KILL TONY - KILL TONY #32

Episode Date: January 22, 2014

Jeffrey Ross, Bobby Lee, Iron Patriot, Tony Hinchcliffe, Kimberly Congdon, Sara Weinshenk, Brian Redban – Date: 01/06/2013 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is RedBan and you're listening to Kill Tony here at DeathSquad.TV. Please check out our official DeathSquad merchandise store, ShopSquad.TV. That has the limited edition KittyKat t-shirt and stickers. They are going fast. And I think this might be about your last call. If you haven't bought anything yet, if you haven't bought this run of limited edition KittyKat, this is your last chance. So, please go to Shop squad.tv also go to death squad.tv for all our live shows we had a lot of fun in texas and

and it was a great response to the podcast but we announced last night at kill tony that we are coming to san diego march 1st at the Jolla Comedy Store. We're bringing the Iron Patriot. We're bringing Kim and Sarah, and we're Tony and surprise guests. It's going to be a full-on Kill Tony live show, and then we're also going to do some comedy. So check it out soon. Tickets should be available anytime now. Just go to DeathSquad.TV for all the information,

and look for those tickets to go on sale any day now. Anyways, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Band coming to you from the comedy store for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, everybody. How you guys doing? Welcome.

How you doing? Great. Good to be here. Good to see you guys. Packed something. Packed back of the room. It's good to be here. Fun weekend? Yeah, we're going to have a fun room. It's good to be here. Fun weekend?

Yeah, we're going to have a fun week. We're about to go to Texas. We have a bunch of shows in Texas this week. We are in Houston and Dallas and Austin. Fuck yeah. Isn't that exciting, guys? On the road. Getting paid. How fun.

It's weird because me and Tony, you know, we're just starting this getting on the road thing more and more, you know, lately. And we're new, so we don't know, like, all the, like, the little secrets. And so we almost have, like, Joey Diaz being our godfather. Like, oh, you need to do this and that. And it's really weird learning that part of the business once you start, like, trying to figure out, all right, now I want to go to Texas.

How do I go to Texas? Luckily, we've had our friends over at Bogart LA help us out. It's interesting. It's a lot of work. Yeah, it's crazy. I wish we were able to take Keltoni there. That's the only part

that disappoints me, is that we won't have an official Keltoni in Texas yet. Well, we need to figure out a way to bring Iron Patriot. Iron Patriot's here, everybody. Our head of security. Wow. That's a new one. That's a remix, huh? I will lead these new Avengers into battle

against anyone with threatened or wary life. I am the Iron Patriot. You always say that one, but before you used to have other catchphrases. For every life you save, there's a million new ways to die. Yeah, I remember that one too. How about another one? Just between me and you,

here's my little secret. The bad guy always wins. Me killing you is just perfect symbolism for the times. That one's a little bit too long. How about another one? That's enough. You only get one day. Tomorrow belongs to me.

Do you have any holiday-related ones you did for the holidays? What can I say? I had to save the best for last. Tonight I will kill the amazing Spider-Man. See, that leads me to my next topic. I worked with my friend Juan

Diego, the Spanish Spider-Man. I was out taking a lot of pictures during the holidays, Tony. I was out there working. And I want to give a shout-out to a Kill Tony fan named Andrew Johans that came down from Chicago to find me. He was here for the Rose Bowl, but he made a special trip down the boulevard too. He got a picture with me.

He tipped me. I insisted that he didn't but he didn't care he wanted to give some love and i also had another picture that's gonna make you jealous tony oh my god about this tony thing by the way it started off really funny because you accidentally did it but now that you do it every week it really just like nails yeah you really set it up we can tell before you're about to do it now it's creepy what do you have a picture of that could possibly make me jealous?

Saturday night, I'm on my way home about 6.30. I run into RJ Mitty, Walter Jr. on Breaking Bad. I saw that. I actually saw that picture. Yes. He tweeted out under the hashtag Kill Tony. That's very exciting. It was very exciting.

Now, it looked kind of like better than it really was. Because I saw RJ. I said, we got to get a picture together. He said, I don't have a camera. But I kept talking to him about Kill Tony like a good death squad soldier. And some woman that was with him, he was with like three ladies. Some woman was with him. She got out her phone, took the picture, and put it on his Twitter thing.

And I said, put the hashtag Kill Tony. So it was a beautiful moment for the show. Wow. Yeah, it was. It was very responsive. A lot of people got excited. So that's fun. Yeah, yeah.

It was a good find. So you basically, in your suit, you stopped RJ Mitty. Yes, I did. And what did you say exactly? He's walking by you with three girls. I said, we've got to get a picture together. I said, I'm on this podcast, Kill Tony. Tony Hinchcliffe, this famous comedian.

He loves you to death. He talks about you all the time. What a liar you are. I said, we got to get a picture. I said this. I wasn't going to let him get away. I was not going to let him get away. Until we got a picture, until we got it on Twitter, and did what needed to be done.

So when you say that you were not going to let him get away, what were you about to do had he just kept walking? By the way, for those of you that don't know, RJ Mitty has cerebral palsy. Well, he has a mild form. And as he's walking by, this fucking robot insists on taking a picture with him. So you really got to picture what's going on here. He doesn't have as severe a form as when he plays on the show.

He has a mild form of it. Yeah, I know. He had a tough childbirth with no heartbeat and a tough cesarean birth. But he came to L.A. in 2006. It was really his sister that was getting into acting, and they didn't know. He was an extra on Hannah Montana just like me. And then he started getting into more stuff. He got a talent coach

to start coaching him and then that's when he got into Breaking Bad. He wasn't even expecting to go down that road. Heck yeah. Stopping him on the street was a real palsy move, man. I'm telling you. He really went for it and we appreciate that. But he seemed normal,

Tony. He didn't seem... He talked. He seemed like a cool guy. He walked fine. You know? There you go. He talked okay. You know, I don't know if that was his mom. I don't know who that was.

I mean, he has his mom goes with him on a lot of things. How do you know that? On Vegas, he had his birthday party. He even had his mom there for that. Well, I bet it's his birthday party in Vegas. Yeah. That's different. So why would his... All right, fuck it. Yeah. The Iron Patriot, everybody. his birthday party. He even had his mom there for that. Well, I bet it's his birthday party in Vegas. That's different. So why would his... Alright, fuck it. The Iron Patriot, everybody. He's here.

He's always here. Why? What are these new noises? I'm trying to work on my sounds and my effects. How do you like this one? It's not bad. No, what is that? Yeah, they got it.

They got it. Good. What? Close Encounters. Close Encounters and Third Kind. Have you ever had a Close Encounter with a Third Kind, Tony? Stop with the Tony shit, man. Yeah, just so you got to settle down with the Tony thing.

You really need to WD-40 that sued Patriot. It's making a lot of noise tonight. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. I'm an enigma. I work in mysterious ways. Heck yeah, you do.

There was a song that we were going to have today. I don't know if you talked to the Iron Patriot. All right. I didn't get a chance to. I didn't get a chance to tell you that we don't have time to do your song. That's okay. You want to just do 60 seconds of it? Would that be a good deal?

Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, do it. Do it. Because you guys are going to Dallas that be a good deal? Yeah, do it. Because you guys are going to Dallas. It's good timing. Okie dokie. Well, if you don't know, Patriot was in a band in the 90s, a rock and roll band.

How long were you guys together? Well, this is the second band I was in called Shame, before Dirty Crammer. Shame? Yeah, it's called Shame. I'm moving fast. I did one song from my first band. Now my second band, I'm going to do one song and then keep moving.

But yeah, this was called Come Alive. If you go to my Twitter page, go to the YouTube link, you'll see all these videos for these bands and you'll see the pictures of what we looked like back then, the terrible haircuts we had and all this shit. Great. And you're trying to bring back these bands from the 90s that didn't work in the 90s. You think that the music

could work now. It could be in a movie soundtrack whatever a commercial you know you don't know and you wrote this yeah yeah i did i did they meant hygiene commercial a couple weeks ago you sent in a song that you were singing that wasn't even you you singing you were singing over somebody else i was singing in the chorus with him and when i brought that song it doesn't really matter let's do the new song let's hear what you got. Here we go. They're always unbearable. They're really terrible. I was trying to say is I wrote that song.

I'm the one who wrote one and one has got it. Nobody gets it. Don't waste my time. Got things to do. Want to do them all with you. So come alive. Don't waste my time. Make that connection between you and I

I say those summer days, they come once a year Oh yeah, lots of those things Oh baby now, who's here to hear? You got a chance in the second year All the girls, they always forget me They read the labels that it's back to guarantee So come alive, don't waste my time All right. Okie dokie.

That's pretty good. Pretty good. That's probably one of the better ones that I've heard. Yeah. Thank you, Tony. But you made the microphone limp during it. Yeah. I'm sure there's a large, large group of music fans out there

that have always wanted all of the vibe of Hootie and the Blowfish with the energy of a robot. So I'm sure something will get big for you guys soon. Yeah, I'm bringing them back. I don't want those songs to just lay wasted. They need to be heard by people. Right. Now, if the band got successful,

do you think you'd still wear the suit, or would you go back to being Jeff Crabtree? I'd probably try to do what they let me get away with. I mean, if they let me sing it without the suit, too, I'll do that, too. But right now, they like me in the suit, so I've got to keep doing it. What if we just got rid of the bottom half of your suit and you wore, I don't know, right now they like me in the suit, so I've got to keep doing it. What if we just got rid of, like, the bottom half of your suit

and you wore, like, I don't know, jean shorts, like really short jean shorts? You know? Like where you could see the pockets come down the leg. I think that'd be great. We should test that out one week. Yeah. Can we test that out? It'll be easier on you also because you can, like, drive here.

