KILL TONY - KILL TONY #385

Episode Date: August 9, 2019

Eddie Bravo, Sam Tripoli, William Montgomery, David Deery, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 08/05/2019 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Kudo. Conditions apply. Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, DeathSquad.TV. There you have every past episode of Kill Tony, including video portions of the show. And if you click on Tour Dates, you can come see us live. Not only are we at the Comedy Store every Monday, but we are on the road.

October 3rd, we're in Dallas, Texas. October 16th and 17th, we are in Sacramento. October 18th and 19th, we are in Sacramento. October 18th and 19th, we are in San Francisco for Kill Tony Mania. And November 17th, we're in Washington, D.C. We have a bunch of new dates about to be added, so go to DeathSquad.TV

and click on Tour Dates for the latest information. Also, Tony Hinchcliffe has his own website. He's got some dates up there. He's got some merch. Go to Tony Hinchcliffe has his own website. He's got some dates up there. He's got some merch. Go to TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything. Golden Pony. And Ryan J. Ebelt has his own website.

He draws every episode. Ryan J. Ebelt.com. And last but not least, ShopSquad.tv. There you got the official merchandise of the Death Squad universe. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Ray Bant coming to you live from the road famous comedy store main room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hinchclap.

Yeah. store main room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hinchclap! Yeah! Come on, guys. It's Monday. Make some fucking noise. There you go. Red Band's here. Hi. The great Ryan J. Ebeld has already started drawing tonight's episode. This is very, very exciting.

I'm all Nitro Caveman coffeed up. Use the promo code Kill exciting. I'm all NitroCavemanCoffeedup. Use the promo code KILTONI. Save 10% on all your caveman coffee. Life is good. I mean, I am excited. It's a beautiful day here in Los Angeles, California, and no one has more fun on Mondays than us, so congratulations for being here. This is exciting

times. Just got back from another crazy weekend in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and never really ends. It just keeps going on and on. But now we're focused more on stand-up comedy for the next couple months. I'm doing the Miami Improv this weekend, five shows in Miami, and then I'm doing Key West the first weekend of September. Red Band's headlining San Diego, August 17th, and I'm headlining the Hollywood Improv, August 23rd. Then Kill Tony Dallas, October 3rd,

stand-up fourth and fifth. And Kill Tony Mania, the road begins on Sacramento, October 16th and 17th, and then Kill Tony Mania live in San Francisco, October 18th and 19th. That's almost sold out. So if you're flying in from around the world for that special six-show event, get it now.

Australia, the end of October, Flying in from around the world for that special six-show event. Get it now. Australia. The end of October, for the first time ever, Kill Tony does massive theaters in Australia. Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane. That goes on sale in what I believe is now one week and one day. We do our first ever Kill Tony in Washington, D.C. Because who can forget? We are Americans and we love America.

So we're going to Washington DC we're doing stand up there November 8th and 9th as well in Washington DC goes on and on we just keep working we don't stop we've been everywhere this year all around America all over Europe and I'm going to be honest with you we have more money than

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You guys ready to start this show tonight? It's not easy. It's never easy. But I am excited about tonight's show. How many of you were here last week for tonight's show? Wow, look at that. The return of so many people because we had to

delay it for a week. And here we freaking go. We've waited a long time. Oh, wow, look. There's the great Aphrodite walking in. Oh, my goodness. What a stunning treat. Nothing flat about that earth right there. Your

guest tonight, known for their one of my favorite, one of the only podcasts I listen to, the Tinfoil Hat. So interesting, so exciting. I'm sure we're going to hear some great conspiracies and theories here tonight with the great and powerful for the first time ever on this show, make some

noise for Eddie Bravo and Sam Tripoli. Wow. Here we go. Here's Eddie. Hi, Eddie. All right, Sam. This way, Sam. Come on, Sam.

Settle down. Here we go. I'm excited about this. You guys have been taking your podcast on the road live lately You're doing Indie The 9th of August And St. Louis the 10th Both of those are at Helium Comedy Club

Bakersfield the 17th San Francisco at Cobbs on the 13th of September And in Portland December 20th Oh hell yeah Heck yeah You guys know a thing about touring a live podcast Yeah dude I mean like I gotta be honest with you I started with Red Band a long time ago Hell yeah. Heck yeah. You guys know a thing about touring a live podcast? Yeah, dude. I mean, like, I got to be honest with you.

I started with Red Band a long time ago. We started in his literally his, like, bedroom. We were doing podcasting. And now to see where you guys are now, it's fucking amazing. I love both of you guys, and this show is fucking great, right? Wow. I almost teared up there for a second. I know. If you weren't dead on the inside,

there might actually... I've never seen a skeleton smile before, but he did it. Eddie, welcome to the show. Welcome to the main room of the Comedy Store. Thank you for having me. This is very exciting times. You know, a lot of crazy people sign up for this bucket, and I've never

felt safer than sitting next to you right now. I go on the road with this dude. This guy is like one of the few to ever tap a Gracie. This dude crushes on stage. And this is his side fucking thing, man. So it's been really fun to go on the road with Eddie. I mean, dude, the guy has disciples out there. It's like fucking crazy shit.

And it's like, you guys got to see Eddie live. He's a fucking murderer. He's literally one of the most naturally funny dudes I've ever met in my life. And it's an honor to go to war with him all the time. Thank you. And you guys are both on that show at the Improv, August 23rd with me. Oh, shit. We're going to fuck up that nerd

place. The first ever Tony Hinchcliffe and Acquaintances show. Yeah. Everybody has their in friends show. They're like you want to name this show something. I'm like they're like how about Tony Hinchcliffe and friends. I'm like isn't that what every like liar does. Yeah. Really booking their friends.

I said call it Tony Hinchcliffe and Acquaintances. I'm going to book a show with hot black chicks who have cool haircuts. That's my next show. That's the Apollo 13 right there. The ones and the only. Motherfucking from the future right there. Look at that. Those are Kill Tony legends right there.

Usually there's 13 of them and they look like they're going to the showtime of the Apollo, so I call them the Apollo 13. From Mars. Showtime of Apollo from Mars. So we have the guests. We've got Red Band. Everything's in position here.

It just brings me to the band. We have a band on this show. They are the best damn band in the land. One of my favorite things in all of comedy. They fucking cut me down at my core. Absolutely hilarious. Every single episode they commit to being different characters. I never know what they're

going to be or what they're going to do. There's a lot of pyro happening. Stage is filled with smoke. Let's all find out what they are here tonight together. Make some noise for the Kill Tony band. Jeremiah Watkins, Chroma Chris and Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez.

Wow, there's a lot of smoke. Whoever's on the smoke should stop pressing that button. Wow. Holy shit. Oh, my goodness. Wow. This is crazy. It appears to be bad guys or scary movie people or

something, I do believe. I believe that's Slenderman. I think that's a haunted fisherman right there. I think that Gorton's fisherman is here. Okay, guys, let's get to it. I don't know

if you hear the crowd or not, but that's an evil white man. We are good on smoke. Oh my god. Where's your mega hat, dog? This is very scary. You gotta hate Mexicans. This guy wants a wall badly.

Look at that little hole in his mouth. I bet he can't dance. I bet. What are the odds that he can dance? What are the odds? This is frightening. I've never seen someone's nose squozing in so tight before in anything in my life. It's unbelievable.

I'm guessing you're Slenderman. Am I correct? I am Slender Man. Wow. Wow, that's going to be fun. That's incredibly annoying already. Maybe your voice can magically haunt itself to be something listenable. Your voice is still more unbearable.

Okay, okay, very good. No one has any clue what you're saying in that voice. Okay, try again. Make America great again. Hey, there you go. Heck yeah, we got that. I agree with that. And then clearly you are a haunted fisherman of some kind?

The name's Hookman, Tony. All right, we got that. The name's Hookman, Tony. All right, we got that. The name's Hookman. Slenderman, Hookman. I didn't make up my own legend, Sam. And then clearly back here we have the girl from The Exorcist. Am I right? No, man, but say my name in the mirror three times, Tony.

Bloody Mary. Yeah. Oh, my God. Known to the Mexicans as La Llorona. Wow. There are a lot of Mexicans here. Slender Man looks like. Got a fucking problem with it.

Oh, my God. Wait a second. Are you related to the Billingslees at all? I didn't hear what you said, but yeah, maybe. Oh, my God. Wait. Oh, Slender Man, I've never seen someone so scary do something like open their mouth hole before. That's the world's smallest glory hole right there. Perfect.

That's where Dr. Ken sticks his dick. Oh, my God. Okay. We got Slender Man, Hookman, and Bloody Mary. Eddie Bravo, Sam Tripoli. Which brings me to this, the final piece of the puzzle. The bucket of destiny, ladies and gentlemen. Ichabod's bucket of destiny.

A bunch of people signed up for the show earlier. If I pull your name out, you get 60 seconds. And then I interview you afterwards. We find out a little bit more about you, and you know how it works. If I pull your name out, you know your 60 seconds is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. That means wrap it up then, or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. That's it. You guys ready to start this show? We are live. Everything is happening. You made it, baby. The number one live podcast in the world is back on a Monday night.

Dude, you packed out the main room on a Monday. You know, I always wanted to make a hit show on a Monday because I would always be bored on Mondays. It used to be my least favorite day of the week. be bored on Mondays. It used to be my least favorite day of the week. And I purposefully always wanted to have a great Monday show because it makes the rest of the

week even better. Yes, tinfoil hat is correct. For the people. I don't know if you guys can see that from where you're at, but only one person here signs up with Black Sharpie every single week. She started on this show a few years ago. We fell in love with her.

Every time she comes up, she's a little bit better than the last time before, which is inspiring for everybody because she's 63? 63? 63 years old. I present to you a Kill Tony legend and icon Aphrodite! We're starting it off with a bang, baby! I can feel it!

