Know Thyself - E37 - Jesse Israel: Overcome Adversity With Meditation & Discover Your TRUE Calling

Episode Date: March 14, 2023

Jesse Israel reveals how he has overcome life's challenges by using the power of mindfulness & meditation. He shares his journey of trusting in the unknown and leaving his job in the music industry - to starting 'The Big Quiet', which brings mass meditations around the world. He also shares his recent health and internal struggles, and how he's learned to find joy and peace, regardless of external circumstances. Jesse shares a powerful message for anyone looking to align to their life's purpose, and harness the power of our own innate intelligence. Jesse also gives his advice for creating a meditation practice, building community, and developing confidence within.   ___________ Timecodes: 0:00 Intro 2:28 Leaving the Music Industry  10:02 Using mindfulness to follow your purpose  17:03 Creating the Big Quiet 32:32 Imposter syndrome: Feel the fear, do it anyways  37:02 When Everything Falls Apart  52:15 How to Meditate 59:10 Community  1:05:20 Building Confidence  1:10:39 Conclusion ___________   Jesse Israel:    Jesse is a meditation leader, keynote speaker and leadership coach known for founding the mass meditation movement The Big Quiet. Named "The Meditation Expert" by The New York Times, Jesse has led some of the largest meditations on earth — having toured arenas with Oprah Winfrey and co-hosted international broadcasts with Deepak Chopra. An Audible Originals best-selling creator and a Forbes Next 1000 recipient, Jesse has collaborated on meditation projects with grammy winning rappers, coached the world’s most influential entrepreneurs and keynoted at Fortune 500s around the globe.    Prior to his work at The Big Quiet, Jesse ran a tech fund and record label called Cantora (acquired 2016), where he signed multi-platinum bands like MGMT.   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jesseisrael/ Website: https://www.jesseisrael.com The Big Quiet: https://www.thebigquiet.com   ___________   Know Thyself Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/ Website: https://www.knowthyself.one Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ4wglCWTJeWQC0exBalgKg   Listen to all episodes on Audio:  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4FSiemtvZrWesGtO2MqTZ4?si=d389c8dee8fa4026 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/know-thyself/id1633725927     André Duqum Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreduqum/   Meraki Media https://merakimedia.com https://www.instagram.com/merakimedia/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For all of my adult life, my sense of happiness was almost always tied to external things. I went from this career peak to everything getting wiped out. We find evidence for what we choose to believe, and everything I was focused on was my career going down. Sure enough, I started to watch that unfold. And I had to reach that low point for me to realize that if I continued on this path, this would just continue to be my life pattern. And instead, there was a choice. instead of focusing on what wasn't there, I focused on the good that was there.

I just started this practice. That muscle of enthusiastic gratitude, love for myself, celebration, sense of self-worth, choosing to cultivate those things, those muscles, just started to build up. There's this all-knowiness and intelligence that we have access to. Such a big part of how we're able to really cultivate that nature's intelligence is by slowing down, is by getting quiet, is by creating the boundaries so we can feel into ourselves. Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome back to the Know Thyself podcast for every single week. We get the honor and privilege to sit down with a brilliant mind and open heart and somebody

that can help us know ourselves at deeper and deeper levels today. My guest today, as sometimes often the case, is a dear friend of mine. If you listen to this podcast, I'm assuming that you listen to it because you want to know yourself deeper. You want to walk in alignment with truth. and you want to become the most authentically expressed version of yourself. And this guest today, who's a dear friend of mine, is somebody who is a former record label exec. He is a keynote speaker, a coach, somebody who leads mass meditations all around the world and founded something called the Big Quiet. And he is just somebody as a friend that I feel like is an incredibly present human being. He's very lighthearted, very playful,

and he's very insightful. And the way in which he shares meditation, finding stillness and how to become, how to tap back into the truth of who you are, I think is a very relatable and authentic way to connect with people. So without further ado, Jesse Israel, thank you for coming on the show, my friend. Thanks for having me, brother. So nice to be here. My guy. My guy. We're here, man. I'm so glad we're able to do it. Me too, man. I'm looking forward to this. Yeah, yeah, man. It's been so beautiful to be able to, you know, develop our friendship over the past couple years and hearing a little bit of your story, when we first connected was really inspiring, man, because I just love to dive right in.

I think that for everybody, no matter who you are in life, there's points in which you make a pivot into a path of more alignment. And for you, you know, starting out with your, you know, record label and being in the music industry, there comes a point in everybody who's listening to this to where suddenly the life that you're living doesn't feel as exciting for you because your values change. You evolve as a person. And so for you, what was the pivot into finding meditation from where you came from and the realization that you wanted to lead a different life?

I started this record label when I was, I just turned 20. So I didn't know anything about business. And I was just following something that felt really exciting, which was I was into music. I was going to school in New York City. So created this dorm room record label with my roommate at the time. And it just felt exciting and cool. So we followed that for a while. And as it was building and we signed a band called MGMT that wound up doing really well, we were essentially full-time students while also running this record label full-time.

And by the time I was 23, I was getting pretty fried, pretty burnt out, and was experiencing panic attacks, pretty debilitating anxiety. And it was about 15 years ago. We weren't having the types of conversations on social media and culture around mental health that we were done at that time. So at that time for me, I really felt like it was something that I couldn't talk about and I had to figure out what was wrong with me on my own. So my journey through kind of moving through a lot of that internal discomfort was a really private journey. And in going through that, I tried a lot of different things. Meditation was one that worked really well for me. It also lined up with being private at the time.

And it just brought me so much relief. And as it started to bring me relief and as I started to feel, like I could be more like me, less of kind of the blocks and holdbacks that I was experiencing from such an overwhelming amount of anxiety, I started to feel like I could enjoy my life and be more expressive of who I really was in the music biz. And that led to me starting to host little meditations, you know, backstage at music festivals. And in my work at these events that were so literally loud, we were getting really quiet. And there was something really cool about slowing down and bringing silence into these spaces and into these relationships in the music

business that were so chaotic. And it was in those moments where I realized this was something that other people wanted. I remember other people would start to, you know, this would be like backstage at a Coachella or, you know, a place where the last kind of place you'd think you'd be talking about mental health with people. And music managers or executives that I looked up to would open up to me and share that they were going through similar stuff, that's that. they were also experiencing a lot of that internal discomfort, but weren't talking about it. So we started having these little meetups where we could get quiet and we could talk about real things. And it was so validating and healing to do that, especially with people that we all kind

of looked up to. So that gave me a lot of juice. You know, there was something about creating a space where people could just be themselves, get quiet, but also really connect about the real things that were happening. And I saw that it was serving the need. I saw that it was something that people wanted. And the more we started doing these meetups, the more they grew. Hundreds of people starting to show up. So I just, for me, it was just about realizing that the 10 years that I was in the music biz were really cool, challenging but filled with a lot of creativity and, you know, interesting

