KILL TONY - KILL TONY #402

Episode Date: October 22, 2019

KILL TONY MANIA, David Lucas, William Montgomery, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 10/18/2019 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Kudo. Conditions apply. Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, DeathSquad.TV. There you have every episode of Kill Tony, including past episodes, video portions to the show. And if you click on Tour Dates, you can come see us live. We are this week going to be in Australia, October 25th, Brisbane, October 26th, Melbourne, October 27th, Sydney.

And then November 7th, we are in Washington, D.C. We added a second show because the first show sold out. So check us out in Washington, D.C., November 7th. December 12th, we're going to be in our hometown, Columbus, Ohio, at the Newport Music Hall. December 14th, we're going to be in Pittsburgh. December 15th, in Cleveland. So go to Death Squad and click on tour dates For all the up-to-date information and ticket links

Tony Hinchcliffe has his own website TonyHinchcliffe.com There he has his stand-up shows and a bunch of merch Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com Ryan J. Ebelt, he's the house artist He has a brand new Kill Tony book shipping now So go to RyanJEbelt.com And last but not least, ShopSquad.tv Brand new Kill Tony book shipping now. So go to ryanjebelt.com.

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And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Redman coming to you live from Cal-Tony Mania. At Cops, Cops, and Cops, it's San Francisco, California. Give it up for Tony Hitchclap. San Francisco, this is Cal-Tony Mania. Come on, guys. You got to get louder than that. I brought a bunch of fucking special treats for you. I don't know. I guess I just thought it You got to get louder than that. I brought a bunch of fucking special treats for you. I don't know. I guess I just thought it was going to get louder.

Maybe the infinite CBD is getting to your skull. Maybe you're a little bit too relaxed here. How about a hand for the great Brian Redman, everybody? Hi! How about a hand for your house artist right over there from Los Angeles, California, Ryan J. Ebel. Woo-wee! It's been a year. It's been a long time.

We shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to. This is episode 402 of Kill Tony. How many of you were at Kill Tony Mania last year for episodes 299 and 300? Well, we've done 100 episodes since then. Wow, that's insane. One year. It is unbelievable. We are the number one live podcast in the world. We have surpassed

other live podcasts by tens and tens of live podcasts. So here we are. We're deep. 402. So deep. I'm so excited about this. I feel like a lot of you in the audience are very nervous. Perhaps it's because you signed up. Perhaps it's because your expectations are sky high right now.

Perhaps you're expecting Louis C.K. to come in here and masturbate on you or something like that. But anything can happen. I'm very excited that you're all here. Red Band, can you believe it? 100 episodes since the last time we were here. And we have a better sound system this year, it sounds like. Unbelievable. Lots of upgrades.

Thanks to our people here at Live Nation, at the beautiful Cobbs Comedy Club. This is very exciting stuff. We've been on the road a lot, obviously, since then. That's insane how many episodes we've done, and the fun just keeps happening. All these shows have sold out. Kill Tony Mania has sold out San Francisco

and we cannot tell you how much we love you. Thank you very much. It's why we do it here. It's why it started here. It all started here in San Francisco. Then we go on the road. This Wednesday, we fly out to Australia. We're going to Brisbane for Friday shows.

Melbourne Saturday and Sydney on Sunday. Washington D.C. November 7th with another show just added to that plus four stand-up shows and we just announced Columbus, Ohio in December. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and Cleveland, Ohio. The Rex Theater, the House of

Blues and Newport Music Hall in Columbus, Ohio in December and Calgary Music Hall in Columbus, Ohio in December, and Calgary, Canada in January. This is so exciting. You know, if you could bet on a podcast, I would say bet on us here at Kill Tony because we have the best fans in the world, people that get it, a real live show. It's exciting.

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You guys ready to start this episode or what? San Francisco, I'm sorry. I think you guys might be able to do better than that. Again, I'm just not really feeling it up here. Maybe it's the air conditioning. I don't know. Something feels a little bit wibbly wobbly to me. Well, then let's fucking do it.

As you guys may or may not know, Kill Tony Mania runs a little bit differently than every other show we do everywhere around the world per year in the way that we actually log a bunch of special guests all the way from Los Angeles with us. We have friends that took another

car load today that made it up here in a luxury vehicle. So we're going to see who and what. And some are split between this show and some are split between the second show. And after they do 60 Seconds Uninterrupted, a brand new minute that you've never seen them do before, they join Brian and I over here on the panel and become guests, a lot of them for their first time ever being a guest on Kill Tony. So you get to literally watch them jump up

a level right in front of you. Get it? Awesome. This is very exciting. As you guys know, however, even though we're starting with no guests, we do have a band on this show. Every single episode, they commit to being different characters.

Sometimes it's the return of one of our favorite characters. Sometimes it's a brand new character. They're all my funniest friends in the world. They fucking crack me up every single time we do one of these shows. Let's all find out what they are together. They had a separate green room than us. We're all gonna find out at the same time. Ladies and gentlemen,

I present to you the best damn band in the land. It's the Kill Tony Band. Jeremiah Watkins, Chroma Chris, and Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez. Whoa! Cat burglars are back! No doubt about it. I know the cat burglars when I see them.

Absolutely. He is high stepping his way to his stool. This is very excited. Some of the most famous Kill Tony characters of all time. Cat burglar, how you doing, man? Bonjour. I always forget how French you are.

Very French. My goodness. Well, welcome to Kill Tony Mania. What is your name again? Cat Burglar. All right, that's right. How could I forget? You are Cat Burglar.

And there next to you, we have Chroma Chris. And what's your name? I can't tell you that. Oh, okay. Very good. And then clearly back here we have a guy that is going to try to sneak over the border from you know where. There's a lot of brown underneath that mask. How are you, sir? I'm doing well.

Oh, wow. You're just a normal guy with a normal voice. I've been doing this for such a long time, you know. It's good to be here. All right. Very good. So we have the band, the Cat Burglars, some of our favorites of all time. We have the band.

We have Brian's soundboard, which brings me to this right here, the Bucket of Destiny, everybody. It's the real deal. This is the real thing from Los Angeles, California. I made it all the way back here. It's filled with people's names. You never know what can happen. Sometimes it's someone's first time. Sometimes it's a fucking comedy

vet that we fall in love with. And they just get to showcase their talents. We find out more about you after your time is up. You get 60 seconds uninterrupted. You know your time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. That means wrap it up then or else you're gonna bring out

the angry Castro District Bear. That's it. The only way to get to the stage is right here up this staircase and right to that microphone. This is it. You guys ready to start the show? Am I losing my mind? did they raise the ceiling in this place I'm are you guys ready to start kill Tony mania like it's like it doesn't feel it's a very indica crowd I guess I guess how many of you bought tickets for both shows by the way tonight all right okay maybe you guys aren't saving your energy for the second show.

Not a huge cross over there. By the way, a fun fact. If you got tickets for both shows, don't go to the meet and greet signing and picture taking at this show. Come to this after the second show because we have to, if we want to get a full show in here, we have to turn over the room and do a second show after this. Cool? You guys ready to start? This is it. I'm serious.

Alright. Well, why don't we start with a special treat then? Instead of going to the bucket first, how about I bring out a comedian who you've seen many times before on this show, including last year. I present to you, to get Kill Tony Mania started, the great Mikey McKernan!

Wow! Here he is. San Francisco, what's up? It's really great to be here. I'm growing my mustache out right now until I get my teeth fixed. And that sucks because I got a deaf friend who doesn't want to hang out with me because he can't read my lips. It's a silent one because he can't hear. Some of you might not believe me, but my career has been picking up.

Thank you. I just headlined a hair salon. Called it hairlining. It was a good show. Then the audience started receding. Learned what a stoner's favorite hairdo was. Smoke a bowl cut. Boo.

Ah. Ah. Just got a second job running the social media at a Buddhist temple. Pretty chill. Thank you. Mikey McKernan, ladies and gentlemen. Mikey was on Kill Tony Mania last year. He's back again.

Mikey, welcome back. You are known as the Boo-Ha Comedian. Thank you. Famous for your line, Boo-Ha. Yeah, I have to do it forever. For those of you that don't know, Mikey, very funny comedian, been doing this show for years, works at Bubba Gum Shrimp Company and looks like Bubba Gum Shrimp Company at the same time. How's that been going for you, Mikey?

Oh, I hate it. I have to work tomorrow at 12.30. I'm still waiting for someone to pick up my shift. Wait, what? Tomorrow in Los Angeles? Yeah, I'm probably going to wake up at 5 in the morning and hit the road. Whoa.

Jesus. Good God, you are a real hustler. But we got the show started, so why don't you put that mic stand up here and join the panel, everybody. Mikey McKernan, your first guest on Kill Tony tonight. Mikey, welcome back. Thank you. This is like being on the couch on Johnny Carson

if it was a podcast. This fucking rules. With a super mellow, not television studio audience. All right. You guys ready to go to the bucket for the first time tonight? Let's fucking go. It's the meat and potatoes

of the show where truly anything can happen. And your first comedian getting an uninterrupted 60 seconds tonight goes by the name of Ron Kunz. Or Kunz? K-U-N-Z-E. Ron Kunz. Here he comes, everybody. Oh, hell yeah.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Welcome to Kill Tony Mania. This is Ron Kunz. This is my first time here, and this is actually the first time I've ever heard of this show, so crazy to be here. So my name's Ron Kunz. I live here in San Francisco, and I'm a single guy. I wanted to talk about dating here in San Francisco. It's really tough. A lot of wackos here, and I've been dating for the last 30 years,

and I've got a lot of turn-offs, and that's probably one of my big problems. But I wanted to talk about these two sites, Tinder and Bumble. So I've had a lot of bad luck on these sites, and I can probably share some ideas why. I've got a lot of turn-offs. So the first one is I hate it when chicks have yoga pics or say they like yoga. For me, it's a real turn-off. Anybody here agree? Yoga. I hate that.

