Know Thyself - E39 - Sophia Esperanza: Discovering Authenticity In a Fake World

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

Sophia Esperanza shares her healing journey of going from superficial glamour to authentic beauty. After years of modeling, Sophia began the process of re-discovering her true self. She underwent explant surgery, shaved her head, deleted her old instagram photos, and shifted her message to one of empowerment. Today, she explains what this process has looked like and how you too can go on this journey of self love. Her and André discuss kindness to self, embracing the imperfect, becoming sensitive to life, transcending self righteousness, and so much more.     ___________ Timecodes: 0:00 Intro 1:59 Sophia’s Journey to Coming Back to Self 17:40 What comes from Authenticity  24:41 Intellect vs Felt Experience  29:45 Creating a Nurturing Environment for Change 38:15 Kindness to Self 41:54 Embracing the 'Imperfect' 49:04 Advice on Your Healing Journey 59:19 Becoming Sensitive to Life 1:08:31 From Self Righteous to Awareness 1:22:38 Conclusion ___________ Sophia Esperanza:    Sophia Esperanza is an Animal Rights Activist, Earth-Steward and Artist. She worked as a model in the fast-fashion realm for years and decided to redirect her career to align with her true passion and ethos. She currently creates social media content aimed at inspiring others to embody their most authentic selves, and shares vegan recipes through her platform, Elbows on the Table.   Her food represents an art she's loved her entire life and her mission to create a more compassionate world. Currently, she is taking the next steps to create an animal sanctuary and farm on acres of Earth.   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sophiaesperanza/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sophiaesperanza Elbows on the Table: https://elbowsott.com   ___________   Know Thyself Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/ Website: https://www.knowthyself.one Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ4wglCWTJeWQC0exBalgKg   Listen to all episodes on Audio:  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4FSiemtvZrWesGtO2MqTZ4?si=d389c8dee8fa4026 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/know-thyself/id1633725927     André Duqum Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreduqum/   Meraki Media https://merakimedia.com https://www.instagram.com/merakimedia/

With social media, we just don't know the effects of being told 300 times on a picture a comment about our looks. It didn't take much for me to become different versions of myself in order to connect. I walked into a career of modeling and started to really grow my social media, not really realizing that that was my source of validation. I look at my body as this vessel. I've treated it like shit for such a long time. Right now in my life, it's really just a releasing of how I felt for so long on the

side to the outside because authenticity is a life's work if we have a hundred years in this body and this experience. I want to spend every second loving what I authentically am. And so I'm cherishing all of the rawness, all of the imperfections, which are absolutely perfect and celebrating every second that we have left of it because who knows how long we do. Hello, beautiful humans. Welcome back to the Know Thyself podcast for every single week. We get the and the privilege to sit down with a beautiful mind and open heart and somebody that can share their experience with us in this life to help us know ourselves deeper and deeper. My guest today is a dear friend, somebody who I really admire her path to authenticity,

which is going to be the theme of today's podcast. She is a former model, a content creator, somebody who, like I said, has been on this beautiful journey inwards. And I just really love her career. and bravery for being a stand for compassion and authenticity and for walking the walk and for being a voice for the voiceless. And I just can't wait to dive into today's conversation. So Sophia Esperanza, thanks for coming on the show. Thank you. Wow. Appreciate that. One intro. Yeah, of course. Stoked to be here. Yeah. It's been so cool to see. I mean, you've moved to Austin, you know,

not too long ago and getting to see more and more of this journey. inwards that you've been going on. How do you like summarize this chapter of your life where you've been removing a lot of the layers that you think are you to come back home into yourself? Butchooly. But truly. Honestly, I just feel like it's funny because when I speak to other people about kind of this journey and this chapter of my life right now, everyone just keeps bringing up Saturn return. And it's so interesting because I feel like a lot of people might assume.

based off of the way that I live my life or the beliefs that are outward. I would know a lot about astrology and so many things. And I have not dove into a lot of different mediums and modes of connection. And so it's, I don't know, I think it's just interesting to kind of see how it's being perceived versus how I'm feeling on the inside. And it really is matching up. I feel like I've kind of closed a third part of my chapter. And I'm just moving into this next wave with so much perspective and clarity to be able to,

I think for the first time in a long time, speak less and listen more. That's kind of how I would guess summarize everything right now. I've just been do for so long. And now I just want to, and I'm craving experiences where I can just be student and just absorb. Yeah. Yeah, to be like the most authentic version of ourselves, we first have to be able to pay attention to what's going on inside of us. And if there's so much noise outside of us and our accumulated beliefs of who we think we are, we're just kind of on this race wheel of continuing to be who we have been because it's familiar and comfortable and secure and all the

things, then it keeps us within our own bubble, which is not necessarily bad, but if we're seeking expansion, if we're seeking growth and to see who we truly are. And to see who we truly are to know thyself, then you've got to get quiet. And so it's beautiful that you've been speaking less and listening more. And what have you been hearing as you've been getting quieter? So many voices. I mean, I think there is that stigma too, right? Like you shave your head. You must be going absolutely crazy, a meltdown. And I've been really just rethinking what that can actually mean. Like maybe it's a melting down of all of these different layers versus just a meltdown. And we turn that into a beautiful thing.

And so I know from a lot of outside perspective, family, people around me, and definitely on social media, it's been kind of reverberated. Like, you know, you are going through this challenge and you should seek help and all of these things. And it's so funny that when you really start to walk to the beat of your own drum and you listen to your heart and you are in tune and getting closer to your truth, some people are really worried that you've kind of lost it. But really you're finding, you're not losing anything. You're just finding more and more. And so I think it's just a beautiful part.

And like you said, things can get so loud. And I think the first step for me in all of this, I could write down every single path that I've taken, every single action that I've done to really get to a place of more authenticity, but really it all starts with just pausing, quiet, listening, quieting the noise really, and removing a lot of external influences that just kind of crowd the mind. And I think instead of trying to find the answers, when you quiet the noise, you realize that they've always been speaking. It's always been there. It's just not able to be heard.

Yeah. What would you say was like one of the first dominoes for? for you because like your path and your career of being a model and like living in a world where a lot of your, I guess, validation success comes from appearance. So there's this shift from being overly focused on like, I guess our appearance of life, how we come off to others, what we look like to how do I feel? What's going on in the inside? And so when that shift happens, you actually start to have a much more joyous human experience. Maybe not immediately after you remove a lot of the shit that you've been holding on to. It's a little hard. It could be

And then it gets really fun. And it gets really your, my thought is like your raw dogging life. That's what came into my head just that. There's less of a barrier between you and nature and life around you. And it's very much like that analogy of it's you're more sensitive to life. So for you, what has been that journey and like what were the first kind of pivotal moments from you reclaiming that and like realizing that you've. valued your inner world more than just the external appearance and, you know, the life that you were living. Well, you just touched on a word and it was raw dogging? It was raw dogging.

