KILL TONY - KT #463 – QUARANTINED #18

Episode Date: July 17, 2020

David Lucas, William Montgomery, Michael Lehrer, David Deery, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban – Date: 07/08/2020

Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, DeathSquad.tv. There you have everything Kill Tony, including past episodes, video portions to the show, and you could also click on tour dates to see if we're touring anywhere. That's DeathSquad.tv. Tony has his own website, go to TonyHinchCliff.com. There you have everything Golden Pony, including his own tour dates and his merch. That's TonyHinchCliff.com. Ryan J. Ebelt, he's the house artist. He draws every episode, and he sells prints of them. Go to RyanJEbelt.com and pick up some cool Kill Tony stuff. And last but not least, the official merchandise of the DeathSquad universe is ShopSquad.tv.

There you got some DeathSquad hats, shirts, and you also got some Kill Tony shirts left. That's at ShopSquad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Band, coming to you live from the World Famous Comedy Store main room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony HinchCliff. Yeah, here we are again, live from the World Famous. Brian Red Band, how are you? Hey, how's it going, Tony? Good. Good to be here. Happy to be here at the comedy store yet again for another episode of Kill Tony. We have a fun show lined up for you as always. We just ate some delicious Vitos pizza, and I'm very excited to have that in my belly. The great Ryan J.

Ebelt is here, ladies and gentlemen, drawing tonight's episode live from right here at the comedy store. I'm all jacked up on amazing caveman coffee. Me too. Gotta get that new new tea they got. That's so good. The hibiscus tea. You put it over some ice and kicks it up to a whole other level and get all that at cavemancoffeecode.com. Type in the promo code Kill Tony. Save some money. Ryanjebelt.com has every print available of Kill Tony ever, and it's also being auctioned off as of late. So follow him on social media at Ryan J. Ebelt. So yeah, exciting, exciting stuff, Brian Red Band. A lot of wild stuff happening. Good job on the fight companion, man. That was a great episode. You and Joey Diaz.

Very exciting to fill in for the COVID brothers, Brendan and Brian Callan. Because Brian Callan's almost dead. Yeah, it affects the people in that age range very deeply. 70 to 75, yeah. So they were doing meet and greets after some shows in Texas. Meathead and greets perhaps is what it could be called. Meathead and greet heads, perhaps we could call it. But yeah, now's a good time to not do meet and greets. No doubt. Just going to Texas alone is pretty dangerous. If you want to get a photo with your favorite comedian, now's a good time to learn how to photoshop. Just put yourself in there. You and your favorite comedian right in front of Mount Rushmore. Or perhaps an ocean, or perhaps a,

you know, you really have a stonehenge behind you. Yeah, you could do it in Zoom. Yeah. I have a picture of me and George Carlin outside of the comedy store. Wow. Yeah. I got a recent picture with Robin Williams. All right. Anyway, exciting stuff. And as always here on Kill Tony, we always have the coolest sponsors. And I am so excited to talk about this one tonight. Because our newest sponsor, Lucy Nicotine, is a company founded by former smokers like us, who are finally making tobacco alternatives that don't suck. It's 2020. Get rid of your cigarettes, unplug your vape, throw out your tins of dip and go get some Lucy Nicotine gum or lozenges that actually taste great. Now, I still vape sometimes, but I've cut way back

thanks to Lucy Nicotine gum. And as you know, I used to smoke cigarettes continuously up until two years ago. Both of my parents smoked when I was growing up. My dad's still a heavy smoker. It's 72. And it just runs through my blood, man. I'm sure they were both smoking when they made me, when they were banging it out. So I have Nicotine deprivation just in my blood. So that Nicotine means a lot to me. And Lucy gum is a fun way to get it through my system. Healthier, better way. Yeah, you know, it's almost like a habit thing. You're constantly wanting to fidget or do something with your mouth. And you know, those jewels, I'm always constantly puffing on it. And I don't need to. The great thing about this gum, it's a taste grade. And once you have

it in your mouth, you just kind of chew it once in a while and it just kills all cravings. I love it. I used to not be able to eat or chew this gum because of the taste and this tastes amazing. I have the winter green. I have the cinnamon. It is unbelievable. It is incredible. A subscription to Lucy comes directly to your door each month. So, so, so simple. It's 2020. Lucy has delivery down. This is the real deal. Use the promo code killtony and you will get your first trial order of gum or lozenges at the lowest price they're allowed by law to charge you. The government has rules against giving Nicotine away for free. The team at Lucy is working with us and our partners to get you your first trial order of gum for right around a dollar and lozenges at two dollars.

Go to Lucy.co. Use promo code killtony at checkout and get rid of your old cigarette survey today. There you go. And so it continues. Another episode of Kill Tony, live from the comedy store, begins now. We have four pre-selected sign-ups in the bucket. Recommendations from people close to the store and one new comedian and one that we met during the quarantine that we said should come to the comedy store and sign up when things get back and they are back. So, we're going to meet them tonight. However, before we get to the bucket, ladies and gentlemen, there is a band on this show. Every week, they commit to being different characters. We never know what they're going to be and what they're going to do. Ladies and gentlemen,

I do present to you right now the best stand band on the land. It is the Kill Tony band, Jeremiah Watkins, Jetsky, Jesse Johnson, Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez, and Prova Chris. Jetsky Johnson. I'm so excited about this. This is the first time we've had all four band members in over four months. I know. Can you believe that? Welcome back, Jesse. Incredible. We're all perfectly spaced out, a perfect six feet apart, and we are back. What's your name, head flight attendant? My name's Gavin, but you can call me whatever you want. Gavin? Gavin, yeah. Gavin, okay. And this young lady, hello, how are you? Hello, I want to thank you for flying Kill Tony. My name's Sandra. I want to remind you in the

unlikely chance that we do crash that Red Band can be used as a flotation device. I love it. And this, Jesse, we can also use Tony because he is also full of hot air. Oh, there you go. Very good. Absolutely. And what's your name, little Mexican blonde boy? Excuse me. My name's Dylan, and I'm here to serve hot nuts. Okay. Very good. I'm being informed that my name is actually Daryl right now. So it's Daryl. Wow, those, that high elevations. Getting to his head. That's right. And how about you, a bass player? Oh, hey, Tony, my name is Chris with a K. I'm the, I'm the lead bartender on the plane. Okay. I've been stealing for years. Oh my goodness. All right. Well, okay, we have flight attendants here tonight,

Southwest flight attendants. I'm very excited about this. And let's have some fun, shall we? You guys want to grab your instruments because we're about to get this party started right now, and we're getting it started with a bang. Normally, this guy is what we would consider in the business a closer. However, we're going to have some fun tonight and get the episode started with him. Ladies and gentlemen, one of my favorite human beings on the planet, the dark Lord of regulars in the history of kill Tony. Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only Michael layer. Everybody here we go. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Michael layer. Everyone here we go.

I'm going to move up there. Yeah. It's very important that part. There we go. All right. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Michael layer. models by using her manpower. Holly Berry said she won't play a transsexual. Hopefully she plays that waitersick and gets a doggy from Billy Bob Thornton that was hot as fuck. And she won an Oscar dance with the partner you brought to the party. Speaking of party shout out to go bond medicated pattern for making my boys feel like they can lick all day living in the moment. No regrets. One regret. I wish my

generation as much passion as this generation for eating the nice man. The band sounds great tonight. Little ace of spades for Motorhead with our very own Motorhead himself. Michael layer getting things kick started here. Yeah, that was awesome. Even better than the band. The fucking audience. The audience. Yeah. Yeah, the audience rocks. I love you guys. Heck yeah. Hell yeah. Michael fully hallucinating that there's an audience in the room right now. This is exciting. That ALS medicine must be fucking bumping right now. Man, it's so good. I buy it in the alley and it's awful label. You get your ALS medicine in alleyway. Yeah. Wow. That's Medicaid. Oh, OK. You know, HMO. HMO. I notice you have like a spray

bottle. Is that for your nurse slash girlfriend or no. Because of my over my disease that I get overheated a lot. Oh, look at that. That's fucking hot. Wow. Yeah. I like that. That was sexual. Thank you. Yeah. But I've been working on my physical therapy because the thing is I can't walk but I can stand. So I'm working on standing for a set and I'm in crazy good shape. Hold on. Oh shit. Are you about to try to stand up right now? No, I'm fine. Oh fuck. I mean no. I got water socks on. Oh, what are water socks exactly? They so I know. What could those be? You just spray. That's that's what the water socks are for in case he collects in his socks. In case he sprays. Oh, water socks. Michael, are you purposely wearing your glasses like

Weekend of Bernie's right now? Yeah. Weekend of Bernie's was my comedy inspiration because I knew I'd be dead before I became before I finished being a comedian. How long are we allowed to do that to your body after you pass away? We're going to Weekend of Bernie's you how long like we get like two months with your corpse or something? Well, it depends on what patreon you signed up for. Oh, okay. What's that? I got two fuckers. I like that. I'm sharpest attacks. All right, let me see. You are. You are sharper than tax day. You are right. Yeah, a proofing. All right. Wow. I want to improvise and want to stand up. So give me a suggestion. You wanted to do what? A suggestion? Yeah, I improvised a stand up joke. Okay, a Jewish

deli. All right. Hey, how about those Jewish delis all clothes now cuz the corona? Hey, if you hate the Jews, the Chinese, the fucking virus took care of them for you. Oh my God. All right. Wow, we got to see what fucking level 30 second city gets you right there. That is some of the best. That's some of the best improv I've ever seen in my life. Fuck you Jewish delis. That is a big fuck you. COVID took care of them. Didn't I? I am. I'm recently heard from my doctors. They think that maybe I should go for a testing, but I might not have a way or less. I might just be an alcoholic drug addict. Oh, yeah, so crush your fingers. Yeah, I will. I will crush. I will definitely crush my fingers and oh.

