KILL TONY - KT #461 – QUARANTINED #16

Episode Date: July 3, 2020

David Lucas, William Montgomery, Michael Lehrer, Joel Jimenez, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 06/29/2020 THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Visit AdamandEve.com and get 50% off just about any item plus 10 FREE GIFTS! when use our special promo code [killtony] — Use code “KILLTONY” at checkout! POSTMATES.COM – For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS of free delivery credit for your first SEVEN days. To start your free deliveries, download the app and use code “KILLTONY”.

Hey, this is Red Band and you are listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website desksquad.tv. There you have every past episode of Kill Tony, including video portions to the shows. You can also click on tour dates to find out where we're at next. We have a bunch of news shows being rescheduled every day, so check it out. I know that Miami, Florida is going to be July 31st through August 1st, then we have Skankfest Houston, it's been moved to September 25th through the 26th. Then we have Kill Tony Mania, it returns to Sacramento October 14th and 15th, San Francisco

for Kill Tony Mania 16th, 17th and 18th, and then Tacoma, Washington has been moved October 30th through the 31st. Go to desksquad.tv and click on tour dates for the latest updates. Go to TonyHinchCliff.com, that's the official website of Tony HinchCliff and he has tour dates and he has merch there. Go to TonyHinchCliff.com. Ryan J. Ebelt, he is the house artist, he draws every episode, he drew the book, he has posters and he has a huge sale going on right now, so go to RyanJEbelt.com.

And last but not least, ShopSquad.tv, that's the official merchandise of the Desquad universe and you also have the Kill Tony shirt there, go to ShopSquad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Band coming to you live from Desquad Studios for a brand new episode of Kill Tony, here's Tony HinchCliff. Yay, hello everybody, where is it that one? Hello, hello everyone, look at this, we're so good to be here. We are live in one of Red Band's many bathrooms, this is very exciting, this is what it's

come to, this is the new era of Kill Tony, sure we did theaters and massive venues. And here we are now, everyone, we are in the backseat of a Tesla live streaming Kill Tony, this is what it's come to. We are one step away from being street performers, actually that might be the next move, we might be doing Kill Tony live on the streets. We might just have to go to a park and just set up some amps, that might not even be a bad idea. We got to start improvising because this shit is stressing me out.

Every week we have a different studio now, I didn't even think we were going to have a show this week because you were out of town with Rogan and I was like, shit, what are we going to do? Yeah, no, I was back on Saturday night, this new Rogan life is pretty good. We went from being on stage to Houston to being- Yeah, how was that? Because it's been, what, three months? It was unbelievable.

It was the fucking greatest thing ever, I can't really, I don't know how to describe it. It's like doing what you love to do more than anything and then not doing that, which you did every day or every night forever for 13 years and then taking three and a half months off and then doing it at a great place, Houston, Texas, the record-holding city for one of my favorite places to go on the road, but record-holding for most ever killtonies on the road and, you know, they just fucking get it out there. Texas gets it, they always have, I've always gone there quite a few times a year and so

it was a fucking blast. The first set, you know, figuring shit out, you know, because stand-ups weird, it's not like a script that you memorize, you're sort of feeling it and there were some parts where I was doing, you know, I mixed in a lot of new stuff, there's also parts where the confusing part was doing some of the old jokes that I had well tightened up before and I was doing the set-ups for them, like I was saying them into the microphone without really knowing what I was going to say next, like it's like I remembered the set-ups and had to- Did it make you write something new, like, oh, I didn't even think about this?

Oh yeah, a lot of new stuff, a lot of very fun new stuff, improvising off of Joe's Spotify deal and some Crystallia material, believe it or not, stuff I wouldn't do on a podcast I do during my stand-up, so. How did that work out? Really, really, really well. Turns out people like new, fresh, topical fucking, whatever, stupid shit, so yeah, it was a blast. Here we are, the great Brian Redban, of course, Death Squad Studios and we have a special

guest, David Lucas is here, everybody. Yeah, what's up, y'all? I'm glad that you're here because you know, as you know, we always talk about dildos and booty holes with you and I don't know if you know this, but I've been getting a lot of dildos and booty holes lately and this episode is brought to you by Adam and Eve, the number one adult toy superstore. Adam and Eve says the best part of staying at home is playing at home. Toys for men, toys for women, couples toys, every kind of lube and lotion, lingerie and

so many other sexy gifts. I actually used it, I bought something for my girlfriend and it was cool, it was easy to use, they have everything and that this discount coupon code that we have took a lot off the amount that we had, they have vibrators, they have lube, they have adult movies if you want that and it gets shipped to you in a box so that your neighbors don't know what you're getting and it was awesome because I can't wait to show you, maybe I'll bring it to the next Kill Tony what I bought her. It's a good thing they put it in a box, it'd be weird if they had, it'd be weird if they

had like a clear dildo shaped container. Well, it just doesn't say Adam and Eve on the outside of it, so like, you know, people don't. Discrete. No, of course, you should all take advantage of the downtime right now and choose almost any one item and get 50% off at AdamandEve.com with the code Kill Tony. When you do, you'll also get 10 free boredom busting gifts including 6 spicy movies, a 3-piece bonus kit and the best of all free shipping delivered discreetly to your door.

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If you're like me, you love postmates. We love food, you love postmates, but I love them more than ever right now because of course you don't have to leave the house delivered straight to the door with what's going on in the world. They have created non-contact deliveries, so now when I order from local restaurants everything gets left right outside my door. Yeah, and they also have postmates pick up, which I didn't even know was a thing and I used it the other day, which is great because you could order from your favorite restaurants

and you're supporting your neighborhood places. I know that there's a few places in Burbank here where I've been reading that they might go out of business and it's very depressing, so now you could go on postmates and you could pick it up right there and postmates doesn't deliver just burgers and sushi, they actually make my life easier by picking up everything I need from Walgreens and 7-Eleven and dropping it off right outside my door. That's great. Now they just drop it off, they take a photo and then they send you a message like, hey,

it's out front. Just download Postmates on iOS or Android, find your favorites and get anything you want delivered within an hour. Anything you want. I've been getting, we all know Vitos gives us pizza every single week. It is incredible and I've become recently addicted to their chicken parm sandwich and I get it delivered straight to my door. Sometimes I'll swing by, say hi to Charlie at the shop on Santa Monica, but near Santa

Monica. Yeah, so anyway, for a limited time Postmates is giving our listeners $100 of free delivery for your first seven days. To start your free deliveries, download the app and use the code Kill Tony, that's Kill Tony for $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days when you download the Postmates app. Anything you need, any time you need it, Postmate it. Good to be here, exciting stuff.

Let's get the show started. We have a band on this show. Every single week they commit to being different characters. This is a tight studio tonight. We are all very close together, so let's see what characters they are tonight. I present to you the best band in the land, Jeremiah Watkins and Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez, everyone. Here we go.

Uh-oh. I haven't heard this music before. This should be interesting. Uh-oh. Oh. Oh my goodness. Wow. Okay.

This is very exciting. I absolutely know who these two are, even though it's their first time on the show. I definitely know who these guys are from the hit video game and movie. Mortal Kombat, ladies and gentlemen, it is without a doubt Raiden and Sub-Zero. Am I correct? You're right about this guy, but not me. Oh, who are you? I'm the newest Mortal Kombat character.

I am the Coro Ninja. Is that a real thing? Yeah. We've had so many fatalities. They decided to add me to the game. Oh. Okay. You really could have just been Sub-Zero, but it just rolled to that.

I mean, I fight till the death for a living, and I'm pretty scared being in this tight little space right now. Let me tell you. I mean, Sub-Zero is such a famous historical character, what like he freezes people. What's your special move? Stay over there. Oh. Oh, are these- Social distance.

Wait, are these special like Corona versions of? Just me. But right before the show started, David accidentally spit in my eye, so I'm pretty sure I have it now. Okay. Black people can't get that shit. Oh my God. This is Raiden and totally not Will Forte.

Wait a second. What? What is not? It's totally not Will Forte. Wow. I started working at Trader Joe's, oh my God. I am so confused. I don't know what's happening, but you really have to know Will Forte really well to lock

down on this one. Are you Will Forte? Is Will Forte playing Raiden? I'm a little bit- Listen, as I said, I'm totally Raiden, not Will Forte. Okay, so, interesting stuff, again, could have just been Raiden, but I guess you're Will Forte. I wish you could see my giant smile underneath this mask, Tony.

Okay. What a creative way to wear a mask by the way. That's great. Yeah. All right, so we're here with Raiden being played by Will Forte and some brand new Mortal Combat characters. Coro Ninja. Coro, I'm not even going to write it down.

It's not even worth me writing this. Stay over there. Okay. All right, I will. This is the closest we've ever been in Kill Tony history. Yes, it is. This is where we are doing the opposite of what we're supposed to be doing during a pandemic. Oh yeah, I forgot to turn on the second air purifier.

All right, brought an extra air purifier. Did that go on? Hey, there it is. Yeah. All right. This is fun. I have remote control and an air purifier, everybody. Okay, so let's get this thing rolling.

We're here. We got everyone in this fucking room, ladies and gentlemen, your first comedian that we're going to watch a minute submission before has been on this show before. He has blown our minds with his previous technical abilities. We liked him, so we told him anytime he wants to send in, again, he can. Ladies and gentlemen, your first submission comes to us from Drew Williamson. Here we go. Here's a little music first.

I'll come up and run away, run away, run away, run away, run away, run away, run away, run away, run away. There you go. There it is. Drew Williamson. We're having a great year here at I Mean Mine. Our product lines of aquarium decorations and houseplant GPS locators have redefined the tech sector.

Today is the introduction of our super top secret project. We showed this to a group of investors who said, and I quote, we don't know what we're looking at. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to VI Sharp. The most loud, powerful, wood, over-engineered pencil sharpener the world has ever seen. Let's see how it works. Simple boot-up process, easy to carry, five-step remote. Let's see how it does, keep the RPMs up, drop it in the easy to find receptacle.

Looks like we're almost ready. Ladies and gentlemen, we have done it. There it is. This is what our show is now, everybody. This is what our show is now. We went from, we started the year with, I believe, 1,900 people in a theater in Vancouver, and this is where we're at now. We are now in a closet with one another.

