KILL TONY - KILL TONY #463 – QUARANTINED #18

Episode Date: July 17, 2020

David Lucas, William Montgomery, Michael Lehrer, David Deery, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 07/08/2020 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, Death Squad.TV. There you have everything Kill Tony, including past episodes, video portions to the show. And you could also click on tour dates to see if we're touring anywhere. That's Death Squad.tv. Tony has his own website. Go to Tony Hinchcliff.com. There you have everything Golden Pony, including his own tour dates and his merch.

That's Tony Hinchcliff.com. Ryan J. Ebelt, he's the house. artist, he draws every episode and he sells prints of them. Go to Ryanjeebilt.com and pick up some cool Kill Tony stuff. And last but not least, the official merchandise of the Death Squad universe is Shop Squad.tv. There you got some Death Squad hats, shirts, and you also got some Kiltony shirts left. That's at shop squad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Redband. Come to you live from the world famous comedy store, room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony.

It's glues. Yeah. Here we are again, live from the railroad famous. Brian Red Band, how are you? Hi, how's it going, Tony? Good. Good to be here. Happy to be here at the comedy story yet again for another episode of Kill Tony. We have a fun show lined up for you, as always. We just ate some delicious Vito's Pizza, and I'm very excited to have that in my belly. The great Ryan J.E. Belt is Ladies and gentlemen, drawing tonight's episode live from right here at the comedy store. I'm all jacked up on Amazing Caveman Coffee. Me too. Got to get that new tea they got.

That's so good. The Hibiscus tea. Put it over some ice and kicks it up to a whole other level. You can get all that at Caveman Coffeeco.com. Type in the promo code Kill Tony. Save some money. Ryan J.Ebalt.com has every print available of Kill Tony ever. and it's also being auctioned off as of late.

So follow him on social media at Ryan J.E Belt. So yeah, exciting, exciting stuff, Brian Redband. A lot of wild stuff happening. Good job on the fight companion, man. That was a great episode. You and Joey Diaz. Very exciting to fill in for the COVID brothers. Yeah.

Brendan and Brian Callan. Because Brian Callan's almost dead. Yeah. It affects the people in that age range very deeply. 75, yeah. Yeah. So they were just. to want meet and greets after some shows in Texas.

Meathead and greets, perhaps, is what it could be called. Meathead and greet heads, perhaps we could call it. But, yeah, now's a good time to not do meet and greets. No doubt. I mean, just going to Texas alone is pretty dangerous. You know, if you want to get a photo with your favorite comedian, now's a good time to learn how to Photoshop. You know, just put yourself in there.

You and your favorite comedian right in front of Mount Rushmore. Yeah. Or perhaps like, perhaps an ocean or perhaps a, you know, you really have a stonehenge behind you. Yeah, you could do it in Zoom. Yeah. I have a picture of me and George Carlin outside of the comedy store. Wow. Yeah.

That's great. I got a recent picture with Robin Williams. All right. Anyway, exciting stuff. And as always here on Kill Tony, we always have the coolest sponsors. And I am so excited to talk about this one tonight. Oh, yes. our newest sponsor, Lucy Nicotine, is a company founded by former smokers, like us,

who are finally making tobacco alternatives that don't suck. It's 2020, get rid of your cigarettes, unplug your vape, throw out your tins of dip, and go get some Lucy nicotine gum or lozenges that actually taste great. Now, I still vape sometimes, but I've cut way back thanks to Lucy nicotine gum, and as you know, I used to smoke cigarettes continuously up until two years ago. Both of my parents smoked when I was growing up. My dad's still a heavy smoker at 72.

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It is unbelievable. It is incredible. A subscription to Lucy comes directly to your door each month. So, so, so simple. It's 2020. Lucy has delivery down. This is the real deal. Use the promo code Kill Tony and you will get your first trial order of gum or lozenges at the lowest price they're allowed by law to charge you.

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We have four pre-selected sign-ups in the bucket. Recommendations from people close to the store, and one new comedian and one that we met during the quarantine that we said should come to the comedy store and sign up when things get back. they are back. So we're going to meet them tonight. However, before we get to the bucket, ladies and gentlemen, there is a band on this show. Every week they commit to being different characters. We never know what they're going to be and what they're going to do. Ladies and

gentlemen, I do present to you right now, the best stand band in the land. It is the Kill Tony band. Jeremiah Watkins, Jetsky, Jesse Johnson, Joel Burgell Jimenez, and Prova Chris. I'm so excited about this. This is the first time we've had all four band members in over four months. I know. Can you believe that? Welcome back, Jesse. Incredible.

We're all perfectly spaced out, a perfect six feet apart, and we are back. What's your name, head flight attendant? My name's Gavin, but you can call me whatever you want. Gavin? Gavin, yeah. Gavin, okay. And this young lady, hello, how are you? Hello, I'm going to thank you for flying kill Tony.

My name's Sandra. I want to remind you in the unlikely chance that we do crash that redband can be used as a flotation device. I love it. This just in, we can also use Tony because he is also full of hot air. Oh, there you go. Very good. Absolutely. And what's your name, little Mexican blonde boy?

Excuse me. My name's Dylan. and I'm here to serve hot nuts. Okay. Very good. I'm being informed that my name is actually Daryl right now, so it's Daryl. Wow, that high elevations getting near. Getting to his head.

That's right. And how about you, a bass player? Oh, hey, Tony. My name is Chris with a K. I'm the lead bartender on the plane. Okay. I've been stealing for years. Oh, my goodness.

All right. Well, okay. We have flight attendants. tonight Southwest flight attendants. I'm very excited about this and let's have some fun, shall you guys want to grab your instruments because we're about to get this party started right now and we're getting it started with a bang. Normally this guy is what we would consider in the business a closer. However, we're going to have some fun tonight and get the episode started with him. Ladies and gentlemen, one of my favorite human beings on the planet, the dark lord of regulars

in the history of Kill Tony. Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only. Michael Lairr, everybody. Here we go. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Michael Lairr, everyone. Here we go. Got to move up. There we go.

It's very important that part. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Michael Lairor. So I've illustrated just had their first transgender smith. She got the job by beating the death the other models by using her manpower. Holly Berry said she won't play a transsexual. Hopefully she plays that waitress again, who gets a doggy from Billy Bob Thornton that was hot as fuck

and she wanted to ask her dance with the partner you brought to the party speaking of party shout out to Gobond Medicaid repairer for making my boss feel like they're getting licked

all day living in the moment no regrets one regret I wish my generation has as much passion as this generation for eating an ass. Man, the band sounds great tonight,

little ace of spades from Motorhead with our very own Motorhead himself, Michael Lair, getting things kickstarted here. Yeah, that was awesome. Even better than the band, the fucking audience. The audience.

Yeah. Yeah, the audience rocks. I love you guys. Heck yeah. Hell yeah, Michael, fully hallucinating that there's an audience in the room right now. This is exciting. That ALS medicine must be fucking bumping right now. Oh, man, this is so good.

I buy them in an alley and it's an awful label. You get your ALS medicine in an alleyway? Yeah. Wow. Well, that's Medicaid. Oh, okay. You know, HMO. HMO.

I noticed you have a, like, a spray bottle. Is that for your nurse-slash-girlfriend? No, because of my disease, I get overheated a lot. Oh, look at that. That's fucking hot. Wow. I like that. That was sexual.

Thank you. Yeah. But I've been working on my physical therapy Because the thing is, I can't walk, but I can stand. So I'm working on standing for a set, and I'm in crazy good shape. Hold on. Oh, shit. Are you about to try to stand up right now?

No, I'm fine. Oh, fuck. I mean, no, I'm fine. I got water socks on. What are water socks exactly? They so on those. What could those be? You just spray.

That's what the water socks are for in case he collects in his socks. Casey sprays. Oh, water socks. Michael, are you purposely wearing your glasses like Weekend of Bernies right now? Yeah. Weekend of Bernie's with my company. Because I knew I'd be dead before I became Before I finished being a community

How long are we allowed to do that to your body after you passed away? We're going to weekend at Bernie's you How long? Like we get like two months with your corpse or something? Well, it depends on what Patreon you signed up for. Oh, okay. Yeah, I got you, fuckers. I like that.

Hey, I'm sharp as a text. So, all right, let me stand. You are, you are sharper than tax day. You are right. Yeah. Approveing. All right. Wow.

I want to improvise one stand-up joke. So give me a suggestion. You wanted to do what? A suggestion? Yeah. I improvised a stand-up joke. Okay, a Jewish deli. All right.

Hey, how about those Jewish delis? All closed now because of corona. Hey, if you hate the Jews, the Chinese fucking virus took caramel for you. Oh, my God. All right. What the fuck was that? Wow, we got to see what fucking level 30.

second city gets you right there. That is some of the best improv I've ever seen in my life. Fuck you, Jewish delis. That is a big fuck you. COVID took care of them, didn't they? I recently heard from my doctors.

They think maybe I should go for testing, but I might not have a way of this. I might just be an alcoholic drug addict. Oh. Yeah. So,

cross your fingers. Yeah, I will definitely crush my fingers. Oh. No. Yeah. Doing

magic. I learned magic. You learned how to do magic? Yeah, during quarantine. Can I show you? Oh, please. If you're going to do a magic trick right now, I'm going to lose my magic.

mind. The band is like You want some Asa Spade's Motorhead? It seems like that. Yeah, whatever. All right.

