Know Thyself - E66 - Peter Crone: Transcend Self-Made Suffering & Discover Your Inherent Worth

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

Peter Crone is back on the Know Thyself Podcast today, sharing how to overcome self-limitation and realize true inner freedom. Known as the 'Mind Architect', Peter guides us on a transformative journey, illuminating the path to release self-limiting beliefs, heal deep-seated wounds, and ultimately step into a new and empowering reality. Peter reveals the secrets to dismantling the invisible barriers that hold us captive and prevent us from embracing our true potential. Through his unique insights and compassionate approach, he empowers listeners to confront the pain of their past, offering practical tools and profound wisdom to navigate through inner turmoil and emerge stronger than ever. ___________ Timecodes: 0:00 Intro 2:44 Freedom is Available in the Here and Now 6:33 Seeing Beyond Your Limited Self 13:14 Understanding Our True Nature Beyond Duality 17:04 Making Peace with Your Shadow  26:16 Rewriting Negative Self-Narratives 35:24 Discovering the Origin of Our Limitations 39:04 Using Language to Move From Victim to Creator Consciousness 49:49 What Causes Triggers & How to Release Them 1:04:03 How to See Your Inherent Worthiness  1:08:55 Relationships & Listening as a Catalyst for Growth 1:17:41 Commitment is the Key to Growth 1:19:50 Taking a Stand For Love 1:25:35 Conclusion  ___________ Peter Crone: Peter Crone is a thought leader in human potential and performance. He devotes his life to sharing insights and strategies to create an inspired life and find true freedom by awakening new levels of awareness. Peter helps redesign the subconscious mind that drives behavior and performance and uses the wisdom of Ayurveda to help people find balance through diet and lifestyle. He’s worked with entertainers, professional athletes, as well as global organizations. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/petercrone/ Website: https://www.petercrone.com/ ___________ Download André's FREE Book Recommendation List: https://www.knowthyself.one/books Know Thyself Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/ Website: https://www.knowthyself.one Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ4wglCWTJeWQC0exBalgKg Listen to all episodes on Audio:  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4FSiemtvZrWesGtO2MqTZ4?si=d389c8dee8fa4026 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/know-thyself/id1633725927 André Duqum Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreduqum/ Meraki Media https://merakimedia.com https://www.instagram.com/merakimedia/

Most people are simply becoming the best version of their limited self. What you're looking for is not out there, it's now. And you're not looking to become someone. You're looking to be who you already are. You're saying you're upset because something isn't the way you want it to be. My life is where my problems are. And if my life was different, I would be happy. I've heard many things in my life that were not what Peter Crone wanted.

But the degree to which I resisted those was the degree to which I suffered versus the degree to which I recognize that at some level, be it not conscious of myself, I did choose that. In order to get to this real place of freedom, peace and complete contentment, discover where you have resistance to reality, that you're not okay with the way things are. Now the real powerful question is not only am I not resisting, but I'm asking the question why?

Why are these events transpiring? What is the story you have about yourself? Where did you first decide that there's something inherently wrong with you? Interest rates, the marketplace, like, you know, stocks that you might hold, it's in constant flux. but I would assert the only thing that is consistent is your inherent value. So real value, real security, real freedom, real love, all of these essences that we might crave from the relative are actually ever present. So in the absence of any story about yourself, who would you be? That's where you can start to discover your inherent value. Hello, beautiful beings and welcome back to the know-thyself podcast where every single week we get the honor and privilege to sit down with a brilliant mind, a beautiful soul, to see what we can learn more about. the true nature of self and the world around us at deeper and deeper levels. My guest today is one of my

favorite human beings on the planet. He is one of the most highly sought after mental high performance coaches. He is the mind architect helping us break past our subconscious self-limiting beliefs. And he's one of the best people in the world that I know at just bringing people from a state of fear to freedom, from probability to possibility and from feeling limited to feeling expanded. Peter Crone, thank you for coming back on. You're welcome. It's good to be with you, brother. Yeah. Just, yeah, it's genuinely, I mean, it's always a joy. You know, I've done a quite a few of these now, but there's something just hits different when it's a friend, right? Like, and with no disrespect to other people that have become friends, but I've known you, obviously, for a long time.

I love it. This is one of my favorite things to do ever. When we get to drop in into the matters that I love talking about most on this planet with people that I care about, it's just like the, and we get to share it with the world, welcome back. Let's go, let's dive deep. Yeah, let's see where this goes. Yeah, it always goes into those uncharted territories too that I didn't plan on and looking forward to that as well. My, where I want to start is that there's that, you know, so the story in the Upanishads where they talk about the musk deer, you know, or oftentimes the male musk deer in the Himalayas could spend its whole lifetime searching for the musk fragrance without realizing that there was a gland within it that was producing it all along. And so,

it spends its whole life externally searching for something that is only produced within internally. And I feel like that's so analogous to how most people operate and how they pursue freedom. The vision of freedom in their eyes comes after X, Y, and Z can come into their life. Yeah, yeah. And so I would love for you to just share and open up how you feel that freedom is realized, not necessarily achieved or attained by through effort. Yeah, it's a beautiful analogy. I mean, and it's such the pain in the ass of what it is to be human, right? Because it's so seductive to think that everything that we're looking for is outside of us.

And that's where we will find the eternal happiness or that sense of final relief and success. So I think, you know, it's a beautiful analogy in terms of how seductive it is when we look through the human experience, right? if we become Mrs. identified with this meat suit and this brain, then of course it makes sense that everything we're looking for in our life is exogenous. It's outside of us.

And there's not to say, because it's sort of a conundrum, right? Because without that, we don't get to discover that that's not it. Right. Like I often tell people, there's always somewhere to get to until you realize there isn't.

And so it's all of these beautiful paradoxes. So one of the, my, I guess, more thought-provoking or profound quotes, you could say, it's like, you know, the seeker is the sort, right? S-O-U-G-T-H. So we are that which we're looking for. But just akin to when you wake up in the morning and, you know, you're looking at a little dishevelled and you've got halitosis, but you go into the bathroom and you look in the mirror and, like, you can do something about it, right?

So in this case, I'd say the dimension of time and space into which we travel is akin to the mirror. right so without the the the feeling of the human experience we don't get to realize oh i'm not that right we look in the mirror obviously we've done it some people a lot more than others you know like we we know that's not us like the mirror is usually like a quarter of an inch thick like that's not me with everything that's in the room around me but it is nonetheless it's a means by which we get to know oneself oh the hell Are we on the Nileysam? No, we don't know they so?

Yes. Sponsored. So, yeah, I think that's, it's being able to be part of the manifest world without getting too entrenched and entangled with it or certainly attached to it. Really to discover, as I said, that, oh, wait, I am what I'm looking for. It's, I feel got to be the biggest turning point in one's path and spiritual journey when they come to actually reconcile and realize that the seeker is the sought. That's really beautiful because it is that saying like the place, what we are looking for is the place we are looking from.

All these exogenous means of like we spoke to earlier, whether it be in the more kind of gross, dense manifestations people are familiar with with the six pack or the car or the girlfriend, the partner in the house, to even meditation, you know, the myriad of different ways in which we kind of outsource. that kind of coming, or really just coming back home into ourselves. And so the I am state, which is the precursor before all of the kind of ego-driven narratives, is something that I want to spend a little bit time diving deeper into and for you to elaborate on that quote of yours as well, The Seekers of Sot. Yeah. I mean, it's sort of the ultimate conundrum of revelation, right? Because the eye that we will have, hopefully two of, like, it's the means by which we see,

but we can't see it right again without the mirror right and even then it's a reflection it's not actually how we're seeing so if you go beyond that to the real essence of who we are then it is the means of observation itself so that which is the means of observation can't observe itself so in like buddhist expressions like netty netty right like not this not that so even the most like disciplined spiritual teacher or student is invariably kind of caught in the yeah but what is it like looking for the answer right like okay well I went to this guru now that wasn't it he was sleeping with way too many people in this guru whatever it is right like there's this sense of okay I want to get this final resolution as to what what it is that I'm looking for what should I do but there's it's an

unanswerable question because the means by which we're actually experiencing life and seeing is itself unknowable, right? It's, I posted a while ago on Instagram. I sort of, I like to use analogies and metaphors. Sometimes I feel that oftentimes it does help a lot. And it's imagine a lighthouse and at night it's sort of rotating and shining its light. But in this case, imagine the lighthouse has consciousness. And it sort of invites as an analogy to the human experience of the observer trying to see itself. It's as though the lighthouse is asking the question, where is that light coming from? But it's the source of the light and therefore it can't see it. We're not separate to that. And so that IAM statement is sort of a little bit of a

route. It's a placeholder, right, where everybody knows that they are. Like there's a sense of self, consciousness, reality, whatever you want to call it. And it's where we get tripped up is then everything that we add after that. And usually, as it relates to, if we were to distinguish between what I call soul and ego, right, the identity being the ego, the idea of oneself, this human form, that's invariably founded in negation,