I really hate when they have those fake mustaches on their faces, those little pastes on. I really hate that. One of my other real things that really pisses me off is when there's Machu Picchu photos. Hey, I like Machu Picchu, I'm an archaeologist, but I hate that selfie when they're looking over Machu Picchu in the background. I mean, what a turn off. So, I mean, I can't...

Ron Coons everybody fuck yes abso-fucking-lutely welcome to the show I didn't get to vegans I didn't get to muffra let me guess real turn offs right fuck yeah

welcome to the fucking show I love your style I loved you as half the characters on Chernobyl Fuck yeah. Welcome to the fucking show. I love your style. I loved you as half the characters on Chernobyl. This is very exciting. This is really your first time ever? Ever on stage. Ever, you know,

when I watch this show about a few minutes. You've never seen the show? Kevin Burns, I'm gonna kill you, motherfucker. Why would you kill Kevin? He put me up to this. Really? But you wanted to do it. Not really, no. But would you kill Kevin? He put me up to this. Really? But you wanted to do it. I mean, you knew that. Not really, no. But when you say not really, like, but you knew that he put your name in.

No, I really didn't know that. So when you say you didn't know that, what do you mean you didn't know that? I mean, I went here and he said you committed this and I said no, I did not because I would never commit to this. When did he say you commit to this? Five minutes in line for about five minutes. In line for about five minutes.

So then, did he write your name down, or did you? I did. So you knew what the fuck you were getting into, Ron. God damn it. It drives me crazy when I meet a guy twice my age and he acts like a giant pussy. Come on, Ron. Yeah, that was pretty rehearsed one minute.

Partially. Partially. I partially would have said it. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure. I think we're figuring out why you're single here, Ron. You can't really fucking... I need you to fucking unbutton that fucking goddamn Undertaker jacket you got on

and relax a little bit. So, Ron, this is true. You're single. It's your first time ever performing. You don't ever do anything on a stage before? Just presenting in technology presentations. That's about it. Oh my god.

Fuck yeah. I bet you have the biggest cock in this room right now. That's what I think. I bet you have a giant meat stick. Am I right? Yeah, you're right. Hey! Look at that. That's what it took to wake up this audience.

They just wanted to know about your fucking elk horn. You know what I'm talking about? I'm just going to communicate with the staff here. Whatever's going on with this air conditioner, it's fucking out of control. I am sort of starting to remember this from last year. But wherever it aims, it's on me. Turn it the fuck off. I'd rather this turn into a sauna

than to have to hold every piece of paper on this table down all night. Is my hair blown away? Kyle, are you hearing me? Thank you. Did you hear him? He hates that. Yes.

Oh, I get it. Thank you. An audience member had to help me. Thank you. One person remembers this guy's set. Very good. Very good listening audience. Way to go. He hates lots of things. He hates that.

He hates that comic. There you go. All right. So, Ron, this is your first time performing. Is this all true that you hate all that? What's the last actual date you went on? I did a lot. Like like last night date rape does not count my friend hey so last night where'd you meet that girl at uh actually i ended up at a bar what was your uh pickup line what was the first thing you said to her i usually go for the you

know the nice compliments i i complimented her on her looks. Yeah, what did you say exactly? She said I liked her hair. You just went up to her and go, I like your hair. Nice tits, I'm an archaeologist. I hate fake mustaches. She was walking by me, but pretty much, yeah. Ooh, she was walking by you, just throwing circles around you, huh? And then you're like, nice hair.

And then what'd she say? Hello. And then her name, she introduced herself. She's like, oh my God, are you bloated Sean Connery? Kyle, it feels like the air conditioner is blowing harder than it was 30 seconds ago. I don't know what the fuck is happening here, but it's something that we need to fix for sure immediately and ASAP. I repeat, nothing has changed.

The problem has gotten worse. I could hold an umbrella over him if you want. There you fucking go. You did it. How about a hand for the staff here at We Are Alive at Cobb's Comedy Club. Wait. Hey, no. Ron, get your ass back there. I'm not done with you. That applause was for the air conditioner, not you.

He's like, finally, I'm killing. I don't know what I'm doing. So, Ron, you said you give out tech awards and whatnot. What do you do for work exactly? Technology sales. Technology sales. Hell yeah. You are a suave motherfucker. Are you pretty successful?

Yes. He looks like the man that invented leather. You have a big house, Ron? No, I rent. What part of town do you live in? Soma, south of the market. Wow. Is that a fancy part of town?

Not a lot of people. Not really. Wow, you just got called poor by this audience. Their lack of enthusiasm was like, not really. Compared to this audience, I am poor, though. Why do you say that? What does that mean?

There's a lot of rich people here in the Bay Area. Oh, okay. Very good. I do believe that the guys from Alcatraz used your coat as a raft to escape. I believe they inflated it at one point. You ever been to Alcatraz? No. You ever gotten in trouble with the law?

Yes. Of course. Of course. Uh-huh. That was Ron saying of course. What happened to you? What happened to you when you got in trouble with the law? What did you get in trouble for?

There's been numerous times, but I prefer not to talk about it. I smelled a woman's hair once. Come on. If you give us one good vulnerable thing about you or your past or your history, maybe we'll let you go. Maybe we'll get you out of here. But if you keep... Hold on. Let's check in with Chroma Chris over there. No, I was going to say they

fixed the AC, but this guy's still blowing. Oh! Chroma Chris. The only person on this stage that doesn't do stand-up comedy just got the first room-filled applause break. He said you you blowed.

That's all it took. Tell us something about yourself that you might not want us all to know. Must be something. Like one time you did something crazy. It was fucking wild. You can't believe you did that. That was regretful.

I got a mariachi band so drunk on Jägermeister they could not play after 30 minutes. That sounds pretty fucking awesome. How'd you get them drunk on Jägermeister? Did you tell them it was, what, tequila? They were new

to it, but it was in a small place in Mexico, so they were kind of new to Jäger. Okay. Ron, I want you to of new to Jaeger. Okay. Ron, I want you to read me books to sleep at night. Do you remember your first screen name, like AOL's screen name? Yeah, what was it? Royale. Wow.

All right. Very good. No numbers or anything. You were one of the first people there. You were just the original Royale. Pretty much, yeah. Well, Ron, you're an interesting guy, I guess. A way to start the show off,

shout out to your friend who forced you to sign up, even though... JB, Kevin Burns, you are dead. Wow. And I believe him. He has nothing to lose. He might actually kill you. Period. Let's go to Ron Coons, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, Ron.

Thank you, Ron. We love you. Hope you get a second date. Smooth guy. The cat burgers look like they have their other costumes in those bags. What? Nothing. Okay.

And we are off and running. This is, oh, wow. This actually, this part has two names on it. This part wasn't cut down the middle. That's interesting. So let's just see what happens here. We won't do them at the same time, but I guess we'll just go one and then the other first comedian let's do Giovanni

Nasser here he comes Giovanni Nasser ladies and gentlemen one more time for Giovanni okay hello I am Gio One more time for Giovanni. Okay, hello. I am Gio. So I work in Palo Alto, and I was driving today. I didn't write this.

This is natural life. So I watched this lady next to me at a red light, and she had a dreamcatcher hanging from her rearview mirror. And I don't think you should have a dreamcatcher in your car, right? No dreams, right? No sleeping? So, yeah, okay. Anyway, yeah. Okay, so last year I had an ayahuasca trip.

It was super ceremonial. Everyone's crying, throwing up, you know, all that stuff. And the shaman's playing fucking music. He's playing all the instruments, all the instruments. And he's getting into, like, bone thugs, you know, all that stuff. And you're not supposed to talk about your ayahuasca trips. It's personal, you know? So I'm telling all of you right now.

Or not. Woo! Oh, wowie, yowie, wowie. Giovanni Nasser. My God. Didn't think it could get worse than the first comedian. Did your friend force you to sign up, too?

No. That was by choice, huh? Yes. You thought of that dream catcher thing on the way here? I did. Yeah. I like that joke. If you're awake and driving, why would you have a dream catcher on something like that? I had a lot written down

but like everyone else, you forget when you get up here. Yeah? Do you remember any of it now? No. Oh, there you go. All right. Well, Giovanni, welcome to the show. You know how it works, right? Yes.

Okay, very good. So that's your first time doing stand-up comedy? Yes, it is. Congratulations to you. Congratulations. It takes balls to sign up for it. Clearly it doesn't take jokes, but it takes balls. So Giovanni, how old are you? I'm 30.

30 years old. What do you do? I'm an artist. You are an artist. Let's check in with the cat burglars. Yes, your muscular definition is more than what your confidence level shows. Yeah. You have the body of a strong man in the face of a weak man.

You look like the final boss in a hipster video game. What type of artists are you? VFX, 3D, film, video games. Oh, cool. You make anything we might recognize or know of? No. Okay. You pretty good we might recognize or know of? No. Oh, okay.

You pretty good at what you do? Yeah. How long have you been doing it for? Like five years. Hell yeah, absolutely. And your love life, what's that like? You got your own little fucking Lisa Simpson out there that you're banging or something like that?

