KILL TONY - KT: Behind the Tape (Ep: 784 Yakov Smirnoff + Ari Matti)

Episode Date: September 12, 2026

An exclusive, behind the scenes look from KT Episode 784 KT guest Yakov Smirnoff + Ari MattiYakov Smirnoff, Ari Matti, Brian Simpson, Pat O'Neill, Dedrick Flynn, Martin Phillips, D Madness, Michael A. Gonzales, Jon Deas, Matthew Muehling, Grooveline Horns, Joe White, Troy Conrad, Monica, Colt McNeely, Steve Glass, Nathan Poling, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - RECORDED– 08/31/2026Watch Kill Tony and other exclusive content, ad free! Plus tons of perks. Get Kill Tony + for $5/month now at https://killtony.supercast.com/Morgan & Morgan: You can go to https://ForThePeople.com/Tony to start your claim.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Always find something wrong. I've been putting a witch on shit for way too long. Yeah. Do it in your... You could even do it in your auto-tune thing. You got your auto-tune thing? Oh, damn. I don't have it today.

You came with the cheap package today. That's crazy because I have all white keyboard. Oh, I like that. Oh, now you like me. That's exactly, you know me. It was cheap and cheap. It was cheap until he saw was all. You know me, super racist.

The guy, the band member, the band member that I'm always meanest to is Matt Muelling, but I'm a racist. I'm a racist. Yeah, when I first got here, there was a dude who was saying that he signed up for four years in a row and didn't get picked. That's insanity. But, I mean, it was like the same thing for, uh, let's like, the same thing for, uh, let's William Montgomery, I think, when he first got on. It was like four years before he got on. Yeah.

I'm from Chicago, started comedy Peoria, Illinois, home of Richard Breyer. Now I'm a full Texan, been here two years. Ready to sign up for like the 60th week in a row and knock it on. It's 30 for me. The dirty 30. That's my cousin too, by the way. Yeah, yeah. This is Dorel.

Yeah. This is Q Rose. Frank Caesar. Yeah, this is my cousin. You've seen four brothers. He's like Mark Wahlberg, but more autistic. Whose car we take it? Not my, I can't drive.

All right. I'm spending enough time with white people. I'm about to get out of here. All right, guys. Kino, roll the last 10 seconds of the AI video so that they know what they're playing into. Roll it. It's very stupid, but you'll see why you're playing runaway.

Baby I've got to play. Runaway fest as you care. So on that can, it should be your key thing. By the way, and I was going to say this. And I hate giving musical notes, but I was going to say this. The drums are overwhelming on your guys' version. Like overwhelming. Play that one more time.

Where'd that come from? Is that you? To what? To smother out every other instance? instrument, play that one more time, play the actual version. It should be D Madness' base stealing the show. I'm just saying. It's a, it's a, it's a, Heidi's Farts in a Jar would sell like crazy, by the way.

Oh my God. Remember to tell Monica that. We'll just sell empty jars and call it Heidi's Farts in a Jar. I will attempt to fart in them if that's what the show needs. I'm literally going to mention it on the show tonight. writing it down. All right. Before we get into it, I got to tell you guys about something.

We just launched Kill Tony Plus. Here's the deal. You sign up. You get every new episode ad-free and uncensored. We're giving members a brand new angle of the show that's never been seen before. This is as close as you can get to sitting in the audience. You also get bonus content. Q&A episodes.

Behind the scene stuff. Extra bits you're not getting anywhere else. And there's perks on the merch store too. It's five bucks a month. That's less than a cost of a beer or a pack of cigarettes or a lot of fun things. Links in the description or go straight to killtony. Dot supercast.com to join. This is a very, very exciting opportunity for all you diehard fans and super haters.

Go to killtony supercast.com. All right. Back to the show. Knock knock. Who's there? Sue. Sue who? Exactly.

Jesus Christ. Anyway, this ad is for Morgan and Morgan. Morgan and Morgan has been fighting for the people for more than 35 years. Did you know that, Red Band? That's half your age. There are America's largest injury law firm. They're America's largest injury law firm with more than 1,000 lawyers and 100 offices nationwide. They've also recovered over $35 billion for their clients.

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Their fee is free unless they win. And whoever wrote that joke should probably be sued. Now back to the show. Heidi's Farts in a Jar available now. Actually roll it. Hit record. We are rolling.