so it's a not statement. So I am not something, right? And so then that's even bigger of a tease, because if we are everything, we're the source of all experience, but we're associated with a negation of ourselves, then that immediately creates conflict. right because if I'm everything but I have a story that I'm not something now I'm in a pretense I'm in a lie

fractured yeah which is going to create discomfort or as a general term suffering and so that then creates the the perpetual search where I know at a deep level even though it's not a knowing it's a no-siss right that I am everything it's not a conscious thought it's a real deep felt experience but the way that I'm relating to myself is I'm not something which is discomforting and so from there now the motivation and the drive the desire is kicked in because well I want to get back to that sense of completeness or wholesomeness or a whole nurse where there is joy bless peace freedom and so but you can't get there from here right right it's that whole great show marks I don't know what the film was but I remember the scene it was so powerful

as it relates to the things I like to talk about, what we talk about, is like where someone said, oh, how do I get to such and such a location? He's like, oh, you can't get there from here. Such a great line. So likewise, when you're in the suffering that is the byproduct of being misidentified

with oneself as ego or a story or a human, then you can't get there from there. Now, of course you can, but it takes a moment of revelation or insight or inspiration, or oftentimes trauma, to be able to snap out of that, fall into that, which is beneath the identity, which is the everything versus the absolute versus the relative.

When we're in the relative, then everything is based off that perspective of negation. Like, I'm not this, I'm not that. I'm not good enough. I'm not safe. I'm not loved. I'm not valued. And then it's only human nature in that realm to compensate for that.

So the person's not good enough, becomes a perfectionist, the people pleaser. But you've actually gone nowhere. one of the terms that came through me that really resonated with me, which is often the case with the words that I speak, is that most people are simply becoming the best version of their limited self. When you really get that, it's like you live in a 500 square foot studio apartment,

nothing against anyone who does. But it's like you put down this beautiful wooden floor and you've got artwork that's exquisite and you've got fancy restoration, hardware, couch, whatever it is, but you're still in a 500 square foot studio. apartment. So yeah, there you go. Are we done? I think the podcast is over. Thank you all for turning in. Yeah, that's it. Stop saying I'm not something. Yeah. So this is great. This actually goes perfectly with what I was telling you beforehand. I kind of wrote some things down this morning.

When you were on the toilet? I was on the toilet. It's because my ideas are the shit, Peter. Yes. Yes. Or are you letting go of a lot of shit? Or you're full of shit. I'm not. Less so now. But are you? Because did you eat? I mean, there's Just see, it's unanswerable questions. Okay, wow. Just ultimate life paradox. Yeah. So this goes hand in hand with just what you're saying.

The illusory pursuit of seeking freedom in the future. The only place you can recognize truth is here. The only time you can recognize truth is now. Putting off recognizing the true nature of your being is willingly choosing to live in an ignorant state. It is like choosing to not recognize the color red as red. Imagine if you chose to live in a world, where red was green.

One thing you'd surely get in is a lot more car accidents while driving. So too will you create endless unnecessary suffering by failing to recognize the true nature of your being. It takes precisely zero effort to realize who you are. It takes enormous effort to continuously

hold up who you are not. The journey back home into yourself will be both the longest and shortest distance you ever traverse. Yeah. Beautiful. And yeah, within that as poetic, inspiring as that is, there's also some contradictions, right?

Because even the word journey, it creates time. Right. Right. Takes no effort to be yourself. Again, we could argue it takes a ton of effort, right? Because just like a spaceship leaving Earth orbit, right, to go to the moon or not. That's the case. It's another podcast.

This isn't a conspiracy theory podcast. Damn it. It takes a huge amount of effort to leave. a particular paradigm, right? So I totally get it. And obviously, as I've often said, there's none so self-righteous as the newly converted, right? So when people discover, then they're like,

oh, it's so obvious. Yeah, but like two days ago, you were like hating on life, right? You know, so it's like, so I think there's a lot of room for compassion that, like I said earlier, there's always someone to get to until you realize there isn't. And that illusion of a journey is both necessary and effort-filled. right so i think there's room for the beautiful dichotomy of both the freedom that is our inherent

nature but the suffering that is unavoidable by virtue of coming into this paradigm and being misidentified as a human for however long that goes and for many people it's an entire lifetime so i i just throw a little caution out there as beautiful that is it's just with language but given how smart and specific you are with words is that the just the judge journey automatic creates time. If you create time, then you're creating space, and then you have to create some sort of energy or effort that requires going from A to B, whatever it is. However short it is, right? And so the irony is once you've gone through that, then you realize, oh, wait, I'm timeless and I'm boundless, so I now, like, supersede time and space. But, you know, for the people that are

in there, I think it warrants having some compassion and patience, because it is super-sidavis. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like that journey, if you want to call it, that back into yourself, both is the longest distance that you'll ever take to the relative self and to the absolute self is actually no distance. Yeah. So, yeah, it's walking that paradox. Yeah. And because, you know, it's even like when people say, oh, be present, for example, right, which is a beautiful, at times perhaps even helpful instruction, but again, it creates time, right? Because it's implying that you're not. So likewise, the journey back to one's true self implies that, well, I'm not that, or at least that's not where I'm located currently. I've become sort of misassociated

with this external persona facade, which is why you've heard me say it many times. Like, I don't solve problems at all. I dissolve them. So it's a dissolution, right? People, especially in the spiritual world, it gets really slippery. Because everyone is. Everyone is. sounds like, wow, that sounds really good. What did they say? And like, that becomes so seductive and tempting to just follow whatever somebody said. And I just feel like there's a simplicity to really understanding our true nature beyond any conversation, right? It's, I've often said, like, trying to describe the self as like trying to use words to describe silence. Fusile. Yeah. So it's like, we are that. We are that that that that that, that arrived.

or is before words. So, you know, beware the guy like me who's using a lot of words to tell you how to get beyond words. It'd be more profound if you just sat here in silence. Yeah, they're like, wow, that was amazing. Guy didn't say anything and I feel completely enlightened. One day. So I'd love to open this up.

And what I feel like will be really supportive for the audience is that this like balance between shadow work. and non-dualism. Yeah. That we can have these subtle self-narratives that are detrimental to our overall state of being and happiness create a lot of suffering. And yet we can also simultaneously perceive the lack of any enduring self-capable of feeling such, you know, limiting beliefs.

Like I could feel like, for me, example, I've been, you know, on my own sadden up practice meditating for many years. I feel like I've created distance from my own thought and emotion. yet still at times I can notice that there is a subtle self-narrative that, you know, it was long past its expiration date, but that is still there that, you know, it speaks of unworthiness or whatever it might be. And so it's like, for me, it's almost like placing these,

these, you know, feelings of unworthiness like on a table with two legs. It's like it falls down. It's still there. It's very subtle, but it's still perceivable. And so I'm just curious how you work with that on the process of, of waking up, creating distance, realizing the inherent falseness of those. Yeah. But still they have somewhat of a grip on you if they're present.

No, it's a beautiful question. And especially for someone like yourself who's had such a beautiful practice for such an extended period of time when a lot of people maybe this is, you know, coming across this one podcast or your podcast with all the great guests you've had is perhaps their foray and their introduction to starting their spiritual practice. So wherever anyone's at, I think the thing to notice is. is as it relates to your question, it's integration. It all comes down to love, right?

And by that I mean, again, I'm just quote quotes because that's how I write, right? Like, so one of the ones that I've loved, and I've been looking at recently for myself is that one of the shortcomings of being human is that we fail to accept our shortcomings. Right? So it's sort of that, you know, one of the hardest parts of being human is being human. so the traditional spiritual work way way back you know like hopefully most people have now gone beyond that was like the ego's bad get rid of the ego kill the ego like everything to do with the ego was sort of this you know arena that you don't want to expose you don't want to talk about and you certainly don't want to have and um it's kind of cute and adorable right it's like

you know whatever features somebody has physically and not to you know forsake the fact that people can use plastic surgery, but it's a denial of oneself, right? So, and it gets really slippery these days because there's the shadow that is considered dark, but I also like to talk about the light shadow. So everyone's pursuing enlightenment, but I also like to talk about endarkment, right? Because in the world of duality, which is the paradigm in which we are, in order to have any experience, there has to be relativity, we only know ourselves through relationship to something, even if it's our own ideas of ourselves. And so the incorporation of all of it to me is really the quintessential expression of love. And what I found is that with people

who've done a lot of work like yourself and I'm not excluding you as the only person, but like there's a lot of negation of the negation, right? So meaning there's a part of us that is dark, not wanted, not desirable, certainly doesn't look good in the marketplace. And it's like, well, I want to get rid of that shit, you know, because I've heard this guy. And, you know, so whereas for me, I feel the most powerful human being is the one that's found peace with all of it. And there's so much joy in that because you get to realize

the sort of asinine futility of most human beings who are trying to hide their flaws. whilst if you recognize even in the community whether it's of humanity as a whole or within your own family unit, your friends, your workplace, everybody's doing the same thing. And yet what everyone's looking for is profound acceptance,

true surrender to that which they are, on all levels, on through all dimensions. And that's why I always come back to that word love. And in this day and age, we can all relate to, you know, the superpower, superhuman, superheroes. And so I recently was working with someone and this really hit home,

given who they are, which we could argue as quite a superhuman based on what they're capable of. But they were just falling short and not quite realizing what they felt was their potential. And I said, well, the final stage of becoming a superhero is to embrace all the parts of you that aren't.