What is the definition of raw dogging? But it's the sensitivity to it, right? And I think as children, we are so tapped in in so many ways. And I was really aware of my sensitivities growing up. And so were a lot of other people. And because they weren't. maybe welcomed with open arms at times, it made me kind of close up, go inward, and start to mask my entire life. I definitely didn't have the worst experience growing up by any means, but when you're really sensitive, it doesn't take the worst experience to just go, and so I feel like sometimes when I talk about my childhood or my story, people are like, oh, you didn't have it that bad. But when you're highly sensitive,

and the people around you are not super tapped into what that experience might be, the smallest thing can really just make you really fearful to be truthful and to connect and to share your heart. That's, you know, your heart on a plate. And if someone does one little ding, you just kind of put it back inward. And so I think it didn't take much for me to start to mask early on and to become different versions of myself in order to connect. All we want to do is connect and to be loved and to love. And so I started to find different modes of connection through many different things, through comedy, through drinking, alcohol, sex, gossip, every single thing and outsourced

my validation for a long time. So naturally walked into a career of modeling and started to really grow my social media, not really realizing that that. was my source of validation and my energy that I was kind of running off of for a long time. And I think what really shifted for me two things. When I became vegetarian again and then eventually vegan, I saw a factory from a footage from a factory farm, saw a mother dairy cow being craned up by her legs. And even though it might not seem like there's a direct correlation between the mother cow and everything that I'm going through, self-love, all of that.

It's truth. And when you see truth in any aspect, it can really inspire you to tap more into your own. Knowing that this reality was going on for dairy cows really brought me back to self in so many ways and kind of lit that spark for me. And I think I wasn't fully done with existing in different spaces to gain perspective at the same time. So I went down the modeling route. I was partying all of the time. I was then in partying spaces but not parting, cooking cassidias for everyone at like 2 a.m. while everyone's doing a multitude of things like, let's get our lives together, guys. So I have just, gosh, like chameleon, chameleon, chameleon, chameleon,

so many different shades of myself. And all the while I felt kind of the similar way on the inside the whole time. Just the outside has been changing. So I feel like right now, in my life, it's really just a releasing of how I felt for so long on the inside to the outside. I didn't want to scare anyone and do it overnight. However, I don't really care anymore because I want to live in my truth. And if that's a big contrast to where I was a week ago, well, let's do it. Yeah. Yeah.

It's when you start to chip away at those and like just start to have that inner inquiry of like, why have I gotten to this point? Why do I do the things that I do? Is it because it genuinely lights me up? Because I love it because it brings me joy or because it's what I think will get me love. I think in our deepest core, we just desire to love and to be loved.

And unconsciously, we'll do a whole bunch of things externally and internally to overcompensate for trying to get that. But it's not the real authentic thing, you know. And so we portray to the world a version. of ourselves that we think will be liked. And that works for some time, most cases. But then you hit a point in your life. Maybe it's around your side in return or different, you know, a big relationship that you fall out of or whatever it is that kind of wake you up to this, you know, lie that you've been living on certain levels, right? There's obviously beautiful parts of all the journey. And I'm sure

you wouldn't take any of it back. It's brought you to where you are now. But it gave you that realization of who you want to step into. And so for you, as you started to chip away, right? Like, what is it like to have the courage and bravery to shed those layers? Because we grasp onto the fear of who we have, you know, the fear of the unknown really is what it is for so long. When you get an explant, when you shave your head, like these are big people would perceive external physical changes that you're making in your body. And for you, it feels true. For you, it feels authentic. But I'm sure there's also like fears and stuff that have come up from that. Yeah. I think, gosh, there's so many.

so many things to talk about in this, right? Because authenticity is a life's work and maybe multiple lifetimes of work, you know? So to say that I've done these few things and I'm authentic now. I am authentic everybody is just not the case. It's first understanding that maybe it is fluid. maybe things are ever changing. Maybe we can, I don't know, maybe it's not such a constant. I have no idea just like if I'm looking at a kaleidoscope and it forms into a new thing from one thing. Is it any less true? I don't know. So I think it's just about instead of for me finding the absolute truth and just kind of stressing myself out about figuring out what that is, enjoying every single layer that I'm shedding, knowing that every single time I do, I'm closer

to that ultimate truth. So the process, the journey is just so incredible once you're on it and once you're aware of it. So I think something that really helped me along the way was realizing that the fear of knowing and expressing who I am is a fear of myself. Why would I be scared of myself? And why would I shut that off from the world? So once I stopped fearing really what was myself, then I felt like it just became a lot easier at the end of the day, if everyone went away. If I was stuck in the middle of C.U. Forest with moss everywhere.

And I would just have myself, I would have tons of opportunity to get to know who I am. And so I'm treating this life experience like that. Every day is an opportunity to learn more and learn more. and I should do it whether there's a million people around or nobody around. Yeah. Yeah. I think that intimacy that you create with yourself, by yourself, to be able to sit down and look at yourself in front of the mirror and be okay with whatever you see and feel like

I'm just me and I don't need to change anything about me. Like that's freedom, you know? And if you can't do that, then there's just barriers that you need to release and to let go. and so much of our growth really comes in that letting go process. It's not if I want to be more oftentimes we're under the illusion thing. We need to get more and attain more. But really it's the alternate. So do you want to? That's so true. What you just said, it's not about, yeah, it's so that it's not so much becoming more and adding layers. It's really about shedding and letting go of what does not serve or what you just picked up along the way that never served. I believe

that some layers really do serve as a protection mode or survival mode for certain stages of your life. But sometimes you realize, oh, how'd that get there? That's not me at all. And I think that's been the biggest part of this journey for me is the silence, is the stillness, it's the reflection, and it's the shutting of the layers versus adding new ones. Just yet, right? Like, when you're in a raw vulnerable space where you're exposing yourself, it's really time to safeguard all that you are at the same time and not be so quick to jump on to something that's super new and super shiny and alluring. It's a time to get to know yourself and treat it, like, be responsible about it at the same time. So that's just kind of what I'm doing right now. Yeah, no. And I think on the spiritual

path, like people can get a little over serious with like the process of it. And I know you're somebody that's just like so playful and like you rarely have a serious moment, which is just so good. Yeah. Which I also, I've learned over time is it's a sometimes it's just me, right? It's my soul, it's my spirit. But also it comes to a place of anxiousness and needing to fill the space because quiet allows me to really feel the space and wrap. And, really. Rewater, it allows me to really feel the space. And rather than feeling like I need to fill it all the time, I'm really allowing myself to just let it be as well. I have been performing my entire life. I make everyone laugh and I make myself laugh and try to find the humor and everything.

And I love that part of myself. It's not about, oh, I'm shaved my head now and now I'm no longer funny and now we know who. But I think reflecting on when it does serve and when it is a authentic expression versus when it's hiding a part of myself that needs tending to. So I'm still funny. At least you think you are. I think I'm funny. Everyone was just laughing in pity. Oh, I know everyone like signed an agreement before everyone. So, okay, look, Svea's going to be around. Just please laugh at her. Laugh at her all the time.