Hello there. Keep playing, John. Keep playing that weird organ music. Hello there. I'm proud to say you should go to killmerch.com for our new product, Heidi's Farts in a Jar, where Heidi actually farts in a jar. You can get it now at kilmerch.com,

along with a lot of other great stuff. Go check it out, kilmerch.com. God. It's so much work chopping down on that. The bad weather man. Ever since I met him. It's supposed to hail tomorrow. Ah, there was a tornado at my place.

Winds were 90 miles an hour. I'm like, wow, no one else in the area. No one else in the metropolitan area had it. Oh, Yakoff Smyrnaff, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome, legend. How are you? We're so happy to have you. Thank you.

Make yourself at home. If you want a bite to eat, we have unbelievable food. We have drinks right here. Make yourself at home. When did you know you're going to be on the panel today? When did I know? Oh, a couple of months ago, when I was here in April, Tony saw me and said, I think you should do this panel with me.

And I said, I'd love to, but I'm heading the tour. European tour for two months so he said well let's book it after that so that's what happened yeah and then and then I got the that Ari is going to be on a panel with me and that was that was interesting pairing and the assassin and the Russian that's a little scary What do you think of Ari? I think it's hilarious. It's so energetic and funny and just unpredictable.

It's great. We're going to have some fun tonight. It's very easy. It's very easy. The whole trick is to just pretend like you know the show like you're having fun. They're going to be, my fans are going to be watching to see if you want to be there. You know what I mean? You're just playing with the kids today.

No, I'm just playing at the playground with the kids having fun. Well, I'll only set you up for you to win all day, all day. Thanks for you thinking of me. Of course. Since you offered it, I've been watching it, it was like, this amazing. Yeah. The tonight show, make your bigger, because it involves so many different players. I'm really excited.

Yes. It's going to be fun and easy. It's going to be so fun you're not going to believe when it's over, you're going to go, that's it? We did it. Does it last like an hour and a half? It's about two, a little, about two hours. And she spotted me and it's the first place that I said with her is in death that she gave my name about. No oil, it gives me chills and I know, I know.

The pole bear or something. Yeah. I'm so close with Peter. I mean, like, so close with Peter. And like, you know, one of my favorite things to get to do, and always has been to do, is to, you know, like Quentin Tarantino does it with great actors. He puts great actors that people, maybe they forgot about him,

maybe they did this, maybe they did that, but he finds the right role for them and uses them in just the right time. And that's what I like to do with the life. legends of the comedy story. That's why you and Ari Maddie, a lot of young people are going to watch Kazari Maddie's on it and they're going to go, wow, who the fuck is this guy? He's funny. He's old school. That's cool. They love old school because you guys just do jokes. A lot of people today are long setups, a lot of ba-b-b-b-bub. Everyone likes boom, boom, boom, you know,

in the moment, in the moment. And that's what's important on this show. You know, don't overthink things. But if you've got something, go for it. If it's free and you got it, go for it. And if a lot of people are talking, because on this show there's a lot of mics and a lot of noise and stuff, if you have something, if you put the mic up to your mouth and look right at me, I'll set you up clean. So the Yakop, what do you think about all this? And then you will have it, you know what I mean? You'll have it every time. Yeah. And sometimes if it happens a lot, I'll just nod, which means, you know what I mean? Which means like, go for it. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be great. It'll be great. And sometimes you might

not say anything for someone, but sometimes might have five things. Like, it doesn't, there's no rhyme or reason. Sometimes Ari will be dominating. Sometimes I'll be on a run. Sometimes Red Van will be on a sound effect run or something. You know what I mean? Like, it all breathes. As long as you're having fun, that's the whole secret.

Because what people, the fans don't like is they don't want to go, man, it looked like that guy didn't even want to be there. You know what I mean? I want to be there. Exactly. So just have fun. I know it sounds corny, but it's literally the best tip for being on the, this show exactly I was watching right before I came here today with Adam Bray

back to a whole yeah that you were doing with Ari kind of similar yeah oh yeah making super stars these guys are gonna all arena acts basically yeah yeah it's the best success you know from nothing it's the same for me it was like

when Mitzie talked, you know, they said Mitzie want to talk to I said, I don't have no idea and I thought if there was a producer that was supposed to come and see me that's why I flew to

he didn't come but she spotted me I got to say you know like I'm like okay but it's allowed me to do the tonight show for years what's the address and Jim McCull it was the gamekeeper there he would not put me out and one day uh one day uh he is after six years like she would move me in the showcase and he would and so one day he came and said yacca will let's save time I need to get each other You'll get on that show when hell trees is over.

