Know Thyself - E69 - Blu of Earth: Life After Our Breakup: The Journey From Grief To Grace & Authentic Beauty

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

Blu is back on Know Thyself this week sharing her journey over the past year of overcoming the grief of heartbreak and learning to self-source her power. André and Blu reflect on their breakup, revealing the challenges that arose and how they chose to move through them with grace.  As an artist and someone who has the gift of feeling the fullness of being human, Blu shares how she harnesses the power of her sensitivity to live a life of gratitude and beauty. She also explains the importance embodying our unique authentic beauty, finding clarity in confusion, and living to impress our 5 year old selves.  ___________ Timecodes: 0:00 Intro  3:13 A New Season of Life: Blu on Self-Sourcing Her Power 8:59 Feeling the Fullness of Grief & Finding Wholeness 17:33 The Painful Parts of Our Breakup  30:33 Sharing Vulnerably on Social Media 34:48 Living to Impress Our 5 Year Old Self  37:14 Harnessing the Power of our Sensitivity  42:13 Living a Life of Beauty and Authenticity  46:05 Seeing the Authentic Beauty in Others 1:01:59 Practice for Gaining Clarity within Challenge 1:06:41 Conclusion  ___________ Blu is a motivational speaker, artist, musician & host of the Deja Blu Podcast with over 4 million listeners worldwide, interviewing some of the most prolific spiritual leaders of our generation. She is the co-founder of Florescence, a modern mystery school which connects a global community of women in sisterhood through online sharing circles & in-person events. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bluofearth/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/bluofearth Website: https://www.bluofearth.com/ ___________ Download André's FREE Book Recommendation List: https://www.knowthyself.one/books Know Thyself Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/ Website: https://www.knowthyself.one Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ4wglCWTJeWQC0exBalgKg Listen to all episodes on Audio:  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4FSiemtvZrWesGtO2MqTZ4?si=d389c8dee8fa4026 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/know-thyself/id1633725927 André Duqum Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreduqum/ Meraki Media https://merakimedia.com https://www.instagram.com/merakimedia/

Anything that's not fully felt has to be felt at some point. And we can only decompartmentalize for so long. We separated and I went pretty much straight into another relationship. It wasn't until I separated from the next relationship was then when it hit me double time. And when I started grieving our relationship, it was a lot. It was so confronting that your presence was triggered to me. I think that one of the greatest revolutionary acts is just to love ourselves just as we are. And it seems to be one of the hardest things ever to do when you are confronted with losing one of the greatest things that you've ever had in your life.

And so that's what I'm laying to be is whole. And when I was with you, I wasn't. This is a reclamation of power. But right in the seed of our greatest challenge and our greatest pain points is the seed of our greatest potential and our service to the planet. And so once we can give context and reframe the story we're telling ourselves around what it is that's being presented, this is actually where our power lies. A lot of our sickness comes from not knowing how. how to healthily transmute an emotion that is dense. It's connecting us from our vulnerability,

and that vulnerability is the thing that actually allows us to be connected with others. I think that when we truly start loving ourselves in the mundane moments, that activates our magnetism. And that level of hands-off trust in the universe, that's embodiment, that's power, that's magnetism. And that's rooted in just being, just the way that we are. Hello, beautiful beings. Welcome back to the Know Thyself podcast,

where every single week we get the honor and privilege to sit down with a brilliant mind, a beautiful soul to learn more about the true nature. of self and the world around us at deeper levels every single week. My guest today is the host of the Deja Blue podcast, one of the founders of the Florescence Modern Day Mystery School for Women. She is a public speaker, a walking inspiration to millions of people around the world, and somebody that I have spent three years in partnership with in romantic partnership weaving together, sharing our gifts. Many of you are familiar with the last podcast that we did, which just the outpour of love and impact from that episode was really heartwarming to feel

and to see all the reflections of how that supported you. You know, we shared a lot about conscious uncoupling, how to stay friends after breaking up. And this conversation today, my intention is to have it be a continuation, to be a follow-up and to dive deeper into the heart and mind of blue, what it means to live a life of beauty, love and unity and live a life of absolute magic. Blue, welcome back to the show. Thank you for having me. I love the little introduction moments and I'm so excited to be in your new set.

It's extremely exquisite. Yeah. I'm just honored to be here. Well, I'm honored to have you here. You've definitely got to see the full arc, the full journey from way back. So it's cool to, you know, I just did a, we did a podcast today on your show earlier, which was fun. I haven't had this much, Andre, in so long. And we've got to do two back-to-back podcast.

It's such a gift. I'm so excited, true. Yeah. It had even like was difficult for us even to get into the day's podcast because, oh this episode, because we were giggling so much. Yeah. And it's later. It's late in the day. Normally filming in the morning. So what's up? How have you been since the last conversation we filmed probably like 10 months ago? That was probably like six months after our separation. And like I was speaking to in the intro, a lot of people found a lot of resonance and found it supportive on their own journey of uncoupling with their partners. And so since that day and since the last podcast, there's been a lot of, lot, you know, we moved to the same city that I moved to. We're still weaving community. We're still really close friends. And like we spoke to on your podcast today, it feels like our lives very much so are on these same lanes of the highway where like share so many parallels in life and how we choose to show up and serve on the planet. So what has been, what has been one of

the biggest themes this past 10 months for you? So many themes. The past 10 months has been a highlight of every single area of my life that I am outsourcing my validation, every single area of my life where I desire to be chosen, that I desire to be special, that I desire to be seen or acknowledged, to fill some kind of void where I'm not doing it myself. And it highlighted where only that can be achieved when I do it for myself. And so when I say highlighted, highlighted, is not something that's like, yay, I get to see this part of myself, but it's actually more kind of a complete deconstruction of outsourcing my power. And I called it Blue Daddy season. So all my close friends have been calling me king because I have learned to be that masculine for

