KILL TONY - KILL TONY #461 – QUARANTINED #17

Episode Date: July 3, 2020

David Lucas, William Montgomery, Michael Lehrer, Joel Jimenez, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 06/29/2020 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Red Band and you are listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, Death Squad. TV. There you have every past episode of Kill Tony, including video portions to the shows. You could also click on tour dates to find out where we're at next. We have a bunch of new shows being rescheduled every day. So check it out. I know that Miami, Florida is going to be July 31st through August 1st. Then we have Skankfest, Houston. It's been moved to September 25th through the 26th. Then we have Kill Tony Mania. It returns to Sacramento, October 14th and 15th. San Francisco for Kill Tony Mania 16th, 17th, and 18th. And then Tacoma, Washington has been moved October 30th through the 31st. Go to Desquod.tv and click on tour dates for the latest updates.

Go to Tony Hinchcliff.com. That's the official website of Tony Hinchcliff. And he has tour dates and he has some merch there. Go to Tony Hinchcliff.com. Ryan J. Ebelt, he is the house artist. He draws every episode. He drew the book. He has some posters.

And he has a huge sale going on right now. so go to Ryan Jeebelt.com. And last but not least, shop squad. TV. That's the official merchandise of the Death Squad universe. And he also have the Kill Tony shirt there. Go to Shop Squad. TV.

And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Band coming to you live from Death Squad Studios for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Here's Tony Hinchclare. Yay. Hello, everybody. Where is it that one? Hello.

Hello, everyone. Look at this. We're so good to be here. We are live in one of Red Band's many bathrooms. This is very exciting. This is what it's come to. This is the new era of Kill Tony. Sure, we did theaters and massive venues.

And here we are now, everyone. We are in the backseat of a Tesla live streaming Kill Tony. This is what it's come to. We are one step away from being street, Performers. Actually, that might be the next move. We might be doing Kill Tony live on the streets. We might just have to go to a park and just set up some amps. That might not even be a bad idea. We got to start improvising because this shit is stressing me. I know. Every week we have a different studio now. That's how I didn't even think we were going to have a show this week because you were out of town with Rogan.

I was like, shit, what are we going to do? Yeah. No, I was back on Saturday night. This new Rogan life is pretty good. We went from being on stage to Houston to being... Yeah, how was that? Because it's been, what, three months? It was unbelievable. It was the fucking greatest thing ever. I can't really...

I don't know how to describe it. It's like doing what you love to do more than anything. And then not doing that, which you did every day or every night forever for 13 years. And then taking three and a half months off and then doing it at a great place. Houston, Texas, the record holding city. for one of my favorite places to go on the road, but record holding for most ever kill Tony's on the road. And, uh,

you know, they just fucking get it out there. Texas gets it. They always have, I've always gone there quite a few times a year. And, um, so it was a fucking blast. The first set,

you know, figuring shit out, you know, because stand-up's weird. It's not like a script that you memorize. You're sort of feeling it. And there were some parts where I was doing, you know, I mixed in a lot of new stuff.

But there's also parts where the confusing part was doing some of the old jokes that I had well tightened up before. And I was doing the setups for them. Like I was saying them into the microphone without really knowing what I was going to say next. Like it's like I remembered the setups and had to. Did you write, did it make you write something new? Like, oh, I didn't even think about this. Oh, yeah. A lot of new stuff.

A lot of very fun new stuff. Improvising off of Joe's Spotify deal. and some some crystallia material believe it Oh really stuff I wouldn't do on a podcast I do during my stand-up So

How did that work out? Really really, really well Turns out people like New, fresh, topical fucking whatever Stupid shit So yeah, it was a blast And here we are

The great Brian Red Band of course, Death Squad Studios, and we have a special guest. David Lucas is here, everybody. Yeah, what's up, y'all? I'm glad that you're here, because you know, as you know, we always talk about dildos and booty holes with you. And I don't know if you know this, but I've been getting a lot of dildos and booty holes lately. And this episode is brought to you by Adam and Eve, the number one adult toy superstore.

Adam and Eve says the best part of staying at home is playing at home. Toys for men, toys for women, couples toys, every kind of lube and lotion lingerie and so many other sexy gifts. I actually used it. I bought something for my girlfriend. And it was cool. It was easy to use. They have everything.

And this discount coupon code that we have took a lot off the amount that we had. They have vibrators. They have lube. They have adult movies if you want that. And it gets shipped to you in a box so that your neighbors don't know what you're getting. And it was awesome because I can't wait to show. you maybe I'll bring it to the next kill Tony what I bought her. It's a good thing they put it in a box.

It'd be weird if they had, it'd be weird if they had like a clear dildo shaped container. Well, it just doesn't say Adam and Eve on the outside of it. So like, you know, people don't. Discrete. No, of course. You should all take advantage of the downtime right now and choose almost any one item and get 50% off at Adam and Eve.com with the code kill Tony. When you do, you'll also get 10 free boredom busting gifts, including six spicy

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Yeah. And it goes on and on. after you have sex, after you have a romantic evening, after you finish sexually. Nothing better to do. I don't know about you, Brian, but I like to eat some food. And I like to be lazy after having sexual excursions, so I postmates it. If you're like me, you love postmates. We love food.

You love postmates. But I love them more than ever right now because, of course, you don't have to leave the house delivered straight to the door. With what's going on in the world, they have created non-contact deliveries. So now when I order from local restaurants, everything gets left right outside my door. Yeah, and they also have Postmates pickup, which I didn't even know it was a thing. And I used it the other day, which is great because you could order from your favorite restaurants. And you could, like, you're supporting your neighborhood places.

I know there's a few places in Burbank here where I've been reading that they might go out of business. And it's very depressing. So now you could go on Postmates. and you could pick it up right there. And Postmates doesn't deliver just burgers and sushi. They actually make my life easier by picking up everything I need from Walgreens and 7-Eleven and dropping it off right outside my door. That's great.

Now they just drop it off. They take a photo and then they send you a message like, hey, it's out front. Just download Postmates on iOS or Android. Find your favorites and get anything you want delivered within an hour. Anything you want. I've been getting, we all know, Vito's gives us pizza every single week. It is incredible. And I've become recently addicted to their chicken parm sandwich.

And I get it delivered straight to my door. Sometimes I'll swing by, say hi to Charlie at the shop on Santa Monica. But, I mean, Las Egana, but near Santa Monica. And yeah. So anyway, for a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners $100 of free delivery for your first seven days. To start your free deliveries, download the app and use the code Kill Tony. That's Kill Tony. $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days when you download the Postmates app.

Anything you need. Any time you need it, postmate it. Yibbidi-a-a-di-bibbidi-bidi-bavity. Hello. Good to be here. Exciting stuff. Let's get the show started. We have a band on this show. Every single week they commit to being different characters.

This is a tight studio tonight. We are all very close together. So let's see what characters they are tonight. I present to you. The best damn band in the land. Jeremiah Watkins and Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez, everyone. Here we go. Uh-oh.

I haven't heard this music before. This should be interesting. Uh-oh. Oh. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Okay. This is very exciting.

I absolutely know who these two are. Even though it's their first time on the show, I definitely know who these guys. guys are from the hit video game and movie, Mortal Kombat, ladies and gentlemen, it is without a doubt, Raiden and Sub-Zero. Am I correct?

You're right about this guy, but not me. Who are you? I'm the newest Mortal Kombat character. I am the Koro Ninja. Is that a real thing? Yeah, we've had so many fatalities. They decided to add me to the game. Oh, okay.

Man, you really could have just been Sub-Zero. I mean, I fight to the death for a living, and I'm pretty scared being in this tight little space right now, let me tell you. I mean, Sub-Zero is such a famous historical character. Like, he freezes people. What's your special move? Stay over there!

Oh. Social distance! Wait, are these special, like, corona versions of... Just me, but right before the show started, David accidentally spit in my eye, so I'm pretty sure I have it now. Okay. Black people can't get that shit. Oh my God, this is Raiden and totally not?

Will Forte. Wait a second. What? What it's not? It's totally not Will Forte. Wow. I started working at Trader Joe's. Oh my God.

I am so confused. I don't know what's happening. You really have to know Will Forte really well to lock down on this one. Are you Will Forte? Is Will Forte playing Raiden? I'm a little bit. Listen, as I said, I'm totally raided. Not where forte.

Okay. So, interesting stuff. Again, could have just been Raiden, but I guess you're Will Forte. I wish you could see my giant smile underneath this mask, Tony. Okay. What a creative way to wear a mask, by the way. That's great. Yeah.

All right. So we're here with Raiden being played by Will Forte and some brand new Mortal Kombat Carlin. Corro. I'm not even going to write it down. It's not even worth me writing down. Stay over there! Okay. All right.

This is the closest we've ever been in Kiltony history. Yes, it is. This is where we are doing the opposite of what we're supposed to be doing during a pandemic. Oh, yeah. I forgot to turn on the second air purifier. I brought an extra air purifier. Did that go on? Dyson.

Hey, there it is. Yeah. All right. This is fun. I have a remote control. and an air purifier, everybody. Okay, so let's get this thing rolling. We're here.

We got everyone in this fucking room. Ladies and gentlemen, your first comedian that we're going to watch a minute submission before has been on this show before. He has blown our minds with his previous technical abilities. We liked him. So we told him any time he wants to send in again, he can. Ladies and gentlemen, your first submission comes to us from Drew,

Williamson. Here we go. Here's a little music first. There you go. There it is. Drew Williamson. Here we go. Having a great year here at I, Me, Mine. Our product lines of aquarium decorations and house plant GPS locators have redefined the tech sector.

Today is the introduction of our super top secret project. We showed this to a group of investors who said, and I quote, we don't know what we are looking at. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to the I Sharp. The most loud, powerful, wood, over-engineered pencil sharpener the world has ever seen. Let's see how it works. how it works. Simple boot up process. Easy to carry five-step remote. Let's see how it does.

Keep the RPMs up. Drop it in the easy-to-find receptacle. This one? Easy to find receptacle. Looks like we're almost ready. Ladies and gentlemen, we have done it. There it is. This is what our show is now, everybody. This is what our show is now. We started the year with, I believe, 1,900 people in a theater in Vancouver, and this is where we're at now. We are now in a closet with one another.

I mean, I've always been in the closet, but now all my friends are with me. There you go. I'll beat Joel to that joke. Who is Joel? I'll beat Koro Ninja. So stupid, I remembered the name. Underwearhead man.

I think it looks very nice. So here we are, and Drew Williamson is joining us. Hi, Drew. How are you? I'm good. How is everybody? We're good, man. We're good. We're hanging in there. Everything's great. Totally not about to have a fucking meltdown. Yes. So Drew, that was awesome. It's silly. as dumb as it absolutely was.