I've always been in the closet, but now all my friends are with me. There you go. I'll beat Joel to that joke. Who's Joel? I'll beat Coro Ninja. So stupid I remembered the name. Underwear headman. I think it looks very nice.

Here we are. Drew Williamson is joining us. Hi, Drew. I'm good. How is everybody? We're good, man. We're good. We're hanging in there.

Everything's great. Totally not about to have a fucking meltdown. Meltdowns with Tony. Yes. So, Drew, that was awesome. As silly and as dumb as it absolutely was. That's what we love here right now. How are you doing, Drew?

What's been happening in your world? Not much, really. We are just running through the video games. All the free ones that we could find. We made our first purchase recently for my son, but it's a different world. We are gearing up for I Got a Letter from my bosses on Broadway. They're estimating anywhere from Thanksgiving to Christmas

to start opening things up. I actually read a thing today that said Broadway is planning on not reopening until January 2021. Did you read that at all? I haven't seen that update. I literally read that today. Broadway, yeah. No, I know, man.

We were, I was literally, I don't know if, I mean, doesn't matter, but I was talking, that's how fast things move now is I was talking with someone about the potential of the comedy store and being back there in some form or another. And during the phone call with the higher ups at the comedy store yesterday, literally while I was on a conference call with all of them,

they found out that the mayor of Los Angeles closed all bars and completely held everything up. So news changes quickly right now in this shit whole time that we're living in. I was so mad because I was going to the comedy store had open Friday night, the patio, and that you could sit outside and have drinks. And I was like, you know what, I should go to that.

You know, I'll just wait. You know, Tony's gonna be back Sunday. Maybe I'll just go hang out with Tony. And then the next day they closed it. I was like, fuck. I mean, I knew it was just all too good to be true. First of all, I knew they would reopen when I was on the road.

I knew that for a fact, because that's how it always works. And they did. They announced it on Friday when I was leaving and it was open on Friday and Saturday or whatever. It was just Saturday actually. Yeah. And yeah, so.

There is good news. I got an email today. They're opening as a restaurant Thursday. What? Thank God, nothing more I crave than restaurant food from the comedy store. Perfect time for Coro Ninja to speak over you, David. Can you explain one more time?

Did I mention I fight to the death for a living? So they're gonna open as a restaurant Thursday. Oh, that's cool. Okay, well, that's great news. And before that, if you need any grocery needs that's come on over to Trader Joe's, they'll help you out. So I was, I'm the same boy as Tony. I was like, damn, I'm on the road and they announced that day.

So literally that's how fast. I mean, remember that what started this conversation is how fast news changes. And as I'm talking about them opening and then closing, I find out live in front of everyone that they're opening Thursday as a restaurant. I got that like an hour ago. They're just close.

Hey, Drew, what was that machine that, was there a actual purpose for that machine that you are showing us? Yeah, so the wood frame of that unit was, it's actually a router tool for woodworking. And my wife and son helped me just stack all the electronic pieces that we could find around the house just to make it as ridiculous looking as possible.

So yeah, I got a little bit of artistic help from the family on that one. And they were also in charge of throwing crap on me during the shoot. So that was a fun afternoon just the other day. I love that. That's so cool. You seem like you're the cool kind of nerd, am I right?

I would like to say so, but you know, definitely in the nerd range. Let me ask you this, cause I love it when, you know, when you have somebody that seems like one thing but has sort of a wild side to you. Adam and Eve has a bunch of deals going on right now with the promo code kill Tony. If you were to use a toy, or maybe you do use a toy

with your wife in the bedroom, what would that toy be? Oh, LEGO is for sure. How many LEGOs can she fit? Yeah. Are we talking about the big ones for like little kids? We talking about those giant LEGOs or? Yeah, the Duplo, the bigger blocks for little kids. Uh-huh.

Yeah. I used to have buckets of those things. Yeah. I remember Lincoln Logs. Those things were fun too. No, you're much older than me. That's the 10 year. That's the Lincoln Logs.

I had Lincoln Logs growing up. But I'm a million years old. I'm fricking raiding. You guys remember building brick cabins? You guys remember construction? Red Band was alive when Lincoln's actual logs were being built. He played Lincoln Logs with Abraham. Right, Red Band called him.

He called an ambulance when Lincoln got shot. Not even Abraham Lincoln, Abraham from the Bible. That's what, that's who Red Band played. Talk about the fucking guy shot by John Wilkes Booth. Now I'm curious, am I the oldest guy in the building right now? Because I just turned 49. Last week.

Wow. You got Red Band beat by four years. Six months. Okay. And you look good to be 49. And you have an R2-D2 shirt on. Oh, thanks very much. Little hair gel and lotion, you know?

That's what it is. So that's fun, Drew. How old is your son? He's 12. And he's edging towards teenager by every minute. Every time we have a discussion, it's a little more edgy. Oh, he's into edging. That's interesting.

If you were black, your kid would be 30. No, no, no. What's that? If you were black, your kid would be 30. Because they have kids at a younger age. Hell yeah. I thought he was gonna say three, like 49. How long you been with your wife, Drew?

We're coming in on 19 years in August. Wow, how long were you with her before you got married? We met in grad school. So we were friends for a few years and she went away to Korea. And I guess she did major makeovers because she came back pretty scorching hot. Wow.

So that's when I decided to kind of rearrange my schedule for my design career and make a little more time for her. So yeah, but we've been together the whole time. The first time you hooked up with her, how fast did you come? You seem like the kind of guy that would be pulling it out of your pants and it just starts shooting all over the room.

Like, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm out of here. A lot of nights are, oh, you're ready. Oh, Drew, what else you been doing during this quarantine to stay busy? Any other fun hobbies or anything? I've made a major deal out of cleaning the house and my wife was excited for me to be doing more videos

and being recognized for it. But she said to me, the only thing that she's really worried about is that all the house cleaning is gonna stop. So I have to just get up and vacuum as soon as I turn off the broadcast. Wow, what a bitch you are, Drew. Oh my goodness.

Great shit. Wow. All right, well, that's fun though. How about the sun? Why don't you get the sun to learn how to do some chores around that house? Yeah, does he have chores? I've always wondered about that.

Are you allowed to give chores nowadays? Yeah, so I'm working them up towards as many chores as I'm hoping he gets up and tells me he's gonna do them. But it's always a good five minute discussion before the chores starts. But he hates vacuuming already. So he's growing up perfectly. He's learning the ropes.

Yeah, that's about right. When I was a kid, I hated vacuuming too. I hated vacuums like new dogs hate vacuums. I hated mowing the lawn. I thought that was the worst. I mean, worst in any- Power lawnmower or the push kind? Yeah, push kind.

And we had a big yard. You're running over Lincoln logs out there. I did it with scissors. Yeah, just in the metal blade one. I hated whitewashing fences back in the day. That's what I really hated. You did that, Raiden? Yeah, I'm a million years old, silly.

Oh. Oh, yes. Drew, before I let you go, is there anything else crazy about you that we would find very interesting? From such a, you seem like you have it all put together. You seem like a good human being. You seem like you're very proper.

Like you have your, like you keep your toothbrush and your toothpaste like a perfect distance from one another and everything like that. Like you seem very, very well put together. Is there anything that would surprise us about you? Oh, man. I always hated this question that you would ask other people. I don't know.

I'm pretty much as you see it. Yeah, right. But do you have like a- But yeah, I would say the craziest thing I've ever done is this. Sending in a video, making a comedy thing. And definitely my first appearance at the Gramercy with you guys,

was probably, that was just so amazing. What a flood of emotion. I love that. Just amazing. That is fun. So you are, you really are how you appear to be. I was just trying to branch out. Yeah, nothing weird about me.

The camera accidentally zooms out. He's like choking his wife during this interview. Shut the hell up. Go to bed. Whoa, look at that. I'm not gonna vacuum tonight. Tonight's my night to be a murderer. Screw the dishes.

This dude's a murderer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it, Drew. Well, thanks for your submission. It's always fun. Again, you have an open invitation. You're a silly, silly, nerdy guy. I like your style.

There he goes, Drew Williams. Great. Thanks very much, everybody. I love you, Drew. Thank you, Drew. All the way, all the way, this is the way. Fuck yeah, here we are onto our second comedian. I still haven't killed myself tonight.

This is very exciting. Ladies and gentlemen, your second submission coming up here in just a moment is coming from a man who has, we met him before the pandemic and meanwhile, during the pandemic, he grew to become one of the very famous characters on the show.

He has, we've seen him interview Mexican prostitutes. We have seen him up the ante from there and interview Mexican transgender prostitutes. And now he is back. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a submission from Manolo after this little bit of music here. Hello, darkness, my old friend. Oh, God.

I've come to talk with you again. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Manolo. And now, a music video world premiere. Take that, take that, take that. What's up, mother fucker? It's the mother fucker, baby, baby, baby. Ryan Betpeck. Ryan Betpeck.

Ryan Betpeck. Ryan Betpeck. Ryan Betpeck. Ryan Betpeck. And remember, black lives matter. Don't speak to me in that tone. What do you mean, what tone? That skin tone.

What? Oh my goodness, he covered Manolo, ladies and gentlemen. I've come to talk with you again. Incredible. Wow, Manolo has covered Michael Lair's hit song from a couple weeks ago, Ryan Bedpan. Hello, Manolo, can you hear her?

What I gotta, what I gotta, what I gotta, what I gotta mean? Oh my goodness, you are living the high life down there in Tijuana. You know it is. Pull your head back a little bit. She's got a little nipple popping out over there. Look at that. That's one of my favorite.

Catalina Baskins back in the house. Hey. Wow, what's up? Fuck yeah, hello. Mexican prostitutes to the max, baby. Oh my goodness, that one to your left looks like she's questioning her life right now. Okay.

She's only got some Mariola sticking out there. Keep her off the screen until she puts that away. Have her lift her up. God damn. Damn, does it look like you're having fun right now? Have her put her. Yeah. Oh my God.

Yeah, totally. Yes. I asked her if she knew how to speak English and this is what she said. I was like, let's do this. Say this. You what I gotta, what I gotta, what I gotta, what I gotta mean? That's what she said.

