KILL TONY - KILL TONY #416

Episode Date: November 22, 2019

Erik Griffin, Steve Lee, David Lucas, William Montgomery, David Deery, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 11/18/2019 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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December 14th, we'll be in Pittsburgh at the Rex Theater. December 15th, we'll be in Cleveland at the House of Blues. Go to DeathSquad.TV and click on Tour Dates. ShopSquad.TV, that's the official merchandise of the Death Squad universe. There you have the new Kill Tony shirt. You also have some hats, some Death Squad shirts, and a bunch of stuff. That's ShopSquad.TV. Tony Hinchcliffe has his own website,

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And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Redman coming to you live from the road-famous Comedy Store Main Room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hitchcliffe! Yippee-doo-dah-day, everybody. It's another episode of Kill Tony. Make some noise, Brian Red Band. Hey, what's up, everyone?

You guys excited to be here? This is the number one live podcast in the world. All right, that's a half-assed effort. I'm excited to be here. I just got back from the road. Some fun gigs in Texas that I did with Joe Rogan. We did sold-out arenas. That looked amazing. Yeah, no big deal.

Just doing 30 minutes all by myself in basketball arenas. You fucking fucks. Anyway, good to be home. Kill Tony goes back on the road. Hey, Ryan J. E. Belt's here, everybody. Look at him. He's drawing tonight's episode.

He's got a blank sheet of paper in front of him, and he's drawing it right now. He's also the author of Kill Tony the book, which features every poster and print of every episode of the show ever. RyanJEBelt.com. Everything is on sale right now. There's a special holiday sale

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we're going back out on the road. Columbus, the 12th of December. Pittsburgh, the 14th of December. Cleveland, the 15th of December. So come on out in the snowy weather and join us in the Midwest in the month of December. This Saturday, wrestling fans, if anyone's listening that's a wrestling fan or ever has been, Infinite CBD presents Storkade live from this room this Saturday afternoon in our first ever pro wrestling event at the Comedy Store

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we are making our illustrious return. January 9th, San Antonio, one night only, Kill Tony, plus a massive stand-up show. And Houston, Texas, Kill Tony's and stand-up shows both the 10th and 11th of December. So that's the 9th of January. The 9th of January in San Antonio, the 10th and 11th of January in Houston. Congratulations to Texas, probably our biggest state for Kill Tony fans.

I actually announced those after my set at the arenas. Oh, shit. It's probably already sold out. Thank you. That's my time. By the way, I'll be back in January with my podcast and a stand-up show. A fucking arena.

You guys know what that's like, though. Anyway, Calgary, we're doing a whole weekend. January 23rd is Kill Tony. 24th and 25th, four stand-up shows. And, yeah, a bunch of exciting stuff happening. I'm really pumped about it. And, oh, yes, this is exciting. Jeremiah is headlining St. Louis, San Diego, Kansas City, Chicago, and Detroit.

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way up in the bird's nest up there. He's actually in an unbelievably awesome band called the Cold Blue Rebels, and they have a brand new EP. It's available everywhere. It's called The House That Frank Built. The artwork on the album cover is from our very own Ryan J. Ebelt,

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Psychobilly. I love it. I love it. I'm glad I'm on your good side, Danny Lucas. You don't want to make a psychobilly guy mad at you. Danny and I have had a lot of fun in the 12 years that I've known him. He is what I would consider a cool, bold dude.

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You guys ready to start tonight's episode or what? We are live from the world-famous Comedy Store. We've had a lot of fun lately, a lot of insanity happening on this damn show, and I could not be more excited about tonight's episode. We always have two of the funniest comedians in the world on. This week's no different. Two absolutely of our favorite people on the planet. Make some noise.

It's Eric Griffin and Steve Lee. Stevie Weeby. Here we go. Here they are. Hey, Steve. Yes. Yes. This is exciting.

It is the return of Eric Griffin. He's been on numerous times, the host of Riffin with Griffin. He's going to be at Stand Up Live in Phoenix Thanksgiving weekend, Friday and Saturday. And it is the first time for Steve Lee. Stevie Weeby, everybody. Stevie. I'm a little nervous.

He's the host of the Stevie Weeby Show. That's everywhere, and you can also find it at www.steveweebyshow.com and steveweebybandcamp.com. Check out some of his amazing music. Thank you, Tony. I'm excited that you're here, Steve. I'm very excited. Are you?

I'm a little nervous. Oh, don't be nervous. These people all love you. Right, guys? Goddamn right. Thanks for coming out. Thanks for coming out. It's a fun, supportive crowd.

Now, I don't know if you know this, Steve, but we do have a band on this show. I'm excited to hear them. Every single episode. How many of you are fans of this show? That's goddamn right. Every single episode, they commit to being different characters. We never have any idea what they're going to be. So we're all going to find out at the same time what they are tonight.

Maybe it's the return of some of their famous characters from the past. Maybe it's brand new characters that we've never seen before. Let's find out what they are tonight. Make some noise for the best stand band in the land. It's the Kill Tony Band. Jeremiah Walken, Strollberg Joel Jimenez, and Chroma Chris. Whoa. Whoa. Awesome.

Oh, wow. Awesome. Heck yeah. Awesome. Awesome. Extreme sports or something. Wow. Wow, this is very exciting.

It appears to be some type of extreme sports or something like that. Nailed it, dude. Oh, boy. What? What's going on over there? What's your name? What's up, dude? My name's Micah.

Micah? My goodness, Micah. What are you? Dude, what do you mean, man? I'm straight born and raised in California, bro. Wait, what? You guys are just California guys? Yeah, dude.

I mean, we do extreme sports. I mean, I don't even know if you want to put a label on it, but yeah, dude. Wow. Like, I'm wearing a New York hat because I'm from LA, and that's ironic. Fuck yeah, Micah. I'm glad that you're here on Rollerblades. Chroma Chris came out on a boogie board. Boogie board.

World champion boogie boarder. You're a world champ. What's your name? My name's Max. Sup? All right, Max. Well, welcome to the show. And then clearly back here we have what appears to be a Mexican stepdaughter of some kind. I know you are, but what am I, dude?

Oh, boy. The name's Josue, dude. Josue? Josue. Josue. Like in no way Josue, dude. All right. Well, this is going to be fun.

We have the whole crew up here. This is exciting stuff. David, do you want to be fun. We have the whole crew up here. This is exciting stuff. David, do you want to move that sack stand somewhere there? This system that we have is pretty sloppy. There you go. How about one more time for David Deary going around? Oh, he loves it. He loves it.

He loves it so much. So we have Micah Max and Joe Sway, California residents that are into extreme sports. It's pronounced Ho Sway, dude. How wide are you, dude? That's what I said. And we have Eric Griffin, Stevie Weeby, Brian Soundboard, and this, the

Bucket of Destiny, ladies and gentlemen. Before the show, at least 100 people signed up for the opportunity to get pulled out of this bucket. I think you know how it works. If I pull your name out, you get 60 seconds uninterrupted on this stage. You know your time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. That means wrap it up then or else you're going to bring out the angry West Hollywood bear.

Yes. There you go. That's good enough, obviously. And then we interview you. We talk with you more about your life, find out more interesting stuff about you, what makes you special. You guys ready to start tonight's show or what?

I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to be honest with you. We do this show every Monday in this room, and it's just we're not quite there with the energy in this room. Are you guys ready to start this fucking show live from the Comedy Store? Here we go.

Kill Tony. Live. From our home of the Comedy Store. And your first comedian, getting an uninterrupted 60 seconds tonight, goes by the name of Pat Griffin, everybody. Here we go. Pat Griffin.

Pat Griffin everybody here we go Pat Griffin Pat Griffin here we go oh yeah it's gonna be one of those nights baby Here we go. We're starting it off with a motherfucking bang. It's Pat Griffin, ladies and gentlemen. They tried to kill me out there on that street today. They showed me no mercy, and I had my blinkers on as I made the U-turn. Now, I just rushed over from the senior center.

The seniors and the comics all walk around asking the same question. How much time do I have? And when they give me the life, I hope it's not at I'm 78. Okay. And the way things are going, I'll be 80 by Christmas. Okay. Well, is it a minute up yet? Wow. Heck yeah.

This is a lady that knows exactly when her time is up. Pat Griffin. Hell yeah. This is a lady that knows exactly when her time is up. Pat Griffin. Hell yeah. I like your style, Pat. Welcome to the show. I love this. You have something over there, Micah? Yeah, dude.

We got riffing with Griffin over here, and she's got me stiffing with Griffin. This lady's hot. Pat, I think Micah's got a little crush on you. Are you available? You on the market? Actually, I am. Whoa. Oh, shit. Take her down the road and back again.

He reminds me of my grandson. What's that? He's like my grandson. Heck, yeah. That means you know what that means. Dude, I'm into gilforn, dude. Absolutely doodly. What would be your first move with this young whippersnapper

if you had a chance with him? You have any old school moves in the bedroom that you know how to do or something like that? The Great Depression or something like that? No, no, no. The World War II, the old... She's got that good old dust bowl, dude.

I love it. So welcome to the show, Pat. I want to drop in on her dust bowl. All right, all right. Very good, Micah. Okay, so welcome to the show, Pat. How long have you been doing stand-up comedy? I started about ten years ago,

but about four years ago, I decided to learn how to do it. Hey, I like that. Heck yeah. I'm serious. I like your style. Hey, I like that. Heck yeah. I'm serious. I like your style. You live here in Los Angeles? I live in Pleasanton, California.

I came down with Nicole Tran. Wow. Oh, that's so cool. Heck yeah. That's awesome. Lovely, lovely, lovely. So what have you been doing your whole life? You're 78 years old.