This is a special episode tonight. Holy shit! Come on, people! It's the one and only Aphrodite! Yeah! Ha ha ha! Oh my god. If you guys don't mind, I'd just like to rub my coochie for good luck right quick. Oh, I forgot I'm not at home.

Okay. You know, I know a lot of you have been called names by your parents. You know, like, stupid. Right, sir? Dumb. You know what I'm talking about, right, ma'am? Lazy. Hey hey pay attention but me my mom's really special she thinks of me as disgusting disgusting that's the new word disgusting oh you don't know why hold on

Hold on. You didn't see this over there. Over there. I'm disgusting. My mom's upset because I won't worship the white Jesus. Yeah. I told her Jesus would have to suck my pussy first. I'll worship him then Holy shit Aphrodite coming in strong tonight

Heck yeah This is very exciting Aphrodite came in For those of you just listening to the podcast She looks like she is Beetlejuice's hairstylist Exciting stuff Aph Aphrodite. Welcome back. Thank you.

I'm back like a motherfucker. Oh, my goodness. You are so gangster. Yeah. 63 years old. Yeah. You have the spirit of a... A hoe?

Yeah, a hoe. That's exactly what I was going to say. Took the word right out of my mouth. I'm all right with that. Incredible that you can still use your butt muscles like that. Oh yeah. You do a special workout or something? Yeah. Yeah I do.

What is that? I isolate my ass. Wow. My goodness. Is this your guy? This is Eddie. This is your first time seeing Aphrodite. What do you think of a presence like this? You should see the look on his face. You look like you're in your mid-thirties. Yeah. Right? Yeah. You should see the look on his face. You look like you're in your mid-30s. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. That's true. You still getting dick on the daily? Oh, I'm getting it every chance I get. Pussy still works? Hell yeah. Snappy pussy.

I don't know. I don't know. Someone's been smushing down that afro. It's a little bit wobbly today. It's a big dent in it. It looks like somebody pushed it up against it. You fuck white guys? Oh, no.

I like big dick. Oh. It looks like somebody pushed it up against it. You fuck white guys? Oh, no. I like big dick. Oh. Wait a second here. Oh. Slender man. Slender man is offended by that. What about Mexicans? You fuck Mexicans?

Oh, no. I'm strictly dickly blackly. Really? Yeah. I like that plantation fucking. Ha ha. My goodness. You've never...

You took my first joke. Yeah! I wonder what Slender Man's penis is like. What is it like, Slender Man? If you had to describe it, how would you describe it? Because you're so tall and thin. Does the dick match the drapes? No.

No. You ever been with a black guy with a small dick? I don't tolerate that. I kill him. Oh, shit. I can't help it. I get angry. I just want to kill him. Oh, my goodness. No, I check. I don't get caught with that kind of shit. I'm going to check your motherfucking shit out.

At least what? Ten? At least ten? I don't give it a number, but it better not be no three. Don't give it a number, but it better not be no three. Don't give it a number, but it better not be a three. How do you check? I go in the motherfucker's pants and look at it. First date? Hell yeah.

The old Kevin Spacey check. She does that at Hello. I am a dick meter. I can spot a small dick three miles away. Damn. Three miles away. Hell yeah. Sometimes visibility isn't even that far after a game.

You can tell by his gait when he's walking. If he take a dip like this when he's walking, he got a big dick. Oh, that's not true. The NSA would like to talk to you for a second. That could be a gun. First of all, I love black people. I love black people. I love you.

You black too. Wow. Thank you. All right, Donald Trump. What do you mean you love black people. I love black people. I love you. You black, too. Wow. Thank you. All right, Donald Trump. What do you mean you love black people? Who said something that broad? I love soul food.

I just want to let you know I love black people. I love Mexicans. I love grandma twerking. I think it's fucking 2019 right there. I was twerking before all these young motherfuckers. We didn't call it twerking. White bitches always stealing your swag, right? That's right. That's right. We called it shaking your ass. We didn't call it no twerking and all these young motherfuckers. We didn't call it twerking. White bitches always stealing your swag, right? That's right. That's right.

We called it shaking your ass. We didn't call it no twerking and all that bullshit. God damn it. I'm tired of these young motherfuckers. I'm tired of them. Yeah? That's why I'm on the mic, because I'm tired of all the young motherfuckers on the mic all over the world.

Trying to take your dick. That's my dick. When you say young, what are you talking about? People in their 50s? No. Hell no. You know in America, your ass ain't young in them motherfucking 50s. Oh, my God.

I'm talking about these motherfuckers under 30 getting on all the mics all over the world and telling us old people, we too old. Fuck y'all. All you young motherfuckers. Oh, my goodness. Look at you. No anal, though, right? Anal's out the question.

I'm sorry. I like y'all, but fuck you too. Good question, Eddie. You ever have anal sex? I ain't giving no secrets the way my mama's nosy. I told you she was

sneaking around the show and regurgitating me and shit. That's a yes. I gotta do something with my ass or I'll fuck around with you. Oh my goodness. Do you like when guys

eat the asshole? I can eat anything. They can eat breakfast on my ass if they want. Oh my goodness. Do you like when guys eat the asshole? I can eat anything. They can eat breakfast on my ass if they want. Oh shit. That's a yes too. That's fucking breakfast in bed. Whoa, Slenderman. What's going on over here? He looks like he's chromatized. Oh my goodness.

Slenderman, are you okay? He just speaks a little dick. When was the last time you had some dick? When was the last time you had some dick? It's so hot underneath here. When was the last time you had some dick? When was the last time you had some dick? It's so hot underneath here. When was the last time you got dick? This month, I'm glad to say. Oh, my God.

This month? This month. I'm so hungry. Does anybody have a sandwich? Slenderman. Oh, Slenderman, welcome to the show. This is exciting with you with your mask off. I like this. You should call him Suffocating Man. welcome to the show. This is exciting to you with your mask off. I like this.

You should call him Suffocating Man. Okay, Afro. He just asked me did I get some. I said when was the last time you had dick? This month. Dick all in my face. Are we talking August or four weeks? This month isn't something to brag about.

He just moved back to L.A. Dude, this month is three days, four days in. What are you talking about? You're right. You're right. Okay, okay. Oh, this is an August guy. Yeah. Wow. This is August dick, right days in. What are you talking about? You're right. You're right. Okay, okay. Oh, this is an August guy. Yeah.

Wow. This is August dick, right? It wasn't too hot? Is it a new guy? Was it too hot? Yeah. My pussy or him? Oh, the temperature outside.

It's never too hot to fuck. What are you talking about? What kind of dirty talk do you do? What kind of dirty talk do you talk? You only fucking certain weather? I got to have the AC on. If I sweat, I got to stop. If you sweat fucking, I got to stop.

You do jiu-jitsu. You choke out Gracie's and you stop fucking if you start sweating. Yeah. What? Wow. I got to have the fan on me. That's hilarious. Oh, that's teamwork right there. Wow. I got to have the fan on me. That's hilarious.

Oh, that's teamwork right there. That's like if Brock Lesnar couldn't get his dick sucked while it was raining outside or something like that. What's wrong with these people? Child abuse or something? I got rules. Aphrodite, you are also a musician as well as a comedian. And you have a new song out. Is that correct?

Yes. What's it called? There's a Break in the Road. It's done by Dan U Productions. What's hit with that hot stuff? That's my new song that will be coming out shortly. It's a tribute to Prince. A red band has it loaded up here. Would you like to do a little rendition along with it for us?

Can you do that? My vocals is all red, but I'll add a little bit, yeah. And then I want to challenge Joel on them drums. Wait, what? I want to challenge Joel on the drums. You want to have a Mexican drummer? Yes. You know how to play the drums?

Yes. You really know how to play the drums? Are you fucking with me, Afro Daini? No, I'm not fucking with you. Who are you, Jamie Foxx? I mean, there's been no girls, no women up here, and I got to at least do a little something for the ladies. You know what?

You know what? Fuck it. You're right. If you can actually play the drums, you're a legend on this show. I think it's a win-win situation for us. Let's get the show started with a bang. Hell, yeah. Aphrodite, you are the first ever woman to compete in a Mexican drama.

Here we go. Aphrodite, I'm sure you know how this works, but I'm going to explain it. Whoa. But I'm going to explain it for the audience members. This is sort of crazy. If Aphrodite wins, she becomes the new drummer for the Kill Tony band. What?

This could be one of those moments that we're going to remember forever. However, Aphrodite, I must remind you that the competition, the drum solo competition that happens, it's about overall comedy. It's about giving it your all. It's about performance. It's about comedy comedy. It's about giving it your all. It's about performance. It's about comedy. So there you go. With all that said,

I present to you for the first time ever, a Mexican drum off with Aphrodite. Whoa, she's dropping her tits on the cymbal. This is crazy. Here she goes. Wow. She completely lied to me. All right. Wow. I can't believe you would lie to me like that. I always wondered what happened to the animatronic gorilla from Chuck E. Cheese. Oh, my goodness. Slender Man. Oh. Slender Man.

Oh. Slender Man. What the fuck? God damn. I can't believe it. That's where we're at? I can't believe it. Man, you are a racist white guy.

My goodness. Gay guys can get away with everything. I'm telling you. Yeah, bitch. Gay guys with little dicks. Well, Aphrodite, put the mic back in the mic stand because now you have to pay the ultimate price. That's all right. I'm good.

You're about to get your fucking ass beat right now. I don't care. I don't care. Here to defend his throne, undefeated all time in the Mexican drama and for sure still undefeated, I present to you the one and only Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez. Here he is. Here we go.

Here he comes. Any second now. Whoa! Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, my God. Yeah! Oh, my God.

