KILL TONY - KILL TONY #383 - FT WAYNE #1

Episode Date: August 8, 2019

Todd Berry, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 08/03/2019 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, DeathSquad.TV. There you have every past episode of Kill Tony, including video portions of the show. And if you click on Tour Dates, you can come see us live. Not only are we at the Comedy Store every Monday, but we are on the road. October 3rd, we're in Dallas, Texas. October 16th and 17th, we are in Sacramento. Dallas, Texas. October 16th and 17th, we are in

Sacramento. October 18th and 19th, we are in San Francisco for Kill Tony Mania. And November 17th, we're in Washington, D.C. We have a bunch of new dates about to be added, so go to DeathSquad.TV and click on Tour Dates

for the latest information. Also, Tony Hinchcliffe has his own website. He's got some dates up there. He's got some merch. Go to Tony Hinchcliffe has his own website. He's got some dates up there. He's got some merch. Go to TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything. Golden Pony. And Ryan J. Ebelt has his own website. He draws every episode.

Ryan J. Ebelt.com. And last but not least, ShopSquad.tv. There you got the official merchandise of the Death Squad universe. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Redman coming to you live from the Let's Fest in Fort Wayne, Indiana for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hitchclack.

Yeah, Fort Wayne. Come on. Make more noise than that. Yippee-doo-dah-day. Here we are in Fort Wayne, Indiana, ladies and gentlemen. Look, Brian Redband's here, everybody. Thought this was John Lovitz for a second. It's this good old Brian Redband up here in

a Hawaiian shirt. No better place to wear a Hawaiian shirt than a place so much like Hawaii, Fort Wayne, Indiana, where we are back for the second year in a row. How about that? Fort Wayne, a hot spot. We come here. We are live at this sold-out room of 62 people. This is incredible. Packed to the gills. It's a fire hazard in here. Ladies and gentlemen, a lot of people know we've been doing theaters globally lately.

Yeah. But today we are at the Tiger Room at Welch's Ale House in Fort Wayne, Indiana. It just goes to show we don't forget where we came from. You know what I mean? The Tiger Room at Welch's Ale House in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Just goes to show we don't forget where we came from. You know what I mean? We will always play to our roots. We're like a good Republican politician. You know what I mean?

We're willing to go to the middle of the... That guy clapped for Republicans. Very good. Heck yeah, sir. It's good to be back here in a city that still has a family video. There is a video store that operates. There are employees walking around waiting for people to come in to rent videos

to take home with them. It's a real thing. If you're wondering, hey, I wonder if it's like that everywhere. Nope, that's it. Really stood out to us. Holy shit, look, a video store. It was like seeing a goddamn kangaroo or

something like that. We stopped for a second. We made sure it was real. Anyway, it's good to be here. We travel everywhere. I'm doing stand-up next weekend in Miami, Florida, and then the first weekend of September in Key West. Red Band's headlining San Diego, August 17th at American Comedy Company. I'm headlining the Hollywood Improv, August 23rd. And then we go back to Dallas, Texas. We do a Kill Tony, a few stand-up shows there, October 3rd through the 5th. October 16th through 17th, Sacramento, the road to Kill Tony Mania. And then October 18th and 19th, that's it, Kill Tony Mania, San Francisco, California. Our biggest annual event for Kill Tonys in two nights. And that's crazy stuff.

And then the week after that, believe it or not, we're going to Australia for the first time ever. Kill Tony in giant theaters. Tickets go on sale in two weeks for Australia. So if you're listening and you live in Australia, it's two weeks from now. You can buy tickets. And then November 7th, our first ever Kill Tony in Washington, D.C. And then some stand-up shows

November 8th and 9th. And I believe I believe, this is not official yet, but I believe we might be adding another Gramercy Theater date at the end of that in beautiful New York City before we head home. So if you're listening from New York, congratulations. You're the first person to find out that we're going back to the

Gramercy Theater. But tonight, it's about Fort Wayne, Indiana. And as you guys know, you guys fans of this podcast? Well then, as you know, normally on these shows, we go guestless. We don't normally have a guest on the road shows, but today is a very special day.

I get to cross off one of my all-time favorite comedians off the bucket list of people that have never been on this show before. This is incredible for me. Ever since I was a fucking kid, staying up past my bedtime watching Letterman,

this guy has been one of my favorite comedians ever. It is an honor to have him on the show. I can't believe it's happening in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the great Todd Berry. Wow. Wow. Wow. This is incredible. Hey! Todd Berry, everybody. This is awesome. Welcome to the show, Todd. Not only have I never done this show, I've never listened to this show.

Well, we're excited to have you. That's another bucket list of yours. Welcome, welcome. You're in Fort Wayne today. I am because of this. We're happy to have you. No, I'm happy to be here. This is going to be fun. We're going to watch some comedians do comedy.

Maybe it's their first time. Maybe they've done it before. It's going to be crazy. We're going to enjoy it. Maybe you can help them out. You're one of the... Oh, no, I'm going to shred them. I love it. We're one of the... Oh, no, I'm going to shred them. I love it. We're excited.

We have Todd Berry. And as you guys know, you die hard Kill Tony fans, there is a band on this show. Yeah. And while the entire band couldn't make it, we were able to bring the leader of the band. Every single episode, he commits to being a different character. Maybe it's the return of one of his famous characters.

Maybe it's a brand new character we've never seen or heard of before. There's been a lot of those lately. So let's all see what he is tonight, shall we? Ladies and gentlemen, it's the best damn band in the land. It's Jeremiah Watkins, the Kill Tony band. From Reagan and Watkins fame. Mr. Postman.

Oh, look at this. Wow. Here he comes. Wow. This is a real postman, ladies and gentlemen. This is incredible. Wow. This is a real postman, ladies and gentlemen. This is incredible. Wow. A real postman from the post office. This is incredible. He handed me a piece of mail. This is very exciting. Welcome to the show, Mr. Postman.

Hello, how are you guys? Wow, I didn't realize you were Native American. I am 100% European. European? I've never seen a postman wear an oven mitt before. What's going on there? Did you leave something in the oven? Sometimes I get cold and hot at the same time. How long have you been a postman for?

1,300 years. 1,300 years he's been working at the post office. Before mail. I was on the first Pony Express. Wow, okay. And your name? I was on the first Pony Express. Wow, okay. And your name is Walter Fig? Walter, yes.

Okay. Wow, the energy is buzzing in this room. Just how I like it. Right before my nap. Thank you for being here. Well, Walter. Yeah, you really brought the room to a...

all the excitement that we could expect of a postman. I think people still use postmen around here, too. They have a family video. You ever deliver mail to a family video before? I just restocked the red box on 3rd Street.

I don't think they have a 3rd Street here in Fort Worth. Are you single or do you have like a postmate? Like do you have another, like a girl? My wife's been dead for 30 years. Oh, boy. Have you ever been attacked by a dog? Good question. Am I allowed to speak?

Yes. You're looking at me like I wasn't supposed to speak. I'm sorry. Are we doing crowd work right now? Yes, you're allowed to speak, and yes, I've been attacked by many dogs. A Doberman Pinscher took my Achilles out one time. Took your whole Achilles? Yeah, it bit into my Achilles out one time. Took your whole Achilles? Yeah, it bit into my Achilles.

The right Achilles on my foot is actually a replacement of a baby dog. Okie dokie, Walter. I think we're colliding some thoughts there. Jeremiah is one half of the hit band Reagan and Watkins. He'll be selling vinyls and CDs available after the show. He'll sign them for you.

Also available after the show is the brand spanking new Ryan J. Ebel Design Rockin' Pins Made Kill Tony pin. Glows in the dark. Double reinforced steel. Very exciting. And there's also Tony Hinchcliffe pins. The rare elusive with my face on it.

And it doesn't have the facial hair, but if you want, I'll take a black Sharpie and I'll make the mustache right on the spot. I'll even leave a little space in the middle to keep it authentic. So those are available after the show. But we have the postman. We have Todd Berry. We have Red Band. We have everything we need, which brings me to this, ladies and gentlemen. It is the Fort Wayne Bucket of Destiny where anything can happen.

A bunch of people signed up before the show. You should know how it works. If I pull your name out of the bucket, you get 60 seconds on that microphone uninterrupted. You know your 60 seconds is up in here. The sound of a kitten. That means wrap it up then, or, you're going to bring out the angry Babylon bear. I didn't get the pop I thought I was going to get.

Let's try it one more time. Wrap it up then. Earl, you're going to bring out the angry West Central bear. Is that a gayer reference than Babylon? Yes, very gay neighborhood around here. I delivered some mail, and it was actually a man in a box. Oh.

After that, after you're set, we interview you, we talk with you, try to find out more about you, maybe other stuff about your life that's interesting. And that's it. You guys ready to start this show? We're live. This is so exciting. Oh, that's where you want them to enter?

Yeah, just look. There's multiple entrances to this stage. The real trick is just taking your time getting on or off once you make it to the stage part. It's a little bit of a high-rise stage here. I don't think you're going to make it around all these to this one because there's all these thick Fort Wayne thighs everywhere. Just everybody just eating

fucking deep-fried potato balls every day of the week before swinging into family video to fucking eat more Twizzlers or something like that. Yeah, I said it. This is a Twizzler-eating city if I've ever seen it before. All right, I pulled a name out of the bucket. Here we go. 60 seconds uninterrupted going to

your first comedian tonight. Put your hands together for Jay Kennedy. Here we go. Here he comes. Here comes Jay. Wow, that is music. One more time for Jay Kennedy, everybody. So I was watching TV the other day. I do that a lot. I've got a lot going on in my life. I saw a Samsung commercial.