No, yeah, I'm doing magic. I learned magic. You learned how to do magic during quarantine. Can I show you? Oh, please, if you're going to do a magic trick right now, I'm going to lose my mind with the band like you want some asus spades motorhead. It seems like yeah, whatever. All right, here we go. Here we go. All right. Oh, here he goes. Oh, it's happening. Oh, shit. That is toilet paper. Oh, no, he's making that come out of his penis. I do believe it's come this that hard. This is my favorite magic trick I've ever seen. This is this is clearly a side effect of ALS. You can't spell balls without ALS.

That is an incredible magic trick. It seems as though he's pulling a white plastic out of his penis, which the craziest part of this magic trick is that his hand is covering his penis and he still has his pants on. So it's crazy. It's going through his pants and there there it is. There it is. And he did it all while laughing very hard. Most magicians don't laugh that hard during their own tricks, but Tony. Yeah. Chroma Chris said is that his hospital bill receipt. Chroma Chris. I'm putting he deserves this. I'm gonna put this in the middle now. Oh my god, that is so fucking funny. My god, you are a man of so many talents, Michael Lair. It is absolutely

incredible. Now you can add comedy, improv, magic to it. Yeah. And you're doing something with film as well, right? Yeah, I'm entering a film common that's not tomorrow and they give you suggestions like Top Chef, you know, like you have a boomerang and an apple. What did they suggest to you, Jewish Deli? Yeah. And you want this one person in your film has to be has to be what? Disabled. Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm not doing mine alone, but I'm going to cross these fucking disabled film. Yeah. What do you do? Do you have an idea what you're going to do? No, they give you the suggestion tomorrow. That's even better. Talk about wheelhouse. Yeah. No, definitely. That's all you. So you're going to do a monologue tomorrow? No, I'll get the suggestion

of what to make the film about tomorrow. And then I'll have like four days to make the film. And it's for Easter Seals. And then there'll be an industry panel. And when I win, I'll tell them all to go fuck themselves. Yeah. What is the prize? Do you get like a cure or something? Yeah, you get a meal code car, you fucking, fun, fun. And that's for that. That's for Easter Seals. Yeah. Easter Seals. Okay. Okay. Okay. Wow. Somebody's really on their game today. Let's talk about that set a little bit. Were you talking about I got I got I got I lost a part at a second. You were talking about Angelina Jolie. No, I'm Holly Baron. Oh, okay. Yeah,

I miss that part. I caught back up at gold bond powder, though. Oh, you know, I was using gold bond recently. And I guess my balls got so sweaty that it just made like a like a dough. Oh, wow. That's completely fucking. Barf bags at your seat. This episode is sponsored by veto's pizza. Go get your veto's pizza and the fresh dough. Oh my god. When you do you put the gold bond on yourself or you have someone do that for you, you know, you put that on yourself. I picture I picture your balls just look like the table from Scarface just a big white pile of powder. It's fucking nice. I pile it up. I have a like $1,000 monthly gold bond button. You have a $1,000 monthly robot button. Gold bond. Oh, gold bond. Gold bond budget. I thought you

said a robot button. Hey, maybe I should sit up and speak clearly. Yeah, no, you're doing good. This is great. All right. I love the look. I love everything that's going on here. So now that I know it was Halle Berry. Yes. What did you say again? I said Halle Berry is turned down a role that play a transgender person. And I hope and said she plays that waitress again. Who is the doggy from Billy Bob Thorne because it was hot as fucking and she won an Oscar. Oh, yeah. And then when you say this generation eating ass better than our generation, you're so like you're talking about the people that are kids now. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I really don't see I don't I it'll be interesting to see what happens there. What do you mean? Well,

I mean it just they're already doing it Tony. Are they already eating each other's asses? I feel like I feel like I don't know. I feel like this future generation, they're being raised with iPads and things like that. Yeah, with a bunch of pictures of assing and now they're all trying it. I don't know what the kids are doing nowadays. They're eating ass. They are. How do you know this? I guess I used to date younger people. Wow. Look at this. Got a little fucking little bit of that deli over there. Yeah. You know, I think it's true because they're watching all the craziest porn now. You know, like the kids aren't looking at playboys. They're looking at what you're absolutely right. That's a really good point. Ass eating is like just fucking that's first base for them.

Yeah, as eating is a new missionary. Yeah, man. Yeah, I wonder what's next. I wonder what what I wonder what the like, where do we go from here? If they're desensitized to that level. How's it going out in the parking lot, Mike? Everything's good. Two thumbs up. Shout out to the audience. It's live in the parking lot right now joining us. It is wild times here at the comedy store during this new normal. They're calling it the people are calling it. So yeah, Michael, you eat ass and you've had your ass eaten. Is that correct? Yeah. Which one do you prefer the most? Eating ass or having your ass eat? Modern day. Modern day. Michael Lair getting your ass eaten. I'd imagine there has to be a little

bit of cleaning that goes on before. I don't know if you noticed, but when he stood up, there was a hole cut out in the seat of his chair. Oh, wow. I am my ass eaten once. Why? Why never again? You didn't like it? No. What what what did it do for you? Nothing. If it did something, I wouldn't invite him more. I just noticed something Michael does. I've never noticed before. A lot of times he has his hand out just like Yoda from the millennium. Yeah, he's got the force. Yeah, the little baby Yoda when he puts his hand out. Wow. I actually felt something when you did that. I felt a little tingle. Oh my.

Whoa. I'm your leader. Oh my God. That is incredible. Do it one more time. Hold on. Hold on one second. Wait. Give us a second. Okay. Do it one more time in your hand. I'm your leader. Give me one. Whoa. I can't really hear the sound effect. Oh, okay. He's not doing it anymore. None of this is working. Stop. Stop. Stop. Everybody stop. Michael, anything else before we let you make it a funny face? I don't know. I mean, I'm thinking one more. Red Rover. Red Rover. I think it went all right. I hate when I don't talk clear because I'm not drunk

or too high. The laughing is because of the disease. So take it easy. We love you. We wouldn't change a goddamn thing. Thank you. I love you guys. Michael lights out Lair everybody. There we go. That's a way to get the party started here tonight with the beautifully great comedy stylings of Michael Lair. Everyone loves that. There's a little switch to the batting order for you tonight. Starting out with our cleanup hitter, our power hitter, right from the get. We have some wacky sign ups tonight. I'm excited to see what happens here. A lot of new faces. Are the comedians that are in the bucket actually in here? They are a couple are in the back there and the others are outside patiently awaiting. There's like a 20 second delay out there.

Oh, well, whatever happens happens. But your first comedian we met him over the quarantine. This guy is a roast battle extraordinaire. This is one of my favorite roast battlers. He's probably already on his way to the stage if there's a 20 second delay. Ladies and gentlemen, this is definitely one of our favorite people that we met over the quarantine. A true California native, the one, the only Los digits, everyone, for his first time live in the main room of the comedy store. I'll be back again leaving on a jet plane. Yeah. Yeah.

Here he comes. Los digits, everybody. Here he is. Right there, right there, right there. Hey, what's up? Here he is. One more time for Los digits. What's up, fools? Sorry to start my minute now. As you can tell, our Mexican is fuck. Yeah, us Mexicans don't really keep jobs, man. We got a lot of fucking jobs, but we don't really seem to hold them. See, I've been a fucking working at a taco truck out here in LA. It's hard out here in LA to keep a fucking job, man, because in LA, man, you got to be skilled

on some weird ass shit, man. I got fired for not flipping tortillas, right? And that's kind of like a fucking disrespect to my own fucking family, man, because I was raised doing the tortilla bit, you know? I was fucking a tortilla flipper for ages, man. When this bitch told me not to flip a tortilla, she said, I go home. I said, what the fuck, bitch? How do you not know how to flip a tortilla? See, I don't know there's a tortilla college out there that's teaching this kind of shit, man, but I want to be informed because when I flip tortillas, man, see, it's a long bit about tortillas because see, I got my heart filled on tortillas. So there's a lot of shit, you know, a lot of compassion when it comes to tortillas, man. And I hate cats, man.

There you go. Los digits with 60 seconds and a little bit of change. You stay right there, digits. We're going to interview you now. That set was incredibly Mexican. That was so Mexican. That made Joel Jimenez look like a blonde flight attendant named Daryl. That's how Mexican that was. A lot of tortillas in that set. Yeah, man, I fucked it up. I was going to do some other shit, but I was feeling it. I like it. Is that a true story? Yeah, it's a true story, man. You got fired because you wouldn't flip the tortillas. Because I didn't know how to flip a tortilla right, man. And that kind of blew me up. I mean, the right way. With your bare hands. No, I was doing it the right way, man. I was

working at a taco truck in downtown LA, man. And what did they they what did they tell you that you were supposed to do? Use some now that I was slow, man. And I was like, what the fuck was the science behind this? They're like, ain't no science, man. I was fucking fast as fuck. Is that what you I feel like you wore that inside the taco truck sunglasses, ball cap. Well, that's pretty much why they kick me out to okay. Fuck yeah. What's up, Tony? Everything's good, dude. I'm I'm excited to have you on the show. I actually wrote, man, but I wasn't feeling the biz. So I just fucking, you know what? It's good. Sometimes you got to call audibles and whatnot. What are you sipping on there? You got a little bit of a man that $5 beer does so I can

have $5. What are they selling for $5? Of course, life. Who am I getting paid for this? Wow. $5 beer, man. We'll get some Coors light. My goodness. $5 only for a drink at the comments. Keg originally opened in February. No, I love it. That's incredible. They are turning $4 and 99 and a half cents profit per every cup. It is. He wants it to my cousin out there. Look at her. There he is. Joel, have you ever met Los digits before? You guys are both Mexican. You probably slept in the same car at some point or exactly. How did you know that, Tony? Okay. There you go. Sorry, I farted. Digits. What's your living situation during this quarantine? I mean, I'm staying live, dog.

