KILL TONY - KILL TONY #235

Episode Date: October 20, 2017

Weeman, Tal Wilkenfeld, Ali Macofsky, Pat Regan, Josh Martin, Joel Jimenez, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - Date: 10/16/2017 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Order up for Rebelsis. Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out DeathSquad.tv for all the past episodes and everything Kill Tony. Click on Tour Dates, and you'll see where Death Squad is at next. We have a big Halloween show coming up October 29th at the world-famous Comedy Store. It's a Sunday, and we have Preacher Lawson on the show. You might remember him from old episodes of Kill Tony and most recently on America's Got Talent. Also, Death Squad with me and Kate Quigley are coming to the Midwest for a small tour.

You got Indiana, November 8th at Morty's Comedy Joint. We got Columbus, Ohio, my home club and town. That's at the Funny Bone, November 9th. And just announced November 10th, Pittsburgh at the Arcade Comedy Theater at their new theater that they just opened up. So check out DeathSquad.tv and click on tour dates. Also, Tony Hinchcliffe has a website and he has a bunch of stuff there, including his tour dates.

He'll be in the La Jolla Comedy Store November 10th, November 22nd, and 23rd, and 26th and 28th. He'll be in Australia. So go to TonyHinchcliffe.com. Ryan J. Ebelt is the house artist. He draws every episode. He drew this episode. He drew the poster. You can get all the prints and posters at his website, RyanJEbelt.com. And last but not least, don't forget

ShopSquad.tv. We have a few hats left, a few shirts left, some stickers, sticker packs that come with Death Squad fidget spinners, go to shopsquad.tv. Alright, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Rampant, coming to you live from the world famous Comedy Store Main Room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Here's Tony.

It's me. Hello. Hi, everybody. Come on. Make some noise. Fucking place. Comedians, hello. Good evening and welcome.

I'm excited to be here with you at the number one live podcast in the world. Some unfortunate news, ladies and gentlemen. I'm just going to let you know right up off the top. The great Ron White was scheduled to be here tonight. And unfortunately, his plane malfunctioned in Austin, Texas at 5 o'clock this evening. I got a text a little after 5 saying, not going to be able to make it. My plane is broken. His own personal

plane, I think, also. However, he will be here next week, and anybody who came to this show tonight, even though I'm sure a lot of you are visiting from around the world, but whoever came here tonight automatically gets in next week, on top of all the other people that are going to be here for Ron White.

Live from the Comedy Store next week. Save yourself five bucks by bringing your receipt from tonight or whatever the fuck. And I'm going to Australia, Brian. I'm going back to Australia for the third year in a row. I'm going to be spending Thanksgiving in Australia.

And you know when that is. That's November 22nd in Melbourne, the 23rd in Sydney, the 24th in Sydney, the 25th in Sydney, the 26th in Brisbane, and the 28th in Adelaide. So for those of you listening, oh, I can hear one of their jungle birds. Oh, the old Australian jungle bird. Oh, look out. Whoa. Okay, okay. I don't think they have elephants, Brian. So I'm excited about that. La Jolla and some other fun things coming up all at TonyHinchcliffe.com.

I'm excited about that. And I'm excited about tonight's episode. Oh, the great Ryan J.E. Belt. He's back. Ladies and gentlemen, back from his trip to Texas. We went a whole week without him. Not easy to do. We were jonesing for our ryan j belt he's gonna draw tonight's episode whatever he sees go down

up here while you all sit there like a bunch of lazy asses you're gonna see by the end of the show he drew a drawing of tonight's episode it's gonna blow your fucking mind all of his prints of every show including the official kill tony poster available ryanjbelt.com you know what else i love speed weed speed weed delivers

weed to your fucking house. What? So that's a good thing. We're on Speedweed tonight. Alright, so in place of the great Ron White, I decided to do something

sort of super creative. I decided to have one young man make his debut on this panel. How many of you out there are real Kill Tony fans? You've listened to the show before. Some newbies up on the second level. I get it. Well, one of the cast members of this show who's never actually sat in on the show, we've had Jeremiah and Pat as guest panelists one night while this man played his instrument. This guy joined the show a year and a half

ago. He blew our minds every single night killing it. And our other friend, the star of Jackass. Put your hands together for tonight's guest. It's Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez and Wee Man. Yeah. Look at this. Dreams really do come true. You can hear the Joelberg chants. Listen to that, Brian. I'm a Joelberg fan. Do you hear that? Listen to this fucking Warzone. Joel Berg. The fucking dream has come true. The little boy that worked at a skate park for how long? Nine years.

He worked at a skate park for nine years. A year and a half ago, he joined the cast to kill Tony as the drummer. And now, speaking of skate parks, now your first time on the show guesting is with this motherfucker. My man. Dude, and we were just talking in the back. He's like, you still go to the Culver City Park? And I'm like, you ever been there? And he's like, dude, we used to go all the time.

Wow. And I'm like, oh no, I haven't been there lately. You fucking skateboard guys. Yep. Well, I'm excited about this. Welcome back, Wee Man. Always fun. Thank you. Thank you. You gave me one of the best fucking pairs of underwear.

What is that underwear? Skivvies. Oh, my God. They were amazing. I love giving dudes underwear. Where's my underwear? Some diggers. It's been in my trunk every fucking Monday for like three weeks.

I left it there. You think I want two packs of XL underwear in my trunk for no reason? It's good squeegee. Every time I open my trunk, I'm like, why the fuck haven't I given that to him yet? I also have a fun fact. This is what happens on Mondays. We have so much fun after the show. I also have your, what's his name, the country music star?

Oh, yeah. Wheel Walker Jr. Wheel Walker Jr. I've had a vinyl album made out to Red Band. If it's in your car, it's melted. It's been three months in the heat. If you ever wanted to listen to it, it's going to be fucked up.

We're also going to do something special with the band tonight, guys. You must be wondering who's going to fill in for Joelberg. In a very, very exciting revelation, we have a super band here tonight not only do we have the kill tony band but we have the kill tony band plus plus put your hands together for them it's the greatest fucking band in the land the greatest band in all of comedy it's the kill tony band pat reagan jeremiah walkins tall wilkenfeld and chris the bass player on drums. Yes, that's Tall Wilkenfeld, ladies and gentlemen.

Bass player for The Who, Jeff Beck. Real musician. Oh, geez. And also, it appears as though we have cats. We got damn cats. Oh, god! Tal is also a cat. And Jeremiah is a cat. I cannot believe you guys are going to be fucking cats tonight. If you don't know, every week the band comes out as different characters and they try to commit to those characters and make jokes out of those characters as the show goes on. They are just wild black cats. They are really crazy about yarn.

I've never even seen... Obviously, they've never seen how a cat actually plays before. Ever. These are two non-cat owners doing their weirdest panicky cat impression. Like, a cat has to unravel the ball of yarn to put some kind of fire out or something like that.

Security, we have two black cats. Two black cats. Well, there they go. Put your hands together for the band. There they are. Is that where you're going to sit, Tal? You don't want to be up front with those guys? I think there's a third stool up there for you.

Tal Wilkenfeld, ladies and gentlemen, doing her West Coast California tour. Some really awesome venues the whole month of November. She's at the Troubadour here in Hollywood, November 30th, Solana Beach, Sacramento, Mill Valley, Santa Barbara, Hermosa. Amazing tour. Put your hands together for Tall Wilkenfeld, ladies and gentlemen.

Pat and Jeremiah, you're a couple of fucking cats. How you feeling over there? I want to go inside! Inside? I am on my ninth life! I'm a stray cat! Oh my god.

That's a crazy fucking cat. I've never let him inside before. I'm a house cat, if you haven't guessed, Tony. Oh, look at you. You're so prissy. And then you got that fucking in-heat fucking dirty bitch of a cat next to you.

I'm a house once! Fuck! Fuck yeah. Hey, Tony, can I... I made a new drum kit for the show. It's weird that the night I bring the new drum set, I'm not on the drum set. Wow.

Joel brought a new bass drum. I see it. And by the looks of things, it looks like it is a trash bag. It's a trash bag bass kit. What the fuck? Whoa. It's like Kill Tony Christmas. Cool. Wow. That's like Kill Tony Christmas. Cool.

Wow. That's the real logo. Joel, you're so likable. We'll see you by the end. Put your hands together for our new bass drum here, the Kill Tony band. It's got a death squad. Let's start the fucking show. Let's jump into it.

You guys know how it works. I have a bucket full of names here. A bunch of comedians signed up for the chance. Sometimes it's a comedian. Sometimes it's a completely insane person who's never even seen the show before and they just sign up for things. But if I pull your name out of the bucket, you have to do 60

seconds of stage time uninterrupted. When that 60 seconds is up, you'll hear the sound of a kitty. Meow. Meow. We will be doing that all night. Wow.

Wow. Man, that's awesome. That means wrap it up then or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. Ooh, the cats are scared. Look at that. Look how concerned how concerned they are yes they always tap their feet together with yarn when they get nervous like that all the house cats i've seen their back feet that's what they do wow i just i literally watched a big piece of black cotton go on your tongue right then. You guys ready to start this motherfucking show or what?

Here we are. This is it. It takes a while for all the pieces to get in place, but this shit's about to go down. I'm going to pull a name out of the bucket and we're going to get 60 seconds of uninterrupted comedy. And then all of a sudden the person becomes a guest on a live fucking podcast that not only is streaming out to the world right now but it's also streaming live in virtual reality 360 if you look at that little black cylinder right in front of the microphone there

that means that people can see you from all around the world so don't be stupid, pay attention and enjoy yourselves the first name I pulled out of the bucket tonight is Jur-D. Here we go. Getting things kick-started with Jur-D. I feel like I've seen this name once before at least.