All right. Here we go. Here we go. You like the gamble. You got to know the name. You win some, lose some. It's all the same to me. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Oh, here he goes. Oh, it's happening. Oh, shit. That's toilet paper? Oh, no. He's a, he's making.

making that come out of his penis, I do believe. It's coming is that hard. This is my favorite magic trick I've ever seen. This is clearly a side effect of ALS. You can't spell balls without ALS. That is an incredible magic trick. It seems as though he's pulling white plastic out of his penis, which the craziest part of this magic trick is that his hair.

hand is covering his penis and he still has his pants on. So it's crazy. It's going through his pants and there it is. There it is. And he did it all while laughing very hard. Most magicians don't laugh that hard during their own tricks. But Tony. Yeah. Chroma Chris said is that his hospital bill receipt. Chroma Chris. I'm putting he deserves this. I'm going to put this in the middle now. Oh my God, that is so fucking funny. My God,

you are a man of so many talents, Michael Lair. It is absolutely incredible. Now you can add comedy, improv, magic to it. And you're doing something with film as well, right? Yeah, I'm entering a film

communication that's not tomorrow and they give you suggestions like Top Chef, you know, like you have a boomer. What did they suggest to you, Jewish deli?

Yeah, and you want this one person in your film has to be returned. Has to be what? Disabled? Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm going to do a monologue, but I'm going to crush these fucking disabled film. Do you have an idea what you're going to do? No, they give you the suggestion to them all.

That's even better. Talk about wheelhouse. Yeah, no, definitely. That's all you. So you're going to do a monologue tomorrow? No, I'll get the suggestion of what to make the film about tomorrow. And then I'll have like four days to make the film. It is for Easter season.

And then there'll be an industry panel. and when I win, I'll tell them all that go fuck themselves. Yeah. What is the prize? Do you get like a cure or something? Yeah, you get a milk card cure, you fucking fun. And that's for Easter Seals? Yeah.

Easter Seals? Tony, Tony. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, okay, okay. Wow, somebody's really on their game today. Let's talk about that set a little bit. Were you talking about, I got, I lost a part at a second. You were talking about Angelina Jolie?

No, I'm Holly Baron. Oh, okay. Yeah, I miss that part. I caught back up at Gold Bond powder, though. Oh. You know, I was using Gold Bond recently, and I guess my balls got so sweaty. that it just made like a dough. Oh, wow, that's completely fucking disgusting.

Are barf bags at your seat. This episode is sponsored by Vito's Pizza. Oh, my God. Go get your Vito's pizza and the fresh dough. Oh, my God. Do you put the gold bond on yourself, or you have someone do that for you? You know.

You put that on yourself. I picture your balls just look like the table from Scarface, just a big white pile of fucking powder. It's fucking, fucking, Nice. I'm I have a $1,000 monthly Gold Bond button.

You have a $1,000 monthly robot button? Gold bond button. Oh, gold bond. Gold bond budget. I thought you said a robot button. Hey, maybe I should sit up and speak literally. Yeah, no, you're doing good. This is great.

All right. I love the look. I love everything that's, going on here. So now that I know it was Hallie Barry. Yes. What did you say again? I said, Harley Barry is turned down a role that play a transgender person.

And I hope and said she plays the waitress again who gets a doggy from Billy Bob Thornton because it was hot as fucking and she won an Oscar. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. And then when you say this, generation eating ass better than our generation. Yeah. So like you're talking about the people that are kids now.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I really don't see. I don't, I don't, it'll be interesting to see what happens there. What do you mean? Well, I mean, it just. They're already doing it, Tony. Are they?

They're already eating each other's asses. I feel like, I don't know, I feel like this future generation, they're being raised with iPads and things like that. Yeah. with a bunch of pictures of assing, and now they're all trying it. I don't know what the kids are doing nowadays. They're eating ass.

They are. How do you know this? Because I used to date younger people. Wow, look at this. You got a little fucking little bit of that Delia running through your veins. You know, I think it's true because they're watching all the craziest porn now. You know, like the kids aren't looking at Playboys. You know what?

You're absolutely right. That's a really good point. Ass eating's like just fucking, that's first base for them. Yeah, ass eating is the new missionary. Yeah, man. I wonder what's next. I wonder what, what, like, where do we go from here? If they're desensitized to that level,

how's it going out in the parking lot, Mike? Everything's good. Two thumbs up. Shout out to the audience. It's live in the parking lot right now, joining us. It is wild times here at the comedy store during this. this new normal they're calling it.

The people are calling it. So, yeah. Michael, you eat ass and you've had your ass eaten, is that correct? Yeah. Which one do you prefer the most? Eating ass or having your ass eaten? I... I know.

I know. Modern day, Michael, they're getting your ass eaten. I'd imagine there has to be a little. bit of cleaning that goes on before. I don't know if you noticed, but when he stood up, there was a hole cut out in the seat of his chair. Oh, wow. I won my assing once. Never again.

Why? Why never again? You didn't like it? No. What did it do for you? Nothing. If it didn't, I'd invite him more. I just noticed something Michael does.

I've never noticed before. A lot of times he has his handout, just like, you know. Yoda from the millennium? Yeah, he's got the force. Yeah, little baby Yoda when he puts his hand out. Wow, I actually felt something when you did that. I felt a little tingle. Oh, my, whoa.

I'm your leader. My God. That is incredible. Do it one more time. Hold on one second. Wait, give us a second. Okay, do it one more time in your hand. I'm your

You can't even Oh, okay. Oh, okay. He's not doing it anymore. None of this is working. Stop, stop, stop. Everybody's stop. Michael, anything else?

It's making a funny face. I don't know. I mean, I think it went right. Red Rover, Red Rover? I think it went all right. I hate when I don't talk because I'm not drunk or too high. The laughing is because of the disease. So you take it easy.

We love you. We wouldn't change a goddamn thing. Thank you. I love you guys. Michael. Lights out. Lairr, everybody. There we go.

Ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Wow, wow, wow. That's a way to get the party started here tonight with the beautifully great comedy stylings of Michael Lair. Everyone loves that.

There's a little switch to the batting order for you tonight. Starting out with our cleanup hitter, our power hitter, right, from the get. We have some wacky, signups tonight. I'm excited to see what happens here. A lot of new faces. Are the comedians that are in the bucket actually in here?

They are a couple are in the back there and the others are outside patiently awaiting. There's like a 20 second delay out there. Whatever happens happens. But your first comedian, we met him

over the quarantine. This guy is a roast battle extraordinaire. This is one of my favorite roast battleers. He's probably already on his way to the stage If there's a 20 second delay Ladies and gentlemen This is definitely one of our favorite people That we met over the quarantine

A true California native The one, the only Lose digits, everyone For his first time Live in the main room of the comedy store I'll be back again Leaving On a Jet Play Yeah

Here he comes Los D digits everybody Here he is Right there Right there, right there Yeah, what's up Here he is one more time for Los D digits What's up foo?

Should I start my minute now? Hey, you can tell I'm Mexican as fuck Yeah Those Mexicans don't really keep jobs, man We got a lot of fucking jobs But We don't really seen to hold them

See, I've been a fucking working at a taco truck out here in L.A. It's hard out here in L.A. to keep a fucking job, man, because in L.A., man, you got to be skilled on some weird-ass shit, man. I got fired for not flipping tortillas right. And that's kind of like a fucking disrespect to my own fucking family, man, because I was raised born, I was raised doing the tortilla bit, you know? I was fucking a tortilla flipper for ages, man. When this bitch told me not to flip a tortilla, she said to go home. I said, what the fuck, bitch?

How do you not know how to flip a tortilla? See, I don't know there's a tortilla college out there that's teaching this kind of shit, man, but I want to be informed because when I flip tortillas, man, see, it's a long bit about tortillas because, see, I got my heart filled on tortillas. So there's a lot of shit, you know, a lot of compassion when it comes through tortillas, man. And I hate cats, man. There you go, low st digits with 60 seconds and a little bit of change. Stay right there, digits.

We're going to interview you now. That set was incredibly Mexican. That was so Mexican. That made Joel Jimenez look like a blonde flight attendant named Daryl. That's how Mexican that was. A lot of tortillas in that set. Yeah, man, I fucked it out. I was going to do some other shit, but I was in a feeling it.

I like it. Is that a true story? Yeah, it's a true story, man. You got fired because you wouldn't flip the tortillas? Because I didn't know how to flip a tortilla right, man. And that kind of bum me up. I mean, the right way, I guess. No, I was doing it through the three years.

No, I was doing it the right way, man. I was working at a taco truck in downtown L.A., man. And what did they tell you that you were supposed to use something? No, man. I was like, what the fuck? What's the science behind this, though? Ain't no science, man. I was fucking fast as fuck.

Is that what you, I feel like you wore that inside the taco truck, sunglasses, ball cap? Yeah, well, that's pretty much why they kicked me out too. I don't care. Fuck yeah. What's up, though, Tony? Everything's good, dude. I'm excited to have you on the show. Actually wrote, man, but I wasn't filling the biz, so I just fucking...

You know what? It's good. Sometimes you got to call audibles and whatnot. What are you sipping on there? You got a little bit of... Oh, man, that $5 beer, die. Wow, what are they selling for $5? $4.00?

Who am I getting paid for this? Wow. Five bucks, beer, man. We'll get some. Coors Light. My goodness. $5 only for a drink at the comments store. Keg originally opened in February.

No, I love it. That's incredible. They are turning $4.99 and a half cents. profit per every cup of base. It wants to my cousin up there, look at her. There he is. Joel,

have you ever met Los Deges before? You guys are both Mexican. You probably slept in the same car at some point or something. Exactly. How did you know that, Tony? Okay. There he go. Sorry, I farted.