No, I want it to look cool. It's got to be the full thing. The sculptor that made it, it's such a work of art. It's from head to toe. It's got to be all together. Can we just have a fun episode? How would we fly that, by the way? I got one of those golf travel bags I'm going to put it in.

I already figured it out. I'll get two of those and another bag. We would check it. You would trust that it would come out of the other end. Wow. Did I tell you I got my passport a couple weeks ago? Got it in the mail. Perfect. I'm ready with my passport. I know there's

some fans in Canada that want us to come. I'm ready to go. It's coming. It's coming really soon. But let's stick with tonight for now, shall we? You guys ready to get this thing bumping? It's episode 32 of Kill Tony. I always have two great friends, two awesome guests come on. This week is

an extremely special one because not only are these guys really close buddies of mine, but they're also two of the funniest friends that I have. Bring it together for them. It's Bobby Lee, everybody and the Roastmaster, Jeff Ross. Hell yes. Yeah.

Boom. I have a question What the fuck is this Asian shit? That was just for you We've never had this set like this I know you don't But that's fucking rude bro I know right No it's always like that But that's Chinese

Okay good Let's move on Alright How you doing Jeff? I'm great buddy Congratulations Sold out crowd for Kill Tony today Look at this How you doing, Jeff? I'm great, buddy. Congratulations. Sold out crowd for Kill Tony today. Look at this. How's it going in the balcony?

It's you guys. All right. What's up in the mezzanine? Heck yeah. Some people took their bites of their food after you asked the mezzanine. They're confident. Fuck yeah. It's good to have you guys. You ever work with anything like the Iron Patriot before, Jeff? My washing machine broke down once.

Made some of the same noises. Jeff, I want to talk to you. I'm glad to see you here. Thank you. I'm sure you get sick of people trying to roast you all the time. Never, IP. Never. Lay it on me.

So I'm not going to talk about your double chin. I'm not going to talk about your hair. What the fuck? Your hair that looks like a bird's nest. I'm not going to talk about your fat, flabby body that reminds me of Ron Jeremy. Oh, my God. Wow. Aaron Patriot, I'm here as a guest.

Fucking idiot. This is no way to treat me. This is what. Iron Patriot, I'm here as a guest. Fucking idiot. This is no way to treat me. This is what I want to talk about. Why are you swaying like you have to urinate? I'm getting into it. This is what I want to talk to you about. Stand still. Do it with confidence. You sound like George Bush right before he said

no more tax, no new taxes. I want to talk to you about your love and appreciation for the late, great Buddy Hackett. Thank you. And I noticed on the Christmas episode, you gave Tony a Buddy Hackett hoodie. That was very nice. Hackett jacket. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's cool. And you were heavily influenced by him because when you were young, you heard him on The Tonight Show. Now, I was also heavily influenced by Buddy Hackett. Oh, yeah? Is that right? Because as a child, I used to listen to the soundtrack of The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm.

Now, have you seen that movie before? Is this a separate podcast? Yeah, this is called Talk to the Patriot. All right. So what was your question for Jeff by the way before this episode he's a big Buddy Hacker fan have you seen that movie he plays Hans in that movie

I have not seen it IP no you need to check it out because it influenced my childhood good thank you very much and also I wanted to say to you Jeff you always have an expression on your face like you've seen it all and nothing surprises you is it true have you seen it all does anything surprise you nothing I've seen it all and nothing surprises you. Is it true? Have you seen it all? Does anything surprise you?

Nothing. I've seen it all. Every time I think I've seen it all, I haven't seen it all. Take off your uniform. Show us it all. Come on. Bobby, I want to talk to you.

Why do you have the microphone down by your dick anyway? It's coming out through my chest. The sound's coming out through my chest. The sound's coming out through my chest. Bobby, I want to talk to you. Yeah, please go. Bobby, you were on Kill Tony number nine. What are you dressed as, a moped? You were on Kill Tony number nine, Bobby.

And we also got a great picture with me, you, and Doug Benson. I don't know if you remember. Yeah, I remember. Now, what I want to say is Doug's got this new show, Getting Doug with High, where he smokes pot with celebrities. Now, Jeff was recently

on this show. I mean, Jeff, yeah, Jeff Ross was recently on the show. It was a real good episode. Could you put aside your 10 years of sobriety and go on that show?

Because I think it'd be really funny. No. I don't think Doug likes me that much. Really? No. I think you'd be perfect on the show

Yeah but he doesn't like me I just fucking said that You're kidding It has nothing to do with the pot He doesn't like me Really? Yeah so probably no Yeah

Tony and Red Van got me into Smoking weed again back in June I don't give a fuck I really don't And no So that's that Let's move on But what I'm saying is

It didn't go into other things I don't drink or anything I'm a drug addict Iron Patriot. What I'm saying is it didn't go into other things. I don't drink or anything. I'm a drug addict. Patriot. Patriot. I'm a recovering drug addict, man. I have a disease. From now on, your questions for the guests have to come through me.

And if you're ever wondering, episodes and weeks down the road, why you have to do that, always go back to episode 32. I need to be free. I need to be free to explore my artistry. You really came at both of the guests in a very offensive way. Very rude, I thought. Very rude. I wanted to come in here and be offensive and not defensive.

Somebody's rust proofing isn't working. It's all in good fun, Jeff. You know it's good. But IP, we don't know who the fuck you are. It's unfair. It's true. You see me, you can Google me. I don't know who the fuck you are.

You could be like a little Filipino man behind that. Or two of them stacked on top of one another. Yeah. Metal asshole. Oh, shit. There you go. Yeah. The audience is now turning. There you go. The audience is now turning.

There you go, the audience is out of nowhere. Wow. Patriot. Can you imagine if on the old Tonight Show, Ed McMahon just started making fun of the guests when they came out? He just ignores that question. There you go.

Do you have any roast coming up that I would fit on? That I'd be good to come up with? Yeah, he's roasting R2-D2 on the Death Star next week. What the fuck are you talking about that you would fit into? I wouldn't even book you on the R2-D2 roast. I would dig up the robot from Lost in Space before I would... Fucking Iron Man's fucking retarded

cousin over here. It's his iron deficiency, man. Boom. Jeff, I'm actually the Iron Patriot. I have to correct you. Thank you. I'm not Iron Man. I'm Iron Patriot. I'm the Roastmaster General.

Let's fight crime together, IP. Yeah, yeah. Fuck yeah. What's next, Tony? What happens now? This is it. Well, let's get right into the main frame of the show. Most of you know how it works.

Over 40 comedians signed up tonight for the opportunity to do this. 40? 45. Over 40. Over 40. 45 comedians signed up for the opportunity to get one minute of time here tonight in front of you guys.

Get some, perhaps some positive or any kind of feedback that you can possibly give them. Try to help them out a little bit. It's not a competition, but it is just, oh there you go. A little shout out for the guy that wanted mic feedback.

Red Band really catering to you. Wow. And you guys know how it works. Comedians get picked. We pull randomly out of a bucket. We try to get through as many as we can in the allotted time. And you get 60 seconds. You'll know your time's up that you've hit 60 seconds when you hear the meow of a kitty.

That's what it sounds like. You better dismount then because if you run your time, you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood band. And I mean, he really sounds angry tonight. He interrupted you. He sounds furious. There you go. It's a really lively crowd. Can I pick? You want to pick?

I want to pick the first one. You pick first. I'm going to pick the first one, guys. You guys ready? Kill Tony 32 with Jeff Ross and Bobby Lee. And the first name is... Can I read it? Sure. Craig Conant.

Is there a Craig Conant? Craig Conant. Here he comes. Craig Conant. Deep in the gullet. Oh, fuck. What's up, Bobby? Hi. Yeah. I know you. One minute Bobby? Hi. Yeah. I know you. One minute now?

Yeah go. Thank you. I work at Trader Joe's everybody. Trader Joe's is number one in customer service. Do you guys know why? Because they don't drug test. Look at this. This guy works here.

You guys ever go in there and you get that overexcited cashier that's more excited about your food than you are. Because it's me. He's like, chocolate-covered s'mores. Eat those in the microwave for like four to six seconds. They're fucking heavenly. Oh, that one didn't go over so good. But I work in West Hollywood, and I have this half-handsome,

half-homeless look going on. And I get hit on. Which half? That half. But sometimes I'll be ringing up a gay dude and he hits on me and it's like really gay and gross. And I'm just like, ugh. And then sometimes he's clean shaven and he smells like honey mango. And he makes me blush.

Oh, shit. I'm sober now. There you go. That's your minute. That's Craig Canant. I like it. A lot. You're like a Tom Rhodes-y kind of a guy. You're Tom Rhodes at all? Tom hit the Rhodes.

Thanks, Jeff Ross. Hell yeah, sit down. Make yourself comfortable. Hey, when you... When a joke bombs... What is this, your birthday stand-up? Yeah. You guys are making me nervous. No, you're doing great, buddy.

When you bomb on a joke, you don't have to put attention to it. Okay. Just move on, bro. All right. Yeah. Because your whole act sucked, you know what I mean? So it was joke, you don't have to, don't put attention to it. Okay. Move on, bro. All right. Yeah. Because your whole act sucked,

you know what I mean? So it was like, you know. No, I like you. You're very cute. Thank you. You were great. Keep it up. Keep it up.

