KILL TONY - KILL TONY #62 (COMIC CON)

Episode Date: August 16, 2014

Tiffany Haddish, Stephen Glickman, Tony Hinchcliffe, Kimberly Congdon, Sara Weinshenk, Iron Jeremiah/Jeremiah Watkins, Brian Redban – Date: 07/23/2014 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Red Band, and you are listening to Kill Tony. Please check out DeathSquad.tv for all the information about Kill Tony and Death Squad, including all the video portions to all the podcasts that we do. Also, check out the new tour date calendar. Just click on tour dates, and that will show you our current Death Squad shows. If you're listening to this on friday august 15th tomorrow death squad's gonna be in santa barbara august 16th at the velvet jones and then we have a bunch of new shows about to be released including tempe we're going back to

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And we have a basic white and black t-shirt, you know, because we ain't racist here at Death Squad, bro. So check it out. Go to shopsquad.tv for all the new t-shirts and pre-orders. And, hey, if there's something on there that's been on there for a while and you just haven't bought yet now's the time to do it because i know a lot of things are about to sell out and i'm not sure if i'm ready to order anymore so get it got it good all right guys and don't forget to check out tony hinchcliffe's website tonyhinchcliffe.com i know he's in town yeah he's on the road right now with joe rogan a lot so check out his tour dates and his merch and all that stuff all right guys let's do this here is from San Diego Comic- Company for a brand new episode of Kill Tony.

Give it up for Tony Hitchcliffe! Yes! Dreams really do come true, everybody. How are you? Wow, how exciting. San Diego always has an extra amount of energy, and I'm happy to be here again. Happy Wednesday night, everybody, from Comic-Con in San Diego always has an extra amount of energy, and I'm happy to be here again. Happy Wednesday night, everybody, from Comic-Con in San Diego at the American Comedy Company. This is so exciting. Welcome, everybody. How fun. Traffic was crazy.

Jesus. San Diego's crazy right now. The whole place is insane. That was a lot worse than last year, man. I think it was about five hours, five and a half hours. This is my first Comic Con ever, everybody. Wow. Popped your little cherry.

My mind was blown. When we got here, the only thing that we had time to do was go eat. It was at one of those outside places where you see people walking by. There's all these people dressed up like superheroes and cool things. I saw one guy dressed up like Doug Benson and I'm like, Hey, Doug Benson, right? And he turned around and it was Doug Benson. Wow. And so we talked for a few minutes and that

was fun. Yeah. It's kind of weird. Doug's doing a, I guess a podcast down the street. So we're, we're battling podcasts right now, which isn't it, which is, it's like a, that's like, that's sort of like a, I don't know. It's like right in the same alley. That's sort of like I don't know, it's like right in the same alley. It's like if Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd were playing a block away from each other. Well, I mean, that makes it look like maybe Nickelback

or Nilly Vanilly. Yeah. But you get it. That was a fun intro. That was a little unorthodox. Just the whistle. Yeah, it's one of those things where you're bringing everything down from San Diego, and the one thing that you use the most, the iPad, you leave it at home. So I'm just going online.

I might have some interesting cat meows today. Anything can happen. I love it. It's an unorthodox Comic-Con show. I'm so glad you guys made it out. San Diego is the first place that we ever took Kill Tony on the road, so we're glad to be back here before

anywhere else. We've done San Diego twice. We've had requests from pretty much everywhere and anywhere, and we came back to you guys before going anywhere else the first time, so congratulations to you, San we came back to you guys before going anywhere else the first time. So congratulations to you, San Diego. We love you. Yes, we do love you. This is so exciting. We go deep into the world of stand-up comedy. I always have two of my

funniest stand-up friends on the show, and that's going to happen yet again tonight. And we get to see some of the new new fun San Diego talent that signs up for the chance to do one minute the bucket is filled with San Diego comedians for the chance to do one minute and then be on a podcast with all of us including you San Diego this guy wore his best teal polo shirt for the occasion and you know I got the double thumbs up on that from him. That's a newer one, huh? Damn right it is. Young Oscar De La Hoya here in the front. How fun, though.

We've got the setup. It looks like half a sushi restaurant just crashed into a McDonald's up here. And what's better than that? Eagle looks pissed off. All right. I had a horrible bird thing. We have a bird's nest right outside my bedroom window. And have you ever had a bird's nest, like, near your fucking window?

And you don't want to be mad that these little retarded, ugly birds are just like, all day and all night long. But the worst is one fell out. And it was, like, 110 degrees in Burbank the other day. And I guess it sizzled and just cooked. The egg? No, the bird, the little baby bird. And it's awful. My dog was fucking

chewing on it like a toy. And I'm like, what toy do you got there? And I just pick it up. And I'm like, ah! It was a bird course. Dead bird, baby bird. Well, that's a great way to get the show started. Just picture a dead baby bird, everybody, that's a great way to get the show started. Just picture a dead baby bird, everybody, and that'll put a smile on your face.

Fucking gross. Fell out of the nest, the poor little thing. I actually killed a baby bird when I was a little kid. I'll admit it right now, and it made me feel really bad. I remember that my mom was talking to the mailman. I must have been like three or four or five, and there was this baby bird in the backyard, and I grabbed a brick, and I tossed the brick on the baby bird. I swear to God. And I've always looked back at it like my little crazy serial killer moment, but I was just a kid trying to figure out the difference between life and death. So, you know, I guess I one-upped

you on the sad baby bird thing after criticizing. That's just weird that you fucking said that. This is true. We've never talked about this before. I have one instance where I heard something really bad and I look back at it all the time. It was a red cardinal baby bird and it was all fucked up. That's like against the law. I know.

I once killed this bald eagle with a shovel. But I remember I didn't throw a brick at it, but I threw rocks at it because I was just like, what the fuck is this thing? It's a monster. And I always think back at that baby bird that I hit. Well, look, maybe that's what brought us together was our secret of being a baby bird murderer when we were kids.

Who would have thought? One day you're killing baby birds. The next, you've got a successful live podcast together. That's how it happens. That's how it happens, guys. By a round of applause, who here has killed a bird at some point in your life?

Whoa, all right! What if we found the connection? What if everything that we do is all just because we all have this secret desire to kill baby birds? We're all brought together tonight by the souls of the dead baby birds that we've murdered. And you know what? That's going to be tonight's sponsor.

Our sponsor tonight, dead baby birds, everybody. They never get any credit for anything. We're going to start a Kickstarter for dead baby birds. And oh, I don't want to give anything away, but I see some sound effects popping up. I'm trying, man. It looked a little bit like it might have something. Oh, there we are.

It's stupid. It's fun that you have a different sound board than usual. I always like different noises. Yeah. All right. We'll see what happens. Guys, if you've ever seen Kill Tony before... Oh, okay. Is that the

monkey bird? What was that exactly? Wow, I like that. Alright. Let's just do this shit. I love it. As you guys know, we always have a head of security to keep us safe on this show. It used to be that there was an Iron Patriot. If you know anything about the story,

you know that there was a guy in a $5,000 Iron Patriot outfit that came up to us and said, we want to be part of your podcast. I thought it'd be a great idea to have him on the show as set decoration and never let him say anything. After a few episodes, he started talking. I realized that it was funny, our interaction, because he was a crazy guy in a fancy suit. So we had him on the show regularly until in about week 30 or so he started to go crazy and he told us that he got too big for the show.

And that if we ever go on Comedy Central or what was the other thing? Some internet site? Josh. If you're ever on Comedy Central or Josh I'll come back but until then I'm just too big for the show and to show him

how replaceable he was each week we've had a new person dress up in the in a less expensive version of his costume it's still the Iron Patriot but it's all off of Amazon Prime anyway this week it's no different put Amazon Prime. Anyway, this week

it's no different. Put your hands together for our head of security tonight. It's Iron Jeremiah Watkins, everybody! The improvisational guru, Jeremiah Watkins, one of our funniest friends, and the founder of Thunder Pussy.

Greetings. Now, Jeremiah, it's always fun to have you on. Jeremiah's One of our funniest friends and the founder of Thunder Pussy. Greetings. Now, Jeremiah, it's always fun to have you on. Jeremiah is one of the few patriots whose nose is so big that he actually can't wear the mask. That is 100% true. So he has to wear the mask on top of his head, but when he ducks his chin down like this, he looks like an Iron Patriot. So there you go.

Which works out perfectly. Jeremiah is one of our funniest pals. A lot of great podcasts and fun things that you do. Yeah, we're doing like a Thunder Pussy tonight, right after this show. 10 p.m. Who's sticking around for that? Yeah? Oh, that's going to be a lot of fun. You guys better dig deep.

It's going to be a crazy night. Yeah, you get to see me and most of us go, okay, we just drove for six hours. It's time to get fucked up and make an ass of ourselves. Yeah, we're going to let it rip. Now, Jeremiah, you're straight edge. You're from Kansas. That's right, Tony.

How are you feeling tonight? Pretty good. We're sharing Kansas. That's right, Tony. How are you feeling tonight? Pretty good. We're sharing, you know, killing bird stories. Oh. Yeah, one time I killed Hawkeye. Oh, that's right. Superhero San Diego Comic-Con. How are you guys doing tonight?

Superhero references. Oh, Hawkeye. It's a Marvel reference. Oh, I Marvel reference. Did you read comic books, Tony, growing up? No, not really. No, I was more of just, I really just loved pro wrestling and Ghostbusters. Ghostbusters was big. Did you like the cartoon?

