Know Thyself - E108 - Alexis Ren: Shed Your Outdated Identity & Embrace Your Multi-Dimensional Self

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

Model and actress Alexis Ren shares her powerful journey of reclaiming her multi-dimensional identity after rising to fame at a young age. Alexis openly discusses the challenges of navigating the opinions of others and societal expectations, and how she ultimately found the courage to shed her outdated identity and embrace the full complexity of who she is.Through her own personal growth work, Alexis discovered the transformative power of acting as a spiritual practice, allowing her to connect more deeply with her emotions and access hidden parts of herself. She also speaks candidly about facing limiting beliefs, and the crucial process of rebuilding her self-worth and authentic beauty in our superficial world.She also shares her journey towards a holistic, healthy state of being - and her insights on using one's "triggers" as opportunities for growth and transformation. She also shares valuable wisdom on the importance of building supportive friendships and community, and her decision to start a podcast as a means of empowering others on their own journeys of self-discovery.André's Book Recommendations: https://www.knowthyself.one/books___________0:00 Intro 1:24 Our Dinner Party with Bryan Johnson 3:15 The Reality of Becoming a Podcaster11:29 Breaking Out of Boxes & Reclaiming Her Multi-Dimensional Self16:05 Navigating Fame at a Young Age25:33 Acting as a Spiritual Practice33:09 Embodying the Fullness of Who We Are 39:42 "Has My Time Already Passed?" Facing Limiting Beliefs43:49 Self Worth in a Superficial Industry51:11 Where Appearance & Inner Beauty Merge52:59 Burning Out, Letting Go, and Learning to Listen55:40 How to Use Your Triggers to Transform59:25 Unlocking a Holistic, Healthy State of Being1:08:35 What Most People Don't Know About Her1:15:51 Building Friendships & Community that Uplifts Us1:23:07 Giving People the Grace to Change1:24:54 Conclusion___________Alexis Ren is an American model, entrepreneur, actress, and internet celebrity. She is one of the most recognizable influencers in the world, and an advocate for mental health, self-love, and empowerment. She was Maxim's US and Mexico cover girl for August 2017, She was voted Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Rookie of 2018, and has 13.1 million followers on Instagram. Alexis Ren was born on November 23, 1996, in Santa Monica, California. Alexis Ren is the founder of a management company in Japan, Meissa Inc. She's worked with Brands like DVF, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Express, Colourpop, and has starred in videos such as The Chainsmokers- Paris (2017), Love Advent by Love Magazine, Kygo Ft. Chelsea Cutler - Not Ok, Final Fantasy XV: A New Empire, and she was also a contestant on the ABC show Dancing with the Stars season 27, landing in 3rd place.Most recently she has launched a new podcast, Easy A Podcast. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexisren/"Easy A Podcast": https://www.youtube.com/@EasyAPodcastWe Are Warriors Wellness Community: https://wearewarriors.co___________Know ThyselfInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/Website: https://www.knowthyself.oneClips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ4wglCWTJeWQC0exBalgKgListen to all episodes on Audio: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4FSiemtvZrWesGtO2MqTZ4?si=d389c8dee8fa4026Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/know-thyself/id1633725927André DuqumInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreduqum/

It's exhausting trying to monitor yourself to keep into a certain archetype that you think you should be. I really want to know what it is to be fully human. It's been exactly 10 years since the launch pad of my journey. I'm seeing the story and all of the dots connect. That's the beautiful thing of being an actress or being in the public eye. It's like you have these moments of like up and down, up and down. And it's learning how to ride those waves. And now I'm fully ready to like ride a wave.

As I got older, you kind of finding my roots again, essentially. acting started to come back in because it demands so much more from you. It's all psychological and it's also very spiritual. So the better actor I become, the better person I become. What's one thing that you think people would be really surprised at know about you? Hey everyone, welcome back to know thyself. Today we are sitting down with an actress, entrepreneur, model, ballerina, so many different things, multi-dimensional human being. She co-founded that we are Warriors woman community and I spent such a pleasure to get to know her and I'm just excited for this conversation is going to be super playful and insightful and she's an amazing human so Alexis

thanks for being here thanks Andre yeah did you like my intro was it a little bit better than the one you gave me a few days ago oh no we're going straight into that oh gosh so last week let's just go there last week me and you we attended a don't die dinner of Brian Johnson yeah I don't know if everyone is familiar with Brian Johnson, but he's a very fascinating individual. The discussion, honestly, was super, I didn't realize how deep he was on his mission for, like, the future of humanity and AI and all this stuff. So it was very interesting. Yeah, I'm, I didn't know what to expect either. I was also late getting there. And it's like a very intimate dinner. It was more like a debate, I would say. He got us around. He gave us that pudding. It was his nutty pudding. Basically,

he's got like all these meals and he gave us his like oh he showed us the medical room upstairs that was really interesting there was a few devices where i was like can i use that oh that's nice nice laser yeah um but yeah he has a whole hospital on his second floor which is so interesting and then he sat down and basically talked to us about this concept that he has of like don't die how we can all agree on that one statement as and as AI kind of comes into play with everything right now. now, that's the one belief, or one belief we can all get behind and kind of what, like, input into AI, per se, which I thought was really interesting. I still remember when he started the debate, he was like, no, no but, it was only yes and. And I was like, was there

arguments in these circles at one point? I personally love those kind of settings where it's like a mastermind type and are around a specific topic. in life and everybody chimes in, shares their own unique perspective, hopefully walking away with a greater perspective of the whole and super fascinating. But yeah, wild crew. You're like now a podcaster officially. I know. You and Allie started EasyA podcast, helping you get that easy A in life.

Thank you. How is the journey been so far? Like stepping more into, I mean, podcasting, people don't realize how much goes into it. And also it's a very vulnerable thing, sharing these different. intrinsic qualities of your life and aspects that maybe you don't share that much on social media or like previous roles you've you know had so like how is how's podcasting then it feels almost natural just because me and alley had the opportunity to do this with the girls in the community for the last three or four years so i almost got to learn what it was like to be a moderator per se um with you know

a couple hundred girls in a live call and it's gated so i got the opportunity to to, you know, share my personality in different ways, help with different tools. And then through that, I got to be a better speaker because it's just a muscle, essentially. And it made so much sense to bring Alley on because our journey together and our story is very unique. The podcast, it's been almost a two-year process, honestly. It taught me divine timing. I've been meaning to learn that lesson, so I'm not surprised got through it with the podcast. But just waiting until it feels right, going with the flow of what's best,

as opposed to trying to get to this specific timeline and then getting stressed about this made-up timeline that I made to get things done, which is good sometimes. But we were really free-flowing with what the podcast needed. And then, of course, we reached out to you because we were like, you're like the monster of the podcast, please. I think we made a deck or something. We were just like, you have to come on and help us. That's cool.

It was really, really cool. Yeah, Maraki Media, the production company that I run. We really don't like take on new clients, but I'm just stoked to support you guys. I'm excited to see your guys voices flourish. And yeah, you guys have a really unique dynamic. And I really like seeing people innovate in the podcast space. And just like find something that's in alignment with them. And, you know, that is a process of just like patience too.

Because we always want to force things and have it right away. And yeah, it's cool that you guys have waited until the stars align. and then obviously, you know, take an action. And so, yeah, that's cool. And it's also just amazing to, from a selfish perspective, have an excuse to meet these incredible individuals. I was, before we started recording, I had a moment where I was just like, oh my God, Greg Braden sat in this fairy chair.

Oh my God, that's so cool. And it's like, it gives me an excuse to, you know, talk to these incredible minds that have inspired me for so, so long. And then also sharing that wisdom and education. you know, through the perspective of like a feminine voice is really nice, I think, too, because I personally, I love, like, the Joe Rogan podcast, and personally, I love John Contrustle and Joe Rogan's duo mentality, and I just... Just chaos.

Yeah, just controlled chaos in the best way, you know, how they dress up randomly, and I just, anytime there's a new episode of them, I just get so excited. And I, you know, I really felt like that's, you know, me and Allie could kind of be the feminine version of that. And because we geek out on so many different topics. And we personally want to learn. So it's kind of like everyone, you know, the podcast in itself is me and Allie going on this journey with the viewers to, you know, learn all of, you know,

different subjects too, which was also kind of hard because when you guys were like, what genre? I was like, oh, no. Not a box. Not a box. Resist those. But yeah, we naturally kind of lean towards the spiritual health world. and we haven't seen, you know, women kind of take on it from this perspective and kind of like fun and sexy and having a good time with it.

