Know Thyself - E68 - Marisa Peer, No. 1 Therapist: How Our Words & BELIEFS Powerfully Shape REALITY

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

World Renowned Hypnotherapist and Author Marisa Peer reveals how to use the power of belief and language to create the life of your dreams. Having coached Hollywood celebrities, CEOs, royalty, and sports stars - Marisa shares the common things that hold most people back from achieving greatness. She explains how to rewrite negative thinking patterns and create a new story for yourself.  She also discusses her "I am Enough" movement, revealing that at the root of most problems is the belief of unworthiness. And when we learn transcend that, we step into a new reality. Marisa shares how she overcame some of her personal struggles including infertility, cancer, and getting run over by a car. She also explains why hypnosis is a powerful tool that the best athletes in the world are using, and how you can start using it today. ___________ Timecodes: 0:00 Intro  2:10 Power of the subconscious mind  4:02 Exposing Ourself to the Fear Frequency  6:29 Impact of Negative Thoughts  9:42 How to Get Out of a Negative Mindset  14:30 Recognizing & Healing Repressed Emotions  19:24 How We Inherit our Parents' Shadows  23:26 Choosing a New Story & Questioning Old Beliefs 29:22 The Root of All Our Problems: "I’m not enough" 33:03 Why We Self Sabotage & How to Stop Doing It 42:51 Self-Sourcing Your Power & Meeting Your Own Needs 47:22 Affirmations Won’t Work: Try This Instead  53:54 Letting Go of the Past and Embracing a New Future 56:43 Facing Cancer, Infertility, and Run Over By a Car 1:03:01 Shifting Toxic A Body Image  1:06:34 The Secret to Growth: Facing and Embracing the Unfamiliar  1:15:48 How Our Friends & Family Influence Us 1:18:49 Making Subtle Shifts For Major Changes 1:21:30 Bringing The Future Into the Present  1:25:48 Why Billionaires Are Still Struggling 1:28:47 10x Your Life to Attract Money & Success 1:34:21 Marisa's Tools for Overcoming Any Block  1:35:35 How Hypnotherapy Works  1:38:58 The Best Time of Day to Do This Work 1:40:46 Conclusion ___________ Marisa Peer is a globally acclaimed therapist, best-selling author, and award-winning speaker. Her mission is to spread the message that there are simple, rapid, and effective techniques everyone can use that can truly change your life. Having helped clients, including Hollywood celebrities, CEOs, royalty, and sports stars for over 30 years, She created Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT®) to make these techniques available to everyone. RTT® now trains thousands of therapists each year, creating a ripple effect of transformation worldwide. She also dedicates her time to developing powerful self-hypnosis programs designed to release common blocks people face in every area of their life, from self-confidence, weight, relationships, finances, and much more. Her latest program, Dietless Life, is perhaps my most exciting yet. Dietless Life helps you powerfully update how you think about food and weight loss for good and is supported by a free information group. A best-selling author of five books, you may also know her from starting the I Am Enough movement. Website: https://marisapeer.com Free Meditations: https://marisapeer.com/free-gifts/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marisapeertherapy/ Become an RTT® Therapist: https://go.applyrtt.com/join-rtt-social/?utm_source=MPInsta&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=everygreen ___________ Download André's FREE Book Recommendation List: https://www.knowthyself.one/books Know Thyself Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/ Website: https://www.knowthyself.one Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ4wglCWTJeWQC0exBalgKg Listen to all episodes on Audio:  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4FSiemtvZrWesGtO2MqTZ4?si=d389c8dee8fa4026 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/know-thyself/id1633725927 André Duqum Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreduqum/ Meraki Media https://merakimedia.com https://www.instagram.com/merakimedia/

80% of your success comes down to having an I'm worth it mindset. If you can wire that into you, then you'll be successful. Imagine you said every day, this commute is killing me, my boss is driving me crazy. Your subconscious mind is feeling that something's killing you, something's driving you crazy. Your words directly affect your physiology, your immune system. So everything is affected by your thoughts. Whatever you focus on, you get more of it. We've got to learn, well, let's focus on something better. My daughter was grown up. when I was told I had cancer. It was the decision to not let it in.

And, of course, when I got run over, same thing happened. My doctor said, you wouldn't want to walk for six months, but that was so boring for me. So when he said six months, in my head I decided to hear six weeks. Your job is to think better thoughts

so your brilliant mind and body can start to make them real. If you have that passion to 10x your life, then it's already in you. The only thing that ever hold you back are your beliefs. That isn't about going to college getting a degree or coming from money. It's about having an idea.

So you're going to learn to reframe your thoughts, your beliefs. Refram everything and it would change your entire life, but not just for a little while, but for all of your life. Hello, beautiful beings and welcome back to the Know They Self podcast for every single week. We get the honor and privilege to sit down with a brilliant mind to learn more about the true nature of self and the world around us at deeper and deeper levels. My guest today is one of the world's leading hypnotherapists. She's a best-selling author of multiple books,

and she works with some of the most prestigious individuals on the planet. She's the founder of the I Am Enough movement and a rapid transformational therapy or the RTT method, and she trains thousands of therapists around the world every single year. Marisipir, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I'm on it. I'm glad to. Yeah, my pleasure.

Really looking forward to diving into so much of your brilliant work and how you share with the world is I feel you're doing such important work. And where I want to start today is the power of the subconscious mind. Because most people are familiar with our conscious waking mind. We can choose, I like this, I don't like that. We can accept and reject. But the subconscious mind cannot reject. It always has to accept.

As you say, it's always on record. And so why does that become a powerful realization when we want to become conscious creators and choose the path of life we're in? Because as we discern what we do and don't expose yourself to, we can then choose the effects and the ripples that that subconscious mind, you know, carries throughout our whole life. So, yeah, how important do you feel like it is to guard our subconscious mind and choose what we expose it to? Well, the subconscious mind is a feeling mind. It's not really the thinking mind. It's designed to feel. So if you say, oh, God, I feel so

nervous, then you're going to feel nervous. If you say, I feel so excited, you're going to feel excited. So the great thing is that you can guide the subconscious. You should really be the CEO of your own subconscious. mind. And of course, how it works is the subconscious mind is the feeling mind. So we have thoughts, feelings, behaviors. They go in that order. First you think of thought, then you feel a feeling, then you act in a certain way. Many schools of thought are busy trying to change your behaviors or indeed your actions, but you always need to go back and just change your thoughts. They always come first. If you think, I'm terrified of flying, you can change that to wow.

It's the one time in my life I get to do sit down, do nothing, read a book, someone brings me dinner, don't even have to answer my phone. So you just got to keep changing your thinking and a belief is nothing more than a thought you think a lot. If you change your thoughts, you change your beliefs, then you change your feeling. So the subconscious mind doesn't think it only feels, but it feels in accord to what you tell it. So when you say, this is a nightmare, this freeway is killing me, this commute is making me go crazy, I'm stressed out with things, I'm dying under the pressure, or even I'm killing it, the mind doesn't literally work out what that means. It just feels it. So there's the thoughts that we think and how that affects the subconscious mind,

but then also what we expose her to in the external world. I'm curious what you feel like exposing yourself to drama, gossip, even like scary movies. It feels like that frequency gets imprinted on our subconscious mind. It's a really bad idea to watch a crime show before you go to bed at night. The last thing you do before you go to sleep is what you'll think about a lot. So if you expose yourself to drama, to negativity, to gossip, to criticism, if you expose yourself to like news and listen to bad stuff and wake up and put on the news and come over on the news and always talk about how terrible everything is,

whatever you focus on, you move towards, you can't keep your mind in two lanes. So here's a lane that says, I'm super positive and happy. And here's another one that says I'm anxious and nervous and affected about everything going around me. Well, you can't go in both lanes. You've got to go in one lane. So we have to choose which lane am I going to go in?

Shall I not listen to that or shall I think something else? Can I choose to not be around that? Because if you're not choosing to change, you must be choosing to stay the same. And one of my favorite expressions is I'm choosing to do this and I'm choosing to feel great about it. That directly says to your mind, oh, you have a choice. You're making a choice. If you say choosing not to have coffee with sugar in it and I'm choosing to love it, I'm choosing to have fruit instead of cake, choosing to love it,

choosing to go to the gym and choosing to love it, you don't think, oh, I don't really want to be here because you're signaling to your mind very clearly. I have a choice. I'm making this choice, and I want to stay here. And so it's very important. So imagine if I pulled out a needle right now, the hypodemic needle.

That doesn't mean anything. If you're going to have a tattoo, you love that needle. If you're in pain, you love that needle. If you want some Botox, you love that needle. Or you could go, oh, my God, that's going to be a tattoo. going to hurt that's going to go on my arm or my gum. Same thing if I had a bit of a lump of meat in my hand. It's not the meat. If you're a vegan, that would be offensive. If you're a Hindu, it would be really offensive. But if you're into keto or bodybuilding, it'd be really exciting. So it's never the

thing. It's how we think about the thing. And we get to choose how we think about the thing every day. And so we've got to constantly upgrade our thoughts. You're all busy upgrading our software and our computers and phones, but you've got to upgrade your own software too. And when you do that, you'll win at life all the time. The effect that the negative thoughts we have about ourselves and the world, we're not aware, and it's kind of often delayed in terms of how it impacts our physiology, right? We might feel a little bit more anxious or sad at the moment, but as those negative thoughts start to build over time, they can manifest in a more dense illness or something like that. And so I'm curious for you to share just the negative repercussions that negative

thoughts have on our physiology. Yeah, well, so if you think negative thoughts, such as, you know, terrible exams, I'm really bad at confrontation, I'm not good around people, I've got an awful memory, then your mind is going to try and get you out of that situation. And it does affect your physical, but it also affects your physical health. Imagine you said every day, this commute is killing me, my boss is driving me crazy, and my customers are the customers from hell. Your subconscious mind is feeling that something's killing you, something's driving you crazy, and the subconscious is feeling I'm going to go, okay, I'm going to give you a lovely ulcer, I'm going to give you panic, it's going to be chronic diarrhea, and now you can't go to that

place that you say is killing you. So you always have to go back to the thought first. In front of anything, there's always a thought. And when you think negative thoughts, like, oh, the weather is depressing, the country is depressing, people are depressing. You'll take on that physiology of being down, you know, we say I'm so down, I'm so low, or we say I'm so high, I'm so up. So your words directly affect your physiology, your immune system, your gut, your metabolite, your skin, everything is affected by, because your skin is nothing more than the largest organ in your body. So everything is affected by your thoughts. And if you could look inside and see the effect, your thoughts have on your body, you stop yourself thinking negative thoughts. Because, of course,

you can choose to say, I've got a great immune system, I've got a terrible immune system, I've got a sensitive stomach, I've got great digestion. We're all free to choose. But if you could see what the negative thoughts did to your body, because it is not free to choose. Well, you can choose to say anything. Your body has zero choice but to act on the words. You say, and if you could see the damage that does, you would stop very quickly. doing that. I give you an example. I went to the doctor who said, you know, I say, every day, this is doing my head in. This is doing my head in very English. And I got a brain tube and I knew. I knew it with that language. I was someone who had chronic gut problems.