Yeah, I liked the cartoon, but I would just watch the movie all the time, really, over and over again. Bill Murray will always be my bankman. Jeremiah, were you a comic book guy? A little bit. I liked action figures in cartoons more because they're easier to watch instead of read. Right.

You cracked yourself up there at the end, huh? A little bit, a little laugh there at the action figure thing. It's funny because when you laugh wearing a mouthpiece like that, it really catches it. It really accentuates it, right? Yeah, it sure did. Hey, there's a live audience here, Todd. Oh, yeah, it's perfect. We got them right where we want them.

Iron Jeremiah, you've done this before. Thanks for keeping us safe, buddy. Absolutely. Your safety is my number one duty. You shit out of your dick? Yeah, number one duty. Poor word choice I guess it all depends on how you spell duty

I've always loved that those two words are the same it'll be my highest duty to and I always just picture this steaming pile of shit duty jokes people duty jokes just picture this steaming pile of shit. Duty jokes, people. Duty jokes. So, how fun. Jeremiah, anything else? You excited about tonight's show? Really looking forward to it.

I'm excited to see what San Diego... I'm figuring out my mic still, guys. Sorry. Excited to see what San Diego's are going to bring to Kill Tony. We did it once at the La Jolla Comedy Store, and now we're doing it here at American Comedy Company, and let's get this thing cracking. I love it.

Ladies and gentlemen, shall I bring out tonight's guests? I think you're going to be really excited. One of them, basically, we started stand-up together. Actually, I started stand-up with both of these guys, pretty much, and they're both amazing. One of them is just

on TBS's Funniest Wins. The other is a regular on Nickelodeon's Big Time Rush. They're both killer stand-ups. Two of my best friends. Put your hands together for the great Stephen Glickman and Tiffany Haddish. To be a gangster, I mean one that you don't really know.

Yeah, Tiffany. Platinum Death Squad member, Tiffany Haddish. One third of the cat pack with me and Brian. When we get on the road together, shit gets what we would call cray cray. Cray cray. That's cat face. It's a very pro-animal episode of Kill Tony. One could call this Kill Birdie. You guys ever kill an animal when you were a kid?

Fuck yeah. That's his real voice, by the way. I kill animals all damn time. I killed roaches. Does that count? I, by the way. I kill animals all damn time. I killed roaches. Does that count? I'm from the hood. Yeah, you are. I killed roaches and rats. I killed a turtle by accident.

How'd you kill a turtle? The Patriot does not approve. How did this turtle situation happen? Oh, man, I got a turtle from downtown LA, and I was taking care of it, and I used to call myself Walking the Turtle, and I tied a thread around its throat to walk the turtle, and the turtle wasn't walking,

so I started pulling the turtle, and I was like, oh, look, you can fly, turtle. Did it become a frog? No, it turned into a motherfucking click-clack, basically. It was click-clacking on the ground. That's a real word. Yeah, that's an actual toy. Well, at least it didn't have a painful death. It just got drug around by its flimsy neck for a few hours. It died like a black man in the 1800s. Oh, wow.

It's great. Too soon, Tiffany. Too soon. The Patriot approves. Thank you, America. Let's talk animal killing. We're there. We're in the moment.

Tell us the truth. Have I ever killed an animal? Yes. No, I haven't. But my uncle killed a bunch of animals because he wanted to get dogs. So he got a bunch of shih tzus. And then

he didn't know how to take care of them very well so he drove over one with his car. Are you fucking serious? I'm dead serious. A shih tzu. You know how cute a little baby shih tzu looks? Yeah, he was like... Yeah, that's one back there. It's bitches in the building.

I thought that was a human being in the audience, by the way. That was terrifying. He ran over one with his car. He dropped one... I think he dropped one on his head and it died. And then the other one, he dropped in the pool and then turned the remote and it went over the pool cover, covered it. He was a murderer.

Yeah, he's not allowed to own dogs anymore. I was just like one of those kids off of Animaniacs or something. You know, that one little girl that loved the animals? That was me. Did he get in trouble for this? He got in a lot of trouble. The ASPCA gave him... Yeah, he was in deep, deep shit too.

He was in some deep, deep shit too. Now, Glickman, I understand. the ASPCA gave him deep deep shih tzu deep deep shih tzu now Glickman I understand Glickman I understand that you're on a Nickelodeon show and that if they found out that you're an animal killer you were an animal killer as a child it might not be good but enough about your

uncle I want to know what kind of animal you killed when you were a kid I'm going to get this out of you. Oh, man. You know you have that one flashback where you like. A fish? I mean, Brian killed a baby red cardinal, for Christ's sakes. Yeah, no.

I didn't kill an animal. At least my bird was like one of those peasant normal birds. Right. But once I had one of those big goldfish that looked like a baseball with like the eyes that stick out. Oh, sure. Yeah, and it died. And I lived in Ohio, and it was like negative 30 out. So I put my dead fish

on the front porch and it froze like a baseball. Perfect. And then I threw it and his eyeball cracked off. I had one of those goldfish with the extended eyeball too and it gets like infected and comes out and we changed its name to Popeye. I remember that specifically. I killed a rat.

That's the coolest thing I've done when it comes to killing animals. What remember that specifically. I killed a rat. That's the coolest thing I've done when it comes to killing animals. Were you guys racing to the same block of cheese or something? We were. I was like, you stay the fuck away from my cheese! Stay away from my cheese, sucker. It

broke into my apartment and ate a bunch of cookies out of a drawer that I had. Oh, there's no faster way to die in the hands of Wickman than to break into his cookie drawer. Wait, it broke into your apartment? It broke in like through a wall. Are you talking like a mafia rat? No, it was like

I'm fucking coming in. I'm coming in. It like, it busted a hole through the wall, got in and then ate my fucking cookies and I was like, no one eats my cookies. Wow. How did you kill the rat? I called an exterminator.

Oh, you're such a pussy. So you really didn't kill it? I'm a big pussy. Hilarious. I didn't really. I used to get those sticky rat traps. That's how I did it. I called an exterminator.

Well, I put some traps down, you know, and then it, like, knocked over one of the traps, and then I was like, I I did it. I called them. Well, I put some traps down, you know, and then it like knocked over one of the traps. And then I was like, I fucking got it. And then it got out, you know, and I was like, man, I got to call someone for real. Take care of this shit. I can't do that. Yeah. Yeah.

So I called the real guy and he came over and he was a real man who smoked cigars. Oh, a cigar smoking exterminator, everybody. Lloyd's Pest Control. Oh, little shout-out. San Diego. This is about killing animals as a child. That's what this podcast is about. What about as a young woman in her 20s trying to have a pit bull farm?

Did you do that? Yes. You had a pit bull farm? Well, it was my grandma's house. It was a three-bedroom house, and I had 14 pit bulls. 14? Yeah, 14 pit bull puppies I had. And I would go down to Venice Beach with my little Red Ryder wagon,

and I would try to sell the pit bull puppies. But then they caught parvo because I was birds in the yard. And I got me a BB gun, and I started shooting pigeons. This podcast is brought to you by Petco Park. Petco Park for all your pet needs. We got into a weird place. I love that twist. I thought it was going to just be all about the pit bulls.

And you're like, so I had all these pit bulls, and then I started shooting pigeons with a BB gun. Yeah, because birds give dogs parvo because they carry it. And then you know what else I used to do? Now, I did do this as a kid. Okay, so you ever go to the beach and you be eating like a hot dog or something and a seagull will just come and take your hot dog? Right? That's messed up, right?

They just be stealing out your hands. I know when I'm at the beach and a pigeon be doing that, it drives me crazy. But I'm talking about not a pigeon, like a pelican. You know what I'm saying? Them big ass birds with the big faces. And so. You mean like Jeremiah? A seagull.

Yeah. Yeah. A Jeremiah. And one time I was on the beach eating a hot link, right? One of them Louisiana hot links. And the pelican or the seagull, whatever, came up and took it out my hand. And it ate it. And I was so mad so mad and I was like I hope you die and the bird exploded because it was spicy right and feathers went everyone's like poop and again I killed it there's a you know there's involuntarily I didn't mean to maybe I'm a murderer there's a place down here in San Diego

uh Cardiff by the sea you guys know where that is yeah, Cardiff by the Sea. You guys know where that is? So Cardiff by the Sea has these beautiful restaurants right on the water. And I'll never forget this as long as I live. There was a fancy, fancy, schmancy restaurant right on the ocean. And we were all sitting there and everyone was having a very nice time. Thanks for yawning. I will fucking kill you. So we're all sitting there.

And I'll never forget this. There was a seagull. Everyone's having this fancy dinner, and a seagull lands right next to where everyone's eating, and it's got a stick coming out of its eye. And it would just go. It would be like. Ba-ga-ga-ga.

Ba-ga-ga. Ba-ga-ga-ga. And everyone was like, oh, that seagull's got a stick coming out of its eye. And it would just look right at you with its one eye. And it was there for like years. I remember for like five, six years, I would take fancy dates there and just wait for it to happen. And it would land. And then just.

It was great. Man, that bird was probably asking somebody to pull that shit out of its eye. Pull it out of my eye. And then if you would have pulled that stick out of its eye, it would have laid a gold egg. You'd be a fucking millionaire. That's hilarious. That's my world.

Well, that's the animal portion of the show, everybody. Everybody's favorite part. This is the part where we talk to comedians. They do a minute of stand-up, and then we chat to them afterwards. Comedians, you guys know that your 60 seconds is up when you hear the sound of a kitty.

