KILL TONY - KILL TONY #371 - SKANKFEST #1

Episode Date: June 27, 2019

Big Jay Oakerson, Dave Smith, Luis J Gomez, Joel Jimenez, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 06/22/2019 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Hey, this is Red Band and you are listening to Kill Tony. Go to our website, deathsquad.TV for every episode we've ever done of Kill Tony, including video portions

of the show. If you click on tour dates, you can come see us live. In July, we're going to be in Plano, Texas. Then we're going to be in Fort Worth, Texas,

followed by a huge show in Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. Also, in August, I will be in San Diego with George Perez and Aiko Tanaka at the american comedy company august 17th that's a saturday go to death squat dot tv and click on tour dates tony hinchcliffe has his own website tony hinchcliffe.com check out tony hinchcliffe.com

for everything golden pony ryan j ebelt he's the house artist. He draws all the posters. He did the Kill Tony book. Go to ryanjebelt.com. And last but not least, shopsquad.tv. There's the official merchandise of Kill Tony and Death Squad, including hats, shirts, and mugs. Go to shopsquad.tv.

And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Redman coming to you live from Skatefest for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hatchcliffe. Skankfest, let these listeners know what the fuck's happening here tonight. Yeah, motherfuckers.

If you didn't come, you fucking blew it, listeners from around the country. We are live yet again from beautiful Skankfest, New York City. How goddamn exciting is this? What a tight squeeze it's going to be up here tonight for all of us together. This is a great return. It's good to be here at Skankfest, or as I call it, the Chernobyl of vape pens.

Works every goddamn time. Yes. How many of you have heard me do that joke so far this weekend? How many of you have heard me say that joke twice so far this weekend? Wow. How many have heard have heard me say that joke twice so far this weekend? Wow. How many have heard it all three times?

How many of you have seen it work all three times? Wow. This is heaven. Congratulations. This is heaven. We all are in love with one another. The great Brian Red Band's here, everybody. Hey, guys.

What's up? Hey. I am Paul Bearer's urn of destiny, and you know what? Why hesitate? Why even delay? You know we love infinite CBD. You should use it. If you're on the fence, fucking

do it. With that said, let's fucking bring up tonight's guest, shall we? Very special crew. You may know them by being at their comedy festival. I present to you our annual guests, the ones, the onlys, the Legion of Skanks. You don't need that cane anymore, bro. You can walk.

You got the power of fucking Skankfest. You don't need that fucking gay cane. Canes are gay. Canes are gay. Canes are gay! Canes are gay! Wow! Luis J. Gomez just threw a cane, everybody.

You can walk if you want to. But even Luis couldn't commit to that. He just gingerly threw the cane. Even Luis goes, I am the one who's going to get sued. This guy might need this cane. Always good to be part of the annual cane throw here at Skank Fest.

One of the many fun events that you can find here. 7 p.m. cane toss. Welcome back, guys. Thank you for having us back, man. Thank you for having us on Thank you for having us. Thank you for being here. Our West Coast brothers. If there was a legion of skanks on the West Coast,

it would be these motherfuckers right here. I love you guys. And if there was a Kill Tony on the East Coast, it would be these motherfuckers right here. We're all brothers from another mother. And it's good to be up here making some fucking incest with you guys again. But you guys know the whole fucking drill. You're vets at this.

What, incest? Yes. Yeah, we're pretty good. Love it. Yeah, we're all incest dogs. And being guests on the show. So let's just fly in. We have so many sign-ups tonight.

I just want to keep things moving. We could blibber blabber about everything just us forever. We know that, but let's run this format. As you know, gentlemen, there is a band on this show. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, it is

the first year that the full band has been at the Legion of Skank Skank Fest. Very exciting. Every single episode they commit to staying in character. I never know what they're going to be. I don't even know where they got ready tonight. They disappeared

about 15 minutes ago. I can't imagine them finding some crazy cupboard in this place to secretly get ready in, but I'm sure they did. Sometimes it's a brand new character that we've never seen before. Sometimes it's the return of some of our favorite characters. I never know what they're going to be or what they're going to do. We're all going to find

out together. They're one of my favorite things in all of comedy. Truly, two of the funniest human beings that I know, and they are the best damn band in the land. It's the Kill Tony Band. Jeremiah Watkins and Joel Byrd. Joel! Double potatoes!

They're the Legion of Skag! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Wow, this is incredible! Wow! Oh my god!

Jeremiah Watkins is clearly biggest Jay Oakerson. Just so we need Jeremiah, another great comedian wanting to kill himself. I'm sorry, Big J. I don't think you're actually shaped like that. It's funnier more than it hurts. Wow. Double Big J. Oakers. Look at those gloves.

What is that, an Oreo? A little fun fact, Big J. Wow. A little fun fact, Big J, that puts you up there and with the great Joe Rogan as the only two actual guests that have ever been played by Jeremiah Watkins in the history of the show. So congratulations.

So intense. Look at his face. It's like he's trying to find a girl to have a threesome with him and Christine. That's what I was thinking. And then... Back here on the drums, ladies and gentlemen. There's no doubt about it. I know when I see it.

That's Louis J. Gomez, everyone. The founder. The powerhouse backbone of Skank Fest. Louis J., how's it feel tonight? What's up, faggots? Wow. I love it. And just like in real life, Louis Louis J is playing in Big J's shadow

This is incredible Oh my god Total eclipse Granted all four of us are sitting in Big J's shadow Right now Tony I look like Sonic the Hedgehog if I ate all the chili dogs.

That is incredible. It took me a second to realize it was you that made that noise and not him. I was just listening. How the fuck did you know that the stripe in his hair was going to be blue? Did you do that here? My mind is blown.

We'll talk about it later. Oh, my God. Fantastic work. We have the Legion of Skanks. Minus Dave, like everybody wants. Yeah. No, even I get it. We have the skanks.

We have the legion of skanks. We have Red Band, which brings me to the great skank fest. Paul Bear's Urn of Destiny, everybody. You gotta urn it. you guys know how it works if I pull your name out of the bucket you get 60 seconds you know your time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten wrap it up then or else you're gonna bring out the angry Louis J. Gomez Bear. That's right.

He will suck your dick. If you go over your time, Louis is going to start sucking your fucking cock. He might if he thinks the situation calls for it. Tony, hold on real quick before you pull that first name. Was anybody at the Naked Roast last night?

Yeah. Did everybody see Joel Berg's huge cock? I love that you brought this up. It was, I literally almost passed out from laughing so hard.

Everybody else had small, extremely small or extremely normal to small dicks. And then Joel came out with three potatoes connected to one another. It's that real Puerto Rican rattlesnake, dude. Yeah. Sorry.

Hey, Lewis, let's just say this is the biggest your dick is ever going to be. You guys ready to start this fucking thing or what? We are live. Skankfest 2019. There's only one entranceway. Do not try to climb on the front of this stage. You have to walk up and over here

and behind us and on stage. I'll fucking fist fight you if you do, dude. Be careful. Don't let the adrenaline get to you. Watch your step. Watch where you're going. Don't trip over cords. Don't fucking fall over.

Don't trip over this guy's cane. He got it back somehow. And the party's about to begin and don't touch any of us. You guys ready to start the show? I pulled the name out of the bucket. Your first comedian getting an uninterrupted, remember, uninterrupted 60

seconds. There's no heckling. If they're bombing, you let them fucking bomb. If they're getting silence, I want to hear people getting fucking tattoos in the basement. All right? Don't you chime in. Put your hands together for Andrew Gerovino. Oh, shit.

We got double legion of skanks. We have legions of skanks. Andrew, is someone coming? Oh, I see movement. Yeah, here he comes. I see people scattering. Here he comes. Andrew, Andrew Girovino.

Andrew. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, getting the show started. Andrew Giro, Andrew. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, getting the show started. Andrew Cherovino. So this is pretty crazy because I actually went up first last year, too. Random as fuck. Didn't expect to get on last year. Back on here.

Good to be back. Love all you guys. So didn't expect to go on first, I'll be honest. All right, so my dad's on Facebook, which is awkward. He doesn't know that, like, I can see what he posts, like, on a common website or a common like. So, he recently, he commented on Drew Barrymore. She posted a photo of her on a set of a movie, and he wrote, like, hottie, five fire emojis. I'm like, Jesus Christ, Dad, this is what you're doing with your retiring time? Like, and Drew Barrymore, that's who you find attractive?

What's worse, it was a photo from the set of E.T. There's nothing straighter than getting head from a bearded woman. Think about it. Tickles your balls. Please end this. Oh yeah, Andrew Girovino. There we go. And it has begun. 60 seconds. You really started off the show last year? I really did. God hates you. Yeah, I know. So many names in this bucket. He's like, no, there's only one guy that can... No chance I could be the first one.

And you say my name. Hell yeah. So look, the truth is, I don't remember you from last year. And after watching this set, I know why. You were in here, dude. Bro, don't let him shit on you. I feel like by the time you open next year, you're going to be ready for this. Yeah!

I love it. I like the silent looking over at us and saying, please, after every joke. So, uh, that happened. Guys? I love this new look. This is a little different, right? A little Connor McHomeless type

of, uh, fuckin' chiseled beard. No, I wasn't talking about your muscle mass, Andrew. I was talking about your head. Can I just say one thing? This is my fourth Skankfest, and it's the best one yet. Wow. You guys are all my people.

I love all of you. Awesome. Wow, look at him. He can also pander, everybody. Isn't that incredible? He said the magic words. Skank fest. Do you guys want to hate this guy more?

Louis C.K. was just on downstairs. What? Yeah, you guys got to watch him. Yeah. Oh, man, I love all of you guys processing that. Do you want me to take him on a date? Is he fucking with us? No, you chose that over Louis C.K.