You got pulled first tonight. What have you been doing your whole life? You're 78 years old. You got pulled first tonight. What have you been doing? What's going on? Well, I actually did stand-up comedy in French this year. Oh, really? I didn't do it well, but I did it. Où les vous couchez avec quoi ce soir? Hell yeah.

What made you want to do it in French? Well, because I went to high school there, and I went back to see my friends, and I found an open mic that they had. It was booked, actually. It's not quite open. But anyway, I arranged to do it once in French and once in English two weeks later.

And I had a ball. I had an absolute ball. Yeah, that's so cool. That's awesome. Look at you, ball. I had an absolute ball. Heck yeah, that's so cool. That's awesome. Look at you, knocking it all off your bucket list. Well, there's no... Uh-oh. Graham Reaper. No, no, no, no, no, Pat.

That doesn't mean anything. So, did you have a... Dude, she thought the real Graham Reaper was here. She's literally like, oh, I gotta go. So, did you have a... Dude, she thought the real Grim Reaper was here, dude. She's literally like, oh, I gotta go. She's like, that's my time, literally, bye. Yeah, when they give you the one minute light, do you ever want to go into it, dude? She literally made that joke in her stand-up, Joel.

Oh, dude, I don't listen to old people, dude. Clearly, Joel is keeping some of that hot momentum from last week going here tonight. I don't listen to anybody over 25, dude. I love it. So, Pat, have you had any jobs in your life or anything like that? Tell us about your life, like your whole life. Do you not talk about that anymore?

I had a sweetie. Oh, yeah? What happened? He died. Oh, he did? Oh, that's sad. How long ago was that? It was four years ago when I decided to become a comic. I love that. Well, that's good.

Look at that. You filled it with something positive that you're good at and that people like. I mean, it's so fun. It's amazing. We love seeing people. I say it every episode. Different shapes and sizes and styles. We haven't had a sweet old lady on since –

I mean, well, actually, we had the Southern Bells last week, the band was. But I love your style. Very cool. What do you guys think about this young little whippersnapper, Pat Griffin? Well, listen, you made me laugh. You know what I mean? I think it's great that you're doing this right now. This is a proof that you can start at any time.

If you just continue with it, hopefully by 83, you'll be running the circuit in LA. You don't have to be afraid of anything anymore. I feel you. I really liked her energy.

No, I really did. When she came up here, I was mesmerized because her dress as well. She had enough guts to do it. I thought you were great. I loved it. Are you ticklish?

Probably not. Does it go away? Did you used Are you ticklish? Probably not. No? Does it go away? Did you used to be ticklish? Red band. I mean. All right. Yeah, Micah.

This may be a personal question, but have you kissed anybody since your sweetie? No. Would you like to? I have a lot of brothers and sisters. Have you done a non-platonic kiss? I'd freaking kiss you right here and right now, dude.

Wow, how about that? What do you think? What do you think? You want a little... This is my grandson come on give her why don't you give him a little give him a little smooch a rooney what do you guys say how does that go micah be the aggressor here so awesome i'm so glad we didn't make a scene no that was great you guys save that for later

you're going to be using that cum towel that you've been holding on to there Pat Griffin I'm telling you right now you're an instant legend on this show thank you for coming on there she goes Pat Griffin ladies and gentlemen

that's a way to get things started fuck yeah Pat hell yeah Thank you for coming on. There she goes. Pat Griffin, ladies and gentlemen. That's a way to get things started. Fuck yeah, Pat. Hell yeah. All right. Brian, don't scare the poor thing. As soon as he opened his mouth, I got nervous. Like, uh-oh.

Yeah. What is Red Band going to say? Her and Red Band are a dangerous combination because they both have two years to live. Red Band are dangerous combination because they both have two years to live. She probably has better knees than Red Band. I bet she could definitely squirt better than me. Oh, come on. Dead Band. Trash can.

Dead Band. Dead Band. Why would you give us that visual? Now all I can think about, okay. All right. I pulled another name out of the bucket. Let's keep this fun train moving along. Make some noise for Christian Wissa.

Wissa. Christian. Here we go. Yeah. Here we go. Here we go. One more time for Christian Wissa. Good evening, white people and assorted brown people. Okay, so America has a big problem. This guy is like, he's looking at me, he's like, oh man, please don't say racism.

It's not. It's fucking incels. Y'all know what incels are? They're involuntary celibates. Basically, they're losers who can't get laid. And they just shoot up the fucking place. Don't worry, I got a fucking solution. We're going to have to legalize prostitution.

Just going to have to fucking do it, man. I mean, look. If you give them, like, fucking tax credits, this shit will fucking work out. Like, for every incel that they sleep with, it's like, oh, you slept with one incel? Here's $300. Thank you. Heck yeah. Christian Wissa.

Hello. Welcome. Come on. Grab that microphone. Where are you going? Heck yeah. I like your style. Have you been on this show before?

I have not. Wow. Well, welcome. What's up, Tony? How's it going, man? It's going good, man. I like the way you look. Thank you. Bacon soda!

So welcome, welcome. How long have you been doing stand-up, Christian? I've been doing stand-up for nine months. Nine months, very good. The baby's ready to come out. And what do you do for work? I'm an equipment manager.

Yeah? What kind of equipment? That fucking giant cock you're dealing with? You know what I'm talking about? I'm just kidding. Sorry, Eric. I knew Eric would give me the because he's black look. And then it wasn't. It's just off of his swagger. Shaved head with a beard. That's always.

His swagger. Hitting the ER a little too hard, man. What? Hitting the ER a little too hard, man. Oh, yeah. Okay. So what kind of equipment? What kind of equipment are you managing?

Production equipment. So cameras, lights, that type of stuff. Oh, very cool. Heck yeah. That's awesome. So nine months in the game. It's been going good for you? It's been going. Something you've always wanted to do?

Yeah, something I definitely wanted to do. And you're born and raised here in L.A.? No, I was born in New York City. Okay, when did you come out here? Three years ago. What made you come out here? Just a job? Yeah.

Like, I graduated from UNC, and I had an internship, and it brought me out here, and I just fucking stayed. Awesome. I love it. Heck yeah. That's great. And you have any hobbies or anything like that when you're not making Maybach music? I mean, obviously eating.

That's not because he's black. That's because he looks like Rick Ross, dude. Come on. Who is black? While we're on looks, I really love your work as the Grimace. He looks like the Grimace. It's always good when you have to say that after a joke. That's how you know it worked.

And I love your work as the Taco Bell dog. Whoa, he just called you the Taco Bell dog, you fucking loser. Oh, real funny, dude. All right. Okay, okay. Dude, is it normal if Surge comes out of your dick? All right, Micah. Wow, we're just shooting half-court shots already.

20 minutes into the episode. Yeah, it's called shooting a blank, dude. All right. So, Christian, what do you do for fun? Any hobbies or anything like that? Cooking. I like to write. Just hang out at the beach.

What do you do at the beach? Watch other people have fun. No, I just play around in the water a little bit. You do? Show us on your body how far into the ocean you go. Whoa, really? All the way up to there? Yeah.

Oh, my goodness. You just play around in the water? Yeah, he takes a little rubber ducky. By yourself? You go to the beach and just wade out in the water this deep? Right. Hey, man. You know the lifeguard never takes his eyes off this one, too. Oh, shit.

That just feels creepy. You know what I mean? But all right. I love it, man. I love it. You have a girlfriend or anything like that? Nope. How long you been single for?

I've been single for five years. Wow. You on any of the dating apps or anything like that? Nope. Postmates, Uber Eats? What are we talking about? That would be an awesome addition to Uber Eats. Postmates.

Postmates is our go-to here. You can use the promo code KILLTONY and save $100 on your first month of deliveries. So are you on any of the apps? I didn't get any answer there. No, I'm not. Oh, okay. How come you just haven't? You a little bit shy in front of the ladies or something like that? You shy now.

Loosen up, man. Relax. Get that hand out of there. There you go. No, I'm not. I'm nervous as shit right now. Relax. You know what I mean?

I know a 78-year-old lady who you could fuck the shit out of. Yeah, let's do it. How many of you want to see those two fuck on stage right now? We just got word Pat Griffin has passed away. The age of 78 years old. Very sad. Can we make sure that's not true? I love it.

So the last date you went on, that was five years ago? Yeah. My goodness. Wow, your voice got deeper for that one. No, that's not the last date I went on. The last date I went on was in 2016. Whoa, Jesus. It was when I was leaving North Carolina and we were at a restaurant

and the girl turned out to be a Trump supporter. Oh, and that's when you're like, will you marry me? Fuck no. Wait, how did that come about organically? Well, I mean... Or is it a blind date and she's like, oh, no.

Actually. Yeah, go ahead. No, like, we actually met while I was at the beach with some of my friends. What? Shut the fuck up. In North Carolina? Yeah. So you were this deep in the water and she didn't know? She didn't know the rest of you

You came out of the water and she was like Oh No like no We were there for a whole week and we were hitting it off And we just went to this random town in North Carolina You were hitting it off for a week Yes And at the end of the week, she was like,

oh, and by the way, I support Trump. Basically, we were at a restaurant, and it came out. She just fucking said it. How did it come out? How did it come out? So I was talking about the real election, saying, man, this is fucking crazy, man.

What the fuck is Donald Trump doing in the race? Right. And she was like, oh, I believe in him. I was like, the fuck? It's a white girl? Right. And she's like, oh, I believe in him. I was like, the fuck? It's a white girl? Yeah. Yeah. And so now how do you feel about things?

Now that it's years later and the economy's booming, how do you feel about that? We've been pulled out of all the wars that we were stuck in. How do you feel about it now? Yo, I feel fucking great about it. She has like two kids now. Wow. She went and two kids now. Wow. She went and made those Trump.