And that's where I feel so many people just fall short, right? And that's the light shadow. is where it looks so good that it's even can create a community of followers, right? But which guru hasn't fallen short at some point or to be, you know, even people that we've talked about that we admire that we both know. Like, you know, there is that dark side that the truth will out, right, eventually. So people will find out about whatever's going on in the sex caught in the background or the drugs or the whatever it is, right? Like, well, shock, you know, you're human.

Right. So I think the next, I would like to feel, the next iteration of both real teachers and teachings is, it's more inclusive. And I don't mean that in the current narrative that seems to be saturating the world. But like, you know, in terms of the dark side, the flaws, the imperfections of being human as a real integration, not as a superficial, oh, yeah, no, I'm okay with my shadow. It's like, no, you're not, right? And so, yeah, that was the one quote that really hit me, when it came through me, having worked with so many high-end performers, as I recognize it's almost the better you get at your particular craft,

whether it's spiritual teaching to baseball, golf, or being a musician, the more tempting it is to not think you're allowed to have any shortcomings. And I had this with one of my baseball players who ended up being the MVP, which is the biggest accolade. But it was only after the fact that he realized he was trying so hard to not allow that part of him to be in his life and certainly in the sport. And the relief that he found in realizing, especially in the game of baseball,

where it's predominantly about failure, by integrating that, embracing it, accepting it, and dare I say loving it, was perhaps the most liberating experience he had. Because it's so tempting. like it's actually we're admired for our pursuit of excellence right it's like yeah i want to be the best i can be living their best life and and i'm all for that i you know i'm virgo by nature in this human form and so my predisposition is to do things really well but i recognize the biggest obstacle to me really fulfilling on my excellence was the uh denial of the absence of excellence

so i know i said a lot there but i'm sure it resonates with someone like you because you have such a great discipline about you, but maybe, maybe there's room for a little bit more of, for sure there is, yeah, in ways that I'm oblivious to currently, right? And I think that will hit with a lot of listeners as well because we, it's like the biggest ego trip is trying to get rid of your ego. Yeah. Yeah, again, I, you know, I'm writing my books. I've got all these quotes in my head currently, but as they, you know, the person trying to get rid of the ego is the ego. It could take a while. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. because it's again it's a denial of self right it's if we're trying to discard anything dismiss

anything then there is inherent in that there's the absence of love right there's there's a judgment there's a criticism there's a flaw there's a judgment uh or or or the sense of imperfection there's something wrong and this idea that we're broken or we're flawed or we're inadequate is it's just that it's an idea yeah and it's super pervasive be a virtue of being human and so can we have sufficient love in the backdrop of our real essence, that we can make room for the part of us that feels unlovable. That to me is real love. If you can have sufficient love within yourself to even make room for the part of you that feels unlovable. I want to talk into a little bit of how we can all do that because I think, you know, the idea of perfectionism really is in my eyes not a

pursuit for the best in ourselves, but the pursuit for the worse in ourselves. And a lot of us in ways where, like I spoke to, oblivious to, don't accept the parts of us that we deem that are unlovable. So, of course, it's that path of awareness and integration. Like we're speaking to integrating that last part of the superhero's journey, if you want to call it that is loving all those parts that don't feel like that. So I know you kind of, the how is really just live life. That's your, you know, that's your thing. Usual response. Usual.

But as we start to get awareness as to like these pieces that, you know, we start to hear and they're subtle. and they're kind of like whispers, but they're from an outdated ego. And as you go on this journey, they're kind of like the rubble of that still remains and rubs off. How do we bring, once we have a little bit of awareness of that, how do we bring that and embrace that back into ourselves? I mean, get a dog.

No, I mean, look, I can and I don't, right? Like, as you know, it's a big part of my work because I think sometimes everybody takes themselves way too seriously, especially in these topics, right? it gets pretty, as we enjoy, like the discourse can be profound, but I think also we have to recognize we're all fucked and we're all clueless. So really, the reason I joke, but also not, is the dog, it's a representation of an energy that I feel we need in order to get to the point that you're asking as a relates to the

question, which is to be in the container of unconditional love. Right, as human beings, the way that we predominantly learn is through mimicking. We see, you know, and feel our predominant care providers, mom and dad, or whoever it is. And we don't necessarily listen to what they say so much as we embody who they are. And so with this. Very powerful distinction. Yeah, it really is. Like, you know, whenever people have asked me for parenting advice, I'll invariably say that.

I'll say, you know, just remember your kids will invariably not succeed at listening to you, but they'll always succeed in becoming you. and that's usually a level of responsibility most parents don't want to take on but it is powerful so if you really were to expand that and extend that into this way that we could all mitigate our own suffering through the means

of being in the presence of unconditional love then that's not easy to find right like which human being are you going to find who can hold that container of complete zero judgment it's easier for us to extend it to others right and i would say women are far better at it and especially a woman who's become a mother because just by virtue of having to you know bring a human being to

term and then also to white butts and clean up puke and breastfeed and all the things that women do that most men just have zero both comprehension of or aptitude or ability but you know is really the closest thing we could say to unconditional love and so the how part is yeah it's difficult for us when we're looking and misidentified with the limited version of ourselves, it's based in inadequacy, insecurity or scarcity. It's very difficult to suddenly just embody unconditional love because that's not where it's found it. But an investigation into those parts of us, what would it feel like, even if we aren't in the presence of a lover, a wife, a husband, a parent, or kids are incredibly, you know, they're great facilitators in this too, right? Because they often

just, with all due respect, don't give a shit, right? Like, they just love you for you for years. and as long as they're taking care of and they have food and get the occasional toy they want, then you're their hero. But the invitation for somebody would be to look at where can I look at what I consider to be a flaw, a conversation that I have about myself, my butt, my boobs, my nose, my bank account, like, you know, my absence of skills, my whatever it is, like wherever we find judgment, what would it feel like if somebody loved me the same? Edgar Allan Poe had a beautiful quote, and I might be

paraphrasing a bit, it's something like, tell me every terrible thing you've ever done and let me love you the same, right? And they're so beautiful, right? If you really get that, like I feel, and as cliche as to say, we're all, of course, our own worst critic. You know, the mind is our most powerful tool I tell people, and sadly it's set for most people to self-destruction. So even just getting that and recognizing the impact of what it's like to live in your own construct of self-criticism and judgment. Like what is it's horrific. It becomes normalized and this is obviously the precursor then to all the substances that people do or the self-harm and abuse. But really, it's only because of story of some feeling of judgment that we fundamentally have if we would

really break it down to its simplest parts. And, you know, maybe there was someone, maybe a grandpa, grandma, you know, oftentimes they're the archetypes that we feel the most accepted. But I would assert that even if it's a bit of a stretch, that most people do know they do have the capacity to at least feel what love is and how it would relate to the part of them that feels unlovable, as I said earlier. The best way to really get there is to be in the presence of somebody who really does actually represent that. And I'd like to think, you know, one of the reasons people sort of find so much sympathica with my work or comfort with my work

or follow me and feel like they have so much resonance and admiration for what I do is because I really like to feel that that's what I embody is love and non-acceptance. The number of times I've been on a plane and people have told me stuff and they get off and they're like, wow, I don't know who you are but I'd never even told my wife that. And so what does that mean? Like of course there's the comfort of a container you're sitting next to a person

and you may not oversee again, and so there's this feeling of freedom. But, you know, when you're in the presence of somebody who truly embodies, like, nothing but acceptance of other, it's a safe space to speak. And I don't know many human beings who've ever had a safe space to speak.

And so that would be my invitation, is try as best as you can embody, if you had a friend who's hurt and going through a breakup or they just got fired or whatever they're struggling, usually friends are pretty good at, like, don't worry, I'm here for you, whatever. You can start to tap into the unconditional love for another.