Or the sound of a UFO. Whatever the crush that was. Or the sound of a vibrator when the battery's dying out. Pussy on block. That means you've got to wrap it up quick, because if you keep going longer than that, you're going to bring out the Angry West Hollywood Bear. I think down here it might be the Hillcrest bear.

The Hillcrest bear? The what? The Hillcrest bear. That's the West Hollywood of San Diego. Hillcrest bear. I went to Hillcrest Elementary School. Does that make me gay? It does.

Gay as fuck. 100%. Here in San Diego? It does. Gay as fuck. 100%. You're in San Diego? Wow. Gay for that dick. That part, I'm a faggot for dick. I'll suck the wrinkles out of some balls. That's right.

Oh, wow. It sounds just like that, too. I felt... Oh, Tiffany. Say my name, nigga. Those guys took those red balls out of their mouths just to scream at that for a moment.

Our S&M fans. That's the best thing that ever happened. You guys ready to get this thing started or what? Jeremiah, you had no questions for our guest? You got any questions for the guest, Jeremiah? Yeah. Yeah, you improvisational guru, you. Go right ahead.

What was your favorite moment working on Big Time Rush, Mr. Glickman? When I got paid. That part. It was fun, man. The funnest thing I ever did was fly. I got to fly and be a superhero. And they hooked me up in the sky and I got to fly. And while I was flying as a superhero

with a cape and everything, they played that Greatest American theme song. Greatest American Hero. Look at what's happened to me. I can't believe in myself. And it was like the greatest moment of my life. Hands down. I'd love to see the camera footage

of the three guys on the ground that have to hold you. I'll show you. It's fascinating. Really? You actually have that? I have video. I have real video. That's got to be funny. How about a question for Tiffany? Tiffany, what is the weirdest looking dick

you've ever seen? Whoa. Please describe. The weirdest looking dick I've ever seen. Did it look like the turtle that you walked to death? Is this like grown dick or like baby dick? Because I used to be a babysitter.

Please stick to grown dick. Because I babysitted this one little boy. I was like, ooh, you ain't going to get no bitches. The weirdest dick I ever seen was on an African dude his dick had like it was like a curve it was not only like a curve in it like a hook in it but it kind of like it was like a u-turn dick I called it it had a u-turn oh my god and it was like the dick went back to him it was like a cane yeah like a candy cane no it was worse than a my God. And it was like the dick went back to him. It was like a cane. Yeah, like a candy cane.

It was worse than a candy cane. I mean, it had like, like it was touching the base, like the tip was touching his base. Jesus. But it was curled up towards his belly button. I was like, ooh, I think you put this in the microwave too long. This motherfucker curled up. It's hot in Africa, ain't it? Old plastic bent up dick.

He needs braces for his dick. I think he used it too much. Sufficient answer provided. You're welcome. Well, let's get this party started. You guys ready to see some San Diego talent or what? Hell yeah! Yeah, bring it on!

Let's go! Is there anybody here not from San Diego that's visiting from somewhere else for Comic-Con? Where are you coming from? New York. Fuck yeah. Well, welcome, sir. New York City. New York is here, everybody.

Put your hands together for your first comedian tonight. He goes by the name of Carl Zika. Woo! It's Carl, everybody. So I was at the gym the other day and I heard a guy, a grown-ass man screaming. You know this guy at the gym. He has to scream

to seek approval. You know, because it's the best thing he does in his life. He lifts heavy things and puts them back down. And I looked at that guy, he wrapped his knees, and I asked him, yo, bro, why are you wrapping your knees? He's like, oh, it's because the amount of weight I'm pushing might explode my knees. I don't know.

No, you're good, you're good. Keep going. Oh, I don't know. I don't know if about you guys, but if there's any exercise that risks my joints exploding, I'm not going to do it. You have 10 seconds if you have anything else. No, that's good. That was the... What you thought was the cat originally was just Jeremiah's nose

having a reaction to your joke. But the Patriot enjoyed that joke thoroughly. So, after you said the knees exploding thing, can you repeat the rest repeat what happened after that? Oh, I just said... You're not going to go to the gym because you don't want to have that. Just if you're pushing that much weight,

why would you ever need to do that if you're going to risk your joints exploding? Gotcha. I agree with that. Yeah. Of course you do. Glickman wraps his knees and he doesn't even work out. That's true.

It's actually bacon wrap. That's for his own body weight. His knees are like pigs in the blanket. Yeah. Pigs in the blanket. So you work out a lot. How long have you been doing stand-up? About a month.

Nice. Well, I'm going to tell you right now, your eyebrows are off the motherfucking chain. You are killing them with them eyebrows. They look better than mine. All right? I need to know. That smile we need to work on, but the eyebrows are good. No, his

smile is good. He got a good dentist. All right, settle down. I was kidding. He got them from Tijuana. They look like big-ass chicklets. Them is cute. He ready. Sell them from Tijuana. They look like big-ass chicklets. Them is cute. He ready. Sell them motherfuckers. You turn into a totally different looking person when you smile. Has anybody ever told you that before?

Yeah, I look mean as shit when I don't smile and then when I smile, people talk to me. You're like a Bond villain when you're not smiling. Yeah, I have a joke about that. What's the joke about your face? What's the joke about your face? I just say if I'm not smiling, I look like a Bond villain. And then I say when I'm drunk, my voice is Russian sounding. So I'm like Ivan Drago from Rocky IV.

He's going to say when he smiles, he looks like Gold Bond. Do you do an impression of him? Yeah, like if he dies, he dies. If he dies, he dies. When he smiles, he looks like an Asian that just sold me some hair. I'm thinking of you so much. I hope you like your unicorn hair. You're cute.

I totally sit on your face. Wow. What nationality are you, Carl? I'm from the Czech Republic. Czech Republic. Wow. How many languages do you speak? Three. Three? Which ones? Czech, Spanish, and English.

Okay. Spy alert initiated. Can you speak Czech really well? Reasonably well, not that well. Can you say something, like a sentence in Czech for us, just so we know what it sounds like? Yeah, I'm Ljubim Český. It's just I speak Czech.

He did it with an American accent. I want to hear it with a Czechoslovakian accent. If you can do a Czech accent, can you do an accent like that? It's very Russian. Yeah? You should do like a Yakov Smirnoff thing. That could be fun. Yeah.

Like, in Czech Republic, we don't have. In America, we have apples to eat. It's good at the market. In Czech Republic, we are set on fire. Like, do stuff like... You could do that. That'd be fun. That would be good.

Yakov's tone of jokes is so funny. Mixing that. Somebody just blatantly ripping it off would be so funny. Somebody asked me the other day if they should visit Czech Republic. I say, you should check yourself before you wreck yourself. Just the way he says it.

You can say anything, and it's funny. Somebody say to me the other day, ah... In America, you have you have automobile that you can buy and then drive without anybody bothering you. In Czech Republic,

they light fire to my wife. Stuff like that. I don't know. You should do that. I do that sometimes. Why do you know how to speak Spanish? I've lived here. From hooking up with somebody in San Diego? Have you fucked a lot of Mexicans?

No. They fine as hell. Did you have a Mexican nanny? No. My you fucked a lot of Mexicans? No. No? They fine as hell. Did you have a Mexican nanny? No. My brother has a Mexican wife. Oh, and so you learned from her? You fucking her too? No.

I just started dating a Mexican. It seems like it should come with a handbook. It's very, like, I feel like I'm a bitch. Hell yeah. Mexicans work hard. Now I know why Mexicans work so hard is to get out of the house. Seriously.

I went to a restaurant the other day. My friend said check please. I said what do you want? I'm right here. That's good stuff. Tony scores big. That's hilarious. Well, Carl, how many spots a week are you doing? Are you working hard at it?

Yeah, I do it like four to five times a week. For the last month? Perfect. That's what's up. Is this what you want to do with your life? Sure. What did you do before? For the last month? Perfect. That's what's up. Is this what you want to do with your life? Sure. What did you do before?

I used to be just random tour guide stuff. Where were you giving tours at? La Jolla. La Jolla? What were you giving tours of? Like kayaking, like caves and shit. Are you talking about that on stage yet? Have you talked about that at all?

Not really. Have you ever fucked somebody in a cave? Unfortunately not, but I should have. Oh yeah, well it's not too late. You ever fucked someone who has a vagina like a cave? Because I know someone who can introduce you to it. It's not me! It's not her. I know you ain't talking about me.

She's tight. She's not post that part. I soak in vinegar and water every week. Being Czechoslovakian is hard. The other day I hook up with Mexican girl. She get pregnant. We make Chexican. We make Chex Mix. Chex Mix.

We make Chex Mix. I see Chex Mix all the time. That's what I call riding the subway in Czechoslovakia. Carl, thank you so much. Carl Zika, everybody. Thanks for coming. He's San Diego's next star. Dick Whitty, Carl.

Dick Whitty. He's been in a lot of spots. That's a five spots a week isn't easy to do in San Diego. I'm sure that must take a lot of hustle. How many spots is he doing a week? Five. That's ridiculous. He's on Twitter at Zika Carl.

That's Z-I-K-A Carl. All one word. How fun. Real good. We're off and bumping. Any history over in Czechoslovakia, Iron Jeremiah? I've killed a few people over there. Okay.

