KILL TONY - KILL TONY #362 - APPLETON

Episode Date: June 19, 2019

Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 06/11/2019 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, deathsquad.tv. There you have every past episode of Kill Tony, including video portions to the shows. And if you click on tour dates, you can come see us live. Not only are we at the world famous comedy store every Monday, but we are on the road. July 10th will be in Plano, Texas at the Hyenas.

July 11th, Fort Worth, Texas. July 25th will be in Philadelphia at the Fillmore Theater. And July 26th will be in Pittsburgh. Go to DeathSquad.tv and click on Tour Dates. Tony Hinchcliffe has his own website, TonyHinchcliffe.com. Check out that for everything Golden Pony, TonyHinchcliffe.com.

Ryan J. Ebelt, the house artist. He draws every episode. He makes posters. He made the book. Go to RyanJEbelt.com. And last but not least, shopsquad.tv, the official merchandise of the Death Squad universe and Kill Tony. Check out Kill Tony t-shirts, Death Squad hats and mugs. Go to shopsquad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hitchcliff. Appleton, Wisconsin.

I don't know why, but we're here. Make some fucking noise. Wow. How exciting is this? Brian Redband's here, everybody. Hey. Oh my goodness. A fucking Appleton, everybody. Hey. Oh, my goodness. A fucking Appleton, Wisconsin. Do you believe in miracles, ladies and gentlemen?

I mean, wow. On a Tuesday, sold out. There's at least 35 people in this room right now, yet it's packed to the gills. We have two little apple-sized tables. Look at these cute little tables we got here. I love it. I love it. This is great. We turned down doing a show

in Menasha for this, so I'm really excited that you guys can be here. This is fun. Clearly, we are on the start of yet another leg of this crazy tour that we're on. We are in Appleton, Wisconsin.

Tomorrow, we go to Milwaukee. Milwaukee. If you know anybody in Milwaukee or you have any friends over there, tell them to go to Keltoni because we're not doing well in Milwaukee. It's the only place that zero people. Let's put it this way.

Out of all the shows we've ever done everywhere in the world, we've never done worse on ticket sales than we're doing in Milwaukee. Chicago's basically sold out. That's a giant, cool, awesome venue. Thalia Hall, then Madison, same. Minneapolis is sold out. Go back to the Comedy Store every Monday.

This Monday coming up, one could say it's our six-year anniversary, and it is with guest Brian Holtzman, Comedy Store legend, icon, monster. This is going to be fun. Brian Holtzman, comedy store legend, icon, monster. This is going to be fun. Brian Holtzman, it's amazing. One of the edgiest fucking wildest comedians out there. June 19th, Poughkeepsie, New York. And two shows the next day, New York, New York at the Gramercy Theater.

Still tickets available for the second show. But that first giant show is sold out. And then we do Skank Fest throughout that weekend. And it's really exciting. We are doing a massive show that we just announced yesterday, July 25th, at the Fillmore in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Tickets go on sale this Thursday, June 13th at 10 a.m. If you use the Live Nation code GROOVE on the Live Nation feed. Yeah, you can use GROOVE or you can use KT2019.

I don't know why they would make that the promo code. KT2019 for those of you that are interested in using passwords for... Anyway, you can go on sale to the public the next day, this Friday, June 14th. That's for the Fillmore in Philly, our biggest, probably our biggest show ever. That's going to be 2,600 people, which is about 2,600 more people than we're going to have

in Milwaukee tomorrow. I don't know if I've mentioned, but we are in big trouble here. No, I'm kidding. It's not that bad. But I think we're doing a little bit too big of a venue. Oh, yeah. We're doing a giant place. Milwaukee.

We're doing a soccer stadium in Milwaukee, and we only have so many tickets. Why Milwaukee? But enough about them. We are here tonight, right? This is it. This is what it's about. A night like this.

A Tuesday. Clearly for you guys. A work week. This is real America. You guys all have to wake up at the crow of a rooster tomorrow, milk cows, pull cheese curds out of between their toes, or however that happens, however you make those magic cheese curds.

But let's get this thing started. So however that happens, however you make those magic cheese curds. But let's get this thing started. As always, we have no guests on these road shows. But, you know, what's cool is that we do have a band. And as you know, if you listen to a lot of the road shows, you know that due to stage constraints, sometimes we can't have, you know, a full band, to say

the least. So tonight, instead, you're going to have the best band in the land. It is the Kill Tony band. It is Jeremiah Watkins and Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez. Every single episode, they do different characters.

I never know what they're going to be. They stay in character. Sometimes it's a brand new character. Sometimes it's a character that we've never seen before. Let's see what they are tonight. Look at this. Oh, wow. Look at this classy motherfucker.

Come on, Appleton. You got to make more noise than that. Small and mighty. Oh, my. I mean, European Taurus, perhaps? I mean, I'm not positive on this one, to be honest with you. Can you help me out? Nice to meet you. Welcome to Kill Tony. Who are you? Oh, hi. I'm Gustav.

Oh, we know Gustav. It's been a long time since we've seen each other. Yeah, I've been traveling abroad. Now, you are. Are you German-Swedish? Yes, I'm German. Now you are, are you German-Swedish? Yes, I'm German Wow, that is so cool This clearly is, wow, I mean, I have no idea how you two could be friends What's your name?

Ricky Ricardo Wow, really? Yeah, no relation I'm Cuban, we're foreign exchange students. How did you two meet each other? In college. Crazy times. All right.

Gustav and Ricky. This is exciting. Gustav's been on this show before, right? And Ricky, first time? I've been here before, too. Oh, okay. Well, good to see you again. A lot of cigars being spat

This cigar is six years old Wow You should change your name to Michael Jackson And putting that thing in your mouth I didn't say I liked it This is a small stage We're all up here tight tonight Cool fucking room

I like this venue We're at the Skyline Comedy Club For the first time in our lives. Perhaps so. Very easily the last time in our lives as well, but no, I'm kidding. This place is great. I can only hope and dream to have the type of career to have to perform here

for the rest of my life. No, I'm kidding, guys. I'm kidding. I want to come back here. Put that horse away. Oh, this is exciting. So we have Gustav, Ricky, we got Brian Redband here, which leaves me

to this, the Bucket of Destiny, everybody. The Summer Tour 2019 Bucket of Destiny with the Kill Tony logo drawn by Ryan J. E. Belt, which reminds me, Ryan J. E. Belt, of course, could not be here tonight. However, he did send along with us amazing road posters that we're going to be selling after the show, signing for you. We

also are debuting. You're actually the first place ever. Even the Comedy Store didn't get the opportunity to sell any of these yet. You're the first ever stop on the tour that gets a chance at Kill Tony pins, which are awesome. And Death Squad pins Brian has, and the new Reagan and Watkins album, perhaps? A bunch of exciting stuff.

We'll see you after the show. But anyway. I'm also selling my instructional DVD, Becoming Pro you after the show. But anyway. I'm also selling my instructional DVD Becoming Pro after the show. I have this bucket of destiny. A bunch of people signed up earlier for the chance to get on this stage and perhaps perform 60 seconds

of stand-up comedy. You know your time is up, Appleton, when you hear the sound of a kitten. It's so quiet. I could barely hear that thing. There you go. So why not just have it that loud the whole time during the show instead of everything so quiet in this live show that people came out to see? All right.

I guess I get it. So wrap it up then or else you're going to bring out the angry rascals bear. There you go. Okay. There you go. Okay. There you go. Rascals wasn't the reference? Is that not the gayest part of Appleton? I heard there was no pop on that.

I heard no laughter whatsoever. Gustav? It sounds like they don't talk about the gay population here. I guess not, huh? Don't ask, don't touch. One of the staff members told me, you shook your head no, lady. What would be the right reference, do you think?

What do you think the gayest part of Appleton is? Other than wherever the guy that you're next to is. Hey, Tony. I like his vest. It is. Somehow he looks more like a European traveler than you do. You do. Stand up and take a bow.

Wow. Look at these two. Long lost brothers. All right. So if I pull your name out of the bucket, you know what it is. The stairway is over here. You do your 60 seconds, and then we talk to you about anything in the world. We find out more about you and how long you've been stuck in Wisconsin.

Low turnout on the names, by the way, this episode. Really interesting. Very small turnout. I think only 16 or 17 people signed up. It's a Milwaukee of bucket of names. Anyway, so let's

do it. You guys ready to start the fucking show or what? You guys really excited about this? Is it okay? I mean, we flew in from Los Angeles for this. We could have gone straight to Milwaukee and just had you drive an extra 45 minutes. But instead, we came to you.

Your first comedian going up tonight could be their first time, could be their local comedy, but the point is you're not allowed to heckle during their 60 seconds.

Give them that. Put your hands together for Jonah Timothy Dorso. Or DeBay, perhaps Dorsey. Jonah Timothy Dorsey. Is this you? Heck yeah.

Come on through here, buddy. Come on, guys. Make some noise. Yeah. It's happening. It has begun. Jonah Timothy Dorsey. Hello.

Thank you. Okay. So I'm biracial. I'm half black, half white. But I look like a Mexican lesbian transitioning. And I'm 39. I have six children. I have six children After my sixth child was born I got a

Kind of a random call From an NBA scout They were like We like the numbers you're putting up We're gonna We're gonna need We're gonna need, uh... We're gonna need, you know, a little bit more from you, but I don't even play basketball.

So, uh, I've been paying child support for most of my adult life. Um... The thing about child support is it can only affect you negatively if you don't pay child support. When you do pay child support on time It does not affect your credit positively

So let me drop some knowledge and all you young guns out there trying to get your child support paid You want to game the system? Pay with the credit card card. Alright. Alright. Wow. Things like they like you. I love it. Hello. How are you? Welcome to the show. Thank you. How's it going? First time doing stand up?

Yes. Really? Pretty much. What do you mean pretty much? You do karaoke a lot and you talk a stand-up? Yes. Really? Pretty much. What do you mean, pretty much? You do karaoke a lot, and you talk a lot right before your songs. You ever run any of those before you fucking get down? Are you Eddie Bravo? I mean, it's very bizarre. You look like a combination of ten of my favorite fighters. So I'm sort of afraid to make fun of you at all.

He looks like a combination of my ten favorite races. You look like Bruno Tard's... What? Nothing. Wow. You definitely look like Eddie Bravo. It's freakish. Do you know who Eddie Bravo is?