That's an access point at least to go, okay, how would I feel if I had the equivalent and maybe hopefully there is a friend or someone that you could say, hey, if I were to share anything with you, would you be able to hold a space of love and acceptance just as an exercise, you know? And of course it's tough because you don't want to go through that exercise with somebody who doesn't because now you're vulnerable and now you're feeling criticized. But that is ultimately for me the way to get to that place of complete freedom is to realize, oh, the real container of suffering that I am in

is because at some level I feel that I am fundamentally flawed. And that story of judgment imperfection is the precursor to all limitation because I'm saying that it's again it's a not I am is complete but I am not something now as you said you're with fractured but it creates that illusion of separation and really not separate from others but separate from my true source of being love and freedom and peace itself just like you spoke to I feel like we can only hold space for others like hold that loving and graceful space for others to the extent that we've held it for ourselves. And I feel like that's where a lot of resistance can come up within relationship dynamics

because we haven't embraced ourselves. How are we going to embrace others? You're inviting a new way to speak to yourself. And it's like the tone of your voice almost that you comfort and reassure yourself and more of a mothering tone versus a lot of people's voice in their head is pretty abusive. It's very harsh. And I think a lot of us are accustomed to that being kind of, of normal, but it's not natural. Not natural at all, and I make the distinction between the

language that we use and the language it uses us. Right. So most people are listening to this podcast, it might not be their first language, but they obviously are able to use the language of English. But what I'm much more interested is what's the language that uses them at the unconscious slash subconscious level, right? And that's invariably something that was inherited because of going back to what I said earlier, mimicking, right? So if we're in a household where it's very, volatile mercurial, people are raising voices, particularly the dynamics between masculine and feminine if the male is very dominant and tends to be aggressive towards the feminine. Then that feminine, if it's a daughter, is going to at some level, feel that that is the way

that relationships work. And so it's not going to be a surprise if later in life, she attracts a man who tends to be dominant or aggressive and vice versa if it's a son. And he sees that as a way that, okay, that's how I'm going to assert my command or my alpha position in the family. But these are all unconscious patterns. They're not conscious choices, right? So I feel that getting to that place of really recognizing, first of all, the dysfunction

as a species that we really do embody, it's pretty categoric, right? And so for those who are interested in changing the world, you know, it's, again, cliche, but it starts with ourselves. And I think as aggressive, as hostile and abusive and harmful as those narratives can be within one's head, I think when most people honestly fall short or get tripped up is there's a level beyond that that most people are still stuck on. Right. It's, yeah, if you were to sit down when someone say, hey, do you think you're perfect? Most people, of course, they say, no, you know, but they may not be fully aware of what is the story you have about yourself.

Where did you first decide that there's something inherently wrong with you? You know, was it when in grade five, you know, whatever it was, or when you were three and your sister got the attention you didn't. Like, there's usually going to be moments where something occurred that started triggered that, what I call sort of emotional epigenetics, right? Like there's this code that we arrive with, an event occurs, and then that turns on this deep-seated subconscious constraint or prison. But where most people aren't even investigating that is because of the predict. dominant attention where they are putting most of their focus is on circumstance.

So the pursuit of what we could say joy, you know, happiness is a big word, right? Like, I just want to be happy. There's this sort of assumption that my happiness is dependent on when I get everything right or the way that I want it. So that's where there's another level

to transcend because in order to get to this real place of freedom, peace and complete contentment is that we have to, you know, know, be looking in the right place. It's like that whole story of the guy who's walking down the street, it's late at night. And he looks down further, and there's a street light. And he can see a woman on all fours, and she's sort of sweeping the sidewalk. And, you know, as a gentleman, he gets closer. He inquires. He says, you're okay? You're looking for something? And she's like,

oh, yeah, yeah, I dropped my contact lens. And he's like, oh, well, let me help. He says, do you, did you feel it fall out? Do you remember where it might have fallen out? And she says, yeah, I'm pretty son, it fell out as I got out of the car. He's like, okay, that's good start. Where's your car? And she says, it's on the other side of the street. And he's like, so why are you looking at over here? She said, well, it's much easier to see under the street lamp. Right. So this is, you know, I love that one because it's just so obvious to the human disposition, right? Like, we tend to look in the obvious place that's not the right place. Right. So, you know, if only my mother-in-law was different, if only my husband wasn't such a dick, if only blah-da-da-da, and I had more money. So it's always,

we feel that the sort of access to our liberation and our real sense of nirvana is to be found when we rectify all our circumstances, which would be akin to looking under the street lamp at night, versus going into the DARPA recesses of where these other narratives of self-judgment exist, right? So that's where I think most people are getting tripped up, is that they're under the illusion, and it's very seductive one, that my life is where my problems are. And if my life was different, I would be happy.

happy, not recognizing my life is an extension of me, I'm not a victim of that, but rather it's a byproduct. Everything that occurs outside of me and the things, the events and the people that I attract is really by virtue of the frequency and the vibration that I hold that I'm not willing to look at. It's like going to watch a movie in the theatre, sitting in the seats, looking up at the big screen and you don't like particular scenes and you run to the front of the screen, you know, to the theater and you're trying to adjust everything on the screen. It's like few times why most people are exhausted because until you go to the back of the room in the projection booth and you start to edit the actual film that's scrolling in front of the light that you are, you're not actually

going to make any lasting change or any change at all. So the language that we use gives us an indication as to kind of the source code and going back into the back of the theater and, you know, messing around with the projector to get a different display of the experience in life. And you spent a lot of time sharing about how the language that we use is overly, abusive, these shoulds, must, gotta, have to, these things that are pointers into how we are being unnecessarily abusive in our speech to ourselves. And so I would love for you to share out any other pointers when people can kind of catch themselves and how they're speaking to themselves that point to these deeper inadequacies or limiting beliefs. Yeah, and I'd say even there just to be really

specific, like that, even those expressions and terms aren't the language we use. I'd say there are byproducts of the language that's using us. we're using the language of English but the means by which we're using it is driven by these subconscious constraints so that's where the real treasure lies in terms of like editing the role of film that is going before the light that we are

so yeah just recognize wherever there is language that has built into it some form of limitation and usually as a catch-all it's a very simple way to realize is that you're saying you're upset because something isn't the way you want it to be

I mean, there's really two access points in language to suffering. You have what you don't want or you don't have what you do one. And they're beautiful if you really understand, okay, if you would have recognized, okay, within which bucket am I currently experiencing suffering? Right? Your family member did something that you didn't want. Okay, well, now you have something you don't want. There's one form of suffering. Or somebody could look at their bank account and they obviously coexist, right?

They're two sides of the same coin. because someone looks at the debt that they have or they don't have sufficient funds to maybe pay rent this month. So they have what they don't want, but really what they are feeling the absence of is what they do want, which is sufficient funds or abundance. So in either case, it is a complete conflict with reality as it is, and they're in life suffering,

that I'm not okay with the way things are. Now, if really people understand what I just said, you start to recognize the futility, compassion is an appropriate response because things are always the way they are, right? But the experience we have that is the precursor the suffering that we try to then mitigate or escape, whether it's through substances or whatever, hard work, there's a mirroble means that we use to try and overcome her own feeling of suffering, is always founded in the complete resistance to reality. And so if people really want to find, you know, the closest experience to freedom,

enlightenment, whatever words you want to use that float your boat, then discover where you have resistance to reality, that you're not okay with the way things are. Because life is completely indifferent to your opinion. Like it's comical, right? Like, imagine if you went outside at night and you're screaming at the stars, you know, you're pissed off about this and this and that. And, you know, life is like, well, that's cute. Thanks for sharing. You know, and you say, start to see both, you know, the fragility of the human psyche, but also the absolute insanity that we think we know how life should be. Like, I didn't get the memo from the universe that you're in charge of how everyone and everything should be. Like, that's my, like, even to myself, I'm like,

the audacity of that opinion is, it's really comical. So then it breeds a lot of humility is, whether we call it calm or in the way that things are unfolding. Yeah, I get it. Subjectively, I've had many things in my life that were not what Peter Crone wanted. But the degree to which I resisted those was the degree to which I suffered versus the degree to which I recognized that at some level, but not conscious of myself, I did choose that. Now the real powerful question is not only am I not resisting, but I'm asking the question why?

Why are these events transpiring? That, now, now that's where you can get me. That gives me chills, right? That's a powerful response. That brings in the curiosity to seeing how it maybe was brought to you simply to realize the unlimitation of what you can accept and therefore find more freedom through. Yeah, what if I set it up that way? That's the way I look at it. Like, you know, in my little like menu section and, you know, the God's like waiting room, I'm like, yeah, I want to check that out.

Like, yeah, that seems like a... Artbreak? Ooh, that's going to suck, but like I'll like learn a lot. What the hell? Like, you know, have my parents die. Like, yeah, it's not a conscious thought, right? And again, we want to bring in some compassion and humility and, you know, some real serenity in the way that being human can truly be like pain in the ass and difficult. But I always, you know, again, I invite people to consider just a consideration that everything you're going through at some level you already chose. The question is, are you going to remember why or realize why, in whichever way you want to phrase it? And then what it does is it completely mitigates the idea that you're a victim of anything.