That's, that's, that's what we love here right now. How you doing, Drew? What's been happening in your world? Not much,

really. We are just running through the video games. All the free ones that we could find. We made our first purchase recently for my son. But it's a different world. Yeah. We are gearing up for, I got a letter from my bosses on Broadway.

They're estimating anywhere from Thanksgiving to Christmas. to start opening things up. I actually read a thing today that said Broadway is planning on not reopening until January 2021. Did you read that at all? I haven't seen that update. I literally read that today. Broadway, yeah.

No, I know, man. We were, I was literally, I don't know if I mean, it doesn't matter, but I was talking, that's how fast things move now is I was talking with someone about the potential of the comedy story.

and being back there in some form or another. And during the phone call with the higher-ups at the comedy store yesterday, literally, while I was on a conference call with all of them, they found out that the mayor of Los Angeles closed in all bars and completely held everything up. So news changes quickly right now in this shit whole time that we're living in. I was so mad because I was going to the comedy store had opened Friday night, the patio, and you could sit outside and have drinks. And I was like, you know what, I should go to that. You know, I'll just wait. You know, Tony's going to be back Sunday. Maybe I'll just go hang out with Tony.

Yep. And then the next day they closed it. I was, I mean, I knew it was just all too good to be true. First of all, I knew they would reopen when I was on the road. I knew that for a fact because that's how it always works. And they did. They announced it on Friday when I was leaving. And it was open on Friday and Saturday or whatever.

It was just Saturday, actually. Yeah. and yeah so there is good news i got an email today they're opening as a restaurant Thursday what oh thank god nothing more i crave than restaurant food from the comedy store perfect time for coro ninja to speak over you david uh can you explain one more time what uh did i mention i fight to the death for a living so they're going to open as a restaurant Thursday that's okay well that's great news and before that if you need you Any grocery needs that's come on over to Trader Joe?

They'll help you out. So I was, I'm the same boat as Tony. I was like, damn, I'm on the road and they announced that day. So literally, that's how fast. I mean, remember, what started this conversation is how fast news changes. And as I'm talking about them opening and then closing, I find out live in front of everyone that they're opening Thursday as a restaurant. I got that like an hour ago.

They're just close. Hey, Drew, what was that machine that, was there actual purpose for that machine that you are showing us. Yeah, so the wood, the wood frame of that unit was, it's actually a router tool for woodworking. And my wife and son helped me just stack all the electronic pieces that we could find around the house just to make it as ridiculous looking as possible. So yeah, I got a little bit of artistic help from the family on that one. And they were also in charge of throwing crap on me during the shoot. So that was a fun afternoon just the other day. I love that. That's so cool. You seem like you're the cool kind of nerd, am I right?

I would like to say so, but definitely in the nerd range. Let me ask you this, because I love it when you know, when you have somebody that seems like one thing, but it has sort of a wild side to you. Adam and Eve has a bunch of deals going on right now with the promo code Kill Tony. If you were to use a toy, or maybe you do use a toy with your wife in the bedroom, what would that toy be? A Lego, for sure. How many Legos can she fit? Yeah, are we talking about the big ones for like little kids?

We're talking about those giant Legos? Yeah, the Duplo, the bigger blocks for little kids. Yeah, I used to have buckets of those things. Yeah, remember Lincoln logs? Those things are fun too. No, you're much older than me. That's the 10-year. That's the Lincoln Log.

Oh, gee. Lincoln logs grown up. But I'm a million years old. I'm freaking raiden. You guys remember a building brick cabins? Yeah. You guys remember construction?

Red Band was alive when Lincoln's actual logs were being built. He played Lincoln logs with Abraham. Right. Red band called an ambulance when Lincoln got shot. Not even Abraham Lincoln. Abraham from the Bible.

That's what, that's who red band. You got caught by John Wilkes Booth. Now I'm curious. Am I the oldest guy in the building right now because I just turned 49. Oh, yep, last week.

Wow. Yeah. You got red band beat by four years. Six months. Okay. And you're good to be 49. And you have an R2D2 shirt on. Oh, thanks very much.

Little hair gel and lotion, you know? Yeah. That's what it is. So that's fun, Drew. How old's your son? He's 12. And he's edging towards teenager by every minute. Every time we have a discussion, it's a little more edgy.

Oh, he's into edging. That's interesting. If you were black, your kid would be 30. No, no, no. What's that? If you were black, your kid would be 30. Because they have kids at a younger age. Hell yeah.

I thought he was going to say three. Like 49. How long you've been with your wife, Drew? We're coming in on. 19 years in August. Wow. How long were you with her before you got married? Oh, we met in grad school. So, we were friends for a few years and she went away to Korea. And I guess she did major makeovers because she came back pretty scorching hot. Wow. So that's when I decided to kind of rearrange my schedule for my design career and make a little more time for her. So yeah, but we've been

together the whole time. That first time you hooked up with her, how fast did you come? You seem like the kind of guy that would like be pulling it out of your pants and it just starts shooting all over the room. Like, oh, I'm so sorry. A lot of nights are, oh, you're ready. Oh, Drew. What else you've been doing during this quarantine to stay busy?

Any other fun hobbies or anything? anything? I've made a major deal out of cleaning the house and my wife was excited for me to be doing more videos and being recognized for it. But she said to me the only thing that she's really worried about is that all the house cleaning is going to stop. So I have to just get up and vacuum as soon as I turn off the broadcast. Wow. What a bitch you are, Drew. My goodness.

Gracious. Wow. All right. Well, that's fun, though. How about the sun? Why don't you get the sun to learn how to do some chores around that house? Does he have chores? I always wondered about that.

Are you allowed to give chores nowadays? Yeah. So I'm working them up towards as many chores. I'm hoping he gets up and tells me he's going to do him. But it's always a good five-minute discussion before the chore starts. But he hates vacuuming already. So he's growing up perfectly. He's learning the ropes.

Yeah, that's about right. When I was when I was a kid, I hated vacuuming too. I hated vacuums like like like new dogs hate vacuums. I hated mowing the lawn. I thought that was the worst. I mean, power lawn muller or the push kind? Yeah, push kind. And we had a big yard.

You're running over land. lincoln logs out there. I did it with scissors. Yeah, just the metal blade one. I hated whitewashing fences back in the day. That's what I really hated. You did that, Raiden? Yeah, I'm a million years old, silly.

Drew, before I let you go, is there anything else crazy about you that we would find very interesting from such a, you seem like you have it all put together, you seem like a good human being, you seem like you're very proper, like you have your, uh, Like you keep your, like you keep your toothbrush and your toothpaste, like a perfect distance from one another and everything like that. Like you seem very, very well put together. Is there anything that would surprise us about you? Oh, man. I always hated this question.

You would ask other people. I don't know. I'm pretty much as you see it. Yeah, right. But, uh, do you have like a, uh... But yeah, I would say the craziest thing I've ever done is this. sending in a video making a comedy thing and definitely my first appearance

at the Grammarcy with you guys was probably that was just so amazing what a flood of a flood of emotion I love that. That is fun so you are really are how you appear to be I was just trying to branch out

Yeah nothing weird about me the camera accidentally zooms out he's like choking his wife during this interview. Shut the hell up. Go to bed. Whoa. Look at that. I'm not going to vacuum tonight.

Tonight's my night to be a man. Screw the dishes. This dude's a murderer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro. I love it, Drew. Well, thanks for your submission. It's always fun. Again, you have an open invitation.

You're a silly, silly, silly, nerdy guy. I like your style. There he goes. Drew Williams. Great. Thanks very much, everybody. I love you, Drew. Fuck yeah, here we are on to our second comedian.

I still haven't killed myself tonight. This is very exciting. Ladies and gentlemen, your second submission coming up here in just a moment is coming from a man who has, we met him before the pandemic. And meanwhile, during the pandemic, he grew to become one of the very famous characters on the show. We've seen him interview. Mexican prostitutes. We have seen him up the ante from there and interview Mexican transgender prostitutes. And now he is back. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a submission from Manolo after this little bit of music here. Hello, darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Manolo.

video world premiere goodness he covered gentlemen I've come to dog and you again incredible wow Manolo has covered

Michael Lair's hit song from a couple weeks ago Ryan Bedpan Hello Manolo Can you hear Oh my goodness You are living the high life down there in Tijuana

Pull your head back a little bit She's got a little nipple popping out over there Oh my gosh I brought up favorite How what's up Fuck yeah Hello

Mexico Oh my goodness That one to your The one to your left Looks like she's questioning her life right now Okay She's only has some

Ariola sticking out there Keep her off the screen Until she puts that away Have her lift her God damn Does it look like You're having fun right now Have her put her

Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, that totally. Tony. Yes. I asked her if she knew how to speak English and this is what she said. I was English. Here he says, say it. You what I got a got what I mean.

That's what he said. You guys, I don't know anyone who has thrived more during this pandemic than you, Manolo. It's literally, when we were at the comedy store, we were going through, you know what I mean. Our business was booming and you were sort of, you know, you weren't at rock star status yet. You were sort of coming up through the ranks. And now you're an absolute assassin. You have beautiful girls around you. You guys are obviously having the time of your life except for the girl to your left again.

She seems a little bit miserable. She has no idea what I'm saying. So that's actually perfect. Manolo, you look like spam trippily. Oh, man, you beat me too late. Go ahead, Manolo. He's got the hot for you, Tony. Yeah, man.

I love it, dude. Damn, I should have hit you up when I was in San Diego, bro. I'm telling you guys, I'm telling you. Hey, hey, yo, I got a quick statement to me. First of all, I didn't know if it was going to be relevant because I, the Ryan bedpan, because I thought it was great. Michael Lairis is in a Mosh. So shout out to Michael Lair because I think he kicked out that night.

And I had to do that remix, that motherfucking remix. Maybe one time we can do it, do the video, but both of us with all these sticks, right? Absolutely, dude. Absolutely. I love it. You guys look like you're having a blast. It looks like you and the girl on the left are on Molly, and the one behind you is coming down from Molly. It's very exciting.

I love the comments that you always have. Exactly. Hey, can you tickle the grumpy girl for me? I just want to see her smile a little. Yeah. Actually, he's way out of them. Dude. A blanka, yeah

Fiesta A baby just fell out But I'm that drunk baby But I got a quick statement Tony Yes go ahead But everyone Lying in bed Alone wearing a condom

Is the same shit It's driving in your car wearing a face mask I had to say it Sorry Hey you know what I like that That's a pretty smart take That's some pimp shit

Yep, you're absolutely right, Manolo. Again, you have, you have become a genius during this pandemic. It is incredible. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. And yeah, we're here, you know, we're going to be here. We're going to actually, we're going to go on a shower bait today. Oh, okay.