So I think it's definitely a niche that I'm excited to fill. Yeah. It's definitely a journey, though, because I'm sure you know, I mean, I'm sure you know, because you've had so many guests on here and you've had so many different types of characters. It's always new, every single guest you don't know. You can brace yourself and you can pair all you want. but I think you get so I guess sensitive to different types of energy that it's really

actually been playing with my empathetic side because as they're saying something I'm like are you present? Okay they're sweating they need water maybe they need a break like I'm just so present with them which is really nice yeah no it definitely it's a practice and empathy and feeling into your guests and I love the moments where you're surprised by something

you know because you can always come in with preparation and like have an idea for the direction you want to go in the conversation and then And, you know, those vulnerable moments where it's a surprise and both for you and oftentimes, sometimes the guest too, is like, those are the moments that I think are really exciting. And it's a cool cross-section in like what you guys are doing in many different podcasts are like keeping things entertaining and also educational. Educatement is the word that you can use in describe.

Exactly. And keeping it light, because I think especially in like self-help educational type podcasts, it can get very serious. very quickly. And it's just really important to keep the cosmic joke of this all in our forefront of our mind too. So how are you? Just with, because the amount of knowledge that I've consumed specifically on your podcast, I mean, even the four-hour conversation with Greg Braden, like, how are you able to, because I think with me, I have to listen to a piece of wisdom over and over again for it to actually cement to my body. Do you feel like you actually absorb all of that information or do you go back or yeah it's definitely tough to quantify like everything kind

of richroll said this on my podcast and he's another great podcaster and um i resonate everything just kind of turns into like the soup in your brain at the end of an episode and it's such a gift to be able to sit down with people that are experts in their fields from all walks of life and be exposed and gain awareness to so many different fields of um information and wisdom and uh as much as best as i can to keeping the forefront of my awareness, like practice what I preach, being the embodiment of what I'm learning. And that's just like awareness and integration. Our life is constantly bouncing between the two, you know? And so thankfully, like I have various practices that help me support, like support me and my own integration of it all. But like you mentioned, it's such a gift, like having the excuse

to sit down for hours with these people and just expand my knowledge and also have it be a vehicle for my own self-actualization and also impact in the world. And like, I'm the big. podcast horror. So I'm the biggest advocate. I don't know how you do it because I'll, especially with your face always stays so straight in the conversations. And meanwhile, I'm listening in the car being like, I like replay it. Like just I have such a visceral reaction to some of the things that people say. It's really, it's incredible. And also you have an amazing ability to wrap the story all the way back around. Like that was one of the things I noticed with you is you never forget where you guys started and you somehow just have this beautiful little like breadcrumb pathway back to

the overall objective of the conversation and I was taking notes I was like wow this is impressive thank you thank you how do you feel like now because you just got to your 100th episode yeah that's crazy yeah it is crazy it feels like when I got to one-on-one it was like the first episode again you know it's like it's a new it's a just a new level you know like the sets bigger the connections are more I've grown as a person and like what I value and want to bring forth in the conversations change. So, you know, I appreciate you asking all this. And my goal, like, when I try to, like, synthesize things and bring it back to, like, the full picture is that's like how I understand things, you know.

It's like, I got to kind of put the golden thread between this all. And also, obviously, I hope it's valuable for the listeners too. Because it's, there's so much that I want to dive in with so many people. Like, each person, whether or not they're like this big public speaker, or well-known guests on podcast shows or whatever. Each of us have so many dimensions within us. And I'm just so curious how they accumulate together to create who somebody is as a human being.

And I know that for you, like especially stepping into the podcast space and sharing yourself more and coming on this show and going on different podcasts in the past, you're stepping from what people perceive you, perhaps in the past is more one-dimensional with this appearance and being a model at a very young age. We can talk about it.

Yeah. It's like a thing that everyone sees, but no one wants to, like, press the button. I know it's weird. But, yeah. Yeah. But, like, of course, I mean, you started modeling at, what, like 14? Yeah, like 13 years old. That's wild.

I mean, just this, what that does to the psychology of a young girl and, like, all the things. You're like, this is my value? Okay. And you just go for it. But then we as humans also just, like, really love to put people in boxes, like, in our own box of conceptual understanding because it's convenient. And there's so many, and there's so many pretty boxes and larger boxes and boxes with different rooms. And you're just thinking that you're letting yourself free and then it's another box. Yeah, judgmental boxes.

You just like to fit people into our model of the world. But if you're not careful that like the belief that other people have of like a limited perception of you that don't really know you super well, I'm sure at times could like affect how you even think of yourself. And so what's been your journey like stepping out of any mold people that placed you on that you've also accepted for yourself until, like exploring these deeper aspects with your community and podcast. It feels natural. It feels natural. I think I've had such a good friend group supporting that.

I've never doubted my multi-dimensional self. Yeah. He's like, that's a word. Don't worry. It is. He's like a little walking dictionary. He uses so many big words. It's so cool.

But I, yeah, it's something that I've never doubted. Now trying to translate that without feeling. exposed, that's been a little tricky because I think social media now it's all about intention like to grabs people's attention and kind of say the most traumatizing thing in your life and then put that as the front and oh my God, my mother did that whatever. And I'm trying and I think the practice now is how can I gracefully do it and do it through the grace of change as opposed to preaching about it, you know, just letting it show. showcase itself. And I think that's why the lesson that I had with divine timing was super

important because everything has its divine timing even when I show different parts of myself and trying to force that into the different boxes on social media or trying to force that into a conversation that doesn't feel and flow. Never feels good. It always just kind of feels like you're a little hung over after that. So that's been, I think it's not as fast as I would like it to be, to be honest with you, like even going into acting, so slow, you know, I'll film something and then two years later, the SpongeBob thing was actually correct. It was three years later. And then, so that's like, just everything's a lot slower, but at the same time, I appreciate it because social media is so fast-paced that I almost like all of the different avenues that I'm

taking that are taking a little bit longer because I think, especially as females, we have this, there's a clock and it's ticking down that feeling of just oh no our value is you know dissipating whether we're getting older or you know whatever it is and i've really challenged that in my own mind recently and just keep telling myself i have such a long life and there's no rush to get it done and as long as i follow that little inkling of curiosity somewhere and keep my hobbies the things that bring me joy when, you know, maybe other things in my career aren't going as fast as I would like to keep them to the forefront and then realize the privilege that I have for letting, for being able to put them at the forefront, then I stay, you know, really grounded.

But I am excited for this podcast just because, yeah, it's, I think this is the only content on, or type of content on the internet that feels the most humanized, you know, I, I really feel like I see someone fully when I listen to a conversation like this. And I'm always like, shouldn't have judged every time. Yeah, it's easy to hide behind an Instagram post of who you are, but for hours every week in front of a camera and microphone, like who you are is going to be very present. Yeah. So best to not hide who you are and just be who you are. But I'm curious to like rewind a little bit and just go back starting out. How did you even get discovered for modeling at such young age? And What was that like?

For modeling, it actually, it technically started on Tumblr. So, you know, were you a Tumblr? I remember it. I love Tumblr. I still don't want Tumblr. No, it was Tumblr because back in the day, it was really just about creating that, like, vision board on your page. It's very pure. It's still pure to this day.

And just some photos of me went viral, very viral. And then through that, I just got scouted, like, really quickly. So 13, I got scouted. And then 14 moved to Japan, lived in Japan for six months, modeled there. That was really cool because that was over 10 years ago. So, you know, the tourism wasn't, you know, very accommodating to anyone that spoke English. So I had to learn kind of, but I think that was a gift because I was able to speak through energy. My friend, my friend Melissa, who's an amazing photographer, you worked with her recently.

We actually bonded off of energy first as opposed to because she wasn't very good at English. This was like four or five years ago. So we kind of did similar things where I just made my energy super loving and apparent. So even if I didn't understand someone, there was an innate trust that they had with me. So that's how I learned kind of that in Japan. Were you like a like, did you have family or somebody like watching over you in Japan that young? No. Whoa, that's wild.

Yeah. It's really safe there though. Honestly, my mom was like, well. Very trusting. She shrugged, that was the reaction, which was shocking to me. Now looking back, I'm like, 14, mother. My God. But it's really safe there.