No, I just recently broke up with my girlfriend. Oh, yeah? Why'd you break up? She sucks. Why does she suck? She's, um, she, honestly, she's not bad. I was pretty bad. Hey, look at me, look at me, look at me. Shut the fuck up. Yeah, you suck. was pretty bad Hey look at me

Shut the fuck up Yeah you suck Look at me You tell us why she fucking sucks Don't go changing your fucking story You're on the dark side of the moon now brother You're in too deep You wanna fucking sign up and do your little dream catcher

And then go No we wanna know fucking truth about your goddamn life. Okay, so I guess I mean, I just want to put my art first, so I didn't have like... She left you because you don't have money. Yeah, I have holes in my shirt, so

as you can see. I just felt like I was putting too much time in the relationship. That sounds horrible, but I wasn't doing my artwork, so I felt... So you liked her so much, right? That you ended up spending so much time with her that you weren't doing

the art that you wanted to do. We don't recognize anything that you've done. But instead of... It's a process. Were you guys getting along? Oh, yeah. Very well.

We still talk. Right. She loves you a lot? Yes, she does. You think that you broke her heart a little bit? I did, yes. You did. How recently did this happen?

My birthday. It's in July. Sorry. In July. You did it as a birthday gift to yourself? Happy birthday, bye bitch. Did you do it on your... Au revoir.

You did it on your birthday? No, she actually woke me up. She caught me with a bunch of apps on my phone. What do you mean, apps on your phone? Dating apps. Like dating apps, yeah. Trying to find a way out. Yeah.

She woke you up. Yeah, she woke me up at like 2 in the morning and then she's like, what are these? She's like, what is plentyofmanbun.com? Cat Butler. So she waited for your birthday to go through your phone?

Yes, but I planted those apps. What do you mean you planted those apps? What the fuck is wrong with you? At any point, Giovanni, if you just want to finish a fucking sentence. Like, have you ever seen an interview before, Giovanni? I have. No, no, actually, I just listened to you guys. I feel like I'm living a nightmare.

Does anybody have a dream catcher? Very good. Jeremiah Watkins. So, Giovanni, you planted the apps on your phone so that she would find them, so that she would be mad at you, so that you could break up with her?

Yes. Okay, I tried the person. Yeah, I tried to break up with her a year ago, and she's... Yeah, and I don't feel like... And you almost said something of some fucking substance there for a second. You were so fucking close to having our first half-decent interview segment of the fucking night, and then you backed out again. Okay.

Okay, so I tried to break up with her. What the you backed out again. Okay, so I tried to break up with her. What the fuck is going on over there, bro? I've never seen anything like this. You don't seem like you have any... What's going on? It's me and you. Pretend like we're just two guys talking in a room.

Can I turn around and look at you in the eyes? Nope. That's not real. I need to look at you. Look into Cat Berglund's eyes and tell me everything. around and look at you in the eyes? Nope. That's not real. That's not real. I need to look at you. That's not real. Look into Kat Berglund's eyes and tell me everything. What do you want to know? Just listen to what

I'm asking you. Okay, go. Oh my fucking god. Talk. Talk. Okay. So, here we go. She, you tried to break up with her a year ago, but she what? She tried to hurt herself. Oh, okay, you're right.

Let's not talk about it. Let's keep it moving along. I'm going to get you out of here. We got a lot of people to get through in so little time. There goes Giovanni Nassar. Good job, Giovanni. You tried your best. Wow.

It would be my worst, but it's your best. All right. And remember, these names, this piece of paper on this name, for some reason didn't get cut down the middle. So I'm just going to read this other name because that could be what the destiny brought to the top. Let's see what happens here. Put your hands together for Leroy Abweeg.

Leroy Abweeg. Crowd goes wild. Leroy Abweeg. Let's see what happens here. Here he is. Here he comes, everybody. Leroy Abweeg. To carry you home.

One more time for Leroy Abouid. I know you guys would probably be surprised because you were probably expecting a Leroy. probably be expecting a Leroy. But y'all, I got a Leroy instead. It's a bait-and-switch situation. I got that a lot growing up, though.

People used to always ask my mom, like, wait, you named your kid Leroy? So does that mean that your husband's black and she used to always be like no but my mailman is which is a solid ass joke like mom you should come to kill tony and fucking rip it as as a comedian i respect it as a child i didn't like that shit so much. So unattractive. That was a weird thing to say. No, but I didn't like it so much because it was too real for me. My mailman was black. His name's Craig. Very confusing when he used to deliver the mail and everything. And I didn't know the words to confront him on it. So what I used to do instead was buy baseballs off of Amazon

and make them throw me the package. Wow. It was a hashtag life hack. Wow. That was great. Leroy Abouid. Unbelievable. And that is how it's done. Thank you. My god.

Thank Jesus. Thank you. I'm gonna kill you, Kevin. I done. Thank you. My God. Thank Jesus. Thank you. I'm going to kill you, Kevin. I'm going to kill you. You're so cool, Leroy. How long have you been doing stand-up? For like seven years now. Seven fucking years.

Boy, what a difference some experience and goddamn confidence and goddamn professionalism makes. Incredible. That is the difference between seven years and two first timers. Incredible, dude. Amazing stuff. You do it all here in San Francisco?

Yes. I used to go down to LA. I lived in Miami for a little bit, but I'm back in the Bay. I don't really travel that much. I can tell you've been to Miami. You still have the tan. Thank you. Thank you that much. I can tell you've been to Miami. You still have the tan. Thank you. Thank you. What type of Asian are you?

I am Filipino. Right, 100%? Yes. That's so cool. What do your parents do? My dad's a cable car driver, and my mom is in insurance. Wow, cable car driver. What are those people, like, really?

Is there something in particular? Like, what does he do, just hit start and stop? I never understood it. He, like, pulls levers, and, like, I think it, like, clamps onto the cable, and the cable pulls him up. Your dad's also Asian? He is Asian. They got to keep him tied up to the cable.

They don't want him going off-road. Fuck! I like how he just said he's 100% Filipino. I was like, is your dad Asian as well? I think I got caught up. The math is not adding up to me. Normally

Asians are very good at math. Wow. So Leroy, how about you? What do you do for work? I'm in staffing. Staffing? Yeah. What kind of staffing are we talking about? Office and administrative staffing.

So, like, receptionist all the way to executive assistants. That's very good. Yeah. And just any place that needs staffing, you do it. Yeah. That reminds me of you're like a little zip recruiter, huh? If you use the promo code KILTONI, you get it. That reminds me of you're like a little zip recruiter. If you use the promo code KILTONI, you get something. That's

for sure. You ever hear of zip recruiter? That's the best ad I've ever heard. If you use the promo code KILTONI, you get something. Yeah, you know what it is. Go back four episodes and listen to exactly what it is. Let's go back and rewind for our zip recruiter ads. Yeah, absolutely.

You get results in 24 hours, do you? We try to. Yeah, ZipRecruiter does. Oh, nice. What was the promo code I can use? It's KILTONI. Oh, nice. Cool.

Yeah, no doubt about it. And it works all the time, every time. And we're big supporters of ZipRecruiter, and they're big supporters of us. We absolutely love their product and would never let you do any staffing for us at all. I agree. That's a good move. Almost any other job, we would have hired you on the spot if you did anything else.

We like you so much. But staffing, we got that all taken care of. With other companies, you could get the staffing infection. Use ZipRecruiter.com. That is correct. Wow. Leroy, anything else crazy we should find out about you? I mean, you seem like such an interesting guy.

How old are you? I'm 26. 26 years old. Yeah, any other fun facts about you or your life? Do you have any hobbies? I actually got these guys on my show, Comedy Psycho. It was like a year ago, maybe? It was a cool backyard show.

Anything interesting about you? Yeah, never mind. Are you guys still booking? Yeah, I'll take you. You're booking? Because at MyBookie, go to mybookie.ag today. You play, you win, you get paid.

They'll double your first deposit. That promo code's JustTony. And by JustTony, I mean the word Tony, not JustTony, or else you won't get anything, you idiots. Use promo code Tony and you get something. Yeah, they double your deposit.

Wow. Anything else, Leroy? Any, like, you ever accomplish anything? You ever get any trophies or anything like that? Trophies? No. My last job was interesting. I was teaching autism for a little bit. You were teaching autism? Why would you teach people how to be autistic?

That's so weird. That's good acting. I teach two kids on the autism spectrum. I wasn't good at the job. I didn't stay very long. We can tell you're not good at it. You may have caught in a fucking airborne case of it for all we know. Maybe. You taught autism.

Maybe. Who's turning normal, healthy humans into autistic number runners. But I mean, if those kids are good at numbers, they should definitely go to my bookie. I mean, you can switch your bet at halftime. It's unbelievable. Promo code Tony. Double your deposit.

Leroy Abouig, you did it. You're the first person to kill at Kill Tony Mania 2019. He's on Instagram and Facebook at Comedy Psychos. All one word. There he goes. Leroy Abouig. Let's switch it over to a special treat right

here, right now. This is one of those Kill Tony Mania moments where one of the greats from Los Angeles made it up here. This is one of those Kill Tony Mania moments where one of the greats from Los Angeles made it up here. This is one of your favorite people if you listen to the modern version of the show. Sometimes this young lady is a guest member of the band.

Sometimes she steps in if Jeremiah is ever on the road and can't make an episode she jumps in. You know her. You love her. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the great Jessie Johnson with a brand new minute, everybody. Here she is. My parents are worried that I work in the entertainment business because a lot of people in the entertainment business do cocaine.