myself. And I realize, like, in partnership with you, you are impeccable with crossing all your tears and dying all of your eyes. That you can see it from the third. set. I mean, if you just look at this set, look at the meticulous nature of the lighting and the quality of the videos and the quality of the way everything's professionally constructed, this is exactly how you live your life. There is a deep authenticity to it. And for me, as somebody that is deeply rooted in prayer and connection with nature and magic and sisterhood and dance and painting and creativity, when it comes to actually building the structure, I was outsourcing that within our partnership because you were so strong in it and so you supported me. However, I was

doing it with you, but I wasn't doing it for me. And so that has been a significant difference in the separation in the time apart. And specifically since we had a lot of last podcast, I have learned how to be Blue Daddy. I have learned, I am learning and continuously I will always be a student, how to build the infrastructures of recognizing that even magic needs structure to be both in the 3D, and it's not actually real until it's here. And so there's so many thoughts I can go off in infinite timelines of imagining all of the things that I want to create for myself. However, none of it is actually real until it's lived out in the mundane on a day-to-day basis through consistency and devotion rooted in self-love, not rooted in the desire to be validated if I do X, Y, and Z.

So it was really coming back to the foundations of building my house on rock, not on sand. And it's been a journey. It's brought me to my knees, and it's also humbled me deeply. And it's also been the greatest gift because I think that when we pack ourselves with ourselves, then it's the greatest asset. And what I mean by that is that I start living from the inside out, not from the outside in, instead of creating for the validation to create because it's an outlet for my deepest desires and my greatest joys. And so, and in addition to that, on a separate note, it's been a journey in relation to you of how do we run parallel? How do we work alongside each other in projects, in community, in weaving in the same group of humans,

and to genuinely rest in unconditional love when there is an emotional attachment or emotional investment in the other person. And that in itself has again brought me to my knees. And there's so much to unpack within that one thing that I just shared about us. However, I can hand and heart say that I can come on your podcast and from a genuinely embodied place feel like we're in a really delicious, juicy, deep friendship that I believe will last forever. And so it feels genuine and authentic to talk about it and to share it with others because it's a blueprint or a way of operating that I've actually not seen modeled before. And to be able to have access to that with you is something that I'm willing to talk about.

And I only want to talk about things that feel integrated. And I don't want to talk about things from the center of the core of the wound because I'm still open and raw. And with other people's projections on the current situation, it can distort what it is that I'm experiencing, but from a genuine, integrated, grounded place where I'm no longer longing and I'm no longer craving and I'm no longer wanting something from you, then I can actually understand and rest what unconditional love feels like in my body. And then from that place, I can talk about it. It's a beautiful process of remothering and refothering yourself and providing that masculine frame and container for yourself to really blossom. You know, it's like the plant potter for the plant to grow in or, you know, the river bed for the river to flow in or creating that. But not sacrificing your feminine essence in the process of it, which is an interesting balance to walk. And there aren't, I feel like a whole lot of examples, especially for women to go out there and do that with because I feel, you know, there's the example of completely sacrificing your feminine essence to live in the masculine world as a woman. and people like live your life however you want but it's possible to be able to actually do both

and I'm just curious for you I know in the process of really self-sourcing a lot of the stuff within yourself you you have to feel everything to its full depths and like I know grief has been a theme for many different angles and aspects of your own life to like fully feel the grief deep grief, to then actually be able to choose the life that you want to live from an empowering place and not the shoulds or the have-to-use or the must, but actually because you love yourself and it's an act of self-care and self-love. And so anything you want to share on the importance of feeling grief when there is something that you are meeting to grieve. Grief has been one of my greatest teachers. And I have been asked in the past, how do you get to

this point in your evolution or how do you feel so confident to me or so embodied? And first and foremost, I'm a student always and will forever be. Secondly, my relationship with grief is a deep level of respect. And when it presents itself, I give myself permission to go all the way in. And I believe that life goes through the shamanic cycle, whether it's in a medicine journey or it's just life in general or the seasons of life, which is death, purification, rebirth, integration. So as we evolve, the evolutionary process is the death purification, rebirth integration. And when the death presents itself, that is the respect for that season. Because without the winter, we cannot have summer and vice versa.

And so once the respect is made, if I don't respect grief or if I don't expect sadness or shame or anger or jealousy or guilt, whatever dark side of the moon emotion presents itself, then it has to sit somewhere on my body. And once that understanding is recognizing Albert Einstein talks about energy is not created nor destroyed, only changed in form. Well, if I don't express the grief, then it changes in form and it has to sit somewhere in the body. So it's either feel it now or have to feel it later and it takes 10 times as long to actually process it and it's way more complex because then it's literally the issues are rooted in the tissues. So when grief is present, I have a certain formula that allows me to feel it in its entirety. And if I don't have access to it, then I have allies that can support me and I can go into that

a little bit. However, for example, if I'm feeling a deep level of sadness and I'm in a public space, the part coming back to your original question, which was learning not to neglect myself or live from the outside in, if I'm feeling some kind of way, I ask myself, what is it do you need right now? And sometimes that could be reaching out to a friend, a trusted friend, that can be solo time, that could be go and put your feet in the earth and go make a tobacco offering and say a prayer that could be go and immerse yourself for three days in nature but it's a deep level of listening of what do I actually need as opposed to what is the space wanting from me and how can I appease that

