KILL TONY - KILL TONY #374

Episode Date: July 5, 2019

Tim Dillion, William Montgomery, David Deery, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 07/01/2019 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Now that's a vacation I can get behind. Deal so good, everyone approves. Only at HomeSense. Hey, this is Red Band, and you are listening to Kill Tony. Go to our website, DeathSquad.TV, for every episode we've ever done of Kill Tony, including video portions of the show. If you click on Tour Dates, you can come see us live. In July, we're going to be in Plano, Texas. Then we're going to be in Fort Worth, Texas, followed by a huge show in Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. Go to DeathSquad.tv and click on Tour Dates.

Tony Hinchcliffe has his own website, TonyHinchcliffe.com. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything Golden Pony. Ryan J. Ebelt, he's the house artist. He draws all the posters. He did the Kill Tony book. Go to RyanJEbelt.com. And last but not least, shopsquad.tv. There's the official merchandise of Kill Tony and Death Squad,

including hats, shirts, and mugs. Go to shopsquad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Band. Coming to you live from the road-famous Comedy Store main room for a brand-new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hinchcliffe. Guys, you're at the number one live podcast in the world. You have to make as much noise as possible right now.

There you fucking go. Brian Redband's here. The great Ryan J. Ebelt is sitting there drawing tonight's episode. We have home field advantage. LA, are you with us? Are we doing this shit tonight? So these people all around the world can hear you enjoy yourselves. It's very exciting.

I met a guy last week from fucking Saudi Arabia that listens to us. That's crazy. He didn't try to fly a plane into the building or anything. Just told me that he really listens to the show. It's incredible. Worldwide. So much fun. And we go back on the road next week.

Plano, Texas and Fort Worth to beautiful Texas where we go a lot. I'm also headlining the entire weekend in Fort Worth. Friday and Saturday, July 12th and 13th. Jeremiah Watkins in the feature position there. And then we're back out on the road again. Kill Tony Philadelphia. Our biggest show of the year.

July 25th. If you live anywhere near Philly, get tickets for that now. And also Pittsburgh. We're doing our first ever Kill Tony Pittsburgh. Is it our first? What do we do there? We did for that now. And also Pittsburgh. We're doing our first ever Kill Tony Pittsburgh. Is it our first? What do we do there? No, no, no. We did it once before.

That little joint. It's a big place this time. It's the Pittsburgh Improv. I'm also headlining a weekend there, July 26th, 27th in Pittsburgh. There's also Kill Tony's coming up in Fort Wayne, Indiana. That's a big one. That's the Let's Fest Festival.

One of those shows our guests will be for the very first time ever, the great Todd Berry. We're knocking off bucket list guests left and right. We had Gilbert in New York. We're having Todd Berry in Indiana. And then I do some stand-up gigs all by myself in beautiful August, Miami, August 8th to the 10th, and West Palm Beach, September 5th through the 7th. And Red Band is doing one of our favorite cities in the world, San Diego. One night only, August 17th at American Comedy Company.

That's Red Band headlining. You've got George Perez. Yeah, and Aiko Tanaka. We've got two shows. And we do the Ice House Chronicles every first and third Friday at the Ice House. So check that out. And don't forget, Kill Tony Mania is coming October. That's our biggest, biggest, biggest, craziest stuff that we do.

We take a bunch of friends with us, a whole bunch of crazy stuff happening, including, you know who's probably going to be there with us, is our guy that we met last week, the new intern, Brandon Thompson. Brandon the intern Thompson, everybody. Making miracles happen. A guy that wants to help the show. Very, very, very smart guy. We're very excited about it.

And it's our first ever intern that we've ever had in six years of doing this show. It's really hard finding people that are right for a job. Hiring people is really challenging. No matter how many applicants, no matter this or that, it took us six years to find a guy like that. And ZipRecruiter makes hiring easy. Hiring is challenging, and it's the only place to go that's actually simple, fast, and smart, a place where growing businesses connect to qualified candidates.

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Ooh, we, we, you guys ready to start tonight's episode. I'm so excited about this. My favorite thing on this show is having, of course, some of the funniest human beings in the world on his guests. This week is a true treat.

This is one that just like his other episodes, people look back on forever. Truly, I say this a lot, but I really mean it this week. Truly, one of my favorite comedians on the planet, one of the funniest humans working today. Ladies and gentlemen, it is the return of the great and powerful Tim Dillon, everybody. Dylan, everybody. Yeah. What's up, buddy? Tim Dylan, the host of one of my favorite podcasts in the world. Tim Dylan is

going to hell. Thank you. And you are going to hell. You're going to Salt Lake City this weekend at Wise Guys Comedy Club. Yeah. Come on out, Mormons. Hilarities July 19th and 20th in San Diego. August 1st to the 3rd at American Comedy Company. Very excited about that.

Performed for Jarheads and Surfers. I love it, man. Down there in San Diego. All these NBA moves happening all around, people going to different cities. I don't know if you guys know this. Tim Dillon is now an L.A. resident. We just got him from beautiful New York. Thank you.

He's a goddamn monster, people. You mark my words. You're going to say you hung out with him here tonight on Kill Tony. If you don't know, now you know. Thank you. You're one of our favorite people. Let's just jump right into the show. We're keeping it tight tonight. We're keeping it moving tonight. We have a band on this show. You know this. I know it well. And every single episode

they commit to being different characters. We never know what they're going to be. They're farther back in the green room with a separate door. They've been getting ready. Maybe it's the return of one of our favorite characters that we've ever had on. Maybe it's a brand new character. Let's all find out together. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the best damn band in the land.

It's the Kill Tony Band. Jeremiah Watkins, Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez, and Chroma Chris. Ooh la la. Let's see what they are tonight. Whoa. My goodness. Wow. How cool is this?

Wow. This is incredible. I believe they are ISIS. Yeah. Some type of genies or something, perhaps. My goodness. Trump is not going to like this episode. I'll tell you that much.

One of our biggest fans, the President of the United States of America. He watches every show. Every episode, the live stream all the way from D.C. God bless him. Are you a genie or Middle Eastern man, perhaps? Neither. Oh, what are you? Autistic.

We are fortune tellers. Whoa, fortune tellers. This is definitely a first. I'd remember this if I saw it before. I am Qualzar. That is Joltar, and that is Retar. Qualzar, Joltar, and Retar. Ialsar, Joltar, and Retar.

I got it. Pretty easy to remember. You look great tonight, Qualsar. You look fantastic. I do like seeing Middle Eastern roles played by white guys. That is one of my favorites. There is no

race in the future. Oh. All right. Very interesting, Quasar. Next to you, we have Retar, who looks an awfully lot like a French tourist. But I guess you are a fortune teller here tonight. I'm excited to see what he offers up. And back here, clearly, we have Wario from the hit game

Mario Kart. We have Wario. I knew you would make that joke. I love it, man. So we have Fortune Tellers. We got Tim Dillon. We got Red Bam. We got Ryan Jay. Whoa! Look at this star coming in. That black cloud. Woo! The sweet, sweet

Aphrodite is joining us live. Black cloud. Yeah, look at that. My goodness, which brings me to this right here, everybody. It is the bucket of destiny. A bunch of people signed up way before tonight's show for the opportunity to get on this stage, do 60 seconds of stand-up, and then get

interviewed by me and, of course, this illustrious panel. That's how it works. You know your 60 seconds of uninterrupted stand-up comedy is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. That's a seal. Let's try it again. That's the sound. Hell yeah. That's the

one part of the show that hasn't changed in six years if you're wondering. Breadman. There you go. That means wrap it up then or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. Whoa. It sounds angry tonight. You guys ready to start this show or what?

We are live streaming around the world. Heck yeah. Oh, my goodness. Am I excited about this? We have the great Gino is out there, our friend from Speedweed, marijuana delivery service. Okay, let's start the show. I pulled the name out of the bucket.

Your first comedian getting an uninterrupted 60 seconds tonight goes by the name of Milan Patel. Ooh, sounds like a fortune teller. Yeah. Milan Patel. Milan. Milan Patel. Milan. Milan Patel.

Whoa. All right. We got to. Yeah. All right, guys. Hold on a second. Mr. Patel is too offended that his culture is being desecrated on stage. He's like, I can't do this.

I have to go back to my... Milan Patel didn't make his spot. Okay, put your hands together for Cameron Torrey, everyone. Cameron Torrey. Yeah. Where the hell are these people? Where are these people? Where are these people? Where are these people?

These are all Russian bots signing up for Kill Tony. This is what's going on. It's been hacked. The system's been hacked. Damn it. It's a Russian meddling going on here. What's your name? Are you Patel?

No. No, you're not Cameron. You're the guy that went up one time under somebody else's name, right? Let me see your ID. Yep. You're the guy that went up one time under somebody else's name, right? Let me see your ID. Yep. That's the rule. It's not because you're black either. Let me see your ID.

Yep. Let me see this thing. Okay, it's Cameron. Give it up for Cameron. All right, get ready for like one minute of some bullshit. Oh, God. Don't oh, God me. Oh, God was like when I was in third grade,

and I went to an all-white elementary school, if you can't tell. And my dad never showed up. So what do white people think when your dad doesn't show up to career day? And white people, any takers? You don't have a dad. You don't have a dad. One day he showed up. I was like, all right, motherfuckers. Guess who's here? My dad's a stand-up comedian. You guys are looking like, really? It's not in the blood. He did five minutes in a room full of eight-year-olds. And you'd think it's a given that it should be a clean room. No. So for the next two weeks, you had all the little kids

running to class talking about, what's a pussy? Huh? Cameron's dad was talking about eating a pussy at career day. He said you got to beat the pussy up. Mom, you said it's mean to beat pussies up. All right. I'm out. There we go.