Here he comes. What's going on tonight, you guys? You guys having fun or what? Awesome. Awesome. I'm a father. I have a 12-year-old daughter. And a little bit before Christmas, a few days before Christmas, she dropped this last-minute gift on me. It was like three or four days before Christmas. I'd already done all my shopping, so I couldn't deliver. But she's got a birthday coming up here pretty soon, so I'm going to get her the gift.

She asked me for an electric guitar, and I've got a few reasons why, too. First reason being is musical talent runs very deeply in our family. It does. Second reason being is I'm an artist for a living. I would love for her to express herself in some way artistically. Third reason being is I fucking hate her mother, all right? My mother, she's a real crazy lady. She's a really judgmental person, but I should clarify she hasn't always been that way. Like a few years ago, though, she

started working at a prison. Ever since she started working at a prison... Meow. Meow. Meow. Which fucking cat was that? I'm going to kill it. Alright, you guys have been fun. Jurdy, there you go. Jurdy, so ha ha so why do you look like you just got divorced

like immediately like today you got served papers no no no it's been almost 10 years now man if they ever made a reality show version of cheers you would be in it. I guarantee you that. Is that the Cheers theme? Jer D. Is Jer your real first name? It's Jer, and no, it's not.

What's it short for? Wee Man wants to know what that's short for. It actually... Go figure. It's short for. It actually... Go figure. It's short for Jerry Doody because he looks like every person on Jerry Doody. Wow. Look at the house cat.

Off and running. Good lord. Actually, it's short for... Why don't you be a real animal, like a fucking dog or something? Whoa. Because I already see a bitch in front of me. Oh! I don't know.

Wing people will learn on this show you do not fuck with Jeremiah Watkins. Everybody always thinks he's weak because of his haircut or something. It's very feathered. You don't fuck with this guy. Everybody that's ever leaned in on him gets fucking housed immediately.

It's actually short for Jeremiah. Is it really? Whoa Yeah, there's only one Jeremiah on this show Stick with Jardee It looks wide for Jeremiah How long have you gone by Jare? Is that just a stage name for you? No, it started back in high school

When my first year of playing football Yeah I'd do something stupid You still have pig skin, so it's incredible No, it started back in high school when my first year of playing football. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'd do something stupid. You still have pig skin, so it's incredible. All right, forget it. I'd do something stupid and everybody would be like, oh, Jer. You'd drop the ball.

Yeah, exactly. Jer, why do you look like you do? Like, what do you think, what is the of uh what you do and don't do to make you your shape like what happened there is that like i don't know like i used to like back you're built like homer simpson and he's a cartoon yeah i've never seen it like the homer build in real life like the you have the hips and the belly and but like very very very small shoulders like the smallest shoulders out of anyone on this stage and I'm sitting next to Wee Man right now.

I'm actually pretty proud of you. I know, I'm saying you do. You literally, if we put them side by side, I guarantee you. Will you go up next to him for a second? Can I see this side by side? Chair. Chair, get down for a second.

Kneel down for a second, Chair. Am I right? Thank you. That's what I call master hosting right there. You're damn right I was right. We man have bigger shoulders than you, Chair D. What do you weigh?

Oh, just probably right under 300 right now. Let me get back to my original question. What's your diet like? I'm curious. Cheese? Just a Green Bay hat, sorry. Arby's? It's a lot of steak,

a lot of cooking steak, but I marinate it in butter and shit. Ooh, the old butter marinate. I butter and shit Oh the old butter marinate I butter and marinate steak all the time You ever eat trash and find a baby? That's my pussy patty ring right there A lot of ice cream shit Really? How much ice cream do you eat? Wow.

You just shook your head like you're a fucking heroin addict. Like you're truly disappointed. I have a question. What's up? Because I have major food issues. I think I'm addicted to food. Did you look like me years ago? I used to be ripped as shit. Ah, fuck, man.

Ripped as shit, dude. Chair, how much are you... You stopped playing football. You stopped playing football. How much ice cream... Yeah, like I stopped being active. How much ice cream are we talking about here?

Too much ice cream. Is it true that you ate so much of their ice cream they were thinking of changing their name to Ben and Jer? They might have. If they were smart, they would. If they were smart, they would.

Baskin-Robbins only has ten flavors when he's done. What? What? I fucking love that dirty outdoor cat over there. That's a fucking evil beast. All right, Jer. Wait, what do you do for work, Jer?

Good question. Well, we addressed this a few weeks ago. Actually, I did just start a new job. What would you tell us a few weeks ago? Like, I live and I'm kept by my rich girlfriend. Oh, you do have a rich girlfriend. What does she do again? She's an environmental engineer.

Wow. And she found you asleep leaning next to a tree. She's like, so good. Wow. So what's your new job? You know, it's really weird. I just work from home. And by the way, of all the people.

I marinate stuff in butter. Did she kick you out? No, no, she didn't kick. But I'm like looking to leave her because I'm fucking miserable. Really? I'm telling you, just by the way you're built, the last thing you need right now is a sugar mama. Yes. Really good.

That's just really good. Anyway. So what's your plan? What's the job? You know, I work for this company. They ship me stuff and all I do is I gift wrap it, then I ship it back out. Shut the fuck up. That's it.

You with gift wrap and scissors. You're an elf? How are you an elf? It's yet another thing that it seems like Wee Man would have over you. How'd you get that job? You're a fucking gift wrapper.

Man. So are they already in a brown box? They just ship it to you. It comes in a brown box. You take it out. You wrap it. You stick it back in the box and then They just ship it to you. It comes in a brown box. You take it out. You wrap it. You stick it back in the box. And then you just print off a label.

Is anybody else watching Jeremiah try to take a sip of his water right now? I cannot. It's really not easy when it's a bottle, I don't think. Good kidding. Have you ever got any strange gifts from Amazon to wrap up? Not yet. Not yet? Not yet.

It's been a lot of Apple products. I wrapped an iPhone 8 today. Well, an Apple a day keeps the doctor away, unless you're built like you. Then it doesn't. Fucking pear-shaped and shit, I know. I know. I agree. What's a talent that you have or a special skill or something like that?

Anything? Yo-yo champion or? I mean, aside from back when I was in sports, I can do some impressions. Really? Who can you do impressions of? I always love impressions. Go ahead. All right. Force is strong with this one, it is.

Wait, this is okay. Bad person. That impression sucked it did Okay This is one of my favorite things that ever happens On this show is when somebody says That they can do impressions and then I tap them Of their impressions and we tend to One of my

One of my favorite things to do is to have impressions Off of Jeremiah Jeremiah you want to play? I mean that first, I'm pretty sure... All right. Okay. You got Yoda, right? I mean, that's easy.

Jer, who else do you have in your repertoire? I used to be able to do Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. Why? Is your specialty impressions that people don't know? This way, people are going, that's probably spot on. Can we hear it? I would rather you do the little

Hawaiian girl Lilo than Stitch. Okay, what's your Stitch? I don't even know what that sounds like. Go ahead. Mmm! Mmm! Okay, what's your stitch? I don't even know what that sounds like. Go ahead. Mmm. The voice is strong. Hey, Lilo, come here. Ooh, I never think I can do this. Tony.

Like hand? Tony, why do all of his impressions sound hungry? Truly a child, that's why! Me want cookies! Days it's been butter marinated, perhaps. Barusti! Alright.

Jer, go ahead with your stitch. Oh, yeah, yeah. all right uh jare go ahead with your stitch oh yeah yeah oh god it's that's just that one voice all right jeremiah you agree with that Oh, God. That's just that one voice. Jeremiah, you agree with that? Mahalo. That's the voice that everyone can do. Mahalo. Mahalo.

Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo.

Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo.

Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo.

Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo.

Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo.

Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo.

Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo.

Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. Mahalo. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a good. I'm a decade. None of us do impressions. None of us say we can do impressions. But what's your next impression? You know if Stitch is in the number

two spot, we're in big trouble, people. Big fucking trouble. Well, did you ever see episode 134 of Full House? There's a character that walked through for a moment and he was all like... Where's the butter stick? Okay, Jer, what's number three?

Oh, I got one! Oh, go ahead. The outdoor cat. Do an impression of an Asian fish market at 4.35 a.m. It's like Twitch from South Park. I just figured that out. All right, Jer, what's impression number three? It's like Twitch from South Park. I just figured that out. All right, Jer, what's impression number three?

If this was your SNL showcase, we already got Stitch out of the way, what would number three be? Your mean one, Mr. Grinch. Wait, what? Your third impression is of the guy that sang the songs for the Grinch? What? Number three?

That guy? That's your go-to? That voice? That's it? I couldn't even. I used my wildest comedy writing imagination for like 30 minutes. I don't think I would have been able to come up with something quite that. Do you know who that is? I have no clue.

You just know... Wow. I just heard it a ton of times. Jeremiah, what do you think about the guy from The Consignor? You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. He's not even trying at all. Tony, Ryan J. Ebel knows who that was. Ryan, who was that?

Boris Karloff. Was it Boris Karloff? There you go. You know what? That's a good point. I should use Ryan J. as a knows who that was. Ryan, who was that? Was it Boris Karloff? There you go. You know what? That's a good point. I should use Ryan J. as a human encyclopedia more often. I didn't really realize how easily... I mean, he's a genius.

We always have amazing talks before the show, in which I realize that he is, but I never really utilize it. He not only draws, he reads. That's true. Yeah, that's it. Let's go to our fact checker, aka the only one that reads on the show, Ryan Jane.