And his expression was, I'm losing my shit and I lost my shit last week. And I'm going to lose my shit again tomorrow. I said, stop saying that. It's such a horrible thing to say. By the way, you know, clearly it's not true. You'd be wearing black Levi's and not carpy pants. So it's obviously not real. But when you keep saying that, Like Americans say this word killing it. Oh, I'm killing it. I'm going to kill it. You're killing it here.

We should really have something. What does that actually mean? Do I really want to be killing it? Probably not. So the simplest thing is to look at the words and just take out. Like this is driving me insane. It's a challenge. This is making me go nuts.

It's just a temporary situation. It's very easy to minimize the powerful stuff and maximize the good stuff. So those negative thoughts are so subtle and insidious and they are so familiar to us. I'm curious how, so is your process of rewiring that patterning than just every time you catch yourself to bring awareness to it or is there a deeper way to be able to switch that pattern of negative thinking? Well, there's a few things. First, you use hypnosis and go back to how, where, when, why you learn to be negative.

No one is born negative. No baby says, oh, I don't have any hair. I've got any teeth. I've got these triple knees here. babies are born full of tremendous self-belief. So the first thing is, where did you get that negative language from? Because once you understand it, you have the power to change it. You can also just say, hey, I know my friends have pointed out, I'm always saying this one thing.

Like my little girl and I said, Mommy, how does Philippa get up the wall? And I'm like, well, I don't know, darling. But she said she's going to go up the wall if we get crayons in the carpet. And of course, children don't understand what up the wall is. And so I remember my friend saying that to me, you know, that her kid was driving her insane. I'm like, this kid that you wanted so badly is not driving you insane. Your words are making you insane. So it does take just a little while to pay attention.

We tend to use the same language all the time, the same 12 to 15 words to describe something. And if you hang around someone who doesn't, you think, oh, I'm going to use your language. I notice that you say, this is a challenge, this is a situation. a thing, this is an opportunity rather than, oh my God, this is hell. You know, I was on a plane a couple of years ago and this woman came back to her seat and actually screamed. So, he went, oh my God, disaster. Stewart's, what is? He said, my movie didn't pause when I went to the toilet. It's like, is that really a disaster? Is that really something to scream about? Isn't that just mildly inconvenient? Because when you say to the brain, disaster, hell, nightmare,

you have to react as if you're in a nightmare, in a disaster in hell. And we talk about hell being the line in the store on Christmas Eve. Well, hell is actually having no money to go to the store, having no one to buy food for. We don't know what hell is the freeway drive to work. Actually, hell is having no job and no car and no money for gas to go to work. So one of the best things I find is to sit down and think, hey, you know, what I keep calling hell in a nightmare. Is that someone's fantasy dream come true? Their kid keeps them up all night,

their partner leaves their pants on the floor. Would someone go, I'd love that problem. In fact, I'd give anything for that problem. And what would you have given 10 years ago to have that problem? Your partner's knowing your kids gets peanut butter on the kitchen counter. The mortgage has gone up. Because often what we call hell is someone else's fantasy. And when you start to think about that,

it really reminds you to stop using negative words. words for just everyday stuff like traffic lines in the bank, the fact that everything's going up in price, the fact that people are aggressive, you have to sort of change that and realize that see, one of the rules of the mind is whatever you focus on, you get more of, if you have someone to stick a needle in your arm and you look at it and think it hurts, if you look at your phone or even cough as a needle goes in, you won't even notice it. So whatever you focus on, A, you move towards and be you get more of. So we've got to learn, well, let's focus on something better. Yeah, it feels like we're just so lazy with her language at times. And even if it's in this sarcastic

tone and perhaps a jovial spirit where we have these terms, it's like the mind is still picking up on those words. Yes, if you say, I'm ancient, I'm falling apart, or I'm rubbish, or I'm the size of a house, or I'm eating like a pig and I'm a train wreck, the subconscious mind has no sense of humor. All it has an ability to think your thoughts. So you think your thoughts, that's your job. But your mind's job is to make those thoughts rules. So if you thought about something very sad now, your eyes might fill up with tears, even if you're at home. Think about something deeply embarrassing. You might go bright red. Think of food and your stomach will rumble. And for guys, as you think about sex, your body gives you a very physical reaction. Every thought you think

creates a physical reaction and an emotional response. And so if you think about what you think about a drug or have more of an effect on you than what's in that drug, the placebo effect is the most powerful proof of what we think our body makes well. So if our body's job is to make our thoughts well, then we must have a job too,

and our job is to think better thoughts all the time. And of course it starts being what you do, but very quickly it becomes who you are. Your job is to think better thoughts, your brilliant mind and body can start to make them real. You spoke to how oftentimes these negative thoughts or patterns kind of originate from deeper childhood things, right, and these beliefs that are formed that limit us. Yeah. And so you also, I've heard you share this expression about our repressed emotions, which are deeper seated, that when a feeling not expressed in tears will make

other organs weep. Yeah, I love that. And so can you share more about how these repressed emotions can then manifest in physical illness? Yeah. So I was in Mexico last week. And I notice, you know, every time someone serves it, say thank you, they go, nanada, don't mention it. And what they're saying is, don't praise me, don't thank me. And even that, don't mention it was nothing. So weird that we allowed. So when someone serves me and I go, thank, that was great. I want them to say, thanks so much.

I really enjoyed making that for you. I'm so glad you liked it. I don't want someone to say, don't mention it, because I want to mention it because I know that the fastest way to grow someone's self-esteem is by praise. So first we have this cultural thing. don't mention it. You say someone, hey, I love that talk. You gave, oh, it was terrible. Didn't you notice? I'm speaking to you quickly. I forgot the best. We had to want to Britain read. I don't know. I thought you were great. So we have this cultural thing of denying praise, minimis. Don't mention it. It was nothing. You got someone to give the, you shouldn't have done that. I don't really deserve it. So we're very good at minimizing it.

And then secondly, we really don't understand the long-term effects of doing that because the fastest way to grow your self-esteem, bar nothing is by praise. You know, self-esteem, if I say, I hold you in the highest esteem, that's what I think of you, but self-isimbaugh, I think of me. And so we're not taught, and we should be taught, hey, let's all grow our self-esteem today. Let's all believe in ourselves. Let's be confident. I think I've put our TT now into about at least 2,000 schools and counting, and all the schools that use it say, wow, these children. These children do better academically because they feel better emotionally. Bullying doesn't exist.

They're competitive in a good way, but they're also very supportive of each other. And so we know that schools like Steiner and Mozart already do that don't have this awful thing about kids picking on each other. So we know it works, but we have to go back to where did we learn to be so down on ourselves? And we learned it from our culture. We learned it from teaching. You know, don't show off.

Don't draw attention to yourself. Don't be big-headed. We learn that from our parents. But now we also learn it from the media that is very into making everyone compare themselves. There are sites you can go and say, hey, what am I? They go, oh, you're a three. You're a four. You're definitely not a ten.

And it's so damaging because comparisons, of course, the thief of joy. And how can you compare yourself or unique? I couldn't compare myself to you because you're totally different to me. And I think the school system is so damaging. I think in the next 10 years it's going to change so radically because the school system does streaming. And that's the worst thing you can do for a kid because the school system rewards achievement, never effort. You may get one kid who spent six hours on a project and a naturally gifted kid who spends 10 minutes and they get the prize. And you should never reward achievement.

You should reward how much effort you put in. So a lot of our, I mean, I see with my clients, especially so much damage done by teaching. who don't mean badly, but they say things like, well, your brother could do this, or had your sister in my class, she was really bright. What happened to you? Why can't you get this? And for children, when the teacher or the parent indeed doesn't appear to able to meet their needs, the child can't think, oh, my teacher's going through the menopause, my mom's having my dad's drinking, my mom's depressed, my mom lost her job. All they can think is, I'm not good enough. So when a child's needs aren't met,

more in school, they don't stop loving their parents, they immediately stop loving themselves. And that's when we begin this process of, oh, my mom is unhappy, I guess I'm not enough. My dad's not here. I guess I'm not enough. My teacher's very ill. I guess I'm not enough. And so children can't work out that it's, you know, we think we're born to adults, but actually the people raising us are growing up right next to us.

They often are not developed, not mature, not sorted out, not evolved at all. And they're often growing up alongside us with many issues. But no one tells kids that. They go, you know, adults know everything, respect your elders. But they really don't know everything. And I say to say to my clients, you know, you're smarter than your parents. Your parents are more immature than you. And that gives them the freedom to go, yeah, you know, that's true.

I thought it must be me. But actually, it wasn't me. it was then. So then that like after a decade or two of those repressed emotions continually building on top of each other, people might have, you know, a serious physical illness that manifests. Oh yeah, huge. And I know a lot of your work is like kind of getting to the root of it, which is really in the subconscious mind of these deep-seated kind of stories that we hold about ourselves that manifest into the actions that we take and then therefore the illness that people have. And also someone else's story. So many times we're living our parents. My mother might have said, you can't trust

anyone. One of my clients said, my dad, assuming that was a jump and I'll catcher. I jumped. He walked away. He said, that's a lesson to you. You can't trust anyone. Don't trust anyone. But that was his father's story. So your mother may say, all men let you down, make your own money, never depend, look at me, don't be like me. And very often we hear someone else's story, especially our parents. You can't trust people. People are going to use you. You're never going to be anything unless you work for yourself. And we make someone else's story, our story. Like I'll say, my mom said you couldn't even trust your own shadow. But that's one of our biggest challenge is someone else's story. Your story is your story is your story to edit, update,

rewrite and change. You might go, you know, I was the fifth girl. I should have been a boy. I was a third boy. My parents wanted a girl. But that's their story. Your story is you were meant to be you. you were meant to be here. You can't be the wrong baby. My parents are academics. They didn't really want. One of my clients said that her parents told her we had you to take over your father's law firm. Only child, and she heard that every day we spent all this money on your school. She, I don't want to, I want to be a DJ. And she ended up getting chronic migraines so bad because she didn't want to take over this law firm. Why should she? And eventually her father, instead of saying my daughter's going to take over, the firm began to say,

she couldn't even be a waitress. She gets these chronic migraines, you see, and she could never go to court and do what I do. And so when you say to the mind, I don't want to do that, but I don't know how to get out of it, the mind will come up with fascinating illnesses. You know, I met someone who had hypersensitive delight

and would burn all over her body. She couldn't even go out in daylight. But when we talked about it, she said, you know, when I was a kid, I was so badly bullied, and I said to my mom, can I stay home? She said, don't be ridiculous. I can't stay home. I hate my job. Of course you can't stay home. You've got to go to school. Bullying got worse and she asked again, Mom, can I stay home?