Apparently the new Samsung phone and their products have this technology that you can share. You know, if you've got different products, you can, you know, if someone's down on battery, you can share your battery. The commercial starts off, you know, two people in a coffee shop, strangers. You know, one guy's got no battery. Girl looks over, yeah, you can take my battery, whatever. That guy then goes, you know, somewhere else, shares it with somebody else, it kind of does this full circle to where, you know, five minutes later

the guy's back in the same coffee shop with a different girl, who then he hands his, you know, Samsung product, says, yeah, you can go ahead and take mine. And I just really thought, yeah. Wow. I mean, that was incredible, Jay.

Descriptive. That was mind-boggling. Did you rehearse that a little bit? Not at all. Wow. Because you can time it and see. Yeah. Yeah, I thought of that one like yesterday when I was watching TV.

Not off the presses. What were you watching? Bad Samsung commercials? While getting hit in the head with an aluminum baseball bat i didn't really get to the punch line it was just more so how samsung thinks that that many people have samsung products where you know you're going to be able to share it with a random person look at that is that a samsung it is yeah well you're not a sheep you don't have an apple product are you asking me questions now? Jay, what's...

Yeah, let's check in with Walter Figg, the local postman. During his shit, did anybody else smell burning toast? No, that was just you, Walter. I think that's the sign of a stroke. So let's talk about it, Jay. Is this your first time attempting stand-up comedy? Yes. Wow, congratulations. There you go Jay. Is this your first time attempting stand-up comedy? Yes.

Wow, congratulations. There you go. The go to the first time. You've got to give him credit for that. I have no idea what the fuck you were talking about the entire time. Yeah, I didn't either. Yeah. What do you think happened up there?

Did you blank out a little bit? Was your vision a little more clear before you got on stage? I mean, I had the idea of the punchlineline just didn't really have any set up in mind. What was the punchline? Yeah, what was it going to be? Just that no one has Samsung. I mean, I kind of explained to how no one uses Samsung products and that Samsung really thinks that, you know, that many people will use their products to, you know,

where this technology will be useful. Okay, yeah, still, that's not a punchline. Where you're going to run into a random stranger kind of and like, oh, yeah, can I, you know, get some charge? Okay, no, stop. Just stop, stop, stop. Did you wonder, like, if they're a company that no one uses, how did they afford those commercials? You're asking the tough questions.

I know, I am. Just telling you that this is the type of shit you have to think about. I'm not really scolding him. I'm playing around. Oh, I shouldn't announce that. I'm fucking scold scolding him. I'm playing around. I shouldn't announce that. I'm fucking scolding you, man. So, Jay, let's talk about it. How old are you?

23. 23 years old. Very cool. You're from here in Fort Wayne? From Elkhart, Indiana, northern Indiana. Oh, what's up in that part of Indiana? RVs and meth. RVs and meth.

No, RVs, like recreational vehicles. No, not RVs. Well, I mean, there's a couple of them. There's probably RVs, too. RVs and meth. No, RVs. Like recreational vehicles. Not Arby's. Well, I mean, there's a couple of them. There's probably Arby's too, let's be real. That'd be a good business. Arby's and Arby's. Or Arby's and Arby's. I think Arby's first and Arby's second. Alright.

Is that the only joke you've ever written? I wouldn't really call it writing, but yeah, pretty much. Okay. I haven't written it. It was more just stuck in my head. Okay. I should probably try that.

It was stuck in your head. The thought of Samsung was stuck in your head, and you had the audacity to criticize their commercials. You're like, I cannot stop thinking about Samsung. Fuck them. I'm going to show them. I'm going to roast their commercial. I'm going to show them. I'm going to roast their commercial. I'm going to give it another commercial.

As we learned today, some things should be kept as thoughts inside here. I think the joke's on us. Samsung probably gave this guy money to just come up and say Samsung 48 times. No way you could say it. He's like, I'll fucking do it, dude. It's the number one one podcast in the world.

I'm going to say Samsung 48 times. It was 30 cents per Samsung. Oh, shit. 0 for 9. The numbers are not looking good. Jake Kennedy is dying on stage like an actual Kennedy would. What's your job? I work in logistics. You work in logistics?

Yeah, so I... You could have mapped out that joke better. Yeah. Look at Walter. Walter's attempting to clap right now. He doesn't really have it. So Jay, you work in logistics. Do you love your job?

No, not really. I mean, it's exciting, I guess. I've only been doing it for like three months. Yeah. What do you do for fun? What is a 23-year-old in northern Indiana?

Workout. I mean, I've been trying to teach myself piano. I don't know. Not a whole lot to do. Why does it look like in high school he went all state in date rape? It's true.

He does look like that. For those of you that are just listening, he looks like an all state date rapist. Have you ever... Jay, have you ever had You didn't deserve that by the way A bad joke doesn't deserve what he just did to you Have you ever had consensual sex With a woman before

Yeah How recently Two weeks ago Now who was this Who was this girl What was her name? No. No, was it?

No, Brian. There was no reason for that. That is not very nice. You're saying he fucked a pig? My goodness. The Twizzler Town. Oh, come on. Okay, so no, not her name.

That wouldn't be the interesting thing. The question is more like, where did you meet her? Have you done it before? It was Tinder. Yeah, and that was the first time encounter. Wow, first time. Did she know you were a comedian? I can't answer that.

She could be in this audience right now. She still wouldn't think you're a comedian. It's logistically impossible. So you're on Tinder. You find the girl, and then what happens? You're like, hey, want to hang out? Want to come over and hang out in my place? Pretty much, yeah. And you have your own apartment?

Nope, live in my dad's basement. You live in your dad's basement. Wow. This was actually, I mean, this was in Bloomington. I was moving out of my last apartment. I went to school at IU, so I was moving my stuff out. Just matched with her on Tinder that night. Wow.

Yeah, I had pretty much all my furniture moved out except for my mattress. Oh, shit. Perfect. Yeah. Goodness gracious. Where'd you take her on the date? There wasn't a date. Oh, you just went right into it.

You're like, hey, want to come over to my dad's basement? No, it was in the apartment in Bloomington. It wasn't a date. Oh, you just went right into it. You're like, hey, want to come over to my dad's basement? No, it was in the apartment in Bloomington. It wasn't there. Oh, okay. Yeah, as I was moving stuff out. So she came over. Did she look as good as she did on her Tinder avatar? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah. And then what happens to you? You guys are sitting on the couch at first? There is no couch. Right. Yeah, it was the floor. Yeah, there was no couch. There's no couch. Right. It was the floor. There was no

couch. You should marry this woman. There was just one mattress in the apartment. Literally just a mattress. Yes. She came in. She sat down on the mattress. I gave her a warning. I was like, hey, I'm moving my stuff out. I look like I live in a crack den, but I promise I'm not. That is the reddest

red flag. How was her hygiene? Did she seem homeless at all or anything like that? She seemed clean, yeah I didn't smell anything Mike, did you have sheets on the bed? Yeah You didn't smell anything? That's a little suspect

Did you use a condom? No Wow, look at you, you dirty dog. You dirty, dirty dog. My goodness. So how long did you last? I didn't have my time around. I don't know.

Long enough, I guess. We know he doesn't time things. Well, yeah. I mean, a minute does seem a lot longer than you think. Yeah. Wow. So, my goodness. That is very incredible.

And you've been teaching yourself piano? I guess. I mean, I bought a music theory for dummies book. Music theory for dummies? Yeah. You should get STDs for dummies. It's true, man. That is some incredible stuff.

That's risky business. You do Tinder a lot? I don't know what a lot is. Sure. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. There's something really douchey about you. I get that a lot.

You have the most unbelievable confidence out of anyone that I know lives in their father's basement. It's mind-boggling to me. For a guy who just bombed, that is some confidence you've got right there. Do you ever ask your dad for a spot when you're lifting weights in his basement? No, but it is funny because I do lift weights in his basement, but no, I don't. That's why I asked you if you ever asked him for a spot. Hey, Dad, come down here. I'm maxing out right now.

I'm having trouble understanding why Walter Figg, you're a white guy from Europe, but you sound exactly like a Native American. I'm having a little trouble understanding that. I am 100% American, white, european male but you seem like you're saying that so that people don't take your land or something like that like it seems like but tinder in my age was smoke signals to other villages all right sometimes you would see a boob form in the the smoke okay walter all right well jay, Jay, you did stand up for the very first time here today.

How do you feel? Shitty. Wow. All right. There you go. Go back to your dad's basement. Jay Kennedy, everybody. On to the next one.

Doesn't get any better than that. Just doesn't get any better than that. It just doesn't get any better than that. How do you feel? Shitty. Wow. How about a hand for the band over here? Playing them off. Let's keep it moving along.

Pulled another name out of the bucket. Your next comedian goes by the name of Rhett Shimberg. Rhett Shimberg. Here he comes. Here comes Rhett. Here he is. Rhett Shimberg, everyone. Okay.

So single for the first time in a while, a few months ago. And I started getting on the dating app, so Tinder, Bumble, all that stuff. But being a bigger guy with a dad bod, it's pretty tough. It's a big pool of guys out there. Made me want to kind of just make a catfish account. Not even just a hot girl. I feel like I could get more matches if I had an actual catfish. Thank you. Say something like, I like long swims in the river. I'll nibble on your arm if you stick it in my hole. Sorry guys, I'm a little nervous.