because that's the difference of living from the outside in or living from the inside out and so there's something about giving myself the privilege of my process and once the permission is granted and I can create a cocoon or a safe place based off of what my actual needs are, then I allow myself to go all the way in. Feel whatever it is the capacity I need to feel at, as long as the space is safe. What I mean by safe is, if I'm in a manner gathering and I'm starting to feel grief, and just crying in the middle of the room, it's not going to be a safe space because people are going to be confused. They're going to judge the experience. They project that judgment onto what it is that I'm processing, because people judge what they don't

understand. If there's no context for why I'm going through my grieving process, then it can be met with judgment, which you can actually create a little bit more trauma than necessary. So it's a discernment of when is the right appropriate place to allow myself to tap into that piece that I'm feeling. Once that space is set, and that can be many different things for me, it's sisterhood, it's solo time, it's nature time, it's camping, there's multiple different places that I can tap into it. It's allowing myself to go into the fullness of it and to respect the darkness. And there is Persephone, she's the... the goddess of the underworld. And she shows up. And I have a conversation with her. I'm like,

okay, I see Persephone. I wasn't expecting this. I'm at a gathering right now. When he comes Persephone, she is like, it's like the grim reaper standing at the door and he's just like knocking on the window. And I'm like, no, not right now. And he's like, you don't have a choice when you feel grief. And so when I see the grim reaper standing out of the window, it's about, instead of running and trying to avoid it, it's about respecting it and creating the safe space to feel it. I just so happen, if you are in touch with astrology at all, I have four planets in Scorpio. Scorpio is the underworld. Scorpio is the shamanic space.

Scorpio is the unspoken. Scorpio is the really deep sorceress, like shamanic realm. I thrive and I live in that space. Like that for me is the most real space that exists and that's where the space that I invite others into a safe way of being able to feel their grief. However, from that place, this is truly where I believe in. empowerment is born when we can make peace and respect the dark side of the moon as much as the light side of the moon. And so there have been waves of grief that I have felt over the past

eight months. It's probably like the deepest grief I've ever experienced and the toughest time of my entire life. And I've let you into certain aspects of it. And I've also done it solo. However, I have learnt my greatest lessons from those places. And I've been able to meet myself in the deepest way possible. And where I think empowerment lies is learning to love yourself in those pockets. So when I'm crying all night long, and I can hardly catch my breath because I'm crying for seven hours straight, like legitimately, like really deep wounds have been tapped, is holding myself like I would if I had a daughter. And if my daughter came over to me, it was like, mom, I'm praying. I wouldn't be like, right, fuck off. That's how sometimes we speak to

ourselves when we're in grief. But what would it look like if I replace that voice with, let me hold you closer and I'm going to hold you and hug you until you soften your entire body? And Richard Rudd said to me that enlightenment or self-awareness is a series of softening's. And it's when I'm in the deepest pocket of grief and I'm feeling so much sadness and I feel shame come up or guilt come up or I should have done better. I could have done better. It's replacing those narratives in that moment when it's really tough to actually soften and to hold myself like I would my child. That is a revolutionary act in itself because the separation I believe that we have within our own psyche of praising the high days and shaming the low days

is the very separation that we're seeing on the planet. And I think that there's a revolution in itself when I actually learn to accept myself when the grief presents itself and recognizing grief is completely unpredictable. When it shows up and usually when there's a pocket of like a painful period of life or the dark night of soul grief comes in waves and it usually comes in sets of threes. That's what I've noticed just like waves of the tides of the planet or the oceans. So when it shows up, it's in the acceptance, it's in the safe place, it's in the cocooning and it's also a deep respect that a lot of power lies in the unconscious and it's the unconscious that's being looked at. So this is a reclamation of power and when it gives me that new frame of the grief, then I welcome

it. Then my body softens. Then the gift can present itself. But right in the sea, of our greatest challenge and our greatest pain points is the seed of our greatest potential and our service to the planet. And so once we can give context and reframe the story, we're telling ourselves around what it is that's being presented to transcend the binary that there's a right and a wrong emotion and that actually the most sacred thing is what is. And as long as it's got a safe container and the discernment of when to tap into it, this is actually where our power lies. And that is what has helped me show up to today in conversation the way that I have because I've renegotiated my relationship with grief

and have utilized it to be of service to the whole. That process of emotional alchemy is like the biggest gift that you can give to the world because it's the greatest gift that you can give to yourself. You know, the saying of what we resist persists unless we fully feel that and go through that process of shedding the light of our awareness onto it and embracing it like we would a child, then it doesn't give us the opportunity to discover the gift that's on the other side of it. One thing that's interesting to kind of tie a bow on the last conversation,

we had was, you know, the periods of grief after separating from a romantic partnership, you know, everybody, it's on different timelines. For us, it was on slightly different timelines, you know, because you went into another relationship fairly kind of quickly after and didn't give you the full time to process the separation or grief from our connection and from our separation. I went straight into the separation and the grief of that and transmuting that and my process and then you came out of essentially the other relationship after however many months and then it was like the timelines were different. So I'm just curious when you look back at this past like year and you look at the timelines of our healing, how did you see the reflection of me

and the reflection of us be difficult or healing along that process of reconciling your grief and this notion and your own relationship to longing. Anything that's not fully felt has to be felt at some point. And we can only decompartmentalize for so long. And I, not through choice, but just through what was presented. And I make all my decisions from my heart almost to a fault, actually. And recently I had a shaman sit with me and he looked me dead. in the eye and right into the soul.

And he says, hmm, you make all your decisions from your heart. It's time to incorporate some logic. And I was like, oh, I feel so seen because actually sometimes the excitement and the heat of the moment isn't actually the smartest choice. And the only way I'm going to know that the Stover's heart is by touching it.

