KILL TONY - KT #467 – QUARANTINED #22

Episode Date: August 14, 2020

Ali Macofsky, David Lucas, William Montgomery, Michael Lehrer, Jessie Johnson, David Deery, Joel Jimenez, Chris Dillon, Jeremiah Watkins, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - 08/10/2020THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:ZIPRECRUITER.COM – TRY IT FOR FREE AT ZIPRECRUITER.COM/KILLTONY

Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to Kill Tony. Check out our website, DeathSquad.tv. There you have everything Kill Tony, including past episodes, video portions to the show, and you could also click on tour dates to see if we're touring anywhere. That's DeathSquad.tv. Tony has his own website, go to TonyHinchCliff.com. There you have everything Golden Pony, including his own tour dates and his merch, that's TonyHinchCliff.com. Ryan J. Ebelt, he's the house artist. He draws every episode. He sells prints of them. Go to RyanJEbelt.com and pick up some cool Kill Tony stuff. And last but not least, the official merchandise of the DeathSquad universe is ShopSquad.tv. There you got some DeathSquad hats, shirts, and you've also got some Kill Tony shirts

left. That's at ShopSquad.tv. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Red Band. Come to you live from the world famous comedy store main room for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony H. Cliff. Just a couple dogs hanging out in the doghouse. We are live from the comedy store, Brian Red Band. How are you? Hey man, how are you doing? It's been a long time. It's been a long time. Shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to. We are back at the world famous comedy store for another episode of Kill Tony. Live on the sunset strip. But before we get into it all, here's a little bit more from our amazing sponsors. Hiring can be difficult. And if you're an employer, you probably experience

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heard of CBD, it's derived from hemp plants and packs all the benefits of marijuana without getting high. And Infinite CBD has a ton of different products that we've used and they're great. I love CBD. I rub it all over myself. I rub it on you too sometimes. Here's the Infinite CBD products I think can help get you through this. They have CBD AM Plus. If you have difficulty concentrating while working from home, this has CBD plus caffeine for some mental clarity. CBD gummies, which is my favorite with new flavors like sour and full spectrum. I'm in the spectrum gummies. If you think you're losing it, these can help you relax. And of course, CBD lube, why not add CBD to your self love making? You know, it feels good and you got time to kill.

Treat yourself. If you haven't tried CBD, look it up. There's a lot of research and users are reporting benefits like reduce anxiety, reduce inflammation and more. So go to infinitecbd.com to see which of their products fits your needs. That's infinitecbd.com. And if you use the promo code Kill Tony, you will get 20% off. Once more, that's infinitecbd.com and promo code Kill Tony for 20% off. And we are back here at the Comedy Store for another episode of Kill Tony. Very exciting to have the great Ryan J. Ebelt here with us tonight of ryanjebelt.com. He draws every single episode of Kill Tony, including all the tour posters and those are all for sale, sometimes for amazing auctions at ryanjebelt.com. We have the great Gino from LA Speedweed is here,

always incredible, got us through the hardest part of this pandemic. Let us use the great Betterbox Studios. Go get yourself a candle at damgoodcandleco.com. Damgoodcandleco.com. And they even have a Hinch Me I'm Dreaming. They sold out, but I do believe perhaps they restocked that. And yeah, check out Caveman Coffee. Use the promo code Kill Tony. Get some Caveman Coffee. Save some money using the promo code Kill Tony. And delicious Vito's Pizza. Here in Southern California. In fact, not only do I eat their pizza, but I have been completely addicted to the baked ZD as of late. I didn't get to tell you, Charlie, I did it again this week. I did it again. I postmated it. I almost want to, if I were to put on the special instructions on Postmade,

if I was going to be like, what's up, Charlie, throw in a breadstick, you would see that, right? Okay, I'm going to do that from now on because those little breadsticks you brought that one time are like, I don't want to say they're better than the big breadsticks, but I mean, hello. Are they garlic? What's the deal with them? They're just tiny. I'd rather have like a couple tiny ones than like they, they have crazy breadsticks there. But it's like, for me, it's like a lot of work. I'm looking at this thing like, God damn, it's like a loaf of bread. I mean, it's great. I just, I just want a little bit of bread, you know what I mean? I don't need all that bread. Yeah. It's like you, you would love the normal breadsticks.

You know, my new favorite thing is getting fettuccine alfredo and then adding mushrooms to it. Oh, damn. It's like cream of mushroom soup almost. Hello. I get the big ZD from Vitos and I added the, they have like small meatballs there. Either that or you like cut them in half or something, you just break them up. Oh my God, it's so fucking good. I mean, it's crazy. It's like a new, I have to make sure I'm not doing anything physical afterwards, you know, like riding an e-bike or anything. No serious exercise afterwards, but anyway, a lot of fun stuff happening. I'm excited to be here and we have a guest tonight. Very excited about this. Ladies and gentlemen, this young lady joining us for this entire episode, I can say with no ego

at all is one of my favorite human beings and she is truly Kiltoni royalty. I mean, she started on this show at the age of 19 years old. She became a regular at the age of 20. At that point, the comedy store enforced a rule that people under 21 aren't allowed in the building at all for any reason, even to perform, which was a controversial law at the time because you were allowed to perform on stage as long as you left right afterwards back then. So she had to break her tenureship of being a regular and on her 21st birthday, she came back to be a regular, did it for years, now opens up for the likes of Joe Rogan and a lot of the other best comedians in the world, including her own headlining dates as of late. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you truly,

one of the truly greatest regulars in the history of the show, a woman that has a full fledged comedy career in an unbelievable podcast. I love her with all of my heart, one of my favorite humans and favorite comedians. It's the great Ali Mikovsky, everybody. Remember that music from when she was a regular? Wow. Look at her. The baby girl is all grown ups, everybody. Hi. Hello, Ali. How are you? Oh my gosh, I'm good. I'm so happy to have you here. I'm so happy to be here. I am a big fan of yours. I get a little bit starstruck around you. So this is exciting. Welcome, welcome. Thank you. You've been doing a lot of skateboarding on your Instagram as of late. It's very inspiring. Yeah. So I've had like this skateboard for four years

because I thought that if I got a skateboard, skater boys would fall in love with me and that didn't happen. So I just stopped skating and then this guy came over to my house to look at a room that was open and he mentioned that he was a skater. And so when he was leaving, I saw my board that I haven't ridden road. Yeah. Okay. In like four years and I'm like, what do I do with this? Can I sell it? Do I just give it to a kid? And he picks it up and he looks at it and he was like, this is my pro model skateboard. Whoa. So now we've been skating together. Are you learning fast? Kind of somewhat to some extent. Well, I actually had Ali, I asked her if she would bring her skateboard here with her and you did. I brought it. So I'm thinking maybe at the end of tonight's

episode, if she's willing to do us the honor, I'm thinking maybe you could try a little trick here on the greatest stage in the history of comedy. You seem pretty nervous about that. I am nervous because I ate shit so hard today, just like trying to do a cool turn to like put my skateboard in my trunk. Like I wasn't doing anything except trying to turn and I fell so hard. There's a lot of people that fall down on this show, but you know what? They pick themselves up and that's what matters in the end. I believe that's what the great Michael Cain said in all of the Batman movies. It's about picking yourself up. Oh, that's Bane. That was Bane. I got, I get all my voices, Batman voices. If I do eat shit and like end up handicapped, do I get to become a regular?

