Know Thyself - E12 - Allie Michelle: How to Alchemize Emotions into Creative Expression

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

Poet & Author, Allie Michelle, shares how she embraced empathy as her superpower- and turned it into art. She explains the process of embracing authenticity, creative alchemy, and love as a catalyst for growth. Reminding us that we are here to experience the full spectrum of human emotions - and when we learn to fully embrace it, we're free.   ___________ Timecodes: 0:00 Intro 2:19 Empathy as a Superpower 7:05 Embracing Authenticity  9:14 Creative Alchemy  16:27 Pattern Interrupts 18:33 Relationships  20:02 Poem: “Not a Love Poem” 24:06 Love as a Catalyst for Growth  27:11 We are Warriors 29:58 Legends of Lemuria  33:31 Living a Life of Fufillment  43:00 Going to the Depths 47:10 Poem: Destiny 53:56 Forms of Expression  58:37 Conclusion ___________ Allie Michelle:    Allie Michelle is a poet, writer, and co-founder of NFT school for mental health and wellness, We Are Warriors. She is a certified meditation, breathwork and yoga teacher, which has heavily influenced her work. She has done spoken word performances across the globe, continuing to share her work and inspire people to live vulnerably, love deeply, and create often.   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alliemichellel/ Website: https://www.alliemichellel.com We are Warriors: https://www.wearewarriors.co   ___________   Know Thyself Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/ Website: https://www.knowthyself.one Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ4wglCWTJeWQC0exBalgKg   Listen to all episodes on Audio:  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4FSiemtvZrWesGtO2MqTZ4?si=d389c8dee8fa4026 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/know-thyself/id1633725927     André Duqum Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreduqum/   Meraki Media https://merakimedia.com https://www.instagram.com/merakimedia/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I no longer try to be the painter. I'm like, okay, I'm the paint brush. Just use me, paint with me because whatever, universe life, God, whatever you want to call it, they're going to create a better masterpiece than me. And when I'm surrendered into that state, if I'm performing a poem in a really powerful way or I'm dancing in a powerful way,

very little of me is actually there. And it's the greatest feeling in the world because I'm tapping into something so much bigger. Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome back to the Know They Sell Podcast for every single week. We get the honor and the privilege to sit down with sometimes a dear friend of mine, somebody that's been walking a beautiful path and can help us live a more liberated, beautiful human experience. Today, my guest is a dear friend,

Ali Michelle. She is an author, a poet, a guide, somebody that you'll find maybe leading a yoga nidra workshop or breathwork class or a poetry workshop helping people tap into their own storytelling creative capabilities. She is somebody that I think is a very sensitive soul. She is an empath. She's somebody that I think, like we all are, to hear, we're all here to feel the full spectrum of the human experience. And Ali is great at alchemizing those, those moments of suffering, those moments of struggle into insight, into gold, into wisdom for all of us to grow with and learn from. She's somebody that is amazing with her words. She's an author of two poetry books and a third one, which is coming out soon, called The Words Left Unspoken, yeah? And Allie,

thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. That was quite the introduction. I hope I can live up to it. Yeah. I, uh, this podcast is such a special creation for me and part of it is because I just get to shine a light and have conversations in this kind of setting with people that I just,

I love so much and that I resonate with. And every time I get to hang, hang with you, it's always fun. It's always insightful. Like you ask really great questions and like our conversations go pretty deep, pretty pretty quick. Yeah. always. I don't think we've ever had a small talk moment. Yeah. Once you said that you like to, you feel like you speak in bumper stickers. Yes. Yes. I do feel that way. I love that.

I would actually like to start you, you're, like I said, you're an empath. You know, you're a very sensitive soul and somebody that I feel like a lot of people can maybe resonate with that. A lot of women and men out there that feel like they feel a lot. How have you been able to come to terms and piece with feeling so much and not letting it, yeah, be so overbearing, but being able to navigate it and find the gems in that. I think it's a superpower and it took me a long time to feel that way, but my goal is now to just be an empathetic observer, not an empathetic reactor. Because I think the unhealthy empath, it's almost like this victim mentality of like,

oh, I took this on from you. But in reality, it's like, if you're just actually allowing it to kind of move through you, that that is the magic right there, you know, instead of like holding on to it. Yeah. I think sometimes if we get like scared or overwhelmed, it's like we just want to contract. But if we can allow ourselves to like soften and relax around the experiences we would contract around, like I think that's when it doesn't matter what situation you're in. Mm. You can hold your own.

Yeah. It's like the lack of resistance essentially. Yeah. Because I'll feel that in a party. I'm like, I don't want to feel this. Did I really just say that? Oh my God. And I'm like, shh.

I just come back to my breath, you know. How have you been able to navigate between like what's yours and what's somebody else is? Because if you're feeling a lot, if you're picking up on things at like a gathering or in a different space, like, how do you tell what is somebody else is and what's yours? I used to think of myself like if I, if I were a meme, I would be like this little like mouse with a magnifying glass trying to like microscopically understand everything. So I used to want to know why and have to know why I was feeling some way. But I think emotions are so it's a different kind of intelligence. It could be something from the past. It could be from someone else.

Like, you don't always know. I think my only job as an artist and as a human is to just fully allow that expression. And maybe understanding comes later. But I can't, like, dig for it so that I feel good about the suffering I felt, if that makes sense. Yeah. No, absolutely. And have you found, when you say it's a superpower, like, can you dive into that a little bit? Like, because you feel like you get more insight, like you said, emotions are an intelligence of their own.

It's like, you get to feel a lot more. gives you insight into different relationships, into a deeper understanding of yourself. How do you feel like by feeling more you can become more? I think my connections are a lot deeper. Like my friends always joke, they'll be like, yeah, you're at the nail salon. The woman's just crying about her divorce within two seconds with you. So it's just like, it's that there is no small talk. And I think when you find that in yourself and also when you embrace that darker part of yourself, people subconsciously can feel that all of them is welcome. Yeah. And so, you naturally just have better connections and conversations.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I feel I'm like allergic to small talk. You are too. It's just it's something that I'm sure maybe it's been a source of anxiety for you in public settings where it's just like if you're at a place where maybe you don't know as many people, like if you're in a community event where there's like sole tribe, you can like find your people and there's, you don't have to do that.