And so I have so much compassion for who I chose to be, what decisions I chose to make, on the other side of shaming myself and guilting myself. And it doesn't work. that is just continuing to perpetuate suffering. I did the best that I cope with the awareness that I have in every given moment and every single thing I'm going to extract lessons and become a better version of myself moving forward. So with that being said, we separated and I went pretty much straight into any other relationship. Unexpected, it just kind of like blindsided me came out of nowhere. And I was

surprised that I didn't really have as much access to my grief as our relationship. And I felt a little bit sort of numb by it. And that is what we call distraction. I was distracted from feeling the deeper emotions and thought, oh, maybe this was just the natural transition and this is what was meant to happen. Ultimately, everything's subjective to whatever story we tell ourselves and stories are like not necessarily rooted in truth. And yet they can feel like truth in the body and then later on after time, set like allows everything to settle, then truth actually is the only thing that remains. and I think that it's me versus the truth or me against the truth and the truth will always win. And so it took me time to feel the entirety of the partnership or the separation of the partnership.

But it wasn't until I separated from the next relationship was then when it hit me double time. I got double heartbreak. And when I started grieving our relationship, I, oh my God, it was like, it was a lot. because it was so deep and I haven't actually like fully shared with you the fullest extent of my process. I've shared with you pockets and I've had conversations with you of like certain stories that I'm telling myself to come back to as close to the truth as I possibly could get. I don't know the absolute truth but through conversation and through genuine transparency and like everything on the table I can actually start to assess what's the closest thing to truth.

And so anytime I started spiraling out into a story, we would have another conversation. I would get as close to the truth as I possibly could and then go away and integrate it. And I would say that it's been a really long healing journey for me around our partnership and the separation of our partnership. And it's been really interesting as well because in the core of my core of my core of my cause, I just want, and I've just wanted you to live your best life possible and thrive and evolve and grow and expand. And then the part of me that was seeing you through my own personal lens was threatened by your growth because it reminded me what I had lost. And so it was so confronting that your presence was a trigger to me.

and that felt so contradictory because I had so much love for you. So it was really confusing. I'm like, what is this lens that is not rooted in love? It's more rooted in division because I would rather reject you than to have to feel what it is that's actually being brought up within me. But the second that I actually stopped pushing away the reflection and allowed your reflection to illuminate all the areas of my life where I could actually grow, once that lens shifted, you went to. straight back to being my biggest teacher again and my greatest inspiration. And I feel like I was really transparent with you as much as I possibly could around these emotions and these feelings. And I want to speak into that because you and I can sit in conversation and share about the beauty

and how we navigated it from a conscious place. But I also want to bring to the table where I wasn't conscious about it and all my triggers and uncomfortable feeling and longing and shame and guilt and everything came up for me. And how can we alchemize those denser emotions? That's what kept me awake for seven hours crying every night, was the grief that I had fucked up, was the grief that I had lost something that was so precious to me. And I kept resting in what is meant for you,

there's nothing you can do to fuck it up. And what is not meant for you, there's nothing you can do to make it happen and come back to his trust because it's so easy to trust in the universe, to trust in God, to trust in that that cannot be named when everything's great, when things are hunky-dory. We're like, okay, yeah, I got this trust on luck, yo. But when you're in the tower card of the tarot being the archetypal journey when everything

you have some kind of identity outside of you crumbles to nothingness and what is left is just your essence, can you trust then? That is the greatest test of trust. And that was what I was forced to look at. How much did I actually trust life? And how much can I actually love with an open palm? And how much of my life was I loving like this? It was that energy that I needed to dissect that longing. And so I started really scanning my life. Where am I going like this to anybody? And it was not that common in friendships. I have a very unattached relationship in friendships. I very easily love with an open palm. Klinginess is nothing,

is not curriculum for me in friendships. In romantic partnerships, it's so ripe and rampant. And it took me on a journey back to my relationship with my father leaving when I was a really young child and constantly going away for work. And there was times when he would be, and I was like, here we go again, there's tissues down here, put them specifically, knew I was going to cry. My father would leave and go to work for six months at a time. And I remember hugging him before he would leave. And I was so silly looking back on it.

I would do anything just to get 30 more seconds with him before he would leave for a long time. So he was wearing his business shirt. And I would argue him on it and dribble spit. So then he had to go back upstairs and change his shirt before he left so that he wouldn't. leave within the next five minutes. And I had got extra five minutes with him. And I've never shared that story before each other's moment. So everything that is unresolved within my father, within my mother, it will come out in romantic partnership. And when I can go back to that little girl that just wanted an extra five minutes with my dad before he would leave for six months,

I have compassion for that part of me that was longing. And I think, I think, think that one of the greatest revolutionary acts is just to love ourselves just as we are. And it seems to be one of the hardest things ever to do when you are confronted with losing one of the greatest things that you've ever had in your life. And the most beautiful thing about this entire experience is that even your absence has taught me as much as your presence. And what I've made a commitment to is that I will not re-enter any partnership or relationship until the lessons of this entire chapter have been integrated in a very real way because if this is not felt to the entirety, if I've not given myself the privilege of my process, if I've not given myself

this self-awareness as to why this may have happened to learn a deepest essence of myself, then I will have to replay this again in the next partnership. And so I have been a humble student of this as Naya process and that long. inside of me has a place at the table as well as all other aspects of myself. But that's the main core piece here is that I'm not saying, okay, longing, get out. Okay, that part, get out. Because this is my dinner party and I only want the best parts of me. That actually is a weak space. It's when the longing has a seat. It's when the shame has a seat. It's when the guilt has a seat. It's also when the ecstasy has a seat and when the self-awareness has a seat.

and we can all actually commune together. That's when the wholeness is reactivated. And then that's what you talked about on the podcast with me earlier is when two whole pieces come together in union. And so that's what I'm learning to be is whole. And when I was with you, I wasn't. And that's why I was still seeking. I was constantly seeking in our relationship.