Absolutely. You'll become a regular yet again. You will be, we have many wheelchair regulars now and you will be added to the club. You guys can come out in a little choo-choo train once in a while. Okay, Ali, I don't know if you remember this, but there's a band on this show. Yeah, and they're the best stand band in the land. Every single episode, they commit to being different characters. Let's find out what they are tonight. As I present to you, the best stand band in the land. It's the Kill Tony band, Jeremiah Walkins, Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez, Chroma Criss and the Jetski Jesse Johnson. Here we go. Oh, this is scary music. What is this?

Oh my God. Jetski, get out there. Show these people what's going on. I literally have no idea what they're supposed to be, by the way. You guys all work at like a haunted house, a Halloween house or something? Welcome ghouls and goblins to Channel 9's horror themed show. Wow. Ben Dorrigan is in for a scare tonight. Oh my goodness. I thought you were Tommy Wiso from the room for a second. I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi, Jeremiah. That's not Jeremiah. What's your name? My name is Vincent Shadow. Vincent Shadow. I'm going to write that one down because that

seems easy to forget. Vincent Shadow and who's this little ghoul? When you think of the shadows, I will be there. All right. Who's this little ghoul gobbling you got here? Is that Edna Scissorhands over here? Hey, I'm a skeleton. Oh, you are? What's your name? Just Skeleton. Oh, hi, Skeleton. Welcome to the show Skeleton. You came out. You were all silly and stuff. You swing that arm. That's like your trademark. Whoa. A lot I can do with these bones. And then who's this young cowboy back here? Good evening, skeletons and creatures of the night. This is your host on AM 66.6 terror hour. It's ghoul Lee. Thank you for dropping in ghoul Lee. Your name is ghoul Lee. That is correct. These are my favorite band characters of all time. I

know it's early in the show. I don't want to curse it. I don't want to ruin it, but I already love these guys. Someone say curse and there's a beautiful woman here. Absolutely stunning. What's your name, little lady? My name's Jolvira Jolvira. And I am a regional horror host in Texas, Channel nine. Oh my goodness. You really put the horror and horror. Well, you just stole my opening joke, but back to you in the studio. Tony, she thought of that for three months. Just big bold letters at the top of the page. Do not forget. Do not forget. Horror horror. Oh, that's great. Well, Jolvira, hopefully you have a little bit more up your sleeve, even though you don't have sleeves. Oh, you're getting into it. I like it. Oh my goodness. This

is a Halloween spectacular. Everybody. Welcome to October 31st. The great David Deerey is here helping us out. We have a very fun episode. I do believe plan. So let's just jump right into it. This first guy kicking it off. He's been on the show a couple times before and he's back. It is Kyler Bentley. Everybody hear some music because here comes Kyler Bentley. Yeah, here's Kyler Bentley. Hey, I live in a senior living facility and I know what you're thinking. I'm too young, but they have a saying where I live. It's you're only as old as you feel and I feel like a dirty old man. So I fit in just fine. I just found out I'm next on the list for a HUD housing rent voucher. So I'm waiting for one of my neighbors to die. Yeah,

it's kind of weird hoping for that to happen, but I know who I hope it is and oddly enough, it is not the alleged pedophile. Yeah, he's a good guy. Let's me use his wifi. They say there's a lot of cliches about the senior living facility. Like every one has an ester living there. It's not true. We have two esters. So somewhere there's a senior center missing an ester. Fuck yeah, Kyler Bentley. Getting it started with a bang. I love that performance. Very, very funny senior living facility. Is that trail? I'm not sure. I've never seen evidence of pedophilia there. No, I mean you live in a senior facility. Yeah, that's cool. My mom once lived in a senior facility for a couple years. How it

was interesting. It wasn't really, it wasn't like a facility. It was like a luxury apartment just for old people, but she qualified. Yeah, she was old enough. You had to be like 60. Actually, maybe you had to be like 50. This is like 20 years ago. Wow. Just for just a couple years, but it was awesome. Anyway, so is it like, how senior living a facility is it? Like what I'm talking about was like separate apartments in a building. Is this like more like a nursing home or what are we talking about? No, it's like a regular apartment complex, but you got to be senior or disabled to live there. Okay. Is it mostly senior? Yeah, I've got like a lot of surrogate grandmas that, you know, give me cookies. Heck yeah. Do you get hit on it? Because I heard

they're like super horny and they're on Viagra and shit like that. That's like the number one thing I hear. You're so handsome. He gets lots of blow jobs there and they call it meals on wheels. Oh my goodness. Whoa. Glurp, glurp, glurp, ghouls and ghouls. Oh my goodness. Channel nine. Welcome to Kill Tony. That's very exciting. Hello, it's a ghost. Do you guys ever play games? Do they have like community events or anything like that? Oh yeah, bingo is a big, big thing there. Do you play bingo? Favorite bingo number is B9. Wow. Yeah, yeah. It perfectly describes bingo. It's not really fun, but it's not cancer either. That's true. Benign tumor. I heard bingo is actually pretty fun. Like I use, I know a lot of hipsters that would go there and go to the bingo hall. Redban's

favorite bingo number is I8. Tony's favorite one is come in his mouth. That's not how bingo works, Brian. Yes, it is. That is not how bingo works. That is not how it works. However, that is my favorite bingo number. All right. Do you ever do stand up for the seniors? I actually was doing a monthly show before COVID hit. I'd get a bunch of other open micers and people I know to come and cheer the old people up. How's the COVID hit the assisted living place? Oh, it's like Hitler running the place over there, man. It's on serious lockdown. Yeah, it's wild, right? Masks required and even if there's nobody around you, where's your mask? Right. Yeah, exactly. People are freaking out. Has anybody gotten it? A lot of ambulances swinging by as of late? No, crazy enough. Nobody's had the

COVID there. That's good. It must be in a nice part of town. Not too far east, huh? No, it's really far east. Oh, it is? How far? I mean, not far east like China far east, but Montclair. Montclair. Yeah, it's about 45 minutes from here. I'm looking at Joe Byer. I will put this nail in your coffin, Tony. Joe Byer is our senior East LA correspondent. Yeah, my favorite bingo number is be quiet. Joe Byer. Wow, real Joe Byer chant. Look at that. Good job, Joe Byer. Whoa, getting things started with a little whoa. You ever steal any jewelry or anything expensive from any of these old people that are about to die? Good question. No, my neighbor says he has a $10,000 Domino set, though. Oh, Red Band or Domino's. Like Cheesy Bread? That's expensive. $10,000 Cheesy Bread. That must

be the best Cheesy Bread ever. $10,000 Domino's. That's only a week at my place. Wait, why would that be? I don't get it. It's my impression of Red Band. Ooh, a reverse. Hello? That sucked. Oh, you called him to tell him? Yeah. Oh, it's a bitter ghost. Kyler, what's your sex life like? Have I asked you this before? No, but that's how I know that you're not gay, Tony, because only straight guys ask me that question. There you go. It's pretty much non-existent. Rock solid science. But that's not because things don't work. It's just I have no game. Well, you know what? We have good news for you. Jolvira is ready to have anal sex. Here we go. Look at those hairy armpits. Can you do that?