Okay, now do I dare to ask if you have a fourth impression? I know I'm spending way too much time with you, Chair, but this is amazing to me. I just love it when people think they can do impressions. Do you have any female voices? Yeah. You're a mean one,

Mr. Grinch. Do you have any more impressions, Jer? Come on. I know you got one more you want to try. Come on. Tell the truth. Don't be shy, dude. This is it. You're in VR 360 and that's just your weight. I think I can do Sean Connery, but I actually can't.

Oh, no, no, you can, and I want to hear it right now on this show. You're in overtime, dude. We can't bullshit anymore. I know you can do this, Sean Connery. I cannot wait to hear it. Mmm, Bond. I've got you this time. Ba-da-ba-da.

He is James Bond. Ba-da-da. Ba-da-ba-da-ba. Ba-da-ba-da-ba. All right, go ahead, chair. Hmm. Bunga Steel. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Bunga Steel. Why are bad impressions my favorite thing in the world? You're the best Alright, Jerry, you're fucking awesome, dude I love your spirit There he goes, Jerry D Listen to how lovely our band is Tal Wilkenfeld

Pat Reagan Jeremiah Watkins And Chroma Chris Some advice also for you Hold your microphone close to your mouth You're really quiet I got the best advice Don't quit the elf job

Yeah chair Hold the mic close to your mouth For a guy that eats ice cream cones every night You should know how to put one of these things up to your mouth You guys having fun? You get the show? That's how it works I go back to the bucket now and I pull another name out. Anything can happen now.

It's fucking crazy. I know. We do it every Monday. That's why we're the number one live podcast in the world. Yeah. I pulled another name out of the bucket. I know this guy. I've known him for quite a few years. It's been a long time since he's been on this show. Put your hands together for Wub Savelle. Thank you. Getting tired of people assuming I have a monster cock? I don't know how to start these rumors.

I have a very average dick. Like, if my dick was in a movie, it would be played by Tom Hanks' dick. I was gone out of a relationship recently Thank you Nothing to do with the dick thing Unrelated Very irresponsible relationship

Like we had a lot of unprotected sex No condoms, no birth control Never had a pregnancy scare. But she did swallow so much of my cum, she won't shit an entire baby. Thanks. Fuck yeah. I fucking...

I love that last joke. Thanks, man. It sounds like it feels like you know sort of feels like I don't know I can't believe

I've never really thought of that before swallowed so much cum that she shit out a baby or really thought of it that way you have like a brilliant mind

of like a giant four year old or something like that well remind me what do you do for a living again sell insurance i do a lot of different shit not like one thing um i do some copy editing freelance sometimes i work for my brother a little bit um host bar trivia You remind me of everybody from Forensic Files. The criminologist. I thought you were going to say friends, like Phoebe.

No, bad kitty. There's nobody that looks like that on Friends. It was supposed to be a likable Samantha. Samantha. How long have you been on stand-up, Wub? I don't know. Samantha! How long have you been on stand-up, Wub?

I don't know. A few years. No, I don't know. I was asking you. Probably like five years. Five years. Have you ever pooped in a box before? Good question. I'm going to say yes.

Well, I have been to China. What is the weirdest place you've ever pooped? My parents. Definitely in China. Was it? What was that like? Like the squat toilet deal where you're just shitting in a hole. How did that make you feel? Terrified I was going to ruin my suit.

You were wearing a suit? What were you wearing a suit in China for? I was like, I went on this trip where it was a deal like if I pretended to be interested in investing in China that I would

get like this kind of free trip. So I did that. If you were going to invest in China? that I would get this kind of free trip. If you were going to invest in China, why would people think you would invest in China? Because I look like this. They just go up to people that look like you and are like, hey, you want to go to China? Want to invest in China? Well, this was set up with this trip.

I used to do a bunch of kung fu. Wait a second. What just happened? How was that a thing that you just said, and how did you have that sound effect so quickly ready? He was still saying fu when you hit the gong. What is a bunch of kung fu? I thought they came in bundles. That's right. Hit the gong. What is a bunch of Kung Fu? I've never seen a bunch of them.

I thought they came in bundles. That's right. Can you show us some of this Kung Fu? Yeah, you absolutely have to. Well, I don't really do it anymore. I do Tai Chi now and stuff. I think that you can show us a little something. I don't care.

I think I've always wanted to see the funeral director bust out some Kung Fu. You know what I mean? Will you fight me? I have cat-like reflexes. Wub, can you just show us a few little fucking somethings? The crowd's going to go crazy if you do it. You can't say you do kung fu and not show. Do it, Wub.

You're so shy. Fucking awesome. Dude. For those of you just listening to the podcast, Wub just sucked up all the energy in the room and then stomped on the stage. It was like some kind of video game finishing move or something like that. I almost saw an energy ball in front of you for a second.

That was some powerful shit, dude. I think he just watched all the Karate Kid movies and just did whatever Mr. Miyagi would do off to the side. You know, when Daniel Sun would look over and Miyagi was doing all the moves. I never would have guessed that you know any of the karate. I would guess, like, the painting the fence. I could picture that part,

but the karate part really surprised me. Kidnapping the child. I didn't know karate had an accounting department. I do Kung Fu tech. Wub, have you ever had to use it out on the streets? You ever had to do some street fighting? No, no. I mean, like, I...

All right. Jeremiah is cleaning the inside of his thigh right now. I can't quite believe he's that flexible. There's a real bundle of junk in there in those spandex, huh, Jeremiah? What's that? Oh, look at that little shy saxophone, huh? He's not neutered. Looks like you were horny before you put the sax

next to it. I don't know. Have you ever had to use your skills in a real life situation, Wub, or at least scare somebody? Have you ever had to do the sweeping part with your arms? They're like, oh shit! Get out of here! Four cholos, they're like, nah, this fool's

crazy. Dude, he's fucking waving waving off my energy, dude. What the fuck, eh? Dude, man, that shit was fucking creepy, dog. Oh, yeah, dog. I don't want no part of this. Dude, that shit like deeply affected me, bro. Okay.

It was like the gayest shit I've ever seen in my life, dog, but I was fucking scared, dude. I thought he was going to turn into a ghost, bro. That's right, eh? That's right. This fucking guy was moving his hands, dude. I thought he was going to turn into a ghost, bro. That's right, eh? That's right. This fucking guy was moving his hands, dude. Okay. So, Bob, I feel like I've asked you about seven times now this question. No, just like in competition or, you know, like in the school box and shit.

Do you have like a specialty move or anything that you do in those competitions or something that you're known for? Something like that? Ripping dirt. Yeah? Ripping dirt, perhaps? He nailed it. Any special things that you have a special knack for? Like mine, for example. Back when I wrestled in high school, I had

an incredible knack for being able to bridge powerfully because I was always almost getting pinned continuously. So I built this incredible ability to really just pop up a few times at least if the person was fucking crushing me in a match and I would just be up

on my head and I'd spin out of it. I'd have a few shots when I had energy to get out of it and it was like a big thing that I was sort of known for. Do you have any special things in your Kung Fu class? For people who don't wrestle, a bridge is whenever you put your penis in another man's butt. Oh, very good. Very good.

I say I wrestled in high school. I say I wrestled in high school and Jeremiah takes a shot at me. We're all vulnerable. Go ahead, Wub. Go ahead, Wub. Go ahead, Wub. Well, I would just like, whenever we'd box in the school or something like that,

I would only get mad pretty much if I actually got socked in the nose. Yeah. So I would just, it was hard for me to get motivated to box, but if you did hit me in the nose, then I would... Turn into the Hulk?

Yeah, what would happen? Can you show us? He wouldn't like me when I'm angry. What would happen? What did it feel like? What did it sound like? What did it look like? I would just rush him, you know?

What, like, like that? No, just start swinging on him, you know? The old crazy white man rush. When you say swinging on him does that mean you didn't do any of the premeditative spell part in which they just get

dizzy before and then they're ready for the knockout finish him yes that mood I feel like that's what that thing would do and then in the end they're like oh my god the stomp like if you did the hand and the fist stomp thing, they just fall over after that.

Oh no, fool, he's doing Crouching Tiger Hidden Faggot again. Wub! Wub! Wub! Have you been declawed? Good question. Wub, have you been declawed? Good question. Wubb, have you been declawed? Yeah, man.

I don't know. I don't know how to answer that. Yep. Oh. Okay. All right. Very good, Brian. I don't think we actually need the cat sound effect board for this one.

All right. Very good. Wubb, Wubb, you ever find a trail of blood on the ground and lick it up? All right, Wub, what else is going on? That's my rescue Patty Reagan right there. Anything else interesting going on in life? You have a girlfriend or anything like that? No, I was doing a show, though, a little while ago,

and some dude did threaten to shoot me at it. Wow, how recent was that? A couple months ago. Why did he threaten to shoot you? Well, actually, technically what he said was, don't get shot now. What were you doing in which he may have shot you? I don't know, just telling jokes, you know?

I almost got stabbed once. I mean, this was in Hawthorne. It's a very stabby place. Where were you telling jokes in Hawthorne? This place called The Family Room. Oh. Is that at your own house? Was that Jer's place?

Jer's like, welcome to the family room. I live in Englewood, so it's not that far from where I'm at. I perform there. They have great chicken. I wish I had a family room. They actually do. All right, Wub. Well, it was good to see you again.

Fun stuff. There he goes. Kung Fu Master, Wub Savelle. You never know, man. You gotta be careful who you bully. Look at him. Seems like you could just walk right up to that guy and smack the shit out of him.