That just happened. Wow. Yeah, guess what? You still paid the Louis C.K. That just happened. Wow. And guess what? You still paid the same for your ticket. Wow. Way to bury the show. Very Hannah Gadsby of both of you. By the way, Louis is no longer on stage downstairs,

so you can all get back into the moment. You guys were actually online when Louis was on stage downstairs so you can all get back into the moment. Yes. You guys were actually online when Louis was on stage. Literally. I don't think I've ever felt an energy crash in a room quite as much as you guys just did right there. I mean, incredible. Oh, it's no big deal. You can still catch Cosby tomorrow.

Don't worry, everyone. He bombed. If you want the energy to dip that hard again, just watch one of Lewis' sets. Whoa. Wait. Man, he has got me down. Wait a second.

Lewis is up on his feet. I've never seen you stand up to a big Jay Oakerson before. This is exciting. a Big Jay Oakerson before. This is exciting. You'll finally get to do all the bullying that you've wanted to do all these years. Andrew, stop fucking recording, you idiot.

It's exciting stuff. I mean, clearly from your comedy, the only chance you have is being an Instagram star. Look, Mom, these real comedians don't think I'm funny. Andrew, what's changed in your comedy career since last year? Now you wear a tiny backpack.

Infinite CBD gave it to me. With one Magnum condom in it, right? Hell yeah. Oh, no. I've actually done comedy less. But, you know. Very good know That was the goal actually, Andrew We wanted you to slow down a bit Thought you were getting a little too much

Too soon So what do you do for work? I don't know if you remember, but I'm still a part-time mailman You shit on me last year for you brutally Why would anybody remember? Dude, I swear to you When you were coming through the crowd I was like, is that the mailman from last year for. You brutally, you know. Why would anybody remember? Dude, I swear to you, when you were coming through the crowd, I was like, is that the mailman from last year? Yeah.

Oh, but the better thing is that after all this time in the entire set, and then he goes, I was the part-time mailman. You go, yes, that's right. I couldn't place it. I IMDB'd you. It's all coming back to me now. I must have made a joke about how at least you have good delivery in one of your jobs. I IMDB'd you. It's all coming back to me now. I must have made a joke about how at least you have good delivery in one of your jobs.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. You remembered your joke. Yeah. Part-time mailman. Oh, yeah, the guy who Tony ripped real good. I also started working as a bouncer and at Best Buy, So I got other jobs. A bouncer at a Best Buy?

What the fuck? No, no, it's separate. It's a bar. Olive Ridley's. Plattsburgh, New York. Wow. They're not having anything. Dude, I've never seen someone lose steam before the woo. South side thing.

Also, there's no such thing as a bouncer at Best Buy. You're the retarded guy who checks the receipts at the door. No, it's in the big TV section,

dude. Magnolia land. You ever bust anybody working at Best Buy? No, I sell TVs at Best Buy and I bounce at this other bar. I don't bounce at Best Buy. Why don't you laugh harder at my Magnolia joke?

No, it was good. I was trying to think of a joke. I was like, do I ID people at Best Buy? I was like, boom. So I stopped myself. And you specialize in TVs at Best Buy? There we go. Samsung or Sony?

God, you are truly, I mean, you are the opposite of comedy. Here we go. Samsung or Sony? God, you are truly, I mean, you are the opposite of comedy. Here we go. I think one of these guys is about to make a joke audience. I was going to say it's crazy that you sell something that you'll never be on. What I say, I was like, here we go. It's going to hurt. It's going to be smart. It's going to hurt.

Tony, he thinks TV stands for tuberculosis. Wow. Oh, fuck. The Louis J's just high-fived each other. Joel's staying in true character there. Andrew, there you go. I'm going to keep it moving along. There goes Andrew Girodino, everybody.

Hell yeah. Weird way to start the show with the same guy that went first as last year, but the bucket of destiny has a wild way of working. So let's see what happens now. Oh, okay. Oh, wow. I actually know this guy. I believe he's from Toronto.

He's been on the show. I think he was on the first road show we ever did five years ago in Toronto. Put your hands together for Big Dave Bastion. Here we go. There he is. Fuck.

So I have a beard. Sometimes I... Sometimes I get some fucking stupid comments. Like the Duck Dynasty fuckers. Trying to go for the Duck Dynasty look? No, but I bet I can guess your IQ. It's low. Ah, fuck. Okay.

I live in Canada. Beards are fucking keeping you warm most of the time. So I trim down the sides a little bit because it's fucking hot out here. Humidity is a motherfucker around here. But that's what beards are for. Keeping you warm most of the time. So I trimmed down the sides a little bit because it's fucking hot out here. Humidity's a motherfucker around here. But that's what beards are for. Keeping you warm. Not for trimming down to a symmetrical point to line up

with your fucking man bun. And I know what you're thinking. This guy has a ponytail. You can't make fun of man buns. But you're wrong. This is a stallion tail. Fuck little bitch ponies Big Dave Bastion Wow

I've never seen anybody get exponentially worse Over five years I haven't been on stage in three years Oh okay what happened I gave up You gave up Were you winning rodeos by your belt buckles information?

My goodness. What do you mean you gave up? What happened, Big Dave Bastion? The hustle's fucking hard, man. Is it? Especially when you are not funny. I'm lazier than you guys. It's a goddamn nightmare in comedy if you do not have the ability to make an audience laugh.

So what have you been doing with yourself since you're not doing comedy anymore? Tell us about you. Cutting down trees. Still living in Toronto, working. Where do you work in? Advertising company. I change billboards.

Sorry, I'm Canadian. Oh, you change billboards. I change billboards. Wow, it's crazy that Oh, you change billboards. I change billboards. Wow, it's crazy that you work with something that you'll never be on. Here we go. Hell yeah. You ever think about just wheat pasting

your own picture up there one day? I didn't understand that. Sorry, what? Do you keep the old billboards after you take them down? Is your apartment like Lego Movie 2 as a wallpaper everywhere? I did keep one for Weiser's Whiskey,

a Canadian whiskey, because I've been drinking that shit since high school. I had a whole plan with it, but I moved away from that house and just left it for the old roommates because they were assholes. Wow.

Not for them to hang, just as a big, heavy piece of garbage. You've been drinking it since high school? Big heavy piece of garbage? What are you talking about, Jay? I gotta admit, I like his shirt. Whatever, bro. Fuck off, man. He comes at me all the time. You watch the show? Dude, I'm gonna tuck in my sleeveless shirt

and me and him are gonna beat the shit out of you. Big Dave and Big Jay. And then we're going to leave on donkeys. I love how his set was going so bad that he just started talking about the weather. Yeah. A lot of humidity here today, Skankfest. We stood outside in some fucking heat for this.

All of us. Dougie, how long have you been selling comic books in Springfield? I'm sabotaging myself right now. Come on, I shaved the neck. Louis J. dropped the mic during Louis J.'s joke during that one. For those of you that missed. He already knew it was going to be a beast. In Louis' mind, he went, I'm not going anywhere with this.

If I know me, this'm not going anywhere with this. If I know me, this one's gonna fall flat. If I know me, and I think I do, this one's gonna fall flat. You motherfuckers not laughing so hard at me? They're not laughing with me. They're not laughing with me.

They're literally laughing at me. If they stop doing that, there is no show. This is all of our livelihoods. Big Dave Bastion. How long have you been working up on billboards, just out of curiosity? Four or five years. Four or five years. Staying true to your career, you made at least one guy named Bill bored

during your set tonight. I remember you being a lot heavier last time I saw you. I fluctuate. I lost 35 pounds in the last month and a half because I'm back to trying. Me too. Not a piece of shit. Is that true, Big J?

Wow. Did you ever jerk off up on the billboard thing? Good question. No, I got to work with another guy, and he's old school. He wouldn't like that. Let's go back to back. You do it at the same time. You never brought it up while you're up there doing it.

Dude, wouldn't it be crazy if we did this? Right beside the highway. So if someone's got good eyes, that'd be great. I love it. What is that belt buckle? Led Zeppelin. But to actually tell you... Speaking of the microphone, Big Dave,

wow, you get worse every minute that you try comedy. It's incredible. Now he's stopped talking into the microphone completely. It's really uncomfortable because we hang out with these people all weekend and I love this. He's such a cool dude, but he's not funny. So I don't

know how to handle it. I have to tell him this. He quit comedy to become a fucking billboard magnate. No, dude, just become like a dude who hangs out. You're awesome at that. How many of you think Big Dave Bastion should quit again right now, live on this show?

How many of you think Big Dave Bastion should quit again right now live on this show? There you have it, Big Dave. What do you think about that? Does that mean I just leave right now? Should I just walk away? I'm curious what you think about that many people wanting you to quit right now. How does that make you feel? They're three years behind.

I quit three years ago. Then why did you sign up, man? Because I love you guys. I love this fucking show. Oh, stop being gay. I was on episode 78. Yeah, I love it. I'm going to sign up tomorrow, too. Hell yeah. All right, Big Dave.

Big Dave, the Big Jays love you. Thank you. By the way, Big J won Doug Loves Movies yesterday and won me two fucking passes to come back here again next year. And a bunch of other awesome shit and fucking... Next year I'm throwing a fucking belt

buckle on the prize pack. Who knew? I didn't know our fan base would wear fucking personalized belt buckles. Well, Big Dave, I'm gonna get another person up here. Congratulations on getting pulled out. There he goes. For the last time in public as a comedian, Big Dave Bastian.

He's got the ponytail of a gentleman. How about a hand for the band, guys? I gotta ask. I look pretty sexy with a fucking sax. The Bucket of Destiny works in crazy ways. How many of you like it when comedians do good on the show with their 60 seconds? How many of you like it when comedians do bad on the show? Hey!