Of course, yes. Thank you. Oh, my God. Wow. All right. Very good. Do you know who Eddie Bravo is? Of course, yes. Thank you. Oh, my God. Wow. All right. Very good. Do you know any jujitsu or anything?

You have fighter head. You have, like, that padding. You have the padding above your eyebrows where your eyebrows come out in case you get, like, punched and shit. A little bit. Yeah, a little bit. Like what? How many people have you killed with your bare hands? The way he said a little bit tells me he's a fucking assassin and he just wanted to come out

and get some laughs and now his cover's being blown. Are you a professional hitman? Okay, no. Don't answer that. Tony. Jonah, talk with me. So give us something here. What are you? Half black, half

white. Do you really have six kids? Yes, Tony. How old are they? How old are they? My oldest son is 20. How old are you? 39. 29. 20? And then what? What's the range? Six kids. What's your youngest? My youngest is

six months. Oh my god. You just keep coming inside of everything that you see. Oh my God. You just keep coming inside of everything that you see, huh? Yeah, Ricky. Are they all with the same mom? Hell no. No, Ricky. I knew it.

I just wanted him to answer. Wow. How many different moms amongst the six kids? Three. Six. Oh my God. Is it really three? Who is it? Guys. Who said kids? Three. Six. Oh my god. Is it really three? Who is it?

Who said three? Me, motherfucker. Me. Stick with me over here. Even if you hear other people say things, you just fucking focus on me. I have so much I want to talk with you about. So three moms. Is it two kids each? Yes. Wow. Look at you. What the fuck? Who the hell's that lady

yelling over here? It's his loud wife. Is that the... That must be number three, huh? Wow. And she already got her too. If I were her, I'd be running for the hills right now. Just fucking looking for someone to fucking cover me.

She's videotaping this, by the way. It's adorable. I can't wait for you to show your kids this one, eh? This is daddy. This is who he is. What do you mean he has other kids? Who are they? What are they? What are your twins' names?

Uh-oh and another accident? Whoopsie and Daisy? Is that your thing? Have you ever pulled out of anything? Even your hands in your pocket, right? Oh, God. Here we go again with the hand pocket thing. Just like Kansas, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly. You've been keeping up. So, interesting. What's the... Do you pull out ever? I'm gonna stay on this subject. I find it very intriguing, the fact that you just, like, every... No matter how many times you make babies, you're just

like, I should fucking pull out. But I'm not, you fucking... Yes, I'm gonna go to Gustav. Yeah, even when he masturbates. He doesn't pull out. It's like the ending scene of Titanic.

He's like, I'll never let go. Yeah, he just keeps that hand right at the top and just fills his hand up with goo. It's like an eighth grade science experiment with a volcano oozing. He just... Oh, my god. Wow.

That is incredible. So do you ever pull out or is it just you just have a thing for just finishing like that, like a fucking like a goddamn animal? Yes, I pull out. So, for example,

when you pull out, which we know isn't that often, but when you do, is there something that you like to come on or in? Inside of a vagina. Right. How do you pull it out in another vagina?

One of the other two. On the belly button. I don't know. Belly button? Of course. It has to be something that sort of resembles a pussy in a weird way. Just like, oh, there's a bodily hole.

You're going to find out all the girls that he has come in have pierced belly buttons and it just goes in their belly and makes babies, right? Wait, what? Oh, yeah. Through the pierced hole. It makes tons of sense. Do you think piercings are an open wound or something?

Yeah, it mixes in there. It gets in there. Good God, Brian. Red band. We have strong sperm. They'll dig holes. Okay, okay, okay. What are we doing?

Okay, so, Jonah, what the hell? So you're with that one right now. She yelled that he has two by the way for those of you paying attention right but so the other four are out there are they all in Appleton yes

well the surrounding areas how often do you get to see them often or not that often pretty often they're older now how often do you visit the jail that they're in but you were around sometimes right let me ask you this you're 50% black 50% white so does that mean you only feel

bad for not raising your kids well half the time does that mean your dick is only half as big as it could have been Joelberg is here everybody I mean, your dick is only half as big as it could have been. Joelberg is here, everybody. It's scary when he doesn't respond for a while. Yeah.

I feel like he's going to get his revenge on me later in the parking lot. He's like, ah, you think I come inside too many things, Tony? Bend over, bitch. I'm a fucking jujitsu black belt, you idiot. Wow. Jonah, what do you do for work? I'm a boring machinist guy like a lot of other inspector at a machine shop, like a lot of

other guys you've talked to. No, we know you're a baby-making machine, so we know that you have history with machines. How long have you been doing that for, machinists. 15 years. Wow, 15 years. Interesting stuff.

Man, that's so fun. And stand-up, you said this is your first time. I never got a real answer out of you, out of what you meant by that, when you said sort of. I did a podcast. I was inspired by you, but, you know, Wisconsin type of thing. And a bunch of friends of mine who are here also with my brother are back there. We did the Wisconsin Cheesecast.

We put together a show at Cranky Pat's Pizza and Nina one time thing and I got up in front of just them and the bartender one time before. That's fucking awesome, dude. I love that. That's exactly how when people say, how do I get on shows?

How do I fucking start? Go to open mics and do exactly that. That's exactly how when people say, how do I get on shows? How do I fucking start? You know, like go to open mics and do exactly that. Go to a fucking, what's different than this and a fucking pizza shop? Yeah, yeah. The lights are off. There's some lights on us. There's fucking sound. Go start a goddamn show.

Yeah, one of the biggest tips, if you're somewhere that doesn't have comedy shows, go to one of these bars that you know are dead on a Tuesday night and go, hey, can I put up a microphone and a speaker? You'll get more business. You can make your own shows. That's how you make your own mics. It's one of the best tips ever. 100%. And that's what fucking we did

six years ago. We took Mondays where a corpse at the comedy store. Those other rooms sat dark and it inspired, you know, roast battle started a few months after that in the same room, everything. I mean, it's just, and that goes, even you, Appleton, you could have your own show. Wow. The comedy club here is like, shut up.

I know. I make fun of everything, if you haven't noticed. I do it in all the other cities, too, if you're worried, Appleton. The staff's sort of looking at me like, is he being serious if you haven't noticed. I do it in all the other cities too if you're worried. The staff's sort of looking at me like, is he being serious? So Jonah, I'll tell you this, man. We spent a lot of time with you because you're an interesting fucking dude. Keep fucking doing it, man. It seems like something you love to do.

One thing that I didn't like, I'll say this, is that it felt like you wrote a set for Kill Tony. It felt like you tried to make the jokes that you thought we were gonna make right from the beginning when you said, you know, whatever. I can't even remember what it was, but it felt like you were just making fun of yourself off of what that rhythm sort of

sounds like. Well, I was waiting for you guys to tear me apart like real bad. No, we wanted to know about these fucking six kids. And you look so much like Eddie Bravo. We don't want to get you mad at all. But no, we gave you a

verse of encouragement at the end and we built you up, buttercup. There you go. Jonah Timothy Dorsey, ladies and gentlemen, live kicking off Kill Tony in Appleton, Wisconsin. That's right.

Tony. I, uh... I don't know if you saw that guy halfway through the audience that's just lit up for no reason. There's like a spotlight on him, but... On one guy there? I'm pretty sure that's the bad guy

from Superman 4. Yes, that's the bad guy from Superman 4 music that I know so well. Frozen Italian guy. What is that fucking light? That is crazy. I feel like it's not even at the venue. It's just him. It just follows him everywhere. What the hell?

He's the mayor's son or something like that. I think he was, that's who was in the trunk in Pulp Fiction. Remember it glowed when they all, okay, bye. All right. Unlike the last comedian, I pulled out a name out of the bucket. And we're going to keep it moving along. Your next comedian goes by the name of Koti Kropidlausik perhaps.

Something like that. I see movement. Koti Kropidlausik. Kropidlausik. Here we go. Hey. Take my breath away. Hey. Put your hands together for Cody, everybody.

All right. Thank you, guys. So I'm really terrible at relationships. Like my ex-girlfriend wanted a monogamous relationship, and I kept telling her to make me sandwiches. Turns out I was too stupid to know the difference between misogyny and monogamous relationship, and I kept telling her to make me sandwiches. Turns out I was too stupid to know the difference between misogyny and monogamy. In my defense, though, I really only wanted her to make me cheese sandwiches. All right, the one was real good. All right, cool. If you believe in God, then you believe that everything happens for a reason.

I'm a perfect example. I almost drowned twice. I flipped my four-wheeler like six times. And I once T-boned a pickup truck going full speed on my dirt bike. Like, if God's keeping me here for a reason, it's like you keep that friend on Facebook. Like, everyone loves a shit show. You know? It's like you keep that friend on Facebook.

Like, everyone loves a shit show. You know? Like, God's sitting up in heaven with a bowl of popcorn, saying, like, oh, my God, what's he gonna do next? Oh, he failed to get in the military. And I did. I wanted to join the Army, but I'm more of, like, a G.I. Joe Pesci.

And I told my gay friend that I wanted to join the Navy. Wow. Hi, Cody. Hey, man. What's your last name? How do I say that? Kropotlowski. Kropotlowski. My God. Oh, man. What's your last name? How do I say that? Kropidlowski. Kropidlowski.

Yeah. My God. Oh, a fellow communist. And Cody is spelled C-O-T-Y. It is. Your parents hippies? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.

A little bit? Yeah. Mom's a hippie? Dad. Dad's a pot smoker. Yeah? What does he do? Works in a mill.

What do you do? I bartend and I do comedy. Bartend and comedy. How long have you been doing stand-up for? Like just over a year. Actually, it was my year about five days ago. How old are you? 27.

27 years old. Born and raised here in Wisconsin? Yeah. Yeah. Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Neither. Very unlo here in Wisconsin? Yeah. Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Neither. Very unlovable. Really? Last relationship. How long ago was that? Ever?

Few months. Few months ago. How long did that last? Few weeks. Why do you think it is that you can't find love as a plate? Super, you know, don't know, actually.

Don't know. Why did you say that you were unlovable? We all got very sad when you said that. What's unlovable about you? Why are you so unlovable about you? I mean, like, you know, I can't hold down a girlfriend, so it just makes me sad. But you wear fun t-shirts.