And that played out with us. And so I am learning to just be. And it seems so simple and yet so difficult at times. And yet unbelievably worth it because those little pockets of stillness is where pure originality is born. And when that pure originality starts flowing through, it's the delicious place to be. Just want to acknowledge you for your bravery and your courage, always just laying yourself out there on the alter and showing up in full transparency of like the depth of your emotions and it's why you connect with so many people I think all around the world because this is such a intrinsic part of

the human journey and yet we don't have as many role models as we could authentically vulnerably sharing their prone process in it all and so you giving yourself the privilege of that process and I've gotten to see moments in pockets where you were in that core wound and the core vulnerability of yeah just deep deep sadness and you know me seeing you in periods of that it was tough for me also and i just want to show up as much as i can as a space of unconditional love and reflection back to you and simultaneously in those moments it's it's interesting to navigate you know because there's this part of me that just just truly loves you and wants to be there for you and then also recognizes honors and acknowledges the distance or the space that you might need to go through your own process

as an individual soul without the reflection of me, you know. And so, you know, it's been, it's been a wild journey. It's been wild. You articulated everything there so beautifully, as you always do. And I think it's just a powerful representation of just the feminine. And I've always thought that of you, you know, a female that's willing to fully express yourself in all of it. and you're rewriting that pattern actively as you speak about it also. And so, yeah, we've come a long way since the last conversation that we had. And it's just been so beautiful to watch the whole process unfold. So thank you for sharing yourself always so openly like that.

It's so vulnerable. And even when I'm saying it, because I have, and I talked about this on the podcast we did earlier, I'm learning astrology right now. So I'm using a lot of astrology lingo. but my Scorpio is square, my Leo, and so the Leo goes, let's share everything! And my Scorpio is like, must hide from the world. And so I find that sweet balance of like when it's my process and it's mine to keep. Like I really go in and just create a very particular cocoon of energetic protection.

Because when a wound is open, you don't want any kind of like any kind of like bacteria or anything to get in it. you have to keep it very sterile. So when the wound is open, we keep it as clean as possible. And even when you're just going through an emotional process, it's energetic. You want to keep it as clean as possible. So the people that I reveal that process to are like meticulously clean surgeons through my discernment.

And something that's super empowering for me is to have my own back. When I'm going through a grief pocket or I'm going through a really vulnerable moment, not to have to reach out to get that oxygen, but to start to self-soothe and learn those children. tools of how to actually really be the shaman and the medicine woman of my own experience and to really have my own back in that and to really nurse myself back into wholeness in that moment. In addition to that, I made a vow to my future daughter that I would create content that

I would be proud of her to watch as an example of what it means to navigate in a healthy way or emotions. And I think a lot of our sickness, not the majority of it, comes from not knowing how to experience grief or not knowing how to healthily transmute an emotion that is dense. And I feel like so many of us on this planet have something to prove and want to be presented in a certain way. And it's just connecting us from our vulnerability and that vulnerability is the thing that actually allows us to be connected with others. When I show up on this podcast, it's all polished and put together and say all the right things through my ability to orate and articulate, but don't get.

vulnerable, then how on earth am I going to relate to people? How are earth the people going to relate to me? Where when I can show up here and say, well, the only, the truth is all I have. My heart is the only thing that I have and my truth is the only thing that I have. And if I can actually share that with you, then I can create a level of relatability. But it's not our champagne popping moments that actually people relate to. It's our challenges. It's our struggles. It's our suffering. It's our human that people go, oh, if she can do it, so can I. And so, I. And so, the, and so, so that. And so that's my intention of sharing on the podcast is, is not coming from a place of like, hey, look, I have it all figured out and I know what the truth is. I do not. I figure, I'm trying to

figure it out every single day just by softening into a deep place of listening. But what I can offer is my journey from as close to as vulnerable as possible and not needing to be liked or accepted, but more so just feeling like there's a space that gets to be filled with genuine authenticity when we're sharing a message in a big way and your podcast is starting to reach so many more eyes and ears and hearts as is mine and so there comes with a responsibility and the ability to respond with genuine authenticity because I feel like what the world's missing or one of the pieces that the world's missing and so it's the choiceless choice at this point and that's when you know Andre knows like come on a podcast there's going to be some tissues

because blue's probably gone cry well you're right because some of these truths that you're talking about, the questions that you're asking, some of the toughest moments of my entire life. And if I don't get super close to the emotion, then I'm not sharing as vulnerable as I possibly could. So I would rather, I feel like people are going to judge us our whole lives anyway, specifically if you're outward facing,

specifically if you have a podcast, people are so quick to project everything that they're feeling uncomfortable with onto whoever it is that's talking about a deeper message. And so if I can take into account, I'm going to be judged regardless. I'm going to be sitting on this podcast. We're going to be judging everything about me right now. And I'd rather be judged for being authentic and actually true

than to be judged for being a version of myself that I think will be liked. At least I can rest at night going. I was real today. Ultimately, that's who you need to impress most. When you lay your head down on the pillow at the end of the night, are you confident? Do you feel good about who you chose to show up as, you know? Just give myself a high five at night.

be like, yeah. A long nightly routine. That's a clap of me and my authenticity. I have actually started a new kind of ethos around life, which is, and I've noticed you've got it on your altar too. My five-year-old self, I'm just checking in every single day. She's the only person I want to impress. She's the only one that I'm like...

All right, what do you think? And she's like, you crushed it today. I'm like, oh, yes, that validation for my five-year-old self is everything. It's everything. That's the only place that I'm allowing myself to outsource my validation is my five-year-old self. And she was singing and dancing and painting and moving and putting on skits for her family and playing different roles and was like tap dancing and also doing solo synchronized swimming in the pool, which, p.S. I have bought back recently, which I'm really stoked on.