And she said, no, you have to go to school. There's no choice. And I said, what did you think? She said, well, I just thought of thought. I wish I could stay home every day and never go out of the house. But that's not a thought. That is a direct instruction to my, hey, mind, find a way. I can stay home and never leave the house. And then she developed this high percentage of delight. She could never go out. And when she went back and looked at that and started to go, but that isn't me anymore, I don't live with my mom.

I have a job I love. I mean, she was a coach. She only worked at home on a screen, but she realized that she made a choice as a tiny child when she lived in a world of feeling and not logic because before the age of five there is no logic, just feeling. I mean, she was older than that when she said, I just want to stay home.

But this is the genie and your wishes that's come on. When you say things like that, I don't want to get bullied, I don't want to fail that exam, I don't want to go to school and have no friends. The mind thinks, let me act on that. How about a lovely stomach upset? How about a chronic bout of diarrhea? How about an autoimmune disease? And they can't go to school and you can't get bullied, which is why you're going to be very careful

for what you ask for, because the mind, which is a feeling one, will go ahead and find that for you. Yeah, I think that's saying that mind is a powerful servant, but a horrible master. Yeah. So these lies that we hold, the stories that are passed on to us, it's upon us, we have the ability to rewrite that narrative and heal the bloodline so we don't pass it on to the next generation.

So I'm curious what you think about, of course, telling yourself an empowering lie is better than telling yourself a disempowering lie. What about stepping beyond the need to tell yourself any story about life. What thoughts do you have about that? Well, you should tell yourself a story about life. You should, because, you know, you've got a blank slate and you've got to form a story. So you could say, you know, people are good people, they're going to help me. If I go here and I get lost, I can say something, hey, could you direct me? Could you help me? Could you show me where to go?

Or you could tell yourself a story. I'll ask for nothing. And what you're going to get? Well, nothing, but I also won't be disappointed because I never ask. And so you have to form some kind of story. You have to form some kind of template. You have to start off as a little kid thinking, life is good and I'm a great person. I have a gift and I've got that gift to share it with the world. And when I grow up, I'm going to find love. I'll give you a simple example. I worked with this stunning client and it was really shocking that she'd never found love in her life. And she said, no, I never get on a second day. I don't know what's happening, but I can't find love. And it was something so simple. Her father used to say, every day, I love you so much and you'll never, ever,

ever, ever find anyone that will ever love you like I do. That wasn't a fleeting thought. That was repeated every day. Come in and say, I love you, you'll never find anyone to love you like me. Nobody could ever love you like me. And that went in at some level, and she formed a belief. I'll never find love the way my dad loves me. No man is ever going to love me like he loves me, which is a silly belief and a very unhealthy belief. And so what you should say to your chart is, I love you so much because you're lovable. In all your life, you're going to find love. If you're going to love you, like I love you because you're a lovable person. So there's one belief, I love you because you're lovable. And you're going to find love it. Here's another one. I love you because you're good,

because you're smart, because you're pretty, what the kid is, is, oh, and if I wasn't, you wouldn't, so I better be really smart, I better really always look good, I better always be good, or another belief, you will never love you like me. So you have three different experiences of what someone has told, and each one of those things will affect that child. So we have to make a decision. We have to start saying, I'm lovable just the way I am, I'm enough. You know, many, I work with so many people who have this belief. You've got to earn love, buy love, work for love, run after love. You've got to be good to have love. And if I have love, I'll be happy and I'm going to work for it. And that isn't true. You're lovable right now just the

way you are. And you won't be happy when you become lovable because you're already lovable. So it's like a loop, isn't it? I've got to find something out there, but I'm not sure I deserve it. and I'm going to chase it while believing I'll never get it. And that's one of the biggest things wrong with people. They have this belief I want something. It's not available. I'm going to go after it anyway. I want love and my dad left when I was two.

I want health, but I've got the depressive gene. I want to be healthy, but I've got the fat gene. And so it's almost like running with a big elastic band tied around. You can't go forwards unless you look at your beliefs. We all have beliefs that aren't ours. all you have to do is question your belief because when you question a belief, you really don't believe it. When your kids start to go, mommy, how do the reindeer get down the chimney?

How does Father Christmas get all around the world in one day? How does the Easter bunny get into the house? You think, you see, they question it. And often we tell, don't ask, we don't question. Some religions tell you don't question anything. Just believe what I tell you. But the minute you question a belief, you doubt it. And so that's how to get better, question your beliefs.

Who told me that? Was it true? And even if it was true for them, is it true for me? So when I was growing up, there was a very common belief. Smart women couldn't find a husband. No one's going to marry someone who's smarter than them, wealthier than them, because my grandmother's generation, that was their truth. You married a man and you stayed at home and looked after him.

And so if you were a smart, ambitious woman, you probably would be on your own. But that isn't true. And that hasn't been true for years. But we still have this, we still pick up these beliefs. You're finished when you're 40. You haven't even started when you're 40. If it really falls off a cliff when you're 30, actually falls off a cliff when you're 47, not 32.

You know, you can get pregnant right up until your late 40s. But if you listen to the doctors, you never believe that. And that, you know, here's a belief that's so nonsical. You have to go to college to become successful. But there's so many people now who never went to college. I have a friend of mine, and she's put computer screens all over Nigeria. They're wired into concrete. And these kids come from villages, and they educate themselves on a computer.

And some of them have created amazing things. Who would have thought you could make money by shaping eyebrows or making a ringtone or making that drink? What was that drink called that became a big? Was it pride or prime? Prime, yeah. And that isn't about going to college. a degree or coming from money, it's about having an idea and then having the confidence to monetize the idea. So confidence can take you further than a really high education. Self-belief can make

you wealthier than a degree. But it's only now that it begins to be taught with that and understand that that's true. Yeah, I loved everything you just shared. Funny you brought up prime because Logan, Paul, who's one of the founders of it, is actually one of my good friends. I lived with him for a couple years. I've shot a lot of things. One of the things that I really learned from him is that sometimes as you're speaking to, we can get what we want, but we will always attract what we believe we're worthy of.

Of course we will, yeah. 80% of your success comes down to having and I'm worth it mindset. I'm worth it, I deserve it, and I'm going to go out and get it. If you can wire that into you, then you'll be successful. So the I Am Enough movement is a big thing

that you kind of initiated and speaks to what so many people deep down feel like because of whatever narrative they got through their family or whatever, they just don't feel. And so many of us at times just don't feel like we're enough. We're not worthy of whatever we may truly desire in life. So how did that movement come about? You know, I've been a therapist in my entire adult life

and I realized very quickly that nearly all my clients, their issues would come back to not being enough. I worked with alcoholics, drug addicts, people are addicted to. shopping or even shoplifting. And of course, if you peel away what's going on, it's I need more because I'm not enough. I need more praise, more food, more cake, more drink, more drugs, more followers, because I'm not enough. So that was interesting.

And then, of course, I see a lot of very successful people who'd say the same thing. You know, I've got this Oscar, I got this award, I got this pay rise, I got this business, but I still think I'm not enough. And so I realize that if I'm not enough is the common denominator of our issues and surely flipping it and saying, I am enough, would change it. So I put the I'm enough into schools. I wear these I'm enough braces. I'm showing people there's so many ways you can put I'm enough into your life.

You can bake it into cookies, print it on your toast, write it on a blackboard. But you have to say it, state it, affirm it, embody it. Because again, if you wake up and think, I'm not enough, let we would go, back to that lad. If I think a thought, I'm not enough, then every feeling I feel is negative. I feel sad, disempowered, frustrated, angry, pissed off, defeated. So I thought of thought, I'm feeling feelings that match, so they're all negative. And then I'm going to act a certain way, which is often nowhere. I'm not going to take risk. I'm not going to ask someone out. I'm not going to ask for a promotion. And I'm justifying it because, well, of course, I can't do that because I'm not

enough. So there's thought, feeling behavior comes back to the thought, of course I didn't go for that. Of course, I didn't ask for that job. I didn't ask that person now. I didn't ever try to get my book published because I'm not enough. But if you just flip that to, I am enough, just take out the knot. I am enough. And every feeling you feel is different. You feel brave, courageous, reassured, confident, self-assured. And the actions you take are going to take a risk here? I'm going to ask that person. Now, ask for that promotion, ask for that pay rise, create my own business, find some joint venture people because I'm enough. So it's a loop, thought, feeling, behavior, thought.

And so I realized if I could just get all of my clients and say, I am enough, if I'm not enough, and to question, well, why do you think you're not enough? No babies are going to, I'm not enough. I haven't got nice clothes on here. I'm sleeping in a box and not a crib. In fact, babies like to be with their parents. They don't care about anything. It's being close to you.

So no baby's born with that belief. therefore it must have been acquired. And anything you require, you can let go of it. Anything you acquire, you can let go of it. I think that's just, of course. We know that, but like we also don't realize that all of these stories are acquired, you know. And so it's like we can always let go. I think of so much of the behavioral adaptations and the coping mechanisms that we enact

to keep us in homeostasis with our own view of ourselves. Self-sabotage is a huge one. If things start getting too well, and I have this perception that I shouldn't be doing that well, then I'm going to sabotage it. So what are some of those ways in which we can insidiously and without even really fully realizing we're doing it, keeping us stuck at our level of playing in life?

Well, the strongest force in every human being in the world, in you and me and all the viewers, is this we must act in a way that matches up how we have chosen to define ourselves. So you're going to act in a way that matches how you have chosen to define you and self-sabotage, procrastination, and nothing more than a different version of I'm not enough, I'm not enough.

So if I procrastinate and ever write that book, I never realize it was rubbish anyway. If I never finish my website, I can't be told, oh, it's terrible. So procrastination is self-sabotage because we're scared of not being enough. And of course, years ago when you were born, you had two drivers find connection, avoid rejection. That's how you'd survive on the planet. Can you say this to you again?

Yeah, so when we're born, we have a drive to survive. And how we survive is by doing two things. Even as a newborn baby, find connection. If you pick up a little baby, it clings onto you because it's finding connection, avoiding rejection. A baby will cry to find connection, avoid rejection. Because it wasn't that long ago, the rejection would kill you. You know, we used to banish people, cast them out, maroon them, isolate them. And so we knew long ago that survival is a numbers game.

And if I'm connected to my tribe, I'll make it. But if I act out and they banish me, well, I'm going to die. But we still have this belief, this tribal belief that if you reject me, it will kill me. Because it would have done a thousand years ago. So you have to go back and go, hey, could rejection kill me? Am I listening to these songs saying, I'll die if you leave me? I can't live with you. You're the only person who's all nonsense.