He had a purple dildo with sparklers on it, for those of you listening. He dipped it into a glass to put the sparklers out, but one of the sparklers didn't go in the water. It was alcohol. Bad idea. Wow. That was donkey show level Mexican good, my friend. Yeah, that's what he does.

Joel, show these motherfuckers how a drum off's supposed to go. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wowie. It is close. That is close. I would want to be the judges. Very close.

Go fuck yourself, Aphrodite. Yeah. Coming would want to be the judge. Go fuck yourself, Aphrodite. Come in for my shit, you fucking... You young motherfucker! How many of you guys have Aphrodite winning that Mexican drama? How many of you have Joelberg Joel Jimenez winning that?

There you go. There she goes. It's the great and powerful Aphrodite, everybody. There she goes. Thank you, everybody. There she goes. And the show has begun. Well, it's going to be a... Aphrodite's got a long ride home on that Underground Railroad tonight, I'll tell you that.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my goodness. That was great. Well, the show has already begun. I don't know if you guys have noticed that or not. We have electricity and water mixing here on the stage. Good times. It's a thing of beauty.

That's Big Dick Joel right there. They got it, Joel. I already have somebody on it. And the black chicks are like, damn, that Mexican's got a big dick. All right. Back to the bucket we go. You guys having fun already? Cool.

Pulled a name out. We're going to get 60 seconds uninterrupted by Alex Holiday. Here we go. Alex Holiday is getting up. Here he comes. Here he comes. Here we go. Back from that ledge. Back from that ledge, my friend.

One more time for Alex Holliday. Hey, guys. Oh, yeah. All right. So as you guys can probably already tell, I have a deep voice. Yeah, I sound like I should do voiceovers for large animals in kids' movies. It's cool, though. It took my family a little to get used to my, like, voice change. The first few times my mom called me after it changed, when I answered, she thought I'd been

kidnapped. Yeah, she's like, I have a very specific set of skills. I will find you. Like, hey, relax. very specific set of skills. I will find you. Like, hey, relax. I won't sell myself into sex slavery. Bitch. No, the biggest change I noticed when my voice dropped was my experience playing online video games. I went

from being called a girl and a pussy online to a rapist and a pedophile. Yeah, and I try to explain myself like, no, no, no, I'm not a pedophile. I'm 12 years old. But it turns out that's exactly what a pedophile. Yeah, and I try to explain myself. Like, no, no, no, I'm not a pedophile. I'm 12 years old. But it turns out that's exactly what a pedophile would say. All right.

There you go. Alex Holliday with exactly 60 seconds. Welcome to the show. What'd you say? Somehow your voice is scarier than all three of the scary people that are on the stage. Yeah, you are

a real slender man. You're a slender boy. Look at you. You big giant baby. What's going on up there, Danny? What's happening? David, come get it. Yes, do it. Do it. Yes, David. Absolutely. How about a hand for the great David Deary, everybody?

David Deary! Keeping us all safe. He still loves Hillary Clinton. A lot of water on this stage. David Cross's father. Wow. Okay. So welcome back to the show.

You've been on this show before, right, Alex? Yeah, like a month ago or so. Heck yeah. I don't forget a voice like that. I know. You've spent a long time. Yeah, this happened a lot. Yep.

That's your life forever. Basically. What happened? Are you about to hit like another gear of puberty or something like that? Like where are we at here? In third? I hope not, but you know, it keeps going. That's just always what you sound like.

Is there like a cool type of voice you could do? Like if you're, let's say I'm a chick that's standing at a bar. It's really hot, and it's just me and you. What would you say to me? I mean... That's what you would say? Come on. Give it a good shot here, Alex.

Take a breath. Think about it. I'm a hot chick at a bar. Hit on me. Go. Oh, man. It's a shame there's nobody else at this bar, because I would literally fuck anything right now.

Is it hot in here or is it just me? Hey, you come here often? Hi there. You want to slob on my knob? You only fuck black guys? That's Joel. You got anything for this, Alex? Have you ever acted or improvised or done comedy before?

I mean, I've done comedy a little bit. Okay, let's try it one more fucking time, Alex. I'm a hot chick at a bar. Here we go. Wow, I mean, jeez, I just wish anybody would hit on me right now. Hey, can I get you a drink? Oh, my God, what's wrong with your voice? Ask her for a ice cream. You fell right into my trap, what's wrong with your voice? Ask her for her MySpace.

Ask her for her MySpace. You have the vibe of a Duke lacrosse player if he was in Grand Theft Auto. I don't know why. You sound like a sexy Home Alone talk boy. I don't even know what a Home Alone talk boy is. It is true. You seem like you'd be the cool kid out of all the mass shooters.

You seem like you'd bully all of them. I can't even begin to do an impression of you. Oh, my. It's just like this. Your voice is too high to do an impression of me. Yeah. You sound like a Muppet, man. I know, I get that often.

Everybody get on the fucking ground. I swim at Stanford and I rape chicks in the bushes. Oh my goodness. Alex, so remind us, what do you do for work? I work for my dad. Oh yeah? He's a small business.

Yeah, small business? What do you... Home theater and alarm installation company. What do you do, voiceovers for kiddie porn? For kiddie porn? My voice is too deep for that. In a world where kid porn is legal Alex how long

have you been doing stand up a little bit more than three months now yeah has your dad seen you perform the dad that

who owns the company that you work for he saw me last time or like last time I was on the show I showed him that and he was kind of sad that I like didn't

shout out our company wow you want to plug the family? Yeah, J&T Systems, if you want an alarm system. Hey, honestly, for three months, man, I love your joke writing. I don't know if we're supposed to be kind. No better plug, too, by the way.

I mean, who doesn't want a home invasion system put in by someone who looks like they would invade your home. And they're like, oh, you can trust me. Only me and you know the code. Wow. I promise. The chloroform is protocol. I love it.

I love it. If you would think that this guy's involved with one conspiracy or something shady, what's the vibe you get from him, Eddie Bravo? El Paso Walmart shooter. That's what I get. Oh, wow. That's what I get. Eddie, you agree with that?

Say make America great again. Yeah. Slow. I'm not going to do that. Wow, he refuses to say that. Fuck America. Fuck America. Fuck America. I want it to be shitty again. Slow. I'm not going to do that. Fuck America. Fuck America.

I want it to be shitty again. He's a nice guy. Don't choke him out. But I'm being serious, man. I like your joke writing. For three months in, I'm very impressed. There's not a lot of wasted lines. I thought it was great. Absolutely. I agree with that. I would say use that.

Your dad wanted you to say, my dad came out and you do that line on stage. I like that. Yeah. Your dad wanted you to plug this company. That's fucking brilliant, man. If you guys need like a home theater system,

I do. I need an alarm. Good work. Yeah. I don't have a feeling you're going to watch me jerking off while I just watch Netflix and shit. Oh, he's watching it again. Well, Alex, you got pulled out of the bucket.

We had fun with you. Good set. Hey. Sam Tripoli approved. There you go. Alex Holiday. Wow. This is a fun episode so far.

We're playing with fire. Let's just keep the momentum going. You guys know another song? It's the same song all night? No, they play the person up and off. I'm just checking. I'm just checking. I'm sorry.

You guys know some Slayer? Angel of Death. I don't think they do. Yeah, let me concoct that on saxophone real quick. That's easy. So gay snarky. So gay snarky. Yeah, let me play some Sl that on saxophone real quick. That's easy. So gay snarky. So gay snarky. Yeah, let me play some Slayer on sax, Eddie Bravo.

Wow, this is so fucking cool. This is crazy. So this young lady, I actually wrote her name down because I was going to put her up regardless if she got pulled out of the bucket because I know for a fact she leaves tomorrow. She stayed in Los Angeles an extra day for the opportunity to get on this show. I saw her on an open mic. I was walking through to check in for the original room two weeks ago. I just so happened to walk in when she was on stage, absolutely killing. Last week I went to check in for the OR again. Coincidentally, on that same open mic two weeks in a row, she was on stage again, killing again. So I ran into her at the improv a few days ago, and we ended up talking, and I told her, stick around, sign up, and if you don't get up at the end of the show, I'll put you up.

She signed up. This is the bucket of destiny. I present to you Nicole Tran for the first time ever on Kill Tony. I love Nicole Tran. Here she is. She's been featured on a lot of Brian Holtzman's Instagram videos, and she is here now on Kill Tony live. Come on, make some noise for Nicole, everybody. Chào mừng các bạn đã đến với bộ phim Hãy nhớ đăng ký kênh để nhận thêm nhiều video mới nhé! I'm from Vietnam.

Please excuse me the way I speak. There are some letters in the English language that I cannot pronounce. I could tell you which one they are, but I cannot pronounce them. But sometimes language barriers can be to my advantage. One time my boss said she likes hair that's curly. I thought she said I could go home early. My car is a Hyundai Accent. When people hear me speak, they ask me,

Hey, where's your accent from? I say, you scarlet in San Jose. Hell yeah. Nicole Tran, ladies and gentlemen. Hell yeah. Move over, Allie Wong. That's right. That's right, Allie. Your mom is here to take the throne.

Allie Viet Cong. Yeah. Allie Viet Cong. Hi, blondie. Wow. Can I just say something? Yeah, go ahead. This lady is the star of one of my favorite internet shows.

Thank God it's Friday with Brian Holtzman. She is his lawyer. And she is an amazing comic and a great actress. Absolutely. Thank you so much. My God, your honesty is the truth. Alright.

Imagine if you can go to Vietnam and just speak English and they laugh. I'd be like, Yo, what's up, dude? I'm just out here trying to do comedy in the fucking jungle. It's hysterical. I love the Brian Holtzman bit. I reposted that shit.