So I started watching Weather Channel. Why do you need a bumper on top of that? So, I do. I knew stuff. You know, it's not going to happen. So I just moved on in my own way. And I did a commercial, Miller & commercial, and it became like a 40-grey.

And Carson saw it, and he said to McColley, I thought we're going to have this guy on. Wow, that's how you do it. And McCallie, it goes, oh yeah, we were about to. Yeah, of course. So then she goes, I was in Raleigh, North Carolina, Mincy, no plans of that, they said, call me, and she goes, gas, who called?

I go, who called? McCauley, he's such an asshole. He wants you on a shove. Yeah. So, and I want to see, Tell him you go, fuck him. But I quickly go, okay, I'll talk to him. I love it.

Put on your winter coat because hell froze over, baby. That's exactly what I did. After this was exactly what happened. So I do my staff, right? I do my staff. And Carson Polk on the couch was a huge role. Huge. And then, you know, McColle gets between me and Carson in a break.

He goes, can you do another set like this couple of months from now? I said, I never thought it was. When the hell freezes over is that one of this? So he goes, touche, too chet. But I love it. I didn't need it at that point, but obviously when you get a break like that, and you do it seven times, you become that. Yep.

Yep. Let's go. 815. We have a blind bass player that's a fucking virtuoso. He's the best. Unbelievable. He plays every instrument, but he's a master of the bass guitar. I tell you, I saw Deep Madness at 80Vs last week, and I mean, listen to this, and I mean fucking destroying on drums.

Because I've only ever seen him on Michael's set where he has to learn where everything is, and five seconds right beforehand. Dude, when he has his own drum set, it is crazy. I'm there eating dinner. I'm eating dinner with friends, and they're trying to talk to me. I'm like, sh, sh, sh, I'm literally just watching D fucking overfill, right?

He's doing shit, nobody does. Now, he was just on the drums. I mean, he was literally like, at Eddie V's, of all places. It's not even a fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, I mean, seriously. Not doing good, not doing great. Like, awe jaw dropping.

I couldn't blink. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I'm like, they're talking. I'm like, are you guys fucking, are you guys hearing and seeing this? I swear to God, it was mesmerizing. Because he's normally on Michael's drum set. I'm like, oh, he's great on the drums. This is great.

When he knows where his fucking shit is, It's absolute insanity. Obviously you guys know this, but I was I mean unbelievable. He is a force of fucking nature. It is crazy. A super savon I was taking us time and I'm telling I'm that word like br We're gonna get one I'm gonna throw on that D tonight We're gonna throw what in a match up when there's a pretty girl around. It's just, you know when you're walking?

Fashionably late, rock star. Oh my goodness. I was entertaining the police. We have to keep a good relationship. I love it. I know you was that tall. Songs over fucking six minutes long.

I watched all day. I watched your kids. You did the mind. I've of course seen him, but I've watched. I've watched. You go together. Okay, thank you. Of course.

Hey. What's up, Wade? I got you. I got you. Oh, are he's pin? Perfect. I like this. Oh, he's the man always clas.

I like it. I wear white pants and white shoes like that. I'll take a bite of spaghetti. It'll get all over there. You did it so good with the nice, like, classic baseball atta. Every time I wear white, I step in a puddle, something crazy. All right, boys, let's go. Go.

Not anymore. My chief, semi-retired. Baby, Jesus, I'm gonna pull us out. Oh, I know. You're gonna make a bagi's on a dust over here, rather than adopting a rush, and your parents are not. So what do you do for work now that you're living in the American tree, you got saved? So, yeah.

Did you get a large, Joe? I was almost getting to say something on the way out, but no, you can't, you can't add. You got a big jokebook. What did you guys talk about? You bring him 9-11? The Mike shocked me. What? What?

First thing. Fucking shocked me. They had to switch mic. Joe, Joe! Joe! Yeah. Yeah. You got a big book.