But that motherfucker knows Kung Fu and that would have been a bad decision. The sweet sound of Ichabod's bucket of destiny brings us yet another name. An uninterrupted 60 seconds now goes to Chris Wilmoth. Is that movement? Is that Chris?

Make way, people. There's a show going on. People right next to the door, fuck yeah. Here he comes. The slow, smooth pace of Chris Wilmoth. Here he comes. He's still coming on the stage. Okay.

Chris Wilmoth, everyone. Come on. Yeah. What up? I'm here to talk about the autistics. If you're offended by me calling them the autistics, then you're literally not autistic. So one time I said that, and the guy in the audience was like, my kid's autistic. And I was like, call him an autistic.

See if he's offended. If he is, he's faking. I worked in an autistic classroom for a year and I swear to God, some of those kids were faking. Like not all of them, like some of them definitely weren't, but some of like, all you have to do is not, and you get to go to Chuck E. Cheese once a week. I remember being jealous of the autistic kids when I was in school. I just didn't have the balls to do it. I'm pretty sure there's a forward thinker out there with the same mentality as me. Chris Wilmoth, there he goes.

The old grin and lean. There he goes. The old grin and lean. Hi, Chris. How are you? I'm good. How are you? You've been on this show before, right? Yeah, a couple times. Yeah, I can't quite remember. Give us your little backstory again. What did we find out about you? Last time I was here, I talked about living in a garage with another

dude. Two other dudes. Wow. It was a big hit. Do you still live in a garage with two dude. Two other dudes. Wow. It was a big hit. Do you still live in a garage with two dudes? No, now I live in a hostel situation with a magician and some other people.

Wow. Yeah. With a fucking magician. Yeah, dude. The hottest magician in LA, Matt Price. Look him up. The hottest magician in LA, Matt Price. Look him up. The hottest magician in LA lives in a hostel with you. Yeah, he lives in a hostel with me. It's like he...

I mean, he makes his money on the pier. I guess he's not the hottest magician in LA. I don't... Is that because you guys don't have air conditioning? No, we have air conditioning. It's covered in the hostel price, actually. Hostel? Yeah.

Living with a magician? Any weird shit? Just have like rabbits running around your room or something? No, he just keeps me up. Like, he just like shows me tricks in the middle of the night and like shit like that. Oh, yeah. I'll just be like, yo, dude, check this out.

The old, there wasn't a snake under this sheet a moment ago. Yeah. Mm. But now there is a snake under the sheet, but you can only pet it. You can't see it. Watch the sheet rise. Rise.

You can take the horse. Like a dick. Like a dick. Like a dick. Keep petting the snake and a pigeon will fly out any second. What kind of tricks does he show you in the middle of the night? And why of all times in the middle of the night? That's when he comes up with them. That's when we're all the most creative, isn't it?

I don't. It's usually just like card tricks and shit like that. I don't... Yeah? What's like a cool trick that he sort of... Anything that he does other than cards? He can like shove a cigarette up his nose and then pull it out of his mouth. Wow. Yeah. Or like

anything. You mean like your dick? Yeah, like my dick, anything. You know, he shoves a cigarette up his nose, makes it come to his mouth, or anything. Yeah. That means he did a lot of drugs. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

For sure. He did. The old cigarette up the nose and out of the mouth. Yeah. Damn. That's interesting. Has he taught you anything? You have any cool magic tricks?

Any cool little thing you could do? No. No, nothing at all. What do you do for a living? I work for a catering company. What do you do for the catering company? You just do whatever random gigs. But I've been washing dishes at Google headquarters for the last couple weeks.

God, while you're there, you should search for a better job. Yeah. Washing dishes at Google? Do you still tell people like, yeah, I work for Google? That's his pick-up line. I work in DW

over at Google. DW department. Gotcha. How did you find that job? Ask Jeeves. I like it when it's silent. Hey, you're a caterer, right? It's pronounced caterer.

Damn. I love it. Chris, so you're in catering. You're washing dishes at Google. Man, have you met anybody cool over there? Not at all. Just a bunch of nerds, different ethnicities. They have dogs.

They have dogs in the office. Can you believe that? Sounds cool. What's your love life like? You take any chicks back to hang out with the magician at night? He surprisingly does sometimes. Why is that surprising to you? Because there's a lot of people living in this hostel.

There's an improv actor. There's a fat Mexican chick. Oh, okay. They're cool. She's cool. I like fat Mexican chicks. They're always great.

I think this guy plays bass. Another guy there plays bass. It's a real creative community. Wow. Man. It's a creative community and an improv actor. Oh, yeah.

If you guys are so creative, why don't you draw a picture of a rainbow? All right. If you guys are so creative, why don't you draw a picture of a rainbow? All right. Why would a dirty outdoor cat say that? Chris, so the magician takes a lot of girls back to this hostel? Is it like open beds and shit like that? Do you see what goes on over there? You ever jerk off to the magician getting laid?

That sounds like the saddest existence in the world, right? Just under your own sheets. I think he saw somebody in half right now. It's fucking incredible. You should get him to cut her in half one day so you could fuck half of her too.

That'd be cool. Which half would you pick? The top half, bottom half? Good question. Think about it. Don't be funny either. The bottom half you get. Yeah, the bottom half.

Yeah, bottom half you get two holes. Yeah, what if the bottom half was dirty though? Ooh, good question. Brian hangs out with a lot of girls that don't wipe properly. Back to front. Too much. I guess the top half is safer. Yeah.

All right. I love that we got a real answer. She said don't be funny. I'm glad. I like it. If your magician buddy cut his girlfriend in half. All right, Chris. Well, it was good to meet you, buddy.

Hell yeah. Rock and roll. Chris Wilmoth, everyone. He's on Twitter at TheRealBarack. B-R-O-C. Whoops-a-bell is Whoopsie Daisy. Jerdy is Jerdy Comedy. Ooh, that's like the Seinfeld theme or something.

How does that work? Do you know how to do that? Is that a thing? You probably know. It's usually played on a keyboard bass. Oh. It's usually played on a keyboard bass. Tall is Australian. Oh, yeah. What's up with living in a hostel? She's a prodigy. What's up with living in a hostel?

She's a prodigy. I'm so lucky to be friends with her. She's the coolest. I pulled another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for A.J. Fodgy. I believe that's what this says. Or A, is it, hold on one second. Hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Is it A, if you have a name, oh yeah, it is A.J. Faji. F-A-J-I? No? All right. A.J. Faji. Sounds like he's about to blow himself up in another room. Boom. Oh my God. I am excited about this, ladies and gentlemen.

I find it that it would be... I mean, how many of you happen to already listen to last week's episode with Tom Segura? You were here for it. Oh, wow, a lot of you. That's so fucking awesome. I think you're going to be really excited. I know this entire cast is going to be

because we had the debut of a young lady on this show last week that was really interesting. And I'm really excited to see if she gets redemption here tonight. Kept the show going last week. It was incredible. Her name has two exclamation points and it's only one word. Put your hands together for Bunny. All this.

There she is. All this. There she is. All right. This right here is an anthem for all my gap tooth brothers and sisters. The with your gap don't matter. Your smile's beautiful and it lights up your whole face. Let's go. What you want to say about my gap tooth? Speak louder when you talk about my gap tooth.

Because I'm here to listen. I won't say a peep. I just might whistle through the space in my teeth haters suggesting veneers and braces they're just a bunch of gap tooth racists say what you want and do what you do now I know I got space but your breath smells like poo oh in summer in the pool I got water in my mouth that won't stay there long because I'm spitting it out through my teeth comes out in a steady flow looking like a classy water fountain in Rome. Saving money on flossing toothpicks.

Oh, fuck. Saving money on flossing toothpicks cause poo falls out with a good strong tongue lick. Say what you want and do what you do. Now I know I got space but your breath smells like poo poo.

Alright, that's it. That's a minute. Roar! Alright, Bunny, relax. Breathe. You know I've been waiting for that all week, though. What's the chances? How are you, Bunny? How do you feel right now?

I feel like that was really fucking good. Besides the point that was really fucking good. Besides the point that I forgot my lyrics. This is what you said last week. It was a goddamn anomaly. For those of you that didn't listen to last week's episode, Bunny came on, did a rap.

It was silent pretty much throughout the entire rap, the audience was. And then she said she did good. And we told her she did not. And then she said she did good. And we told her she did not. And she said that she took a chance doing a rap, but she also does stand-up comedy. And we told her it

probably would have been a better idea to do stand-up comedy for the minute. To try to do stand-up comedy instead of doing a beatless rap. We warned her. One week later, she just came back and to our very surprise,

she committed to yet another horrible rap. I'm going to keep doing it. It's going to be my thing now, I decided. How long have you been in L.A. again? You and me been together for three weeks. Don't speak. Bunny, don't speak.

Bunny, don't do your Bunny. Don't speak. Bunny, you can't. Bunny, don't do your own thing. You have to listen to the questions and answer them. No, three weeks. I was going to do it to the song. Three weeks. Three weeks. No, don't do anything to a song, Bunny.

It's not working for you at all. Okay. All right. You're right. Three weeks. You're the star, not me. Bunny, all right. Let's jump right into this.