I'm like, is that a real? Yeah, I was so confused. I was watching that today. It's so weird that you're here. You were at the improv last night, right? I'm like, is that a real? Yeah, I was soaking in the news trick. I was watching that today. It's so weird that you're here. You were at the improv last night, right? I saw you and I was like, you'd be great on Kill Tony. And here you are.

There you go. The bucket decided. Serious question. Serious question. Yeah, go ahead. No holds barred here, Eddie. Are you about to ask her? Is that action real? Yeah, real. It's real? Real. No holds barred here, Eddie. Are you about to ask her if she has a... Is that acting real? Yeah, real.

It's real? Real. You can't... No, I don't fake it. Okay, you're not faking it? No. Damn, okay. You saw her original work was...

She was a naked Asian chick running from Hiroshima. That's the first time we ever saw her. Wow. So, Nicole, how long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Two years, but I'm very serious. What do you do for a living? I'm a part-time fashion designer. Part-time what?

Fashion designer. Fashion designer. Heck yeah. Wow. You do that all at your own dry cleaners? Oh, my God. I'mers? Oh my God. My goodness. What was that?

She just called you a faggot in Vietnamese. Oh my goodness. Heck yeah. What I just said, you're making me lose my face. Losing face is very important in Asian culture, man. All right.

Watch out. I think Bobby Lee's been doing that joke for 20 years. Hold off. So you have to go back to San Jose tomorrow. Is that correct? That's where you live? How'd you end up in San Jose? There's no Asians in San Jose.

Yeah. Have you seen Golden State Warrior Games? There's no Asians in San Jose. Yeah. Have you seen Golden State Warrior Games? It's all fat Asians, dog. We have a little Saigon towel in there. Why do Asians like partying so much? You go to Vegas and it's like 30 Asian chicks. They're all like in a circle. What's going on with that?

You mean dancing? He's asking you a question on behalf of all Asians. They party in Vegas harder than anybody White girls, Mexican girls Nobody fucks with Asians Why is that? Yeah, I've heard that stereotype Asians party hard

Yeah, what is up with that? I got a question What do you Okay, my apologies, lawyer I love that Nicole's paying more attention to this show than Sam is already. Don't you have families and you guys are in Vegas partying all the time? Go ahead, answer the question, Nicole. I'm very sincere.

I think Asian culture is gambling, man. Wow. No, you guys like partying. Money, money, money. That's our culture. What did Asians do before karaoke? I think classic opera. Do you do karaoke?

Do you love karaoke too? Do you have a song that you usually do? Of course, I do it for you. Okay, yeah. Go ahead. Here she goes. Jimmy, please say you'll wait for me. I grow up some days, you see.

Saving all my kisses just for you. Say with love forever true. Jesus Christ. Wow. So beautiful. That was like actually I think the best music performance ever in the history of the show. That almost made me cry. You should get her.

Her together. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? That's your lead singer right there. Yeah, that is. That's your Asian Pat Benatar. I think you mean Reed singer. Wow.

I just. By the way, Brian hasn't stopped coming since you got on the stage. I'm almost out. Heck yeah. We know Brian loves all the trans including Nicole Tran. Yeah.

That's a great idea. Brian just had an unbelievable idea. You live in San Jose, right? Yes. And you're going to be there in October? No, I'm going back and then I'm coming back here in November. I need to have some shows. So you're going to be in San

Jose in October. If you're coming back here in November is after October. Hold on. We're using the Christian calendar, not the Chinese calendar. So make sure they know which calendar you're talking about. Everything's American that I'm talking about. If we play a game of checkers,

it's American checkers too. Will you be here during the year of the rat? He's trying to give you a spot on their San Jose show, right? Yeah, I'm trying. It's not San Jose, but it'd be whatever you want. Sacramento or San Francisco. You close to either one of those?

There's no Asians there. I'm open to all locations. I'm a professional entertainer, man. Hell yeah. Well, I guess we'll talk after the show. We'll figure it out. We'll do some math on the situation. We have a big San Francisco show if you want to go to it.

It's in October. We'll throw you a spot. I love the biggest one. Hell yeah. You and Afro Diety. What is with all the women and size queens on this show? I like to go to show where all the blondie, blue eyed white guys will be there. What the fuck?

Damn. You don't like big dicks, right? Yeah. No? Blondie. Overrated, right? See? See?

She likes her dicks small and white like a kernel of rice. I only like blondie and blondie. Dick don't matter. You like round eye, huh? Blonde hair, blue eyes. How about Slenderman? What do you think of him? Is he close to-

Dick too big. Dick too big. How about the fisherman? No buku. No buku. Oh, my God. Dick too big. Dick too big. How about the fisherman? No buku. No buku. Oh, my God. Dick too big. Oh, it hurt.

It hurt, man. All right, Nicole. Well, I mean, unbelievable performance all the way through and through. You're just absolutely hilarious. You did exactly what I thought you were going to do. Nicole Tran, everybody. Find her on Instagram. Nicole.Tran.1614 Mr. Holiday with

two L's for Alex Holiday and Aphrodite love watching me there she goes one more time for Nicole Tran what a beautiful song that was What was that fucking Demented song she sang Y'all should have played Turning Japanese right there, right? That would have been perfect That was a sweet song, Tony Yeah, it was very sweet

I want a recording of that To fall asleep to or something I don't, I've never had a nightmare But that's going to be the soundtrack to my nightmare. Pulled a name out of the bucket. This looks like a brand spanking new name. Make some noise for Mike Benedetto. Mike Benedetto. Mike Benedetto. Here

we go. Lucky corner. Oh, another. I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you. Get you. Mike Benedetto, everybody. I will, bud get you. I'm going to get you. Get you. Mike Benedetto, everybody. I will, bud. Thank you. Thank you. Fuck Joe Rogan.

What? Oprah of meatheads making it so hard to achieve that level of manhood and ethics that guys like me can't fucking do. The alpha hippie is making me so I gotta be mindful and selfless. But for some reason I gotta dip my nuts in a cryo-freeze thing twice a day. And then I gotta brine my balls in a fucking float tank.

And then I gotta go to jujitsu and fucking... I gotta torture my partner and suffocate him with my savory new ball bag. I'm not allowed to eat anything I can't fucking successfully bow hunt in the LA River.

There's nothing but squirrels and homeless people out there and I'm not eating any more fucking squirrels. Fuck shop, fuck town, and fuck Bravo. I got one thing to say to this hetero, hug-fighting partner of Joe's. Can I have some more breath? All right, all right, all right.

Let's take a breath here. Don't hurt me. I got money, I got money. I got money. Hold on. What's going on here? Is that a weapon? What do you have?

I brought my bow. I wanted you to autograph my bow. Oh, my God. Wow, Mike. You came fully prepared for this here tonight. I meant to then say I'm a huge fan of yours. Of course. I know.

I know. I know. Wow. So, Mike Benedetto. I know. You're not that dumb. That was internet trolling if it was a real person right there. And then it was a big twist.

It was. Didn't I block you? What's that? I blocked you, didn't I? I don't even have a Twitter account. I got one for the show like yesterday. People sit on Twitter? I'm talking about Instagram.

Damn, dog. No. No. Not on social media. So let's take a... Okay. Let's take a second here, Mike. So let's take a beat. First of all, Real Balls, very compelling set. You know, big, big start. You got everybody

all riled up. Very cool. First time doing stand-up? First time doing stand-up. That's good. That was real good. You've been listening to the show for a while, Keltoni? I never thought I'd do stand-up. I'd watch you guys up here and I'm like, I'll never

fucking do that. And then I caught this show a couple months ago and I said, I gotta go practice not succeeding, failing. That's important, right? Man, I wish more people would do that that sign up for this show. Better to fail big than to just succeed a little bit. Absolutely. That's definitely a great mentality to have. I love that. Heck yeah. Very cool, Mike.

Where do you live? I live in San Diego. I'm a general contractor down there. I own my own small remodeling company. Very cool. And what does a day in the life of Mike Benedetto look like? I wake up at 6 and then I get my two daughters ready, Anya and Rhea, 12 and 8.

Then me and my wife split up and take them to their respective places. Then I go to the job site, maybe get materials, a nice swing of hammer all day, sweat pipe, high rebar. It's raining, brother. Heck yeah. Hi.

He answered that like he was being questioned for a murder. Yeah, that's true. He looks like one of Joe Rogan's testicles. My goodness. So you're a fan of, the big twist there is that you're a fan of Joe. You listen to his podcast. Huge fan of everybody the big twist there is that you're a fan of Joe. You listen to his podcast. Huge fan of everybody. That's fun.

What's something interesting about you that we'd be surprised to know? Any fun hobbies or anything crazy about you? I used to, I did the trades in order to pay for my education because I used to be a psychotherapist. And so I did the trades to pay my way through college. I got a master's in psych and then I got a master's in social work, and then I did... And then what happened? You wrote some bad prescriptions and lost it all? I still

have those prescriptions, but I had to pick a lane. I wanted to start a family, and so I stopped doing clinical private practice, and I always had a client base, so I just started the business. Wow. So you still do that? Yeah.

Well, not the clinical stuff on the side. I do mostly construction. Right. Very, very cool. How about your wife? Not of jokes. Oh, come on. He had good jokes, Joel. It doesn't work when they're set.

Who works hardest? The Mexicans you pick up at Home Depot or the Guatemalans? Wait, what? Because I got into arguing with someone. I'm like, Mexicans work way harder than the Guatemalans at Home Depot. the Guatemalans? Wait, what? Because I got in an argument with someone. I'm like, Mexicans work way harder than the Guatemalans at Home Depot. Now, since you work in construction, you would know.

Look at that. His eyes lit up. Power rank, day labor. Hey, nothing against Central Americans. Race war. But Mexicans work harder, right? Who gives a better deal? What is the answer?