Those Trump people love making babies. Helps the economy. Thank you. The president's actually on the line. Mr. President, what do you think about what do you think about this guy on stage? I assume we're good people. Hey, that's interesting. I like that.

That's very good. Wow. My goodness. What did you think about his performance on stage, his 60 seconds? How did you feel about that? Nope. Oh, wow. Mr. President.

My goodness. You guys have any opinions on Christian? I actually liked his set a lot because you talked about incels hey there you go that means a lot to me I'm an incel too but I have a girlfriend

but I used to be an incel just like you I'm not saying you are I never said I wasn't fucking sorry I didn't mean to offend you Just like you. Yo, I'm not an incel. I never said I wasn't fucking. Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. But I like that you brought up incels, that's all. Steve has no idea what an incel is.

I do, I do. You have no idea! An incel is a person who voluntarily can't get sex, yeah. So when you say you've been fucking, what do you mean exactly? This is breaking news. Well, you know, like I go out to a bar, say a couple jokes to a girl, she laughs, and then we... Wow, what jokes do you do on the girls that you didn't do here tonight? Well, it was more of a conversation, really, like the flow of conversation type stuff.

He was an advocate for prostitution, so, you know what I mean? Right, that's true. So you've been fucking. You have any special moves in the bedroom or anything like that? Anything you like to do? You go to third base first or anything like that? Any like 360 big spins or anything like that?

You have any special maneuvers that you do or things that, tricks that you could teach us? Yeah, like any clit flips or anything like that? Yeah, we got that. Micah, how about you with an answer on the question? Special moves? Nah, man, I just kind of work the pussy until they come. What do you mean?

When you say work the pussy, like what do you mean? With my mouth. You have it like carry production equipment you mean? With my mouth. You have it carry production equipment for you? With your mouth. So you actually go down, go downtown. Yeah. It's the only way it works, man. But only to eye level, dude.

There you go. How about one more time for him, everybody? It's Christian Wisse. Wisse. He's all one word, Christian Wisse. Wisse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey.

All right. Pulled another name out. Make some noise for Rachel D, everyone. Rachel D. Wow. The comedian section gave a little pop there. Whoa, she's going over tables. Here she comes.

One more time for her. It's Rachel D. I suffer from resting nice face yeah you guys I can't even say fuck you you know yeah without someone going oh that's adorable yeah it's I think it's because I'm from the midwest Anybody else from the Midwest? All right, all right. You guys know them. Midwesterners are known for a few things, right? Like consuming way too much butter and meth and being too nice. Growing up in Missouri,

nobody tells you you're white trash. You got to figure that shit out on your own, you know? Like, I just thought every childhood vacation destination was to really cool bars where you could take your kids. I really wish there had been, like, a white trash coming out party or something, you know? Like, we didn't have a white trash quinceañera. Okay, we do have 16 and pregnant. We got that. All right, thanks, guys. Rachel D.

There you go. Rachel D. Welcome back, Rachel. Thanks, hi. You're famous on this show. It's been a long time. You are the famously hot teacher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are the famously hot teacher.

You still a teacher? I substitute teach now. Oh, heck yeah. Yeah. My goodness. How do you keep the kids' attention? Do they heckle you? Do they hit on you and stuff? I got a boner! Again? Alright.

I mean, not usually. On occasion they do. Actually, last week the guys, I was teaching junior high, eighth graders and all of the guys were like yo, is it hot in here? I feel like we should turn the AC

on. I was like, oh that's adorable, right? There you go. I was like oh that's adorable right that's about it though they don't you know very interesting now you said you're from the Midwest yeah yeah I'm from Missouri okay and then what did you say about

New Jersey? Nothing oh okay I just heard I heard New Jersey at one point must have been two words clanking together. So Missouri was what I heard. Okay. And what do your parents do? Both my parents are in the military.

Ah, what branch? Air Force. Ooh, okay. So they were nice, too. That's fun. And remind us what hobbies you have, like when you're not substitute teaching or doing stand-up comedy.

I like to go hiking. I like to do camping. I do fly fishing. Where do you go camping at? I haven't been camping since I've been out to L.A., but when I was... How long have you been in L.A.? Since March.

Since March. Yeah. Where were you before that? San Francisco. Oh, okay. So you live in LA? Since March. Since March. Yeah. Where were you before that? San Francisco. Oh okay. So you live here now. Yep. Full time.

Yep. So you haven't been camping. Have you been hiking? Yeah like up to the Hollywood sign Griffith Park. Yeah. You do anything fun? Like when you're hiking

people give that answer. I've never really understood it. Is camping fun? When is camping fun? Yeah it's okay for like a day. I don't know. I lived in Alaska for 10 years, so we did a lot of camping.

Oh, wow. Why did you move to Alaska for 10 years? Well, my parents were in the Air Force, so we just kind of moved wherever all the time. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's fun. You ever make like an igloo or anything like that?

My first grade teacher was Inuit, but I did not make an igloo. No, no. She got like a Sarah Palin look to her. Yeah, the Alaskans, they have that. I could not see Russia from my house, though, you know. All right. Yeah, couldn't see it. So let's ask the real question that everybody wants to know.

How many of your students have you had sex with? Just ballpark it. You know what I mean? Maybe that's even where it happened. You know, I love that question so much. I get it all the time. Four. Four is the answer, right?

Yeah, no, it's really not. It's upsetting, but I do get that question all the time. But you have had a thought. There is like sometimes. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. What's the best pickup move? Has any of the kids been like really made a move like after they stayed after class and they were like, yo.

I think. Just want to holler at you for the second teacher. I mean, they left me cute little notes and stuff, but I think the best was two guys thought it would be hilarious to promposal me at a pep rally. They thought that that would be cute. Did you

say no? Well, I ended up in the principal's office. They were like, why would they feel like they needed to do that? I was like, because they're teenage boys. Oh, my God. So you had sex with them in the principal's office. Wait.

Was the principal, is the principal a woman? No. Okay, I'm surprised. Usually not, unfortunately. Well, I mean, you know. Yeah. The head of the household should be. I'm kidding.

Kidding. Fuck you. I'm just saying, if I was in high school and you were my teacher. You would do nothing, honey. I would have a secret crush on you. I'm just saying, I would have a secret crush on you. But that's not true because I'd go home and I would probably masturbate too. He would masturbate.

I would masturbate to you. Have you ever gotten a homework assignment? I totally would. Have you ever gotten a sticky homework assignment? I'm sorry. I would. Nobody? Nobody has ever done that?

Okay. Sorry. Has any kid had a make-a-wish and he's like, I got it. Alright, Micah. What the fuck just happened there? Sometimes he just starts and thinks

he's gonna write it in the moment. No, like the make-a-wish is having sex with her but nobody else filled in the blank so I just let it be, dude. Alright. Right. Okay. What is your actual love life like? Rachel, you have a boyfriend?

No. You go on dates? No. Last date you went on, you told the guy you were a Trump supporter? Last date I almost went on, I was excited about it. The guy was like a CEO of a company. I was like, all right, why doesn't this guy have a girlfriend already? Right, right.

But then I Googled him, and he just got out of prison. Wow. I know. What was the company? I can't remember the company, but it was for copyright infringement. It was like why he went to prison. Oh, you like bad boys. So you didn't go on the date?

No. You canceled the date because he went to prison? No, he actually ghosted me, guys. Wow. If I was one of your students, I'd never ghost you. Maybe he Googled you. Is there something that you want to let us know? I don't know.

Maybe he found out my age. I think he might have found out my age. Oh. I think he might have found out my age. Oh, come on, Rachel. A lot of times, like, yeah, no, really. A lot of times,

like, that happens. I don't think age is really a decider. I know three guys on this stage that would fuck Pat Griffin if given the chance. Pat!

Fuck you. Well, Rachel, you did it again. Another fun set. Thank you. Good to see you back set It's been a while One more time for Rachel D Rachel D

Rachel D You guys having fun out there? Jeez What a lackluster response that is The whole back of the room just staring at me like a bunch of fucking bums. What is this? What is this? Okay.

Put your hands together for your next meeting. This looks like a new name. Zohen Verani. Zohen or Zoheb, perhaps? Perhaps. Step back from that ledge. Step back, my friend Here we go One more time, good and loud for Zoheb Varani.

So I've been dating recently, and I went on a date with this woman, and she said to me, I want to have a kid. I don't want to be the one that carries it. And my mom's agreed to be my surrogate. That's right, she is progressive. And I was like, yo, you're coming in real hot on a third date here Emily but out loud I was like so when do I get to sleep with your mom look I'm no motherfucker but I will earn it

I have had a stye in my eye recently and um yeah so for those of you that don't know excuse me for those of you that don't know, a stye is like a bacterial infection in your eyelid. So it's kind of like a pimple except for that it keeps coming back. It's actually more like herpes for your eyelid.

I want to be clear to the single woman in the audience, I don't have herpes. I definitely don't have herpes. I've been doing a lot of eye fucking lately though. Don't worry, I use protection. My contacts are always in.

All right, that's about it. Zoheb. Not bad. Don't worry, I use protection. My contacts are always in. Zoheb. Not bad. Heck yeah. Am I saying that right? Zoheb? It's Zoheb. Zoheb.

I go by Zo. That's easier usually. Zeb? Zo. Z-O. Z-O. Okay. We'll go with Zo.

What did you guys think of Zo? Any initial thoughts on Zoe's performance? I liked the subject matter. I liked the herpes and the stye in your eye was pretty good. You like the herpes? It was good. Well, the thing is, he came prepared. Yeah. Yes, he did.

You got to give it for that. I feel like you've been doing it a little bit, right? How long have you been doing this? About a year. Yeah, it feels like a year. All right. No, it's not bad. You got your jokes in line.