Cameron Torrey. Cameron. Welcome, welcome. Welcome. How do you feel like that went? I feel like my set in the other room went a little bit better because I had a little more time. It's a shame that one wasn't on a live podcast. Well, oh well.

Welcome, Cameron. You've been on this show once before, right? I have. And you are related to a famous comedian, correct? Two, actually. Yeah? Tell us about that. Who are they? All have. And you are related to a famous comedian, correct? Two, actually. Yeah? Tell us about that. Who are they?

All right. There's Joe Torre. Uh-huh. And you're a manager of the New York Yankees, correct? What? Former manager of the New York Yankees? No. No.

You think I'd be doing this shit? Yeah, you probably would be. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely would. But I'd be dressed a little bit better. Oh, fuck. Uh-huh.

Joe Torre. Joe Torre. And that's your dad? Joe Torre's my father. Guy Torre's my uncle. He did Fat Tuesdays here, which was a little bit better. Oh, fuck. Uh-huh. Joe Torre. And that's your dad? Joe Torre's my father. Guy Torre's my uncle. He did Fat Tuesdays here, which was a really big thing. Yeah, I know. I don't know.

Nobody remembers. Everybody's young as fuck in this motherfucker, bro. I'm young, too, but shit. I think that's why it didn't go well, because they're too young. Yeah. Maybe. Or maybe I just didn't deliver. How long have you been doing stand-up comedy?

A year and a half. A year and a half. A year and a half. Okay. And it's something that you've always wanted to do? No, actually, I never wanted to do it because my dad and my uncle did. I'm like, I'm going to fucking follow them. Fuck them. Right.

I'm going to be an actor. And I'm on IMDb. I've been in some shit. Yeah. But. What have you done? Congratulations on being on IMDb. I've done two movies and a TV show. And fucking, you know what?

You've got to start somewhere. I agree. I just asked what you did. You know what? That wasn't him. That was LaFortune Teller that said that. You're yelling at the wrong guy. It's the white guy with the turban.

Either way. Either way. Either fucking way. What are some of the IMDb credits that we would recognize you from? Unsung Hollywood. What is that about? It's a TV show for black people. You guys wouldn't know unless you have TV1.

None of these people can relate to anything of yours. They're too young. They're too white. Yeah, you know what? Aphrodite, you ever see the show he's talking about? Aphrodite's old and black and she has no idea what you're talking about I know

Hey I wouldn't be able to see shit With that nose ring either That shit is big as a motherfucker Alright What are we at the back of a movie theater right now You two are out of control Let's not talk about he married I Wikipedia'd his ass he ain't married All right, all right, all right. What are we, at the back of a movie theater right now? You two are out of control. He said no.

Let's not turn it into a cookout. He married. I Wikipedia'd his ass. He ain't married. Cameron, shut up. What do you do for work? I have a production company. Oh, yeah?

Yo, LA should be firebombed. You think I'm bullshitting? Like, legitimately firebombed. I went to Vistaprint. I got a fucking business card. I'm a CEO, motherfucker. Wow, CEO. What are you producing? What are you excited about? I'm producing

some videos on YouTube. I'm producing little sketches. You gotta start small. Dude, I'm 25. You don't have to start with a company. You're 25? Yes, you do. Yeah. You don't. You don't. You need an LLC or some kind of shit. Why? Because taxes.

That's why. What money? What? Taxes? What money? Wait a minute. Don't worry about where my money comes from. Okay.

But that's what I asked you. I want to know how you actually make money. I know I look like you're so mad. I know I look like a cop. I'm not a cop. You can relax. He's talking to me like I'm a DA. This is on YouTube.

Hey, so he does have a production company. Oh, he went to my website. I build websites. Cameron, Cameron, this is a podcast. You can't just talk any time you want to. You've got to fucking relax. Check this out, Tony. It is legit.

He has video production, photography, web design, graphic design, auto sales and leasing. There's actually a picture of you selling a car there. By the way, that's the one you want to keep doing. Keep selling and leasing cars. Don't stop that. Did you Photoshop this guy with you or is he really an M&M? That's actually one of my best friends.

Did you really sell him a car? No, he leased it. He leased it from you? Were you working for a company? I have. I just told you I have my own company. No, I know that. That's a production company.

I have a network of dealerships. Does your production company sell cars? No, but I work with dealerships that do. I network. It's always good when you meet with a production company and they try to sell you a Kia. Yeah. It's always a vote of confidence. I know what Tony's trying to say.

They're like, hey, we're a production company, but if you also need a wedding DJ. I sold cars for four years. So when I launched my production company, I said I was done selling cars. Fuck this shit. But then people call me all the time for cars. And it's fucking $500, $1,000. People just call you up and go, I need a car. Then I just get to me for giving them a fucking deal

that they could have gotten and walked into the dealership. That's good for you. So I'm not going to sleep on the money. I'm collecting money. If you were going to sell, I want to see how you would sell a car. Qualtar over here. Qualzar, a car. Sell them a car.

Go ahead. Abu Dhabi? No, Cameron, Cameron, Cameron. Don't try to be funny. It doesn't work for you. Just sell them a car. Sell them a car, Cameron. Don't try to be funny. It doesn't work for you. Just sell him a car. Sell him a car, Cameron. I'm trying to help you out here.

I'm trying to set you up for success. All right, sir. What are you looking for? A car. Okay. I understand. You're in the right place. We've got tons of cars.

Do you want something fuel efficient? Do you want something for the family? I mean, you've got to help me out a little bit. What are your two-seaters like? I got some badass Corvettes. I got a black one with red stripes. Yeah, it's a bad motherfucker. What other description is it than badass?

How many miles to the gallon? What is the rim size? Well, there's actually a gas guzzler tax on the window sticker because it's shitty at gas mileage, but that's not why you buy the car. You buy the car because... Have you driven a Corvette? Yes.

Well, then you should know. I would like to take my business elsewhere. There you go. That's fine. He's not buying it. That's fine. He's not buying it. That's fine. He's not buying it. That's fine.

You don't look like you buy shit. Whoa, Cameron, Cameron, you got to be nice to me. He does. If you go to a luxury car dealership in Beverly Hills, this is exactly who's buying those cars. It literally looks exact. I've seen this guy in the Beverly Hills Hotel with three whores and two cars and a fucking bunch of

purebred huskies. Cameron, one of my favorite things about this show is sometimes people doing it a year, year and a half, two years will come on. They struggle. They have a weird set sometimes. They come back again and they fucking murder. So come back, sign up again, will you? Thanks.

Cameron Torrey, everybody. Yeah, it's not going to get any better than that. TorreyProductions.com. Yeah. There goes Cameron, everybody. Heck yeah. Yeah. Proof that sons of comedians are never funny.

Yeah. I don't know if you've ever seen Richard Pryor's son, but yikes. He has a daughter. It's a daughter. know if you've ever seen Richard Pryor's son, but yikes. He has a daughter. It's a daughter. Oh, really? Yeah, Rain Pryor. He has like 10 kids.

Oh, well, come on. Let's not. Okay. Put your hands together for your next comedian, Aaron Anderson, everybody. Here we go. Aaron Anderson. Lucky corner. Here he go. Aaron Anderson. A lucky corner. Here he comes. That you would step back from that ledge, my little friend.

I wish that you would step back from that. One more time for Aaron Anderson, everybody. Woo! All right, cool. My name is Aaron Anderson, everybody. Alright, cool. My name is Aaron Anderson. I know that sounds like a fake name. Something kind of name you'd check into a motel six with. You guys aren't from my area, so you wouldn't get the reference.

I recently found out I look like a Muslim cholo. I cut my beard, though. I grew this mustache out because I wanted people to actually believe I was a father. Yeah, I have two children, so that means everything I own has ketchup on it. I don't like my kids. I really don't. My son's 70 pounds, and he's three years old. He's fucking fat, you guys.

It's okay. I can say old. He's fucking fat, you guys. It's okay. I can say it. He's my son. So I'm not worried about child predators, like, kidnapping him. You know, when's the last time you've seen a fit child predator? Right? Usually fat, sweaty guys with black polos. And he's just wearing anything.

He's not going to get far. He's going to take my kid and get two blocks and be like, you can have him back, dude. It's okay. Alright, that's it. There you go. Hold on. As a... As a fat, sweaty guy in a polo,

let me just respond to that. No one wants to fuck your jalapeno popper kid. Nobody's. I thought you were going to turn the joke on your kid, which would have made sense. Like, who's fucking this fat pig? But then you bring in another fat guy, and it's somehow his fault that your kid's gross.

Yeah. It's true. Yeah. My kid's gross. You have a gross kid. You're roasting kids over there. Yeah. So two roasting kids over there. Yeah. So two kids, Aaron Anderson.

What are their names? Nolan and Annette. Nolan and Annette? You are going white. Yeah. As white as possible. That's the whitest name ever. What exactly are you? You said that you look like a Muslim cholo,

which is exactly what this drummer looks like here today. There he is. What is that? What's up, dog? I love it. Look at hipster Iron Sheik back here. The Irony Sheik. I'm actually Native American and Irish.

Native American and Irish. What are we talking about? What kind of Native American? Are we talking fucking Pocahontas or Elizabeth Warren? What are we talking about here? Pretty much Pocahontas. My tribe is the Lumbee tribe from North Carolina. We're pretty much the lost colony.

We don't get recognized. Quasar, I see you thinking over there. Yeah. I don't know. I saw all of this. What? Nothing. Oh, okay.