Have you ever been to Transylvania? Hey, there you go. That's a fucking slid that right in there. Go get the purple dildo. Oh, shit. I love it, man. Well, Kyler, I love that we're able to squeeze you in here and up here. What do you got planned for the rest of the night? Anything crazy? I got Aphrodite waiting in my access right outside. Oh, I love that. Yeah, so it's going to be a tight squeeze this evening. Ooh, black magic. Hell yeah. Cocoa butter. Allie. Allie, you've seen Kyler on the circuit, right? Yeah, it's so nice being here because I haven't seen him since, you know, all the stuff closed down and I always ask him lots of questions about his wheelchair situation. And you are bad at spitting game because I feel like, you know,

there could have been some moments where I would have busted down on that chair, but sometimes it falls flat. I remember one of our conversations, me and you have something in common is we don't orgasm. Whoa. I didn't want to bring it up. There you go. My goodness. Was that a secret? Looks like the only nuts being busted here tonight are in the peanut gallery. Okay. Put your phone down. That joke brought to you by John's manure company on 3rd Avenue. Go get your manure. Wait, is that a Channel 9 reference? Yes. Kyler Bentley, ladies and gentlemen, so much fun. Thank you. The great Kyler Bentley. I like the bullet. What? Oh, yeah. Kyler Bentley. Kyler Bentley. Kyler Bentley, stand up on social media. Absolutely. That's

where you can follow him. All right. Let's see. What do we got here? What do we got? What do we got? I don't see William or David in this room. Is that correct? Oh, at the same time? Okay. Yeah. Tell one of them to come over here. Oh, God, it's unbelievable. I mean, it's just amateurs. Absolutely. Subretarded. Like to call that retarded. You know, when Allie was a regular, we didn't have to deal with such annoying waiting, ready, everything written, prepared, professional, ready to go. They cost me so much. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Now. Why? Allie, Allie, Allie. It's in your head. In your head. Zombie, zombie, zombie. Okay. All right. All right. Go grab Tony Gidley. I pulled Tony Gidley out. He works in the kitchen here.

This is very exciting. This is going to be, I believe, his first time ever doing stand-up comedy. Here he is. Tony Gidley. We got him, David. We got him. Gidley. Tony Gidley. It is Tony Gidley. Here he is. Tony Gidley, everybody. Here he goes. Here he is. Tony Gidley. Should I have my mask on? No. Okay. So do you guys know what the most popular 2020 children's new names are? G Lane and Maxwell. Too soon? No. There's a few couples. There's a couple months left in the year. She's still got some time to die. Let's see. I'm really out of breath. Not even running. So I was hanging out with my little cousins anyway. And I opened up the refrigerator for my little cousin. I said, you want some of this seven up?

And he's like, no, I'm only six. And I was like, all right, well, do you want some of this coke? And he said, yeah, line it up, motherfucker. And we had a good time. Basketball all night. So yeah, I was at a bar watching Steph Curry. I hate, you know, I love to hate that guy. So I'm sitting there screaming at the TV. I'm like, fuck Curry. I fucking hate Curry. Curry sucks donkey dicks. And then just then a guy came out from behind the bar. He said, excuse me, but Curry is very important to our native cuisine. Take it easy, bro. Plus it can hit the three. Wow. There you go. It is in your head. The zombies are in your head. Tony Gidley, welcome to the show. This was your first time doing stand up comedy. Incorrect. Oh, you've

been doing it a while. I started. I started in 2019 in January at a potluck and I've been doing mics and a show called Comedy Chow ever since. Awesome. Okay. It's your first time on Kiltony, though. I've signed up, but I've not been on. Correct. Okay. You look a lot different, by the way, than pre quarantine. It's true. He started drinking water. He was very dehydrated. I used to make fun of him for not drinking enough water and now you are completely hydrated. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. You've been exercising a lot. You've been out on your e-bike. Nope. No. Oh, you're an e-biker? No, I just, I don't know what the fuck that is. No, it's nothing. Have you been exercising? I just hiked, just went for a hike today. That's it. See, when you see, when

you're, let me just catch you guys up on something you might not know. If you're truly white trash, all you need to do is work out once and you get compliments for like three days. People are like, Oh my God, you look great. You do something. It's like, I went on a 30 minute hike earlier. That's it. I got, I got all of my fucking unemployment money just recently. Like, Oh, really? What'd you do with it? How'd you spend all at once? I bought some hiking shoes. Wow. Did you spend $10,000 on a dominoes? No, but I could. You got hiking shoes. What else did you get? I got a couple of parachutes. I got like four pairs of shoes. You just bought shoes. Jesus. So I think somebody like looting on Melrose in June. I spent all of my money on shoes size 15.

You're making a grave mistake right now, Tony. Six feet away, motherfucker. My goodness. So what kind of shoes did you get? I actually got shoes that are like Nike all conditions gear that so they're called ACG, which is actually my initials. ASG, ACG, ACG all conditions gear. Oh my goodness. They're the most comfortable hiking boots that I have worn. Wow. Where are you hiking? Just Kenneth Hahn, primarily does a specializes in trash piles and landfills. Yeah, I grew up on like 14 acres in the woods. Is that true? Where were the woods at? Michigan? Oh, what part of Michigan? Right in the middle, right by the Capitol. Oh my goodness gracious. Wow, you are truly just born in an ashtray. Absolutely. That is incredible. What do your parents do for work?

Both retired now. What did they used to do? My dad, I worked at plenty of factories. My dad was a Vietnam veteran, is a Vietnam veteran. Marine. I can see I can see you carried on his looks, the bandana, the facial hair. You look like a young Vietnam vet yourself. This is the longest that my hair has ever been, but yeah, totally. Yeah. And how about your mom? She used to be a bus driver. Absolutely not. She's a prison warden. Whoa, close. I was close. Bus driver and prison warden are right next door at the White Trash Family Employee Benefit Place. They have the same shapes too. Yes, absolutely. Very, very strong. Your mom has broad shoulders? Sure. Oh, you know she does. Come on, dude. She's a stout young woman still, yeah. Do you

remember any stories? Like was there any, like she always got stabbed once or? Oh yeah, I mean, yeah. Well, not she didn't get stabbed, but she would tell me that guys would like cut themselves open just to like be able to go to the hospital or whatever. Oh. And then eventually that, that fucking scar would just open up with their finger. Oh, I call that flirting. So they could just go to the hospital or whatever the fuck was going on. You call that foreplay, Jolvira? She's flirting. Oh, they made her like, they made her all kinds of crafts and like they painted pictures for her and shit. Oh my goodness. But hey, there's a picture of me raping you, bitch. And they also masturbated and I used my own shit to paint it. What did you think about that joke that I just

made skeleton? I'm laughing to the bone. Oh yeah. Oh my goodness. What's something that what's something crazy that we'd find a little bit wild about you, Tony Gidley? You seem like you have a lot of skeletons in your closet. Crazy. I'm not very crazy. I make I make beats. You do make a lot of beats. You do. Can you can you make a can you beatbox a little bit for us right now? I guess I could. Here we go. Everybody is one of the rare live performances that we're getting. He's putting on his mask. He's going future on us. Who'd have thought beatbox would be one of the most dangerous things to do. He's got one of the official kill Tony masks on. This is very exciting. It turns out he's a big fan of the show. Represent. That's right. Middle. Oh, shit.