You knew what you want to do. You know what you want to say. You just got to keep doing it. Don't be so uncomfortable. And you'll get there. So, Zoe, you've been doing it a year. What ethnicity are you? So, I'm...

Are you about to lie right now? No, no, of course not. No, no, no. There was a big pause there. Well, my whole background is always a bit confusing. So my dad's Pakistani and my mom's an Indian Ugandan. Oh, my God. Wow.

How is racism always queued up? I'm just kidding. Is that the app? It's the racist app, yeah. Wow. So your dad is Pakistani. Do you ever go back to any of these countries and visit? No.

The last time I went to Pakistan was when I was four years old. Yeah. What was that like? I pissed on a pole. That's all I remember. Wow. Isn't that what everybody does there? Basically, yeah.

Isn't that the Four Seasons at Pakistan? Welcome to the Four Seasons. Piss on a pole. Come on in. You're room number 511. Okay. Well, that's fun. Do you ever go to India, Uganda, or anything like that?

I went to Kenya recently. It's really hard for me to get into India because I'm half Pakistani, so getting a visa is practically impossible. It takes like six months to a year. Right, right. Yeah, you can't get a visa. You have to go with a MasterCard or something like that. Discover. Yeah, American Express would be better, I guess. What do you do for work, though? What kind of computer work do you do? I work for LinkedIn I do sales for them

I do sales! I do sales! I don't code anymore You sit behind a computer Heck yeah Have you ever really iFucked somebody? Because that's one of my things that I love to do and I've never heard anyone ever talk about

eye fucking what do you love to do Brian you open your eye like this and then you have your girl open your eye like this and you touch eyes and you wiggle it around it's really cool

yeah absolutely disgusting what the fuck what so you don't it's like that if you're interested in sleeping 14 hours a day

you should eye fuck your significant other, too. Okay, so, Zoe, let's talk about it. You have any fun Pakistani hobbies? You ever get the urge to throw rocks or anything like that while walking down the street? Oh, that's what they fucking do. Damn it. Eric, you're frightening this audience.

I didn't say anything. Is this the racist show? What is that, racism? Wait, you're frightening this audience. I didn't say anything. Is this the racist show? What is that, racism? Wait, I said it one time. I think we're projecting right now, I think. I make one good rock throwing joke, and they all, look, this guy's walking out. Seriously, you ever throw any rocks?

No. Except for when I'm playing cricket. Hey, look at that. I thought you guys ate crickets. I didn't realize you played them. Wrong part of it. Hey, look at that. I thought you guys ate crickets. I didn't realize you played them. Wrong part of it. Oh, you did it again. You really play cricket?

With my uncles over Thanksgiving usually, yeah. Wow, yeah, that's some different stuff. What else do you do for fun? I dance a lot, actually. Really? What kind of music do you like to dance to?

Oh, look at this. It's actually usually more hip-hop. Okay, let's cue up some music. Okay. That's it. How did you know? That's beautiful.

We got a full routine. I'm going to tell you right now, Zoe. I almost lifted him up. Who's your favorite hip-hop artist? Kanye. Okay, very good decision. I like that. One of the top young rising artists in the world.

So yeah. Let's do yeah. You could do really any of that. You could do let's go here and then how about this? I'm so scared right now. Could you go over there and help them with that? Something like that. Would you like me to fix that for you? Maybe on the slower end of that one, because that's

going to be a faster song. How about that? How many of you want to see Zo dance right now? Whoa! Whoa! Wow! Oh my goodness. Wow! Wow That was very impressive

Wow My knee hurts just looking at that Yeah that was very agile A bunch of sand fell out of his jeans up here You can't see it Oh my goodness He can't see it. Oh, my goodness. Oh, man. Throw a rock at him right now.

That would be so epic. If after all this, he pulled one out of his pocket. My goodness, that is awesome. You have a girlfriend, right? No, I'm actually talking to a couple different women right now. Whoa. With dance moves like that, I can see why. Do they know?

No. So did you tell them you were going to be on Kill Tony tonight? Nope. All right. I didn't know I was going to be on Kill Tony, you know? Right. But you had the chance. Look at you.

Yeah. Well, they're both in the East Coast, so. Oh, look at you. But you're not really in a role. You're not really talking to them. Literally, that's all he's doing. He's just talking with two girls. It's MSN Messenger, you know?

I love it. Heck yeah. MSN? He's doing tech support at LinkedIn. He's like, I'll get you up and running. One in the LinkedIn, two in the Stinkton. How you doing back there? How you doing back there?

How you doing back there, Joe Sway? Oh, you know, just back here, just being gnarly, dude. Dude, still, it's Ho Sway. Oh, Ho Sway, dude. You keep saying Joe Sway, and you're like, that's what I've been saying. It's like, dude, that's why I said you're white at the top of the show. You can't even say it. Oh, okay.

Ho Sway. Very good. I got it. Wow. Well, Zo. Are you from New Jersey, dude? Me? Yeah, okay. Ho suay. Very good. I got it. Wow. Well, Zo. Are you from New Jersey, dude? Me? Yeah, dude.

No, no. I'm actually from all over the south, actually. Okay, cool. Very good. All over the south? Blank, blank. Yeah, born in Houston, raised in South Carolina, college in Georgia. That's what happens when you're Pakistani.

They tell you to get the fuck out of their town, and you have to move a lot. 9-11 was tough, okay? Zoe, I like your style, man, for a year in. You're working it. You know what I mean? You have beats. You're executing. You're performing, and you have a lot to talk about.

Thanks, man. There you go. Zoe Hebb Verani, ladies. Zoe! Zoe! Yeah. Zohabrani. Okie dokie.

Fuck yeah. All right. Very good. Jesus. Pulled another name out of the bucket. Let's keep it going for Nicholas Ruvensky. Nicholas Ruvensky. Hey! Let's keep it going for Nicholas Rubinsky. Nicholas Rubinsky. Hey!

Here he comes. You guys having fun out there? How about just the second level? You guys having fun up there? Listen how bad that is. One more time for Nicholas Ravinsky. Holy shit.

I just got invited by my best friend. He works with some of the movie studios. He invited me to this red carpet event for that movie, what's it called? Doctor Sleep. It's like I went into this movie. I was wrong. I think it turned out to be a horror movie.

I thought I was going to be watching a documentary on the Bill Cosby trial but I guess I got a different kind of horror you know but I think that was the way for him because after the movie we went for some coffee he's like you know what I got something to tell you I got six months to get to live his dying wish is for me to spread his ashes all over Fiji Islands dude you get to die and you're gonna send me on an errand halfway you know around the world to spread your ashes are you gonna leave the money for the airfare the cremation process the Airbnb that shit gets expensive if you don't leave the money I'm just gonna FedEx the shit out of your ashes you know it's like me even in death

that's a shitty friend. Even in death, I'm trying to help you. If I'm dying, I'm like, you know what? Cremate me, but keep the ashes. We live in LA. You might have a house fire. You just grab the ashes. You put the fire out. Not only I'm not sending

you on an errand halfway around the world, I'm also saving your home. Thanks, man. There you go, Nicholas Ravinsky. Heck yeah, man. Doing it. Absolutely. Look at you. I like your style, man.

You're a badass motherfucker. You look tough as shit, huh? Yeah, I'm scared. Let me guess. You used to be a CEO, went to prison for trademark infringement? No. No.

I had a bunch of pawn shops. No, I'm just kidding. A bunch of pawn shops. They look like pawn shops like stars, you know. You do, yeah. There's definitely something there. This guy's got tattoos down his... I got a guitar, I got another saxophone if you might give me this discount. Where do you have the... Oh, okay, at your fake pawn shop.

I got you. There you go. I didn't know the Aryan Nation had a bowling team. Hey. I got a bunch a bowling team. Hey. I got a bunch of bowling balls. Oh. Where's your accent from? The iceberg has thawed out a little. The iceberg has melted.

The return of Joelberg. It's been a two-week stretch. The whole crew's been talking about it. He is back. How about a hand for Joel Berg back there on the drums? I had a question. Yeah, Steve. Is your accent Italian or is it Israeli?

What kind of salad dressing is it? Italian, Russian? No, I'm from the south. Really? Yeah. The real south. Really? Yeah. The real south. Armenia? Argentina.

Oh. The real south. For those, you know, that's the place of the world where the sun don't shine. That's where the Nazis fled after the war. I was right. I was friends with him, and I'm half Jewish. Are you really half Jewish? Yes, sir.

Oh, my goodness. My grandfather was Jewish. He left Poland. He hated his mother, so he went to Argentina and married a Catholic woman. I've never met a Jew that loved his mother, so that makes sense. That's why. That's it. That's the joke that'll cost me a job, by the way, if you're wondering.

The sand falling out of the guy's pant leg, the rock, Rick Ross, none of it. That's the one. Oy, man, he's a dangerous character. All right. Actually, that's the one that'll cost me the job. So, Nicholas, what are you into, man? What do you do for work?

I drive Uber during the day. That's how I get my material. Hell yeah. I love it, man. What do you do for fun? You seem like the kind of guy that has a lot of fun. I do this for fun. I piss people off on the Uber telling jokes. That's why I started getting a lot of one-star ratings lately. Yeah.

What kind of car are you driving for the Uber? I got a Honda Civic. Ooh, man. That's a tight squeeze. Not really. Do you have your picture on the Uber thing? They have my picture. I don't have the writer's pictures. Otherwise, I'd be like, I'm not taking you.