Digits. What's your living situation during this quarantine? I mean, I'm staying alive, though. Yeah? You live by yourself? Yeah, well, right now I'm in downtown L.A., dog. But I'm flying back and forth, dog, because I'm, like, just working out there in the valley and the Coachella Valley, you know, staying out there with my brother and then coming back to downtown. That's cool. But I'm here for a couple days now, so.

What's your brother do? My brother, he's a fucking IT or some shit. He has a pretty good pat, yeah. Oh, okay. That's cool. Yeah, I'm just chilling out there. You have a girlfriend right now? Nah, man, not at the moment. Hell no.

Well, well, well. But I like that guy, though. Can I get those digits? This is Gavin. He's a gay flight attendant. Oh, he's gay? No, never mind. Uh-oh.

Gavin, what would you do to digits if you had a chance with it? I would rip open his phone book. Oh, my goodness. In Spanish, we call tromputo. Tramputo. I love that. So how about your love life? What's that been looking like, digits?

I mean, it's all right, Doug. You know, I get some here and there. You on like the dating sites or something like that? I'm on the real life shit. Real life. Yeah. What do you do when you go up to a girl? Like what's your opening pickup line?

What's up, fool? Oh, I like that. I like that. Sometimes you got to talk down to him. Let him know who's boss. Call him a fool right away. Third word. Yeah, you can't let him have that high horse fool?

Come on. Somehow you're harder to understand than Michael Lair. I love it. Can I do my improv? I think, yeah, I think you are. I'm just kidding. We already are. Can I get a suggestion?

I heard tortilla. Okay, I'll go with that. You want to hear the tortilla bit again? It's about flipping tortillas. Digits, you ever get in trouble with the police? Yeah, man, a couple times, I used to be a graffiti writer. Oh, that's right. I talked to you about this.

That's where Digits came from. Yeah? Yeah. You ever do any famous graffiti that we could see around town? You ever draw like Kobe Bryant or anything like that? No, no. never that, I don't know. But I've written on billboards, you probably see them before.

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. During the looting a few months ago, I think I saw some of your work. Yeah, I got shoes for sale too, man. Oh, what are you talking about? I love it, bro. What else about you? What else?

Do you know any magic tricks or anything like that? Do I know magic tricks? What the fuck? Yeah, do you know, do you have any special skills or talents? Yeah, actually, I used to do magic when I was a kid and shit. Yeah. Do you have a 20 on you or 100? No.

It only works with those. It only works with like a high amount of money. No change. No, I don't have anything. That's fun, dude. That's exciting. What kind of car do you have? Camry, dog.

2000 and something. Two thousand and something? I'm not a mechanic for I just look like one, dog. You don't know how to fix cars? If something happened to it, what would you do? You fucking car triple A, door? I would not expect people to think you look like a mechanic. the way you look like.

No. I mean, yeah, I guess. Hell yeah. Absolutely. You called AAA a lot? Nah, hell no, duh. My car is good. I just have it for backup.

You feel me? Yeah, absolutely. Have you modded out your car at all? Have you had it done any? I mean, nah. I added the seeds that drop lower. Oh, there we go. It's just a little engine.

You got like neon's inside your interior? Nah, man. I'm not a raver. Not a raider A raper A raver? A raver? A raver? You're a fan of the Raiders, right? The Raiders, yeah, I love the Raiders, dog.

And the Dodgers? The Dodgers, too. The Dodgers, too? They're too long. The Raiders? You like the Diaz brothers? Those are your favorite fighters? Oh, yeah. Fuck, the Diaz brothers? I fuck so. Name another sport. This is my talent.

You name a sport, I could tell you digits, favorite athlete. All right, dog. I'll give you one, dog. Golf. It's a hard one. Soccer, fool. Socer. I'm going to go with. Mexico. The whole team.

Yeah. Nailed it. It's good. This is my very few special skills and talents. If I was a guest on Kiltony. Oh, yeah. Okay. There you go.

You know, if I was on the show and somebody asked me what my special skills or talents would be, I would say that I could tell you any of digits favorite athletes. That's a pretty good talent to know because I don't know that shit either. I'm going to get your number now. I love it. Get an interview and shit, I'll let them know that you know more about me. I love it. I love it.

Do you sleep with something like a teddy bear or a special pillow? I sleep with the pit bull real time. Really? Yeah, yeah. I fucking knew something in my gut made me ask this question. You are like a, you are a caricature of a wild Los Angeles Mexican man. You sleep with a pipple. What's the pipple's name?

It's actually bud, but see, I named them bud, but now I became buddy because. He sleeps with a rapper pit bull. Because I named them bud just because you know weed you know uh-huh and then I was just like my little buddy so I just called them buddy fool Oh you brought him here? He's looking for him. That's my other time fool I can bark like a dog fool. Did bud does buddy is buddy good with other dogs so you ever take him to the dog park? No I mean he's good when he grabs him by the neck you know he's oh Jesus. I feel like this is a bad dog

Does he wear the same sunglasses that you do? No, he has his own. Don't shit, die. Come on, fool. Digits, I love you, man. You are, you are hilarious. You are a serious man. No, I'm not that serious, fool.

All right, fool. I love you, fool. I love you, too, Dad. Ladies and gentlemen, that is Digits live from Kill Tony and the Main Room of the Comedy store. Thank you, Digits. Thank you, Tidgett. Fuck yeah.

The great Los D digits. Fuck yeah, man. Everything's, uh, we, we have a lift off. We have reached, uh, our altitude. You can now take off your seat belts. Yeah. Chroma so far with the joke of the night, the long receipt joke coming out of, uh,

Michael Laird's, uh, well, what was that? That was my belt. Oh. Jesus. Why'd that come off? Oh, your seat. belt. I got it. Got it. Figured it out. Okay, pulled another name out of the bucket. Ladies and gentlemen, this is this guy's first time on the show. I found him. I discovered him in

David Luke, one of David Lucas's videos. He is here tonight to make his Kill Tony debut, 60 seconds, and an interview from Jason Rodello, everybody. He's. Here we go. Yeah, yeah. One to. So high. Flight, flight, fly, fly, fly. Way up in the sky.

Yeah. Oh, boy. Baby, put your arms around me, baby. Gagoo-d-a-boot. There really is a 20-second delay. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, the kill-tony debut of Jason Rodello. Oh, I'm still alive.

Riots, pandemics, Will Smith marriage problems. These are the issues that I will not be discussing, but instead I'll tell you about my amazing wife. I know it's hard to believe I'm married, but I look like someone who just makes shitty TikToks for living or only masturbates to Ed Sheeran music playing, but I'm the marriage guy.

I met my wife in Kazakhstan, and Kazakh people are beautiful, man. They look Asian, but speak Russian. So they're the holy grail of wet dreams for Red Band. Am I right? Come on! Because Brian loves Asians. Juicy Asians, big tits bouncing, oriental, anal, fart fucking. Five and a half inch, deep throat. Asian mom teaches daughter how to The cat. All right.

There's Jason Rodello, everybody. Can I just say real quick that that sounds like a nightmare, an Asian that speaks Russian, something beautiful. One of the most horrible accents in the world. The Russians? You don't like a Russian accent? Not on a woman. That just makes any woman. You like him on a man?

Oh, yeah. It's okay. A man seems like it fits, you know? Like I seem like a dangerous man, you know, like James Bond. spy, but on a woman. We finally found what kind of dude red band's into. I will break you. Red band, what about?

Red band, Chrome of Chris said, what about a Russian woman with an Asian accent? Now that I could get into. I love it, I love it. So Jason Rodello, first time on the show. You are the first person in the history of the show that was born without a forehead. Not a lot of people know that. Oh, there it is. Okay, there it is. There's one back there. I like your

style, dude. My lady gave me that note, too. For a second, I thought you had a bicycle helmet on, but now you moved it back. I see there's a little something there. So, well, yep. I like his hair. It looks just like mine. Appreciate you, Crowell.

You demand. Was that it? You just like, oh, you have the same hair. Two for two. Two. Two. I see it now. Mushroom hair.

It's more for the visual watchers instead of, listeners. Yeah, I had no idea. I literally turned around like, what the fuck? And then I saw it. Jason, fuck yeah. How old are you dude? 25. Heck yeah. Some of that youth, this is the future. So let's go back. Let's ask a question from earlier. Michael Lair brought up this generation. Are they eating ass? Are you eating ass and have you had your ass eaten? Absolutely. But the ass eating part or my ass being eaten, no, not yet. Right. It's covered in hair. I'm sure it's covered in hair. I see what you're

forehead looks like. I can't imagine what your... A little bit. Butthead looks like. There you go. You know what that sound means. It's covered in hair. But you eat ass, huh?

Occasionally, yeah. When I'm in the mood. It has to be a spicy night. What do you mean by spicy night? You know, honestly, I would consider tonight a spicy night, to be honest. Like to celebrate. Yeah, exactly.

Special occasion, you know. Like, in our days, eating ass was never even on the table. We didn't even know about it. No, not on the table. It wasn't even an option. That was considered a bad decision. Nowadays, it's like the most exciting thing you can do. It's like proposing to the girl, basically.

It's like, I will eat your ass. And when they clench up on your tongue, it feels so good. When Red Band does it, it literally makes me want to vomit. I'm going to eat that workshop, Red Band. Let me know, let me know. I love it. Can you show us what your face looks like when you're eating ass? Oh, wow, okay.