The answer is all the Latins work harder than all the white guys. That's the answer. We know that. Boo. Boo. Yeah, we know that. Good job, Mike. We really set you up there.

So you don't want that wall. You don't want the wall. Fuck the wall. That's a stupid call tonight. I knew it. I knew it. All right. Let's check in with Slender Man over there.

Also, do you find that Asians party harder? Most of my clientele is from the LGBT community in San Diego. They're mostly middle-aged gay guys with the money that looks like he's got. My goodness. He's not really gay, though, is he? Is he really gay? No.

Slender Man is, but Jeremiah is a married man. Has a beautiful wife. Have you ever reconnected with Snoopy? Good grief, Sam. He got you, dude. You suck. Mike, what else? Any other fun things that you're up to or that you do? I fell in love with Jiu Jitsu about 10 years ago, but I couldn't do it for very long because I can't.

I got jacked up trying to do a go-go platter. The guy stacked me, and I can't urinate anymore. Hold on. Okay. Jesus. I have to use catheters to go to the bathroom five times a day now. Is that true? Yep.

Hold on. Because of jujitsu? Well, apparently I found a preexisting condition at the base of my spinal cord. And when I got stacked, it just pushed it over the edge and I couldn't piss anymore. Oh, my God. What's that called? West Hollywood disease? Wow.

Thank you, three people. So you have to basically shove a plastic tube in your urethra every time you want to pee. I got one in my bag. Did you get oil checked? Do it. Do it. You have one in your bag?

I'm not going to fucking do it for you, but I'll show you the thing. Well, why wouldn't you do it? Why can't we see you do it? I'll go in the bathroom with you. No,

we don't want you to do it. We don't want you to do it, but can you shove a pencil in your dick hole? No. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding, Mike. We're not going to do that.

I never knew what sounding was, and then all of a sudden, my gay boys, all my clients, they're like, oh, so you like sounding. I'm like, no. What is sounding? You stick fucking rods in your pee hole for pleasure. No. Okay, okay, okay. It's true.

Wow. We are just bored as a species, huh? We're just bored. We're shoving number two pencils up our dicks. Sounds painful. All right, Mike. Well, congratulations on your first set ever. I thought you were a real douchebag five seconds in,

but it turns out it was a real cool little piece of art that you made. You came out like a troll, and then you went with it, and you rolled with it, and it was all a big misdirect. I think we all took the bait at the very beginning, and that's what you did. Exactly what you said about you'd rather fail big than just phone it in and do what so many other people are doing, which is trying to do good off of the beats and delivery and styles that they've seen a million times.

And I absolutely love what you did up here tonight. Thank you. Especially for a first time set. Thank you. And I just made it too long. I didn't get to the twist. But let's just all raise a glass to the guy who makes this all possible and gets us here and brings his friends.

And it's the funniest fucking show ever for Mr. Jeremiah Watkins. Hey, look at that. I love that. Absolutely. I love it, Jeremiah. Very funny. Good writing, dude. I'm a big fan. I just want to give a shout out to all the waitresses working hard. Guys, make sure you take care of the waitresses.

There you go. I'm trying to bang the waitresses. I am trying to bang the waitresses. Okay, why do I feel like I just got trolled? That was some brave shit. I was like, where are we going? By the way, that is every internet troll right there. They're like, you fucking suck.

You're like, what? He's like, oh, I'm just kidding. I love you. It's like, goddamn. Yeah. They're all pussies. Okie dokie. That's what we're talking about.

This guy's, okay. That guy's deep. No, guy's deep No we don't do that We don't acknowledge the buffoons Sam Once that starts they just keep going How about Tower 7? Tower 9? They'll just keep going Pull another name out of the bucket

Make some noise for one word name Beto Beto. B-E-T-O. Beto. Beto. Here he comes. Here he is. Beto, ladies and gentlemen. One more time for Beto.

It's Beto, but Beto. It's not like the Conqueror, you feel me? But I'm going to just go ahead and say it. I'm a stay-at-home dad. Not by choice. I just found out some pretty bad news about myself. Got molested. I was like, oh, shit, it hit me hard.

So I'm like, I'm going to just go into depression. Screw it. But no, the real reason I'm going to stay on home diet is because my wife, she's totally missed the signs that our youngest son can be a potential serial killer. And I noticed these right away when he was four and he was stabbed. Instead of cutting it in the paper, he would stab it. So she clearly doesn't know what she's doing, and I believe in gender equality. So I said, let's switch roles.

Yay. All right. There he is. Turlite. Enter. All right, here he is. Beto. Beto, yeah, there you go.

Actually, it's Beto. Actually, you don't say my name. It's Beto. You son of a bitch. Welcome to the show, Beto. Thank you, thank you. Actually, just you. Actually, just so you probably noticed, I had no idea

how this worked. My comedian homie just hit me up. Your homie what? You can do it! My comedian homie just hit me up and said, hey, we going to the comedy store. Say no fool, you're funny, dog. You're gonna kill it, homie. Get up there, eh.

Just have a few micheladas, dawg You're gonna fucking, eh Talk about your kid, eh They're gonna love when you talk about your kid, homie Think about all the heinas, homes Tell them how he stabs the paper with the scissors, eh That fool's shanking the construction paper, dog. So let's talk about it. So you've done stand-up comedy before?

A couple shows. I have six months in. Six months. Wow. Two shows in six months? Hell yeah. You need to work harder, homie. I do.

Well, it's hard. It's hard. I guess it's Guatemalans is the answer after all, huh? So Beto, let's talk about it here. Stay at home, dad. How long you been doing that for?

A year. A year. What were you doing before that for? A year. A year. What were you doing before that? The kid's 12, though. I had to let him marinate for a bit. You know what I mean? Better late than never, dog. It's funny.

I actually had my first kid at 18, and I blamed the public school system. Why? What school system? The public school system, L.A. The puppet? Public school system. Did you get a teacher pregnant or what the fuck? Dude, a Mexican can't understand a Mexican right now. I talk too fast.

Why do you blame the public school system? Because. They didn't teach you about what? Condoms? They ran out. They never mentioned that once? They ran out. They ran out.

They ran out. All right. So how old's your kid? I got two. I got an eight-year-old and a six-year-old. Eight-year-old and a six-year-old. And you became a stay-at-home dad a year ago. Yes. And what does the wife do? She works, honestly, I don't know

her official title. What? You don't know what? That means stripper. You mean specifically? I think she started doing accounting. Specifically, I'm not sure, dog, but something's paying for that white civic. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Joel Berg.

Let's talk about it. What else? What do you do? What do you do for fun? What are some hobbies of yours? You go frisbee golfing? I started working out. When you say working out, you go like that. What does that mean exactly?

It's my dumbbells. Picking up your kids? Why does he sound like Mexican Joe Pesci? I started working out. I don't know. I don't know, man. I love your face because you you go through from smiling to, I'm going to shank everybody on stage.

Now I see why when they told me about this, they're like, oh, if you get chosen, you're going to get ate up. Yeah. I'm already dead, homie. You can't kill me. Out in the street, he probably wouldn't be saying that, you know? Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

What? I didn't even hear what you said. What was that, eh? What'd you know? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. What? I didn't even hear what you said. What was that, eh? What'd you say? I said, I know people that'll fuck you up for making fun of them like that. You wanna get greenlit? It's fucking time. Dude. Bring a gangbang into the comedy store.

I know people that'll fuck me up, too, alright? You ain't special, homie. But not me, but Iie? But I get it. I get it. I get it. You want to get green-lit, Holmes? You want to get green-lit? I didn't know Mexico had a Jersey Shore, homie.

What's up, eh? Wow. You woke the dead back there, dude. You don't take shots at Jolberg. He'll eat you up. Have you ever been fucked by a purple dildo with sparklers attached to it? He's gonna put something in your

bato. Alright. Well, I mean, congratulations, dude. Third time ever on stage. Fun stuff. What's the six? What? Six. Oh, okay. Well, who's counting? Should've left it at three. Should have left it at three. Should have left it at three.

Heck yeah. Congrats on getting up, getting pulled, having fun up here. You played around well. You're a good guy. You got something. You got something. Thank you. Thanks for threatening us with gang violence.

Hey, I don't want no trouble. I got kids. I don't want any trouble. You did great. Don't worry. Don't worry. Thank you, man. no trouble. I got kids. I don't want any trouble. You did great. Don't worry. Thank you, man. Appreciate it. There you go.

He did great. There he goes. Beto, everybody. Beto. He's on Twitter. He's on Twitter at BetoOtherCM. That's an interesting one. What is it?

Beto C-O-T-H-E-R-C-M or something. What? Beto Other SM, social media. Beto Other SM, social media. Well, what's the other social media? Oh, okay. Very confusing. He's the other social media? Oh, okay. Very confusing. He's got a Zynga. I don't know what's going on.

Eddie, win P. In the meanwhile, I pulled another name out of the bucket. How many of you like it when comedians do good on this show? That's nice. That's a nice round of applause. A bunch of nice people smiling. How many of you like it when comedians do bad on this show?

Wow. Whoa. Look at that. What a hateful audience. These people love blood out here on a Monday. I've been impressed with the comic album. They've been pretty good writers, man. Yeah.

Yeah. Even the guy who threatened us with gang violence. We got good comedians. He did it in a haiku. We got a hot audience. Something's bound to go terribly wrong any second. I pulled a name out of the bucket. Make some noise.

60 seconds uninterrupted goes to David Paulus. David Paulus. Here we go. David Paulus. I've got to A, hey, get away I've got to Run away One more time for David Paulus, everyone.