All right. Aaron. Can I not think? Yes, you can think. Qu, okay. All right. Aaron. Can I not think? Yes, you can think. Okay. Over here, Aaron, take a step over here so that you face the audience. I want them to see your fucking noggin this whole time. Why is your tribe the Lost Tribe?

We're not federally recognized because the colonists in North Carolina and our little island, Roanoke Island they came and fucked all the Indians and now we're like a mush we're fucking Roto Island Roanoke Roanoke so the colonists came and invaded by fucking yeah well they pretty much were all mixed blood so they can't trace

us back all the way to our ancestors so they're like now we're not gonna give you money wow interesting yeah that's perfect that's a good way to infiltrate a system. That's the best way. Aaron, how long have you been doing stand-up comedy for? For about three years. Three years.

Yeah. How much of it in Los Angeles? I'm from Oxnard, like Ventura County, so just all up there. Up here, just like a year. Uh-huh. So. And so you started just before having kids or when you had a kid? Yeah, just – well, I got divorced.

I was married. I eloped. I got married at 19. I married a woman I knew for six months. Yeah. Yeah, so obviously I didn't have a father. But, yeah. Real depressing show.

It's a very sad show. I like it. Very compelling. This is very dark. No, I eloped and I married a 27-year-old woman at 19 and that marriage lasted like two years. Whatever happened to her? She moved on.

She lives with her sister. Oh, fortune teller. Wow. Really flexing over there. My goodness. That was very impressive. Do you guys share custody of the obese children? Yeah. We share custody of them.

She actually served me papers. I just didn't show up to my divorce. She served you papers? Yeah, like a sheriff showed up to my house while I was watching my kids. Yeah. You just fed the papers to your children? Yeah. I grilled them up.

Did you put some ketchup on them? They just ate them? So do you have the kids? Are they with you? Half the time. Not really. Quasar, Quasar, Quasar. I got it.

I got it. We're trying to steal a podcast. I'm sorry. I was lost in a vision. Yes. So she's got the kids or you got the kids? She has them most of the time. How often do you get to see them?

Like three times a week. That's enough, right? It's enough. Does she have a new boyfriend? I think she does, but she doesn't like talking about it. What do you do with the kids when you see them? Just roll them down the street? Yeah, I grease them up and take them to parks.

Normally the cool visitation right thing to do for the dad is to take the kids out to get fast food and burgers and milkshakes and whatever they want because you're overcompensating for not being there for them. But is it tough having fat kids and being like, here you go. Here's some fucking cheeseburgers you made. It is tough because all my son wants to do is eat McDonald's. I have to tell him, no, dude, you're fat. You can't eat McDonald's all the time. You're just giving him lines of Coke. You're like, clean it up.

Do this key bump. Oh, man. I love it, man. How do you make a living? I used to be a housekeeper in an emergency room. Wait a minute. You used to be a housekeeper at an emergency room? Yeah, an emergency department.

Yeah. I'm trying to see how the story could get sadder. It's like, what could happen next? My father was in prison my whole life for murder.

Oh. Wow. Who did he murder? I think he murdered his girlfriend. He never really told me. Wow. Yeah.

My goodness. You guys weren't close? No. Yeah. Not close at all. At least if you have a murderer dad, you want him to be like, listen, who I murdered, this is how I did it. Tell me some shit.

You can't even have that. How much does that suck? So you don't know how he killed her? He shot her in the head. Wow, okay. Hey, you don't know her. You don't know her. You don't know what she did.

You don't know how she ran her mouth every night. This fucking poor guy. He got fucked out of the fucking reservations from, you know, US government doesn't even recognize him because his great grandmother was a whore. Andy was an Indian. Did he shoot her in the head with an arrow or a gun?

I'm pretty sure with a gun. He just shot her right in the head. Fuck yeah! Good for him. And you have no idea why he shot her in the head? I think he kind of explained it to me. He was like in a motorcycle gang or something out in North Carolina and he was all coked out and shot her in the head

and left and then came back and then turned himself. Where did he shoot her? On the bike? No, in his trailer. Yeah. Great. It's gotten progressively worse. It's amazing how bad it's gotten. How quickly double whined. It's gotten progressively worse. It's amazing how bad it's gotten, how quickly it's gotten.

Oh, I love it. And where was the trailer? He's like, on the North Tower of the World Trade Center. A plane flew into it while he was shooting her. God. I love it. That is so goddamn interesting. What else should we know about you?

I love this. This is what we found out in just the first few minutes. Has anything good ever happened? Like even by accident? I'm going to take this one. What is it? No. Qualls are.

I got to claim my kids last year or this year in my taxes. Like I snuck it. I did it as fast as possible. I got $9,000. That's only because the government thought they were a car when they looked at them. Let's check in with Qualzar. $9,000 does not equal

the atrocities that is your life. Wow. What did you do with the $9,000? How much of that was spent on McDonald's for your fat boy? A lot of it, mostly Chick-fil-A and Olive Garden. Oh, yeah. Olive Garden's real trash. It's the trashiest we could go. If you're taking your kids to Olive Garden,

you could give a shit less about them. Exactly. If you're sitting down looking at your son in an Olive Garden, man! Can you blame him? He said he didn't have a father When he's there he's family Ah Wow

Well Aaron Some fun jokes man You got a good pop off your Muslim Cholo joke The Aaron Anderson I would skip the Aaron Anderson thing I don't think you need to do that People don't react to need to do that. People don't react to jokes about names as well as what people look like.

Yeah. You know, there's a lot more that you could fucking do. Who's the guy with the who's that one actor that's in a lot of Adam Sandler movies with the fucking like the rich one and all that? He plays the butler. Right. Not John. Like Tartaro. Yeah plays the butler. Right? Not John Leguizamo. Totoro? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could say that you're like John Totoro

with leukemia or something like that too. Also, dude, your life is so interesting. You should be getting comedy from your horrific life. There's so much more than your kids just being gross. If my dad admitted to being a murderer, I would joke

about it. Dude, you should have five minutes on your dad shooting that dumb bitch in the face. Yeah, absolutely. You know? Yeah, definitely. He's a fucking man. If I talk to him, I'll fucking talk to him. You should be proud. You should be proud of that fucking guy.

You should. You should talk to him. My dad's a singer, you know? I wish my dad was a biker gang fucking murderer. What prison is he at? He was in like a Greenville prison. He's out. I went and visited him.

He's out. He's out next. And give it up for daddy. He's in the audience tonight. Yeah, that would be fun. My goodness. Nah, he's been out for a couple years. I went and visited him.

What's a guy like that do for work? Pokey? Makes pokey balls? Close. Just chopping up hockey tuna all day? You said he's close. He owns a barbecue house. And he works at a seafood restaurant.

He's doing better than most people I know. It's fucking great. Son, I got cocktail sauce all over me at work today. Definitely didn't shoot another girl in the head. All right, Aaron. Well, thanks for coming to the show. He is Aaron Anderson, everybody. He's on Twitter at Anderson Comedy.

Yeah, yeah. Time after time. If you bomb, I will catch you. I will be waiting. Tim. Time after time. Your dad's really a singer? He was like a singer.

He's like a failed musician. Really? Is he on Spotify? What? Is he on Spotify? No, he's done. Time after time. Your dad's really a singer? He was like a singer. He's like a failed musician. Really? Is he on Spotify? What? Is he on Spotify? No, he's done. He's failed. He sucks.

Really? He needs to put it up. He's on Twitch. Is he like a lounge singer? Is he a heavy drinker? No, he's like a guitar guy. He's okay at it, but you know. Yeah.

It would have been much cooler if he shot someone in the face. Yeah, for sure. Tim, can you sing? No. I think you should. Then the apple, Tim, can you sing? No. I think you should. Then the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You said your dad couldn't sing. All right, forget it.

I pulled another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Dan Veer. This looks like a new name. Whoa, from the Lucky Area, Dan Veer, everyone. Here we go. Dan Veer, everyone. Here we go. Dan Veer. Who can say when the sun's up? Only time. One more time for Dan Veer.

All right. How's everybody doing? I feel like I'm a chameleon to my environment sometimes. Like, my thoughts just take over another personality. Like, I'll be in the gym, and I'll be looking at myself, and I'll be like, yes, you're doing it. You're doing it very nicely. You're getting the pump.

Everybody needs the pump. If you get the pump, it's just like coming. I mean, I get the pump everywhere. I come in my house. I come in my house. I come in my housekeeper. I'll be at the pharmacy. I'll just be like, you know, this isn't what I asked for. I asked for Claritin.

This is clearly not Claritin. The only thing I can see clearly now is that this is the wrong prescription. The only prescription I need is for more cowbell. Hello, America. I believe a lot of people want me back. And I just want to say, I said it once, I said it a billion, trillion times. Mission accomplished. Holy fucking shit man Holy shit

Only time What I liked about it Was that you stopped learning impressions After 2004 That was my favorite thing about it Is you just said I got them all in. I mean, wow. At the beginning of the set, I was disappointed in you.

By the end, I was disappointed in most of this audience. Yeah. At one point, your Christopher Walken got what only could be considered as an applause break in this room. Right. And I have never been more disappointed in a group of people. My people? Yeah.

You guys know what show you came to tonight? It's a real Olive Garden out there. Jesus Christ. Real fucking Olive Garden. I thought for sure. Wow. They will hold strong through this Christopher Walken. This is a trap.