Once I get to know a girl though, usually goes a little nervous. Once I get to know a girl, though, it usually goes a little better. I have a gay cousin. He was a big influence on my life, so it makes me just gay enough to get along with girls. I don't like to suck dick, but I know all the words to mean girls. Thank you. There you go. Here he is Don't be worried about being nervous by the way What was that? Don't worry about being nervous

You're new at this and you're sitting You're standing three inches from like the best comedian in the world Thank you I was proud of myself for having a joke Well there you go Which one was it? comedian in the world. Thank you. I was proud of myself for having a joke. Which one was it? I'm going to go with the second one. Maybe. No, that's good.

You're adorable. You're a giggly little guy, aren't you? I like to think so. Heck yeah. Is that your first time on stage? Yes, sir. Wow. First time ever. We're popping cherries here tonight. My goodness. This is exciting. How old are you, Rhett?

23. 23-year-old beautiful lesbian. It's always fun to have diversity on this show. We had a straight white male that raw dogs, hookers, lives in his dad's basement, the epitome of white privilege. And here we are with a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. What's your name again? Rhett. What's your job?

I'm an industrial engineer. Okay. Oh, wow. You just moved to town on Thursday. Could have built a better structure for that joke. I love that. Yeah. Todd Berg.

So funny. Did you say your name is Rhett? Yes. Like without the B? Exactly. Okay. That's a cool name. R-H-E-T-T.

Yes, sir. Is that your real name? Yep. All right. My goodness. That's a terrible question I just asked. So you're from here in Fort Wayne? No, I'm not.

I just moved here on Thursday. Why? For work. For work. I'm originally from Tampa, Florida. Lived in Wichita, Kansas for about six months before this. Nice airport in Wichita. It's not too bad.

It is nice. Pretty small, but pretty nice. I didn't need to bring that up, I guess. It's not an airport. For all you Wichita Airport fans out there listening. Some entertaining podcasting here. Hell yeah. I love that you put the mic to your side like Anthony Jeselnik after every answer to every question.

Thank you. All right. So, Rhett, you're 23 years old. You just moved here. Are you excited about your move to Fort Wayne? Have you gone to the family video yet? I haven't. But in Wichita, Kansas, I saw probably three or four family videos.

Wow. Then this is an upgrade for you. Yeah. Have you been to one of the $50 stores they have here? Nope, not yet. Okay. Wow. I thought that would get a bigger laugh.

So tell us about you, Rhett. What makes you you? Any fun facts about Rhett that we should know about? You have a weird family? Do you do anything fun? Hobbies? I mean, I got a pretty big family. Everybody lives back in Tampa. I can tell. It's genetic. Not everybody's as big as me,

surprisingly. Right. everyone's back in Tampa What else? Let's see Last two years in high school, I was on the bowling team Oh, the bowling team, were you the ball? What's your What's your high game? My high game, I think it was like a

237 maybe But enough about your weight I like your Pretty accurate 37 maybe? But enough about your weight. I like your mock assurance. Pretty accurate. Heck yeah. Well, now that you're in Fort Wayne, your life is in the gutter, so the bowling experience should come back to Yeah, that was

that joke was a 7-10 split. Seven. Can we have turkey for lunch? Do you have any living in lunch? Do you have any, living in Florida, do you have any Florida stories that you're ashamed of that you've done or your family? Yeah, you ever walk in on your father having sex with an alligator or something like that?

No, honestly, nothing that crazy. I mean, growing up in Florida, I don't understand all the Florida man stuff because everything just seems normal to me. Right. Coming out to the Midwest, I mean, it's definitely a lot more tame. Do you know I graduated from UF? You did?

I just graduated from UF. Did you really? Yes, sir. Which dorm did you live in? Beatty. That's where I lived. West. Wow.

Beatty West. Yeah, me too. Holy shit. This is incredible. That's a little weird that we both live in the same dorm. What floor were you on in the dorm? Fifth floor. It's on third.

I thought he was going to be on the sixth floor and he was going to be on the ninth floor. You mean like a 69 joke? That's what that was. I could get you fired from the post office for that. It's making me uncomfortable. My goodness. So, Rhett, this is true. You're single and... Not single anymore.

Whoa, you found someone here in Fort Wayne since you got here on Thursday? It's back in Wichita. Oh, long distance. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Red band. On fire. How far is W Oh, my goodness. Red band. On fire.

How far is Wichita from here? Too far. It's like a 12-hour drive, I think. So what's your plan on seeing this girl again? We have some plans to go to some football games together, do some. Yeah. What? Hold on.

We're both big college football fans. She went to Kansas State. I'm going to go to one of those games. She's going to come back to Florida, visit each other every once in a while, see how it works out. Oh, you guys have weeks left in this relationship. This is incredible.

You're just waiting around for the college football season to start. Yeah, nothing gets a woman riled up like an NCAA game. Yeah. I actually broke up with my ex-girlfriend of six years on Valentine's Day. Wow. My goodness.

Class act. Why did you pick Valentine's Day? I mean, things were falling apart for a while, and I didn't want to have a really nice valentine's day just to lead her on so i figured what you're spinning this is a nice thing that you did exactly why wouldn't you do it like the week before though that seems so cruel there there was there was a big fight like the weekend right before what was the fight about yeah i love hearing about that give us the juicy details uh it had to do with like i mean I had been in Wichita for a month.

She didn't like me hanging out with other people all the time. A little controlling. Yeah. How did she know you were hanging out with other people? You told her? Yeah, I would tell her. You mean other women or just hanging out with friends? I mean other women and friends.

Oh, you were cheating on her. Was not cheating. I promise that. No, you weren't cheating on her, but you immediately found a girl in Wichita that you're willing to live 12 hours away from and just meet up with and go to college football games and masturbate most days of the year. Spot on. Wow. That's incredible. So on Valentine's Day, was this over the phone?

Yeah, over FaceTime. Actually, I started to do it, you do it the day before Valentine's Day. Yes. You were like, hey, there's something I have to tell you. I want to break up. Did you already buy chocolate and stuff? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You had chocolate?

It was an edible arrangement. Chocolate-covered strawberries sent to her that I couldn't cancel. She should break up with you for getting her an edible arrangement. It was just the chocolate-covered strawberries. Yeah, I heard you. Thank you. They showed up, I think, the day after Valentine's Day, after the breakup was official.

Oh, hell yeah. Nothing better than melted chocolate on soggy strawberries to really end a relationship. Also interesting, they couldn't nail a February 14th delivery date. It is a little strange. You think that's what they would do best. And she's in Florida, right?

Yeah, she is. Was she upset when you broke up with her? Oh, yeah. It was a rocky relationship, but... Rocky road? She lives in Florida. She just moved to Georgia. Okay.

A little closer, too. Still all the way across the country. Is she dating anyone new in Georgia? Not that I know of. She just moved there. Oh, I thought you were trying to shoehorn something in there. There are black men in Georgia. That is the sound effect of the Apollo 13.

Rhett Schimberg, congratulations, dude. Your first time ever on stage. Thank you very much. There he is. There he goes. Just counting down the days for the big Kansas State Wildcat football game so that he can get a hand job in a parking lot at a football stadium. See, that's like a Native American song you just played.

That is a European tribal song. No, it's not. No, it's not. That is an Indian, a Native American song. I know it for a fact. And I'm telling you, you're here.

Okay. Got another name out of the bucket. Let's see what happens here. Make some noise for Jacob eBay. Jacob eBay. Here he comes. Here comes Jacob, ladies and gentlemen. He's walking to the stage. Here he is.

One more time for Jacob, everyone. Hello. So I've always considered myself as a straight guy until the other day I was having sex and I realized that I had a big pink dildo on my butt. It all started with a slip of a finger. Speaking of being gay, I think pro wrestling kind of gets a bad rep.

So it's all, at least they're up front about everything being staged, but I think other sports are staged as well, like NASCAR, for instance. They have heroes and villains, and I'm pretty sure it's all intentional. You have Dale Earnhardt, who was a great hero, tragically died in a fire. Then you have Tony Stewart, ran a guy over, Kind of took the whole villain thing over the top. Then, um... Okay, so I also want to apologize to the person I was sitting next to. I'm wearing women's deodorant.

Just like everything else that's female, it's just there for looks and doesn't really work. Just there for looks. Doesn't work. Deodorant. what was that last punchline i said it doesn't what it's just there for looks and it doesn't really work oh okay you're saying that women don't work like that's such a weird thing to say uh is it weird you know that thing that where women don't work and i've never heard that before. Huh, that's weird. That's interesting.

But always end with the sexist thing. Yeah, I know. That was kind of a... I rehearsed it last night, and I thought after the NASCAR thing it would be 60 seconds, but I guess I spoke too quick. No, I mean, it was all bad. Yeah.

Let's talk about it. So, Walter? Yeah, after hearing your first joke About the dildo in your butt I would like to rename you A European name Wrestles with sexuality Wait that would be

That's clearly a Native American type of name Very clearly Like dances with wolves Yeah Eating With funyuns. Okay. So you thought you were straight, then you realized you had a pink dildo in your butt.

Now you were talking about a finger? No, I had got pegged. You had gotten pegged. So that means that a woman put on a strap-on and had sex with you in your butthole. Absolutely. So how did you, you didn't, wow, okay. So you realized this as it was happening? Well, it all started off with just like a finger, which I was like, oh, you know, that's not gay.

When you say it started off with a finger, like are you guys standing in the kitchen? And like, I mean, you just say that out of nowhere. We were at the dollar store online. It happened over a period of like a month or so. It just started with a finger, and then we progressed. It slowly started an entire month. She kind of ramped up to the finger for a full month. These were different experiences.