You guys, I don't know anyone who has thrived more during this pandemic than you, Manolo. It's literally, when we were at the comedy store we were going through, you know what I mean? Our business was booming and you were sort of, you know, you weren't at rock star status yet.

You were sort of coming up through the ranks and now you're an absolute assassin. You have beautiful girls around you. You guys are obviously having the time of your life except for the girl to your left again. She seems a little bit miserable. She has no idea what I'm saying so that's actually perfect.

Manolo, you look like Spam Tripoli. Aw man, you beat me to it. Go ahead Manolo. Yeah man, I love it dude. I should have hit you up when I was in San Diego, bro. I'm telling you guys, I'm telling you. Hey, yo, I got a quick statement to make. First of all, I didn't know if it was going to be relevant

because the Ryan Bedpan because I thought it was great. Michael Larris is in a mosh so shout out to Michael Larris because I think he kicked ass that night and I had to do that remix, that motherfucking remix. Maybe one time we could do it, do the video but both of us, with all these chicks, right? Absolutely dude, absolutely, I love it. You guys look like you're having a blast.

It looks like you and the girl on the left are on Molly and the one behind you is coming down from Molly. It's very exciting. I love the comments that you always have when the girl that is not me. Exactly. Hey, can you tickle the grumpy girl for me? I just want to see her smile a little.

Yeah, look. Actually, she's waiting on Santa the last time. She did. She's... Yeah. Yeah. Fiesta. She just, her baby just fell out.

Not the dunk-a-dunk, but dunk-a-drunk, baby. My god. I got a quick statement, Tony. Yes, go ahead. Line in bed, line in bed alone, wearing a condom is the same shit as driving in your car wearing a face mask. I have to say it, sorry.

Hey, you know what, I like that. That's a pretty smart take. That's some pimp shit. You're absolutely right, Manolo. Again, you have become a genius during this pandemic. It is incredible. Thank you very much, Tony.

Thank you very much. And yeah, we're here. You know, we're going to be here. Actually, we're going to go on a shower break today. Oh, okay. There you go. And where can people find you if one of us wants to maybe

have an open up their phone later? Red Band's asking for a friend. Gianni Versace. Oh, God, you guys spell that for us. Like Gianni Versace, but Sanchez. Oh, okay. Gianni. Gianni Versace.

So it's G-I-A-N-N-I-S-A-N-C-H-E-Z. Yes, sir. All right. Well, there you go. You're going to have one more subscriber tonight. Go ahead. I was wondering if I could try a sort of William Montgomery type joke.

Yep. It kind of works. Yep. Go right ahead. Okay. So, so fuck you and yourself support. I pay shit, but Mr. Jackson, we can't say that.

Okay. And we'll just say Billy Jean. Oh, that was a good one. Yeah. Yeah. What's up with that? Basura. This is chaos.

And I sort of love it. Oh, my God. What has this show become? God damn. I have never... Oh, my... Okay. All right, bro.

Oh, my goodness. You must have broken the Tony's house because how you get that? You son of a... How the fuck you got his dildo pistol? Did you get those at Adam and Eve? Yeah. That's the new...

Hey, put it in your mouth and turn it on. No, stop. Huh? Oh, my goodness. I'm black, so I won't go. You know what? I just had an idea. Kill Tony, Tijuana, July...

Are they open down there? The border's closed, right? Is the border closed, Manolo? If it makes sense. I get the feeling Jeremiah won't be allowed to come on this trip. Bro, you... Tony's gonna come, baby.

Tony, you're gonna have to put that episode on only fans, bro. I've been happily married for one million years. Yeah, I feel like we'd have trouble getting down there. They would let Joel in, and we wouldn't be able to get him back. So don't worry about it.

I'm a tourist who can actually speak English, and they did not let me cross the U.S. because of everything. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Please tickle that girl. On the right.

Yeah. Tickle her. That's how I like my women. Let's see if I can make her laugh. Can she hear me? She can hear me, right? Can you hear me? Can you hear me?

We actually can't really hear you that much, so that's why we're struggling a bit. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Put it closer so you can hear me. You're gonna say something. Hello, hello.

What's the trick? Please. Hello, girl. My name is Tony. Tony likes men. Every day. He likes men. Tony likes men.

He likes chorizo. And sausage in his mouth. Alright. Tony is chupetoto. Tony is very skinny. Oh, yes. Hold on. Let's all talk at the same time.

Can we do that? Yes. I am American. American? American? Yes. Yes. Yeah, I worked.

There you go. See, I did it in three words. Don't say that. Don't be gay in Mexico. No. I know, but it worked. It worked. It was just a don't be gay in Mexico.

Don't be gay in Mexico. I guess I won't be going anytime soon. I'm the first openly gay mortal comeback. I love that. Wow, he has a dildo and an electric toothbrush. That is exciting. Alright, Manolo. This has been awesome, dude.

You're fucking incredible. I mean, what can I say? This is... Are you in a bathtub? Hot tub, the whole time. Oh, look. Yes, dude. Is it filled with puddle water?

Yo, Tony, I'm sorry. We couldn't hear you that much because I happened to puke during God. So maybe that was the bad timing, you know? Try putting water in it. It helps. If not, my jokes would have killed. Dude, Manolo, I might come visit you

in Tijuana soon. I just found out that I'm doing the La Jolla Comedy Store. Okay. Perfect. It's pretty safe. I'm telling you. It's pretty safe.

They got sponsor you. It's pretty safe. That's pretty safe. Pretty safe is always what I'm into. July 9th through the 12th, I found out I'm doing the La Jolla Comedy Store. How far is the La Jolla from where you are right now, Manolo?

40 minutes. Oh, my God. All right. There you go. If I come back from that weekend in La Jolla with an itchy crotch, you know why. It's not because of Manscape. That's right.

And it ain't because I had them in eighth. What was that? Nothing. I love you, Manolo. You guys are amazing. What's your name again, sweetheart? With the phone? I am V.

V. Vanessa. I love it. I love it. What's the angry girl's name? I'm a badass. That's why. She is a hostage.

I hope to visit you guys someday up there. Absolutely. You're definitely welcome 100% and we're looking forward to it. I'm a wannabe comedian in Mexico. Well, you got a spot at the ice house. Whenever you want. Not if Trump has anything to do with it.

All right, guys. Thank you so much, Manolo. You're the best. No, thank you very much. I'll be keeping the party going until next Monday. I love it. Absolutely. Send us a submission anytime, Manolo.

You're the best. Bye, guys. Bye, ladies. Bye, bye. Wow. That's the life, bro. It really is. The last thing you want to be two spots into this show

is jealous and horny, but here we are. Okay. There you go. We have another submission, ladies and gentlemen. This man became famous on the show just a couple weeks ago, and he was doing a parody of Manolo, who we just had on, and now he is back. Ladies and gentlemen, it is Robolo.

Here he is. There you go. Very good. Here's Robolo. Hey, Tony. Robolo here again with my buddy, Skecietti. Yeah, he's got the hookup to the Laguna and Gale Cartel. I'm going to tell them a few jokes for my new minute.

Get it? It's my fucking dick. On our way to the Laguna and Gale Cartel. Anyone else mistake Harvey Weinstein for Harvey Firestein, the gay Jewish guy from Independence Day? Get in my office and watch me shower. Why couldn't the leopard play hide-and-seek? Because he was always spotted.

Because he was a pair of pond legion. That was real funny, right? Hey, hey, hey, come on. Oh, hey, hey, hey, come on, stop. Hey, what's going on? Robolo, don't worry, dude. This is great. They're jumping you in.

We're not going to jump a man full. We're going to dump him in. Poopoo meerda kaka on his face. He needs poopoo on his face to join him again. Sorry, my boy. I'm dead. What the fuck, a werewolf too? You've got to be shitting me.

I'm getting too hot for this shit. You are now part of the Laguna and Gale Cartel. What is your name? Shawlburg. Shawlburg. I thought I heard Robolo. Who's Shawlburg? I'm confused. Fuck yeah.

That was hilarious though. Yes, it was. It was. Robolo. These are getting so dope, bro. They put natural production in. For sure. 100% of the submissions so far.

Very high production quality. I mean, if we were to put it side by side to these episodes three months ago, it would be a shocking difference. The show has definitely evolved into a sort of a sketchy sort of production. He said he never got a password. Oh, that's weird.

Seven sevens. There you go. Seven sevens is the answer. Seven sevens if you're watching. Type seven in seven times. Seven times. Because that's the best password. It's funny because none of the other people

even had to enter passwords. Interesting indeed. I think he's coming in. Maybe in a second now. The people did make me laugh and I feel ashamed because that's my thing. It didn't make you laugh? No, it did make you laugh.

That's a Robolo special. That has been in all of the Robolo submissions. I thought it was funny too. And then the werewolf came and it really got me. The werewolf really fucking got me. And the bad voiceover on the guys. Great. Perfect. It's pretty amazing that like

that Manolo's covering stuff Michael Lehrer did and now Robolo's covering Manolo. Yep. I don't even know who I am anymore. It almost seems like there's a flow to the show that Oh, yeah.

Stay over there. It almost seems like there's almost seems like someone puts thought into this instead of just showing up with underwear on their head. It's like they're putting peas around. It looks like these collars actually know how to have fun.

Oh, wait, that's underwear? No, it's a ninja mask. How fucking dare you? That's a swimsuit. What do you know about swimming? Damn, Coro Ninja. Look, I fight till the death, all right?

Oh my God. Tony says shaking peas around. Yeah, what are those? What's in there? Peans. Oh my goodness. It's a shaker because you said you wanted things nice and mellow tonight. Yeah, no, it's great. I agree.

It's absolutely perfect. What a great... Wow, we're waiting. Jeremiah, how was... You were gone for two weeks. A lot of people thought you quit. Yeah. I forgot your name, sorry. It's fricking rated.

How was where you were? Actually, I went back to Kansas City. I went on a secret trip there. And... Overland Park? Well, now Olathe, but Overland Park is where Raiden is from.

Yeah. There's as many black people in this studio right now as there are where Jeremiah was, by the way, if you're wondering. If you're like, hey, I wonder what the numbers in Olathe, Kansas are of black people. This many. That's the answer. It's actually not true at all.