Listen, I think cocaine is disgusting. Every time I do it, I think, ugh, ugh, ugh, last time, after tonight. A lot of people do cocaine in the public restroom. Never understood that. The smelliest room, and they're in there sniffing. Could you imagine if you did not know how somebody did cocaine and you just heard through the locked bathroom stall? Oh, yeah, good shit. What a

narcissist. Which is why I prefer to smoke it. Hey, wow. Look at that. Jesse Johnson. One of our favorite people. Been getting pulled out of the bucket here on Kill Tony

for absolutely years. How long have we known you now? When did you go to Los Angeles the first time? 20, 30 years. 20 or 30 years ago. Yeah, it's been a long time. You haven't changed. You guys might remember her as a college version of Hillary Clinton, everybody. There she is.

But you've been doing this show for years, and about a year, year and a half ago, you sort of evolved into an alternate band member, which is always so fun to have you be part of. You're always a cold-blooded assassin over there. You fit in perfectly, and we're so glad that you did a new minute for us. You're going to be goofing around here all weekend

in some form or another. How about you throw that mic back in the mic stand and sit next to Mikey McKernan and join panel for your first time ever in the history of the show. Then we'll get back to this bucket all together. What do you guys say? Back to the bucket? Back to the bucket we go.

We have the great Jesse Johnson and Mikey McKernan with us right now. Okay. I pulled another name out of the bucket. Let's see what happens here. Put your hands together for John Burns. John Burns. Here we go.

John Burns. Oh, I want to be there in my city. How's it going, everybody? John Burns, everybody. What's going on, guys? Good to be up here. Free body. What's going on, guys? Good to be up here.

I feel like the guy who invented the juke move just got his lefts and rights mixed up. It's like, Jimmy, go left. All right, go... Oh, shit. I'm gonna work on the timing on that one. Don't worry. You ever hear the phrase, rappers want to be athletes,

athletes want to be rappers, rappers want to be athletes, athletes want to be rappers, rappers want to be actors, whatever. When you throw a Radio Shack employee in that mix, it doesn't really work out that well. Nobody wants to be the Radio Shack employee. Thought it was a good joke. My dad thinks he saw aliens. He's really committed to this, actually.

I was there, though. It was just an interracial couple. It's nothing really out of the ordinary. I have dyslexia. I think I have dyslexia. I can't spell it yet. But if I just saw a sign that said delicious, but it really said delicatessen, does that really matter? That's it for me, folks.

Thank you. Fuck yeah, John Burns. There you go. That's it. You did it. I'm guessing first time ever doing stand-up. Absolutely. There you go.

How do you feel right now? How does it feel? It feels hot. I wish I had AC up here. Yeah, probably. It's because of me. I hear you. Sorry about that.

I like this guy. Hell yeah. So, John, how long have you wanted to do stand-up for? Probably since I first saw it. I think it was the Robin Williams HBO special. So I don't know what year that was. you wanted to do stand-up for? Probably since I first saw it. Like, when I was... I think it was the Robin Williams HBO special.

So I don't know what year that was. I thought you were talking about the most recent one or something like that. Wow. Wow, listen to that super sad lady that just keeps going off for no reason. Like, anybody cares about her dumb, super sad opinion? Yeah, he hung himself.

Get over it, dummy. Jesus. Oh, now you himself. Get over it, dummy. Jesus. Oh, now you're all gonna, oh, that's right, I forgot. I forgot, that's why you guys have that reputation, San Francisco, I forgot, I'm sorry. Aww, aww, we're so emotional. Aww. If we say aww, people think we're better

people than we actually are. Aww. Aww, look, we have feelings too. Aww. Shut, look, we have feelings too. Aww. Shut the fuck up. You goddamn bitches up here. Anyway, back to you, John Burns. How old are you? 30.

30 years old. What do you do? I don't know what that reaction was for. What do you do? I do customer support for technical solutions expert. Is everybody have the same stupid ass job here? Is it even worth me asking? There's a lot of different combinations of that same job.

I bet there is. Anyway, what do you do for fun, John? I like camping, watching soccer, and going on hikes. Jesus, what is this, your fucking profile or something? No, no, no. Like camping, soccer, and hikes. Fucking Ron Coons is like, I hate that. These people on my dating apps are the worst.

You on dating apps? No. No? You have a girlfriend? Yes. Yeah? How long you been with her? For about a month, but we've been talking for a lot longer than that. Whoa, I didn't realize you were a giant eighth grader. I haven't heard talking for a long time, John. My god.

How long were you guys talking for? Like a year. Where's your backpack, John? Like a year. Why did it take a year to become her boyfriend? Because I just didn't have myself figured out yet. What the fuck? 30 years old?

Well, she was going steady with another guy. What do you mean you didn't have yourself figured out yet, John? I just didn't have a lot of confidence. Not that I have some now, but I just, I didn't want to make a commitment because I have trust issues, I guess. Why do you think you have trust issues? Your mom abandoned you

at a young age? Yeah. Is that true? No, no, no. I come from a very loving family, for sure. Yeah, no, I can tell. God damn it! So, how, you said about a year you were talking to her before you basically asked her to start going steady with you?

Yes, yes. Uh-huh. And when you finally did, how did that go down? How did you muster the confidence for that? Where were you? What happened? She kind of just kind of called me out and told me I had a man up, so I took her to a carnival and...

Oh, my God. What the fuck are you? That's Kid Down. You know, she told me I had to man up, so I do what a real man does, and I took her to the carnival. What the fuck are you talking about?

When she saw how I ringtossed on those bottles, I knew I was all the way in. Took her to the Ferris wheel and showed her what a real man's all about. You had to pay for the Ferris wheel. Oh, look at you. Fuck yeah. So you really took her to a carnival?

I did, yes. And then did you plant some kind of ultra-romantic fucking first kiss or something like that? No, I kind of forgot that I didn't ask her out. So as we were driving away from the parking lot, I slammed on the brakes and I turned at her and I asked if she wanted to go out with me. Oh my God. Are you fucking with all of us right now?

No, no, that's not true. I slammed on the brakes on the way out of the parking lot of the carnival. Let's fuck. Hey, you want to go out with me? I wonder why he trusts nobody. Everybody's been making fun of his voice since he got up here. Jesus Christ.

Did you win anything at the carnival? Did you play any games? What did you guys do when you were there? Well, I won her affection, and that was what was most important to me. Yeah. She did everything. What did you do at the carnival? I just threw the ball at the little fucking things that they have up there.

Bowling pins. Oh, how'd you do? Good. I want a little thing. I couldn't get the big thing. Right. You know, I just couldn't do the big thing. So I took it to a funhouse mirror,

and I was like, hey, it's a big thing. Hey. Ha, ha, ha. Wow. So then you started going out, and then how are you when it comes to the bedroom? It seems like you might be... I took her to the funhouse mirror for that as well.

So what's your... You guys go all the way yet? You hit the old home run? You put your old wiener inside her vagina? Yes, yes, yes. You did? Yeah. Heck yeah.

You seem like the kind of guy that would use three condoms. Am I right? You seem like a very scared guy. Trust issues. I use one dental dam and then I double bag as well. So yes. She has an IUD just for good luck. You have any special maneuvers

that you do in the bedroom there, John? No, no, I do not. Pretty much just the good lord's work of the missionaries. Yes. You ever go down on her, eat her little funnel cake, or what are we talking about here? Yes. Yes, I've eaten her little Debbie one time.

Hell yeah. Fuck yes, man. So, heck yeah. What does she do? Well, she's a technical advisor at a sales partnership company. She drives Uber and she has a dream catcher in her rear view mirror.

What does she do? She's a loan officer at a bank. Oh, hell yeah. Fuck yeah, looks like you're on borrowed time, my friend. My goodness. So, John, what do you think? You think this might be the one?

Is she with you here tonight? No, she's not. No? Where's she at right now? She's at home. Not my home. We don't live together. Whoa, there seems to be some people over there that sounds like she's fucking a black guy.

Leroy. Uh-oh. Heck yeah. She's on the great carnival ride in the sky right now. Just fucking living that high life. Well, John, that's so cool. Anything else you think we need to know about you before I let you go?

No, I'm not that interesting, no. No, I disagree. I like your style, John. And for a first-timer, you showed how good those first two guys could have done tonight. I appreciate that. Anything else for John, guys?

That's it, right? This guy is like Squidward from SpongeBob was a person. There you go. All right, John Burns, everybody. There he goes, John Burns. Fuck yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. What's up?

It's hard to see in this mask. You know what? Let's do something different, actually. I'm gonna go off the script here. You're going to go up on show two, okay? Just to let you know. I'm gonna do something. I'm just making an executive fast decision here, and instead of going with that comedian, I'm going to bring up

a different special treat. This gentleman was on an episode in Omaha, Nebraska. We met him for the first time. And then we met him again in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. This guy has been to prison before.

He did his first time, I believe, ever on stage in Nebraska with us on my birthday on the road in Omaha, and he blew our minds. He was such an interesting guy, such a great interview. You guys listen to a lot of episodes of this show? Well, then you'll probably recognize this guy. This is his first time at a Kill Tony Mania. He's already a Kill Tony legend. Put your hands together for Calvin Charles Calhoun. Calvin Charles Calhoun.

Here he comes, ladies and gentlemen. Here he is in the flesh. The real deal. Heck yeah. Come on, make some noise for Calvin Charles Calhoun, everybody. Hello, everyone.

Hello! Yeah, for five days I've been on the road to kill Tony Mania, and I'm really glad to be here in San Francisco. here in San Francisco. I was in a fucked-up orphanage, like Oliver Twist. Asking for more food was like asking the old hag to run a joint if you could buttfucker. I was in a prison riot,

only memorable day of my life for a long time. I'm in college finally. Childhood dream. It's disappointing because the main thing I've learned is that most of my instructors couldn't teach a cat to lick its own anus. I'm in a marriage now. I'm always bragging how my wife works two jobs to take good care of me. Then, she had an affair with not one, but both bosses. Mad as hell when I found out she didn't get a raise from either one. Calvin Charles Calhoun. Now, this is true.