I do wear fun t-shirts. I mean, let's figure this out. What's your living situation? Right now, I live with my parents. You live with your parents. Okay, bingo. Bingo, bingo, bingo. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

I mean... We found a problem, loser. Exactly. You can't take a girl home to your parents' house. She'll end up smoking weed and then fucking your dad. That's what happens. He's the cool one out of the two of you. Hey, what's up, babe?

I work in mills. You here for my gay son, Cody, or what? You can't tell your girlfriend to go make you a sandwich when your mom is already making you a sandwich. Wow. That is perfect. That was good. My God.

So you lived with your parents your whole life? No. Really? Oh, man, that's a sad return. How you lived with your parents your whole life? No. Really? Oh, man, that's a sad return. Yeah. How long were you out of the house for? Years, you know. Years?

Yeah. I don't know. How many years? You're 27. Are we talking nine years? Six years. Did you crash and burn? Is that why you went back home?

Kind of, yeah. Actually, I moved to Chicago. Like, crashed. You're talking about his diet, right? Wait, I don't think I said that right. Go ahead. I moved to Chicago to try to pursue comedy. I fucked up and spent way too much money way too quick.

On deep dish? I had to move back. Yeah. Just pizza the whole time. Yeah. No, I mean, I tried deep dish once. It was fucking awful. Just crusted lasagna.

Just sauce and bread. Wow, I'm a foreigner, and that was a very dumb thing to say. So, how recently did you move back in with your parents? January. January, so that's interesting. Has anything changed? Did you notice a difference this time moving back in than it was six years ago

when you lived there? Or however long ago it was. No. Same thing? Bedroom was still the same? They kept it just the way it was because they knew you had no fucking chance in Chicago, right? No. Actually, I guess the difference is that I have a bedroom now because now my uncle's dead.

Whoa. Okay, so since you're living at home with your folks, was it like a bittersweet death or were you like, finally, my uncle died? I get the bedroom that I've always wanted. Like it was originally my bedroom. Let me ask you this. Actually, go ahead. I'll get to it. It was originally your bedroom and what?

Yeah. And then he had to move in, told me it'd be like six months. And then it was like all of high school. Okay. How long ago did your uncle die? Like three years ago. So you gave it about one year to get the fucking ghost out. Fucking right, yeah.

And then you cashed in immediately. Yeah. I mean, his ghost still might be there. Who knows? Right. His body might still be there by how often your family moves out of the house. Wow, that's incredible. So what do you do for fun, man?

You seem like a fucking silly dude. It seems like you have two beanbags for some reason. Like two beanbag chairs? Or like hacky sack little things? Dude, you know what the fuck kind of beanbags I'm talking about. I mean, I just fucking do comedy. That's it. I just like work and then write. Oh just fucking do comedy. That's it.

I just work and then write. Oh, that's it, huh? Yeah. You work and then you write. All right. Oh, I mean, where do you write? Do you have an interesting writing process? It's typically after work, I'll have a few beers and just sit with my notebook at the bar.

So you're that guy? Yeah. I've always wondered who that guy is that you see sitting at the bar. It's right here, baby. Writing. I love it. Do you ever put a cup on your wall and listen to your parents fuck? Good question.

Good question, Red Band. There's a big pause happening here, by the way. And it's the type of pause that tells me, I don't think he needs a cup. I don't know. Your mom loud, huh? Funny, funny story. I did recently bring a girl home to sleep with.

And my dad happened to be in the basement. And my dad knows... In states like this, the basement's always the cool area to hang out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the man cave bullshit. I was in Jeremiah's basement in Kansas. Just having fun.

Fucking kicking it. So took a girl home, hooked up with her, and my dad knows that I have a fleshlight. Oh, wow. And in the morning, he asked me, he's like, hey, did you bring someone home last night? I was like, yeah. He's like, oh, thank God.

I heard your bed and instantly thought that he's just fucking the hell out of his fleshlight. Oh, God. Who fucks their fleshlight in the missionary position? Yeah, yeah. I mean, you can put a pillow down and really. Yeah, I don't know. Who would do such a thing? Have you done that before? You put a pillow over the flashlight well geez now that we've gone that far let me ask you more have you ever drawn a little smiley face on construction paper and

put that down or perhaps blown up like rubber gloves and then like oh hold my hand while i fuck you how how far how far do you go into this imaginative I'm fucking a real thing? Do you ever put a fucking recording of a girl's voice and lay it under the other pillow? Like, oh, yeah, say my name. Like, oh, Cody. It's like Siri. Oh, Cody Kropotkowski. So fucking good.

Fuck me. Fuck me and my filled rubber hands. No, I haven't. Wow. You ever put lipstick on it and just try to talk to it? A fun fact, the last comedian, I know for a fact,

actually has had sex with a fleshlight and got it pregnant somehow. It's unbelievable. It's the only known case of that. There was two little, one morning it woke up with two little flashlights.

Two little fuck candles. All right. Well, Cody, you know, you're fucking, you're in the game, dude. Congratulations on getting pulled tonight. Nice to meet you. Way to keep it fucking going. Good luck with everything, dude. Get out of your parents' house.

Save some fucking money. Get out of your parents' house. Save some fucking money. Get out of your parents' house, Cody. You know, if you wanted to just focus on comedy, living with your parents wouldn't be that bad of a deal. You know, just for a place to sleep. Welcome to my life. Oh, yeah, that's right. A place to sleep.

You know, a place to just slowly die. You know what I mean? Well, I mean, if you want to just do comedy and fuck. I guess so. I think, I honestly think a better way to get good at comedy fast would be to sleep in the backseat of

a fucking car and survive and have to fucking write jokes until you're fucking not in the goddamn car anymore. You end up living with your fucking parents having goddamn mayonnaise and fucking bologna sandwiches every day. The fuck do you have to work for? Oh, mom, is the coffee on?

Awesome. Everything's fucking ready for me. You'll want to get out of that as soon as possible. I mean, look at the types of jokes that fucking guy wrote. What the hell are we talking about here? Anyway. Pulled another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Dale Bishop,

everyone. Here we come. Come on. Here he comes. He's a good man. Dale Bishop. One more time for Dale, everybody. So one time last week, I was filling gas up in Green Bay,

and some guy yelled, hey, Mohammed. And I looked around to my left and my right, and then I looked down, and I'm like, oh, shit, that's right, the beard. So some people just get fixated on the beard. I know it's 2019. A lot of people have beards, but I guess it's the only interesting thing about me. So sometimes I get asked, you know, does the carpet match the drapes? And I'm like, well, if you're asking if I have a big bush and a nice, clean, cut head,

then, well, yes, I do, or they do. So, yeah, and some people say, you know, that a big bush in 2019 is a blowjob killer. Well, it's kind of been blowjob deterrent for a while, I believe. But another thing that's a blowjob deterrent is a stinky dick. And do I look like the type of guy that showers to you? I mean, tie-dye, bushy beard? Oh, I do shower, ladies. And gentlemen, if you're interested. But yeah, so...

Thank you for the timing. What? I said thanks for the timing with the kitty cat. Got it. Dale Bishop, everybody. Dale Bishop. Man, you are an interesting-looking fucking character. Cheers, bro.

I mean, I don't know whether you're fucking tough or like chill or what. Tony, hybrid. Very scary face. A lot of tie-dye though, so I can't tell whether you're just a fucking... I didn't know the Nazis had a hippie department. Nine.

Vierniks haben das. You're a scary looking guy. What do you do, Dale? Well, currently I wash windows. You're the window looking guy. What do you do, Dale? Currently, I wash windows. You're the window washer. I used to do that. I have a shit ton of student debt. I used to be a window washer. Scary as fuck. Do you do tall places?

Yeah, thankfully from the ground with a long ass extendable broom, but I did fall off a roof two months ago. That was fun. Didn't even take a day off. Cheers. Look at you that's incredible what uh what kind of student debt are we talking about what were you studying oh i started out computer science and business administration and then four credits short of

the computer science degree pussied out anxiety attacks and just stuck with the business because that was easy and then you got your master's in window washing. No, then I had an epiphany that I hated business and capitalism so I went to school for English to be an ESL teacher because I thought that would be cool. So I went back to school to be an English major, dude. English major, dude.

And then you smoke a lot of pot, right? No, I just like tie-dye. Really? Are you serious? I'm dead serious. That's a good one, by the way. You don't fucking scare me. I made it in high school myself, chemistry class.

Oh, nice. So you don't smoke pot? Nope. But you do wear tie-dye. Yeah. You're a goddamn anomaly. I wear SpongeBob, Patrick, Krabby Patties in space with T-Rex hats, too. Wow, that's incredible.

Mind-blowing. So what do you do for fun? Play video games, watch you guys on YouTube, watch comedy on YouTube. And, you know, hang out with little kids and stuff, you know? We have the same passions, you know, tie-dye, video games, candy, second grade. Oh, I don't like candy.

I mean, his last name is Bishop. This could be maybe he knows more than he's telling us. Do you have like a... Are you dating anybody at the moment? No, I'm currently single. Didn't you hear the bush, the blowjob turn thing? Oh yeah, I heard it. What were you saying about...

What were you saying about stanky dick? You got my attention and you lost me at the same time. It was kind of a joke that I appear to not have good hygiene and to draw attention away from the fact that I have a giant bush. So, yeah, I don't know. It's my first time behind the mic, so I'm just spitballing trying. It is your first time doing stand-up. How about a hand for that, everybody?

Dale Bishop. Wait, wait, wait. Get up here. Get up here. You're not fucking done yet. I mean, apologies. You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you? No, not really.

Are you wearing your class ring or what is that? No, this is conference championships for college football. Oh, where did you play? St. Norbert College. What's it called? St. Norbert College. Oh, I didn't realize they gave Division VII rings out. Jesus Christ.

Hey, I played against a quarterback currently on the New York Giants. Eli Manning? No, his backup. Alex Tanney. That's your great white hope is a backup? No, no, no, no, no. Who's the backup? Alex Tanney. Oh, okay. Yeah, no one's ever heard of him. no, no, no, no. Who's the backup? Alex Tanney.

Oh, okay. Yeah, no one's ever heard of him. Right, right, right, right. You look like if Game of Thrones took place during Woodstock. Hey, look at that. What are you, guarding the Wonderwall? What was the mascot for the team that you played football for? The Green Knights. The Green Knights.