You have to think, okay, rejection can't kill me. In fact, rejection can be the best thing that ever happened to you. When your first partner dumps you, when your first job fires you, think, oh, God, I'm so glad that happened because I found something better. I'm so glad that person from school dumped me. I'm so glad I got fired from that job because it propelled me to something more. But you have to first understand the only person who has the power to reject you is you. Someone can say, you're not right with me.

I don't love you anymore. But actually, when you look back, you'll think, God, they did me a favor. So the first thing is to understand that we don't die of rejection and that we have to come to terms of the fact that we have the power to not feel rejected. Just because someone says, oh, I hate people say to me, I don't like your book.

I go, well, that's okay. I like it. Most people like it. There's always someone who's, you know, if you write a book, it's on Amazon you read the reviews, you'll get someone saying, I hate that person, I hate their accent, I hate the way they look. But I have a choice here.

I let that in. Shall I let that ruin my day? I go, well, they're about to have an opinion. I don't like everyone's book either. And you have to not take it personally. So I think when you can look back and go, look, I'm not going to die from rejection. I don't need everyone to like me. I need to like me.

I need to believe in me. Then you get away from this fear because all of our fears come down to one thing. You could reject me. and that would kill me. If you changed you could reject me and it'll make me stronger. Look at Eminem, you know, he wanted to be a rapper. He was a blonde guy with blue eyes and he was laughed off the stage again and again, and it made him angry.

But he had a belief, you can't reject me. I'm going to put all of that rejection into anger and be a better rapper. And then he became, Dr. Dre found him and he became amazing. But he had to understand that that audience can boo him and be horrible to him. be horrible to him, but they can't reject him unless he agrees with them. So if I said to you, well, I don't like you. I don't like anyone with green hair. You would never let that in because it's so clearly untrue. I don't have green hair. But if I said I don't like you because you're boring or you have no substance or you're not interesting, you might let that in. But why would

you do that? It's just an opinion. So we have to really learn to be good at saying, this is not about me. This is an angry person, a hurt person, a sad person, a critical person. You know, one of my clients who was a critic and had spent ages writing very witty criticisms, like someone wrote a book and he said, this book shouldn't be put down lightly and he'd just be thrown as far away from the unfortunate reader as possible. He was very scathing. But then he wrote his own book and it was slated.

He said, you know, I never realized what I was doing when I wrote my own book and it was slated. I realized what I done, thinking it was funny to review books and say this book is original, but the original part isn't funny and the funny part isn't original. Then you realize that you're hurting people. And of course, hurt people, hurt people, benevolent people are quite kind. And I can see you tried really hard. And a supportive editor will say, this is good, but, you know, we're not going to use that, but you can do better and they understand how to nurture you,

just like a supportive teacher. But we live in a world where there's so much criticism. And just as praise builds you up, criticism withers you. But self-criticism is far worse. You see, if I was horrible, you'd go, well, that Marisapir's had a bad day. She was really mean. She was quite off.

Probably had a bad day. You could work it out. That person who cut me in line on the motorway, maybe their kid was sick. Maybe they were rushing to get home. They probably weren't doing it deliberately. but when you criticise yourself, there's no agenda. You can't say I'm having a bad day.

So you've got to be really aware that the fastest way to build yourself up is to up praise and minimise criticism, minicise, you know, being down on yourself. Don't do that. Constructive criticism is fine. Like, you know, I could get there earlier. I could make more of an effort. I could spend 10 minutes every day planning my day, being more organized. But the criticism of I'm an idiot, I've got rocks or brains, everything I do falls apart.

We've got to really stop doing that culturally and globally because it's so diminishing. It is and gives other people permission to kind of go to that level and that frequency as well. I feel what we're kind of speaking to here is like these emotional triggers, when we feel triggered by what somebody says or does, it only kind of really can trigger us to the degree in which we believe it to be true about ourselves anyways, right? And so if somebody comes up to me and says that you're the most unkind, narcissistic, bigot, like, I see that more as a reflection of who they are. And of course, you don't want to be so self-aggrandizing that you can't listen to what other people are saying and reflect on whether it's true. But if you believe those things to be, of course, it'd be so defensive. But if you don't, if you know yourself to be a kind, genuine person, then you're not going to be offended by that. And that goes back again to, you know, you make your beliefs and then your beliefs make you. And then you look for people. proof, it was called confirmation bias. You make a belief, that belief will turn right around and make you, and then you look for proof. So if you say, I'm not very good with people, or I'm actually super boring, I've got nothing to say, you've made a belief, now that belief's

is going to make you, now you're going to go out and go, no one spoke to me, you see, because I'm really boring. That person walked away from me in that party because I already knew that I've got nothing to say. So you've got to flip it. I'm interesting. People like me. I like myself. Because that belief. believe, then you'll look for proof of that. And so, yeah, we very much react to our beliefs, but we forget that we're a blank slate that any time you can question a belief, change a belief, upgrade your beliefs by saying, well, why do I believe that? Who told me that? And were there? It's like saying, well, Adele should be super skinny to be a number one singer, but she wasn't.

And people liked her more for that. And so she didn't have to look like. like a size zero model to be a performer because she had the voice of an angel. But she could have thought, oh, do you, I need to lose a lot of weight and I've got to change. So whatever you believe, there's someone that would be total opposite of what you believe. You've got to be, look at Lizzo, you've got to be super skinny to be, so that's not true anymore. The belief you've got to come from talent, be a perfect 10 is not true. We've got so many people out there who are different, who are making. it. I love the fact we now have disabled models. We have

that girl I love who has the impotiga all over her body. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, you're talking about. Yeah. And there's another girl. There's a girl with Down syndrome in the UK who's been on the cover of Vogue. So whatever you believe, I think it's Shantel Brown. I think that's her name. I'm not the right person. And then Rupert friend's wife. There's another girl. She has no lower limbs. But that's an interesting. Nowadays, people with blades are running faster than than runners. So the belief that I'm disabled, we've got so many great things out there now to give disabled people the same chance to run, to walk, to move. So when you have this belief that I'm less

than, take a look at someone else who's made and think, oh, wow, that belief isn't even true. Again, you've got to challenge your beliefs. And the thing I find really damages people. It might help your audience a lot is that when we're born on the planet, when we're little babies, we're nearly have four needs. and our need is to be safe, loved, significant, and connected. That's all a little baby needs. If I'm safe and connected, maybe my mum isn't here, but the babies will look after me because I'm safe, connected, significant. Loved is important.

And that's all a baby needs. I need to feel safe, safe that you're not going to walk away from me, connect as you're going to meet my needs, loved and significant. And as we get older, we have those needs our entire life, but we have a few more, as well as safe, loved, connected, Sydney. We need to feel seen and heard, celebrated, have someone who's proud of us and feel that we matter. And what happens is for many of us, those needs are not met at all. Our parents are busy.

We go to when we feel different. And when our needs are not met, two things happen, only two. The first is we give the need up. I'm never going to find love. I try to got ghosted so many times. I'm never going to feel I'm mad or I've been fired from every job. And eventually we just think, okay, that's it then. I'm not going to try anymore.

I'm going to live at home with my cats and I'm just going to have a job that doesn't demand anything. And then I'm not going to have these needs. So we give up the belief that these needs are going to be met. The other group is something else. They give the need where they go like, okay, I'm going to find someone. They're going to meet all these needs. They're going to feel safe and loved and amazing.

And I'm going to go through their phone and check all the time. I'm going to say to my boss, Am I good enough? Are you sure? Did you like this? So we become very needy. We give the needs. Hey, someone out there, I don't really care who is going to turn up and meet all my needs. So I'm going to give the need up. I'm going to give the need away. But neither of those things work. What works is? Okay, let me go through those needs again. I need to feel safe, connected, loved, significant seen and heard praise. Can I do that myself? Can I say every day, hey, I'm safe to express my feelings. I've got something to offer the world. I'm lovable just the way I am. Because when you

start to meet those needs yourself, just by sitting and saying, I do matter, I am lovable, I am significant, of course, I can celebrate myself, I can be seen and heard. I can believe I've got something to offer the world. When you do that, it's the opposite of needy. And we can all do it, no matter how weird it seems, just go through those needs and keep saying, I am doing a stellar job of meeting those needs. I'm doing a brilliant job, an amazing job. And then instead of turning up in the world as need, you turn up in the world as self-assured because confidence is very reassuring. It's also very sexy. So you've got us think, okay, isn't anyone else's job to meet my needs? It's my job. It's no one else's job to make you happy. It's your job. Someone else's job to make you feel amazing.

It's your job. And that's good because you can do that job better than anyone else. One of those needs that really stuck out, especially within the masculine, but within all of humanity, runs that the need to be significant. And that, especially in the personal development world and industry, there is this constant harping on self-improvement. And you're speaking to a deeper level of transformation in your life that comes through self-acceptance. And so that's, I feel like a really interesting thing to, once you find profound self-acceptance in your reality, then your life will actually improve so much. Yeah, because you think of the opposite of significant is in. insignific. I felt so insignificant. I was made to feel that I just didn't matter. And the truth is, of course you matter. You're here. Even if your parents didn't want you, somebody wanted you to be here.

And here you are. And someone that wanted you to be here gave you talents and skills of your own. So when you feel insignificant, you can do some work and going, hey, just every day, if you just did this one thing, every day you woke up and said, I matter, I'm significant, I'm lovable, I'm enough. If you just said that every day, wrote it on your mirror, said it when you cleaned your teeth, said it over breakfast. And if you have kids, make them say it too, that small shift will change your entire life. Because when you state it, if I'm embody it, I matter, I'm significant, I'm love, or I'm enough, you're making a thought. And guess what, your body, not only has to make it real, it's starting to look for proof of why it's real. And whatever your mind looks through or fine.

So I want to talk a little bit more about these affirmation words because I feel like it can be kind of referred to in the personal development world is it feels almost like a little empty like almost to say like I'm worthy. I'm enough. I'm enough. I'm enough. You almost have to believe that you're not there to say it. And so obviously if you charge that with emotion, then it becomes transformative. So what do you think about the efficacy and the futility of affirmations? You see, I don't use affirmations. I use statements of truth. I much prefer statements of truth. So if I said if I had a kid and every day I made my kids say, I'm enough, I matter, I'm lovable and I'm significant, now I'm going to go, well, that's not true. Your kid doesn't matter. They're not enough. They're insignificant. So those particular statements are true. And you can argue against me. We can also argue for them. And so an affirmation, affirmation is great, but there's an affirmation here every day. and everyone getting better and better at what? Having tension headaches.

It's so ambiguous. It's so fluffy. It's every day and every way. I'm getting better and better. You can get better and better at shoplifting if you want to. So you want to be very aware that when you present something to the mind, if it doesn't make sense, it becomes senseless. You could say every day I'm getting attention again.