You're three weeks in. I'm about to save your life. You ready for it? Don't ever fucking rap on a stage again. It's horrible. Seriously. It's unbearable. Bad. It's not good. It'll never be good. Whoever, whichever your friends told you that that was a thing that you could just do on a stage, they all lied to

you. Those friends are liars and you should cut them out of your life. I'm being serious. This isn't even a joke. They're cracking up, but that's because they're a bunch of assholes. Those guys, they're the comedians. They just laugh when I'm honest. And I'm being very honest right

now. And I'm killing at the same time. But it's sort of both. I mean, it's not really a joke. It's the truth. But in this case, it's very funny. It's going in one ear out the other. Too much music. Bunny can't do two things at once, people. truth, but in this case, it's very funny. It's going in Bunny. Bunny can't do two things at once, people. I need Bunny to pay attention to what I'm saying. Bunny, what makes you

think that people are gonna just commit to raps, like laugh at reactants? I mean, I don't think I'm like an Eminem rapper, but like, have you ever heard of Aaron Carter? Yeah, I wouldn't eat you. I grew up listening to Aaron Carter,

and I just want Aaron's party to come get it. Bunny, I need you to put your listening ears on. What did you just say? Do you know who Aaron Carter is? They look like my cat. Yeah, I know who Aaron Carter is. Do you see this? Bunny, I need you to fucking focus on me

or else you're going to bomb on both your performance and the guest part. I need you to really pull focus right now. You ready? What else do you do here? What's your plan? You're here for three weeks and you're rapping on a stage every Monday.

What do you do for work? Actually, I just got a job. I'm going to be a behavioral technician for kids with autism. I was going to say she had ADD. So, you know. What are you going to do for kids with autism? I'm going to perform for them. I'm going to show them.

No, we can't let this happen. I'm going to teach them how to rap. No, I need to write a letter of recommendation to this school to make sure that that does not happen. I cannot know that kids are out there becoming more autistic because of your performances. Even kids with autism would be like, no thank you. It's true. Oh my god

Is the band mad that she's appropriating cat culture right now with that t-shirt? I know, it was like meant to be No, it's not a good thing Oh I think everything's a good thing So you rap, but you come out with the name Bunny Rappers have like tough names Hi, Bunny? Come on. Red Eyes.

Red Eyes. Red beady eyes doesn't fuck you up, man. That's a rabbit. You do drugs or anything? You do any drugs? Yes, I said it in my last rap. I like weed and mushrooms. Oh, weed and mushrooms.

You said that in the rap last week or this one? They're both unlistenable, so I have no idea. So wheat and mushrooms. How often do you do mushrooms? I like to spread it out probably once every three months. I do it, or I microdose and just hang out. And people are like, oh my God, you're so fun. I'm like, I'm microdosing.

No uppers though, huh? Oh my god, I try to do coke and it does nothing for me. You tried to do it. Because you're already there. You're already coked up. Good observation, for sure. What I'm fishing for. There you go.

Let's say fish around the cast. Can I take this to my cat? Can I take one strand to my cat? She picks up a ball of fucking yarn. Bunny, I'm going to move on from you this time. I felt like you would. But you know what? No, it's okay, Bunny. You don't have to talk anymore.

Thank you so much. There she goes. It's Bunny, everyone. Thank you. She's on Instagram at Bunny Made a Funny. Bunny Made a Funny on Instagram. Kitty feels pity. It's a ruthless world. I mean, if the guest doesn't listen, then the whole thing goes off its tracks.

Then I just have some yapping person up here that's super annoying. The yarn! Oh, wow. We met this young lady. She made her Kill Tony debut a few weeks ago. She listens properly during the guest portion. She performs. We're very excited to bring her back up here again.

She killed last time she was on. Put your hands together for the second-ever Kill Tony performance of Lila Hart, everyone. Come on, everybody. Make some fucking noise. All done. Small things. True cares Hi, guys.

So I'm originally from Seattle, home of Starbucks. You know, coffee stunts your growth. My dad's a correctional officer, and growing up, he always used to say, Lila, don't get a DUI. And I didn't. I never got a DUI, but what I did get was a DUI. And I didn't. I never got a DUI.

But what I did get was a DU fly. And that's when you get arrested at the Oakland airport. And they're like, ma'am, you've had a little bit too much to drink. And I'm like, what? I'm not even flying this plane. But apparently, you shouldn't talk back to police officers because they did handcuff and arrest me. And I just feel so bad for all those innocent people at the airport. They must have been thinking, like, what did this child do?

She's a threat to America. Damn right. Was that? Oh, okay. Anyways, you would think that's when I would realize that I might have a drinking problem, you know? But that's not what I was thinking when I was laying there in jail. I thought to myself, oh my god. Go ahead.

I'm gonna fucking make it. Lila Hart. Fuck yeah. Can I start by saying one thing? Yeah. Will you marry him? No. Even better than that. Yeah, go ahead.

If Lila and I had a kid, it'd be a normal-sized kid. And adorable. It'd be Jer. It'd be Jer. Jer's like, yeah yeah I'm dating a rich a rich girl my parents are little people I don't

daddy and mommy are small they are Lila that was a fucking awesome performance that was really great you did it again you're Thank you. Really great. You did it again. For the people listening to the podcast, how tall are you, Lila? 4'6". 4'6". Well, I think I'm 4'4", but I just round up a little bit.

You round up a little bit. Yeah. So you're probably 4'4". Yeah, I am. Yeah. If we're being honest. Round up to 4'8". probably 4.4. Yeah, I am.

If we're being honest. Round up to 4.8. Lila, remind me. What do you do again? I do digital advertisement on Facebook. You're a professional megapixel? I thought that was better. That joke deserved a little more credit. I thought that was better. All right. That joke deserved a little more credit.

I thought so. The digital. What do you do for the digital people? What does that mean exactly? I do like Facebook ads for some YouTube people. Okay. Just the smaller windows that pop up there, right? Oh, what the fuck?

I was going to say you could probably fit into a YouTube feature. Literally into the tube. Wow. Wow, they're giving you the chant even though they hated it. They want you to kill so hard right now. Lila. Wow, so how's life? What's going on?

You were on the show a few weeks ago. Since the last time we saw you, anything in your real life happen? I just got back from the Philippines. Oh, wow. I hate the Philippines. How the fuck have you ever been to the Philippines? They eat us over there. Oh, that's funny.

What were you doing over in the Philippines? Farming for Victoria's Secret. I don't know. I guess nobody cared about that. She's wearing overalls and a bra. Is no one going to mention that? Alright. Moving on. You just went on a little vacation?

No, I actually went there for work. Oh yeah? What were you doing over there? My YouTubers had a meet and greet for this charity they run, Dancecember. Wow. Yes, we just met a bunch of fans. Yeah. We took pictures, and they were really nice. And then I got to see my grandma, who I haven't seen in like 14 years.

She lives in the Philippines? Yeah, my whole, on my mom's side, the whole family lives there. So it was really awesome, and it was a beautiful experience, to be honest. Wow, that's awesome. Anything stand out to you during your trip? Any weird moments or anything wild? There was, like, a bunch of stray cats everywhere. What?

Like, a ton of them. And I would just go play with them. My brothers and sisters. And then a cat stashed me. My brothers and sisters. Hey, did the manila envelope get invented in Philippines? Oh, because of manila. Manila, yeah. I don't think so. So there was a bunch of stray cats at one point in your trip to the Philippines.

Yeah, there's a bunch of stray animals everywhere. That's fine because you get to play with them, but it's really sad. Sounds just as beautiful as you said it was. The of stray animals everywhere. It's fine because you get to play with them, but it's really sad. It sounds just as beautiful as you said it was. The old stray animals places. Lila, what else is going on in life? Do you have any special things that you like to do for fun or anything like that when you're not doing stand-up comedy? I go hiking every day.

Hiking? Mm-hmm. Yeah? Where do you go hiking? Ant Hills? I go hiking every day. Hiking? Mm-hmm.

Yeah? What do you go hiking up? Ant hills? Yeah, it takes 12 hours. It's not funny. It's fucking... I go to Runyon, but, you know, like, it's so steep that it does feel like rock climbing for me. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. You just made that joke. I'm sorry. People ever say weird things to you out there? Ignorant things or anything? Oh yeah, all the time. Like what? Like that she hikes anthills.

That doesn't count. We're in a comedy room. Isn't that how that works? Do people ever interview you awkwardly? What? I'm catty, Tony. Wow.

Alright. Bunch of litter happening over there. Lila, so how about that? What's an example of that? A lot of it's kind of like sexual, like, oh, could you, like, can you even have sex, stuff like that. You know, or like, what would it be like to be with you? And you do drink, right? No, I don't.

I used to. I don't anymore. Oh, how long have you been sober for? 128 days. Wow, 128 days. That's fucking cool. Not only is AA where you go, it's also your bra size. What the fuck, people?

It's because she's tiny, not because of the tits. That got an awe, too. It's a sense of they love you, Lila. I can't even roast you. They turn on me. I love you guys, too. It's just oohs and aahs when I make fun of you. Frank, you got anything?

Roast battle champion reigning, defending Frank Castillo, working the door here tonight. He just can't let go of his job at the comedy store for some reason. Doesn't want to really take it to the next level. He loves taking pictures of himself working at the comedy store all the time. Absolutely the weirdest shit in the world. About to start another shift. Follow him on Instagram at Frank Castillo. Tell him to fucking quit his

job and start doing more stand-up. He's one of my favorite people. Alright. Well, Lila, how is your love life going? Anything fancy happen? I, um, I'm, I'm. Ooh, shit. I'm like, I don't know what's going on.

I'm confused. I mean, I don't know. Wow. She's fucking a couple dudes and she just doesn't want people to know. Wow. Man. I almost feel like there might be a dude in this room or something like that by the way. Am I right? Oh, wow.

Yeah, I can tell because you're like really shy about answering it. It's almost different. Just point in his direction. Yeah, which one is it? Is it Jurdy? Once I secretly dated a calico and it was a nightmare wow alright Lila

well you're banging a comedian obviously no it's not you're not? no it's not a comic oh it's not oh my god I mean I'm not banging anyone oh my goodness why am I so nervous Oh, it's not. Oh, my God. I mean, I'm not banging anyone. Ooh, wow.