Obviously, I had an agency and stuff there, but I had to get around and, you know, learn the lingo, learn the subway, learn how to get the castings. Like, it was all very much so on my own. But that was nice because I was also homeschooled, as you know. But I love it because I wasn't thrown into people that were my age. And I think sometimes when you're only stuck with people, your age and as you grow up there's limited growth that you can get to um but with me it was i was just kind of thrown into i guess i guess adult land very quickly and then through that i felt very like

i could really take care of myself at a very young age very young age i moved out when i was 16 and just yeah just had like a very early adult life which i think is it's incredible i really do think that if we trust kids a little bit more and just let them you know see the world as it is and and let them process things and not hide them or try and keep them in a certain structure, I think it would actually do them a lot of good. I fear social media is doing that, but in a very concentrated, over-the-top way. But I had the privilege of definitely getting to just go for life as early as, you know, 13 or 14.

So that was a gift my mom gave me because she was like, well, I raised you. So, oh, my God, trust you. And I was like, okay, see you later. But yeah, then that gave me kind of, I started working full time and just continued to work. And I think that was really cool because I was able to really provide financial stability from my family. So that was like a really cool little super stoked on that. I was able to help my mom with like helping, you know, repair the car or like getting a new dishwasher or like just helping with those little things. even helping with the electricity bill.

Like that really gave me, you know, because I think when you grow up, you have this certain belief of what money is, especially if you've, you know, depending on your parents. But for me, it gave me that feeling of power and, like, I can help people at such a young age that I actually created a really healthy relationship with money because of that.

So I'm super blessed for that because the belief my parents had on money was not that good. Yeah. So. Yeah, I think that, I mean, that's so common. It's like, same. Yeah, we've all had to work through something. Rewire that.

Yeah. Coming into it, making more money, spending more than you have, and then figuring it out. Yeah. But that's, I mean, so many things in life are like a double-edged sword, you know, where it's awesome that you get to provide for your family and then also challenge to, like, grow up fast. But also, you're still developing as a kid at that age. And I'm just curious what maybe even you think that does to the psychology of a girl who's

predominantly rewarded for her externality. appearance and like have you have you thought of what that uniquely provided for you as a challenge? It boosted my ego a lot because I was so proud to be an adult when I was still a child that I almost kind of I didn't get to have some of the childhood and that now is an adult and having so much empathy for the little girl I would have been like oh you know go play like go be young I just we have such a pride with that like oh I am an adult like I look I'm doing adult things and and now I don't feel that way. Now I'm like, oh, this is expected of me.

Damn it. So I think there was that kind of rewiring reswitch where I really wish I could have given my younger self a little bit more of a childhood. I was lucky because I was homeschooled and so therefore the psychology factor didn't hit me as hard as maybe someone who would have gone to public school and already had kind of that competitive, you know, labeling hierarchy nature. I was really accepting of myself from a very, young age because I was just with my sisters and my mom. And so there was no reason for me to,

you know, fragment certain parts of myself to fit in. It was actually a little bit later when I was like 18 or 19 that I kind of went down that trajectory because that's when, you know, 17, 18, 19 was when, you know, social media really blew up for me. And that, that was when I kind of, I lost all of these beautiful little, you know, pieces that my mom gave me in order to help ground myself and who I was and not take everyone's word for my worth. So it's been a kind of journey back to it, but honestly, like any 19, 20 year old girl, you know, you're going to go like this, no matter what happens in your life. It just slows down and it calms down around 24, 25. Thank God. But yeah, that was a little bit of a whirlwind, a little bit, yeah.

Social media is another very interesting dynamic. We're not meant to have the opinions of, let alone a thousand people, but millions of people at the ready access to our perception? You know, what's crazy too is now Instagram is monitoring, like, which type of comments you see. Like, if you go on a photo and look at comments, you're going to see a different set of comments than I'm going to see based on our, like, choices on social media, which is terrifying. Because if you're, you know, drawn to, you know, liking, let's say, spread hate, you're only

going to see a hate, so that's going to fuel you to want a comment as well. So it's really, it's, my goodness gracious. Yeah, such a gift and such a challenge. You know, like without it, we don't get to do what we get to do and impact you. We get to impact at the same time if we're not mindful. You know, it's just like, just got to be mindful to use it as a force for good. Yeah. And also just make sure that, you know, you have your own thing going on.

Because I think that's what's specifically with social media is you can't just wait and tell these brands, you know. Hopefully someday use you. You got to make your own things and everyone can become like a business. owner in their own right. So that's what I wish for, you know, people that are listening this that are trying to get on social media in any way, whether it's, you know, to be a YouTuber or a TikTok or influencer. It's like make sure there is some sort of like a business game plan that you have, not just like hoping that brands will, you know, throw money at you because it's, it never feels secure. It always feels very tricky and kind of scary because then

you're so afraid to be yourself because you feel like you have to monitor everything in order to be aligned with, you know, certain brands or you have contracts. It's just, yeah, it takes away that the excitement that social media really does for us. That is give us the freedom to, you know, show ourselves in the way we'd like to. I've been seeing that a lot with my friends. I think social is just such a mirror for life in general, and it's a choice of if you want to be just a consumer or if you want to be a creator. Yeah.

Are you a watcher or a player? Are you a watcher or play? That's right me out. I was like, oh, no. Yeah. Do you want to be a player character or an NPC? You know, it's like, and there are things that pull us into the slumber of unconsciousness and just like sleep, walk through life and just be a cog in the economic machine. And thankfully, I think a lot many people are waking up to reclaiming their sovereignty. Yeah, I really want to know what it is to be fully human.

And I think that's what like Greg Braden's, you know, conversation with you was was just this idea of like, we don't even know what it means to be human. and we truly don't. And now we have all of these other things that are, you know, getting us really exciting because it's just, it's convenience, it's quick, it's, you know, information at our fingertips. But we have a world inside of us that we literally haven't even tapped into. Yeah. Okay, so now transitioning from like the psychology of what happens

when millions of people are perceiving you through social media is its own beast to deal with. But then you have this like powerful gift to use, which is influence and the ability to impact millions of people. And so, like, as you started to transition and starting to, you know, wield that, I guess, more wisely, starting your community, eventually doing different things. When did acting come into the picture? And how did, like, have you always had the desire to explore that, that, no, a bit more. No. I always laughed because I still remember I had a friend.

We were in Whole Foods. We were just walking. And he was like, you should try acting. And I was like, fuck no. Because I had such a visceral, like, absolutely not. I think it was because I'm from Los Angeles. So there's just a level of everyone's. Yeah.

And it just didn't feel personal whatsoever to me. I didn't feel attached to it in any way. But then as I got older, naturally diving into self-discovery, spirituality, kind of finding my roots again, essentially. finding, coming back to when my mother taught me and all of these things that, you know, were me and really bringing me back, that's when acting started to come back in because it demands so much more from you than per se modeling or even social media. Because it's all psychological and it's also very spiritual. And I do think that when you enter the acting field, the roles have already been chosen for you spiritually, right? Because if time doesn't exist, it's all happening at once, right? Essentially, it's already all been chosen.

So then your job is to follow what feels aligned so that you can line up with the character at the right time. So then when that audition comes, like I've had some crazy cathartic experiences where I happen to have an audition. And the exact thing that the audition is, I went through the day before, ended up booking the role.

Like, it was all very, very, very, spiritual and also I think we all chase that feeling of forgetting time. At least I do, whether it's conversation or dance or whatever it is. I just, I need to just, yeah, finally forget and to remember. And when I booked my first, it was my second, I was still testing it out for a while. I had, it was 2019, I booked my first smaller movie and it got push back and canceled because of COVID. And then I came back and booked another TV show. And we went straight into it.

And I was still testing the waters with acting and really, like, loving the idea of it. But I hadn't really felt that magic with it yet. And we were rushing on one day of the shoot days. And we had about like five or six scenes, which is unheard of. Usually you do like two. And they were like, we just don't have time. We need to get it done all in one day. I luckily am, I like overprepared, so I already memorized the entire, like, all of it.

So I was just like, okay. But I hadn't really studied this one scene. It was a specific scene. My lover, my girlfriend, the one I loved. She was dealing with a, she's a drug addict, essentially. And she ran into the bathroom in this scene to go and take, like, a bunch of the pills. So basically overdose. And I didn't have time to prepare.

I didn't have time to, you know, do all of the acto things. Not listening to a playlist or writing or whatever. I just kind of went into it and I didn't have any expectation for it. And I was kind of exhausted from the day. So I was like, okay, guys, whatever I have left, it's yours, you know? And I was kind of feeling bad about that too because I was just like, oh, no, I don't know if I'm going to do good at this. And I had the craziest cathartic experience of my life. Essentially, I got out of the way is what I'm assuming what happened.