For what? Explosive gas. You've got to be very clear. So the statement of truth is every day. day, I feel lovable. And I find people who notice I am love. Every day I'm enough. And everyone else is enough. But every day I'm just saying, I am enough. Because how could you argue against that? It's true. So statements of truth are rather different because you can't really argue against them. So let's say we said the statement is, I'm lovable. You can say, but you're not really.

Because look, you know, you're a bit heavy. You haven't got any hair. You've got acne. But actually, so what? I'm so lovable. With all of the, with missing hair. missing limbs, I'm still lovable. So statements of truth are different affirmations because they're harder to argue against. You might say, well, yeah, I'm saying I matter, but I don't really matter, but you can matter to yourself and you can matter to someone. So statements of truth are better than affirmations because you pick words that cannot really be undone. So if you said, I'm lovable, someone might say, you're not really, but you're lovable. You're not really, but you're lovable to your cats, to your pet. You can always find someone or something that loves you. And if you

act in a lovable manner, then you'll feel lovable. Yeah, it feels like it's not just the words, but the place it's coming from, the state of consciousness. Yeah. The place it's coming from. Yeah. I find it really fascinating. About like six or seven years ago, I did this experiment actually. And Masaru Motta, who's done a lot of like research in the study, the structure of water and how the words in the energy. Oh, yes. I love that experiment. So I took basically these three bowls of rice. And I put, I love love you in front of one. I hate you in front of the other and then nothing in front of the third one. And every single morning and every single night for 60 seconds, my roommate, Luke and I would go and spend, just send and think loving thoughts towards the loving one, hateful thoughts towards

the second one, the third one we just ignored. After four days, and I'll put up images if I can find them on the screen if you're watching on YouTube and Spotify. But the I love you one was perfectly fine, almost just like you said. It was just rice and water. And the second one, I hate you, was like getting black and moldy and fascinating enough the third one was actually the worst yeah the one that we were completely ignoring yeah that's so interesting because our greatest fear is to be ignored because again if you're ignored you're insignificant you don't matter you don't feel enough you don't feel lovable you do that with water you can also do it with plants you can get to plant and go I love you I hate you and when you hate will start to weather you can actually if you listen to a recording of you

being applauded and then of being booed. They're being booed. Really, people react very badly to that indeed because it's rejection and the clapping is acceptance. But of course, again, you have to come back to the fact, can I applaud myself? Can I believe in myself? Can I sort of saying, okay, I need to hear these words. Who's going to give them to me?

Well, you. Happiness is an inside job. If you want to hear that you matter, you could say to someone, hey, can you make me feel something? They go, sure, I can tell you you matter. But they can also manipulate you into doing it. Or they could say, actually, I'm off and I've found someone else. You did matter, but I've replaced you, which is the worst feeling for humans to be replaced.

But if you can do it yourself, then no one can, you know, no one can ever take that way. When you fall in love with yourself, it's a lifetime of love. It never wanes. It never disappoint. You never says, you're disappointing me. So we have to really, you know, the word response level means an ability to rest. responsibility means an ability to respond. So you've got to respond to your own neediness.

And it doesn't mean when you meet your need, you become as it means that you elevate your sense of self-worth, self-value, self-image and self-esteem. And the whole world will join you at that elevated level. But you can't say someone, hey, could you make me feel good? Sure they could for a while, maybe for a long time. But then they have their own issues. When you go, okay, I'm going to make myself feel good. And then I can go to the world and be around other people who feel good.

without ever thinking, oh, they're doing their job. What if they don't want that job? I'm going to go back to being that person who can't meet their own needs. So it's very empowering when you can start to give yourself what you want. You wouldn't go, hey, who out there is going to feed me? I need to be fed. Someone's going to go, well, I have to feed myself. I can nourish myself with words.

It's like I nourish myself with food. So if you could all teach people, that's why. why I have so many schools. Having the kids are five, zero, I'm enough, I matter, I'm significant, I'm lover, will they say it, state it? They write little plaques for their desk, they do pictures and drawings of it, and what they're doing is becoming self-sufficient at managing their emotions rather than telling someone else who's going to have to do it for me. Yeah, it feels like it requires, for people earlier on their journey, kind of more jet fuel, like as a plane takes off, to get you to that state where then you don't have to use them as much

because it becomes your way of being. Yeah. Like with the example of those studies or like with plants and affirmations, I mean, we're 70% water, give or take. So imagine what is happening to humans and, you know, people during that process. I'm curious for you to share a little bit more about how, you know, often our greatest gifts and superpowers in life come through our greatest challenges. And so for your personal journey and your personal story,

what was like one or two pivotal moments that kind of led you down this path of sharing yourself in this way? I think for me it was a realization that nobody could reject me unless I gave them permission. So, of course, I went out on the limb. I wrote books. I created programs. I created the I'm Enough movement. I put RTT into schools. I did some challenges.

And people would say, but you're not a doctor. I go, yeah, lucky for me because a doctor is looking for broken limbs, of course. They're looking for diseased organs. I'm looking for disease thinking. And 70% of people turning up at the doctors don't have disease organs. they have disease thinking. And so I had to learn when someone would say, well, who are you to do this? It's like, well, who am I not to do it? Someone's got to do it. And so, of course, you'll always get critics. There's always going to be critics. But the trick is to not let that in and to carry on.

You know, I always say your past is like a bow and you're the arrow. And when you fire an arrow, the arrow goes, the bow doesn't come with it. The bow is left. No one says, where's the bow? They just go and get the arrow. The arrow has gone very far. So we have to think that we're the arrow and our pass is the bow. And when we move forward, the bow isn't coming with us. The bow is our childhood, our critical teachers, the things we didn't mess up. But nobody cares about the bow. They only care about the arrow.

So see yourself as the arrow moving forward and leaving the past behind which is your bow. Or think of your life as like a massive clock like that. And if your life was a clock, your childhood is the first seven minutes. You've got 53 minutes left to be amazing, to be free, to be amazing. empowered and it's a choice to go, well, but you see, I didn't have a dad, my mom, I was a mistake, I should have been a boy, should have been a girl, should have been an architect. Again, you've got 53 more minutes to just let all of that go. You're you and you can be whatever you want to be and do whatever you want to do if you

just leave the past behind. We have all these crazy stories like your school days are the best days of your life, but they're not. You don't get to choose what to eat, what to wear, what to study. Or it's all downhill once you go, but it isn't. It's amazing. So if you tell yourself school days are the best days, I'm going to say, oh God, my school days are awful. I was bullied. I couldn't read. I had dyslex. It was horrible. Some of us, it's amazing. But if it's amazing, then the rest of it all feels a bit disappointing. So if it wasn't good, you think, well, that's good,

isn't it? Because it can only be better. So you're going to learn to reframe your thoughts, your beliefs, reframe everything and it would change your entire life, but not just for a little while, but for all of your life. There's so much power in you reminding people that through conscious intention, you can heal yourself. And I know in your own personal journey, you've been through some really difficult things, through cancer, through your leg getting run over by a car. And for everybody that's listening to this right now, right, everybody is going through something that often nobody sees. Yeah, that's true. How did you, in those examples, really command yourself to heal? Well, the first thing that happened to me when I was about 25, I was that I thought I could

never have children. I was told you'll never be able to conceive a child, never carry a child to full term. And even if you could do that, you'd have a child that was handicapped. And it was amazing. I remember his little voice in my head said, don't let any of that in. And I realized then how important it was to not let that. And a doctor can give you a diagnosis, of course. That's their job, but my job is to decide what to do about it. And that little voicing, didn't, and it stood me in very good stead for my entire life. So I did go on to get pregnant very easily. I was told throughout it, oh, the baby's going to everything. And I had a perfect child. I mean, she was healthy, robust, nearly eight pounds. And I realized then that reinforced how important it is that I must

have agency over my thinking. It's not a doctor. It's I have agency over what goes into my head. And many years later, my daughter was grown up when I was told I had cancer. And it was interesting because I just couldn't believe I had cancer. I was so healthy, but I went to the doctors and I said, well, let me come back and she did this. She went, it has your address. It's really loud is it. She went, has your address. It knows where you live. It's probably going to, and I thought, what an awful thing to say. It knows your address. The cancer? It's going to come back. Yeah, she said, it has your address. It knows where you live. It's probably going to come back. I thought, gosh, this is a very nice doctor. But what kind of training is that to say that? I'm not letting

that in. And so again, it was the decision to not let it in and to think, okay, now it's up to me. And I was very lucky because I had, I think you call it endometrial cancer or uterine cancer. I thought, well, it's a stroke of luck because I don't need a womb. I've already had a child. And of course, they'd say things that, well, you know, we're going to take the womb out, but some of the cancer cells might spill out and then it can travel to your liver. So I imagine that my womb was wrapped in cling film that had a fortress, and then when they took it out, it was all gone. So it's like I had it and then I didn't have it because they just took my womb away. I was an organ I didn't need. I had no more use for it. But so even when you get a terrible diagnosis, you still have a

choice. What am I going to do with this? I'm going to go, my God, this is terrible. I'm going to die. Should I think, well, can I do anything about this? Can I change anything about it? Can I change how I feel about it? Can I look at many people who've had this and are still thriving and surviving? And of course, that's always a choice, isn't it? There are people who've had cancer for 50 years, and they're living an amazing life. And because, of course, whatever you look for, you're going to find what you focus on, you get more.

So I could focus on, wow, I've got that, and it's all over. I could focus, well, I've got that, but I don't have to have it for long, and I can talk to my body and tell it to repair itself because the body is very good at making natural killer cells that fight cancer. So I use a lot of imagining,

and visualising and imagining stuff. And, of course, when I got run over, same thing happened. My doctor said, you wouldn't want to walk for six months, but that was so boring for me. I decided to hear six weeks. He said six months.

It's so funny. The other day I looked at them and said, Marissa Pair. And I thought they said, it's a grafter. I thought, I was a grifter. But when I read it, I thought, well, that's nice.

I have a grafter. Because I've realized it said she's a grifter. But I didn't let it in. I mean, that's what they think I am. But I know that's not true. So when he said six months, in my head I decided to hear six weeks. And I would literally talk to my right foot, this foot, and command it, compel it, direct, it, instruct it to heal quickly. And I go to this technique called Dick Healing.

And it means direct, instruct, code, compel, command, and condition your body. Why did you call it that word? Because everyone remembers it. Everyone remembers what Dick healing is. It's a great energy. It's a great healing. And it's been amazing. And actually last week in Mexico,

I watched the interview, she said, and I healed myself of all kinds of painters and listening to you saying, I direct, instruct, command, compel and code my left foot to heal and look exactly like the rifle, all the ligaments, all the bones. Because what's happening is, again, I'm thinking of thought, but my body has to make that thought, really.