My mom has a black neighbor. We hung out and played pool. It was a lot of fun. Yeah. They may have just been doing blackface. What do you think about Anchamaima and all this shit going down, David? Bro, that shit sucks, man.

Why they trying to take... Black people ask for equality. And now white people try to take black people off a pancake. What are you gonna put a white woman on there? I saw Anchamaima at the grocery store and was like, I buy a lot of these right now. And like eBay them. You guys really care about the logo

on your syrup that much? Before we fucking have Aunt Susan's pancake. Just eat the fucking syrup. Who gives a shit? That's a really fat get rich quick scheme. It's buying up all the anchamaima. And being like, I'm gonna... These are gonna be worth something someday. These are the new bean paste.

Brian thought that's what sipping on syrup meant. It's just like gold, bro. You can sell them on the black market or is... You know what else they're changing, bro? Equality. They don't want people to use the term master bedroom anymore. Oh, no shit. This shit is getting out of hand.

What's crazy is that I heard about that and I'm like, why? And then I'm like, oh shit. And so like people are learning about racist things that they never even thought of or knew before. I never thought the master bedroom had to do with what bedroom the... I don't even think black people knew that, though.

I don't think anybody fucking knew that. They want you to call it the primary bedroom. I'm still calling my shit the master bedroom. There's a bunch of rich white kids right now on the internet that came from an all-white neighborhood Googling like, what can we change? I want to change things to...

So that I feel like I made a change for the better and they're finding out all this shit. The Lando Lakes lady is gone. It's just the... Uncle Ben's rice? To be honest. I think you just changed it to Peter Parker's Uncle Ben. Peter Parker?

That was his uncle? That is so weird. You would think they would have named his uncle anything other than Uncle Ben. It's like we can pick any name for his uncle. What'll we go with there? I think rice sales would actually skyrocket if they changed it to Uncle Ben from Peter Parker

from Spider-Man because there's so many Marvel fans. There's so many freaking Marvel fans out there. It's pretty wild. Yes, there are. Which Uncle Ben would you have? Which Spider-Man movie? It's a good question. Welcome back to Nerdsville. Not the black one.

We're going to bring Drew Williamson back to join us here. Not the black one, huh? Is the black one his uncle named Ben? Yeah, it's the same character as just their... Well, how is it the same? No, he's talking about Miles Morales.

Miles Morales is different than Peter Parker. You're right. That's deal Ben. There's a black spider pig on there. Wow. Welcome back to what the fuck is happening. Stay over there. They should put 3-6 Mafia on the syrup.

Do we have any update, Joe, on Robolo? Haven't heard anything. His ass is canceled. Hold on one second. I'm supposed to be in Tempe at the end of the month, I guess. I guess that's happening.

Are you texting with him, Joe? He sent him the password. Come check it out, headlining a couple nights. Did he get sent the link? What do I work at? A sausage factory? I still don't know the answer to the question. I just asked.

You know what I was just thinking? I was just thinking, this show has a really nice flow to it. I like it. It actually really does. It's nice and chill. This is always the part of the show where Jeremiah calls out something weird about the show that's not even happening. I tell you what.

I watched the Ice House episode. It's a weird energy in here, am I right? I watched it. We didn't even notice again. I watched the Ice House episode recently before the first quarantine episode. That was one of my favorite episodes because we were all chill.

That was fun. We were hanging out, William was wasted, and everyone was like babysitting a little kid and shit. But I thought it was a good time. It's fun. We didn't even do a podcast. We always could. I don't know.

I just think that sometimes we got to keep some submissions going and talk with people. Now that it's evolving naturally, just like everything does, you go with the flow. We didn't force people like, oh, you must do stand up. It must be a stand up submission.

Now these things are coming in funny and they're getting literally more creative every week. I like the sketch aspect a lot. The sketches are great. I think I like that better than the stand up comedy. Especially when people are taking the sketches and kind of like adding on to each other's sketches

and making like a timeline. I think that's a great idea. Developing characters? I'm struggling right now to get it in. It won't let me in. Do you have to admit them? Yeah, I'm waiting for him to try. All right.

I will say this. The video was dope. Yeah, Robolo, the video was dope. I'm sorry we can't get you in. DM me and tell me what you use for that fake shit. I want to know. Why do you want to know that? Out of all the things you put about it.

Out of all the things you put about it. I don't know what that fake shit is. That video was great, but where do you get your poop from? Where that shit comes from. All right. Well, it looks like Robolo's not going to be able to make it in. That's my alpha. Should we just move on?

And then if he comes back later, we'll... Yeah, let's try that. We'll talk more about the making of that Robolo submission if Robolo comes in later. That was Robolo, ladies and gentlemen. Doing a parody of Minolo who did a parody of Michael Lair's Ryan Bedpan

which was a parody of Brian Redban. So here we go. Moving along. Ladies and gentlemen, here he is. The brother in cursive. The one, the only, the big red machine. Patsy Kline's craziest of the crazies.

One of my favorite top young rising comedians in the world. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for William Montgomery. Thank you. Please stop. Hey, cheers, y'all. Please take a seat.

What's up? I was metal detected earlier. The Dixie Chicks. What about my toe and shit? My toe and shit. A lot of people want to shit on Chris Delia but that's not

as fetish. Whatever happened to the stop and move away from the vehicle guy? No, really. Whatever happened to that guy? Chris Angel's greatest trick

is how he made himself disappear. It's pretty obvious a black guy named at Cracker Barrel. No, but seriously, I want to give a rest and peace to Judith

Barcy. She was the little dinosaur on that dinosaur movie late 80s. Judith Barcy's father shot her in the head, tried to burn the house down, make it look like

an accident. I just want to give it up for Judith Barcy tonight, y'all. I got COVID by rest. All right, William Montgomery, there you go. Absolutely.

Hey, William, turn your camera sideways. Turn your camera sideways. Say that a little bit slower, you bitch. Why? Turn your camera sideways, William. Jesus. General Robert E. Lee, turn that shit sideways.

There you go. Very good. Wide screen, motherfucker. Yeah, nobody ever wants to talk about him. General Robert E. Lee. They took the statue down. You're going to bring that shit up tonight? What's up, bitch?

What you drinking tonight? What do you mean, what am I everything? A little bit of high sea. Mixed with a little bit of bunch. Mixed with a little bit of pride. What?

Stop drinking that kerosene, dawg. What are you saying? What does that mean? Is that a black thing? Oh, goodness gracious. William, William, I always feel like William's one drink away from just saying the n-word on this show. He said it to me before.

He always says it. What pussy said that? I said that. That was Coro Ninja, one of the newest members of the Mortal Kombat. Coro Ninja, I haven't liked you since five days ago. I swear to God, I will break into

the house, whatever you want to call it. He got your girlfriend underwhelming his face. Don't fuck with me. Stay over there! Don't fuck with me. William, how you been doing this week? What's going on with your mental health and things like that? I bought Tony. I bought $400

worth of board games on eBay. I bought $200. It's a good investment. Do you really believe that, Tony? Yeah, those are all going to be worth a lot more money. Have you bought any Angioma syrup lately?

Can you say that a little bit slower, you bitch? William has a little fucking fire to him tonight. It's hard for him to understand things. What'd you just say, David? You've been hanging around too many black people. What'd you just say, David? Too many

black girls? It's funny, it looks like you're actually looking at him here in the studio. It looks like you're actually looking at David in the studio with the way the TVs angled and everything. Now it looks like you're looking at me. Now you're looking at Joel.

You're something I wrote. Hey, Jeremiah, how have Boogie nights been on Wednesdays? What does that mean? Will you say that slower, you bitch? Oh, Coro, come on. You're going to anger him. Hey, Jeremiah, how

have Boogie nights been on Wednesdays? I don't really get it. Can you explain that a little bit? Come on, Yosemite Sam. Two years ago, Jeremiah and I, before he met his wife, he showed me

the ways of whatever you want to call it down in Thailand. We were having sex with people in my hotel room. Jeremiah was on fire. This is wild because we know everything William Montgomery has ever said

is 100% honest and true. So, Jeremiah, what do you think about these accusations? They're not actually accusations. I'm being outed right now. Oh, wow. Cancel. Jeremiah. I was on fire in Thailand having sex with people. Walked up the steps

and we shot her. And then I said, nobody ever wants to talk about that. You said, William, you're so funny. Just maybe. What else did Jeremiah say when you were in Thailand?

Oh, I already know what you're freaking. You're freaking turd. You're freaking turd, Incecliff. I saw you motioning the red band to get this ready. I can't believe you would do that to me. William, what else did I say over there in Thailand, William?

I just got $8,000 from the government. I'm buying a house. Black Lives Matter. In Jeremiah, I told you, you can't buy an $8,000 house. We're not

still in the orient. Hey, William, what else did I say? Do I have your attention? I take responsibility. You said to me, so Judith Morrissey, I get it, you're sad her father killed her.

It's true she was the little girl in the cartoon. I think it was 1989. All dogs go to heaven. What are you talking about? I mean, why do you bring that up? That's not fucking funny.

Hey, how's work, though, Will, for real, though? He's just talking about her history together. That's it, that's all it is. How's work? How's my work? I got fired two weeks ago. You just started working last week. Yeah, I started working at Walmart

whenever you want to call it. I got fired two weeks ago. I sell shampoo. You need a bottle of water, bro. That was my next question. What do you do at Walmart? Clearly, you're the shampoo guy. You need a bottle of water and a nap. Okay.

Wow. Where is he at? This does not seem like... the backyard that we're used to. Is this a different backyard? Are you wearing a shirt? This is a different place. No, I'm not wearing a shirt. Wow. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, William. You are shaped like a coffee pot. I'm having fun tonight. I'm shaped like a what? Like a coffee pot. Like a coffin? No, like a coffee pot. Like what you pour coffee out of into a cup.

Like a coffin. Like the Kool-Aid Man picture. You're telling me I'm shaped like a coffin? Actually, yes. A coffin works as well. You get wider in the middle as you go down. The tea kettle from Beauty and the Beast. You're shaped like the ghost from Super Mario.

Yup. That was funny. That was really good, you bitch. Sorry, can you say that slower? You bitch. You're trying to get canceled, bro. You're going to have your YouTube page with a bunch of...