I got out of the way. And it was almost like I sounds kind of cheesy, but it almost felt like I was crying for and with all the people who had experienced that moment where they're trying to save the person that was overdosing. And I just couldn't stop crying. And I was holding her. And they didn't even call cut.

We just kept rolling because I was just like so in it. And I was shaking. And I just couldn't believe like what the body does, you know, Because it truly, I think that's what's so fascinated about, of course, like, everything that we've learned is like the body doesn't, you know, know the difference between something that you perceive and something you've actually experienced because if you perceive it in a certain way, that's how your body react to it. And my body just intelligently perceived it as that real thing. And I just think that's so fascinating. And so once I was done, I was laughing uncontrollably because I was like, oh my God, this is so cool. Like, this is acting. And I remember my castmate, Anna Lynn McCord, wonderful, wonderful. actress. She was like, you're an actress. And I was like, and so ever since then, you know, you don't always get that. And it's kind of like with podcasting, every episode is different. You don't know because you're kind of, you're having a dance with another person. So you have to also be really present as to what they're bringing. You can't make up your mind too much when you

go into certain scenes. You really have to be fluid with what's present. You have to be honest with what's present because that's how the magic will come up. You know, I've had some of the best moments I've had on camera were not even in the script and it just felt right to do and so I did it. So it really is following intuition and I think that's been the most exhilarating part of this is because now I have this amazing excuse to get super, you know, strong, have a super strong relationship with my intuition. But it's also, you know, I will say acting is, it's, you can't take things personally. You know, I've done hundreds of thousands of auditions and you kind of have to trust that there's, you know, a role for you and that you just keep going. And usually I'm pretty good about that.

But sometimes it'll get to me and I'm just like, oh no. But I use that. And I think that's what's so fun is no matter what I'm feeling, I just go into my ear like, use it. Whatever it is, use it. And I think I've applied that to my life as well. Instead of trying to make sure I am what I want to be in that moment, I feel into what's actually going on. And I utilize that energy as like the force instead of trying to essentially box myself up and to know I need you to be happy and present and I need you to be the best version right now. You're filming a podcast, get your shit together. You're driving on the freeway being like, oh, 15 minutes.

Like, great, no worries. And then just transfer all of that into the present moment as opposed to, you know, essentially lying yourself, which that does work sometimes. Fake it till you make it is a real thing. But I've at least right now have been practicing, being honest with the energy that I'm coming from and utilizing it, almost alchemizing it in a way, as opposed to like pretending it's not there. But I could go on and on about the lessons in acting.

It's actually insane, and it mirrors life. I feel like there's so many parallels between acting and so many of the creative arts in life in general. 100%. Like we're all in our life to some degree playing a character, like whatever identity or role we're currently playing. Oh, it goes so deep. It goes so deep, you know. And so like that's just an external manifestation of picking a role, believing you're that person in that moment. and what have you found?

How is that translated if it has at all? I'm curious to like the role or character you play as a Lexus in life. It's given me so much room to breathe. Fluidity? Yeah, now I'm not, even with fashion. Like I don't necessarily hold myself to a certain idea anymore. I just whatever feels good in the moment, I throw it on. Whatever feels good to say in the moment, I throw it on.

And I spent, it's exhausting trying to monitor yourself to keep into a certain archetype that you think you should be. It's absolutely exhausting. It showed me that the personality is not something that's so, you know, fixed. Fixed. And you can really just play and have fun. And I think that's, I'm sure you understand, we get so much information, so much knowledge, so much wisdom. And you're like, oh, my God. And then all it tells you to do is to really just sink into, you know, this life energy that is you and have fun and play again.

Like it goes back to that simpleness. And that's so fun because now, I know what to do now. Knowledge is so fun to consume, but I know what to do. And it's to honor that child's self and keep playing with her as long as possible and never let her, you know, be dismissed in my life. And from that, that's the divine path, you know. It's like your child self will, she's the one that's going to take you there, you guys,

not your adult self. Your adult self will keep you safe and do the taxes and whatever. But the child self is, you know, that's where, that's the leader in a way. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so much of the conversations I have on this podcast help us. know ourselves, but like the stage's next step is to, is that courage to be yourself. And like, for whatever reason, the universe has spit out of you. Alexis, and Andre, a Chelsea,

whoever's listening to this. Literally. By playing that role, like, I think we have a lot of negative connotation around the ego, like as something we need to transcend or get rid of or fight. And I think there can be this integration and embodiment, um, uh, an embracing of it. that allows you to fully play the role of the character that you're here to play in this life. But our relationship with that identity is one of the most important in our lives, right? Because we can very quickly become glued to it. We can become it in a way where we forget the part of us, the essence of who we are that transcends it. But, you know, life in some way is gaining more data by the uniqueness of your existence and how it shows up.

And trusting that. Yeah. And some of my closest friends, people that I love and love and hold dearly the most, are some of my artist's friends because of how authentic they are to their real-time experience. And that path of authenticity is like directly the same synonymous with spirituality to me because you're not bypassing your experience. You're allowing who you are and what wants to come through you to come through you and to be present. And, you know, I think that so many of this creative arts are helping you tap deeper into your authenticity. Yeah, it reminds me of, did you watch Inside Out too? No, I didn't. We'll go see it. Okay. I haven't seen the first one.

So I should. Yeah. Oh, we'll go see it. Oh, we'll do a marathon. It's so exciting. So basically in the second one, I won't ruin too much. But anxiety kind of takes control, essentially overjoy. Are each of the characters like different emotions?

There are different emotions. Okay. Anxiety takes control and you're like, oh, no. But anxiety actually does a pretty good jump for a minute there. You'd be surprised. You know, it serves, she serves a role. And I always, especially anxiety. I've always demonized her in my own brain because I'm like, what do you do?

But she's literally there being like, okay, but what if this happens? What if this happens? And sometimes you need that energy to it. So I think, yeah, it's like it's the honoring of all of it. And I think when you try to get rid of the darkness, it only makes that shadow bigger. And you can really feel that in people when they haven't honored and integrated the darkness because they're just like so happy all the time. It feels very like they're trying to keep something in.

And nowadays, like, I love similar probably to you. Like, that grittiness that someone has when they've just faced their demons and become friends with them and love them and have a good fucking time with them. Like, that's a beautiful energy to be around. I am in love with that type of an energy because not only are they not afraid of their darkness, they love it. And that's cool because that's the integration of all of it. I feel like it's, we should be scared of the people that say they have no shadow versus the individuals that acknowledge the darkness that's in them. You know, it's, it's by acknowledging the temptation we have to the shadow material within us and acknowledging that temptation, I find I can really trust people. When you don't, you when you don't know what someone, I think Ali said this to me the other day.

It's like when she doesn't know someone's like inner little monster is, then she can't fully trust them. Yeah. You know it? The little monster, she said, is like her favorite parts of people. That's why she's such a good poet. It's true. It's true. And it's so fun to also be, like, perceived by a poet and by a writer because she's also showed me that all of these little quirks and parts of me are actually the best part of me.

And so she's given me permission to really, like, go for it. And it's so fun, too, when she gives me, like, full reigns to just be the middle child that I am. you have siblings I have one older sister yeah we're joking you said you're the middle child and I said I'm the golden child so together we're gonna have a good podcast

that's funny every different friend I have in my life definitely brings out different aspects I feel like of each other and yeah I love our the riskality the messing around

I know when I walked into Brian Johnson's dinner said something that probably shouldn't have said the only just pats me on the And I was like, oh, oh, no. And then Ryan, he was telling us to introduce our friends. And there was a really long pause. And there's no music.

It was just so silence can be so loud sometimes. My goodness. And I was like, this is Andre. And I was like, how do you say your last name? He's great. He owns a podcast. I'm like shaking. Just trying to fill the space of silence.

It's sweet. Yeah. And you were like, that was so nice. It was very kind. It takes courage to go first. I'm also the same. I'll just throw myself in and see what happens. For the sake of the silence, my God.

Well, are you aware of what's like your inner monster now? What's like the dark side that's driving you? Ooh. Inner monster, I don't. Maybe it's not the best label, but you know. I know what you mean by that. I'm just trying to be really almost of myself. I think the Little Monsters would be a collection of little beliefs that I have that I'm working on.

And I think a lot of people who gain success at a really young age probably deal with is like, as my time already passed and I didn't even know, you know? Because when you're so young and you have so much attention on you, essentially young age, you don't know it's the time. whereas when you're older, you're here. It's like, oh, I'm here. Like, you know, we all have that moment. We're like, oh, this is me. I had that, you know, way later. And so there's, like, those little fears that are popping up.