Oh, my goodness. Why am I so nervous? Okay. My goodness. Looks like you know how to keep a secret, Lila. This is good for all the guys taking note in this room. Did you meet any men in the Philippines that you hit it off with? No.

I was there for work. Strictly business. Do boys ever ask you if you can fit the whole bird in your mouth? Just me? Okay. All right, Lila. What scares you? What are you afraid of? I'm really not

I'm not really afraid of much, I don't know Ghosts? Anything? I think it'd be cool to see a ghost What? I think it'd be cool to see a ghost Sure, yeah, the rest of the world agrees with you It's never happened before It'd also be cool to see a unicorn

Yeah What scares you? What are you afraid of? It's happened before. It'd also be cool to see a unicorn. Yeah. What scares you? What are you afraid of? They sell unicorns? What do you mean? Oh, there is? Starbucks unicorn.

I wish I had a cool answer for you, but I can't really think. I'm not really afraid of much right now. You're fearless? I'm fearless. Yeah. I'm not afraid of anything right now. Huh.

I'm scared of so much, I can't even wrap my head around that. What are you afraid of? I'm scared of dying, first off. No. Are you scared about not being able to get on specific roller coasters that you like? Wow. I'm like, I can get on roller coasters. I'm just right there for the most part.

That's cool. Yeah. Alright, Lila. Well, there you go. There she is, Lila Hart. Wow, a standing ovation. Look at that from a young Howard Stern. How awesome.

All right. All right. Let's get the old Queen Bee up here. Once a week, there's a regular on this show that writes and performs a brand new minute every single week. She started with us even before she was 21. She had to go away for a while. She's been on the show for a couple years. She writes and performs a brand new minute every single week.

We love her. It's the baby Frankenstein of Kill Tony, the monster herself, the great Allie Makovsky, everyone. There she comes. Put your hands together for Allie, everybody. Come on. Hi. I'm still getting used to this

haircut. People treat me a little bit differently, you know. People always vaguely compare me to people that I look like, but it's not even based on my face. It's just based on the haircut. And the worst part is it's usually even based on my face. It's just based on the haircut. And the worst part is it's usually not people who are hot. Like no one compared me to anyone when I had long black hair.

No one was like, you look like the girl from The Ring. Like, yeah, I know. That's because I look like Jennifer Lawrence. I obviously don't know what I look like, but I'm trying. People, people always say this to me as well. They say, um, Allie, you were so beautiful before you cut off your hair. Well then where were you? If you told me that before I wouldn't have had to do this. There you go. Another new minute from Allie Makovsky. Beautiful.

Easy breezy. What do people tell you that you look like? David Bowie from the movie Labyrinth? I've gotten that one. Every photo. Have you really gotten that one? I mean, just now, yeah. Oh, there you go. I just got, literally before this,

someone from Rocky IV. Ah, yes, indeed. The hair has completely, yes, it has evolved into that. Yeah, and it's always people who've later on in life lost it all. You know, like people who've gone to rehab, who've died of overdoses. That's not true. David Bowie's doing just fine right now.

Anyway. You're not Lila Ally what are the fuck was I just Ally great great that last joke I think is great

thank you it feels like a classic like it feels like thank you it feels really good thanks so much Ally you look like every photo in every salon

ever yo Ellie you look like every photo in every salon ever I'm like I've gone through all the haircuts that they have there's like pictures it's like do you want number one do you want number five I'm all of them I've been all of them the girl from Rocky 4 was like the original Melania she like really

she was a fun character I thought you were talking about the Russian guy from Rocky it is it's his was like the original Melania. She was a fun character. Says who? I thought you were talking about the Russian guy from Rocky. It is. It's his wife and manager. She's like the boss. I thought you were talking about the guy. You thought it was Dolph Lundgren?

Yeah, I thought you were talking about Dolph Lundgren. The person who brought it up to me was like the guy. I would have killed you. No, he didn't have. He had a buzz cut. Jesus, this one guy is furious. A huge Rocky IV fan in the corner of the room Hey Allie, you look like Chris, our bass player

Oh yeah That's fun See, it doesn't stop No, it really doesn't The jokes ride themselves Well, not really, we have to do that part Well, I did that part, but yeah But it's cool

I mean, you know Someone has to but yeah. But it's cool. I mean, you know, someone has to step into Ric Flair's footsteps at some point. I'm ready. So what's the idea? They just write themselves. What's the thought process? Are you going to grow it out?

Are you enjoying this? Do you gonna grow it out are you enjoying this do you think about it on a day to day basis are you about to start your own wiki leaks company or something like that have you thought about leaking information no

that's not what Ric Flair was known for no I don't know what I'm gonna do with the hair I'm just gonna I'll probably shave it again That's not what Ric Flair was known for. No, I don't know what I'm going to do with the hair. I'm just going to... I'll probably shave it again. Maybe it'll grow out. Who knows? Are you talking about your head? Yeah.

Okay. Just checking. That'd be fun if I waxed my head. That'd be dope. If I went to the lady who does the bush down under. If I was like, can you also get this it's about time it is very rock and roll

yeah I'm pretty do guys like it? it's an interesting type you know it's a niche market yeah gay guys right? is that what you're talking about? guys that are still in the closet but see the thing is even when I had long hair,

I always thought that the guys who liked me were gay. Right. So now, especially with this, I'm like, well, fuck. I'm basically making myself a target for closeted gay men. You look like... Right now, where your hair is,

you seem like the type of lesbian that wears a strap-on dildo all the time. Not even in the bedroom, like underneath. Is it showing? Yeah. She looks like Ponyboy from The Outsiders, post-die job. Wow, look at that. Man, obviously Ryan J. Ebeld isn't the only one that reads here.

I guess that's from the movie, actually. She looks like the character from that book. I'm such an idiot. I could look like that. Oh, my God. The screenplay was in my litter box. Anything else happen interesting in your past week, Allie? The never-ending question?

Probably, but God, if I could remember it right now. What happened to the dudes that went to San Diego? Oh, yeah. Oh, the Londoners. Yeah, the Londoners that broke you last week. For those of you that didn't listen last week, Ali was broken. I was pretty broken.

Apologizing during her set. They walked her to bed too. You guys probably aren't going to like this next joke. And then they didn't. Has anyone ever told you you look like Falcor from Never Endending Story? Atreyu! Atreyu!

It's me, Jardee! Sick boy she is. Oh my god. You guys do impressions. Jolbert, you don't have any impressions? Nah, dude. How about you?

Jason? Nope. Nothing? Not an impression. Really? Nope. You guys can't even... Alright. I don't have, like, a weird thing that you surprise yourself? Lately, I've realized, uh, I downloaded a few System of a Down songs

to my playlist, and I realized that I have the ability to turn into that front man from... No, I'm not doing it. No, Brian, don't do it. I'm not doing it. No, I'm doing it at the goddamn... Nope. No, I'm doing it at the goddamn Comedy Jam. It's very exclusive.

You got it live right now. Can't do it. It's for another show. I fucking hate you guys. No, stop it. Brian, stop. Brian, you have to stop it. I can't really do it. I can only do it

if I'm by myself right now. You can boo me all you want or I don't give a fuck. I'm preparing for a performance for the goddamn comedy jams and practical jokers cruise November 1 through 5.

Only the people on that cruise are lucky enough to see my performance. I can't blow it now. Jeremiah, it's not happening. You can get down. Bad kitty, get down kitty. I don't think he can. Do we need to call a fireman right now? Alright, let's keep moving along.

That's Ally Makovsky, ladies and gentlemen. You know her, you love her. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram at notallymac. N-O-T-A-L-I-M-A-C. There she goes. One more time for Ally Makovsky. She ghosted us just like the London dudes did to her. Oh yeah. We never fucking found

out about that. Disorder! Disorder! Wow! Is that really yours? Is that yours? Here, I'll make a promise. I'll make a promise right now.

Psycho! Groovy! Psycho, groovy, cooking, crazy. Psycho, groovy, cooking, crazy. Psycho, groovy, cooking, crazy. I'll make you hard. I'll make you hard. I'll make you ready. Okay. I fucking love System of a Down.

Me too. And I'll make a promise with you right now, Jeremiah, is that when we get back from the Impractical Jokers cruise, I'll have an impression off with you, and we'll do that guy from System of a Down. The showdown. The suspense is killing this audience. What? I'm catty.

You already used that one. I pulled another name out of the... Wow, this looks really interesting. A lot of words on this piece of paper right here. That's always a pretty decent sign. Put your hands together for Kevin Alexander, Cowboy Parachute. Kevin Alexander. Is this Kevin?

Here he comes. Kevin Alexander, the one and the only. How's it going, everybody? So I'm not a very big dude. I don't work out. So I don't look very intimidating. But I found if I put a hoodie on and go out at night, shit works great. I know I don't sound black. That's

pretty fucked up because in my head I sound like Denzel Washington. What you hear sounds more like Gary Coleman fucked Kermit the Frog. If I had my choice, I'd have a deep voice like Barry White. Just go around singing, whatever, whatever. Baby, I'm licking your ass tonight. I was born with a rare disease. Some of you might have noticed it. It's called SF.

Stand for stupid face. Fuck yeah, Kevin Alexander. There he is. What's cowboy parachute? What's cowboy parachute? And what's that next word? Cowboy parachute rigger Whoa, whoa, whoa I guess he's allowed to say that word

No, that's our word No, stop, Brian No, rigger is our word You can't say that How long have you been a rigger for? All my life, Tony. All your life? Your parents were riggers too?