We've been here before many times over six years. To do Schwarzenegger is one thing. To do Schwarzenegger and Walken is a whole other thing. And then ended with George W. Bush! That's multiplayer! That's fucking two fucking eight-year presidencies

ago. Crazy. Oh my god, look at you. And you're just like a grown man with like a big fucking child head on your shoulders you have like this big fucking frat house face on this grown man body you look like a young version of the undertaker's brother kane very weird reference but if you know it you know i'm right people with their hands over their head clapping we gotta know what other impressions do you have yeah what are you know it, you know I'm right. There's people with their hands over their head clapping. We got to know, what other impressions do you have?

What else do you do? I'll even one-up it. This is a segment we haven't done in a long time. Qualsar, if you will indulge us. Not a lot of people know this, but it's been a while since we've done this. We have an impression off. My guess is that this is going to be a fun one because your impressions fucking suck, dude. So basically, you do any impression in the world, right?

And Jeremiah Qualzar, the artist formerly known as Jeremiah, is going to do that impression better than you. This is a segment that we haven't done in a long time. It's called Jeremiah Does It Better. Let's do it right here live. Jeremiah does it better. Let's do it right here live. Jeremiah does it better. Okay. Now, first, tell us the impression that you're going to do, Dan. Reagan.

Classic movie trailer voice. Reagan. Classic movie trailer voice. Here we go. Classic movie trailer voice. Originally performed by Pablo Francisco in 1999, but coming at you right now, 2019, Dan Veer. Here we go.

One man with all the voices from the 90s in an impression of with a man who cannot tell the future. Oh, Andy's talking shit in it. I'm going to cut you off there, Dan. Talking shit. Qualsar does not respond. I can tell he's fucking serious over there. shitting and i'm gonna cut you off there dan talking shit quals art is not responding i can tell he's fucking serious over there i got i'm the one that could tell your fortune right now

dan and it's not looking good ladies and gentlemen the competitor jeremiah does it better it's jeremiah walkins and another man who looks like a shift lead at old navy go head to head to find out who is the better movie voice. I got Jeremiah on that one. I don't know about you guys. That one's an easy one for me. It's a no brainer. Both not great. I think it was pretty close. Not all of us.

It's not hard to do. Not all of us were born with gravel in their mouth instead of a pacifier, Tim Dillon. Listen, buddy. In a world. In a world. In a world where horrible comedians rule.

A man who's been smoking since he's two. Doesn't know how to end this piss. All right, let's go back in. We're going to check back in with Dan Veer. Dan, what's another impression that you sort of know how to do? I think I have a pretty decent Russell Brand. Oh, Russell Brand. This is one I've never heard Jeremiah do before.

This will be interesting. Go ahead, Dan Veer. Go on with this Russell Brand. All right, so I watch this podcast, right, with Joe Rogan. And if you think emphatically the way I do, I look at a woman, and she's got voluptuous breasts. And I want to shove my face right in between that. And in a previous life, I may have done like three or four, 15 lines off of those boobies.

All right, I'm going to stop you right there. I'm going to stop you right there. I'm going to be honest with you. That's good. Pretty good. That was a good one. I'm going to be honest with you. That's good. Pretty good. That was a good one. I'm going to be honest with you. Dan, yeah.

Well, Jeremiah giving the thumbs up over there. So let me just tell you something, Dan. That is an impression not only that is in the past two decades, right, but it's also something I've never seen anyone do. The other ones I've seen everyone that tries impressions do. So why not write? Have you thought of how long you've been doing stand up? Like two years.

Two years. Where at? Mostly in Arizona. I went to school at Arizona State. I played football there. Oh, wow. Look at that. Real smart crowds in Arizona.

They're known for their real smart crowds. Fuck yeah, dude. I got a new favorite comedian. You got to see this guy's fucking Bill Clinton, dude. I got a 12-pack of natty ice. We're going to go fucking watch Dan there tonight, dude. Nothing says comedy fan like a co-core who hangs out by the pool all day. Now, this is an interesting study because now we've seen five total impressions.

The first four, all bad. And one very good. In the way that it's unoriginal. And one really good that you could really write around that you can get genuine laughs from. I mean, this crowd who hated you gave you a full-blown applause break after that. Jeremiah. Here's what I will say is that the four impressions that he did before were not technically bad impressions. They're just hacky old impressions.

Right. They're easy. That's what I meant. That's true. He has the technical skills. If you have a suggestion, I could probably do a lot of them. Yeah. What else do you got?

Random Asian guy. I mean, like Kim Jong-un from The Hangover. I just want to get as offensive as possible. How about a guy who's half black, half Asian, and a Nazi? He's also a Nazi. Half black, half Asian. Do Charles Barkley. I'll tell you what, man.

This guy's impressions are just terrible. I mean, he really started off with some bad ones. He circled it around. He's just a terrible knucklehead. This is interesting. Why you should have done these? What the fuck? This is a very interesting thing that I'm glad we're exposing right now on this show.

He just made the wrong choice. You should have done that impression in blackface. My friend. That would have been good. My friend Benji Aflalo has a great saying. They always remember you by your worst joke. And you, my friend, need to not do the things that you think are going to get a laugh. You need to keep doing these things that you think are obscure that will get you laughs.

What's another one you got? I got Trailer Park Boys. I don't watch that show, but you go ahead. We'll see what the crowd says. All right, so this is Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys. You just be like, Ricky, you can't fucking do that. That sounds good. Okay,

what's another one? What's another one? It was another one. Let's keep it moving fast. I could do cartoon voices from Family Guy. I can do usually like he just wants the Coors Light beer guy. Do you do that? Do you need more Rocky Mountain water in your beer?

Wow! I mean, wow! This is what you have to do. You have to finally subscribe. I'd love to just do whatever voice recordings you want for the show. It's so crazy that you chose the old... I feel like somebody paid you money to come up and bomb. You threw the game. You have all these great impressions.

I just have been doing those for so long. So it's like when you only have a minute, I'm just like, I'm going to do what I have. When you only have a minute, do the three impressions from fucking 1998. It's the opposite, man. I can actually do the good Joker, too, but that's like not a funny. Which Joker? The Heath Ledger Joker. Let's hear it.

Do it. This is fucking interesting. Kill you? I don't want to kill you. What would I do without you? You complete me. You're really good at impressions. Yeah, he's good, Dan.

You're shockingly good at impressions. Yeah. So the moral of the story here is, Dan. Just never do the first three, like, ever again. Ever fucking, again, you'll never have to. You'll never have to because I'm telling you, it disguises all your talent. Never trust your own instincts.

Yes. Yes. Every instinct that you have, anything you feel, Because I'm telling you, it disguises all your talent. Never trust your own instincts. Yes. Yes. Every instinct that you have, anything you feel, go the other way immediately. I feel like this is like Coonoo. You probably do that on dates. You look like a guy who thinks, should I hit her? But you don't, you know? You look like a guy.

You have a homework assignment, Dan, and that is go and fucking write the proper joke for the Coors Light guy so that it's in joke form. Like, why does the guy that write the proper joke for the Coors Light guy so that it's in joke form. Like, why does the guy that does this always sound like the Coors Light guy? The ESPN guy. Why does the ESPN guy always bring up beer commercials? Because the ESPN guy is just super unique. He's like the

brought to you by Budweiser. Wow! This fucking guy's unbelievable. This is what I'm talking about. I'm so glad you did this because I guarantee you all around the country and somewhere around the world, there's young people that want to do comedy. They all listen to this show. They learn a lot from it. And there's impressionists out there that are learning the grandest fucking lesson, which is take chances.

Go for the references that aren't fucking used. It's crazy that you had to knock those first four out of the way. If I'm ever at a comedy show and I walk through the back and you're doing any of those first four impressions, I'm never going to fucking talk to you again. All right. Thank you. Thank you. There you go. Dan Veer, everybody. Wow. Very cool.

I love it when everybody gets to learn something on this show. That was the biggest turnaround in the history of Kill Tony. I don't think there's ever been a big turnaround. A guy that dug himself a deep, deep hole, dug himself out of it. That was one of the biggest reversals I've ever seen on this show.

Fucking unbelievable. What a twist. We thought he was the bad guy. He was the good guy all along. Bright eyes. Yeah. Now, impressions, they still suck, but, I mean, universally, but.

Last week, we hired our first ever intern in the show's history. I mean universally but last week we hired our first ever intern in the show's history it's really exciting he has a lot of great ideas production wise that are going to take this show to a whole another level and he has a little bit of family in town tonight

so we figured hey you know what he's going to help us why don't we help him for his first ever minute as an intern on the show i present you for the first time ever brandon the intern thompson everybody here we go yeah it's um pretty suspect whenever somebody uh thinks that their own race is the master race. Like, it's a little convenient, right? Oh, geez. Bombing his intern.

So, yeah. Jesus Christ. Just once, I'd like to hear a pitch from one race about another. Cut to a man on the street interview at the local Patriots for Asian Dominance rally in West Virginia. Well, they're generally smarter, more compact and efficient, and they breed well despite their pixelated genitalia. but they're pixelated genitalia. I'm one quarter black in reality, but it's at least nine quarters important for me to tell everybody about that.

My mom is half black, baking soda, and she's actually here tonight. Yeah, she's here with her new wife. Okay, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Brandon the Intern Thompson. Fresh, fresh face here on Kill Tony.

Has a lot of amazing ideas. Yeah. This guy's a magician on a computer. Yeah. And you just had a set. You blanked out ten seconds in. Waboosh. Yeah.