It could be gay to have a finger in your ass too Like if it's Jeff's finger It's probably gay you know Yeah if it's Jeff it'd be gay So she put the finger in there and she's like If you think that's uncomfortable Hang out for a second I got out of the closet No I like

I like the finger to start off with And then we Kind of start exploring more and more Actually it was a toad. When you say exploring. A toad? It was a toad. A toad, okay.

Yeah. Toad would have been a better story. She put a toad in your butt? Yeah, we were. Whose toe? Huh? Whose toe was it? Her own toe.

Was it the big toe? It was. Wow. Yeah. Let's check in with Walter. Yeah. I have learned from my forefathers before me how to read

minds and I'm reading the mind of this audience right now and they're saying you're disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. How do you end up with a toe in your butt? give us the lay of the land there like again oh you're laying in bed you're both naked yeah okay so we were at a

hotel and we were both naked we were just we weren't like in the middle of having sex um no you were foreplay yeah kind of and we were facing we were at a hotel. This sounds like the weirdest Holiday Inn Express commercial ever. I had a toe up my ass. But yeah, we were facing each other. Facing each other? Yeah, because we were just sitting there. This story is unbelievable. You mean to tell me she put her foot between your legs? Was she trying to kick you in the balls?

No. Wasn't trying to kick you in the balls and um no wasn't trying to great so okay could we show the audience like like how did this happen so like you guys are sitting like this oh wow dude you just love having stuff in your ass i could tell by the way you're squatting this is incredible oh yeah you're gay dude Ew Oh yeah you're gay You don't have to ever wonder again You're gay So you rode her toe Um kinda yeah

Yeah a little bit He rode her toe reverse cowgirl And that's how he knew he was gay. Actually, regular cowgirl. My goodness. Wow. So then the next time it was like. It was the next time I think it was a finger.

And then we. She went back to the finger. Oh, she started with. She started with the toe. Started with the toe. Now, that's interesting because I do believe that a big toe is thicker than any one finger. So are we talking about one finger or maybe two fingers? Well, a toe is only about this.

She downgraded you. It's weird. Well, a toe, her toe is probably about that long. Her finger. Oh. Further. But a little bit girthier. Have you had stuff in your butt before she started putting stuff up there?

No. No. So she broke the old, she popped the old. She popped my anal cherry. Wow. So she broke the old, she popped the old... She popped my anal cherry. Wow. It's called a walnut. How do you know that, Walter? How do you know this type of sexual stuff? I've been here since

the beginning of time. My goodness. Okay, so you went from a toe to a finger and she went all the way in with that. Was the length – because I don't know what it's like. I know a lot of people would love for me to admit that I know about butt stuff, but it's all very scary to me. It's all very frightening. And so is it harder having something girthy, or is it harder having something longer?

Like what's the more painful? So, like you get to a certain spot. Todd asked if he's getting shy. No, I'm just trying to make sure I get it right. There's a certain length that it goes up to where it's fine, but then you come to this wall. Yeah. And after that, the length really hurts. But initially, like in the first couple inches,

girth is the worst part. First couple inches. Little known fact, Pink Floyd's The Wall is actually about an anal cavity. Hey, wow. That's incredible. How'd you have that there? That was very fast.

Very, very fast. Okay. So then you went beyond the toe. Yeah, we went toe, finger, sex store, strap on. Sex store, strap on. Yeah. Sounds like a good old-fashioned girl. Steal it?

I just had a great joke that you guys missed. I worried that he's going to steal the microphone. Steal it? I just had a great joke that you guys missed. I worried that he's going to steal the microphone. Yeah. Walter has no chill. He had to shove up his ass. Wow. Your bedroom must smell. Yeah.

Well, I mean, okay, after the strap-on, I was done because I was... That was horrible. What happened? Tell us about it. Okay, hold on. What do you mean you were done? You were tired.

He had a jersey rose up with just an asshole and a toe on it. I think he just said, like a gay guy, I am done. I am done. No, I quit doing ass play after that. Yeah, you threw in the brown towel? What? Brown and red, yeah.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh my God. So, yeah, I was... It's the Indiana state flag. The Walter. Okay, so what happened during the pegging that made you retire? Oh, it hurt so bad.

And then I had been with the girl for a while. I mean, it's kind of emasculating a little bit, but I also came during it, so that was even worse. So you came out of your wiener while having stuff in your butt. Yeah, I was doing one of these things. One of these things? Jerking off? Oh, yeah. Is that, I was doing one of these things. One of these things? Jerking off? Jerking off while the... Is that what you meant by one of these things? While you were doing the jerk-offs?

Have you thought about... Mansplaining at its finest. Have you thought about being with a man? No, not really. Yeah, you have. That pause was priceless right there. No, I haven't.

Can I ask what the protocol is for cleaning off a dirty toe like that? You say cleaning it? I think then it was hotel sheets. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. I'm so glad I asked that question. Jeez, Louise.

All right, Jacob. What do you do for a living? Server. You're what? A server. Oh, great. Good to know these are the people handling our food. I thought something funky was with the Hawaiian burger here. Yeah, did it taste

a little bit like a shitty toe to you? All right, Jacob. Well, this was your first time doing stand-up? Well, there we go. Three first-timers so far tonight. He got pegged up here. Jacob Ibe. Let's keep it moving along.

That was one of the most educational portions of Kill Tony I think we've ever had. Toe in the butt, finger in the butt, and then moved all the way up. Just getting fucked by some chick that does not respect him at all. You know what I'd really like is I'd like to fuck you in the ass

with a bunch of stuff. All right. Pull another name out. Let's see what this guy's had up his ass. Make some noise for Joey Squid, everybody. Here we go. Here he comes. Here's Joey, everyone. Fort Wayne!

Fort Wayne! You ever gotten bad advice? Only later on to find out it was pretty good advice. My whole life, my dad gave me, it was more of a catchphrase for anything sexual related. I never really got the sex talk from my dad, so every time I was like, hey dad, what's masturbation? And he would just say, when the little head's red, the big head is dead.

I never really knew what that meant. I always thought it was terrible advice. And then my girlfriend, when I was 19, told me she was pregnant. And I said, when the little head's red, the big head's dead. So now that I'm a dad, I think I'm going to pull that mantra to my kids. I'm going to say, son, when you want to go downstairs, put the snake on a rope and tie it to a chair. rope and tie it to a chair. There you go. Joey Squid.

Welcome to the show. How's it going, Joey? Hey, Tony. How are you? I'm good. You are a beautiful woman with a beard. Let's first acknowledge that. You have hot chick hair. One of the old Hanson boys. So welcome, Joey.

First time doing stand-up? Third time. Third time ever. How did the other two go? First time was actually on this show. It was here in Fort Wayne last year? No, it was in Columbus. Hey, no repeats, man.

Oh, Columbus, Ohio. That's been a while. That's been a long time. Three or four years ago, yep. And then what'd you do in between then and now? There was another time? I went up to an open mic spot and tried it out again. Awesome.

Where do you live? A little town called Kokomo. Kokomo. All right. Where's that at? Just north of Indianapolis. Wow. Is that what the Beach Boys

sang about in the song? That's exactly what they were not singing about. All right, Joey. You have all the personality of the top half of a centaur. It's exciting. Three times in four years,

can I just say that your story is inspiring? Three times in four years, can I just say that your story is inspiring? So, Joey, welcome, welcome. You have a lot of hair. It is incredible. You take good care of that. I do. You have, like, a leave-in conditioner or something like that?

No. No. Okay, Joey. What do you do for work? I work in logistics. Come on. With the other guy. Really?

Are you lying? I'm a truck driver. You're a truck driver? Yes. Huh. Look at that. I would have said hipster barbershop owner or something. Truck driver?

You don't look like a truck driver. Yeah. Like semis? I hide it well. No, UPS. UPS? Wow, look at this. You have some competition, Walter.

Wow, that's really... It was the last comedian that taught us what Brown can do for us, though. It's a butthole joke again. We all got it. Can we get the energy lower in this room, please? Can we get lower energy in the monitors, please? Thank you.

I always love it when the band acknowledges the energy in the room. Very good. It always helps, never hurts, doesn't dampen the episode at all. Very good. I mean, you never hurts, doesn't dampen the episode at all. Very good. Well, we got improvisational magical. Well, we got Joey Squid being more interesting than a manila

envelope up here. Trying to inject something in the room. You're a listener of the show. Obviously you have a bison shirt and you mentioned rope on a snake in your set. But we didn't hear any jokes is that correct that is correct yes that is correct we are uh all in the same room right now um so joey tell us something about you that we'd be surprised to know you're a dad how old's your

kid i got three of them three of them how old How old are they? 13, 9, and 8. 13, 9, and 8. They all live in Kokomo, and you work for UPS. And how about the baby mama? What's she up to? She's out here tonight. Wow. There she is somewhere. You have a babysitter at home, or is the 13-year-old in charge

right now? I hope you didn't get a babysitter just to do this. We did get a babysitter. You did? Her mother is watching. Oh, her mom's watching. Do you ever hold it over your wife that it took her nine months to deliver and you can deliver within a couple days? It's true.

Have you ever delivered a package to John Mellencamp? No. That's all I know about Indiana. Ooh, sore subject. Have you delivered anywhere cool before where you're like, ooh, this is exciting? It's the Nestle factory or the racetrack or the family video. New deliveries. Nope.

Never delivered anywhere fun. How about hobbies? Anything interesting that you're into? Anything fun about you at all? I got a pretty good high kick. Really? You have a good high kick? Well, I mean, you know, when in Rome, this is it.