Good luck with whatever you choose to try next. Okay. There's a lot you could do with the traitor joke, definitely, because I think everyone just thought the same thing, with the trader joke, definitely, because I think everyone's thought the same thing, that were Whole Foods, that everyone there smokes weed and trips,

and you could probably go deeper into that whole idea. Yeah, because it seems like the Whole Foods people that work there probably have better weed than the trader shows people. You got like the Mexican shake or something like that. Yeah, it's laced. No, I don't know. Okay. Maybe that was a bad idea. laced. No, I don't know. Okay. Still trying to be funny.

Maybe that was a bad idea. I quit. Your minute's up, kid. I know. Hey, Tony, can I pick that Korean guy right up there? Because like two weeks ago, he came up to me and goes, hey, well, growing up, when I was watching you on TV, I didn't think you were good.

That's what he said to me. And then he goes, but no, you're all right, you know? 45 people signed up for the random opportunity to do a minute and you want to start handpicking Koreans out of the front row? Are there any more Koreans here that would like a chance of, uh, oh, yeah, this...

Alright. Okay. You want a picture? Wait, Bobby, Bobby. I'll let you know when we're going to pick new names. Craig Canant is still on stage. I don't know if you noticed that. Why? You guys haven't dismissed me yet.

You were great. All right. But it's not really about whether he's great or not. Three years. Two. Two years. How many times a week do you go out? Three, four.

That's pretty good. Yeah. There's not much to say because it's like you don't seem nervous and you're you know you seem relevant but you know I can't tell yet

you know what I mean so give me a hug man get the fuck out of here what would you say but what would you say if you worked at Trader Joe's what would what are some aspects

you'd like to hear what are some questions you would have for a guy that works at Trader Joe's well I'm just saying that like I'm not when someone's new

right I would just rather hear about their more specific life. About where they're from and all that kind of stuff. In a minute. You have that ring the bell shit at Trader Joe's, which is cute.

You could probably go into something like that. About how there's bells. Just really dissect your store as if they're all drug addicts. And I wouldn't call gay people gross. I think that's a little bit overkill. Where are you from? LA. Really? Yeah. Why do you look like

Leonard Skinner? What happened? What part of LA did you grow up in? All over. LaMita, Torrance, Redondo Beach, Culver City, Englewood. Wow. I just want to say something. You're a guest on the show. Alameda, Torrance, Redona Beach, Culver City, Englewood. Wow. Hollywood.

I just want to say something. Can I just say something? I want to say something. You're a guest on the show. You can say whatever you want. There's two types of comedians, right? There's like the ones that want to do the road and do stand-up forever, right? And just go on the road.

And then there are guys that like want to put together a 10-minute set, get an agent, try to audition, and become like a TV person. Who do you want to be? The road. You want to be a road guy? Okay. Bye. There he goes, everybody.

Craig Conant. He's on Twitter at Craig Conant. That's an interesting name. I felt so bad for him being the first person. That was so awkward for him. Well, the first person always takes a bullet. That was very good. It was great for the first person. Yeah. Here we go. Pick another one, Bobby. Are you saying the quicker we go, the first person always takes a bullet. That was very good. It was great for the first person. Yeah. Here we go. Pick another one, Bobby.

So are you saying the quicker we go, the more people in this room will get on stage? It's not about how quick we go. No, but I'm just curious. All the names of the people, are all the people in the room right now? A lot of them? If not, then they get blacklisted and they can't sign up again. This is cutthroat. Yeah, when Bobby's on.

Actually, we have a special Bobby Lee role that when Bobby's on that he made, they get banned from the club for three months if they miss their spot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's for sure, yeah. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It's getting banned from the club?

Yeah. Depends on what trajectory. I mean, everybody's different. Who knows? There you go. Jeff Ross picking out of the bucket. For those of you listening pick the Korean what does it say

Dave Emerson Dave Emerson Dave Emerson Dave Emerson if I don't see somebody moving somebody's gonna get blacklisted seriously he's banned

that's the sound of being blacklisted. You heard it. I'm going to put this in my pocket. All right, he's banned. You're going to give it to Tommy afterwards? I'm going to give it to Tommy, yeah. I asked about that, and then it happened. Yeah, that was pretty amazing.

Simulation theory. Here, pick another one. Here we go. Jeff Ross, hand in the bucket. Waving it in the air. Bobby reads it. Casey Skinner it Casey Skinner Casey Skinner

Ah yeah The human being Don't you hate it when you're Making love to the wife And the husband keeps making eye contact Fucking boner killer My girlfriend has passive aggressive orgasms Contact. Fucking boner killer. My girlfriend has passive-aggressive orgasms.

Sure, she's screaming, but it always seems like it's about the dishes. People get so offended so easily these days. This girl got so offended, I said, maybe it skips a generation. It's not my fault. Her parents are dead and she just had a miscarriage. Do you think the KKK ranks their members by a thread count? I'm just saying, have you seen the Wizards? Looks like they're in silk. Have you seen the intern, the runner for the KKK? It looks like... All I know is to hold a point like that, it takes a lot of starch. It's a lot of work there.

Come on. Oh, God. All right. You sway a lot. Are you the Iron Patriots twin brother? You move a lot. Do you have a thing? Like, you have Tourette's or something, or some sort of physical thing? Do you want to hear something funny? What? We didn't hear it in your 60 seconds. Please stand. Please stand, please. Do you have a thing? Do you have Tourette's or something? Do you want to hear something funny?

We didn't hear it in your 60 seconds. Please stand. This is the first time we've ever been on stage. Wow! We love that. The cherry popper. We pull a lot of those off here. We've had at least 10, 20.

I like your look. You're like a sick jizzle neck. Thank you. Stage four. You're a regular there. So you don't go, so you decided

that this is the first place to showcase to go up. I came up to put my name on the open mic and it was already gone. And I just put this on.

I figured it would come up. Awesome. Congratulations. You guys upgraded. Heck yeah. Yeah, and now I have to do my first set in front of fucking Jeff Ross. What a great story.

And me, fuckface. And me, fuckface. Thank you, fuckface. Thank you. I forgot about that. How dare you. Well, then, you know what you can do Is just learn to keep the mic steady

Put your phone down It shouldn't be in your hand It seems very weird to have your phone And relax a little bit And you should try it again sometime Yeah yeah yeah You should Where'd you come from?

You live in LA? Really? So you're also originally from LA No, came from New York How long'd you come from? You live in L.A.? His mom's butt. Really? So you're also originally from L.A.? No, came from New York. How long have you been here? Almost two years. What'd you come out here to do? Music.

What do you play? I don't play, I produce. Wow. Where do you work? I have my own studio downtown. Studio apartment. Okay. where do you work? I have my own studio downtown studio apartment you're definitely one liners is that the kind of style you're going for

or is that just what you thought I just like one liners getting right to it doing 60 minutes of one-liners, that's like 120 jokes almost. Awesome. That's good. Henny Youngman, king of one-liners.

Fuck yeah. Jay London. Jay London's fantastic. I think I gave a better example. But it's fine. Henny Youngman. I think anyone that does stand-up is brave. And that's what you get. You came up here, and you're brave.

And congratulations. Yeah, that's totally awesome. It's like jumping out of an airplane or something. It is, yeah. Yep. Welcome. Congratulations. Casey Skinner's first set.

Thank you. You saw it here. Bobby's got his hand in the bucket. Korean guy, Korean guy, Korean guy A lot of people online think he's your brother, by the way No, he's not JT JT

Oh, this guy's crazy, I love it We've had JT on before What's up, guys, how you guys doing? When does the minute start yet? Oh yeah, it already started Oh, okay Well, I was dating some Indian girl Some East Indian girl

And the whole thing about her She wanted to look like Kim Kardashian You know what I mean? She did look like kind of Kim Kardashian. You know what I mean? She did look like kind of Kim Kardashian, but she didn't really have the booty. So she was like, I'm going to get the booty. So I was like, the whole time, I was like, I'm doing the workout. It's like, I'm going to get my booty.

All right, cool. It was like, one day I was like, I was lying in my bed. I was like, she's going to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm just watching you go to the bathroom, girl. She's like, don't look at my booty, you look at my booty. I ain't looking at your booty, you know what I mean? You're just going to the bathroom. She's like, I'm watching you go to the bathroom, I'm checking you, I'm not checking out your booty,

I'm just like, even though you ain't got much of a booty. It's like, you know what I learned by dating this Indian girl? Wow, straight to the angry bear. That's a first. Wow. I didn't even get to my punchline. What the fuck? You didn't. It's a minute.

Oh, it's like, you know what I learned by dating this Indian girl? That the red dot on her forehead meant the coffee was ready. Wow. How much longer until you were going to say that part? I was going to tell her to go down

the pink dot and grab me some overpriced chips and get yourself a pink dot. Fuck yeah. That's not marijuana, is it? You're like a crazy guy on a bridge. You know how they scream Fuck yeah That's not marijuana is it That's an interesting one You're like a crazy guy on a bridge

Like you know how they scream about the apocalypse Go go That's what it seemed like to me That you're just going crazy Is that Well I used to be crazy Wow I can see it starting to come out again

Also there was a time where you were very aggressive toward me. You would come up and squeeze my ears or pinch my butthole. I thought you were Chinese, so I was going... One day you looked at me like, hey, dude. What the fuck? Patriot, get ready to pounce. You're like, I could get you fired. He just looked at me like, hey, dude, I could get you kicked out of here forever.