You're ugly as fuck. You're not getting in my car. Nobody's gotten scared when they've gotten to your car. He has a scarf on. You have neck tattoos. I have a 78-year-old lady got in my car. I think she was somewhere around here. She got scared. You look like if Jeff Ross went to prison. Wow. I think he actually somewhere around here. She got scared. You look like if Jeff Ross went to prison.

I think he actually went to prison. Wow. Look who's back. I know. Oh, he's a Joel Berging up. And lost weight. That'd be great, right? Wow.

Yeah, 15%. The gross master general over here. I like it. So, wow. Where'd you get all the tattoos? What's the story with that? I used to play music for a number of years. Yeah, what'd you play?

What kind of music did you play? I played everything. Rock, jazz, blues. What instruments? I'm a guitar player. Just guitar? Bass, drums, whatever. You play the drums?

A little bit. Really? Yep. You know what? It's been a long time. We got to do it. It's been a long time, but I think we should have a Mexican drum off right now. Why don't you throw that in the mic stand, jump behind that drum set.

Now, let me explain to you how this works, Nicholas. Get back there. You know, have you ever seen a Mexican drum off on Kill Tony? No. Okay, so get back there. Sit on the stool. There's a microphone back there. So here's how it works, Nicholas.

Ooh, I like his style. He's throwing his phone and his wallet on the ground. He's getting cozy. No, you're good. I get it. You don't have to explain it. So Nicholas is sitting down. So, Nicholas, you have a chance to become the full-time drummer on this show.

You can travel around the world with us doing sold-out theater. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, wow. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait a second. Little tease. A little tease.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, hey. Settle down, Nicholas. Hold on. So here's how it works. You're going to do a drum solo of any kind. You know what I mean? You're going to play around for, you know what I mean? 20 seconds to, you know, 50 seconds or something like that. Now you get to do whatever you want. You could be funny if you want. You could just do that. You could take off your shirt if you want. could just do that you could take off your shirt if you want you could do whatever you want uh because joel goes crazy he's undefeated all time in this i think he's like 31 and oh he's floyd mayweather of mexican drum offs if you win you're the new drummer of the show you're the newest member of kill tony now if he went in and and and and also

if you win he has to have your job he He has to drive a Honda Civic for UberX. So here we go, ladies and gentlemen, live from the Comedy Store, I present to you a Mexican drama. Here he is, Nicholas Ruvinsky. Oh, what's going on there? Wow. Nicholas Ravinsky. All right.

It wasn't very Mexican. Chroma, can you fix that symbol? I don't know. It seemed like Joel sort of sabotaged him there. What happened there? What's going on? I don't know who did what over there. That's the type of...

It's okay, Nicholas. It's all right. It's worth it because now Joel comes out and everybody has fun for a couple minutes. All right, Nicholas. Jump out of there. Jump out. All right. You guys know how it works.

He's undefeated all time in this. He said that he will kill himself before losing a Mexican drum off on this stage. The reigning, defending, undefeated drummer of Kill Tony. This is a special thing that we very rarely get to do at the home shows anymore. I present to you a Mexican drum off. This is Joel Burke, Joel Jimenez. And here we go! He's got a Pringles can on the purple dildo!

Oh my goodness. Absolutely incredible. Let's see what happens. I'm ready to commit a hate crime. Wow. It looks like it. He has the purple dildo on. He has the dildo from Sacramento on his head. Here to defend his throne. You got a loose

symbol up there. Almost seems like you set up late and last minute without... Shut up, Tony! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, defending his throne, the one and only Joel Berg-Jolimanez. Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. I mean, absolute overkill, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, he's sucking his own dildo. His feet are over his head. He put the dildo in his mouth. He's still going. He's dancing like a Pakistani Ugandan up here.

Wow. This is... What the fuck just happened? Yeah, I'll tell you right now. What just happened? My goodness. Wow. I wish I could go back in time and bet on him on mybookie.ag using the code Tony.

Get some of that lube for that dildo. You play, you win, you get paid. How many of you have Nicholas Ravinsky winning this drum off? How many of you have Joel Burt, Joel Jimenez retaining staying undefeated? Wow.

There it is. The Kill Tony band. Another one. Another victory. There goes Nicholas, everybody. One more time for Nicholas Ravinsky, everyone. Heck yeah. Wow. Wow. Everything's in a frenzy right now. And what better time to do something special?

Do you guys like special things, huh? This is one of those special moments right here where we had something very fun happen and swing through town here today. She is an absolute legend on this show. She was on just her first time, was only just months ago, and then she made new appearances at Kill Tony Mania in San Francisco and absolutely tore

the house down. She's here for us here tonight, a very special treat. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the one and only Nicole Tran. Hell yes. Cold-blooded assassin, ladies and gentlemen. Come on, make some noise for Nicole Tran. Nicole Tran. Chơi hãy chậm lại đường gươm cho con được nhìn mặt cha

Lần sau cuối rồi lát nữa đây con sẽ Please feel free to sing along if you know the words I won a beauty contest for girls who speak bad English I'm now the brand new 2019 Miss Pronounced. When I first started driving, I got a ticket for driving 100 miles an hour. I said to the cop, hey man, what you talking about? The sign says 101. I visited Chinatown here in LA. Chinese people are very organized. They always have all their ducks in a row.

these people are very organized. They always have all their ducks in a row. Wow. Wow. A 1,000% slugging percentage on this show all time. The great Nicole Tran. You've never

had a joke flatline on this show. You are something else. It's fun to be here, man. We always love you here, Nicole. This show works perfectly for people like you and you work perfectly for it. This is lovely.

So you came here today, we found out earlier, with Pat Griffin, right? Yes. What was that? Which one of you drove? This is a very scary situation. Very weird Thelma and Louise situation. Thelma and Louise.

Hey, you like that one? Alright. Clearly we found out that Eric hates Asians the most. There you go. We got him. Steve's got a boner over here right now. Yeah. I really liked you, though. I really did.

We got on a Vietnamese bus, and it cost only $15. American bus cost $30. But on the Vietnamese bus, people in the bus have to carry two chickens. What? What? What the fuck? You are the greatest.

Wow. She's the goat. She's literally the goat. It's unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable. So, Nicole, you're coming fresh off of Kill Tony Mania. An unbelievable performance. It was so powerful that we had you cold open the final show of the weekend.

We put you on back-to-back episodes. Guaranteed spots. Anything cool happen since the last time we saw you in your normal life? Anything interesting happen? Or you do anything wacky or crazy or anything? Oh, as you know, in my spare time, I love fashion design. That's my hobby. And look at this. This is a $10 dress and a $50 girdle.

Oh, what? $50 girdle. What? $50 girdle? Girdle? It's all about the girdle. Did she just say a Pokemon? What was that? Can Stevie translate, please? I need a... You didn't catch that, Stevie?

Steve doesn't speak nail salon. Catch that, Stevie? Steve doesn't speak nail salon. Hey. Yeah. When I walk into the black clubs, all the black women goes, uh-oh, somebody forgot to pay the bill at the nail salon. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I love you so much. Wow. Micah. Crowd's going wild. Pure momentum here. Coming off of Joel Berg's big win on the Mexican drum off. Micah, what do you think about this young little pot pie

over here, Nicole Tran? Hi, Blondie. Dude, she loves Chroma Chris, dude. Oh, is that true? Yeah, the blonde hair and the blue eyes. That's what she likes. Oh, wow. Chroma, what do you think about this piece of...

We'll just say a reel won't be the only thing I'd grind tonight. Wow. Hello. Chroma Chris. What? this. Peace out. We'll just say a rail won't be the only thing I'd grind tonight. Hello. Chroma Chris. What? Red Band's playing the Kiss Me music. Nicole, you want to give Chroma Chris a little kiss? Sure. Whoa. This is exciting.

Wow. Chroma's going right up there. Oh, shit. There's a little hug. Heck yeah. Chris is the only guy that does foreplay before giving a kiss. What is happening? They're doing Tai Chi.

Oh, my goodness. This is like one of those videos on Pornhub that come up. The anticipation is killing me right now. I have no idea what's going to happen. Hey, Tony, can I ask Stevie Weeby a question? Sure. Perfect time for that. Yeah, that's great.

No reason to just ruin the whole thing we were just doing. There's a whole thing going on right now in this moment. But, okay, sure. What's your question that you want to shoehorn into this? Thanks for the great setup. Back to you, dude. Well, I mean, it wasn't a setup. We were in the middle of something. There's Chris and Nicole Tran. They go back to it.

It's all good, dude. They weren't kissing yet, so we can play the music and get right back into it. I think it's pretty easy. No, it's not. There was literally something happening right then. What was your question for Stevie Weeby? Here's a great setup. Go ahead with your question for Stevie Weeby? Here's a great setup. Go ahead with your question for Stevie Weeby. Jeremiah Weapons, it's Michael with a question.

Since this is going to do so well, dude, with this super supportive cast. Yes. Oh! I was going to ask Stevie Weeby if he thinks this is a good look or a bad look for Asian people. There you go. I like her.

I didn't like the Chinese music. I thought that was going a little bit too far. That was Kiss Me. That's from Sixpence and I'm the Richer. You went a little too far with that. We'll talk after. You went a little too far with it. It's Sixpence and I'm the Richer.

No, no, a little bit. A little bit. The Chinese music. Do you have a boyfriend? All that shit, man. Do you have a boyfriend, Nicole? Yeah. I only dated blue-eyed white guys.

Is that true? All right, back to you. You currently have a boyfriend? No, I don't. No? But the last guy I dated worked at a racetrack cleaning up after horses.

I always look for a man with a stable job. You're so cute. On fire. Like, just ready. Yeah. She just... She can walk the walk and talk the talk.

