you're giving a kiss? Let her finish. Fuck, red man. Go ahead. Finish the joke. Oh, I mean, that's like, I'm just afraid that if I saw that face, if I saw

somebody make that face, I'd never be able to get near any part of any... We would just be friends. There you go. Tierney Michon. Wow. Perfect.

Jeremiah. Feminist Stacy. All that butt stuff, you're coming off like a real Maria Bam turd up here. Oh. I love her. You were on the show last week, correct? Not last week, but the week before. A couple weeks ago.

And we found out you were crazy as fuck, didn't we you you can admit that you like own that right that's part of your i mean i um there's only there was only a short period of time where i tried to suppress my personality to be to be popular but um that. Yeah, your segues are very, very interesting. It shines, your insanity, your deep-rooted craziness. Why are you going back to Minnesota? Oh, because it's just a vacation. My best friend who lives in New York is turning 30, and so I'm surprising her.

By going to Minnesota. Surprise! I'm in Minnesota now. Happy New York birthday. We were neighbors growing up. You're going to Minnesota. Surprise! I'm in Minnesota now. Happy New York birthday. You're going to New York? We were neighbors growing up, so she's going home to visit her family, and then I'm going to show up. We have this whole thing planned. She's like, what the fuck are you doing here?

I'm going to be hiding in her bedroom, and then I'm going to come out and be like, ah! You're going to do a goat impression. Probably. I'll do something. And butt stuff. No, Monique is not into butt stuff. Monique is like. Oh, it's a black girl.

No, she's not. She's German. Monique. Monique the German? Monique the German. Wow. Germans do not like butt stuff. They like it coming out, not going in.

I think that's a blanket statement and a lot of people like butt stuff you would be so surprised no I don't think any of us would be surprised I'll go ahead and speak for all of us we all like a little butt stuff I did know this because I've been in such long term relationships with people who weren't

into butt stuff and now that I'm single and I'm having casual sex with people that I barely know, and all of a sudden there will be like a whoop, and I'm like... Eric, Eric, you like butt stuff? Eric, you like butt stuff? You said you like butt stuff? Just a little thing?

You like a finger? Why do you think God made the prostate? It goes right into the knuckle on his penis. Let me break this non-sensory up. That's not the show. I actually need some advice. How does one go about? Because it's always been me.

They do it to me. A pinky. Yeah, a pinky, of course. You don't go with a thumb. Do you have to ask? Oh, you have a whole notebook on butt shit. Do I have to ask permission before I do it? Because they never do.

They don't? No, they fucking do not. You don't just whole notebook on butt shit. Do I have to ask permission before I do it? Because they never do. They don't? No, they fucking do not. You don't just go to the butt stuff. That has to be like a... One guy grabbed my ankles, lifts me up, and starts licking my butthole. I'm like, no! Wait, wait. That's the part that you had a problem with?

Yeah. So he lifted you up by your ankles, and you were fine with that. You were like, okay. And then the butt stuff, you were like, okay, this has got to stop. Are you a bad wiper? Am I a what? Bad wiper?

Oh, no, no, no. The guy that lifted you up by the ankles and ate your ass, was it the last comedian that was on, Wayne Roberts? Ha. Because we saw him eat shit on stage tonight. Hey, oh.

Because we saw him eat shit on stage tonight. Oh, Tony, you and your elaborate setups. Rock-a-bye. So the guy grabs you by your ankles. He just starts eating your ass. And what do you literally say? You're upside down. I mean, I'm into everything that happens with that guy. He's a CrossFit instructor.

Really? I thought he was Shug Knight. What was the thing? Sounds like he's more of a CrossShit instructor. Yeah. You know what I like about him? He's very open to exploring, and he's so... Oh, really?

He likes to go spelunking in your anus? You know, spelunking is one of my favorite words. Oh. Oh my God. So this guy, he knows you're a little... Oh, yeah. So that's why he...

Now, does he ever take you out on a real date or is it just like 3 a.m. he comes over with some tools and shit? No, actually we... So we tried dating initially, and then he ghosted me, and then I sent him a picture of a Ouija board four days later, and he's like, what? And I said, I'm just trying to contact a ghost here. Wow.

And then he's like, okay. And then he came over and licked your butt. He just told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship, and I clearly wasn't either and I'm absolutely not. And so we just decided that since the sex was good, maybe we should just stick to that.

And he's very busy, I'm very busy. So we make, we have scheduled booty calls and they're usually earlier in the morning. So they're like 8.30 in the morning. Early morning booty calls? So he goes to work with a shitty mouth? Okay. I always clean myself right before we do anything.

It's a literal booty call. What do you clean yourself? It's an eat my booty call. On fire tonight. Took him two hours, but now we're here. I like it. What did you do? Start doing shots of testosterone back there, Julia?

Yeah. Wow. I'm transitioning, Tony. You're transitioning into being a man? Yes. You're getting funnier every minute that the show goes by. Oh, stop it. Oh, and they're back.

Stop it. The aws are back. Yeah, the fucking oozers over here. So you have a morning booty call with your ex-CrossFit instructor that lifts you up and does freaky shit with you. So the phone rings at 8.30. Like, what do you do? Oh, no, we schedule it, like, days in advance. Oh, it's in your Google calendar? Your alarm goes off?

I don't do calendars. I just have my calendars in my mind. Whoa. Oh, no. Do you, like, Ouija it? Like, do you want to eat my hole? Do you have a Ouija board? No, I haven't had a Ouija board

since high school. You got the picture up the internet. On the online, yeah. So, I thought it was clever. It's one of the most clever things I've ever done. I was really proud of it. Well, you got him back.