Now, you signed up for both shows in Sacramento the last two nights and didn't get pulled out of the bucket for either one. Is that correct? I only signed up for one, but it was such a good show that I just enjoyed watching. Yeah, absolutely. And you drove all the way from Iowa to be there and here, correct? Yeah, my wife drove. Heck, oh, well, yes.

There you go. Heck, yeah. We know she does all the dirty work. Really supporting. I love it. Calvin. There you go. Heck yeah. We know she does all the dirty work. Really supporting. I love it. Calvin Charles Calhoun, triple C. I absolutely love that name. And I love that with your posture, you're also shaped

like the letter C. It's incredible. That's your brand. Stealing your stuff, thief. Did he make that joke before? Somebody did. Was it you? It was me, buddy. Relax. It was Tony in Nebraska.

I thought instead of three Cs, your name would be three Ks. Yeah, okay. What are your thoughts about other races? You like all people of all different shapes and sizes. Yeah. I don't like mixed races. No, come on. Wow. Everybody bought it immediately. Look, I have a lot of thoughts on race. Yeah. Like what? Well, the biologists say there's no race gene. I mean, what race is a guy who hoses down a woman from Sweden and he's from Ethiopia? What race is that?

I don't know. What is it? One-drop rule? Is he black? Wait, what? I missed it. Say that again? Have you ever heard of the one-drop rule?

No. That's what them Beckerwoods believe. One drop and you're black. You are killing in some prison somewhere. They are listening to this episode of this show. They're carving us in a wall right now. There's nothing I love more than when Calvin says something that doesn't kill, he gets this look of evil in his eyes.

It's just like he can't help himself. Like there's a part of you that you're either having the time of your life or you're about to murder everybody on this stage. You having fun right now, Calvin? You good? Yeah. Everybody loves Calvin, right? Sounds painful.

We love you, Calvin. This is like the making a murder documentary. Are you having fun, Calvin? I don't know. Calvin, you have an old school look to you. You spent some time in prison before we found out, right? You accidentally stabbed somebody or something like that. It's not an accident.

Yeah, you set that mic stand down like a weapon. It's true. This young lady is easily threatened by guys that look like they just escaped from Alcatraz. It's very impressive. You have an interesting look. You have a professional barber that does that for you? That's such a cool... How do you get your hair to curl like that?

How do you do that old school fucking... It's called the adult swirly. Fuck. You do that? Oh, is that a gun? Oh, my God. What's going on? All right. Oh, look at that wow a fucking rock star over here

hey that's the third time you said something about my hair looks great yeah all right All right. All right. Very good. Fuck you. There you go. There you go. That's exactly what we were afraid was going to happen. Abso-fucking-lutely. Tell me more. Tell me more.

Absolutely. Very good. Hell yeah. Tell me more. Tell me more. Oh, Tony's so frustrated. We love this part of the show. Great. There you go, yes.

I'm so... I'm so furious. I have no control over the show. You did it again, Jeremiah. Welcome to Kill Tony Maynard. Very good. Wow, so Calvin Charles Calhoun, anything crazy happen since we saw you in Pittsburgh in your life or anything interesting or fun? Well, I used to tell people, oh, man, I hate driving.

And I just feel like somebody's going to T-ball me at an intersection. Then it happened a couple days later. It did? Wow. My goodness. So are you okay? Yeah, yeah. I was driving a decent car.

You were driving, or was your wife driving? No, I was driving. I was driving her car. Uh-oh. My goodness. Glad it wasn't my car. Why? What's your car?

What kind of car do you have? 2019 4Runner Off-Road. My goodness. Glad it wasn't my car. Why? What's your car? What kind of car do you have? 2019 4Runner Off-Road. I put a lift on it. Wow, look at you. Hey, and guess what Jesse Pinkman was driving? An El Camino?

No, at the end of the show. Oh, that's what he was driving. I feel like Jesse Pinkman. Wow, squadman. Wow. Squad goals. Absolutely. Well, Calvin Charles Calhoun, you're an absolute legend on this show.

Everybody loves you. You're a perfect example of, you know, what a fucking road warrior and an interesting person. Anyway, hell yeah. Fun times. How about another hand for Calvin Charles Calhoun, everybody? Thank you. Hell yeah. Come on, make some noise for Calvin, everybody. All the

way from Iowa. As you can tell, he's been sleeping in his car. All right, let's go back to the bucket. Put your hands together for Ashton Tate. Seems like a familiar name.

I feel like we may have seen this person before. Ashton Tate. Here we go. Here comes Ashton Tate, everybody. Hell yeah. One more time for Ashton, everyone. I like reading self-help books, but I don't like how they curse in the title nowadays,

get the attention of millennials, you know? It's like the subtle art of not giving a fuck, get your shit together, unfuck yourself. That's why I'm working on my own. It's called Who's Dick? Do I Have to Suck to Be My Own Boss? And it's about how I became a yoga instructor. See a lot of couples here. Have you all heard of that Jewish dating app Venmo? It's a good app.

I've never done Netflix and chill but I have passed out with an erection next to a red box I think one cool thing about dating her cousin is you can't get friend zoned you know she's like look babe I think we should just be family. I got a friend,

got a friend who's vegan and retarded, so when he found out they use horses to make glue, he stopped eating glue. Took a good time. Thank you. There you go. Wow. Ashton Tate, ladies and gentlemen.

This is one of the things I absolutely love about this show. You've been on this show before. You've been pulled out of the bucket before. And I'm certain that that went much better than any set you've ever had on this show before. I mean, maybe. I don't know. I do. I know for a fact.

There you go. I got the Ice House. That was nice. But, yeah, I've been coming since December don't know. I do. I know for a fact. I got the ice house. That was nice. I've been coming since December and haven't gotten any luck. You've been going to the one in L.A. since December? Yeah. I went to the Sacramento ones last night, too. Wow.

A lot of people signing up. Yeah, it's true. It's a crazy system of reaching in a bucket and fucking feeling for a piece of paper. I used to live here, and I haven't been here in a year, and this place has piece of paper. Yeah, yeah. I used to live here and I haven't been here in a year and this place has changed so much. It's crazy. I went into a Tesla dealership just around the corner

this morning and I was like, hey, I remember when this used to be a Subaru dealership, a nice mom and mom business. It was worth it. I like that. It's changing here. You get funnier and funnier every time I see you.

It's incredible. Hell yeah. And I've always wondered what it would look like if Theo Vaughn worked at a coal mine. Yeah, yeah. This is really exciting to see this. Yeah. And this shirt you're wearing is fucking as rock and roll as it gets, huh? My God.

Yeah, I used to do comedy here. Some of the comics don't like me as much because I voted for the president. Yeah, I like that. Absolutely. It's good to be back. Yeah, you're damn right. Shots fired. Wow. What do you do for work,

Ashton? Just doing the old accounting. Oh, wow. for work, Ashton? Just doing the old accounting. Oh, wow. Accounting at a technical lab? Nope. I fuck tech. Hell yeah. Absolutely. Fuck tech. Go America. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

No offense to everyone. What are some other patriotic things that you're into? You do like sparklers on Sundays or something like that? What else is American about it? Sundays and every other day of the week and shooting guns. You shoot a lot of guns? A registered one that's even more

American. Wow, I like that. Yeah, yeah. Where do you shoot your gun at? There's a couple ranges around LA that I go to. Mexico. Hey, wow. The president seems to be calling in during your set since you support him.

What's your favorite thing about the president, Donald J. Trump? I don't know. I think he's like a good pushback against the media, how they kind of slander everything. And I think even if you don't support him, I think a lot of people are waking up to that. Thank you very much. I absolutely agree.

So does he. He's very happy that you said that about him. It's very rare that supporters, do you ever get people ever bother you for saying that you don't mind the job that he's doing or anything like that? People ever push back on you? Yeah, sometimes.

But nothing crazy. I mean, nothing. Like what's an example of that or anything like that? People ever push back on you? Yeah, sometimes. But nothing crazy. What's an example of that or anything? Some chick who's really bad at comedy. She wanted me to sign an ADL form. Donate to the ADL

and then post on Facebook. Remind me again of what the ADL is. Anti-Defamation League. Oh, yeah. We're losers. Yeah, and what did you tell her? And then post on Facebook that I don't support hate or whatever, and I just said no. You're like, listen, bitch, I do support hate.

See you later. Wow, I almost did a real spit take there. She told me to sign this saying that I don't support hate and I was like, no. So beautiful. What's the meanest thing you've ever done to another human being?

Oh shit. He's like, how do I choose just one? I do like man on the street videos So I did one, everyone knows the Walmart greeter I got a Walmart vest on eBay And I was the Walmart good buyer So I would go up behind people

They were putting stuff in their car And I'd yell goodbye really loud That's awesome And I ended up getting choked by the security guard who worked there. Wow. Because apparently apparently people were posing as Walmart employees and robbing customers.

And I didn't know that. So he goes, what are you doing? And I didn't have time to explain YouTube. So I just started to run and then he just grabbed me. Wow. You got run down by a Walmart security guard?

How slow are you? Well, it wasn't a greeter. The greeters are... I know they're in wheelchairs and stuff, I'm aware, yes. Yeah, yeah. Get back here! Yeah. What's your love life like?