Yeah. You live by yourself? Yeah. Well, right now I'm in downtown LA, dog, but I'm flying like back and forth, because I'm like just working out there in the valley in the Coachella Valley, you know, staying out there with my brother and then coming back to downtown. That's cool. But I'm here for a couple days now. So what's your brother do? My brother, he's a fucking IT or some shit. Oh, he has a pretty good pad. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's cool. Just chilling out. You have a girlfriend right now? No, man. Not at the moment. Hell no. Well, well, well, well. But I like that guy though. Can I get those digits? Haha. You can get some. This is Gavin. He's a gay flight attendant. Oh, he's gay. Not nevermind. Gavin, what would you do to digits

if you had a chance? I would rip open his phone book. Oh my goodness. In Spanish, we call him tromputos. Tromputos. I love that. So how about how about your love life? What's that been looking like digits? I mean, it's alright, dog. You know, I get some here and there. You on like the dating sites or something like that. I'm on the real life shit. What do you do when you go up to a girl like what's your opening pickup line? What's up fool? Oh, I like that. I like that. Sometimes you got to talk down to him. Let him know who's boss. Call him a fool right away. Third word. Yeah, you can't let him have that high horse. Come on. Somehow you're harder to understand than Michael Lair. I love it. Can I do my improv? Yeah, I think we already are. Can I get a suggestion? I heard

tortilla. Okay, I'll go with that. You want to hear the tortilla bit again? It's about flipping tortillas. Digits, you ever get in trouble with the police? Yeah, man, a couple times. I used to be a graffiti writer. Oh, that's right. I talked to you about this. That's where digits came from. You ever do any famous graffiti that we could see around town? You ever draw like Kobe Bryant or anything like that? No, I never read that. But I've read it on billboards. You've probably seen them before. Yeah, I think so during the looting a few months ago. I think I saw some of your work. Yeah, I got shoes for sale too, man. What are you talking about? I love it, bro. What else about you? What else? Do you know any magic tricks or anything like that? Do I know magic tricks with

the fuck? Yeah, do you know? Do you have any like special skills or talents? Yeah, actually, I used to do magic when I was a kid and shit. Yeah, do you have a 20 on your 100? No, it only works with like high amount of money. No change. No, I don't have anything. That's fun, dude. That's exciting. What kind of car do you have? A Camry dog 2000 and something 2000 and not a mechanic for I just look like one. You don't know how to fix cars. If something happened to it, what would you do? Fucking car triple A door. I would not expect people to think you look like a mechanic the way you look like. No, I don't. I mean, yeah, I guess. Hell yeah. Absolutely. You call triple A a lot? No, hell no dog. My car is good. I just have it for backup. You feel me? Yeah,

absolutely. Have you modded out your car at all? Have you had it done? I mean, no. I added the seeds that drop lower. Oh, there we go. It's just a little engine. You got like neons inside your interior. No, man. I'm not a raver. Not a raver. Oh, what? A raver, fool. A raver. You're a fan of the Raiders, right? The Raiders? Yeah, I love the Raiders. And the Dodgers? The Dodgers, too. Just not the Dodger dogs. Well, they're too long. The Raiders, you like the Diaz brothers. Those are your favorite fighters. Oh, yeah. Fuck the Diaz brothers. I fucks with them. Name another sport. This is my talent. You name a sport. I could tell you digits, favorite athlete. I give you one. Golf is a hard one. Soccer, fool. Soccer. I'm going to go with

Mexico. The whole team. Yeah, it's good. Despite very few special skills and talents, if I was a guest, I was racing. Oh, yeah. Okay, there you go. You know, if I was on the show and somebody asked me what my special skills or talents would be, I would say that I could tell you any of digits, favorite athletes. That's a pretty good time to know because I don't know that shit either. I'm going to get your number right now. So I love it. Get an interview and shit. I'll let them know that you know more about me. I love it. I love it. Do you sleep with something like a teddy bear or a special pill? I sleep with a pit bull real tight. Really? Yeah, yeah. I fucking knew something my gut made me ask this question. You are like a you are a caricature

of a wild Los Angeles Mexican man. You sleep with a pit bull. What's the pit bull's name? It's actually bud. But you see, I named him bud, but now I became buddy because he sleeps with a rapper pit bull because I named him bud just because you know, we you know, and then I was just like my little buddy. So I just called him buddy fool. Oh, you brought him here. That's my other time before I could bark like a dog fool. Does buddy good with other dogs? Do you ever take him to the dog park? No, I mean, he's good when he grabs him by the neck. You know. Oh, Jesus. I feel like this is a bad dog. Does he wear the same sunglasses that you do? No, his is on. I buy him his own shit. Come on, fool digits. I love you, man. You are you are

you are hilarious. You are a serious man. No, not that serious fool. All right, fool. Well, I love you, fool. Love you too, ladies and gentlemen. That is digits live from kill Tony and the main room of the comedy story. Oh, thank you. Thank you, digits. Thank you, Tony by the party is. Fuck yeah. The great Lowe's digits. Fuck yeah, man. Everything's we have a lift off. We have reached our altitude. You can now take off your seat belts. Yeah. Yeah. Chroma so far with the joke of the night, the long receipt joke coming out of Michael layers. Well, what was that? That's my belt. Oh, Jesus. Why'd that come off? Oh, your seat belt.

I got it. Got it. Figured it out. Okay, pulled another name out of the bucket. Ladies and gentlemen, this is this guy's first time on the show. I found him. I discovered him in David Lucas, one of David Lucas's videos. He is here tonight to make his kill Tony debut 60 seconds and an interview from Jason Rodello. Everybody here we go. Yeah, yeah. I just want to fly. So high. Fly, fly, fly away up in the sky. Yeah. Oh boy. Baby, put your arms around me, baby. It really isn't 20 second delay. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, the kill Tony debut of Jason Rodello.

Hey, I'm still a riot. Pandemics. Will Smith marriage problems. These are the issues that I will not be discussing, but instead I'll tell you about my amazing wife. I know it's hard to believe I'm married, but I look like someone who just makes shitty tiktoks for a living or only masturbates to Ed Sheeran music playing, but I'm the marriage guy. I met my wife in Kazakhstan and Kazakh people are beautiful, man. They look Asian, but speak Russian. So they are the holy grail of wet dreams for red band. Am I right? Come on. Because Brian loves Asians. Juicy Asians, big tits bouncing, Oriental, anal, fart fucking, five and a half inch deep throat. Asian mom teaches daughter how to suck.

All right, there's Jason Rodello, everybody. Can I just say real quick that that sounds like a nightmare. An Asian that speaks Russian, something beautiful and one of the most horrible accents in the world. The Russians? You don't like a Russian accent? Oh, not on a woman. That just makes any woman. You like him on a man? Oh, yeah. It's okay. A man seems like it fits. I seem like a dangerous man.

James Bond spy, but on a woman. We finally found what kind of dude red bands in. Fuck yeah. I will break you. Red band. What about? I will bend you over. Red band.

Carl McRist said, what about a Russian woman with an Asian accent? Now that I could get into. I love it. I love it. So Jason Rodello, first time on the show. You are the first person in the history of the show that was born without a forehead. Not a lot of people know that. Oh, there it is.

Okay, there it is. There's one back there. I like your style, dude. My lady gave me that note, too. For a second, I thought you had a bicycle helmet on. But now you moved it back. I see there's a little something there. So well, well, yep.

I like his hair. It looks just like mine. Appreciate you, Cromwell. You're the man. Was that it? You just like, oh, you have the same hair. For those of you who listen, that was a visual joke. I see it now.

Mushroom hair. It's more for the visual watchers instead of the listeners. Yeah, I had no idea. I literally turned around like, what the fuck? And then I saw it. Jason, fuck you. How old are you, dude? 25.

Heck, yeah. 25. 25. This is the future. So let's go back. Let's let's ask a question from earlier. Michael Lair brought up this generation. Are they eating ass?

Are you eating ass? And have you had your ass eaten? Absolutely. But the ass eating part, or my ass being eaten, no, not yet. Right, it's covered in hair. I'm sure it's covered in hair. I see what your forehead looks like. I can't imagine what your butthead looks like.

Four. There you go. You know what that sound means? It's covered in hair. But you eat ass, huh? Occasionally, yeah. When I'm in the mood. It has to be a spicy night.

What do you mean by spicy night? You know, honestly, I would consider it's not a spicy night, to be honest. Like to celebrate. Like a night to sleep. Yeah, exactly. Special occasion, you know. Like in our days, eating ass was never even on the table.

We didn't even know about it. No, not on the table. It wasn't even an option. Yeah. And that was considered a bad decision. Nowadays, it's like the most exciting thing you can do. It's like proposing to the girl, basically. It's like I will eat your ass.

And when they clench up on your tongue, it feels so good. When Red Band does it, it literally makes me want to bomb it. I'm going to eat that workshop, Red Band. Yeah, let me know. Let me know. I love it. Can you show us what it looks like, what your face looks like when you're eating ass?

Oh, wow. Okay. All right. That's pretty good. You got that? He knows. Michael knows. That's great.

I like it. I like it. So Jason, you're 25. You born and raised here in Los Angeles? Yes, sir. Currently residing in Studio City. But yeah, I grew up in the Valley area, now in Studio City. Yep, Studio City.