William, you're lucky you're not in the fucking studio right now. Don't do the math on that one. Oh, you fucking... You're not going to be able to do these things. I'm not enough. Judith Barcy is in the grave. Who's Judith Barcy? Final question, then we'll let you go. She got murdered by her father

late 80s out here in Los Angeles. And Tony, honestly, why bring it up? I'm worried I'm going to get murdered. There is someone who won't stop snail mailing me. What is snail mail? It's the regular

USBS. Hard toppy. All right, William. I baited you into that one, Tony. You got me. Hey, Tony, what about next week I can show up at the studio? No chance, dude.

Hey, Jeremiah, what about next week I can show up at the studio? Yeah, we can talk about it. Okay, you punk! Oh, my God. I just said we won't talk about it. You fucked with me two years ago, dude.

I got a bitch pregnant. Oh, my goodness, we're fine. I have a child. I said I'll have you on the show, calm down. I have a kid. William, I'm going to have you on. You better be glad you ain't black, bro. You would have been on God's side by the police.

That kid's black. William, what's your kid's name? What did you name your child that you're not a father to? What's the kid's name? Sunflower seed. Sunflower seed, that's funny. No, William, what's his real name? I want you to answer this.

Uh, David Nickel. What did you just say? Yeah, I don't think you're allowed to say that word. David Nickel, whoa! It's my three-year-old son. And he don't give a shit no more. Wow. Y'all are talking about COVID.

He's got it, and he's getting on airplanes. Wow. The three-year-old's just getting on airplanes by himself? He's getting on airplanes. I'm messaging him with his earplug. His ear thing. And he's making people sick. Okay.

All right, that sounds good. We don't care anymore. We're infecting everyone. My goodness. $100 worth of Monopoly boards on eBay three nights ago. Why'd you do that? I don't give a shit anymore, Tony.

Why did you buy all those Monopoly boards, William? Because I don't care anymore, man. I think I can jump off of a one-story building. Do it right now. Do it. Do it. This will be Podcast History. Ladies and gentlemen, last week he climbed a tree. This week he's going to jump off of a one-story building.

This is the first time this has ever been done. Not only in... It's a great idea. Yeah, it was your idea. I'm kidding. It's a joke. Oh, okay. You sobered up dead, motherfucker. I sobered up dead.

Two weeks ago, I jumped off of a one-story building. How about we got a shit together? I didn't care no more. This is like a... I heard about Judith Barcy getting killed by... All right, all right. There's a limit to how many Judith Barcy references I can have. There's like a tape that the cops finding an abandoned house.

All right, William. Was that a Hispanic person? Yeah, it was. We feel like we're watching the Blair Bitch Project right now. Oh! That was hilarious. Who said that? Totally Raiden. That was Raiden.

What is this? Four-leaf clover field? I'm now going to move back to Memphis. My comedy's not working anymore, Raiden. That was hilarious, you bitch. William. William, absolutely hilarious. I love that you're still writing jokes.

That's going to keep that muscle strong for you. You have a very silly style that still works during this pandemic, even online. And I absolutely love it. You had Red Band and I almost fall out of our chairs on your please stop while the band was playing music. Absolutely hilarious timing

and execution of that. At some point, y'all let me. I want to come hang with y'all. We are. We just need seven more Dyson air purifiers. Spencer Edwards? There you go. There goes William Montgomery, everybody. This is the part where you just start saying

random made-up names. You've got to get rid of them. Judith Barcy, Spencer Edwards. David Nicholl. Yeah. Well. That's William Montgomery. You know him.

You know him. You know him. That's William Montgomery. You know him. You love him. And we have gone during this pandemic missing some of our favorite legends of Kill Tony. Some of our favorite human beings.

And one person that we have not spoken with in absolute months is without a doubt one of the most famous people in the history of the show. She signed up, I believe the age of like 61 for her first time.

She got on. She has bucket luck like nobody else's business. She is a magical spirit and a super nice lady on stage and off. She's writing. She made a lot of friends in the comedy business at the comedy store.

And I love her. She reminds me of my mom. And she's a sweet, sweet spirit. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a submission from and the return of Aphrodite. Some music. And then here's Aphrodite, everybody.

Here we go. I'm so glad to be back on the Kill Tiny Show. Tiny, I so miss you so much doing your show out of a baby basket at the comedy store. Everybody just love you. You're so tiny

and adorable. Well, okay, okay. I'm just doing something to entertain myself because of this motherfucking goddamn coochie-la-rola pussy and the juices flying out the back of the head. Fucking virus killing people and shit. You can't go out and get no dick and

flaming nobody. I'm involved in my own motherfucking house. I'm fucking involved in my own motherfucking house. I'm fucking totally chromatized with this shit. I had to do something before I lose my goddamn mind. I went out and bought me some dick. You can say what you want. I did. I bought

some dick and I don't give a fuck what you think. And I take a dick there before I lose my mind. Oh, well, I lose my mind. It's wrong, coochie-la-rola. You gotta stop it. There you go, Afrodite. Afrodite. Hello, my love.

How are you? Can you hear us okay? Hi, how are you? I'm doing fantastic. Manolo just pops out of the back. Afrodite, how do you feel about removing you from the bottle, sir? Well, they can kill the duck ass cause I'm still gonna be surfing in

sweet motherfuckers. They could take away Aunt Jemima, but nothing's gonna keep you from crawling on a bed of pancakes. This thing is stupid. Fatality. Oh, boy. Oh, shit. Look at those fucking things.

Hell, yeah. Age like a fine wine. Look at you. Jesus Christ. A lot of people don't know this, but I actually Seen how titties will fall? No. I got a much bigger life than I thought it would be. Six months ago, Tony had a bad night.

But when the pandemic started and they started closing bars down, one of the last things that I did was I was on, I had just done a spot. I'd closed down the Ha Ha Cafe. I was fucking jonesing for stage time, but none was to be found.

And I knew bars were closing that night or whatever, and I saw on Twitter that the Top Shelf Brass Band was performing on some some late night gig on Vine Street and I'm like, you know what? I don't have any, I don't have shit to do right now. I'm going to go support them for the first time

instead of them coming to our show. And I went and Afro was killing it on a balcony, singing her fucking heart out. The band was banging. It was so cool. I'm so glad I made it out there. So, uh, yeah.

Yeah, you're the best, Afro. What? You really made our night. I love that. That was fun. We got to kick it for a bit afterwards. We all hung out. So, how you been doing, Afro? How are you?

Tony, I have been doing fantastically. I've been going out ever since this bullshit started and stopped doing nothing. And uh, we're seeing friends on Long Beach and I'm going in the studio with Top Shelf Brass Band. We got some hot music.

We're going to let you have it first time. I love it. You don't, you think COVID's a hoax? Are you a denier that the disease exists? Well, let me ask you this. Do you know what COVID means? No, go ahead and tell us. Is that one of your cousins? No, uh, but uh, you know,

knowing this damn history in this country probably is. But anyway, for those who don't know, COVID means certificate of vaccination ID. What fucking Facebook post did you see that? Yeah.

Fuck out of here, man. Fuck out of here. You gotta fucking blinged out boogers in your nose. Oh, come on. Be nice. Be nice, Staffro. Hey, man. Your hands belong on the railroad worker. Oh, come on, David. Don't row, Staffro.

She's a sweet little thing. All right. You'll be the new model for the Tillsbury Dope Company. What's that mean, Afro Daddy? I'm drunk, but... I didn't know those bitches was like that. You always got out of bags with you at the comedy store.

Afro has the most amazing bucket lock. I mean, I absolutely love her. I think she's a sweet spirit that mixes in well with the chaos on this show. She is proof of her getting so many opportunities on the show is not misogynist

as so many people, you know, claim shows to be nowadays. It's not racist, clearly. We're not agist. You're proof that we are good people. We're not against it. We're not... We're not waitest. October 10th. Oh, wow. Wait, say that again?

I'll be 65 October 10th. It's gonna be 10 stand 20-20. I fucking love that. You are a little spitfire, you. You got a man? Oh, you got a man now? He hasn't saved one. Oh, okay. Are you sitting on him right now?

Where he at? He was just over here the other day fucking me real good, okay? How old is he? My age, he's one year younger but he's built like Hercules. He's 6'3". Oh, shit. Put your ass out, baby. It's up to you

to stand on the wheel. I'm not trying to fuck. I just didn't never know you. Huh? What are you gonna do with that keyboard? You got a song lined up or something? You gonna give us a little diddly? I didn't write any songs at home

because I felt people were so sad and I wrote this song called We Gonna Be Alright and try to do 30 seconds of a minute. Yep. Let's do 30 seconds. We gonna be alright. Let's do 30 seconds of it, Afro. My hands are shaking. I've never done this before.

Oh, shit. Got a better drummer than we have. The shit was connected to the keyboard. Oh, god. Intro to keyboard. There you go. Yep. Right.

We gonna be alright. Alright. Skirt. Skirt. Skirt. Fuck yeah. Yeah. You know we should not do 30 minutes. You know that, right? It's gonna be 3 minutes.

Alright. Alright. Yes, we are. There it is. We gonna be alright, Afro Diddy. Thank you so much for that incredible submission. I mean for that performance. She's gonna be playing this for 3 more hours.

Long after we end this Zoom call, she's gonna still be playing. I love it. Yeah. We love you, Afro Diddy. We love you so much. Thank you. Have a great night. Thank you, Tony. Everybody love you.

That's right. The great Afro Diddy, everybody. Alright. That's fun. That was a cool little change of pace there from all the white people and the comedy portion of the show. A little visit from Afro Diddy.

She fucked up a whole size to make that sketch. That is true. You don't think she ate it after? That was not Adam and Eve product right there. That was fresh from the butcher. That was fucking hell super. If you had to do butt or her vagina,

which one would you do? This is one of the weirdest No, it's only one or two. The titties look 28. It's an interesting question. A vagina or butt if you absolutely had to. I go butt.

Why? Explain your answer a little bit. Because I know that pussy got Afro Diddy Afro Diddy 65 still fucking that pussy got 300,000 miles on it. Yeah, but what about her butt? That's like 500,000 shits.