There you go. And where can people find you if, like, one of us wants to maybe have, open up their phone later? Red band's asking for a friend. Gianni Ber Sanchez. Oh, God, you got to spell that for us. Like Johnny Versace, but Sanchez? Oh, okay. Johnny, okay.

You're going to... No, Gianni. Gianni Ber Sanchez. So it's G-I-N-N-I-S-A-N-C-H-E-Z? Yes, sir. All right. Well, there you go. You're going to have one more subscriber tonight.

Go ahead. I was wondering if I could try a sort of Willie Montgomery type joke. Yep. If it kind of works. Yep. Go right ahead. Okay, so, fuck you and your South support. I pay shit.

But Mr. Jackson, we can't say that. Okay, and we'll just say Billy Dean. Well, that was a good. Yeah, yes. Basura. This is chaos, and I sort of love it. Oh, my God. What has this show become?

Hey, God, damn. I have never Oh my Okay, all right Oh my goodness You must have broke In the Tony's house Because how do you get that?

You son of the fuck You got his Dill-Doh pistol Did you get those at Adam Neve? Yeah That's a new I put it in your mouth and turn it on No Sorry

Do you prefer For gold Huh? Oh my goodness I'm black so I won't gold You know what? I just had an idea. Kill Tony Tijuana, July.

Please. Are they open down there? That border's closed, right? Is the border closed, Manilo? I'll send you the info you guys want it and you can look it up and see a bit. I get the feeling Jeremiah won't be allowed to come on this trip. Bro, you go. Tony, you're going to have to put that episode on OnlyFans, bro.

I've been happily. married for one million years. Yeah, I feel like we'd have trouble getting down there. They would let Joel in and we wouldn't be able to get them back. My God. Oh, my God. Please tickle that, girl. On the right, my son.

Yeah, tickle her. That's how I like my woman. Let's see if I can make her laugh. Can she hear me? She can hear me, right? Oh, okay. But yeah, yeah. That's it going to say a little.

listen. Hello. Hello. Hello, Muchacha. My name is Tony. The Tony,

uh, um, La Tony they like those days. He got those

omens, he's like the don't know he wants chorizo and uh, and a,

and a chichita in a boca and all right. Cordochita. All right. Tony is chuppetoto.

Tony is very flaco, yes. Hold on, let's all talk at the same time. Can we do that? Yes. I'm American. Maricot? Maricot?

Yeah, see. Yeah, it worked. There you go. See, I did it in three words. No, I know, but it worked. It worked. It was just a don't be gay in Mexico. Don't be gay in Mexico.

Guess I won't be going anytime soon. I'm the first openly gay mortal combat character. Wow, he has a dildo and an electric toothbrush. That is exciting. All right, Manolo. This has been awesome, dude. You're fucking incredible. I mean, what can I say?

This is, wait, is that a, are you in a bathtub? Hot tub, the whole time. Oh, look, yes, dude. Is it filled with puddle water? I'm sorry, we couldn't, we couldn't hear you that much because I haven't turned on. So maybe that was bad timing, you know? Try putting water in it. It helps.

If not my Joe's would have killed. Dude, Manolo, I might come visit you in Tijuana soon. I just found out that I'm doing the La Jollaia Comedy Store. Okay, perfect. Honestly, it's pretty safe. I'm telling you, it's pretty safe. They got sponsored you. It's pretty safe.

Pretty safe is always what I'm into. July 9th through the 12th, I found out I'm doing the La Jolla comedy store. How far is the La Jolla from where you are, right now, Manolo. 40 minutes. Oh, my God. All right, there you go. If I come back from that weekend in La Jolla with an itchy crotch, you know why.

It's not because of Manscape. That's right. And it ain't because I had him an eight. Nothing. I love you, Manolo. You guys are amazing. What's your name again, sweetheart with the phone? V.

Vanessa. I love it. I love it. And the angry, what's the angry, what's the angry girls? name. Ooh, I'm a bad. She is a hostage. Absolutely.

I hope to visit you guys someday up there, so. Absolutely. You're always more than, you're definitely welcome 100%. And we're looking forward to it. Well, you got a spot at the ice house. Whenever you want. Not if Trump has anything to do with it. All right, guys.

Thank you so much. Manolo, you're the best. No, thank you very much. I'll be keeping the party going until next Monday. I love it. Absolutely. Send us a submission anytime, Manolo. You're the best.

Bye, guys. Bye, ladies. Bye, bye. That's the life, bro. It really is. The last thing you want to be two spots into this show is jealous and horny, but here we are. Okay. There you go.

We have another submission, ladies and gentlemen. This man became famous on this show just a couple weeks ago. And he was doing a parody of Manolo, who we just had on. And now he is back. Ladies and gentlemen, it is Robolo. Here he is. There you go. There you go.

Here's Robolo. Hey, Tony. Robolo here again with my buddy, Sketch Yeti. Yeah, he's got the hookup. to the Laguna Gael Cartel. I'm gonna tell them a few jokes of my new minute. Get it? It's my fucking dick. On our way to the Lagoon and the Gal Cartel. Anyone else mistake Harvey Weinstein for Harvey Firestein?

The gay Jewish guy from Independence Day? Get in my office and watch me shower. Huh? Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. Because he was a paraplegic. That was real funny, right? Hey, hey, hey, come on, stop.

Hey, what's going on? Not as cool. Don't worry. Don't worry, dude. This is great. They're jumping you in. We're not gonna jump him in, fool. We're gonna dump him in.

Boom, me erro on his face. What is your name? Who's Joelberg? I'm confused. hilarious though yes it was Robolo these are getting so dope

bro like they put an actual production for sure effects of it well yeah 100% of the submissions so far

very high production quality I mean if we were to put it side by side to these episodes three months ago it would be a shocking difference

the show has definitely evolved into a sort of a sketchy sort of production he said he never got a password oh Oh, that's weird.

It's seven-sevons. There you go. Seven-sevens is the answer. Seven-sevins if you're watching. Type seven in seven times because that's the best password. Yeah, it's funny because none of the other people even had to enter passwords. Oh, interesting. Indeed.

Right. And I think he's coming in. No, maybe in his second now. The poop shit did make me laugh. and I feel ashamed because that's, you know, my thing, but... It didn't make you laugh? No, it did make you laugh. Yeah, that's a...

That's a Robolo special. That has been in all of the Robolo submissions. I thought it was funny, too. And then the werewolf came and it really got me. The werewolf really fucking got me. And the bad voiceover on the guys, great. Perfect. Incredible.

It's pretty amazing that, like, when all those covering stuff, Michael Lairor did, And now Robolo's covering Manolo. Yep. Oh, I don't even know who I am anymore. Yeah. It almost seems like there's a flow to the show that, uh, oh, yeah. Stay over there. It almost seems like there's, almost seems like someone puts thought into this instead of just showing up with underwear on their head.

Shaking peas around. It looks like these collars actually know how to have fun. Oh, wait, that's underwear? No, it's a nice. Ninja mask. How fucking dare you? That's a swimsuit, that shit is corduroy.

What do you know about swimming? Oh, damn. Coro Ninja. Look, I fight to the death, all right? Oh, my goodness. Tony said shaking peas around. Yeah, what are those? What's in there?

They're beans. And beans? Got it from Manolo. Oh, my goodness. It's a shaker. Because you said you wanted things nice and mellow night. Yeah, no, it's great. I agree.

It's absolutely perfect While we're waiting Yeah Jeremiah, how was You were gone for two weeks A lot of people thought you quit Yeah I forgot your name, sorry

It's freaking raiden How was where you were Actually, I went back to Kansas City I went on a secret trip there And Overland Park Well now

now or Latha, but Ovalon Bark is where Raiden is from. There's as many black people in this studio right now as there are where Jeremiah was, by the way, if you're wondering, if you're like, hey, I wonder what the numbers in Olatha, Kansas are of black people, this many. That's the answer. It's actually not true at all. My mom has a black neighbor.

We hung out and played pool. It was a lot of fun. Yeah. They may have just been doing blackface in Kansas. What do you think about Anchamima And all this shit going down, David Lucas? That shit sucks, man.

Why they try to take Black people ask for equality And now white people try to take Black people off a pancake What are they going to put a white woman on there? I saw, I saw Ancha Mima at the grocery store I was like, should I just buy a lot of these right now? Yes, that should be worth a lot of money.

Yeah. Before we have... Do you guys really care about the logo on your syrup that much? Before we fucking have Aunt Susan's painting. Just eat the fucking syrup. Who gives a shit? That's a really fat get-rich quick scheme. is buying up all the end of my foot

and be like, I'm gonna, these are gonna be worth something someday. These are the new bean. Brian thought that's what's sipping on syrup meant. It's true. That's just like gold, bro. You can sell them on the black market or is, now they have to change the name of it though to the market.

You know what else they're changing, bro? Equality. They don't want people to use the term master bedroom anymore. Oh, yeah. This shit is getting out of hand. See, what's crazy is that I heard about that and I'm like, why? And then I'm like, oh shit.

And so like, like, people are, learning about racist things that they never even thought of or knew before. Like, I never thought the master bedroom had to do with what bedroom the... Massa. I don't even think black people knew that, though. I don't think anybody fucking knew that. Says the white guy. They want you to call it the primary bedroom.

I'm still calling my shit the master bedroom. There's a bunch of rich white kids right now on the internet that came from an all-white neighborhood Googling like, what can we change? I want to change things so that I feel like I made a change for the better. and they're finding out all this shit. The Lando Lakes lady is gone. It's just the... Uncle Ben's Rice?

To be honest. They should just change it to Peter Parker's Uncle Ben. Peter Parker, that was his uncle? That is so weird. You would think they would have named his uncle anything other than Uncle Ben. It's like we can pick any name for his uncle. What will we go over there? I think Rice sales would actually skyrocket if they change it to Uncle Ben from Peter Parker

from Spider-Man because there's so many Marvel fans there's so many freaking Marvel fans out there pretty wild yes there are but which uncle Ben would you have like which Spider-Man movie it's a good question Welcome back to Nerdsville Not the black one

We're gonna bring Drew Williamson back to Join us here Not the black one huh The black one his uncle named Ben Yeah yeah it's the same Character is just their Black Well how's it the same character

No, he's talking about Miles Morellis. Yeah, yeah. Miles Morales is different than Peter Parker. You're right. It's a different universe. That's deal, Ben. Why don't they just put spider, black spider pig on there? Wow. Welcome back to what the fuck is happening.

Stay over there. They should put 3-6 mafia on the syrup. Do we have any update, Joel, on Robolo? Haven't heard anything. His ass is canceled. Hold on one second. I'm supposed to be in Tempe at the end of the month. month, I guess.