Let's keep it rolling. You guys get it? You having fun, San Diego? You sons of bitches. Your second comedian tonight goes by the name of Mike DeVore. Yeah! Mike DeVore. So I was driving today, and I pulled up behind a BMW with a license plate holder that said,

UC San Diego alumni. That's some snub shit. That makes me want to get a really fancy car with a really shitty license plate holder. Like, hey, did you see that guy driving that Ferrari? Can you believe he graduated from ITT Tech? You see that guy driving that Bugatti? Man, I can't believe he got his degree

from University of Phoenix. You see that Maserati down the street? He got that because of Lakeisha's Beauty School of Arts. So my wife's been sending me pictures of all the food she's been cooking. It's an upgrade from when she used to send me pictures of her boyfriend's dick. Damn. Either way, she has great taste.

Meow. Meow. Fuck yeah, that's it. I like how you just wait for the cat instead of just wrapping it up, but that's cool. You got an applause break out of that awkward pause. I love it, Mike. What are we talking about here? What was the first thing?

Oh, yeah, your girlfriend's taking pictures. The license plates. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the license plate thing. The only thing that I don't really get is I just don't understand how. I think that you need to explain that you want to be rich and get the car, right? That's the part that I miss. I mess up the part that I miss.

I mess up the setup where I was supposed to say license plate, like a really fancy car with a really crappy college license plate holder. Right. So I don't see that college part. You know what I would do if I were you as somebody who has, that I watch a lot of stand-up, and I would just lose University of Phoenix and ITT Tech as a rule of thumb. Those things happen so often. But if you go straight

to LaQuisha's beauty school on a Ferrari, then you're in and cooking with something. You're a little bit more of a misdirect than... Yeah, just those two specific places.

Exactly. Graduate of Alcatraz. Because you know you can get a degree in jail. Ask me how I know. Or, you know what? Since you're in San Diego, you could do like Palomar College. Yeah, community colleges.

Or do like, if you name like a college in the town that you're at. Like University of Corozpon Community College? That's funny. That's funnier. How long have you been doing stand-up? About four months. Wow. How often are you getting up?

About five to six times a week. Wow. What? Five or six? Really? So you're saying that Carl Zika is a little punk-ass bitch is what you're saying. Yeah. are you getting up? About five to six times a week. Wow. Five or six. So you're saying that Carl Zika is a little punk-ass bitch. Yeah, fuck you, Carl.

He's grinding, too. Of course. No, I'm kidding. I know you guys have to see each other a lot. That's why I like to put you on the spot in that situation. Mike, what nationality are you? You guys all seem like weird mixes so far tonight. Filipina. Filipina. Just Filipina? I far tonight. Filipina. Filipina. Just Filipina?

I'm white. I'm a cracker. You're like the Andre the Giant to Filipinos. I know you're just 5'8", but for Filipino, that's huge. Is your wife Filipino too? No, she's Mexican. Really? You say that like you're heavily disappointed.

No, she's Mexican. He said that kind of proud. She's Mexican. To me, it seemed like she's Mexican. He said that kind of proud. She's Mexican. To me, it seemed like he was proud when he said that. Like, she cooks, she cleans, she fucks. But Filipinos do that, too. And his parents are probably like, They do?

You should have, you should have. You do kind of look like a cross between The Rock and Andre the Giant, though. But like in a bad way. You know what I'm saying? When he says rock, he means an actual rock. I think he got ass for days. Put a week on it.

You could talk about it looking like The Rock. He built like a black one. You look like The Rock. Thank you. I have a joke that I go with. I look like Rufio from the movie Hook. That's good. But you should be like, after he died.

Yeah. I could see him being a Ninja Turtle for Halloween. You could totally pull that off. Good grief. He should be a Ninja Turtle for Halloween. That's racist. He should totally do that,

and then you should walk down the street with him on a collar and try to relive your childhood. And I'm dressed up like Shredder. How long have you been married for, Mike? About four and a half years. How old are you? 27.

Dude, the stuff about your wife's really funny. I mean, that stuff's really funny, dude. You got married to a Mexican young. Did you get her pregnant? No. No kids. No kids? Wow.

That's amazing. You just really love her. Like, you love her. Yeah, and I joined the Navy, too, so. Oh, yeah, you're trying to get them good benefits. No, I love her. And you love her. Are you in the Navy or is she in the Navy? I'm in the Navy. You're in the Navy? He's in the Navy,

but she swam here from Mexico, so it's sort of close. Similar. You picked her up at Insuletus. You've got to talk about being in the Navy on stage. Are you doing that? I attempt to do when I first started. You've got to do it. That's too big

to talk about the Navy on stage. Yeah, like, what was it like being on a boat for six months? No pussy. It sucked.

I mean, he's been with his wife for four years so I'm pretty sure he's used to no pussy. Yeah. You can't possibly be having sex with her. No, she's Spanish.

She's horny. She's a good wife. Oh, she must be here. All right, I guess I'm the asshole. They're still young. They're still doing it. They're still making it happen. Wait till she turns 30.

Oh, my God. Yeah. She's really going to be sending you dick pics for real. What else do you like to talk about Mike? Just whatever comes to mind I wanna write clean material I strive to write clean material Gotcha, you from San Diego, born and raised? Not born

But from San Diego Why do you strive to write clean material? I was like When I was researching to do comedy, it's better, because if you can write clean, you can write dirty, but if you just write straight dirty. Yeah, but are you clean? For the most part.

You should always be yourself, so you shouldn't try to be clean if you're not a clean person. Yeah, normally Filipinos are very, very dirty. I agree with that. I don't know about that. Not their material, just their culture. I guess for me, it's just my personal taste. I like listening to clean material, so I try to.

Sorry, R2-D2 is calling. Glickman just got a call from Big Hollywood. Big Hollywood. Yeah, I have a weird thing with the whole clean material thing. Because a lot of comics always say that's lazy. That's, you know, if you're new, that's an easy way to hide shit. But I'm a really dirty fucking person, though. So if I try to clean up my act, I'm actually doing a play.

Because I'm not going to be like, and then this lady came over here and I kissed her on the cheek. That doesn't happen. You know, like I'll fucking slap her and put a finger in her, you know? Yeah, but you know there's a difference between being dirty and being dirty. Like, for example, like when I go on stage I'll say fuck or shit

or whatever, but I, and that's about as dirty as I get. Like I have content that's dirty material, but like the stuff that I'm talking about isn't dirty. I'm just using bad words to do it. I don't think I have content that's dirty material, but the stuff that I'm talking about isn't dirty. I'm just using bad words to do it. I think that's not a bad idea, because then you can always clean it up for television.

But if you want to talk about, like, sometimes I want to talk about a girl that I dated who got fucked by a robot. Sometimes I want to talk about that. That's a real thing. That really happened. What's the dirtiest joke you have, Mike? Ladies, don't you hate it when you get jizz on your pubes? That's the whole joke. If she has pubes.

Yeah, that's pretty dirty. Because we get it waxed out. I can see why you don't do dirty. Yeah, don't do dirty. Maybe it's best you just keep it clean. When I first started doing stand-up, I worked all clean. Like, all clean for the first like five years, and then I realized

Really? What did you do? Make queef noises with your mouth? No! I didn't even know how to queef then. I was 16. I didn't even know how to queef. All I knew how to do was like talk about, like I rode the bus. I was in foster care, so I talked about living with different types of races.

You were 16 when you started? Yeah, I was 16 when I started doing comedy. I was in foster care, so I talked about living with different types of races. You were 16 when you started? Yeah, I was 16 when I started doing comedy. I talked about being a mascot at my high school and being 3% African American and how I was a Mexican soldier as a mascot and how I was a Blacksican. I talked about all kinds of stuff, but once I

started having sex and realizing that was my power, I started talking about that shit. I love it. My pussy is powerful. And it can change lives. Take Tiffany's advice and start talking about your pussy. Yes. Thank you Mike

DeVore. Great job buddy. He's on Twitter at It's Mike DeVore. All one word. It's Mike DeVore. D-E-V-O-R-E. DeVore. That sounds French, too. Yeah, it's interesting. It's Filipino. Yeah, Filipinos, you know, they have Spanish names, French names, everything. They mix.

They like black people, but of the Asians. You know, sometimes I go to I don't know. And you know, Filipino women only date black men. That's why he had to marry a Mexican. Y'all can Google that. It's the truth.

Okay. Put your hands together for your next comedian, Sebastian Tawa. Woo! Tawa! Tawa! All right, so I recently just met my girlfriend's family. She's Colombian. I don't know if anyone's ever met a Latina family,

but everyone's got the same fucking name. She was like, this is my brother, Jose Maria Jesus. My other brother, Jesus Maria Jose. And my sister, Maria Jose Jesus. I was like, you guys Hindu? But you know, somebody told them they have a name problem because clearly somebody came along and was like, look, you guys, you need to get more names. They're like, oh, okay, well, we'll do two first names, two middle names,

mother's maiden name, father's last name, location of birth, neighbor's dog, and the current pope. It's like, no, not more names, like more names to choose from. You don't have to use all of them every time. Even their cities, I don't know what it is with the Spaniards, just like no creativity. It's like San Francisco, San Diego, Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz, Santa Fe, Corpus Christi, Los Angeles, Salvador, El Salvador, San Salvador. All right, Spain, we get it. We love Jesus.

All right. That cat died at the end of that one. That was a cat slowly dying. You should have said, okay, we get it. We're in Mexico. What were we talking about there about the names Latin names you're Latin? No

I'm from Colorado but my dad's Egyptian my mom's French Egyptian French lover. Are you dating a Hispanic lady? Yeah Colombian oh yeah you better be careful.

You know they got that devil's breath in Colombia and they blow that dust in your face and then you have no will. She controls you. Next thing you know, your bank account's empty. You sitting on the corner with your dick out like, what happened? That wouldn't change much from my current bank account.