Instead of laughing with her, what you used to now that she shaped her. I just keep laughing at her and you'll convince her. But on this on the other side like as you been going deeper and deeper what have you found like as you start to release these layers of who you're not and you find more and more of an authentic path of who you're an expression of who you are and like you said it's ever evolving not to say that maybe one day you got it but it starts to become more of a prevalent experience and it's like a larger context context of awareness that you're kind of embodying and um then things become available to you in that space. And so whether it's certain emotions, feelings, states of being, like what has come from this time? I love this part about it because there's something that's so interesting about going on this journey consciously and taking steps to learn more about yourself and uncover what your truth is. speaking to the humor side of things, I believe that there are certain just absolutes that it's your nature, it's your spirit, it's your soul, it's you. And as you start to shed all of these layers, some things you'll realize they really are concrete and they're a part of you. One of the things I

told my husband, Patrice, when I was starting to really be conscious about this journey was, I don't think I'm going to be funny anymore. I think it's going to become so serious or has a potential to become so serious to where I'm not going to be funny anymore. I'm going to lose that side of myself. And so five years in to where I am now, I realize that there are certain things that are just your authentic expression. And so rather than being scared of those things going away, if we're really about truth, it's about accepting and loving what remains as you go on this journey. And so I found that comedy is still such a big part of my life. It releases the tension and the pressure of all of these things that go on in life that are so serious and are so heavy.

And comedy is a part of, yeah, the ease as we go on. And I just want to make people laugh as we die, you know, as we walk into, you know, the dark. And so that's still there. I found, I knew I was always a really sensitive, highly sensitive human being. And I think what I'm learning now is to how to create barriers for this part of myself that I've suppressed and squashed and protected through so many different versions of myself. So that this chapter of my life I can actually express that side of me without it being exploited or, yeah, just not protected at the same time. So I'm learning barriers with that part of my life. myself. And something new that I'm learning is that I'm still touching on this, but with social

media, particularly, we just don't know the effects of being told 300 times on a picture or a video a comment about our looks. I don't know if there's like firm data on that, but I would assume that maybe it's not the most helpful for our ego. And so I consciously, a few years ago started to really shift the kind of content that I put out. And not so much to receive different kind of feedback. That's also a form of boosting the ego right now. I want to be known for these things. And so I think it's really been just a conscious insertion of how I feel on social media. So it authentically represents who I am. And that's been like the first step for me on social media and to hopefully start to creating conversation about other things versus just the

way that we all look. And that's been really helpful for me. And I think right now I'm really working on reflecting how my ego has been inflated and how I can release that pressure. And I do it a lot through self-deprecating humor, you know, oh, look at me, you know. And that's been really helpful, honestly to make a joke out of myself. Like I, I am so worthy and I am so full of all the things. And I'm a joke. It's just a joke. Everything is just hilarious. So I think that's been healing for me to, if no one else is going to do it, remind myself of the fact that I am so here with everybody that I exist on planet Earth with, all the animals, everything. Just a continuing reminder, of my place. And I have found that when I really go deep, I can't quite like find how that's

affected my life, but I know it's there. It's probably tucked away in the subconscious somewhere, which is why sitting with plants has been really helpful for me to really uncover those areas and to shine a light on different parts that I know could do a tremendous amount of, do with the tremendous amount of healing. Yeah. So yeah, that's been that's been something that I'm really trying to work through and to understand and to make friends with as well is that inflated ego. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think that you have a really beautiful understanding and awareness and perspective on this and how it's both incredibly important the work that you're doing to like unravel the layers, find more of yourself, like be on the spiritual path, see who you are. So it's very, it's incredibly important. And also from another perspective, it's incredibly irrelevant. And like, it kind of takes attention away from seeing like, this is all one big cosmic joke. We don't know what the hell we're doing here on a grand scale.

And to take the pressure off of feeling like we need to be anything other than where we're at, which is like you go into the spiritual path, like trying to become more authentically who you are, discover what's real, what's true. And when it becomes kind of a missionaries task and to try to figure it out, it can be like super hard and super hard. and super heady, but to infuse that play, the path that you're on seems really balanced and beautiful. And that you're cognizant of the possibility of the new identity that can replace the old ones so quickly. It's like we, and this happens very quickly, is people start to go on the spiritual path and they replace their old identity of somebody that was a performer or a CEO or somebody that's well known in the light and public and media to then I'm the spiritual person. And it's another. And I need to teach everyone. Yeah. I think,

I've been so mindful of the fact that this stage of my life, I really want to listen. And I do want to share as I listen. I think that's a beautiful thing. I mean, gosh, we're sharing information constantly, everything. The sunflower is sharing information as it looks to us. And we're right now sharing beautiful information. And at the same time, sharing from a place of humility. of from a place of I'm still figuring it out, how do you, what do you think about this?

You know, I don't know if this is an absolute, but wow, is that fascinating? Like that is really where I'm at versus speaking and just absolutes all of the time. Yeah. Which is a place that I used to really pull from in my late teens because I was so fired up and I was so gung-ho about all of these things, which I still am, but it's packaged differently now because I realize that there's just so much more nuance to life. And we have to be kind and gentle while also being powerful and firm in the way that we believe, or at least that's a possibility if we so choose.

So I found it to be much more valuable, not just how to speak to people, but also for myself, for my internal dialogue and for the way that I treat myself. So, yeah. Yeah, I think it's so easy to fall into that trap where, like, Oftentimes most people you speak to you, if you just go talk to somebody at a party or depends of what kind of community you're surrounded by. But most people are listening to respond. They know what they're going to say. It's about how they're going to be perceived and how intelligent they can come across. I think it is important to share our process from experience.

And I try as much as I do on this podcast to speak from experience, not from this absolute place of I know the absolute truth and like this is it. But like with the inner curiosity. And I'm listening as I'm speaking to my own words to see it to validate the truth and not like create a belief around what I think I know. And that creates more spaciousness for it to like, yeah, be authentic and be real to you. And then also connect with people. People really connect when you speak from your own experience and like what is your process. Yeah. And it can, yeah, it can be a little too much when people just read, you know, spiritual texts or deep philosophies.

and they take it on as intellectual information instead of knowledge from the body that comes from experience. Absolutely. You just touched on such a beautiful point. I think that's why, I don't know if it's the word is a version, but for the first 30, 29 years of my life, I, anytime that someone put a book in front of my face, look at this, read this, astrology, this, which I love all of it. Like, I know I'm a Capricorn, woohoo. That's really about it. But it's not the, it's not that it's wrong. It's just that for that part of my life, it wasn't, it wasn't my time to dive in. I was doing a million different things. And I also feel like I early on tapped into a lot of lessons through my body. So through my spirit. I was really connected to nature early on,

to animals, to insects, to my emotions, into so many different parts of myself to where I feel like that's kind of given me enough steam until this point in my life where now I'm like, I'm actually curious now about all of these other parts of existence and connection, knowledge. And I also know that the first 29 years of my life, I spoke in absolutes. And maybe I wasn't ready to hold that knowledge because I would have been standing on a soapbox saying, I know this and I know this and I need to teach you this. And now I can say with so much certainty that I would feel comfortable learning from myself now at 29 if I was somebody else.