You know that music. Let's see that high kick. Don't kick your shoe off. Is your shoe on tight? There you go. Here he goes. To the sweet sounds of the Kokomo. Whoa! That is a good high

kick. Walter, what do you think? Can you compete with that? I mean, my back has been thrown out for 10 years. Oh. But I could maybe oblige. Oh, wow. There you go. There he goes. A high kick is a running thing on this

show. I won't be doing this, by the way. No, you don't have to do it, Todd. It's only Jeremiah does it. But this character seems a little bit tight. He's clearly some age, some back problems. He hasn't been around since the beginning of time. I think he's

stretching out. Either that or those are his kicks. This is going to be real interesting here. Here he goes. Whoa! Wow! Walter Figg. Oh, my goodness gracious.

That might be real, Tony. Wow. That is so exciting. What a great high kick. Incredible, Walter. I need medical assistance. My goodness gracious. Well, Joey, You have a good look

For comedy You have a Very Your personality reminds me of this Bottle of water I'd say he doesn't have the comedy for comedy You have the look but you don't have the comedy for comedy. I love that line.

That's incredible. I'm batting like 1,000 up here. Yeah, no, you're killing it. Joey, I will give you this compliment. You have one of the best camel toes in all of comedy. You have a male camel toe. He's rocking his bathing suit here today. Not many people wear their bathing suit on stage, but you know what?

You went off the deep end today. Some weird swimming pool reference. Insert your own if you're a real fan of the show there. I could say that he drowned on stage. All right. Well, Joey, there you go. The hair, what are we thinking? You're going to keep it like that forever?

I'm going to donate it. You're going to donate it? Heck yeah. Wow, look, that got an applause. Everybody here in Fort Wayne, cancer is a big deal. Everybody has it. It's just McDonald's and fucking direct sunlight out here.

Is the donation center open today? Hint, hint. We see Todd walking out with a full head of hair. Alright, one more time for Joey Squid, everybody. There he goes. We're gonna keep it moving.

I'm gonna keep flying through it here. I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend. Put your

hands together for your next comedian, Jimmy Market. Jimmy Market. Here he comes. Wow. Here he is, Jimmy Market, everyone. Fort Wayne, make some noise. How are you guys doing tonight? Yeah.

You guys, I've been doing some soul searching. More importantly, if I was a dog, what kind of breed I'd be? And I think I finally settled on golden retriever, you guys. Because I'm cute, I'm friendly, and I look like I belong to a white family. All right. You guys, a little bit more about myself. I just found out that my blood type is O negative, which means I could give my blood to almost anyone in the world. But I've come to find out that not a lot of people appreciate that as a Christmas present.

And look, guys, let's get this out of the way. Yes, I know I look like Papa Roach's number one fan. I get it, I know. But the truth is, I don't like Papa Roach. In my opinion, Papa Roach is the kind of music you listen to when you finally work up the courage to fight your stepdad. You know what I'm saying? You know, like, you'll be in the back listening to Last Resort, and you're like, you're going to fucking get these hands, Terry.

All right, thank you. Heck yeah. All right. Jimmy you. Heck yeah. All right. Jimmy Market. Jimmy. Coming in with jokes, firing them off. Yeah. I'd say...

Oh, I'm sorry. There you go, Walter. Jimmy was the best comic on the show so far. Yeah, I agree. Thank you. But also... Also not good. Thank you, Todd. Sure, man. Appreciate it, also not good. Thank you, Todd.

Sure, man. Appreciate it. It is true. Is this your first time doing stand-up? No, I've actually been doing stand-up for almost three years now. Three years. Heck, yeah. Where at?

Who's dad's basement have you been performing in? Actually, I have had comedy shows in my dad's house, so close. Is that true? Yes, it is. You live with your dad? No, I actually live with my mom. Curveball. I have comedy shows at my dad's house every now and then,

and my friend's house. I run a Humphrey House comedy show. So you're like, I want to live with you, Mom, but Dad, I'm going to use your house as a venue. Yeah, pretty much, yes. My goodness. You've been doing it for three years. Yeah.

And where do you live? I live in a small town called Sydney, Ohio. Sydney, Ohio. Yes. It's about 40 minutes north of the Zayton area, Zayton, Ohio. Sydney, Ohio. Yes. It's about 40 minutes north of the Zayton area, Zayton, Ohio. Jeez, man. Wow. What do you do for a living?

I deliver pizzas. Seriously? Yeah, seriously. Wow. Yeah. For a major chain? Yeah, for the most part. Oh, you doubt?

You moonlight? You cheat on dominoes? Yeah, something like that, yeah. Denatis. I don't know. Denatis. This guy works for the CIA, but he's a pizza delivery guy. Wow.

So how long have you been delivering pizzas for? Roughly about a year, but I'm trying to I'm trying to find something, you know, a little bit more steady. Like what? What are you looking for? I hope comedy's not on that list. Unfortunately, it is, Todd. That means a lot coming from you. I'm not exactly sure.

Something where I can, you know, work during the day and then hit open mics at night. Like what's something that you're thinking about? Like what's a ballpark of something? Did you go to college? For a semester. Then I just realized, you know, it just wasn't for me, you know? Right. Yeah.

Pizza delivery was for you. So what are you thinking you might do as a day job? What's something that you're qualified for that you know something about? I mean, I've worked pretty much in almost anything. I mean, I've answered phones for a while. I've worked in factories, food service, communication. You know, I mean, I've done a lot of everything. How old are you? 23. Everybody's been 23 so far. It's incredible. Even the guy with a 13-year-old was 23 years old. It's incredible. Wow.

So you're 23. You live in Sydney, Ohio. What are we talking about for fun? What's a hobby of yours? You seem like you shoot a bow and arrow at empty pizza boxes or something like that. No, I watch a lot of wrestling. I play video games. I can't believe any of those. Yeah, you look like you watch wrestling while playing video games. I can't believe any of those.

Yeah, you look like you watch wrestling while playing video games. How do you afford the tattoos on the pizza delivery guy's salary? Oh, because I used to work at factories before I delivered pizza. So I had factory money, you know, to pay for the tattoos. I got an idea for you. For the day job? Sure. Go to a factory. What factory did you work at before?

So my father, he worked at this factory in my hometown for 38 years. Was it a chocolate factory? No. No, he made miniature refrigerators for RVs. And I worked there for... For RVs? Yeah, for recreational vehicles, not actual RVs. What is the deal with RVs going on around

here in Indiana? So you made refrigerators for RVs. Yes. A special refrigerator for an RV. Yeah, it's like a nature like refrigerator. Like a dorm refrigerator. Yeah. Walter? I didn't know that was a separate that's a weird. Yeah, I'm going to pitch

an idea right now. I found that you don't look like a Papa Roach fan at all. So I think that maybe each of us should tell him what he looks like, and then maybe he can use that instead of the Papa Roach thing. Okay, yeah. Yeah, why not? Let's do it. I like that thing. Okay, yeah. Yeah, why not? Let's do it. I like that idea. Okay, let's talk about it. I think he looks like if Ed Hardy locked himself into a Krispy Kreme

for the rest of his life. Something like that. That's a good one. I've also been told once I look like Clark Kent if he never discovered he was Superman and got really fat. Yeah, you're like Clark Kent if he couldn't fit in the phone booth to turn into Superman. How about that?

Or you're like Clark Kent if he only shot red stuff out of his eyes when he sees a Dairy Queen. Hey, look. Hey, hey. It's a pig. It's a truck. No. It's Jimmy Market. How about that? As far as Superman things. Why the deer tattoo?

Are you a hunter? Are you just like Rudolph? What is that? Actually, it's an original design from Sailor Jerry, the tattoo artist from 1950s. I just really like his artwork. So it's an original thing from the 50s that you

stole. Yeah. And they're still calling it original. I love that. I got this done in the 50s. Walter, did you have anything that you felt like Jimmy Market looked like before Red Band forgot what we were doing? I pitched a segment and then it went to shit

real quick. Hey, let me just cut it off. What about that upside down deer tattoo that no one can see except for me and you? That is an ugly tattoo. Then you basically went and got a bunch of... And you have it on both sides?

No, actually this one's a mermaid Oh, wow, look at that Interesting mermaid placement Yeah I like the fake laugh also My goodness Walter, I mean, you're not Walter You're Jimmy, right?

Yeah Wow So anything else that we should know about you, Jimmy, before You're Jimmy, right? Yeah. Jimmy. Wow. So anything else that we should know about you, Jimmy, before we keep flying through it? Yeah, why not? I actually... This guy's making the most of his moment.

So I've actually had a stutter pretty much all of my life, and then I don't have it as much, but when I first started doing stand-up comedy, it was really bad. Yeah. How'd you get rid of it? I really do not know.

Maybe it's just because I kept going on stage and I felt more uncomfortable on stage. It just went away. Sometimes I'll stutter when I get nervous, but it hasn't really been happening as much. So I think things have been going pretty good so far. All right. That's good. I like that. Look at that.

There he goes. We'll give you that one. right. That's good. I like that. Look at that. There he goes. We'll give you that one. Yeah. From the stutter to the butter. How about one more time? I just feel bad that I'm not famous enough to trigger that stutter. Honestly, I...

You never heard of me. Okay, I got you. No, no, no, I have, actually. No. Does it ever come back? Yeah. Like if you see a ghost or something like that? I mean, that's kind of hacky, but yeah.

I mean, yeah, it comes, you know. All right, Jimmy. Well, for what it's been so far tonight, you've had the set of the night so far. Three years of experience. Jimmy Marcus. It's very nice to meet you guys. Thank you.

Heck yeah. Thank you. Heck yeah. Okay. Your next comedian goes by the name of Zach Garner, everybody. Zach Garner. Hey, Zach. Here he comes. He's walking to the stage. Zach Garner.