All right, that's pretty good. You got that? I think Michael, yeah. He knows. Michael knows. That's great. I like it. I like it. So, Jason, you're 25.

You born and raised here in Los Angeles? Yes, sir. Currently residing in Studio City. But, yeah, I grew up in the Valley area, now in Studio City. Yep, Studio City. And you'll lead that Studio shitty. Oh. What do you do for work?

For work. I'm a professional dancer slash choreographer. Get the fuck out of here. Are you serious? Yeah. Can we get a little sam? I mean a little, sir. Wow.

Wow. Oh, wow. God damn, that is incredible. How long have you been doing that for? Since the age of 13. Wow. Yeah. Me too.

Yeah, can we see some of your dance moves? I mean, Jeremiah, we can do this, bro. Let's see some of you. Oh, dang. This is a moment we locked eyes. You caught me by surprise. I love for your woman race. The caress of your face.

We just words. I thank God he puts you leave. It's a food for my dear. And never know. What do you do to disave you? I need you Yeah And thing that you do

And I I need you to Without you Yeah I love it Came all over my pants This is the best day of my life That is

That is exciting Gavin dancing to the song I need you from Jeremiah Watkins You can check it out on his YouTube page It's a great great song debut this week, number 2,0.45 on the Billboard charts.

I will say this. I will say this, is that that song might be one of the catchiest goddamn songs of all times. I can't stop singing you in my head. And I always have to make the face that you make when you say the eye word. There's this face that you make where you go, I like when he goes, look in my eyes.

He goes, yeah. No, yeah. He makes the same face that he did in his Black Lives Matter video that he made. He gets serious. Jeremiah can be one of the silliest people in the world, and he can get serious like a motherfucker.

Whoa, whoa, oh. That will never not break me right in my fucking back. Oh, my meter's up. Oh, no, no. Shit. He actually is. is putting money in the sky right now. Where are you going?

Oh my God. He parachutes are going to jump. He literally does have to put money in his meter. A fun fact for you listeners. We should talk about that because before the show started, he goes, it's a two-hour meter. And he goes, and we're all in the room scattered around at the part of the show where we're eating pizza all six feet away from each other. Thanks to our great friend Charlie from Vito's pizza. He brings pizza every single week.

Multiple pizzas of different kinds. We're all addicted to Pete, so everybody knows that. Anyway, and at one point, while we're all just sort of, you know, getting ready, but, you know, mentally preparing, Jeremiah goes, Tony. And I go, yes, Jeremiah. And he goes, my meter's up at about 8.50. What should I do? And I'm literally like, what the fuck?

Put money in your... Like, have any one of the 70 people. people here put money in a leader at eight like five minutes before we started the show just put two quarters in yeah or two hours worth we're really just any amount of money really just put to us really do anything I like that we're talking about this right now while he's walking through the audience and everybody's looking at him like what the fuck's wrong with yeah he's probably stopped and watching this right now being projected on the back wall of the comedy store he's like who are these guys okay all right uh I love

Love it. So Jason, you're on this show for your first time. What's something else that we'd be interested to know about you? A fun fact about Jason Rodello that would surprise us. Your dancing has me very surprised. On the spot, man. How did you learn how to do that? How does that come up in your life? Yeah, so initially I started dancing from a Chris Brown music video that inspired me from the beginning. It was like a dancing vampire called wall to wall. Yeah, wall to wall. And then, yeah, from there, just I saw the reaction and got for my friend. and it was just a feeling I couldn't escape. Similar to, you know, anyone doing comedy or just anything they enjoy doing. Yeah, that's super cool.

You blow people's minds like at like weddings and big events and shit? Absolutely. Oh, even bigger, man. I do teach classes across the world, the whole international thing. That's how I met my wife. I mean, I can get into it if I need to again.

That is so cool. That's all the whole thing happened, right? And your wife took a dance class from you? Yeah, she owned a studio from the area that I met her in the different country. That's awesome. Redband, I think you were. would like Kazakh people.

That accent, man. That's the only thing that drives me crazy. I was really banking off that joke, man. I thought I knew my stuff. Look at any beautiful Russian model, the most beautiful woman in the world. And the second she opens her mouth, they're like, it's horrible.

We get it. There you go. Red Band only likes Russian dudes and Russian salad dressing. Those are the only two types of Russian. I don't mind a good Russian. Russians, what? That's basically a thousand island. Yeah, yeah.

You know what's weird? French. salad dressing. No one's into French. It's like ketchup. No, it's not. What is it? It's not like ketchup.

I don't like it. I don't know what flavor it actually is, though. What is the flavor French? No, it's not. It's not ketchup and mayo, Gino. It's kind of like sweet and sour

chicken, but something's missing from it. It's closer to that. David, do you know the answer to this? Yeah, I had a feeling. He's getting closer to sweet mustard than anything else. Jason, how do you know David Lucas? I saw you in a couple of his videos. And this is how the universe...

I know it wasn't from a dance class. Absolutely not, no. It was... I saw him... Well, I got into this show during the quarantine, surprisingly. And I just fell in love with it immediately. We watched every episode, like from the get-go. I can't believe we made a fan during the quarantine.

During the quarantine, fresh off the queue. And then one day... Can you help us get back the 30s? thousand fans we lost during the point oh yeah i can't man just kidding go ahead so french dressing is a creamy ketchup based dressing get the fuck out yeah i had no idea it's right uh it's made of oil vinegar ketchup and sugar ketchup is in that wow that is weird fuck french dressing i mean i only i only really remember french dressing from like old-timey salad bars like that would be the one that i picked long ago i'm talking about ponderosa

Remember Ponderosa? You might know Ponderosa. They have those in Kansas? No, I think it's an Ohio thing. Wow. Hey, French dressing and fries might be good. Mm, yeah. All right.

So, yeah, I met David in Studio City. No, yeah. At my apartment, he was just randomly in my hallway. Oh. And I stopped him. But you know what? I knew how to not keep it like creepy. I was just like, David Lucas.

Oh, it's Kiltony. I'm a fan. Hey, I'll catch you around. That's so cool. So you actually recognized him from Kill Tony. Oh, well, there you go. Literally. Fuck you.

All right, Jason, it was nice to meet you. Thanks so much for coming on. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen. Jason Rodello, everybody. There he goes. Put your arms around me, baby. Put your arms around me, baby.

I just want to fly. Yeah. All right. Two bucket pools. That means we are ready for another regular. ladies and gentlemen it is that magical magical time of the show where we get to see one of our favorite joke writers one of the literally probably the I mean definitely the greatest roasting regular in the history of the show one of my favorite people are just

a great comedian a great guy ladies and gentlemen here he is David motherfucking Lucas, live in the flesh at the comedy store. Here he is. The real deal. David Lucas. The most scariest thing about the coronavirus was not getting pneumonia. The scariest thing for me was losing my sense of taste and smell. Like, you mean to tell me I can fry chicken and not smell a motherfucking thing?

Then put my goddamn ass back on. But I don't hate mask. Like, who knew that mask would make women look so goddamn good? Like, as soon as you cover up her mouth and her nose, that bitch is attractive as fuck. Like, I think we need to keep masks for another 10 years. I might fuck around and get married. This bitch can't say shit. She can't even breathe that good.

Oh, no, coronavirus is scary as fuck. I ain't really scared. I want to get coronavirus just to lose weight. You know what I'm saying? Because I heard motherfuckers losing like 20 or 30 pounds. I'm like, maybe I need to get coronavirus for like six weeks. That's my new diet plan and shit. Oh, there we go.

Fuck yeah, David Lucas. Absolutely. That shit went fast as hell with no audience. I timed it out. It was a minute and 15. And then I come here. That shit was 45 seconds. Happens quick sometimes.

You never know when it's going to go down. I like the sad, fun stuff. All about the corona. I believe it. I don't think you would, I don't think you'd really. I don't think you're one of the guys that would lose your taste and smell. Let's check in with Sandra here because Sandy is fresh off of actually having the coronavirus. And from what I understand, you just lost your sense of smell.

Just my sense of smell. That's it. Sometimes I would remember smells and I wasn't sure if I was smelling it or just remembering. Wow, that's weird. You said you didn't lose taste, but when you can't. smell anything. You can't taste anything, so I'm so confused about that. But I could. Right? Yeah. Yeah,

it's like, you know. It makes no sense at all. It makes no sense. And yeah, I still can't really smell. Really? Yeah. Wow. So you might be musty. I can breathe. You can breathe. Do you know how

you got it? You can't smell. Because it seems like you didn't get it from any of us because all of us don't have corona. Yeah, because none of us had it. All of us could be. Welcome to another episode of Dr. Redband, everybody. When Red Band found out I got it, his first words were, You're a dirty girl. I think I said something else.

I don't think I said girl. Dirty whore. Dirty whore, I think is what I said. Wow. He knows it if you're not feeling good, Dr. Redband. Well, we know that you didn't get it from any of us. Dr. Redband. So wow, this is interesting.

On a very ass-eating heavy episode of Kill Tony, it got started with Michael Lair, I think we're finding out that now with no sense of smell, perhaps Sandy, the flight attendant, is now into eating ass. Wow. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Gobble, gobble.

Everybody knows that. Turkey's an ass eaters. That's the noise that they make. Have you ate an ass before? No, but if I lose my taste, I might go in there. Tony eat ass with a knife and a fork Oh, come on David With a napkin in his shirt and all that type of shit

I've got table manners when he eating ass Dude Can I say I'm a gentleman Let's hear it Bob Go ahead Gavin Oh no when I went to go refill my meter on the way out David kind of shouted at me

He goes hey inward film my meter too And I just want to let the audience know I became fully erect Wow You really you really had to put money in your meter Yeah, because we and that nigga parked at the same time. So I was like, hey, bro, you take your ass out there. I'm about to go next, put my shit in that, too.