Right? And that, even if what I'm saying isn't necessarily true, at least it gives people the sense of empowerment. You know, it's not cause and effect. Like, well, something happened, now I'm a victim of it. It's like, okay, in ways that I don't understand, being a divine being, timeless, boundless, I signed up for a human experience.

And whether you want to call it for soul school, for the evolution of my own consciousness, whatever way you want to describe the fundamental intention of this experience is you can go, okay, I didn't want my life to change in the way that my wife has just cheated on me, or one of my kids, God forbid, has, you know, gone leukemia

or the job aspiration I had that was there for 10 years that now has just fallen apart because my boss has sold the company that whatever people go through every day. But where can I use the experiences that I'm currently going through as a means to discover my own divinity and the powerful experience of who I am in the way that I can be okay with circumstance, right? Can I be with what is? It's one of the expressions I use for myself in many circumstances that might otherwise be challenging. Otherwise, I'm just in a fight. It's both recognizing that we have room to

grow and see the inadequacy or incompetency of our own identity structure. And to have compassion and makes space for the parts of ourselves. That's still on that journey. And like you're speaking to, the only thing that you're a victim of is how you're looking at things. If you're looking at Frankl, Victor Frankl, who's in perceivably one of the worst situations

that you can put a human through, everybody that you know around you is dying, but getting put into gas chambers in Auschwitz, you're starving, your family got murdered. And yet, if somebody in that position can still choose to have a creator consciousness and have an empowering outlook, then so too can anybody.

and it just provides the possibility, you know, it's like, this is an invitation, right? Not a should or a must. No. But that just provides a space to, yes, whatever you are going through, you can choose to see it differently. Yeah. And even there, again, just because of who you are and the way that you articulate, like you can choose to be if you can choose to be. Right.

Right. Meaning there's a choice behind the choice, right? So people say, oh, well, it's always your choice. And I would assert, again, through the lens of compassion, it's not until you realize it is. Right? because otherwise it's still unconscious reactivity, which warrants compassion. So, yeah, like, you know, Shakespeare,

like way before Victor Frankl said, you know, nothing is either good nor bad, only thinking makes it so. So without getting it to the real quantum stuff, but like from the perspective of the absolute, nothing's wrong, right? It's just all possibilities exist. At the level of the relative,

it's only wrong based on subjective opinion. Otherwise, it's just what it is. like there's through the lens of spirit or self or consciousness there's nothing wrong in the manifest right all frequencies exist but it's only from the perspective of the individual the human psyche that there's the should and the shouldn't the good and the bads the rights and the wrongs right and that's not to say that we don't as best as we can align in a way that is harmonious and kind and peaceful and we don't bring harm and abuse to ourselves each other and the planet which seems to be the current state of human beings humanity. But at some level, just as the resistance that we might feel unconsciously choose by going to a gym and lifting weights, because we want to create some harm in order to grow, we could argue that equally what's transpiring in our lives emotionally, psychologically, is the same

form of resistance or challenge that allows us to evolve on that level of who we are experiencing ourselves to be. It doesn't make it easy. It's like you have a great workout. Like most people are going to be, you know, feeling the pain that might be begrudgedly going to the gym with a friend. But it's like for the greater gain, right? It's for the sense of accomplishment, conquering something, becoming a stronger, in this case, physically stronger version of myself. So I feel like this paradigm, like it's set to suffering, right? Like the gods aren't like, oh, okay, like you're cool, you're happy, you're peaceful,

you aren't upset by anything. We'll send you to a different dimension. is like, oh, you know, you're carrying quite a few constraints. We got the place for you, like destination planet Earth, where everything's fucked up. Let's see how you do with that, right? Like that, I feel that's like, as much as I'm with everybody of like, yeah, we can improve circumstance. As long as I've known history, like, you know, it's been a bit of a shit show here, right? Like, you know, different forms of war, abuse and harm.

And again, do we aspire to making it like peace on earth? Yeah, but, you know, I don't know if this is a place to do it, right? I'd much rather you discover peace inside in the face of disharmony and trauma and chaos. Like, that to me is success. Because if everybody were to find that, then we would transform what it means to be human on planet Earth, right? Whilst everybody's trying to change, you know, circumstance, clean up the ocean, save the well, whatever it is. which all great causes i'm not knocking it but you know i'll often say like we'll never have well peace as long as the people are at war with themselves right that's the way that i categorize it so it always comes

back to us you know where can you find more love more compassion more freedom more acceptance within itself which then by virtue of you discovering it gets extended to your community your you know your family and the world at large so what you're speaking to is that if on an individual level our suffering comes from the resistance to what is, then how does observing the physics of what's actually happening when we perceive that there's a trigger in our life,

how does perceiving the physics of it bring us closer to objective truth unless our relative's suffering? The physics of it, you mean the actual physical circumstance? Yeah, like if we're in a conversation and people are listening, they have a conversation, a partner, there's a fight, there's some circumstance they don't like and it's triggering something within them.

Yeah. You know, I've heard you speak to the physics of how, you know, it's hot air and it's revealing in you what you have issues with yeah yeah so it's really recognizing at its most rudimentary level that your brain uh which is where you've become located or think that's who you are is perceiving some kind of threat and that's really what it comes down to right like is the primordial imperative of any organism is to survive so wherever you perceive the antithesis of that you're going to go into fight or flight right in this case it's like my actual life is in threat. It's my opinion. Like people, if you really want to break it

down to the most simplest terms, who we are as a person, a persona, is literally a walking conversation. It's just that people think they are their conversations, so they'll defend it. Like, you know, without getting into politics or religion, they tend to be the most inflammatory opinions, right, where most people have the most conflict. Because it's so rooted over many decades and generations that people think that they are a particular party or they are a particular religion, which is completely fallacious. I'm not going to deny somebody having that illusion,

but it's not a truth. No one on the planet is Christian. If you subscribe to Christianity as a way of life or a particular dogma or a belief system, fine, but for most people it's not even a conscious thought it's something you inherited by virtue of the fact that your parents were that. Doesn't make any of it wrong,

but you start to realize the illusory nature of what it is to think that we are what we believe. No, it's a conversation. You're a walking conversation. Now, what happens is if you walk into somebody has a very similar conversation, oh, Joe, he's awesome. Joe's not awesome.

He's not. He just has a conversation that you happen to find some sense of alignment with, and so therefore there's a degree of acceptance. But then, you know, he reads Sally, and Sally's a pain in the ass. Like, she's a complete bitch. No, she's not either. She just has a particular conversation whose resonance isn't so in alignment with your opinion,

and so you find conflict. But beyond all of that, you know, it's like, again, this just came to me, I haven't had this quote for a long time, but everybody loves everybody. It's just most people don't realize that. What does that point to? The fact that beyond the conversation and the opinion, which is invariably inherited, the language that uses us, is just the same essence of what it is to be a being that is having

a human experience. It's in the human misidentification where the narratives which are based in insecurity, inadequacy, and scarcity, when we find harmony or sympathico with somebody else's opinion, that's a friend, that's a lover, someone we end up with. versus, no, it's just another being walking around or a conversation that you have some disagreement with. But that doesn't mean just because you have a differing perspective that you have to have hatred or harm towards that person. So the opportunity to go back to your question is to recognize where you're being triggered. You're only being triggered by a perspective.

And it's only a perspective that therefore is creating the illusion of some sense of threat that puts you into sympathetic mode or fight or flight, which actually is really you're harming yourself. because you're under the impression that because somebody thinks differently, says something differently, sees differently, that you're now less safe in the world. And that gives you your physiology, the dumping of cortisol, epinephrine, or whatever, adrenaline, that is now going to cascade through your entire tissue system,

which is the acceleration of disease and aging, but you're under the impression, it's because so-and-so over there has got a different way of looking at the world. So it's when you really break it down, it's quite asinine, right? Like, unless it's actually a physical threat, if someone's coming out, you're the knife or pointing a gun out, you're fine, okay,

you know, do everything you can to mitigate any harm. But for the most part, all that's being hurt and threatened is a perspective. And when people really get that, it's so disarming both for oneself and then the other person, because can you listen to somebody say something without being triggered?

Now, if you can't, then I would investigate the fact that you've become completely misidentified with your perspective as though that's the only way you're going to survive is that's your truth right and again i tell people that like everything's real it's just nothing's true and if you can really get that again it's very liberating it really just points to how we perceive when we perceive an individual when we come to contact with them what most people think they're in relationship to like if i feel like i'm infatuated by

somebody or if I am really, I really hate something, it's coming back into realizing that it's actually just our own relationship with the perspective that we have of that thing and that we're not actually in communion with the consciousness that is in front of us, which is really sad when you realize that you're living in an illusion of your own making and that you're not actually connecting with somebody in the being that is in front of you. We're back to getting a dog. We don't get a dog. Yeah, because what's absent there is the conversation. and more so the disposition of particularly domesticated animals, usually dogs,

you know, there's the absence of a history that people drag around as the excuse to justify having some sort of disharmony with somebody. But if you really understand that, like a dog doesn't have grudges. You know, and again, over time, obviously if a dog gets beaten, which nobody should ever do, but sadly it happens, then that dog might become what someone would consider aggressive or growl or bark or it might even bite somebody.