There you go. That's Michael Che, ladies and gentlemen, just popping in for a second. I pulled another name out of the bucket. I mean, what? No, he's gone. No, he'll come right back up. You want to come up? You want to be out of the bucket. I mean, you was with? No, he's gone. No, he'll come right back up. Jay, you want to judge?

You want to come up? You want to be part of the show? Here we go. Why not? If there's anybody that can get me Louis C.K., that's the one that I wanted. We'll get you. Whatever you want.

Hell yeah. Just make it organic. Jay, sit the fuck down. Everybody gather up. Hell yeah. Just make it organic. Chase, sit the fuck down. Everybody gather up. Hell yes. Hell yeah. There we go. Teamwork makes the dream work. We're going with another big.

We had Big Dave Bastion. And now your next comedian, ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name of Big Drew, everybody. Big Drew is your next comedian, ladies and gentlemen, goes by the name of Big Drew, everybody. Big Drew is your next comedian on Kill Tony. Here he comes. Hold on.

Hold on. I have six sisters, and my tits are bigger than two. Talking about family and that sort of stuff, and you guys were talking about incest earlier. When I was 15, my sister offered me a blowjob. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Driving down the road, my eight-year-old niece asleep in the back of the car. She is that much of a whore. She admitted to all of us one day that at dinner that she got gangbanged by five dudes. At dinner, in front of four other sisters, mom, dad, niece, nephew, everyone.

Fucked up family. So that's only half of it, of course, you know, stepsisters and that sort of shit. Eight in total, one stepbrother. He's a carny So there's that There you go Big true Hell yeah

Hell yeah Hell yeah It was nice to have Just the average Legion of Skanks fans Represented up here Was that Was that... Was that just a guy airing his issues? How do you guys know Big Drew?

You know him from... No idea. I'm blown away how many comics have Big in front of their name. I actually met Drew outside and he actually got a tattoo downstairs and why don't you show him? It's the first one I've ever seen. Whoa!

For those of you just listening around the world, that is a true amazing Keltoni tattoo. The red and yellow. It's my first tattoo. Wow, that is so fucking cool, Big Drew. How long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Very first time. First time ever!

Wow. One could say, doing a show like this and with the way you look, we can literally say that we are making a murderer. Awesome. That is incredible. Yes, Big Jay Oakerson.

Yeah, Tony Hinchcliffe has finally fulfilled his lifelong dream of having his name on another man's body. You got me. You got me, Big Jay. And this is Big Drew. A fun fact for those of you with your Kill Tony bingo cards, this is technically the fourth comedian on this stage

with the word big starting off his name. We have two Big Jays. We had Big Dave and now Big drew what are you from drew Maryland Maryland what do you do for work I work for coke you work for what Food, coke Bills The real cola company? I do My goodness, that is exciting

Getting high on your own supply, I love it How long have you been working with them? Actually a year last week You drive a truck? No I repair fountain equipment Oh, hell yeah Actually, a year last week. You drive a truck? No. No. No? I repair fountain equipment.

Oh, hell yeah. You go to McDonald's, get a cup, fill it up. There you go. Fuck yeah. This is the guy that makes the fucking fountains possible. How exciting. First time doing stand-up. How old are you? 26.

26? Yeah. Hell yeah. What did you guys think of his first time? I didn't think he looked 26. 26? Hell yeah. What did you guys think of his first time? I didn't think he looked 26. That's a rough 26, man. What happened? Did you come from a logging town?

Fishing. Fishing town? Now you have it. Five bars within walking distance of my house. No shit? Nope. Is that your dad? That's my boy. Nope? Nope. Is that your dad? That's my boy. Nope.

Nope. I love it. My God. Whatever. You know, a lot of times you go and get a fountain soda, and you don't think to yourself, that doesn't just happen. You know what I mean? There's a person behind that, and his sister's a whore.

Yep. Exactly. Exactly. Clearly, Fountain Soda is the opposite of the Fountain of Youth. It really... I mean, I have seen you age two years in four minutes. It's incredible.

From the fountain to the mountain. The mountain, too. Good one, Lewis. Michael Che, it's your first time seeing anything on Kill Tony. How about one more big pop for Michael Che, guys? Hi.

That's got to be so nerve-wracking. You're doing comedy for the first time with this audience and these motherfuckers judging you right after. That's gotta be scary. That's the hard... You've already accomplished more than you'll ever accomplish. But

also, you've topped it. This is the mountain. This is a beautiful thing. You gotta enjoy it and soak that shit in, man. But on the bright side, you got another man's name tattooed on your arm. Hell yeah. Just one joke note, though.

You didn't have to say my eight-year-old niece. Niece was fine. You lost us there. True, true, true. I love it. Well, Big Drew, I'm telling you, you got the tattoo. You got pulled out of the bucket. And so far tonight, first time, you've had the set of the night so far.

That's awesome. Yeah. I can't imagine it going better than that. Anything else you think we should know about you before we let you go? Anything else crazy we need to know about the life of Big Drew? That's pretty much it, honestly. Wow. And that was your moment, dude.

You should have been like, a Big Drew gets that pussy. I'm passive. Do you have a girlfriend, Big Drew? Is there some Big Bertha out there that you're fucking plowing it to? Drama! Drama! Wait, what?

What are these people doing, Big Drew? Explain to us what they're saying. The people from Pepsi are screaming something in the back. Boo this man. Get him out of here. It's too sweet. I've been talking to this girl that's into DDLG.

Wow. Wow. Dirty, dirty Luis Gomez. Oh, Luis J. Unreal, dude. Unbelievable. That's hilarious. There's no episode. He got so mad he knocked over drinks.

Wait, hold on, guys. He didn't spill it on Jay. The curse has been broken. He spilled it on Jay. The closest name. I'm doing drums. Guys. There's a microphone back there.

Lewis. He's about to knock over another cup with us. Lewis, sit down. Sit down anywhere. B-B-L-J-G. Hell yeah. Full recovery. You know what? If you hadn't knocked over that drink That probably would have popped So what is DDLG?

Daddy Dominant Little Girl What? Daddy Dominant Little Girl Daddy Dominant Little Girl You're into that thing? No, this is the first I didn't even know it was a thing What did she do

Explain it man She likes tasks and commands For example She's a dog She's a real Good girl Windows 95 Microsoft computer

Bedtime. So some of the commands. Is this on? You better start spilling the fucking beans. Wear a butt plug to work. Wow. And she likes it when you tell her to do this shit? Correct.

So is that a task that you've given her before? Right into the tip of the microphone, Big Drew. There's too many, and then there's not enough. Butt plugs? I've heard of Task Rabbit, but Task Faggot? What the

fuck? Have you made her wear a butt plug to work? Yeah. What does she do for work? Works from home, so it doesn't even matter. Works... I love that accent, dude. She works from home.

It's stupid. It's stupid. Yo, she works at home. Wow. She works from home. It doesn't matter. She works from home. Wear a butt plug to work?

Just wear a butt plug around the house, you know? That's incredible. Listen, that's a beautiful thing, and I feel like that relationship's gonna work. Yeah. Well, that's it. Anything else you want to plug other than your wife's asshole? There he goes. Big Drew, everybody.

That's it. Let's keep it moving along. Drew, Drew, Drew, Drew, Drew, Drew. Got the Kill Tony tattoo today. Got pulled up for his first set and had a good set. Come on. That's great that you got pulled up.

I will also, the set of the night, I will buy a Kill Tony tattoo for. Hey. Set of the night. Heck yeah. Looks like he's going to get a second tattoo, everybody. Am I too hot on the drums? You guys can tell me to dial it back if I have to. You're doing good. You're doing good. We trust you, man. Also, Chase never even tried the drums? You guys can tell me to dial it back if I have to. You're doing good.

You're doing good. We trust you, Beck. Also, Chase never even tried the drums. He's just a black guy. Pulled another name out of the bucket. That's definitely better than any white kid would ever nail on the first shot. Make some noise for your next comedian, Danny Braff, everybody. Wow.

Here he comes. Danny Braff. I'm sorry. I didn't get the sheet music to that song. One more time for Danny Braff. 60 seconds uninterrupted starts now. Thank you. I work at Costco.

I'm one of those people that hand out samples. You meet interesting people when you hand out samples at Costco. The other day, a man walks into Costco with a shirt on that says masturbation is murder. And I chuckled, because when I see masturbation is murder,

I think, call me Ted Bundy. If masturbation's murder, they're making a Netflix documentary about every single person in this room. And if masturbation is murder, does that mean wearing a condom is kidnapping? So I chuckle, and he says, what are you laughing at, sir?

I say nothing. He says, are you laughing at my shirt? I say, no, it's okay. He says it's not okay. Billions and billions of people die every day from masturbation. And I say, on a slow day. Thank you very much. Danny Braff.

Holy shit. Wow. He's getting a standing ovation for those of you listening. Danny motherfucking Braff. You look familiar. How long have you been doing stand-up? Four years. I got on last year.

You got on last year right here. How do you feel? You just got a standing ovation at Skank Fest. That was fucking great, man. I'll tell you what it was. It was great, but when you walked up here, I was like, there is zero percent chance that he's going to have a single funny joke.

So people were blown away when you were fine. I remember you from last year I absolutely do remember man It was fucking very funny man Great job dude That was awesome When you first came out I was like This is like if Jared from Subway

Was a rapist Louis J just gave Louis J The biggest high five This is so funny They are bonding They have switched hats So This is interesting You're gonna are bonding. They have switched hats. This is interesting. You're going to like this. I mentioned last time I was on the show, I used to do magic.

I used to go to magic camp. There's a competition every year. I created a whole magic act around Jared from Subway. This was... I created it a month before he got arrested. He made his dick disinterfere into a child's room.

Yeah, baby. That was real Luis J. Gomez right there. Do you know how hard it is to have a Jared from Subway story and you be the creepy one? So what were you getting at there, Danny?