You find yourself a little something to do the old Trump de-hump with? I had a boyfriend for ten years. You had a boyfriend for ten years? No, no, no, it's a girlfriend. I've had a girlfriend for a couple years, yeah. Wait, what just happened? What the fuck just happened right there? Nobody's honest up here about their women.

Boyfriend for ten years? I mean, girlfriend for two years? Yeah, yeah. The fuck was that, dude? No, I'm married. No, I have a girlfriend for four years. A girlfriend for four years. Wow, dude.

I'm starting to believe your first answer more and more with every answer that you give. You can do both these days. Okay, well, what do you do in real life? I just have a girlfriend. You just have a girlfriend? How long have you been with her? A couple years. What does she do?

She does advertising. What's your favorite thing about her? She's got a great laugh. And she's easy to talk to. You have any special moves that you do in the bedroom? You have any special fucking patriot moves or anything like that? I've read She Comes First. Every time while I'm doing it.

Do you know that book? Red Band doesn't. But it's... Whoa, shots fired at the Roos Band. I don't know, I'm just pretty good at going down. Yeah, you like eating pussy. Yeah, I think it gets better with age. That's definitely a very...

That should have been under the... What's one of the more patriotic things about you? I think that's about as American as it gets, is eating pussy. Yeah. I've never heard pussy compared to wine. You know, with a little bit of age. How old's your girlfriend? She's 30.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Interesting. What's the longest you've ever spent going down on her? I think it was like... Jesus. Was I supposed to smell on your breath her pussy just then?

I think it was last November, like, 11 minutes. 11 minutes. 11 minutes? That's it? Well, I mean, when you're good, that's like a great amount of time. Hey, I guess you're right. Can you show us a little example?

Can you just face out there and show us? I've seen too many guys do it, and it's never effective, so I'm just going to tell you to... I don't know, you just fucking do what you want. Come on. No. Come on, that's not true.

If 11 minutes is the longest you've ever gone, there must be something that you do. No, every guy who's done that on stage, it always ends really unfunny. I'm just going to say just lick it like a piece of bread. Just up. Lick it like a piece of

bread? Yeah, yeah. Mikey's got it going here. Mikey's doing it. Mikey's got two fingers in the butthole. I don't know whether he's eating it from behind or in the missionary position there. Mikey, can you do that one more time? I'm trying to figure out the science. Oh, whoa.

He just blew open the meat curtains and now is apparently squeezing the ball sack and licking the tip. Yeah. Very interesting. Well, Ashton, I mean, I'm going to tell you right now, it was an incredible fucking set. I mean, one of my favorite sets. Perhaps ever, but definitely of the night. Great stuff.

Stay true to who you are, man. I love everything about you. You're a real goddamn comedian and you're a real goddamn American. Good job, buddy. There he goes, Ashton Tate, ladies and gentlemen. Hey!

Let's do something fun, shall we? You guys like fun things? Alright. Well, what if I were to tell you that we have a regular on this show, ladies and gentlemen? And he's here with us tonight. I present to you this young man has been with the show for at least 10 months. He's a very controversial character.

People either absolutely love him or you absolutely hate him. There is nobody in the fucking middle. I present to you one of my favorite humans of all time, one of the top Young Rising comedians in the world, the Big Red Machine, William Montgomery. Here he is, live in the flesh.

Oh, this guy's leaving. He hates him. Oh my God. Who the fuck is that? Let's give it up for Jerry Rice. Let's give it up for Joe Montana. So Dracula and I have gotten to be pretty good buddies. It's just weird because he won't stop coming over to my mom's house now asking for blood and my mom's pretty

worried that he has a problem. So she now thinks I have a problem and I have to be like, mom, it's just fucking blood. There's no eye in time work that is the illiterate guy that works at a clock shop. Yikes.

So it's sort of weird. My brother won't stop doing crossword puzzles and he doesn't know how to read. That did so much better last night in my dream that I had where I said that. Is Tony Chin here? Seriously, is Tony Chin here? There's a guy there raising his hand, William. Tony?

I've never seen this happen. What'd you just fucking say? How about another hand for William Montgomery? I think that was just the guy pretending to be Tony Chin there for a second.

Tony? Does that look like Tony Chin? We've never seen him. Tony Chin? Take your hat off. It's not. It's not him. William, how's life going? It's pretty good. I actually

went against your will. I've been pounding Tito's and cranberry juice up there. I'm pretty much blacked out right now I specifically told everybody before the show that we have two massive shows tonight to pace yourselves why have you been doing that to yourself

because I've run out of minutes I don't have another one for the next show I've run out of minutes I don't have anything for tomorrow night I'm worried about it I have lesnaire's disease. How do you know you have Legionnaire's? What are the side effects to that?

I can't smell my feet anymore. That's funny because we've all been staying at the same Airbnb and we can smell your feet just fine. Those crocs are really cooking up some shit in there. Heck yeah. What'd you just say, Red Boom? You heard me, man. Why'd you clean out your fucking ears?

Okay, shut the fuck up! We have a rivalry here. Please shut it down! This is a real battle of the natural disasters. Earthquake and typhoon over here really going at it. So, William,

welcome. My favorite part of your set was when you came out guns a-blazin' just in support of Jerry Rice and Joe Montana. I don't know, this new pandering thing is really working for you. You got the crowd to go crazy there. Last night, it was Mike Bibby and Peja Stojakovic. Those pieces of shit up there loved it. I hated all those fucking people.

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, William. We love you so much. You've never sat on the panel before. What do you say we have William join us for the rest of the show? How about another hand for Mikey McKernan, everybody? We saw him eat a vagina and a butthole here tonight. And he squoze a ball sack and lick the tip of a dick

There he is Wow isn't this something His first time ever on panel William Montgomery Is at the table with a microphone It is so nice to be here I dreamed about this last night It went pretty good

It went well? It went alright Who the fuck just said that? It went pretty good It went well? It went alright Okay Who the fuck just said that? What'd you say? Is he bald? Is who bald? You're asking if William's bald?

Yes he is He just combs it to make it look like he has a little bit of hair on top I am sweating like a motherfucker I took three Zantac 75s earlier. On cloud nine, I can hardly see. Well, William, I'm excited that

you're here. And yes, hats off to you. Let that thing rock. We've seen this young lady on this show before. She, I do believe, lives in Los Angeles and made it all the way up here for this put your hands together for Destiny Lelaine everybody

here we go Destiny Lelaine come on one more time for Destiny Lelaine everybody hello everyone I know it's been a heavy political season and I think everybody. Hello, everyone. I know it's been a heavy political season and I think that people should be a little more positive about themselves.

You know, be your own hype man, be your own cheerleader, right? So, I'll go first. Fun fact about me, most people don't know this, but I was actually a national champion race walker growing up, right? And when I tell people that I was a national champion race walker growing up, they say it makes sense

because I grew up in New York, right? But I don't think that you're naturally gifted at walking fast because you were born in New York, right? It's obviously hereditary, considering how fast my father walked out of my life, right? Maybe I'm wrong. Let's see what's going on. My mother says that I sound like I have daddy issues, but I wish she would focus on the positives considering I definitely parallel park like I grew up with a father figure. Thank you. Hell yeah, Destiny

Lelaine, everybody. Fuck yeah. Destiny Lelaine. Welcome back to the show. You were on in Los Angeles. Yes. We've seen you before. Welcome back.

I love your style. You somehow look like a granddaughter, a daughter, a mother, and a grandmother all at the same time. Thank you. You have a lot of range. You have so much range, the last comedian wants to shoot at it. So a race walker. We've talked about this before in the main room of the Comedy Store. We had you try, but you

were only able to get a few steps out. This is a larger stage. Much larger venue. Would you mind walking back and forth at the fastest speed that you can? This is unbelievable. Race walking is a real thing. This is different than what Jesse Johnson does. She's a race trader.

Destiny is a... Wait, is that... Is that your maximum speed? I heard some disappointing wows in the crowd, but yeah. Destiny, what did you just do? I don't know,

because I am fucked up, Tony. Whoa! Wow. Looks like William's not the only one What did you just do? I don't know, because I am fucked up, Tony. Whoa! Wow. Looks like William's not the only one that is overdosing on Zantac here tonight. What are you fucked up on, Destiny? A lot of red wine. A lot of red wine.

What made you drink so much red wine before the first show here tonight? It's only 8.58. My job working in tech like all these motherfuckers. Oh, there you go. Everybody's fucked up here. That's it. How much red wine did you have? About three glasses, officer.

Oh, my goodness. No, it's okay. My goodness. Relax. You're not in any trouble, even though you're dressed like a guy that sells illegal things from the inside of his jacket. Hey, you want any of these? Any watches? Heck yeah. What kind of tech company do you work at?

I actually don't work for anyone. I am a zip recruiter fucking recruiting and placing people into companies. It's not what it's boring. Okie dokie. That wasn't an answer at all. This is the second night in a row We've had a wino'd up chick

Pulled out of the bucket This is very exciting So, wow, Destiny You made the trip up here from LA, how was your drive? It was very enjoyable Yeah, anything crazy happen? Or interesting? Yeah, no, sorry, I'm boring guys

Oh my goodness You're having a full meltdown here. What's going on? What happened? Did Sabrina put a spell on you or something like that? No, I apologize for not being as entertaining as usual, gang. Oh my goodness. You're imploding from the inside out.

I don't understand what's happening here. This is the saddest episode of Harry Potter I've ever seen in my life. This is unbelievable. Catburglar, what's going on over here? Do you have any thoughts about this one? She looks like she's dressed to join your squad. Yes, I like what she's wearing. She looks like a sad Paddington bear.