growth, ups and downs. But I reached this point where I felt like I'd kind of maxed out on my growth in that industry. And the next thing for me was to figure out how I could continue to serve this need around connection and people talking about real things and slowing down to do that. So it was all gut. You know, I was 29 when I realized that my heart was no longer in my record label. And it was really scary. But I made a commitment to myself to just take that leap and follow my gut and really just

open up into what was next and continuing to serve the need, continuing to pay attention what people wanted. And that's what led me into that career pivot. Yeah. Before we die further, a lot of people struggle with making that leap. It's scary. Like you said, you know, it's a death of sorts to the life and identity that you've created in whatever field, industry, career relationships that naturally have to fade away as you step into a life of more alignment. So how were you able to actually do that? I know meditation was an incredible assistance and you developing clarity for that for that path. But how are you able to actually make that happen? I took baby steps with honoring my gut. I believe that the gut or that kind of deeper intuitive feeling is is. something, it's like a muscle and it gets stronger the more we activate it, the more we use it,

the more we trust it. So I would just take these little baby steps around if my gut was speaking to me, even if it was something small around like, should I go on this trip with friends or not? Or should I say yes to these dinner plans or not, right? Just like small, oftentimes social things, listen to the gut. And I would act on it and honor it. And my gut became really clear. So by the time I was faced with a really big life choice, like you said, I mean, one that was really tied to my identity. So much of who I was was built up on this record label. I had this really strong gut muscle. So I was able to really honor that intuitive pull because I had seen consistently that by honoring it and that by trusting it, it would always unfold into more color, more evolution. My gut never, you know,

served me wrong. So I think there was a buildup that helped me get to that point. And the other piece to it was I had seen, I think, enough people, especially in the music industry, the space that I was in, who had lost the juice and their hearts were no longer in it. And I was watching how unhappy they were becoming. You could see it in their skin. You could see it in the way that they moved through the world. And that also became inspiration for me to say, I don't want to be that. I want to take a risk to continue to evolve.

So, yeah, those are a couple pieces. does that help me do that? Yeah. Man, the ability to develop the capacity within you for that intuitive voice within that is like always guiding us and can often feel like we can't hear it. But if we do tap in and get quiet, then we can listen to those whispers. Ultimately, I feel like guide us to what our life is supposed to be and our fulfilling our Dharma and living that life of alignment.

Meditation for both of us and in both of our past has been an incredible tool to be able to cultivate that ability to listen to our intuition. within. I feel like our mind very much so is like, it's like a pond that we continually throw pebbles in and all these ripples are happening and we can't see the reflection. There's no clear reflection there until we get quiet until we get still, then we can actually have clarity. A lot of people struggle with trying to get motivated to create their dream life. And oftentimes if you don't need more motivation, we just need clarity. And we're so confused because there's so much noise in our life. So spot on. So for you, man, I know getting quiet has been in

incredible path of service and stepping into leading large mass meditations with Oprah Winfrey up to 17,000 people in these big stadiums. And before we get into how that kind of unfolded, man, is there anything you want to touch on to how meditation in particular allowed you to continue to develop clarity and how that force of intuition got stronger and stronger as you started to move and follow those gut instincts? Oh, I love this question. My belief system is that the gut is nature's intelligence speaking through us, that there's this directionality and all-knowingness and intelligence that we have access to when it comes to small and the greatest and most challenging decisions in our lives. And how, such a big part of how we're able to really cultivate that

nature's intelligence, that gut is by slowing down, is by getting quiet, is by creating the boundaries so we can feel into ourselves. So for me, the things that I found started to become most helpful really started with my phone. It really started with my devices. That, I think for me, social media and just the constant contact is oftentimes the most overwhelming components in my life. You know, I had read a stat that spoke about the amount of information that we process. And it was that our great ancestors who were hunters and gatherers living in tribes, you know, 12,000, 15,000 years plus ago, the amount of information that they would process in their entire lives is equivalent to the amount of information we processed one day in 2023. That's such a big difference.

And there hasn't been enough time for our bodies to biologically evolve to a place where we can adjust and take on that much information. So, you know, because there's been so much technological change, it's a small period of time. And because we have so much access to information in a way that's really new to us, our bodies just aren't caught up and prepared to know how to handle this. This is why I think really bringing a dedicated and intentional practice of stillness and creating boundaries from all that information is so necessary to tap back into that nature's intelligence. So for me, it usually it started with a few hours a day away from my phone, a couple hours away from my phone. And then it became these tech sabbaths, tech sabbaths. Yeah. Where I would do Friday at sundown until Saturday at sundown, no phone.

And this requires a little bit of planning around plans and, you know, other things you might use your phone for. But I started to notice that in these little windows where I was breaking away from my devices and all that contact and information, I was getting a little information, I was getting. I was getting these moments of clarity, these downloads. So I started to extend it into little trips. I would do a weekend, you know, maybe two or three nights away, phone off the whole time, rent a little Airbnb or camp out somewhere, ideally somewhere in nature. And then those downloads would get bigger and clearer. So it's almost like if meditation is at maybe like the base or like the simplest level of how we create that stillness and space,

I started to look at how I could extend beyond meditation into these little mini lifestyle change. for a day or a couple days, eventually I started doing them for a week. What I have found is that when I really am looking for clarity, you know, when I'm really looking for a decision, or if I'm just feeling really fried in my head broken down, when I can create those boundaries from communication and technology and then go be in nature in some capacity and let myself just be in the space, the clarity starts to come in. So how we can incorporate that in many ways, if it's a five-minute mindfulness practice to these more intense, you know, eight-day getaways or like the silent retreat that you're going to be doing, anywhere in between that, I think,

is so valuable for the world that we live in today. Yeah, man, we just live in a world that's so much stimulus. And, you know, I personally have the desire not to just have a practice of meditation, but to have my presence become meditative. And I feel like that comes equally not just what you do, but also what you don't do. And so we live in a world where there is so much stimulus and we have a phone in our pocket 99% of the time where there's just so much noise. And so I think it's important to develop a practice where you can get quiet, but then also like you spoke to cultivate an environment that is conducive to not having so much confusion in your life, which comes from the noise. That's right.