The Green Knights. Yeah. Yikes. Yeah, it was, dude. So what's some interesting stuff about you? What would we be surprised to know, you big, gentle, giant you? I went to Australia, studied abroad there for six months. That was really freaking fun.

Yeah? What was your favorite part of Australia? I skydived, I believe it was 18,000 feet, 60-second free fall before the chute opened. I was wearing a Bob Marley shirt that said, I'm so high I can touch the sky. I thought it was pretty cool. But it's so funny because you don't even get high.

No, I don't. You do all this stuff that stoners do. Yep, I don't smoke. Yet you don't smoke pot. He's like, I don't get high. I get literal. I go skydiving. All right. I hit an empty bong.

There's nothing in it. Have you ever tried weed or shrooms or anything like that? Or you just, it doesn't, you don't like it? Oh, I tried mushrooms in Bali because they were legal. I don't believe it. So it's about following the law to you? You're very strict on yourself When it comes to following the law Why do you think that is?

Jail sucks Have you been to jail? I've been handcuffed once For what? Wisconsin, so DUI, duh And there was that much trauma? Ironically, DUI is how you spell duh in some languages.

DUI, duh. So you got handcuffed once from a DUI and there was that much trauma attached to the handcuffings that you're like, never again. Yeah. I will never ever, ever touch anything again because the law says so.

Yep. Yep. Wow. I will culturally appropriate being a stoner and devoting my life to another culture that I have nothing to do with because that is the law, mister. And when the law says so, I abide by it.

Is that correct? Correct. All right, cool. Have there been any other times in which you thought, like, man, if I did break the law, maybe I would do this? So a follow-up question.

If all of these things were legal, would you do them? If pot was legal here, do you think you'd smoke pot? Oh, yeah. Wow, dude. No, let me... Okay, this is great.

Fucking craziness. This is great. We're about to have one of those great Kill Tony moments because my friend, I think you've needed for a long time somebody to tell you that it's time to start smoking pot. You have everything else in line. If the only reason you're not doing it is because you think that some SWAT team's going to kick down your door, the second that you're not doing it is because you think some SWAT team's gonna kick down

your door the second that you light a joint... That happened three times in college to a friend of mine. What color was your friend? Well, it's Wisconsin College, so most likely you can take a guess. By the way, you look like the worst undercover cop

ever. Like you approach the school ground like, hey, pals, you guys have any reefer or what? Yeah, no, you guys can smoke it, but I like to follow the law. You guys go skydiving or something? I got this shirt because I went skydiving. Not because I smoked pot. You're all under a fucking rest.

You idiots. I relate to you kids. You know Spongebob's that hit cartoons that you love? Let's smoke some reefer together. You know, most places, if you have a little bit of weed,

it's like an $80 ticket at max if they even give you it. But I went to school and got three degrees and I'm now a window washer, so I don't have $80. So the future is clear. You should smoke weed. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. How did I drop out of school and I'm doing better than this guy? I got CTE probably. I played football 13 years, so that's my guess. I didn't hear what you said.

Moving on. CTE? You know that movie Will Smith made? Oh, yeah. You have head trauma from playing football. Oh, that's sad. Okay, well then you're probably sort of stoned all the time.

That's fine. They're fucking great. Since you are a Vind Okay, well then you're probably sort of stoned all the time. Exactly. They're fucking great. Since you are a Vindovasha, do you call past girlfriends your Vindex? Just asking. If you come to Los Angeles, you would smoke weed because it's legal there.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. If I went to any of these bordering states where it's legal. Oh, you got to take a fucking road trip. What do you think would happen? When's the last time you smoked pot? Never. Really? What do you think would happen if you inhaled on this pen that I have here in my pocket?

I don't know if I can. Okay. The suspect is in sight. What if he arrested me right now? He really was an undercover cop, and I took the bait. What about DMT? Would you like to try some? Sure.

Hey, look at that. Is there a button? Huh? There's no button. No button? Wow. Okay. Straight to DMT. Do not pass go.

Do not collect 200. Wait a second. No, exhale it now. Okay. Don't hold it in for that long. Go ahead. Exhale. How did you hold it that long, by the way?

I've tried. Virgin lungs, I guess. Extra strength. Exhale. How did you hold it that long, by the way? I've tried. Virgin lungs, I guess. Extra strength. I don't know. Okay. I have some mescaline underneath this sweater. Would you like to try some? Dale, welcome to the show.

Congratulations on having your first time doing stand-up. Go enjoy that DMT trip, everybody. There he goes. Dale Bishop, everyone. DMT. He's tripping his ass off right now. Tripping his balls off on DMT.

DMT being, of course. That was nicotine, for those of you. It's lemon sherbet. The thing I... I immediately, when he looked at me with his eyes, realizing he was serious about having head injuries, and he said, I probably shouldn't do that. I'm like, you know what?

You're fucking right, buddy. You're fucking right. Last thing I need is him wrapping himself around a tree after hitting my vape pen one time on the way home just like oh man it turns out with his massive head trauma combined with that one hit of bod he's dead

now how about one more time for him Dale Bishop everybody a guy that just likes being like a stoner. Oh, this looks cool. Put your hands together for your next comedian, Dana Ehrman, everyone. Dana Ehrman. Yay, a girl.

Dana, come on up here. Hi, Dana. Come on, guys. Good and Dana. Come on, guys. Good and loud for Dana Ehrman. All right, are we drinking tonight, Appleton? Yeah, I'm 26 years old. I didn't actually have my first drink until I turned 21. Where's my prize?

I was told I'd get a prize for that. Thanks for not doing this. Normally when I say that, someone will yell out, liar. A couple things about that. One, have you looked at me? Is it that hard to believe? I look like I edited Wikipedia on the weekends in high school. I look like a 17 year old

who just got her first job at Applebee's and is taking it very seriously maybe too seriously I know that but the thing is when you're growing up and you see your family doctor they ask you questions and when I was high school age she asked me if I drank and I said no

she'd be like wow what a great kid what a role model but then when I got to college and she was asking if I drank and I still said no she'd be like oh buddy get a life of life. Fuck yeah. Dana Ehrman. Heck yeah. Awesome set. This is definitely not your first rodeo. You've been doing stand-up for a little while, right? That is correct. A couple years? Yeah, a couple years. Awesome. All here in Wisconsin? All in Wisconsin. Milwaukee, actually.

So sorry about tomorrow. I absolutely yeah, indeed. Are you coming tomorrow by any chance? I'm not able to. Oh, damn. Man, really great set. I love your style and your delivery and the way you make fun of yourself. Just really fucking cool.

Even for two years, I mean, like, I'm really, you know, I was very impressed. I see people in LA that have been doing it for three, four, five years and don't have that kind of delivery where they just stay in the pocket and let the jokes do the work. Thank you. Really awesome stuff. So you've been doing it two years.

You're from Milwaukee. What is it about Milwaukee? What's going on in Milwaukee? What's wrong with them? Well, it is where I was born, so i've just never left and i mean it they call it a big city but it's a little small town feel and that's what i like about it uh-huh small town feel like they don't listen to podcasts they're still stuck on my goodness what do you do for work in milwaukee uh i work at a college and i do their social media and PR stuff.

That sounds about right. Did you really not drink your whole life until you were 21? I did like one time before I was 21 just to prepare myself for... What was the reason? Because of the law? Are you guys scared of the law here this bad?

Is that why they serve Pepsi in all these restaurants and not Coca-Cola? It was a little bit the law. It was also... I just wound up really tight growing up. That's so funny to me because I really have never

heard anything like what the last guy fucking said. There's a part of it in which I'm like, was he fucking with us? Because the law, like he must be a massive stoner and has, you know, maybe, I don't know, maybe he's trying to keep his job or something like that.

Like, I don't know. Maybe he was lying to us, but who the fuck? Anyway, do you smoke pot? You seem like you smoke pot. You like to smoke pot and like read Harry Potter and shit, right? You're like a person that takes two little tokes and then reads her book,

and that's the only way she can fall asleep, right? Something like that. I don't do it regularly, but I've done it. Yeah. What do you do for fun? What are you into, hobby-wise? I mean, I work on comedy. I just like seeing movies and checking out the new spot in Milwaukee, really.

The new spot? Yeah, whatever that is, a restaurant, a bar. What are some spots in Milwaukee that you've seen lately that are cool? Well, I haven't been there yet, but right down the road from me, there's a... Because we're there tomorrow night, so... Yeah, oh, well, you got to go to Vanguard. It's a gourmet sausage place. Oh.

That's the stuff. Nice. With these four, it's already a sausage festival, but actually there's only three of them, so that's how I just picture another man being there all the time. With these four. Anyway, what else? Vanguard?

How about after the show? What's something fun to do? Where do you go when you want to drink a nice Mike's Hard Lemonade or something? You could go to Landmark Lanes. There's bowling games and just drinking. Is there pool tables? Pool tables, of course. There we go.

Landmark Lanes. I'm going to mark that down. Landmark Lanes. There you go. All right. So what's your love life like? Because I'm going to be honest with you. And I know I. There you go. All right. So what's your love life like? Because I'm going to be honest with you. And I know I don't like to, but of course, I do the same thing with men.

I never make excuses. But I find you intriguing because you seem like the kind of girl that acts like she's nerdy. She has a cam website. Right. But there's this little fire that I see inside of you that tells me that there's a little beast under there somewhere that just fucking only...

For example, I feel like you only do it from the top position. You literally... It's ride or die with you. Gustav. You look like you're transitioning but I'm not sure of which gender.

That's not what I was saying at all, Gustav. That's what you meant by on top or the bottom, right? I don't understand English. I'm sorry. Come on. I know exactly which gender you are. It's an honor to be here with someone that looks like Judah Freelander's little brother.

That's an honor. Or like Clark Duke. You know what's on reference? Okay, let's go back to what I was talking about. Okie dokie. That's that one thing that only you know about. We're going to keep it moving along. Seven, seven, seven.

I'm going to go back to what I was to what I was just you said she's a demon in the bedroom yes and am I close to right about that honestly I mean or am I way far off and you are as conservative as you look somewhere in between

I feel like you have a sex swing I feel like you have your bedroom looks like all it's there's books everywhere and just bookshelves and all that. And it's like under the bed and you pull it out and you pull like a lever and like you pick it up. Is it a Hitachi or like did you just cut off the end of a broomstick? Like is it? I feel like she built a sex fort in her room, like with blankets and broomsticks and like come inside. And then she's like,

ahhh! And then the first comedian literally does. You have a wild sex life? Are we about right on that? Let me ask you this way. It's more wild than an average person would guess if they just write. Probably not even that. It's probably about what you would guess or less.