I said that? He kind of had that look I didn't say that I would never say that This is my normal look That's my own look I was like No no All I did was just

Come up to you and go Boom boom wah And I thought you were Chinese So That's it GT Does this work? Honestly you had a minute

you didn't do one punchline in the whole joke you sound like a crazy person and yeah the booty and the dot thing that's two different that's two different jokes

all together yeah last time you had a couple jokes about your girlfriend being a hooker and all that stuff you know

I could see you're attempting what you're attempting to do was there a joke in there that we just missed or did you just get some meth in the bathroom? What was the booty thing? Well, I was just saying. How did that end?

I was just like, man, I just came out of here. I was way in the back. I was bummed out. So by the time, I didn't know when the minute was going to start so I didn't have it set up yet. There you go. GT, everybody. He's on Twitter at GT Music. GT, there he goes. Don't kill me.

Don't kill me, okay? There he goes. I think you should pick from now on because I'm fucking it up. Patriot, how you doing over there? You okay? Yeah, you guys are doing a good job. Thank you. Next comedian goes by the name of Scott Kidd.

Next comedian goes by the name of Scott Kidd Here he is, it's Scott Kidd He's been on a few So I like to use Facebook I use it to network I use it to pick up chicks But I keep getting all these fucking requests To play Candy Crush. And what plagues me is that I get five requests a day from the ugliest, fattest women to play

Candy Crush. Why is it that every one of these women look like they need an insulin shot before they start playing Candy Crush. There's this one huge fat bitch who I know for a fact is sitting in front of her computer with a huge cellophane bag of hard candy just crushing the fuck out of it. Just, ah! Ah! Don't get me wrong. I'll crush the fuck out of some candy.

But I'm not playing motherfucking candy crush. Okay. Are we supposed to know when you do that lift and slam thing at the mic stand that that's your thing? Yes, that's it. The court is now in session. Fuck yeah. Well, you're really staying in that candy crush pocket um interesting yeah a lot of hate a lot of hate yeah when a white dude talks

about fat chicks it just doesn't work for me no you're being mean it's like you know if you were like a good-looking white dude maybe that'd be fun but like you're not maybe you're like it's like, you know, if you were like a good looking white dude, maybe that'd be fun. But like, you're not. Maybe. You're like, it's like someone drew you. You know what I mean? Like someone said, I'm gonna draw a white person and then they drew you. And then you're like, what the fuck is he talking about? He can't get fat chicks or nobody right now.

Now when you get credits, dude, when you get credits, maybe you'll be able to get like an Esther Pavensky or something like that. Is that her name? Is that her name? What are we talking about? Your ex-girlfriend. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah.

But right now, you know what I mean? Let's just work on being likable. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right? Yeah, dog. Yeah. Are these people going to kill me?

No, nobody's going to kill Tony. Nobody kill me, okay? They're going to kill Tony. I got me, okay? They're gonna kill Tony. I got your back, Bobby. I never noticed that he... Thank you, Korean. Thank you. Thank you, Korean.

How long did you work on that bit before you presented it here tonight? I did it once before... Twice before, actually. Across the street this past weekend and then like some other shows but it's more something I've just been running into. I don't know the whole insulin thing I haven't, that was new. Yeah, but usually it's just something that I kind of

slap around and you know like a fat chick. But anyway Wow. You really have something against fat chicks. No I don't. I came from one. It really seems like you could rewrite the whole bit into something like, I keep on getting candy crush requests and they all seem like they ate all the candy.

Boom, next. Or anything. You got to just get to the point. I was really just trying to make it last a minute. Was your mother fat? Was your mother fat? Yes, she was. She is.

She used to beat you. Yeah, she did. She did. That's what it's coming from. Totally. Mommy issues. Maybe therapy. Therapy maybe.

So I can't use this as therapy? No, no, no. Oh, that's my mistake. What do you do for a living? Right now I do freelance graphic work. So comedy is like your way to let it rip. Let all your aggressions out.

Most of the time, yes. I can see that. Okay, be careful with that. Is that an Argentina national? You like Argentina? Are you Argentinian? No, no, I'm not. But you're a fan of the soccer team.

I am. Name me three players. I was hoping maybe I could get a little messy, but... Oh, messy? Okay. But yeah, what's the other? Bloody Suka, which is pretty old. Thank you so much.

And yeah. Thank you so much. You're a fraud. You're a fraud. I'm a fraud? You're cutting deep tonight. I'm so sorry. My girlfriend's waiting at home. I don't know why I'm a fraud? You're cutting deep tonight I'm so sorry I just My girlfriend's waiting at home

I don't know why Thanks Bobby That's so great I love it Thank you so much man There he goes Scott Kidd everybody Scott Kidd everybody

Yeah yeah Alright let me ask you guys this When you first started comedy Do you remember a joke That you're embarrassed That you had That you did Yeah I did one

Do you remember it? that you're embarrassed that you had that you did? Yeah, I did one. Do you remember it? Yeah, well, I said, I'm so lonely when I masturbate, I grab my own ass. And then I used to turn around to the crowd and go, yeah, do me, do me. Like that. That's so funny. No, it wasn't. Really?

Disgusted me. Oh, wow. I mean, they have so many bad jokes You know Yeah I mean you know I know what it's I've been doing it forever

Right You know And it's like I know the struggles It takes a long time Yeah You know what it is What I figured out

It's not even about being funny It's just about staying in it Yeah You know dudes that stay in it Generally make it eventually Because their friends make it Right I'm serious.

Like, when I did open mics, I used to host the open mics here in the late 90s. Thank you so much. And a lot of those people, like, you know, Morgan Murphy, or even like Nick Swartz and these kind of guys, they used to do the open mics. They all kind of just stick around. And they were talented.

But the guys that quit never make it, obviously, you know what I mean? So just don't quit. Just keep going. That's all. That's great. Great advice, Bob. Jeff, do you remember a joke you did when you first started out that you're embarrassed about?

One of my first jokes was about my father being a caterer, and I was on the Little League team, and instead of giving me a baseball bat for my birthday, he gave me a Hebrew National Salami, and I took that the Little League team, and instead of giving me a baseball bat for my birthday, he gave me a Hebrew National Salami. And I took that to Little League practice. Do you guys have your notes from when you first started out? I found mine the other day, and I was just, oh, what the hell was I thinking? I have a journal.

I should read it one day. It's like the first year of me doing stand-up. And me being mad at like you know what I mean oh man they didn't put me at this open mic

in San Diego I'm gonna fucking kill that manager like shit like that you know what I mean like I would like cause I wanted it so bad you know what I mean

and was so hungry I'm a very I was very opportunistic that's what people said I didn't have a lot of friends because it was just cause I was 23 pussyless

moneyless I had nothing and I found a gateway to my salvation. Anybody that would get in my way I would just get all angry and shit. I have a journal. I may even read it one day. Yeah, you should do that on a podcast.

Read the whole thing. Yeah, I will maybe. Bobby, didn't you work at a coffee shop and then you got fired and you went to the first place? It was in San Diego. The first place next door was the comedy store. Yes, that's true. How the fuck do you know that?

Well, I was reading about you. Do you think if it were a meat shop you would have become a butcher? Oh my God. You were doing good. You were digging yourself out of a hole for a moment. No, I worked at this place called Disc Cafe and one day I went to work

and it was completely closed and they didn't call me. We didn't have cell phones back then. It was in the 90s. Right? And then I went next door because they had a help

wanted sign at the comedy store in La Jolla and I knocked on the door and they go, do you want to be a bar back? And I became a bar back there first. Wow.

And then maybe like a month in, Fred Burns used to manage the place, said, hey kid, you want to go up? And I went up for like three minutes and then I just kept going.

And then... You fell in love with it. Well, not really, but I just kept going. Was there somebody that you saw there that like... No, it was Jennifer Field. Here's what it is.

The only girls I got, because I was 23, the only girls I got was prostitutes in Tijuana. Thank you so much. I used to go to this place called Coahuila, Coahuila Street, and there was a place called Adelita.

And look at the girls judging me right now. When you're fat and ethnic, I got nothing. And so we used to go there every week and get hookers for like 60 bucks. And then I started doing stand-up and then one night this girl, Jennifer Field,

walked up to me, this hottest white chick. She goes, can you take me on a date? And no girls liked me. And that's what hooked me. Because she saw me do stand up, and then I got laid. And then that's how it happened.

So you're like, I'm into this. Thank you, Jennifer, if you're listening. Jennifer Field. She had a pink pussy. I loved it. Thank you so much. Jennifer Field changed the trajectory of Korean comedians forever by giving her a taste of that sweet. That's a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing that.

Thank you, Jeff. Thank you so much, Jeff. Thank you. Your next comedian tonight goes by the name of Brian Hippert. Girl. No girl. You're talking about girl, by the way. There's girls.

There's two regulars that come on at the end that are always girls. Uh-oh. Brian Hippert, are you here? There he is, Brian Hippert. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Even everyone? Married 10 years now.

And the other morning, I work nights at a hotel doing security, and I got home the other night. Apparently I found some lip liner on the floor, put it on the bathroom counter. Just as I was about to fall asleep, my wife says, this isn't my color. Whose shit is this? But it sounds more Mexican-y,

because she's an uppie Mexican. She calls herself Spanish. who shit is this? But it sounds more Mexicany because she's an uppity Mexican. She calls herself Spanish. So she don't have me in Spanish and English. She said, who's this? Who's this? I said, baby, I'm not cheating on you. She said, who is it? Who is in this house? I said, it probably came from downtown. She said, well, who is it?