That's your friend. Man, if I'm yet, that's your friend. Man, if I'm yet, that's your friend. Man, if I'm yet, there comes that base. Wow, that was incredible. ACG. Wow. Box. That's right. Prison Guard. Let me search it. That is incredible. And speaking about finding out how hard you have to work it, you're actually working in the kitchen right now. You are on duty. You're the only person to get paid while being a guest on kill Tony in a very, very long time. That's what I'm talking about. That is absolutely incredible. How do you like working in the kitchen here at the comedy store? Oh, it sucks. It does? Yeah. What do you dislike about it? Just the grease. Just greasy. Yeah,

it's a lot of grease. You can't handle the heat. You're going to love hell. Oh my goodness. I heard they have s'mores there. That's heaven you're thinking of. How the fuck are you going to cook a s'more in heaven? Magic. Yeah, you have your own. Air fryers. They have air fryers. You can cook it anywhere in microwaves. Snap your fingers. You're in heaven, baby. I can't go. I'm jealous. Are you guys, did you guys, all you guys go to hell when you died? We're alive. We're TV. Oh, I'm sorry. Channel nine, Bend, Oregon. Oh, so these are just characters that you guys play. We are regional TV horror hosts, Tony. Wow. That laugh was very scary. How'd you do that? Well, when things are very deep between

your legs with secrets, then it just comes from the bowels of goodness of the bottom of the taints. Oh, God. All right. Tony. Oh, okay, Tony. That's very back to the kitchen. You go. Tony Gidley, everybody. What's your social media? Tony Gidley, 28. Tony Gidley, 28. It's in your head. All right. We're having fun here. Hey, look, one of the regulars is here. They were both performing at the same time in a fucking window during the show a minute ago, but one of them is here. You know this guy, very controversial figure. A lot of people say he is the most beloved person ever. A lot of people absolutely want to murder him on site. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the big red machine, the red dead revolver, the red head

red dead redemption, the red shed. Ladies and gentlemen, it is lights out William Montgomery. Thank you. Y'all, I wrote this set when I was in New York City last week. I was about to perform at Showtime at the Apollo, a bunch of blacks, spoiler alert. Smashing pumpkins is a cool band name. If I named my band after my high school hijinks, we'd call ourselves shooting schools. I miss the old weather channel. Show me some lo-fi graphics accompanied by elevator jazz. Now you've got world strangest weather and shit as programming. Bitch, I got YouTube. Hey, Red Band, when you receive a gallon of New Genics in the mail, don't blame me, queer. That's a testosterone joke. Red Band is pretty much a bitch.

Wow. Yeah, are you gonna really look at me that way, Red Band? Wow. William closing on a joke calling Red Band a bitch. That is not an angle very much used on Red Band. When I saw Red Band, I was at his place three nights ago. I was at his glory. I would never let you at my house, you fucker. I was in his glory hole in his bathroom. How would you let me hold in his bathroom? You would annoy the fuck out of me. I saw him. It's already, already in a woman's suckest bit. Are you gonna use another racist term from the nineties, you fuck? Wow. Are you really going to say that, man? Are you calling my girlfriend? You said I could watch. Are you calling my girlfriend Oriental bitch? You said I could watch. Oh, Red Band's, Red Band's walking over there. David, are you on

camera? You think I'm a bitch? You think I'm a fucking bitch? You're gonna do this? We were friends the other night. We were friends the other night. This is great. I watched his Chinese girlfriend suck his dick. Right now, they're like blood brothers, but like with COVID instead of blood. And some, uh, bubble-ish bubble gum? The Corona Bronas, William and Red Band. The bubble-ish. Hey, Red Band, I did send you the new Chenix. Oh, he's about to get his pistol. Oh, Red Band. Y'all are in for a treat. This is about to be on Live League. Red Band is about to murder me. Red Band, that's not how things work. Yeah, where do you think we are? The Orient? Bringing to bringing a new meaning to Death Squad. Yeah, where is the Death Squad? The Orient?

William, William, William. Let's talk about your set a little bit here. What set? I didn't see anything. There was some really... You would say that bit, William. That set was very disorienting. William. Thank you. I appreciate that. William, you had some really great jokes in your set. I really like the... What was your favorite? I really like the smashing pumpkin school shooter joke. It was very, very good, very well written, very in your style, in your voice, well paced, well timed out, and got a big laugh. How's this week been going for you? It's been pretty good. I am now a salesperson. A singles person? No, a salesperson for the board game Jumanji. I've been playing a bunch of board

games. Try to get that die out of my hands because you're not going to be able to. I'm playing Jumanji tonight. Jumanji? I'm playing Jumanji tonight. Okay, Brian. You know my least favorite board game? Live. I sort of don't like Monopoly. What do you think about Monopoly? Whoa. Great band is very mad at you for calling his Oriental girlfriend Oriental. This is really interesting. He is mad. I saw her suck his penis two nights ago in his fucking shower, and I think all the listeners want to know. Where did you see this at? In his bathroom. He's not allowed at my house. Me and David hang out and have barbecues all the time. I won't let him in my house. My girlfriend doesn't like him. Plot hole with that story.