That awareness of trying to be aware of the bias that we have, that we lead our life with and also that gentleness and that softness to the nuance. And so I think this stage of my life, I am ready to absorb. to kind of suspended into this area. I think about new thoughts and ideas or just knowledge as kind of going through this suspended area versus like it's inside of me and I am now identifying with it. I suspend it. I look at it. I'm fascinated by it. I consider it. And then we kind of move from there versus it just meshing in with my identity, which is what I used to do for a long time. Oh, I like that. I'm going to do that to the fullest versus it being like inspiration.

or yeah, just something that ignites our curiosity. Yeah. And I think as you've been sharing, like on your own YouTube channel and like your whole journey, it's been so inspiring for people to see your journey of what you've been on, this whole path of reclaiming who you are and uncovering the layers of who you thought you were and stepping into that. So I think sharing is a big part of our journey, whatever in whatever way, in a more immediate, you know, family and friends that can really hear us.

or NCS or maybe you have a larger social media platform and that is medicine because there's a whole lot of the alternative of people sharing online things that are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. So I think it's important. How valuable has it been to protect the environment in which you're in as you go on this journey, you know, because it's it's so necessary that the friends that you surround yourself, your husband, the area in which you live, what you're surrounded by energetically and what you're taking in through information, through media, through social media, through from food, all the things, help you really on this path of integration.

Yeah. So what have been some things that have really supported you environmentally? Yeah. It becomes increasingly important as you, at least for myself, as I become, allow myself to be more sensitive and to lead my life through my power. And it's not easier. So I become hyper aware now of my environment and the things that I eat and the people that I'm around in the things that we talk about, the things that we sit in for too long

in conversation. So it's made me hyper aware. But I feel like the first 29 years of my life have given me now the tools to navigate that with ease versus from a place of stress, which is what I did for a long time. Nothing's right. These people think this way. Everything's stressful. I need to fix it. I need to control it. When you relinquish control and you are more like water and your fluid and you're able to regulate, that's the word for me, regulate, then it becomes actually really exciting to see how you're able to exist in many different spaces and bring yourself back, your strength. And so at home, it's really important for me to create a container where I can thrive in, where I can completely unwind. And so my home is

really important to me. I like kind of being away from really loud spaces. I mean, my husband is just a place of healing and safety, so that within a person is just beautiful. And I think I've just stopped responding to a lot of text messages. I, and it's all with love. I just feel like I am in a place where I'm really inward right now. And, I would rather be by myself listening, learning, expanding, doing anything that I can other than filling up space, kind of like with a joke thing, right? Like, I don't want to watch something just to fill up time on TV. I don't want to make a joke just to fill up space. I want to do things that, for me, insert a great amount of meaning into life, into the experience. So

right now I'm alone a lot. And the food I've actually found, I mean, I cook and I have my own recipe page. I have my website. And I found that I'm actually really just so into just whole foods right now. I just want to eat tons of fruit. I want to eat things that are living, simple. I can cook up a mean, complex meal. But I want to spend more time not doing that so I can do other things. So I can even just sit with myself. It doesn't have to be. know anything crazy just sitting so I found that I just am trying to free up space in my life so figuring out any part of my life that kind of takes too long or isn't quite necessary right now like the essentials I see what's happening right now on my life as I'm walking up this mountain and I brought all this stuff with me I'm like I have my creature comforts I got this really cool chocolate bar times 10 you know because it's a long journey I have this really cool tent that pops out and I have like four rooms and each time that I walk up I realize it's heavy

it's heavy it's heavy I need to let go of something what can I let go of the chocolate the tent the this the that and really what I'm taking is the essentials so it's lighter I'm feeling a lot lighter and I have to if I want to keep walking yeah our experience like the joyfulness of our experience comes from how light we carry certain things within us, you know? And it's like if I were to ask you if that chair is heavy, it is, but not if you don't pick it up. And a lot of the things that we're carrying unnecessarily because we think that we need to cause so much lethargy in the system without us realizing it. And only until we start to release and shed those, then we start to have a more light experience of life. And that's actually what we're after. You know, we think that it's in the

career or relationship or something external that is going to give us the feeling we want but we only want the things in life because of the feelings we think that they're going to give us and so actually can we just flip it on its head and say no what is the barrier in this moment to attaining the feelings that i that i so desire and as you release and you become lighter and you stop in taking so much noise like really that's i feel all we have to do is just first stop taking in so much noise And that's, like, our diet is not just physically what we put in our body, but just anything we allow on our consciousness through all of our five senses. And from that point, like you're speaking less is one thing that you're doing and you're listening more. And then when you do speak, your speech is so much more potent because there's all these anxieties that kind of infuse our speech oftentimes because we're trying to fill dead space and try to make the uncomfortable comfortable in our experience and make sure everybody around us is.

okay. But when you kind of drop that desire and that need to be someone you're not, then people will eventually start to magnetize towards you that are authentically themselves and that are okay just in their presence. And ultimately, I think that something that you enjoy and something that I enjoy is just friendships and connections and individuals that we can just be in their presence. And that's enough as is. And then we talk, we play, we create, we philosophize, whatever, great. But it's not coming from this place where it needs. needs to fill a hole. Totally. Yeah. Otherwise, we're just like leaning on each other while we're leaning on

each other. We're leaning on each other, we're leaning on each other, which is beautiful. And also being able just to stand firm in who you are. And yeah, I think one thing you said, with the things that we absorb and the things that we listen to, I had just really shifted everything, like music, commercials. If a commercial comes on in the car, I put the radio down. Like I just am so aware of what is seeping into my conscious and subconscious space now. And even just those things, like I would suggest to anyone who is walking this path and trying to figure out a good place to start, making it super simple, starting with those things, just letting it be silent. It's okay. And asking yourself, why does that make you uncomfortable?

Why does the silence make you uncomfortable? Because it's not quite. your head, you're aware of the silence, this is quiet, this is, this is uncomfortable, you know. So speak to that voice. Why is it uncomfortable? Well, a multitude of reasons based on who you are. And I really think what I've landed on is just because then I have to hear myself. I have to face my traumas. I have to face my judgments. I have to face every part of me. And that's work and that's effort. And gosh, that's going to take a long time. But, when you open up the space for it, you realize that you are actually much gentler, much kinder than you think you are. It's not such a scary place. It's an adventure. Like we grab maps and we go

on these hikes and we love it all, the hard parts, having to climb up a cliff or if you do those kinds of hikes. It's just a journey and it's so fun and it's, you're not so sure of what you're going to find. And I have really treated my life and my truth as just a big adventure too. First, I got to find the map. Where's the map? I don't know. And then just enjoying every part of it as an absolute incredible adventure and an opportunity. What an honor to be able to go on this inward journey and find out more about myself, even if some parts are scary or some parts aren't so desirable. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, I feel the kindness in which you're affording yourself that oftentimes people don't,

like on your path to release the physical layers, like with the breast plant, you know, surgery, getting Xplants out, to shaving your head to a lot of things that you've been shifting in your own personal life. Oftentimes we want to be there for friends that are going through challenging things, but we don't afford ourselves the same kindness on the path. And it seems like you're being really patient with yourself and kind with yourself. I'm sure there's moments where maybe you haven't been, but it's really beautiful to see that. Thank you. Yeah, I think when you do a lot of cocaine or ecstasy for a long part of your life and you see the damage that you have physically done to your body, what can happen from that is a natural respect for your body over time.