And you'll lead that Studio City. What do you do for work? For work. I'm a professional dancer slash choreographer. Get the fuck out of here. Are you serious? Yeah. Can we get a little sample?

I mean, a little, sir. Wow. Wow. Oh, wow. Ha, ha, ha, ha. God damn, that is incredible. How long have you been doing that for? Since the age of 13.

Wow. Yeah. Me too. Yeah, can we see some of your dance moves? I mean, Jeremiah, we can do this, bro. Let's see some of you. Let's see some of you. Oh, dang.

Oh. This is the moment we locked eyes. You caught me by surprise. How do you love me? How long for your warm embrace? The caress of your face. We're here, just words. I think I need but you leave.

It's a beautiful night here. And then I know, what do you do? I need you. Yeah. And the thing that you do. And I need you. Okay. Nothing without you.

Yeah. I love it. Came all over my pants. This is the best day of my life. That is exciting. Gavin, dancing to the song. I need you from Jeremiah Watkins. You can check it out on his YouTube page.

It's a great, great song. Debut this week, number 2 million and 45 on the billboard chart. David, I will say this. I will say this is that that song, it might be one of the catchiest goddamn songs of all time. Oh, I can't stop singing it in my head. I always have to make the face that you make when you say the I word.

There's this face that you make or you go. I like when he goes like, look in my eyes and he goes. Yeah. No, yeah, he makes the same face that he did in his Black Lives Matter video that he made. It's serious. He gets serious. Jeremiah can be one of the silliest people in the world

and he can get serious like a motherfucker. Whoa. That will never not break me right in my fucking back. Oh, my meter's up. Oh, no, no, shit. He actually is putting money in his meter. Wait, we're in the sky right now. Where are you going?

Oh my god, he parachutes. He's gonna jump. He literally does have to put money in his meter. Fun fact for you listeners. We should talk about that because like before the show started, he goes, it's a two hour meter and he goes. And we're all in the room scattered around at the part of the show where we're eating pizza all six feet away

from each other. Thanks to our great friend Charlie from Vito's Pizza. He brings pizza every single week. Multiple pizzas of different kinds. We're all addicted to pizza. Everybody knows that. Anyway, and at one point while we're all just sort of getting ready but mentally preparing, Jeremiah goes Tony.

And I go, yes, Jeremiah. And he goes, my meter's up at about 850. What should I do? And I'm literally like, what the fuck? Put money in your, like have any one of the 70 people here. Put money in your meter. Or at like five minutes before we started the show, just put two quarters in.

Yeah, or two hours worth. We're really just any amount of money really. Just put, really do anything. I like that we're talking about this right now while he's walking through the audience and everybody's looking at him like, what the fuck's wrong with this guy? He's probably stopped and watching this right now,

being projected on the back wall of the comedy story. He's like, who are these guys? Okay, all right. I love it. So Jason, you're on the show for your first time. What's something else that we'd be interested to know about you? A fun fact about Jason Rodello that would surprise us. Your dancing has me very surprised.

On the spot, man. How did you learn how to do that? How does that come up in your life? Yeah, so initially I started dancing from a Chris Brown music video. That inspired me from the beginning. It was like a dancing vampire's called the wall to wall. Yeah, wall to wall.

And then yeah, from there, just I saw the reaction and got from my friends and it was just a feeling I couldn't escape. Similar to, you know, anyone doing comedy or just anything they enjoy doing. Yeah, that's super cool. You blow people's minds like at like weddings and big events and shit.

Absolutely. Oh, even bigger, man. Yeah. I do teach classes across the world, the whole international thing. That's how I met my wife. I mean, I can get into it if I need to again. That is so cool.

That's all the whole thing happened. And your wife took a dance class from you? Yeah, she owned a studio from the area that I met her in the different country. That's awesome. Right, man. I think you would like Kazakh people. That accent, man.

That's the only thing that drives me crazy. Really, damn. I was really banging off that joke, man. I thought I knew my stuff. Look at any beautiful Russian model, the most beautiful woman in the world, and the second she opens her mouth, they're like, it's horrible.

OK, we get it. There you go. The only, Red Band only likes Russian dudes and Russian salad dressing. OK. Those are the only two types of Russians. Actually, I got online notes. Good Russian.

Russians, what? That's basically Thousand Island, right? Yeah, yeah. You know what's weird? French salad dressing. What's weird about it? No one's into French. It's like ketchup almost.

No, it's not. What is it? It's not ketchup. I don't like it. I don't know what flavor it actually is, though. What is the flavor of French? No, it's not. It's not ketchup and mayo, Gino.

It's kind of like sweet and sour chicken, but something's missing from it. It's closer to that. David, do you know the answer to this? Yeah, I had a feeling. He's getting closer, closer to sweet mustard than anything else. Jason, how do you know David Lucas?

I saw you in a couple of his videos. And this is how the universe was. I know it wasn't from a dance class. Absolutely not, no. It was, I saw him. Well, I got into this show during the quarantine, surprisingly, and I just fell in love with him immediately. Watched every episode, like from the get-go.

I can't believe we made a fan during the quarantine. During the quarantine, fresh off the queue. And then one day he was just. Can you help us get back the 30,000 fans we lost during the quarantine? Oh, yeah, I can, man. Just kidding, go ahead. So French dressing is a creamy ketchup-based dressing.

Get the fuck out of here. I had no idea. Geno's right. It's made of oil, vinegar, ketchup, and sugar. Ketchup is in that? Isn't that weird? That is weird. Fuck French dressing.

I mean, I only really remember French dressing from, like, old-timey salad bars. Like, that would be the one that I picked long ago. I'm talking about Ponderosa. Remember Ponderosa? Ponderosa, hell yeah. I know Ponderosa. They have those in canvas.

I think it's an Ohio thing. Wow. Hey, French dressing and fries might be good. Mm, yeah. All right. So yeah, I met David in Studio City. No, yeah, at my apartment. He was just randomly in my hallway.

And I stopped him. But you know what? I knew how to not keep it, like, creepy. I was just like, David Lucas. Oh, it's Kill Tony. I'm a fan. Hey, I'll catch you around. That's so cool.

So you actually recognized him from Kill Tony. Oh, well, there you go. Literally, yeah. Fuck you. All right, Jason, it was nice to meet you. Thanks so much for coming on. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, Jason Rodello, everybody.

There he goes. Put your arms around me, baby. Put your arms around me, baby. I just want to fly. Yeah. All right. Two bucket pools. That means we are ready for another regular,

ladies and gentlemen. It is that magical, magical time of the show, where we get to see one of our favorite joke writers, one of the literally probably the, I mean, definitely the greatest roasting regular in the history of the show. One of my favorite people, just a great comedian, a great guy. Ladies and gentlemen, here he is.

David motherfucking Lucas, live in the flesh at the comedy store. Here he is, the real deal, David Lucas. The most scariest thing about the coronavirus was not getting pneumonia. The scariest thing for me was losing my sense of taste and smell. Like, you mean to tell me I can fry chicken and not smell

the motherfucking thing, then put my goddamn mask back on. But I don't hate masks. Like, who knew that mask would make women look so goddamn good? Like, as soon as you cover up her mouth and her nose, that bitch is attractive as fuck. Like, I think we need to keep masks for another 10 years. I might fuck around and get married.

This bitch can't say shit. She can't even breathe that good. Coronavirus is scary as fuck. I ain't really scared. I want to get coronavirus just to lose weight, you know what I'm saying? Because I heard motherfuckers losing like 20, 30 pounds. I'm like, maybe I need to get coronavirus for like six weeks.

That's my new diet plan and shit. Oh, there we go. Fuck yeah, David Lucas. Absolutely. That shit went fast as hell with no audience. I typed it out. It was a minute and 15. Then I come here.

That shit was 45 seconds. Happens quick sometimes. You never know when it's going to go down. I like the sad, fun stuff all about the corona. I believe it. I don't think you would. I don't think you'd really, I don't think you're one of the guys that would lose your taste and smell.

Let's check in with, let's check in with Sandra here, because Sandra, Sandy is fresh off of actually having the coronavirus. And from what I understand, you just lost your sense of smell. Just my sense of smell. That's it. Sometimes I would remember smells and I wasn't sure if I

was smelling it or just remembering. Wow, that's weird. You said you didn't lose taste, but when you can't smell anything, you can't taste anything. So I'm so confused about that. But I could. Right? Yeah, it's like, you know.

It makes no sense at all. It makes no sense. And yeah, I still can't really smell. Really? Yeah. Wow. So you might be musty. I can breathe.

You can breathe. I probably shouldn't do that. Do you know how you got it? But you can't smell. Because it seems like you didn't get it from any of us, because we, all of us, we have grown. Yeah, because none of us had it. Right.

All of us could get something. Welcome to another episode of Dr. Red Band, everybody. I know, but like, when Red Band found out I got it, his first words were, you're a dirty girl. I think I said something else. I don't think I said girl. Dirty whore. Dirty whore, I think is what I said.

Wow. He knows it if you're not feeling good. Dr. Red Band. Well, we know that you didn't get it from any of us. Dr. Red Band. So wow, this is interesting. On a very ass-eating, heavy episode of Kill Tony, it got started with Michael Lair.

You think we're finding out that now, with no sense of smell, perhaps Sandy, the flight attendant, is now into eating ass. Wow. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Everybody knows that. Turkeys and ass-eaters.

That's the noise that they make. Gobble. Have you ate an ass before? No, but if I lose my taste, I might go in there. Tony eat ass with a knife and a fork. Oh, come on, David. With a napkin in his shirt and all that type of shit. Look at that table, man, is what he eating ass.