You should see me out in the backyard in Topeka. I'm on my own. I have an invisible peg on my nose and an invisible hat on. And I'm literally doing synchronized dancing, swimming for like an hour, only to impress my five-year-old self. And that ethos has returned me back to what is truly important. Are there other people doing the synchronized swimming with you,

or is it just you? Oh, no, it's just me. And I have an invisible audience, too. Wow. I love it. This is so on brand for blue. 32 years old and still crushing the solo synchronized dance. Come on.

Proud. I'm genuinely proud. I come out at the pool and I'm like, yeah. Because I like to, and I heard this, I don't know who said the original quote, but the universe gives you, doesn't give you what you want. The universe gives you who you are. When I am dancing in the pool and I'm having a death blast, the universe is responding to that.

The universe is responding when I'm painting. The universe is responding when I'm singing in the shower and singing in Spanish. Why would I not sing when I have everything to sing for? When I have the sun, when I have the stars, when I have the moon, have love. The universe is responding to that in the microcosm moment. And so if I want to create a beautiful life, it's to check in with my five-year-old self and see what was happening in the original blueprint before everyone else's projection of consciousness was put on me. Yeah. You're describing

really the journey of the artist harnessing the power of their sensitivity. You know, artists are the most sensitive among us, right? They have the most access to feel the full spectrum of their emotions and then and then therefore they get to tap they get to create from that space you know those high highs those low lows they get to have the full spectrum the full keys all the keys on the piano to be able to express and create from that place and you know I love how you're sharing how to harness that in the healthy way to fully feel the grief but then is there anything else that's really supported you and being able to harness the power of the gift and also the weight of feeling so many emotions so deeply for to be of service to use it to create art and not just

you know to be super emotional all the time that's a great question otherwise there's just be a web like everywhere I go and and there was another thing that deborah silverman one of my teachers and dear friends share with me she said no when it's time to feed into it and when it's time actually is not the space and that is the discernment and And I've also learned that the capacity in which I can grieve is the capacity in which I can have ecstasy. And so the deeper I go on that side of the pendulum is the higher I go on the other side of the pendulum. And I, on a daily basis, experience joy for absolutely no reason, besides the pure gift of being alive. I will be walking from my bed to the shower and halfway down all the way to the shower, I just go.

and this atomic bomb of green heart energy just explodes out of my chest my toes are curled my fingers are curled I'm red in the face my veins are popping out my neck purely for the excitement of being alive I don't know where it came from but I know where it's going and it's feeding my future self and so I allow it to take me over and engulf me every 75 trillion cells in my body are listening and responding to that pure joy that I've given myself full permission to feel, I can only feel it to the capacity in which I can grieve. It has to sit on the same spectrum. So within the same breath, I'm not crying all the time when the grief genuinely presents itself. And for as long as it takes, it may take six months. It may take six minutes.

And when the joy shows up, I give myself full permission to let it take me over. And there are few pockets that I experienced that joy from. One of them being tapping myself into the timeless state of creativity. When I'm writing a song or I'm playing my guitar in the balcony watching the sunset or when I'm sitting in front of a giant blank canvas and I've got this whole vision of what it's going to be and for nine hours, literally I don't even have any bodily functions. I don't need the bathroom. I don't look away from the canvas and I'm completely immersed in a timeless state. Another area in a pocket that I can experience that level of joy is in love when I'm in love. Or even just for a moment in passing, when there is a moment where I have been met in the

depths of my soul and I can see directly into the heart and the soul of that person. And what it does just for a moment, it opens up that possibility, the infinite possibilities. I can marinate on that feeling for at least three days straight. Because it's life or energy that is podcast. cultivated in me. It's very rare when that happens, but when it shows up, it's really fun to dive in it. And then the other pocket is, I find that the joy is accessible in the most simplest moments. I've been in very expensive, lavish vacations and been traveled around the world by somebody or somebody's taking me around the world in a private jet. It's fun for like five minutes. But for me, being in nature, sitting in a circle with the moon rising, playing some music,

making some offerings in the fire with people that I cherish. It's in the simplicity where I find the most joy. So in creativity, but it's usually what my five-year-old self would want to be doing. That's my navigational tool, is how to access the joy. So being able to be taken over by the joy is my capacity to grieve, is also my capacity to be able to fully live. My relationship with healing my relationship with death is my ability to truly live. So they all sit on the same spectrum. And when you realize that it's all just a spectrum, you can accept it in its wholeness so that you can experience all of it. And I think that's the reason why we're alive. We're all on the spectrum. You had my toes curled and it's like, yes. We are all on the spectrum. Yeah, we are. Yeah.

And the spectrum of being human and the fullness of what we get to experience. And what you're describing is the beauty way, you know. You're sharing what it means to live a life of beauty. And to living a life of beauty means living a life that's authentic to you. And so for you, what has been the biggest realization into the desire for living a truly authentic life to you, living your life for you, not for anybody else? And then hand in hand, the beauty that that reveals as you discover more of your authenticity. I feel like myself came here to learn the rules so I know how to break them. It's just been my way since I was a kid.