It was just an interesting premise to black out on because you're like, you know about the master race? And everyone's like, no. You're like, you just got to polish race? And everyone's like, no. You're like, you just got to polish it up before Charlottesville next year, you know? Just fine tune it. Heck yeah. I barely recognize

you without your Antifa ski mask on. So let's talk about it, Brandon. How long have you been on stand-up again? Well, last week I told you that it was my sixth time, but it was really my fifth. And one of those was like years ago okay so you let's just say that you started last week uh you've been doing this one week perfect that'll that'll really change the expectations of everyone rather than saying you did it five times over the past few years oh yeah it's good. So that's fine.

That makes sense that you blanked out. It's not easy, man. The more pressure you put on yourself, the more it's always going to do that. So you have to counteract that by doing a lot of spots. So you haven't gone up since last week? I went up twice since last week. Okay. So this sort of fired you

up a little bit, right? Oh, yeah. For sure. Right. Yeah. Okay. So let's talk about your half-black lesbian mom. Is that true? Yeah. So this sort of fired you up a little bit, right? Oh, yeah, for sure. Right. Yeah. Okay. So let's talk about your half-black lesbian mom. Is that true? Yeah, yeah. Wow. That's very rare.

For those of you with your Kill Tony bingo cards, you can cross off half-black lesbian. Yeah. This is very exciting. By the way, she will have a show before you do. Yeah. Yeah, no. You know that. Wait, wait.

Well, she's already had shows. She's done shows. I was in the womb in front of like 72-piece orchestra and shit. Really? Gail crushes it. Yeah, what does she do?

Well, at that time, jeez, you know, I missed it in the joke. Here, stand between calls. There you go. There you go. Hello.

So I missed it. 72-piece orchestra, but what was she doing? She is the, she was the singer of the United States Naval Academy Band. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, fuck yeah. Really?

Yeah. Look at her over there. Is that her right there? Yeah. Fuck yeah, Gail. Really? It's Brandon the Intern's mom? Fuck yeah.

I mean, it might be a crazy request, Brandon the Intern's mom. What's your mom's name? Gail. Gail, this is a crazy request, but is there any chance you come up, sing us a little song real quick? These people all want it. Hey! Hey!

Here she comes. Former lead singer of the Naval Academy Orchestra. This is incredible. Fortune teller. I'm having a vision. She is going to do better than her son just did. Wow. Gail, how you doing?

How you doing? Welcome to the World Famous Comedy Store. Thank you. It's so good being here. You're on one of those historical stages, not only in comedy, but also Judy Garland, a lot of very great Frank Sinatra, The Doors. Everybody's performed on this stage.

Would you be willing to sing us a little ditty? Yeah, I'll do a little ditty. Yeah. Don't forget the words. So should I say her last name or Gail, the intern's mom? Gail Holmes. Gail Holmes, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, she's going to get a baseline and everything.

Look at this. Damn, she really going to get a bass line and everything. Look at this. Damn, she really is half black. She's got rhythm. She's telling the bass player what to do. I'm having a vision. I'm ready. The band is not going to know the song that she's wanting. I tried.

Ladies and gentlemen. It's summertime. Ooh. And the live horn is easy. Oh, shit. Fish are jumping And the cotton is high Reaching up to the sky Daddy's rich She's good looking

So come on and hush, little baby. Don't you dare cry. Wow. Yeah. Woo. Yo. That was fucking amazing. Holy shit.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. That was fucking amazing. When did you adopt him? Yeah, yeah. That was fucking awesome. That was awesome. That is so cool.

How about one more time for Gail Holmes, ladies and gentlemen? Thanks, guys. So cool. So probably your first time at the Comedy Store, right? First time at the Comedy Store here tonight? Yes, first time. And how about that? You already got the main room bumping. There she goes. Gail Holmes, everybody. First time here. Got

on stage. Woo! Full-blown chaos. That was good. She was fucking great. Yeah, I know. That was good. That was great. I can't believe. I can't imagine how basic the white guy she must have fucked to have you is. I cannot even imagine what kind

of... She's cracking up, by the way. That's so true, she said. You were fucking basic white dudes. That is so crazy. You were fucking a dildo before you were even a lesbian. Look at that. That's incredible. Wow.

Well, Brandon, we're going to know a lot more about you as time goes on. You're part of the family now. There he goes, ladies and gentlemen. Brandon, the intern Thompson and his badass mama, Gail Holmes. Wowie yowie wowie.

What is that from? You've been saying that a lot lately. Is that from somebody? Yowie, wowee? It'd be great if everybody's parent had a chance to save their set. Yeah, it's true. Everybody's parent had a talent. Your dad could come out and sing. Yeah.

Smoke coming out. There's smoke coming out. Yeah. Do-do-do-do. You know, my mom once performed on this stage at the five-year anniversary. Really? That's fucking awesome. She got a fucking standing ovation on arrival and exit. She roasted everybody.

It was a lot of fun. Good for her. Hell yeah. So that was fun. We had Brandon, the intern, back to the bucket. What do you guys say, huh? Yeah. Let's fucking do this shit. We that was fun. We had Brandon the intern back to the bucket. What do you guys say, huh? Yeah. Let's fucking do this shit.

We're having fun. Nobody has more fun on Mondays than us. How's the upper deck doing back there, huh? Hell yeah. I like this night. This is a fun one. Okay. Put your hands together for your next comedian.

Goes by the name of Danny Williams. Danny Williams. Danny Williams. Danny Williams. Danny Williams. Danny Williams. Hey. If you're not Danny Williams, don't come on this stage. Okay. That's not you.

God damn it. Pull another not you. Fucking idiot. God damn it. Pull another name out of the bucket. Put your hands together for Alan Santiago. Alan Santiago. Alan Santiago. Wow. No movement.

This is crazy tonight. That is crazy. All right. How about Sarah Kenny? We know Sarah Kenny. Where the hell is Sarah Kenny? There she is. Sarah Kenny.

S-A-R-A-H Kenny. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Sarah Kenny. She's a hacker. Sarah Kenny. One more time for Sarah Kenny, everybody. Have you guys heard of this camel pack bra? You can store booze in your bra.

I'm wearing one. Earlier I had giant tits. Now I'm just flat and drunk. That's where we're at. I have very strict rules when I have house guests. You know what? If you are pooping on my toilet, you will read the literature that I provide.

No phones allowed. Spoiler alert, it's my own poetry. It stinks way worse than whatever is coming out of you. You know, I was at this party and I was talking to this guy and I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna go out for a smoke. And he's like, oh, do you mind if I follow you out

so that I can finish my story? I'm like, oh, that would defeat the purpose. Wow. Sarah Kenny, working beats. Just like what I was saying earlier to the car salesman with the production company. You are a person that's been on the show many times. It's been a few years like it's been a couple. It's been a few years.

Yeah, it's been a few years since we've seen you. And then here we are. And you're working beats better than anybody else's set tonight. You're someone, how long have you been doing stand-up? We're at five and a half years. Five and a half years. And it shows. I literally counted.

You got four laughs in the first 20 seconds. And then one at 35, 39, 44, 57, and 59. That's nine laughs in 60 seconds, which is exactly the fucking name of the game. That's working beats. That's writing jokes that have opportunities for tags and you're fucking hitting them like someone that's been doing it as long as you should.

Fucking great. It was great. That brawl joke was one of my favorites. And you could also say things like bulimics would, if they had a brawl, the sicker they got, the better tits they would have or something. Jesus, yeah. You can make it less funny if you want.

No, I mean, there's other things to it. I did not think of that. Obviously, that was not a joke for him. I know, okay. So Sarah, what do you do for work? So I'm a programmer. That's my day gig. Oh, that was not a joke for him. I know. Okay. So, Sarah, what do you do for work? So, I'm a programmer. That's my day gig. Oh, that's right.

We know that about you. It's been so long. Where have you been all these years? Computer nerd. I don't know. You know, I'm at the Westside Comedy Theater a lot in Santa Monica. You live by the beach now? I'm a Westsider.

I don't live quite that far west, but I'm fairly close to it. So, I've been hanging out there a lot. Did you move to that area? I didn't live quite that far west, but I'm fairly close to it. So I've been hanging out there a lot. Did you move to that area? I didn't. Well, I'm a Culver City person. That's where I'm at. So I'm a little bit more west and less Hollywood. But I like to, I miss, I miss Commies.

I haven't been here in a little while. Of course. So it was good to stop back. I haven't actually done this in the main room ever. I always was in the belly room. It was back when there was hardly anybody even signing up. We're all evolving. We have an intern now and everything.

We're all grown up. You guys are so legit now. We have an intern with a very talented mom. Wow. So, Sarah, what you been up to? What's been fun in your not computer programming, not stand-up life? Anything good? Well, okay.

Other than those two things, I do a lot of beach volleyball. That's the only other fun thing. That's what's ruining you. That's what's ruining me? You've got to keep doing stand-up. Fight the urge. Fight the urge to be healthy on a beach.

Beach volley. Yeah, it's taking you out of the game. To be fair, I'm hung over a lot on the beach volleyball beach volleyball have you met our intern's half gay mother I don't think volleyball is a big lesbian sport

in the future it is hey I love it how about your love life Sarah what's been going on there not a whole lot. Oh, wow. This guy. You just got your fortune read.

What do you mean, not a whole lot? I don't know. I mean, you know, I get it when I need it, but it's... What does that mean? How often do you need it?

That sounds like a crack addict, by the way. You know? I get the dick when I need it, and that's it. For example, you have a regular guy that you just hook up. You have a fuck buddy.

What is it? I have a couple fuck buddies. Is it like a hot volleyball guy or is it like a homeless guy by the beach? Actually, volleyball has done me well. You got a lot of sand in that pussy? What are we talking about? I had to switch teams because I'd already

hooked up with everyone cute on the one team. So you're fucking chicks. Really? You've been hooking up with ladies lately? Is that true? I'm not a ladies lady. Is that what you said? You said you switched teams. What team? What are you doing now? Oh, I meant I switched volleyball teams.