It's not like it has a choice. So when you think about healing, which is why healing is. So when you think about, okay, my skin is, healing. I've got amazing, I've got a great immune system in COVID. With all God, there's no line of defense, but there is. It's called your immune system. And if you believe I've got a great immune system, a phenomenal, dependable, reliable, and variable immune system, then your mind has no choice. It has to make that real. So of course, when you're saying, oh, my immunity is rubbish,

I've got a terrible immune. I get every cold going. If I look at uncooked meat, I get sick straight away. then of course you're also making it real. And so for me, it was a choice to think better thoughts. I knew that my body must make my thoughts real. So I knew that it was my job. I'd not go, oh my God, I got run over. It was terrible. I was thinking, well, actually it's quite lucky. I got run over in London, right outside my house or my family. I had medical insurance. I'd just come back from Peru. Thank God I wasn't run over there. I took all the good things about being run over. I got loads of time off. it was actually fine.

And actually one of the great things about being run over was that my doctor said, you've got to have to really use heavy weights now to build up your muscle. And I became addicted to heavy weights. As far as I was really into yoga. And now I love heavy weights. I'm really into pushing myself. Well, I wouldn't ever have done that if I hadn't been run over. So I found an extra joyful something that I'm now completely addicted to.

So you can always look for something good in anything, because whatever you look for, you're going to find look for how awful it is, how terrible, how annoying, or look for what's good in it. Yeah, I've heard you share about just how, because I think body image is a big thing, especially with women,

especially with social media and this highlight real in comparison. I've heard you share that the only way to have a body you love is to love the body that you have. And so shifting that perception of any event like you spoke to, but then also of self and of your own body, you know, it feels like very, it's like very slippery insidious the ego has like all these traps in which we're

kind of we have all this negative self talk like we talked to earlier and it's almost outside of the realm of awareness most of the time it's just kind of happening on my and it's such a sad thing that people are really down on their body. It's like I hate my legs, I hate my arms, I hate my thighs, I hate my

stomach, is that your body is the most mind-boggling thing you'll ever own in your entire life and you should celebrate that you've got it. I'd be so great for them. If you want a beach body, You will take your body to the beach, and you've got a beach body right there and then. But, you know, what is the beach body? And you've got to go beach body ready and summer ready and party season ready.

But if you could just stop and think, wow, I have this priceless thing called a body. And if I could just love it and respect it and appreciate it, it would be entirely different. Because you think, okay, I love this body. I'm not eating a donut for breakfast because that's not love. That's hateful. I'm a food lover. I go, no, darling, you're a food abuser. eating pizza and ice cream and donut and cake is not loving food, it's abusing food.

But if you start off with, wow, I've got this priceless thing. And if you just do a few nice things for your body, really simple, hydrate, put more healthy stuff in, move a little bit and get enough sleep, if you just do those four things, your body will do 404 things back. So it becomes this very symbiotic relationship where if you love the body you have, it will become lovable. to you because you're doing it with respect rather than disdain. And you're never going to get anywhere by hating yourself. You know, that perception of self, how we feel about ourselves as we move through the world. I've also heard you share how our feelings are essentially the images in our head and the words that we use. Yeah, the way you feel about everything. And I do mean everything is only ever down to two things. The pictures you make in your head and the words you say

to yourself, that's it. But those pictures are yours to change. The words are yours. to change. So if the way you feel about everything is down to the pictures and words, like when people say things like, oh, you know, look at that, I'm just hurtling through the air on a tin tube, you know, then of course that will make you feel uncomfortable. That's saying I'm hurtling through the freeway. No one says, I'm driving through it on a tin tube a little, but we're so scared of flying, but it's actually safer than being in a car. But again, it's the pictures we make. I'm going to fail the air. I'm going to fall apart. I'm going to go bright red. I'm going to lose my shit, we create these terrible pictures and words to really just describe something so simple

like being in the line in the store buying groceries, being on the freeway, going to work, going on a date with someone new, we talk ourselves out of it. And we all have a brilliant brain. When you have a brilliant brain, which everyone has, you can talk yourself into or out of anything. So you're going to think, am I talking myself into stress? Or can I talk myself? Am I talking to myself into failing or after, we're talking myself into succeeding or failing because it comes right back to the pictures you're making and the words you're forming, which are yours to change and upgrade all the time. If we're always attracting, you know, what we feel we're worthy of and oftentimes what we desire is kind of unfamiliar to us, right? We haven't yet experienced it.

If what we desire is continually in that space of the unknown, you know, why do we continually cling to what is familiar and how do you help people step beyond just what is known. That's such a good question. You know, what was familiar kept you alive? If you have a two-year-old kid, imagine you live out on the prairie with a two-year-old. And they only eat what they know. So when they go out on their own and they see bushes or berries, they only eat what they know.

And the familiar kept you alive. If you lived in a fort, you wouldn't go, I'm so bored of them. So I want to go meet those Native Americans over there because that wouldn't be safe. So what was safe was what was familiar. and known and comfortable, so we stay in our comfort zone. And of course, if you see a tour, they go, I don't want that, because I like pink yogurt in that white bowl with that blue spoon. And the minute you try to give them orange, I like the yellow,

but they don't want it, but that's only because it's unfamiliar, but that's what kept you alive, the same old, same old. So now it is actually a very vexing fact from most doctors and therapists that the brain is hardwired to only want what it knows. It's hard wire to avoid unfamiliar, to move back to familiar. But even though that's the truth, here's another truth. You can make anything you like familiar. After all, if you put a silicone on your finger and shove it in your eye, how unfamiliar is that?

I mean, I tried lenses. I put them in my mind to literally went WTF. What is that? Get it out of my eye. And my eye was watering. But eventually I could put that in without a mirror. I could take it off like that, which is super weird. To squeeze your own eyeball with nails is very.

unfamiliar, but if you use lenses all the time, it's familiar. So it is an absolute fact that the mind wants what is familiar. But here's another fact, you can make anything you like familiar. And if you want to learn that, start by praising yourself. The best thing you make familiar is praise. If you make self-prace familiar, it will change your life so powerfully. And then you can make stuff like going to the gym familiar or, you know, juicing or taking sugar out of your coffee, which feels weird. But if you do it, you think, oh, I can't believe I've drank that stuff. It now tastes disgusting. So we have a choice.

Let's make good stuff familiar and known and negative stuff, unfamiliar and unknown. So if you make criticism unfamiliar and praise familiar, you will win at life if that's all you ever do. And I really recommend you do that. Was an example of somebody making praise familiar? So many years ago, I worked with this very, very famous director who came to my house. And I happened to tell him how much I loved this movie. He said, it was terrible. Didn't you notice?

It was miserable. No, I loved it. Got an Oscar said, well, there were no good nominations that year. I said, but I also remember your second film. He said, there were even worse nominations. I said, oh, you can't let him praise. No wonder you are here with chronic depression. You cannot let him praise.

I'm going to say to you, I love that film that one. and I want you to say thank you. I love making it. You think I'd ask him to take a needle in his face because he found it very hard to say that. I said, you've got to make this familiar. You know, the depression that you're seeking help for is nothing more than that you cannot hear good stuff about yourself.

What to do with his childhood where he was diminished all the time? And his parents were horrible to him. But then he began to say, thank you so much. I loved making that movie. It gave so many people pleasure he got on Oscar. And it was hard for him, but he kept repeating it, because of course, it's not really hard. It's like if you go to hug something,

they go, I don't like being hugged, that's hard. I go, no, it's not hard. It's unfamiliar. I was teaching, actually. And one of the girls I was working with, she had an awful, awful life. And at the end, I said, everyone's going to come up and hug you. She goes, oh, no, no, it's very hard for me.

I said, no, it's not. It's unfamiliar. And at the end, she said, Marissa, why isn't the cameraman hugging me? And what about the sound man? I said, yeah, get in line. You see how quickly you made that familiar. And so it's not hard.

If you can say it's unfamiliar, being praised, is, being hugged, being loved is unfamiliar, being noticed, is unfamiliar. But I can make it familiar. You can make anything familiar, anything at all. If you lifted weights or had tattoos, if you shove a needle in, you know, I, when I had cancer, I had to inject myself in the stomach every day. And I hated that. But after a few weeks, I could just do it while I was watching TV because it was every day,

it became familiar. And in the end it didn't even bother me. I'm sitting at the airport once, just whacking myself in the stomach before I got on a plane. People were looking at me. I was like, oh, yes, I should do that secretly. They're going, why are you doing that? So it's a blood thinning thing. It's nothing weird, because it was nothing.

But you can make easy, people who work out, people who run, people who juice, they just make it familiar. People who study. People who say, I never watched TV and we're studying. People who learn a language. If I went to Spain and never spoke to an English person, watch Spanish TV, within months, that would be familiar. I start to understand it because it's not hard. It's a question of make good stuff familiar. And while you're making, because it'll make being down on yourself, criticizing yourself, make that unfamiliar. That's really the easiest way to change your entire life.

Make drinking water when you wake up familiar. Do a few lunges while the kettle's boiling. Do a few crunches, put some green stuff into your diet. It's all you have to do. It's we we think change is so hard but actually you get to change twice every single day of your life. The first is to change a thought and then that will change a behavior. What is saying what have I forgotten? What have I remembered? Start to think about good stuff. So change isn't hard.

Change is actually easy and you're changing every day anyway. And we just fear change because we haven't realized that if you can change the direction of change. If you don't fit, well, how do you feel about getting old? It's better than the alternative, did you think? I mean, isn't that a good thing? You're getting old, but what's the alternative? Dying young.

So, you know, there's a great saying when you change, I think Wayne Dyer was, Wayne Dyer. So when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. So think about getting old or what does that mean? And isn't it better than the alternative? Think about being with someone as opposed to being alone. People say, oh, my kids are leaving house.

home and now I'm feeling terrible. But you've done a great job. If they were handicapped, they'd never leave home. Haven't you done a great job? They're leaving home. They're going to college. You've done your job because I've got emptiness. I was a no, you haven't.

You've got inability to adapt syndrome. There's no such thing as emptiness. There are people with handicapped kids. They would love to have an emptiness. They would be elated if their kid was going out, having sex, getting married, traveling the world, but their kid's never going to get out of the bed. So again, and you think, oh, I can't cope with my kid leaving home. Think, is there somebody who say, I'll take that?

Oh, that's my fantasy dream. I have a handicapped kid here. And I'd love to have your problem. So every time you can think, is there someone who liked my problem? Is there someone who said, I'd love that problem? What I have given for that problem, then you're always reframing and realizing that it's your perspective that's making you unhappy. It's not the event. you can never change events

you can always change how you feel about the event that reframing into gratitude has to be one of the most powerful practices to continually and make it a default right because you can make that familiar just like you can make pessimism familiar and so often many people do

so grateful and people are saying oh I'm getting older we'll be grateful you're getting older be thrilled you're going to be glad that you have the opportunity to get older you know every state Gerté said every stage is a dream that's dying or

one that's coming to birth. I thought that's such a beautiful statement because that's true. Every stage is a dream that's dying or something brand new that's just being born. Yeah. Beginnings often hide themselves and ends in that way. Yeah, a lot of people say I got fired, I got dumped, we say later, wow, I didn't realize, thank God my first wife left me because I found my new wife. Thank God I got fired because I found a better job.