It's his Joe newcomer. Yeah, it's a big guy. And I continued everything. Oh, dude. It fucking lit me up that fucking microphone. It brought me off the ground. Whoa. What did you talk about?

Did you tell him you, do you, what was your minute? What were your minute? Oh. Is there anybody straight in here or is everybody fucking gay? I go, I'm raising my hand because I'm straight. And then what people were late, I'm like, you're gay, it was too late, you thought about it.

Hell yeah. And everybody, yeah, it was lit up from there on. Yeah, it was, it was one after the other, just boom, boom, boom, boom. It was, I've ingrained that, that set is ingrained in me, so. How was the interview? Who was the interview? The interview went great.

I got big, applause from the audience like about 10, eight to 10 times. Wow. You got two. Did you know? From the audience. What you talking about? Yeah.

Wow. What a great time. Now what the heart of, I never knew that guy before. I heard him. I heard his name in the back. That's the only reason I knew his name before I went out there. Well, Coach, I knew everybody else.

Already got, yeah, already. Yeah, the thing shocked me just a little bit, but I was trying to play it off. And then I was like, yeah, I know, I was just laughing or whatever. And he goes, oh, and then it did it again. And I went, yeah, this thing's shocking me. What do you think it was the wireless interference? There was tape on the microphone. I don't know.

Have you kissed the number one live podcast in the world? Have you kissed a girl yet since being in Austin? Have you? I have not. I've seen the show. You haven't? Oh, we gotta get a girl. Is there a girl out there that's willing to?

You in the white shirt, get your ass over here. Look at this little cutie. Come on. This is the secret show. I'm a great guy. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Luther Thompson's first ever Austin, Texas kiss. Big, big, hard job. He does it every week.

Make some noise. All right. This is the former dark story. Like a gay way, you can say whatever you want, if you can have fun. You can have fun. I'm old school. Cash is key.

Because you can't have a hit country song if you're named Johnny Fitt. I didn't want to be a celebrity at discount tire. You have a kid? You have a child? Deep Madness. Good job, good job, but good trip. I was talking to him. Yeah, but I take off him. Really good job, dude.

The first ticket one's hard and going first. Clearly, I overdid the academic side of life. I earned a PhD in electrical engineering, a bachelor's, in physics, and a master's in virginity. But hey, I just got some pussy. Too bad it came from Red Band. Dr. Chuck has arrived in the Kiltony universe. This is my husband. He's right there.

It's doing great. Financially, we love it. It's a weird thing to tell somebody after a first date, you know? Like, what do you... When you're coming up with your jokes, you view it as a, like, a mathematical equation? Uh, well, I guess I would say that the metaphor I have is, uh, hunting for pearls.

So I'm looking for mainly natural pearls. So if I get a weird thought, during the day I just put it in my phone's notes section and then I sleep on it the next morning I you know sit up to you know you know I look through the notes and usually take it in the morning dump and you know every once in a while something makes a splash so anyway you know sleep on the idea sometimes a punchline comes sometimes you have so that's a natural pearl it's just an idea that comes into your head and you can kind of put the pieces together.

Sort of the mathematical or like flow chart type of jokes. Sometimes I do that when I'm, you know, working for a roast battle because you have to write jokes on a specific topic in a set timeframe. So then you need the like fixed joke structure. This is the information you have about the topics that you're working with. This is the kind of spotlight of, you know, the weakness. the weaknesses that you're trying to spotlight of your opponent and then you kind of write the jokes so that the punchline hits all those targets so that's more of a

mathematical structure my stand-up stuff like I said is just ideas come I record them and then look to see if I could come up with something I figure if it's more of a natural pearl that's gonna be more like my authentic voice than if I sit down every day and say I want to write jokes about socks so you know And you have to sell a take on socks. If I don't have any genuine emotion about it, it's going to come off as even stiffer than I would normally. Now, you seem like such a,

you have such a dad humor about you, but you said you're single? Yeah, well, there's no cure for dad joke face. Yeah, I'm single. Dang, well, maybe after tonight. I don't know. I don't know. I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I, uh,

I try to do a better job of putting myself out there. My last attempted romance ended in disaster. It was a speed dating event. And the best way to bomb at speed dating is tell them you like doing open mics. All right. I'm kind of joking around here, folks. Guys, today you have the fucking CLEM. A couple more time for Yakkoff.