Damn. Yeah. Look at that. What do you, do you ever put any of your, the chocolate coins that you keep on you at all times in the meter? Hey, man, get your ass up out of here, bro. I know, I know. They melt. You can't put those in the meter.

You got to pay a dildo meter, nigga for that shit to turn on, man. A dildo meter? Yeah, you got to put a... I mean, that's a real reach. You got to put a cord in your bed, Nick. In the middle of it, just moving. and a dildo pop up. All right, I'll ask you.

Well, actually, yeah, that's actually true. That motherfucker, Tony got to be chained up to go to sleep. I just see. What's your, what's your sleeping situation? You sleep in a food truck

or something like that? Get the fuck up out of here, bro. You sleep in a sleeping bag naked, niggins. Sounds good, actually. Yeah, I mean, that's actually really cozy. That motherfucker Tony sleep next to a boa constrictor.

That's actually true. I have a boa constrictor. a buddy. Buddy of the boa. At one point, I just named him Bud. You look like you were named a snake Enter. Okay. All right.

Not all of us. No audience here. God damn, this shit is fuck. I don't even want to roast anymore. Not all of us are lucky enough. I mean, you know. Do you have any pets? Hell no.

Kids. I mean, a kid. Oh, yeah. You have one of those pet kids. I got an STD a kid, dang of this. Damn. Damn.

Why no pets stuff? Did you just have a new kid? kid recently? I heard a rumor that you had a new baby. A rumor? With a white chick. Who told you all about that? The chick Someone said, I can't even remember. I did. I'm a gonsper up in the sky. I'm a

godsepar up in the sky. I'm a fifth. Wow. You just, damn. You said, why no pet red band? Because I ain't got time to take care of shit. Another mouth to feed, hell no. Right. Especially with your mouth to feed. That's a lot. Dildo.

Deal dough. All right. So what else is going on, David Lucas? Shit, ain't shit changed since last week? What were you doing in that hallway when you met Jason Rodello? I was at my brother's house. That motherfucker leave out a lot of shit. My brother live in the same building he lived in.

Oh, okay. So I went over to his house, you know, check on him and shit. How many brothers do you have? Just one. He lives in Studio City? He lives right up street for me. He's an entrepreneur. Oh, shit.

Damn. So he sells CDs at Hollywood and Highland? Shit, that motherfucker can pay more rent than me, bro. He's selling something. Damn. You don't know exactly what he does? He just tells you. T-shirts.

He got a T-shirt business. Vintage T-shirts. Oh, all right. Come with an April? Something like that, yeah. But he's, he, uh, so what he really does, like, he goes to, um, like, you know, we got a hell of place in L.A. That sell, like, second-hand clothes.

Mm-hmm. So he'll go get him, like, take him to the dry cleaners and sell them bitchs online for, like, $150. Damn. Yeah. And he buys them for, like, $20. bucks. Damn.

Because everybody doesn't have access to that across the United States, but in L.A., we got a whole bunch of rich motherfuckers who, when shit go out of style, they turn it right in, and then you can sell it online. It's a profitable business. Hell yeah. Your brother's flipping clothes like digits flips tortillas. Oh, yeah. And what's that?

What are you wearing? What is that tie-dye? Oh, this is Farrell's brand. Oh. Yeah, this is Farrell's brand. Okay. How much does something like that run? Like 85, 90.

Even for your size? Yeah. It's not more? For your size it'll be free, you anorexic motherfucker. Fucking fucking Wi-Fi cable built, motherfucker. That is that that shirt is actually the sleeping bag that I sleep naked in.

Hell, no, you won't. I don't know what kind of sleeping bag you won't. I love it. So nothing's changed since last week, except for you may or may not have had a new child. I ain't had no new child last week. I can guarantee that. I mean, if I, damn, that, no, no.

Wow. I feel like that's a true rumor how he's acting, don't you think? It might be. I don't know. This is, this is weird. This is the, one of the more suspicious moments in the history of David Lucas being on. Why y'all got to put all the pressure on the black man? Y'all don't do none of the white guys or the white comedians.

Like, why y'all don't assume William got a kid? Because they come out like puddles. They can't form. And you know, Michael ain't got no fuck. Well, he got an old ass kid. but he ain't having no kids right now. He's not doing new kids at all. Hell yeah.

He got to bump cooties with a bitch to get her pregnant. Michael does? Yeah. Why would he have to, he doesn't have a vagina? Because he got AOLS, so he got to, I mean, if his body's paralyzed, I imagine. Oh, it works down there. Oh, shit. God damn, goddamn, God damn.

He gets to board the flight first, obviously. First class, first ass. Wow. Look at that. That's hell of funny, Nick. First class. I've never been on the airplane with a motherfucker in a wheelchair. That's crazy, though, and I fly a lot.

I've been on the airplane with a midget, but never... You had sex with a midget? No, nigger. You ain't listening. I said, I've never been on an airplane with a wheelchair, but I've been on a plane with a midget. I've been on a plane with a midget before as well. Were you with me on that?

Is that that that one? I know I must have told you about it, but... You tell me anecdotes, and I just listen and, you know... Anyway, there's a... There is a comedian who is a midget. And one time we were on the same flight, and he was actually one row ahead of me, which, you know, street cred is you always want to be in front of people.

Right. And I remember he goes, hey, Tony. And he was in the row in front of me and across the aisle. And I remember being like, fuck, I can't believe he has a better seat than me, right? And then right as I was really like a minute after I was jealous of his better seat, he stood up on the chair and adjusted the air vent like he was changing a light bulb. And then I was like, you know what? I'm not jealous anymore.

Hell no, bro. Midge is actually giving me anxiety, though. I will never forget that moment. And you have not held in a laugh in your life until you see a midget turning off the air vent, standing up on a chair. They would have put me off the plate out of their laugh for so hard. Oh, I know. I almost had to throw up in one of those barf bags. It was incredible.

Do you ever notice that midget women always have fat asses, bro? Dude, they are natural pogs. Would you hit one? No. I mean... It'd be the best fleshlight ever. If I was, like, in the desert, like, by myself... If I was in the desert by myself, like, three hours into a mushroom trip

and, like, a hot midget appeared out of nowhere. I don't know. I might do something. You don't think that would be hot. Just like, well, I guess not. What would you do? What would you, what would be your? Red Band would feed that bitch first.

Right when I thought about it, I, it just heard like that. Wait, what? You think midgets? When I wake up in the morning. Do you think midgets are like kids? Well, I mean, that's what I was thinking. Like, I was imagining her, like, riding me. But then it would be like, oh, it'd be like a little kid.

I don't know. Oh, my God. Just disgusted. I know. I think that as much as it seems hot, It wouldn't be hot. Somehow Red Band made having sex with a midget even more gross than it already was.

Red band on his crystal lea shit with that pink microphone trying to attract kids and shit. Oh, come on. My pink and purple microphone? I thought you used to Fisher-Pricer shit right now. You got a purple and pink shirt on. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Bro, you got two dolphins kissing on a hat, like.

Yeah. Yeah, I used to be able to wear this hat until somebody released a comedy special. Okay. What? Johnny Peppie. I love it with Tony like, okay, we got to wrap this shit up. I love it.

Absolutely, we do. You are turning more and more into a big bundle of cotton candy every second that you stand there. Getting stronger, too, bro. I love it. You've been working out? Yep. What are you been doing? Lifting food up to your mouth?

Nope. All right. All right, David. So much fun. Good to have you out again. David Lucas, everybody. On to the next one we go. Why, because I got a, because I got a, because I got a.

All right, your next comedian, this is also his first time on this show. Ladies and gentlemen, this young man I met a few days ago here at the comedy store. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for him. It's Mousha, everyone. Moushah. Here we go. Malsh. Ladies and gentlemen. Hey, you. Mousha. Moushah. Step back from that ledge, step back from that ledge, my friend. Step back from that ledge, my friend. Step back my very hand. All right, here he is, Moush.

It's moha. Moha. So the other day I was walking around in my neighborhood in Hollywood and I was walking by this alley and I heard some noises and I went in there just to check it out. And I see the this buff-ass prison rat fucking a raccoon. So I'm like, what the, so I get closer, right? And he's just, p-r-naling this raccoon puts it to the wall, smashing it. I get even closer, and I noticed the raccoon is dead. He's fucking a dead raccoon. So I get even closer than I get a seat right next to it.

He don't give two fucks. This rat is just smashing the shit out of this raccoon. Eventually, he finishes. He pulls his dick out, walks away, and he looks at me like he's about to smack me. He just got out of prison, buff-ass rat. And I thought about it. I was like, wow, if you balls deep in some good pussy, don't worry about who's watching.

And the second thing I thought about was, I might fuck some raccoon pussy after that. Thanks, guys. What the fuck? Moha. All right, moha. So you saw some guy doing what? I saw a buffass rat fucking raccoon.

You saw a buff ass rat having sex with a raccoon. Dead raccoon. A dead raccoon. Is this a true story? No. Why did you make this wild tail up? This is like a horrible pitch for a Pixar movie. It's an episode of the boondocks. It didn't make it.

This is one of my first jokes I ever wrote, and I didn't even know how I came up with a It was like in March when I started riding. And in his defense, he usually has a stool to hump. He usually what? Repeat that again for us. He usually has a stool to hump and he's doing the joke about the rat, fucking the dead raccoon. Is that true? Do you normally do an act out if you're on the stage?