It's football season again. Another great opportunity for us to all learn about domestic violence. And while that's all very informative, since when did the Italian mob unionize NFL officiating? Every time there's a fucking flag on the field, they send it to Dean Blandino at the NFL offices in New York. And it's like a fucking taped audition for the Sopranos.

On the playing question, the colored fella, number 24, who was carrying the ball, approached the line of goal, at which time the Irishman, number 46, at which time the Irishman, number 46, came in with a velocity and cracked that shine in the fucking head. Though it was a fantastic hit at the time of the infraction propagated by the land speed, the call stands.

Back to you, Al. There you go, David Paul I've got to David, this is what, two weeks in a row for you? It's been a busy five weeks Yeah, this is the third time Third time in five weeks, two weeks in a row You're a very lucky guy

What do we know about you? You made a movie Best Thanksgiving ever, Amazon Prime. Check it out. You put all your money into a movie, and you're earning it back, right? Slowly. Slowly but surely, thanks to Kill Tony.

That's right. You got the big Kill Tony bump. A lot of people went to see your shitty movie, and it's very exciting. What else is going on in the world? Anything else happen this past week that we need to know about? I went on a date with an Asian chick.

Oh, you did? Nicole Tran? Does she leave to San Diego tomorrow? Preparations, man, after last week's set. You don't remember last week? He shit on Asians the whole time. Now he's having an Asian date. Yeah? Okay. How'd it go? It went fine.

Uh-huh. Wow. You're still live on the show. You know that, right? Can you tell us more than fine? I got laid. It was a layup. Okay. Pussy tight?

It was a layup. Good question, Eddie Bravo. Pussy tight? Asians got, right? Don't they have tight pussies? Yeah, and they party hard. What'd you do with this girl? Good elasticity.

Take us through the evening. Where did you meet her? Plenty of sushi? Funny enough, I met her at the Japanese restaurant I work at. She was hanging out at the sushi bar. Is that true? Incredible. Keep going. And you're like, hey, what's up? You want some

not confident dick in you Not confident dick Really is that what I'm exuding right now Well yeah it's been a long time So yeah I hopped over to the Belmont across the street And then That was it wasn't much to talk about You fucked her at the Belmont

No no no I have an apartment No car but I have an apartment You took her back to your place? Yeah. You said you don't have a car. Did she drive? No, we took an Uber. Very good.

Thank God. So how'd it go? You sat down on the couch. Then what happens? You're like, hey, you want a cup of tea or something like that? Or can I get you something? Can I get you a massage? Or perhaps some dry cleaning done?

Some fucking... massage or perhaps some dry cleaning done? Some fucking... Would you like some... Yeah. Did you laugh? Okay, okay. So then what happens? Take us through it. Tell us the fucking truth,

David. I can tell you're conniving up some Midwest lie over there. Get the fuck out of here, man. I can tell you're conniving up some Midwest lie over there. Get the fuck out of here, man. I put on full metal jacket. We had a little small talk, drank some vodka, and that was it. Why full metal jacket? Why? I fucking knew it.

Too beaucoup. We love you long time. All right. David. David. What happened? You're sitting on the couch. Tell me the truth.

What the fuck, man? Listen. I put on best Thanksgiving ever. David, stop making jokes. This is the interview part. You put on best Thanksgiving ever? Is that true? No, it's not true.

So tell me the truth now, David. Stop lying. Be honest with yourself and with us. All right. We're watching HBO Go. Uh-huh. Okay, that's just an app. That's not something that you watch.

I don't have cable, man. So you made it to the main screen of HBO Go, and that's it? Yeah. You came in your pants, and that was the end of the night? No, man. I'm asking you a fucking question, David. I need you to pay attention here without lying or trying to be funny. Explain to me how the evening went.

What did you put on HBO Go? Jiro Dreams of Sushi? Black Girl Sketch Show? Alright, there he goes. David Paulus, everybody. Make some noise for David Paulus. There he goes. He's run out of brain energy.

Doesn't know how to answer common sense questions about something that happened days ago. Yeah. After you eat off... After you eat out an Asian chick... After you eat out an Asian chick,

do you get horny 20 minutes later? I wanted to know... We wouldn't know. He would just say something stupid if we asked him that question. I wanted to know if you wore a condom because I heard they like it raw. Hey, that's an Asian joke. That's another sushi one. As many of you know, we have a –

Sushi joke? What? Oh, my God. Brian gave me the evil eye. There's so much going on right now. Guys, we have an intern on this show. Brandon, the intern, came in a couple months ago. We're making some amazing

adjustments that are going to be taking place production-wise with this show, including better live feed sound quality and a great many other changes that are all being enacted right now. As part of his internship, when he came on board, one night his mom came out

to the show, and so i threw him up for a spot to do 60 seconds he bombed so hard it was almost depressing and uh and i love watching people bomb more than the rest of you but i mean i almost killed myself for him uh at the end of his set his mom came up afterwards and destroyed i I brought his mom up. She killed after watching her disappointing son perform. Last week he told me that he had something special planned. He's ready for some redemption here. So I present to you for the second time ever, Brandon the Intern, everybody.

Here he is. He's going to be a hero on this show one day. But here he is,'s gonna be a hero on this show one day but here he is, Brandon the intern I know what you're all thinking Brandon the intern Thompson you came here a few weeks ago and you graciously threw a performance just to offer your poor

attention starved African American lesbian mother one last ray of that sweet spotlight before she shuffles off this mortal coil? She was in the Navy. You're a goddamn hero, Mr. Thompson. I actually came this week to offer a little podcast pushback on a Mr. Sam Harris. So this fella's story is that he found enlightenment after trying MDMA. He must have been the weirdest dude at the party.

Like, bro, this Molly is crazy. I'm totally gonna intellectually dismantle Islam. Next, he dropped out of Stanford. Pro tip for any listeners trying this at home, be wealthy. You know, a lot of people

skip this step, and it's a shame. You know what I mean? It's a shame! Fuck you, Gail! I can sing, too. People skip this step. And it's a shame. You know what I mean? It's a shame. Fuck you, Gail. I can sing too. There you go. Brandon the intern. 55 seconds of thunder right there.

I like your style, man. Big improvement from both times that you've been on this show. He's getting right in position. He's got a big green sack. What's up with the bag, Brandon? First time we met you, you had a bag, and you told me that you wanted to show me something special. I said there's no way I'll find it to be special at all.

And then you showed us amazing. You retarded. What? Special, retarded. Wow, there you go. You heard we said one of Sam's keywords, I guess. No matter what's happening in the show, you say special and you'll just start talking. Incredible. What is this, punch drunk? You can't just talk whenever you want. We try to have some manners on this show, Sam.

Retarded. Anyway. All right. Remember the thing I was talking about a minute ago? Rewind, fast forward, come back. And here we are. And he showed me amazing graphics. So I got to ask you, Brandon, what's in the bag this week? Well, OK, so in the year 2016, I went to a Trump rally. Oh, you know, whatever, because you only live once, you know, you got to see it. Anyway, I got a little drunk at the Trump rally. And, uh, I looked at my buddy and I was like, I saw these three dudes in like business suits walking by.

And, uh, they were wearing MAGA hats. And I looked at my buddy and I was like, I'm getting a fucking Trump hat. So, um, I walked across like three parking lots. And, um, I, um and I got myself a Trump hat. They tried to get it back. My friends got arrested in the process. But the crazy part was that I went home, and I turned on the lights, and I'm like, what's this squiggly shit right here?

And then I Googled it, so I stole a signed Trump hat. Wow. A hat signed by the President of the United States. But then the thing is, I've mentioned this on the show before. My black grandfather, who married my white grandma in 1944, he went over and he met her in World War II. And what he brought back from World War II was this Nazi helmet. Wow.

So anyway. That's a real Nazi helmet. I kind of display these things at home like this. And they're my hats of hatred collection. And this is how you become a goddamn man in my family. As you find hats of hatred, you find people filled with hate and you take their pride and their hat. Wow. That is incredible.

This is a bad look. Let's check in with Slender Man first. I'd like to announce that we are taking new submissions for new interns. No, he just got a raise in my book. Yeah, I think that's cool as fuck. Yeah, that's incredible. Donald Trump's actual signature on that hat,

and that's a real Nazi helmet there. That is incredible. Can I see the Nazi helmet? Yeah. Wow, that is incredible. Wow, it smells like matzo balls. That's exactly what I do. My goodness.

So, Brandon, that's an incredible presentation you had. I love it. You got a good set, little fucking show and tell comedy store edition. I thought he was going to show us technology to help the show, and then he just pulled out a Nazi helmet. Red band. Are you wearing a Nazi helmet? Red band.

Okay, Sam, now you can say the word. Thank you so much. There you go. Very good. I'm going to keep this now. I represent. Wow. Well, there you go. Fun times. How about that? Brandon the intern,

ladies and gentlemen. There he goes, fun set That was cool I feel I've got to Run away, I've got to Here we go You know what, let's have some fun right now This is a set that I can Always count on, that I always know is gonna

Go good, we've always had regulars on this show. They're blowing up, all of them. I'm so excited about this one. A very unorthodox style of improvisational extreme stand-up comedy. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you one of my favorite Top Young Rising comedians in the world.

From Memphis, Tennessee, the great and powerful William Montgomery. Here he goes. Here he is. Live in the flesh, William Lights Out Montgomery. I have never stolen that much food from a Kmart before. That is something I said to a police officer two weeks ago before I went to jail. Alexa, play I Work at a Kmart.

And all my coworkers are talking shit and I swear to God if they don't stop, I'm going to come back into this fucking Kmart with an AK-47 and shoot everyone. Hey William, just say hi to people this time That's an impression of my mother

Whenever we're at the grocery store Alexa, play I Work At a Kmart, and I swear to God if my coworkers don't stop talking shit, I'm gonna come up in there with some Speedo goggles and an AK-47 and kill

everyone. Fuck yeah. He did it again. William Montgomery using some of this week's topical subject matter. Too soon? I don't think so. Never.