You can get tickets to a sport, Yacob.com. How does it feel when like Ari Maddie compliments you like that? Pretty good, Ari's fucking man. I got to save a joke. I had a suicide joke that, you know, the fucking Eastern Europe conglomeration would have loved tonight, but there's no need to do it. You already brought the house down, yeah.

Save it for next week. But yeah, it feels good, dude. Fucking good episode. Awesome. Just phenomenal. So good. It's so good. Phenomenomenal.

What can I say? It was a European persuasion tonight. The euros were out. I know. I'm gonna say that at one point, like, fucking like, it's like the whitest episode. Yeah. It's not gay. It's European.

This episode is like, well, like, Joseph Handler for 10 people who pretended it is. Right, exactly. This was the fucking clan meet up. I know, the fucking, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I remember with the bowtie. I know, I know. He looked like Colonel Sanders from KFC, but like smarter.

Yeah. That's so funny. Oh, great job, Pat. I was watching, like, at first I'm like, what's like it's going to? It was a good show. The last song was killing. Tony didn't like how long we played our little disco dance song.

That was funny to do. You get to say to him about that. What do I have to say? We just, you know, ours is musical. He used his voice. Merse line goes. He watches everything. What do you get, what do you say?

He doesn't watch anything. I said make the merch line go faster. Come on, Tony, what are you doing, Mike? Yeah, we out here, bro. We get all that merch, la. What's up? Y'all out here trying to get that shirt, boy. What are you coming from? Oh, Canada.

Really? Let's go. Just graduated school. This is like my celebration. I just wanted to go to kill Tony. I was in the standby line, and they got me in right away, front row. front row I was like yeah you play defense I love you right thank you so much I love you're right thank you so much such a great show we'll do well do what do you feel

about today's show I feel great about it man you get to do it you know the bucket's crazy all different shapes and sizes of people wild success I fucking love it what can I say I love this show that I do. I just love it. As corny as that sounds, fucking Dr. Chuck was unbelievable. To get to see some old bases that we haven't seen in a long time was great.

Basin, quick set at the end, you know, it's pretty good. And yeah, we just keep moving ahead. When I came from Las Vegas, I had to tone it down, and I never, my show was never dirty. but I would say something like the word sex. And they would say, oh, you can't say sex.

You have to, so I had to change, like, be romantic. In Estonia and I'm sure in Russia, they have expressions, like through the flowers. You have to say something through the flowers, you know. Yeah, so my, for the last 33 years, this is where I'm, yeah. But so this is so far out of my comfort zone, but I think the fans of Kill Tony will really appreciate you, you know, I think, yeah, I'm hoping. 100%. But yeah, the police here like to give me a hard time, just because they're jealous of me. And they know the power that I possess.

It's just the truth. They know that I could, in a fight, I do one of these. They're cool. They get their badge over to me. Hey, Chris. Okay, oh. No, the . I love watching you on this show.

I have the reaction to, like, comedian. You're my favorite. Let's go, you hear that? That's how that BT ends. Let's go. Give me big one. Oh, you best. That's awesome.

Thank you so much. Thank you. What's your name? Liz. I'm Mike. I'll give you a handshake for real. Now that got caught on camera too. You better cut that, bro.

Can you show me what picture you got? Pardon? Can you show me what you got? Absolutely. And why'd you get that one? Why did I get her? She's cute as hell. Alright, have a good one.

Do you have any weird internet stalkers? There's a lot of people, I think they do it to everybody. Like, and they all just go after her? So I'm just one of them just because I've been on Kiltone. So I don't think it's anything special to me. to me. There's only been a couple times, for the most part, I just, I beat it and then no one's hot. But there's been a couple where I've blocked them, just because it kind of got a little weird, and it got a little uncomfortable. But then I know if they saw me at first and they wouldn't do anything.

Because they don't want to mess with this. They're ready. Like a stalker. Hi guys, yeah, they let me be in the most coolest talker in the world. He's really cool. Oh yeah. All the graphic photos of Sarah and my world. Always on the ceiling as well. I need a go to ticket back. Some people get rid.

Some people just win. Go to ticket. Can I please just have.