But trusting that divinity has been the thing that's kept me going, you know, of like, I've only just started. And I think that's a little scary for, I guess, females, you know. I'm 27 now, and it's been such an incredible experience. And it's been exactly 10 years since. I would think was like the launch pad of my journey. You know, my mom passing away and social media coming into play and all this crazy stuff. And it really feels like the end of a chapter.

And so I've also been feeling really, there's also nostalgia and Inside Out too. And I'm literally her come out with TV being like, do you remember when? And Joy's like, not now. We still, we don't need you for another 10 years. And a friend's wedding shoves her in the door. Wow. And that's truly how I feel is like I'm almost. I'm seeing the story and all of the dots connect and knowing that I'm starting this new chapter starting now because it really feels like that 10 years was like consolidated into one specific era of my life.

And now I'm going into this new one. And it feels a little scary but also really exciting. And so just trusting that and not letting that, not letting anxiety take the wheel too much and just enjoying the process. because I don't want to miss that moment again. I don't want to, you know, and obviously moments happen all the time, but I don't want to miss the joy of knowing that I'm in a moment because I think that's the beautiful thing of, you know, being an actress or being in the public eye, it's like you have these moments of like up and down, up and down.

And it's really, it's similar to surfing. It's learning how to ride those waves. But I was in such a fight or flight mode when I was younger that I didn't even know I was riding a wave. I didn't know what I was doing. I was just trying to stay alive, essentially, from a fighter flight, you know, perspective. And now I'm fully ready to, like, ride a wave. And I know what it is. And I'm just so much gratitude.

Like, even for this podcast, it's a new wave. And acting, it's a new wave. And just having the awareness that these waves are coming, it feels so exciting. Because then, you know, I can really revel in it and have so much fun in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you said a lot of really profound things in there. Like one, these little dark, if you want to call them that, little monsters inside of us, the shadow material, like, are actually often just a set of beliefs that we have.

Yeah. And that need more embracing, more loving, like all of these emotions, all the characters you could say, I haven't seen Inside Out. But I'm sure, like, if you invited all of them, they all get a seat at the dinner table, you know? I would be so curious to see your inside out, like, room controls what? I would be, too. Yeah. But, you know, I think that insight, that anxiety or like things that so many of us struggle with, like unworthiness, giving, just making space for those parts of ourselves just to be there

and to accept it and to, you know, first even just allow it to be there, it starts to diffuse the power it has over us and how we decide. Like you can still fear the unworthiness, anxiety, and still act anyways and choose the direction you want to go into, which is, I think, really, really beautiful. And so, yeah, I mean, how is, how is, like, the journey with self-worth and worthiness in the field and industries that you're in? I see that as a recurring thing where, you know, there's the superficiality of the understanding of somebody's appearance, right?

And somebody's beautiful. You're a very beautiful human being, and people see this. So are you on. Thanks. I appreciate it, babe. You see it online, and people just see the image of you. Then get to see the depth of you, right? Now, a long-form podcast is an amazing opportunity for people to get to know you deeper in your core, which is amazing.

But again, it's like if you go into the belief of what other people think you are and what they just see you as, as opposed to who you actually are in your core, then you're limiting yourself. You're not realizing the wave of life that you're riding, so to speak, you know. And so how is your journey with self-being for all the people that are going through that right now, I guess. I don't put my I have other things to put myself worth into nowadays so that really helps the community it's really been a pillar for me because I know no matter what opinion someone has of me I've made a huge difference in these girls lives a huge difference I've known a girl from 17 up until 21 years old which is crazy you know years for a female specifically And to know that they are now this light bulb that is just shining in the world and then making all of that, all of the, you know, wonderful beliefs that, you know, we can pass down and be like, no, do you want to believe this?

Or what about this belief and kind of showing them different perspectives that they can hold on to and then telling them that, you know, who they are is actually very fluid and they can truly be whoever they want to be. And holding their hand for those years, I know the impact that I've made. And so that gives me a sense of self and security that nothing else in my life has. So that takes a lot of the weight off as far as like impact because I think that's my main hope is that I, you know, bring impact or entertainment, impact or entertainment. I think with social media, I love it now because not that I've changed anything that I've done on social media, but I, I now look at it from the perspective of 12-year-old Alexis who loves to play dress-up and would create, she was homeschooled, didn't go anywhere. She would create outfits on her bed every day to like wear and style and she would do her hair. She would have her little sister take photos of her.

Like this comes from a very pure place in my heart and I didn't see that because I was believing everyone else's opinions of like, oh, this is all she cares about, this is whatever. And I think that was, that took the majority of the weight off of it because now I do it in honor of that girl, not necessarily because that's where I think my value is. And that's so cool because then I can revel in the creativity of it, you know, photo shoots and brands and fashion. Like it really is something I've always deeply enjoyed. I've always felt guilty for enjoying it because I feel like it clashes with all of these other beliefs that I've had. so I fought with myself for a really long time until I understood why I loved it. And so I think, you know, anyone listening to this may be feeling guilty about loving certain things. Like, try to go backwards in time to see when it sparked your curiosity.

And you'll kind of see that it comes from a very pure place. And you don't necessarily need to change anything that you're doing. You just need to understand your why. So it comes from that place truly. And the intention is clear. And then you won't feel as unsturdy. and you'll be able to deal with being in the public eye without it really affecting you on that level. And then also, I've really stepped away from sharing my personal life on social media.

I think that helped a lot. There's a difference between sharing beautiful things and sharing, you know, personal things. I think it's gotten, it makes me a little nervous sometimes to see what people will share to get, you know, views. It scares me for their, you know, mental health and for kind of the, state of the world because they will sacrifice the most personal details of their lives to get something out of social media. And for me, I've completely backed off of that. And it feels really good because I think there's a very fine line between, you know, sharing who you are and exposing who you are. And I think that's been actually what the podcast has taught me a lot because I don't

want people to feel as though they don't know me, but I also don't want anyone in business that I don't deem, you know, they're worthy of knowing. So finding that in between within fame has been really cool. I've actually talked to a couple of my guests because, you know, they're public speakers and I'm sure you know, like kind of setting that boundary because it's true. Like when someone tells you a really personal story and how they got to this conclusion, you know, you feel it in your heart and you're like, thank you so much for sharing that because it touched me on a deeper level and now the lesson impacts me more. So I want to do those things, but I also don't want to feel as though I have a vulnerability hangover every time I want to share something. And so I think that's what I definitely

wish for people right now is to kind of set that boundary with themselves so that they don't cross it because it feels really not good to cross it because when you don't know what you're looking for and you hit that vulnerability boundary it's just like oh you know and I have of course there's things on the internet where I'm like why but those whys taught me my boundaries and so yeah I just choosing that privacy and the sacredness of my life over views or clicks has also given me a sense of self-worth because I'm like you truly don't know me. If I was vlogging and sharing everything about my life, I'd be like, well, maybe you know me. That, that, you know, it opens up to so many opinions. Also, you at 16, 19, 21, you don't even know you. So it's like whatever people are saying online,

like you're still in the process of discovery. And that's why I'm so nervous for this generation growing up. I mean, I know, Gen Z and what's the next one after Gen Z? I don't know, but like, Even just like the 13, 14-year-old girls that I'm, you know, I have friends who have daughters, and I'm just like, oh, no. Well, one thing that's really, is going to be continued to be really supportive for them is people who they admire, who they look up to, who are examples of beauty, beauty and intelligence, sharing what they value and giving them a real role model to look up to that has the, you know, externality or the success they might find attractive on the outside,

but then also the inner qualities and things for people to, not just identify themselves as, you know, we tend to do in the West with guys being valued more so for their success and women. What do you mean you don't have an empire? My goodness. You should get one right now. Five years late. So, yeah, I'm just curious what, like, how your perception of beauty has expanded.

I mean, do you ever just meet those people that just, specifically, I'm speaking about, like, the motherly feminine, like, beautiful energy where you just, they, they, touch you and your head vibrates and you're like, whoa. That's for me the beauty energetically that I'm striving for, for me personally, because one, you know, when you love an energy so much, it's usually because it's supposed to be a part of you and it's something that maybe you're just, you know, bringing into your life right now. And that's also something that's really cool because whenever you fall in love with something or

even you get envious of something, it's showing what you care and what you love about. So it's like a pathway essentially that you can follow. So I think I'm focusing more, when I think of beauty, I'm focusing more on the energetic perspective of that because this will only get you so far. And a lot of my friends who are models, I had this one particular friend and she was like, you know, it opens a lot of doors, but usually it's just to Cliff Edge's. And I'm like, you know, it's true. Because it'll get you in the door, but at what cost and also, you know, there's a level of, there's not the respect that you would want there. So it's an amazing little tool. I consider it the cherry on the top of the ice cream, but there's so much more to it.