So then I created this whole thing, spent a lot of money, worked on it, and then he got arrested, but I decided to do it anyway because I spent so much fucking time. So at Magic Camp, in front of a ton of children and counselors, I did a whole act as Jared from Subway. Oh my God. Just holding giant pants in front of yourself? Yeah, I did a trick.

One of the tricks was I was wearing normal pants, and I pulled them off and then they were like fucking huge. Do you still do magic? No, not anymore. No, not anymore. Is there a magic trick that you've learned that maybe you could do for this audience right now? Oh, do your Bill Cosby piece. Do a trick. Do a trick.

Do a trick. Do a trick. What the trick. Do a trick. What the fuck do you mean you don't have anything? I could do a fucking magic trick right now. Do a magic trick. I don't have anything with me to do. Exactly. There you go.

Luis J. Gomez has a tissue ball. He grabbed it with one hand. Whoa! one hand. Louis J. Gomez just did a great fucking magic trick. I literally Are you ready? There's nothing better that works with magic than

having low expectations and I was literally expecting it to just drop out of the hand that it looked like he took it out of and it came out of his mouth how long have you had that napkin in your mouth this is what we learn he just always keeps the next a wizard never tells his secrets how How about a Amber Lewis J. Gomez revealing? I practice MMA and sorcery. Baby James loves that trick. Yeah, here's the thing.

I'm not really good at anything, but I'm okay at everything. Hey, I like that. Heck yeah. Well, Danny, anything else we need to know about you that's changed in the past year that we didn't know, find out last year? You working at Costco still? Still working at Costco.

That's it. That's about it. Yeah. Are you going to get a Kill Tony tattoo if you're the funniest one of the night? My parents would kill me. How old are you? Your parents?

Yeah. I'm 22, but they would be upset. Wow, 22. Why are you Jewish? Yeah. I'm 22, but they would be upset. Wow, 22. Why are you Jewish? Yeah. That's why. 22. But for you.

What? Nothing. So you still live with your parents? Yes. Here in New York City? New Jersey. New Jersey. What part of New Jersey?

A small town called Flemington. Flemington. Sounds like a Jewish community to me. That place has chutzpah. Jaime town. Pretty sure Ari's doing a pop-in over there right now. Hell yeah. What's the most Jewish thing about you?

His face. You're circumcised? That's it? I don't really believe in the religion, but my parents do. Wow. You'll say on a podcast that you don't believe in the religion, but you're afraid your parents will find your tattoo. Why don't we get it somewhere where your parents will never look?

Dickhead. Yeah, dude. I fucking can't. I'm sorry. Right next to your butthole, put a little kill Tony next to your spell Tony. Yeah, a little Tony's face. Make the butthole the O. I'll think about it. You'll think about it.

We know what that means. My parents will kill me. Holy hay. He's going to go anxiety about it for a while. Oh, God. They'll be, and my parents will be mad. And their parents will be mad, and their parents will be mad. I'll be the laughingstock of Flemington. What would Moses think?

How excited were your parents when they found out that you got a job at a bulk discount store? What are you doing? Selling francs in bulk? How many Wheat-Dens could somebody need? Did they use your membership, your parents? I don't get a membership. I use their membership, actually.

Oh, wow. Don't you think your parents are gonna be upset if you turn down a free tattoo? A hundred percent. It's great. You're spot on, Red Band. Don't you think your parents are going to be upset if you turn down a free tattoo? It's great. You're spot on, red band. Spot on. My boy got a tattoo on his schmeckle?

I will disown you forever. But, Dad, it was free. Come here. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Danny Braff with so far the set of the night. He's in the running to get a free tattoo. A Jewish oxymoron. Get yourself a tattoo when you took us. Who's going to know the difference?

I liked him. Heck yeah. You guys having fun out there? I've always wanted to do that. We've seen this guy before. He's absolutely insane. Put your hands together for Reverend Johnny Stewart, everybody. Here we go. It's happening. Here we go. I have a giant rainbow flag. I put it on the back of my Ford F-250.

And I've been driving around town with this rainbow flag. I'm not a fucking faggot or nothing. The point is, back in the day, God was angry with the gays. They were getting out of control with the partying and the butt sex and the sodomy. God sent a great flood to wipe all the butt fuckers from the earth and the rest of the people that weren't on the boat. Took a step back, said maybe I fucked up a little bit. So then in order to let you know he's not gonna flood the gays away, he says a rainbow after every storm.

Couple thousand years later, all the goddamn people doing all the goddamn sodomy, reappropriated it as some butt-fucking pride flag. So now I'm taking it back in the name of the Lord, you guys. God changed his mind once. He may again, you sinners. I'm looking out for you

just spitting his face. You're just a fucking fag about it. I can say that at Skank Fest. Hey. Hey. Reverend Johnny, everybody. Get up. Hey. Reverend Johnny, everybody. Fuck yeah.

Or as I call him, Little J. Oakerson. Nice club. Feel however you feel about the set. The history checks out. That's how it went down. Historically accurate. Not funny. True.

It's in the book. Reverend Johnny, we've seen you before. How long have you been doing stand-up? History. Stand-up. Like seven years by now? Since you looked at me. I'm sorry. Seven years.

Seven years? Jesus. I'll be honest. I thought you were going to say it was your first time. No wonder he doesn't believe in God. Yeah. Reverend John, you live in L.A., yeah? Yeah.

The first time I met you was outside the comedy store. By the way, we had a whole thing on Kill Tony. This is the guy that I pulled the sword on, and everyone was freaking out. Yeah. And now everyone understands why I pulled the sword on him. He's not good. He deserves to be dead for his unfunnyness. Reverend Johnny, let me ask you a question.

You seem like you were a bad kid. Yeah. Were you? Kind of. I mean, the schizophrenia, it's kind of illegal to arrest you if they talk to you for a minute, and then it's just like, oh, we just got to put this kid in a 5150. So I don't have a record since I turned 18.

Is it actually illegal to arrest you? It's like fucked up, yeah. Is that just what the voices say? Yeah. So you went to the psych ward a few times? Yeah, a few times. Yeah, like what's the longest you ever stayed in one? Two weeks probably.

I don't know. That was like teenage shit. Right. Now that you're all grown up, you never went back. Yeah, now you got it together. He's got a Legion of Skanks tattoo. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

Right above the scar Where he burned himself With a car lighter So he could feel something I Heard Myself Fucking Dave won the The

Doug Loves Movies And got the free tattoo thing And then he didn't want to get a tattoo On his ass So then I was like I'll give you 20 bucks for it And I got the fucking Got the tattoo Thanks doggy Fuck yeah then I was like, I'll give you 20 bucks for it. And I got the fucking tattoo.

Thanks, doggy. Fuck yeah, baby boy. Crushing it. I love it. Spread this shit around the house. I got no problem with Reverend Johnny. Look, Reverend Johnny stinks. It's not a problem, though.

He sort of has the whole spirit of Skank Fest. We brought him here this year. He's actually performing on other shows here at Skank Fest. He's a fucking degenerate. But to be honest with you, I think if we didn't book him, he would probably hurt me and my family. So we gave him the opportunity

and he wasted it. Wow, look at that. Free tattoo. That's pretty sweet. Isn't it nice when old sword rivals bury the hatchet? It's true. Reverend Johnny, how do you survive?

How do you make money? I may or may not work at a weed delivery company in LA. That's true Reverend Johnny, how do you survive? How do you make money? I may or may not work at a weed delivery company In LA He looks through cars and parking lots for change Oh shit How about a weed delivery service called Seedless That's good

That's good, that should have got more Watermelon flavored Wow, and you drive? Well fuck you Reverend Johnny You drive the car You deliver pot By driving

What kind of car do you have? Civic hybrid Civic hybrid What a hybrid? I would not guess You weren't a hybrid Energy efficient buddy Yeah Guess you weren't a hybrid. Energy efficient, buddy. Buddy.

Leave a light carbon footprint, buddy. Joel? He looks like a hybrid of Louis and Jay. So it checks out. I'll fucking fight you. Lewis. Alright, so Reverend Johnny, it was good to see you again.

You got on again. How do you feel like tonight's set went? You've been doing this seven years. That was the 62nd set. How do you feel about it? It was cool. I dig it, man. It's official. He's schizophrenic, everybody. That's it. Thanks to Wynn. It's official. He's schizophrenic, everybody. That's it. Thinks the wind cool. One more time for Reverend Johnny, everybody. Come on.

Hell yeah. Back to the bucket we go. How cool is this? An all-star packed stage for Kill Tony. Room is full capacity. Let's see what happens now.

Put your hands together for your next comedian, Brandon Garrison, everyone. Here we go. Brandon Garrison. Oh, here he comes. Wow. Here he comes. Wow. Here he comes. Brandon Garrison.

What's up, everybody? I hate the... Sorry, my voice. I hate the saying, you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up. For instance, I don't believe in police officers. Should be dwarfs. The other way around.

Fuck. Boo. Fuck. Suicide's cool, huh? I mean, I don't... I haven't done it yet, but I'm really fascinated. I'm really fascinated by the people that kill themselves, or that attempt to kill themselves, and they fail.

For instance, in my hometown, a guy pulled up to a gas station, doused himself with gas and lit the match. And my sister was the nurse who ended up having to take care of him. And she was telling me, she goes, God, so sad, right? And all I could think was, how much do you prepay? Thank God. Thank fucking God. There you go.

There you go. Surprisingly, not the worst beating I've ever seen TJ Dillashaw take. Oh, fuck. That was incredible. I've never seen a guy... You're an interesting looking guy.