I just got so goddamn frustrated that I just reached over the side of the bed, grabbed my comrade, threw it at her, and said, meet my mistress. All right. I'm half black, half white, and I grew up in a predominantly white town. Meow.

Is this one quick? Yeah, the nickname was McNigger. Okay. You should have opened with that. The information, you fucked up the first joke. You put the information about your wife first, and then you set up the joke. But you set up the joke, then did the information about the fucking wife, and then we're all fucking lost. Fucked up. I'm sorry about that.

No, no, no. I'm sorry. I was too mean. What kind of security guard are you? You're an insecurity guard. He's just trying to give you some joke, you know, the construction of the joke. He's not insulting you, you understand.

Oh, no, I didn't take it as an insult. You really want to move that mic stand when you go on stage because it was just like crinkling, making noises. Put it behind you, you know, right when you get on stage. Explain the half black, half... I'm sorry. Go on. This is always happening.

Try this. The other guy did this, too. If you've never been on stage or you've only been on stage once or twice Just try doing this when you get up here Then you'll be able to walk around the whole front of the stage And nothing will squeak And you'll feel You'll feel loose

And sometimes when this is in front of you like this It pulls focus Right? So it's like putting it in the back of you Or you're not that physical So why don't you just keep it in the mic and be a talking head so put that thing in the mic

and just stand there like that and just do it that way just talk like this? yeah like that do the last joke that you did do it just like that but face the crowd now do it

I'm half black half white I grew up in a predominantly white town and all through high school out. Now do it. I'm half black, half white. I grew up in a predominantly white town and all through high school my nickname was McNigger. Okay, good. Is that a little better? Really good. Why am I giving this guy

tips? You feel bad for me because I wore white shoes? No, the shoes aren't the problem. They are kind of a problem. What the hell are those white shoes? How long have you been doing it? I did a little bit ten years ago until my wife said I'm not marrying a stand-up comedian. Then why would

you fucking marry a girl like that? Why would you marry a girl that doesn't support your fucking dreams man she has great tits have you seen his fucking show what are you talking about oh yeah

she's trying to help two worst jokes I ever heard in my life I don't honestly you know I'm with the wife on this one no actually

what got me what actually got me motivated to come back up here was this is fucked up but season four of Eastbound Down Eastbound and Down that got me motivated to come back up here was, and this is fucked up, but season four of Eastbound and Down

got me motivated to come back up. Why? That's a TV show. I know, but the whole Kenny Powers struggle kind of related to me because I've been exterminated for the last ten years, finally got my degree, and now I'm fucking working hotel security part-time. Honestly, I fucking don't want to work

or else I'm going to end up hanging myself or shooting myself. I'm probably going to hang myself. No, don't, don't, don't. Oh, to work or else I'm going to end up hanging myself or shooting myself. I'm probably going to hang myself. No, don't, don't, don't. Oh, oh, oh. I'm doing it. Oh, oh, oh. This goes into a joke. You can't say this on Kill Tony.

We can't get called into court being an accessory to a suicide. I'd probably end up shooting myself. No, hang yourself. Hang yourself, you're going to do it. Let him finish his joke. No, there's no eight-foot ceilings in a one-bedroom apartment. Say it again? There's no eight-foot ceilings in a one-bedroom apartment. Say it again? There's no eight-foot ceilings in a one-bedroom apartment.

So he can't hang on to that. No, he was doing a joke. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, I actually like that joke. I would have hung myself by now, but there's no eight-foot ceilings. I would change it to studio. So wait, you live in a one-bedroom apartment with a chick that didn't want to marry you if you were a stand-up, but you were an exterminator? That's right.

And I can't have children because I've had three traumatic ball injuries that have left me sick. Wow. That's your opener. That is totally your opener. Right there. Tell me what happened. What happened? Name me the first one. Let's go in order.

In high school, I lost a bet and had to play on the field hockey team with the girls. The one game I didn't wear a cup, I caught a stick right to the balls, and I actually had to have an eight-gauge needle shoved into my sack to drain the fluid. Ooh. Wow. Wait, I'm sorry. That was the number one one? What's number two?

There's three? Number two was in the Navy. Oh, shit. I really want to get into it. Yeah, go do it. It was Thailand. The guy was sucking you off. No.

No, actually, that did happen. There was man boys. I was high on opium. I did a shitload of those minder races. They got a club shark in Thailand, Phuket Town. And then some guy talked me into smoking opium. He didn't have to try too hard. Bobby, why would you do that to him? I'm in the alley.

This is the good shit right here. I'm in the alley with my buddy, and you know, they had big tits, and I was like, oh, shit. They gotta be girls, so I'm getting sucked off. Everyone would make that assumption. She's squatting.

My buddy starts tapping me, but it's head I'm paying for. Tapping you? He's tapping me because he can see that he's got balls. I'm not seeing it. So he's like, balls, balls, balls. He's tapping you and he's saying balls? Yeah, and I'm almost there,

so I said I'm going to finish. And you were about to finish when he's saying balls. I said, fuck it, I finished. What did that have anything to do with your nutsack injury, though? Oh, no. What was the second nut injury? When we were in Thailand, I was trying to remember. So that story had nothing to do with your nutsack?

You keep that to yourself, fucker. I asked for the three incidents, and then you start going on a tangent to some other thing. I don't want to know about that, fucker. I asked for the three incidents and then you start going on a tangent to some other thing. I don't want to know about that, fucker. I apologize about that. I brought that up. That was my fault. I made a joke thinking that it would just get a laugh. It did. And then he's like, actually, that did happen to me as well.

Oh, I see. I see what happened. The second one, I was on duty on my third day in Thailand and I was trying to pry off a fire extinguisher bracket. The crowbar slipped out and popped with tremendous force and hit me in the left nut. What the fuck, dude? And that fucking thing swelled up again,

and I had to have my nuts drained again. Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow. Now, the third one. The third one, that's just fucking. The third one was in 2001. I had just got my wife pregnant. Okay?

How? You've dropped more balls than Dick Clark. Hello. Thank you. Thank you, Kai. No, I... No, I'm up on the ladder. I was working overnight stock in the paint department.

Now, they have cases... They come in cases of four gallons. I'm holding it against my chest. I'm leaning against. I got my nuts resting on the orange metal. What? I got this fucking... Slow down. Time out.

Time out. Time out. Time out. So you're holding what? A gallon of what? The four gallon case. And you have your nuts on some shelf? Meaning it's so heavy he's resting it on his crotch so he can carry it. I've got this woman

comes up behind me. It's in Orange County so this is up in Newport Beach. She says Is my fucking pain ready yet? I lost my shit. I went up like that. The cheap ass cardboard breaks. Four gallons.

Boom. Boom. Bruised over 85% on both testicles. And here's a sad but ironic part is eight months later, my wife lost the baby. And that's kind of sad. Leave that out. Jesus Christ. Leave that out.

Fuck. All right. Thank Christ. Leave that out. Fuck. I'm going to hang myself now. Thank you so much, buddy. It's fine. But thank you so much. If I may real quick. Just an honor to be up here with Jeff Ross. I love that everybody keeps doing that.

No, no. Bobby Lee, the best skit on Mad TV ever was the Daewoo guy. Oh, thank you. All right. No, but okay. Thank you so much. No, great job, though. Great job.

Thank you. Those were great stories. Thank you. They were great stories. What's your name? What's your name? Brian Hippert. Brian Hippert.

That's H-I-P-P-E-R-T. You're not on Twitter? Not yet. I'm still trying to think about the handle. Oh, there you go. Friend him on Facebook. Brian Hippert. Brian Hippert. That's H-I-P-P-E-R-T. You're not on Twitter? Not yet. I'm still trying to think about it. Oh, there you go. Friend him on Facebook. Brian Hippert. Maybe I should be sterileguy at or at sterileguy. There might already be a sterileguy out there. Sterileguy.

Thank you very much, though, gentlemen. You got some balls. It takes Shut up. Stop it. It takes a lot of balls to do what he did. Like, really, though. Have you guys ever had any injury to your balls, ever?

No. How does he get three? He made me worry a little bit about when I got kicked in the balls playing soccer in, like, fifth grade. How long did you puke? I laid on the ground for so long it hurt so bad. And now I'm starting to wonder maybe it stunted my growth or something. It stunted your growth.

Doesn't it get big when you get a hernia too? You get the big ball? That happens to you? No, I've heard about that. It didn't happen to me. Yes, it does. It happened to you? No, I've heard about that. It didn't happen to me. Yes, it does. It's true, though. It happened to you?

No, it didn't. I don't have a scratch on my nutsack. Do you guys have big balls, like big Ari Shaffir balls, or do you have normal-sized balls? Have you seen Bad Grandpa? There's a funny skit with his balls in it. They used to call me, at Magic V, Black Sack. Black Sack?

Yeah, because I have real ethnic nutsacks. What's an ethnic nutsack? I've seen your nutsack a few times, actually. Yeah, because I have real ethnic nut sacks. What's an ethnic nut sack? I've seen your nut sack a few times actually. Yeah, they're dark. They're very dark and it's like it's abnormal.

He has black balls. Yeah, my balls are black. Shut the fuck up. Show us. Show us. I'll show you. Show everybody. Not you people

but just you. Can I just turn around? You showed your balls on the burn, remember? I know but that was blurred out. Oh. No, I'll do it later.

I'll do it later. Yeah, I want to see this. Okay. No, I'll do it later. I'll do it later. Yeah, I want to see this later. Let me pick. Let me pick. Let me pick. Okay. I shouldn't have shared that fucking information. Black balls.