But, you know, maybe lift your spirits a little bit you're a guilt onomania anything can happen tonight this is magical this is magical what's happening right now Jessie you are a veteran female comedian

Destiny how long have you been doing stand up since 2015 2015 alright 4 years how long have you been doing it Jessie 500 years. Oh, 500 years. I always forget how funny your lies are.

How long have you been doing it in real life? A little over eight years. A little over eight years. Do you have any advice for Destiny Lillane? I think just take a deep breath,

a quick walk around the stage, just get in your element. Now, this is the first time that William Montgomery has ever been on panel. I'm almost deathly afraid to check in with him right here, but I am going to anyway. He is sweating. He's sweating from his eyeballs.

It is unbelievable. I've never seen pools of sweat like this before. Something is horribly wrong. I was listening to what occurred up there. You started walking. I started sweating more. I'm on edge right now.

I don't know. You just put the microphone down there for a second. William, what do you think about Destiny's performance? Destiny, I've now been teaching stand-up comedy for five years.

One of the pointers I tell my students, if things aren't necessarily working out, just tell the audience you have some sort of made-up disease. Tell them you have Lyme's disease. Tell them you have Legionnaire's disease. Talk about your aunt. Talk about your cousins.

Talk about diverticulitis. Talk about your cousin Taylor. Oh my god, he's giving away all of his secrets that we all know. That is incredible. I love this. Just be real with the audience. Sort of let them into your home, if you will. Just open up the door slowly. Just let them walk in. Let them have a good time.

Make them take their shoes off. Smile at them. Say hello. How are you doing hello how are you doing what are what are you doing in my house right now hold on how'd you get in here wow that is incredible huh my goodness how about another hand good and loud for destiny lillane everybody destiny you're fine you're fine. You're fine. Great stuff. Destiny to the main stage. Word of advice, everyone. Don't get drunk before signing up for this show. I tell all these people that have been doing it for 12, 13, 14 years,

don't get too drunk. I don't ever have a chance to tell the people that don't sign up. I just assume you're not going to do it. But yeah, don't get too drunk before signing up. Did you used to drink a lot though when you first started off? I mean, like the first open mics and stuff, I used to just get hammered because my nerves were

so bad. No, no. I started my first time ever up was at the comedy store. So I started in the most stressful situation possible. I believe in I believe in when you're starting out or working something out at an open mic or at a show that maybe you're just popping into and you're really working out genuinely new ideas I do believe that if you smoke pop regularly that smoking pop before a set is okay because I think it sort of adds the ankle weights

to your timing and your execution and your creativity. You might say something that you weren't planning on saying. You might riff something that you weren't going to say. But I think alcohol just makes the comedian feel right. It's just there. It's just there. It's so lame.

We've seen it 15 times in the six and a half years we've done this show, but I like that you guys like it, the early show here. But my point is that if you drink... Yes, there you go. Works in the car too. Easy cop-out. Now I know how hacky this audience is

too. I don't like you guys now either. Can't wait for the second show. Just killing time for this whole thing to be over. But it's a very important lesson that I am going to finish. You guys can play whatever wackadilly sound effects you want, because this is important. Maybe you should listen to this, Red Band.

Getting too drunk before sets just makes you think you're doing better than you are, not the audience. Anyway, are you guys ready to keep this fun train rolling? Cat Burglar, you have something you want to say? I was just curious about the AC. Some of us are in thermals and beanies up here and gloves.

I was wondering if maybe we could kick on the AC for like two minutes. Yeah, I shot Kyle a message. Kyle, you can turn it on for a bit. Let's rotate some air in for about 10 minutes and then shut it off again. Before we go back to this bucket, you guys want another special treat?

Good. Good. All right, then let's do it. We have another regular on this show. He's taken it over by Storm. Him and William are co-regulars together. Every single time he hits the stage on this show, it's always amazing, impressive, well-written jokes

and then usually we have a little organic. Me and this guy just can't stop making fun of one another. Put your hands together for him. It's the newest regular on Kill Tony. It's David Lucas, everybody. Yeah! Yeah. Yeah.

Nigga, I thought L.A. was expensive. San Fran is on another level of expensive, you know what I'm saying? I knew it was too much money in San Fran because I saw today for the first time a homeless Asian. I was like, bruh, don't nobody need a phone fix? Ain't no karate studio you can open up. Nothin'. But I realized why Asians are homeless.

Because they got Hispanics cooking all the Asian food. I went to a Chinese restaurant today. And a Mexican dude walked out like, hey, you want fried rice, fucker? Or what about this taco egg roll, fool? You know what I'm saying? Spicy or no spicy, man? What's up, man? All right, thank you.

Fuck yeah, David Lucas. Special little San Francisco set. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Covered the bases there. I thought the last comedian was a race walker. You just walked everybody of every other race out of the room, Hispanics and Asians. I don't think they're in here.

No, I know. It was just a lame joke. The audience has turned on me at this point anyway. every other race out of the room. Hispanics and Asians. I don't think they're in here. No, I know. It's just a lame joke. The audience has turned on me at this point anyway. Welcome again on the show, David. Another fun set. Have you been to San Francisco before? Yeah, man.

Y'all need to turn the heat on in this city. Yeah, it's cold out there. It's cold as fuck, man. Heck yeah. But the air conditioning's on. Or as you call it, Nike air conditioning. Okie dokie. Why did I laugh at that shit? It's funny.

It's funny. Again, they're out of it now. They're out of... Y'all ain't fucking with Tony no more? They've turned on me. I just told them that they suck and that I'm killing. It looked like a whole bunch of Tonys in the audience. Yeah.

It is a very good looking crowd up here Normally like in Sacramento It's just a bunch of fat sloths Oh my god Sacramento was horrible I didn't see one good looking woman Dude you invited You had a friend there didn't you No that bitch hit me up on Instagram

I thought I was gonna to get my dick sucked, so I said, hell yeah. That bitch ain't do shit. She didn't do it? What ended up happening? She drank all my liquor. My goodness. You don't get blue balls, do you?

They just stay black the whole time, don't they? Tony got to get his pussy ate for his dick to get hard. Oh, my God. I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. If I had a pussy, Lord knows you'd be the first one to eat it, David Lucas. I don't know what that short haircut I could fuck with. That's probably true.

Pussy's probably the only thing you don't eat. Oh. I eat it well. You see these fucking watermelon lips? Wow. Look at that. Heck yeah. Hell yeah.

I didn't know this. I'm sorry. William's cracking up right now. William, what's going on? Speak into the microphone. Tell us what you're laughing at. He fought for my freedom. I think you have your Civil War sides

mixed up, David Lucas. Were you on the north or the south? I fought for the south. Giant racist, don't trust blacks. I don't either. I don't trust them. Why don't either. I don't trust them. Why don't you trust the blacks, William? What happened? Was there a moment

in which... Yeah, I mean, growing up, there was this lady named Imogene who used to clean my parents' house. One day we were all looking for her false teeth that were missing. Yeah, her teeth were missing. We ended up going to

my middle brother Vance's room. He's a little boy at the time in his crib and he ends up smiling and there's just a gold tooth in his mouth. Just a gold tooth smile. He put the cleaning lady's teeth in her mouth? In his mouth? He did. Just after that point

I didn't know what to think. I think that's maybe part of the reason I was pounding that Tito's up there tonight. I get confused at times. I don't know what to do at times. It turns into a nightmare. I start talking about Lyme's disease. I start talking about thinking it's funny. I know it's not funny. Why do I keep doing it? it's not funny. Why do I keep doing it? Are you... David, I mean,

William, has anybody ever told you that you look like if the bad guy from Billy Madison let himself go completely? Have I ever said that to you? That's funny. David Lucas, we've been having fun all week together. What do you say David Lucas joins

panel for the first time ever in the show's history? How about another hand for Jesse Johnson, everybody? Fuck yeah. There goes Jesse. In with David Lucas. Sure, William, slide on down here. Come on down. Hell yeah.

How about one more time for Jesse Johnson, everybody? All right, back to the bucket we go. You guys want to go to the bucket one more time? Fuck yeah. Okay. Okay, this is an interesting name. This is a one-word name. Put your hands together for Buffalo.

Buffalo. Oh, here he is. Here's Buffalo. Here comes Buffalo, everybody. Uh-oh. Look out. Always a good sign when they're dancing first. One more time for Buffalo, everybody. Uh-oh. Look out. Always a good sign when they're dancing first. One more time for Buffalo, everybody.

Who the fuck is feeling sexy tonight? You are not feeling sexy. You were like, I'm about to feel sexy, but I'll get you there. I'll get you there. My name is Buffalo, and it's not because I'm a big cow with long hair. That's an inside joke Alright, moving on I try to compete in this sober October thing that everybody's doing Yeah, fuck that

There was like a million people got blacked out last week If everybody else is getting blacked out, so am I Man, I got a love-hate relationship with chess Where I fucking hate chess but I love saying checkmate like I was talking to this girl that I'm kind of seeing I was like you want to come over tonight

and she's like I don't know your roommate gonna be there I was like nah my mom's out of town till next Wednesday checkmate checkmate I'm not lying my dream job is to move to England Nah, my mom's out of town until next Wednesday. Checkmate! Checkmate! I'm not lying.

My dream job is to move to England or Auckland or somewhere and just be a landlord. Just checkmate. Checkmate! That's it. That's it. You're welcome. Hell yes. Buffalo.

Fuck yeah, man. Welcome. Hell yeah, man. Welcome. Hell yeah, man. Happy to be here. Hell yeah. Good to see you. Thank you. You are misshapen. You are what we would call a special kind of fat. There's something going on there. I couldn't have put that any better.