You have no chin and you have a nice looking beak on you there. You got one of those Jeremiah Watkins noses over there. It looks a lot like Alec Baldwin when he tries to scare the people out of his house in the movie Beetlejuice and he stretches

his face. That's what you look like in the body that God gave you. It's depressing. You look like a young body that God gave you. It's depressing. You look like a young Mr. Burns. Hey, he does. There's Jay Gomez. Hey, there's your first Joel Berg chant of the night.

Ooh. Just when you thought his head couldn't get any bigger if you saw it last night at Naked Roast. Triple potato. Also, by the way, I held his dick at one point. I was on a lot of drugs last night. I don't even know. You did what?

That wasn't even on stage. What? Like just in private? Yeah. No, after the show, I went up to him and I picked up his dick. Oh, dude, how heavy was it? It was so heavy. Like, have you ever held it?

You remember the first time you held a gun? You were like, oh my God, this is dangerous. Yeah, this is fucking steel. Get this away from me. Wow. I did not realize it was going to be that heavy. Cocked and loaded, right? Yeah, dude.

Cocked. So, Brandon Garrison, how long have you been doing stand up comedy Like four months Where do you live Salt Lake City Utah What do you do for work Maintenance What kind of maintenance exactly

Just like homes Businesses I work for a maintenance company We go around various rental properties. I get it. What do you do for fun when you're not working? I play a lot of pool. Really?

Barbecue. You have a nose that can do a lot of eight balls. What a Salt Lake City guy, though. What do you do for fun? Just look out. Walk. Find a nice stick. Paint a leaf.

Other than pool, what else did you say? Barbecue. Barbecue. Let me ask you something. When you're... When you're... Marinate stuff.

Do pastry prep. Barbecue. You have a specialty on the grill? You like Tony Soprano or something like that? What's going on? Yeah, man. I mean, I don't know. Just I'll fuck up some brisket.

Wow. Some pulled pork. Yeah, yeah. Damn. Hell yeah. I'd imagine you just let that fucking use your nose. It's like one of those ventilator hoods over and over.

Yeah. What if his nostrils are so big he just knows? He goes, these are rare. Doug Benson. Doug Benson! I recognize this guy. There's the elephant from my show.

I'm glad it's still around. I just wanted to mention this guy. There's the elephant from my show. I'm glad it's still around. I just wanted to mention this guy. He played the phonograph on the Flintstones. Make some noise for Doug Benson, everybody. One of our elite guests as far as amount of appearances, for sure. We love him here at Kill Tony. appearances for sure. We love him here at Kill Tony. I'm sorry.

We'll see him again soon. He's so great. Where'd he go? He's totally gone, right? Can I say like a comedy thing though with him? Yeah. Honestly, he was really once he settled in, like after 30 seconds or so, he settled in and actually told a joke and it landed way more

than the awkward saying hi part. So maybe he was good. Yeah. It's the classic. Michael Che, are you saying right now you can't figure out if someone's a great comic in 60 seconds of comedy? Are you being so bold as to right now say

you cannot judge a comedian by 60 minutes of comedy? I'm saying a lot of guys, they got super comfortable and still sucked. But he got comfortable and so did the good ones. Hell yeah. I think he's in running for the Kill Tony tattoo, to be honest.

I love it. He's in the running. You heard it from Louis. Please, I already got the Legion. We got it. Heck yeah. He's in the running. You saw it here Fuck yeah, dude. Heck yeah. All right. Well, he's in the running. You saw it here. It's Brandon Garrison, everybody.

Let's keep it moving along. You guys ready to watch another set or what? There we go. I've met some fun people the last two days telling me that they're signing up. Sorry, guys. I got to take a shit, I guess. It's all good. Yeah.

Oh, okay. There he goes. All right, so put your hands together for your next comedian, Spencer O'Neill, everybody. 60 seconds for Spencer. Wow, he's right here. There he is. Sorry, you're cool. I like to argue and debate

And I like everything that comes along with that Like logical fallacies, ad hominems And I recently learned one that's called Godwin's Law And if you don't know what that is It states that if a debate or a conversation goes on long enough Inevitably somebody will mention Hitler And that is a sign that the conversation is now over. So I've started to use this to get out of conversations

I don't want to be in, you know? So I just bring up Hitler as soon as possible. Like, for example, I'll be driving down the street, and I get pulled over in a car. I'll be like, you know who else used to pull people over? Hitler. And then I'll drive away, because the conversation's over. And then I'll be in court, and they'll be like, you know who else used to pull people over? Hitler. And then I'll drive away, because the conversation's over. And then I'll be in court, and they'll be like,

this guy says he did nothing wrong. I'll be like, you know who else did nothing wrong? Hitler. I feel like you guys get it. Am I out of time? No? You do become known as the Hitler guy, though. So when you're walking down the street, somebody's like, hey, it's the Hitler guy though So when you're walking down the street

Somebody's like hey it's the Hitler guy And you're like hey how's it going There you go Look at that A real one joke Stayed in the pocket Got better as it went Hit it

Set it up Punchline Tag tag tag There you go that was a real set How long have you been on comedy? Six years. Six years. Hell yeah.

That seems like it. That was excellent, man. And for a festival run by a podcast who's been called a Nazi quite a bit lately, I enjoyed that. I wrote it specifically for Lewis. He was really on brand. Yeah.

He only brought me here because I'm German. Yeah, I know Spencer. Spencer's a fucking pro, dude. He just brought me here because I'm German. I know Spencer. Spencer's a fucking pro, dude. He just moved from Seattle to LA and he's a killer. Besides you being legitimately racist in real life, I think you're going to actually have a lot of success in this business.

I'm actually very uncomfortable being this close to a Puerto Rican. Damn. I love that. That's two Puerto Ricans, you son of a bitch. I don't speak Spanish. I have no idea what you said.

How long... Louis's? Louis's, please. Louis's, please. Do you speak MMA, motherfucker? I almost got mugged. Did you see that? That was fucking terrifying.

Spencer, how long has it been since you moved from Seattle to Los Angeles? About two weeks. Two weeks? That's incredible. Have you been to the Comedy Store yet? Yeah, it was there last Monday. How'd that go for you? I did good.

Did you get up in Potluck? Okay. Did you sign up for Kill Tony? No. I was going to when I got back, and then it was here. Oh, okay, cool. Well, no, I love it. That makes sense.

That's so great that you were able to get pulled for potluck for your first time at the Comedy Store. I didn't have any shows today, so I figured, why not? That's great. And swing by on a Monday. Say hi to us, and we'll introduce you to everybody around there, and we'll make you feel like part of the family. Can I plug something?

Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Spencer wants to say something. I'm on the 6 p.m. showcase in the basement tomorrow. This nigga's got plugs. There you go. Weird plug. Welcome to another episode of Weird Plugs.

I'm on the 6 p.m. show in the basement. You put up a ringer. That's not the spirit of the fucking game. Yeah, he was great. Six years in the game, a perfect minute-long set. How about one more time for Spencer O'Neal? 6 p.m., basement tomorrow.

Don't miss it. Alright. This is going to be be exciting I can just tell I love one word names this guy has an interesting one word name put your hands together

for Casper everyone it's motherfucking Casper hopefully he's a friendly friendly ghost I don't see any movement. Does anyone see any movement? Is somebody coming?

Casper? Caspel? Oh, that's jazz. Is there movement happening back there? Can you guys see movement? Apparently nobody here likes jazz. Okay, blacklisted. All right, there you go

You just got ghosted by Casper That's crazy, that's true Here he is, here he is Here he is, it's Casper Ladies and gentlemen How's everybody doing? Alright, cool Hey, so when I was a kid I had pale skin

Freckles and red hair Now that was a kid, I had pale skin, freckles, and red hair. Now that I don't, I consider myself transgender. Other day, I found out I had an STD. It's not too big of a deal. It was a yeast infection. The way I found out was kind of weird, though. I took a shit, I turned around, and there was a French baguette sitting in the toilet. Later that day, I jerked off off and I came a crescent roll. I think I know who gave it to me too. I fucked a bagel last week. It was an everything bagel, so I know that she got around.

Other day, I was down in Compton I adopted a dog and you know It's like a really good dog but I think it just like Took some traits from like it's old owner Um I tried taking it for a walk And it takes me like a half hour to get around the block But that's cause it's just like trailing behind me like Uh Heck yeah

There he is ladies and gentlemen Casper Casper. Casper. Yeah, real. Casper, you have the energy of like a guilty uncle who's trying to talk himself out of molesting his niece. Oh, I didn't sign up. I shouldn't do this, man.

I shouldn't. This is wrong. No, that was good. Casper, are you actually the. Casper, are you actually the Casper from the movie Kids? Let's check in with the biggest Jay Oakerson

over there. This guy is like Mark Norman with no punchlines. It really is. He has a very interesting look, too. For those of you listening, he looks like if James Franco dove into a pool of CBD. You are so

just mellowed out. You stoned right now? A little. Hell yeah. James Blanco. He looks like Edgar Allan Poe boy. Casper, how long have you been doing stand-up? I started when I was like 20. I'm 23 now. So three years, Casper.

Not consistently. That's it. I started when I was 20. I'm 23 now. Anybody's guess. You do the math. Yeah. I love it. You don't have to show your work, man. You do the math. You do the math. Yeah. I love it.

So you're 23 years old. You've been doing it for three years. How do you make a living? I bust tables right now. Wow. Yeah. Jesus Christ. That's incredible.

I used to sell cars, and I bankrolled some money, and that job sucks, and then I quit, and I got like two months left. You didn't bankroll money. Shut the fuck up. Dude, I fucking. No. Five left. You didn't bankroll money. Shut the fuck up. No. Five grand, dude. I'm fucking loaded. What the fuck? Five grand, dude. That's like a year in fucking Thailand. What kind of car?

Chevys. You went to Thailand? Yeah, I went to Thailand in 2018. Wow, man. Just children, bro. I was going to say you're not helping this pedophile thing. That's how pedophiles count their money, how many years in Thailand they can buy them.