Let's move on. Let's fucking move on, dude. You're like some kind of dog or something. Those black balls. Oh, fuck. Do I have to say this? Let me see. Oh, shit.

Yeah, you have to say it. It's Mozilla. Mozilla's been doing the open mic at the Comedy Store for about 20-some years. Yeah, you're done picking. I'd like to talk about traditions. We have Hollywood traditions, and people just don't follow them. You can tell the real posers, the newbies. I was at a Thanksgiving dinner,

and after everybody ate, nobody went into the bathroom and barfed up. I'm Italian. We're like the original bulimics. Hey, who was the first guy that came up with a barfatorium? The old lady comes up and goes, Dude, your friends are not only peeing all over the place, they're barfing all over the place.

And how about the second guy? I don't care what the Caesars have. We're not getting a barfatorium. And then how do you show people? You invite them over, you know, to show them your new bathroom addition. Hey, I got this new remodel, but first, let's eat. I think I actually just heard someone in the audience pass away. Mugzilla, I don't know if there's any advice we could really give you.

How long have you been doing stand-up? I've been doing stand-up for so long. How long is it? That Bobby was hosting when I started. My fondest early memories are of Bobby Lee. Wow, just think. He's had a full-blown career and you're still right there

at the bottom. Oh, don't say that. Are you on medication? I feel like you're calmer now. Are you on medication? Well, you know, I've been hanging with Jem. That's like hitting the heavy bag.

You guys don't know about Jem. He grows his own weed. And then I make... It's just unbearable. Mugzilla, you just got to go. I can't pick anymore. Mugzilla, I love you. Can I ask you one question?

Have you ever heard that joke before? What? The barfatorium joke. No, I don't even know what a barfatorium is. That doesn't sound like a real thing. It was a real thing. What's a barfatorium, Joe. No, I don't even know what a barfatorium is. That doesn't sound like a real thing. Okay, that's all. It was a real thing. What's a barfatorium?

They were in ancient Rome. They would have a room to go barf in. Oh, well, there you go. I'd say stick with it. It's super topical. I'm sure a lot of people are... If you ever do a show at like a... All right, guys.

Thank you very much. Mugzilla, everybody. He's on Twitter at Mugzilla007. Michael Sofra. I do like the fact that he knew when it was over. He's like, thank you very much and got the fuck off. Yeah, he gets it. Gotta respect that.

Yeah, he's super cool. I love him. Your next comedian is Missy Martinez, everybody. Wow. Exciting. You know Missy? Am I gonna put this inside me instead of putting it to the back? You can do whatever you want.

You only have 10 seconds left. No, I'm just kidding. All right, so I'm Missy Martinez. I'm a porn star or the reason why your boyfriend or husband clears his web browser. I've been doing porn for four years, and I'm still as tight as JonBenet Ramsey. When she was alive, before she was murdered. And yeah, I'm a porn star, and no, I wasn't molested. I tried hard, though.

My dad, he just, I wasn't molested. I tried hard, though. My dad, he just... I don't know. But growing up, I knew, like, in high school, I was going to be really good at sex. I had a lot of practice. Just dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. Which was kind of odd, because I was homeschooled. But hey, I was undefeated homecoming and prom queen.

Yeah, so... I don't know how long a minute is. I can't count. Is that what you have so far? You have 10 seconds left. You have another 10 seconds. Do I tap dance? It's all good.

No, that's great. There you go. Excellent. Was that your first time? That's your first time doing stand-up? Very first time being on stage doing stand-up. Wow. That was very good.

Thank you. You know what's great is that you definitely have a perspective, obviously, since you're a porn star. Look what you just did to that mic. I'm off duty today. You got to rub the stand-up below it to make it up. I've never had a black one before. Maybe that's what it is. Good girl.

Jesus Christ. she's talked about Mike's have you ever had a white mind anyway so that's awesome I mean she has your punch lines and if that's your first time I that was really good yeah I was really nervous cuz even though my buttholes all over the internet this is a different type of vulnerability right I can totally relate right you know bleaching there we go there we go yeah boom the biggest tip I would say is project your voice more into the microphone because you're very you have a very quiet voice yeah yeah but if you have to it's really hard oh everyone's been insulting Bobby I had to to join in. Oh, okay.

There you go. But yeah, it was kind of hard to hear you, I'm sure. Oh, okay. In the back and stuff like that. And I wouldn't break up your material with that little giggle that you did. It's great and that's cool, but I think just keep going and just keep driving it in there.

We could tell where the definite breaks in between your jokes were. Okay. And you could just keep it flowing because we don't need to know when the end of the joke is. And you can also tag the things that you did say that got laughs because they were really funny because they do come from a perspective that people aren't used to.

Like when you say, but I tried, I didn't get molested as a kid, but I tried. I don't know what exactly, but boom, boom, boom. After that. And then into the next thing. I really have no notes. No notes? Just keep going up.

Yeah, definitely keep going up. That's your first minute? Absolutely. Do this every week. Oh, thank you so much. I love all you guys. Can I say something? Sure.

Of course. You know there's this new law where you gotta wear condoms In the porno business Has that changed things at all or do you like it That law was overturned It was considered unlawful because it is a violation Of our first amendment right of freedom of speech Fuck yeah

I didn't know that That's good news Galleria for you and you and that guy Thank you guys so much it was an honor You got it Follow her on twitter Missy Martinez. Follow her on Twitter, Missy X Martinez. And you can also catch her on a lot of Death Squad shows too,

so that's cool. Great job. Do we have any Purell for the microphone? Your next comedian goes by the name of Klee Wiggins, everybody. I need this. I need this sweet. I can't resist. Oh, shit, yeah. Your next comedian goes by the name of Klee Wiggins everybody Oh shit yeah Did you say you love me Bobby? I do

Oh thank you Me too Alright let's see So I Despite your Like snap judgment of me I'm not

Actually An unhappy lesbian. I actually do like the dick. And Missy, you were hilarious. But I have a boyfriend now and he's also a black nerd like me. I'm wearing a Star Wars t-shirt. But before I dated him,

I actually fucked a ginger once. Oh, well, yeah. There is that. But he did actually represent for his people very well. I would give him a solid three and a half stars out of five. But the first time we ever hooked up, his roommate walked in on us. And his roommate goes, you guys look like Neapolitan ice cream. I was mad that he got to be two of the three flavors. My angry negro kicked in.

I'm like, that's just the man keeping Sissa down once again. How come you get to be two flavors? We're Neapolitan ice cream with caramel. That's how it goes. But then I found out he grew up in Ventura County and didn't know any black people growing up. I'll finish there.

Fuck it. Clee Wiggins. Good job. You really hooked up with a red-headed guy? There's actually two. The whole joke is a combination of two different dudes that I combine into one for comedy purposes.

Two different redheads? Do I what now? Two different redheads? Yeah, I fucked two red-headed white guys and I made a joke. But I make it one white guy so I don't have to... Is that like a fetish for black ladies?

No. Because that is probably... I feel like that's like the whitest white. Right. I mean, if you're going to rebel, that's the way to go. Because they're always super pale too. I just did it because...

I mean, I grew up in San Francisco and that's just... Choices. I got needs. Right. San Fran has a lot of redheads. It has a lot of white people and and you just got to pick your petals. Interesting.

Red pubic hair? He did have red pubic hair. Both of them. One of them was redder than the other. What do you think? They're going to have brunette pubic hair? No. I dated a redhead, and she had brown pubes.

Oh, my God, Brian. I forget to think. You really think she was a natural redhead? No, she was. She really is. She just didn't have red pubic hair. Sometimes it doesn't match. You're hilarious.

I'll show you. It's on the internet. And I've hooked up with a blonde girl with brown eyebrows. I mean, she was dyeing her hair. That's part of it. This girl is definitely redhead. Clee. Yes, Tony. I need to sit down

so do you have a boyfriend now yeah you know her boyfriend oh I do you know Ed really yeah

I didn't know that we've been dating for three years we lived together how do you not know that wow I did not know that I wouldn't guess that Ed would hook up with a girl that's been with two red-headed white guys.

Ed's a pretty tough guy. Eddie in the room. Eddie, you here? No, he's downstairs. He has a spot. Okay. Fuck yeah. I really don't.

I have notes, private notes to give you. I don't know if I can say it here out loud. Why? Why would you hold back? I happen to know that Bobby's balls are kind of purplish. Dark purple. It's a dark purple. It's purple now? Shut the fuck up, please.

I thought it was black. I'm going to say it. I think that... Do you ever talk about your personal stuff? Oh, yeah. Like the medical stuff? Yeah, I talk about my strokes and stuff. She had a stroke.

Four strokes. She had four strokes, yeah. I think that's something that's real that you can talk about. I was thinking about doing that one and I just,

I went the other way. Okay, and then also the black nerd thing, I think that you, I know you, you are a nerd and so is Ed

because of the nerdiest people I know and I don't know a lot of black nerds. Yeah, I have a bit about it because this actually happened when we

first moved in together. Well, you should have done that when you were doing it so fuck you, alright? first moved in together Well you should have done that when you were doing it So fuck you But you should talk about that stuff I knew you back when you did But I like you

What does that mean you're a nerd? What does that mean to you? Well here's the thing I'm one of those people I think nerds are overused But I do think I consider myself a nerd Let me ask you a question. What's Worf's son's name? Alexander.

There we go. There you go. That's nerdy. On 10 Forward there was a black lady that runs it. What's her name? Guinan.