Dude. Can I say? Right, I'm a gentleman. Let's hear it, Bob. Go ahead, Gavin. Oh, no, when I went to go refill my meter on the way out, David kind of shouted at me. He goes, hey, inward, fill my meter too.

And I just want to let the audience know I became fully erect. Wow. You really had to put money in your meter, too? Yeah, because me and a nigger parked at the same time. So I was like, hey, bro, you take your ass out there. I'm about to go next, put my shit in there, too. Damn.

Look at that. Do you ever put any of the chocolate coins that you keep on you at all times in the meter? Hey, man, get your ass up out of here, bro. I know, I know. They melt. They melt. You can't put those in the meter.

You got to pay a dildo meter, nigger, for that shit to turn on, man. A dildo meter? You got to put a court in your bed. In the middle of it, just move, and a dildo pop up. All right, I'll ask you, dude. Well, actually, yeah, that's actually true. That motherfucker Tony got to be chained up to go to sleep.

There you go. I just see what's your sleeping situation? You sleep in a food truck or something like that? Oh, get the fuck up out of here, bro. You sleep in a sleeping bag naked, nigger. Sounds good, actually. Yeah, I mean, that's actually really cozy. And motherfucker Tony sleep next to a boa constrictor.

Well, that's actually true. I have a boa constrictor. His name's Buddy. Buddy of the boa. I just, at one point, I just named him Bud. You look like you're a name of Snake Enter. OK. All right, not all of us.

No audience here. God, damn, this shit is fucked. I don't even want to roast anyone. Not all of us are lucky enough. I mean, do you have any pets? Hell, no, kids. I mean, a kid? Oh, yeah, you have one of those pet kids.

I got an STD, a kid. Damn, damn. Why no pets, though? Did you just have a new kid recently? Is that a, I heard a rumor that you had a new baby. A rumor? With a white chick? What a white chick?

Who told you all about that? The chick is? Someone said I can't even remember. I did. I'm a gossiper up in the sky. I'll plead the fifth. Oh. You just, damn.

You said why no pets right, man? Because I ain't got time to take care of shit. Another mouth to feed, hell no. Right, especially with your mouth to feed, that's a lot. Deal, though. Deal, though. All right. So what else is going on, David Lucas?

Shit ain't shit changed since last week's show. What were you doing in that hallway when you met Jason Rodello? I was at my brother's house. I'm gonna fucking leave out a lot of shit. My brother lived in the same building he lived in. Oh, OK. So I went over to his house to check on him and shit.

How many brothers do you have? Just one. He lives in Studio City? He lived right over here for me. He's an entrepreneur. Oh, shit. Damn, so he sells CDs at Hollywood and Highland? Shit, that motherfucker paid more rent than me, bro.

He's selling something. Damn. You don't know exactly what he does. He just tells you that. He got t-shirt business, like vintage t-shirts. Oh, all right. Come with an A-ball? Something like that, yeah.

So what he really does, he goes to, you know, we got Hella Place in LA that sell secondhand clothes. So he'll go get them, take them to the dry cleaners, and sell them bitches online for $150. Damn. Yeah, and he buys them for like $20. Damn. Because everybody doesn't have access to that across the United

States. In LA, we got a whole bunch of rich motherfuckers who, when shit go out of style, they turn it right in, and then you can sell it online. It's a profitable business. Hell, yeah. Your brother's flipping clothes like digits, flips, tortillas. Oh, yeah.

And what's that? What are you wearing? What is that tie dye? Oh, this is Pharrell's brain. Oh. Yeah, this is Pharrell's brain. OK. How much does something like that run?

Like $85, $90. Even for your size? Yeah. It's not more? For your size, it'll be free, you anorexic motherfucker. Fucking. Fucking Wi-Fi cable built, motherfucker. That shirt is actually the sleeping bag

that I sleep naked in. You won't. I don't know what kind of sleeping bag you won't. I love it. So nothing's changed since last week, except for you may or may not have had a new child. I ain't had no new child last week. I can guarantee that.

If I, damn, that is, no, no. Wow. I feel like that's a true rumor, how he's acting, don't you think? It might be. I don't know. This is, this is weird. This is one of the more suspicious moments

in the history of David Lucas being on the news. Why y'all got to put all the pressure on the black man? Y'all don't do none of the white comedians. Like, why y'all don't assume William got a kid? Because they come out like puddles. They can't form. And you know Michael ain't got no fuck. Well, he got an old ass kid, but he

having no kids right now. He's not, he's not doing new kids at all. Hell yeah. He's got no, he got a bump. Coaches would have bested to get a pregnant. Michael does? Yeah. Why would he have to?

He doesn't have a vagina. Because he got ALS, so he got a, I mean, if his body's paralyzed, I imagine. Oh, it works down there. Oh, shit. God damn, God damn. He gets to board the flight first, obviously. First class, first ass.

Wow. Look at that. That's hella funny, the first class. All right, David. I've never been on an airplane with a motherfucking wheelchair. That's crazy, though, and I fly a lot. I've been on an airplane with a midget, but never. You had sex with a midget?

No, nigga. You ain't listening. I said I've never been on an airplane with a person in a wheelchair, but I've been on a plane with a midget. I've been on a plane with a midget before as well. Were you with me on that? Is that that one?

I know I must have told you about it, but. You tell me anecdotes, and I just listen and, you know. Anyway, there is a comedian who is a midget, and one time we were on the same flight, and he was actually one row ahead of me, which, you know, street cred is you always want to be in front of people. And I remember he goes, hey, Tony, and he was in the row in front of me and across the aisle.

And I remember being like, fuck, I can't believe he has a better seat than me, right? And then right as I was really like a minute after I was jealous of his better seat, he stood up on the chair and adjusted the air vent, like he was changing a light bulb. And then I was like, you know what, I'm not jealous anymore. Oh, no, bro.

Midgets actually give me anxiety, though. I will never forget that moment. And you have not held in a laugh in your life until you see a midget turning off the air vent, standing up on a chair. They would have put me off the plane. I'd have been laughing so hard. Oh, I know.

I almost said to throw up in one of those barf bags. It was incredible. Do you ever notice that midget women always have fat asses, bro? Dude, they are natural pogs. Would you hit one? No. I mean, it'd be the best flashlight ever.

If I was in the desert by myself, if I was in the desert by myself, like three hours into a mushroom trip and like a hot midget appeared out of nowhere, I don't know, I might do something. You don't think that would be hot? Just like, why not? I guess not.

What would you do? What would you do? What would you do? Red band would feed that bitch first. Right when I thought about it, it just heard like that. Wait, what? You think midgets are hot? When I wake up in the morning.

You think midgets are like kids? Well, I mean, that's what I was thinking. I was imagining her writing me, but then it'd be like, it would be like a little kid. I don't know. Oh, my God. Red band just disgusting. I think that as much as it seems hot,

it just seems like it wouldn't be hot. All right. Somehow red band made having sex with a midget even more gross than it already was. Red band on his crystal ear shit with that pink microphone trying to attract kids and shit. Oh, come on. My pink and purple microphone.

I thought you was on Fisher Price's shit right now, bro. You got a purple and pink shirt on. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Bro, you got two dolphins kissing on a hat, like. Yeah. Yeah, I used to be able to wear this hat until somebody released a comedy special. OK.

What? Joggedy panting. I love what Tony's like, OK, we got to wrap this shit up. I love it. Absolutely. We do. You are turning more and more into a big bundle of cotton candy every second that you stand there.

Getting stronger, too, bro. I love it. You've been working out? Yeah. What have you been doing? Lifting food up to your mouth? Nope. All right.

All right, David, so much fun. Good to have you on the show. Good to see everybody. On to the next one. We go. Ooh. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Why?

Because I got a, because I got a, because I got a. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. All right, your next comedian is also his first time on the show. Ladies and gentlemen, this young man I met a few days ago here at the comedy store. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for him. It's Malsha, everyone.

Malsha. Here we go. Malsha, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, you. Malsha. Malsha. Malsha. Step back from that ledge, my friend.

Step back from that ledge, my friend. Step back from that ledge, my friend. Step back from that ledge, my friend. Step back from that ledge, my friend. Step back from that ledge, my friend. All right, here he is, Malsha. It's Mo-ha, Mo-ha. So the other day I was walking around in my neighborhood

in Hollywood, and I was walking by this alley, and I heard some noises, and I went in there just to check it out. And I see this buff-ass prison rat fucking a raccoon. So I'm like, what the f- So I get closer, right? And he's just brrrrrrr. And then this raccoon puts it to the wall, smashing it. I get even closer, and I noticed the raccoon is dead.

He's fucking a dead raccoon. So I get even closer, and I get a seat right next to it. He don't give two fucks. This rat is just brrrrrrr. He's just smashing the shit out of this raccoon. Eventually he finishes, he pulls his dick out, walks away, and he looks at me like he's about to smack me. He just got out of prison, buff-ass rat.

And I thought about it. I was like, wow, if you balls deep in some good pussy, don't worry about who's watching. And the second thing I thought about was, I might fuck some raccoon pussy after that. Thanks, guys. What the fuck? Moja.

All right, Moja. So you saw some guy doing what? I saw a buff-ass rat fucking a raccoon. You saw a buff-ass rat having sex with a raccoon? A dead raccoon. A dead raccoon. Is this a true story? No.

Why? How did you make this wild tail up? This is like a horrible pitch for a Pixar movie. It's an episode of The Boondocks that didn't make it. This is one of my first jokes I ever wrote, and I didn't even know how I came up with it, because it was like in March when I started writing. And in his defense, he usually has a stool to hump.

He usually what? Repeat that again for us. He usually has a stool to hump when he's doing the joke about the rat fucking the dead raccoon. What's true? Do you normally do an act out if you're on the stage? I mean, I'm new. This is actually the second time I've ever been doing open mic.