Right. So I'm right there. Do you have a sex swing? No, I don't, but it's something to aspire to. Is there something that you'd be willing to share with us that you do have or have done or anything like that? There could be a slight example, perhaps, and then, you know. I mean,

not really. I just ended a relationship, so just... Why did you end it mean, not really. I just ended a relationship. So just... Why did you end it? It was mutual. We just didn't like the same things. He didn't like you dressing up as sexy Ben Franklin. He's gonna leave for that? You made Tony go poop.

Can I just say that's way more hurtful than the gender transition joke I made earlier? What was that? I said sexy. Should I? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That is the funniest thing ever. You could be sexy

Benjamin Franklin. It would be sexy Ben Franklin. Oh man. Dana, you were so much fucking fun. And the cool part of this is that from the second you got up here it became, I mean maybe it's just me,

but I think the whole show picked up a big notch, both with your stand-up and with your interview. Yeah, thank you so much. Dana Ehrman, ladies and gentlemen. Wow, that was a great surprise. Yeah. Yeah. It was like pure electricity that she discovered

whenever she got up here It keyed her heart on a kite Yeah, you can see it back there She's flying her kite Speaking of, we'll be in Philadelphia soon Maybe, hold on Maybe we'll have someone else like. I mean, maybe, hold on, maybe we'll have someone else like her. You know what they say,

lightning never strikes twice. Sexy Benjamin Franklin. For those of you listening to the podcast and you don't watch it, I went into the men's room when Joel Berg made that joke. I went all the way in, made eye contact with a guy peeing in a urinal, and then

walked back out again. There he is. There he is, right there. Why are you looking at me? Stop staring at me. Why are you in here? Pulled another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Jackson Weiberg, everyone.

Wow, from right here in the front. Here he comes. Jackson Weiberg. Guys, I'm in college now, which is great. I love college. My least favorite part about college is recently, now all my friends and family are starting to say I look like a frat boy. But I'm not a frat boy.

Because unlike a frat boy, I wait till the second date to roofie my victims. boy, I wait till the second date to roofie my victims. Guys, here's a fun game that I like to play. If you guys could go back in time, see any band live ever, any band live, how big would your

sign warning people about 9-11 be? sign warning people about 9-11 be. Guys, I hate blanket statements. I hate blanket statements about minority groups of people. For example, Mexican people love quilts.

Mexican people love quilts. Thanks. Hell yeah. There you go. Great set, man. Jackson Weiberg. This is another one where I'm going to go off and guess here that you may have been doing this for a short while, right? Yeah, like three and a half years. Three and a half years. Fuck yeah,

man. Really great set tonight. Three fucking really, really, really great jokes. I love the frat boy second date joke. It may seem simple if you were listening to it audio only, but to see how you held it and just really

owned it after you said that made me think you really do roofie people on this second day. It was really incredible. And in that moment, it became truly funny. 9-11 thing. Blanket statement. It was cute. So three and a half years. That's awesome.

How old are you? I'm 21. 21 years old. That is so fucking cool that you're already doing this and have three and a half years experience. Are you that guy? Are you an Appleton? I'm in Milwaukee, but I was born and raised in Appleton. Not born, raised in Appleton.

Raised in Appleton. Yeah. And now you live in Milwaukee. I do, yeah. I go to school there. What are you studying? Communications. Yeah, that makes sense.

And how much longer until you graduate? Like a year and a half. Huh. Year. You're that makes sense. And how much longer until you graduate? Like a year and a half. Huh. Year. You're 21 years old. Tell us what 21-year-old kids in Milwaukee do. You got your classic

Midwest khaki cargo shorts on. Yeah, yeah. That's how I dressed when I was 21, too. Living in Ohio. Yeah, me too. Just fucking living that good life.

Just hoping for the best. Yeah. Fucking putting that energy out there. You know what I too. Just fucking living that good life. Just hoping for the best. Yeah. Fucking putting that energy out there. You know what I mean? Just fucking. I did the camo khakis. Yeah. Yeah.

What's it like to play on the sandlot? Tell us what you do for fun. I like going out with my friends. What's out to you? Like, just like bars to you? Just bars. There's a few good bar streets for college students in Milwaukee. What do you like to do when you go to these bars? Usually drink alcohol, but I know you want more than that.

What's your drink of choice? He likes to pick up chicks or he likes to call them victims. Yeah. Drink of choice. I like whiskey sours a lot. I liked where you were going. You were saying I wanted more than that and you were about to say more. What was that going to be? You like to drink and then what? You know, like...

Is it true? Do you go around flirting with a lot of girls on the campus? No, usually I just walk around with my earbuds in and don't talk to people on campus. Ooh, who's that mysterious boy? He only listens to earbuds and doesn't make eye contact with me. Is he autistic too? Ooh.

So when you do socialize with people, what do you do? It's a good question. Usually just hang out, listen to music. Are we talking at bars? Okay, we're at a bar. I'm a hot girl. Sure. Go.

You have your earbuds in, so if you want to talk to her, you have to take those out first. Oh, yeah. Wait, your other earbud's still in. I know, it's my move. What's up? Oh, hi. Can I buy you a drink?

I've already had seven, but what's one more? Oh, boy. What do you want? Anything with alcohol, big guy. All right. Oh, hey, I'm the bartender. Can I get you a drink? Yeah, can we get her a water?

Oh, is she okay? I'm in earshot of you, you prick. Yeah, here you go. That's usually how it goes. Here's a bottle of water. Four bucks. For a shit. Yeah. It looks like you got a lot of money in those pockets.

Where are you going? One second. Pay up, buddy. Yeah. What an asshole. You got any money? Hey. That's that shit he's putting in the cup.

Oh my God. Do you have autism? Let me buy the bottled water. I'm going to blow him later, okay? Ah, it worked. Look at that. That's magical. And scene. You just like to sober the chicks up

with both water and your personality. Is your parents divorced? Crackers and water. No parents are still together? Still together You seem like you come from a really wholesome family You have two sisters, am I correct? I've got a sister, one sister Just one, you had one that passed away, am I correct?

No, but Oh, come on Are you fucking sure? Ask your mom next time you see her about the sister that she never told you about. Your ghost sister, yeah. Yeah, it's true. She may have never told you

because she didn't want to. It came out in a toilet. Yeah. Your half black sister. She died immediately, but somehow the first comedian is still paying child support on it. So you have one sister.

Parents are still together, right? Mom's a teacher. Dad's a pilot. Mom is like an HR person for an insurance company, and Dad does insurance claims. Wow. Yep. Good Lord.

Do you have insurance? I do. I do have insurance. Is it good? I hope so. You get it from your dad insurance? I do. I do have insurance. Is it good? I hope so. You get it from your dad? Yeah. No, that's good.

It's clearly one good thing he gave you. Do you have... You literally don't have any genes. Go ahead, Gustav. It looks like you either have HMO, PPO, or HIV. I'm not sure which one it is. Yeah, and he also has a little H&M. That's true.

Yeah. That is true? Yeah, I shop at H&M. It's like my whole closet. You're damn fucking right. Homosexuals and men. I love it. Anyway.

What else, Jackson? Anything else that we would find interesting about you that we should know? A little fun fact about you. Anything crazy ever happen? You ever save someone's life or almost die or anything like that? You ever roofie a girl? No, I haven't done that.

It's on his bucket list, okay. Yeah. One time he tried, but he accidentally just forgot and used his earbud and dropped that in someone's drink. Interesting fact about me. I like playing sports. Really? Shocking!

Sorry. You sound disappointed. What sport do you play exactly? I want to know because I want to beat your ass in it. Basketball and I play tennis. Wow. Curling. You know you're in Appleton, Wisconsin when this is a basketball player.

This is your guys' fucking Shaquille O'Neal over here. This fucking... He's known around town. Yeah. Is it true that you ball all over? Mostly just, like, in the local gym. How high can you jump? Not high.

More of like a pass-first point guard. Oh, so like a pass-first point guard. Oh, so like a bad player. Yes. Can you give us an example? Would you mind jumping as high as you possibly can from a safe position? Oh, please don't make me do this. No, you already am. Take a step forward this way.

Right there. Right there. And I just want you to vertical. I want you to look out, face the audience, squat as low as you'd like to, and just give one good vertical leap. Straight up. Nothing fancy. You guys excited about this? Here we go.

Joel's gonna measure here. Your Cuban referee, Ricky Ricardo. Well, he lifted up his feet a little bit, like he was jumping some big gay jump rope or something. What do you think? Gustav, you want to beat it? Or should we just laugh about how he only has a 20-inch vertical lead?

I mean, he jumps this high. It's pretty crazy, yeah. All right. Have you ever won one of these basketball games that you like to play? Or do you just love to punish? I'm an intramural athlete. I'm not like a... Like, I just enjoy playing.

Intramural. That's where they let both sexes play the game, right? Yeah, sometimes. I'm on a co-ed team. Right. Definitely, yeah. Are you one of the women or the men? You look like you're on a co-special ed team.

All right. You look like you're on a co-special ed team Alright, well, you were a lot of fun dude, and a really, really, really fucking fun set Thank you so much for coming here You going back to Milwaukee, what, tonight? Yeah, tonight I don't have a ticket for the show but I want to go I bet you do

How about we throw you on the guest list and you can sign up again and we'll see if you get lucky two nights in a row. How about that? Yeah, that'd be great. Awesome. You'll be on the guest list for tomorrow night's show. Luckily, there's a little bit of room left on that guest list for us to be able to squeeze you on.

It's not even a list, really. Jackson, if you'd like to bring 400 friends with you, feel free. It's more even a list really. Jackson, Jackson, if you'd like to bring 400 friends with you, feel free. It's more of a guest book. Yes, I'd like to put a name on the guest list. Jackson plus 412, please. Oh, Jesus.

You'll be missing out if you didn't put my name on that list. No, no, no, don't come up here. Don't come up here. You have to go that way, bro. on that list. No, no, no, no. Don't come up here. Don't come up here. You have to go that way, bro. No, no, no, no, no, no. Here it is. All right.

Okay. You guys having a lot of fun here tonight, huh? Is this guy real? What the fuck was that? That guy was literally like a 1980s villain. He said... Jesus Christ. He came up and he said, you're missing out.