I can see the confusion there. You thought you were fucking black guys or something cool i only we don't give a shit about your volleyball career yeah i don't know i'm just she's like actually there's seven teams and there's a tournament it's like who are you fucking let's talk about my serve no i was on one team and you know I exhausted the available men on that team, so I had to get to another team to refresh the bench. My goodness. Wow. Good for you.

My goodness. Yeah, that's very interesting. Beach volleyball. So you do that a lot, huh? Yeah. I mean, why would you not? Even if you suck at it, it's a fucking fun day at the beach. Just do it.

It's not if you suck at it. It's not a fun day at the beach. Like, just do it. Well, it's not if you suck at it. It's not a fun day at the beach. I guarantee you, if I was playing beach volleyball, it would not be a fun day at the beach. I would be tased. You'd be tased? Yeah. Who would tase you? I don't know. It's a joke.

Someone, probably. Sarah. Let's be as literal as possible. I don't know. Probably a Mexican. Other than beach volleyball, what else? What else you got going on in life? There must be some hobbies. Do you really write poetry? No, I don't.

Okay, good. See, jokes. Yeah, no, that was a total joke. I went through a phase like one semester in college where I was into poetry. And other than that, I just have hated it always. And by poetry, you mean eating pussy. I don't but it might have helped my poetry.

Have you ever been with a woman before? One time. What went on there? It was a drunken New Year's situation and it almost ruined our friendship. But describe it detail by detail. You know we did all the things that a girl can do.

Like what? Like what? Like what? And then... I mean, you know the parts. I don't know what they do. What do they do? What do they do?

What do they do? Redban will cum his pants in three, two, one. So, like, what? What did you do? And then, you know. I didn't get anything. What do you mean? I should say I did nothing, but she did some things.

Oh, look at that. My goodness. That I thought would be hot and instead were just weird. Why was it weird? Do you think her fingers were too slim? She blow backwards. It was mostly that she didn't have a penis was like the biggest thing. Right.

Did she try a strap on or anything? She tried to scissor you or anything like that? No. And her boyfriend was there. Oh. And he was a spectator most of the time. And he's like, well, what if I just have sex with Sarah? She's like, I don't think I would enjoy watching that.

Oh. Yeah. It was all wrong. But I gave it a shot, you know? I thought, I'll try this out. Maybe I'm into it. But you found volleyball. You found what you liked.

Yeah, thank God. I can let out my inner lesbian on volleyball. Yeah, thank God. Well, it was a fun set, Sarah. We got anything else for Sarah? You want to read her fortune or anything, Qualzar? You got anything for Sarah? Keep at it. I see a bright future for this one. Yeah, I like that.

Sarah Kenny, everybody. She's on Twitter at SKennyComedy. Sarah used to always sit in the back of the room with her computers out and just look like she was hacking everything like Matrix style numbers and shit. She was fucking funny

man. Heck yeah Oh this is interesting we know this young man he had a very wild appearance here a few weeks ago he got into a lot of trouble very controversial stuff ladies and gentlemen I represent re-present to you Cole Alexander, everyone. Here he comes.

He was a bad, bad boy. And then he had to dress up like a vagina. And now he's back. As we know it. One more time for Cole Alexander, everybody. Thank you. I'm the fuck-up in my family.

And my relationship, I guess, too. Just get that out of the way. No, my sister, she's 26 years old, has a master's degree, and is like a year away from her PhD in medicinal biochemistry. And for her doctorate, she might have found a cure for lung cancer. Get this? She has the nerve to tell me I need to quit smoking. Are you kidding me?

Don't tell me something is bad for me and then go out there and make it no longer bad for me. You fucking martyr. What the hell is that? If anything, she should want me to keep smoking you know i'm your inspiration find the cure save your family i hope she doesn't cure it that would suck for me at least go ahead all right yeah yeah it's What do you buy a Nobel Prize winner for Christmas? My $25 to Starbucks won't fly anymore.

Oh, Starbucks, it's bad for you. I'll be like, why don't you fucking cure that then, okay? Do the one thing you're good at. I tell multiple jokes a night. She might cure one disease in her whole life. Heck yeah. Trim out some of the Starbucks shit. That's a good joke. I tell multiple jokes at night. She might cure one disease in her whole life. Heck yeah. Trim out some of the Starbucks shit. That's a good joke. Hell yeah.

It goes a little bit long there at the end. What did you do last time? I'm so curious. What happened? Can you summarize it? Do we even want to go there? I mean, I don't know. That's his lovely girlfriend there. That's the great Cassandra

Cass is here ladies and gentlemen one of the stars of this show here every single week that she can be and he may have just I made some mistakes yeah he said a lot during the interview part I was prodding she wasn't here I was a little

I was a little bit probably guilty of as well. It happened. You know? I blame you as much as you blame you. How have things been lately? We're good now, I would say. Right?

Yeah. Wow. Look at that. I've been reinstated. We're good. I'm getting a vision. He will mess this up again. My goodness.

So how long have you been doing stand-up, Cole? Year and, what's it in, June? Year and three months. Uh-huh. How do you make money again? I work at a golf course right now. Oh, yeah? You look like you work at a golf course.

Yeah. Thank you. Is that true about your sister? Did she? Yeah. Thank you. Is that true about your sister? Yeah, she found some new chemical in the ocean that kills lung cancer cells. My goodness, one of the hardest cancers to cure. One of the ones with the highest death rate. That is incredible.

Would you start smoking again, Tony, if this is true? No. How did she tell you this? Over text. You should have texted her back, but you're still a woman. You know what I mean? I know what you mean. Just let her know.

That's what I would have texted back. You're in your place. If she didn't text back LOL, then fuck her. Not my sister anymore, that's for sure. That's right. Wow. So that's fun. So your sister is super successful.

You're working on a golf course. What do you do on the golf course? I work outside service. So I pretty much just drive golf carts from one place to where the people take them to play. Are you a heavy drinker? Yeah. You drink almost every night? I take nights off here and there.

But you really go hard when you do drink? I was going to say, good thing you can't get a DUI in a golf cart. Yeah, that's true. Good thing. No, I just kind of like, it's steady when I do drink, you know? So like how many, when you do drink, how much do you drink? About six, seven, eight drinks, you'd say? Yeah, four to six.

Uh-huh. Is that fair? I heard Cassandra making a little bit of a noise over there. Four to six drinks doesn't mean anything. It depends where it's at. You know, like you could be at the Saddle Ranch and you have one drink, and that's like five drinks, you know? Well, that's also the way an alcoholic thinks.

Yes, absolutely. That's Red Band for those of you listening. People that live in tents have that exact same thing. Yeah, exactly. Four or five, eight drinks means nothing. Be at the Saddle Ranch, it doesn't matter where you are. Be in this tent, it doesn't matter. Who cares?

Be drinking out of a toilet, two drinks is six drinks. None of it matters. It's not real. Nothing's real. You look like the designated racist at the golf course where, like, if people need to say racist shit, you're the guy that gets in the car with them. Guy's like, I really need to let off some steam. They're like, all right, put him in.

Let's go. You just get in next to him. You're like, tell me how great Trump is. Let's go. I agree. Let's play 18. I agree. You do look like it. What is your least favorite

race, Cole? Yeah. Women! Come on, I'm kidding. Not a right answer for that one. Really? Sure there is. Asians can take it. They're doing great. I got in trouble enough last time. I'm not going down this route again. Oh, Jesus. What's your least

favorite? You can learn. My least favorite is I'd probably have to go with Middle Eastern comedians. Yeah. Okay, that didn't get what I thought. I was going to say Filipinos. It's a joke. I have a lot of Middle Eastern comedian friends. We're all kidding.

Everyone's great. They're all very successful right now because they're getting all the gigs that white people like me used to get. Yeah. Anyway. This is a real rally now. We've really turned this. It's very uncomfortable saying this to this guy, you know. Right. He's like, I literally can't tell you that every race is my

least favorite race. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. What do you want to do? You want to do comedy full time? What's the goal? Yeah, comedy. You just want to do stand-up? Yeah. Do the road? Yeah, main goal, yeah.

And what's your favorite thing that you've done so far in stand-up in the year and three months that you've been doing it? What's a highlight of your career? What would you consider the coolest gig that you've done so far? Other than being on the number one live podcast in the world. With the top young rising comedians. Sure, yeah. I don't know.

Roast Battle's been fun. How many times have you done Roast Battle? You've done it like two or three times, right? What was that? What did I miss there? What did that mean? Someone yelled out the name of an open mic. Oh, wow.

Fourth wall open mic. Shout out to Joe Menendez. Is that like a safe space for people to want to say the N word? Actually, yeah. That's what it feels like. That's where the real comedy is, bro. That's right. Cole, how often do you do sets sober?

Good question. Like the first one of the night, for sure. First one of the night, but then you just start pounding after that. No, it depends on what night it is. Do you record your sets? Yeah. Do you listen to your sets after drinking? Yeah.

Do you notice a very distinct difference in your sets being sober? He's drunk when he listens to them. He's just listening to himself being thrown out of a bar. No, I stopped drinking as much going up like on stage. Yeah. You know,

it's good after the sets. There you go. That's a good move. You're fucking learning. That's right. Girlfriend's clapping. You have a beautiful, beautiful girlfriend.

Thank you. One of your best sets in the history of this show. Seems like things are picking up for you, right? Yeah. There you go. Cole Alexander, everybody. There you go. Yeah. Very good. So much fun.