And focusing on that energetic beauty is truly, it will make your physical appearance more beautiful because it's how we regulate our emotions. Like our energetic is everything. It's literally everything. It's how we regulate our minerals and our bodies, you know. When I finally started to focus on enjoying myself and enjoying my time with myself, everything started to fall into place. Like all the things I was trying so hard to fix or to morphor to box in, it just fell into place naturally.

Was like your connection with Allie, probably your mom, also some other individuals that like started to pivot your search from like the world externally to like your internal reality? She was like, do you want to look at this yet? Ali? I was like, no. And then I'd just leave for another couple months.

For those that don't know, What is that? Allie Michelle. We've had her on the podcast in the first 10 episodes. So go check that out. Yeah. Awesome.

She's incredible. Soul sister. Literally. Got her tatted up on your forearm. She's like probably dying watching this right now. But yeah, no. She, you know,

your body, and this is like why I talk about health so much because your body is going to be the one to stop you if you don't stop. And so I would just get really sick. And I would come and kind of collapse into Allie's arms after traveling and kind of, being with people who didn't have a true connection with me or didn't really care about my well-being

in that way. And so I was so scared of being human around the people I was with back then. And Allie, you know, I'd come crash in her apartment and she'd be like, you want to talk about it? And I'd be like, nope. And I'd just cry. She'd stitch me back up energetically. And I'd head out. And I did that for about two years before. We got really sick and then she was like, we need to, we need to actually, you're, you're, she said something really intense. She was like, you're going down the same mother, the same path is your mother. And I was like, and then I was like, okay, done.

Like, I'm not doing that. I'm not, you know, repeating a pattern. And so really focused on my well-being and had to kind of choose that over some opportunities that I felt like I was having so much fomo, you know, my friend, my friend group at that time were just like, bye, see, they didn't, you know, they didn't. they didn't care. And so I had to really kind of sit with myself in those times and then really work on my health because I realized how much I was damaging it from just either my mental state that was happening or just the fact that I so was trying not to be human in any capacity. Like

never wanted to be bloated, never wanted to ever, you know, I was always on the camera at that age. So it's just like very your body's just going to like scream at you at some point. So that's what happened. But then, you know, that's what gave me such a deep understanding for like the connection, truly, like having that life experience. I love it. I don't know if this ever happens to you. It probably does where you're like talking about something you learned from a past life experience. And someone's like, have you read the book so and so? And I'm like, no, I came up with that all of my own, but I'm so happy there's a book written about it. That's great. Yeah. Yeah, the knowledge and wisdom earned by experience just holds so much more weight than the books. I know. That's

what I'm trying to do right now is like have three really good books, read those over and over again. because it usually has all the reminders I need and then utilize anything in my life right now that's going on as some sort of like a pathway for a lesson. Yeah, there's an opportunity to like practice it. Yeah, here's something that I've been doing recently and people should start doing this actual practical tip right here. The second you're triggered in any conversation,

you don't have to close your eyes, but you have to just immediately go into your heart and you imagine where that stem from as a child, like why, you know, what I'm at. Like for instance, I'll give an example. On my car, it has a hole in the tire, and this is the second time that it's happened. And it's so annoying, because I'm like, what's wrong with my driveway? Why is there always?

How do I keep getting a flat tire? And I was with a friend, and he was basically just like, oh, no, not again. We have to, like, go do it. And I immediately braced myself for really, for it to really affect him negatively, like, really negatively. And I got super triggered because I was like, oh no, this is going to like ruin our day. And just I was bracing for a really stressful reaction to having, you know, not a flat tire, but a tire with a hole in it. And completely changed my mood, shifted me in the car. And then I immediately went to myself and asked the question, what, what did my child self

experience in order to react this heavy to something that I don't think is that stressful? The car can still drive. It's fine. Why am I? having such a visual reaction. And I realized it's because I lived in a household where any small stressor would like throw my family into like a spiral. We just over, my family had, there was just so much build up of stress in the family that one thing went wrong. It exploded. And so now anytime that something minor happens, I brace myself for impact because I had such a chaotic, stressful, reactive family when I was younger. And I never put the two to two together until I asked myself, like where is this coming from the child's self and then I just simply was like held my it works

you can roll your eyes it works held my um shoulders rub them and I was like it's okay it's not your fault that you know you're in a really stressful environment it's not a reflection of this environment you can let it go you're safe you're fine literally completely erased the the the fuse the trigger fuse so that was really cool so I've started to do that but you have to do it in the exact moment you get triggered, which it's not fun to do that because you think it's something wrong with the conversation instead of you. That's incredible. And I'm also picturing you holding yourself as you're like, it's fine. It's fine. We'll just fill it up with air. You're fine. But it's true. Like catching those triggers in the exact moment, using it as almost like a Christmas light, you know, trail and finding

the root and then holding that version of yourself has been the most. proactive healing I've done recently. There's a lot of different ways to do it. But catching it when it happens is the hardest part because you have a lot of resistance to it. Yeah. Those triggers really do teach us so much about where we're at a baseline level, just not okay with what is.

And I feel that there's actually nothing inherently stressful. And that might be a big concept for people to digest because there's a lot of examples where things appear stressful in our life. But in actuality, there's just like the physics of whatever's happening. And you could say it detaches you from the human experience or whatever, but like just looking at it objectively Things are happening they're happening exactly the way they are and There is so much conditioning around our reactivity to life like it's so it's so normalized to just be reacting to whatever stimulus comes in negatively or positively, you know and I think that just kind of sets us up for

a lot of accumulation of stress and not being able to like you said give your yourself the space to respond to what's actually happening and to not it's not that serious you know like I just think of us as these like little ants stressing over like taxes in this moment where we zoom out and we're like the spinning mudball and the endless galaxy you know I know but we have like thousands of these little breadcrumbs of traumatic events and what's super I said this earlier but your body can't decipher If you interpreted an event as traumatic, your body will respond to it as traumatic. It doesn't matter if it was quote unquote traumatic.

You know, other people were like, oh, yes, that's traumatic. I agree. That's traumatic. It doesn't matter if people agree if that was or wasn't. If your cells believe that was a traumatic event and you perceived it as one, it is. And so you also, not only do you have the quote unquote traumatic events of your life that anyone will be like, okay, yeah, that's a traumatic event. You also have just moments where you perceived it as traumatic. and that's embedded into yourselves as well.

Then you're like, my God, there's thousands of them, my God. Because we perceive so much as, you know, fight or flight, traumatic, whatever.

But that's, but that's what's so cool about the triggers because those are the little, those are your pathways and understanding where they are and how to, you know, release them essentially.

So I look at them as, yeah, pathways instead of, I try to, but sometimes, you know. Yeah, do it. We got to just do it.

It's still human. Yeah. Gavramonte says that trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens within you. Yeah. Because two children, and I've seen this, you know, can experience what people would say is maybe a traumatic experience, but they perceive it completely differently. And that puts them on two completely different life paths. You know, two twins could have completely different, you know, and do have completely different inner experiences of life because of how they responded to some sort of stimulus happening earlier on. And I think that just invites so much compassion to, like, all of the, like,

the reaction that we see on a large scale, but like also on an individual level with the people in our lives and our friends, that there is this conditioning that they are inhabiting the victim mindset perspective for whatever reason of their life. And to like, just to like look at people as phenomena a little bit more and to just create some space from judging

what somebody's going through because that's real for them at the same time. So. No, it's very real. Yeah. It's very real for people. I had a lot of empathy for myself when I realized that, oh, there's probably so many events that I invalidated

because my adult brain is like, that wasn't traumatic. You're fine, even though my body had such a visual reaction to it. And it's like, instead of honoring that, I just invalidated it. And that's so sad, you know. And just literally honoring every single one of those moments without judgment is how you heal, truly how you heal from a physical perspective. And I think that's one of my main reasons for doing it is like

even little things like, oh, I'm tired of having shoulder tension. Okay, where is that coming from? Because our bodies are the most intelligent machines on this planet. Like all of our technology is just trying to replicate what our body is. And so trusting that and starting to kind of invite it to do what it's intelligently made to do and stop blocking it with our beliefs or our little triggers is how we open ourselves up back to that life energy that we know is there but we just haven't felt for so long you know um it's wonderful doctor dr mccall who we had on the podcast um hopefully that episode would come out soon um he was talking about how we actually don't know what like living in true you know health looks like all that specifically america and you know our western culture we live in

is just uh relief from symptoms is actually what we think think is happiness, but it's not. And so our whole, you know, all of America, we're kind of just thinking that happiness is this relief from symptoms. And also when we think of energy as well, we think coffee, adderall, we think up, we think, you know. But actually, real life energy is actually calm and peaceful.