I've humanized my body, my physical form. I do kind of see, even though we're all working in a cohesive, balanced mind, body, soul. spirit and beyond. I look at my body as this vessel, this temporary thing that I've been infused to. What an honor. I've treated it like shit for such a long time. Can I say that on here? You say whatever you are. Shit. That was too much. Okay. I'll reel back. And this body did nothing to me other than want to afford me the opportunity to experience everything. And every single time that I have done something that it was really made my body inflamed or flare up or go into fight or flight mode, I look at it as a little girl now like, oh my gosh, I wouldn't do that to another human being, my sweet, poor body. And so I'm getting emotional about it because

I do humanize my body that much now. And I'm just so grateful that we're both still here. and every single time that I eat something or I speak to myself with more kindness. It's like this fractured kind of like a pull on a dress, you know, like the threads are just like detached. We get closer and we get closer to really mending that hole. And it's just beautiful to be in tune with your body. So beautiful. Shit. Oh, so good.

I just love to see this. It's so good to feel you in like this real expression of just earnestly, honestly, like, looking inwards, seeing like you. Like I can tell the difference between somebody who's on a path of, like, actually caring about, like, making the shifts in their life versus somebody who is just another identity. structure in which they're trying to switch on to another pair of clothes instead of, you know, Levi's and a black shirt. It's white, you know, robes. It's just another identity. But for you, it feels like you're really walking this path. And I'm so excited for this. I'm so excited for you. And it's been so beautiful to continue to see this. And I mean, just as you know, like, the more that your path unfolds and you see the gifts that come online and what becomes available

to you in this new space, I can only imagine the amount of service and impact and wisdom that you're going to continue to be able to share it with the world as you're tapping into this space that is new. And so it's so beautiful to see. Thank you. Wow. Yeah. Appreciate it. Yeah, of course. I'm so excited for these. What has been your path now? Like you've been embracing the imperfect, right? Like all the parts of ourselves that we perceived as flaws. Like how have you been able to continue to make space for those parts of yourself and embrace the, you know, know, perfectly imperfect parts of ourselves and what maybe have been some real visceral examples of that? Well, time number one, being aware of time, if we have a hundred years in this body and this

experience, I don't want to spend a second longer worrying about something that I have no control over. If we are granted the full 100, I know things are changing, people are living to like 150 now, I'm sure, and beyond. I want to spend every second loving what I authentically am and loving even more the parts of me that I've been unkind to or have cash judgment on, just like I would a person. If we were in a group of 10 people and someone was different or didn't, wasn't up to par in some way based off of how we perceive the way people are supposed to be, my empathy would immediately go to that person. you are enough. What do you mean you feel this way? Everyone be nice to this person. You know, everyone welcome this person. And so I'm doing the same for every part of myself that I've ever kind of just squashed and treated like, you know, terribly. So whether it was with my, my breast size, I wanted to fully embrace what I am, even down to like the way that I did it. I didn't want to

fill my breasts with fat from a different part of my body, no shade if you choose to do anything to yourself to make yourself more comfortable. But I wanted to fully see what I am. I didn't want to make it easier on myself. I actually wanted to make it a bit difficult. Everything's been cushy for me for a while with modeling and with my access to certain things based off the amount of money that you make in this space. And I felt like I deserved to feel a bit and to to allow allow myself to see truth. And so I did that. That was incredible. And I feel like that really was stimulated from a place of time, being aware of time. I spent so much time fixating on this part of my body for so long. I've spent so much time fixating on different parts of myself.

I think there's also a bit of like a selfish insertion in there as well. Like what is everyone going to think or what does everyone think? No one's thinking about you all of the time. The fact that, like, I think Patrice actually brought this to my awareness, like when we were talking about this, he said that's also a form of like being a bit absorbed, you know, the fact that you think everyone is just constantly worried about what you're saying, what you're doing, how, just everyone's got their own stuff to worry about, you know, no one's worried about it that much. And so that actually helped me out a lot to realize that it wasn't just from a place of, yeah, I guess it was just more layered, I guess, than I thought.

But that's been really helpful for me being aware of time. Also, humanizing my body has been a huge part of it. And I think thinking about where we're going as a society or have the potential to, with the avatars, with the upgrading of ourselves, I just don't know if at a certain point we're going to be able to have this anymore. We have the ability to pick traits now before children are born, you know, this eye color, this nose shape, this, this, whatever. Maybe we're going to look back on this time where we were born with our asymmetry and our imperfections. And we're going to go, wow, there was a time where people, you know, used to look this way or choose this way or choose not to change that way.

And so I'm cherishing all of the rawness, all of the imperfections, which are absolutely perfect. And just celebrating every second that we have left of it because who knows how long we do. Yeah. It's so beautiful. And by doing that, by virtue of that, you become an energetic. safe space for people to be themselves and to embrace their imperfections and their flaws. And that's so beautiful because that is that is like real intimacy, you know, you're taking off the barrier between you and life.

And people can feel that. People can feel somebody who's vibrant. People can feel your aura, whether or not you're actually consciously aware of somebody's energy feels like you're picking up on it. And I think on the other side of that and like reclaiming more of who you are, you then become a vibratory match to the people for sure, but also the experiences, the opportunities, and life and nature just harmoniously orchestrating to you in a way that wasn't previously available. Totally. Totally. I spent so much in my life going, oh, I'm not finding the right people or

all this stuff is happening to me. And at the same time, I was, just from a physical perspective, if we're going to take it, you know, I guess from layer to layer, I was dressing. a certain way. It just wasn't wrong, just wasn't authentic to me. So I was attracting people who were dressing kind of similar as well. And I would exist in certain spaces where I was looking for someone who might be like me. Well, everyone's drinking and inebriated. I'm sure they're not going to want to have a conversation about the lunar phase, babe. Like, probably not. And so I really started to realize that I was wanting to mold and shape the people around me to be where I was versus accepting that they are where they are, you are where you are.

And there are people out there like that that exist if you put yourself out there, which is really scary to do if you're comfortable in navigating in those certain spaces. that's your norm, if that's your baseline or it's been for so long. So once I started to show up to different events or different spaces or connect with people that might look at me in my eyes where I'm like, oh my gosh, looking at me, they see me. Then it opens up a whole new world and you realize that these people are all around and they want to be looked at. They want to be seen as well. And you're actually not so different, Sophia. And you're also safe. So good. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.

Yeah. Coming to this point now where you're like you're sharing more, how what advice would you give to somebody that's like on a similar path that like resonates with what you're saying. They hear this podcast. They're watching on YouTube and they feel you. And they're in a similar part in their life where they feel a little bit more scared. You know, they don't have the loving partner. They don't have the community maybe. as much to support. What advice do you have or just any words for somebody that wants to continue to go down this path that maybe is a little bit more fearful? Well, that's why I'm so grateful that outlets like this exist because even for someone who now has a bit of strength navigating this space has become my own best friend and my own light and my own source of solace as well, it's still so incredibly amazing to be able to go online and to just hear conversations. Often I'll find that I actually find more peace and content within myself from listening to conversations that have seemingly nothing to do with what maybe my problem or my issue is

at that time. Just hearing people talk and connecting is healing. And so, listening to everything that you've been putting out has just been incredible. And I know it's so valuable for so many reasons that I can't even pinpoint. Just hearing people have conversation, hearing people use their critical thinking, hearing people talk about points that might be charged with love and with respect. That is so healing. And I think that's so healing. And I think, think that when you know that exists in the world, even if it's not at your front door, even if it's not in your home, that's the hope that we all need, that it exists. We've built a whole world off of hope, certain belief systems that are all on this, you know, little fragment of hope. And so

I think as long as we have that, then we're never truly alone. And I would say actionable steps, like I said, the stillness, the silence, that has been the biggest and probably will continue to be the biggest part of tapping into who I truly am, really pausing the influences. So music, things that you watch online, social media, following accounts that are actually inspirational, that are beneficial to your well-being. And don't just feed into a current belief systems that you want to root even further down into the ground, really question everything. I came into this world being really curious, like, just told constantly, stop asking questions, or more so at a certain level, like, that's enough. Now it's become a bit like neurotic.