Like, hey, what do you do? You know, in the surface level stuff. But being able to dive real deep, I think we share that in. common. Yeah, I think you do the thing that I do where you just back away slowly and disappear when noticing. Yeah. I don't know. I just don't have much bandwidth for anything other than depth. And it doesn't mean it has to be serious. Like play and laughter, all that for sure. Not serious, but sincere at least. You know, it's just, especially in Los Angeles, it's hard because every conversation is pretty transactional. And I'm not talking about in these community

spaces, but it's usually like, hi, how are you? Okay, here's my resume of everything that I do. Yeah. And I think there's just this lack of like humanity when the soul craves connection more than anything else. So it's really hard for me to go there. Yeah. Yeah, no. I think that speaks to just like how a lot of people feel disconnected from others and like

they don't have that sense of community or belonging first because they haven't found that authenticity within themselves and like that sincere, you know, sincerely who they are. And so if you're going to show up in public settings and part of it is it's being fueled by our own feelings of inadequacy, right? We feel like we have to be somebody or come across in a certain way to be accepted. But it's been a pleasure getting to know you and like individuals like in our community where there's just that like deep acceptance just by your presence alone. And that is so liberating for you to step into who you truly are and just to be whatever weird, wild, authentic version of you wants to come out. And, and yeah, that's that's something that I've been

able to see you blossom over the past few years of like really claiming your own. unique, weird, wild, raw, authentic version of yourself. So yeah, what do you feel like has been your journey coming to that place? And has there been a specific event or two that has really catalyzed that? Yeah. I mean, I think the transition overall that I've been making is I no longer try to be the painter. I'm like, okay, I'm the paint brush. Like just just use me, paint with me because whatever like universe life, God, whatever you want to call it, like, they're going to create a better masterpiece than me. And when I'm surrendered into that state, you know, Like if I'm performing a poem in a really powerful way or I'm dancing in a powerful way, very little of me is actually there.

And it's the greatest feeling in the world because I'm tapping into something so much bigger. But for a while, it was like, yeah, I did have kind of a porcelain mask where I'm like, I want to belong and I'm just going to be the nice girl and smile and just like everyone's going to like me. It's going to be great. And I went through like a pretty tough breakup, which was like a very powerful experience because it wasn't just heartbreak. it was like Dakota calls it the shattering of the glass because I felt like I was this like rose in a very glass box and so it was like okay I've now not only been broken but broken open and that's like the greatest gift of it. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's the greatest gift of heartbreak or heart opening or whatever you want to call it. It just it allows you to tap into deeper

parts of yourself that you didn't realize were there and the love that you maybe had for another individual and the form changing where the person maybe is no longer in your life or the relationship changes in the form, the essence of it is still very much there and it can be, that can be held. Yeah. I don't know if you were to say something. No, no, no, no. I was listening. Yeah.

I love that analogy that you gave, though, of the be the paintbrush and not the painter. I think when I look at individuals who are like masters and they have like a level of mastery, it's almost like the doing and the doer collapse into one. and it's like whether it's a concert pianist or an amazing athlete or somebody in their poetry, it's like they are what they're doing. And for you, as you've like developed your creative capacities in poetry or, you know, the various different art forms, what has been the process of that creative alchemy? Because a lot of people suffer, not a lot of people are able to alchemize it into art,

whatever that looks like. You know, it could be poetry. It could be a spoken word. It could be a song. It could be a piece of, you know, a painting. It could be movement. There's so many different ways in which it could express. So yeah, how have you been able to cultivate that skill set and capability? I mean, there's multiple steps. One, it's, you know, to get out of that, oh, my God, this happened to me. What am I going to do? You do have to alchemize it and, like, turn it into something. And I am a firm believer that if there are untold stories inside of you or art that isn't expressed, like a part of you dies. I really do believe that. And I think it's why a lot of people are in pain because they're like, oh, I'm not an artist. I'm not creative. The second part, which most artists fall into is this trap of like, I have to suffer in order to make good art. And so you become addicted to heartbreak and addicted to these difficult experiences.

It's that tortured artist archetype. And I think the third one is like understanding that you have to give yourself over fully to whatever that is. Like joy, sorrow, anger. A good example is like, my most viral. Spoken Word is that one that's like alone is the only time my heart isn't on loan. And I performed it in such a powerful way on that video. Like I gave all of myself. But then afterwards I started like just doing it in the same cadence and rhythm because I knew it had hit.

But I wasn't breaking inside. I wasn't like cracking open. And I remember my friend saying that to me or he's like, you didn't break that time. So you have to do it in a new way and really just like respect each piece of art like its own entity that you're breathing life into. I love that. Those are great frameworks. I think. How does it manifest then? So you're, for example, maybe going through a, could be a difficult situation or like you said, it could be a blissful, expansive experience. And then as soon as inspiration hits or, you know, does it usually come in the form of like a sentence and you start pulling on that thread? How does that unfold for you typically in poetry? Yeah, I mean, all my poems, like I don't sit down and write poetry every day. Every poem comes out of necessity. It's like, I have to write this.

I can't keep this inside of me. And sometimes it comes at really annoying times, like, you know, when I'm driving or something and I'm like really muse right now. But if I can just get one line, that's usually like a diving board where the poem will start to write itself. Amazing. Yeah. I love that analogy of just being able to like find whatever is inspiring or bothering you in

your life and your reality and then being able to allow that channel to flow. And it's like the more that you do that, I feel like the easier gets to do that again, right? Absolutely. Because it's not that it becomes easier. It just becomes possible where I'm like, I've done this. I've gone to the edges of my emotions and I didn't die from it. You know, I still want to throw up every time I post a poetry video online. I'm like, I have a vulnerability hangover. I'm not talking to anyone, but I'll do it, you know. So every time it gets a little easier or not easier, more possible. Yeah. I love that. And I mean, for so many people that go through difficult things, it's like we don't have a lot of us, we haven't discovered the ways in which we can transmute it and like alchemize the difficult things in our life into movement. Like animals shake it off. They have their different ways of shaking off trauma in their life. But as we get older as humans, like we kind of just store it and stuff it down. And I think that we're all such creative beings when we're kids. And we're also expressive. And then. slowly over time through the schooling system and through all these different things that kind of

put us into a form of a box. Like our smile just turns into a frown over time. And it's like everyone's so serious and have this persona or identity that they're like so glued to. So it's yeah, it's a beautiful invitation. Do you have any when you've done like workshops or you support people and tapping into this? Do you have ways for people at home that are like listening right now? how they can begin to transmute and alchemize their suffering. I know you just gave some, but is there anything else that comes to mind?