And so like, yeah, you spoke to like clarity is just here. It's there. And we just have to remove what's in the way of it, which is the noise. That's it. I'm curious actually to ask you because I've always been so moved by the way that you left the job that you were doing, right, working for a major public figure and then made the space to start to pursue your own path at a really young age. I mean, you were significantly younger than me. What was your relationship to intuition and taking that leap when you were, you know, so early on in your career? Yeah, man. I mean, it's very similar to you into where there's a, I found comfort in the, walls of the castle that I was so, you know, it's comfortable. You live this nice lifestyle with, you know, with money and celebrities and a chef and a maid. And ultimately, it's under

somebody else's infrastructure, right, and enterprise. And it was beautiful for, you know, I went into that system and to that ecosystem, really, because I saw the potential for impact with supporting, you know, Logan at the time. And there comes a point when your comfort zone becomes your discomfort zone. And then you have to choose which pain. Do you want the pain of regret or the pain of discipline? You know, the pain of staying where you're at because it's comfortable, but you know there's a part of you that wants to come online that you're not expressing, you know, or the alternate. For me, it wasn't really a choice at a certain point. And I knew that I wanted to step into this work and share a message of consciousness. And that's always been a theme. And so it's just a natural

maturation process. And I think it's important for everybody that's listening to be patient with yourself and to give yourself space to realize that no one's an overnight success, you know, that there's many, many years of evolution and data collection and experiencing what you don't want to then experience what you do want. And then comes the point where you do make that jump. And as Terrence McKenna says, you curl yourself into the abyss and realizes a feather bed. You know, where there's just so much uncertainty in the unknown, but like life has got you. And especially when you make decisions to move in a path of a lot. alignment, life conspires. The universe orchestrates in ways you can't even comprehend to assist you in

that. And I fully believe that. And man, for you starting to make those changes in those pivots where you're starting to cultivate the meditation practice, have a better relationship with technology, then all of a sudden, out of the blue, opportunities present themselves that are in more alignment. And so what did you start to see come into your reality as you started to step into having more clarity within your life and following that gut intuition, what started to become available to you in opportunity and relationships and connections and how eventually you started to be quiet and we go from there. It really ties into what you just said about your own journey and that leap that you took. I really believe that there's something about taking that leap, right? In this case,

leaving a career that no longer felt like it was fulfilling and leaping into what was next, not knowing what was next. There's something about that that signals to the universe or greater power. It says, I don't know exactly what's happening here, but I trust you. And my belief in what I see consistently is when I honor that, when I follow that deeper gut and I take that leap and show the greater power that I trust it, there's a reward for courageously jumping. Yeah. And it's just like what you said. And it's one of these things that kind of goes beyond science, at least as far as I can

comprehend. I see it consistently when I courageously take those, when I take those leaps and my body is really pulled. There's a feeling of expansion in my chest to go and do that thing. And when I honor it, what unfolds is really special. So for me, what I started to see was that by making that leap, things were happening and unfolding and coming in that I could have never planned for. I didn't leave my record label thinking that I wanted to start a company that was really designed around gathering thousands of people to meditate.

I mean, that was never in my, at least I wasn't aware of it, you know, at any point. And I believe that the idea for the Big Quiet ultimately, you know, kind of came through me. It actually came during a meditation. You know, I think that there was something that kind of came down and was like, it wasn't necessarily my idea. It was something that came through me. and it just felt so clear that it was a need that people were hungry for. So I just did experiments. That's really what it was. Like how the big quiet came to life was through experimenting.

And there was no attachment at that time to their needing to be a business around it, which I was fortunate to be able to do because I had a few months of runway of savings from my previous career. Not that much, actually. It was in many ways what we were building before was a startup. So I didn't have that much funding for this leap. But I had a little bit of space where I could say, all right, let me just experiment and not put pressure on myself to have it be a business.

So for me, my experiments were paying attention to what people really wanted. So what I saw was that when we were doing these little meetups in my buddy's apartment to get quiet, meditate and talk about real stuff, people really lit up by it. And at the end of each one of our little meetups, I would take five minutes just to ask the room, what worked, what landed, what would you like to see done differently? How can we really mold and shape this community together? And I just always listen to that feedback. And as the events grew, and it didn't make sense to ask for that type of feedback at our meetups,

we'd send a little feedback for them, you know, a little email to everybody that attended. And just, you know, a couple questions, just listening to what the needs were. And the more we got clarity on what people really needed, the more I was able to look at how my gifts and the things that felt expansive and exciting could serve those needs. That was kind of like the magic formula, right? This is the need. This is what my gifts are to bring that need to life. Boom.

If I tried forcing what the needs were with something that didn't feel exciting to me, it really wouldn't get that magic. But if it involved the things that really lit me up, the really cool things would unfold. So first we just saw more and more people. You know, the first meetup was maybe 18. people and then it was 30 and we were doing it every month right and then it was 40 and then you know we had hundreds of people showing up we started the big quiet as a way um to really extend the

experience to the city the city at large it was living in new york at the time and after we did the first big quiet at central park every other big quiet from there the partners the venues some of these incredible places that came to us Oprah all of it just came to us it was all inbound we did no outreach. It was so interesting. Madison Square Garden, you know, one of the great arenas in the world, which I always dreamed of having our bands play at. Cold emailed the big quiet, you know, hi at the big quiet.com email account asking if we wanted to host the first ever mass meditation at the arena, the kind of stuff that I just couldn't, you know, comprehend. But I think that we were really aligned with what the need was. And as we followed it, more and more stuff just came in.

So the big quiet just started to grow. More and more people meeting up, gathering up, gathering. mass meditations, meaningful conversations, working with cool musicians. And then we started touring the Big Quiet and the way that we used to tour bands. I was able to take my past love for the music industry and for working with music talent and apply it to this unique thing that we were doing with mass meditations. So they kind of started to come together. And it just grew from there. Yeah.

There's so many beautiful things in what you just shared, man. And a lot just really resonates with me in my own path because, you know, you look at nature. Nature is abundance. There is so much abundance within nature, unless man has come and deforested. But if you look at nature, it's inherently abundant. When you tap into your own intelligence within your guts intelligence and you allowed to see and discover what wants to come through you, not just from you and from the ego and from the mind, but what wants to come through you, then you become in alignment with abundance. And so I think a lot of people like you spoke to try to force, figure out, you know, they're the past. and what you're speaking to is by finding alignment. And oftentimes it takes a lot of experience of not being in alignment. But those gifts do transfer over.

Like you spoke to being able to run the record label and understanding music gatherings and bringing people together and formed your ability to combine that gift with your desire for bringing people and bringing mass meditations to people. And then also it fits something that the world needs. And when those kind of come together, that's really where the magic happens. And then those opportunities like you spoke to come in ways that you can never have imagined. And it'll surprise you in ways that you can never have imagined. And that's what is just so exciting because you're at one kind of with the mystery of how life is unfolding instead of this like projection of trying to figure it out the whole way.

And it becomes a much more fruitful way to live life, man. And so as you start to attune yourself with this abundance, you know, this abundance frequency, because that's really what you're doing in my eyes. You're allowing what wants to come through you to come through you. There's no longer this ego identity that is stopping the flow of life. Well, I will respond to it. I don't want to get you off track though. No, that's good.

I was just going to lead into now coming to the place where you're actually like the evolved version of the big mass meditations. I would just be curious for you to share how Oprah came into the picture, what it was like to then go to the place where you're going. on tour and doing these huge, huge mess meditations. Cool. Yeah, I actually think what I was going to chime in with is a good segue into that, which I'll get to in one second.

I guess the thing that I always like to make clear and I think it's important to make clear is when we're talking about the journey into the big quiet and this magic and the growth and the cold emails from Madison Square Garden, it was really exciting, really special. But there was this other side to it that I think is so important to also speak to, which was how afraid I was for so much of the journey because there were so much of how I was raised, and I think this is true for so many of us.