And so I'm so curious. I question everything to the point where I actually didn't trust anything. I was like, it's the opposite of everything everyone's ever telling me. But I think having a level of curiosity and discernment is really important as you are potentially opening yourself up to many things. When you're in that raw vulnerable space, it's easy to kind of put on a different identity or become fully meshed with a different kind of ideology. So just moving through the experience of knowing yourself and reclaiming what that is with discernment is so important, your voice will speak to you, your internal voice will speak to you

so clearly if you want to hear it. And I think just as long as you remember that this is your journey, that it looks unique to you, no matter if you're in a spiritual space or not, just still tapping into what that means to you and your truth. I think, I made the joke when I walked in about but truly because when I shave my head, people were like, oh, and now, you know, you're this and you're this and you think you're all of these things. There's like all of these stigmas that kind of come around shaving your head or just trying to become more spiritually in tune. And so I made a joke about it online. I don't know if you saw it, but a lot of people thought I was actually really serious. But I think reminding yourself that you could fall into

like the same traps even in your expansion as you could before. So just yeah, just always leading with discernment always. Yeah. Yeah. It's so so important just to have that inner navigation and inner compass like the more that you do. And for me it also has been like one of of the biggest things is meditation, is stillness, is finding quiet. And then who you are has always been with you because you're always where you are. And so you're never going to lose yourself because you're always there. You just, again, need to make space for it. And that requires doing a lot of things that we just spoke into. So a lot of those, a lot of those invitations that you just gave are really beautiful for people to, yes, we have safe spaces for people's channels to open and to have new

insights and awareness through the virtual ones like podcasting and then also the in in space one you know in person ones where people create spaces and containers to to find community and sanga like I think it's so needed just because on one hand we're the most connected generation that's ever existed and then on another we're also the most disconnected so true and so being able to thank God we do have the internet and social media to find those energy and those pillars of people who are representing what you want to step into and then you can find spaces. There's so many beautiful containers

that people hold online. And I think when you were saying all this, I condensed my last thought into this. This makes more sense, more digestible. Instead of listening to people and feeling like because one thing that they may say really resonates with you that you all of a sudden have to identify

with every other thing that they're saying as well, I think there are so many different fragments that might speak to you that we can take from many different people that also say things that we wildly disagree with. So I think treating like each sentence as like a thought that you can, if it resonates with you, bring into your life and your practice versus identifying with whatever they might be standing for. You know? So that's been really helpful for me. Sometimes when I reference certain people that I'm like, oh, they said this. But did you know they also said this? Yes, I'm not talking about that sentence. I'm talking about that sentence.

about this one. I think it's absolutely incredible because I'm also sure I've said some crazy things too. And if I was if I was just a culmination of everything I've ever said and one thing would completely cancel out the other, then we'd all be canceled out, you know? So yeah, being inspired by sentences or paragraphs rather than getting so caught up in the person that's saying them. Like we're channeling when we speak our heart, when we speak our truth that's flowing through us and we can feel when that's happening because you kind of sit passenger for a second and you come back to you're like what did I just say that felt so true and I feel like acknowledging that one you are channeling and also that we're not always channeling is is really important

so yeah yeah I think it's just it's habit you know to want to identify with a new belief system with a person, a guru, an ideology that feels like they got all the answers, you know. And ultimately, if somebody's pointing at the moon, but most people are pointing at truth or proverbially the moon, whatever it is, most people get so focused on the hand that's pointing and not like what's being pointed at. The symbol. Yeah. It's like the symbol behind anything.

Like I love symbolism and I love all of it. It's art. It's a, yeah, it's a form of communication. and condensing something into, yeah, like, it's beautiful. But at the same time, let's remember what the meaning is behind that. Let's remember what a definition is, not just a word. Like, what is the meaning of this? Because we are not just that.

We are a meaning. We are the definition and the word. So let's remember all of it as we move through this life and not just get caught up on, you know, the word vegan or the word feminist or this or that, like beautiful, all of it. And can we just actually start to make the word human encompass all of those things? I always come back to this point. We have all these different words and all of these different things and beautiful, cool. And if we could speak no more language, can we make human just be all of those things? Yeah, that's beautiful. As you've been like becoming more sensitive, obviously

you're a very already highly sensitive person. I know like you're getting more sensitive shoot. But even like the act of removing a lot of energy from your head and shaving your head, like you become more of like a sensitive energetic rod to everything that's happening around you. One, I'm sure you've gotten a lot more access to like your own inner child. You know, I think we incarnate in these flesh bodies. We come in and like we're these pure little beings that just look out with bright, wide eyes to the world. And then we pick up a bunch of shit. That's not us. And then we got a, work through it and it's like our karma to work through it and to come back into that original

kind of pure source energy. So from that place and then I'm sure there's been, you know, plant medicine journeys and things that have supported you with having more compassion. Like when you're sensitive, you don't need a philosophy to not kill or make things around you suffer when you're sensitive to it or at least to the degree that you don't have to. right. Of course, there's to a degree in which we're going to step on a bug when we're not aware of it. Yeah, we are. And you might feel that too. Yeah. So that aside, you know, just realizing that to have the conscious awareness of just being sensitive to life, then you'll do what's needed. And just that. When you're joyful in your own being, then you won't take or, yeah, you just won't take more than that's needed. And so that comes into a Hymsa that comes into bringing compassion to other beings. And so is there anything you want to speak to? you on your journey of, you know, not just the ideology of veganism, but becoming sensitive to life and caring for other beings in all shapes and forms. Totally. Number one, I had to, I had to sit with the fact that veganism doesn't encompass everything that I feel, actually.

Veganism falls short to me. By definition, if I was a vegan, which I'm not considered anymore because of things like this, I shouldn't go outside and grab a cicada shell that's been, you know, perched on a tree for how long because the cicada's long gone now. It's exoskeleton. I shouldn't be able to go outside, grind that up and use it as an antihistamine. I don't feel that way. I'm like, wow, this is incredible. This is medicine. This is a gift. And so I guess I live my life more in tune with how I feel and my sensitivities. And it's more about bringing the least amount of harm I can possible to the world. You know, by living, by breathing, by existing, we have an effect. We have a footprint. So it's just about trying to make that as light as possible.

So I think, like you said, when you are highly sensitive, sometimes a lot of the things that we read about that we learned about the philosophies, like that's innate. It's kind of ingrained in your being. And so for a long time, I felt like I was behind because I didn't know about every philosopher, I didn't know about certain texts. But when I read them, it really just resonated with something that I've been exercising for a long time, which is my love for nature, animals, and the gentleness of it all and the connectivity of all of it. So I think when you decide to, you decide to, to become more connected, you become more sensitive. And you should be really ready for that. You should prepare for that a bit because it doesn't make things automatically easier.