Oh, okay. Well, welcome. Second time ever performing. Where was the first open mic? We drove down to San Diego, and I did my first open mic in San Diego a couple of weeks ago. Oh, okay. And how many people were in the room in San Diego?

By the time I performed, I was last. It was six people out of 30 left. Wow, that's interesting. So tell us more about you, Moja. Where are you from? So I'm African. Really? Yeah, but...

Thank you, thank you. What kind of African are you? There you go. I'm East African Somalian. Oh, Somalian. But I was raised most of my life in Sweden, Stockholm. I'll call you captain any time you want. Yeah, you know who's the captain?

He's the captain now. All right. So you're from Somalia. All right. What was your... How long have you been in America? I've been here about 12 years now. 12 years.

Okay. You came with your whole family or just you? Yeah, just me. I came to... I like America better, so I moved to... This is my aunt in Seattle. Uh-huh. Wait, what about Seattle?

I moved to Seattle. Oh, okay. Why Seattle? What made you pick there? My family was there. Your family was in Seattle? Yes, my aunts. Oh, your aunts.

Okay. And what do your parents do for a living? My mom doesn't work. She lives in London. And my dad lives in Stockholm. And he's a bus driver. Stockholm, uh, Sweden? Yes.

Oh, okay. He drives a bus. No, Syndrome. Got him. That's not a place. Stockholm, Syndrome's not a place. It's a thing, bro. Yeah, what he's saying.

Now, I'm at the stool. Are you a flight attendant or a flight attendant, you catty bitch? What are you doing? Joe, they're all stopped. Okay. So, uh, why does your mom live in London if your dad lives in Stockholm? They separated. She got her husband.

Oh, there. Oh, wow. So how did they end up separating? Did they separate and then she had a husband or did she cheat on your bus driving father? No, they separated first. Okay. This is my stop. How old were you when that happened?

I was about maybe 10. Maybe 10 years old. And, uh, okay. How did that affect, how did that make you feel when your parents said they were separating? Uh, it didn't feel that weird. It was normal. Okay. All right.

Okay. That's fun. So you lived with your aunts in Seattle. Yes. Your aunt, your aunt Tifa and your aunt E-bodies. That's correct. These are, these are quarantine jokes, everybody. Aunt Tifa and aunt E-bodies.

We wouldn't even tell those jokes on Southwest Airlines. Oh. Buckle up. Oh my goodness. So Moja, uh, what, how's your love life been since you've been here as an American? It's been great. Except I'm single right now. You're single right now.

But you still, uh, you still getting laid, hooking up with, uh, white women? Uh, I hook up with any woman that looks good, especially if she's got a fat ass. Wow. That's what you're into. Yeah, I'm black after all. You are black, right? A lot of white people are into fat asses nowadays too though. That is, uh, it's like rap music.

It used to be just black people were into it. Now everybody's into it. Yeah. White girl's been thick as fuck lately. Yes. White girls figured it out. Back in the day, the only way for a white girl to, uh, have a fat ass was by eating a lot.

But now they've realized there's one exercise called squatting that, uh, that in which you can actually grow an ass. Or they can get it done. Yeah. Implants. So cheap. Mexico. It's like two cheeks for like $500.

Dr. Rebbe. Hey. It's like a two for 500 bucks. Wow. Is that true, Red Band? Have you looked into, uh, did you get some? No. Is that where you got yours from?

No. But I had this idea to make a pillow out of implants like boob, like a boob pillow. And I was going to buy the implants and I found that you could buy them from Mexico pretty cheap. Yeah, but how many McDubbles is that? The one in Mexico that falls down. That is literally like fucking 1,000 McDubbles. Yeah, that's a thousand.

My goodness. What do you like to, uh, what's some of your favorite American cuisine? You're from Somalia. They are, uh, usually very hungry over there. So you, uh, you must have, you know, quite the appetite. What do you like here in America? What do you like to eat other than thick white girls' asses? Uh, chicken.

Fried chicken. Oh, wow. Like waffles. Shocking. Steak. Chicken, waffles, steak? Everything except for pork. Oh.

Onk, onk for me. No pork. Why don't you like pork? Why no pork? I'm Muslim. Oh, you are. Okay. Heck yeah.

So my soundboard has like every single one of them. It's about him. Do you have a Muslim, uh, sound effect? Yeah, let's hear it. Where is it? Okay. Okay. All right.

That's enough. That's very long. Please blur my face on this part of the episode. All right. So do you, uh, is there, uh, you have like a Muslim church that you go to? What are those called again? Musks. I don't have one, but I should find one.

Okay. All right. You, uh, you ever take any, uh, flight classes or anything like that? No. Okay. All right. If you, uh, if you had to, uh, if you had to kill one race of people, what would your race be?

Which ones would you pick? America is an option. Just the shitty races down in Trump, motherfuckers. Wow. Look at that. That's very interesting. You just pick one human and you chose the president of the United States of America. You know, all the racist people.

All the racist people. Okay. That's cool. Have you met, have you met a racist since being here in America? I think I met a lot of them. They just don't have the balls to say something to my face. They don't have the balls to say something to your face. Yeah.

Which is weird, right? Yeah, that is weird. Here's your moment, Tony. What? What? I said, here's your moment. He's never met a racist face to face. I thought he used your moment, Tony.

No, he knows what's going on. This guy's built like a fucking microphone over here. He's built like Bob Barker's microphone, just thin and very thin and very black. Microphone head? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So no one's ever been racist to you in America, but the people that you would pick first to kill are the racist.

You've never had anyone be racist to you face to face 12 years here in America. That's pretty good odds. Yeah. I mean, living in a big city might help Seattle's diverse LA. Yeah, living in a big city helps, but that also means that you're around more people that could be racist. It almost seems like a lot of the racist people live away from the big city where they wouldn't have to be around other races.

I guess I'm lucky. Yeah, maybe you're lucky or maybe just maybe. Maybe racism is an overexposed storyline in the modern media. Who knows? Thank you, Tony. Oh, you're welcome, Mr. President. It is always a pleasure. Anyway, Moshe, you have any special skills or talents?

We had a guy earlier do a magic trick. We had a guy earlier do some dance moves. Is there anything you have, any talents you have that would surprise us? I'm a basketball player. I play basketball. Can we get this guy a basketball? Does anybody have a basketball in their car? It's literally one of the top most dangerous sports right now.

It's Mohawk, Tony. Mohawk. Mohawk. Yeah. Okay. Mohawk. Okay. So basketball, what else?

Anything else? What else can you do? You know any poetry or anything like that? No. I was an athlete. I'm a big sports fan. Okay. One of my favorite movies is one of your favorite movies, Goodfellas.

Oh, wow. Oh, Tony likes big fellas. Yeah. I like good fellas. I like bad fellas. As long as they have a penis and a ball sack, I'm into them because I'm a gay man. Yeah. As long as I'm a gay man.

I am a gay man. That was all right. Nothing to do with that. I will run with this storyline forever. I am a gay dude. Goodfellas and all types of fellas. Okay. What's your favorite scene from Goodfellas?

Let's reenact it together because I know every line of that movie so we can do it. Am I funny to you? That's the scene, the worst fucking scene in the whole movie. All right. I like that scene. No one actually likes that scene. That's the scene that people that haven't actually seen the movie. My favorite scene when he's freaking out, driving at the end with the helicopters and he's like looking up while he's driving.

Yeah. Okay. Moja. Fun times. Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming on the show. Congratulations to his second time ever performing stand-up comedies here on Kill Tony. That's Moja.

What? Where did you find that guy? I met him here. I met him all back at the comedy store. He said he wants to be able to do Kill Tony when he can. And I had to pre-select a few healthy people that would test properly through the rigorous testing system. They have set up here where they take your temperature one time and cross their fingers afterwards. Or crush their fingers, as Michael Lair would say.

I could pull it out of the bucket just to make it fancy, but I know who's left because he's the only other submission. This was a very funny man recommended by Michael Lair himself. Ladies and gentlemen, Elliott Mack everybody. Here we go. Here he is, Elliott Mack. So I have gay dads. Yeah, which you applaud in 2020. Thank you.

The rest of you make it sound like they just kidnap me from a nuclear family when I was 8 and showed me L in 10 hours a day until I turned out like this. Which is exactly what happened, but it doesn't mean I don't deserve applause for it. No, it was cool growing up with gay dads. Like every morning they just put me on the gay agenda. It was just brunch. Mamosas. Brunch again. Tap dancing lessons.

Eat a salad. Go to bed. Listen to Wicked. That shit was bomb. The best part was definitely whenever it was family game night and I got to choose like the vote on what to do. And it was my two straight brothers, my two gay dads and me. So I would just be like, all right, should we get Cubs tickets or should we see Wicked for the fifth time? Cubs tickets, Cubs tickets, Wicked, Wicked, Wicked.

Oh my God. I know about popular. But then I'd get hit with a belt for singing off key so it evened out to a regular childhood. Hell yeah. I love it. So good to finally have someone a little bit less gay than me on this show. Very exciting stuff. Nice to meet you, Alia.

This is your first time on the show, correct? First time. Glad to be here. How long you been doing comedy for? I've been doing comedy 11 years now. Awesome. All of it here in Los Angeles? No, I grew up in Chicago actually and I started taking comedy classes at Second City when I was 12.

After seeing Michael perform with Eddie Bryant, he did this one hilarious blackout. They were wearing some Breros. It was incredible. And I was like that. That's what I want to do. Wow. That is so cool. So you actually saw Michael Lair when you were 12 years old.