And then Tony's like, no. And he goes, see you later. You're lost. Yes. Yes. You got me

with your Jedi fucking mind tricks. Very good. He saw one white bro and he's like, oh, is this the time is the show

when the bros go up? You're fucking lost, dude. I fucking would've killed, bro. Dude, I would've fucking ripped you're fucking lost dude I fucking would have killed bro dude I would have fucking ripped that fucking room harder

than anyone dude I've never fucking done it before but I would have fucking did it and I know for a fact he's never fucking done it before or else he never would have fucking did that I love it. These fucking idiots. They get 23 drinks

and they start thinking that they can do whatever they want. How many of you like it when comedians do good on this show? How many of you like it when comedians do bad on this show. How many of you like it when comedians do bad on this show? Then we probably should have let that guy up that wanted to go up.

All right. Pulled another name out of the bucket. Make some noise for Josh Mark, everyone. Josh Mark. Hey. Hey. Here he comes. It's Josh Mark, everybody. Here he comes. It's Josh Mark, everybody. Keep it going.

Come on. We're having fun here. Thank God it wasn't that crazy guy. One more time for Josh Mark, everyone. What's going on, Appleton? A couple fun facts about myself. My parents are first cousins. All that means is I have to carry around a spit cup,

and I don't do dip. carry around a spit cup and I don't do dip. I look like Steve Avery, like a young Steve Avery. If instead of throwing, if instead of lighting cats on fire, he lit blunts during his childhood. Instead of lighting cats on fire,

he lit blunts during his childhood. I once watched a billy goat hang itself at my grandpa's house. I don't even care anymore. Fuck yeah. Did you have something else you wanted to do? You're good, you're good, Josh Go, go, go, go out strong You wanna do it? Go do it, do it Do your last joke, Josh, do it

I think fly fishing is just Reckless fishing Oh, no. See? I tried to save you. I tried to save you. You gave me those puppy dog eyes. I love it.

Josh, very fun. Is this your first time? Second time ever. How fucking cool is that? Look at you. You seem cozy. You got a good stage presence. You're a likable looking dude. You're wearing that shirt. You got a good stage presence.

You're a likable looking dude. You're wearing that shirt your grandma got you for your birthday. It's adorable. Gustav. Yeah, I think you should change the joke to, I look like a young Steven Avery if I actually committed some murders. Yes. Nice.

I agree. Which reminds me me by the way and I guess I'll ask you I love fucking making a murder and all that shit is that near here is Manitowoc near here Manitowoc is like right down highway 10 really how far east

45 it's not on the way to Milwaukee is it damn I would have loved to have fucking stopped off 45? It's not on the way to Milwaukee, is it? Damn. I would have loved to have fucking stopped off. All right, shut up, lady. Don't you have fucking two kids to be taken care of right now? You're giving me goddamn directions to a murderous junkyard?

What the hell kind of life are you living? He can't pull out. She can't shut up. So, wow. 45 minutes away. You ever go around there? You ever go near Manitowoc? You ever go near the junkyard?

No. I would if I lived around here. I'd sneak into that motherfucker all the time with a fucking little flashlight. Yeah, if I look like you, I would just go back on those grounds and people think that he's released. It's like, is he out of prison? And then you're just waving to your neighbors, bringing some cookies and stuff like that. Have fake blood all over your white

t-shirt. Good to be home. Maybe half a prison outfit on. My goodness. That would be fun. Brandon, what do you want to do for dinner? I don't know. You should do that. If I were

you and you live close to there, this close, around here. Make a YouTube video about it. That might be really funny, man. Viral. Absolutely. Going to night. What? Let's go to night. Well, no. We're not going to help you with it at all. Yeah. Let's do a full shoot in the dark.

But I will promise you this. I guarantee you this. If you do it and you make it funny and you tag us in something, we'll fucking maybe share it or something if it's really funny. Wow. Like we told this guy that he should do this. Wow. We'll fucking say that.

That's a solid maybe a retweet from one of the top Young Rising comedians in the world. Hey, no, I was thinking about you, Mr. You know, you were just, you're right at the top of the billboard charts. How about a hand for Jeremiah Reagan and Watkins on Absolutely Killing It with their debut album.

Anyway, so Josh, tell us about you, man. What do you do? What do you drive for a living? I used to drive a straight truck. Wow, now you drive a gay truck? Behave. Beep, beep. All night long.

No, I... Has an extra loose rear end? Gay truck jokes. It's a fucking... it's a fucking it's a fucking it's got a fucking dirty tailgate takes a lot of heavy loads

a transformer that's a pretty gay truck a leaky tailpipe. He gets a lot of semi-boners. It's hard to write gay truck jokes, you motherfucker. How many bowling leagues have you been kicked out of? In Hawaii. His life does look like it's in the gutter.

What do you do for work? I never got an answer. You used to drive straight trucks. Now? I work at a rifle barrel company. Make AR-15s. I thought your set was amazing. I love you.

Really funny. I thought it was great. Amazing. If you want anything you ever need, totally going to repost that video even if it's shit. Even if it's dog shit, low quality, shot on an

iPhone vertically, I'll do whatever you want. AR-15s, holy fucking shit. How long have you been in that business? Like a year and a half. Wow, how many school shootings around here since you got quiet, and now I think there may have been a shooting.

You think your comedy would be at a higher caliber? Hey. Alright. Everybody relax. So you sell guns. You don't sell them near the Greyhound bus station downtown, do you? Alright.

You know what? Okay. I don't know what the fuck dogs are doing in this conversation. Greyhound. Come on. Wow. Is that what you think greyhounds fucking sound like? All right. After being shot.

So, wow. A lot of guns. You sell guns to shady people ever? You ever sell a gun to someone that looks like you? A couple times. Like, I've been to jail a couple times i mean i oh good for what i i got some friends that i know that can definitely get rid of some guns fast you know if i ever need it bulk allegedly have you really been to prison i've never been to prison jail uh yeah washington county okay for what Washington County. For what? It's Wisconsin, so DUI.

Is that what you were about to say? Fuck that. I can't even drink. You can't? Why is that? They put a fucking marker on my hand. Okay. Who gives a fuck? How old are you? 20, man. Really? You're 20 years old? Okay. I'm going to kill myself for you.

This is mind-blowing. I just assumed you were 39. Can I see your face real quick? Oh, fuck. Yeah, they should have put the X over that. I thought that this was the actual Old Man River. My goodness, this is incredible.

You're fucking 20 years old, and you look like an old Stephen Avery. That's amazing. So, Jail, what are we talking about? So, I used to make and sell a lot of pot brownies. Wow. So the thing that they do in Washington County is they like to throw it all on a scale and weigh it up and then say that's what we're talking about here. When you're cooking the brownies or when you got arrested?

No, when I got the brownies in a pan, I'm sure they kept the pan in it, and they just threw it all on a scale, and they said I had like a pound and a half. Oh, fuck. Are you fucking kidding me? They counted the batter in the weight of the fucking pot? Are you fucking kidding me? What is wrong with this place? Why are you still here?

What is happening? Is it like some weird thing? Like your parents told you that your parents' parents told them that you must stay in the ground? What the fuck are you people doing here? Have you ever gone anywhere else? Okie dokie. You're just staring back at me like I'm the weird one. And the Pepsi everywhere.

That is the saddest thing I've ever heard in my life. That is an overall statement of what this, like this place is out to fucking fuck people over. That's crazy because weed brownies

don't have power. Oh my God. So are you saying that since it's against the law, you shouldn't smoke weed Tony You know what it's true I'm never smoking weed In Wisconsin again

For the next at least 15-20 minutes So Pop Brownie So how long did they put you away for A month I got shit ton of probation Yeah is that what you call it when dudes buttfuck you? Probation? Tony, can you imagine being put away for a pot brownie?

If you look at my car right now, there's like 10 edibles in there. There's joints, there's weed. And if I got pulled over, they'd be like, cool, that's awesome. Right, exactly. Well, they'd probably yell at you about the brownies if you had brownies those are high in saturated fats in California

but carbs do you have like underage cops pulling you over oh wow cool there's like edibles and stuff in here is that a porno magazine wow hey can we hang out later? This is awesome.

My goodness. So what else about you, Josh? Anything else we need to know? I can't legally buy beer, so I brew my own. That's smart. What is it with the law in this place? Is that against the law? That is a true

alcoholic right there. I'm not allowed so I will make my own. Strange enough, let me guess. Strange enough in Wisconsin if you make your own and it's at home and you don't take it out, you can fucking drink it, right? Dude, I don't even know. Fuck the law. Oh wow.

Look at that. Oh my goodness. Wow. That is incredible. Look at that. My goodness. Wow. That is incredible. I got bad news for you. You're under arrest. Tie-dye guy, come get him. In an amazing twist. Have you ever just tried to go to a grocery store and buy a 12-pack and they go,

Oh, yes, sir, Mr. 42-year-old man. You could definitely have this. Absolutely. At a certain point, it costs too much money to buy empty beer bottles. So I just go to the store. I buy some New Glarus. Best damn beer bottles out there. I just fill my own.

No, I mean, why not just drink the beer you bought, man? I do, but I like my beer, man. Well, you became Mexican all of a sudden. I do, but I like my beer, man. You became Mexican all of a sudden. I do, but I like my beer, man. Alright, well, there you go. He fucking makes his own beer. He's 20 years old. Doesn't care about the law.

I fucking like your style, man. Second time ever on stage. That's right. And I would kick myself if I did not ask you to hit that pen on stage right now. Why would I hit the pen? You think I'm going to let you

hit my fucking pen? There's no chance in hell, motherfucker. Are you kidding me? I have no reason to do that. It's just nicotine anyways. Yeah, it's totally just nicotine. Are you kidding me?

It's a prop. Look at this fucking thing. Does this look like fucking pot to you? Oh, you're right. You're right me? It's a prop. Look at this fucking thing. Does this look like fucking pot to you? Oh, you're right. You're right. Gooseball? Crazy guy? No, I'm not gonna... No. No. He's 20

years old and he asked for it. You know what that would do? Every single comedian at the end of every single set for the rest of Kill Tony history would go, well, before I go, I'd be a mist. I'd really kick myself, even though I physically look like I can't kick

myself, if I didn't ask to hit that pen, Tony. Go ahead, Gustav. Yeah, would you like a Zantac 75 tablet? There he goes, Josh Mark, everybody. His second time ever on stage. Josh Mark.