What's up, Tiger Room? I'm 31. I'm single. I'm at the point in my life where I'm not going through the natural progression, but I'm watching other people my age do it. You know, you graduate high school, graduate college, you meet a girl or a guy, you get married, you have one and a half kids or whatever the national average is. And then you buy a $60,000 truck, at least where I'm from, small town Indiana. And you back it

into every parking spot you can find. You say things like, hey, you see them tires? Those are stock. And yeah, I really love the new front end on this model. And my new favorite, the tailgate folds down into stairs. Why the fuck do you need stairs on your tailgate, right? Like I said, though, I'm not a natural progression guy. Obviously, I'm here at 2.30 on a Saturday telling jokes on Kill Tony. So not a natural progression guy. I'm at the point where I drink gravy out of the corner of my meals at the end of them. I fold the cardboard and just tip it back. I'm not at rock bottom yet, but I'm close.

I'll give you an example. If I was a girl, I'd be at the bar on the weekends trying to get pregnant. Because nothing says rock bottom like a bar baby, am I right? Thank you. That's my time. Wow, there you go. Zach Garner. There you go.

Welcome to the show, Zach. This is your first time on? No, I've been doing it for about four years. Four years, huh? Oh. But your first time here on? Oh, yeah, First time here. Sorry.

Very cool. How often do you do it? I try to do it at least a few times a month, but I work a lot, so I live far enough away from the city. I build furniture and art for a living, woodworking. You build art? Yeah, art and furniture, tables and wall hangings and things like that. Okay.

Wow. I've never heard the term build art before. I make art, build furniture. I guess it's what I do. My goodness. Hell yeah. That's great what I just said. You build furniture. So what can you make?

Pretty much anything, man. I've done everything from cabinets to tables to at Temple University, I've got stuff hanging on the wall in the football building that's metal stuff. So you could build kitchen cabinets and clearly you can also destroy kitchen cabinets. Yeah. The things inside them and the actual cabinets. Can you put up

shelves? I can put up shelves, yeah. Here's what's going to happen. In exchange for one comedy lesson. For you? Yes, from me. Okay. Yeah.

No, he's going to give you a different comedian. I get there and I'm like, wait a second, where's Todd? No, it's me. You have to fly to New York at your own expense. Okay. And put some shelves in my apartment. All right, great. Sounds good.

And you have to pay for the materials. All right, good. And you get one 20-minute. That's it. And if I have any water lying around, I'll give you get one 20 minute. That's it. And if I have any water lying around, I'll give you a glass of that. Sounds like a good deal. I like your

moccasins. Thank you. I wear these pretty much every day. Anybody that knows me, this is kind of my go-to shoe. Let's turn the lights on for those moccasins. See my moccasins? I'm worried that people can't for those moccasins. See my moccasins? I'm worried that people can't see those moccasins. So, Zach, you're a big tough guy.

You play sports? A long time ago. You're a football player? Offensive lineman? How many moons ago? Many moons ago. He looks like Jeff Tate. Yeah.

Yes, he does. I don't know who that is. Yeah. He's a comedian.ate. Yeah. Yes, he does. I don't know who that is. He's a comedian. Okay. I'll look him up. Definitely. Handful of people are like, yeah, you nailed that one, Todd. So, Zach, tell us more about you.

What else? I just got back from directing a youth camp in Wisconsin for two and a half weeks. Creepy. Yeah. What does that mean exactly? So I used to be a counselor which is normal camp counselor stuff and now I'm just in charge of the counselors which means I have

less interaction with the children and more paperwork basically. Wow, that's exactly what Jerry Sandusky's situation is. That sounded like a court order situation. More paperwork, less interacting with children. I actually telecommute. I don't show up on site. I just all over the place.

He's still doing jokes. Sorry, I can't help myself. You directed a youth camp. Who did you award best boy grip? Best what? It's a movie term. Never mind. I'm sorry. Even I didn't get that. I've been in movies.

You have to wait for the credits. Okie. I'm sorry. Even I didn't get that and I've been in movies. You have to wait for the credits. Okie dokie, Walter. I don't know what's going on here. So, Zach, you're in a relationship? I am not. No? How long have you been single for?

A while. Probably four or five years. Yeah? When's the last time you were romantic with a woman? Maybe a month ago. Yeah? What was that? That was off a dating app or something like that? Nope.

Somebody I know locally. Friend type. Just a person I know. Oh. You pegged a guy? No. No. He came over for free.

It was no big deal. Ah. I like your style. Hell yeah. You built him a little bed. Bed? Yeah, we bartered. like your style. Hell yeah. You built him a little bed. Yeah, we bartered. We bartered. Heck yeah.

My goodness. So interesting stuff, man. You ever make furniture for someone in trade of something other than a comedy lesson? Yeah. Yeah. I got tickets to Dave Matthews Bandews band box tickets and i built somebody a table just this last year wow you built a table and you got to see dave matthews band how cool is that it was a partial trade i made money as well but uh oh you said i'll take part

of the money in dave matthews box seats is that what you said yeah like towards the front right behind the pit nice little uh boxed off you got a waitress and all that gets here has box seats tonight for this like what would be the box seat section of uh of this show um probably like right here based on the setup it'd probably be like six or eight boxes right here in the how was the dave matthew show it was good i enjoy it yeah was it um long uh yeah it's usually like an hour and a half for his portion that's it yeah but there's other must have been in a bad mood that he just seems like a guy who'd play for five hours no there's a there's no noise ordinance at the place he plays near my town so he's got to be done by like 10 30 or oh man he must have been relieved excuse me sir yeah you can't play crash

after 10 p.m yeah was there ever anything happen when you were counseling the kids at camps that was interesting? You ever walk in on them doing anything creepy or anything like that? Oh, man. All kinds of fun stuff. I'll tell you one from this year. Yeah. I walked out of the cabin to go shower and stuff. The kids were laid down ready to go to bed, and they weren't asleep yet.

It's the oldest boys. They're like 13 to 15. They're messing around and talking. Yeah, or as you call them, the to go to bed. And they weren't asleep yet. It's the oldest boys. They're like 13 to 15. They're messing around. Yeah, or as you call them, the good ones. Yeah. The clean good ones. The fast learners. Yes, yes.

They started drumming on their bellies, making music all in sync. Then one of the guys was like, all right, all right, that's enough. We've got to go to bed. And the other guy chirps in and he goes, know we should call ourselves the fappening and they all started laughing and they start pounding and humping the bunks and doing this this noise right and i let it get quiet again and i said uh yeah you guys should go on tour and none of them knew i was standing outside the cabin and they all silence complete silence didn't say a word the rest of the night wow which is kind of they're like oh my god there's a bear outside of the cabin right now. Yeah.

Wow. That's nice. That's a nice joke. Well, Zach, where do you live again? Pendleton, Indiana, between here and Indianapolis. Is there anybody here from Fort Wayne, Indiana? If you live in... Wow. Wow. There's like

six people here from this city that we're in. This is incredible. This is what happens when you do a festival in Fort Wayne. You get people from all the hillbilly bumpkin cities to just, it's like what they did in Charlottesville. It's like a call to arms of all the suburban locals that know about that thing. Okie dokie. So, Zach Garner,

congratulations. You were fun. Thank you. Heck yeah. There he goes. Have a great night. Heck yeah. Alright. Keep going. We're almost getting there. Something's about to happen here. I can feel it.

Oh, shit. Okay, this looks like an interesting name. Put your hands together for Taylor Futter Connect. Wow. Taylor Futter Connect. Taylor. Here he is. Taylor Futterconnect.

Holy shit, that was my younger brother that went first. Let's give it up for him. He did horrible. He told me before the show, he said, hey, I got a little bit prepared, but I'm just going to wing it like I did college and the rest of my life. Get right back into it.

I can't make my girlfriend come. That's pretty appropriate. It's kind of like going gambling with her at the casino, except she never wins. We both still smell like the casino. We almost had fun, but there's just no orgasm there at the end. And orgasms aren't necessarily

your significant other's responsibility. I understand that. It's more about getting to know yourself, knowing what turns you on, gets you off. But that doesn't make her come at the end of the day. And that's been problematic, at least for my fuck confidence. So she still tells me she loves me, though. I guess

from that aspect, I can't blame her or discredit her. That's all I got. Thank you. There you go. Taylor, butter connect. I definitely... Okay, Walter. My God.

Well, I definitely, I wasn't sure if you were really his brother, but then I saw that you have similar unprepared performing styles. Now I'm absolutely sure you're brothers. I did write some stuff out, and it's much better if I could remember it. I even tried it on the way down here a couple times. You tried it on the way here? Is he really your brother, that guy? No, he really is my youngest brother.

When you say you tried it on the way here, that means what? In the pickup truck that you guys came in? We drove separate, but I do have a pickup truck. So you were by yourself in your pickup truck rehearsing, going over the jokes that you had prepared? Reading what's actually on my lock screen on my phone, yes.

And what you did tonight wasn't what's on the lock screen on your phone? Or it sort of is, but you couldn't quite remember the punchlines? That'd be accurate, yeah. Is there something you want to look at your phone? You want to reference perhaps something that you missed? A couple things I acknowledged. You said casino so many times that I noticed this European mailman getting very excited for some reason. A lot of my family owns casinos.

Well, that's a Native American thing. That's a very European thing. I don't. I've never heard of a European casino. You've never been to a European casino? No. Have you been to Las Vegas? Yes. Well, there you go.

We own all of the strip. Wait. My people own all of the strip. Europeans. Yes. Okay. Are those Donald Trump Europeans? Is that one of the things from your lock screen?