Yes. What actress plays her? Whoopi Goldberg. Yeah, but people don't know that. That's nerd shit. Yeah. What's the name of the Why don't you ask me

what 2 plus 2 is, Bobby? What's the name of the snow planet on Empire Strikes Back? Oh, that's easy. My name is Clee Wiggins and it's called Hoth.

Wow. Okay, the animal that died and that Luke went into the animal. A Tauntaun. Okay. That's pretty nerdy,

right? I own one. I own a Tauntaun at 12 and 10. Who directed Star Wars? Which one? Any of them.

Any of them? Irving Kirshner directed Empire Strikes Back. Boom. That's a good one. I knew you were going to go with that. Who wrote and directed Return of the Jedi? Well, Lawrence Kasdan. Kasdan, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Damn. That's nerdy shit, yeah. You have not only... That is so awesome. Dirty shit, yeah. You have not only... I have a fucking tie. I broke through this tie fighter. That is so awesome. I did that well into my 30s.

What's the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars? Wow. Wow. Good luck. Star Trek fans are called Trekkies. Star Wars fans are called virgins. I go both ways. My next tattoo is probably going to be

the Klingon Empire logo. I'm a Trekkie myself. Let's move on. Thank you, Bob. She's on Twitter at Klee the Pimp. That's K-L-E-E the Pimp. Very interesting to see

a black nerd. Yeah, but she should talk about that, though. That's the thing. I know that about her, and she, you know. I do a lot of comic book stories. I perform a lot of comic books. Okay, you're done now, Cleo, right? Comic books.

What a diverse group of people you attract, Tony, in your podcast. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Half of them, I I do believe have to get back to the asylum pretty soon. But other than that... I'm going to have to give Clee some tough love.

I'm sorry. Hey, who's talking? What the fuck? Are you being serious right now? This guy is. So you're interrupting a whole entire shoot to get an autograph. Brian, hand him the marker. Hand him the shoe. Just hurry up.

Just do it. I'm sorry. Jesus, Brian. Welcome to... You want me to sign? This is a nice shoe. I don't sign it. I got it at the thrift store.

It's the only nice thing that you're wearing. You want me to sign it? I'd sign it before he hangs himself. Where do you work? Yeah, seriously. Where do you work? Donald Trump's golf store? I work at a Fairmont in Newport Beach. Fairmont in Newport Beach. Fuck yeah. You better sign it. Where do you work? Donald Trump's golf store?

Fairmont and Newport Beach. You better sign it. Where do you want me to sign it? This is a strange, strange honor. It's going to be interesting when he's hanging from a ceiling fan. They're going to think his name's Jeff Ross. First thing they're going to do is see the shoe and be like,

oh man. Poor guy. Fuck yeah. First thing they're going to do is see the shoe and be like, oh, man. It's not hanging. Poor guy. Fuck yeah. There you go. He doesn't want mine. Oh, my God. Smells like sadness up here.

And salt and vinegar potato chips. Fuck yeah. That's a first. There you go, Brian Hippert. We have time for one more we did have two more coming up but because of Brian we only have one more now guys so just so you know that

hilarious what I wanted to say real quick before that is I had to give now we have no time left put your hands together for Jake Beckman everyone here he is, Jake Beckman. Jake Beckman, are you coming? He's blacklisted.

For three months, Bobby Lee style. That means he's done. Three month Bobby Lee blacklisting. Amir Kabiri. Amir Kabiri. Here's another name for you to give Tommy. Blacklisted Bobby. My name is Amir. I'm originally from the South.

People always ask me why I don't have a Southern accent. And I'll tell you why. It's because I'm also Middle Eastern,. People always ask me why I don't have a Southern accent, and I'll tell you why. It's because I'm also Middle Eastern, which makes it biologically impossible. I, thank you, I, Middle Eastern people have to deal with certain issues that white people don't even think about. Like for example, the other day I was driving,

I spent so much time looking for parking that I had to shave again. It just, at five o'clock shadow, for me, it's a full-on beard. Well, one thing I love about being Middle Eastern is you can scare the shit out of anybody just by staring at them. In general, ethnic guys have a mysterious quality,

I feel like. But I've learned the mysterious quality is different depending on what ethnicity you are. for example Spanish guys have a certain mysterious quality it's like you look into their eyes it's like they're saying you may not know who I am but I want to make a love to you right now Middle Eastern dudes have a different mystery it's like you look in their eye it's like they're saying you may not know who I am But I might be plotting something right now Fuck yeah How many more of those did you have?

Is that it? Is that the end of it? Well, nailed the minute Fuck yeah Bobby, were you paying any attention to that? I was watching you go through pictures on your phone. No, I'm mad about something right now. What's wrong? What happened?

Well, okay. The girl I'm seeing is attractive. White dudes on my Instagram say you don't deserve her because you're ugly. Wow. And then I have to fight them going, what, you're white because you're entitled to attractive girls? And it literally is driving me crazy. But anyway, that was a really good set though. Very good.

Why are you listening to what losers strangers are saying? I'm so sorry guys. How do they know what your girlfriend looks like? Because I have a photo on the Instagram and then they go you don't deserve it you're ugly and fat and it's like what the fuck man. They're probably just trying to make a joke.

That's funny. Don't you know internet hate? I'm fucking tired of that shit, first of all. No, I'm not going to block fucking shit. Well, that's your own problem, then. These fucking cowards on the internet, I'm fucking tired of this shit. I can't even go on IMDB because there's nine pages of fucking forums talking about how awful I am as a

human being. Anyway, I've had enough. I'll see you guys later. No, no, no, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. You did this last time, no. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. I don't want you. I'll relax. You did this last time, too. Are you all right?

You okay, Bobby? No, I'm not okay. All right. That doesn't help. We love you, Bobby. Oh, Korean guy. Fuck yeah. But for what I saw, though, can I say something, dude?

You're cute. I feel like you know how to write jokes. How long have you been doing it? Microphone. About five, six months. Oh, yeah. Right? Right.

Totally. From what I heard? Yeah. You're in great shape. How old are you? I'm 25. Baby. You're a baby.

You're a little baby. What's your best joke? My best joke probably is the joke I did last time I was on this podcast. It's about the Iranian space program and about how they sent a monkey into space. Okay. What's the joke? Do you want me to tell it? Yeah, tell the joke.

Okay. Jesus Christ, man. Just say it. Just relax. Okay, yeah. I mean, it's kind of long, but all right. You have the fucking comedic timing of a suicide bomber. Let me just get to the punchline.

We already know about the monkey in space. In Iran, we just sent a monkey into space. Not to the moon. We just sent it to space. Afterward, we had the president stand next to the monkey and make a speech on national television. As I was watching, I realized something. That wasn't the same monkey.

You can tell because it looks nothing like the original monkey. They sent a black monkey into space. He was standing next to a gray monkey. Which means either that monkey aged 40 years and three days, or it was stressed out as fuck because they put it in an Iranian spaceship. I think it did a lot better the first time. I think so, too. And then

after the monkey came back from space he went back to running the country. There you go. New addition. Iranian space program material. I like that, yeah. Maybe I'll use that tag if that's okay. The tag?

That's the whole thing. I would cut the rest of it. I'll just delete everything I wrote, and I'll take yours. I like that you're taking on challenging topics. That's great. So I give you merit for that. Thank you. Yep.

And you look great, and you're young. You're very new at this. That's so exciting. Congratulations. Thank you. Hopefully you'll come back soon. It's Amir Kabiri, everybody. Big fan of yours, and Bobby, you too. Thank you. Hopefully you'll come back soon. It's Amir Kabiri, everybody. Big fan of yours and Bobby, you too.

Of course. Bobby Lee! Okay. I have to go to the bathroom. Okay, yeah, you can go. You're going to come right back? Yeah, of course. Okay.

Come back, Bobby. I will, man. Bobby's going to go pee. I love you, man. Okay, everybody, he's coming back. Just fucking relax. Just let him go to the bathroom. Oh, my god.

Jeff, how you doing? You having fun? I am. Patriot, how are you? I'm fine. I think he needs to start smoking marijuana so he settles down. He got all upset on the Instagram. Patriot, you can't tell people that are trying to be sober that they need to smoke pot. Yeah, go pee. Fuck yeah.

We're allowed to smoke pot on this podcast? Yeah. Hilarious. fuck yeah we're allowed to smoke pot on this podcast yeah where is it hilarious oh my god what a debacle stop just relax we should probably just get on with the rest of the show right while all this is going on

well I mean they're just going pee but at the same time I guess so so great two of the biggest names we've had on is going on. Well, I mean, they're just going pee. But at the same time, I guess so. So great. Two of the biggest names we've had on. Two of the biggest unprofessionals I've ever seen. No, I'm kidding. Just kidding, guys. Fuck yeah. Well, every week we have two of the same girls go up, and please don't bother

them in the fucking restroom. These crazy maniacs that come to this show. It's so funny. Just saw some chick hounding outside the men's room. here yeah i love it whatever please everybody shut up that's in the room thank you girl in the corner shut up yes you shut up thank you i just lost control of my own show so if i seem a little disappointed it's because i I lost control of my show. You've never seen that on Carson, right? Hey, Johnny, I'm just going to get up for a moment. I have to go piss.

I know Bobby's not coming back. That's the dreadful part. He's fighting with his girl because he's mad about an internet comment. That's so ridiculous. Do you get mad with internet haters at all anymore? I don't. It just doesn't work on me anymore.