You did it. Guy thinks he's gonna hit my fucking pen. Can you believe that? Can you believe how crazy it is? It was interesting because it was the guy that had never smoked pop before. You goofball. Felt like something dropped.

Did you feel that? Yeah, I felt that too. Maybe. I don't know. We're feeling things. Must be all that nicotine we smoked right before the show. I'm so high on nicotine right now. It's freaking out, man.

This nicotine I brought with me from Los Angeles in this pen is unbelievably effective. I've been snorting flow nays all day. Heck yeah. Let's keep this fun train moving along. Pulled another name out. Make some noise for Kyle L, everyone. Kyle L.

There can only be one. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle L. There can only be one. Kyle. Kyle L. Kyle L. Here he comes. Kyle L. Kyle L. Hi. So, have you ever been, like, walking through the parking lot of, like, a grocery store or driving down the road and you see some, like, obnoxious fucking bumper sticker on people's cars and you're like, what the fuck's up with that piece of shit? The worst bumper stickers I ever see are the ones that say like 26.2 and they're like literally like 10 of them on the fucking back of the car like what's up with that what the fucking try hards like why can't we just like settle for like for, like, you know, two, three, four? You know, like, let people know, like, you know, at least I'm trying.

Running two miles, three miles, four, five, six. You know, let's get real. Like, let's do, you know, maybe two, three. You could make up something like, I can eat that many pies in one sitting. Or, you know, maybe that's my personal record for how many times I jerked off in one day. Wow. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah.

Yeah, buddy. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Your name is Kyle L., huh? Yep. How do you think that went? Not great. First time ever? Yes.

Congratulations. Thank you. First time ever. That's awesome. I like your style, man. You went out and you fucking tried. That's something. I guess something.

I don't think what's up with that will ever work since that's sort of like a... As soon as I said it, I was like, what's up with that will ever work since that's sort of like a... As soon as I said it, I was like, what's up with that? What? I turned around for one second and somehow it got worse. I turned around and it was worse than it was the first time he did it. No, I like this version of this guy. The wacky guy has personality. Yeah.

You call it personality. I don't know. I'm looking at him. I think it's more like Down syndrome. I don't know if that's really personality. Can he answer a couple of your questions in his fun personality? Yeah. Let me find out if your fun personality.

And make sure you face the audience while answering these questions. What do you remember most about... What's your favorite memory from your childhood? Shit. Remember, it's your fun personality, dude. Who the fuck responds like that? Come on. I like playing Nintendo 64 with my brother.

Yeah, but do it like fun. Do it in your... Yeah, do it in your fun personality. Do the wacky thing like you just did. Like, what's up with that? I like to play Nintendo 64. Play Star Fox. Woo! Look, the people like it.

All right, good. I like this guy. Yeah, they love it. They love it. Do another joke in the fun personality. I want to see if this... I think all you can do is kill in your fun personality. I think the other personality doesn't work well for you.

Gustav's just trying to inspire you a little bit. He's from Germany. That's how they do things. He's poking him in the ribs. He's physically touching him. He's very ticklish. He has very, very, he has those glasses that make his eyes eight times bigger than they normally are.

You can tell this guy has tiny eyes because he has those big magnifying glasses and he still has tiny eyes. Johnny Carson eyes. Funny story, I'm actually cross-eyed. Prove it. That's why I wear these glasses. Wait, let me see. Look at me. Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Are you fucking serious, dude? Are you serious? Are you fucking with me? No, I'm not kidding. Hold on, let me try these glasses on.

This is unbelievable. Look at me, look at me. That was incredible. Hold on a second. Hold on. What the fuck? You are cross-eyed as a motherfucker, dude. My God. Welcome to the first four-man panel on Kill Tony on the Road.

Hell yeah. Hey, Mom and Dad, I did the show in Appleton. There was at least like 400 people in the audience. They brought the whole band. They had two guests. I must have been like, can you come to Milwaukee with us? Can you please come to Milwaukee with us? Double our audience. Wait, what? I'll be in Milwaukee

tomorrow. I'll be there tomorrow. Oh, fuck. Now you made it weird, Brian. He just gave that guy 12 kids. Funny thing, I used to tell my parents, I used to tell my friends that my mom drank when I was in the womb.

And I told them in front of her. And my mom's a real sweet lady and she just did not like that. Because it's true. You cut her deep, man. Wow, heck yeah. did not like that. Because it's true. You cut her deep, man. Wow, heck yeah. We're really covering all the bases here.

We're really crossing our I's and dotting our T's. Those fucking things are incredible. Have you been like that your entire life? Yep, since I was born. Wow, so every girl you've ever been with, it's been a threesome. It's incredible. When you were born, did you think you were a twin?

Look at you, you're funny. But you're normal, you're a smart guy. You're not like sort of, you're sort of retarded? No. Are you? I would think it would be you whose parents were first cousins and then this would all make sense to me but you actually seem like you have it all together

and the other guy can you get an operation to fix that or tie balloons on your eyeballs or something maybe I'm surprised you didn't just have it bullied out of you as a kid. Red Band literally just asked him if he could tie balloons to his eyes. Just put it in the hole. My goodness. Is there any truth to the rumor, Kyle, that you get all the pussy?

That's a lie. Have you ever eaten a girl's inner thigh out? Doesn't taste like anything. Boy, this doesn't taste like fish. Wow. Dude, there's nothing you can do that doesn't kill when you do that. You cross-eyed motherfucker. You are an unstoppable beast when you do that.

Do you know that? Are you aware of it? Not really. You choose not to kill. You're like Batman in the beginning of every Batman, where he's putting away his weapons. Like, no, I'm done now. I'm never going not to kill. You're like Batman in the beginning of every Batman, where he's putting away his weapons. Like, no, I'm done now. I'm never going back to it. And then he has to come back and save the day.

He does, whoa! Fuck you! Exactly, exactly. Did you notice his confidence goes up 1,000% when he does this too? I like it. Can you do another joke? Even if you don't, just do like a knock-knock joke for us or something

like that, perhaps. You know any good knock-knock jokes? Come on, give the audience a knock-knock. I don't really know that many great knock-knock jokes. Just fucking try one. Just say knock-knock. Knock-knock. Who's there? Cross-eyes. Cross-ey eyes who?

Cross eyes Kyle! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Cross that cow! Tony, usually I hate catchphrase comedians, but this is an exception. What the hell?

We've created a monster. He didn't even know what he had. He's like, yeah, my eyes have been crossed my whole life. No big deal. And we're like, no, you are the one. Wow, this is exciting, Kyle. My goodness. First time ever. So is stand-up something you've always wanted to do?

Yeah, actually ever since I listened to this podcast. How old are you? I am 27. What do you do for work? I am in sales. Yeah? What are you selling to of? Buy one, get one free, huh?

Yeah. Can you see the deals? You see these deals here? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're amazing. Oh my god Oh my god You're amazing And like you know what's great about you Is like all these fucking networks

And all these distributors Are all into diversity now And everybody will think you're disabled So you know what I mean I feel like I could write you a killer One hour Netflix special In like fucking four and a half hours. Let's do it.

You just do it like that. Two-hour special. Wow. How do you feel about sexy Benjamin Franklins? You guys would be a power couple. Heck yeah, man. That would be great. That'd be awesome.

If you guys made a baby, that'd be fucking crazy, right? You two started fucking and just made a little one, right? Just fucking, I can't find my sex swing anywhere. That's how it comes out of the womb? It smells in here. Oh, Red Band. He's the one who thinks all vaginas smell like fish, by the way. You remember that line from earlier?

Only me? Okay, bye. Did I find out what it is that you're selling? Did I get an answer out of that? I sell packaging. You don't want to tell me what you sell. It's for a corporation or something like that? Yeah. Cool. There you go.

Packaging. Right. Does it have two I's in it? No. Oh. Alright. Why I oughta. Wow. Okay. Well, what the fuck was it again

And you're signing up tomorrow You're gonna be in Milwaukee tomorrow I mean I guess I'll sign up I would love to I guess I'll just like take my glasses off And be cross eyed the whole time But you're already coming right Yeah

Okay well there you go Definitely sign up Yes please And as clearly as you did tonight On the Twitter line. No, I'm kidding. It's because you have horrible eyesight.

That's why I think it's funny. How about one more time for him, everybody? He made his debut here tonight. We had a lot of fun with him. It's Kyle L. Silly fuck. There he goes. There's Kyle. Hell yeah. You nailed it. That's fuck. There he goes. There's Kyle.

Hell yeah, you nailed it. That's exactly where my hand was. You guys think we should go to the bucket one more time? We're going overtime. We've gone over our time already. We got here late. Delayed flight out of Los Angeles. And we appreciate you guys.

We started a bit late. And you can thank some airlines for that. Oh, yeah. We appreciate you guys staying here late and having fun with us. So it's a fun episode. Okay. Your final comedian of the night

goes by the name of Joe Brown. Joe Brown. Joe Brown. Oh, here he comes. Here he comes. Here comes Jeff. One more time for Joe Brown, everybody. Thank you. So for the last year and a half, my wife and I have been getting into yoga.

Not for the namaste centeredness, none of that, just for flexibility and exercise. We do Diamond Dallas Pages yoga. It's pretty good. And we can do it at home so we don't have to go out in front of people. Because I know what would happen if we went to yoga class. She'd catch me looking at another one of the ladies in there. Can't help it, she's in front of me doing downward dog and makes me do upward hog.

Of course, my wife would then get pissed. We got to go, let's get out of here. And look at her and look around and look at her and go, namaste. to go. Let's get out of here and look at her and look around and look at her and go namaste. That's all I had, Tony. Thank you. Alright, getting out a bit early. Cutting out at 49

seconds. Leaving probably about 20% of your set on the table. Leaving a little bit early, like I'm guessing you do during yoga class. That's fun. How about one more hand for Joe Brown, everybody? 20% of your set on the table, leaving a little bit early, like I'm guessing you do during yoga class. Yep. That's fun. How about one more hand for Joe Brown, everybody?

Thank you. First time doing stand-up comedy? First time. You're damn right. That's very exciting. This is fun to be getting a chance to interview exactly what Wisconsin looks like. This is exciting to see it encapsulated and embodied into one human cheese curd.