But she'll get your inheritance. You got Egyptian and French in you. That means you got inheritance. Dude, I think that... I don't want to jump in, but I think that... I do want to jump in. I want you to jump in. I will jump.

Cannonball. I'm going to cannonball. Get that shit. I'll break the stage. I feel like that kind of material, that kind of material it makes sense like it makes it's it makes sense you gotta you kind of have to just take that shit and it feels like that's material that's like in the middle of your act like you're not opening with that right is that stuff that you're bigger act of other names as well from latin names latin names and arab names

and black it sounds like a george carlin bit like an old that's a really act of other names as well. Latin names. Latin names and Arab names and black names. It sounds like a George Carlin bit. Like an old... Well, that's a really nice compliment. Well, I mean... Wait. Hang on. It's like George Carlin format.

Yeah, no, no. It sounds like a George Carlin format of a joke. It's just you need to find some more punchlines in there. Because right now it's just like name, name, name, name, name. It's a lot of information. And you're saying the word names a lot, which I'm trying to figure out what you're talking about. It's like a math joke combined with it.

What was the first part of it where you actually were naming names? Oh, she's introducing her family. And they all have the same names just shuffled in different orders. Could you do that in an accent? Yeah, I could try, but I'm not good at accents. You should. It needs some kind of spice to it. It needs some seasoning, man. This is my son, Maria

Juan Carlos. Jesus Maria Jose. This is my other son. What did you do before you started doing comedy? I'm still doing it. What are you, a salesman? No, I'm a neurophysicist. Oh, shit.

I was way off. Jesus. God damn, why don't you talk about that shit? Because I don't even know what that is. That sounds like something that's going to make me cum. I do have a bit about trying to pick up a chicken. Sorry. Neuro, I got nerves.

I'm afraid you're going to come back here and, you know, blow us up or something. What is a neurophysicist? Not because of the Egyptian stuff. That's a whole different thing. But what is a neurophysicist? You deal with nerves, like science and like. I study the brain. Yeah, I study how information is transmitted in the brain.

Do you study black women's brains that get perms and shit? No. Because I think that's why black women be acting up because the perms be fucking with their nerve system and their brains because the chemicals get in, right? And it make a green mucus between your scalp and your skull and it make you want to fuck

some more. We haven't studied that yet. You should study that shit. Is there any differences with brain function in race that you've noticed? No, there's no. Our brains are pretty much identical to a rat. Right.

Despite what we want to think. That's where her rat comes from. Do you do material about your job? I do have a bit about trying to pick up chicks as a physicist. That's fucking great. What is that? Can you do it? It's pretty long, but... Can you do

just a little bit of it? Abort mission. How long have you been trying to stand up, Sebastian? A couple years. Nice. You doing a lot of spots, or is the neurophysicism taking over a lot of your time? I mean, that takes up time, but not at night. I usually get up five times a week.

When you a neurophysicist, do you work with live people or dead people? No. I work theoretical. You don't even work with people? You just doing math about brains? I'm pretty sure he's running this whole operation out of his garage. You just mostly

work with mice? No, they work with birds and You just mostly work with mice? Other people, no, they work with birds and, yeah, mice. They work with birds? What are you, the cleanup guy? What the fuck? They work with birds and then I have to do the math and figure it out. So you don't actually be hands-on with the brain, you just

be like behind the scenes, like you do the data. I have to come up with theories that explain the brain. That explain the brain. Yeah's i think here's the thing we're saying is that when it comes to doing material about names or doing material about like okay we get it in mexico you have all the same fucking sand this sand you lost this lost that it needs some stank on it like it needs it doesn't take a neurophysicist to realize that nature is a real thing. But you're a neurophysicist.

Do some more smart shit you do about how what's it like being smarter than every fucking person in this room. That's a big fucking deal, man. I don't do math well. I'm not good at math. How about telling us why motherfuckers be bipolar?

I think that's another ignorant question from Tiffany Haddish. No, I'm not ignorant. I'm just saying, break that shit down. What happens when you get your ass beat? What happens to your brain? I want to know. Amnesia sometimes? Really expanding the neurophysicist thing

seems to be the advice from the pan. Nobody's doing that. Because you've got great tone on stage and you're funny and you've got a good fucking look. I would just keep playing. Don't dumb it down and just reach for it and use that neurophysicist thing as part of your perspective.

Because nobody's doing that shit. I agree. Yeah, who the fuck? What are we going to do? Ne neurophysicist thing as part of your perspective. Because nobody's doing that shit. I agree. Yeah, who the fuck? What are we going to do? Neurophysicist jokes? It's tough doing math jokes. Oh, so it's mathematics. It's a lot of math. It's physics. It's a lot of math. Because you're smarter,

what are the problems that happen because you're smarter? So like talking to a girl and she's interested, like, oh, you're a physicist, that's fantastic. And she asks a bunch of questions and as soon as I start answering them, I lose her. Right. Because it's nerdy.

Well, you should tell her what her body shape, like what number she is. You know what I'm saying? Be like, damn, baby, you look like a nine right now. Thick at the top, small at the bottom. I want to get in that. I want to sit in your loop, baby, you look like a nine right now. Thick at the top, small at the bottom. I want to get in that. I want to sit in your loop. Like, you know?

I love that you can't think of any math references. Damn, girl, you look like a nine. I want to multiply a load all over you. I want to sit in your hole. I don't know. I don't know. I want to divide those legs. All right. Yeah, I don't know. Sebastian. I don't know. I don't know. I want to divide those legs and all right.

Yeah, I don't know. Sebastian. I don't know math. You're not on Twitter, Sebastian? No. Why is that? Laziness. Are you on Facebook?

Yes. All right. Well, there you go. What's your Facebook? Do you have a home phone number you want to give out? Where do you live? What's your address? 9-10-11-12.

What's your mom's name? Well, come back on the show next time we're in town. Yeah. And show us your neurophysicism stuff. Yeah. Sebastian Tawa, everybody. Great job, dude. Sebastian Tawa of power.

Jeremiah, how's it going over there? How you feeling? Feeling pretty good, Tony. Feeling pretty good. You excited about Thunder Pussy after this? Yes, very excited you can feel it in the air right is that costume too small for him

because it's so far up his ass he does have a I have a 6 foot 3 wearing a kids costume right now so probably looks like an arrow pointing down he does have a massive wedgie. Yeah.

Tiffany, I love you. Pull the next name. Tiffany Haddish is with us. Steven Glickman. Brian Redband. We're having fun. You guys ready for your next comedian? Yeah.

This guy was on the episode with Joe Rogan and Dom Irere a few weeks ago, and he tore the house down. He's a favorite here on Kill Tony, follows us around to a lot of crazy places and he made it here tonight. Put your hands together for Dennis Wilson, everybody. Woo! Science!

Yeah! Dennis! What's up, what's up? Yeah. From South Central Los Angeles. And it's hard out there. And I just found out today, this was on the news, that because of environment and economical reasons,

that black people are three years older than white people. So that explains why black children get their first electric bill at age five. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Also, I was arrested for identity theft once. Identity theft is easy if you don't draw attention to yourself. Now, I bought a Cadillac.

I didn't have any problems because I guess a lot of people buy black people buy Cadillacs but the next place I went into they called the police on me because apparently black people don't buy patio furniture. There's a lot of things different in South Central like we have ice cream trucks in South Central but you got to watch open you know have an ice cream truck in South Central. We have ice cream trucks in South Central, but you got to watch open, you know, have an ice cream truck in South Central because black kids will get in your truck. They won't wait outside.

All right, thank you. There you go. Dennis Wilson laying it down together. I love that. Always funny, Dennis. Now, I think I recognize that Cadillac one, right? You did that on the last one? Yeah.

The reason why I did it is because last time I was on the show, I keep forgetting that I'm here for the expert, for helping with my jokes sometimes. Well, you know, it all works out. Yeah, but I miss that. My question is this. How often do you write material? How often do you write new material? Because it's been a couple months since we did the

Rogan thing, or a month or two. The joke that I just did about the black people, I wrote that today. Oh, there you go. I wrote that today. The only reason why I did that joke again is because I wanted to hear your take on it, on

identity theft. Right. Because I need to be in it, on identity theft. Right. Because I need to be in the pocket on that joke. Right. Because I got a lot of identity theft. How often, how many spots do you do a week? I'm not getting a lot of spots. I'm only getting like two to three spots a week. Why is that? Because I live in the IE. The IE, the Inland Empire. Oh, there's a lot of shows out there. I know. I used to

do that San Manuel Casino out there every Wednesday. Yeah, I want to do that. If I were you, I'd start my own show at some cool bar that has a stage. I'd ask them what day of the week you could just have a room and start it from scratch. Yeah, the Jazz Cafe out there. You're such a funny guy that you could totally just host something and then all of a sudden build a little thing,

have a few comedians come out. Everybody really likes you, you know what I mean? I know my buddy, the very talented Benji Aflalo, brought you up the other day and talked about how funny and cool you are. And all of us, we've always talked about how cool you are. A good person always stands out to us. So you definitely have that going for you,

where you know enough comedians and you have the talent to run your own show, and that'll take care of an extra hour and a half of stage time per week if you just run your own stand-up shows. And it'll also, since you get to go up between every comedian if you're hosting the show, it gives you a chance to work on so much more material since a guy like you, who's so funny,

needs to be hitting that stage a lot. So if you do that once a week, you'll kill two birds with one stone. I highly recommend that for you because you're way too funny to just be doing a couple spots a week. Right, everybody? Dennis Wilson's home.