And I have a really hard time. I've always had a really hard time following somebody else's map of consciousness. And what I mean by map of consciousness is that there's roughly about 8 billion people on this planet. There's 8 billion different realities all happening simultaneously based off of the story you tell yourself around what is. So from generation to generation to generation, we tell the children the next generation our map of consciousness of how we perceive reality and then create it from a by. binary experience that there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. And then you throw in the

mix of religion and it just gets really complicated. And for me, my soul has always been thirsty for the deepest resonance of truth to my being. And so it's just something that I came here with. I can feel it in my soul's signature. A lot of my astrology is in the House of Aquarius. And Aquarius is all about the future. The direction we're moving in the blueprint of the new human. And so my life is designed to ask questions and to feel into resonance with what's closest to my heart's truth as I possibly can get without harming another. And that has left me on this such a deep inquiry, whether it's traveling around the world solo or trekking through the Himalayas or sitting with shamans for a month in Peru or working with plant medicines or diving deep into the

genkeys or understanding esoteric wisdom and philosophies. I love it. It's my lifeblood. And so I've just continuously detached from needing to be right and allowing myself to feel into what is the closest thing to love I could possibly get. And one of my teachers once said, I don't know what the truth is, but I know what love feels like and I follow that every single day. And I can feel in my body when something isn't love. I can feel in my body when I'm judging you. If I'm judging you and I'm feeling contraction, it's got nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. And I want to be curious enough to understand where in my psyche of my subconscious mind am I not aware? And how can I bring it into my awareness? How can I bring it from a subconscious part, a pattern part, a condition

part, a program that is outdated and has got a virus in it? How can I bring it into my conscious awareness and love it into wholeness? That's where power lies from my perspective. And so when living a life based off of that ethos, since I was a child, it's got to a point now where I realized that magnetism is born from authenticity. More things happen for me, the more authentic I am. They just do. So it's become something that I've just noticed. More opportunities, more people that open doors for me, more communities that want me a part of what it is they're creating, more opportunities to travel, more beautiful humans that I'm surrounded by, the more authentic I am. And I still catch myself in these, in these, I get caught up and being like, oh, well, maybe if I look a certain way, or I need to put on

these clothes and maybe that then I'll get the attention of that person. I can feel that and it feels icky in my system. I feel so outside of myself when that happens and it's yet caught up in a general narrative that living from the outside in. And this is the path that I really want to illuminate with my life and you mentioned the word beauty. Well, what would it look like if we started going through a massive epoch shift from artificial glamour to authentic beauty? Authentic beauty is actually the most magnetic quality and it's available to all. Doesn't matter what your genetic, it doesn't matter what physical being that you're in because authentic beauty is born from how much you love and how much you allow love in. So anybody can be beautiful actually. The people that are most

magnetic to me are the ones that are confident with exactly who they are. So there's two beautiful pieces there that you brought up, one of magnetism and then two, the switch to authentic beauty. First, the authentic beauty piece, like, you know, I see you very much so as a feminine female role model and leader. And you spoke to what, you know, showing up in the way that you would want your future daughter to be inspired by and to live like. And, you know, right now, unfortunately, I think especially in the West, there's this mass perception of women overly focusing on their appearance in the only fans of vacation era of people over sexualizing themselves and do whatever you want with your body. But, you know, I would love to see more.

more and there are so many, but I would love to continue to see the blooming of women that are leaders from the heart that are revering the inter qualities, including the external appearance and the physical meat suit, because that's fun and that's beautiful too, and it's not to put that away, but to also really prioritize the inter qualities of authentic beauty and not just the artificial glamour on the external. So just any thoughts that you have there for women, but obviously men will benefit listening to this too, women that are on that journey of switching to authentic beauty and the journey of that process and the courage it takes. Well, first and foremost, I would like to actually ask you a question.

Okay. As somebody that I would say is self-aware and is constantly on the pursuit of getting to as close as your authentic truth as you possibly can while also bringing love into other people's lives. What do you find to be deeply attractive in a woman? A woman who's connected to herself, a woman who knows herself and is self-sourcing her own safety within. A woman, personally, I find beautiful when they are expressive in their creativity, that whatever it looks like, if it's singing, if it's painting, if it's dancing, if it's creating, that feminine essence comes online expresses itself somehow. So that divine feminine energy to me where somebody and a woman

really has a deep connection with themselves is one thing. And then hand in hand also deep connection with nature, I think is also an extension of ourselves that I find really attractive. And then yeah, a caring and a loving heart is just like, you know, there's just a kindness to spirit that I really appreciate and cherish to have in my close circles, you know. And so that that is something as well. And humor is something, you know, the playfulness of it all. And, you know, something I think that you carry so well, something that I cherish in our partnership and friendship still is that being able to hold the depth and the anchor to the bottom of the ocean and feel the full spectrum of that scorpionic energy and all of that. And then, you know, the hot air balloon, lightness,

laughter, playfulness of just realizing the cosmic joke of it all. That spectrum is something that is rare to feel in both polarities of that strongly and something that I really cherish and I'm attracted to. And then physical beauty I'm also very attracted to too. Of course, thank you for mentioning it because it's a big part. Yeah, it's core. It's a huge part in terms of like romantic partnership, you know, or attraction in that sense.

And so, yeah, physical beauty, the inequalities, and that, those are some things that I would mention. Well, thank you for answering there, allowing me to flip the interviewer, interviewer roles for a second. So something that as a woman, and specifically all of us being the first generation that has used social media in this way through Instagram stories and just the way that we have created this online presence that is rooted in validation, likes, comments, all of that sort of stuff and the impact that it does on our psyche. also being deeply rooted in feminine work or feminine work being working with women and working with sisterhood through fluorescence and you know all my businesses and everything is is all women employed and it's rooted predominantly from an equality of sisterhood so I'm in a deep level of listening of what happens through the psyche of women behind the scenes I'm asking questions I'm listening

deeply and one of the main themes that I feel is a deep inadequacy and unworthiness If you were to hear out loud some of the stuff we say to ourselves, and this isn't just women, this is just being human, we are fed constantly, they're inadequate. And so we are up against narratives that are coming from the collective that are trying to sell us things to feel worthy. And specifically online, Instagram is one of the most common dating apps that exist. We present this version of ourselves outward so that we can be accepted. validated from that place that we're not validating ourselves. And so it's such a trap. It's like and if we're not fully here and we're using it as a tool, it uses us. And it is chipping away