Thank God. You know, one of my friends, she had, I think, six rounds of IVF and then adopted a little government. I'm so glad they all failed because I was meant to be her mother and she was meant to be my daughter when I met her I knew immediately that we were meant for each other. Isn't that a great reaffirm? She never said, oh, I wish those pregnant had gone to full terms. She said, no, they were meant to fail because I was meant to find her and she was meant to find me. And that's such a beautiful reframe.

Yeah, I was talking to a friend who just was building this massive business and was feeling overwhelmed. And I shared, I said something like nothing is inherently stressful. No. And it's like that simple. perception shift, changes everything as you encounter something that you once thought was stressful, reframe it into how this could be happening for me instead of just to me. And in that process, you're reframing what is familiar to you. Another big thing that people can do is to change who they're surrounded by. If you're around four or five other people consistently and they're always,

what's familiar to them is this poverty mindset, then it's going to rub off on you. It's just kind of inevitable. So how important do you feel like it is to surround yourself with people? who frame what you want. I think you're totally influenced by the company you keep, massively influenced by the company you keep. And sometimes you have to think, you know, just that we have starter homes. You can have starter or even starter marriage.

You think, oh, I got this home and it was great, but I've outgrown it now. And I think it's okay to say about grown these people I grew up with. You know, I go back to my village, tiny little village in Cambridge. It's lovely. But a lot of the people I went, they still live there.

And they think that's wonderful to have never gone any further. But for me, I just needed a much bigger, broader life. It doesn't mean that they were wrong and I was right, but it meant it was the right thing for me to leave all that company behind and find a completely different life. But we're very influenced by the company we keep. And if the company you keep is dragging you down

and limiting you, then you should let go because you can't find new horizons while clinging to the shore. You know, the most important words in the world are let go. Let go of things that get in your way. let go of things that hold you to the past, let go of people, maybe aren't right for you. You know, when I was raising my daughter alone,

I had a group of friends or single mothers. And they were really supportive and it was lovely. But I realized later that some of them were very negative about, you know, men. And I didn't share their beliefs. And as my daughter got older, I just gradually removed myself from that group because I decided it was a bit negative. And it was. For me, it was negative.

and then I wasn't a single parent anymore and I got married and I was very happy and I still saw them a little bit but you know people think oh that's really awful you're cutting someone out of your life but you're not you're just finding a new horizon you have to let go of the past

to embrace the future and many people hold on they hold on to so much stuff and it just weighs you down so should let go of anything that doesn't serve you in the nicest kindest way you know if I want I can think of one particular mother

who was so negative. And I just eventually, going to stop replying to her invitations. I took the energy out of it. It's like if you're playing tennis and you put down your racket, you can't continue the game, can you? So I just decided, you know,

she's a great person, but she's not my person. So I just gradually remove myself from that relationship kindly and nicely and slowly because I couldn't be around that negativity anymore. It's a potent reminder. Terence McKenna has that quote

that I've referenced a bunch on this podcast of saying this is how magic is done by hurling yourself into the abyss and realizing it's a feather bed letting go that clinging out to the shore to discover new horizons there's such a profound level of joy that comes online when you feel that life knows what it's doing yeah and i'm curious for you like in your 20s and 30s would you have even ever possibly imagined a life that as good as it is when i was 20 I couldn't have ever imagined, like living in L.A., being blissfully happily married, having an amazing child, having, I mean, that was so far out of my remit. I just couldn't even imagine it. But that's a good thing that you can't imagine how your life is going to change, but it changes

dramatically. And again, it's that, I mean, I wouldn't change any of my childhood now because it made me who I am, even the hard bits, even the lonely bits, even the feeling really different because my dad was my principal, but that gave me a great understanding of human behavior. And again, it's, you know, when I had cancer, I decided I was going to go home the next day. And I did because I didn't want to do wellness. I wanted to do wellness. When they said, you should stay away because I don't know I'm going home. I knew I'd go home, amoeia.

I went in, I think on a Thursday night. I went home on a Friday morning. And I said, oh, this is good. In my home, I'm doing wellness, not illness. and they keep saying, you know, do you want pain? I said, no, because I'm not in pain. I'm in discomfort. Totally different.

And that's a reframe. If I'm in pain, I need lots of, if I'm discomfort, I just need to get super comfortable on my couch, watch a great movie, have my friends over. So it's up to us to reframe everything. Don't say I'm in pain, chronic pain, even the word my, my migraine, my cancer, my headache, my eczema.

When you call something, my, you own it. It's a little subtle shifts like changing pain to discomfort, changing the word my to the. There's a little reframe as you can do every day. So you know years ago, somebody was talking about her ex-husband, oh, he's such a bastard. My ex. When did you get?

35 years ago. I said, darling, I don't think he's yours. You still call him my ex after 35 years. Is he remarried? Yes. Are you? No. I said, do you know why?

Because you're calling him my, my ex. my, I said, he's not yours. He hasn't been yours for 35 years. Call him the. And in the, you'll have a level of indifference because the opposite of hate is not love. It's complete and utter indifference. And he's disinterested in you. Why don't you do the same? Within 18 months, she found someone else because she just had to do a tiny reframe. Stop calling something mine that you don't want to have. My dermatitis, my accent, my headaches, my seasonal flu. Stop calling. it mine. That's a really simple, we call it the, and it'll probably go away forever. Another thing that you recommend is kind of reframing, instead of having a future-based

proposition and saying, I want something one day in the future, you always speak into it as the present tense. Yeah, because that's the thing, one of the things about the mind is it doesn't know what the present tense is. Like when you take your kid on a plane, and after they go, are they there? Are they there now? You know, you get your kid in the car to drive 400 miles. They go, we there after five minutes. Because the subconscious mind, doesn't know, only knows now, it doesn't know the future, which is why you can't say next year I'll find love, next year I'll lose weight. It's why you can't say to a kid who's bullied, next year go to a different school or a different class, because the mind works entirely in

the present tense. And when you start to go next year, it means nothing. You have to say now. You know, I'm acquiring that now, I'm getting that now, I'm doing that now. It's like think as if you're already abundant. So if you want to be wealthy, rather than say, well, you know, I live in a horrible apartment, I haven't got a car, I haven't even got my own bathroom, you need to start saying, I live in a wealthy state of mind, I live surrounded by riches, I'm an abundant person, you don't even have to mention money, I was a single parent, and I'd always say to my daughter was so wealthy, we're so rich, we have everything, because we did, we had heating, we had a home, but I never mentioned money, but I always brought her up to think, we have wealth, abundance,

we have everything, we're so lucky, we're so gifted, we're so blessed. And it is the state of mine. You know, I was coming home in a taxi last summer, and the tax officer said, I've got the best job in the word. He said, I finish work every day at three. And I go, I'm going to sit in the garden with my lovely wife and my grandchild and come and says, the best job ever because I work my own house. Isn't that amazing?

This taxi driver's talking like he's a millionaire. But in his head he was because he worked his own hours. And he had to tell me about his lovely garden, his beautiful wife and his great-grandchildren that came to visit. Every day they came after school because he was finished at three. So he had an abundant mindset. You might think he was driving a cab, but he felt totally wealthy because he had everything you wanted to, because everything you want in life without questions because how it makes you feel. And he drove a cab because it made him feel free.

You could say I feel so trapped. I'm stuck in traffic. Can't make enough money. But if you understand everything you want in life without questions because of how it makes you feel, then the trick is, can I get the feeling? If I want to be, can I feel like a millionaire? Can I feel wealthy? Can I feel blessed? Can I feel gifted? Can I feel grateful? You always want to get the feeling you get if you had the thing. If I won the lottery, how would I feel? Well, I don't know. You probably would feel free, empowered, but 70% of lottery winners are bankrupt in three years. So what does that tell you? It's not even the money.

It's how you feel about it. Some people feel really bad about it. I think I didn't earn it. And I've got all this jealousy. You know, one of my clients, he lived in a little, we'd call it a council estate in England. I think you'd call it project housing here. You said, you know, when I won the lottery, it was so awful because they said,

well, you can't stay in this house because this is a house of people with no income. so you've got to move. And he said, and I love that community, but I've got a big house. I didn't fit in. And I'd go back to my old community. And if we went to the pub and I bought all the drinks, they go, there you go, showing off again. But if I didn't buy the drinks, they'd go, oh, we've got to pay for our own drinks, aren't you a millionaire now? He said, and I got everything wrong.

I lost all that money, and I was so happy. He ended up back in the projects, back in the factory. And I was happy. Because for him, he didn't see the change as a change. He saw it as a change for the worst. So, again, you have to take control of the direction of change in your life. And always say, okay, I'm making this change for the better. But no one taught him how to do that.

And so he got rid of all of it. And he didn't like it. It was so if having money is unfamiliar, you'll get rid of it. But actually, if having love is unfamiliar, you know what? You'll get rid of that too. People reject love if they've never had it because it makes them feel vulnerable. They reject money because it makes them feel unfamiliar. So you have to sit with it and make this familiar.

And that too is an absolute life changer. For individuals that are experiencing homelessness, for example, could have still the same limiting belief of not feeling enough, the same as somebody, you know, you work with incredible athletes and royalty and very prestigious individuals that could have similar limiting beliefs. Yeah. How they coped with it.

Maybe one got rich, one stayed small. But I'm curious, your work with, you know, some of the most impactful and influential individuals in the world. Can you share about how these perceptions of self and limiting beliefs still hold true all the way up? Yeah, I see a lot of people who are billionaires, millionaires, CEOs, and they have this belief, I'm not really worth it. You know, this is a bit of a fate. One day someone's going to turn up and realize that I didn't, I didn't, especially if they inherit wealth or they inherit a business.

They always have that feeling going to be found out. They have that not enoughness still. So I put my clients into three groups. There's one group, a tiny percentage, and they have everything, like the Richard Branson of the world. They have it. They love it. They feel they're worth it, and they share it.

They don't have any problems. Like, I've got this. Everyone else has benefited from me having it. But they're what I call the one percenters. So they have a belief that I can have everything, and other people will benefit, and it's a good thing. The second group have this belief that no more can have it all. It's not even possible. And so they don't even let themselves go near that.

The third group have this belief. You can have it all, but it's really hard work. And something's going to have to give. You know, if you have a great business, your relationship doesn't like great relationship and a great parent, then you can't have a great business. So each of those three groups, you can't have it all. And I haven't got it all. You can have it all, but it's really hard work and something has to give.