Such an exciting thing. You know, we're having so much fun here tonight. Is that a hospital gown? It does look... It's interesting. It kind of looks like a hospital gown. I mean, the costume production on this show has gone up so sky high. It really is.

You will see the billing very soon. Ah. Okay. Just a reminder, we've had a lot of fun on this episode. We looked up, you know, some people's websites and this and that. And it reminds me that today's episode is brought to you by Wix. Wix is the best and easiest place to create a professional website. With Wix, you can start from scratch or choose from over 500 stunning templates.

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You don't have to sit there and code all these websites. It used to take me weeks to do half the stuff that they offer by just dragging and dropping. You could always have it change a different look. You could have a store. It's awesome. And you could do it in seconds. That's right. And if you go to Wix.com slash Tony, you get 10% off any premium plan.

It's something everybody here should have. So once more, join the over 150 million people who have built their website using wix go to wix.com slash tony to get 10 off any premium plan now that's right wix.com slash tony get 10 off any premium plan yeah uh-huh okay what are you doing wait what David, what's going on? You okay? What's going on? Is there a security issue? Is there a breach?

Jesus. Is Big W right over there? Okay, very good. There will be an awkward moment in three, two, one. You're only about ten seconds behind tonight, Quasar. Ladies and gentlemen, you know this, right? We have a regular on this show. I love him.

He's fucking hilarious. I love this guy. This guy has a regular on this show. I love him. He's fucking hilarious. I love this guy. This guy has a style of comedy in which I can honestly say I've never really seen anything like it before. Very innovative. He might be one of the greatest things happening in all of improvisational, loose-lying stand-up comedy right now. He's definitely one of my favorite comedians to watch. He's got a lot of buzz around him. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you one of my favorite comedians, our regular.

This guy writes and performs a brand new 60 Seconds every week. It's the one and only William Montgomery. Here we go. Here he is. The monster. I need you guys to make a lot of noise one more time. What the fuck is going on?

The fuck is going on? The fuck is going on? So my dad's been telling everyone he teaches self-defense classes, and every time I'm just like, Dan, it's just me, you, and mom wrestling around up in y'all's fucking room. Quit getting me in those holds. That's my best joke. It scares me. Y'all didn't laugh at that.

I don't know if y'all have seen Honey, I Shrunk the Kids yet, but that glitter scene... That's my best joke, so it scares me. Y'all aren't laughing at that. So I don't know if y'all heard about that guy that got beat up out front of the grocery store by all the black belts. Y'all are in for a treat. This is probably my best impression uh that is the the guy who confuses black belts with black people wow william montgomery doing it again

came in with a lot of energy guns a blazing lots energy from the top. Dialed it back as he went on. This was an interesting approach. Guns a-blazin'. I'm trying to have fun tonight. Ten years ago, my Aunt Mary died on July 4th, so I'm trying to sort of keep it cool. It was a grisly scene. There was blood everywhere.

She got cut in half on a railroad track. She had diabetes. Oh, track. She had diabetes. Oh, wait. She had, wait a second. So she had diabetes, and then on July 4th, she's doing what, walking across a railroad track? She was. She couldn't hear.

The diabetes took the ability for her to hear. She was on a train track. I was with my brother, Vance, just on the side of the hill. Wow. That's it. Aunt Mary, hang on a second. Just sort of what haunts me is I was on that side of the hill. I saw Aunt Mary,

her abdomen on one side of the tracks, her legs on the other. She got cut in fucking half. I did CPR on her. I tried to save her. You did. Which half did you do CPR on? The top half or the bottom half? Her bottom half.

God. We are something else, William. Yeah, it was a horrible Struggle Let me take that one more time It was a horrible struggle

At first I thought her favorite holiday Was Easter turns out it was July 4th and she was Walking on this train track Yeah Tim the only reason I don't Y'all I think are going to appreciate this. Tim, I did a lot of research on you. I heard about your uncle that got cut in half on the train tracks.

It was a very, it was kind of expected. We expected it. To be honest, it wasn't shocking, but it still hurt him, hurt him. Just slow motion MIA paper planes in the background. Yeah. That was what was playing in the background. Just in the background, Tim and I in the bushes just watching him getting cut in half.

That was his favorite song, Paper Planes by MIA. Yeah. Just Tim and I in the bushes just watching the grisly scene. Yes. Tim screaming at me. Yes. Both of us masturbating. We don't know why, but.

Yeah. Great song. It's a great song. It's just like that. Tim, will you get up here for one second? Will you do the dance we did? Oh, you guys did a dance? Will you put that song on one more time?

They did a dance. It was as my uncle was being severed. Yeah, they did a dance together, it turns out. Here it is. They're about to do it. A little more volume on that music. Let's see what happens here. Hey, Tim, is your uncle cut in half?

Oh, my God, that sucks. He had kids. And then what was the date? He had kids? He had kids, and now they're not going to have a dad, or they'll have two dads. Hold on. What's my kid doing here? Let's give it up for Travis.

William, what was the dance that you guys did? Yeah, this was it, actually. This was our dance. Just us standing by the bush. We had been in a car accident the week earlier, and we're both paralyzed. I can't feel my fucking legs at the time. Wow. Alright. This was the dance.

That was incredible. Hey, Tony? Yes. Joel Jimenez. So the woman that's been trying to hire William reached out to me and asked me if she should bring paperwork tonight. Yeah. William. Well, that woman should be in jail.

We have been trying to get you a new job. Is that something that you're ready to do? Are you going to quit your job at the self-storage unit? I'll just be quite frank. I refuse to work at Kmart. They're trying to get me a gig working the IC machine at Kmart. I can't drink those fucking things no it's not Kmart William

I don't think I don't think oh it's not Kmart yeah it's not Kmart oh whoa my apology see that's my best it scares me y'all aren't laughing more I've really worked on that face hold on you're what does a woman want to hire you to do?

She wants, I am a fan of walking dogs. She heard about that. She heard about a couple years ago. She wants him to be a weed delivery driver. Yeah, a weed delivery person. Okay. Even though you do look like you would be one of those dog walker guys. That looks like a fitting

job for you. And just walking up to the door. I'm fucking sick! I'm gonna walk slow! That's you yelling at dogs? Are you yelling at dogs or the people that own the dogs? Just me yelling at my aunt,

just horrified, knowing I can't save her. Can you do an all-out impression of the exact moment? I want you to look out there and pretend like you're in the bushes again. It's July 4th. There's fireworks, and the train comes.

Your aunt gets hit. Show this audience exactly what it was like for you. Mary, what the fuck are you doing? I love you so much. Why are you walking on the tracks? Oh, it's going to hit her. Here it comes.

You can't hear. Barrett! Oh, my God. She's in two pieces. Now what'd you do? Just me looking over at my brother, Vance. Vance, I don't know if we could... That's what you did? Yeah, I said, Vance, I don't know if we can save her. She had diabetes for six years.

I don't know if y'all are familiar with that disease, but it really sort of takes the taste out of your taste buds. It sort of takes the treble out of your ears. Wow. All right. Well, William. Wow. She's in a better place now. For sure.

She's on the right side of the tracks. She's got it all figured out now. William, I really hope that you take this job that they're offering you. I think she may be here tonight, actually. Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're going to follow up with you tonight, William. Listen, don't take it if you don't want to fucking

take it. I'm starting to think he doesn't want to take it. What I worry about, it's not full time and with my current job, I have health insurance. I worry about that. But William, you never use your health insurance. We've talked about this. This is a thing that your dad has instilled in your head that you need health insurance because he feels

like he can't protect you. Y'all don't repeat that. Something that scares me. I've been horribly unhealthy for years now. And when I am putting deodorant under my arms, there's a little spot that hurts a little bit. Isn't that where your lymph nodes are? Yes. I'm worried I have cancer. Well, when's the

last time you saw a doctor? It's cured, remember? Hold on. That's a different, not all cancers are the same, Brian. Yeah. Is that true, what you're saying? Totally true. Is there a doctor in the house tonight? Is there anybody with any nursing or medical experience? Dr. Kalani? Clearly not.

Is there a single doctor anywhere of any kind? Dr. Kalani? Clearly not. Is there a single doctor anywhere of any kind? Dr. Kalani? Is there really a doctor over there? No? All right. I was just figuring we could check William for cancer. But that would also be very weird if we found out William had cancer on this show. That would be crazy.

The bad case scenario would be one of the saddest moments. That would be a fun improv challenge, you know? Zipper critters. How good are we? He's got AIDS. Go! He plays the Ouija board a bunch. It does a great Schwarzenegger impression.

William, the catch with you working that storage... He plays Monopoly. The catch with William working the storage unit job is that he absolutely can never do the road at all, ever. He can never do any gig outside of Los Angeles for life if you keep doing that job. What do I do? I implore you to go get a checkup, get your lymph nodes checked,

and if you don't have cancer, get the fuck out of the self-storage unit and take the job. Yeah. Me with the lady tonight. There he goes, William Montgomery, everybody. Or just take a couple days off once in a while. Yeah. Two-week notice, give a couple days off. Yeah, they don't even let him do that. Really? That's the thing, yeah. They don't let him move his schedule around. He needs to have a while. Yeah. Two week notice, give a couple days off. They don't even let him

do that. Really? That's the thing, yeah. They don't let him move his schedule around. He needs to have a sit down. It's a very bizarre job that he has, but of course, he's a wild man. What do you guys say? Bucket one more time? We gotta keep this show tight. One more. Let's do it. One last time. Okay. David

Paulus. David Paulus. P-A-U-L-U-S. Put that back corner again. This is exciting. This is going to be the last comedian of the episode. Extra tight episode. Hey, by the way, little fun fact, we're back next week with the return of Dane Cook,

everybody. How cool is that? Here he is. One more time for your final comedian, David Paulus. I've always been a fat chick magnet. Something about this just screams I'll take anything. But it wasn't always that way. There was a time when I had a little bit of money. I was a little bit younger.