It almost brought a tear to my eye to see Bobby Hill all grown up. This is it. Damn, you love those Bobby Hill references, man. If they keep coming, I'm going to keep making them. They all look like them. That's right. It's almost racist.

All right. Anyway, welcome to the show, Joe. Thank you. First time. Is that all true? You're married? I'm married, yep. And you go to yoga with your wife?

At home. Oh, at home. That's right. And how long have you been married for? 10 years. 10 years. How old are you been married for? 10 years. 10 years. How old are you? 37.

37. Wow. What do you do for work? I am a steel detailer. I draw beams and columns and trusses for big stadiums and buildings. Okay. What do you do? Steal other people's lunches on a job site?

Yep. How long have you been working with steel? 17 years. 17 years. 17 years. like a real fucking gentleman. You ever been to Pittsburgh on vacation? No. My goodness. Wow.

So you work in Steele. What does your wife do? She's a registered nurse. A registered nurse. Does she specialize in any. What does your wife do? She's a registered nurse. A registered nurse. Does she specialize in any specific type of nursing? Behavioral. Behavioral. Young people.

Psychological stuff. Very cool. You guys have kids? Yep. We got two. Two kids. Yep. How old are they?

One's about to be 18 and the other one's about to be 10. 18 and 10. What sex is the 18 year old they're both boys they're both boys heck yeah you proud of your 18 year old son or you think he's gay no i'm very proud of him he's he's gonna do well yeah what's he gonna do i don't think he knows yet oh he doesn't i don't know does he still live with you yes and uh is he going to college or anything like that or he'll be a senior this fall. In high school? Yeah.

So you don't know what the plans are yet? Not yet. Does he have a job yet? Not yet. Oh shit, look at you. I'm slacking on that. Look at you. I think you're kind of slacking on making sure he has a fucking job. I had a job at 14.

And look how Red Band turned out. Three companies now. Whoa. Mling, mling, mling, mling, mling. Three is a company. Are you a drummer, by the way? I noticed your drumming shirt. No, I just wore this for Joel.

Oh, damn it. Ah, look at that. He's a Joel Berg fan. He's got a drum set. He's not a drummer. However, he does love drumsticks, the ice cream treat. Joel just had

the biggest sigh of relief. He's like, if someone just wore a drum shirt, thank you so much. Joe, what do you do for fun? Any hobbies of yours or something? You seem like the kind of guy that likes shooting pumpkins in the backyard or something like that. I shoot pool a lot. Yeah, really? Is that true?

Is there a fun place to shoot pool around here in Appleton? What's that called? We're a little north of here, but... How far is a little north? An hour and a half. Two hours. Really? Oh my god. It's so funny. A little north. It's so funny when you're in, like, one thing I've noticed from traveling a lot, when you're in

sort of, like, not a major city, right? Like, we're outside of Milwaukee and everything, so we're in Appleton. Little North has to be fucking, it's obnoxious. If you're in Chicago, someone says a Little North, that means maybe 15, 20, 25 minutes. Right, exactly. Yeah, I told Tony that my place was only, like, a few miles away.

We went to Munich. I remember that time you took me to Munich. That was fun. Anyway, so Joe, wow. You shoot pool. Does your wife know she's married to Wisconsin Fred Durst?

He does it all for the cookie. You shoot pool and you also empty them Alright Man, shoot pool, what else? I don't know Play games at home with the kids That's fun for me What are some of the games that you like to play at home with the kids?

I know it's not Twister. No. Not very good at that. God damn it. Fuck this shit. He just rips it in half. You ever play the board game Guess Who's Your Real Dad? Because the answer is the first comedian.

Hell yeah. You can't believe how many callbacks there's been to him. Not very often does a comedian get his entire episode of Kill Tony dedicated to him, but you know what? Six kids, three baby mama, you fucking earned it, dude.

You came inside of our world here tonight. Our flat earth. Joe Brown, you have the same name as one of my favorite television judges. Some of my friends call me Judge. They call you Judge Joe Brown? Mike Judge created King of the Hill. Hey, wow.

Heck yeah. You did it again. Long lost uncle, maybe. I don't know. What'd you say? Long lost uncle, maybe. Long lost uncle. Let What'd you say? Long lost uncle, maybe? Long lost uncle. Let me ask you something, all right?

Joe, you seem like a real man. You're a real fucking dude. You got a couple fucking kids. You work with Steele. The wife's the nurse. Are there any special sexual moves that you have in the bedroom? Anything that you do,

just like a fucking finishing move that puts the fucking nuts and bolts on your wife? Yeah. Literally. It's called the roll over. I don't want to hurt her. What is it, Judge? I feel like I'm already calling you Judge

and we just met. Thank you. What is it? Is there something you like to do? Is there a special move? Pretty normal. Pretty normal? Yeah. He puts the sleep apnea mask on her. Do you have a sleep apnea mask? Not yet.

No, I don't. Does your wife? No. Sorry. What's something you and your wife... What's the craziest thing you and your wife have ever done in bed, if you don't mind me asking? There's got to be something, because you seem like a real fucking man.

You seem like the kind of guy that's like maybe you've put a gun up to her head or something like that. Use Pabst Blue Ribbon for lube. There you go. Are we getting warmer here? We're getting warmer. Red Band.

When we were younger, I did buy some lube one time and she didn't like it because it actually reacted with her and hurt. It reacted with her? Burned? Yeah. It's the hot oil. Massage oil.

It's not supposed to be actual Jiffy Lube. Heck yeah. It was oil from french fries on his fingers. Come on, baby. Wow. My goodness, Joe. How about back in the day? Anything you remember just one time? Did you ever experiment?

Did you ever put anything in your butt? No. No, none of that. I guess away from home, hotel sex. That's always good. Oh, away from home, hotel sex. Doesn't happen much, though. Heck yeah. You put the do not disturb thing on the door. You fill out your next morning breakfast

menu and you fucking get to town. You fill out your next morning breakfast menu and you fucking get to town. You know, when I was younger, when I was like 22, this is how redneck I used to be. I agree with you. I used to have hotel sex, but we would get a double bed and we would buy a whole bottle of baby oil

and we would just use the whole bottle on each other and just have baby oil sex on the one bed. Just ruin this poor bed. Like a whole gallon Costco baby oil. I don't know why, but that was our fun thing to do. Just a pimply ass couple walking around. It's funny because I know that when you were 22,

you were built like I am. You know what I mean? But I like to picture the modern you doing that. Yeah, that would be awesome. I actually will do that. Just chicks using you like a slip and slide. That's what was good about it. You get all oiled up and there's all boobs everywhere.

This guy lives his whole life oiled up. He lives there. All right. Anything else we'd be shocked to know about you, Joe? Any other fun facts or maybe a little like,

I guess maybe that is a good question because I feel like you remind me of the sort of like the tough guy in all of us. Like is there something that we'd be surprised to know? I guess what I'm asking is, what is the

most hillbilly thing about you to you? Here we go. We got an answer. You already fucking know. Here we go. My cousin and I were bored on a Friday night when we were 19 or 20. We decided they have a fire tower out in the middle of the woods

for checking forest fires. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You did what? So in the middle of the woods near where I live, they have a fire tower about 110 feet in the air. We went out there at midnight, walked a quarter mile through the woods. Hold on one second. Is your cousin a boy or a girl?

He's a boy. He's like my brother. Okay. And we climbed it, and then it's as boy. He's like my brother. Okay. And we climbed it, and then it's as close to parkour as I'll ever get. You know, walk around the top where you're just open to 100 feet below. Open with your sexuality. No, not quite.

You hooked up with your cousin that night, am I correct? He was a boy, but I made him a man. Yeah. He was my cousin and then he was like my brother. And for about 10 minutes he was a lot like my wife. I had sex with my cousin

in a 7-Eleven bathroom and that's what I call Game of Thrones. What? Gustav. My goodness. Well, Joe, I mean, first fucking time. You got it, dude. You're a likable guy. I think we have a lot of great comedians

tonight for their first times and second times here in Appleton. You guys should be very proud of yourselves. Small but fucking mighty. How about one more time good and loud for Joe Brown, huh? And that's it. That's what it looks like. That's

what it feels like. The first ever Appleton Kill Tony. Tell your friends. Tell your neighbors. Tomorrow night we are in Milwaukee, Wisconsin in a stunning stunning turn of events. A couple people.

We are there. And then we go on to a very few tickets left for Chicago, if any at all. Same for Madison, Minneapolis. A sold-out comedy store every single Monday. Poughkeepsie, the 19th.

And Gramercy Theater on the 20th in New York City. That's a very big one for us. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, July 25th, our biggest show ever in front of an audience. And what better way to follow it than doing it after our

smallest show ever here tonight in Appleton. Small but mighty. Again, we appreciate you guys. How about one more time good and loud for the leader of the band, the great Jeremiah Watkins. He's on top of the game.

Hell yeah. Hello. He has a new album, Reagan and Watkins. It's out everywhere, available at reaganandwatkins.com. New episodes of Jeremiah Wonders out now with Pete Holmes. Follow him on YouTube at Jeremiah Watkins, social media at JeremiahStandUp. Anything else, Jeremiah? Yeah, a couple of Reagan and Watkins headlining dates

that we added. June 28th in San Diego, and then also July 18th in Phoenix, and also one in Huntington Beach as well. So there you go. Hell yeah.

Guys, we decided to pull a little trick on you earlier and empty the stage of his simple drum set just to surprise you because this is the smallest venue that we've ever taken him to around the country. How about one more time for Joel Berg? Joel, come in here. The real deal. The guy made me go in the fucking bathroom earlier. Had me make eye contact with another man because he said a girl looked like a sexy Benjamin Franklin. So good. So much fun stuff happening. It's an honor to get to come here and have this much fun.

This is a risk that we take. Sometimes you go to fucking big cities, and because it's such a random improvised show coming out of a bucket, sometimes it's hard to pull off. And sometimes you go to a small city like this and have way more fucking fun than we thought we were going to have. Very shocking. It was great, guys. Thank you for helping us have another very

fun episode. We love you, Appleton. Red Band. Thank you very much. See you later. Thank you, guys. Good night. We love you.お疲れ様でしたラララララ キモいザマシイキモいザマシイ キモいザマシイ キモいザマシイ キモいザマシイ キモいザマシイ キモいザマシイ

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