Five grand? I just got myself two years of sweet, sweet Thailand. What do you do for fun, Casper? I play a lot of Fortnite. No. Dude, do you have a PS4 Casper? I play a lot of Fortnite. No. Dude, do you have a PS4 here? I tried to add you. PR Rattlesnake, that's my username.

No, I tried adding you. I play on PS4, so I tried adding you. If you don't have an Epic, I can't play with you. I have Epic. We're fine. We're going to play. Are you good? Pretty good, dude. How many solo wins? Only nine. But I started playing like six months ago. Get the fuck out of here, dude. How many solo wins? Only nine. But I started playing like six months ago. Get the fuck out of here, dude. Six months ago.

I started learning. Get the fuck out of here. I just started editing. Garbage. I'm killing editing right now. I'm killing it. Hey, do you two teenage girls want to get back to the job at hand? I'm sorry.

That last minute felt like something that could happen as an after show conversation. I'm 100% on one. So you used car salesman, bankrolled something, and now you're a fucking bus boy. How long have you been bussing tables for? And how bad do you want to get these empty drinks off of this table right now? Dude, I cleaned up those napkins when the spill came.

I ran up for like half a second, and then the security. It did take you quite a while. That is one slow bus boy. What type of restaurant are we talking about? It's like a bar restaurant. It's pretty cool. It's called the Social Hall, Tempe, Arizona. If you're there, come on out.

Weird plug. Welcome to another episode of Weird Plugs. Dude, I'm not going to raise or something. That's just more work for you if people come to the restaurant. I'm not going to tip you. Come on out. No one's got a problem if you leave a drink wherever or whatever. Throw your glass anywhere.

I'll figure it out. Can I admit something? Sure. I didn't sign up today. I got in too late, and I told my girlfriend I'd come up if somebody didn't show up. Oh, you're the worst. Boo this man. Get him out of here. Get him out of here. Put the mic in the mic stand and go.

Really? You're an idiot. You're an idiot. Security! Boo this man. Do not stop booing this man. Boo this man! Boo!

Boo this man. Boo. Boo this man. I called him Casper. All right. God. Oh, shit. That's hilarious. All right. Pull. Oh, shit. That's hilarious. All right. Pulled another one name out.

Put your hands together for Dustin, everybody. It's Dustin Dekel. Here we go. Dustin Dekel's coming to the stage. I'm positive of it. Here he is. It's a real human being. He looks like a Dustin.

How about you make some noise for Dustin, guys? It's really him. I can tell. Holy shit. I'm actually Dustin, so no worries there. Also, just wanted to look out to Reverend Johnny here. You're looking at the child of a bull dyke. So I hope you like what you see here, boy.

Anyway, though, so this is kind of awkward now. I'm sorry, Tony. Wow. This is incredible. Skankfest for him. Flew in here from Seattle. This is crazy. I answered the phone on accident when my mom called earlier today, and I usually do a better

job of, you know, not answering the phone when she calls. And in this case, she calls me and she's like, Dustin, I don't even know who you are anymore. And I just kind of sat there quietly and I said, Mom, you don't even know who you are. You're a bull dyke and you think you're a lipstick lesbian. Okay, no bull dyke jokes about your mom are okay at Skank Fest, apparently. Hopefully this minute

is... I'm sorry, it's not funny. I wish it was. I think it's more your jokes about your mom being a bull dyke at Skank Fest that didn't work. How about one more time for Dustin, everyone? Sorry, guys. If you really, you know...

Holy fuck. I feel like your lesbian mom should have scissored you at birth. I think so, too. She should have hit the abort button, probably. Dustin, I want you to realize something. We were having so much fun before you came up here. It was like we were having

the best gang fest we've ever had. I like the blaming of the crowd not being able to handle it. It's my favorite thing in comedy. It's like, and my mom's a dumb, fat bull dyke. Oh, I'm sorry, snowflakes. You princesses. You guys too fucking pussy to hear the real truth. And of all the places to think that the audience didn't want to hear Bulldike jokes,

we built this festival for Bulldike jokes. True. That's the whole point. Let's check in with Michael Che back there on drums. White guys don't know how to say hi. Everybody up here struggled with saying hi. You guys are terrible at first impressions. Yeah.

And then, like, it takes 45 terrible at first impressions. And then it takes 45 seconds for you to get one thing out and then if that thing isn't good, we get really mad at you. I think Michael's spot on. Everybody coming up here so far has pretty much spent the first

20 seconds going, wow, I can't believe this happened. I didn't think I was going to get pulled. A lot of the class flew all the way from Seattle. Every single thing that you said made us like you less and less and less. It was incredible. If you have nothing to say, why do you walk up here so fast?

Take some time, man. I literally have been... I went to the Seattle show, the Portland show. Oh, wow. Game up here. This is my very first time show, the Portland show. Oh, wow. Game up here. This is my very first time ever being on a stage. Oh, cool. Well, congratulations.

No, don't clap it up for him. Don't make us feel bad for your horseshit. No, no. We're having a good time, man. You're trying to ruin Skank Fest. This guy might be the guy that is single-handedly going to Rune Skank Fest. Wow, we are watching Lewis's Molly wear off live

on Kill Tony right now. No, man, fuck this guy. We should kill this guy tonight. Nobody's more thrilled than the last guy who was on stage who's like, I think the heat's off me for a second. Dustin, what do you do for work? I work in insurance.

Insurance. Hell yeah. You do comedy like an insurance guy too. What's interesting about you? What's a saving grace for us to find a redeeming quality to make us feel like you're not just there like a regular plain Lego man? I mean, I thought the bull dyke stuff was going to be enough, but... When you say your mom was a bull dyke,

what exactly do you mean? Your mom was a lesbian, a big manly lesbian that fucked a dude and got pregnant with you? Exactly. And then once she had you, she started just eating a bunch of pussy? She was prior, so it was kind of an arranged deal. Oh, she just wanted to have a baby.

Exactly. And she let some dude be a human dildo for a night. Did she test tube it, or did she actually let him? No, real thing. Oh, she cried the whole time. She was like, it's rape. Most likely. That's brutal.

Why don't you just do slam poetry? It's way up your alley. I'll try that. I'm an adult now, daddy, mommy. Daddy, mom, me. Mom, me. Daddy. I'd like to let you know, Dustin.

Society, government, good night. You did follow in the footsteps of your mother here tonight because you fucking ate it the entire time you were here. I did. So we're just going to keep it moving along. One more time for Dustin.

We're getting through this bucket. We're flying through it. All right. I love it. Let's keep flying. Next comedian, Carlos Armendariz. Carlos Armendariz. Ah, here he comes.

Here's some diversity, baby. Carlos Armendariz. Here he comes. Heck yeah. I'm the diversity hire on this show. Listen, I had to get that out of the way. I'm Mexican because I know what I look like. I know I look like, you know, you call, you would call me up if, like, your internet goes down, you know. I know, like, my name is probably, like, Preston or something like that. I did go to Mexico, man, a couple years ago. I got to meet my biological dad for the first time. And I met him, man.

I was like, what happened, dude? 26 years. And he was like, you know how it is. And I was like, no, dude, this is why I'm here. And then four months later, he dies before Christmas. And I'm like, talk about a fucking deadbeat, right? Talk about a week before. I'm like, it's fine, dude.

I got an actual dad, all right? I got an actual, like, I got a dad. I got his last name and everything. He's a stepdad. Like, it's fine. But, uh. Oh, my God a stepdad. Like, it's fine. But, uh... All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. Thank you. You know what? And by the way, whoever said boo out there, boo you, motherfucker. Like, it's like, did you sign up tonight? No. Fucking weirdos. It's like the one catch sometimes is every once in a while,

a real YouTube commenter will break into the show and just fucking boo at 54 seconds. With Sixth, you couldn't hold your fucking mouth shut. Tony, they're not wrong. This is the only festival where someone will get booed for saying they have a father. Also, there's a chance that was...

Carlos, I noticed a little bit of a Mexican accent or a full-blown speech impediment that you have. A little bit of both. Yeah, a little bit of both. No, it's Mexican. I noticed that you say your S is weird.

Can you give us an example? The two guys that fought on your shirt, can you say their names? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Stone Cold and Shawn Michaels. Shut up, dude. You really tried hard. Shut the fuck up with your voice. Say Stone Cold's full name.

Go ahead. Without thinking about it too hard, you speech impediment motherfucker. Stone Cold's full name. Go ahead. Without thinking about it too hard, you speech impediment motherfucker. All right, hold on. Say Sally sells seashells by the seashore. Yeah, three times. Sally sells seashells by the seashore. Seashells.

Seashell does. I love his voice. It's adorable. I could listen to it forever. How long have you been doing comedy? Seven years. About to be a year. A year. A year. Where at? Atlanta.

Atlanta? Heck yeah. You ever get jumped down there? Not yet. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. I want to bully you right now. I can't imagine you surviving in Atlanta. This is incredible. El boot. What do you do for work?

I paint houses. You paint houses? Yeah. That's Mexican, all right. Yeah. I'll tell you where he threw me. Didn't he say in the beginning of your study, he was like, you know, I'm Mexican,

so, you know, no no I can't fix your computer is that a fucking something is that a stereotype that's been laid on Mexicans did you mean steal your computer nah cause people confuse me for Indian a lot so right because of the way you sound yeah exactly

when you're painting houses how how often are you smelling that paint? Did you always sound like this? Every 77 days. You know what's funny? You know the people that sell dish memberships at Walmart and stuff? Yeah, totally, the memberships.