No, it's not. Would I be able to read his lock screen and see what we can do? Yeah, you read his lock screen. You guys should go on tour as the Bomb Brothers. It literally says I seven times. I can't make my girlfriend come. All right, let's try this one. Here we go.

Now orgasms during sex aren't always your significant other's responsibility. I think most of that is knowing yourself and what turns you on and gets you off. But I still can't make her come. That's the, yeah. All right. Let's see. I like that he said at the end of the day, I can't make her come. I was like, wow.

It's taking all day. You're right. I don that he said, at the end of the day, I can't make her come. It's like, wow, it's taking all day. You're right. I don't know. She tells me she loves me. Dot, dot, dot. Oh, there you go. Okay, so let me ask you this. Taylor, have you ever asked her if she's come before?

Actually, the issue she has is she had an injury in soccer and had surgery, and she thinks it fucked with her, the neurological. No, no, it didn't. That's impossible. That's simply impossible. That's very nice of her to say. So anytime you want to use that as an excuse, just know that she's lying to you. That's fair.

Let's check in with Walter. I'm going to change his European name to Dick Don't Work. Oh, well, again, that's Native American as fuck. What's the injury, though? She dislocated her hip to the point where she had to go in and get surgery done. Yeah, did they go in? Did they make the incision through her vagina? They did not.

Yeah. No, I know. You can't give her an orgasm. Could she come before the surgery? She actually struggles doing it on her own Right So she can make herself come So it's definitely not from the soccer injury

Right? She can but it's not all the time Does she know you're talking about this in public? No, absolutely not When she finally does come Does she know you're talking about this in public? No, absolutely not. When she finally does come, does she go, Goal! It's a soccer reference.

What do you do for a living? I actually work in sales in the RV industry. In the RV industry? Get the fuck out of here. I got a better one for you. The RV industry clearly is big in Indiana because everybody's trying to get out of Indiana, and then they end up having to come back because of a sick relative. And then so you just end up going back and forth.

So it's like, God damn it. I wish I had a house that was just slightly bigger than the one I live in and that I could move around. I'm going to get a goddamn RV. Can I ask the golden retriever guy a question? You're going to, you're about to ask an audience member, an RV question. Sure.

Absolutely. That's what stuck with you from his entire set was the golden retriever bit. All right. I guess it's working. Keep doing it. Was, was that company that your dad worked for for 38 years Norcold? Yes.

Whoa, that's crazy. You recognize his father by seeing him? You recognize the one company that does what that company does? Those are like 800 companies that make RV refrigerators? Also, that's a question you could have just walked up and asked him. That's not for the stage It's very sacred up here He wanted some kind of response From the audience

I have the answer that I'm definitely gonna Get this question Yes, audience wowed I have the answer that I'm definitely going to get this question. Yes. Yes. Audience wowed. So sell me an RV. Try to pitch me. Sell me an RV right now, and let's see how good you are at selling an RV. Tony, what will –

Because honestly, I would love an RV. I think if I got an RV, you know, we tour a lot. We tour with a big group of people and if we had an rv potentially i could use that right as basically a fancy tour bus well i don't know that you'd want a big rv you guys travel around from city to city wouldn't you want somebody that drives around in i don't know a class c maybe we don't know the class version like a mercedes where you guys could watch tape, write notes. Watch tape?

Write jokes. That's a reference from... Yeah. Will you be our driver? Yeah. Wow, cool. Can you make your girlfriend come? Oh, there you go. There you go.

I can't make her come, But I can ask her to come No, but you came to the right place Wow Is your girlfriend here tonight? She's not What if she slowly slinked her hand in the back You couldn't even make her come here That's incredible

That's mind boggling There's a lot of double entendres here tonight. Wow. So have you tried – let me ask you this. How long have you been with your girlfriend? Eight months. Eight months. And you perform oral sex on her?

As often as she'll let me. As often as she'll let you. As often as she'll let you? She doesn't seem like fun at all. What kind of woman complains about getting her pussy eaten? It sounds like you've tried everything. Have you tried letting me make her cum? Ah, there you go.

Walter. Walter. My wife's been dead for 30 years. I need this. Walter, do you have any special things that you do in the bedroom, like hang a dream catcher over yourself or anything like that? Well, no, I just play this game of peekaboo with my tongue that's called in and out of the mail slot.

What? Oh, my God. Good Lord. Yeah yeah they squirt every time oh my god that is unbelievable and then when the flag goes up again that means I can go back down there Wow well Taylor you got on stage tonight you and your brother can both have a

really bust each other's balls about what happened here. I love that you came out and dissed him right away. I like that you both, just for your own relationship with your brother, you both did equally poorly. Yeah.

Be sure to tell your parents how disappointed they should be in both of you. Good news, folks. Neither of us are going to be comedians. Be sure to tell your parents how disappointed they should be in both of you. Equally. Good news, folks. Neither of us are going to be comedians. But, Taylor, you take the jokes well. Yeah, you took them pretty well.

You have a good sense of humor. And, you know, you're a good-looking guy. You're selling RVs. I mean, you look like probably the most successful person on this stage so far tonight. It didn't go successfully, but you look like it did. I can't succeed in the bedroom either currently. Wow.

Let's not end on a sad note. You just won't let it die. Even with us, the finish isn't happening. It's just like we just can't bring this thing to a climax with you. Something's wrong with this package.

We all have a soccer injury though, so don't worry about it. Hell yeah. There he goes. Taylor Futter Connect. What do you guys think? Go to the bucket one more time. Alright. Let's see what happens here. Okay.

Let's try this. Put your hands together for Brian Porcel, everyone. Brian Porcel. Here we everyone. Brian Porcel. Here we go. Brian Porcel. Here he is. Live in the flesh, Brian Porcel. One more time for Brian, everybody.

He's your final comedian of the night. The day. I thought Antifa was a new show on BET. Tonight at 8 o'clock, Antifa. Back up, motherfucker. I've been called retarded. It's just because I drew a lot and like to lick windows. Obesity, heart disease, and diabetes runs in my family. Probably because no one runs in my family. Probably because no one runs in my family.

I think pedophiles would be good doormen because what would be a better bouncer than someone that can spot an underage drinker? I noticed a black man going door to door stealing people's mail.

So I took matters into my own hands. That postman outfit wasn't fooling anyone. Hold on. Wait, what? Okay. I didn't understand your racist joke. Continue. Yeah.

No, go ahead. So sort of like, do it again hold on wait not you walter uh so i saw a black man yeah stealing mail door to door uh-huh so i took matters into my own hand uh-huh the postman outfit was not fooling anyone so i i explained to the cops they laughed but i had to do community service so now I follow that postman around and make sure he doesn't steal anyone's mail. Oh, my God. I just tried so hard to figure out what the fuck...

It was actually a better joke when you just did the first half. And it was a terrible joke. Brian, I like your style, man. Even though things didn't go that well, I like the courage that you have behind your jokes. I thought the Antifa thing was so stupid that it was great. I think it was, like, brilliantly dumb. I saw Walter laugh at that one, too.

I've been called retarded. You have been. What was great was the placement of that joke right after that one. The Antifa joke and then he goes some people have called me retarded. I'm like that's what

I was just thinking. Is that true? Is it true that you drool? Yeah. It's like I was going to apologize because it might be like a gallagher set because i what i accidentally like spit on people as i talk oh i see wow i apologize if i get anywhere oh it's okay you're okay brian everything's good thank you uh brian you're a big guy representing the pink floyd you have a fanny pack on. I do. Is there anything in your fanny pack?

There might be. Well, there's only one thing to do, and that's to play a round of What's in that fanny pack? Yeah. As an avid fan of the show, I kind of became prepared even though I didn't know I was going to get on stage.

Of course, yes. No one ever knows that they're going to get on stage. He just has a gun and he shoots all of us. He's taken the fanny pack off completely. Wow. This is very interesting. He's taken the fanny pack off. He's putting on a blonde wig.

He's taking something out of plastic and putting it on his stomach. It says baby on board. And what is this? I would like to do an Amy Schumer impersonation for you. Oh, my God. Wow, that's incredible. I'd love to see this Amy Schumer impression. I am laying down the gauntlet.

I'm trying to, I know this is unorthodox, but I'm trying to get a golden ticket from Willy Wonka. Oh, my God. Brian, it's official. You're retarded. This is incredible. However, I will say this. You do look exactly like Amy Schumer.

It's quite known. It's quite incredible. I appreciate that. I'd like to pitch a couple screenplays to you if I could. Yes. As you know. Is this you, Amy Schumer? Yes. Okay, Amy. Go ahead. I guess I could get into. As you know... Is this you, Amy Schumer? Yes, okay, Amy.

I guess I could get into Amy Schumer's voice. I'm sorry. Well, Tony... Okay. I'd like to pitch a couple screenplays to you right now. Welcome to another episode of Burning Bridges here on Kill Tony. I know someone

that will never be an executive producer of this show. No, I'm just kidding. She never would have been anyway. The first screenplay is about my 50-year-old struggle with my weight. Okay, okay. It's totally original. I'm going to call it The Life of Pi. Totally original.

You know me, Amy Schumer. Hey, can you tell the Antifa joke again and get the hell off stage? Also, I have another one. It's where I confess that I have stolen people's jokes before. Yeah. Oh.

Well, she didn't write them herself. It was Louis C.K. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I didn't stay them herself. It was Louis C.K., so. Okay, okay, this is getting. I'm sorry, I didn't stay in character very long, did I? Anyhow, I finally confess that I've stolen jokes from other comedians to a couple older men, and I'm going to call that screenplay Secondhand Lines. Wow, Brian, it's, was there anything else in your fanny pack? There should have been a cigar, but Amazon did not ship it to me. It said, your package may be lost.