And I thought that was really profound because my whole, my whole belief system on energy was like, uppers, you know, essentially. And realizing that true life energy is really calm. And true happiness is not, you know, the relief from suffering, but it's this whole other concept that a lot of people haven't even touched upon. Like, that's huge. And so for me, now that's the journey is like understanding what it means to live in true health

as opposed to relief from suffering. Incredible. It's really important. Anyone who's done like a three, five day water fast, there's this like new energy that comes online. My God. where it's like you're so here, you're so present, you have so much energy, and it's so different from like the caffeinated kind of adrenal stress that, you know, like, it comes from that. I'm so energized.

Yeah. No, it's so true. It's so true. Definitely. I try as my best to, like, source that energy from like ones that don't have a bitter aftertaste, you know, or like ones that there's that clear source. source of vitality and health, and that when energy is coming from that, there's no downside. There's no crash.

There's no crash. Yeah. I think that's the barometer that you can use is like, was there a crash from that? Yeah, the sustainability of it. Because it should be sustainable. I think that's what, you know, also Dr. Mick talks about how, you know, 10 years from now, ideally doctors will be just like the equivalent to like school teachers because, you know, when we don't have, it's more like a symptom-treating system as opposed to an actual health care system.

When we truly understand our bodies and we know how to listen to that intuitive voice that comes from us and only we hear it, then, you know, we'll be living in a full health state as opposed to leaning on, you know, these pills or it's really, yeah, it's really bad right now. Yeah, it's a scary system. You ever watch for those commercials? I'm sure you have. one where it promises you a possible symptom relief with the possible side effects of death and suicide. I'm laughing, but it's crazy. I can't believe that that's just there.

I can't believe it. The fact that it's there, and we're one of the few countries that actually allow for billions of dollars of advertisement to be spent in a pharmaceutical industry, which is crazy. It's a whole other podcast, but it is absurd. Do you have a podcast on that? I'd love to listen to it. There is definitely, yeah, there's been a few.

exploring the absurdity of it. Bruce Lipton, Darren O'Lean. It's, we're living in insane times. Yeah. Insane people look insane in those times. Yeah. We're listening to your body. And yeah, the allopathic system right now without going too into the nitty gritty right now is like you have a symptom, you have an experience where, which is really fundamentally just a signal in your body of it's trying to tell you something. And then. Our late engine. Yeah. And then we have this multi-billion dollar industry that profits off that car light engine when it's a simple fix in a lifestyle treatment you know um i know it's so sad and then watching you know some of my close friends go on even antidepressants and them not being able to come off of it because it will you know affect their

mental health to the point where it's dangerous like that is that scares me a lot um and Also, too, it stops you from feeling anything. It's like you're not sad. Yeah, you start feeling less of both joy and suffering. Yeah. It just numbs you a little bit. Yeah. It just numbs you.

Yeah. And there's a place for Western medicine, a thousand percent. Like, hey, look, if you're in a car crash and you need like whatever, whatever. Like that is. A key injury. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's incredible, but not for, you know, the upkeep and the chronic, you know.

So that, you know, I've been kind of slowly wanting to be a guide for my friends. because I do feel as though the path that my mom left for me because she's health nutritionist, alternative health nutritionist, it's super deep in my heart and it's like such a big. Like that's how I love people. I'll be like, what's going on? Okay, you feel this way? Okay, you're going to do this, this, this,

and I'll just give them like a little list of things they need to do for health. You know, you can't make a horse drink its honor. That's another thing, but you just give them all the opportunity in the world to kind of stop those patterns. What's one thing that you think people would be really surprised and know about you? My initial thoughts are so intruding. I love that you said that to me that one of your love languages is sharing your intrusive thoughts. Yeah, that's what I'm trying not to do right now.

Because I immediately want to be like, I have a personality. See, it fucking came out. I think, I'm trying to think from like a mindset perspective. I have a very masculine mindset. I have to constantly balance it out with very feminine things because otherwise I'll get really kind of scooped into like building an empire. You've only just seen it. It's only just like that whole mentality of I get sometimes swooped up into that.

But so yeah, I would say I'm a lot more masculine. and based energetically than feminine, which I think that may be surprised people because when they see me, it's like, or they see me on the line, it's like this, you know, a little ballerina, blonde girl. And I totally am that, but I am that because I have to balance this other side of me. And it's probably because I had to fulfill both parent roles growing up. I could mother myself easier, father myself. My God, I took a minute. I was like, what does it mean to father someone?

I love how your father is apparently Indian. What does it mean to an interfather? Accents come out when I'm nervous. Oh no. Now you guys know. I have so many access. You are going to, it's going to come out now more because of me. Because of you.

That's true. Yeah. That's probably one thing that people maybe don't, I don't know. I think the depth of the conversations I usually have, maybe just don't bring it out as much. But yeah, I'm a jokester. No, you are. I think that was, I threw like, when we first met, I had, I threw a few jabs at you. And at first you were like, am I allowed to jab her back?

And then Allie was like, be my guest. And then ever since then, it's like all we do is just see who can outsmart the other one and like, good old banter. Lovely little abusive. Yeah, lovingly. Lovingly jab at each other. No, but it's true. Like I, I, the more I love someone.

the more I show that little monster. And I think it goes for a lot of people. But yeah, I, you know, middle child, I got, I can go at it. I think we also both subtly enjoy the, how Allie gets a little uncomfortable around it. Oh, I love that. I revel in that. My personality is because of seeing her. And it's like, I know what I'm doing too.

This is like when I say we're sisters, I mean it, because I will watch her get so triggered, and I will keep going, knowing that she wants to crawl into a hole. But I just, there's, and I think that's where that little boy masculine energy comes in is I just like the reaction. I just want to press the button. I just want to see what will happen. And sometimes it goes too much. But a lot of the times, it's a great story. And I think that's what I'm aiming for nowadays is, you probably understand this. It's like you get to the depths of all knowledge and now you're like, well, I just now I want to remember my life.

I just want to have really, I just want to look back and laugh as hard as I can and just have the funniest moments with my friends. And maybe there's an incredible lesson that comes from it or maybe it's just a bubble. And that's fine. And it's just as fun. So like letting it be both. the paradox of life is truly like the the wrestling of it all really is the both um but yeah god is it is an ultimate paradox life is the ultimate paradox i mean we're literally infinite and temporary at the same time like it's truly this like we're just being pulled apart you know having to

juggle that and so it comes out in different ways for different people um for me it's just i need to like touch upon the absurdity of things immediately So that people, maybe it's because, you know, people have such an idea of who this type of an avatar usually is. So I like to like say something so vicious and like intense and out of pocket. So they just any belief that they had of me just gets thrown out the window so that we can start over. I also think there's often this like hierarchy of what people think is profound like by saying certain wise things like you are more valuable in a given conversation or whatever. but no, you like super resonate with this too. I highly just as value play, you know,

and the non-seriousness of it. No, you need it. And the fact that it was like, me, you, Ali, and then an astrophysicist and like a scientist

and I was like, I know my role here. And it's not going to be talking about the solutions for the world. This could be the fool. I can just keep the conversation going. And I can bring some levity to the situation because these are heavy topics.

And, you know, I can throw different thoughts I have about it, but I'm not going to try and like I know my role like I know I know who I am I know my role and I think that's also what bread's a lot of anxiety when you try and like be whatever that person in front of you wants you to be and you're just like but now I'm going to say something I regret I already know like I just and I get it but there's been many periods of my life where I've gone super existential and like very my

opulent you know yeah it's part of the journey you get lost in it a little bit and then you realize you just got to I mean that's why community is so so powerful and just having people to keep the levity of it all you know because it's just so easy to get overly serious with everything that's happening in the world and our desire to seek and know everything and got to chill out sometimes I know but it is so cool I mean we are talk about being at a great time right now it is just every day new things are happening and it's truly incredible to watch it all come together and And yeah, once again, I do believe that the greater the shadow, the brighter the light is also. So as much as we're seeing light of darkness, I believe there's also that shift happening.