I guess that's happening. Are you texting with him, Joel? 10 p.m. I tried, end of July. I sent him the password. Come checking out. Headlanding a couple nights. Did he get sent the link?

What do I work at a sausage factory? Okay. I still don't know the answer to the question I just asked. I said him the password. You know what I was just thinking? I fight till the death. I was just thinking this show has a really nice flow to it. I like it.

It seems more laid back. It actually really does. It's like lights and chill. You know what I mean? This is always the part of the show. where Jeremiah calls out something weird about the show that's not even happening. I tell you what, I watched the Ice House episode.

So weird energy in here, am I right? I watched the... No, we didn't even notice again. I watched the Ice House episode recently and before the first quarantine episode. And that was one of my favorite episodes because we were all chill. We were hanging out.

William was wasted and everyone, we were like babysitting a little kid and shit. But I thought it was a good time. It's fun. I mean, you know, We could always just fucking do a podcast. We always could. I don't know.

I just think that sometimes, you know, we got to keep some submissions going on and talk with people. And now that it's evolving naturally, just like everything does, you know, you go with the flow. Right? We didn't force people like, oh, you must do stand-up. It must be a stand-up submission. And now these things are coming in funny and they're getting literally more creative every week. And I like the sketch aspect of a lot. That's cool.

Yeah, certainly. We went from stand-up to sketch. sketches are great. I think I like that better than the stand of comedy, especially when people are taking the sketches and kind of like adding on to each other's sketches and making like a timeline. Exactly.

I think that's a great idea. Yeah, developing characters. Now you got characters. I'm struggling right now to get in. It won't let me in. Well, do you have to admit them? Yeah, I'm waiting for him to try. All right.

Well, I will say this. Well. The video was dope. Yeah, Robolo, the video was dope. I'm sorry we can't get you in. DM me and tell me what you use for that fake shit. I want to know. Yeah.

Why do you want to know that? Out of all the things you could have asked. I don't know what that fake shit is. That video was great, but where do you get your poop from? What that shit come from? All right. Well, it looks like Robolo's not going to be able to make it in. So.

That's my own fuck. Should we just move on? And then if he comes back later, we'll have. Yeah, let's try that. Yep, and we'll talk more about the making of that Robolo submission. If Robolo comes in later, that was Robolo, ladies and gentlemen. Doing a parody of Manolo, who did a parody of Michael Lair's Ryan Bedpan, which was a parody of... Brian Redband

So here we go Moving along Ladies and gentlemen Here he is the brother In cursive The one The only The Big Red Machine

Yeah Patsy Kline's Craziest of the crazies One of my favorite Top Young Rising comedians In the world Ladies and gentlemen It's time for William Montgomery

Yeah Please stop Hey What's up I was metal detected earlier. The Dixie Chicks. What about my toe and shit? A lot of people want to shit on Chris Delia,

but that's not as fetish. Whatever happened to the stop and move away from the vehicle guy. No, really, whatever happened to that guy. Chris Angel's greatest trick is how he made himself disappear. It's pretty obvious a black guy named it Cracker Barrel. No, but seriously, I want to give a rest in peace to Judith Barcy. She was the little dinosaur on that dinosaur movie, late 80. Judith Barcy's father

shot her in the head tried to burn the house down make it look like an accident I just want to give it up for Judith Barcy tonight y'all I got COVID virus All right William Montgomery

there you go Absolutely Hey William turn your camera sideways Hey red man see that a little bit slower you bitch Why I got killed that by rose Turn your camera sideways William Jesus General Robert E Lee turn that shit sideways There you go very good

Wide screen motherfucker Yeah nobody ever wants to talk about him General Robert E Lee They took the statute You're going to bring that shit up tonight? What's up, man? What you're drinking tonight? What do you mean?

What am I? Everything. A little bit of high seat. Mixed with a little bit of bunch. You're going to leave that. With a little bit of Sprite. Leave that kerosene alone, bro. Mix.

What? Stop drinking that kerosene, though. What are you saying? What does that mean? Is that a black guy? Oh, my goodness. William, I don't. I always feel like William's like one drink away from just saying the unword on this show.

He said it to me before. Yeah. Really? He always says it. What pussy said that? What pussy said that? I said that. That was Coro Ninja, one of the newest members of the Mortal Kombat.

Coro Ninja. I haven't liked you since five days ago. I swear to God, I will break into your parents crib or house, whatever you want to call it. He got your girlfriend underwear on his face. Don't fuck with me. Stay over there. Don't fuck with me. William, how you been doing this week?

What's going on with your mental health and things like that? I bought Tony. I bought $400 worth of board games on eBay. I bought $200. It's a good investment. Worth of the sub. Do you really believe that, Tony? Yeah.

Those are all going to be worth a lot more money. Have you bought any, uh, and your my syrup lately? Can you say that a little? little bit slower, you bitch. William has a little fucking fire to him tonight. It's hard for him to understand things. What did you just say, David?

You've been hanging around too many black people talking about you bitch. What did you just say, David? Too many black girls? It's funny. It looks like you're actually looking at him here in the studio. It looks like you're actually looking at David

in the studio where the way the TV's angled and everything and now it looks like you're looking at me. Whoa, now you're looking at Joel. Oh, Coro. Here's something I wrote, Hey, Jeremiah, how have boogie nights been on Wednesdays? What does that mean? Will you say that slower, you bitch?

Oh, Coro, come on. You're going to anger him. Hey, Jeremiah, how have boogie nights been on Wednesdays? I don't really get it. Can you explain that a little bit? Come on, Yosemite Sam. two years ago Jeremiah and I before he met his wife

he showed me the ways of whatever you want to call it down in Thailand we were having sex with people in my hotel room Jeremiah was on fire if you want to call it this is wild because we know everything

William Montgomery has ever said is 100% honest and true so Jeremiah what do you think about these accusations they're not actually accusation I'm being outed right now. Oh, wow. Cancel. Jeremiah. Yeah, I was on fire in Thailand having sex with people.

That girl walked up the steps and we shot her. And then I said, nobody ever wants to talk about that. And Jeremiah, you said, William, you're so funny. Just maybe. What else did Jeremiah say when you were in Thailand? Oh, I already know what. You freaking, you freaking turd. You freaking turd,

you freaking turd incliff. I saw you motioning the red band to get this ready. I can't believe you would do that to me. William, what else did you? Oh, yeah, what else did I say over there in Thailand, William? I just got $8,000 from the government. I'm buying a house. Black lives matter.

In Jeremiah, I told you can't buy an $8,000 house. We're not still. in the Orient. Hey William, what else did I say? Do I have your intention? You said to me so Judith Marcy I get it. You're sad. Her father

killed her. Is it true? She was the little girl in the cartoon. I think it was 1989. All dogs go to heaven. What are you talking about? Who says something about that? I mean, why do you bring that up?

That's not fucking funny. Hey, how's work, though, Will, for real, though. He's just talking about our history together. That's it. That's all it is. How's work? How's my work? I got fired two weeks ago.

You just started working last week. Yeah, I started working at Walmart. Whatever you want to call it. I got fired two weeks ago. What do you? I sell shampoo. You need a bottle of water, bro. That was my next question.

What do you do at Walmart? Clearly, you're the shampoo guy. You need a bottle of. Water in a nap. Okay. Wow. Where is he at? This does not seem like he's at a Cabo canteen up in the backyard that we're used to.

Yeah. Is this a different backyard? Are you wearing a shirt? This is a different place. No, I'm not wearing a shirt. Wow. Wow. See the red dye.

Oh, God. Oh, my goodness. Oh, William. Oh, William. You are shaped like a coffee. I'm having fun tonight. I'm shaped like a what? Like a coffee pot.

Like a pot? No, like a coffee pot. Like what you pour coffee out of into a cup. Like the tea kettle from... Like a coffin. Yeah, like the Kool-Aid man pitcher. You're telling me I'm shaped like a coffin? Actually, yes, a coffin works as well.

You get wider in the middle as you go down. The tea kettle from Beauty and the Beast. You're shaped like the ghost from Super Mario. Yeah. That was funny. That was really good. I'm sorry, can you say that slower, you bitch. You faggot.

Oh, shit. You're trying to get canceled, bro. You're going to have your YouTube page with a bunch of them. You're lucky or not in the fucking studio right now. Oh, my God. You'll do the math on that one. Oh, you fucking. You're not going to be able to do anything.

I'm bad enough. Judith Barcy is in the grave. Who's Judith Barcy? Final question, then we'll let you go. In Thailand. In Thailand. Her father. Oh.

Late 80s. out here in Los Angeles. Angeles and Tony honestly why bring it up I'm worried I'm gonna get murder there is someone who won't stop snail mailing me what is snail mail it's the regular USPS all right I baited you into that Tony you got me Tony what about next week I can show up at the studio oh no chance dude Hey Jeremiah What about next week? I can show up at the studio

Yeah, we can talk about it There's not enough Okay, you punk Oh my God I just said we won't talk about it You fucked with me Two years ago, dude I got a bitch pregnant

Oh my goodness We're fine up I have a child I said I'll have you on the show Calm down Huh, I have a kid William I'm gonna have you on You'd be glad you ain't black

bro, you would have been, don't got shot by the police. What? My kid's black? William, what's your kid's name? What did you name your child that you're not a father to? What's the kid's name? Sunflower seed. Sunflower seed. That's funny.

No, William, what's his real name? I want you to answer this. David Nickel. What did you just say? Yeah, I don't think you're allowed to say that word. You shouldn't be saying him. David Nicol. Whoa.

It's my three-year-old son. And he don't give a. shit no more. Wow. Y'all are talking about COVID. He's got it and he's getting on airplanes. Wow. The three-year-old's just getting on airplanes by himself?

He's getting on airplanes. I'm messaging him with his ear plug, his ear thing. And he's making people sick. Okay. All right. That sounds good. We don't care anymore.

We're infecting everyone. Hmm. My goodness. I bought $400 worth of monopold. boards on eBay three nights ago. Why did you do that? I don't give a shit anymore, Tony. Why did you buy all these monopoly boards, William?

Because I don't care anymore, man. I think I can jump off of a one-story building. Do it right now. Do it. This will be podcast history. Ladies and gentlemen, last week he climbed a tree. This week he's going to jump off of a one-story building. This is the first time this has ever been done.

Tony, what a great idea. Yeah, it was your idea. I'm kidding It's a joke Oh okay You sobered up dead Motherfucker You sobered up here

Two weeks About what got a shit together I didn't hear no more This is like a I heard about Judith Barcy getting killed by All right All right

There's a limit to how many Judith Barcy references This is like a tape That the cops find In an abandoned house All right William Was that a Hispanic person Yeah it was

You fuck. Yeah. We feel like we're watching the Blair Bitch project right now. Who said that? Totally Raiden. That was Raiden. What is this? Four-leaf clover field.