God. My goodness. The punster over here, man. I'm telling you. Wow. He shows rocks, man. I'm telling you. Wow. This show's rocks, man. Nicole, one of our favorite things that we've had you do

since your first appearance on this show is have you sing a little song. Can you sing a short, quick song for us? Just a little something. She has an unbelievable, very special voice.

Just a little something to show this audience what you're made out of. Here is Nicole Tran with a little song for you. to show this audience what you're made out of. Here is Nicole Tran with a little song for you. Jimmy, please say you wait for me. I grow up some days, you see.

Saving all my kisses just for you. Stay with love forever true. There you go. The great Nicole Tran, ladies and gentlemen. An unstoppable force and one of our favorite people that we've discovered this year here on Kill Tony. How about one more time for Nicole, ladies and gentlemen? There she goes. We love you, Nicole.

Come back as soon as possible. Oh, hold on a second. And by the way, I don't have a green car. Please do not tell anybody that you saw me here tonight. You know, Tony, if you like Nicole, I'm doing a new Brian Holtzman podcast at Death Squad, and she's the guest tomorrow. So tune in tomorrow

at 2 o'clock. DeathSquad.tv. There you go. Amazing. It's unbelievable. Oh, okie dokie. Yep, there you go. Live show. Fuck yeah. Pulled another name out of the bucket. Make some noise for Johan Nash, everybody. Johan Nash.

Johan Nash, everybody. Johan Nash. Johan. No Johan? You know what? Yeah, we have momentum. We can always go back to the bucket. Let's do something fun. We have regulars on this show, ladies and gentlemen.

Your first regular coming up tonight, very polarizing figure. I absolutely love him. A lot of people hate him. He has a definitive style of lying and improvising and sort of using his own branding. Sometimes he is known for pandering to get an audience on his side and then going into some of his hard-hitting brand-new material. With a new minute every single week, the regulars are always something to keep an audience on his side and then going into some of his hard-hitting brand new material. With a new minute every single week, the regulars are always something to keep an eye on, always a force of nature in the comedy world here on Kill Tony.

Make some noise for William Montgomery, everybody. Here he is. Here he is. So after What's going So after last week After my Shark Week joke My life has really changed I was on $100,000 pyramid

I was On Jeopardy I was on Jeopardy. I was on You Name It. I was on it. I'm opening up next week for not only Cat Williams, but Cat Stevens. I don't know if y'all were able to see last year, the Troll Godfather

spoiler alert. It's not about the mafia. It's about trolls! Trolls! Wow. William with a new minute. Heck yeah, William. How do you feel, pal?

I feel all right. It's been a long week. Yeah, why has it been a long week for you? I'm the new spokesperson for Dial Soap. I was in Sacramento two nights ago. How'd you get that gig? How'd you end up getting the spokesmanship? They saw my hands from the show. Oh, wow.

Look at that. Is there a hand model? I am, if you want to call it that. All right. What do you call it? I call it a model? I am, if you want to call it that. What do you call it? I call it a model. Just a regular model? Just a straight up model.

Unless someone asks specifically what kind of model, you just go with the broad answer. I'm a model. I'm a professional model. I'm a model. They focus in on my hands. I mess a lot with rings. I do... Heck yeah.

I noticed that you didn't say anything really to get the audience on your side, which has been a device that has worked a lot as of late. Is there a reason why you didn't open up Guns Ablazin' with a local reference or anything like that? I was going to start out with a... I'm from Memphis.

There's a wonderful sushi place called Nagasaki. I was going to open up with that. Well, good thing you didn't, clearly. Good thing you didn't. Montez, what's going on? Normally I'm killing it. You realize that Montez... It has turned into a nightmare up here.

I'm totally on edge. I had to move to a new apartment. I was in Sacramento two nights ago. I didn't sleep for three days. I took ecstasy. I was at the Dial headquarters. Where is the Dial headquarters? Outside of Sacramento on Phillips Street.

Phillips and 2nd. Now, you called him Montez. Now, William, you do realize that Eric Griffin just plays a character named Montez. The guy you see on Workaholics isn't an actual guy that's here. He's an actor. This is Eric Griffin. Do you know this william eric it is so nice to be on the stage with you tonight i saw you at a show with the improv in

a couple nights you're so sweet to let me open up for you did you just did you just invite yourself have you ever you're so nice i totally appreciate it my dad's worried about me. He's like, William, your comedy thing is going down the drain. You're losing momentum on Kill Tony. Steve Lee, this is your first time seeing William Montgomery. You have any thoughts? He's awkward, but

I like him a lot. You are a little awkward because you said troll. You kept saying troll and you kept looking at Eric. Nicely done, Steve. You passive-aggressive little fuck. Wow. William, anything else happen this week that we should know about?

I'm currently filming for a new show called Ghost Stories. It's on TNT. I'm getting a bunch of money. Did you say TMT? TNT, Turner... Network Television. It's based out of

Atlanta, Georgia. What are you playing in the Ghost Stories show? A ghost. Oh, wow. Is it not just your hands, though? It's my whole body. Your whole body this time. show? A ghost. Oh, wow. Is it not just your hands, though? Are you like a hand ghost? It's my whole body. Your whole body this time.

What kind of ghost? What do you do on it? You come out from under the bed? It's at a skating rink. I'm skating really fast on my roller blades. Wow. I died there ten years before. Just really fast. There's a really good video editor. Sort of

makes me translucent. Really cool. Y'all tune in TNT next Thursday 9 o'clock. Alright. I'm gonna... Everybody's gonna... What the fuck was that? Wow. Red Band, this is probably my best set and you're really gonna fuck it up like that?

Best set? The last hour? What? He's so mad he even broke character to tell him off. This is all in one thing. Let me ask you something, William. Okay, about... William, let me ask you something about your physical appearance here.

Now, we've had a lot of talks about this and about that. There appears to be some serious swelling going. Oh wait a second. Is he doing his trademark wink? The audience loves it. Look at

this. They're going crazy. This works every time. I think the people that really love it are the comics over there. They're just thinking, who's this dumbass? Why are they taking my time? Hey, gave them a little wink. They love it. They absolutely love it.

Old wink Martindale over here. Was that a wink? Hey! It was a blink. Wow. Did you get me to go completely off track changing the subject about the fact that you look like you're 10 months pregnant right now, William? Tony, I'll have you know I purchased this shirt two months ago on eBay. It was $500.

This is a collector's piece. Uh-huh. You're the only person I know where the podcast adds 10 pounds. This is bad, isn't it? It's getting a little out of control. Tony, I'm going to ask you a question. Is your liver right here? Yeah, that's definitely a tapeworm or something.

No, that's not how tapeworms work. It's recently been hurting me. That's the wrong direction. Tapeworms would take fat away from him. Well, they'll get fat while they're eating all this fat. No. No, I mean, literally, I was at Chili's two nights ago drinking margaritas, pounding them,

and my liver started hurting, I think. I'm worried. Point directly to where the pain was. Oh. Yeah, that's not your liver. That's closer to... It's probably the beginning of a heart attack, actually. It's your baby kicking.

Don't bring me in this. William, I mean, what is going on there? What have you been doing? It's getting massively bigger. I see you every week, and it's only that part, too. It's not like your face or your arms. You know what I mean? Like, Red Band gets thick all over his entire body.

Mostly my thighs. Like, you... What'd you just fucking say? Mostly your thighs? I'm sorry, yeah, weak thighs. That's why you're up here. You're funny. There you go.

There you go. What was that? He got you. He just got you go. There you go. What was that? He got you. He just got you with a compliment. That was weird. William Montgomery, we absolutely love you.

He's on the show every week. There he is. Another brand new minute from William Montgomery. Now, I will have you know, William, can you set the mic stand up all the way properly and everything?

Instead of just leaving it like a hand model. Look at that hand. Look at those. Absolutely. There he goes. All right. Heck yeah. There he goes. Heck yeah There he goes Heck yeah

Heck yeah Jeremiah literally playing William off Always something fun to keep an eye on Is the way Jeremiah reacts to William Yeah, what's that about, huh? Um, yeah Sexual tension A real tension between you guys? Something fun for the listeners the way Jeremiah reacts to William. Yeah, what's that about, huh? Yeah. Sexual tension. A real tension between you guys?

Something fun for the listeners. But he did look like he was living in an African village for a year. Speaking of an African village, we have another regular on this show. He writes and performs A Brand New Minute every single week. He's an absolute fucking firestorm sensation.

Every single week, a brand new minute. And he's a roast machine. I love this guy. I believe in him greatly. He's also the brand spanking newest employee here at the World Famous Comedy Store, a position that many great comedians have held. David Letterman, Jim Carrey,

Robin Williams. And here he is with a brand new minute, the one and only David Lucas, everybody. There he is. David Lucas. Yeah. Come on. One more time good and loud for David, everybody. David.

It looks like Harriet Tubman is officially going to be on the face of the 20. That shit is going to make drug purchases hard as fuck. Can you imagine going to buy your crack or your weed and a nigga give you a Harriet Tubman 20? Like, damn, nigga, I can't take this tub. You ain't got two tens or some shit? I'm just saying, man, like, you kind of disrespectful. You want to give me a Harriet Tubman, nigga. Like, I know you got four fives.

Who the fuck is you? I saw a real picture of Harriet Tubman. I cannot buy drugs with her because she has the face of judgment. You know what I'm saying? Coming from a black man, that was an ugly woman. That's why she had the strength to free all them slaves. Can you imagine? Harriet Tubman been getting fucked

She wouldn't have the energy to free them slaves Had she been dignitized You know what I'm saying Ain't no fucking woman getting fucked good Got the energy to do shit There you go Brand new minute 20 From the great David Lucas

Heck yeah How's it going my man Good good good from the great David Lucas. Heck yeah. How's it going, my man? Yeah. Good, good, good. Yeah. Good to see you wearing the fucking Comedy Store outfit. Yeah, man.