And it worked. I got him back. It worked. And you got him back. And it worked. I got him back. It worked. And he got you back. Oh, and he's back. Just when you thought the tides had turned. She's back. She's back.

So you're just going to visit Minneapolis or Minnesota? Minnesota, not Minneapolis, not nearly that cool. It's a place called Detroit Lakes. Small town, small town. And my littlest brother, who's going to study to be an engineer.

That town's so small you can't turn around without licking a booty. Yeah. I'm surprised you're not from the Twin Shitties. Oh, yeah. It's a Minnesota joke, you assholes. Yeah, come on. You twin assholes. Don't twin pity him. Come on. It's their Minnesota joke, you assholes. Yeah, come on. You twin assholes. Don't twin pity him.

Come on. It's their main agriculture, corn holes. So you're just going back to visit? Yeah, it's just a brief visit. I usually only go back once a year, and I'm glad that this will be a second time this year. I love Minnesota, but it's not a viable option for an artist. Yeah. You said you go

back once a year? I mean, unless I... I could go to Minneapolis, but I feel like I... I'm just not ready to give up this pipe dream yet. Did I ask you what you do for a living here? Oh, yeah. I'm a server. I'm the typical, the prototypical waitress.

Waitress actress. Oh, what? Where are you a server at? Well, prototypical waitress, waitress actress. Oh, where are you a server at? Well, there's this new place called Mixed Company on Sunset. It's like a little coffee shop, and then it transitions. Into an escort service? You know what? It kind of feels like that sometimes. I mean, the show has to stop.

We can't. We're getting there. We're getting there. We're almost there. That's the closer right there. In fact, it is. What's the cross section? We have to call back. Have you guys heard of Seeking Arrangements?

Yes. What? One of my friends is doing it, and I'm wondering how legitimate it is. What is it? It's a website where you sign up, and it's sort of like a dating profile but you're basically saying, I want a sugar daddy. I want to fuck you and I want you to pay my rent. Yeah, mostly escorting.

I think I'd feel uncomfortable. I was just wondering if anybody knows if it's legitimate because I get propositioned by older men all the time. That's all it is. First you said your friend, now you're saying you. I'm on there. What is it? Is it for a friend Now you're saying you I'm on there What is it? Is it your friend?

Is it for a friend? Is it your profile? Is there a sugar dating website Where they lift you up by the ankles And eat your ass? I get that for free Wow No they're stealing your change

They're shaking your pockets out When they hold you upside down What are you talking about? I'm not wearing pants Yes you are Oh I mean when I'm being lifted by the ankle. It's called an analogy. The change is my dignity.

They're stealing my dignity. You didn't have any to begin with. I promise. Tierney Michon, everybody. There she goes. Tierney Michon, everybody. There she goes. Tierney Michon. Killed Tony. One, two hundred and something.

The drawing from Ryan J. Ebel. That's what it... Whoa! Motherfucking Ghostbusters! Holy shit! Look at that drawing. Oh, the show doesn't end until you finish the drawing.

The Monster Energy Outbreak Tour goes absolutely everywhere. I'm taking the great feminist Stacy, Jeremiah Watkins, and the whole crew of Jeremiah's cast of people and me. We're doing theaters around the country. Nashville, Huntsville, Louisville,

Indianapolis, Cleveland, Columbia, Atlanta, Charlotte, Baltimore, New York City, Boston, San Francisco, Portland, and Los Angeles. Doug Benson was here tonight. Doug Benson. Cincinnati and Columbus this weekend. DouglosMovies.com. Always a pleasure.

Get out there, you Buckeyes, and go see the great Doug Benson. Eric Griffin. Butt guys, you say? Butt guys. Hey, last episode of I'm Dying Up Here is going to be next Sunday. Yes. And just go to my website, ericgriffin.com, because I've got a bunch of dates coming up.

Get the Showtime app if you don't have the channel. Just binge that shit. Get it, watch it, review it, write a good review, leave good YouTube comments, do the whole thing. I love that show. Yeah, please do. Patty Reagan's got a new album out called Bad Chat. Hey, stop the show.

Stacy? Ah! Will you marry me? Are you giving her a nouveau ring? No, I was gonna propose to you. I'm a new age woman. How dare you embarrass me in front of everybody here.

Get up off your ass. I'm talking to you in the car immediately after this. Jeremiah Watkins. Stacy, you're friends with Jeremiah. Does he have anything else going on? Yeah, he's got a lot going on, okay? Anything that he told you to plug? Yeah, the Munster Energy Drink Tour with Tony Hinchkin.

No, what else? The Munster Energy Drink Tour with Tony Hinchkin. No, what else? The Munster Energy Drink Tour with Tony Hinchkin. Okay. Come see Stan on the spot every second Tuesday of the month and reach out to him on social media at Jeremiah Stan.

I swear to God, I'm going to tuck you in the car. Joel Berg. Joel Jimenez was in the house. What's up, Joel Berg? Not much. I'm mostly sorry. Thanks, guys.

That's pretty much it, Brian. Right, band? Live audience? Thank you so much Thanks for coming out We love you Hey, stand on that chair. Stand on it. Stand on it. And I'm going to find a way to let you know that you'll be mine someday. Because we could be happy, can't you see?

If you'd only let me don't want to hold you. Keep you here with me. Hang out with us on the patio. Get my clients and everything after the show. We're all going to be up there. That's all I can tell you. You can tell us how great the show is. It was.

Have a good night. Bye. Thank you.