It's not that that was its natural disposition. that it's learned to protect itself through physical threat. You know, but it's like you can say to a dog, my dog, my dad is a joke, you know, because it was funny and my dad had a great sense of human. We had a dog when I was young. And he's like, you know, he would use a tone of language. It sounded like, you know, you want to go for a walk? You want to go for a walk?

But he would say, you want to get taken to the pound? Should we go and shoot you? And the dog is like, ah, yeah. So because of the absence of understanding of language, like, and it's just the resonance of the tone, like the dog is responding. So likewise with a human, you know, I think I get away with, you know, some pretty crass language sometimes. Like, I don't like to curse too regularly, but people say, oh, well, somehow you get away with it because you're British and the way that you say with humor. But, like, it's, again, it's the way that we deliver, you know, the things that we say.

And I feel that that, again, is where people get so, they get so caught up on the actual words, right? And versus understanding the underlying intention of the delivery of something, especially from a kid. kids don't have the lexicon or the ability to articulate something, but you can feel the innocence or the purity of an offering. Like a kid gives you a wilted flower. It's like, well, that's bullshit. Like, you know, how much do you spend? Like, you know, it's because it's not like 300 bucks from like at Beverly Hills florist.

You know, it's like, hopefully most people wouldn't do that. But, you know, you'd recognize, okay, there's an offering here that is so beautiful. So I think in human interaction, again, coming. back to the understanding that you're being offended by an opinion, really, again, I say, if it's not life-threatening, it is just truly ego-threatening. And what is ego? It's a walking narrative based in constraints, which is not really something that I'd invite you to defend. You know, because if you want to be free, then, you know, if you're getting offended by what someone's saying, then you're confirming your own incarceration, you know, which is not really

something to fight for. Like, people love fighting for their limitations. And again, it's automatic. There's no choice, so we have compassion. But just notice, where you're just notice, where you get upset by something, at some level, your perspective of that circumstance or that person is associated with a perception of threat. And you're not under threat. You're just not. So the primary I am negation statement, I am not, would be something like, I'm not valued, or I'm not safe. And these are real, but they're not truths, right? So when somebody feels that they're in a position where they're not being acknowledged, they're not being respected, I get it. That's not fun.

But the real source of the absence of respect is within you. They're just saying something. Again, I just posted recently. I said other people's words can only offend you to the degree that you already believe them. When people get that, it's like, ooh, who's really been hurting me with language? It's like I've heard you and others share many times, you know, it's like if somebody comes at you and just curses you out and says all these nasty things in a language you don't understand, it doesn't. it doesn't bother you at all, but all of a sudden they're speaking English and you think that it's an actual representation of who you actually believe yourself to be, then you're like,

okay, there's threat here, right, to that identity. And that's where the self-righteousness comes in to protect its own, to be right about itself, essentially. Yeah, which is, you know, and even in that case, you know, you could be susceptible to the tone, like even if it's like Chinese or Japanese and you don't understand it, you could perhaps see through facial expression, body language, you know, that person's clearly upset. You might not understand why. I mean, it's maybe the soup's cold, but, you know, and it's not personal.

But either way, you know, to your point, yes, it's the words that trip us up because there's a signature, an energetic signature match, right? Like if I'm walking around at the most fundamental level thinking that who I'm not is not enough, which is one of what I assert the primal prisons that everybody's gotten to whatever degree we've transcended it or worked through it or just through maturity of like let it go. but if I hear somebody over here someone saying something derogatory about me to a friend,

maybe someone I care about, then in that interaction, it's upsetting. It's not actually upsetting. They're just saying something and they're sharing your opinion. It's like, okay, whoop-de-do. What it's revealing is that I actually still don't understand my own inherent value. And for that reason, that's the gift. That's the opportunity. So rather than feeling diminished in the presence of somebody else's opinion,

I can recognize their opinion is revealing where I already have some form of constraint inadequacy that is my own dialogue and they are purely the catalyst for me to investigate the validity of that, which is a gift. The downloads come in strong and heavy. It's like you're like catching up to the download as it comes in and out through your mouth. But it's a really powerful reflection, I think, for everybody to realize how a frequency proceeds form. We're finding resonance with who we perceive ourselves to be.

And so the words are, but, you know, petals on the flower or bush of that frequency. And so it's just realizing that we are really finding resonance with who we perceive ourselves to be in that form. Yeah. And understanding the different forms of resonance, right? Like, because that's a word and we could break it down into like what it means in terms of sound or frequency. And there's different words that carry different meaning and then they carry different. Like, you know, someone say, I fucking love you. You know, like, and, you know, it's like, well, that's a bad word.

but that kind of sounded cool. Like, you know, it's like there's different ways that you can use language, but based on the way that it's used, it can really land differently. I think for people to really understand the, you know, what are the words that you have that are the constraints around the timeless, boundless being that you are?

And even if you can't instantaneously mitigate the upset that you might have because of somebody saying something, which is totally human, compassion for that, then, you know, hopefully the next day or two, you can reflect on that, right? So then it's okay to react. It's okay to be upset. You know, what you said hurt me and I don't appreciate that. And sometimes there's a healthy form of what people might call boundaries, which I think become moot and, you know, irrelevant when you realize there's nothing wrong with you, you don't need a boundary because you're just listening, right? So that's something I think,

again, where people get caught up. But point is that maybe it takes a day or two to reflect. could go, okay, you know, my friend Sarah said, ta-da-da, or I found out that she's, you know, texting a guy that I was interested in or whatever mundane, everyday thing that people experience. You know, what is it about that that's really upsetting me? So again, to reverse engineer from circumstance to my own dialogue, to the own perception of threat, that's the access to freedom, whereas most people are doing the other way around. They're not looking at who they are at the most fundamental level of their subconscious constraints.

They're trying to control circumstances, which is not only futile, but it's a gooder. exhausting, right, as everyone is more than aware by virtue of being human. So that's the invitation is it's okay to be upset. You're not going to knock it upset. You're in a paradigm that is designed for that to happen. Can you, hopefully with a friend who's very loving, discerning and a good listener, go, okay, this is a therapist or whatever helps, you know, discover what was it about that event or what was said that actually created my disturbance? Because I'm still alive. Like, no one stabbed me or shot me. But some part of me feels sort of kin to that, right? So that's the, if everyone was going to go through the process of sort of becoming

increasingly more powerful, more free, and more peace, then they're the steps to go through. Events going to happen, you get upset, unavoidable. Welcome to being human. That's awesome. Now, can you look at, okay, what was this, the upset truly associated with? Because we collapsed it with the external event, it's not. The external event was the mirror. The mirror didn't upset you. You know, you're looking in the mirror and you've got a big pimple on your forehead. You're like, fuck you mirror it's like right it's not in the mirror right that's like thinking that your problems are outside of you and that's not always easy to look at but you know for your your audience is last i checked they're pretty keen on being free and awesome so let's at least start looking in the right

fucking place yeah you brought up the the i am not enoughness that is such a big theme within the collective right now yeah um and when we speak to recognizing our own inherent value and worthiness and worth. It's like almost to experience, and I'd love for you to share how to experience our own inherent worth, we almost have to step beyond the identity or persona that thinks worth is something to be garnered. So, because we all have moments where we, you know, maybe have felt earlier in childhood, we felt like we were emotionally embraced by a mother or maybe somebody said something that gave us the momentary feeling of, okay, I am enough. But to truly source that from within to where praise and hate don't, they don't affect your internal state is a really powerful place to be.

No, I would assert it's the only place that's really powerful as it relates to value, right? Because value otherwise is a consistent change, right? Like even look at the interest rates, the marketplace, like, you know, stocks that you might hold, it's in constant flux. But I would assert the only thing that is consistent is your inherent value. Now, what is that? So again, it's all based on perspective. Where am I looking from, right? you can't get there from here.