It's the biggest they had. Heck yeah. You're goddamn right. I'm in this motherfucker barely. I love it. I love it. You got it. You're the only employee here that is actually the size and shape of the belly room. So.

God. Already... God. Oh, ready? God damn, man. I mean, I don't know. This motherfucker judging me, man. No, no. I think you're one of the strongest tonight.

Oh, I appreciate it, bro. Somebody got a pep talk. He look like a Michael Jackson impersonator. Oh, shit. Wait a second. I thought you only attacked people that made fun of you. He just gave you a compliment.

I'm a fan of yours. I appreciate it. The odds are telling me you was roasted. I'm a fan of yours. I appreciate it, my nigga. And David Lucas loves his fans. It takes six of them to keep him from sweating at night. Oh, shit.

Wow. What do I got for Tony? David, I love this. I have no idea how in the world do you have extra belt space hanging off of your belt right now? What type of goddamn dog leash are you wearing around your waist right now to where there's extra? Fuck, I ain't got no jokes for Tony today. Let's see. It's okay.

Give me a few more then. Let me get warmed up. It's all good. It's all good. Literally, what size belt is that? It's the belt you're going to hang yourself with. When you go home

and you see your boyfriend left that note, you're going to think about this belt. You're just jealous because I can hang myself. I'm by myself and I had too much fun. Oh, yeah. Wait a second.

You know the words, huh? I was down town by myself and there she was. Sing. Like double cherry pie. Yeah. There she was. Like disco super fly. Everybody.

I smell sex and candy. Everybody. I smell sex and candy here. Who's that lounging in my chair? It's funny because David knows white people music. Devious stairs in my direction.

Mama, this surely is a dream. Yeah. Dig it. You're the only guy... Hey, hold on. I got one more. Let me... You're the only guy I know that when he smells sex and candy goes for the candy.

Tony is killing me tonight. Fuck. Oh, you're good. I ain't got nothing for this Catholic priest collar you got on, nigga. Tony is killing me tonight. Fuck. No, you're good. I ain't got nothing for this Catholic priest collar you got on, nigga. I thought the same thing when I buttoned it. You got to fuck with a Bible on your back, nigga. Yeah. No, it's true.

It's absolutely true. Only white people wear a collar shirt with a pullover with it, nigga. You know? With your goddamn hall monitor looking ass. I know. It's true. Maybe one day you'll get to button your top button on a shirt, too, David. Hey, hold up.

Whoa. Oh, yeah, nigga. That's a zipper. Angry beaver looking ass, nigga. What? Angry beaver looking ass, nigga. I guess so. I'll take that.

Why don't you go home and make chips with your mouth, nigga? That's true. Just go home and chew some wood. I make chips. Only nigga that pick his teeth with a toothpick didn't eat it, nigga. What? Termite ass nigga. All right.

Tony look like he allergic to mothballs. Okay. All right. He's heating up, ladies and gentlemen. This is what we do every Monday now What do you think about Eric Griffin here? He's being silent Why are you bringing me in this?

Why Tony? This motherfucker look like a high school principal That nigga look like Principal Jabroni He look like an Israeli Jimmy Neutron You see what you did? You see what you did? You see what you did? That motherfucking head.

An Israeli Jimmy Neutron. That motherfucking head is bent like he got a race car helmet on, nigga. I'm just playing, bro. That motherfucker got some, you about to go see him? Wait a minute.

Take that hat off. You need to shut the fuck up. Wait, wait. You look like you got a burnt straw hat on. Hey, nigga. Ain't nobody saying nothing about your Mr. Clean mustache, motherfucker. That motherfucker got a Swiffer Sweeper on his mouth, nigga. Swiffer Sweeper.

Every time he leave a room, fans turn on, nigga. Show ass or body hair, nigga. What are you talking about? Sleep out. Every time he leave a room, fans turn on. So has a body head. What are you talking about? You guys attacking me. Fuck it. Hey, Mexicans use your mustache to clean up. Oh, my God. That ain't anybody going to see a movie.

He got some IMAX glasses on. Wait, wait. IMAX? Yeah, you got the Malcolm X glasses on. Get your hand out of my pocket. Oh, my God. David Lucas. Get him out of here.

I loved it. Four minutes ago, he's like, I don't have anything tonight for you guys. And then 74 jokes later, he's like, all right, I'm going to get out of here. Michael Jackson's son grew up in a blanket. That's the one he held over the balcony. You know what I mean? The only nigga that didn't get touched at Neverland.

Oh my God. I saw it, but I didn't get touched. Oh my God. That nigga was a material witness in the case. Oh my... He is on fire, ladies and gentlemen. Alright. I'm just fucking with you, Eric. You funny. in the case. Oh my, he is on fire ladies and gentlemen. Alright, alright.

I'm just fucking with you Eric, you funny. You don't, bro, you don't act like you don't remember me from the laugh factor in Vegas though.

No, I wouldn't remember you. Oh, look at that, it's a low blow. What? He was my chaperone at my middle school dance.

Hey, hey, your dance is too close. But it was just you. Nigga, you two cheeseburgers and a chicken nugget away from me. You a hefty ass nigga yourself. Agreed.

But you still look like you ate me. I know you make noise when you bend down to tie your shoe down. Don't act like you just skinny up in this bitch, nigga. I'm not saying that, but I can still see my shoes. Me too, nigga. Don't act like you ain't wear husky pants growing up. That nigga was wearing big man clothes in middle school, nigga.

That nigga, he was wearing your daddy work pants to school, nigga. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Absolute chaos. You got some more, bro. Keep going. I like this shit. Hairy knuckle ass. That motherfucker look like he got a boxing glove on, nigga.

This motherfucker hairy as shit. That motherfucker go to the barbershop, hey, line my knuckles up, nigga. You did this on purpose. No, I swear to God I did not. This guy's a freak. For those of you listening or that don't know that I haven't been that close to Eric,

Eric does have famously hairy knuckles. Yeah, they are very hairy. That motherfucker got werewolf hands, nigga. Yeah, this is like I'm in mid-werewolf transformation right here. If you figure a bitch, I know her pussy hair grow back. He tells the bird. I just got my shit waxed yesterday. What the fuck?

Line up his knuckles. You need to dip your hands in some goddamn hot fry grease, nigga. Oh, my God. All right. All right. David Lucas, what can I say? You're an absolute fucking force of energy. You took this.

You just elevated this show to a whole nother level every single week. You're my guy, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're my guy. Hey, for all y'all fans, t-shirts is here. DM me to order them motherfuckers. I got medium through 2XL. Hit me up.

Only 2XL, so we'll never see you wearing one. I got women's sizes for Tony, too. David Lucas. David motherfucking Lucas. Abso-goddamn-lutely. I love you, David. Love you too, dawg. There he goes, David Lucas, ladies and gentlemen. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. My man. I mean, what can I say that was beautiful

David Lucas is just on a whole different level lord have mercy hey what's cooking good looking it's our friend from Ireland

over there look at this there he is another famous Kill Tony classic there's the great Aphrodite in the house over here

what do you guys think bucket one last time to end this thing one more I mean I'm telling you it's usually better What do you guys think? Bucket one last time to end this thing? One more! I mean, I'm telling you, it's usually better if we end the episode on a high note like that. You guys think we should go one more time?

All right. We're taking a big chance here. Digging deep in this bucket. Let's see what happens here. Okay, make some noise for your final comedian of the night. Unless this goes horribly wrong and then we'll go right back. But make some noise for your final comedian.

It's Nick Borsellino, everybody. Nick Borsellino. Nick Borsellino. Back from that ledge, my friend. Back from that, that, that ledge, my friend. Now step back. You're killing yourself. One more time, your final comedian, Nick Borsolini. How's it going? Cool.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not a three musketeer. I really think I gotta change my look, though, because Once Upon a Time in Hollywood's so popular. Can't be looking like this with a Manson movie popular, am I right? I'm really hoping that Tarantino's next film is gonna be Passion of Christ 2. I think that could really turn my career around.

A big NFL fan. A lot of people offended by the Washington Redskins. Or as I like to call them, the Washington R-Words. Because Redskins is offensive. But I don't know. I personally think there's a more offensive NFL team. And that's

the New York Jets. Because if you think about it, if Hiroshima had a team and they were called the A-bombs, they'd probably have to change that, right? Cool, that's all I got. Hell yeah. Nick Borsalino.

Welcome, welcome. Very good set. Way to handle it. Tough position following David Lucas. You worked your way through it. A lot of good self-deprecation. Good jokes there. And you segued right into normal material. That was smooth.

How long have you been doing stand-up? About a year, I think. I didn't know I was supposed to remember when I started. I don't know. I didn't know I was supposed to log log like how long i've been doing it okay i'm gonna say a year yeah that's a good that's a good i guess that's a good answer so welcome nick um how old are you uh 26 one year 26 what do you do for work uh i work at universal studios oh what do you do there uh i work in like a food stands, you know?

No, I don't know. Okay, well, there's various food stands in Universal, and I work in them. You work at a Fun One or anything? You work at like the fucking Indiana? Occasionally they'll put me in the Simpsons world, and I have to dress like a Simpsons character. Which Simpsons character do you normally go with? Well, a lot of times they put me in Luigi's and I think that's really offensive because

my last name is Borsellino, so I'm Italian. And it's just really like overtly Dago-y. Jesus. I can't say that, I'm Italian. But it's just like it's like, I don't know, very pizza-y chef looking.

I don't know. I bet that looks adorable on you. How long have you been working at Universal Studios? About six months. Six months. Are you from L.A.? You just moved here? No, I'm originally from Tinley Park, Illinois,

a suburb just outside of Chicago. Whoa, look at that. One fan. Heck yeah. One lady's leaving. She's heard enough right there. Oh, cool. There you go.