Well, I'm leaving for New York on the 16th of August to the 21st, so I plan on doing a lot of rooms down there. Oh, yeah, you're going to do a lot of rooms in New York. I just want to test to see what I got out and see if I can do it on the East Coast. Totally. That's a great idea. I appreciate you guys every time I come up here. Phil Tony, I'm a big fan of Phil Tony. Dude, the ice cream shit was hilarious.

Yeah. That's a great joke. I wrote that one today, too. That's great. That's true, though. I used to stay getting on the ice cream truck when I was a kid. I grew up in South Central, so that's true. I know.

She ready. Yeah, that part. You know she ready. Did you know whatever the song is on an ice cream truck, so that's true. I know. She ready. Yeah, that part. You know she ready. Did you know whatever the song is on an ice cream truck, whatever the most generic... It's Pop Goes the Weasel. Isn't it like, it's a racist song? It was. Yeah, it was.

No, it's not Pop Goes the Weasel. Pop Goes the Weasel was about killing black people. Oh, that's in your neighborhood. No, that's the entertainer. That's the white ice cream. That's the white neighborhood. We had the entertainer.

How's the black one go? California love. Everybody loves ice cream, so get a drink. You know when you want something cold to eat. You know you want this cold pop All in your mouth

Eat it Get this ice cream Eat it out Oh You got toast Black toast It's all of you We got that shit

That make you wanna spit Bro We got ice water We got that good shit Suck on this blow pop Yes it's a big Poe Yeah

That's what Hell yeah Hell yeah. That's what black kids do to get free ice cream. They do a whole rap album for the ice cream man. Free ice cream. DJ Popsicle. Dennis, thank you so much.

You were great. Dennis Wilson, he's on Twitter at DJ Sunset Boulevard. Did it again. Cold-blooded kill. Yes, he read. He killed. He did it. I couldn't get spots in Ohio at all.

It took me two months to get a three-minute spot. That's how bad it was in Ohio. So I bought an amp and a microphone and just did it myself in my living room just to practice my voice and practice the jokes in between. Now, that was an awful idea for

when I actually went on stage. It almost felt like I was... You remember the guy that came on Kill Tony one time. There was a comedian in episode maybe 20 or 30 something right in the middle and he once came on and he goes well I have a comedy album we go he goes well this is my first time on stage and we're like okay but he goes but I have my own comedy album out on iTunes and we're like

what and he did it so quick he brought it up during the actual thing and what he did was is he sat in front of his computer just saying things that he thought were funny with an echo effect. So there's no laughter from an audience because there's no live track. He's just bombing. It sounds like he's bombing. Do you remember Seamus that worked at the comedy store?

He put out an album that he recorded with a laugh track. There's nothing worse than a laugh track. Yeah, no, that's the worst. I just can't watch those normal TV network sitcoms where it's like, hey, what are you doing? Oh, nothing? So funny, so funny.

Keep watching NBC. So hilarious. Please don't go find what your sense of humor actually wants anywhere else. All that you need is here on NBC. And you know who has the best laugh tracks? If you ever listen to XM radio, like Sirius Radio, the classic radio,

like those old shows like George Burns and Lucille Ball, all that stuff. We were listening to it on the way down here, right? Like My Favorite Husband or whatever. Oh, sure. No one listens to that, Tiffany. Well, I do, okay? I like classic radio because back in the day, I was a gay male choreographer,

and I used to choreograph dance routines for them old bitches when we did the movies. This looks like something really interesting here. Put your hands together for, I haven't seen this before, Evil Tony Hinchcliffe. Wow. Evil Tony Hinchcliffe. Evil Tony Hinchcliffe.

The trend, the records are spinning again and again and again. Wait a second. First of all, how dare you insinuate I can only come up and do one minute. So I will do my whole minute about how I don't want to do one minute. Congratulations to all of you for witnessing the real, evil Tony Hinchcliffe. Watkins, nice ass. You're built like an action figure. Just back and then legs.

Red Band did his show in his own apartment in Ohio with no audience. And I was the first headliner. Oh my god. Nine years later, Red Band, you play an animal sound and I'm gonna jump over there at you like a tornado of fists and teeth. Are we going to judge that or what?

Evil Tony Hinchcliffe, everybody. It's Jason Tebow. It's not. He wishes. He wishes. Oh, you son of a bitch. You're going to pay for that. Catch Jason on Thunder Pussy up next, guys. Thunder Pussy up next. Thunder Pussy.

Put your hands together for your next San Diego comedian. It's Vince D'Amica. Vince D'Amica, everybody. Are you ready? I'm better than a duck, cause Ice Cube is crazy as fuck. As I leave, believe I'm stumped. Oh yeah, Vince D'Amico, everybody. You ready? Hey, everyone. My name is Vince D'Amico. As you can see, I'm very disabled. But I'm not one of those motivational, inspirational type of handicapped guys.

The kind that say the things like, oh, you believe in yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. Keep on trucking or whatever. I don't know what other handicapped people say. I don't hang out with any because they're gross. And let's be honest, even when they're being inspirational, it's still pretty depressing. I'm not going to tell you how you should or shouldn't feel about my injury, but what I will do is give you the list I've compiled over the last seven years about the good things about being in a wheelchair

number one on the list I haven't stubbed my toe in fucking forever forever it's been nice that's all I have for the list so far I love it. I love it. Vince D'Amica.

He's fucking hilarious. That was very inspirational. I want to give him a lap dance. Keep the mic. We're going to talk to you for a second. No, keep the mic. Man, that was amazing. You were really on a roll there. Jesus. Jesus.

Jesus. No, seriously. Very, very, very funny, Vince. How long have you been doing stand-up? A year and a half, about four mics a week. Oh, awesome. Wow. That's what's up.

You seem so comfortable offstage. Totally made me moist offstage. Well, that's amazing. And you hustle around like that. And people come up with excuses on why they only do it a couple times a week. And meanwhile, you're lugging everything there.

That's so cool and inspirational. In a not depressing way. I'm actually going for being the Uncle Tom of handicapped people. So I don't like the word inspiration. Wow. You want to be the Uncle Tom? That is sexy.

That's what he said at the beginning, pretty much. Damn. I totally want to sit on his face. Is your material now all based on your condition? A lot of it is, but I'm trying to, like, my short-term goal is first 10 minutes not even mentioning it, and then the last 10 minutes just brutal, self-deprecating handicapped stuff.

That's great. That's great. I want to open up a nightclub for handicapped people. Yeah, how you feel about that? Sure. I'm gonna call it ramps and rails It's gonna be off the chain You gonna get VIP treatment What else do you talk about in your act what other kind stuff? Well, I actually became disabled on April Fool's Day. Are you serious? How? So I talk about how that sounds like the origin story of a Batman villain. It's funny, man.

Yeah. Fuck, dude. The prank-a-plegic. The prank-a-plegic. What happened? It's really funny. What happened? It's really funny. What happened? Do you talk about it specifically?

I mentioned it. I'm a horrible drunk, and I passed out in the street a block away from my house, and a car came and hit me. Wow. Damn. In the street just laying down? Yeah. Wow. Now, have you been drinking more since the accident?

Absolutely. All right. That's funny, dude. You've got to do this. I'm the guy from Forrest Gump now. It's like, totally want to fuck you, Captain whatever was his name? From Forrest Gump? Lieutenant Dan.

Lieutenant Dan. You want to role play? Absolutely. You ever been with a colored girl before? Yeah. Let's go. I've never had sex with one, but I ate one's pussy once. It tasted good, too. Yeah. There you go. Just like beef brisket, baby.

Yeah, beef brisket. She's considered the Rosa Parks if the back of the bus was sitting on somebody's face. Holy shit. It's hot, yo. Did the person hit you? It's a good looking guy. You look like the fucking guy from Game of Thrones. Yeah.

I'm like, yes! Yes, no! Jon Snow. Jon'm like, yes! Yes, no! Jon Snow. Jon Snow. Fuck yeah! Yeah, dude. Hell, motherfucker, yeah. Did the person hit and run or drag or whatever?

Well, they were in a low rider. Jesus. They were in a low rider, so it was more like a hit and smush. Smush. Oh, low rider. Did they take off, though? No, they stuck around. But it was weird because they said they got in trouble for leaving their kid at the house.

And they said they went to the bank at like 2.30 in the morning and left it there by itself. I don't know. It was weird. Did the insurance from his shit pay you at all? No. How'd that get fucked up? Well, I got a little bit of money, but my lawyer gave me a 25% discount because I got so screwed. And you know when a lawyer does that, when the lawyer's that nice, it's like you got fucked.

Damn. Well, here's the thing. When a lawyer does that, when the lawyer's that nice, it's like you got fucked. Damn. Here's the thing. I've got to say this, Vince. I've known Vince. We grew up together here in San Diego. We've known each other since we were probably 15, 16 years old. He's always been fucking hilarious.

When I walked in here tonight and I saw him, I was like, oh my. I heard that he was doing stand-up. I was like, I can't wait to watch you. And then you happened to be on the show tonight. That makes fucking awesome, Doug. Congratulations. Dude, you're fucking hilarious. Yeah, yeah, extremely. Be proud, man. I'm really amazed that you two guys

know each other because he looks like Jon Snow and you look like Frosty the Snowman. Hell yeah. No, he looks like the other guy from Game of Thrones, the one that's messing with the wildling bitch. The wobbling bitch? No, the wildling. She's a...

Yes, Sam. Sam Farley? Yeah, Tarley. Y'all could be... Is that Chris Farley's brother? Is that what happened? No, his name is Sam Tarley. He's kind of like a coward, but he ain't a coward.