So if I'm in the relative, I'm the human, and I have X amount of followers, X amount of dollars in my bank account, I have this degree of status in the marketplace, you will never find boundless value in that because that's in the relative. So the only place to actually discover your inherent worth that never changes,

that's the thing that's for most people shocking. You can have all the money in the world, or you can be broke. Like your inherent value doesn't, never in flux. So again, it's about discerning between am I looking at myself and life from the perspective of the absolute or am I looking at it from the perspective of the relative? As long as we're in the relative, that to me is akin to hell, right, versus the absolute is akin to heaven. Heaven is where there's nothing missing, there's nothing wrong, and there's everything that is,

that I am looking for is, it already is, it exists. The relative is the idea of time and space where I'm trying to become someone and what I have right now, isn't it? But I'm getting there, right? And the illusion of this sort of idealized future. So the first thing to recognize is like, where am I looking from? And as long as, as I said,

you're in anything to do with comparison, relativity, then, you know, with all due respect, you're fucked, right? Even if, you know, you're a Jeff Bezos of the world, it's still relative, right? Okay, you're the wealthiest person on the planet. But compared to, you know, the wealth and the abundance of the universe, it's pittance, right? And the real essence of power

versus external power or control that somebody in a position of authority might think they have, that's not real power, right? Because if that was all taken away from him or somebody threatened his life, he would be immediately back into the feeling of like fragility of the ego. So real value, real security, real freedom, real love, all of these essences that we might crave from the relative are actually ever present. And that's, again, that's a tough thing to, it's a revelation. It's not a journey, right? These things exist.

It's in the absence of us that they get revealed. Right. So that's the trick is the eye that we are for ourselves is under the illusion that it has to become something and get somewhere. The irony is, no. what you're looking for is not out there, it's now, and you're not looking to become someone, you're looking to be who you already are.

And so immediately you do dissolve both time and space and the idea of some sort of sense of getting anywhere. And so that value can only be discovered, again, through the dissolution process of investigating the pretense and the fundamental lies that I am of any value in the marketplace. Like to investigate your human worth, and see the very fragile foundation upon which that's built,

which is really just going to be a conversation. So in the absence of any story about yourself, who would you be? That's where you can start to discover your inherent value. It's been a beautiful dance throughout this whole conversation of honoring the very real human persona in your ability to weave in the world and, you know, make wrongs right. and then also understanding the absolute truth of who you are and your essence. And the more that you start to taste that,

because it's really a series of moments where you experience it, then that starts to build momentum into realizing that that can be more of a living experience in your day-to-day life. Very much. You start to then come into, like, this realm of duality is set up so that we have constant mirrors and everything to reveal back to us, where we're still stuck. And relationships and our inner.

ability to really listen and be with another being is a really thing is another thing that we touched on a little bit, but I want to open up a little bit more because oftentimes when we listen to somebody in partnership, whether it be romantic or otherwise, we always are listening to it or what somebody is saying through the lens of self-protection or self-aggrandizing, which you could say is probably the same thing. Yeah. So I want to just because you're an incredible listener, I try my best, especially in my men's group and my family. I feel like family is one of those things where you really test where you're at within this journey. You know, you think you're enlightened, go to Thanksgiving dinner and see. And I had a kind of a good moment with my sister who

came over and stayed a few weeks last time and got into a bit of an argument. And, you know, I feel like one of my realizations of, okay, I've actually grown here is I just felt like I fully was honoring her reality more and listening to her and not, you know, where I would go habitually in my old high school ways is to like, no, you're wrong and I'm right. So you should just figure out what I'm seeing here because obviously I'm the right one. Of course, of course, surely. Only everybody has that perspective. Yeah. So let's just speak into the power of really listening to somebody and not just what they're trying to say to us and what we think that is. Yeah, it's the first thing I work on with anybody who's committed to making a difference in life,

right? Because we're often the impression, especially if you're a leader, a coach, a teacher, somebody in a position of authority where you do have impacts. We're often caught in the illusion that I have to do something, right? We immediately go into the realm of action. And I would assert listening is so powerful that it's actually a cinnamon, cinnamon for, not a cinnamon role. Synonymous with what love is. Right?

to really listen is to love because what you're in the experience of listening you're granting somebody's reality which ironically isn't yours to grant but that's what you're doing right

because their reality is their reality just as valid as yours it's just that we think our reality is better than you know theirs all animals are equal right apart from some odd and so that that's why listening to me is arguably one of the greatest qualities that we can all work on

is because it is synonymous with the energy of love which is the energy to other yeah listening to listening as a whole like we could encapsulate listening is really a process of observation right you could be out of mother nature you said listening to me i took it as listening to me is the best thing that you could clearly i mean that's clearly like the takeaway from this whole podcast is if you're you want to get anywhere in life, then you better fucking listen to me. Like, wow, this guy was really kind of hitting the humble height, you know?

This guy's awesome until that moment. No, no, please, no. Just go listen to the person that pisses you off. You'll learn a lot more. No, listening to me, from my perspective, just to clarify for the people in the back, is akin to love, right?

Because from the perspective of the mechanics of it, listening is really consciousness itself, its observation. It is the presence of self with the absence of small self or the human form. And that, to me, is akin to love. So I'm granting somebody the freedom to be, to have, and to express whatever their reality is.

it gets contaminated because people listen through the lens of their own opinions, as they're saying, everyone's a walking conversation. So if your conversation is in conflict with my conversation, then we've got these two beings who, you know, at the deepest level are pure love, pure possibility, pure freedom, looking through the very confined perspective of a human opinion. And then wherever there's some sort of sympathico and my opinion is commensurate with yours, then, okay, I'll like you. If it's not, now we have conflict. That's all it is, right? So listening is, as really, we could say, is the absence of me and the presence of you. Donald Hoffman, who's just on the show, said that his and how he perceives love is simply recognizing the other as self.

And what you're speaking to here in the power of listening is you're dissolving the barriers between you and other by recognizing that the other is you. And you're actually being with someone. That's listening. You're actually being with them. And then therefore, you can really get their reality. why you're so effective in the people that you coach, the people that you work with, and the conversations we had

is because once you actually can feel and see an honor where somebody's at, truthfully, then from that perspective, you have more distance than they do to their own bullshit, and you can help guide them, and you can help be a loving space and bring perspective in that can be really truly liberating. Yeah.

You know, because we all, I think, I cert want to provide that space for others, but we're so familiar and habituated. and listening through the lens of soft protection like we spoke to. Yeah. And I think it goes even into the mechanics of language itself, right? So if you take quite literally what I'm saying right now, if someone were to listen precisely to the mechanism of what I'm saying,

I'm just sharing something that we could assert as part of my Peter Crohn's view of life. There's nothing to be said, right? If I were to continue this train of thought and say, okay, well, I think that listening is da-da-da-da. and, you know, there's really nothing for you, Andre, to say. If I were to say, well, this is what I think. What do you think?

Now, the mechanics of language has invited you into my conversation, right, through the process of a very simple question. But if I were to say, well, I think listening is this. And then, like, you're, like, in the back of your head, orchestrating and rehearsing a response, because that's your ego. Like, you're not listening even. What you're doing is, and this is how most people interact,

they just talk at each other. is you're constructing an argument, not based on what someone's saying, but because you're actually trying to reinforce your own opinion, which to me shows the fragility of people's opinions. There's a great line in the third matrix where Morpheus, with all the other captains of the ships, is asked to come back to Zion to protect from all the machines that are attacking.

And when he gets back, he's left his ship out in the matrix in order to be able to communicate with the Oracle, who's a sort of fortune teller, right? And the head of defense with whom he has a beef, because I guess they shared some past love, and, you know, there's a little drama in the, in the celluloid storytelling. But he says to Morpheus, damn it, Morpheus, I instructed everyone to bring their ships back. And he said, well, I had to leave the ship so that we can communicate with the Oracle to discover the fate of the one. And the head of defense says, damn it, Morpheus, not everyone believes what you believe.

And his response is, my beliefs do not require them to. I say, oh, touchet, right? That's powerful, right? Like, his beliefs are so sufficiently firm that he's not reliant on, you know, what we could say is belief by consensus or, like, having sufficient amount of friends and colleagues who believe the same thing to sort of puff up his own belief. It's like when you could say that's a stand or that's a conviction or that's something that you really are completely and utterly determined. or dedicated to. So that's where, again, you can start to see that people's inability to listen

is often a reflection of their own absence of real conviction in their own beliefs. Right. It's like there's the conviction in the belief and then there's like knowing, which to me feels even deeper seated in your being because you can only believe something

that you don't know. And so, you know, Morpheus in that moment, you know, really was speaking to his noses of what's to come and that therefore, it doesn't require, other people to believe his beliefs because he's operating in that different realm. And it can be at times a nosis at a deeper level, but I'd also assert, particularly in that particular scene, it's more a stand for something, right? Which I love as an energy, I feel like

as a race, we really struggle with the energy of commitment. Yeah. And especially in romantic relationships. People might even be married. They may even have kids. But I would assert if we would really break it down to the basics of their complete way of relating, they're not committed. Even if it's not conscious, meaning there's no judgment of it, but like there is this doubt, whether it's because I'm not enough or I don't deserve this partner or I'm not sure I'm really into them or maybe there is infidelity or there's one foot out the door, whatever it is. But the energy of commitment to me is it's so beautiful because in the absence of knowing there is still a stand.

right if you know how it's going to work out then we could say it's actually not a commitment at all because you've got this reassurance so i feel that in the absence of knowing you can still be a stand for something which is a commitment which is you know for me as a human being with the things that i've learned in this lifetime is one of the most beautiful things you can do um sometimes it can obviously be misconstrued as for bad or whatever people are committed to doing all sorts of crazy shit in the world. As long as it's in the absence of harm or abuse, you know, if you're a stand for something, I think that's a real testimony to a human who's willing to commit to something without knowing how it's going to work out. That takes a lot

of courage. To me, it feels like we so often don't just suffer our discomfort of a situation, but our inability to commit 100%. It's like that 99% is where a lot of suffering comes in. doubt you know it's like doubt kills way more dreams and failure ever could right so it's like yeah i know for me working with so many high-end performers particularly in sports like and as myself as a decent athlete and i love my golf like there's nothing worse than hitting a bad golf shot that you never committed to right at least if i commit to it and it doesn't quite work out the way i had intended there's a sense of acceptance. I can live with that.