It's like, you know, go to school, maybe go to college, you get a job, you figure out what your thing is, you have the family, you get the house, the car, you retire, grandkids die, right? Something like that. It's like this, there's this really kind of, linear path that we're told is is the way to do things. And I think for those of us, and I'm sure this is true for a lot of the listeners too, those of us that decide to break off that path,

go start something new, pursue a career or a passion that doesn't line up with what our families might understand business to be. Shout out to anybody who, you know, at Thanksgiving, tries to explain what they do for a living and they just nobody gets it. it can be really isolating. It can be really challenging to go and do something different, especially when it seems like everybody else has got it figured out like we see on social media. And we have the people we can look up to or the people that we look to that have maybe a more traditional career and their earning steady income and kind of following that path.

It can just be really easy to feel like we're alone in the journey and to question. And that was the thing that was so painful for me for so many of the early years of the Big Quiet. was the questioning, is this the right thing? Am I going to be able to make a living doing this? What will people think of me? I went from running a sexy record label. Now I organize meditations. It's weird. There was there was so much along the path that I think was actually really important. And I think it's actually part of what's necessary as we evolve on the unconventional path. is we, I think it's actually really important to go through the self-doubt,

to go through the questioning, to go through some of the pain and the isolation, and then to come back to, oh yeah, this is why I do this thing. Because this is what I'm on this earth to do, because this is what people need. Because I'm not willing to do it the way that everybody else

or so many other people say is the way to do it. Right? We go from forgetting that deeper purpose and that deeper connection to abundance and then we remember it. And the more we go from forgetting, to remembering, forgetting to remember, the more the remembering of, oh, yeah, this is why I'm here.

It's to do this thing. It starts to last. So I'd just like to point that out because it wasn't just all, you know, puppies and butterflies on this journey, you know. There was a lot of great challenge there. And in the moments where I really gave myself the permission to just trust, to really just trust in the path is when the coolest things would come in. So I was in 2019 when I was in one of these trust periods, really just kind of believing and allowing trusting what was going to unfold, it was going to unfold as long, you know, we meant to be that we were on tour with the big quiet. We did a tent city tour. And we did a tour stop at the Museum of Natural History in Chicago in front of the largest discovered dinosaur fossil. It's like a hundred plus foot big dino. So we're doing

a mass meditation in front of it. I think the dinosaur's name is Sue. Shout out Sue. I think I'm pretty sure Sue. And Oprah's team had decided to come. They were based in Chicago. So a couple of their team members were there. Just one little simple thing like that, you know. Mel, who has shared this story publicly, who was one of Oprah's producers, was there.

And she had had a burrito right before the Big Quiet. And she said that she was experiencing pretty gnarly indigestion. came to the big quiet at our events, in addition to the mass meditation, oftentimes before we go quiet, I'll get quiet as the group. We do vocal toning, so we use our voices together. We make a lot of sound as a group, and then we go quiet. And after the event, Mel came up to me, and she was like, somehow between the vocal toning and the meditation,

you cured my burrito in digestion. And she liked it. And that's what led to her bringing it to Oprah and sharing it. with Oprah's team to consider this mass meditation experience for Oprah's 2020 Vision Tour, which was coming up in just a couple of months. So, you know, I was, I was then invited to be a part of one tour stop. It was going to be the New York Tour Stop in the middle of this 10-week tour. And I was so pumped for this. And they were a couple weeks away from the first tour stop happening when they told me, when Mel had told me that,

I had been removed from the show. And I was so bummed. It was going to be at Barclays, this big venue that we always kind of dreamed of doing the big quiet at, Oprah, this whole thing. So I was really bummed up, but Mel was like, look, I know it's not as sexy, but maybe I can get you into the first tour stop,

which is in Fort Lauderdale. And, you know, I'm thinking of myself, look, I'll take anything. Just to be a part of this would be really, really cool. But I was bummed. I wanted Barclays, but I was just open. Mel wound up, she told me she brought Oprah a ton of different things to consider for the launch of the tour in Fort Lauderdale. And Oprah liked this. She really liked the name. She really liked the concept. She's a big meditator herself. So they decided that they would book me to do a segment at the

first tour stop only where I would give a short talk about my story. meditation and the benefit of quiet like we're talking about, then guide a mass meditation. And then Oprah and I would do a segment together on stage talking about the power of quiet, which was a pretty, you know, awesome thing to consider. I was really quite nervous about it. And the first tour stopped happened. It was early January in 2020. And it went really great. You know, there was something about an arena. I think that one was 15,000 people in total silence for 10 minutes. that was just people hadn't really experienced something like that. And Oprah really liked the way that it worked into the flow.

And then a couple of days after that event, I said bye to everybody and kind of sent them on their way to go on tour. Oprah has produced her Mel called and asked if I would consider coming for the whole tour. So this thing that I was so bummed about kind of losing the New York opportunity led to this new opportunity, which wound up leading to the entire tour. And then we got to have this incredible. journey for 10 weeks bringing them out the big quiet experience to arenas throughout the U.S. It was pretty special.

Wow, man. It's so so beautiful just to hear even parts of the story that I hadn't even previously known. I think it's really important what you shared before that part, which is like the feeling, the fear and doing it anyways, the part where you get the bad news, but then it actually ends up to leading to better news. and the capacity to develop that trust within us comes just through doing it a lot, right, and experiencing the highs and the lows and trusting that our life and our path is going to unfold for us. And I think there's many points. And I'm curious for you to hear your relationship

with imposter syndrome because when you get those big opportunities that come into your life, then it's time to show up. It's like, all right, I'm going to stand in front of 15,000 people and I'm a meditation teacher? Like, you know, what was that experience like and dealing with the difficulties of being who you say you are and who you want to be and showing up in a way of service and how have you been able to kind of get yourself out of the way

in those scenarios? I remember it was the night before the first tour stop of the Oprah tour. Probably the largest meditation that I had guided before was a couple thousand people, so pretty big. But that's nowhere close to 15,000. with Oprah, you know, and I was so excited and lit up and also had some of that energy of like, oh my God, I can't believe it's happening, that kind of a vibe. And one of my mentor, Johnny Pollard,

who was in Australia, I was talking to him the night before. And he gave me such great input. He said to me, he said, give yourself the rest of the night and into the morning to like have that energy of freaking out, oh my God, I'm on torth over to have that thing. And then before the event starts, start to shift into the attitude of, of course this is happening. I put in the work for this to happen. I've been following that need and following those downloads to continue to be of service in this way. Of course, it's unfolding into something at this scale. I'm meant to be doing this. I've put in a lot of work to be here. So that input of shifting from, oh my God, I can't believe it to just like yeah of course this is a it grounded me it brought me into this place of remembering

that this is this is my path yeah and what i find when i before i'm gonna before i go on stage for a big event or a big keynote or a mass meditation when i notice nerves coming up or fear coming up and i think all that stuff's natural i'll often time or the imposter syndrome stuff for sure i i'll I will pause and I'll check in with where that fear or nervousness or discomfort is coming from before going on stage, before public speaking. And most of the time, it's coming from some type of a concern around how people will perceive me. What will they think?