Jeff, do you let internet haters bother you? No, I don't read the haters. Exactly. They're called trolls. Thanks, 1982. Whenever I get bad emails, I forward them to Brody Stevens. Oh, that's hilarious.

Why would you do that to me? That is great. By the way, if you haven't seen the season finale of Brody's show last night, there is a hilarious part where he goes on a date with a beautiful Asian woman, quote unquote, and they edit it so perfect where they don't even mention anything

about it being maybe a guy girl. And he's like kissing her on the show and stuff. It's fucking hilarious. So every week we have two regulars that come on. Two lovely young ladies that are rising through the ranks. They do spots everywhere else as well. Every week they were both built here

and have been growing doing a new 60 Seconds every single week. And this week will be no different. So let's start with, you know her from the Kill Tony podcast, our goofy little electric goofball, the very funny Sarah Weinschenk, everybody. Here she is. I don't like the beach, and that's okay. I realize other people tricked me into thinking that I liked the beach

because they were so passionate about wanting to go to the beach. Do you want to come to the beach? I got to the beach, and I realized I don't like the beach. Have you seen the people that hang out at the beach? Not great, guys. Very whimsical. I don't like seagulls I prefer pigeons seagulls seem affluent and choosy pigeons I feel like they they went through a struggle you know I don't like a privileged bird I don't want it I

don't want to be around a bird that has to choose between eating a panini and a sandwich you know what I mean I want to be around a bird that has to choose between eating a panini and a sandwich. You know what I mean? I want to be around a bird that has to struggle to get that fry because life is hard. Yep. Don't like the beach. Do people shower there? Are you supposed to shower when you leave? Is that

a thing? I don't like barnacles. I don't like tentacles. I don't like seaweed, lifeguards, sunscreen. I don't know. It seemsguards, sunscreen. I don't know. It seems like you're trying to not laugh by the end of it all when you're just naming things. Barnacles, tentacles, seaweed.

It's like you're... What's crazy about that, the beach thing, is that the awesome visor thing from last week slides right in there. It's almost like right in the same thing, which I noticed immediately and it's like all of a sudden And I fucking hate the beach too.

Yeah, it's not great. There was something else that I thought of about the visor thing in the week and I also saw a lot of stuff, a lot of tweets on Twitter about it. I was tagged in a few of them so I'm sure you got some. And it's funny that people are into that. For those of you that don't know,

last week she did 60 seconds on how much she hates people that wear visors because it doesn't make any sense and she laid it out pretty funny. Especially bald people. That was the best part. It's almost like they... I'm still tagging visors,

but it's almost like they don't... They've never heard of sunglasses and they don't care about rain. That's so good. It's fucking great. I like that. Remember when Redbrand brought in the yarmulke into the thing? Did you put that in the joke at all? I haven't yet, Patriot. Jeff, what do you hate about the beach?

What do you think, what do you hate about the beach? What do you think, what do you got going on there? Well, I love the beach personally, but I like, I love your commitment to hating it is so funny, and you just keep going until it turns into jokes, and that was really entertaining. Yeah, we've always noticed about her that almost no matter what

she's talking about, about 20 or 30 seconds in, no matter what or if she's hit a punchline, Brian and I start laughing because we see her do this. And that's exactly what we think is funny about her, is that she's so passionate about the little interesting things, barnacles, tentacles, and seaweed. It's like what, 20 seconds in? If you go back to every episode, there's a part 20 seconds in where we're both

chuckling like little kids. Then you lost and you got us. Then you actually hit punchlines. I really want to see a full set of yours. I've never seen a 10 minute, 15 minute set of yours. I just can't even imagine how you take

all these jokes where you go from beginning, get angry and angry and angrier. Then do you just kind these jokes where you go from beginning, get angry and angry and angrier, then do you just kind of reset your palette of angriness and keep on going? Or when you're in it, you're probably in it all the way. Then they probably believe you. End of the show, do you have clothes on? Are you just screaming and hitting people in the head?

What do you mean by getting so angry at you? Oh. 15 minutes. I feel like I break it into categories of things that I'm passionate about that lead into other things that I'm passionate about. Right. Maybe I'll have to reset. Things you hate and things you love. But no matter what, that passion is pretty much your comedic voice.

I say after every rant, you take out a little asthma inhaler, breathe, sit down for a second, take a sip of your drink and look out in the distance. Actually, there is something there with your style that if you did something each time you changed topic, it seems like it would just be applause break worthy in a bigger set. Like we're saying, in a bigger set, 5, 10, whatever, longer minutes. But yeah, that's actually really funny. Something to break it up.

Something that the fans could like. And then you could sell little fake inhalers. Like wine shank. Yeah. Wine shank. Or real wine shank. Or whatever. Nitrous cartridge. There you go. There she goes.

It's Sarah Wine Shank. You should watch some old Gilbert Godfrey. I know this sounds crazy, but you should watch some Gilbert Godfrey from back in the day and see how he goes on and on and on and on. Very, you know, commitment. Yeah. Good call on that.

He really does. Yeah, I watched some, but I'll revisit. Follow her on Twitter at Princess Shank. That's three S's in that in a row. S-H-E-N-K is how that ends. Always funny.

Always great. Always exciting. And so is your, our final comedian of the night. She's been a regular here. That's it? It went so fast. By the way, that song that we brought Sarah up

was called Screwing You at the Beach by the Bloodhound Gang. I had no idea that you were talking about that. Beach song, beach topic. Tony just flew by. I know. This is our final comedian. She dropped out of college this year

after having her first comedic spot here on this stage during Kill Tony. Here she is. It's Kimberly Congdon, everybody. You've had a lot of dick. Just bring it up. I've had a lot of time. Had a lot of time.

You've had a lot of dick, JC. But you ain't had mine. Hey. Hi. So, guys, I want to talk about some things that are bothering me lately. I've got, I don't know, things have been getting on my nerves. Like, uh, people that get in elevators and push the door close button. It doesn't fucking work.

I don't get it. I've never seen someone push it and the door fucking closes. It doesn't happen. You know what button closes the door just as fast as the door close button? Every other fucking button. All of them. Same time. And, like, people that say, uh, I'm a tough cookie. I've never met a cookie whose ass I couldn't kick.

Never. They should say, like, I don't know. Never. They should say like, I don't know, tough pussy, because those things birth humans. Right? Pageant moms. They look like they smell like sneeze. Not into it.

Not into it. And like, honestly, the only person that likes a pageant is a child molester I mean they're interesting rapists are weird because they fuck

ugly people kids are cute you know and like you want to finish it real quick I was going to say rapists come out

of nowhere and come out of nowhere and then talk about how like maybe that's how janitors are made because rapists

are like ooh I want to get in there. And someone's like, no, you can't. And so it's like when you're applying for college. Yeah. Okay. You know, it was a whole bunch of stuff. That was a good set.

Yeah, totally. What was the first one about? Elevator, the door close button. It does work. Yeah, that's true. That is really true. Controversial. I was literally thinking about that

this weekend. About how that doesn't work. Because at the hotel that we were at, it really wasn't working. You're going to upset a lot of people with that kind of material. Which one? Elevator button. The door close button. That's pretty out there. By the way, here's a tip. If you're ever staying at a hotel,

go in your elevator. There's a name of the elevator. You can go online and there's cheat codes for all the floors. There's buttons you can push and hold down at the same time, and it does almost anything you want. Especially in Vegas, it will just skip floors for you. So if you have a lot of people in your elevator, go right to your floor. It was very, very funny. Thank you.

Very, very funny. Want a french fry? No, I'm good. You've been going up? You've been doing a lot of spots during the week? Very good. We're running out of time. So there you go.

Kimberly Congdon. Kimberly Congdon on Twitter. So many first timers here. I think it was what, two tonight? That's so exciting. You mean first time on stage ever. That was great. There's a little emotion to your show.

Heck yeah. Very exciting. So you guys watched the birth of a couple comedians, or maybe just a... Abortion. Yeah. There was one, literally a miscarriage at one point. And also, two shoes got autographed. History made. Bobby Lee fucking left ten minutes ago. Yeah.

Tony, I don't know if you remember, but he left on Kill Tony 9 pretty awesome. He left on Kill Tony 9 too. He left early to Koreatown. Really awesome. Do you remember that? Yeah, I just love it. Anyway, thanks for reminding me about that, Patriot. You're at RealJeffreyRoss on Twitter. Anything coming up that you want to promote?

Live shows or anything that you got booked? Follow me at RoastmasterGeneral.com. My schedule is posted. Got a lot of tour dates coming up. February, March, April. Get ready, Toronto. Kiltony's coming to you. We're not going to announce the date yet, but we are coming.

So Patriot's coming with us and we're going to see what else we could do. Maybe the girls can come. We're going to try to figure out the budget, see what's going on. We'll figure everything out, but I'm very excited about that. And thank you all so much for coming out, everybody the budget, see what's going on. We'll figure everything out. But I'm very excited about that. And thank you all so much for coming out, everybody. Congratulations, Missy Martinez, on your first spot.

Shout out to Kai, one of my favorite artists in the world. Follow him. Kai Aarons, K-I-I-A-R-E-N-S. He is one of the truly, I'm not just kidding, he's one of the most amazing artists anywhere. Also, he made that awesome Buddy Hackett jacket the Hackett jacket that you got me seeing on the

Christmas episode amazing artist Tony how about a hand for your host Tony everybody thank you the Iron Patriot Brian Redband

thank you thanks for having me thanks thank you guys good night stick around stick around for the Ding Dong Show. you you