I mean, I'm new. This is actually the second time I've ever been doing open mic. Oh, okay. Well, welcome. Second time ever performing. Where was the first open? Mike. We drove down to San Diego, and I did my first open mic in San Diego a couple of weeks ago. Oh, okay. And how many people were in the room in San Diego?

By the time I performed, I was last, it was six people out of 30 left. Wow, that's interesting. So tell us more about you, Moha. Where are you from? So I'm African. Really? Yeah, but thank you. Thank you. What kind of African are you? There you go. I'm East African, Somalian. Oh, Somalian. But I was raised most of my life in Sweden, Stockholm. I'll call you captain anytime you won't.

Yeah, you know who's the captain. He's the captain now. All right. So you're from Somalia. All right. What was your child? How long have you been in America? I've been here about 12 years now.

12 years. Okay. You came with your whole family or just you? Yeah, just me. I like America better, so I moved to visit my aunt in Seattle. Uh-huh. Wait, what about Seattle? I moved to Seattle.

Okay, why Seattle? What made you pick there? My family was there. Your family was in Seattle? Yes, my aunt's. Oh, your aunts, okay. And what do your parents do for a living? My mom doesn't work.

She lives in London, and my dad lives in Stockholm. He's a bus driver. Stockholm, Sweden? Yes. Oh, okay. No syndrome. That's not a place. Stockholm Syndrome's not a place.

It's a thing, bro. Yeah, what he said. Now, hump the stool. Are you a flight attendant or a flight attendant, you catty, bitch? What are you doing? Joe, Dad, Daryl, stop. Okay. So, why is your mom live in London if your dad lives in Stockholm?

They separated. She got a husband. Oh. Oh, wow. So how did they end up separating? Did they separate and then she had a husband, or did she cheat on your bus driving father? No, they separate first.

Okay. This is my stop. How old were you when that happened? I was about maybe 10. Maybe 10 years old. And okay. How did that affect, how did that make you feel when your parents said they were separating? It didn't feel that weird.

It was normal. Okay. All right. Okay. That's fun. So you lived with your aunts in Seattle. Your aunt Tifa

and your aunt E-bodies. That's correct. These are quarantine jokes, everybody. Aunt Tifa and aunt E-bodies. We wouldn't even tell those jokes on Southwest Airlines. Buckle up. Oh my goodness.

Samoa, how's your love life been since you've been here as an American? being great, except I'm single right now. You're single right now. But you still, you're still getting laid, hooking up with white women? I hook up with any woman that looks good,

especially if she got a fat ass. Wow, that's what you're into. Yeah, I'm black, after all. You are black, right? A lot of white people are into fat asses nowadays, too, though. That is, it's like rap music. It used to be just black people. We're into it.

Now everybody's into it. Yeah. Wiger's been thick as fuck lately. Yes, white girls figured it out. Back in the day, the only way for a white girl to have a fat ass was by eating a lot. But now they've realized there's one exercise called squatting that in which you can actually grow an ass. They can get it done. Yeah, implants.

So cheap, Mexico. It's like two cheeks for like $500 or something. Talk to Redmond. It's like a two for 500 bucks. Wow. Is that true, Red Bean? Have you looked into a... Did you get some?

Is that where you got yours from? But I had this idea to make a pillow out of implants, like a boob, like a boob pillow. And I was going to buy the implants, and I found that you could buy them from Mexico pretty cheap. How many McDonald's is that? That is literally like 1,000 McDonald's. Yeah, it's 1,000. My goodness. What do you like to...

What's some of your favorite American cuisine? You're from Somalia. They are usually very hungry over there, so... You must have quite the appetite. What do you like here in America? What do you like to eat other than thick white girl's asses? Chicken, fried chicken. Oh, wow.

I like waffles. Shocking. Steak. Chicken, waffles, steak? Everything except for pork. Oh, on for me. No pork. Why don't you like pork?

Why no pork? I'm Muslim. Oh, you are. Okay. Heck yeah. My sound board has like every single one of them. about him. Do you have a Muslim sound effect?

Yeah, let's hear it. Where is it? Okay. Okay. All right, that's enough. That's very long. Please blur my face on this part of the episode. All right.

So do you, is there, you have like a Muslim church that you go to? What are those called again? Musks. Yes. I don't have one, but I should find one. Okay. All right.

You ever take any flight classes or anything like that? No. Okay. All right. If you had to kill one race of people, what would your race be? Which ones would you pick? America is an option. Just the shitty racist Donald Trump, motherfuckers.

Wow. Look at that. That's very interesting. You would just pick one human and you chose the president of the United States of America. I know all the racist people. All the racist people. Okay. That's cool.

Have you met a racist since being here in America? I think I met a lot of them. They just don't have the balls to say something to my face. They don't have the balls to say something to your face? Yeah, which is weird, right? Yeah, that is weird. Here's your moment, Tony. What?

What? I said, here's your moment. He said he's never met a racist face of face. I said, here's your moment, Tony. He knows what's going on. This guy's built like a fucking microphone over here. He's built like Bob Barker. Marker's microphone, just thin and very thin and very black.

Microphone head? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So no one's ever been racist to you in America, but the people that you would pick first to kill are the racist. You've never had anyone be racist to you face-to-face 12 years here in America. That's pretty good odds. Yeah, I mean, living in a big city might help.

Seattle's diverse, L.A. Living in a, yeah, living in a big city helps, but that also means that you're around more people that could. be racist. It almost seems like a lot of the racist people live away from the big city where they wouldn't have to be around other races. I guess I'm lucky. Yeah, maybe you're lucky or maybe, maybe, just maybe, maybe racism is an overexposed storyline in the modern media. Who knows? Thank you, too.

Oh, you're welcome, Mr. President. It is always a pleasure. Anyway, Mosha, you have any special skills or talents? We had a guy earlier, do a magic trick. We had a guy earlier do some dance moves. Is there anything you have, any talents you have that would surprise us? I'm a basketball player. I play basketball. Can we get this guy a basketball?

Does anybody have a basketball in their car? It's literally one of the top most dangerous sports right now. Oh. It's moha, Tony. Moja. Moha. Yeah. Okay.

Moha. Okay. So basketball, what else? Anything else? What else can you do? You know any poetry or anything like that? No. I was an athlete. I'm a big sports fan. Okay. One of my favorite movies is one of your favorite movies, Goodfellas. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, Tony likes Bigfellas.

Yeah, I like Goodfellas. I like Bad Fellas. As long as they have a penis and a ball sack on end of them because I'm a gay man. As long as a fellow to be a gay man. That was all right. I will run with this storyline forever. I am a gay dude, good fellas, and all types of fellas. Okay, what's your favorite scene from Goodfellas? Let's reenact it together because I know every line of that movie, so we can do it.

Am I funny to you? That's the scene, the worst fucking scene in the whole movie. All right. I like that scene. No one actually likes that scene. That's the scene that people that haven't actually seen the movie. My favorite scene when he's freaking out, driving at the end with the helicopters, and he's looking up while he's driving.

Yeah. Okay. Moha, fun times. Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming on the show. Congratulations. His second time ever performing stand-up comedies here on Kill Tony. That's Moha.

What? Where did you find that guy? I met him here. I met him out back at the Comedy Story City. He wants to be able to do Kill Tony when he can. And I had to pre-select a few healthy people that would test properly through the rigorous testing system they have set up here

where they take your temperature one time and cross their fingers afterwards. Or crush their fingers, as Michael Lehrer would say. I could pull it out of the bucket just to make it fancy, but I know who's left because he's the only other submission. This was a very funny man recommended by Michael Laird himself. Ladies and gentlemen, Elliot Mack, everybody. Here we go.

Here he is, Elliot Mack. So I have gay dads. Yeah, which you applaud in 2020. Thank you. Fuck, the rest of you make it sound like they just kidnapped me from a nuclear family when I was eight and showed me L in 10 hours a day until I turned out like this. Which is exactly what happened, but it doesn't mean I don't deserve applause for it. No, it was cool growing up with gay dads.

Like, every morning they just put me on the gay agenda. It was just brunch, mimosas, brunch again, tap dancing lessons, eat a salad, go to bed, listen to Wicked. That shit was bomb. The best part was definitely whenever it was family game night, and I got to choose, like, the vote on what to do. And it was my two straight brothers, my two gay dads and me. So I would just be like, all right, should we get cudd? Cubs tickets, or should we see Wicked for the fifth time? Cubs tickets, Cubs tickets, Wicked, Wicked, Wicked,

oh my God! I know about popular. But then I'd get hit with a belt for singing off key, so it evened out to a regular childhood. Hell yeah. I love it. So good to finally have someone a little bit less gay than me on this show. Very exciting stuff.

Nice to meet you, Ellie. This is your first time on the show, correct? First time. How long you've been doing comedy for? I've been doing comedy 11 years now. Awesome. All of it here in Los Angeles? No, I grew up in Chicago, actually, and I started taking comedy classes at Second City when I was 12. After seeing Michael perform with 80 Bryant, he did this one hilarious blackout. They were wearing sombreros.

It was incredible. And I was like, that's what I want to do. Wow, that is so cool. So you actually saw Michael Lair when you were 12 years old. How old are you now? I'm 23. 23. That is fucking awesome. You saw Michael Lair when you were 12 and you said, I want to do comedy and now you've been doing it. He was fucking hilarious. Yes. It's been an amazing ride.