Yeah, I mean, I usually tell this story in my workshops to set the tone. When I was in Hawaii, after I broke with my partner, I moved into a house full of musicians, you know, Kevin, so I lived with Kevin, Brian, who you met and this girl, Charlie, they were all like singers and artists, guitar, the whole works. And then there's me, a little poet over here. But I was watching them sing. It was so fun just being in a house of creatives like that. And Brian, like, you've heard him.

He will rattle the house. Yeah, bring it down. He won't hold anything back. And Charlie has the most beautiful, lovely voice, but she was singing like it was into a glass bottle almost. So she kind of got frustrated and she turned to him. She's like, how do you do that? Like, how are you accessing that much, you know, power in your voice? And he was like, make an ugly face.

And she kind of like went like this, like this cute little ugly face. And he said, make a real ugly face. And she did and he's like, how'd that feel? She's like, oh, it felt terrible. And he's like, well, that's where you need to sing from. So that's where you have to write from. That's where you have to create from is like, all of you is welcome. This isn't for anyone.

Like make the ugly face because that's when people actually feel something. Yeah. I love it. I think the most powerful pieces of art that I've impacted from is something that is deeply authentic for the person who's sharing it. Right. And I'm sure for you, like your journey of sharing. and creating and writing poetry, it's like the most authentic stuff is probably the most vulnerable stuff to share, but also the most impactful.

Absolutely. Because we have this like editor in our mind. I feel it when I write. It's like before the poem can even come out, I'm already editing it. You know, it's like this judgmental like the blank page is so perfect. Why would I ruin it by putting something on it? And that's what I mean by the ugly faces like, let that voice go. It doesn't matter.

It's so much better to just do it messy and fully express and clean it up later. Yeah. So I think like if you're writing, just like really let that full expression come out. Like don't stop moving your pen. Yeah. What's been the journey for you like letting go of that perfectionism, right? Like I'm sure you have you've made stuff that is really good. And so either if it's comparison to your own work that you deem is like the best stuff or other people's work. Yeah. How have you been able to just be in your own creative process without judging it? Because at least with poetry, it's like, It won't touch people if I do that, if it's too perfect. If I'm talking about the rose gold liquid sunset, you're not going to feel as much as if I'm actually opening up my rib cage and letting you walk in for a bit. So I think that's kind of part of it is like a good poem is anything written honestly. And I feel that way about all art. It's kind of where imagination meets the truth. I love that.

It's a cool analogy. Bumper stickers, man. Bumper stickers, man. Oh, it's so good. If you had one bumper sticker on your card, what would it be? Find the strength it takes to be soft. I love that. Yeah.

I love the inherent paradoxical nature of that. And I think that's what can trigger the truth and realization a lot of people. Side, no, I don't know if I was going to share this. But Blue, a mutual friend of ours, my former partner, most people know by now. She sent me a meme. on Instagram with saying, this is going to be my bumper sticker. And it was, show me that butthole. The full spectrum of possible bumper stickers that are out there.

I love that. Blue is one of those people where her and Fish do this. They're such good pattern interruptors where you're like, did you really just do that? And it like gets you off script. It's the best. Yeah. Just those pattern interrupts are the absolute best that don't make sense. But no sense, but that's why you love them.

Yes. I'm like, you're the best character. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. We're all walking around pretending like we know what's going on here. Right? I feel like you and I are quietly in a corner like observing everything. And they're just like interrupting everyone's patterns.

It's great. One of my greatest memories of fish is like the party was over at my house. I had a gathering over. It was like a potluck or something. And it's just like me and a couple friends left. Like we're chatting in the kitchen. And I just slowly turn my head over and fish is just inchworming his body on the floor. Just across the ground.

No context. Nobody is not doing it for anybody. I'm just like a fish. It's like pattern interrupt, basically. I think I was there that day. There was also that day at Peters where he pulled his pants up to his face and was just walking around like just legs. It was amazing.

Great. We have a full spectrum of amazing weird humans. But I look at that and I'm like, God, what does that feel like to feel that free inside where you truly just don't care? Yeah. Because you can tell he's not doing it for attention. He's doing it because he wants to. For sure.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's the point. It's like not not to be a pattern interrupt just to be a pattern interrupt or just to like try to be out there weird, but to just be deeply authentically you, whatever that wants to show up. Like maybe it's more observant. Maybe it's more playful. Maybe you're interactive. Maybe you're, you know, showing your art, whatever it is. It's like finding that authentic expression is what is a magnet to deeply authentic relationships because you find that within yourself. Yeah. Amazing. Great. Well, we touched on a little bit. Let's talk about relationships because for you, I mean, the years that I've gotten to know you and the various relationships that you've been in and then also reading your new book that is coming out in January. Yeah. Yeah. It's available for pre-order now. But getting to read some of those deeply authentic. Your eyebrows are going up to your hair line.

I was like, damn, girl, you're going there. You're like, that's what I'm supposed to do as a poet. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the cool thing about that is like, I don't know, I think people read those and they're like, oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. And I'm like, no, it doesn't live in me anymore because I wrote that. Like, I could be in a room with him and be fine because I wrote that. So that was my way of taking responsibility for my pain. Yeah. Have you ever wrote a poem where somebody was the impetus to it and you shared it with them? And like, how is that received? I shared it with him. This is not my current boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend. And I was like, hey, I'm doing this. I'm doing this. I'm. I'm doing this. I'm. I. of a heads up. I don't want you to be shocked when this comes out. It could be a year or two. Who knows the publishing? And he read it. And to his credit, he was like, you should release that. I did all those things. And it's really good. And you should release that. And so he was supportive

of the art. That's awesome. Yeah. Amazing, beautiful. Can we, can we share a piece? It doesn't have to be in regards to that. But I would love for you to share. Yeah, share a piece of poetry with us. Of course. Okay. Turning to the inanimate object over here. Is there a name for this one? Not a love poem. Not a love poem. Any preface or do you want to just dive right in? Yes, actually, it's a funny story.