How old are you now? I'm 23. 23. That is fucking awesome. You saw Michael Lair when you were 12 and you said, I want to do comedy and now you've been doing it. He was fucking hilarious. Yes. It's been an amazing ride.

He's something else. He's unbelievable. Yeah. So I think we finally found out who's putting the gold bond powder on Michael Lair's balls right here. No doubt indeed. I love it. That is so awesome. So how long have you lived in Los Angeles for?

I was here for about six months and then I went home to be with family for quarantine. And then I did, you know, like the min open mic. Do you remember that? No. It was happening for a bit. It was a min open mic where you would open the door and like weed smoke would billow into your face. And I did an online like zoom mic and I got to see like all the other LA comics. And I'd been thinking about not coming back to LA and I was like, I need to be with this.

Like this is it. So I came back. I've been moving for the last month. It shouldn't have taken me so long to move, but I also had to decorate. So like that. Oh, that's hilarious. Oh, that's so funny. So you're a gay man.

You live in West Hollywood. I did, but I hated all of the other people there. Yeah, it is a little bit wild. Right. I'm going to share something with you guys. I saw two gay guys holding hands today. Oh, and I literally thought to myself, that is like the gayest thing that two gay guys could do. Oh, right.

Like nowadays, like 10, 20 years ago, you'd be like, if you saw two guys making out, you'd be like, well, that's gay, right? And then like, you know, since then there's like butt fucking, I think is the most gay thing two guys can do. But then it hit me today in 90 degree heat in the middle of the day in Los Angeles. You don't see any men and women holding hands like to hold hands. You have to literally be like, I don't mind making a puddle of sweat with our hands. We had to fight for that. We're going to do it. God damn it.

It is. It's a hot day. That is incredible. Would you agree that that's a that's an extremely gay thing? Oh, 100%. I was with this guy the other day, actually, and there's like, I guess there's like a connection between us or something, because we can't hold hands or he'll get a boner. He'll get a boner.

Well, like, kind of, well, it's kind of like if he gets a boner, it's like a yawn. You know how that like spreads around. Right. Totally. Exactly. Hey, Gavin. So if you hold hands, he gets a boner. And then if he gets a boner, you get a boner.

Exactly. And then if some other gay guy sees you two guys with boners. He's like, oh, no. You can tell it's up to like a mile away. The Gator has a very long radius. Absolutely. You're telling me I'm like a Doppler Gator over here. I see it all.

I have I have a Tri-County Gator. Boners spread like coronavirus in the gay community. That's right. We call it the bar. We call it the baronavirus. Yeah. The old fucking. That would be so weird if straight friends could hold hands.

Like if we'd like went to go get some food together, we were all holding hands. What says he can't? Yeah. I'm a rude fan. Just imagine holding Jeremiah's hand. I don't like holding anybody's hand. I just I've never been a handholder. Let's just try to see what it feels like.

No. Absolutely. Yeah. Let's start now. Absolutely not. Red band. I didn't like touching you pre coronavirus. Not to mention right now.

Look at that. Look at this. Look at this. Look at that big, strong hand. Look at that. Just shaking from fucking caffeine and nicotine just vibrating with high blood pressure vibrations. Tell him to wipe off. I thought you said holding hands.

Red band loves holding hands. Wow. Jesus. Look at that. Okay. So Elliott, how long have you been with this boyfriend of yours? It's kind of been like one of those things where just like whenever we're in the same city, it goes down. So like three times over the last three years, but now he's in Orange County and I'm in LA.

So it's like a little bit easier. Yeah. I would love to tell you that like he's my Ellen or something and we're going to get like have two kids and two dogs, but probably not. Yeah. Okay. What? How'd you meet him? Originally Tinder and then he and this other guy, like we went to a bow and they like fought over me and I was like, no, stop.

I hate this. And are they like tops or bottoms? How does that work? Is that a thing? Is that a weird question? I'm not saying another word without my lawyer present. Uh-oh. I love that.

I love it. Um, so, uh, is that how Tinder works? Like, do they have it separated, like in tops and bottoms or anything like that? You know. Oh, that's right. No, I just have to pretend. That guy is playing dumb. I'm deep in the closet, so I have to pretend like I don't know these things.

I messaged you and you never replied. What happened? Yeah. No, I, yeah, I haven't checked my, uh, what do they do? They call it an inbox or a butthole? Nothing. Okay. All right.

Man, this is my episode tonight. I'm just what they would call on fire. Somebody get the gringo bandito hot sauce because it's a spicy one tonight. Well, kill Tony. Come on. All right. Elliot, any, uh, special skills or talents or anything like that other than, uh, uh, being a comedy veteran started at what 13 years old?

That is fucking awesome. Man. That is so cool. Yeah. I was going to play the ukulele for this, but I was like, oh, wow. How about anything else? We had a guy earlier that could dance. We had a guy earlier do an unbelievable magic trick.

He laughed a piece of a plastic out of his hand. It's really impressive. I can do pottery, but like, you know what? Somebody bring, can we get a pottery wheel in here? Couple kilns. Yeah. Kilns. Kiln Tony.

Welcome to another. Oh, that got, that got, that got a laugh. There you go. Looks like, uh, it was funny. That's what I'll think. That's the moment I'll think of before I fall asleep tonight was kiln Tony. The big laugh that I got. Right.

Just as I'm crying and sweating myself to sleep. I love it. Um, Elliott, uh, let me ask you this before I let you go. Have you ever been with a woman or anything like that? Like only while I was sucking her boyfriend's dick. Wow. Is that true? 100%.

You guys had like a threesome. Yeah. It was actually, it was when I was in high school and he was our quarterback. And we had all been like drunk bowling that night and people were like going off. And then they were like, Oh, Elliott, like you have a hot tub, right? And I was like, yeah. And we went back to my hot tub and like he looked at his girlfriend and his girlfriend looked at me and then they both started changing like glances.

And I was like, no, no. And then she was like, so Elliott, what happens in the turn tub stays in the turn tub. Right. And then you bent over and he put his hands under your butt and went hut hut. So close. Actually he put his, his hands in like the two finger of my elastic. Gay quarterback jokes.

Exactly. And he pulled me into his lap and kissed me. And then immediately like clockwork. I just like grabbed her face and was like out of my way. This is my moment. Oh, shit. Yeah. Sucked his dick.

Everything that you do. The fire in your eyes. And I have a big secret. Oh, yeah. It was Gavin. Oh, there it is. We live in one place. Because of the sun face.

Will you marry me? Bring around your finger. Do you have to let it linger? I want to marry you. We just work. Put my finger in your butt. You are my lovely cut. Elliott.

Well, awesome man. I'm so glad that you came down. Come back anytime you want. And by come back, I mean after you go to Orange County and visit your boyfriend. You know what I mean? Come back. Wonderful.

All right. Thank you so much. Elliott Mack everybody. There he goes. Elliott Mack. Ladies and gentlemen. William. Get away, man.

All right. There's only one person left to perform tonight. We're so excited about it. His stock is crashing through the floor. I mean, this guy was once beloved on this show. He at one point was the only regular on the show. And then once he started to fade out a bit, I brought in David Lucas so that he would get his shit together

and write harder and work harder. And then a few months after that, he started to crash again. We brought in Michael Lair who absolutely started stealing episode after episode after episode. He upped his game yet again. And now he's crashing yet again. Disappointing people from the management to the band, to the host of the show, to the other regulars.

And now he's here to perform for you right now. Closing out tonight's show, William the Big Red Machine, Montgomery. He's fighting off his back here tonight. A lot of people disappointed. How do I fucking stand and talk into this? I'm kidding. That was my joke I've been working on now.

Actually, Ellie and I had sex last week. We're expecting. No, I'm kidding. Y'all are in for a treat. This probably Jeremiah might be my best set. If we're in Syria, we ain't talking about Jesus. We talking about Brandon. Y'all ever watched The Sixth Sense?

Because that's been happening to me this past week. Every time I turn on The Sixth Sense, I'm like, hold up, is that Brandon? If you're in the parking lot of the comedy store, please leave any excess syringes in the tip jar. Darius Rucker from Hootie and the Blowfish is now single. That's way better news than if I told you Darius Rucker released a new single.

If they defunded the Ghostbusters, who are you going to call? That was probably my best. Can I say the next one? Yeah, maybe that one will work. Go ahead. One to work on. One of my favorite bands is Traffic. One of my least favorite bands is Child Traffic.

Oh boy. Alright, William Montgomery. That was his set this week. He had a lot riding on this, people. A lot riding on this. You could say that, Tony. I have this mask on now because I got something called Diabetes. Oh boy.

Coming off a wild week this week. Coming off a $3,000 loss and one of those games you put the little marble one. Roulette. Roulette. Lost $3,000 fucking dollars. Y'all get a good look at these eyes right now. I'm heading back to Memphis.

I lost all my fucking money. I'm gone. And you're also in the process of losing your job. Is that correct? It is correct. I'm worried about this thing. They talk of it. Oh no.

What's that guy's name, Brandon? Jeremiah, you told me to say that joke. I don't think he did. There's something weird going on with your mask. It's very anti-eatery. Anti-eatery. Yeah, it's anti-eatery. That's what I did in Vegas.

You anti-eatery? I ate a bunch of Butterfingers in this fucking mask around all these people. And Michael, I love you. I don't want to call you out, but I was eating Butterfingers around a bunch of crippled folks. And it gave me the creeps. William lost $3,000 at the buffet in Vegas. Can you say that a little bit slower, bitch? William, not very nice.

Where'd you get that mask from? Did you get that in Las Vegas? From Ron John Surf Shop in Jacksonville, Florida. Oh, you went to Jacksonville this week. Ron John. I seriously thought you were going to say Ron John Silver's. Listen to all the laughs in the room that didn't happen during your set. Jeremiah, I swear to God, man, I listened to your new song.