Good job. I'm now going to move back to Memphis. Okay. My comedy's not working anymore, Raiden. That was hilarious. You bitch. William. When did I start the comedy?

William, absolutely hilarious. I love that you're still writing jokes. That's going to keep that. that muscle strong for you. You have a very silly style that still works during this pandemic, even online. And I absolutely love it. You had Red Band and I almost fall out of our chairs on your please stop while the band was playing music. Absolutely hilarious timing and execution of that.

At some point, y'all let me, I want to come hang with you all ago. We are, we are. We're going to get, we just need, we just need. VR, VR. Yeah, we just need seven more Dyson air purifiers. and then Spencer Edwards? There you go. There goes William Montgomery, everybody.

This is the part where you just start saying random made-up names. You know you got to get rid of them. Judith Barcy, Spencer Edwards. David Nichol. Yeah. Well, that's William Montgomery. You know them, you love them. And we have gone during this pandemic missing some of our favorite legends of Kill Tony,

some of our favorite human beings and one person that we have not spoken with in absolute months is without a doubt one of the most famous people in the history of the show. She signed up at, I believe, the age of like 61 for her first time.

She got on. She has bucket luck like nobody else's business. She is a magical spirit and a super nice lady on stage and off. she's writing she made a lot of friends in the comedy business at the comedy store

and I love her she reminds me of my mom and she's a sweet sweet spirit ladies and gentlemen this is a submission from and the return of Afrodite some music and then here's

Aphrodite everybody here we go I'm so glad to be back on the Kill Tiny show Tiny, I so miss you so much doing your show out of a baby basket at the comedy store. Everybody just love you. You're so tiny and adorable.

Well, okay, okay. I'm just doing something to entertain myself because of this motherfucking goddamn coochial or pussy and the juices flying out the back of the head. Fucking virus. Killing people and shit. You can't go out and get no dick and play with nobody. I'm involved in my own motherfucking house. I'm fucking involved at my own motherfuckin' house.

I'm fucking totally chromatized with this shit. I had to do something before I losing my goddamn mind. I went out and bought me some dick. You can say what you won't. I did. I bought some dick and I don't give a fuck

what you think that I take your dick tell me before I lose my motherfucking oh, well I lose my mind. It's wrong. Coochie LaRody. Aphrodite. Hello, my love. How are you?

Can you hear us okay? Yeah. Hi. How are you? I'm doing fantastic Watch Manolo just pops out of the back

Aphrodite how do you feel about they're removing you from the bottle of serve Well they can kiss a duck ass Because I'm seeing It's gonna be surfing

And sweet motherfackers They could take away Aunt Jemima But nothing's gonna keep you From crawling On a bed of pancakes This thing is stupid Fatality

Oh boy Oh shit Look at those fucking things Hell yeah Age like a fine wine Look at you Jesus Christ A lot of people don't know this

But I actually Seen her tini's before? No I got I got a much bigger life Than I thought it would get Six months ago Tony had a bad night

But when the pandemic started and they started closing bars down, one of the last things that I did was I was on, I had just on a spot, I'd closed down the Ha Ha Cafe. I was fucking Jonesing for stage time, but none was to be found. And I knew bars were closing that night or whatever. And I saw on Twitter that the top shelf brass band was performing on some, some late night gig on Vine Street. And I'm like, you know what?

I'm going to, I don't have any, I don't have shit to do right now. I'm going to go support them. for the first time, uh, instead of them coming to our show. And I went and Afro was killing it on a balcony, singing her fucking hard out. The band was banging.

It was so cool. I'm so glad I made it out there. So, uh, yeah. Yeah. You're the best afro. What? What? You really made our night.

I love that. That was fun. We got to kick it for a bit afterwards. We all hung out. Um, uh, so how you been doing Afro? How are you?

Tony, I have been doing fantastic. I've been going out ever since this bullshit started. Ain't stopped doing nothing. And we're seeing friends in Long Beach and I'm going in the studio with Top Shell Brass Band. We got some hot news music. We're going to let you have it first, Tony.

I love it. I love it. You think COVID's a hoax? Are you a denier that the disease exists? Well, let me ask you this. Do you know what COVID means? No, go ahead. Tell us.

Is that one of your cousins? No, but, you know, knowing this damn history in this country, it probably is. But anyway, for those who don't know, COVID means certificate of vaccination ID. What fucking Facebook posted you see that? Fuck out of here, man. Fuck out of here. You got a fucking blinged-out bug in your nose, dick. Oh, come on.

Be nice, Jack. My head fucking, motherfucker You hungry Hey, man Your hands belong On the railroad worker Oh, come on David,

Don't roast Afro She's a sweet little thing I didn't know your tini's That big, Afrodite I'm drunk but I didn't know the bishops was like that You always got all the bags

With you at the comedy store Afro has the most amazing bucket luck I mean, I absolutely love her. I think she's a sweet spirit that mixes in well with the chaos on this show. She is proof her getting so many opportunities on the show that the show is not misogynist as so many people, you know, claim shows to be nowadays. It's not racist, clearly. We're not ageist. You're

proof that we are good people. We're not against, we're not weight. We're not weightest. 65, October 10th. Oh, wow. Wait, say that again? I'll be 65 October 10. It's going to be 10-2020. I fucking love that. You are a little spitfire you. What are you? You got a man.

Oh, you got a man now? Yeah, Ben had the same one. Oh, okay. Are you sitting on him right now? Where he at? Well, he was just over here the other day. Fucking real good, okay? How old is he?

My age, he's one year younger, but he's built like Hercules. He's six-three. Oh, shit. Get your ass out, baby. It took you all the fan on the mill. I'm not trying to fuck. I'm not trying to fuck. I just didn't never know what.

Huh? What are you going to do with that keyboard? You got a song lined up or something? You're going to give us a little dilly? I didn't writing songs at home because I felt people were so sad. And I wrote this song called We're going to Be All right. Kind of. 30 seconds of a minute.

Yep. Let's do 30 seconds. We'll be all right. Let's do 30 seconds of it, Afro. My hands are shaking. I've never done this. before. That's called diabetes.

It's all right. Oh, shit. Got a better drummer than we have. Uh-oh. What happened to her? The shit was connected to the keyboard. She hit the keyboard. We going to be all right.

Hey. We go be all right. Fuck yeah. Intro to keyboard. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Woo. We go. Skirt. Yeah. All right. Be all right. Hey. Hey.

Hey. We go. Hey. Skirt, skirt, skirt. You're going to be all that. Uh, uh, uh, fuck yeah. Y'all, you know she's not going to do 30 minutes.

You know that, bro. It's going to be three minutes. Be all right. Yes, we are. There it is. We going to be all right, Aphrodite. Thank you so much for that incredible submission. I mean for that performance.

She's going to be playing this for three more hours. Long after we end this Zoom call, she's going to still be playing. I love it. Yeah. We love you, Aphrodite. We love you so much. Thank you. Have a great night.

That's right. The great Afrodite, everybody. Fun. Adorable little change of pace there from all the from all the white people and the comedy portion of the show. A little visit from Afrodite. She fucked up a whole sausage to make that sketch. That is true. That was not... You don't think she ate it after.

That was not Adam and Eve product right there. That was fresh from the butcher. That's fucking L. Super. If you had to do butt or her vagina, which one would you do? If you had to? Yeah. This is one of the weirdest... Titties? No, it's only one or two.

These look 28. It's an interesting question. Vigina or butt if you absolutely had to. I go butt. Why? Explain your answer a little bit. Because I know that pussy got. Aphrodite.

Aphrodite 65 still fucking that pussy got 300,000 miles on it. Yeah, but what about her butt? That's like 500,000 shits. Yeah, but black girls ain't really into anal like that. Both of them is horrible either way. That's like a... My fucker butt and a bone comes out. Oh my God.

All right. That's good. I'm glad you said that. That's going to be... This way, I don't have to answer the question now. That pussy going to look like Arby's meat. No, you have to answer it. You have to choose one.

All right. Well... I choose butt. Okay. We got your answer, David. Jesus Christ. Good Lord. How many times are you going to butt-fuck Aphrodite?

Okay. Well, see how I rationalize this. Well, wait a second. Here's a follow-up question. Is this, if I pick butt, is it after David fucked her in the butt or is it still just her fresh butt today? It's reset. 65-year-old butt. Yeah. But it is her butt right now. We don't know how long ago she showered or anything like that. Oh, my goodness. At this current time or vagina. This is an interesting question. You know what? I'm going to let Jeremiah answer for. That's a hard one Jeremiah, you got to answer Or Raiden Raiden, she's still there She's back, she's listening

God damn Red Ben That fucking piece of shit Oh my goodness Get her out of here, bro With them fucking white-ass teeter Oh, but you be nice to Afrodite I love her, but we talk about her ass and her pussy And he got her right down to her.

Oh my goodness gracious All right, you know what? Just to be nice because I love Afrodeby. Come on, Jeremiah, you got an answer now. Jeremiah, go ahead. Quick answer here. If it makes you feel better, I'll ask Raiden. Okay, the butthole.

Oh. Okay, how about Jeremiah? The stakes are raised now. I can't let that slide. What are we next on the show there? The listeners want to know. I don't know if they want to know that back. Yeah, they do.

Come on, you have to answer one, Jerry. Just a quick answer. Just a quick, uh, you know what? Answer it for us, Jeremiah. Which one? Wow, Tony's so subtle. Yeah, it's impossible here. What's your matter?

Normally when we're doing our normal show, I subtly tap him and whisper. This is much harder. I have to literally, I'm like a football coach on the sideline. Ask Captain Underpants. All right, yeah, Captain Unpans. We're just going to say that Jeremiah meant, but for both. Yeah. All right.

We know what Jack. I say, get over there. What are you going to do, Joel? You got to answer. We know you can't get sick. So. Can I just sniff the afro? Come on.

A or B. You got to pick one. You have to put your wiener into one of the two holes. This is what the show has become now. You know what? Blindfold me and throw me at her. Nope.

That's not how you work. Still not an answer. Got to answer, Joel. We can only move on after you answer. Come on, Penn Diesel. Wow. I really picked the wrong week to not be drunk. All you have to say is vagina or butthole.

Okay. Okay, so that's a default of butt, by the way. Yeah. Everyone just so we know that's a default or both. That means he's dipping in going, okay, Jeremiah, thank you. Don't sing. Oh, love me. There you.

Very good. so that means that by not answering Joel has picked both the butthole and the vagina back and forth showing that he just can't get enough in front of his parents yeah that's true that's what he refuses to answer a simple question and he's a comic all right I love it by the way I'm going vagina and I'm finishing inside of her that's what I was she can't get pregnant she can't get pregnant it's going to look like it's going to look like one of those uh let's going to come out looking like one of those, like a chocolate donut, but with the vanilla icing, like a chocolate cake.