Wow, there you go. Oh, we lost two of them. There it goes. Harriet Tubman, mad about the jokes about her earlier. There you go. Wow. There you go. Oh, we lost two of them. There it goes. Harriet Tubman, mad about the jokes about her earlier. There she goes, everybody, leaving the show. There you go. Something to be offended by on your Yelp review. So, Nick, tell us something crazy about you that we wouldn't possibly believe or ever guess about you.

Fun fact about your life. Well, first off, I have a girlfriend. That's really unbelievable. Wow. Look at that at that and second off she's a therapist dude yeah look at that yeah did she fall in love with you because you love laying down on couches no all right i don't even get it yeah it's because you look like a stoner that like lays on the all the time, and therapists make you lay down on the couch. Oh, okay. Yeah. You look like the final Blockbuster employee.

Come on. There he is. Joel Berg. An episode of pure redemption for Joel Berg. Unbelievable. I love it. Nick, how long have you been dating this therapist? I think it's like nine years or something. Wow. I love it. Nick, how long have you been dating this therapist? I think it's like nine years or something.

Wow. Look at that. You ever going to pop the question? I doubt it. You're just codependent. What makes you say that? Why say it like that? I don't know. Nine years we've been dating. We might as well be married I guess. Sure.

You've been dating your therapist for nine years be married, I guess. Sure. Geez. You've been dating your therapist for nine years? Yeah, of course. Well, yeah, she kind of got that job, you know, through me. Really? Yeah, no. At Universal Pizza? What? Like, how'd she get the job through you?

I think he's kidding. Oh, I was just being stupid. Yeah, that's impossible. Do you have commitment issues? Hasn't your girl, like, worked through those or anything? No, no. No. No commitment issues. Whatn't your girl worked through those or anything? No, no. No commitment issues. What do you do for fun?

What are your hobbies? This is going to sound weird because I work at Universal Studios, but I'm a roller coaster enthusiast. Ah. Yeah, so I'm obsessed with roller coasters. You ever been to Cedar Point in Sandbesky, Ohio? Yeah. Many times.

Yeah, that's not good enough. Steel Vengeance is the shit. Say that again? Steel Vengeance is the shit. Say that again? Steel Vengeance is the shit. Yeah. Yes, it is. Yeah, absolutely. Dude, have you ever been to Worlds of Fun in Kansas City, dude? No, but I want to.

I'm down. Mamba, that's a good coaster. Dude, he actually knows it, dude. Yeah. He's an enthusiast, dude. That's so cool. When's the last time you went to Cedar Point? Last year. The first year of Steel Vengeance. Yeah, last dude. He is an enthusiast, dude. That's so cool. When's the last time you went to Cedar Point? Last year.

The first year of Steel Vengeance, yeah. That is awesome. Yeah, I haven't been on Steel Vengeance yet, but I rode the Maverick and Top Thrill Dragster both the days that they opened for the first time. Oh, really? Nice. Made the Magnum.

Risky business back then. Didn't somebody die at Cedar Point on that water ride or something? Nope, that never happened. Okay. Didn't somebody die at Cedar Point on that water ride or something? Nope, that never happened. Tothrill had a thing where the cord exploded or something, and it felt like a bunch of people got bee stings from it. It was weird.

Hilarious. Yeah. So, Nick, you've been with your girl for nine years. How do you keep things exciting in the bedroom? Do you have any special tricks or anything like that? We don't. It's just missionary style. Wow.

Dude, you got to try a 180, dude. Can you explain a 180? Dude, flip her around, dude, and go. No. Dude, have you ever done a 720 nose grab, dude? Please tell us about the nose grab. No one knows how nose grabs better than Jeremiah. That didn't get out clean.

What did you guys think about Nick Borsalino? Eh, you know, it's all right. Wow. I'll take that. He's a weird dude. You know you're a weird dude. It's good. Keep it up.

I like it. I'm into it. He had good energy. He had good energy. You had good energy. I just didn't get the... I don't watch football, so that's the only thing. I don't watch football, but you're good, man. Oh, thank you.

Yeah. How about Micah? Micah, what do you got for this guy? I just say be careful of the use of the word offensive, because as soon as you use that word, people start overthinking stuff, dude, and then they might start not liking you, dude. Oh, no.

I wouldn't want that. That's Micah's tip of the day, dude. Fuck yeah. Tip of the day. Absolutely. Wow. So anything else fun about your life or any fun facts about your family?

Are you as Italian as your last name seems? No, I don't even really have an Italian grandma, so I don't even think I consider it Italian. It's just the last name, really. You close with your father? Yeah, he's alright. What does he do? He's an insurance broker. An insurance broker with the last name Borsellino?

Yeah. What does your mom do? What kind of insurance? She's a house mom. A house mom? She sleeps on the couch. Wow. You and your mom have something in common. I like how you said a house mom. As opposed to a field mom. It is.

It's a weird way to say it. A field mom. A house mom. You got there in the field with that field mom, huh? You got a house mom? I like that. All right. Are you the black sheep in the family?

Like, do they look at you and be like, we made it? No, we're all, like, pretty much weird. You have a lot of brothers and sisters? Two brothers and a sister. What do they do? One's dead and one's in the... How did one die? I got another one.

It's fine. What happened to the one? Pain pill addiction? It was a car accident. Ooh, a car accident. Heck yeah. Thought I'd have to go all the way to Luigi's in Universal Studios to get a good T-bone with your family.

Dude, Sony, well played. Can I just say, when Red Band hit that air horn after you talked about the dead family member, a woman in the audience literally goes, Oh, my God! That is one of our favorite reactions possible on this show. You can only really hear that reaction at a taping live of Kill Tony.

Comedy Store Monday nights and on the road, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, San Antonio, Houston, and Calgary all coming up. Get that at DeathSquad.TV, TonyHinchcliffe.com, really a bunch of different places. How about one more time for Nick Borsellino, ladies and gentlemen? There he goes. He's on Instagram at Nick with nothing better to do, all one word. Very nice. Here comes the great Ryan J. Ebel with his drawing of tonight's episode, The Moment of Truth. He said he's tired from flying all day.

Look at what he was able to accomplish. Absolutely incredible. All the prints are available at ryanjebel.com. There's a massive sale going on right now. Literally everything is on sale, every print, every poster that's ever happened. So if you have a favorite episode with Christmas coming up right around the corner, go to that website and get a print that you love. Get one of

the tour posters that maybe you didn't have the cash for at one of the live shows you went to and buy Keltoni the book. They're volume two and volume three is out. Volume three has volume one and volume two. So volume two is only if you already have volume one and volume three if you don't have any of the books yet,

you'll have everything all at once. We sign all those and we send them out. You can have it before Christmas. How about one more time? His first time on the show, Steve Lee, ladies and gentlemen. I gotta tell you, I'm a big fan of the Stevie Weeby show and his music. Go to

stevieweebybandcamp.com Go to stevieweebyshow.com Check them out. Check out everything Stevie Weeby. I loved your performance. I loved your energy tonight. One more time for the great Eric Griffin, everybody. One of our favorite guests in the show's history. He's got

Griffin with Griffin and he is going to be at Phoenix Stand Up Live Friday and Saturday after Thanksgiving. Make sure you get tickets for that, Phoenix. We have a big loyal following in Phoenix, Arizona. Shout-out to the great Infinite CBD. That's right. Get it for Christmas.

30% off for, I think, the first time ever. It's just an incredible deal. Use the promo code Tony15. You get 30% off at Infinite CBD. And visit mybookie.ag today. Use the promo code TONY to activate your offer of doubling your deposit. You play, you win, you get paid. How about

one more time for the great Jeremiah Watkins, huh? St. Louis, San Diego, with the Kill Tony band, and William Montgomery, Kansas City, Chicago, and Detroit, JeremiahWalkins.com, Jeremiah Wonders is his podcast, Jeremiah Stand Up on social media, Jeremiah Walkins on YouTube. There's nothing I possibly could have missed on this one,

but you'll find a way. Just Louis J. Gomez and Kim Congdon are the guests on the Jeremiah Wonders broadcast today. Check it out. How about one more time for the great Chroma Chris, everybody? Silent but deadly. He batted 100% tonight. Chroma, what do you think about tonight's episode?

Oh, it's extreme to the max, dude. Fuck yeah. Hey, also, you know what else is extreme? On the 23rd, November 23rd, we got the Baby Boys. We have our album release party at the Silver Lake Lounge with Regan and Watkins and also Draken the Swamp Rats. That's crazy because November 23rd is also Storkade here at the Comedy Store,

the first ever pro wrestling event. Infinite CBD presents Storkade. Also, we got a big gay calendar for sale. That big gay calendar. You better get it before it becomes 2020 and the paper calendar is completely pointless. How about one more time? Big night of redemption for him. Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez.

You know him. You love him. He's mostly sorry on social media. He's an official artist of the Ludwig elite crew. Anything else, Joel? Check out Collage of the Mirage. Check out Riffin with Griffin. He's got a great episode on how to be a stand-up or starting in stand-up. Check it out. Love you guys.

Bunch of great new shows on the Dead Squad Network. The Brian Holtzman. You got David Lucas and William Montgomery. The two regulars have a podcast called Brothers in Cursive. It's every Wednesday at Dead Squad. Go to deadsquad.tv. That's right. Make sure you get it. Go check it out. Use your Ridge wallet

and go to infinitecbd.com and mybookie.ag today. Live audience, we love you. Thank you guys for sticking with us and through it all. Nobody has more fun on Mondays than us. We'll see you soon. Here we go. Yep. you Thank you.