He'd be killing a motherfucking white walker. He's a gangster, this motherfucker. I'm gangster, this motherfucker. but he ain't a coward. He'd be killing the motherfucking White Walkers. He's no coward. He's gangster as motherfucker, but he's scared, though. I'm gangster as motherfucker. But he's sexy, though. Like, ooh, I would suck his titties. It's okay. I'm never going to leave you and your baby. Yeah. I'm never going to leave you and your baby. Yeah, I am. Stephen,

you guys literally look nothing alike. He's just a fat dude. Nuh-uh. Thank you, Jeremiah. I appreciate that. Honesty. Do you go on the road? Do you do road gigs?

I haven't got out of San Diego yet. You haven't got out of San Diego? Well, you're always on the road. That's how I got into this mess. Vince, you are absolutely hilarious. I want to invite you. If you ever come up to L.A., I'd love to put in a word for you. Get you the comedy store. Are you on YouTube? What's your Twitter like? I want to invite you if you ever come up to LA I'd love to put in a word for you get the spots

I would love to see are you on YouTube or what's your Twitter like what's this deal and it's not because of the wheelchair it's because of how literally I think you stole the show tonight so thank you for that he's on Twitter at is it the Danny Swan or the Donny Swan Donny

the Donny Swan one word S-W-A-N the Donny Swan Vince D'Amico-W-A-N. The Donnie Swan. Vince D'Amico, everybody. I want to know if that chair vibrates. Come up to LA and next time we're here, come down again, Vince. That was awesome. Looking forward to it. Vince D'Amico, one more

time, everybody. He could get the business. Fuck yeah. I've only slept with one handicapped dude. I wouldn't mind putting two on him. Really? What was the handicap of the guy you've been with? I mean, he was slow, whatever.

We talked about that already. He was slow? Roscoe? Yeah, Roscoe. Roscoe? Yeah, Roscoe. You slept with a slow guy? Yeah.

How did that happen? What did he do? Did he help you move or something? No, I was working at the airlines and he was my baggage handler. He had one regular arm and one little bitty hook hand. Yeah, that shit was crazy. I slept with a dwarf.

Tony, a little known fact about Roscoe is I played him in a pilot with Tiffany that never got picked up. Well, we never even shot that shit because I ended up getting booked on the Tyler Perry series. Shut the fuck up.

I won't mess with the black queen. It's okay. I'm going to shop it. I'm actually going to show that to Tyler Perry and see what he says about it. Because you did a good job playing a handicapped retarded dude. That was sexy. All right.

Let's try to get one more quick one in. Let's do it. Because we're running out of time. It's already 9.20 here. As always, we apologize to whoever doesn't get up. But we got one more coming up. And he goes by the name of Devin Quinones. I'll be good for you.

And we'll both ride home in Baltimore. I saw an ad on Amazon the other day for a lifetime supply of combs. I opened the box. It was two combs with a letter that said, don't lose them. I think bananas are in abusive relationships because all the bananas I get are bruised. What was the last one? Okay, every time I come to downtown, someone hands me some money. I love that free parking.

I drive around a top hat. It's powered by dice. If I ever roll a three again, I'm going to be late for work. All right, that's all I got. Little Monopoly there at the end by Devin Quinn. How do you say your last name? Quinones. Quinones.

Yeah, it's Mexican. You're 100% Mexican? Half. What's the other half? White. What kind of white? Mutt. I'm just like a bunch of different whites.

Gotcha. A bunch of different whites. It does make sense because your first name is one of the whitest white names, Devin. And my dad was the one who picked it out who's Mexican. Interesting. Yes. Because he didn't want you to sound that Mexican. He didn't want you to get in trouble. Maybe. Call him Devin. And my dad was the one who picked it out who's Mexican. Interesting. Because he didn't want you to sound that Mexican. He didn't want you to get in trouble.

Maybe. Call him Devin. I didn't get that one joke. The parking one. I didn't understand that. Oh, it's like a Monopoly joke. When you land on free parking you get money. Okay. That's my newest one.

Yeah, you need to kind of stress the Monopoly more because I never played Monopoly ever, and I did not get that. But I know now from playing Monopoly in the past, a long time ago, what you're talking about. I mean, you're just doing one-liners, which is, those are fucking hard to write. And that first one you did killed. What was it again? The comb. Yeah, that's a fucking good joke, man.

It's really funny. I think the thing with one-liners, who do you know that's a comic that does one-liners? Like J. Chris Newberg does one-liners, right? Frasier Smith. I know a few of them. Who else? Stephen Wright.

Tom Treason. The Chetberg's dead, sir. Sorry to break the news to you. I don't know if you've heard about that. Dude, I mean, those are hard because, like, you just, it's, you're literally going, like, you're just sailing one line. And then you're, like, you're, like, that one hits, and then you just go, well, these two are fucking garbage.

Or this one, try again, but these two suck, or whatever. I try to do, like, a mostly new set, so it kind of helps that I do one-liners, because then I can just do new jokes, and the ones that fuck up, I just throw away.

Sure. But then the ones that actually kind of work, I can just keep throwing back in. How long have you been doing stand-up? Eight months.

Oh, well, no, since January, so about eight, seven. And how often do you go up? About four, around there. People are working hard down here in San Diego. Yeah, for real. And what do you go up? About four, around there. People are working hard down here. Yeah, for real. What do you do to survive?

What do you mean? My work? Yeah. I'm a host, and then I live with my parents. How old are you? 21. Oh, shit. You could still be molded.

What do you think your parents would say to you if you brought Tiffany back to the house tonight? A drunk Tiffany Haddish who just starts cooking up. My family would probably be cool with it and cook her dinner. They probably would recognize me. We're not going to cook dinner until at least 10 o'clock tonight. Would your girlfriend like some chitlins?

No, she wouldn't. It's more like burritos and stuff. Yeah, I would like a carne asada burrito with extra cheese. I don't think we got carne asada at home. No, I'll have a chicken one then. We have chorizo, I'm pretty sure, tonight. Chorizo? With eggs?

I like your face. Thank you. But you gotta trim the eyebrows all the time, babe. Because that first guy's eyebrows. Yeah, you gotta talk to that first comic. First comic eyebrows, that shit worked. Like, look at his eyebrows,

see, look exactly how big they are, and then just follow them exactly. Yeah, you need to go wherever he gets his eyebrows done at, that's where you need to go.

You're 21, but your eyebrows are 53. Ah! Oh, that's funny. But he has a lot of personality. No, you got a great face. You got good hair. I'm going to need you to do something different with these socks, though,

because your hair on the legs is hanging over them. It's really bothering me. That's my big final piece of advice. I want to just break your legs. No shorts on stage? No shorts on stage. That shit is, yeah, it's distracting. Do I have to wear an advertisement on my shirts too?

I look like an idiot. I know that. Next time I see you wearing cargo shorts like that, there better be a grown man's pair of pants in one of the pockets. Yeah, or do some fucking Australian jokes or something. I've been told that I have an Australian accent for some reason.

But I'm from here. That's the worst Australian accent I've ever heard. You can't really tell that I have an Australian accent. You sound like a lazy Spanish-American to me. Fuck yeah. You definitely look like you got those shorts in the Outback.

I'm talking about the steakhouse. That's where he's a host at. Outback Steakhouse. Really? No. He's the shop. Oh. Yeah.

What place? Where are you a host at? Sammy's. Have you heard of it? Sammy's? Woodfire? I think there's some in LA. The Woodfire Grill?

Oh, sure. Oh, sure. Employee of the Month this year. Whoa! Give him a round of applause. How'd you do that? And stop it. How did you get Employee of the Month?

Work hard. That's your Spanish side? Yeah, that's Spanish side, and I was a dishwasher before. Of course. I don't want to downgrade. So you went from dishwasher to host? Yes. That's what's up.

I need a dishwasher in my house. You know what? I'm about to be real rich in like nine months. And I said to myself, I'm going to get me a man. He ain't got to pay no rent, no light bill, nothing. All I want you to do is when I come home, you need to be a different character from black history.

I don't want to know you. I want to know George Washington Carver. You can get her, man. You go home, study BET, do your research. Sounds like a lot of work for some pussy. Yeah, but he don't have to pay no rent. You live for

free. Oh, no rent. No rent. There he goes. Devin Quinones. I'm Malcolm X. Devin Quinones. Guys, this is the part of the show where ever since the beginning of the show, we've had two regulars that come on and do 60 seconds each week. We brought them down from Los Angeles.

You guys ready for them? Yeah. Going up first tonight, you know her as a regular on both Kill Tony and the Dysentery podcast. Always goofy. Always fun. It's the princess, Sarah Weinshank, everybody. Whoa.

Here she is. What's up? Yeah. I got dumped on Christmas this year. It's funny, right? I was just sitting on the couch listening to Jingle Bell Rock crying while eating peppermint bark and also watching YouTube tutorials on how to get my ex back. He never came back. He was a hipster, which at first I thought was cool. Like I thought he was like a badass LA hipster but then I realized after the fog cleared that the only thing that I thought was badass was

just stupid like he would just steal Polaroid film all the time from Urban Outfitters and at first I'm like yeah he's fucking a renegade well then I got some some clarity and I'm like this guy is stealing Polaroid film and I'm into him he spent months searching for the perfect vintage glass water bottle he took longer to get ready than me and right before we broke up

he got his spirit animal tattooed on his chest it was a coyote before we broke up, he got his spirit animal tattooed on his chest. It was a coyote. Okay, there you go. Looks like somebody's getting their revenge for getting dumped on Christmas, huh? Yeah. Really venting it all out there. Who was this douchebag? I don't want to say.