Black girls ain't really into animal like that. Both of them is horrible either way. You might fuck her butt and a bone comes out. Oh my god, alright. That's good. I'm glad you said that. That's gonna be an... This way, I don't have to answer the question now.

That pussy gonna look like Arby's meat. You have to choose one. I choose butt. Okay, we got your answer, David. Jesus Christ. Good lord. How many times are you gonna butt fuck Afro Diddy? Okay, well, see how I rationalize this.

Well, wait a second. Here's a follow up question. If I pick butt, is it after David fucked her in the butt or is it still just her fresh butt today? It's reset. 65 year old butt. But it is her butt right now

and we don't know how long ago she showered or anything like that. It's her butt at this current time or vagina. Um... This is an interesting question. You know what? I'm gonna let Jeremiah answer first. That's a horrible one. Jeremiah, you got to answer.

Or Raiden... Raiden, you have to answer. She's still there. Goddamn, red man. Fucking piece of shit. Oh my goodness. Get her out of here, bro. Them fucking white ass two men.

Oh, you be nice to Afro Diddy. I love her, but we're talking about her ass and her pussy and he got her right down. Oh my goodness gracious. All right, you know what? Just to be nice because I love Afro Diddy. Come on, Jeremiah. You got to answer now. Jeremiah, go ahead. Quick answer here.

If it makes you feel better, I'll ask Raiden. Okay, the butthole. Okay, how about Jeremiah? The stakes are raised now. I can't let that slide. What do we got next on the show there? The listeners want to know. I don't know if they want to know that bad.

Yeah, they do. Come on, you have to answer one, Jerry. Just a quick answer. Just a quick... You know what? Answer it for us, Jeremiah. Which one? Wow, Tony's so subtle.

Yeah, it's impossible here. Normally when we're doing our normal show I subtly tap him and whisper, this is much harder. I have to literally... I'm like a football coach on the sideline. Ask Captain Underpants. All right, yeah, Captain Underpants.

We're just going to say that Jerry meant... Jeremiah meant... But for both. Yeah. We know what Captain Underpants was. I say get over there. What are you going to do, Joel? You got to answer. It's sick.

So... Uh... Can I just sniff the afro? You've got to pick one. You have to put your wiener into one of the two holes. This is what the show has become now. You know what? Blindfold me and throw me at her. Nope.

Still not an answer. You've got to answer, Joel. We can only move on after you answer. Come on, pen diesel. I really picked the wrong week to not be drunk. All you have to say is... vagina or butthole? Um...

Okay. That's a default of butt, by the way. Everyone just... That's both. That means he's dipping in going... Okay, Jeremiah, thank you. Don't sing. There you go.

So that means that... By not answering, Joel has picked both the butthole and the vagina back and forth. Showing that he just can't get enough... In front of his parents. That's true. That's what he wanted to do. He refuses to answer a simple question. And he's a comic.

I love it. By the way, I'm going vagina and I'm finishing inside of her. She can't get pregnant. She can't get pregnant. It's going to look like one of those... It's going to come out looking like one of those... like a chocolate donut

but with the vanilla icing. Like a chocolate cake. Like a chocolate birthday cake that you get from a grocery store. I've got a shit in her asshole. Okay, okay, okay. Save that for the VR chat or something like that.

Okay, we got Robolo is back. Is that right? Did I see that correctly? Let's see if he... I felt like he ran out once he got in here. Yeah, there he is. He's up there. Yeah, Robert. There we go.

Yay, Robolo! What's up, buddy? Hello, let's get you unmuted. Got to unmute yourself. Am I here? Yeah, there he is, Robolo. We loved your submission. It was incredible. How are you, dude?

Oh, I am good. Thank you, fellas. I had a mini stroke right there. I was on the fun times but there was a miscommunication. I was going to do a voice but I was dying and like... I'm an Amish, like, autistic guy so I was like trying to get the shit going

in my Robolo gear. It was hilarious. Hey. Oh, here's my friend here, Gavin. Say what's up. He liked being on TV last time. I love it. Hi, Gavin. Oh, wait, what's this? What do we got here? Uh-oh. Is this like a bow or...

looks like some sort of... I think it's like... I think it's like bone in a go. Bone in a go. Yeah, that sounds like it. That is from Adam and Eve. That's it. Robolo, tell us about the making of the

video that you sent in for us. Tell us about that. A lot of production and incredible video. Oh, thank you. Thank you. This child, man. He just ate it really bad. Right, dude? Okay, so we...

Manolo is a big figure. He mentioned something about the cartel. I'm like, you know what? Robolo is going to step it up. And we're going to go to the cartel and tell jokes. And, you know, I asked my buddies to do it. And the poo is made out of brownies.

And Sam's Club. Those fuckers hurt, man. Oh, those... those poo-poo into butts hurt. And they are real painful. The first take that I did, it was like three hours of heating up those brownies.

And it literally, yeah. It felt like it sprained my nose. My goodness, look how that kid popped up. This is like watching Kristallia's DMs. Oh, no! Oh, God. He knows him. It's topical, you know?

Heck, yeah. It works on everybody right now. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. That's getting weirder. Here's Gilligan. Hey, hi, Gilligan. What's up? My brother who played the

prostitute last time was supposed to be a skipper doing cocaine. Man, chaos. I love it. Hey, can you tickle that kid for me? Oh, I don't know, man. I'm trying to start a career.

I don't know if you'll bite me, but all right. I'm getting good. I don't know if she's a prostitute. No offense, but... My goodness. Hold on. Manolo's living it up, and I am too, man.

We just finished some popcorn. Oh, my goodness. Wow. I mean, look, dude, Manolo's got a lot of ketchup. I've got a kid. Manolo also has a lot of kids out there running around. Probably.

I just want the thing like the... Hi, kid. Give me a box of this. That's all. He's getting weird. They want to investigate his ass.

Now it's getting weird. If you're wondering, hey, I wonder if it was weird earlier. Not really. Now it's getting weird. What's your dad's password? Oh, boy. He knows how to pick locks and stuff. He does? This is kind of hilarious. I wish I could show you

my family would hate it. There's literally like a team of people taking the charms. Taking the what? All this sounds creepy. All the wording sounds... He's related to me. Nothing weird going on here. Well, when you say nothing, we are going weird. Yeah, now it sounds really weird.

Now I don't even think it's your child. No, it's not. That's why I think what he's telling us. Oh, my goodness. I have a question I asked because I thought going in, it was his son. Of course. Yeah. No. Yes.

So, Robolo, how else has life been going for you this week, Robert? Oh, man. I am living it up. Trying to just stay positive during all this. Trying to keep busy, productive. Trying to take up some more healthy activities, man.

I've consumed a lot of pizza and disgusting food. I watched a really weird movie the other day. I got in a weird place. It was Contagion. You guys remember that movie, Contagion? Yes. That's the worst movie to watch right now. Yes.

Not fun, but an outbreak I saw. And that movie is hilarious. Kevin Spacey has AIDS in it and the Ebola virus. Something happens to him, but it's a lot of fun. Still flustered over earlier. I had a stroke. I tell you. Okay.

No, it's good. It's great. Lots of laughs during your video. All is well there. Thank you guys. What's the deal with Gilligan? The Gilligan thing is a little bit confusing to me. I don't recall seeing him in the video. No, no.

I was trying to get my brother to reprise his role as the prostitute, but he couldn't tonight. I thought it was doing some Skipper-Gilligan thing. I was planning because I didn't know if we were going to be on or not, but it's just fun.

There might be some symbolism there. I don't know. It's like a David Lynch movie. Just pretend you know what's going on. When all else fails and you have a half-put-together idea like Gilligan in the background, you just do it.

That's what I learned at UCB. Oh, yeah. If you half-plan your characters, just roll with it and hope for the best. You did that here. The video was unbelievable. Again, big pop on the werewolf

coming out of nowhere. Great stuff, dude. Oh, thank you guys. The last video was out of whim. I didn't know if I was going to do a normal character, but I was just compelled because Manolo is so hilarious.

I did that video and we have no idea if we're going to be able to sit in a patio at a Chili's or if we're going to all get whatever it is. I appreciate you guys doing the show during all this. I have a question.

Is that belt that kids above the bed behind you? It is, yeah, because it was mine and he made it his. It's very small. Fun times chatting with you. Thank you so much. Guys with an open invite

anytime you send us a submission we're going to shoehorn you right in there. Great stuff, dude. Thank you so much. Very creative. Robolo, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a podcast. What's your social media?

Robert. Robertlandpod on Instagram, Twitter. Robertlandpod, all one word. There you go. There he goes, Robolo, everybody. Yeah. Fun times. We're plowing through it.

Let's go through another one. Ladies and gentlemen, this guy has submitted before and he's submitted again. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a submission from Devin Clark. Ladies and gentlemen, here we go. Here we go, Devin Clark. Hey, what up, y'all?

I used to work at Yahoo. You guys remember Yahoo? Yahoo was a hard job, man. We weren't allowed to Google anything. Google was like the n-word at Yahoo. Don't say it. Don't use it. They were very strict. I remember there was a lady there, she was brand new and she said it just out of habit, you know.

She was like, okay, I'll Google it. She was never seen again. It's like, what happened to Pam? Pam's been erased. Erased. Damn. I need a job though, man. My uncle owns a hot tub store called American Hot Tubs. He said the industry's been hit very hard. He's throwing a hot tub's matter sale right now.

It's like, black lives matter and so do hot tubs. Get your black ass in a hot tub. 30% off. Very disrespectful. I was out there protesting but I was not looting, okay. I was angry but I'm also unemployed. Like, can I loot a job? Can I loot gainful employment?

I would love to run into a store and then run out holding a career. Like, look guys, I'm a new manager at Applebee. I looted this job. I'll start tomorrow. Hell yeah. Devin Clark. Absolutely doodling. That's how it's done.

Right there. Jokes, baby. Jokes. Hello? Hello, Devin. How are you? I'm doing alright, man. I was kind of tired. I was in a long ass line this morning. I've been lying for like three hours. Yeah, where were you in line for?

I was trying to get my certificate of vaccination of ID. That didn't hit. Alright. Okay. Oh. The COVID. The callback. That's right. To the outfield.

No, you got it. I'm starting off strong. No, it was good. It was good. I love it. Devin, where in the world are you? I'm in Hollywood right now. I'm actually at a Motel 6. I've been living here for a while since the pandemic. How expensive is that?