You're like a rigger with attitude. That's why I fucking love you. Goddamn. Joel Berg! Joel Berg! Got it. All right, Kevin. Wow. So how's life been going? What's happening? We've met you before. You've been on the show before. Yes, sir. Life's been going great. Yeah. Just working hard. I love coming here, listening to you guys' podcast. You guys kill me.

You've been rigging. Great. You've been rigging. You've been rigging? I've been rigging. What does that entail exactly? What does a rigger do? Is it like... Tread carefully, Tony.

As a black cat, I do not like this. Black cats matter. I pack parachutes for NASA. Wait, that's the opposite of what I told a rigger does. Anyway. Wait, you didn't pack the parachute for Dude that Jumped from Space, did you? No.

I knew it. All right, moving on. Go ahead. Tony, next question. Wow. Has anybody ever told you you look like the rich Jamaican from Cool Runnings?

I never saw that movie, but no, no, no. So you pack parachutes for people. Yes, but no, no. So you pack parachutes for people? Yes, sir. Alright, let's slow things down here for a second. How long have you been doing that? With this company, I've been with this company

for five years. Have you ever had any failed parachutes? No. Wow. People are always safe with you. Yeah, riggers gotta be sure. A rigger is the last one to let you down. Damn.

And I was always told riggers were lazy. I love you too, man. Fucking love you too, man. What do you do for fun, Kevin? Thank God. I like, oh yeah, that's right. I like watching NASCAR. Wait, what?

I can snow ski. I can water ski. Why do you watch? Snowboard. Wait a second. Skydive. Scuba dive. Why do you watch? Snowboard. Wait a second. Skydive. Scuba dive.

You scuba dive? I don't think you're a rigger at all, dude. I think you've been lied to your entire life. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Is he fucking with me? I don't think you're a rigger. In fact, I think you're a right person. You're one of the rightest people I've ever met my entire life. Story of my life.

Scuba diving. How often do you go scuba diving? Actually, I haven't scuba dived in a couple years. I'm starting to get scared of it now. Now, do you scuba dive? He's like, it's the swimming part. Do you... I feel like you scuba diving is how a lot of people skydive.

You're just attached to a white guy, and he's doing the swimming, and you're just snorkeling around. Tony, he's part seal. He's part seal applies not only because of the animal, but also because of the musical artist. Man. What's your love life like, Kevin? I've been married to my beautiful wife for five years. Fuck yeah.

Man, wives are always beautiful. You ever realize that? Yeah, of course. I've been married to my beautiful wife, and then you see yeah. Wives are always beautiful. You ever realize that? Of course. I've been married to my beautiful wife and then you see her and you're like... Ten years. Ten years. It seems like the sex must be good.

You're giving her that big rigger dick. You know what I mean? Isn't that true? I've heard that all riggers have gigantic, gigantic fetuses. Packer good. Am I allowed to be doing this? I don't think so. Am I just kissing every network opportunity

I ever had away on this? This is the moment. Did you ever see the rigger thing he did that one Monday? It's out there on the internet. I want to do the thing where we beep the beginning of every time time you say rigor. Just take out the front letter, though. Just keep the... Can I say that? It's almost... It feels

worse saying just... Not right. There you go. Iger? Were you going to say Iger? Yeah. Yeah, it does feel worse. It does. Rigor is an actual thing. Yeah, it does feel worse. It does. Rigor is an actual thing. The only thing I find comfort in is after we all get killed tonight,

I have eight more lives. Jeremiah motherfucking Watkins. How are you able to keep your love life sustainable after ten years of being with the same woman? Oh, five years. Well, same fucking question. We're just happy-go-lucky people. We're just having fun.

We just laugh. Is your wife white? Yes, sir. Of course she is. You think his black wife is going to watch NASCAR with him? No, that's why I asked him. She doesn't even watch it. Did you meet her in the air?

You were falling and you looked at her? Do you guys still wear a parachute or do you free fall? Damn! That's fucking powerful. Hell yeah. Now you have feline AIDS. Where'd you meet her at? Yuma, Arizona

Wow, what were you doing up in Yuma? What crime were you running away from? Everybody in Yuma It's like all the Wild West shit We were drop testing How long did you live in Yuma for? Oh, she's a rigger also I didn't know, she's a bartender

She's a white rigger No, Joel I believe the word you're looking for is wigger No, she's a bartender. She's a white rigger. She's a... No, Joel. I believe the word you're looking for is wigger. Rigger. A rigger. Rigger. She's a rigger lover.

You know, I've always said that about her, and that's why I'm happy you guys ended up together. Thank you. Thank you. What do her parents think about her dating a rigger? We're good. Her dad's awesome. Oh, they don't know. It sounds like they don't know.

She's like, it's alright dad, he watches NASCAR and scuba dives. He's like one of us. He's a rigger with a job. Damn! He's like one of us. He's a rigger with a job. I'm down. Just imagine how awkward that must be with him. I'm sure her father's probably a little bit older, and they're on the phone like,

Dad, I'm dating a rigger. God damn it, Susan. This is like, I told you. What does he do for work? oh dad he's a rigger god damn it I know he's a rigger does he have a job yes dad he's a rigger yes I saw the picture I know he's a fucking rigger

it's just unbelievably funny to me if I gave up my career tonight well then we're gonna start a patreon i think we should just start a patreon next week anyway i'm pretty sure this show's costing me every job i auditioned for and everything they google me once and they're like oh it's insanity i that's why i rationalize my lack of success there's something funny there's something funny about uh doing white people shit. So do you ever jump out of a plane? Oh, yeah.

How many times have you skydived? I got about 850 jumps. I got a bit called doing white people shit. I once got jumped by a black guy. Yeah, 850 jumps sounds like a gucci main album title it's got jumps on jumps on jumps jump yeah jump man jump man jump man you wear jordans when you you do this you skydive like this? Joel Berg. He's fucking killing it.

Wow. So what else is super white about you? You had to guess. His pants? I don't know. Sorry, they're short. Do you have a big black four by? Whoa. Four by? Four by four. That's short for four by four. See a big black 4x. Whoa.

4x? 4x4. That's short for 4x4. See, I'm like a little boy. I don't even know this shit. Like 4x. Wow. Big black truck.

Big black truck. Wow. Why comedy? Yeah, right? Yeah. Why do you do it? How long have you done it for? What's that?

Comedy? Yeah. Oh, I've only done your show three. This is? How long have you done it for? What's that? Comedy? Yeah. Oh, I've only done your show three. This is the third time I've done it. That's the only three times you've ever been on stage? Wow. Very cool. Thank you.

You're a real natural at things that white people are extremely good at. Why don't you go to mics and stuff all the time? Why don't you do it all the time? Well, I'm in Orange, and I work a lot, and I'm actually trying to find a lot of open mics down there. I need to get up. I'm just dying to get up. I started watching that show. I'm dying up here, and I'm loving the whole thing.

I'm trying. I gotta just do it more. I write all the time. You're in Orange. You should move to Grape. That was good. That was really good. Yeah, you should find mics, man. Get up more. You're funny.

There's something funny about you. Thank you, bro. Sorry for being real. I perform as often as I can. Last week, I actually performed at a place I haven't performed at in a long time. I performed at the Ha Ha Cafe. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because I had a showcase for the deaf comedy jam.

On that show, I performed, I think, with a bunch of riggers. I'm pretty sure. The last time I was at the Ha Ha, they just called it the Cafe. You know what? I'll see you guys later. We make this interview like 30 minutes longer just because we're so uncomfortable. I think in honor of all the

rigger talk, I think this set should run a little late. You know what I mean? Okie dokie. Alright, now it's crossing a line. It's crossing a type of Mason Dixon line or something. This interview has died in rigor mortis and satin.

There he goes, Kevin Alexander. Thanks, everybody. What do you guys think? Should we go to the bucket one more time? One more? Back there, they're not even clapping their hands. They don't even want to.

Oh, thumbs up? Gladiator style? All right. Let's do it one more time. Let's see who the fuck's gonna get lucky. Could be anybody. Alright. Let's see what happens here.

Put your hands together. I think this guy's been up here before. Put your hands together for King Hassan. King Hassan. Here he comes. Fuck yeah. Make some noise for King Hassan. Yeah, I'm like what every old grandparent's

nightmares are made out of. I'm like Harvey Weinstein's fever dream. Let me tell you something. Speaking about assaulting white women. The juice is loose, baby. OJ Simpson's out. Here's the one thing that bothers me about O.J. Simpson. He was actually a pretty good comedic actor,

and he broke every single NFL rushing record there was at the time. But he's going to go down in history for allegedly killing one white woman. Right? That's what he's going to be known for forever. Magic Johnson was an NBA all-star in the 80s with aids i allege he killed way more white women because of the aids people used to all right all right i'm gonna end there king hassan King Hassan. Fuck yeah. You are by far one of the funniest blind comedians

we've ever had on this show before. I was in a car accident. You were in a car accident? I was walking and a car hit me and ran me over and I smacked my head on the ground and I have eight stitches under here. Really?

Yeah. Wow. It was either this or perform with an iPad. It's the best impression of a stitch that I've seen all night, I'll tell you that. King Hassan, you got run over by a car. My guy. Now I realize what you were just telling me.

He's the stand-up gazillionaire. Yes. You just started stand-up how long ago? Two years ago. And you sold a company a few years ago for a lot of money, we figured out for you. A lot, lot, lot, lot, lot, lot, lot, lot, lot, lot, lot, lot, lot. You're, if you don't mind me saying, you're rigor rich. I really hope you were here for the last comedian.