That's why you should always trust U.S. Mail. Yeah, yeah. Well, Brian, very, very interesting. I love your risk-taking. I mean, you definitely went for it up here. Look at you, Brian. You guys enforced the one-minute rule. You go one minute, and then you can do a seven-minute encore in character.

Seven-minute battle. I had a three-pronged attack. I had a song that I had written. Oh, you're not done yet? No, it's okay. I think I'm going to be done. I have to do a show in Indianapolis tonight. Okay, I had written. Oh, you're not done yet? No, it's okay. I think I'm going to be done. I have to do a show in Indianapolis tonight. Okay, I'm sorry. Brian, we're going to

we're going to we're going to let you go. Brian Purcell, everybody. We love him. Brian Purcell. You guys think we should get one woman up here to close the show? We haven't had a lady all night. I'm not going to count Amy Schumer as

a female comedian. So let's knock out one close the show. We haven't had a lady all night. I'm not going to count Amy Schumer as a female comedian. Let's knock out one more. Let's see if there is a single woman that signed up. Wow. Maybe we didn't even have a woman. Wow. That's crazy.

Everyone is going to say it looks like they're all from one bowling team. For the podcast listeners, a male in the back goes, I got titties. Wow. The few, the proud. This might be a first. We haven't had a female sign up. The people who signed up for Kill Tony in Fort Wayne.

Oh, my God. Is there a female in this room that signed up? No. If you ask like that, somebody's going to tell his girlfriend to try it, and it's going to go horrible. So I'm stopping that right up? No, if you ask like that, somebody's going to tell his girlfriend to try it, and it's going to go horrible. So I'm stopping that right there. No, a woman didn't sign up.

Well... Pick out a girly name. Did a person of color perhaps sign up for the show? This looks like an interesting... I mean, Native American, who says that? A person of color. What? This looks like an interesting I mean Native American Who says that a person of color This looks like an interesting name

Let's try it no matter what happens The show ends with this Make some noise for Trevor from One Conda Trevor from One Conda Here he comes This is one wacky episode of Kill Tony Here he is Give it up for Worth This is one wacky episode of Kill Tony. Here he is. Here's Trevor.

Give it up for Worth! I can't believe I'm on Kill Tony. I feel like Redman when he met Tokyo Cunt Punch. Here. No, here. Use that one. Here. My bad. Sorry. No, here, use that one. I think the mic went out in anticipation of what's about to happen. The mic just killed itself.

My bad. So, as he said, I'm from Wakanda. Wakanda, Illinois. And if you don't know where that is, that's cool, because no one does. Anyways, that fucking sucked. Sorry. Where are my dog people at? Yeah, come on, dog people.

You know why I love dogs? I love dogs a lot more than I do humans. Because they're softer, they always stay by your side, and they can't report sexual assault. Oh my God. Wow. This has been an episode filled with bad jokes, bad tattoos, and really just everything was pretty... That was... I mean, look at you. That is the most on-the-nose outfit.

Budweiser wife beater with camouflage pants. Budweiser wife beater, camo pants. You're basically a version of everyone that got pulled out of the bucket tonight all at once. Just a big blob of pure white trash. It's like if Fort Wayne threw up a person. Yeah. This is incredible. I'm glad that you made it here you made the long the long drive from pontiac street to be here tonight that's a local reference are you from the 06 are you one of the garbage people are you one of the

bad garbage people here in town you guys heard you guys have bad garbage people. Is that true? Are you working on the roundabout? Okay. What do you do for work? I work at a welding factory. A what? A welding factory.

Welding. Heck yeah. What are you guys welding? RVs? No, no, no. I'm not from Indiana. Oh, Wisconsin. No, Illinois. no. I'm not from Indiana. Oh, Wisconsin. No, Illinois.

Illinois. Chicagoland. Just outside of Chicago? That's interesting. Okay. What's your family? What are your parents like? My parents are, you know, really...

My parents are about to turn 70. Oh, my God, really? So they had you late in life. Are they twins? No, no, I'm not from Indiana. Wow, Todd Berry elegantly just called you an incest baby. Wow. Man, that's so interesting.

Tell us something interesting about you Trevor? What is it? Trevor from Wakanda? Yes Something interesting about me? Yeah, anything you've ever accomplished Maybe you have a trophy of some kind Some type of hot dog eating Or jalapeno popper eating competition

That you once won Why do you assume I eat jalapeno popper eating competition that you once won. Why do you assume I eat jalapeno poppers? Wow, you're actually offended by that? That's the offensive joke. Something interesting about me? I don't know. I like to shoot guns.

Oh, I'm in the military. You were in the military? Oh, yeah? What branch? U.S. Army Reserve. Oh, my goodness. Wow, I'm in the military. You were in the military? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah? What branch? U.S. Army Reserve. Oh, my goodness. Wow. That's very interesting.

Would you ever go anywhere or overseas or anything? Kuwait and Iraq in 2016. Wow. You're a goddamn American hero, sir. Now it all makes sense. Heck, yeah. Wow. Can we still insult you now that you've told us that? Or is it going to seem disrespectful?

Wow. This is the whitest episode of this show we've ever had. Have you done stand-up before today? Yeah, this is my 24th time. Really? Let's count it as just 23. You got it. Fucking slam that, dude, man.

Okay, I'm going to send you off. Trevor from One Con to everybody. There he goes. There he goes. Sorry. Okay. Now, I know I said that was it, but this is truly it. We're going to watch 60 seconds from a guy.

One of my good friends back there, Trey, has been pointing at this innocent black man in the back of the room for the last five minutes. He signed up earlier, right? But he didn't get pulled out of the bucket. So let's just do it. Just that things are a little bit different. Just that we have one person here

that isn't like everybody else all night long that works in RVs and welds RVs or builds RVs or parts of RVs or fucking RV, RV, RV. Put your hands together. 60 seconds from Isaiah Gray. Here we go. And then this is it. This is it. Yo, I'm not really much of a comic.

I used to be a rapper. I used to be in a rap group called NWA We had some good hits Y'all ain't heard of niggas with autism So I guess that's Harder for y'all I don't know, it's hard being a Black autistic dude

I know why I'm autistic though It's cause my mom was a sinner And She got me vaccinated and that bums me out cause like I'm a grown man that's socially awkward when I could have just been a real cool baby

like I would have been a dead baby but still I would have been cool for a little bit like now, like yeah I'm vaccinated I ain't got like polio so I can walk around. But am I going anywhere really? I don't know. I'll just tell you all this joke my dad told me then.

It was real when I was like 11 years old. He told me, I'll just tell it, it was real corny though. I love you son, and i'll be back there he is isaiah gray the best set of the night by far unbelievable that was great isaiah and i'm the crazy old man who asked for a person of color to come up to the stage. Save the day. Heck yeah. You did it.

You absolutely killed it. It's so cool. Obviously, they were able to get Coolio at this festival. That's so exciting. Isaiah, you do stand-up comedy, right? Yeah. That was incredible. How long have you been doing it?

Five years. Five years. Well, fucking awesome, man. Thanks so much for being here and closing out the show. Anything else crazy we need to know about you before we end this episode? Any fun facts about Isaiah Gray we need to know? Nah, man. I'm unemployed and I ain't doing shit in my life.

Unemployed and you're not doing shit with your life. There you go. I got fired from a restaurant for taking too long to take a drug test. Ah, taking too long to do a drug test. Well, anyone who is about to offer you a job is not going to do that. Are you on Twitter or Instagram? Yeah, I don't use them much. I'm trying to help you out, man. I'm on some other shows here tonight.

This comes out a week or two after we leave. Oh, shit. Man. I'm on some other shows here tonight in Let's Fest, I guess. This comes out a week or two after we leave. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. I'm on Isaiah Gray, I-S-I-H-G-R-A-Y on Twitter, and Action Blackson on Instagram. Here, you know what? I'll tell you what, because that's not as climactic as I'd like it to be.

Why don't we end this thing with a bang? We have a second Kill Tony here tonight at 9 or 9.30. How about you come back and you have a guaranteed spot on that show? Cool? There you go. Isaiah Gray, everybody. Ending of the show. Fort Wayne, how loud can this place get for the great Todd Berry, huh?

We love you, Todd. Todd has the Todd Berry podcast. It's available everywhere. Spicy Honey is streaming live on Netflix, and he has amazing, amazing live dates coming up all at ToddBerry.com. Some of them are stand-up shows and some are the crowd work only shows. I think it's all stand-up shows. Oh, all stand-Berry.com Some of them are stand-up shows and some of the crowd work only shows. I think it's all stand-up shows. Oh, all stand-up shows. That's ToddBerry.com

and check out the ToddBerry podcast and of course Spicy Honey on Netflix. Todd, thank you so much. It is such an honor. Thanks for having me. Thank you. How about a hand for the great Jeremiah Watkins, everybody? The self-titled album, Reagan and Watkins,

is available after the show. He's going to be selling them and signing them for you. And so are the Kill Tony pins. And don't forget, I'm doing stand-up in Miami and Key West and the Hollywood Improv. Red Band's doing San Diego. And we're doing Kill Tonys coming up in Dallas, Sacramento, San Francisco, D.C.,

and Australia. So that's that. How many of you are coming to the 9 o'clock show? A lot of you. There you go. Well, we'll see you guys there. Thank you so much for coming out. We love you guys. Good night. See you guys. Great band.

Thank you, man. That was a little fun. I'm sorry it went so long, but this is a part where I'm... Thank you, man. Bye. Thank you.