Absolutely, I know everything about it. Stone Co. C. Boston and Shawn Michaels. She show, she show, but and Shawn Michaels. Say it, so she show by the social. She show, show, show. Go ahead. So, so they,

so the guys, they try to start up conversations with you and they're like, what do you do? And I was like, I paint. And he was like, what are you doing here, man? You should be in New York,

you know, like you're an artist. I was like, no, man, I paint houses, dude. And it was like, the disappointment in doing here, man? You should be in New York, you know? Like, you're an artist? I was like, no, man, I paint houses, dude. And it was like the disappointment in his face was just... Yeah, the disappointment in his face was bad. It really, really was.

But that's just the way the cookie crumbles, you know? Carlos, I've never talked to a man that sounds like he's eating pussy at all times and trying to talk at the same time. Do you have a girlfriend? No. We're fucking. Uh-oh.

A special someone, maybe? Yeah. You been talking to someone? Yeah. You ever wipe away the toilet paper rolled up in her pussy cracks? Where do you meet this girl? Tinder. Tinder?

Wow, hell yeah. That's a great place to meet someone when you have a voice like yours. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I'm this tall, I'm sure you can relate, Tony. You know, when you're... No, yeah, I'm sure you can relate, Tony. I'm 5'9", you fucking doofus.

I can't believe there's this Tony is short stereotype just because I stand next to Big J too often. No, I can't relate. How tall are you? 5'6". Yeah. Right dwarf. Joel, what do you think about this? Do you see him 5'6"?

Measure him against your dick. Is that just what he has on his Tinder profile? How tall are you, Joel? 5'8. Oh, okay. Yeah, that about measures up. So you met her on Tinder, and then what happened? Where did you guys meet?

Just at a bar. Just at a bar? Yeah, yeah. Heck yeah. And as a guy that sounds like a catfish himself, do you think... You want to sit down for some cocktails? Hell yeah. You're looking really spectacular tonight.

So you went out, and how many drinks did you have? I think it was like three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't imagine... Seven. I can't imagine what you must sound like after several drinks Donald Duck

you wanna get the fuck out of here he actually it cleans up so it goes the opposite he's like hello it's great to have you here. Let's go back to my place. What do you say we go back to your place and I'll shove stuff in your pussy?

Fun stuff. So did you close the deal? Did you get laid that first night? Oh, yeah, yeah. Wow. That is so exciting. You went back to your place or her place? Her place. Yeah. It was a nice place? Did you notice anything weird?

Was there something sort of odd? She couldn't understand when you were telling her your address. 1333. I've showed up at 66 wrong places already. Alright. So Carlos, you closed that night. That is so exciting.

You just had regular condom sex? Yeah, yeah. What kind of condom did you use? Do you remember? Yeah, they're called like skin condoms. They call it anything without an S. Jesus. My prophylactic of choice?

Skin. Heck yeah. Last thing I want to do is cut syphilis. It's like droopy dog, you know, from Warner Brothers. Oh, where's my... Never mind. Carlos, what's something we'd be surprised to know about you? Something in your past?

You ever save somebody's life or almost die? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mother fucker. I almost forgot. I was in a prison gang for 23 years. Yeah, one time I saw someone get in an accident, like in a freeway.

And then there was a bunch of traffic, and I got out of the car to like help him get out of the car and I was wearing like a stupid Superman t-shirt at the time.

Stupid Superman. It's always with an S. Why is nothing in your story ever sold with a nice T? Could have been Aquaman, dude. I was wearing

suspenders and my starter socks and my... I was like William Thetner from Thoroughbred. It was a super cool shirt that was a size small. I got out of my

sedan and I slipped on shock attach. I hate to be super fluid, but... Wow. Well, Carlos, how long have you been on stand-up? One year.

Congratulations, man. You did it here tonight. Did you have fun? Do you have jokes about the way you sound? No. You really, really, really need to focus on that. And I'll bet you it's probably something that maybe you've been picked on sort of throughout life for. Did people make fun of you as a kid for it?

Surprisingly not. Just behind your back. Where were you raised again? What was that? Where were you raised? Atlanta. Atlanta. Heck yeah.

They have so much things that they hate about you other than your speech impediment in Atlanta. One of the only Mexicans in Atlanta. You got to make a story up for it like you took a baseball to the throat or something. Yeah, I like that. Dude, my tongue was super glued to the roof of my mouth. It was a crazy fraternity, Frank. All right. Well, Carlos, you did it here

tonight. We're going to get back to this bucket. We spent a lot of time with you. Can I say one more thing? Oh, wow. He wants to say something with us, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, Mr. Gomez, for putting this thing together, man. I really... Hey, I'm having a blast. I'm having a blast.

Thank you. Thank you. I swear to God. I swear to God. I thought it was going to be like... Superb. Can I just say one more thing? Let those children

out of those cages. What do you guys think? Should we go back to the bucket again, huh? Let's do this shit. Damn. Let's make some magic happen. Put your hands together for Kevin Escobar, everybody. Kevin Escobar.

Here he comes. Nope, that's not him. Kevin Escobar, make room. Here he comes. Here comes Kevin. One more time for Kevin Escobar. 60 seconds uninterrupted to Kevin Escobar. 60 seconds uninterrupted to Kevin Escobar. Here he is. Hi, Kevin.

Hola, como esta? Hola, mi gente, como estan? Todo bien? Yeah? Any Latinos in the house? No, I don't think so, right? Any racists in the house? Yeah, everybody.

All right. Anyway, step away from that. Has anyone here ever had a three-way before? Liars, fucking liars. Anyway, I've had a three-way before, you know, a regular three-way, involved myself and two young ladies, just like God intended. Pick a God, it doesn't matter. But most recently, my fiance and I, you know, we're in bed, I'm on top, we're having intercourse, whatever you want to call it. And we have three cats, right?

so, yeah he's shaking his head so one of them decided to jump on the bed and I guess he likes big furry balls and just swatted in my sack I know it's not a three way to brag about but I came super hard right? it was pretty amazing but now we have to keep the door locked because she said so but what about my orgas hard, right? It was pretty amazing. But now we have to keep the door locked because she says so.

But what about my orgasm, right? There you go. All right, Kevin Escobar. Heck yeah. Kevin motherfucking Escobar. First time on Kill Tony, right? Yes, sir. How long have you been doing stand-up?

A year. A year. Where at? I live in Flushing, Queens, so mostly around the five boroughs. The five boroughs. Heck yeah. I feel like you should flush those jokes down the toilet. Yeah. I don't know. It usually kills. I don't know what's going on today. Huh. Neither do we. I swear. I don't know. What do kills. I don't know what's going on today. Huh. Neither do we.

I swear. I don't know. What do you do for work, Kevin? I'm an audio engineer for a bank. Audio engineer for a band? Yes. Oh, very cool. You know, with all of their awesome audio.

Banks. Yeah. All right. Okay. So, Kevin, you're born and raised in Queens? Yes, sir Yeah, do you say your S is weird a little bit too? Am I noticing a little?

I mean, right now I have Invisalign in So it fucks me up a bit My God You always wear your Invisalign? I have to because then it's a waste of money My goodness How long have you had that in your mouth for? A year, I have a week left

You have one week left How excited are you? I'm very excited because you can't eat pussy with these things on. Wow. I don't think that's what's keeping you from eating pussy. Why? Why can't you eat pussy with something covering your teeth? Are you trying to actually

eat the pussy? Exactly. Are we talking about your three cats again? Biggest Jay Oakerson. Oh, I was just going to say it's time to start munching and invisidine. Are you really that shocked that people have threesomes? Like you think people are lying?

Yeah. You poor thing how long you been with your lady for uh eight years eight years see that's why it's crazy to you you're like a religious good boy it's like sober and i mean i am sober but i'm not religious right but you're sober and uh so you've been with the same lady for eight years and a spartan race last week. I messed up my arm. I just never seen a guy just have an ace bandage

for no reason. Why is that? Why are you wearing that? I did a Spartan race last week, so I messed up my forearm. A race like a foot race? How'd you fuck up your elbow in a foot race? Spartan race? I don't a foot race? Spartan race.

What's a Spartan race? I don't know what a fucking Spartan race is. I'm saying it like niggas know that shit. There were a few black people in the room. I heard the syllables. Spartan. Yeah. Still doesn't ring a bell, dude.

I've also... Who makes your elbow fucking brace? Like FUBU? Why is it such a bag? I thought he was wearing long johns. That's what I thought. I thought it was long johns under the shirt. I got to ask, Kevin, what is a Spartan race?

Yeah, what is a fucking Spartan race? I'm trying to explain, sir. Just explain it. It's an obstacle course. You climb things. What's in the obstacle course? You carry rocks up hills and fucking climb ropes. Like mud shit and stuff, right?

Yeah, exactly. Swim in dirty water. White people shit. That sounds like the opposite of white people shit. There are a lot of white people there, bro. I'm going back to when you asked, any racist here? So anyway, it didn't even have anything to do with anything.

You're just gauging the room. Your last name is Escobar. What ethnicity are you? I'm Colombian. Wow, hell yeah. So they're used to carrying rocks up mountains. It's that big cocaine joke. Colombian.

I guess so. Your family from direct descendants? Were you born there? Both my parents say they're from Colombia, and I was born here. What if ice shows up at the door? Then what do they say?

What was what? Ice. What if ice... All right, forget it. Hitting too close to home. I collect recycling every night. The one they gave my boy. Invisible braces.

The braces are El Blanco. El Blanco. El Blanco. What does the lady that you've been with for eight years do? She is also an audio engineer for a different bank. Wow. Can you say the band that you've been with for eight years do? She is also an audio engineer for a different bank. Wow. Can you say the band that you work with? It rhymes with shitty.

With shitty? Yes. The name of the band is Shitty, S-H-I-T-T-Y? No, a band. No. The bank. Shitty. I swear to God, I thought you said band, too.