It made me cry to some extent. Now you're making fun of me saying Ron John Surf Shop. What am I going to do? I've lost my job. I'm heading back to Memphis. We just work. That's one of my favorite lyrics. Can I read you all one of my favorite quotes?

Okay, go ahead. Is this the comedy part? And they were telling me, now it doesn't matter now. It really doesn't matter what happens now. I left Atlanta this morning. Let me start from towards the bottom. No, it's okay. So you went to Vegas, you lost a bunch of money.

How's your girlfriend? She is not with us no more. She passed away. She has passed to the other side. That guy holding the fucking camera was there touching the testicles. It was so sweet of you. He saw what happened. Literally, I drowned her.

You drowned your girlfriend? Literally, I drowned her. In the Bellagio fountain? In the Bellagio fountain. I killed her. She's 42. Why did you kill your 42-year-old girlfriend? Because I'm 32.

Yeah, showed her who's boss. Just kidding, I'm 33. She's 42. I killed her fucking ass. She had it coming to her. Did you at least rough her up a little bit or just straight? Did I at least eat a butter finger? Yeah, I did.

Oh, you ate a butter finger while doing it or beforehand? I ate a butter finger just pre-game. Eating a butter finger, looking in her eyes. I have goggles on. She has goggles on. She's in the bathtub. She's drowning. I don't care no more.

So you drowned her a little bit in the bathtub and then you took her to the- Hey, Red Band, that was perfect, you motherfucker. Also, did- That toot noise. Did you just say the word drowning? Did I say the word drowning? Good one. Did you?

What's wrong with that? How do you say that? Drowning. Drowned. There's no D at the end of that. If Red Band's correcting your English grammar, you're in big trouble, dude. I'm in deep shit. Professor what?

Everyone in the railroad knows how to say drowning. Everyone in the railroad. I was in the motherfucking railroad. 15 fucking years. I swear to God, I've worn a mask before. Good one. Thank you, Red Band. What did you-

I've worn this shit before. I was a conductor. What did you- That's what you did on the railroad? I was putting pennies on the track, seeing what happened when the locomotive hit them. That's what I was doing. Jeremiah, get my back on that. Got your back, and my name's Gavin.

I liked William better when he called in on the video. Thanks so much, bitch. You got me sick. Why do you think I have to wear this now? Where's the Marshall on this plane? William, you're- Where are my lungs now, bitch? William, you've been saying that you've had coronavirus now for four months.

Have you had any symptoms at all? Yeah, I started losing in Chinese checkers. You're gonna have to check that attitude of the gate, okay? I've started losing in fucking Chinese checkers, Tony, and I don't know what the fuck to do. Well- I've been listening to Skinnerd. I've been playing Chinese checkers- What did you bet on in roulette?

Black or red on roulette. Black 22-inch Tahoe lifted. All right. That's what I bet on. That's what I was trying- Okay. Driving in Memphis, Tennessee, it was- A little fun fact, a little inside information.

William actually made- William actually caused quite the scene last week around the comedy story. He was pacing around. He was talking very close to people. And you told me that. The pussies running this place really called me out. No, that's not- that wouldn't be the way-

Red Band, is that what you're gonna do, motherfucker? You told me to walk around. You piece of shit. I never told you to walk around. You told me to walk around. And now, Tony, you're calling me out for walking around. Red Band, you told me that, dude. I get it.

You're from Ohio. You eat Wendy's. You're 28 years old. I trusted you. I think he's losing it. Excuse me, your emotional carry-on is a little bit too large for this flight. Jeremiah, just right here, what I picture is, when I was in Vegas,

just me and you being in sort of the top part of that hotel, just me and you being the guy killing everyone, and just me putting on your song, and you being like, William, hey, stop. He just won't, without you, and everything that you do. And just reckless abandon,

shooting that AK-47, and you stopping shooting, and me pointing a gun to your fucking head. All right. That's tonight's episode. There goes William Montgomery, everybody. There he goes. Go ahead, William.

All the way to the back, William. Straight back. Straight back. Let's check out the drawing from Ryan J. E. Belt. While you all sat around doing nothing, he drew this. Look at that. You can get a little bit closer there.

Yeah. That's great. That's all of us on an airplane. In honor of the flight attendants, and of course, your pilot, Captain Hingecliff, with my first officer, Brian Redban. Okay.

We're going to be taking off for another, we'll see you next week. Shout out to those of you in the parking lot that were awesome enough to join us here at the Comedy Store, making history in this 100-year-old building. You know, we're making it happen. We're fitting things into,

fitting things into the proper slots here, hoping things get better sometime soon. We have William Montgomery in charge of making the new vaccine for COVID-19, so I'm expecting it curing out any second. Here, go that way, that way, all the way back, all the way there. There you go.

And then stand there once you get there, all the way. A lot of fun stuff happening. We'll be back next Monday with yet another show, which is exciting stuff. Shout out to Vito's Pizza, RyanJBelt.com, CavemanCoffeeCo.com, and Lucy.co.

Get off your cigarettes and your vape pens, go to Lucy.co, use the code Kill Tony, and they will literally let you try their product for the minimum amount of money by law. Yeah, and if you've tried the nicotine gum before, you know, it's expensive usually, and it's not that good. This tastes really good, so try it out. Gum is a dollar.

At two dollars, you can get your lungs stronger than ever during the coronavirus by not catching coronavirus and trying that out. Here's the part where we check in with Jeremiah Walkins, who has a new episode of Jeremiah Wonders Out. With Dr. Phil and Shanks, actually. That's very exciting. Very exciting.

You Kill Tony fans are going to love that. Adam Ray plays Dr. Phil, and of course, Jeremiah plays Shanks. He's got his Venmo piece of paper there. At Jeremiah-Walkins, they cover all parking fees tonight. For those of you that... And then I'll be in Arizona at the end of the month, July 30th and 31st.

Denver is canceled, but Arizona is still going strong. Wow. You're definitely not going to be in Arizona. Denver's in way better shape than Arizona. It's weird that you want to do that gig, but... And then I have a Louis J. Gomez shirt up on Instagram. Is that a real shirt? That's a real shirt.

That's real? There you go. That's such a weird shirt. Yeah, that's good, though. Jeremiah has been taking some creative chances lately. He's got new songs out. He's going to be dropping more of those, according to what I've read in Billboard magazine.

There's a whole bunch more coming, so we're excited to see some of those romantic songs. I will have a number one song someday. You know what? I agree. You put those energies out there. And people that believe in hope will clap at that. Hand for Jetski Johnson, everybody.

She was here tonight. That was her. She's back from the coronavirus. She's Jetski Johnson. What else, Jetski? Everybody who messaged me when I was gone and checked in. Everybody here at home listening. Thank you so much.

That was so nice. And if you are alone, hang in there. It sucks, but yeah. She saw what you wrote her. She heard your thoughts. She did not smell a single thing. I didn't smell any of it. Chroma Chris was here tonight, everybody.

Unbelievably funny. Incredibly great on the bass. So glad to have you back filling in the sounds of the band. You make it so much more powerful. What am I missing, Chroma? Thanks, Tony. You can just check me out. Check out the Baby Boys on Spotify.

Oh, yeah. The new album's great, guys. Love that. Thank you. Patty Reagan and the Baby Boys. Great, Pat Reagan and the Baby Boys. Yes, we're actually just the Baby Boys, but Pat Reagan isn't. It's me, Pat.

And it's the Baby Boys for those people on Spotify. Yes, the Baby Boys on Spotify. There you go. And last but not least, the backbone of the band, Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez, everyone. He's mostly sorry on social media. His new podcast, Mostly Sorry, is out. What else, Joel?

Yeah, we're going to drop it on Wednesday this time, since we'll be working tomorrow. So we'll see you Wednesday at five, me and David Deerey. I love it. Big thanks to David Deerey also. Yes, big thanks to David Deerey. He's got a tough gig, and he really helps us out tremendously on this show. And sometimes, oh, there he is.

He's right there. Oh, I didn't even recognize him. And we love him very much. It's such an important role, and we care about him deeply. He's at MF David Deerey on all things social media. Catch him working with the great Donnell Rawlings. He's really good on Joel's podcast, too. Yeah, he's great on Joel's podcast.

Works with all the funniest people. And we absolutely love David Deerey. He's a great comedian, a worldly traveler, and just an overall great guy. He keeps us safe. He's strict about the coronavirus. I remember when we were driving to the ice house that first week, and I was saying all this shit's bullshit and everything,

and you're like, no, Tony, this is a really big deal. People are getting really sick. I have friends in Italy, and I'm like, this fucking nerd is scared of this disease. And it turns out you were completely correct. And I was an asshole. Yeah, I've been an asshole a few times. Hey, guys, check out my show, Virtual Red Band. If you like virtual reality, I play a bunch of virtual reality.

And it's fun. And with me, my new side project, Roastmaster Class, is booming over there. I just had an episode with Sarah Tiana Drop, where we went over, for the first time ever, anywhere, the unheard Ann Coulter script that was controversial and talked about on many platforms, but never heard before. We went over it. And fun episodes out.

Benji Aflalo, David Lucas. This week, I'm interviewing Jesse Joyce, the former writer for the late, great, great Geraldo. So everything roasting is happening over there. That's a patreon.com slash hinchcliff for that exclusive content. Thank you, Gino, again, Speedweed and Betterbox Studios for keeping us holed up during the majority of the pandemic. RyanGeebelt.com for Prince and Michael Lair comedy for all the coolest merch.

And thank you, audience, in the comedy store. And the comedy store. Thank you, everybody. Thank you. William.