I wrote this poem after that whole situation. I was like, you know what? I'm on my own. I'm good. This is like I'm dating myself right now. I'm just good on all this. A week later, I met my partner. I'm with now.

So it was kind of just God being a clown. Like, yeah, nice try. Yeah. Yeah, so that's where this came from. Amazing. My heart's raised. Make no mistake. This is not a love poem.

But I did hear a story about a couple who's been together for 67 years. That's 268 seasons, 804 months, and 24,458 days. When the husband was asked how he's been with the same woman for so long, he laughed and said, she hasn't been the same woman at all. Maybe that's the key to making love last To dance together On the ashes of who you once were Never holding each other hostage to who you used to be

I once feared losing you And becoming lost in you No one ever tells you that the bravest thing you can do Is open up the gates of your ribcage And let someone leave their fingerprints on your heart Knowing that whether it's for a minute or a lifetime One day You'll park

But make no mistake, this isn't a love poem because I don't write love poems anymore. But if I did, I would tell you that love may conquer all, but it will also break you. Until you open to every kind of love that there is. The kind of love where I give you my sweatshirt when you're cold. The kind of love where I kiss every wrinkle when you're old. The kind of love where I keep you on your toes and drive you fucking crazy. But at the end of the day, well, we're still lucky to call each other baby. I don't write love poems anymore, but if I did, I would say one last thing just to make myself clear.

I don't have the slightest clue what love is, but I can tell you this, it's the reason that we all exist. Oh, so good. You did not look nervous. You nailed that. Oh, really? Because my heart was racing the whole day. I was like, I don't have much breath left to do this. No, that was so powerful, though. And the fact that you memorize all those numbers in the beginning is also very impressive. That was the hardest part. 100% that was the hardest part. Oh, wow.

No, it's so powerful. And it's so true. It's like to me, and it feels like, especially when I read a lot of your poetry, like, you're such a wordsmith. And it's part of why I love you so much is like the way in which you express yourself through words in which most people aren't able to because maybe the depths of feelings that they haven't been able to feel. it's the perception that you've been able to cultivate in your life. But there's this inherent, like, inner commitment to truth, an inner commitment to love. And it shows up in your art, but also, I'm sure, in your personal life, which is where the art comes from, is when you're faced with an interesting situation or a moment where you're confronted off with, you know, a belief, you know,

a belief that you have within yourself that is not in alignment with love, then you're giving us by virtue of, you know, the self-inquiry. first a reminder of like there's a deeper truth here that you really want love you might seek it in a form of a partner and it's you know and a male or a female and there's that attraction that catalyzes love but it's the process of realizing that you are that love so yeah thank you so much for that devotion to the commitment of truth within yourself no i mean thank you like it's i think love is just a vehicle of transformation you know and i i did not want to be the taylor swift of poetry Like, I love T-Swift, but I didn't want to just say, like, this happened to me and I'm heartbroken. I wanted to, like, really make it feel like this empowering force of, like, grace isn't like, I'm going to smile my way through this.

Grace is fierce. It is that commitment to truth. It's like, okay, a part of me, like, I went through this experience and maybe I didn't control the experience, but I control my response to it. That's it. I was responding, not reacting to these various different confronting things that happen in our life. Yeah, how in those moments, in particular, in relation to romantic relationships, has there been without needing to go into any details? Like, has that in romantic relationships been the biggest path for you and coming back

into yourself and being a catalyst for like the mirror of love that you are? Yeah, it's, it's interesting because I think if you have some wisdom, you think that that would apply in your romantic relationship, but then your inner child just like tosses it all out the window for a second. second, at least that's how I was feeling. And it really takes this like, there's two parts of me. There's like, you know, little girl me and then there's adult version of me. And for me, the poetry is kind of like the woman coming in and saying, I've got this.

Like, I've got you. You don't have to act this way. Like, you don't have to explode and press the nuclear option here, you know, because there is that dramatic poet in me that's like, this makes for a better story. And I think for a while I was having experiences. a good story and now it's like I'm just I'm just living my life I'm not like trying to muscle inspiration out of it it's amazing if it feels like poetry is a way it's a form of expression that can't be like replicated in any other art form it's like you're able to say things in a way

that you couldn't just say by just saying the words if I preached at you like hey love is the most important part of existence you'd be like for sure sure okay but there's something cool about storytelling where it's like I'm inviting you to climb inside of my perspective and you can take what you want from it and that feels a lot more accessible to me. What have been some of the biggest inspirations for you in terms of shifting your own perspective or tools and enhancing your own, you know, capabilities as a storyteller? Because I think a good story expands your capacity for empathy. You know, we see a lot of one dimensional characters nowadays. Like I think I kind of was expressing this to you where it's like, okay, there's like the hot girl.

there's the nerd, there's this, there's like the goofy best friend, and it's like the same story being told over and over again. But I think like we need to not be so afraid to write really complex, nuanced people where they're not just like holy good or holy bad. You know, like I'm not afraid to write a really flawed character because that's how we are. And if you can't relate to it, then what's the point of art? Like it's kind of a bridge between two hearts, you know? Yeah. That rhyme too. Sorry. There we go. She's like, I don't write the shit down. It's great. I want to go and go.

to that actually, has there been a specific individual or, I guess, modality of teaching in your personal life, though, that has kind of awakened those realizations within you? Has there been, like, a specific friendship? I'm sure there's been so many, but, like, has there been one or two that you want to speak to? I mean, my sister Alexis is a great example because we grew up best friends, and our moms were best friends, and her mom was really there for my mom during a difficult time. And then her mom actually passed away a year later, and we adopted her and she moved in with us. So my best friend became my sister, but we are so different, like night and day. And I think my favorite part about it is we've never tried to change the other. Like, we've never tried to bring the other into our

world or like anything. It's just been this full embracing of who the other person is because we made this like agreement of like, we're in this for a lifetime. Like you are a right or die no matter what. And I think that created a lot of freedom of like be what you want, go do what you want. And it really helped me be honest no matter what the situation because I knew like I could call her and not be judged by it no matter what I was going through. Amazing, beautiful. Yeah, I love seeing you guys' relationship and how it is. The pendulum swings kind of both ways and various different things and guys and what you're pursuing. But you guys are collaborating in newer ways, right, with We Are Warriors. Yeah, we own a company together. It's a lot of fun. It's actually the easiest like business relationship I've ever

had in my life because we know each other so well so we know what the other would want. But that's cool. We're mentoring like thousands of girls and it's becoming like an online wellness school, which is really special. Wow. Yeah. That's so amazing. Does it look like what is it just like calls online? They have like access to, you know, static content that's like over 300 hours and then they get three live calls a week with us. She'll usually like pick a topic to go off about and discuss with them. And I do challenges. So I did like a write a book in 30 days challenge with them teaching them how to publish. A whole book. Nice. And people did it. One or two of them finished, but like, they at least have the tools. Yeah. It's probably more about the challenge. Like, just doing it.