As somebody that I know for you commit very powerfully to things and what you want to create and what you are a stand for, both in your own personal life and who you allow into your realm, but then also for what you see in the abhorrent manifestations

that it's out there in the world, because a lot of this conversation has been speaking between the relative and the absolute, you know, relatively speaking, there's, you know, such horrible things happening on the planet right now and for you, I just would love for you to share what you are a stand

for. I know it's been pretty clear in this conversation. Yeah. But to even further clarify that and also to be an invitation for the listeners to really claim that and to help them commit as well to something that is truly empowering for themselves in the planet. Yeah. I mean, if I were to simplify it, I'd say I'm a real stand for love. And that might not be easy for people to grasp or unpack or understand. So an easy way to perhaps discern that in people's life is at least don't bring harm. If you don't quite know what love is, then at least notice where is the presence of abuse and do everything you can to remove that. Right. So if we were to look at the cascade of like from harm and abuse and suffering, we could go through sort of the neutrality. The neutrality

of no harm, right, which is way better. And if there was a continuum, some sort of gradient, a gradient towards a higher, more just society with harmony and peace, then love we could say as at the far end. And sometimes it's difficult, right, for people to go from A to Z. So at least find where there is the presence of abuse or harm in your life. And, even there there's gradients right like it's easier to look at the harm and abuse that you are bringing to your kid to your spouse to your parents and it may not be physical oftentimes sadly it is so at least let's get rid of that but then if it's in language where are you making people wrong let's get rid of that right that's a form of harm that's a form of abuse even if it's not spoken

even if it's just felt because they are not necessarily the quote unquote victims of your judgment, but you are, right? As Shakespeare again said, he said, hatred is a curved blade, right? So if you're carrying, quote, quote, the poison of judgment towards another, then you're the one harming yourself. So now let's get rid of that.

Then at least we were on a beautiful trajectory towards what I would have said, as I said at the beginning, as being a stand for love. And sadly, again, like, I think I've referenced it even in our first podcast together, there's a video out there called Step Inside the Circle, where this woman goes into jail, incarceration facilities and works with usually men, but who have, you know, they're inmates

for however many years, sometimes life sentences, and puts them all in a circle and then says, you know, ask a series of questions, and if it's a yes to the question, they step inside the circle. And it's like, you know, were you raised by one parent, where either of your parents' addicts, or either of your parents, like, you know, abusive, or either of your parents in jail, You start to see by virtue of the steps that everybody's taking that those men, those beings, those little boys were never taught the language of love. And albeit it does not condone whatever they've done in reality in a society we have our rules and regulations. There's consequences. There's consequences of actions.

But it does breed compassion because you realize that just as people would understand that you would never berate somebody if they didn't know how to speak French, if they were brought up. in Minnesota because it was not a language they learned that I think albeit maybe seemingly oversimplified the same holds true for the emotional state of the capacity to love if you weren't given the role models to mimic what it meant to be loved because you were never nurtured you were never held you were never acknowledged you were never told that you're you know the best thing that ever happened to somebody then why would you be expected to be able to extend that and pay it forward to another person. So ultimately what it comes down to is, as Burke Bokerak said, what the world needs now

is love, sweet love, right? That's really where we're at, is and hopefully all of the gong jo shit show that I often speak about is really the catalyst for us to recognize the injustice, the absolute insanity of the abuse that is so prevalent in the world, really is hopefully to have. that revelation of wait, this, this don't work. And maybe this podcast is a nudge in the direction of somebody finding a little bit more love for their partner, a little bit more love for their parents, a little bit more love for themselves.

And as a consequence, we just made the world all bit perhaps, you know, intangibly, measurably, you know, small is more loving. Peter, the work that you're doing in the world and just, I love our conversations offline and online so much. you're doing very much that. You're helping remind and bring a space of love and remembrance really to our true nature, which is that love at scale. And so I'm just so looking forward to your book that comes out whenever it comes out, hopefully next year sometime, 2024. Yeah. Excited for that. And the myriad of continual podcast and content that you put out there. But what I think is an

interesting reflection and something that can also be a point that the listeners can reflect on as well as who I feel like you are for yourself inherently that vibration, that frequency, that resonance is the contribution to the collective, not just what you do, what you say, what you share, but like the vibration that you carry with yourself is as arguably the most worthwhile contribution that you have. So, yeah. Thank you, my man. That means a lot coming from you and beautifully articulated and you know like anyone else i'm just doing the best they can you know maybe i'm a little ahead of some people or maybe not some others but um it took me a while to realize that you know and i can remember a distinct moment many years ago where i'd gone through a breakup and it was very

difficult for me and i'd always had the narrative of lofts as a source of my suffering by virtue of my parents dying and this sort of brought that back to the surface and one of at the time one of the reasons the catalyst for my own tears was the fear that, you know, I was too caring, you know, and it's like, you know, why, why do good guys end up last, you know, especially as it relates to romantic relationships? And I went to bed, tears in my eyes, and then I woke up at three o'clock in the morning, bolt upright, and everything shifted, because I realized, wait, I was looking at my capacity to care as a potential detriment to my ability to get what I want in life. And it was all from the perspective of self.

And I realized, no, actually my superpower is how much I care. And then to not be worried about the outcome so much as just to maintain the energy of caring, which is synonymous with love. And I really could feel like the cogs of the universe adjust as I owned the fact that I'm someone who gave a shit. That powerful distinction between caring and worrying that you give, you know, there's the saying of nice guys finish last. But that choice to be able to carry. the loving care that you have for people and what you do in recognizing that as a power is such an incredible shift

that I think will really resonate with the listeners as well. Yeah, and it's something a friend of mine shared recently that I want to just, you know, share with the audience as well because I think it's associated with that caring is, you know, these two guys die and they go to the pearly gates and St. Peter's standing there like it is, you know, his little desk and he's like, you know, come on in and they're both waiting their fate, right?

But St. Peter says, well, where do you want to go? And they're looking at each other like, what do you mean? Don't you decide that? He's like, no, no, no, no, heaven or hell. It's up to you. It's all a choice. And, you know, so the first guy goes, fuck, I'm going to heaven. And he goes.

And then the second guy sits there for a minute. And he says, you know what? I'm going to go to hell. And St. Peter's like, okay, fine. And why is that? He says, well, I feel like in heaven there's nothing to do. do right everyone's just like love and life and like

I want to make a difference and I feel if I go to hell which I would assert is sort of not dissimilar to the dimension we're in then I have the ability to eradicate suffering I have the ability to bring love and in this case caring

to those perhaps like the men who were stepping inside the circle who didn't have the benefit of what heaven might look like but perhaps as Milton said you know the mind is a place within itself and it can make heaven of hell or hell of heaven. So I realized, thankfully, for my own sanity, that my caring was a superpower

and perhaps it gives me the ability to make heaven of hell. So beautifully said and articulated this whole conversation and gave me a lot to ponder on as well of just our place in choosing to go into duality, which is the dimension that we're in, to then go and reflect and reveal these self-limiting beliefs and where we're still stuck and ultimately on that process of awakening ourselves,

we then become a beacon and lighthouse for so many others to become and realize their own. Or we're just fucking idiots. Or we're just blabbering. Just making a lot of noise and hopefully giving people a bit of a chuckle. Well, I don't think so. I think, I mean, hopefully the chuckles are there. Everybody that's been tuning in,

please let us know what stuck out, what really landed in your heart. these conversations are always so moving for me and for those individuals that are tuning in across the world right now. We feel the collective Sangha community resonance that is rising as these conversations are shared and that these insights are had. And just a reminder that you make an incredible difference. And Peter, thank you for all the reflections today. Thank you. Much love to you and everyone. Yeah, everyone can find Peter.

link down the description below petercrone.com at peter crone yeah and uh i have a feeling this won't be our only podcast together in the future no we come for the triumvir we'll come for the third and to be continued yes absolutely do we get this freaking shit show figured out all right thank you all so much for tuning in to this episode of the know they self podcast and until next time be well