I'm really hoping you didn't just walk in and your name happened to get pulled. I don't care either way. And that was the last time we saw Joel Berg. Wow, so you're rocking the sunglasses. Life is perfect. You're a fucking millionaire. You're living the life. You have a good body, a good look.

Everything's good. You go out and you get hit by a fucking car. How does this happen? And lives. And lives. How the fuck does it happen? Literally, no broken bones, no internal bleeding. What kind of car was it? It was a Jetta. I can take a Jetta. You got hit by a Jetta? It was a Jetta.

Oh my God. Fuck Volkswagen. The Jetta's total. Yeah. Total. Yeah. Never to be seen before. What happened? It was an 80-year-old lady. Oh, my God. Miss Daisy? Yeah. And I was walking.

And you were driving her car. Driving her. I was walking behind her. She drove by. I was walking behind her. And I guess she thought she saw a parking spot. And then realized it wasn't. She thought you were a parking spot?

No. That is not right. Blacktop. Look at that black mask. That you were a parking spot that is not right blacktop look at that black mass that must be a parking spot god damn are you guys stood the fuck out of that old lady yeah get her money man get more money what are what are what are the hundreds of millions that you already have? Fuck this old bitch's life up. No, it was, yeah, she's fine. Everyone's fine. I got up, I walked away.

I had to go to the hospital. Wow. Can we see your eye? Will you show us? No, it's just stitches along the brow line. Oh, yeah. Now you're fine. Looks like a fucking expensive doctor did those stitches.

But I get migraines when I look in the bright lights now. Oh, that's fucked up. See the fuck out of her. I'm pretty sure everybody gets migraines if you look directly into the bright lights. Wow. So where were you walking that she hit you, though? You weren't on a sidewalk. You were in the street.

Maybe you were a little bit to blame. What were you wearing? Black t-shirt, black pants? I was at the Burbank Farmer's Market. At the Burbank Farmer's Market? God, you really are rich. It was just in the parking lot. That's the whitest thing I've

heard since Kevin Alexander said anything. I was at the Burbank Farmer's Market, doing some scuba diving prep. Also a certified scuba diver. Are you really? Oh, scuba battle. Scuba battle. That's what's up.

Right here. Scuba, go. Wow. Much like Kevin Alexander, are there other white people things that you do other than scuba diving? Yeah, be rich. Tell me, have you been listening to this guy? Pay my taxes?

I don't know. Wow. All right. Well, King, you were on this show a couple weeks ago. We found out a bunch of fun stuff about you. Anything happen other than getting hit by a car? What did you say? Go ahead.

What was that? So I did a show at the Belly Room on Saturday. And when I walked out, there was ambulances everywhere. Sounds like it just fucking happened again. Brian Redband on. When I got to my car, there was a guy being strapped down into a gurney and put in an ambulance. And I was like, oh, no, I hope he's all right. And then I realized he was a drunk driver who ran his car into my car, my parked car.

What? Just happened on Saturday. Saturday night, here. When did you get hit by that other car? Saturday before. What are you doing this Saturday? Staying home. Yeah, you probably should.

Get off the fucking streets, man. I've never had to tell somebody worth $100 million to get off the streets before. I'm sorry I crossed you three weeks ago. What kind of car do you drive? A Fisker. What? I can't even pronounce that. What's a Fisker?

A Fisker. Oh my god, I know what that is. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. So that person didn't have insurance I'm taking. No, no, they did. Really? Did they have enough insurance? Like North Hollywood insurance?

Yeah, no, everything's fine. Everything's always fine. Yeah, when you're rich. We get that part. No shit. You're not giving us the juice, man. We want to hear about the people just fucking struggle. It happened Saturday, so today's Monday,

so insurance is taking care of it all day today. Damn right they are. Is it totaled? To get a new one? King is so rich that his insurance lady is the actual progressive lady. It's actually Flo. Yeah, it's Flo.

He has two insurance ladies, Hustle actually Flo. Yeah, it's Flo. He has two insurance ladies, Hustle and Flo. That was fun. What should we do? Golden Pony. Anything else? What else is going on, King? How's your love life?

What's going on there? Love life is good. I got a pajama show. You got a what? I host a pajama party. A pajama party? Wow. You should have these guys. They're the

cat's pajamas. What do you mean you host a pajama party? At Flappers once a month. Flappers? Flappers. Flappers is for the heavier comedians down the street. Belly Flappers. So what goes on at a pajama party

at Flappers? I'm just in a 6'3 onesie telling jokes. Wow. Where do you buy a six foot three onesie telling jokes. Wow. Where do you buy a six foot three onesie? Sold. Do a lot of people show up in their pajamas? Yeah, sold out every, yeah. About 75% of the audience comes in pajamas.

And then 25% are too cool. So whatever, fuck them. That's fucking interesting. I'm surprised at how successful a pajama show is. I've never really thought about making the audience dress up for anything. Just the band? October 29th, we're having a Death Squad Halloween show where all the comics

are going to be dressed up. Cool. Here in the main room. Well, King, I wish you the best of luck. Stop getting hit by shit, man. He already had the best of luck. Stop getting hit by shit, man. Yeah, I'm going to try that. He already had the best of luck, Tony. He's rich.

Yeah. The best of luck. How often do you work out, King? Every morning. Every morning. Do you have a Bowflex? Every morning. How long?

I feel like you own six Bowflexes. You just stare in the mirror just pumping fucking, just pumping that Bowflex. No, he has an equinox. Have you always worked out every morning, or is that something you did after you started getting rich? No. I remember I told you last time I used to be super fat. And my grandma died of diabetes, and then I started lifting weights. God damn.

Do you really have a bow flex? No. No? You have like a little gym? I go to the gym. You go to the gym. Is the movie Black Panther based off of you? Not yet.

That joke, you'll listen to this podcast in three months or four months from now, and you'll be like, that was great. Because he's a cat. King, you're a very, very compelling story. I love it when you come on here. You're different than all the other people. You have hundreds of millions of dollars. Can I borrow $200?

You still chase your dreams, and clearly you're working hard at it. There he goes, King Hassan. He's on Twitter at LikeAidLove. Kevin Alexander. Love Lila Hart. Bunny Made a Funny. Whoopsie Daisy.

The Real Brock. Journey Comedy. Look at this amazing drawing from Ryan J. E. Belt. And it was another amazing drawing I saw today last week with Tom Segura and Ralphie May was a great one. This is another one. Make sure you check it out on the front patio. He's going to be showing it off right after this show. We're all going to get drinks out there and hang out for a bit.

Remember, next week is Ron White. He's going to make it. He's going to be in town this weekend, so he's already going to be here. No chance, even if his plane breaks again next weekend, he'll already be here. How about making some noise for Jason Weeman Aguna and Joel

Joelberg Jimenez. A lot of fun stuff going on with these guys. Joel's on Twitter and social media mostly. Sorry, anything else, Joel? Yeah, watch Nathan For You. I worked in the art department. Nathan For You on Comedy Central. He's in the art department.

Motherfucking Wee Man. One of my favorite humans. Anything you want to plug or anything like that? I got Ryan's t-shirts now. That guy's modeling them right there. Oh, I love that. What are those available at? Just hit me up on Instagram or whatever right now.

Just fucking hit him up on anything. Hit me up on anything. You heard it. You heard the man. Instagram, I am WeMan. I fucking love that. Jeremiah Watkins. The great and powerful. Make some fucking noise for Jeremiah Watkins People are out of goddamn control tonight I know I make you clap a lot

You have to pay your damn dues Follow me on social media At Jeremiah Stand Up And I'll be in New York City November 7th through 15th And La Jolla, California Headlining with The Wave from Comedy Central, November 30th. There you go, the great Patty Reagan.

Dirty, dirty little outdoor cat. Look at his little fucking dirty smeared whiskers. Listen to the music of Bill Evans. I'll tell you who's music to listen to. Tall motherfucking Wilkenfeld, everybody! She's at the St. Rock in Hermosa, November 5th. Coach House, November 8th. Velvet Jones, November 10th in Santa Barbara. November 11th

Mill Valley. November 13th, she's in Sacramento, California. November 15th, Solana Beach. And November 30th, I'm positive, if it's not already sold out, that it's going to sell out. So get your tickets right now for the Troubadour, Hollywood, California. Tall, well-built.

Headlines her own West Coast, California 2017 tour. Chris Dillon on the drums. Yeah, that's Chroma Chris on Twitter and Instagram. C-H-R-O-M-A-C-H-R-I-S. Just like that, right? Okay. Go Dodgers.

Australia, Melbourne, Sydney, Adelaide, Brisbane, and La Jolla. My own weekend there. First weekend of November. And I'm in at the end of November all of Australia. Brian Redband. I'm taking Death Squad on the road. We're having a little mini tour. Indianapolis, November 8th.

Columbus, Ohio, November 9th. And just went on sale. Pittsburgh, November 10th. I fucking love it. Lots of shows going out to all you listeners around the world. We absolutely love you, appreciate you. Rate, review, subscribe, tell your fucking friends, have viewing parties, tweet about it.

Have fun. Put your hands together for Josh Martin, comic producer over here, amazing comedian, Ryan J.E. Belt. Thank you, live audience. We'll see you soon. Have a good night. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Call, call, call. Come on, bring the guitar. Bring the bass. Bring it. Bring your bass. bring the guitar. Bring the bass. Bring it. Bring your bass. Bring the bass. Bring the guitar.

Josh, you make sure everybody's boxed in on the inside of you. Yep, you're good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.