Will I impress them? Will they think I'm a big goofball? They think I'm a phony, right? Will they want to roll their eyes? Right? So much of that discomfort before going on stage comes from how I'm going to. be perceived. And in those moments when I can see that, lovingly, I'll remind myself, I don't go, I don't do this thing to be seen a certain way. I don't get on stage to give a talk or to guide

a mass meditation so that people can think a certain way of me. I do this because what I'm going to do on stage, the practice of meditation or the story I'm going to share is going to help somebody. and I do this to be of service to the community. So those that will like it and find meaning in it or it might lead to action for them will. And those that don't fuck with it or think of whatever of me are going to. That's okay. I'm doing this because of the people that are here to get value out of what I have to say or what I have to guide. When I can bring myself back to that place and just trust that that's really ultimately

all it is. It's like all that concern around what people will think of me or the judgment around myself melts away. It goes back into service. Yeah, man, I think that just eases all the tension there because like you said, you spoke to you. The worry and fear is coming from a fear of perception about yourself. And when it's not about you, but who you get to serve, then it's like, okay, let me just be a conduit. Let me just show up to be of service. And the anxiety will dissolve. And I think that it can still show up, right? Of course. It still does.

Anybody who's in the public light, anybody who's sharing in a bigger way on bigger stages in front of cameras, whatever it is, it's like a continual check-in and like easing that part of yourself that is scared. And for whatever reason, wherever that stems from and you can dive into that. And I think the more you do it, the less frequent it is. But also the bigger your light shines, it'll be a new level of confrontation within yourself of seeing, you know, and checking in where that point is. has there been any moments where on the flip side like also your ego has gotten in the way of it

because when you go from this guy who wants to support people finding quiet within themselves and now you're the guy who's who's leading big quiet meditations and selling out these arenas and doing these you know you're on tour with Oprah has there been any part where you're like that swagger was a little bit too much and you're like it got to your head a little bit This is about you and not who you get to serve? Absolutely. Man, I got smashed after that tour. You know, that tour, those 10 weeks were so incredible.

And the amount of inbound stuff that was coming in my way was so exciting. And the last tour stop was March 7th, 2020. So I had finally made my name as the mass meditation guy. five days later the pandemic kicks in the last thing that anybody wants to fuck with is a mass anything nothing bad nothing mass mask is okay not exactly exactly so you know at that point i'd spent five plus years building up these mass meditations and the big quiet and within a week of the oprah tour being done it was something that nobody wanted to do or consider yeah and on top of that all of the income, all of these kind of inbound opportunities, the keynotes, the speaking

gigs, the events, the working with brands, all of these things were in-person experiences. That's what I really built my craft in. All of that got canceled within about a week. So I went from this career peak and a huge, huge blast of my ego and identity just feeling like the meditation man to everything getting wiped out. And then on top of that, of course, there's the discomfort. and fear for a lot of people on what was happening. Yeah.

The pandemic. And I wound up living with my parents for the next five months. And, you know, going from staying at the Ritz, flying around first class, drinking little champagne on the opera tour, to, you know, living back in my high school bedroom, having my mom cut my hair, you know, and not really knowing what I was going to do for work next, that was a really big smash for me. And, you know, when I started to kind of get my feet back on the ground and really started to focus on, all right, well, how can I be of service through virtual? Didn't light me up as much, but like, let me explore this.

I finally got my shit together. I moved out of my parents' place. You know, I moved into this new home and the canals of Venice Beach in California. And I set up this work from home virtual studio where I could where I could get back into doing these big events, but virtually. And I started getting booked for them and, you know, lots of people showing up online. I'm getting back in my groove. And I was noticing that when I was giving my talks and speaking about meditation and, you know, the power of what this practice does for our brains, I'm losing my train of thought while I'm speaking.

I'm guiding meditations and totally forgetting what I'm saying. And this weird thing is happening where talking about mental clarity and my brain is getting is feeling very, very off. Then it starts to get worse. And I'm experiencing violent anger, breaking things, right? I'm thinking to myself, I'm the meditation guy. I'm fucking breaking things behind the scenes, what's going on. Break my hand.

I'm so angry. Smashing something. Panic, the feeling of panic starting to rise back up in my body. I hadn't felt that since my music industry days. And then I'm getting booked to go on national TV to talk about how to be well in the pandemic. And I didn't know what was going on, but this imposter syndrome sensation was the worst that it had ever been. People thought of me as the Oprah big quiet mass meditation guy who's got it all figured out with his mind and his mental tools. And I felt further away from my connection to my brain and myself probably than ever before.

And I distinctly remember leading to this meal that I had with my mom where I just broke down crying to it. her. This is like August 2021. And I said to her, mom, people think of me as this mindfulness expert. And I really think I'm losing my mind. And that just the confusion of that was so challenging. I wound up learning that I was I was exposing myself to toxic black mold. That's, it was in behind the walls, in the room where I had set up my virtual meditation broadcast studio. And I didn't know much about mold at the time. We don't have to get too much into it. I'm not crazy about talking about mold, but the kind of mold that I was exposed to is can have significant and sometimes permanent neurological damage. It's linked to various types of cancer. It really has significant cognitive impairment.

So it was one of these at the time very painful, ultimately really important teachers for me because it just so happens that all of the symptoms of toxic mold exposed. are literally the opposite of all the benefits of meditation and the thing that all of these people were coming to hear me talk about. And it sent me that that sense of imposter syndrome and that sense of confusion sent me to a pretty dark place. The dialogue that I was telling myself was that my career is done and that it's just a matter of time until I get figured out. I'd been able to fool people for five, six years that I was this meditation guy. I'm really just a phony. My brain's never going to get better. I'm such a big believer in we find evidence

for what we choose to believe that our thoughts create our reality. And I was so far from my own teachings because everything I was focused on was my career going down. And sure enough, I just started to watch that unfold. You know, just the opportunities to get booked for the TV spots and the virtual gigs and to be able to teach people and do my private work and all these things, it just, it all just slowed down. And the more it slowed down, the more I told myself I was fucked. And the more I told myself I was fucked, the shittier I felt about myself. And the further away I got from my own practice. And the more I pushed away from community. And my romantic partnership ended. And I was living with my parents again. And just a year and a half ago, I was on tour

with Oprah. So that was really, really challenging. For all of my adult life, my sense of happiness was almost always tied to external things. How work was, what was going on with work? How big were the venues we were getting booked at for the big quiet? Or what was going on in my relationships or romantic partnerships, right? Or things with friends. If things outside of me were going well, I felt well. When things outside of me started to get bumpy, I would feel shitty about myself. That had been my pattern. So here I was, it was only about a year ago from right now, I reached this low point where all of the things outside of me were literally at a complete standstill. Like I'm talking nothing was happening with work or the big quiet. Nothing was happening in my romantic life. I fully pulled away from friends. total stillness. You know, it's actually the thing that I always talk about and teach,