I wore this shirt because it's comfortable, and I was like, I'm going to look like I got some kind of special pancake titties that you don't want to order. Yeah, for sure. That is a mustardy shirt. That is... I mean, I feel like that's the same

color of William Montgomery's underwear right now. Speaking of William Montgomery, he just ghosted me at the bar before the show. I hit him up. I was like, you trying to get schwifty? And he was like, I'm down. Nope. Left me on scene after that. Didn't even show up. I don't think you know what ghosted means.

Did he fuck you first? Yeah, we had sex in the bathroom. Oh, you did? Yeah. Who fucked who? He was very passionate. We made out for probably five minutes. Yeah? Why don't you guys do it again, then? It was seven minutes in heaven, five minutes of making out. William.

Wow, Buffalo looks like he's down for this. This could be Kill Tony history. No fucking way. What is happening? I can't see. Are they kissing? Oh, my God. Oh, wow.

Oh, my God. Wow. This is like an audition for the new Silent Bob solo movie. Yeah. Jay and Silent Bob. I'd fuck with that. Can I get at you just for a second with that pirate-looking mustache? Sure. You want to take a shot at it?

You look like the pirate Muppet Rat from Treasure Island. You hear that? Roasted. He looks like he fuck bitches that? Roasted. Roasted. He looks like he fuck bitches that smell like sage. Mmm. Sandalwood or sage.

David looks like he has sex with women named sage. Nah, he would have got some in Sacramento last night if he did. You dress like you do stock at Ralph's, nigga. I dress like I got fired from doing stock at Ralph's. Bro, you dress like you do stock at Ralph's, nigga. I dress like I got fired from doing stock at Ralph's. No, you...

I got roasted. Them shoes. Like you kick drink cans down the street. You look like a baked potato came to life. Hey, there he is. Look at that. He just woke up over there.

Wow. Yeah. Who's hungry for some carbohydrates? It's a potato famine in San Francisco. Eat some. I don't know if he looks like a snowboarder or a cardboarder. He's homeless. Yeah.

He does. He looks like the type of homeless guy that has a dog. Do you have a dog? Yeah, I do. Yeah, what's your dog's name? His name's Booty. Wow. Yeah.

His name's Booty. Why'd you name him that? He had a blue eye, and they named him Blue because of his blue eye. And we just started listing off B names. And he looked at me, and he was like, bro, call me Booty. And I just looked at him, and I yelled Booty. And he jumped on me and started getting excited. So he's been Booty. I just looked at him and I yelled Booty. He jumped on me and started getting excited. He's been Booty for eight, nine years now.

Oh my God. Great work. You ever eat any of his dog food? No. You seem like you would every once in a while sneak a little spoon of the old pedigree here and there. Do I?

Yeah, you look like that. All right, well, I still get laid, so fuck it, whatever. Yeah? How often do you get laid? Like, solid twice a month if I try. Really? What do you do?

That's better than a lot of Die Hard Kill Tony fans. What about... I guess so. Roasted! I'm back in the game! I'm back! You turned on me after my minute!

I'm back now! Oh, you're out again. You said you have sex solid twice a month. What about mushy? How often do you have sex mushy? It's mushy every time, looking like this baked potato ass. Where do you meet most of these chicks?

The apps. Yeah, the apps. Like TGI Friday apps. What are we talking here? Yeah, you know, I'd like that Southwestern roll. Oh, chicken tinder.

Chicken tinder. It's so much funnier when a fat guy is making fun of another fat guy. That's true. Finally, I get to do it. Fuck that.

Right? I was hoping I'd get up just so y'all could diss me tonight. Heck yeah. I was hoping you would get up so that we could diss you too. I got too much fat in my jowls.

My lip can't fit into all the thumpethum. Fuck yeah. So the last chick you hooked up with, you're on an app and then she's like, hey, what's up? I'll settle for anything. And then what'd you say? Yeah, no, that's pretty much what happened. It was on Plenty of Fish and she actually hit me up first. So she got out of a relationship with

a 50-year-old dude. So yeah, this is A-plus material after being in that shit for 10 years. Plenty of fried fish. Legit, I lasted about... We're like school of fish. Heck yeah. This chick just got

out of a relationship with a 50 year old guy and she's like that's it I'm ready for a 35 year old lesbian let's fucking do this and so then what you went to her place or she went to your place she came down from where she lives at yeah where does she live at the middle of the middle of the woods somewhere

whoa Lake County gets a big groan oh my god even the ugly people are like, no. It's right there with Sacramento. Wow. And so she came down and then what'd you guys do? Oh, she came down. Oh, I bet. And then what'd you guys do?

We went and got drinks and then we went back to my house. Heck yeah. My mom's trailer park. Is that trail? Yeah, yeah, that was all true. I wasn't fucking with you all up here. I live with my mom in a trailer park for people that are 55 and older. Wow, that is awesome.

And I grow weed in that shit, and I fuck in that place, and it's real. So you have your own trailer, or you live in your mom's trailer? I live in a manufactured home in the trailer park with my mama's. So your mom lives with you in a pretty big trailer. I live with her. In a pretty big trailer. She's the one working. In a big trailer, basically.

Right? Yeah, it's like a manufactured home. Manufactured home. It's like two trailers put together and it makes it look like a house. You have a double wide, baby. Double wide, yeah. But it's all the same fucking pretty big trailer, right? Yeah, you'd call it a trailer pretty much.

Yeah, no, every one of us would. No one calls it a manufactured home. No one would be like, hey, I was at this guy's wacky manufactured home park the other day, and boy, we drank a bunch of Monster Energy drinks, smoked Winstons. It was grand old time. Nailed it. So your mom can definitely hear you fucking. Oh, yeah.

No, I got a whole bit about that that I go into that I didn't do. Hell yeah. Has your mom ever complimented you or given you any tips or anything like that? No, she hasn't yet. Just try tips. I love it. I love it. Ooh, look at this. That was a good one.

That was a good one. I'll fuck with that. That was dope. That's an honor just to get with that one. Absolutely. a good one. I'll fuck with that. That was dope. That's an honor just to get with that one. Absolutely. My goodness. Buffalo, you have any special tricks you use in the bedroom? I beatbox, so I can eat some pussy too. You can eat pussy

and beatbox at the same time? Is there a woman out there that'd like to get their pussy eaten while he beatboxes? Ah, there you go. Alright. Fuck yeah. There's like ten women right now that want to throw their hands eaten while they beatboxes. There you go. There's like ten women right now that want to throw their hands up, but they're not. I look out there and I see they really really do.

They want to throw their hands up, but they lost them due to diabetes. Stolberg coming in hot. What? They're fat. Yeah. Yes, they are. Is there anything else What? They're fat. Yeah. Yes, they are. Is there anything else crazy about you, Buffalo, that we should know about?

I mean, we just found out sneakily. We just went all about the fat shit. But yeah, there's some crazy. I used to sell drugs and live in a van. I used to be an actor. His father is Buffalo Bill. I used to hang out at the comedy store a lot back in the day. You did? Yeah.

I lived on Marino's couch for a minute. Really? Yeah. Wow, that is unbelievable. How long did you live there for? Like a month and a half. I knew Becca from back in Colorado. Oh, okay.

That's cool. Heck yeah. That must have been a rough transition going from being right there on the Sunset Strip all the way to... My mom's house in Sonoma County. It's not a house, dude. You keep trying to fucking... It was back then.

She was renting a house and I was living in the garage of a house she was renting. Now we're moving up. I'm gonna get that shit. From the Sunset Strip to the Chicken Strip. That's true. What do you find yourself eating a lot of? I drink a lot of beer.

And I'm into the dairy. I live in Sonoma County where all kinds of good cheeses. They got the Whole Foods market where they got the cheap cheeses. They do have some of the absolute best cheeses up there. Oh, my God. I just put those cheeses in my mouth and let it melt. Let's check in with William Montgomery here. He's been silently.

I am just watching you, thinking about our time spent in the bathroom earlier, just our make-out session, our kissing, our sweet nothings, our swapping shirts, our taking off of pants together, our winking at one another. I loved it. I miss the way that you whispered into my ear that you wanted me to go to Walgreens and get you more Zantac 75.

Okie dokie. It's not funny when I... Well, Buffalo, I thank you so much for signing up and coming on and being part of this whole thing. How about another hand for Buffalo, everybody? Did you guys have fun tonight? Alright,

we did it. That's Kill Tony number one. Kill Tony Mania. Well, it's actually Kill Tony Mania three, but it's also Kill Tony Mania two, part one. Hey, look at this drawing from Ryan J. E. Belt, everybody. While you all sat there doing nothing, he drew that. We have

another show tonight. We have to get ready for the great Ryan J. Ebel made a special Kill Tony Mania poster that if you want one, just jump in line and we're going to sign it for you, take a picture with you. Again, if you're coming to both shows, do not get in this meet and greet line. Get in the

meet and greet line after the second show. If this is the only Kill Tony that you're coming to tonight, then sure. Jump in the meet and greet line or whatever and show. If this is the only Kill Tony that you're coming to tonight, then sure. Jump in the meet and greet line or whatever and get something or don't get something. Get a picture, shake our hand, say hi real quick. But we have to turn this over super quick because we have another show that is

scheduled to start in 25 minutes. So that's not going to happen. But we're going to get through you guys as fast as we can because we absolutely love you guys. Thank you so much for coming out and joining us for this very special first episode of Kill Tony Mania 2019. We love you. Good night. ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ដោយ។ ប្រូវាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្រាប់ប្ Bye. Thank you.