Yeah, that was all I wanted is like the only difference between you and like a writer, artist you love is like they stayed devoted. They stayed in the chair. Like they kept going. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Do you have any frameworks in particular or like questions that you use to provoke the growth in, you know, guiding that many women? Yeah, I mean, if we do writing workshops, particularly poetry workshops, I'll usually pick a theme. So I'll say, like, you know, write a poem about leaving. Could be leaving your house, could be leaving a person, you know, or write a poem about this or that.

And there's usually a theme, but I also say, like, hey, if this turns into something else, like you don't need to fit your inspiration into the assignment. So. Yeah. Yeah. Powerful. Amazing. And you are writing a nonfiction or wrote.

I wrote. I wrote one. So amazing. Can you tell us about that? Because that's so even just like the little snippets that I've been able to read or hear from you is like it's a beautiful story. But yeah, what was impetus to that? What is that? What's that looking like in terms of like release?

It actually started during the pandemic because I was like, well, my world is gone. Might as well create one of my own, you know. But also because I grew up watching Harry. Potter and Lord of the Rings and loving those books. And I never had like a really relatable female, you know, hero to look up to. Obviously, we have Katnus Everdeen now, but like that was, I was a bit older when that came out. So I just wanted to write like the kind of person I would have wanted to hear from when I was younger. And like, I think the best place to hide the truth is in fiction. So I sneak in a lot of wisdom without it being like very obvious. Because at least with storytelling and

fiction in particular, I'm not thinking about an audience or if it'll be a bestseller. I'm thinking about one person I'm writing this for because that makes it less scary. So I thought of like, what would I want my future daughter to know if I could tell her this story? So what is the main theme, I guess, in that story in particular and like the wisdom that's coming from it? She's learning to trust herself, like just, you know, basic plot context. It's kind of a future dystopian era. She's living in a city called Fallen Angels, no fun intended, but totally intended, in these slums. And everyone's kind of playing in these underground speakeasies, this really addictive virtual reality game. And they're looking for a map that leads to three priceless stones.

No one knows what they do. They just want the stones. She finds the map, ends the whole game, it all shuts down, and she ends up realizing it leads to a real fantasy realm, where her mother happens to be alive. And the three stones are. And the three stones represent the most unusual. controllable forces in life, love death and time. So when she uses a timestone, she'll meet with father time and like learn about that. And it's just like, yeah, I had so much fun writing it. It's the most fun I've ever had making something. Yeah. I mean, that's wild. It's like, I guess you just like let your imagination run wild and just see where it takes you. Like, how do you, what's the, how do you actually write fiction? Is it literally just whatever you think of and

just like see where it goes and then like shaping the whole storyline? I don't have much experience with that so it's super fascinating. I felt like the story was kind of already there. So I actually wrote first draft and then I got COVID. My fever went up to 105 and I woke up like with a fever dream in the middle of the night and got a whole different story. Same characters. So I scrapped it like 250 pages. Thanks COVID.

Yeah. Thanks COVID. Honestly, inspiration hits at weird times. At 105. At 105. But I think the most important piece was the characters and making sure they all had a backstory and their own. like reasoning for why they did things and like each voice felt really different like that was the not most difficult part but that took the most like time and attention because from there it was like

the dialogue wrote itself you know amazing when is that going to be released i don't know i'm looking for the proper book agent at the moment and then from there with publishing it's usually like a year after you sign the contract so who knows yeah cool the plot sounds epic sounds like an epic movie yeah that would be so cool it's an epic adventure yeah one of the characters is actually inspired by Dakota. So you'll know exactly which one. It's pretty funny. Oh, cool. Yeah. So good. Amazing. When you zoom out from your life and you look at like this path out. You're very young. How old are you? 25. Okay. Or at the same age. Yeah. We're both very young. Yeah. We feel like we're, we are very early on our journey, but we have a good sense at our age, I think more than more, more than most of like the

direction that we want to and the ethos and the energy of like how we want to impact the planet. for you, this like living a life of fulfillment, and I'm sure over the past five years, 10 years, you've been able to like actually harness that and feel that within your life by waking up and doing what you love. What do you think are some core values that are important in order to live a life of fulfillment? I think for me it's remembering like the beauty and simplicity. Like I, it takes very little to fulfill the deepest part of me. It's like watching a sunset, playing in nature, being with people I love, writing.

Like it's very simple. Whereas I think we're so ingrained to just like constantly worship this idea of more. And it's not that we shouldn't keep going and keep growing and keep like wanting new dreams. I think that's important, but also like not relying on that to be the thing that fulfills you. Spot on. It's so true. I think we we just live in a consumerist culture where it's like especially if you're sucked in the social media rabbit holes of comparison and seeing what everyone else is doing and everyone's highlight rule. It's like, yeah, I have to do more.

I have to be more. I have to try. I got to travel the world and have a nice car and have a dream relationship. And it's like I love the perspective shift of having this. Instead of having some grandiose need in order to feel fulfilled, it's like savoring those small little moments in your day to day life that are mundane. But you can find fulfillment in them by how you engage with them. Yeah.