Yeah. Yeah, like a chocolate birthday cake that you get from a grocery store. Oh, God. I've got a shit in her asshole. Okay, okay, okay, okay. That's for, save that for the VR chat or something like that. Okay, we got Robolo is back. Is that right?

Did I see that correctly? Let's see if I, he felt like he, like ran out once he got in here for a second. Yeah, there he is. He's up there. Yeah, Robert. There we go. Yay, Robolo. What's up, buddy?

Hello, let's get you unmuted. Got to unmute yourself. Am I here? Yeah, there he is. Robolo. We loved your submission. It was incredible. How are you, dude?

Oh, I am good. Thank you, fellas. I had a mini stroke right there. I was on the fun times, but there was a miscommunication. I'm here. I was going to do a voice, but I was dying. And like, I'm an Amish, like, autistic guy. So I was like trying to get the shit going in my Robolo gear.

It was hilarious. Hey. But here's, oh, here's my friend here, Gavin, say what's up? He liked being on TV last time. I love it. Hi, Gavin. Oh, wait, what's this? What did we got here?

Uh-oh. There's like a bow or it looks like some sort of, uh, things from Adam and Eve. Or whatever. Bone in a go. Yeah, that sounds like it. That is from Madame Nita. Robolo, tell us about the making of the video that you sent in for us.

Tell us about that. A lot of production, an incredible video. Oh, thank you. Thank you. This child, man, he just ate it really bad. Right, dude? Okay, so I thought I was up to Auntie, you know. Manolo is a big figure. He mentioned something about the cartel.

I'm like, you know, I'm going to, the Robolo's going to step it up, and we're going to go to the cartel and tell jokes, and, you know, I asked them my buddies to do it. And the poo is made out of brownies. And Sam's Club, those fuckers hurt, man. Oh, those poop in the butts hurt. And they are real painful. The first take I did, it was like three hours of heating up those brownies.

And it literally, yeah, it felt like it sprained my nose. My goodness. Look how that kid popped up. This is like watching Christalia's DMs. Oh, no. Oh, God, he knows him. It's topical, you know? Heck, yeah, it works on everybody right now.

Hey, man. Hey, what are you getting weird? Oh, hey, look, to make it creepier, here's Gilligan. Hey, hi, Gil again. What's up? My brother who played the prosecutor last time was supposed to be a skipper doing cocaine. Man, chaos. I love it.

Hey, can you tickle that kid for me? Oh, I don't know, man. I'm trying to start a career. I don't know if she'll bite me, but all right. Get him good. More than that prosecutor earlier. I don't know if she was a prostitute, no offense. My goodness.

Sex worker. Hold on, Kevin. Manolo's living it up, and I am too, man. We just finished some popcorn. Oh, my goodness. Wow. I mean, look, dude, Manolo's got a lot of ketchup. I've got a kid.

Yeah. Manolo also has a lot of kids out there running around. Probably. I'm assuming so. I just want the thing. Like, uh... He's getting weird. Hey, about to investigate his ass.

Now it's getting weird. If you're wondering, hey, I wonder if it was weird earlier, not really. Now it's getting weird. Oh, boy. He like knows how to pick locks and stuff. He does? This is kind of hilarious. I wish I could show you my family would hate it.

There was literally like a team of people taking the truck. Taking the what? A child? All this sounds creepy. All the wording sounds. He's related to me. Nothing weird going on here. Well, when you say nothing weird.

Yeah, now it sounds really weird. Yeah. Now I don't even think it's your child. No, it's not. That's what he's telling us. Oh, my goodness. So now I don't like this tickled question I ask because I thought going in, it was his son. Of course.

Yeah. Now. Yikes. So, Robolo, how else has life been going for you this week, Robert? Oh, man. I'm living it up, trying to just stay positive during all this, you know, trying to keep busy, productive, trying to take up some more healthy activities, man. I've consumed a lot of pizza and disgusting food. I watched a really weird movie the other day.

Got in a weird place. Contagion. You guys remember that movie Contagion? Yes. That's the worst movie to watch right now. Yes. Not fun, but an outbreak I saw, and that movie's hilarious. Kevin Spacey, like, has AIDS in it and the Ebola.

Something happens to him, but it's a lot of fun. Still flustered over earlier. I had a stroke, I tell you. Okay. No, it's good. It's great. Lots of laughtering your video. All is well there.

Thank you guys. What's the deal with Gilligan? The Gilligan thing is a little bit confusing to me. I don't recall seeing him in the video. No, no. I was trying to get my brother to reprise. his role as the prostitute, but he couldn't tonight. So I thought of doing some Skipper Gilligan thing, and we didn't have much planning,

because I didn't know if we were going to be on or not, but it's just a fun. I mean, there might be some symbolism there. I don't know. It's like a David Lynch movie. Just pretend you know what's going on. You know, when all else fails and you have a half put-together idea, like Gilligan in the background, you just do it. You know what I mean?

That's what I learned at UC. B is if you have if you have playing your characters just roll with it and hope for the best and you did that here. The video was unbelievable. Again, big pop on the werewolf coming out of nowhere. Great stuff, dude. Oh, thank you guys. Yeah, no, the last video was out of whim. You know, I didn't know if I was going to do a normal character, but I was just compelled because Manolo is so hilarious.

And so I did that video and I got a lot of good responses and that feels good, man. I mean, it's a fucking weird time. We have no idea if we're going to be able to sit in a patio at a Chili's or if we're going to, you know, all get whatever. It's just, it's nice to, I appreciate you guys doing the show during all this. I have a question. Is that a belt that kids above the bed behind you? It is. Yeah, because it was mine and he made it his.

That's very small. Yeah. All right, bud. Fun times. Fun times chatting with you. Thank you so much. Again, you're one of the guys with an open invite. Anytime you send us a submission, we're going to shoehorn you right in there.

Great stuff, dude. Thank you so much. Very creative. Robolo, ladies and gentlemen. It's a podcast. What's your social media, Robert? Robert Land Pod. Yeah, on Instagram, Twitter.

Robert Landpod, all one word. There you go. There he goes. Robolo, everybody. Yeah. Fun times. We're plowing through it. Let's go through another one.

Ladies and gentlemen, this guy has submitted before, and he's submitted again. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a submission from Devin Clark. Ladies and gentlemen, here we go. We had the best time at your party. The wife and I, thank you very much. Here we go, Devin Clark. Hey, what up, y'all? I used to work at Yahoo.

You guys remember Yahoo? Yahoo was a hard job, man. We weren't allowed to Google anything. Google was like the N-worded Yahoo. Don't say it, don't use it. Very strict. I remember there was a lady there if she was brand new,

and she said it just out of habit, you know? She was like, okay, I'll Google it. She was never seen again. It's like, what happened to Pam? Pam's been erased. Erased. Damn. I need a job, though, man.

My uncle owns a hot tub store. called American Hot Tubbs. He said the industry's been hit very hard. He's throwing a Hot Tubbs Matters sale right now. It's like Black Lives Matter and so do Hot Tubbs. Get your black ass in a hot tub. 30% off. Very disrespectful.

I was out there protesting but I was not looting, okay? I was angry but I'm also unemployed. Like can I loot a job? Can I loot gainful employment? I would love to run into a store and then run out holding a career. Like, look guys, I'm a new manager at Applebee. I looted this job. I start tomorrow.

Hell yeah. Devin Clark, absolutely doodily. That's how it's done. Right there. Jokes, baby. Jokes. Hello? Hello, Devin. How are you?

I'm doing all right, man. I was kind of tired. I was in a long-ass line this morning. I was been in line for like three hours. Yeah, where were you in line for? I was trying to get my certificate of vaccination of ID. That didn't hit. All right.

Okay. Oh, the COVID. The callback. That's right. To the outflow down. Yeah. No, you got it. I'm starting off strong.

It was good. No, it was good. It was good. I love it. Devin, where in the world are you? I'm in Hollywood right now. I'm actually at a motel 6. I've been living here for a while since the pandemic.

The pandemic's kind of kicking my ass. How expensive is that? Well, see, it's through the V. transitional housing. Oh, that's great. I got out. The pandemic was terrible timing. Like I had, uh, I was running a room in a house and, um, receded.

And then I wanted to move it to my own place, but I need to save some money. I had a full-time job. So I said, hey, man, I asked a cousin, let me sleep in your couch for $100 a month for like a month. So I could save up money to move into my own spot. And I moved out March 1st. Pandemic hit 15th, got furloughed on my job, lost money. I had to call the VA for help. That's good, and the VA was there for you.

Veterans are doing pretty good right now, right? Yeah. But looking at Manolo, man, he's living a complete opposite of me. He's half-naked, gorgeous women in a nice house. I'm in a motel 6. He's at a motel Case. Hotel. I can't believe how good the Wi-Fi is at Motel 6 in Hollywood.

That's the thing that's surprising me the most. better than my house. This is off my phone, man. It's much better than... Oh, it's off your phone? Famously better than David Lucas's Wi-Fi. Some of the worst Wi-Fi. Dude, that's off his phone.

And he has Sprint. Incredible. Just incredible. My goodness. You look so familiar, bro. Where are you from? I'm from the Bay Area, but I live in L.A. Have you been on my live before?

Say what? Have you been on my IG live before? Have we roasted? No. Oh, you got a familiar. I see you at the store. You worked there. I see you in the point.

That's probably that's probably what it is. Okay. What branch of the military were you in, Devin? Army. Okay. Did you go anywhere? Did you go overseas or anything? No, man.

It was not a great experience. I spent two years in Army just trying to get out, really. I was a 94-mic radar repair. It's not a kind of job. Put me in, coach. A long process. A real American... A real American hero right there.

Salvation Army, Nick. Hell yeah, Devon. Yeah. So what do you been doing for fun? You're hold up at a hotel in Hollywood. What do you been doing to take your mind off all the stress? Well, I've been doing a lot of Zoom shows, but I also been trying to figure out a way out of my position.

Like, I decided to start a T-shirt company because nobody's doing that, right? So I've got a T-shirt company, and I'm going to just make T-shirts. I got a good idea for one called, Don't Be Gay in Mexico. I'll put that one on. Okay, Brian. Don't be gay in Mexico. That's a good one. Why does every black man start a t-shirt business?

All my black friends back home They asked me to invest in a t-shirt business They're like, bro, you got to do it's about 300 t-shirts. I'm like that. What else are they going to sell at the car washes? Hey, man, get your motherfucket-thong-thong-thong, thong, thong, head ass up out of him, bro. Oh, shit.