And it can be a bit crushing. When you start to realize the truth of a lot of things, it can be hard to look anywhere if you aren't able to regulate properly. Regulation, I said that word earlier. It's so important to me and will always continue to be important to me because I'm able to go from here to here in a second based off of something that I see. Someone might see a fast food billboard with a burger on it, but I see a baby that was most likely four months old in between gluten, which has also been exploited to the absolute max. And the world can become a really heavy place. And so trying to find the lightness in all of it and try to also realize that the person who created that billboard potentially and who's also looking at it salivating,

it doesn't know the full truth. And if they did, it wouldn't be up there. So bringing compassion and kindness to every single part of this experience has been really helpful. But being sensitive is it comes with its own challenges, but it also allows for all of the growth and all of the expansion. So it's kind of like you kind of have to have one with the other. And as long as you can regulate and figure out what your forms of regulation are, then I think it'll be, it'll make for a much more fulfilling experience. For me, breathwork is really important. Like you brought up what works for you and breathwork has been everything for me. Connecting with the breath, the spirit, um, and slowing down. I do a lot of adaptogens. They've been really helpful for me,

especially because I had a lot of childhood trauma. So just, um, rewiring my stress responses has been a big part of it as well. Um, but yeah, I think in terms of becoming more sensitive, I feel like that's just something that's going to happen. The more you get to know. yourself because we're emotional, sensitive, connected beings. So rather than going, I want to be more sensitive, the more that you get to know yourself, I'm pretty sure you'll just become really sensitive. It might not be in the same way like me crying all the time. But it might just, yeah, might like many different ways. Yeah. And in that process, like I said, we don't take more than we need. We're compassionate and aware of our impact on all life, on the plants, the ecosystem,

and animals that are around us. And we've largely become so disconnected in modern society to our real impact. And we just live in a world where we want something we get at the next day off Amazon. And if we want food, it's all at the grocery store, but we don't understand the mono crops and different things that are happening for it to become a reality in our life. Vegas included. That's part of the reason why we're working to get on land because they want to be connected to the growing process. We want to put seed and grow. We want to tend to it just like we would any other life form. And we want to watch it grow and be there for it. And it's lows and its challenges and really understand what it takes to grow food. And I think it's really, I got into a really idealistic place with being vegan where I thought, because I was vegan, I was saving lives. I have to save this. So because I do animal rescue, when I physically grab an animal out of a situation and then I bring it to sanctuary, that to me is directly saving a life. There's so many animal lives that are being taken

every single time, no matter if we grab a veganess or a vegan vet. So putting that power back in our hands to say we can go a step further with our food if we so choose. growing our own food, becoming even more connected. The vegan hot dog, while I'm sure is, you know, great for certain reasons, I don't think it's going to help our health, really. I don't think it's going to add light to our being. And I also know that I probably wouldn't want to put money in the pockets of the people who are creating those companies, a lot of them anyways. So I think if you are someone who is highly sensitive and you're vegan and you're walking this walk to make less impact, I think we would make the best farmers on earth. I think we would actually

tend to animals so well, animal welfare to the max. So I think that's been a big part of my journey is realizing that there are areas that could be improved within the vegan space. And if they aren't there yet, go do it. Like, stop worrying about the fact that no one else is doing it and casting judgment. That's a middle step to now where maybe we could potentially go. And that is just as necessary as well. So that's been a big part of my journey is kind of detaching myself from the identity of vegan to redefine what it means to me to be a steward and a lover of all things, which I don't know what it would be considered at this point, but the word doesn't really matter to me. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, it's just, it's beautiful just to move in that direction of see how

we can serve more, be more conscious, be more mindful of the impact that we do have. and we live in times where it's, I mean, it's, unless you want to literally go and create your own farm and like completely be self-sustained, which is possible, but not very practical in modern society, then there's going to be impacts. And so just to be mindful of trying to do better than we can. Totally. Yeah. Yeah.

Amazing. We've touched on quite a bit of topics that we're just so beautiful. And I'm just reflecting on like the, uh, the, uh, the, the question. of the depth in which we went, and I think it was really beautiful and profound. Is there anything that you want to touch on that's really important in our life for you right now that we haven't touched on? Let me see. I think just kind of in theme with authenticity, one thing that's been really helpful for me is to go about it like this. So have you ever had any really strongly held beliefs for a log part of your life where now you're like it's the exact opposite right maybe you've thrown

them out and you're like wow deeply rooted held with conviction for such a long time and now you're like it might even be the opposite of what you believed i don't know the sky is blue now it's green i have no idea but i started to look at myself as a belief so rather than that being like dissociating or um that being like a negative thing, I really started to question my entirety like I would a deeply held belief. And from that point, I realized just how far back we kind of have to go to see the impacts and the influences and how they have just been absorbed by our being at such an early age. So from the time that we literally breathe air, we're poked with a million different things. you know, we can call that a bodily influence, I don't know. I'm not saying it's right or wrong,

but we are influenced. We breathe the air. We're influenced by the chemicals that are in the air. Our body starts to change. So we are constantly being influenced and inspired by and morphed by. And so I really found a lot of peace in this big mountain that I'm climbing from that perspective, treating myself as a belief and questioning it, being kind to it, and really seeing what actually resonates and what is actually aligned at this part in my life. And I feel like just like I've humanized my body and just like I'm kind of humanizing myself as well, which we should humanize ourselves already. it's been it's it's allowed me to really get clarity so much quicker on on many different things

and shed layers quicker. So I would say that's been really helpful for me. I love that. That's a really cool framework or like perspective, you know, and I think viewing yourself or at least the, you know, it's viewing who you're not, the identity as a belief because it actually is, you know, and we've, it's become so ingrained. drained and it's like if you wear a blue colored tinted glasses, you actually wouldn't start to see the world blue anymore. Your eyes would adjust to see the world as it is and you think that's the way things are, you know, but in reality, you are still wearing glasses and take off the proverbial lens in which you're looking through life and that comes through immersing yourself

in nature. The human mind is the only thing that can be not connected to everything else that exists. All other plant, animal life are inherently connected and they just are fullness in their expression of their being. The human mind has the potential for so much, but also on the flip side, it has the connection for separation, has the possibility for separation. So that's just a beautiful framework and understanding. And I love to view and see the parts of ourselves that we're not, that very much so, that belief system, that identity structure. That's the reason for our disconnection with all life around us, which is where the suffering comes from. Totally. I love the blue tinted glasses metaphor. How would you know you're wearing blue tinted glasses? Well, first you've got to

reach up and you're, what are these? And then, yeah, but it's so true. If you've never had a burrito, how would you ever know that you didn't like a burrito, you know? So I think, yeah, we don't know what we don't know. And so, yeah, I love, I love, I love that analogy. Yeah. And sometimes it takes having a conversation with somebody who quite literally sees the world in a different perspective and that is enticing. But it has to be like authentically arrived at your own experience. You have to genuinely want to explore that maybe looking at things through new eyes will reveal a new world because it will. But you have to take the courage to feel those classes, be like, oh, my reality is changing as they take them off. And, you know, there's many different moments where you can get a clear lens of reality, you know, where you see truth and you feel

and it comes in a deep moment of stillness or energetic expression or a psychedelic journey or whatever it is. But then we come back to the comfort of the blue tinted glasses, you know. Yeah. But being surrounded by individuals who have different views of the world, I think allow us to have a more expanded identity with more life and more of the universal kind of intention of why we're here. And that creates so much freedom. Yeah.