Say it! I don't want to say it. We want names. We want... It was Tony Hinchcliffe I'll release it later I'm not ready I'm not ready to do it Let's talk about this asshole This really happened huh

Yes this all really happened And what do you think made him break up with you over Christmas It was because Of something I said What did you say Called him Can I say it It was because of something I said. What did you say? Called him. Can I say it?

Yeah. What? Well, I called him a faggot. Oh, that's right. Because he was looking like Botox. Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't know if I should say it. I don't know if I should say it.

Patriot has never heard that kind of language. Maybe you don't know if you should say it. I don't know if I should say it. Breaking news here. That's right. We're reporting live. It's just in. Someone in this building. Yeah.

All right. We're already balls deep into it. You got to get in there. Tell us the truth. I don't know if I should. Enough of that. Let's just get into it. Okay.

Well, this is what happened. He was bitching because he had a lot of work to do all the time. Non-stop. What does he do for work? Film. Sucking dick. Editing. Film editing.

But, like, major films? No. Gay films. Like web series. They can't afford to pay the other guy, so they're calling him. So then what happened? So then he was bitching about how he had all this work to do. And I went to the bathroom, and I came out of the bathroom, and he was lookinging about how he had all this work to do and I went to the bathroom and I came

out of the bathroom and he was looking up bow ties and I was like why are you looking up bow ties like uh instead of doing your work and then he said you're so mean and then he broke up with me on Christmas

because he became Muslim he's selling big pies now. Yeah, I mean. Wear bow ties. Potential faggot alert. I get the feeling that wasn't the only thing that happened.

Yeah, obviously there had to be other stuff. I wanted to talk more about the spare animal tattoo, but I didn't time it right. Now, was it really Christmas when he broke up with you? Yes. And why did it upset you so much? Did you really, really like this guy?

I mean, yeah, I dated him for two years. My family was like, where's your boyfriend? I'm like, yeah, he's gone. He's in Joshua Tree trying to find himself. That's funny. On Christmas. Sounds like a character from Orange is the New Black Yeah

He was actually In a guy named Joshua He was in Joshua the Tree I think you're better off Really Just because you said About like Was there anything else

Was you like Man you need to make more money He was sick of me He was just sick of me You know what I mean Right That was just like The icing on the cake

He's like finally And out The icing on the cake. He's like, finally, and out. The icing on the cake was that bow tie. Yeah, that happens in relationships where you're like, oh, please say something fucked up so I can leave you. Yeah. Right. Just want to leave now.

Right. Yeah. It's like your breath stinks. Good. I don't want to be with your ass anyway. My breath stinks every fucking morning. It's over. Well, can you imagine dating her?

It's probably just like her yelling and bitching about every single thing. She sits down. It's like, goddamn couches with the chairs and the cushions. Every little thing bothers the hell out of Sarah. It's true. I don't believe that. If you get to meet her after the show, you'll notice that if anybody that she knows is around, she'll meet you and she'll shake your hand and then she'll look to the person that she

knows and like, oh, look at this moron. She looks like a tough girl, but you know deep down she's a big old softie. Yeah, she has a big heart. She's got a big old gushy softie. I know her well enough to know that she likes to color and she's a sweetheart. Yeah, I do. I like to color. She does.

We color in coloring books together when we play like we're little girls. Yeah. What a bunch of faggots. Let's talk about sex and color. Yo mama a faggot. It's true. My mom is a faggot. Hey, easy guys.

Come on. Come on, guys. I didn't say that about my mom. We're three blocks from Hillcrest. All right? Your mom's not a faggot. Be respectful. No.

She likes peanuts. I got to get laid tonight. Let's talk about dead animals again, guys. No. Good job, Sarah. No, good job. Sarah, you ever kill an animal? No, not yet. A spirit animal?

Well, one that was already dead. You ever kill a man's spirit? Yes. Yeah, I think my spirit animal would be like a snail. Why do you think that? Just chilling. And with that, Sarah Weinshank, thank you so much. It's Princess Shank on Twitter.

She's beautiful, you guys. She killed it tonight. She almost killed us driving here. Turns out, fun fact about Sarah, if you're ever in a car with her, she doesn't use her mirrors or turn her head. Good luck on the lane switches with good old Sarah Weinshank. I love Sarah Weinshank, no homo. I heard that she uses the left for

the gas and the right for the brake. Or the vice versa. Yeah, to be honest with you, I'd rather let Vince D'Amico drive me home than Sarah Weinshank. I'd rather ride with him, just fucking flint-stoning and pedaling with my legs.

Just sit on his lap. He got the motor. Your final comedian of the night, a college dropout after she appeared on Kill Tony for a very first time. She just had a couple semesters to finish at Florida University. And instead, she stayed in Hollywood and has been doing a new minute every single week since her first time on stage. It is Kimberly Congdon everybody. Woo! Thank you guys. So glad to be here tonight. Mostly because I also drove a Sarah.

So I'm happy I made it. My name's Kim, everybody. I'm 23 years old. And I feel like somebody else has gone through this. Has anybody had a mother go through menopause, midlife crisis? Hell yeah. Right?

Some crazy shit. They say that they kind of, you know, they go back in time, they act younger. My mom started acting like a kid. It was kind of weird. I had to put my mom down for a nap one time. She was misbehaving. She's also...

We're not getting along right now. I'm a little upset with her because she's got a new boyfriend. Like I said, I'm 23. He's 25. I know. It's like, Mom, he's just getting out of diapers and you're going into them not okay she's like you know I've raised my kids I've done my job and I'm like you have to raise another one now doesn't make sense like what do you what is so good about a 25 year old you know

she told me she had a boyfriend and she had him on a leash. I thought she was being controlling, but I guess it's one of those baby leashes. Okay. Thanks. Girl, that could be funny. Tiffany, I heard you making some noise. I think you're going to defend the 25-year-old dick, right? Hell yeah!

Girl, you could do a lot with 25-year-old dick. Your mama know what she doing. She's going to get booked all night. I know. That's what I said, too. No matter how much I hate the guy, he's still fucking my mom. I can't say anything. You said hate the guy?

Yeah. Why would you hate him? Because there's a lot more to it. Do you feel like you should be dating him? No. He's a fucking loser. Well, then let your mom sit on that dick and enjoy herself. It's hard to go against that.

It's hard to be like, it's easier to be like, yeah. It's hard to go against it? Yeah, it's hard and material to be like, oh yeah, fuck my mom dating a young guy. As opposed to being like, yeah, my mom's dating a young guy and it's good because she should be getting. There are more details to it that make him not such a good young guy, but I didn't know if it was too personal. Like what? Like the fact that

he was in rehab for being addicted to Xanax and my mom's prescribed Xanax. And I'm like, you don't see why he's with you? So your mom is controlling him, basically. That's her jump off that she controls. No, I think she just really likes him because he's a good looking guy and she's going through this whole thing and

he acts like he likes her, but looking from the outside, you're like, no, I see what you're doing. He's just getting dope off of her. Yeah. So she's pimping him. Maybe. Your mom's going to be dating a 25 year old no matter what. I met her this weekend and she's one of those

super cougar people. I can tell she's hot. Look at her what. I met her this weekend. She's one of those super cougar. I can tell she's hot. Look at her ass. Look at her body. I can tell your mom is the shit. Your mom's going to be banging a 25-year-old no matter what. You don't see ass like that too often on females like you. I'm just saying. That's a nice ass.

Like you came from Georgia or something, girl. Let them see your ass so that we know where it's from. Florida booty. Let them see that ass. Turn around. Let them see your ass so that we know where it's from. Florida, boo. Let them see that ass. Turn around. Let them see your ass. Have you ever seen anything like that in San Diego? Yeah, that's nice.

She read it. That ain't no joke. That's a real ass. Kimberly's turd cutter. Hey, Tony. The only place you can see an ass like that in San Diego is at SeaWorld. What? That doesn't make any sense.

That doesn't make any sense. Thank you, Kimberly Congdon. She's on Twitter. Hey, you were funny. Great job. Thank you so much. Awesome. She. Thank you, Kimberly Congdon. Hey, you were funny. Great job. Thank you so much. Awesome. She's on Twitter, Kimberly Congdon. Jeremiah Watkins.

That's too late. Thank you. Oh, I blew it. Jeremiah Watkins, he's on Twitter. It's Jeremiah's stand-up. Thank you so much for being the patron. Up next, Dr. Pepe Hitcho. Everybody you see here is going to be on it.

The great Stephen Glickman. Is Stephen Glickman on Twitter? At Stephen Glickman on the Twitter. And hey, if you're at Comic-Con tomorrow, come and see me on Podcrash with Chris Gore and Judah Freelander. 7 o'clock. Yeah, check me out on Twitter at Tiffany Haddish. That's Tiffany like the diamonds, hat and dish, keep the two Ds.

And also you can check me out September the 9th on a new drama with Tyler Perry called If Loving You Was Wrong on the OWN Network. And Oprah's my new mom. She just adopted me. What? Oh, no, she didn't. She didn't, but I'll put it in the universe. Ryan Redman, thank you as always.

Thank you, guys. Live audience. You did it. History. I'm in heaven. Woo! See you guys. Thank you so much. Stick. I'm in heaven. See you guys. Thank you so much.

Stick around for Thunder Pussy. We'll be right back. The nature of hysteria is calling out to idiot America. You can take over the sound. Thank you. you