but I was faced with total stillness. And for me, you know, no motion in the ocean. I was, you know, panicking. It was so, it was so scary to be in that place, finally to be in that place. And I had to reach that low point of my identity, just getting, you know, so rung out. And my sense of self-worth hitting such a rock bottom for me to realize that if I continued on in the way that I'd always had, which was like waiting for the next cool thing with work to happen to feel better about myself again, if I continued on this path, this would just continue to be my life pattern. And instead, there was a choice that I could make, which was to choose to find the goodness and the things that could create a sense of happiness or joy that were inside of me,

that were just based on who Jesse is in the world, that were just based on the things like who might having access to family and friends and great food and being able to have the sun come down on my body that I had shelter over my head, that I actually was quite healthy, even though my recovery from old was taking a while. I just started this practice.

I felt like I actually didn't really have a choice, but I did. But I started this practice where every morning when I would wake up, it's usually when I felt my most anxious and my shittiest. instead of focusing on how everything was going terribly, I would get up, look in the mirror, which was tough because I looked like a moldy, crusty guy, you know, bloodshot eyes. And I would look myself in the eyes and I would, as cheesy as it was,

three things I was grateful for, three things I could celebrate about myself or that I was proud of. One small thing that I could do that day, that would create a sense of joy for me. And that just became my focus. Instead of focusing on what wasn't there, I focused on the good that was there. And as kind of wellness, cliche story as it sounds,

that muscle of enthusiastic gratitude, love for myself, celebration, sense of self-worth, right? Choosing to cultivate those things, those muscles, just started to build up. And after a couple months, I'd experienced something for the first time, which I was able to feel a sense of joy and a sense of inner happiness,

while nothing was happening with work or kind of romance or things outside of me. I was able to still feel happy without those things occurring. And that was such a new phenomenon for me to have experience. And the more I continued to cultivate that, then the quicker my health kind of rebounded, then these new work opportunities and new downloads started to come to me. And I think it was this really kind of painful way. to become more embodied in a thing that I always taught, but wasn't fully connected.

I wasn't fully connected to my teachings with the Big Quiet because there was this part of me that was still so attached to the identity of being the founder of the Big Quiet. It needed to be fully pulled away from me to understand that there's so much more to it than that. Man, so powerful. Thank you for like vulnerably sharing and authentically like the real raw parts of that story because I think that's going to be very impactful for people that can just feel the sincerity in which you're speaking of like the difficult contraction on the other side of the blissful expansion of like experiencing your light in such a big way in the career and the relationship

everything's moving and then the opposite when I feel like the physical opposite manifestation in an object is black mold you think of black mold it's like the complete opposite of knowing yourself through meditation you know and the mold was an incredible teacher for you because a healthy man has a thousand wishes and desires, a sick man has one, and that's to be healthy. And you really got clarity on what you value most in your life and like the shift of placing your external worth and external happenings and trappings to just being present with what's a lot, like what's around you. And it's one of those things that you can always say, have gratitude for what you have and all the things, but it brought you down to the visceral real experience

where you had to embody that. Otherwise, you would not get well. And I think that, in an of itself allows you, since you've experienced the full spectrum now in a deeper, deeper way, it makes you more relatable. And actually, your capacity to help others has expanded because you've actually gone into those energies and those frequencies that you definitely did not want to be in the moment. But now that you have that under your tool belt, you can speak to people with experience. And that's where real wisdom comes in instead of just saying, you know, these intellectual things that sound good but aren't really embodied, once you've lived it, you can speak from it and speak with the energy of how to actually move through it because you've gone through it.

And so, man, what a powerful framework and understanding. And I'm so happy that you're feeling better now. Oh, bro. Thank you. Thank you for all those reflections, too. It feels so good to hear that. And, you know, it reminds me of one of the messages that I often return to when it comes to leadership or teaching is experience is always first. Knowledge is second. And specifically,

knowledge, we can read a book, we can watch podcasts, we can get great information and that knowledge is valuable. But ultimately, having the lived experience of what we want to be able to teach and help people with is ultimately what it's about. And I appreciate your reminder of that. And I think it's an important thing for listeners to hear as well. because it's so easy when we're experiencing those heavy moments, those dark moments, those moments, those moments are like, why the fuck is this happening to me? It's so easy to not have the bigger perspective of this is happening for me for an important reason. This is, this is, this is shaping me into the person that I'm meant to be to go and do what I'm going to do next in

the world. So yeah, so I really appreciate that reflection. Yeah, man. I think it's so difficult in the moment to hear it, but from somebody that has gone through the experience, and you can attest to this, that for those that are listening right now that maybe have gone through a big injury, something with their health, a disastrous relationship that ended, something to where it's like a really perceivable, shitty experience, being able to find who you are, even amongst the chaos that is happening is going to be the most valuable experience. The diamond is forged in the fire, you know, of that experience. It's like the analogy of the blue sky that is clouded by the weather, but whatever the weather is, you understand that there is a larger context in which the weather is happening.

And that if it's a happy day, it's a sunny day, it's a rainy day, it's hailing, whatever it is, that is just the experience of the moment and who you are encompasses the experience. And once you tap into that place of who you actually are, then you can be happy and content amongst whatever emotion is happening in your life. and from that place, that becomes an authentic embodied experience. And now I can't even imagine the level of impact that you're going to have with meditation, with your story, with shining your light from this new level of embodiment. Thank you, brother. Yeah. Thank you so much.

Yeah, man. So good, bro. So for those that are struggling to like when you first started out on your path of like actually being able to create a habit through meditation, how do you suggest other people to practice, is to find this as an actual consistent tool in their daily reality to build a habit with it and to make it a consistent thing because a lot of people get discouraged when they first try to meditate. And it's often because they don't have proper guidance. They don't have understanding of what the actual process of meditation is.

And both of us firsthand experience the profound level of depth that comes through a consistent meditation journey and practice. So how do you guide people to actually cultivate that within their life on a consistent basis? The first thing that I like to remind people of is that, you know, we have this kind of cultural misconception that to be good, air quotes, good at meditation means that we're able to silent our mind. We're able to stop ourselves from thinking. And so a lot of people think that this is ultimately what meditation's about. So when people sit down and practice and their mind's wandering, which is how our brains are

designed to always be thinking, people think that meditation is not for them. It's the thing I hear most. I've tried meditation. I suck at it. It's not for me. So what I like to remind people of is that that's how our brains work, especially those of us that are not living as monks. We're living in modern cities, modern suburbs, right?

Our brain's new thought every six seconds or so, right? So we've got a lot happening in the brain. And thinking during meditation doesn't mean that we're bad at meditation. It doesn't mean that we're doing it wrong. It's actually a really important part of the process. Now, different types of meditations. in styles of meditation, we'll talk about different ways to address and be with thoughts. But overall, what I remind people of is, it's okay that you're thinking when you're practicing.