Plot hole with that story. Red band doesn't shower. This is wild. But he stuck his penis. It looks a lot like mine. You weren't in his house, correct? I was in his bathroom. I saw his thing come through the hole very slow. What did his thing look like? Sort of like a squirrel grabbing onto a pecan. Fuck. Hold on. Who messed my joke up? Who said that? It doesn't matter. I'm kidding. I love you. William, what did you say that it looked like? It looked like when Red Band stuck his penis through the shower hole in his Oriental girlfriend was bending over. It looked like a squirrel holding onto peanuts. A squirrel holding onto peanuts? A squirrel holding onto peanuts. What noise does a squirrel make? I heard a bunch of that. William,

you're really good at making animal noises. Can you do a cow? How about a horse? Hold on. That's what a horse says? What else? Give me more animals. Okay. A skunk. All right. How about a walrus? Wait, that's an Australian person. It's an English person going to the match. Okay. How about a dolphin? What noise does a dolphin make? Okay. This is really gone downhill fast. All right. I don't think it has. One last one. Do an impression. Do an impression of a dog. I'm going to lose the fucking caboose. I love that joke. What do you think about William's style and delivery? You know, I love William. How long were you the regular? I feel like

how long were you doing it? I've now been doing it a year and seven months. She's longer than you. I don't remember. It's all a blur. I'm wondering, I have a random question. Would you ever replace Will I Am from the Black Eyed Peas? Yes. Last time I heard he was a part of Queen. Do you like Black Eyed Peas? I like when Will I Am sings the Bohemian Rhapsody song and I just get into it and I can't help but think, where is Red Band's Chinese girl group? I want to see her put her lips around his penis. Hey, where's your girlfriend that beats you up, you little bitch? Yeah. Why don't you show me another bruise every week from you getting hit, you little famic? Are you fucking with me right now? Did you read on the news? She's in the hospital. Why? Why? Because

she hit herself and then called the cops and said that you did it. She got in a fight with a ghost. Really? I'm kidding. I've been watching a bunch of Dateline. That is a Dateline line. All right, William, before we let you go, can we see your impression of a mosquito? Of a what? Mosquito, the bug that flies and sucks the blood of people. Hey dude, just take your socks off. Could you do an impression of me? Yeah, do one of Allie. Stand a little closer to the goddamn fence. That's very interesting. That's an interesting take. Give me another one. Can you do an impression of Red Band? Hold on, I get it. We're up in the outer space now, but y'all realize I am a dice shooting gambler. Is there any sort of what's

that word again when you're up in space? Is there any gravity in here? Oh, that's a great Brian Red Band impression. Put the ice that you throw at you back in a car. Give me another one. It's actually pretty good. No, that's it. Okay, there he goes. William Montgomery, everybody. William Montgomery, it's a William Montgomery, William Montgomery, it's a William Montgomery, he is William Montgomery. Oh, you already did that. That was probably about like my mouth tastes like Clorox. Yeah, that was a very bizarre maneuver that I mean, Trump said it would work, right? No, that's not what he said at all at all. He said that he said there should be some type of cleansing

agents in a vaccine, which there are in other vaccines. There's formaldehyde. He was actually right about that. And he was right about sunshine killing it, but they don't go back and look at any of these things. Go ahead, Allie Mikofsky. Thank you, Mr. President. Don't you produce his podcast with the yeah, I mean, I did. Oh my God, man, David, I've been looking for a replacement for a while. Oh my goodness. We actually, we actually talked last week about it. You know what? I pulled another name out of the bucket and we're going to knock it out right now. Ladies and gentlemen, this young man's first time on the show. Put your hands together for Pedro Mijo, everybody. Here he is. Here's Pedro Mijo. Thank you for the introduction.

So you know what? I find very unfair. You know, I find very unfair when you're fighting a girl and her friends find it very odd that she is fighting you. So she gets into it. I also think that it's also unfair that, you know, she kind of takes her time. The guy usually just jumps in. No, fuck's given. So there's that. There was a time I had a girl that I was really into and like every other pursuit it ended with misery, despair and self-loathing. Also known as Manuela. Manuela, would you like to say hello? Yeah, so I'd like to say hello. Shut the fuck up. All right, so. Fuck. Okay, okay, okay. So there was a, there was a, fuck. There you go, Pedro Mijo.

I don't have to. I don't have to. Thank you there. It's okay. Pedro. There you go. Pedro, that was a very unorthodox set. How long you been on comedy? I've been doing it for about a month and a half. Month and a half. You started during the pandemic? Obviously. How old are you? 25, six, 25 this year. No, 20, 26 this year. When? When's your birthday? It's actually next month. September. Yeah. September what? 22 or Virgo. Wow, what's yours? September 8th. Oh my goodness. Mine is September 11th. Wow. That way you never forget. Oh my gosh. Didn't see that one coming at all. I actually had a joke before. I'm a regional TV horror host. It's also 9-11 because that joke crashed and burnt.

9-11. My favorite bingo number is Be Quiet. That joke was already made. Yeah, I know. Why did the chicken crust? Okay. Pedro, welcome to the show. You are 25, going on to 26 very quickly. I still feel like you might be 17. Yeah, I would say it's like 15. You are. You have those young ages. Any of your classmates? Forget it. I'm not going to make that joke. What's your favorite science teacher? What's her name? He passed the test. Okay. Red Band still deeply affected from the words of William Montgomery minutes ago. Still riding that adrenaline and perhaps a bleach poisoning running through his veins. Pedro, tell us about your life. You're 25. What do you do for work? All right. So I don't really have a job except working at a factory whenever I feel like going.

Why do you have such a lax schedule at the factory? Because I just feel like there's so many things to do throughout the day. Why do I need to be slaving over something? What kind of factory is it? You're such a bad comedian. I feel like it could be the Laugh Factory. It's a cookie factory. It's a cookie factory. It's a cookie factory. A cookie factory? Yes. Uh-oh. Red Band's new favorite comedian of the year. I don't like sweets. I don't either. Your Instagram at 4 a.m. tells an entirely different story. Yeah, meat and cheese, a different story. You're right. So what kind of cookies are you making over there? You guys know the JNJ, no, that's this brand name. Jenny, Jerry's, the whole cookie, you know, the one with the crazy hairs and stuff.

Yeah. Tastes nasty. The cookies that you make taste nasty. They taste nasty because they're not made with love. What are you good at? Like, you make shitty cookies, you write shitty jokes. What's like a talent that you have? Well, I did serve my country. What did you serve? What did you do? You served them cookies? What are we talking about here? Now I do. But no, I used to serve for the military back in 2013 to 16 and for the U.S. Army at Fort Hood. Really? Yeah. Wow. That's incredible. What branch of the military were you in? Army. The army? Yes. Why do I feel like you're lying? How many push-ups can you do? 25. I'm not going to do it though. Why? Because I don't feel like doing it. What if we had William do 25 alongside of you? William, will you be down? Come on. Here

we go. Lay down, guys. Here we go. 25 push-ups coming from both of them. There's some armed forces music coming at you. Here we go. 25 push-ups. One, two, three, four. Come on. This is for America. Keep up, William. This is very exciting. Wow. This kid really was in the army. This is very impressive. All right. This is very impressive. Okay, guys, you're good. You're good. That's enough. That's enough. That's enough. This kid just dominated you in a push-up competition, William. How does that make you feel without using the microphone? She's nowhere to be found. Okay, there goes William Montgomery. Here he goes. He's hogging it up on his way back to his seat. Pedro, what's your love life like? I got a girlfriend that I don't like as much as I should. Wait, what? I have a girlfriend