Could afford to have a social life, and I did pretty well with the ladies. Last few years happened. I turned 40. I'm fucking broke. Now I get recession pussy. You know, guys, the kind of woman that talks to you when you're falling apart at the seams, can't afford to buy him a drink? But it's okay because I know my place in all this.

I walk into a bar on the off chance. I see a beautiful woman. I walk right past her. I know I can't afford that emotionally or financially. So I spot my demographic at the bar, walk up and say something original and clever like, come here often. And she normally replies, and she throws me over her shoulder and she walks me out to the Falcon. Thank you.

Okay, 48 seconds of thunder. David Paulus. That set was very 2019, you know? Taking down fat chicks. Yeah. Walking into a bar.

There's a minute. Looking at women like prey. Yeah. Yeah. Man, David, you've been doing this, what, four months? Roughly January. Yep. Four months.

Close enough. Six months. Perfect. You have a lot of, I sense a lot of anger in you from Chicago. Detroit. Detroit. Detroit. Very fucking close.

Very close. It's about a two-hour drive, right? Yes, sir. Four hours. Sure. Okay. Like I said, sense a lot of anger in you. You feel like a cop who was suspended for shooting a pregnant woman.

Yeah. Is this close to true? That's the energy you have. How old are you? I am newly 40. 40 years old. Wow. That's right. And you said you're. How old are you? I am newly 40. 40 years old. That's right. And you said you're broke.

Why are you broke? I took a business risk a few years ago. What was the risk? I'm in debt. I made a movie. You made a movie? Yeah. Oh, my goodness.

What kind of movie did you make? Comedy. Sharknado? No, I wish. I would have made money. What kind of comedy was it? True story. Of what?

Best Thanksgiving ever. It's about something that happened on Thanksgiving in 2008. What kind of comedy was it? True story. Of what? Best Thanksgiving ever. It's about something that happened on Thanksgiving in 2008. What happened? My brother never made it to L.A. because he had a whole fucking disaster of his own life. So I ended up entertaining his friends. And that woman squirted for us. A woman squirted for you on Thanksgiving? Us.

There was a really strange situation that occurred. Sorry, I'm giving you the cliff notes. How much, what was the budget of this film? Good question. Half a million. Get the fuck out of here. Half a million dollars. You raised the half a million dollars. Yeah. Wow. What happened?

Oh my god, I almost passed out. That's so scary. Anybody that thinks it can't happen. Well, you know what I mean? Like, anybody who thinks you can't raise the money and squander it and ruin your life. You absolutely can. This was your little baby, right? You wrote the script? This was a progression in doing more than just waiting for the phone to ring because it never fucking does.

Sure, well, not in Detroit it doesn't. I talked to some people, people more credible than me, and they said, you've got to write. And I started writing, and I had a little story to tell and collaborated with some people. Where did you get the money from this? I worked in commercial real estate about 15 years ago right out of college before I moved to New York and then L.A. And so I just – the people that I know from that world – Is there anywhere where we can even find this movie? Yeah, can we watch it?

Yes. It's available on Amazon Prime. It's also available on pay-per-view on most cable syndicates. Okay, you had us at Amazon Prime. I don't think anybody's going to pay-per-view this hunk of garbage. It's also on the dark web. It's at Circuit City. If you want to go to several chat rooms and find it, there's a password.

It's on Amazon Prime, and it's called Best Thanksgiving Ever? Best Thanksgiving Ever. Oh, my god. Now when you watch it back, are you proud of it or do you want to just put a gun in your mouth? Tell the truth. The last five years has been hell, but every time I

see it, it makes me feel good and I feel like I did the right thing. Let me ask you this. I love that because you did accomplish something. That is quite the accomplishment. It is. How much money did you end up making back on the return? It took me five years to get distribution of sorts, and November it just started, so we're not even there yet. The cost of Outwith.

Sure, but how much have you – what's the plus or minus on it? Minus 500. So what are you at? You made like $7,000 or $8,000 maybe? No, no, no. Yes, around there, but that's been the cost to the company. Sorry, TMI for all you casual fucking... No, it's not TMI.

I'm the host of the show, and I control what questions are asked. It's not... Distribution companies have costs. You're as good at being a guest as you are at making movies. Listen, man, you did it. You did the thing. Do you ever just fucking, when you look at your friends, do you have kids, wife, any of that?

No, no, no. But when you look at the idiots with those things, do you ever just feel, you know what I mean? Dumb people with their dumb kids on Christmas. Do you ever say, feel good that you fucking did, you fucking lived your dream? You made a movie about somebody who squirted.

I'm going to tell you this. I'm watching this tonight when I get home. I'm going on my Amazon and I'm looking at best Thanksgiving ever. No, I really am. I really am. I watched a real garbage pile last night. It was... How long is it?

Me too. Hour and a half. Any big names in it? We had about five recognizable porn stars in the strip club scene. Oh, yeah. And Eric Roberts is in it for a shake. And then a few recognizable TV actors that you may not know their name, but you know. What's the biggest porn star?

Shit. Exactly. Sarah Jesse, Jessa Rhodes, Brooke Haven. she's big oh okay alright you said big alright moving on uh huh

well that's a really interesting thing I mean it's very compelling we've never had anyone on that I think has made a movie, period. Not to mention something as compelling, like a real story that people don't know about. And you made it true. You made it to yourself. And who knows, by the way, there's fucking cult classics that go a long time without ever being discovered.

What is your brother, like the brother who never made it to L.A., what does he do? What does he do? Yeah. He just got out of I'm sorry. He's 47 going on 17, but he's on the up. He's just got his shit together. Oh, wow. We found the trailer for it. It would be really funny if you were like, he's the governor of California.

That would be hilarious. That is not the case. Okay, well. Look at this. We found the trailer for it, everybody. Thank you for giving us the gift of our sexuality. Wow. Wow. Wow, this is exciting.

You want to do the movie trailer voice for this? In a world where a man has ruined his life to make a film that would have been good in 2003 when you and your bros got high and saw a movie by accident, come and watch the Thanksgiving squirt 2003, when you and your bros got high and saw a movie by accident. Come and watch the Thanksgiving squirt. Wow, if it's anything like its trailer, it is a real pile of shit. Hey man, you survived.

Fuck it. You survived. You survived. You're on stage. You're doing it. You're on the biggest stage of the number one comedy club in the world right now. All of that led you to here. That's right. Fuck the movie business led you to here. That's right. Fuck the movie business.

It's over. It's all about YouTube. Most people come to L.A., make a piece of shit movie, and go out with their tail between their legs back to Detroit. You made a piece of shit movie in Detroit, and you moved to L.A. to fucking take over. There he goes, David Paulus, everybody. Did you guys have fun tonight?

Yeah. You motherfuckers. The great and powerful Tim Dillon goes to Wiseguys this weekend. Cleveland Hilarities, July 19th and 20th in San Diego, August 1st to the 3rd. Make some noise for Tim Dillon, ladies and gentlemen. Look at that drawing from Ryan J. Ebel featuring the fortune tellers and us on tarot cards. Unbelievable work, Ryan J. All those prints are available at ryanjebelt.com. How about a good hand for Qualzar Jeremiah Watkins, everybody. Jeremiah's got a lot going on. One of the top

comedy albums in the world, Reagan and Watkins. One of the biggest podcasts happening, Jeremiah Wonders. One of the great YouTube channels, Jeremiah Watkins. One of the great social media sites, Jeremiah Stand Up. And you and Pat just had a very successful trip down to San Diego. You've got to see these guys live. And you're going to Phoenix soon too, right? Going to Phoenix as well as Huntington Beach. We'll be at the Rec Room.

William Montgomery is coming. Joel Jimenez. Chroma Chris on bass is going to be the whole Kill Tony band plus William Montgomery. How about a big hand for Chroma Chris tonight, huh? Oops, sorry. Yep. And volume three of the Jeremiah Wonders roadcast is up

now with Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redman, and Joel Jimenez. That's right. We had a fun one. We're talking a lot of bison over there on this new roadcast, these motherfuckers. Everybody's telling me that I saw a bison, by the way. You guys are real fools, I'm telling you. How about another hand for Chroma Chris, a.k.a. Benito Mussolini over there?

Thank you. You can follow me at Chroma Chris on Instagram. And you're on Twitter now too, right? No. Oh, okay. I've been tagging somebody else the last two weeks. Oh, yeah. Somebody else has my name, which is why I don't have

Twitter. Oh, okay. What do you think about tonight's episode, retard? It will be the number one most listened to podcast next week. Wow. Look at that. I can tell you that will not come true. Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait.

I didn't see this. Number one live podcast next week. Hey, I like that. How about one more time for Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez, everybody. Come on. Joel Berg's on social media, mostly. Sorry. He's going to be coming with us to Philly and Pittsburgh

and another big announcement coming up a really big announcement for if there's any of our people that listen from the old down under huh huh stay tuned to some of these upcoming episodes for a couple more massive tour announcements

anything else you want to say Joel love you guys. Peace. Follow him on social media. Go see Tim Dillon live. Live audience, thank you so much. Red Band. See you guys. Bye, everybody. Thank you.

Thank you.ご視聴ありがとうございました Thank you. you