That doesn't mean that you're a bad meditator just means you're a human. So that permission, I think, is really important to remind people of that. The second thing is, I just think it's really important to start simple. And, you know, when I read the book, The Power Habit by Charles Deweig and he talks about the habit formation loop, I was really moved by this concept, and it's a relatively popular concept and habit formation, which is look at something that already happens within your current life, your current routine. Something that's regularly there. It's referred to as a cue. Identify that cue and slide your meditation practice into right after that cue.

So for me, the way that I built it up, and I also often work with people to help them build up their practices, what's a morning cue, like a first thing in the morning type of cue, something that's already happening. That can be your cue to do the practice. For a lot of people, it's they use the bathroom first thing in the morning. When they leave the bathroom, when they step out of the bathroom, that's the cue to sit down and practice. I like to encourage people to practice for just a few minutes a day at the start. I started three minutes a day. Every morning after I left the bathroom, I'd sit on my couch three minutes. So that cue looks different. For some people, it's when the alarm goes off and they just slide up in bed and they do their three minute practice right there. For some people,

it's right after they walk the dog, right? Whatever that already existing thing is, keep it simple. And if someone's really, really dedicated, really wants to learn, I can't recommend this one little simple piece enough. And it's to put your phone into airplane mode or do not disturb before you go to sleep. And when you wake up in the morning, don't check your phone and all the notifications and everything that's happening in the world coming into your bed with you. Put a little space on checking the phone. Get your few minute practice of meditation in. And once the practice is done, then check your phone. Not only will it greatly enhance the meditation and the practice, it will also create just a way stronger foundation for how to move into the day. Yeah. Powerful, man. That's that like

momentum that you can start to build when you find that cue and you start to sit with it. Once you started to experience the benefits of like a meditation practice and how it really just lightens your experience of life, then it becomes something that you can actually have the desire to continue to deepen. And you can make your meditations longer and you start to experience more. And like that upward spiral is such a beautiful thing to have a felt reality. But it comes with first taking those baby steps. So wherever somebody, whoever is listening to this, wherever you're at in your journey, maybe even, you know, an experienced meditator for many, many years or you're just starting out.

allow this to be an invitation to make baby steps into like a deeper sense of that meditative experience. And for me, I personally love immersive experiences. Being able to like do a silent retreat or be able to go into a three or four or five day experience to where you really immerse yourself in the understanding of something. And there's so many incredible programs and courses and things that people can take online. I think are also really, a really incredible modality and way to just to understand how the practice practices work, how to really immerse yourself in the experience, and that can become the catalyst to having the shift be like long lasting. Yeah, I agree.

When we can do a deep dive or something that can really kind of give us that big push at the start, it's awesome. And that's available for some people, for people that's not available, just simple meditation apps. The one that I love to plug, which is free, is called One. giant mind. So not immersive. It is, you know, it is on the phone. But it's a great, it's just a great starting point, an easy way to move in. And then for people that do have access to immersive experiences, retreats, or they can work with teachers, awesome way to move it forward.

Yeah. How did you start? I started, I just started with a vassana. I just like full sent. You just went all in silent retreat. Yeah. I had a couple of experiences with this guy who was like a sixth ascendant from the Sheldon temple. And like he had like a couple like meditations that he led at these events that I went to. But I just felt this big shift before moving out to LA that I wanted to find like a deeper level of alignment. And what I was creating shifting from this kind of affiliate marketing like business oriented entrepreneurship world. And there's parts of that I still really love and enjoy my life and my business. But there is a deeper sense of calling that I felt like I was being pulled out here outside of just the weather.

people, the opportunity in California. But I felt like the Vipassan was going to be a big shift. So I'm somebody that is, I just love to push the boundaries and edges of my own consciousness and to see what I'm made of. And whether that's going in the darkness retreat or 10 days, silent things, just like, I know I'm going to be alive on the other side of it. So I'm sure it'll be a fruitful experience. You know, I think with what you're doing with the Big Quiet is so incredible for like having

two hours in an evening where you can go and immerse yourself and do an expensive thing. So we live in a time where there's just so much, there's so much possibility in how you can dip your, put your toe in the water or dive head first or whatever you're comfortable with. For me, I'm just a little bit more kooky. I like to dive head first. That's why we're buddies. That's why we're buddies. My guy. Speaking of being my guy, I think community has been something that's been so valuable in both of our lives. It's like the power of friendships to share reflections and be together like you spoke to.

humanity has grown in tribes and being in close proximity to people. And we are on one hand, the most connected we've ever been, but also on one hand, the most disconnected we've ever been because we're not having real in person as much intimate, you know, one-on-one connections with individuals. And so we both value community a lot. It's been so beautiful for our paths. And so how has the power of community shifted you to know yourself deeper and allow you to become more happy, fulfilled, expressed human? It's been so critical. You know, when I think about accessing joy and being happy in the world today,

I feel like there are kind of two key components. One is the component of self-work. Meditation fits into that. The other is the component of social work, which is how we show up in community, how we show up with others, right? These two pieces, how we go inwards, how we go outwards, so critical. And we've talked a lot about my love for the inward stuff. You know, I love having my solo practices.

I love having my experiences where I can be, you know, by myself. My tendency is if I don't really actively push into the social component, then I'll stay away. And then it starts to kind of eat me up. And what I've found is that I have to give myself little nudges, little pushes. for me to stay socially active. And then I feel most like Jesse. And the way that personally, I have found that to be most helpful is by organizing.

You know, I find that like the community leadership role, and I believe that anybody's capable of this, anybody. The community leadership role is the one that feels best for me. So I love clubs. You know, I started my all my kind of experiments and experience with community started with a cheeseburger club. You know, I was 10 guys. This was when I was in my early 20s.

Ten of us, we would get together every other week and eat a burger at a new place in the five boroughs in New York. And it was essentially 10 buddies who, because we had this frequency to gather, and look, the reason for it was burgers. But what was happening was we were going through life together, talking about real stuff. It's actually kind of like my first experience with men's groups. it became this opportunity to be vulnerable, to live life with each other, to feel supported. I was really lonely living in New York until the Burger Boys, that's what we called ourselves, came to light. And what we started to see was that there was so much good energy from having regular gatherings like that

and doing something so simple, letting the burger be the reason to come together, that people were like kind of fascinated by it. People would always ask us about it. And then we had chapters that started opening up in other areas. We had a Tumblr, if you remember, tumblers. And then we had chapters opening up in Europe and in the West Coast and, you know, just these burger clubs that were coming to life to bring people together. And, you know, we reached a point where eating burgers together, you know, you could only do it based on how big the table could be, you know, how big the reservation could be.