Well, see, it's through the VA, transitional housing. Oh, that's great. The pandemic was terrible timing. I was running a room in a house and receded. And then I wanted to move it to

my own place, but I needed to save some money. I had a full-time job, so I said, hey, man, I asked a cousin, let me sleep in your couch for $100 a month for like a month. So I could save up money to move into my own spot. And I moved out March 1st. Pandemic hit, 15. Got furloughed on my job, lost money.

So I had to call the VA for help. That's good, and the VA was there for you. It's helping. Veterans are doing pretty good right now, right? Yeah. But looking at Manolo, he's living the complete opposite of me. He's half-naked, gorgeous

women in a nice house. Yeah, he's at a Motel 6. He's at a Motel 6. Fantastic. Hotel. I can't believe how good the Wi-Fi is at Motel 6 in Hollywood. That's the thing that's surprising me the most.

It's better than my house. It's off my phone, man. Oh, it's off your phone? Famously better than David Lucas' Wi-Fi, some of the worst Wi-Fi. Dude, that's off his phone, and he has Sprint. Incredible. Just incredible. My goodness.

You look so familiar, bro. Where are you from? What are you from before? Say what? Have you been on my IG live before? Have we roasted? No. I see you at the store. You worked there. Oh, that's probably what it is. What branch of the military were you in, Devin?

Army. Okay. Did you go anywhere? Did you go overseas or anything? No, man. It was not a great experience. I spent two years in the Army just trying to get out, really. There's no repair. It's not a kind of job.

Put me in, coach. I'm a veteran. A real American hero right there. Salvation Army, Nick. Hell, yeah, Devin. Yeah. So what have you been doing for fun? You're holed up at a hotel in Hollywood.

What have you been doing to take your mind off all the stress? Well, I've been doing a lot of Zoom shows, but I've also been trying to figure out a way to start a t-shirt company, because nobody's doing that, right? So I've got a t-shirt company, and I'm going to just make t-shirts.

I've got a good idea if I want to call it a... Don't Be Gay in Mexico. Okay, Brian. Don't Be Gay in Mexico. That's a good one. Why does every black man start a t-shirt business? All my black friends back home asked me to invest in a t-shirt business.

They're like, bro, you got to do about 300 t-shirts. I'm like... Oh, shit. Hey, man, get your motherfucking... head ass up out of here, bro. Oh, shit. Wow. Devin, how long have you been doing stand-up?

Eight years. And how long good you moved to Hollywood? Or to L.A.? I moved here in September, last year. Dallas. I really liked his set, though. I thought that was really good. That is a great bit, bro.

Yeah, damn, that was a great bit, but it's fucking timepiece. It's not going to last long. That's true. Yeah, but it's good. It's good to exercise both. Topical's good when it's good. But as far as t-shirts, David, man,

you need to put I choose butt on a t-shirt. I think that'll sell. Nah, that was just in that instance with her, bro. I just don't trust that pussy. Oh, come on, Brian. No, come on. Why don't you trust Aphrodite's pussy? Because, bro, she's like,

I don't know, bro, a lot of miles. Like, we talking about Dick from the 70s don't been in there. Like, I think there's a TV, I think there's a TV guide in there. She got the shaft from Shaft. That bitch got the bullet that killed Marluda King in her pussy.

Oh, my goodness gracious. Oh, shit. She has nine of those 10s free CDs to get from Columbia. You can hold a Black Lives Matter protest to her pussy. Okay, all right. Got a natural

history African-American museum. Jesus Christ. This line of David Lucas jokes brought to you by Casa Noble Tequila. Got a Black Lives Matter. All right, well, Devin, anything else crazy we should know about you

or your life? Uh... Got a kid. Oh, really? How old is your kid? Five. Got a five-year-old daughter. Oh, shit. My daughter's same age, bro. Really? Okay. Maybe that's how you guys know each other.

Single parent, teacher conferences. They should be friends. You both live in Los Angeles? I know. Your daughter not here, huh? Well, she's in the other room at Motel City. No, she hasn't. She lives in Irvine with her mom. Okay, my daughter's the only black kid in her school,

so I know our kids don't go together. Oh, shit. That's a brag and a half. For those of you that don't know in the black community, if you tell another black person, my kid goes to the all-white school. That's an argument ender right there. I'm better than you.

Yeah. Yeah. Are you funny as fuck, though, bro? That shit made me giggle, bro. Oh, thanks, man. Appreciate it. It's been so fun to have your submission. Thank you so much. I need to try harder with the submissions.

I know people doing sketches and short films. Hey, be goofy with it. Use that set that you have. Use the Motel 6 to your advantage. Yeah, do a review of the Motel 6. Imagine you doing a review of the stupid shit that you see every day like whatever. There you go. Red Band just wrote a sketch

right then in front of all of us. Boom. I'm going to do that. I like it. If you do it, we'll play it next week. Oh, T-shirt. Yeah, absolutely. 100%. The Motel 6 sketch by Devin Clark. T-shirt available next week. So there goes Devin Clark, everybody.

Thank you, Devin. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. All right. That was Devin Clark.

And now, for the final hour, do you realize the true power of the dark side is I present to you my favorite comedian right now. You know, a guy who to me while he's still fresh

and new technically as a stand-up comedian, he is a comedy veteran and to me, is filling the shoes of some of my favorite out-of-the-box creative people like Brody Stevens and, you know,

so many great comedians that, you know, one door closes, another one opens, and this is one of my favorites. The great Michael Lair, everybody. Here we go. Little bit of music for some reason.

Here's Michael Lair. Drug addiction is a systematic failure and worse, targeting. Why does everyone get sympathy except cocaine? Big Pharma

has blood on his hand. You fucking co-core. Let anyone suck your wheelchair dick for the sweet cocoa. I sold my son Colin for cocaine.

So many NBA players are sidelined by Corona. Magic Dyson's are coming back. Pies of Tilly Magic

Civility U.S. law enforcement agencies talk to each other like a month of Rudy Tuesdays. FBI and take it to your desk

with your calculators. Big word calculator coming from a CIA. I say go kill yourself. At least you're not dying back chasing DEA.

Slow your roll alphabet soup. Our seizures pay for your babies and my cock makes. Is there a problem here? No. Then why all the rudeness? Would you like coffee?

You know what? Double part. Michael Nascar still employs more on custodians. One left no news in the horizon

of the Bobo Wallace Nascar plans to investigate including removing from their gift shop the kids book catch the goose on the loose window

noose. Every sport is stepping up for over a hundred years MLB is the BLM backwards. Donald Trump this week about the U.S.'s

booming lobster industry. Sales of lobster are up in Maine. Milord of Brighton has never been more affordable and you want to believe how cheap it is to get

a private island Dixie from a child. Ha ha ha ha Okay, fuck yeah. In unorthodox wild submission from the great Michael Lair everybody hell yeah

and here he is he's with us right now are you unmuted Michael? Are you unmuted? Do you hear me? Do you think you're him in my Bluetooth? Is there work?

Is there work? I don't care How are they working out? How are the new Bluetooth? I love them they're real high end and I can talk hands free

so I can do my size cheap Fuck yeah dude looking ripped today No doubt Fuck yeah man Absolutely, so how's life going? Big week this week, huh?

Fuck yeah My dad saw Kid Tony for the first time Oh wow, that's awesome How'd that go? Is he a fan of the show now? He didn't even know I was

sick Oh my god Oh no Oh What a horrible way to find out your son has Lou Gehrig's disease you're just tuning in to watch enjoy a comedy show

and boom you're going to outlive your own son what a horrible way to find out Yeah but you know the gift of laughter sucks all times

Oh my god Hey I'm pregnant the skin first final Have they changed that bio yet for you? This has been Will you read it Tony? Yeah this has been a long ongoing

thing they finally Because Louis J Gomez doesn't like money but I'm forcing him all the Hollywood power pumpers lift him up

like a fucking Christmas tree and I got what I want Why don't you read it Tony? They changed it it was originally Mike Lairer and you famously said who the fuck is that and they changed it now your actual name is there

and then it says Michael Lairer and then it just says Tony podcast but get this Michael's all jacked up from motor neuron disease Oh no no God's hands again

in parentheses Hey that ain't right Redman what's happening Is that the wrong bio? No That's what you sent me and honestly Michael being honest I read it earlier

and I think they changed it Did they change it on you? I don't know Louis Louis Yeah Louis is trolling him it's pretty apparent

Wow You You're gonna get it Louis J his name first Oh my goodness What's going on?

Like honestly Michael sent me a link earlier and that's the link Yeah they may have changed it again Michael it looks like this is going to continue to be an ongoing problem in your life Again they don't like money

Yeah And all I do is make money That's true I think I don't think Gangfest South might be delayed again anyway Things are looking a little bit rough in Houston right now

We'll see what happens Hey get this You know how on Facebook I I sent me to that race war

No I didn't even know about this You're in a race war? Um Well anyway a good friend of mine Well You know we

by this had this little But it'll be fine But I have him to write before give him a slap tip on

on medical on SimSnow Michael have you been day drinking today? You look slower than usual You look better You

You look better than ever but you sound like shit tonight Okay well that didn't get a laugh so now it just seems really mean Hashtag tuned I'm bad You're right

I drank You're right I can't imagine You're right I'm on my sir I'm on my sir

You know what I'm going to get out here But I want to tell you a few things One Monroe was in my video

with me a friend of mine and I'm all one word Martin M. Morrow M-O-R-R-O-W That's his instagram and his twitter and you're on Jeremiah's

podcast Oh My friend has a link but my brothers every show you buy they're like

triple matching the funds for great charities and help them support what's Yeah it's prowrestlingtease.com and I have a feeling that Tony already knows this company but yes I do

very very well they have a lot of cool things going on always and the Nemeth brothers of course that's the great Nick Nemeth aka Dolph Ziggler who is a high-level professional wrestler former WWE champion

could be a champion again any day now coming up and also a very good stand-up comedian tours all around the world with the great Sarah Tiana Look at this you could just choose any wrestler like I'm an Andre guy Is it like that shitload just for Andre the Giant? They literally have all the best

t-shirts there They have an incredible store that you can walk in in Chicago, Illinois I always go there when I'm in Chicago and do you go with us? Me, you and Thorter. That's right. Oh yeah I wasn't there. I said enjoy.