I don't think so. That's incredible. You're really attacking the news of the week, William. I started watching NBC. I have a distant uncle who has a lot of stock options on that. Let's go NBC. I don't know if y'all are familiar with The Grudge. That's a movie that

NBC sponsored. It's a great horror movie. I find you fucking offensive. Okay? To come on stage in sandals. I don't give a shit about mass shootings, but come on stage at the comedy show. I have hammer toe. You have hammer toe?

I have hammer toe. You have hammer toe? I have hammer toe. What is that? William, can you explain? That's one of the reasons I'm going back up in that Kmart. William, can you explain to us all? I've never heard of hammer toe before. What is that? How does that happen?

Well, it started ten years ago. I was working at the zoo in Memphis, Tennessee. I was working in the aquarium area. Wore aqua socks a bunch. Aqua socks? Aqua socks a bunch. What are those? It's a shoe one can...

Keep going. One wears in a lake or a stream. Aqua socks. Yeah, okay, so you're wearing aqua socks, and then what happened? How do you get a hammer toe? Probably five weeks later, I finally took them off for the first time, and I looked down at my toes, and literally my big toe on my right foot

looked like a hammer. So you kept the aquasox on for five weeks straight i did i didn't know what to do oh my god oh my god those are the shoes with toes see what scares me is if you were working in that k-mart and i had those uzis. I had my Speedo goggles on and you asked me that. I'll be quite frank. I think I would spare you. I would be so horrified. I'd be like, no, these aren't the five fingers. They're aqua socks and I think both of us would laugh and I would just resume down maybe the aisle where the fish are just with my oozy spraying bullets. Wow.

And don't ask what's in my knapsack because it's pipe bombs. Is that true? You have pipe bombs in there? It's pretty true. It's pretty true? It's pretty true? It's pretty true. I looked up a diagram. I love it.

All you do is smash, William. How's life been going? What else has been going on this past week? Been pretty good hanging out with that girl. Oh, yeah. Still doing some acid. Still looking at her in the face. Just thinking, oh, my God, I think I like.

I'll be honest. I've been lonely for ten years. I've only ever had one girlfriend. Met this one young lady. Seems nice. But, yeah, tripping on acid. Just thinking I have to pee. Just in her bedroom, her grandparents

are on the other side of the door. Is that true? It is true. She lives with her grandparents? She does. And that's where you go to hook up with her? You go to the grandparents' house? When you say hook up, I hope y'all realize just sort of a scene

maybe MIA paper planes playing. Her putting on a surgical plastic whether it be plastic whether it be just some sort of plastic material just, yeah, thank you. Just her putting those

on, me taking two squirts of liquid acid. Hold on, William, William. You gotta slow it down. You just said plastic material. Where's she putting the plastic material? She is slowly whispering in my ear saying, William, you... Go ahead. Just do your thing, William.

William, you seem so nice. I'm open to putting one of my fingers around your bottom. And she says that, and I'm tripping, and I look at her, and I get the pistol that I carry in my backpack, and I put it up to her head, and I'm just like, bitch, I swear to God God I'm on fucking edge if you say that shit again Wow William you are quite the artist it

is incredible your style and what you're able to accomplish I did want to say, I looked you all up. You all do the conspiracy theory things. What about the people on that airplane that hit one of the towers in New York? Did that really happen or not? What is the deal with that? Wait, what? What's up with that?

What kind of question is that, William? Planes, what planes? Just one of the planes that hit one of the buildings in New York City. Uh-huh. When did that happen? 1974. Oh, that one you're talking about. Oh, that, okay. I know y'all are taking notes. That is where if you are totally realizing you've made a horrible mistake and they're like, oh, say 1974. Wow.

That acid is ruining your life, William. So you've been having sex with this girl that you found. Sexual intercourse? I'm acid with a gun to her head. Yeah, but you've been putting your wiener inside of her little toot-toot? Her little lady parts? I have not said any name. I'll be very frank.

I'm playing the pull-out game, which I've never done before. What does the pull-out game mean to you? It entails me and her being side-by-side, MIA paper planes blaring. Yeah, blaring. What about the grandparents? They don't mind that song? I'll be very honest. Sort of in the heat of the moment,

I whisper in her ear, and I'll change names here, but I'll change names here, but I'll just be like, hey, I think Scott is listening. Wait, whose name is that? The grandparent? And it scares me, and then I stop, and then I think I've been smoking and drinking too much. My penis is not working how it used to,

and that scares me. How's it working now? Does it have hammer toe? It works. Just me being beside her just sort of fantasizing about being in a Kmart, maybe a couple loosies.

When you hear the same thing twice, that means that the interview's over. Ladies and gentlemen, once again, the great William Montgomery. You know, if I was starting stand-up comedy now, I would fucking hate that guy. Yeah, for sure. He would infuriate me. Just the way he just fucking improvises and gets laughs.

I would like to watch him fuck. Tony, I want to... You should see the comments that I read on this guy. Like, it's like, he doesn't even do jokes like these idiots. It's like, well, just kill then, you fucking idiot. Kill every week. Good luck. Tony, I wanted to know if his dick worked like a Mexican or a Guatemalan.

I don't know about that. I wonder if he uses a condom or an aqua sock. I bet you his dick looks like a hammer toe. I said that 45 seconds ago, Sam. You did? Just proof again that you're not paying attention. You're just thinking of what you're going to say next. It's called a callback.

You guys think we should go back to the bucket one more time, huh? Been stirring it up. Slender Man? Yeah, I bet William's dick looks like a hammer toe. Oh. That's a good one. I wish I would have thought of that. And it parties a lot.

Just picture M.I.E. paper planes playing in the background, and I make Keymart shooting again. All right. This looks like an interesting name. Make some noise for Brandon Beterstad. Brandon Beterstad. Here he is. Here he comes, Tony. Hey.

Come on. It's Brandon Betererstadt, everybody! Hey! Woo! I'm excited to be here. I'm having a pretty good day. Yesterday I got a haircut. Give it up. Yeah? Have you guys, uh, have you ever gotten a haircut and realized your face was the problem? Yeah, I'm Brandon. I'm 26. I'm from Iowa. In Iowa, this is what 26-year-olds look like.

In L.A., people think I'm 33. Black don't crack, but white just might. I blame my mom for me looking like this. I think she made me an alcoholic. Like, when I was younger, she had one of those cool cars,

like a futuristic car. Like, my dad had a Lincoln with heated seats, but my mom had one of those cars that you didn't even need a key to start. You could just use your breath. No, it was cool, because sometimes she would let me start it. Fuck yeah, Brandon Biederstadt.

That's how you do it. Very fun. How long have you been doing stand-up comedy? I'm at a year and a half. Year and a half. How long have you been in Los Angeles? Four years. Four years.

You say that and you rolled your eyes there. Well, you'd think I would have started when I moved out here, but I moved out here for TV writing and thought that this might be... I don't think there's anything wrong with starting then. You started at 22, right? No. I'm 26, so I started at 25-ish. That's still not that bad, though.

Oh, that's right. I got the math wrong there. That's right. You've been doing it for a year and a half. You've been here for four years. You thought I was 22, so I started at 25-ish. That's still not that bad at all. Oh, that's right. I got the math wrong there. That's right. You've been doing it for a year and a half. You've been here for four years. You thought I was 22, though? No, when you started. Yeah, okay.

I got the answers confused. A year and a half, four years. I thought you started four years. I got it mixed up. Gotcha. So what made you finally start? What was the thing that finally pushed you to begin? I did a stand-up class.

I just realized that some – I always wanted to do it, but I realized – You took the class? You look more like a stand-up teacher. That's what they all look like. My teacher was younger than me, so that, like, really hurt. Wow. Who's taking stand-up lessons from a 23-year-old? It was a lie.

No, I moved out here. I figured a class would just kick my ass, make me do it. Right, right. So how do you make a living? I am a production assistant at College Humor. Oh, very cool. How are you working over there? I love it.

I'm proud of it. I think that it has some upward mobility for me, so who knows? Ooh, upward mobility. My goodness. What is this, one of those wheelchairs on a staircase? Upward mobility. So fun. My goodness.

So Iowa, what was that like? Small town? Yeah, 12,000. The home of Maytag washers and dryers. We're very proud of it. No fucking way. Oh, my God. I like clean clothes.

I'm sorry. Okay. Okie dokie. Who are your favorite comics? Oh, I like Dimitri Martin. I like... Oh, is that Dimitri Martin back there? Look at that.

Just one person clapped at that. They finally invited him to the comedy store. Nothing better than... I love easel boards in my stand-up. There's nothing better than... Wow, what's he going to tear away next? My goodness. I see a cluster fest in your future.

You have a girlfriend? You're getting laid? What's going on? Dude, right now I am dating the hottest girl I have ever... Tinder? She's Peruvian. I met her on Tinder. You met her on Tinder?

She speaks only half English. We do a Spanglish thing going on. How long have you been dating her? Two dates. What did you do on the first date? Good question. We go dancing. El compadre?

Show me your dance moves. You know how to dance with a Peruvian? She thinks I do. It's all about like... The green card. So, let me get this straight. I was gonna say the hips. How far did you get the first date?

How far did you get? We won't tell nobody. She let me grab her chimichangas and... Wow. And I... Look at that. You didn't close the deal that first night? How far did you get? We won't tell nobody. She let me grab her chimichangas. Wow. You didn't close the deal that first night? But you couldn't get near that quesadilla. Did you try and she turned you away? Or did you play it cool? You played it cool.