I don't acknowledge as much as I should. Why don't you acknowledge your girlfriend? Because she's not here. Where is she? That's a good question. What does that mean? I think she's with her family. What? This is just in the weather report. I'm more than sure she's with her family. Murky with a chance of moon tonight. Okay. What do you mean you're pretty sure she's with her family? What does this mean? Be more clear. It means that I don't like to keep tracks on her, but I know in good faith that she's with her family. When's the last time you spoke with her? Like about an hour before I got in here. Oh, okay. So she's with her family? Jesus fucking Christ. You're paranoid or something. I don't know what she is right now. She's no longer with us. She's with

her family. Exactly. You have a really interesting energy. Thank you. When you walked out, you seemed like really comfortable and adorable and sweet, and now you seem very nervous. I feel like because you're new, you're like trying to figure out like who you are, but you're not being yourself. So it's really hard to like get a read on you, and it seems like you're really charming and sweet, and you don't have to be like a mysterious bad boy with a girlfriend. Yeah, it's like a helicopter. It's having flashbacks to the war. Oh, God. Actually, there was a shooting that was there, and they thought it was me, but no, that wasn't it. Oh my goodness. Wow. Why did they think it was you? Dude, look at me. I'm white. You're not white. Everybody looks at me, and they're like, Hey,

that's the white boy. No, they don't. You obviously don't know where you don't live where I live. Nobody does that. Your name is Pedro, and you look like a Pedro. Oh, look at that. He brings me. That is the whitest dance I've ever seen. I don't got it. I don't got it. This is ringtone. Joel Viere, you're our senior East Los Angeles correspondent. What do you think about this guy? What race would you call him? This guy's my cousin, eh? Oh, shit. There you go, man. God, I thought that was fucking digits for a second over there. He's only the white guy at the million man marks. That's it. We were featured on Fools Gone Wild. Did you see that? Oh, what? We were feeding a clip of, uh, did you guys see that? Yeah, Los Digits was on a viral, uh,

massive, uh, Mexican, um, uh, it's basically like World Star, but for Latinos because on the episode where I asked him, uh, what's your first pickup line when you meet a girl and he goes, what's up fool? That's the whole clip and it just keeps going over and over. It's really funny. All right. How long you been with this girl? Uh, for about three years. Is she Latino as well? Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. Is she? Yeah, she is. Have you ever gotten her pregnant? How many times, 20? I don't want to talk about it. Have you ever gotten her pregnant? Oh gosh. Hey, Joe, this is an interview. Interviews are supposed to be compelling. How about we talk about the military? Yeah. Yeah, this, this is more interesting than...

Was the girl, is your girlfriend the one who inspired your joke about getting in fights? No. What was that joke? I was confused. So I thought the joke was funny because I was trying to make, uh, longer joke and it did not work out. I didn't have enough time in order to get to that joke. So at the end, there was a good punch line in this. Pedro, I like your style, dude. You just keep writing, keep trying. Don't give up. There's something in there. There's something deep in there, but I can, I'm always good at, uh, one good talent that I have is I can spot somebody before they even do anything decent of how, what their potential is. I have a good barometer for potential and I see you being a teapot full of potential. Thank you so much. There he goes.

Pedro Mijo, ladies and gentlemen. The king of potential. Fuck yeah. One of the comedians with the most potential we've ever seen. All potential, that guy. Pedro Mijo. Shitty cookies. Shitty cookies. Shitty at his factory. He was bad at the military. He's a bad boyfriend, but a lot of potential is a comedian. Uh, we have another regular ladies and gentlemen, roast God, joke writing, guru. One of my favorite human beings, ladies and gentlemen, it's David Lucas. Here he is. Let's do this shit. Here he is. The great David Lucas. Yeah. The WNB, the WNBA is back and these hoes are complaining about their pay.

Everybody knows the WNBA sucks. I think they should be paid by the hour. And if they get over 20 points, then you can get a bonus bitch, but you're not getting what LeBron gets. Nobody wants to pay thousands of dollars to sit court side to see a game full of layups. And two new hoes are throwing alley hoops and breaking backboards. Sorry, man. Tony has to talk to William like he's a kid. All right, that's another joke. That's another joke. David Lucas.

WNBA is the most unwatchable sport ever. Oh, yeah. I don't mind it. I think baseball is way worse to watch. Have you ever watched a WNBA game? Oh, WM. I'm sorry. I said NBA. No, we're talking about the WNBA. Oh, my God, bro. I'm in tears. The way you talk to William is unbelievable. I mean, it's just unbelievable. And by the way, it works. The way I talk to William works. I gave him the old shaky finger immediately. It works immediately. I get direct results. I've known William for a while now. I've communicated with him many different ways. I used to communicate like an adult, like a human, like someone that respects somebody.

And now I'm stuck communicating the way that works. A lot of hand signals, a lot of this, a lot of that. Very good. Good job, William. Tony, next up, you'll be communicating by Weegee Bullard. Hey, Tony, did Allie tell you that she aborted our baby? Oh, is this shrill? Oh, my goodness. Wow. I'm surprised, David. You ain't told nobody. That's why my nickname is Back Allie. I like that Back Allie. We were trying to have a mixed baby in hopes that they would be like the greatest comedian ever. Oh, my goodness. She got scared seven weeks in. Wow. She must have let Donnell get her pregnant instead. She wanted that. You cheated on me? You know, I don't like to be exclusive. Yeah, that's why she went out of town because she was sad and shit.

Wow. We would have the ugliest baby. I'm handsome. Well, you're handsome, too. That's so cool that the last comedian let you use his military sleeping bag as a t-shirt tonight. Did you wear that shirt last week? Or a couple of weeks ago. Same outfit. It was actually a couple months ago. A couple of months ago wore the same outfit. He's from the hood, Fort Hood. Yeah. Tony's dressed like a gay marathon runner. That's what I am. I'm actually, I come out as both a marathon runner and gay in this past week and sprint to the dick. That's right. I sprint to the dick. And when I hear the gunshot, I go, Oh, my God. No. What do you think the baton is? Right. When Tony hear a gunshot, he called the police. That's right. I do. Even if I'm the one shooting it,

I'll call the police on myself. Excuse me. There's a gay man with a gun. Sir, is it you? Right. Anyway, David, you talked about the WNBA women playing Allie. What are your thoughts on the WNBA? You're very pro women. You are considered by many to be a feminist. You're very much, some people say the next Amy Schumer. Better. What? Better. That's my bae. I know. I'm kidding, David. That's a joke, David. Come on. Yeah. I don't watch. I don't watch if no. Right. No. Yeah. And I also think that they don't deserve equal pay because they're not getting the same amount of views. You are exactly correct. It's not because of like a men, women thing. I think if more people appreciated WNBA, then I'd be all for it, but people aren't into it from what