Like I wish we measured our lives and like memories instead of milestones, you know. And that is what we're taught where it's like, okay, have a good career, get married, have kids, like, you know, just enjoy your life till death comes pretty much after that. So, and that's like really devastating when the great mysteries of your life become fulfilled where it's like, oh, I succeeded. I found my person. There's this bittersweet feeling of like, okay, I got my milestone done. Whereas like if you're treating every moment that way, it doesn't matter. It's so true. It's so true. It's like if you were to zoom out and like if you were given the opportunity right now to transport 10 to 20 years into your ideal life where you

you got it you made the success you had the money you have the business you have the relationship would you do it if your answer is yes i feel like you would deeply regret it because it's not in the realization or actualization of getting the thing and getting to the place it's like all these cliches of life are cliches for a reason right it's like it's about the journey not the end result but we operate so much as if we are going to our happiness and our ideal life is somewhere in the future, which is never here. It's never in the present. And so it's like that framework of realizing like, no, you wouldn't actually jump to the end of your life where you did all your things.

Why? Because you missed the whole journey. So the journey is the point, right? And it's like finding the nuggets and enjoying your life in those small moments. And it's a practice for me, at least it has been like finding peace and finding stillness. and going to quiet zones where I can realize, like, I'm watching the movie of my life unfold right now. Like, I have big visions of what I want to create. I have a, you know, I know where I want to take my business in this podcast and I feel confident and I have belief in myself that it is going to impact a lot of people and be on a really big scale.

But I don't want to miss the movie as it's happening in a way. Yeah, that's such a beautiful point. It's like we both love and fear the mystery. where it's like, will it all work out? Then it's like, you don't really want to know. You just want to dance with it as it unfolds. And, you know, most people like, yeah, they'll enjoy the movie. Some people lock themselves in a room and do a darkness retreat.

We all have our ways. We all have our ways. Yeah, you're like a spiritual warrior. I'm like, I don't know how that would go if I did that. Yeah. There's something inherently really attractive for me for this like, I don't know. I just like want to throw myself into the abyss and see where the edges of my consciousness are. I'm sure, you know, you have this in your own ways.

Of course, extremists. Yes. Yeah. So like whether it's jumping to darkness for six days or meditation retreats or whatever it is, I feel like those immersive experiences are where real transformation happens. And it might not be in like a verbalized way or like understanding of like, oh, I made this big shift. But energetically coming into those places where you're still and you can like energetically attune yourself back to nature's frequency, then life just has its way of giving you what you need.

And it's like so much bigger than you can ever comprehend or plan for and like create. But it's like life has its way of giving you what is your birthright. What is your nature if you can tap back into your own nature. Yeah. I think it's a lot simpler than people think because I was recently in Hawaii and I spent one day just not on my phone. Rock hopping, climbing trees, like being in the sun and my anxiety was gone. And I was like, oh, this isn't normal. Yeah.

Yeah. No, it's so true. It's so powerful. And I think most people out there listening to this, that they were to experiment with that and to really see like so much of what we perceive to be these big boulders and hurdles in life that are so difficult to overcome and caught in the cause of so much suffering and anxiety, like it would literally just be solved by a simple breathwork practice or a meditation routine or just going out on a walk. It's like we overcomplicate And we try to fix the mind's problem with the mind. And I feel like using the body to control the mind is a much more effective modality

and way of actually getting results because you get out of your mind. It's like that's where the problems are existing right now and these thoughts that you have about your perceptions about reality and coming back into nature going on walks, doing breathwork, all these things are amazing tools. So yeah, if you want to touch on that and then also maybe what have been some of your biggest tools of re-grounding. Well, I think like first something really especially, that we were talking about on the Zoom call was you saying like it wasn't as the breakup wasn't as difficult of an experience because you allowed yourself to fully feel it. And I think that that's something really important to know. It's that animal like shaking it off. You know, like if you do go there, if you let yourself kind of be held under by that wave for a second, then it's like it doesn't last as long. You know, you're not five years later still thinking about this thing because you didn't like shove it down. Yeah, absolutely. I think moot like, willingly moving into the direction of discomfort will actually give us a life of more comfort.

Yes. Oh my gosh. I bet that cheesy thing. Find comfort and discomfort. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. All those cheesy cliche things are there for a reason. They're there for a reason. I'm always like, ha, ha, yeah. And I'm like, damn it, that cliche was great. But no, my practices, I mean, I used to have a crazy morning routine where I was like, I'm going to dance and journal and meditate and do that. And now I feel better than ever, no, I'm just kidding. Now it's just simple. It's like just breathwork. It's the one tool I always have with me. You know, I can regulate my own nervous system. It brings me back into the present moment. Like it's shocking that most of us just breathe enough to survive. And it doesn't always have to be that crazy like shamanic. You're getting pterodactal hands and sobbing and like, you know, having

shutters. I love those sessions by the way. Yeah, they're great. But I think it's also more powerful to just like practice your breathing throughout the whole day. Just simple inhale, simple exhale. You know, because then you're more in touch with how you're feeling than what you're thinking. Yeah, absolutely. It's just tapping you into that.

Power of our breath is so, so, it's so wild how amazing we're capable of feeling and how crazy it is of how normal we've come to feel that it's okay to just be in a subtle state of anxiety our whole life. And like, that's normal because it's been normalized. And it's the way of, unfortunately, a lot of people are feeling and operating in their life. But coming back into realizing the power of your own breath is like one of the most transformative realizations I think you could have.

Yeah, it's so true. Everyone's like, everyone has anxiety and depression. Everyone's suffering. See, she's not sure. She doesn't believe it either. Siri said she was not sure about that. That was great timing. Such good timing.

But it's like those times I've been depressed. If I sit down and I do 30 minutes of breath work, like, I'm good. My heart's back open. I get the serotonin boost. It's not that the pain is gone, but it's like I'm not, it's not that feeling of like, I'm just going to hide under my covers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think it goes back to what we were talking to earlier is like being willing to go into the discomfort and go and release the resistance that you have to whatever you're feeling, but still being able to be in the feeling, be in the emotion. And it's like, I think we're such in a rush sometimes to get out of our discomfort and get out of our misery or proverbial, you know, whatever our issue is. Whether we're going through a heartbreak or we're going through being fired from a job or we're going through a loss in our family or like whatever the difficulties of life come, we're quick to and rightfully so wanting to get out of feeling bad. But also, if you're able to marinate in those moments, I feel like there's so much. there's so many gems to be mine in those times.