I played it cool, dude. That's the only way to be with chicks who are way hotter than you. Second date, you get some? No. No. Nothing at all, huh? Damn. Second date, you get some? No. Nothing at all, huh? Chimichangas again, yeah. Chimichangas.

Maybe you should stop calling them chimichangas and she might fuck you, you idiot. What? Thanks for... I mean, that's crazy that you called them that. Have you ever called them that in front of her? Like, thanks for letting me touch your chimichangas. No, we do not understand each other virtually at all. Dancing is

like... So you really... So let me get this straight. You went out on a first date. Did you guys plan to go dancing before the first date? Over, like, Tinder? You're like, hey, you want to go out? And she's like, yeah, would you like to go dancing sometime? It was her idea, yeah. The second that we put on music, I learned... Okay, so we gotta get right to it.

I'm not gonna lie to you. We definitely have to see some of these dance moves. So here we go. You're out with a hot Peruvian. Her chimichangas are hanging out. Wow. This is incredible.

Oh my God. Wow. Wow. Oh, my God. Touches Ch Chonga Joel knows how to play a Peruvian chick really well What is going on there? Oh my god

I'm sorry, my head hit the speaker And I don't know what's going on The lights The lights just came back on And the patch of people that I was looking at. All of their hands over their faces like this. Your dance moves make me think that you order Taco Bell in Spanish when you go there. Claro, claro.

While you're dancing with her, are you erect? How hard were you? Just as hard as I am. Are you a soft taco or a hard taco? Does she let you touch her hips? Does she let you touch, like you hold her hips? She likes me. This is weird for you guys.

She's grinding on your shit. Yeah, mamacita's into it. And you're not closing the deal yet? Yeah. Third date. Give me a second. Dude, it's 2019. Yeah, Mamacita's into it And you're not closing the deal yet? Yeah Third date, give me a second Dude, it's 2019 She grinded her ass in Peru You should already have chlamydia by now

Or vaginal parasites Chlamydia's her sister's name So Is there chlamydia right here? How do these nights end? If you're not closing, do you end up dropping her off? Is that what goes on? You have a car.

What goes on here? Tell us about the end of the night. So we'll go out until like 2 in the morning. Wow. You should be fucking. Welcome to another episode of You Should Be Pregnant by now, dude. It's like, you know, it's a good time to go. Yeah, and then what happens?

Then we go back to my shitty house. Yeah. This is what happens with white guys white guys watch romantic comedies and they're like girls want flowers and talks why everybody else is power fucking okay all right stop with the running through the airport with flowers okay okay get to it all right so Then what happens? You're not a closer. We go back to my house and... You're not in your house? Let him go, Sam.

We usually dance for another two hours. Are you guys drinking? Are you guys drinking at all? You guys are drinking and dancing and there's no fucking... You guys stop right now. Everybody shut the fuck up right now. Hold on a second. I'm fucking pissed. Everybody shut the fuck up right now. Hold on a second.

I'm getting fucking pissed. I'm furious. I'm furious. I've never been more mad at a girl. You take her back to your place and you dance until 4 a.m. using physical energy, you fucking pussy. What the fuck? Stop watching Jennifer Aniston movies.

I don't know if they taught you at that comedy class how to be like Louis C.K., my friend, but you need to just, when you get back to your place, you need to pull your fucking dick out, bro. You really need to do dirty dancing. It's legal. It's legal in your own residence. You know that? It's legal. You can just pull it out. You need to stop.

Hey, whoa, I like that. Welcome to another episode. We're playing by Peruvian rules here, okay? I feel like that's a conspiracy theory that needs to be checked out. Wow. Makes sense. Fun facts of consent with Eddie Bravo. I see a spinoff show here.

If you get her back to your place, it's basically game on. You just have to have the door unlocked. Rape, not if she walked in. She broke in, officer. I think you accidentally gave one of the funniest answers to any question in the history of this show. You go back to your place after dancing until 2 a.m., and you dance for two more hours.

This has been both dates? This is how both dates end? Dos mas horas, yeah, see. We got it both times. It's the only thing she really likes about me. Hold on, hold on. I got to ask a question. Do you think if you try to fuck her,

it's like disrespectful? Like you're being a male pig? Like, oh, I'm such a chauvinist pig. She's letting me grab her chimichangas yeah oh my god give me i feel like this is the movie big and you're an 11 year old trapped in the body of a 26 year old that looks like a 45 year old and you're like i'm just happy grabbing boobies when was the last time you had sex be Be honest. That's a year. That's at least a year. It's a good question.

How long has it been since your last time? Come on. Tell us. How long? Early July. Fuck off. Early July. Early July.

That's a long time. My goodness. Fourth of July? On ecstasy? I don't remember exactly. I don't remember exactly. You don't remember exactly? What happened with that monster? I was having more sex back then.

What did she look like? It wasn't quite the issue. It's not like July was back in the day or something. That was back when I pulled in Poon. But here we are now Wait And I can't even pronounce You chose now to say the word poon

No It's so weird After you've been saying chimichangas forever Well, chimichangas are the boobs, right? Yeah, those are different things What do you call the Peruvians' vagina? Chalup What are we talking about? Wet burrito?

Panocha An uncircumcised penis is a corndog where I come from. She let me into her empanada. What are you gonna say? What are you gonna do? Oh my god. Wow. So Brandon, what's gonna be your approach on this next one?

We all think that you need to fucking close, dude. I thought we were going dancing before this conversation. It is true. You go dancing, but then when you take her back to your place... You don't dance more. Don't dance anymore. Stick a finger in her, dude. Whoa, Jesus Christ.

Eat her butt, dude. I would start by maybe giving her a kiss before throwing the finger in her. That's the difference between Red Band and I. He says, hey, come here. What are you doing? It's in your house. It's legal. Red Band. Trash can.

Trash can. Trash can. My goodness gracious. Brandon, I'll tell you what, dude. Do you guys have plans to go out again? Yes, we do. This weekend. You have to fuck her.

When you get back to your place, after you go dancing for hours and hours, I want you to think about me, Eddie, Sam, and Brian. All right? I want you to think about us. And Slenderman. Long and hard. Bloody Mary. Slenderman, Bloody Mary, and the Gorton's Fisherman.

I want you to think of all of us screaming at you. Fuck her, dude. All right? The next time I'm on this show, I will tell you about the conquest. I cannot wait. You've got to raw dog it, dude. Yep. No condoms, bro. No condoms.

No condoms. Uncut, raw, Peruvian style. Let's do this shit. That's right. That's right. You've had enough salsa, enough chimichangas. It's time to move on to the main fucking course, bro. Thanks for having me, guys. That's right. You've had enough salsa, enough chimichangas. It's time to move on to the main fucking course, bro.

Thanks for having me, guys. There he goes. Brandon Biederstadt. We did it again. Did you guys have fun tonight? Look at this drawing from Ryan Shea-Ebelt. He drew that while you were all sitting there doing nothing. Show them. Look at that. Incredible. RyanSheaEbelt.com for all while you were all sitting there doing nothing. Show them. Look at that. Incredible. RyanJEBelt.com

for all the prints, the books, the posters. How loud can this place get for Eddie Bravo and Sam Tripoli, huh? Wow. Very, very, very, I mean, this is immediately one of my favorite episodes ever. All of our energies clank together like

crazy. We had a great bucket of destiny tonight. You guys brought that fun fucking energy. Tinfoil hat, comedy chaos, all of it. Tinfoil hats are live. Indie, St. Louis, Bakersfield, San Francisco at Cobbs, Portland. A lot of great things coming up. Tinfoil live. Listen to the podcast.

Available everywhere. Listen to Punch Drunk Sports. Love that podcast. I love you, Tony Hinchcliffe. Check out 10 planet jujitsu everything eddie bravo uh welcome to the show you're part of its history now we can't wait to have you guys back thank you i love you red band how about a hand for the great and powerful jeremiah watkins slenderman jeremiah's got jeremiah wonders a new episode out now with Danish and O'Neal. He's at YouTube at Jeremiah Watkins.

He's on social media at Jeremiah Stand Up. Anything else, Jeremiah? Thank you to everybody coming out to support us on the road. We love you guys. Yeah, indeed. A lot of fun road shows. Jeremiah is going to be featuring for me all weekend in Miami. We have a big weekend coming up.

Five shows at the Miami Improv. We're going to be on the beach all weekend getting suntans. Come see Stand Up On The Spot every second Tuesday of the month in the Belly Room. It always sells out. There you go. Chroma Chris was here tonight, the Gorton's Fisherman. Chroma, what did you think about tonight's episode?

You were very silent tonight. I was hooked, Tony. One for one. Chroma Chris. Also, shout out to Ernie Ball. Thank you. Ernie Ball Guitar Strings, the newest sponsor of the Kill Tony Band, as well as Ludwig and their very own client. Come on, one big

burst of energy for Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez. Wow. Joel Berg's on social media, mostly sorry. Unbelievable episode tonight. Anything else, Joel? I love you guys. I'll be at the Ontario Improv August 8th. There you go, August 8th.

See him there if you're anywhere near Ontario. Live audience, thank you guys so much. Every single Monday you guys come out. It's crazy. Next week, Big Jay Oakerson, one of our favorite people ever, on Back to Back Weeks. It's for the first time ever. The guest will be the same two Mondays in a row. Our favorite, one of our favorite human beings, our favorite New Yorker. I mean,

he's truly like a big brother to me. And, you know, they lost someone great, the owner of the stand this past week and Big Jay Oakerson's manager, Dave Kimowitz, was brutally murdered in his house. It's really crazy. Anyway, so Big J, we're going to have a lot of fun next week. Help him get his mind off it in the week after that. We're very excited to have him

and hopefully we'll see you guys again soon. Thank you, live audience. Thanks, guys. Bye, everybody.