Oh, he's something else. He's unbelievable. Yeah. I think we finally found out who's putting the gold bond powder on Michael Lair's balls right here. No doubt indeed. I love it. That is so awesome. So how long have you lived in Los Angeles for? I was here for about six months and then I went home to be with family for quarantine and then I did you know like the mint open mic do you remember that? No.

It was happening for a bit. It was this really cool open mic where you would open the door and like weed smoke would billow into your face and I did an online like Zoom mic and I got to see like all the other LA comics and I'd been thinking about not coming back to LA and I was like I need to be with this like this is it

so I came back I've been moving for the last month it shouldn't have taken me so long to move but I also had to decorate so like that Oh, that's hilarious. Oh, that's so funny. So you're a gay man. You live in West Hollywood? I did, but I hated all of the other people there.

Yeah, it is a little bit wild, right? I'm going to share something with you guys. I saw two gay guys holding hands today. Ew. And I literally thought to myself, that is, like, the gayest thing that two gay guys could do. Oh, right? Like, nowadays, like 10, 20 years ago, you'd be like, if you saw two guys making out, you'd be like, whoa, that's gay, right?

And then, like, you know, since then there's like butt fucking, I think is the most gay thing two guys can do. But then it hit me today. In 90 degree heat, in the middle of the day in Los Angeles, you don't see any men and women holding hands. Like, to hold hands, you have to literally be like, I don't mind making a puddle of sweat with our hands. We had to fight for that. We're going to do it, God damn. It is. It's a hot day.

That is incredible. And would you agree that that's an extremely gay thing? Oh, 100%. I was with this guy the other day, actually, and I guess there's like a connection between us or something because we can't hold hands or he'll get a boner. He'll get a boner? Well, like, it's kind of like if he gets a boner,

it's like a yawn. You know how that like spreads around? Totally. Hey, Gavin. So if you hold hands, he gets a boner. And then if he gets a boner, you get a boner. Exactly. And then if some other gay guys sees you two guys with boners.

He's like, oh no. He can tell, it's up to like a mile away. The gaitar has a very long radius. Absolutely. You're telling me. I'm like a Doppler gator over here. I see it all. I have a tri-county gaitar. Boners spread like coronavirus in the gay community.

That's right. We call it the baronavirus. Yeah. The old fucking... That would be so weird if straight friends could hold hands. Like if we went to go get some food together, we were holding hands. What says he can't? Yeah.

I'm a rude fan. Just imagine holding Jeremiah's hand. I don't like holding anybody's hand. I just, I've never been a hand holder. Let's just try it out to see what it feels like. No, absolutely not. Yeah, let's start now of all times. Absolutely not, Red Band.

I didn't like touching you pre-coronavirus. Not to mention right now. Come on. Look at that, fuck. Oh, look at this softest hands in the business. Look at that big, strong hand. Look at that, just shaking from fucking caffeine and nicotine, just vibrating with high High blood pressure vibrations.

Tell him to wipe off the kettle. I thought you said holding hands. Red band loves holding hands. Wow. Oh, Jesus. Look at that. Okay. So, Elliot, how long have you been with this boyfriend of yours?

It's kind of been like one of those things where just like whenever we're in the same city, it goes down. So like three times over the last three years. But now he's in Orange County and I'm in L.A. So it's like a little bit easier. Yeah, I would love to tell you that he's my Ellen or something and we're going to have two kids and two dogs, but... Probably not. Yeah.

Okay. How'd you meet him? Originally Tinder, and then he and this other guy, like, we went to a bow, and they, like, fought over me, and I was like, no, stop. I hate this. And are they, like, tops or bottoms? How does that work? Is that a thing?

Is that a weird question? I'm not saying another word without my lawyer present. Uh-oh. I love that. I love it. So is that how Tinder works? Do they have it separated in tops and bottoms or anything like that? You know.

Oh, that's right. No, I just have to pretend. Yeah, I look at he's playing dumb. I'm deep in the closet, so I have to pretend like I don't know these things. I messaged you and you never replied. What happened? Yeah. No, yeah, I haven't checked my.

Do they call it an inbox or a butthole? Nothing. Okay. All right. Man, this is my episode tonight. I'm just what they would call on fire. Somebody get the Gringo Bandito hot sauce because it's a spicy one tonight. Oh, kill Tony.

Come on now. All right. Elliot, any special skills or talents or anything like that other than being a comedy veteran started at what 13 years old that is fucking awesome man that is so cool that's Chappelle Eddie Murphy all those guys thank you yeah I was going to learn

to play the ukulele for this but I was like oh wow how about anything else we had a guy earlier that could dance we had a guy earlier do an unbelievable magic trick he laughed a piece of plastic out of his hand

really impressive I can do pottery, but like... You know what? Somebody bring... Can we get a pottery wheel in here? A couple kilns. Yeah.

Kilns. Kiln Tony. Welcome to another episode of... Kieln. Oh, that got a laugh. There you go. Looks like... It was punny.

That's the moment I'll think of before I fall asleep tonight was Kieln Tony, the big laugh that I got. Right. Just as I'm crying and sweating myself to sleep. I love it. Elliot, let me ask you this before I let you go. Have you ever been with a woman or anything like that?

Only while I was sucking her boyfriend's dick. Is that true? A hundred percent. So you guys had like a threesome? Yeah, it was actually, it was when I was in high school, and he was our quarterback, and we had all been, like, drunk bowling that night, and people were, like, going off, and then they were like, oh, Elliot, like, you have a hot tub, right? And I was like, yeah.

And we went back to my hot tub, and, like, he looked at his girlfriend, and his girlfriend looked at me, and then they both started changing, like, glances, and I was like, no. Damn. And then she was like, so Elliot, what happens in the turnt tub stays in the turnt tub, right? Wow. And then you bent over and he put his hands under your butt and went,

hut, hut. So close, actually. He put his hands in like the two finger of my elastic. Gay quarterback jokes. Exactly. And he pulled me into his lap and kissed me. And then immediately like clockwork, I just like grabbed her face and was like,

out of my way. This is my moment. Oh, shit. Yeah. Sucked his dick. Everything that you do, the fire in your eyes. And I have a big secret. Oh yeah?

It was Gavin. Oh! In the one place, because I have a face. Will you marry me? Grang around your finger. Do you have to let it linger? I want to marry you. We just work.

Put my finger in your butt. You are my lovely cut. Elliot. Well, awesome, man. I'm so glad that you came down. Come back any time you want. And by comeback, I mean, after you go to Orange County and visit your boyfriend.

You know what I mean? Come back. All right. Thank you so much. Elliot Mac, everybody. There he goes. Elliot Mac. Ladies and gentlemen.

William. William, get away, man. All right. There's only one person left to perform tonight. We're so excited about it. His stock is crashing through the floor. I mean, this guy was once beloved on this show. He at one point was

the only regular on this show. And then once he started to fade out a bit, I brought in David Lucas so that he would get his shit together and write harder and work harder. And then a few months after that, he started a crash again. We brought in Michael Lair, who absolutely started stealing episode after episode after episode. He upped his game yet again. And now he's crashing yet again,

disappointing people from the management to the band, to the host of the show, to the other regulars, and now he's here to perform for you right now. Closing out tonight's show, William the Big Red Machine, Montgomery. He's fighting off his back here tonight. A lot of people disappointed in a period. How do I fucking stand and talking to this?

I'm kidding. That was my joke I've been working on, no, but seriously, Elliot and I had sex last week. we're expecting. No, I'm kidding. You're in for a treat. This probably Jeremiah might be my best set. If we're in Syria, we ain't talking about Jesus.

We're talking about Brandon. Y'all ever watch the Sixth Sense? Because that's been happening to me this past week. Every time I turn on the Sixth Sense, I'm like, hold up. Is that Brandon? If you're in the parking lot of the comedy store, please leave any excess syringes in the tip jar. Darius Rucker from Hootie and the Blowfish is now single. That's way better news than if I told you Darius Rucker released a new single.

If they defunded the Ghostbusters, who are you going to call? That was probably my best. Can I say the next one? Yeah, you want one to work. Maybe that one will work. Go ahead. One to work on one of my favorite bands is traffic. One of my least favorite bands is child traffic.

Oh, boy. All right, William Montgomery. That was his set this week. He had a lot riding on this, people. A lot riding on this. You could say that, Tony. I have this mask on now. because I got something called diabetes.

Oh, boy. Coming off a wild week this week. Coming off a $3,000 loss from one of those games, you put the little marble on. Roulette. Rulette. Lost $3,000 fucking dollars.

Y'all get a good look at these eyes right now. I'm heading back to Memphis. Yep. I lost all my fucking money. I'm going. on. And you're also in the process of losing your job. Is that correct? It is correct. I'm worried about this thing. They call COVID. Although, what's that guy's name? Brandon? Jeremiah, you told me to say that joke. I don't think he did. There's something weird going on with your mask. It's a very

ant eatery. There's an eatery. Yeah, it's aunt eatery. That's what I did in Vegas. You anteateried? ate a bunch of butterfingers. Yeah. In this fucking mask. Yeah. Around all these people. And Michael, I love you. I don't want to call you out,

but I was eating butterfingers around a bunch of crippled folks. Uh-huh. And it gave me the creeps. William lost $3,000 at the buffet in Vegas. Can you say that a little bit slower, bitch? Wow. William, not very nice. Uh, where did you get that mask from?