And I was really hungry to experience the same type of connection with more people. So I started a bite club called the Cyclones. in my mid-20s. And the idea there was, if you have a bike, we'll meet up, we'll go on an adventure. I'd always keep the destination of surprise until people arrive. And it became this other way to connect. Super simple. We're just riding bikes together.

But people falling in love, people getting engaged, people starting businesses, all meeting through these rides where you can go on an adventure, connect with somebody new, have this shared sense of accomplishment. So for a while, I was actually, for a while, my kid. keynote was about community leadership and how anybody can step up and extend an invite to at least one or two other people to create that sense of connection around shared permission, which is usually, you know, it's anything from sitting to meditate to eating a burger, you know, to going on bike rides. And I'd see really cool stuff, you know, come out of doing those talks. One of the things I would do

when I do that keynote is I would invite groups to break up and to talk about clubs that they'd want to start around their passions. You know, I remember at Google doing this talk and the scary movie club popped up and a bunch of the employees would come together every other week to watch a scary movie and, you know, just finding these simple ways to gather. So it can be really simple. And in doing so, it creates the space for people to just be human with each other. And like you said, it's the thing that I think we, the thing that it's the thing that I think

we crave most is that sense of togetherness and to feel seen and heard by us. others. And the calling right now is for people to step up like you do so beautifully with your gatherings to invite people in because people are just waiting for the invite. They're just waiting for the permission to go there. Yeah. Just having the insight or the desire to just bring people together, like that one thought and then actually acting on it and bringing people together, I find is something like you spoke to that so many people crave and are excited to experience once it's there. And it just takes somebody pushing the first domino. So yeah, that's it. Yeah. That's a beautiful invitation for whoever's listening to think of what you would want

to bring together people. And it doesn't have to be this crazy thing that you brand and create a business around. Like, don't overcomplicate it. Just like get your friends together and go do something. Nacho club. Let's go. Nacho club. Vegan nacho club. Burger boys. Amazing, man. What has been your journey with like confidence? I feel like you're a very confident dude. Whether it's like playing pony on piano or the other night during Allie's birthday, your little performance, man. But like, I don't know. I feel like also people will have shared reflections like you just, you're a confident

man. Even though those periods are, I'm sure you didn't feel like that. Yeah. What has been your experience and journey with that. Wow, what a great question, man. First of all, thank you for seeing that. I don't always feel that way. but I think that a big part of what has helped me move through the things that are not like confidence, right?

Like fear, nervousness, discomfort, self-doubt. For me, I find that making sure that I'm being vulnerable and I have the people or the spaces to talk about that more painful internal dialogue, right? Having the groups or the people where I can talk about the real stuff, the not-confident stuff. I think allows me to feel more confident. You know, I think that I consistently see, and I know you see this too, if I can be with other people and be real about my experience, and they can do the same thing. And then there's that connection that comes from vulnerability.

There's that sense of belonging that occurs when you realize, oh, shit, we're all human just doing this thing together. That, to me, creates, I think, the greatest sense of confidence that we can have in the world. It's like, oh, yeah, we're just humans. It's just me. I'm just being me. This is just me. So, you know, I don't know if I would, if I would be, feel like I could have that, that type of level of confidence in the way that I show up in the world if I didn't also push myself to be vulnerable and have the people that I could be vulnerable with. So that's, you know, definitely a big part of it. And the other thing that, you know, I remind myself of, especially when it comes to social anxiety or, you know, confidence as we see it socially is if I notice. social anxiety or social discomfort coming up before I'm going to go to a party or an event or

something like that. I go back to that place like I mentioned before I'm doing a public talk where I just check in with myself and look at where it's coming from. A lot of the times if I'm feeling social anxiety, it's because I want to impress the group, right? I want I'm going to meet new people. I want them to think that what I do is cool. They're going to think that I am cool, right? A lot of that social anxiety comes from just wanting to be accepted and liked. So if I feel social anxiety coming up, I check in with myself, okay, I just want to be, I just want people to like me. I just want to impress people. Okay, that's it clear. Then I'll remind myself, that is not the best use of my energy. The best use of my energy is to just be myself and to know that

the people that like me or that want to connect with me or that I connect with them being myself are the people that I meant to connect with. And the people that don't like me, the people that you know, think my sword performances or my performances of pony or whack, that's okay. We're just, you know, we're not meant to, you know, be that level of connection right now. So when I can bring it back to, it's really just about being me. And by being me, I know that I'll connect with the people that I meant to. That's so liberating for me. So I think that that's a piece of where that confidence comes from as well.

And having those check-ins reminding myself of that. Yeah. I think that's just a powerful invitation for everybody just, you want. if you want to have an authentic experience of life where you're surrounded by people that are authentically themselves, then to be a match to that, you just have to embody that first. So like being who you are, that's it really. Your vibe attracts your tribe. You know, so cheesy, but it's cliche for a reason, you know. And so it's like, what vibe are you putting out? What vibration are you omitting? Because you're going to be an attract, you're going to attract that. If you're an

inauthentic version of yourselves, then you're going to attract an inauthentic expression of something that you're really not so stoked on in life and relationship and career and all the different things and i think finding alignment is a constant evolution you know it's like there's all these constant contraction and expansion when you think you're at a high of high in your life and career and then you get mold and then you have to learn this new lesson then okay you start to build back up and you have this new expansive career business insight relationship and it's like the budding blossoming wilting away of the flower that is a constant expression of life and for us to work out whatever our karma is in this life to learn the lessons we need to learn and become more

and more and more aligned version of ourselves. And then one day we wake up and the community around us is shining bright and we can be who we truly are without fear of judgment or criticism and the relationships that we have in our life are truly a match to what we want and our deepest values. And our career is something that is in alignment with the work that we really want to be doing that if we feel like as a service to the world and lights us up and it's our gifts, our passion, we love to do it. We're good at it. And that path of alignment in creating a life for ourselves that we're really excited for,

I think we've spoken into all the different avenues or a lot of them of how we've been able to find that and how it's a constant journey for us. But man, is there anything else that you want to touch on before we start to wrap this up? I feel complete. I loved having this combo with you, bro. Yeah, it was so good, man. Thank you so much. For people that can find you online, all links will be dropped down in the description below.

Is there anything that you want to point people to outside of whenever you go on the Big Quiet Tour next time? I highly recommend you guys check it out and follow Jesse on Instagram and anywhere else you want to point people towards. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah. My Instagram at Jesse Israel. My website, Jesse is real. Do a lot of keynote speaking work and I coach leaders in a one-on-one capacity.

So for people that are interested in that kind of work, give me a shout there. Amazing. Thank you, bro. For everybody that's been tuning in to this episode of the Know They Self podcast, thank you. Thank you for the curiosity to get quiet, find a path of alignment, live your truth. And hopefully the insights in this episode allowed you to do that just a little bit more. If they did, let us know with an insight, a revelation, a transformation. In the comment section below, we'd be curious to hear about that. And be sure to hit the subscribe button if you haven't already. Thank you for coming on this journey with us. Until next time, be well.

Love.