Wow. Devin, how long you've been doing stand-up? Eight years. Eight years. And how long ago did you move to Hollywood? Or to L.A. September. last year

Dallas. Yeah. All right. I really liked his set though. I thought that was really good. Uh-huh. Yeah. That is a great bit, bro.

God damn that was a great bit, but it's fucking time piece. It's not going to last long. Well, yeah. That's true. Yeah, that's one of topical type of thing. Yeah. Yeah, but it's good.

It's a great joke. It's good to exercise both. Topical's good when it's good. As far as T-shirts, David, man, you need to put I, I choose butt on a T-shirt. I think that'll say. Nah, that was just in that instance with her.

bro. I just don't trust that pussy. Oh my good. Why do you not trust? Oh, come on, Brian. No, come on. Why don't you trust Aphrodite's pussy? Because, bro, she, like, I don't know, bro. A lot of miles. Like, we talk about dick from the 70s.

Don't been in there. Like, I think there's a TV. I think there's a TV guide in there. She got the shaft from shaft. That bitch got the bullet that killed Marlou de Kaine and her pussy. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, shit.

She has nine of those 10 free CDs you get from Columbia Okay You can hold a black lives matter protest to her pussy Okay All right Got a natural

History African American Museum Jesus Christ This line of David Lucas jokes Brought to you by Casa Noble Tequila Got a black lives of matter All right

Well, Devin anything else crazy we should know about you or your life? I got a kid. Oh, really? How old's your kid? Five. Got a five-year-old daughter. Oh, shit.

My daughter's the same age, bro. Really? Okay. Maybe that's how you guys know each other. Single parent teacher conferences. They should be friends. You both live in Las Angeles. I know.

Your daughter not here, huh? Well, she's in the other room at Motel. No, she has a room. She lives in Irvine with her mom. Oh, okay. daughter's the only black kid in her school so I know our kids don't go together. Oh shit. That's a brag and a half. For those of you that don't know in the black community, if you tell another black person, my kid goes to the all-white school. That's like, that's an argument

ender right there. I'm better than you. Yeah. I'm just playing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you funny as fuck, though, bro? That shit made me giggle, bro. Yeah. Oh, thank you, man. Appreciate it. Really great stuff, Devin. So fun to have your submission. Thank you. so much. I need to try harder with the submissions. I know people doing sketches and short films. Hey, be goofy with it. Be goofy with it. Use that set that you have, you know. Use the Motel 6 to your advantage.

Yeah, do a review of the Motel 6. Imagine you doing a review of the stupid shit that you see every day, like, whatever. There you go. Red Band just wrote a sketch right then in front of all of us. Boom, I'm going to do that. I like it. All right. If you do it, we'll play it next week. There you go. Okay. Then I'm going to put it on a T-shirt. Yep. Absolutely. 100%.

The Motel 6 sketch by Devin Clark T-shirt available next week. So there goes Devin Clark, everybody. Thank you, Devin. And only now in your final. All right. That was Devin Clark. And now, and only now, in your final hour, do you realize the true power of the dark side as I present to you?

my favorite comedian right now. A guy who to me, while he's still fresh and new technically as a stand-up comedian, he is a comedy veteran and to me, you know, is filling the shoes of some of my favorite out-of-the-box creative people, like Brody Stevens and, you know, so many great comedians that, you know,

one door closes another one over, opens and this is one of my favorites, the great Michael Lairr, everybody. Here we go. Little bit of music for some reason. Here's Michael Lairer. Drug addiction is a systematic failure and worst targeting. Why does everyone get sympathy except cocaine? Big farmer has blown on his hands.

You fucking cocoa. Let anyone suck your wheelchair dick for this sweet cocoa. I sold my son Colin for cocaine. So many NBA players are styled on with Corona. Magic nonsense considering a comeback. Positively magic possibility. US law enforcement agencies talk to each other like a month of Rudy Tuesdays.

FBI, FBI, bye, and take it to your desk with your calculators. Big word calculator coming from a CIA. I say go kill yourself, but at least you're not down back chasing D-A. Slow your old alphabet suit. Are seizures pay for your babies in my cock makes? Is there a problem here? Then why all the rudeness?

Would you like... Coffee. You know I'm double part? Oh, Michael cut him and... Nice. NASCAR still employs Moron custodians. One left Nuneoose in the garage of Bobba Wallace. NASCAR plans to investigate, including removing from the gift shop,

The Kids Book, Catch the Goose on the Loose Window Noose. Every sport is stepping up. For over 100 years, M-O-B is spelled BLM backwards. Donald Trump bragged this week about the U.S.'s booming lobster industry. Sales of lobster up in Maine. Mail order bride has never been more affordable, and you want to believe how cheap it is to get a private island ticket. Dylan Dix are from my child.

Okay, fuck yeah. In unorthodox, wild submission from the great Michael Lair, everybody. Hell yeah. And here he is. He's with us right now. Are you unmuted, Michael? We got to unmute you. Hold on a second.

You hear me. Yes, we hear you now. Hello, Michael. You think you're hearing In my Bluetooth? Oh yeah, how are the new Bluetooth's working out? We had a quick chat during sound check And Michael informed us that he has new Bluetooth speakers

That he's very excited about From a daddy How are they working out? How are they working out? How are the new Bluetooth's? I love them. They're real high-end. and I can talk hands free so I can do my T-sheet.

Fuck yeah, dude. Looking ripped today. No doubt. Fuck yeah, man. Absolutely. So how's life going? Big week this week, huh? But yeah, my dad saw Ketoni for the first time.

Oh, wow. That's awesome. How'd that go? Is he a fan of the show now? He didn't know I was sick. Oh my God. Oh, no. Oh, what a horrible way to find out your son has Lou Gehrig's disease.

You're just tuning into it, watch and enjoy a comedy show, and boom, you're going to outlive your own son. What a horrible way to find out. yeah but you know the gift of laughter so all times oh my hey um babe and will you bring up the skinfest bio

have they changed that bio yet for you this has been yes will you read it Tony yeah this has been a long ongoing thing. They finally... Because Louis J. Gomez doesn't like money,

but I'm forced in hand. All the Hollywood power pumbers live him up like a fucking Christmas tree, and I got what I want. Okay. Why don't you read it? Yeah, I'm going to read it. They changed it. It was

originally Mike Lairer, And you famously said, who the fuck is that? And they changed it. Now your actual name is there. And then it says, so it says Michael Lairor. And then it just says, Tony Podcast. But get this. Michael's all jacked up from motor neuron disease.

Oh, no, no. God's hands again in parentheses. Hey, that ain't right. Redband. What's happening? Is that the wrong bio? No. It's right.

That's what you sent me. And honestly, Michael, being honest, I read it earlier, and I think he, I think they changed it. Did they change it on you? I don't know. What's the, uh... Oh, I think... Yeah, Lewis is trolling him. It's pretty apparent.

Wow. Yeah. You're a. You're a. and they get it Louis J. It's name first. Oh my goodness. I don't know what's going on.

Yeah, this is... Like, honestly, Michael sent me a link earlier, and that's the link. Yeah, they may have changed it again, Michael. It looks like this is going to continue to be an ongoing, an ongoing problem in your life. I know this must be... Again, they don't like money.

Yeah. And all I do is make money. That's true. I think, I don't think, I'm pretty sure Skankfest South might be delayed again anyway. Things are looking a little bit rough in Houston right now. Yeah. We'll see what happens. Hey, get this. You know how on Facebook I accidentally slimming that race more? No, I didn't even know about this. You're in a race war?

Well, anyway, long short, short. A good friend of mine, you know, we buddy said this a little, but it'll be fine. But I haven't to write before, give him my slap a tip on, on medical stuck on himself Michael, have you been day drinking today? You're a little slower than usual,

you look better, you You look better than ever But you sound like shit tonight Okay, well, that didn't get a laugh So now it just seems really mean Hashtag tuned I made my own bed you're right

I drink you're right I can't imagine I'm going to get out here but I want to tell you a few things one one Martin Moreau

was in my video with me your friend of my And I'm on M-M-R-O. All one word. Martin M-M-M-R-O-W. That's his Instagram and his Twitter. Hey.

And you're on Jeremiah's podcast. You're on a king-top. Oh. This, my band has the link, but, Nemeth brothers. Every show you buy this, they're like triple-matic. the funds for great charities and helping support.

Yeah, it's pro wrestling teas.com. And I have a feeling that Tony already knows this company. Yes, I do. I know them well. Very, very well. They have a lot of cool things going on always. And the Nemet Brothers, of course, that's the great Nick Nemeth, aka Dolph Ziegler, who is a hybrid, high-level professional wrestler

former WWE champion. Could be a champion again any day now coming up. And also a very good stand-up comedian. Tours all around the world with the great Saratiana. Look at this. You could just choose any restaurant. Like, I'm an Andre guy. Yep.

Look at this shit. Is it like that shitload just for Andre the Giant? They literally have all the best T-shirts there. I'm a Razor Ramo fame. They have an incredible store that you can walk in in Chicago, Illinois. I always go there when I'm in Chicago. And do you go? with us?

Me, you and Sutter. That's right. Oh, yeah, I wasn't there. I said in Joel. Yeah. Calm down. Very fun. And you're on, um, Koro Ninja.

Calm down. You're on, uh, Jeremiah's podcast this week. Yeah. And I'm not drunk. So listen. Yeah, that's going to be good. Yeah. Yeah.

They came out. The reviews are in, baby. Fuck yeah. Well, where we come. And this is your, uh, This is also your one-year anniversary of doing stand-up. Is that correct? Yes.

Fuck yeah. Yeah, and want to hear my first show? Yes. All right. I roll my sense, and I'm shaking, and I'm nervous, and I go, when people see me, and then struggling to. talk and straining on control

a being they always have the same question the answer is yes I fuck on the first day I fuck with

still funny a year later absolutely when in that work baby iron sharp and I'm Though my videos are too long. I'm in the face. No, no, no, no, no.

Michael, I appreciate your video quality that you've been sending in lately. I love the opening. Like, I saw the unedited version of you typing in the beginning part, your graphic part. Like, you sent that to me. I love it. You are kicking ass, man. I love it. And please make your videos longer.

Yep. Yep. All right. You're full of shit. No. No, no. We'll talk in chat later. We'll talk in assholes.

Everyone has one. And this frauds my videos. Everyone has a different opinion. That's right. 100%. I love it. I love it. You know you have full creative control.

You're given the keys to the car. All right. Especially since. He turned me on to this lion's mane. You guys know about this? The mushrooms. Yeah. Tony.

I'm two... Explain it for the audience. I'm two weeks in, and let me tell you something. I was talking with him. Michael and I text a lot. He's a shockingly fast texter. I don't know if he does... I can't...