I'm aware. You are absolutely right. The ratings make it so that it is an absolute laughable joke. The only reason that they don't get rid of it, in fact, because it is truly unwatchable, the only reason they don't, companies lose money just to be, have the image of being involved with women, but nobody's watching. Yeah. I think it's good though. You know, at least it's there, whether they're losing money or not. Maybe there's some young lesbians out there, not sure who to look up to. Ellen's out of the picture for them. That is true. They can look up to Tony still. Oh, Joel Byron. How dare you? Hold on. Keep Angel playing for a second. I like this segment that we're into right now, because now I'm going to

switch over. I'm going to go to skeleton on this one. Skeleton, what do you, another lovely lady of Kill Tony fame. What do you think about the WNBA? You're very pro women usually. Let's see what happens here. I'm, you know, if they want to play ball, let them play ball. Wow. I think they should do it in skirts though, right? No bones about it. Skeleton is, oh yes. That's how they do it. They like to do that shit naked. They hit it with a trumpet. Yeah. But Tony, the more to add to that joke was you don't even see women that stand up for women sitting courtside. You never see Beyonce or Oprah at no damn WNBA. Hell no. Absolutely. Absolutely not. There's nobody courtside. Bro, I sat courtside at a LA Sparks game for 125 bucks. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. Why would you do

that? Took my daughter to some shit. Jesus Christ. It was a positive experience with your daughter. The only courtside seeds David has ever had was at the mall in the food court. Wow. Shut your bisexual Mozart looking ass up. Shut your camouflage ass up. You look like Beethoven's lover. You said camouflage. That motherfucker wrote a waltz. Will you roast me? And you just bought some malts. Hello. Oh shit. Ali's asking for a roasting right now. Ali looked like the type of bitch that commit suicide after she get fucked. Wow. That joke died. You look like you look like you cut yourself when you can't find your hair ties. The only the only thing she squirts is blood when she's slitting her wrist.

Oh, there was those. Okay. All right. Over there. Vincent shadow. Just really really saying everything that comes to his head right now. That was quality. Anything else for this? That was quality. Rewind the tape. Channel nine. Bendo. Anything else for the alley roast? Joel Berg looks like the homosexual Mona Lisa. Oh, you know what? I'm a woman. Fuck out of here. You want to see my tits? You stand up when you pee, motherfucker. Man, Alisa. Oh, well, David Lucas sits down when he pees. Okay. Okay. Vincent shadow. Thank you. William. Did you have your hand up for a second? You did? Yeah. Okay. Give him another mic. He's not speaking into my mic again. I use it again. Say, I'm sick as a motherfucker. I have been around around a bunch of blacks in Georgia. All right.

Man, get your eyes out. These are the host. Man, get your Confederate flag. These are the host of brothers in cursive. Generally, this generally grandson. All right, go ahead. Hey, Ali, I loved you in Spider-Man 2. Jesus, William's out of control. Yeah, bro. Spit in my mouth. Oh my goodness. Tony, you should spank him on stage. It'd be exciting. You know what, William? Like it. Tony gonna like it too much. We are COVID. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. My goodness gracious. Vincent, you are wild right now. What's going on over there? You've been licking bleach pads? Oh, yeah. Okay. There goes David Lucas, everybody. There he is. David Lucas. We love you, David. Great stuff. We're flying through him tonight. We're getting through him. We are flying through. Look,

they're wrestling. Tickle on. There they are. They are wrestling right now. They're having a physical fight. Oh my goodness. Wow. The only thing David is slamming is a grand slam at Denny's. Guys, we are out of bucket pools on this short bucket night, which means only one thing, everybody. We have one more regular, everybody. I mean, ladies and gentlemen, some people call him the warlock of Kill Tony. Some people have said the goat of the moat. Some people have said the best of the dressed, the chairmen of the board, the feels on wheels, the rolling thunder is his Indian name. We know him

as Michael Laird. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, Michael, Michael Laird couldn't be here this week. I'm most alone. I'm most alone, but I talk mostly, I sing mostly about clone. Before you see me, you smell me. All right. So I love clone, especially if you live in one of those cities that has shit in the water. Am I right? I mean, I bet, I bet Jeffrey Epstein for a clone smells like Teen Spirit. Remember from the 70s that the clone, hi karate. When I went out of business, they were like, bye karate. And one more about clone. Hey, if the scientist formulating the clone maybe works on a corona vaccine,

then Calvin Klein would have that bitch in two weeks. Oh, God, I wish my like a macy's look at my face and trace me. I'd look like salmon spacey. You can smell me from space. Wow. Post cologne. Most most cologne. I wait in the most I thought I I thought I smelled something. That's you. I took a card when I went to Paco Robon. You don't need clothes when you got cologne on. Wow. Yeah, my goodness. This is very impressive. How many songs about cologne do you have? You like that setup? Do you? Oh, my goodness. Oh, okay. Don't drink. Red Band actually just sprayed you with cologne. Yeah, my cologne with me.

It's his painting mating ritual. You know how guys who get fucked by horses, they got to spray their buttholes with that horse cologne. Oh, I don't lead up. She knows what I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, Ali and I both know about taking a horse cock once in a while. You know, Brian would. I'm sorry. I'd spray too much. I know it's unbelievable. He had he had a drink tonight. That's all it takes for Red Band to start throwing ice and spraying people with cologne. Understand. He's wasted. I don't drink as much anymore. I spent my cologne can't afford food. I'm always hungry, but at least I look good. Oh, you rhymed food with good on that one. That's

incredible. Yeah. I'm most cologne. That is very impressive. That is just in parliament. Cigarettes. That's how he smokes. I mean, put some straight to the head. Brian just had a heart attack. Drinking cologne and I'm dying on because cologne is poisonous. Wow. My goodness. That is that is just absolutely incredible. Skeleton. What do you think about most cologne? That's my godly. Come again. Go ahead. Skeleton. What do you think about that? Okay. What do you think about most cologne skeleton? I can't smell. So I don't really get it. That's right. Skeleton lost her sense of smell. Yeah. Well, I don't have lungs. I've lost a lot of streaming since Corona. Because most of

Hey, is this in my shot? Most cologne, you're in the rap game. You probably have sex with many women at night. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you a question here. Have you ever, have you ever by any chance had any STDs? Yeah. Oh my goodness gracious. Oh, what have you had? Um, seven to 21 day ones. Whoa. That's a lot of real. No, I never had nothing. What I said last week was I go into the doctor, right? Yeah, there was some confusion. I go, look at this. That was months ago, by the way, we talked about this last week. But yeah, I found a low disorder. The only reason I'm on this show is because I'm disabled. That's not true. Oh, it's because you're

very abled, not disabled. Your dad abled. Well, I know I've been in my son. So I'm definitely not that. Oh, that is a that one left a little stink in the room. If you know what I'm talking about. Do you have any Dracula noir? Dracula noir. Wow. He's a freestyle rapper. You can do anything. Do you have any do you have any raps about? Do you have any raps about homemade colognes? Oh, yeah. I'd love to hear it. Are you thinking of it right now while we ask these questions back in I'm going to kick your ass for even asking that. No, I'm just kidding. Homemade colognes come to my home and I'll make some. I love the act out of the bat. Yeah. I'm a witch. Come bitch and sniff this.