So yeah, if you want to speak to that, I know like for me, my previous breakup in certain difficult moments in my life, it's like not rushing to get out of them have given me so much more insight that I can use in the rest of my daily life. Yeah, it's what we're talking about where it's like the rarest of stars only come out in the darkest of nights. Like every poem I wrote in that book was during my dark night. And if I had missed that and tried to escape it, I never would have pulled. that out. And it honestly probably would have all circled back with a different person, different

place. Yeah. So I think it's very important to like sit in those times because I also don't just want to paint with one color of the palette, you know? It's like give it all to me. Then I think the other part of that as like extremists is you can almost become addicted to testing yourself in that way. And it's like, okay, how do I find comfort and comfort now? I think it's going well. Yeah. That's my challenge lately. I'm like, everything's fine. Should I ruin it all? Yeah. Am I addicted to chaos now? Yeah, no. I mean, it's so, I think we get, it's easy to get caught in the motion of just playing like the middle C on the piano in our life.

But like we're here to play the full spectrum of the piano and the highs and the lows and to experience it all. And that's what it makes a life fulfilling, I feel like, is that you're tasting all that life has to offer. You're not just kind of in this repetitive over-analysis. over-analytical way of viewing your life, but you are your life. You're not thinking about it all the time. Yeah. I mean, it's like one of my favorite writers, Hunter S. Thompson, he has this incredible quote. And it's, I plan on skidding into the grave sideways, body used up, worn out,

screaming, what a fucking ride. And that's exactly how I plan to go. And I can't do that unless I'm going to those edges, you know. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. So powerful. Yeah.

Yeah. That's for me, one of my like earlier fears, I think. And like, I just did not want to have regret. I don't want to have regret when I'm 70 plus years old, you know, saying, what if I did that one thing? What if I explored that one avenue? Talk to that one person, tried that one career. And it's, you know, it's tough for people that feel stifled in their day-to-day life. Maybe they're in a job or in a situation where they're not fully alive and they don't like it. But we all can find five, 10 minutes in a day where we can explore that thing that our heart is calling us towards. And it's in that, that sea that you plant, that you can begin to water every single day that can then grow. And it could be the way that you make money in the world. It can be your

full-time thing, whatever your passion is. But we overcomplicate it, I think, sometimes in thinking that we just have to jump into finding our life's purpose right off the bat when it's like, figure out what, what strings are, you know, being pulled, pulling your heart and to allow that to unravel and slowly unfold over time. And then you can, live life and at the end of your days be a fully expressed wild burnt out whatever you know version of yourself yeah I mean it's um did you ever see soul it's our movie so good you know at the end where one of the jerry's is like ah you humans chasing your purpose as though that's a thing you know and then it it goes back and he's just like crying seeing the leaf fall in the way the light hits it it's like that's it you know purpose is such a

Western culture thing to like look for. Like you need a permission slip for being here, you know? It's almost like commodifying your life. It's like there is a means, there's, there's an end and there's a goal to your life that you have to achieve one day. And it's like I had Richard Rudd on founder the Gene Keys and we had an epic conversation. I love the perspective that he shares of like you are your purpose, the energy and your essence that is a purpose unto and itself.

and that takes the pressure off of thinking you need to be anywhere other than you are. And then you become available to grace to appreciating the sparkle of sunlight and the reflection of a leaf or the most simplest things you can find bliss and because it's hidden in everything and everywhere. It's all about the leaf. It's all about the leaf. All right, amazing. Would you share another poem with us? Is there one that's calling out to you right now?

Yes. I'm going to pull my phone up as. Not aesthetically nice as that is. Because I haven't done this in a long time. Oh, it's all good. But since we're talking about purpose, this one, you know Mia Magic, right? You've had her on here. Yeah, we just released her episode.

Yeah, this came from her actually because I met her at my friend Christine's birthday party and I didn't know anyone. So it's one of the social anxiety moments for me. And she comes over wearing this giant witch's hat. So I was like, yeah, I want to talk to you. And she tells me she's an etymologist. And so she starts saying how, like, mafia meant wise mother, like a covenant of mothers. And I made a comment.

She's like, oh, what do you do? I was like, I'm weird. I do a lot of things. She's like, well, you know what weird actually means? It means destiny. And I was like, huh. So that's where this came from. Amazing.

The original meaning of the word weird, W-Y-R-D, meant destiny, that to be weird was to be one who followed the past. of their destiny, meaning that normal is already a road that has been paved, and when you're weird, no one else can show you the way. What is my destiny? I can't help but wonder what I'm even doing here sometimes. I go about my life on autopilot and forget that I'm alive. Is the point to work? To hustle for my purpose, check off that list of to-does so I don't appear worthless?

Or is it to find the one? fall in love, create a family until death decides to come. Or maybe it's to fight in the battleground of my mind at the past that tries to take hold of me and I ignore the way my heart stops when I trip over my own thoughts at the sight of your name. I'll smile. When I tell the story of how I transcended it all, how much it taught me, how I did enough ceremonies and wrote enough poems to walk on water wearing pristine robes. But nowadays, I think I'd rather wear a black cloak.

So my shadow becomes my cape, and everyone around me can embrace being gloriously human. They can love and dance and smoke and eat and fuck and fight and fall to their knees. Gloriously human. My lungs were the very first thing that God kissed when I came into this world. So every inhale and exhale is a love story of purpose. So I hope you're weird like me, one who's on the past, of their destiny. That's all.

That's all. Mic drop. Oh, so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. We need more individuals with this perspective that are claiming their weird version of themselves. It's like the more that we have people coming fully alive and, you know,

what you're speaking to and this, in that realization in their life, the more everything will get better. the more innovations that we'll have in life, the more, the more people will be doing what makes them fully come alive. And that's what the world needs more right now desperately. Yeah, it just, it needs like to embrace the humanity of it all. You know, I'm not trying to transcend myself here. It's like, this is it to be like flesh and bone. Like this is part of it, you know. It is to be flawlessly flawed in that way. Yeah. And I think it's the balance of like inherently hardwired within us. There's this feeling of,

wanting to grow and to evolve. It's within its hardwires. And so it's, it's the balance of finding complete inherent peace with your being, but also becoming and that you get to create and that we are creative beings and that you get to paint whatever you want to paint in this life. And being able to do both well is, is a rare art form that not many people have been able to cultivate in your life. But it's the most fulfilling balance. When you're fully at peace with who you are, and you're in your own energy. Yet you get to create and build whatever business or create whatever project or art or relationships in your life.