And we need it. We do. We really need that levity right now because a lot of it is absurd. Like a lot of it I don't even like to talk about because it's just so absurd to me that it feels like even touching upon it. We'll name it in a way, whether it's politics or whatever anything. It just feels like a little... Super divisive. Yeah, little Hunger Games Capital-ish.

So it's just, you need that. And that's truly what the law of traction is. It's not trying to change the thing, but just literally just change your focus completely. So I try to be that in the world a little bit more than trying to preach how I think we should fix things. Because a lot of the things are just broken

and we need to just completely transfer our energy into something completely new in order to rebuild. Yeah, we live in such a disconnected like super connected society on one hand, obviously with social media and technology, but also like so disconnected from ourselves and from like nourishing real communal connections

where we have evolved to be in this kind of tribe, you know, culture, and now we're just so disconnected from that. So I'm just curious, any thoughts you want to share in like the power of community because I know we are warriors is an incredible thing that you and Ali have been running and helping be a guide and steward

for those interesting topics to come about, just like the importance of that. Yeah, I mean, I feel like communities ideally is the direction I would like us to go as a society, whether it's like online communities or physical communities. I think we just, we need that more than ever. And I kind of look at it as in like brands as well. You know, it's just like I don't necessarily believe that a brand should be for everyone because then why is there so many brick and brands? Like it's you really just need to find your tribe and like create something from that. So. And it's just it's amazing to say. see all of specifically my girls be led by the right questions so that they form their own answers. And that's kind of what I think community does at its highest is we don't impose any belief or ideology on them. We just simply get really good questions that we wish we would have answered when we were younger and we bring them to it. And then they come up with their

own conclusions. So I think that's been really cool. And Ali always says she's like, I'm doing this to just get better and more honest questions, not necessarily answers. And that's kind of like the trick of it. So I think definitely finding that tribe is huge, but I will say you have to understand your own fluidity in order to find your own community. It took me a really long time to find the group of friends that I have. I'm super honored. I literally have an entourage, my favorite show. I have like a real life entourage now and it took me a long time to find these people and find essentially family, but it was worth the weight and it took a lot of actually self-work to get to the point where, you know, I finally attracted them. And it's so fun because all of the people

that I would consider in my community, they all bring out different parts of me as well. And that's what's so beautiful about friendship because it helps you strengthen different parts of yourself. Like with me and you, it's like we're strengthening that little like child of just like going off at each it's like fun to play with that as like a character and for instance like me and alley we always trade off different you know roles we play for each other sometimes i'm mom sometimes she's mom but like we're able to be that for each other and then to see like all the girls in our community go off and like do that for other people it's it's just what we need in the world and that's true like if you truly impact one person they're going to truly impact ex amount of people like the impact is going to go so much farther than you

think because i think right now i'm sure you understand this and i'm sure this podcast is impacted so many people, but it's sometimes hard to truly impact people on social media. Whereas in either an online community or real life community, you're there with them every week kind of checking in or however you like to structure it. It's all made up. And that holds you really accountable for really seeing impact in your own life and theirs because it's, you know, you have to. You have to show up. Because me and Ali, we create these workshops basically off of what we've learned recently, whether it's about archetypes or communication or manifestation or we do all of it, really essentially whatever is kind of coming to us that week. But that's sometimes triggering

because I have to be honest with where I am each week to create a workshop that is up to level with them, I would say. Because I could always, you know, create a little workshop of what are three things you're grateful for. But like I'm not being honest with where I am right now. So, So like recently last week we did one called navigating the unknown and like understanding, you know, the relationship to the unknown and kind of asking questions about the unknown and your beliefs that you have about the unknown to kind of break it down so it doesn't seem so scary. Because that really, the unknown really takes control of us a lot of the times and we're so afraid to move forward.

So and that was, you know, a workshop that Allie created because I literally came to her and was like, I don't know what to do. Like I feel terrified and I don't know how to move from this position. and I don't know what to say. And then we had like a good long hour talk. And then she was like, okay, I'm going to now make the warrior workshop because I know what there's going to be. And then we create it off of that. So it's very in real life what we're learning.

And then of course, any books we love, we love to like create workshops from that. But yeah, it's just it's really holding everyone accountable, which is what I love the most. Whereas with social media, it's sometimes just like, who can like say the thing that I'll get the likes or the clicks. Yeah. It is so hard to quantify our impact online. And building those deeper connections through community, it's like you really so easy to underestimate the ripple effect of what happens when you impact one person's life, how that changes their relationships, how they're going to raise their kids,

how they impact people that then will go and impact other people. It's so hard to quantify. But it is cool to see when I'm sure you get those reflections of people that have impacted, you know, you've impacted in the container of the community. and other people in your life, how transformational, just those little changes, those little insights really,

really make, like they're so huge for people. They're everything. And really, I think therapy is an incredible way to, you know, get to some deeper beliefs. But I do think that there is a level of,

like this is what our relationships are here for as well, to really like kind of get nitty and gritty with certain patterns and belief and hold each other accountable. So I will, say like if the friend group that you know whoever's listening to this if you feel is that that's not happening then maybe something that's something you should bring up to the friend group because i've i've

noticed whenever i have an emotional charge or i'm feeling triggered or i'm you know cleaning the house too much there's something that's being not said or not um brought up in the relationship that i need as a person and so and that's truly like our relationships are the biggest reflection of our own growth period end of story it is incredible to see how much I've grown through my relationships of instead of like freezing and ghosting walking through that uncomfortableness and also walking through the fears with them I'm so scared to do this to them or I'm so scared it's like why don't you just say that to them and let's walk that path together not be so afraid of because it's not you against that it's it's

it's everyone against the problem and we just kind of forget that sometimes yeah yeah That's really important. So good. Well, I'm excited to see what evolves from that. And just so curious to see how your path continues to unfold. Me too. It just seems like you're on such a cool trajectory with how you're deciding to, like, share your voice and impact the world more now. And yeah, is there anything having in hindsight, like the conversation that we just had that you like to share about, yeah, anything that feels true for where you're at?

I would just say that right now we need more than ever the grace of change. And whether that be for yourself or individuals online that you follow or the people in your life, we need to let people change because it feels very uncomfortable for people to evolve out of the boxes that we deem them to be. But then we give no grace for them to evolve and become the person that is meant to. And so I think we're all kind of trying to hold each other to certain things right now, and it feels a little suffocating. So at least for me in relationships, just knowing that we're ever evolving, it's always about this continual learning about each other. And then in the world as well, just giving the grace of change to people and making sure that we're not holding people in these boxes because we need it more than ever. We need it more than ever.

because people change, we change. That's all we do, actually. People like, people don't change. I'm like, that's literally like why we're here. And, yeah, when we hold ourselves in these little emotional cells, there's just no way for us to evolve. So, yeah. Make space.

Make space for someone. Yeah, you got to do. Because I think that's what the world's asking for right now. We need it. Yeah. Whether it be in like micro or macro. grow. It's really just, it's the truth. Yeah, just moving from judgment to curiosity. Yeah. And I say this for myself. Yeah, yeah, of course. Same, same, same. Amazing. Well, I've really, early enjoyed this conversation.

Yeah. It's been fun, and I'm excited. Like, I just want to bring more play into this podcast and like, when you brown the red girl. Yeah, it was playful. It was good. I just, I'm excited to have more diverse conversations. Last week I had my monk friend on. This week I have you on. I don't know if they're quite ends at the spectrum, but it's we're covering distance. So it's it's fun. I love to explore just the. You're going to start having intrusive thoughts come up in the podcast. It's going to be moments where you throw something out. And you're just going to be like Tam and Alexi. I pretty often already do that. I listen to that apparently frequently. Perfect. I'll watch for them.

But thank you. Seriously. So much gratitude and stoked for the podcast, which, if you just want to, like, share where people can find that and, yeah, things are coming out. It's just easy a podcast on YouTube. And then the Instagram channel is EasyA podcast as well. So pretty straightforward. It's going to be on my platforms. And yeah, we have some incredible guests coming on. Doctors, speakers, just pretty much anyone that fascinates me. And we'll keep it lighthearted and thank you. on at the same time. So yeah. Sweet. Well, again, I'm really stoked to see you and Allie's journey throughout the whole process. Woo-hoo. Yeah. Hello, fellow podcaster. You're a podcaster.

I'm a podcaster. First ballerina podcaster, perhaps. That is probably not true, but yay. Probably not. All right, beautiful. Thank you so much. Everybody that's been tuning into this episode of the Know Thyself podcast, thanks for coming on this journey. Let us know in which ways this has been uniquely impactful for you. And until next time, be well.