Oh, you trigger this bitch while you get a spritz in your eyes. No, you can't lie now or you're about to die from cologne poisoning because they're alcohol in it and I spray that cologne and it gets all around as I spin it. Wow. This is this is one of the smartest and dumbest segments in the history of Kill Tony without a doubt. It's absolutely most cologne a brilliant character. Before you see me, you can smell me. It does the album come with any like scratchy samples or anything like that? Yeah. Like a magazine where you open it up and smell. Yeah, it's like smell me in the elevator when I'm not there. Run your mouth and I don't care. I cannot describe in any words how much I love you. Yeah. Well, can you describe it with a penis

in the. What? What did you just say to me? A penis in the butt. What about a penis in the butt? Can you describe how much you love me by putting your penis in my butt? Jesus, most cologne. My goodness. Now I see what types of smells you're covering up over there. Exactly. Bought a butt sack. I'm spraying and I'm spraying on you. I'm dabbing. I'm dabbing on you. What does your face tattoo say? I see some face tattoos. Yeah, it says Shona right here. She's the godmother improvization comedic improvising Chicago second city of reality, right? No, I'm probably living in China. And then they say sleep me. It's wait, what? Sleep me. William, no, you're not allowed to enter. You're not allowed to interrupt my. No, you can come over

here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it gets awkward if you come near me now. Very awkward. You've seen my only person. I'm a monster. If William came over now, I will fucking kill him. Yes, absolutely. I agree. Allie Mikovsky with a question. You sent me a DM a while ago that confused me and I just wanted to get some clarity on that. Did he ask you for one of your wigs? No, this has happened before you might end up in a Rambo Ramon a lot. I remember it, Allie. Yeah, you said that you don't like my ex, David. I don't believe I have an ex. Yeah, I got mixed up with my mutual friends. But there's a David. Well, um, you know the infinity, right? Yeah, you were homeboy so much. She doesn't you do back your shows are used to obviously. Um, but

um, they're a friend of theirs. David, I thought he used to date you and he's a bitch. I want to fucking kill that guy. Why do you hate this guy so much? Why? Well, you know, I'm a disabled and every day is a blessing. Yeah, your mom does. Oh, go ahead. Well, um, I came home from a company show and it was one of my friends in LA. And I was so excited and I'm like, I'm back. And he was like, um, you know, like, I describe them as they hipster bitches. You know, those are the guys that Allie absolutely falls head over heels. Oh, so Michael Lair. I absolutely love you. I love most cologne. I love all of your characters.

The dice man. What was that? And you injured? Three blind mice see how they run. Who ever thought I'd be jealous of myself? Oh, I love you so much. Michael Lair. You did it again this week. Most cologne and instant classic and kill Tony history. Wait, wait, wait, hold off on that music because uh, speaking of Allie falling head over heels. No, let's not do it. You don't want to do a skateboard trick. Let's have Michael Lair do the skateboard trick instead. Uh, no, that was tonight's episode. You can hit the music. Allie Mikovsky's on social media on all platforms. Michael Lair is Michael Lair comedy. Check him out. Watch all of his stuff. He's an absolute genius.

He's the best. We love Michael Lair so much. Michael Lair comedy.com. He's got a bunch of amazing merch. Anything else, Michael? Um, yeah. Um, okay, there you go. Absolutely. Let's see that drawing from Ryan J. E belt tonight. Here it is. Whoa. A very cool ish drawing. My goodness. Frightening channel nine. Beautiful drawing. Everything's available. Ryan G belt.com. The great Allie Mikovsky was here. Thank you. Legend the record holder for the longest tenured regular in kill Tony history. So much great stuff going on. You are on everything social media wise. Is that correct? Yeah, I deleted my Twitter, but I'm on Instagram and not Allie Mack and I have a podcast called resting bitch. Why do you delete your Twitter? Just Twitter sucks. Yeah, Twitter sucks.

You'll be off it like a year. I like it for promotion. I like it for promotions. I'll come back only garbage people follow it though. You just end up with garbage fans if you promote too much on Twitter. Speaking of promoting too much, it's Jeremiah Watkins, everybody. The host of Jeremiah Wonders. There's his Venmo for those of you that feel like giving away free money. Venmo at Jeremiah dash Watkins. I'll be headlining in North Carolina this weekend. Come see me Lexington, Kentucky the following weekend. Oh my God. Oh my goodness. It's okay. It's okay. No need for the spotlight. Keep going, Jeremiah. Keep going, Jeremiah. And then I'll be at Acme, Minnesota at the end of the month and there's a new Jeremiah wonders with Donald Trump on look out for it. There you go.

Jetski Johnson, everybody. Very professional, everyone. Very good. Keep it moving Jetski. Thank you so much. Social media is Jetski Johnson. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Chroma Chris was here tonight, everybody. Chroma, what do you think about tonight's episode? Oh, it was to die for Tony. Awesome. Joel Berg, Joel Jimenez was Joel Viere the whole time. I just figured that out right now. I'm mostly sorry on everything. Mostly sorry podcast on everything. And if you think I'm a hot bitch, send me money on Venmo. Joel dash Jimenez. Fuck it. Come fuck this. I absolutely love it. That's right. And Venmo for Jetski Johnson is at Jetski Johnson for those of you

that actually read signs on that's something I would love to. That's a Venmo Jetski Johnson. All one word J E T S K I J O H N S O N. She picks her spots on the show hits grand slams. Really picks her moments. Venmo Jetski Johnson. That's the first time we've plugged that in the history of the show. You could also follow at Chroma Chris on Venmo as well. Oh, wow. Chris. There you go. Give it away. Joel Berg. You got Joel Berg. What are you? What's your Venmo Joel dash Jimenez? Why not give money to some people that don't always beg for it? You know, or maybe it's a good idea trend setting. Oh, go ahead. Allie. What's your Venmo? Allie Mokovsky. And you know what? Michael Lair. What's yours? Because you know, you probably have a lot

of bills and stuff. I just hit a big sock. Tim. So what's your Venmo? I'm a comedy six nine. No, it's not comedy six nine. You got that. That's your Venmo. Well, double check with them. You're going to get money to some stranger. Oh, it's my it's my man. Oh, everything. Okay. There's no way you're comedy six nine on Venmo. Well, just double check with him on Twitter before you send anything. If you don't know the answer, you could just say I don't know when are you gonna apologize to me when you find out you're wrong. I will. You will. Yeah, you will. Yeah, you will. I will. You will. I will. You will. I will. He is actually comedy six nine on Venmo. Wow. Well, you know what? I'm sorry, Michael Lair. It won't be the first time. You know what? I'm going to give

some money to you. You know, I'm gonna give some money to you also. No, I just suck real big. I don't want any money spread the wealth. Michael Lair makes and sells incredible merch. So he really doesn't need sent money. You might as well just go buy some awesome Michael Lair stuff at Michael comedy. No doubt. No doubt. All right. We love everybody. Everybody's great. Shout out to Charlie from Vito's Pizza. Gina from SpeedWeed. Ryan J. E. Belt. Amazing show. Thanks again to our sponsors and thank you for that to the comedy store guys. We love you. Yeah, it's incredible. It's all happening here at the comedy store. Check out the live shows on the patio streaming live if you're ever in town. Grab some Vito's pizza on your way. Have a great

night, everyone.