Less echo chambers, more like using your critical thinking. flexing the mind. If we don't use something, we lose it. And if everything is just cyclical ideas, beliefs, thoughts, patterns, then you're not really forced to use, use so much of it. And it would like atrophy, right? Just like a muscle would. And so I, even though it might be, we don't couple these experiences as delightful, being challenged, having your belief systems challenged, you can't lie, it's pretty stimulating. Like, you get a rush of feeling and chemicals and what did you say? What do you mean? I believe that. Well, maybe we get so riled up because we actually don't believe that. And that's an opportunity to have it be challenged and to show

a different perspective to where we can grow. So I found that a lot of things in my life where I got really fired up about and really upset at the other person about was really something that was a part of my truth. I resonated with it, but I needed to protect myself first or felt like I had to because it was so true that it made me have to reflect on my X amount of years of holding this deeply held belief on a picket, you know, bored. And so I love entering those spaces, you know, carefully because my boundaries thing. But I think, yeah, like what an honor, what a gift it is to be able to use this thing that we have floating on top of our head. And even when it comes to like people, certain people that I have had visceral reactions to in the past or got an intuitive hit that maybe

something was really off, it couldn't have been more wrong. Like the energy was there. I was just interpreting it wrong. So maybe I thought I really wouldn't like this person. This person was scheming or doing something. One, that could be a projection. Number two, maybe it was the flip side of that spectrum where you actually have so much resonance with this person. And yeah, so I think that's been really, that's been really potent for me lately is trying to acknowledge the fact that my intuitive hits because I'm very emotional. I'm usually really intuitive about things could also be really wrong or just misinterpreted. That's been really helpful. Yeah, it's beautiful. It just sounds like you've shifted to just becoming more curious

about life. And I feel like the last barrier to our own inner heaven is self-righteousness. and to look at and to inquire within who is the self that needs to be right about our experience and feel like we have the answer or the correct perspective on said thing. And the more we dissolve those selves that were actually not, then you become curious and you start to inquire and you start to ask questions. And it becomes a much more beautiful playing field when you're at one with the mystery of life instead of like holding and trying to control everything to be the way you need it to be and wanted to be.

And that is just a very constipated way to live life. Yeah, it is. And a lot of times people talk about, you know, Christ coming back. And I see it as a potential for, like many others do, it's fragmented within each and every single one of us. And the more that we come together, we actually have a clear picture of what this thing is.

And you have a bit of truth. I have a bit of truth. We all have something. And it's going to be made clear from a collective effort. And so that has been really helpful for me to really work on that self-righteousness element and realize that I can be right about certain things while other people are also wildly right about other things as well. And it doesn't take away my credibility or hurt me or. yeah, make me any less valid because someone else is right. That's a beautiful thing that we all could be a little or a lot right. Totally. Yeah. Once you start this happen to the truth of life,

you also can relinquish your need to discount other people's reality. It's real for them. Like whatever your reality is, you are viewing the world through your lens. Yeah. That's beautiful for the journey and the lessons that you need to learn. And, to take the lens in the finger and point it back in here to see what reality am I currently seeing if I think that I have the truth, you know, and just have that compassionate inquiry and curiosity is just a more fruitful way to live. Yeah. And oftentimes the people that we have such a visceral reaction to or we feel like we believe

so differently than if we got in a space like this and we just, first of all, without even saying anything, just looked at each other. I don't really like to talk about politics or anything because whatever. And I believe there's just so many other categories than one or the other. And life is not so binary. But if any charge group of people just had an opportunity to just look at each other in the eyes, soul gaze, I think there would be a great amount of healing, already done right there. And then we start to speak. And then we start to find resonance. I don't think that we're really all that different. And I think that we've been made to believe that we are.

And that's why in any interaction that I have now in life, I try to come at it from that perspective. I might look a certain way. I might like certain things. And also it isn't coupled with all the other things that someone might think is coupled with. We're so nuanced. And if I want to be perceived that way, to have the ability to express myself and be seen in my

truth, and I should do the same for others. So, yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful. It's reclaiming that inherent inner sovereignty where a lot of corporations and governments really thrive off of the separateness and the inherent beliefs of fear and adequacy. Because if you don't think you're not. enough, of course, you're going to be a good little consumer and purchase things that make you

feel like you do for a little bit and then you need some more and you can never get enough of something that almost works. So you're going to keep coming back for that thing. It almost works. It almost does for a little bit and then you need more dopamine and you need more of that hit. And it's easy to control people that are divided, you know. And I think that if we can create spaces and in many ways we're far away from this, but in other spaces, you know, I see the hope and the potential that is shifting in real time for such divided individuals who are completely on opposite ends of the spectrum to at least see their common ground first and foremost and then can have dialogue that isn't so divisive but to respect other people's perspectives and and see that

really what we want are the same things we just think that how we get to them are different That's so true. Yeah, peace, love, comfort, a home roof over our head. Love and connection. And I guess what I'm so hopeful for moving forward is the fact that videos like this are getting views, right? Like videos like this, conversations like this, spaces like this are being sought out. And that that to me, is a marker of where we already are and where we're going. And so any opportunity where we can have conversations like this, any opportunity that we can have just in person with somebody on the side of the street, like making time for that because it matters and it does mean something.

And I'm just so excited. I'm just so excited for all of it. I'm living my life so upset for so long. I'm so excited now. I'm just so excited for every. to go wrong and wildly yes at the same time, just all of it. Love it. I'm here for it. Quite the show. We're on this planet. Yeah, it is. Beautiful. Thank you so much. I've thoroughly enjoyed this whole thing. I feel like for those that have

been tuning into this episode, I'd be really curious to hear what was personally impactful or transformative for you. So definitely let us know in the comments section below. Is there, Any last message or also where people can find you be connected with you, Sophia, that you want to share? Well, I have my YouTube channel. Everything's Sophia Esperanza. So it's just all the same. Sophia Esperanza. Yeah, which I actually, so that's my middle name and I adopted that or put it front stage because

for a long time in my life, I didn't feel connected to my heritage. and I was just trying to figure out who I am, who I am, who I am. And rather it being connected to my heritage now, it's what it means to me. It's the word hope. And so I put it right there in the front now. And I feel like this next 29 years or however so long we need more hope. So I'm just, I'm excited for the name change too, just to put more of that end of the world. So hope, everybody.

So good. Amazing. I can't wait to watch front row all the beautiful unfoldments that are going to continue to happen on your journey. And here to support any way that I can and hear for these conversations all day. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. So blessed to know you.

Thank you for creating this space. Of course. My honor. Everybody that's been tuning in, thank you so much. Love you, feel you. And please hit the subscribe button if you're new to this channel. This journey is so exciting to be on for myself. And I love the community family that's being built here.

Everywhere you can check out, Sophia, will be linked down in the description below. And until next time, be well.