And that's just an infinite potential timeline to explore whatever you want in this human experience. Yeah. It's like, pass your demons a drink. Hang out with them. It's like, what's that proverb? If there's no enemy within, the enemy without has no power. I can't remember who said that.

but like for a know-thyself podcast shameless plug um i think that's really it is like the more you know yourself the more you're comfortable with yourself like the less you feel crippled by life yeah totally that's why i mean that's why i named a podcast know thyself for me it feels like the highest aim of my life you know and i think it's like why we're all here the deeper that we can know ourselves the more joys we get to have in this human experience so thank you for that reflection. Yeah, thank you. And like, you can tell, like, you can feel it when someone, like, I guess we never fully know ourselves, but when they've made peace with it, at least for the most part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Being at peace with the inherent uncertainty and not knowing, that is one of the

qualities that I really love to cherish most in people. Like there's certain qualities or character traits, if you want to call it, that are just really value and cherish. And being open-minded is one way of saying it. But also just being at peace with, like, life's inherent uncertainty, not thinking that they need to have an ideology or a dogma to, you know, fluff up their own dis-ease, really the fact that they don't have peace with life's inherent uncertainty. It's like that stillness and just being okay with not knowing is one of the biggest catalysts to actually even knowing in the first place. Yeah. And it's usually like the opposite of what that ballooned kind of projection is is kind of like what's lacking inside

for the most part at least i find like instagram's such a good example for that for example like a you know hypersexualized account it's like they might feel a lack of intimacy inside because that part is constantly being exposed or like a hyper spiritual i have all the answers it's like there's actually so much fear happening inside for the uncertainty and it's not always that way i'm just saying like a lot of the times you end up creating the opposite of what you're trying to put out in the world absolutely Yeah, being able to express all versions of you. You know, I think when you get too narrowly identified with one version of yourself, then that is going to be stifling and be a cause of suffering.

Yeah. What are some of the other ways outside of poetry, like, that you really love expressing yourself and you found the multidimensionality of who you are? Definitely dancing. That's like church for me because like I'll never, you know, Jewish, we'll never say never. But I have no interest in like performing or having a career in it. And so having this thing that has no pressure, like it means the world to me. I like once a week I run out of studio with Dakota and he'll teach me a combination.

And it's whatever I'm going through. Like if I'm angry, he'll make a sequence around that. If I'm happy, like and I can feel it like my body transmutes it in that way. And I think it's one of the coolest things in the world to be able to make art without words. because my whole life is words. And I remember asking him, I was like, how do you do that? How do you just improv in front of 500 people? And he's like, I'm not making the shape.

You know, the art is informing itself. The music tells my body what to do. So that's been like a really cool language for me to learn. Amazing, beautiful. So good. There was a question in your book that's coming out. I think it was, is your life yours or are you owned by something that you're afraid to face.

Yeah. Something like that. Close enough. Close enough. Yeah. So I think that's a beautiful question just to pose to the listeners, but then also within your life, like how, I think questions, questions are the genesis of focus, right? So like what questions are you asking yourself in life?

And that is really going to determine the quality of your life and where you're going, wherever you're paying your, you know, attention to. You know, how have you used asking questions both within yourself and then with others as a tool and catalyst for self-realization? I think questions are, are magic. Like, speaking of the power of podcasts, because you're not making an assumption about someone, you know? And also, they're not immediately jumping to the script.

Yeah. Like, you have to kind of take a step and step back and, like, there's space and room to explore. And I think that's what's cool is, like, you don't really need the answers. You're just living the questions, you know? So I always ask myself that in my journal where I'm like, you know, why am I feeling this way? What am I running from? What am I running towards? You know? Yeah, that was another what powerful one that you have as well, right? What are you running from?

What are you running towards? Yeah, it's from this James Turber poem. It's all humans should learn before they die what they're running from to and why. Amazing. Yeah. What would you say that is for you here to answer that? I think I'm running towards just like peace and freedom. Like I'm running towards feelings in my body now than a specific thing. and I'm running from feelings in my body now. You know, I still struggle with like how deeply I feel. It's like very overwhelming sometimes. So there are moments from like, I don't want to feel this. So not like I think whatever distraction you reach for, like that's what's keeping you from like reclaiming your personal power.

You know. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. Beautiful. I've been loving this conversation. I think, you know, we spoke to it a little bit. but questions in this conversational style of like not thinking that we need to have the answers

or have life solved if that's even possible. I don't think it is. But it's a reality to be experienced, you know, and this podcast and this format and these conversations are such a blessing for so many people that get to watch them. But first and foremost for me, like it's such a pleasure to be able to sit down in this case with you and be able to just reflect on like our journeys and insights that we've learned. and how is really just the beginning and how exciting that is to see. I just can't wait to see you blossom and you grow on your path.

And I have such a strong confidence in belief in how many people you're going to impact in this world and this life. So I'm super proud of you. Thank you. That's so nice. Thank you. I feel the same for you. I mean, honestly, one thing I've told you this about your presence is like you're so still. It kind of lets everyone in the room like settle in to themselves.

And I think that's what you're doing here is, like, you're helping people like settle into themselves. And also it's really magical because it's like how often do we just sit down with zero distractions and talk to each other. Yeah. You know. Yeah. It's a beautiful excuse to be able to do so.

Yeah. Yeah. So thank you for doing that with me today. Of course. Thank you. You asked the most wonderful questions. Thanks. Is there anything else on your heart that you want to share in general?

I just, I honestly just feel grateful. Like I really enjoy these moments when I'm fully. here. You know, I treasure them. So just thank you for that opportunity. Yeah, absolutely. Where can people find more Allie Michelle or like websites, Instagram socials, all the things. Instagram is at Ali Michelle L. There's a random extra L there. I made it when I was a sophomore in high school. Can't change it. And same website, all of it. It's all there. The new book is linked in my bio if you're interested in that. And that's it. Amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you. Such a pleasure. My honor. All right.

Thanks for coming on this journey with us, beautiful human beings. Can't physically see you, but I can feel the energy in which this podcast and the conversations that we get to have are so deeply nourishing for me. And I hope that they are for you. And if they are, please let us know in the comments. Let us know in the ratings. Let us know by the likes and subscriptions. And I'm excited to continue being on this journey with you.

So until next time, we'll be able to.