Calm down. You're on Jeremiah's podcast this week Yeah I'm not drunk so listen Yeah that's gonna be good Yeah They came out

the reviews are in baby Fuck yeah Broadway here we come and this is your one year anniversary of doing stand-up is that correct? Yes Fuck yeah

Yeah I want to hear my first joke Alright I roll my strings and I'm singing and I'm nervous and I go

when people see me and they're struggling to talk and strangling on control or being they always have the same question

the answer is yes I fuck on the first date I fuck with it Still funny a year later Absolutely On that work baby

I'm shopping though my videos are too long No no no no Michael I appreciate your video quality that you've been sending in lately I love the opening

I saw the unedited version of you typing in the beginning part your graphic part I love it you are kicking ass man I love it and please make your videos longer Yup

Alright you're full of shit No We'll talk in chat later We'll talk in chat Everyone has one and destroys my videos Everyone has a different

opinion That's right 100% I love it You know you have full creative control You're giving the keys to the car Especially since the lion's mane The mushroom

Tony Explain it for the audience Let me tell you something I was talking with him Michael and I text a lot He's a shockingly fast I don't know if he does I don't know if he uses

voice activated I don't know how he does it You know it's not voice Whatever you don't know You know it's not voice That's for sure Because that would be

some tough I use this and then I love that thing I have that too I have that also Michael It's so good You could just walk around the house

and you just have the phone float in front of you Now in the future It's just going to be hovering in front of your face It's going to be amazing The liquor has kicked in It's scene number one Red Band has one of those But he uses it for a frosty from Wendy

He just sips it all day That's incredible But anyway Michael and I text a lot now And He turned me on to this lion's mane Because we were talking about how Unbelievable his brain is And he gives a lot of credit to that

Which helps your motor Norons and things like that It just keeps you fucking extra sharp And normally I'm not a big supplement guy And all that But it's been now It's been two weeks I'm looking at this website

What's the best one Yeah Yeah There is a specific company Paul Stamets He's a Rogan friend He's known there all the time Yeah I think

But his company makes them Yeah Paul Stamets He's the four most Mushroom mushroom In their country And just like magic mushrooms They have so many different benefits

And qualities in this and that I've been trying to sharpen up Because I've been fucking Not performing in this and that And you don't know exactly Where your brain is at in this stuff I mean I don't know I'm pretty positive it's fucking working

I think it makes me I get shit done faster And get to relax quicker in the day Because I take care of all my crap Ola early in the morning And clear thoughts And I was riffing this weekend on stage And I've been doing it for three and a half months

It was my first time performing with Lions main running through my veins What's the effects I just think it's just normal sharpness Just like sort of anything You know what I mean I've heard of people that have concussions Eating it to sort of like help their rehabilitation

Oh yeah It's um Motor neuron Neuron That's good for your brain is the point And Michael Michael hooked it up What if you take it that

And afro brain At the same time Alpha brain Oh boy I'm thinking of Aphrodite I'll do the butt Can you hear me Yes we hear you Michael

Isn't it crazy that David got stone cold sober Looking at red band Everybody's wasted today Michael go ahead Alright You know how I'm melting Yeah Alright

So I know everyone That asked you That asked Joe Rogan And you know I'm not that guy But Tell him You have a friend who is melting And that's

Pauly mushrooms If he has any mushrooms Then maybe help me And I take these mushrooms Four times a day Okay I will ask Joe Rogan That's not a problem at all I will ask Joe if Pauly mushrooms

Has any special mushrooms for my friend That is melting Lou Gehrig's disease A few years into ALS And if he has anything special And that he takes his mushrooms four times a day And if he has anything extra That would be great to know Right? Is that right?

Why were you talking shit That you couldn't understand Oh And you got all of it right No you know What happened is that you sobered up When you saw red band as well And you actually sobered up through this

Interview as well Something about afro brain Sobered up everybody What is he talking about Oh my goodness The sound effects are loud everybody Michael we love you Thank you so much

You're the fucking king You're a god I love you guys I have a bus every week And in five minutes I'm gonna start Yeah We love it all right

Michael we love you have a good night buddy There goes Michael Lair everyone The great Ryan Jebel drew tonight's episode Believe it or not And that is right here Here's the drawing Look at that Oh my goodness gracious

How fucking cool is that It's like a mega man type of Is that right What is that It's very cool That is so cool That's pretty much it That's incredible

Yeah that is awesome Man he did that from the start Of the episode to now While you all sat around doing probably less than Nothing he completed that entire Project just incredible Every prince available He's doing incredible auctions right now

He is giving You all an opportunity To To get State of the art kill Tony artwork At a fun price And it all goes to a good cause Ryan Jebel

Support your local white artist You know what I mean all this stuff going on People are forgetting about white artists Out there and Ryan J You know what We could actually go to his website right now And look at it Ryanjebel.com

Ryan Here we go We're going to ryanjebel.com For the first time in this show's history Here we go What is this Get out of here Alright

Look at that Here we go And then you're gonna go to Kill Tony There it is Easy to navigate website Look at that Look at all that incredible artwork

Uh oh Look at that an oldie but a goodie I remember that episode Ian Edwards You got a bunch of good ones in here There goes Burt Kreischer And Kirk Fox right there

I remember that one very clearly Goes on and on There's so many that's Sinbad And Dan Saint Germain Indeed Not Sinbad Sorry Ryan

My goodness A bunch of dates going up Everything's happening Just signed on today to do La Jolla July 9th through the 12th Unfortunately and trust me I fought long and hard for this But unfortunately we can't do a Kill Tony

That week Unless we do like a hotel episode I don't know what that means At all Do I not miss the days of you drinking during Kill Tony This is exciting This is a great reminder of the difference Anyway

But I have a new website TonyHinchCliff.com I mean not new they just revamped it It's a little bit sleeker Easier to see the upcoming tour dates Even though never a worse time to have Clean, sleek Upcoming tour dates on your website Perfect timing Tony

Such a great business man But a bunch of dates are there We're going to try our best to make it to these things It's a nightmare I'm booked for Miami At the end of July Look at Tony's new website Look at that straight to the dates baby

Look at that That's what I wanted Said fuck this shit give them the dates They're like what about your bio I like it too because you can click on Just the kill Tony dates Very clear now That was a thing that annoyed me forever

There's Kill Tony If you want to see me do stand up That's TonyHinchCliff There's stuff coming up Go wait scroll up a second Let me just show you Okay Boston's there and then Miami's Above Boston right

It's pretty much all the highest COVID rated cities I turned down Phoenix Last week It's only on the table for a second I'm like no What are we talking about Like do you have a life insurance policy

Out on me right now Like what's happening Phoenix, Miami, Houston Brazil They've tried to get me to Brazil No I'm kidding Anyway it's all happening We're having a lot of fun over there

We're at over 100 students On my new weekly show If you're poor don't even Tease yourself by going to my Patreon Because it is a show Of value Don't go there and then become completely Depressed

I'll just watch reruns of Joe Rogan Yes yes you will Because you're poor But if you're not poor go to patreon.com And join the new class You get a diploma, a bumper stick Or a bunch of cool shit at Roastmaster class Anyway here's the rest of the crew

The leader of the band ladies and gentlemen As always My lover, a guy who I've been all around The world with We talked earlier about Afro's Butthole or vagina, this is a man That I would have sex with if he let me Jeremiah Watkins

I don't know, I'm trying to be nice Hey There it is And he's back people, Vin Mo At Jeremiah Dash Watkins And Michael Lair is on We had a great conversation And a lot of fun improv on there

And will you tell us what the fuck you were talking About earlier though with the Like the Will Arnett Not Will Arnett, but uh Okay, Brian And then I'll actually be at The Tempe Emperor of Headlining a couple of nights At the end of July

So see you at Tempe And good to be back guys There you go, you're getting the weekends That I'm turning down I'm just kidding, the Tempe Improv One of the best clubs in the country Jeremiah is a monster He's out there doing great material

And taking risks Making videos for you people Doing crowd work, a bunch of fun stuff Jeremiah Watkins, catch him at Everything Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez was here Tonight, I'm gonna let you guys in on a secret He was

The ninja Then he was the ninja the whole time Joel, tell us something You got the Mostly Sorry podcast You're Mostly Sorry on social media, what else? That's it, we premiere the new episode tomorrow We've been doing live chats, so tomorrow Five o'clock LA time, whatever the fuck else

We love Joel, no one's had more corona Scares than this guy, I mean it is incredible Can I just say too When I got here David did something and then his spit Flew into my eye, this whole show That is all I've been thinking about I put Purell on my face

I'm freaking out, I'm gonna go home Probably get tested again this week That's good Motherfucker you good, I ain't got shit Damn right, David Lucas At David Lucas, funny Tell us more We'll see what's up man

Hopefully I'll be in La Jolla with Tony The day two talking about But other than that, I ain't got shit I just did the American Company This past weekend in San Diego Shout out to them boys down there Those lovely thanks for everybody who came out Thanks for all the Kill Tony fans who came

A lot of Kill Tony fans showed up And showed the fuck out Kill Tony fans are the best comedy fans In the world, there's no doubt about it Who would have guessed that People who watch a show where comedians Talk to comedians about comedy Who would guess that they would be the best

Comedy fans And also David Lucas's Episode of He's a guest professor on this Episode that just dropped last night On the new Roastmaster class And you were an Incredible interview, he talks about his method

Which is very helpful For people that are just learning how to make fun of people About identifying people As the animal that they look closest like And then a hobby that you, that animal Would do, it's incredible, he literally gives You a A playbook

On how to have silly fun Roast jokes, it's really cool It was two hours You and I spent together almost Anyway Red Band Hey guys, we are recording right now From Death Squad Studios

We do a podcast called Dead Air Every Tuesday with Brian Holtzman And then William Montgomery And David Lucas every Wednesday Check it out, Death Squad.TV Fuck yeah, Red Band's about to vomit right now This guy's drunk, I haven't seen you This drunk in three and a half months

What is this? San Francisco? Oh no Good night everybody Thanks for watching!