I don't know whether he fucking uses voice activated or his nose. I don't know how he does it, but this mother... You know it's not voice. Yeah. Whatever you do. don't know you know it's not voice that's for sure because that would that would be some tough you that would be yeah yeah i love that thing i have that too oh wow i have that i have that also michael it's so good like you could just walk around the house and like you just have the phone

floating in front of you now in the future there's not going to be a thing around your neck it's just going to be like hovering it in front of your face it's going to be amazing okay the liquor has kicked in it's scene number one I make all my videos like this I love it red red band has one of those but he uses it for a frosty from windows he just sips it all day that's incredible but anyway michael and i text a lot now and um and he turned me on to this uh lion's mane because we were talking about how fucking unbelievable his brain is and he gives a lot of credit to that, which helps your motor neurons and things like that. It just keeps your fucking extra sharp.

And normally, I'm not a big supplement guy and all that. But it's been now, it's been two weeks. What is this? I'm looking at this website, right? This is the right website? What are you talking? What is this? What's the best one? Michael.

You go to Paul Stammer. Yeah. His company. Yeah. Yeah, there is a specific company. He's a rogan friend. Yeah. He's telling them there all the times.

Yeah, I think, I think... But his company makes them. Yeah. Yeah, Paul Stammer. The best ones. Uh-huh. He's the foremost mushroom in their country.

And just like magic mushrooms, you know, they have so many different benefits and qualities in this and that, but I've been trying to, you know, sharpen up because I've been fucking, you know, not performing and this and that. And, and you don't. know exactly where your brain is at and this stuff I mean I don't know I'm pretty positive it's

fucking working I think it makes me uh I get shit done faster and get to relax quicker in the day because I uh take care of all my crapola early in the morning and clear thoughts and I mean I was riffing this weekend on stage after not doing it for three and a half months was my first time performing with lions mane running through my veins and I'm just saying effects was it like like I just think it's just a normal sharpness just like sort of anything you know what i mean like it's uh i've heard of people that have concussions eating it to sort of like help their rehabilitation yeah yeah um chromon motor neuron yeah neuron yeah it's brain shit it's good for your brain is the point and uh and michael michael hooked it up so um what if you take it that and uh african

Afro brain at the same time. Alpha brain? Alpha brain. Oh boy. I'm thinking of Aphrodite. David goes, I'll do the butt. Can you hear me? Yes, we hear you, Michael.

Isn't it crazy that David got stone cold, sober looking at redband? Everybody's wasted today. Michael, go ahead. All right. You know how melting? Yeah. All right. So I know everyone

to ask you to ask Joe Rogan chant, and you know I'm not that guy. But tell him, you have a friend who is nothing and ask wholly mushrooms. If he has any mushrooms, then maybe help me. And I take his mind.

mushrooms four times a bit. Okay, I will ask Joe Rogan. That's not a problem at all. I will ask Joe if Polly Mushrooms has any special mushrooms for my friend that is melting, Lou Gehrig's disease a few years into ALS, and if he has anything special, and that he takes his mushrooms four times a day, and if he has anything extra, that would be great to know, right? Is that right? Why were you talking shit that you couldn't understand me? Oh.

And you got all the way right. No, you, no, what happened is that you sobered up when you saw Red Band as well. And you actually sobered up through this interview as well. Something about Afro brain sobered up everybody to. What is he talking about? Oh, my goodness. The sound effects are loud, everybody. Michael, we love you.

Love you, Michael. Thank you so much. You're the fucking king. You're a god. I love you guys. Have a bless every week. And in five minutes, I'm going to start these weeks. Yeah, we love it.

All right. Michael, we love you. Have a good night, buddy. There goes Michael Lair, everyone. The great Ryan J.E. Belt drew tonight's episode, believe it or not. And that is right here. Here's the drawing. Look at that

Oh my goodness Gracious How fucking cool is that It's like a It's like a Mega Man type of Is that right? What is that? It's like Mega Man meets Mortal Kombat

It's very cool That is so cool That's pretty much That's incredible Mecca, a little Mortal Kombat Yeah That is awesome man He did that from the start of the episode

To now While you all sat around doing probably less than nothing. He completed that entire project. Just incredible. Every prints available, Ryan J.E.E.Belt.com. He's doing incredible auctions right now. He is giving you all an opportunity to get state-of-the-art kill-tony artwork

at a fun price, and it all, you know, it all goes to a good cause. Ryan J.E. Belt, support your local white artist. You know what I mean? All this stuff going on, people are forgetting about white artists out there and Ryan J. We could actually go to his website right now and look at it. Ryanjeebelt.com? Ryan J.Ebelt.

Here we go. We're going to Ryanjeebilt.com for the first time in this show's history. Here we go. All right. Oh, is this? What is this? Get out of it. All right.

Look at that. Heck yeah. There we go. And then you're going to go to Kill Tony. Oh, there it is. Easy to navigate website. Look at that. Look at all that incredible artwork. Look at this one. Uh-oh. Oh, look at that. An oldie buddy goody. I remember that episode. Ian Edwards. You got a bunch of good ones in here. There goes, it's Burke Kreischer and Kirk Fox right there. I remember that one very clearly. goes on and on.

There's so many. That's Sinbad and... And... Dan St. Germain. Dan St. Germain. Indeed. And Gerard Carpichael. Not Sinbad.

Sorry. Sorry, Ryan. My goodness. Anyway, a bunch of dates going up, things like that. Everything's happening. Just signed on today to do La Jolla 9th through the 12th. Unfortunately, and trust me, I fought long and hard for this. But unfortunately, we can't.

do a kill Tony that weekend. Unless we do like a hotel episode. I don't know what that means. This is, man, do I not miss the days of you drinking during kill Tony? This is exciting. This is a great reminder of the difference. Anyway, but I have a new website, Tony Hinchcliff.com. I mean, not new.

They just revamped it. It's a little bit sleeker, easier to see the upcoming tour dates, even though never a worse time to have clean, sleek upcoming tour. tour dates on your website. Perfect timing, Tony. Such a great business man. But a bunch of dates are there. I mean, we're going to try our best to make it to these things. It's a nightmare. I'm booked for Miami at the end of July. Look at Tony's new website. Look at that. Look at that. Straight to the dates, baby. Look at that.

Look at that. That's what I wanted. Said, fuck this shit. Give them the dates. They're like, what about your bio? What about that? Kill Tony. I like it too because you can like click on just the Tony Kill Tony dates. Yeah, it's very clear now. That was a thing that annoyed me

forever. There's Kill Tony. If you want to see me do stand up, that's Tony Hinchcliff. There's stuff coming up. Look at this. Wait,

scroll up. Scroll up a second. Let me just show you how, okay, Boston's there. And then Miami's above Boston, right? Yeah, it's pretty much,

pretty much all the highest COVID-rated cities. I turned down Phoenix last week because they're like, you want to go to Phoenix in two weeks. It's only on the table for a second. I'm like, no. What are we talking about? Like, do you have a life insurance policy out on me right now? Like, what's happening? Phoenix, Miami, Houston, Brazil.

They've tried to get me to Brazil. No, I'm kidding. Anyway, it's all happening. Roast in China. Roastmaster class is happening. We're having a lot of fun over there. We're at over 100 students on my new weekly show. It's a Patreon thing. So if you're poor, don't even. tease yourself by going to my Patreon because it is a show of value. So don't go there and then become completely depressed. Oh, you can't abhorner. What the

fuck is this? I'll just watch reruns of Joe Rogan. Yes, yes, you will because you're poor. But if you're not poor, go to patreon.com slash hingecliff and join the new class. You get a diploma, a bumper sticker, a bunch of cool shit at Roastmaster class. Anyway, here's the rest of the crew.

The leader of the band, ladies and gentlemen, as always, my love A guy who I've been all around the world with. All right. We talked earlier about Afro's butthole or vagina. This is a man that I would have sex with if he let me. Jeremiah Watkins. I don't know.

I'm trying to be nice. Hey, there it is. And he's back, people. Venmo at Jeremiah Dash Watkins. And Michael Lair is on Jeremiah Wonders this week. We had a great conversation and a lot of fun improv on there. And I'll be...

What the fuck you were talking about earlier, though, with the, like, the Will Arnette, not Will Internet. Okay. Brian. And then I'll actually be at the Timpy Improv headlining a couple nights at the end of July. So see you at Tempe. And good to be back. There you go. You're getting the weekends that I'm turning down.

I'm just kidding. The Timby Improv, one of the best clubs in the country. Jeremiah is a monster. He's out there doing great material. and taking risks, making videos for you people, doing crowd work, a bunch of fun stuff. Jeremiah Watkins, catch him, everything. Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez was here tonight. I'm going to let you guys in on a secret.

He was the ninja. He was the ninja the whole time. Joel, tell us something. You got the mostly sorry podcast. You're mostly sorry on social media. What else? That's it. We premiere the new episode tomorrow.

We've been doing live chat. Tomorrow, five o'clock, L.A. time, whatever the fuck else. We love Joel. No one's had more corona scares than this guy. I mean, it is incredible. Can I just say, too? When I got here, I don't know, David did something and then his spit flew into my eye. This whole show, that is all I've been thinking about. I put Pirel on my face.

I'm freaking out. I'm going to go home, probably get tested again this week. That's good. So thanks. That's good. Motherfucker, you good. I ain't got shit. Damn right.

David Lucas at David Lucas funny Yes sir Tell us more We'll see what's up man Hopefully I'll be in La Jolla with Tony The date two talking about But other than that I ain't got shit

I just did the American comedy company This past weekend in San Diego Shout out to them boys down there It was lovely thanks for everybody who came out Thanks for all to Kill Tony fans who came A lot of Kill Tony fans Showed up and showed the fuck out Your goddamn motherfucking right

Kill Tony fans are the best comedy fans In the world There's no doubt about it. Who would have guessed that people who watch a show where comedians talk to comedians about comedy? Who would guess that they would be the best comedy fans? And also David Lucas's episode of, he's a guest professor on this episode that just dropped last night on the new Roastmaster class. People have been tagging me in it already. And you were an incredible interview.

He talks about his method, which is very helpful for people that are just learning how to make fun of people about identifying people as the animal that they look closest like and then a hobby that you that animal would do it's incredible he literally gives you a a a a a uh a uh a a uh a a a uh a uh a uh a uh a uh a playbook on how to uh have silly fun roast jokes it's really cool really awesome stuff it was two hours you and i spent together almost so um anyway right redband hey guys uh we are recording right now from death squad studios we do a podcast called dead air every Tuesday with Brian Holtzman and then William Montgomery

and David Lucas every Wednesday check it out deskwad.tv fuck yeah redband's about to vomit right now these guys drunk as I even seen you this drunk in three and a half months what is this San Francisco? Oh no good night everybody

God damn toys are in a can't know.