Oh, my God. You're an audio engineer for a bank? Were you just saying a bank that is city? I didn't say that. It's city bank. He's an audio engineer for city bank. I said earlier on, I pointed out how weird it was, and everyone looked at me like I was an asshole.

An audio engineer? And I was right. Why would a fucking bank have an audio engineer? Fuck everyone. Fuck you. Suck my dick. That's like, I'm an executive producer at a pizza place.

Wells Fargo. That is hilarious that Lewis got it before the entire room, but we're so used to him being Lewis that when he said it, we all went, shut up. Keep going about your shitty band. So you and your chick are both audio engineers for banks.

Where did you meet on your seven hours of smoke break a day? Come in, tap a few of the microphone, make sure the three holes on the glass are working. Wait, are you for English press one? No. That'd be an easier job.

It's the only audio. It's the only fucking audio at the bank. You gotta be for English press one. Yeah, what audio specifically do you work on? Do you fix the retarded ATM? Like, hey, Ray Charles, I promise this is all 20s. Rich people, these bankers

like using giant screens and microphones to talk to other rich people in China or India. I gotta make sure they sound good. Oh, you set up shit for conference calls and shit. Auditoriums and stuff like that, yeah. I got it. Any other fun facts about Kevin Escobar that we'd be surprised to know? What makes you different than everybody else?

I mean, I actually do comedy in Spanish, too. Oh, wow. I'm trying out for HBO Latino July 10th. Can we hear a little one-liner in Spanish? A quick one? Just like a little, like, if you have anything super short. For Spanish, press two. Just like a quick one-liner And I'm gonna see if Joel Berg laughs at this or not Alright

Did he just say the N-word in Spanish? Yeah, I heard nega I don't know what the fuck nega means It's just his speech impediment. Do you and your chick ever fuck in the bank vault like Scrooge McDuck? Yeah. Good question.

One in the bank, two in the stank. You know what I'm saying? One in the city, one in the shitty. One in the Wells Fargo, one in that back cargo. Tony, I was right with you that he worked for a band named Shitty. You got to take them Invisaligns out for the show, man. I know.

If I take the Invisalign out, my teeth will come completely back to where they were a year ago. I could work for Shitty. My goodness. Have you guys ever had crazy bank sex? I cannot confirm or deny. Whoa! That's a fucking yes for those of you wondering. You'd say no if it wasn't.

That is so cool. Fucking blowing loads. Do you ever go in the bank and hand her a note and say, give me all that ass? Hell yeah. Heck yeah. In Spanish. In Spanish.

You give her the old ATM, the old ass to mouth. It's both bankers. Fucking leave a little deposit in there ever. Unfortunately, we don't actually deal with the money. Just the technology and computers and stuff. That's cool for the story. Are you ever not able to come and then she looks back and asks you what's wrong

and you say insufficient funds. Alright, let's keep it moving along. There he goes, Kevin Escobar, everybody. What do you guys think? One more time? You know, we have not had a lady up tonight. What do you guys think? Should we pull until we get a lady up there? This guy's booing that.

We have not had a lady. We got to make it even, right? At the equal opportunity or something like that. Yeah, 901 seems even. Put your hands together for your final comedian of the night, Emma Lai. Emma Lai. Emma Lai. Wow, look at that.

Special lighting. Emma Lai. Here she is. Emma Lai, everybody. Come on, make some fucking noise. First off, it's Emma Lee. It's just Dutch. Secondly, so I'm living in Florida, right? Scrolling through a couple of Florida man stories, right?

Just a small collection known as the local news. Come across the story of a dude who somehow managed to break into the side of a Vera Bradley shop with a buzzsaw to steal about $600 worth of product. Now, two emotions go through me when I read this, right? First one, bewilderment at the fact that this dude just zombie massacred his way through a cement wall, perused until he had gathered up $600 worth of, I don't know, whatever the fuck you get over here, Bradley, and just waltzed out, and nobody did anything. Like, it was nothing.

And I remembered, oh, yeah, it's Florida. Second thing is honestly jealousy. You want to know why? So this chick, right, I got to thinking, you know, it's got to be, fuck,, it's gotta be, fuck, it's gotta be a professional grade level of pussy whip. This guy or this chick has this guy in order to have him whapped so far around her finger

that he would risk life and limb for a pair of pants. Hey, Jesus! Emma Lai pushed it all the way to the old Chelsea Bear there. Emma, you didn't need to tell us that you live in Florida. You look like you live in Florida. No, no, I used to. What?

I used to. Oh, okay. Who gives a fuck? Joke worked. Che, you were right. Guys, girls, doesn't matter. White people don't know how to say hi to the audience, man. They don't get it. My name's Emma Lee. It's girls, doesn't matter. White people don't know how to say hi to the audience, man.

My name's Emily. It's Dutch, fuckfaces. So news is weird. Literally. It's like listening to someone on the phone. Watch. We don't know the other side. You got to tell us what the fuck

you talking about. I did. For those of you wondering, her name is spelled Emma and the last name is L-I-E. No, no, no. It's all one. It's E-M-M-A-L-I-E. My last name is way too fucking complicated. Oh, see that. I don't know how long you've been

not in Dutch land before, but you left a space and you capitalized the L beforehand. You know, in America if it's really one word, we just one word that shit. So shove that in for your Dutch ass. English is hard.

English is hard. We're putting you through the Dutch oven here tonight. Alright, that's true. She's going through the Dutch oven. Let me start with some positives. Compared to the last two comedians, you could speak. Yeah, exactly. I found that refreshing.

You used to live in Florida. Where do you live now? East LA. East LA. Originally from Indiana. That's probably where it's from. How long have you been working at Hot Topic? A couple of days.

I love it. Do you get a discount on pins and patches and shit? Do what? What do you do for work? Postmates. Postmates? Heck yeah. Getting high on your own supply.

Have I used that one time? Pretty much. Used the coupon code KILLTONY and get $100 worth of... It somehow worked better this time. Oh, I love it. Yeah, Postmates, official sponsor of KILTONI. Absolutely. Fuck yeah.

Okay. I'll have the support wherever I can. Yeah, use the promo code KILTONI. Get $100 free. Free delivery. Free delivery. $100 for the first week. That's literally...

For you guys, that's like one meal. So, Emma, tell us something. For how many people? It goes by weight. So, Emma, tell us something. How long were you in Florida for? A couple decades or something? Three years. Three years. That's it. What's the craziest thing you saw in Florida? What's truly the most Florida shit

other than that story? A skinny white kid wearing a shirt. Yeah. No, okay, so the scariest thing I've ever seen, so I'm in Florida, right? I'm training to be a professional wrestler. I'm in class one day. Get the fuck out of here.

I'm in class one day, and pretty fuck out of here. I'm in class one day, and pretty much these guys were all doing shit, pretty much trying to show up, and one of the guys decides he's just going to shit can himself over the top rope.

The best part is, the guys outside of the ring didn't know it. So that was actually, yeah, really dicey. All right, but tell that to people who aren't professional wrestlers what does shit can himself mean

just took a swan dive over the top rope said a prayer and hoped for the best let me ask you something I didn't know that was called shit can on the indie circuit and you still know some moves right would you mind I think the crowd here would be pretty excited.

Is there any chance? Biggest Jay Oakerson over there, the old innocent victim. He has a, believe it or not, he has a tendency to take a stone-cold stunner here and there. You know what that move is? Ooh, but I'm, nah, that's not my gimmick, love. You know what that move is? That's not my gimmick, love. What's the type of move that you know how to do? Hand job.

Over the pants stuff. But just light over the pants stuff. Good one, B. He's not wrong. What type of wrestling move do you know how to do? Is there anything you would be willing to do? On a comedian great, Jeremiah Watkins, aka Biggest Jay Oakerson.

Would you be willing to take a front slam? A front slam? I don't know what the hell that is, but okay. Oh, God. That would be our answer. Oh, boy. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him. Let's not do that one because I think his nose will go through the stage.

Is there any other move other than a front slam? He has a big nose. Is there a way we could protect that? Vertical suplex. How about a regular body slam? If he jumps into it, you think you can get him? That's a front slam. No, a front slam is different. That's a front slam, right? No, front slam's different.

I do a body slam. What? Do you want to take a body slam right here? Yeah. All right, fuck it. All right. Wow. Well, that was a moment where she knew that it's probably bad for his back, but he doesn't.

You know what would be hilarious? If right before she does it, Che just hits her with a fucking chair across the back. Oh! In the ultimate heel turn! Does anybody have a hair tie? Hair tie? We have a hair tie coming to the stage for M.L.I. This is an interesting moment in this show where it's either going to be epic

or Jeremiah's going to die. It'll be an epic death. By the way, Biggest Jay Oakerson, we wear ankle socks. For those of you that were at the Gramercy, you saw it then, you're about to see it now. This is Jeremiah Takes a Bump,

live on Kill Tony. It looks like they're talking shit. Oh, my God. Woo! Woo! Woo! Wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah! They are on their feet!

Live at Skankfest! Jeremiah takes a bump live on Kill Tony! What a slam! Oh man, Jeremiah's really selling it. He survived, everybody! Skankfest is on their feet, everyone. And we did it. That's an episode of Kill Tony, everybody.

One more time for Emily, everyone. Emily, Emily. One more time as loud as you can get for the Legion of Skanks. One more time as loud as you can get for Michael Che! You know you have to give me the last of your voice for the great Jeremiah Watkins! And give it up for the great Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez, everybody! Luis J. Gomez,

Big J. Oakerson, Dave Smith, Michael Che. These guys, how about a hand for yourselves for being truly some of the best comedy fans in the world. And of course, you gotta give it up for my man on the can, the great Brian Redban,

everybody. See you, guys. Skank Fest, we love you. Good night! Good night. Thank you. Продолжение следует... Thank you.