Did you get that in Las Vegas? From Ron John Surf Shop in Jacksonville, Florida. Oh, you went to Jacksonville this year. Ron John. I seriously thought you were going to say Ron John Silverers. Listen to all the laughs in the room that didn't happen during your set. Jeremiah, I swear to God, man, I listen to your news song. It made me cry to some extent.

Now you're making fun of me sing Ron John Surfing. shop. What am I going to do? I've lost my job. I'm heading back to Memphis. We just work. That's one of my favorite lyrics. Can I read you all one of my favorite quotes? Okay, go ahead.

Is this the comedy part? And they were telling me. Now it doesn't matter now. It really doesn't matter what happens now. I left Atlanta this point. Okay. Well.

Let me start from towards the bottom. No, it's okay. So you went to Vegas, you lost a bunch of money. How's your girlfriend? She is not with us no more. She passed away. She is passed to the other side. That guy holding the fucking camera was there touching my testicles.

It was so sweet of you. He saw what happened. Literally I drowned her. You drowned your girlfriend. literally I drowned her in the Bellagio fountain in Las Vegas in the Bellagio's fountain

I killed her she's 42 why'd you kill your 42 year old girlfriend because I'm 32 oh yeah showed her who's boss just kidding I'm 33 she's 42

I killed her fucking ass she had it coming to her did you at least rough her up a little bit or just straight just a straight did I at least eat a butterfinger Yeah, I did. Wow. You ate a butterfinger while doing it or beforehand?

I ate a butterfinger. Just pregame. Eating a butterfinger, looking in her eyes. I have goggles one. She has goggles one. She's in the bathtub. She's drowning. I don't care no more.

So you drowned her a little bit in the bathtub and then you took her to the... Hey, Red Band, that was perfect, you motherfucker. That toot noise. Did you just say the word drowning? Did I say the word drowning? Good one. Did you? What's wrong with that?

How do you say that? Drowning. D. D. At the end of that. If Red Band's correcting your English grammar, you're in big trouble, dude. I'm in deep shit. Professor what? Everyone in the railroad knows how to say drowning.

Everyone in the railroad. I was in the motherfucking railroad. 15 fucking years. I swear to God. I've worn a mask before. Goodwin. Thank you, Red Band. I've worn this shit before.

I was a conductor. That's what you did on the railroad? I was putting pennies on the track, seeing what happened when the locomotive hit them. That's what I was doing. Jeremiah, get my back on that. I got your back And my name's Gavin

I lacked William better when he called in on the video Thanks so much bitch You got me sick Why do you think I have to wear this now? Where's the marshal on this plane? William, you're my lungs now bitch William you've been saying that you've had coronavirus now for four months

Have you had any symptoms at all? Yeah, I started losing in Chinese checkers you're going to have to check that attitude of the gate okay I've started losing and fucking Chinese checkers Tony and I don't know what the fuck to do well I've been listening to Skinnerd I've been playing Chinese checkers what did you bet on in roulette

Linderd Skindertd black or red on roulette black 22 inch Tahoe lifted All right. That's what I bet on. That's what I was driving. Okay. Driving in Memphis, Tennessee. It was...

A little fun fact, a little inside information. William actually made... William actually caused quite the scene last week around the comedy story. He was pacing around. He was talking very close to people. And you told me that. The Pussies running this place really called me out. No, no, that's not, that wouldn't be the way.

Red Man, is that what you're going to do, motherfucker? You told me to walk around. You piece of shit. I never told you a rock around. You told me to walk around. And now, Tony, you're calling me out for walking around. Red Man, you told me that, dude. I get it.

You're from Ohio. You eat Wendy's. You're 28 years old. I trusted you. I think he's losing it. Excuse me. Your emotional carry-on is a little bit too large for this flight. Jeremiah, just right here, what I picture is, when I was in Vegas,

just me and you being in sort of the top part of that hotel, just me and you being the guy killing everyone, and just me putting on your song, and you being like, William, hey, stop. We just love without you and everything. and just reckless abandon shooting that AK-47 and you stopping shooting and me pointing the guns to your fucking head.

All right. That's tonight's episode. There goes William Montgomery, everybody. There he goes. Go ahead, William. All the way to the back, William. Straight back. Straight back.

Let's check out the drawing from Ryan J.E. Belt. while you all sat around doing nothing, he drew this. Look at that. You can get a little bit closer there. Yeah. That's great. That's all of us on an airplane.

In honor of the flight attendants and, of course, your pilot, Captain Hinchcliff with my first officer, Brian Redband. Okay. We're going to be taking off for another, we'll see you next week. Shout out to those of you in the parking lot that we're awesome enough to join us here at the comedy store,

making history in this 100-year-old building. You know, we're making it happen. We're fitting things into the proper slots here, hoping things get better sometime soon. We have William Montgomery in charge of making the new vaccine for COVID-19, so I'm expecting a cure now any second. Here, go that way, that way, all the way back, all the way there. There you go, and then stand there once you get there, all the way.

A lot of fun stuff happening. We'll be back next Monday with yet another show, which is exciting stuff. Shout out to Vito's Pizza, Ryan J-Ebelt.com, caveman coffee, co.com, and lucy.com. Get off your cigarettes and your vape pens. Go to lucy.com. Use the code kill Tony, and they will literally let you try. their product for the minimum amount of money by law. Yeah, and if you've tried the nicotine gum before,

you know it's expensive usually and it's not that good. This tastes really good, so try it out. Gum is a dollar, lozenges at $2. You can get your lungs stronger than ever during the coronavirus by not catching coronavirus and trying that out. Here's the part where we check in with Jeremiah Walkins, who has a new episode of Jeremiah Wonders out. With Dr. Phil and Shanks, actually.

That's very exciting. Very exciting. You Kill Tony fans are going to love that. Adam Ray plays Dr. Phil. And, of course, Jeremiah plays Shanks. He's got his Venmo piece of paper there. At Jeremiah Dash Watkins to cover all parking fees tonight. For those of you that...

And then I'll be in Arizona at the end of the month, July 30th and 31st. Denver is canceled, but Arizona is still going strong. Wow. You're definitely not going to be in Arizona. It's weird that you want to do that gig. And then I have a Louis J. Gomez shirt up on. Is that a real shirt? That's a real shirt.

That's real. There you go. That's such a weird shirt. Yeah. That's good, though. Jeremiah has been taking some creative chances lately. He's got new songs out. He's going to be dropping more of those.

According to what I've read in Billboard magazine. There's a whole bunch more coming. So we're excited to see some of those romantic songs. I will have a number one song someday. You know what? I agree. You put it, you put those energies out there. And people that believe in hope will clap at that. How about a hand for Jetsky Johnson, everybody. She was here tonight. That was her. She's back from the coronavirus. She's Jetsky Johnson. What else, Jetsky? Everybody who messaged me when I was gone and checked in, you know, everybody here at home listening.

Thank you so much. That was so nice. And if you are alone, hang in there. It sucks. but yeah. She saw what you wrote her. She heard your thoughts. She did not smell a single thing. I didn't smell any of it. Chroma Chris was here tonight, everybody. Unbelievably funny.

Incredibly great on the base. So glad to have you back filling in the sounds of the band. You make it so much more powerful. What am I missing, Chroma? Thanks, Tony. You can just check me out. Check out the baby boy. on Spotify.

Oh yeah. The new album's great. Love that. Thank you. Patty Reagan and the baby boys. Is that right? Pat Reagan and the baby boys? Yes.

We're actually just the baby boys. But Pat Reagan isn't it. It's me, Pat and Joel. And it's the baby boys for those people on on Spotify. There you go. And last but not least, the backbone of the band,

Joel Berger Joel Jimenez, everyone. He's mostly sorry on social media. His new podcast, mostly sorry is out. What else, Joel? Yeah, we're going to drop it on Wednesday this time since we'll be working tomorrow

so we'll see you Wednesday at 5, me and David Deary. I love it. Big thanks to David Deary also. Yes, big thanks to David Deary. You know, he's got a tough gig and he really helps us out tremendously on this show. And sometimes, oh, there he is.

It's right there. Oh, I didn't even recognize. And we love him very much. it's such an important role and we care about him deeply. He's at MF David Deary on all things social media. Catch him working with the great Donnell Rawlings. He's really good on Joel's podcast too. Yeah, he's great on Joel's podcast.

Works with all the funniest people. And we absolutely love David Deary. He's a great comedian, a worldly traveler, and just an overall great guy. He keeps us safe. He's strict about the coronavirus. I remember when we were driving to the ice house that first week, and I was saying all this shit's bullshit and everything, and you're like, no, Tony, this is a really big deal.

People are getting really sick. I have friends in Italy, and I'm like, this fucking nerd is scared of this disease. And it turns out you were completely correct. And I was an asshole. Yeah. I've been an asshole a few times. Hey, guys, check out my show Virtual Redband. If you like Virtual Reality, I play a bunch of virtual reality.

and it's fun. Same with me. My new Side Project Roastmaster class is booming over there. I just had an episode with Saratiana Drop where we went over for the first time ever anywhere, the unheard and Coulter script that was controversial and talked about on many platforms but never heard before.

We went over it. And fun episodes out. Benji Aflalo, David Lucas. This week I'm interviewing Jesse Joyce. the former writer for the late great Greg Giroldo. So everything roasting is happening over there. That's a patreon.com slash Hinchcliffe for that exclusive content. Thank you, Gino, again, Speedweed, and Betterbox Studios for keeping us hold up during the majority of the pandemic.

Ryan Jeebelt.com for Prince and Michael Layer Comedy for all the coolest merch. And thank you audience in the Comedy Store. And the Comedy Store. Thank you, everybody.