And the third group, you can have it all all the time. and it benefits other people, but each of those groups are all influenced by what they believe. And so that's why you've got to change your beliefs. You can have it all all the time. It takes a bit of juggling, but you can have it all the time. I have a great marriage, an amazing relationship with my daughter, an incredible career. I'm healthy and I love my life. So I'd say I have it all.

But you have to believe that you can have it all. People say to me, no, but how could I could never have a child because I couldn't then run a business, the child would suffer. And that's just not true. There are lots of people who have got it all. And they're very inspiring, but we don't see another. We see all the people who haven't got it all. And we always focus on how terrible that is. But then if you look at Stella McCartney, she's got four children, she's got an amazing business designer, she's a wonderful marriage.

She's very close to her family. So she's got it all. There's lots of people like that. But again, it's what are you looking at everyone who hasn't got it all? Just going to look at some people who've got everything going on and realize that you can have that too. For people that are listening to this that maybe struggle with money or their career, could you share how, I find it fascinating that like a 10x jump in your impact in life

is actually easier than like a 2x jump. Because a paradigm shift allows like the completely new level of impact. I feel like I'm on that. journey also now of like jumping and level of impact. So for individuals that aren't concerned with just doing a little bit better than they are, but they want to serve an impact in a really big way and they feel that they have that innate capacity for that within them, is it supposed I just on a case by case basis when you work with people to see what would be limiting from them, you know, jumping to that or believing it's possible? I think everything impossible means I'm, if you break it down,

impossible means I'm possible, imagine means I'm a genius. cure comes from the word curious. So, you know, words are very interesting. But if you have that passion to 10x your life, then it's already in you. So go ahead and follow it. You know, the only thing that ever hold you back are your beliefs. And human beings are not fragile. We have these people who are fragile, easily broken.

We're not. Human beings are resilient and strong and tough. And they have a massive bounce about how do you think of our ancestors, what they went through with no sanitation having 10 kids? So we've got a great life. We're so lucky. So I think you have to, first of all, think of yourself as a big rubber ball. If you believe you can bounce back, because people who make it, it isn't they haven't had adversity,

they've heard no, they've been rejected, they've been fired, but they bounce back. And that's the big thing. If you can bounce back, then you'll do great. So if you have that passion to 10x your life and be a speaker, be a coach, write a book, create a program, then it's already in you. You've already got the desire in you. All you have to do is get it out of you. And what gets it out of you is confidence, self-belief, determination, and working hard. And I think a lot of people have forgotten that. They think they just have to manifest, just sit and go on and it will all fall down from the sky. But actually, you have to do three

things to manifest. The first is really spend a lot of time saying, I'm worthy, I deserve it, because 80% of your success will be down to that mindset. The second, step is to really look at what you want. Do you want to write a book? Do you want to write a program? Because whatever you require will require something of you. And so you've got to think about what do I have to do? Like what did Eminem have to, you had to go out and put it as well, when Ed Shearren wanted to be a singer, he was singing at bus stops and sleeping in a park. He was busking just to get that feeling of people who've got to hear my music. He's now, I think, the wealthiest solo artist in the world. But he has.

had to do that thing. First of all, really believe I'm worth it. I've got a song. I got a voice. I'm not going to die with my music inside me. I've got to get this out. And then he saw what he had to do, which was to busk, to sing outside train stations, tube stations, bus stations, until he built up the confidence to then go and get the contract. But if you do step one, I'm worth it, you have the courage to do step three, which is go out and get it. So believe you're worth it. Take a long, hard look at what you require and what does it require of you and most of all don't do the third set which is go out and get it go out and put yourself out there take some risk you know show people your work your book your painting your art your idea your visions but you can't do step three if you

haven't done step one or step two and it's all about self-belief you know belief without talent will take you way further than talent without belief, but if you have both belief and talent, then you'll be unstoppable. There are people who have tremendous belief and no talent, and they make it. We look at people like, if I said the Kardashians, that probably sounds unfair, but there are reality stars who have very little talent, but extraordinary self-belief. There are other people who've got tremendous belief, tremendous talent, but no belief, and they don't make it, because the belief will take you further than the talent, but if you have

both. You can be amazing. It feels like after step one and two and you start to go into the action. It's like life tests you to show up and see if you'll really show up to see who you say you want to be. Yeah. And people see a delay as a denial. It's just a delay. I mean, you know, I was a writer. I can remember still sitting in my house and hearing that thud and knowing that was my manuscript coming back through the letterbox. And I heard that thud a lot because they only send it back when they don't want it. And you think they don't want my book. No, I've got a delay in getting this book published. You know, J.K. Rowling had that thud many times, but she just put it back in the post to

someone else and put it back in the post. And she, I remember her saying that the little folder she put it in, they never sent that back. And that was costing her a few dollars. She didn't have a few dollars. But she did that thing. She just kept resending out until it got signed. And that thing, if you believe you have a gift and someone says, I don't like your book,

you go, okay, send it to someone else who will. But this is a delay. It's not a denial. You mustn't give up just because someone didn't like your book, your idea, your vision, because someone else will, but you've got to keep going. And if you have self-belief, it's much easier to keep going. I love this whole conversation so much and all the nooks and crannies you went into and appreciate you so much for doing your work. Thank you. Yeah. Is there anything else in your heart or that you feel like would be in particular great to share with its audience? Oh, yes. Yes. If you have money blocks,

Love blocks, wealth blocks, health blocks, success blocks, any kind of block. Go to Marisabir.com, because we have free audios for all of those things. If you want to have an audio for money blocks or love blocks, they're totally free. We don't ask you for a credit card. Go there. Go to Marisabir.com. And if you want to train and we've trained 16,000 people to be RTT therapists. I was in Mexico last week, and I met about 30 of them.

They were all making money. They're so busy. And they said, this is the best job. in the world and I love that in a country like Mexico. So many of these women said, you know, I'm booked up for three months. I got a great income. I get to be home with my kids in the evening. So if you'd like to become an RTT therapist

because it is the best job in the world. And again, you don't need any background in therapy. Just go to RTT.com. Ordeadmarisapir.com and find out how to apply. So we've got lots of courses from small hypnosis courses to big RTT training. And they're all on my website. And if you want some stuff as self-development, that's all there too.

Wonderful. Wonderful. The last thing before we kind of close out is the power of hypnotherapy and the power of being hypnotized just because this is such a big part of your work with RTT and I think kind of has a misconstrued notion of what it is in the public light. You know, and I suppose we were talking about the power of the subconscious mind and how everything's always being recorded, right? So us getting ourselves into a place that is so suggestible that we can shift in a moment.

That's why so many people hire you. It's why your work is so popular. And so any other words you want to share about the power of RTT and then also just hypnotism in general. We see something magical happens in hypnosis. It doesn't happen out of it. And it's a magical thing is that in hypnosis, the mind starts to send different messages of the body. It says, you're not nervous. You're excited. You're not scared. You're ready. You're not inadequate. You're everything. And so when the. mind sends those messages out. It's a game changer. It only does that in hypnosis, because in hypnosis, your body is run by a network of intelligence, which is totally influenced by your mind in hypnosis. You kind of go into that network. And you start to send different messages to the body, but the body also sends different messages back to the mind. So, for instance, if you had an illness like cancer, you can start to tell your mind to heal you because all healing is self-healing. If you had headaches, you could start to tell them.

If you had, I don't know, a depression because of a hormonal imbalance, you could start to have the mind send different messages to the body, but also the body is sending messages back to the mind that are very different. I've got this, I can do this, I'm ready. And so these three things really only happen in hypnosis. They happen quickly. They happen powerfully. So someone in hypnosis who feels unworthy will start to be worthy and lovable

and significant very quickly. And because the mind learns by repetition, hypnosis is powerful at going in and having a look at our beliefs and then changing. And then if you have a recording of that, it will repeat it over and over again until this stops being what you do. And it becomes who you are. And hypnosis is incredibly powerful. I think it's the best therapy in the world because it has such instant results where they're powerful, but they're also permanent. They don't wear off. So you might say, I'm doing this tapping and it's great and it is great, but you've got to keep doing it with hypnosis.

It does it for you. It wires in something new, fires and something new that stays in you. And it stops me and what you do. It becomes who you are. So everything I have in life and I have a lot like my charters that are going to never have, my health, my marriage. Everything I have is all because of hypnosis. So I'm very grateful for it. I'm excited to explore it more because I haven't. I haven't had a whole lot of experience. And you know, every, if you look at the Olympics now, all the athletes you see. that are doing, well, they all use hypnosis. I mean, I've hypnotized

a lot of Olympic athletic teams and a lot of football teams, a lot of golfers, a lot of players at every level, but the good ones all use hypnosis. And there's a saying, I hope that said, very quickly, athletes who are doing his hypnosis

will never get into the Olympics anymore because the ones that do have such a powerful advantage of the ones that don't. Because it doesn't make you better. It makes you use your potential that most of us don't, even know we have. Also the last thing I wanted to riff on was just quickly the power of the morning and at night when we rise and before we go to bed, we're most adjustable. And so do you recommend, I mean, your hypnosis is going to be done any day, right? But in particular, when we have

these statements of truth or things that, there's something particularly powerful about the beginning and end of the day. Yeah. So when I wake every day, I always say I love my life. I love my sheets. I love my room. I love the shower. I love the first cup of tea. I love the first cup of coffee because that gratitude in the morning of just loving that I love this glass of water. I love hearing the ducks outside my house. If you can find something to love that's very simple, then everything becomes great because you're starting off with that gratitude. And then when you're in the shower and the water's coming down, it's a very meditative state is the time to start saying, I'm enough. I matter. What is you can do in the shower? I love the smell of this pear conditioner. You might as well

use that time. So if you can link an activity to something like whenever I'm in the shower, I say, I'm enough, and when I're cleaning my teeth, I think it, when I wait for the coffee to brew, I think it to start your morning with gratitude. I love my life. And then when you're in the shower, start to say, I'm enough, I'm mad, and before you go to bed at night, again, think, hey, what was great about today? There's wasn't going to be something. Just the fact that you're here and you're alive is great. And those three things will really, move you to a different level of being one of those people are so evolved, so sorted, and most of all so happy. Because happiness is not a destination. There's no terminal.

Oh, happiness is where you are. It's the journey. It's not the destination. And again, it's an inside job and it's a choice. Thank you so much. You're so articulate and I know you've been doing this for a while, but I'm just excited to feel the response from the audience because there's a lot of really practical things that people can apply on their day-to-day in life immediately. And so just so grateful for everything that you shared today. And the ripples of the ripples that your work has is just unfathomable. So thank you. And for everybody that's been tuning into this episode of the Know They Self podcast,

everywhere you can find Marissa's work and website and links and free meditations will be in the description below. Until next time, maybe well.