our sense of self-worth. Now, in contrast to that, what I have personally found to be the most attractive in men and women is confidence. And confidence is born from going back to our original question is how much can you make peace with all aspects of your own psyche? How far are you willing to go in your own psyche and love that too. This is where confidence is born. This happens to men, women, or however you identify yourself. Yeah, it feels like one of the most attractive things is a regulated nervous system. It's the definition of success. Instead of saying how much money you make, it's like my level of success is how regulate was my nervous system today and how much did I laugh today. That is actually my definition of success. And so a regulated nervous system is a place where you can

stand next to someone and just take an exile for a second. To me, that is the most attractive thing. Another piece is for women that I'm constantly learning to transcend in my life is the sister wind. Comparison kills authenticity. And we are so ingrained to be in the presence of another powerful woman while your partner is there and to compare the shit out of yourself with that person. And I have done that so many times. I don't feel comparison when my partner isn't in the space. But the second I feel attraction between the other powerful woman and my partner this has happened with us and I've gone, and all these inadequacies come up and my comparison with that woman and then I need to leave the space because it's too uncomfortable, that did not

start with that situation. But it's in the self of realization. and the self-actualization in that moment is when it could actually potentially end. And I found that being in transparency and walking in integrity, life will meet me at that place. So to be transparent, to be authentic, and to be in integrity to sisterhood,

and to create safe spaces for women to actually transcend this separation and to actually genuinely have each other's backs and not when a hot single man comes into community and shows attention to both. of them, which has just happened, to go to the sister first and foremost and check in. How's your heart doing? How are you feeling? Where are you at? What is your truth? What is your relationship with this experience? And how can we come closer because of it? That's revolutionary. I believe when

sisters come together and stop comparing themselves with each other, we will start to see the planet heal. And we have been turned against each other to compete to be chosen by the man, to compete to be chosen by life to compete to get the job, to compete to get the more followers, to compete from each other to separate and compare ourselves with each other. We are leaking our life force power. We are leaking our integrity. We are leaking our vulnerability. We're leaking our authenticity through comparison. And that's the place where actually the magnetism is born. And so that's another piece that I really want to continue with my life is to genuinely celebrate the shit out of my sisters. And let their success be my success too. And when they succeed,

to celebrate them. And when they're down on all falls and they're crying to be with them and be a safe space, I think that everything else will work itself out from that point. But we just need to fill the spaces where we're leaking that power. And when we start to reclaim it from all these different pockets, which would be conditioned a way to avoid or to reject, that's where our power starts to come in. That's where when I can sit in front of another person and to be witnessed and to be seen as a powerful woman is because I have gone into these pockets and in few, use integrity. And so I'm constantly checking myself where I may be leaking that power and sometimes it's from blind spots and sometimes that's why it's important to have these reflections from

people that you trust. So I'll just come back to the original point. I can go off on tangents, but here we are. This podcast of the chatting, I guess. For me, the most attractive thing in another person or within any human is a regulate nervous system, pure and divided attention, a genuine curiosity to get to know somebody, and a melting a binary of their being wrong and wrong and right and just allowing our process of every single part of the human, H-U-E, human experience, to be sacred. And that, for me, of course, there's a physical attraction as well. And the physical attraction is usually a byproduct of self-love.

self-love has a morning practice self-love exercises self-love eats clean self-love cleans our environment that's attractive self-love is so magnetic and it is the center of our universe and our world and it's the way that we're going to hear the planet is going into those deeper level of self-love so I think that when we truly start loving ourselves in the mundane moments that activates our magnetism and our magnetism draws in the partner while also recognizing that what is meant for me there's nothing I can do to fuck it up and what is not meant for me, there's nothing I can do to make it happen. And that level of hands-off trust in the universe, oh, she, that's the power.

Like, that egg ain't chasing that sperm. That egg has just been real fertile and it's just sitting there like, and the sperm's like, and then when all the sperm gets to the egg, then the egg chooses who a partner is, that's embodiment. That's power. That's magnetism. And that's rooted in just being just the way that we are. That's beauty.

Such a potent reminder, just many aspects of coming back into authentic beauty and really living the life from the heart and those qualities that one can cultivate, which have their cascade and external ripple effects outside. You know how you show up for yourself, how you take care of your body, all of that in between, Lily is the cutest of all right now. Is she in frame? Can we see this by the way? You're not watching on YouTube. Go to YouTube. Watch the video. You'll be able to see my dog rolling around on the floor. always has our moments yeah yeah that journey of like coming to actually live in the heart and uh have it be on a solid foundation you know because you can like be in the higher energies but not rooted and grounded in our lower energies as well and that creates chaos and emotional turbulence and all of that as well so uh yeah just thank you for being and doing the own the work that you have done to, you know, through your core wounds, through your hearing,

through all the challenges that you've gone through, by facing them head on and facing the shadow head on, you gain that power back and you realize the gift that's on the other side of it. And I think that fundamentally we're attracted to people who are vibrant, you know, and we become vibrant when we discover our gifts and when we share our gifts. And we discover our gifts by virtue of realizing what's in the way of that. What's not the gift? You'd be like, wait, that's totally not it. That felt like a pile of shit in my experience.

And so the contrast, oh my goodness, I say thank you for that because now it's redirecting me to what's actually authentic. And Dharma looks beautiful on people. Like, oh my goodness, your skin becomes clearer. Your eyes become whiter. Your weight stays where you want it to be. Your teeth become whiter. the message is more stronger

and because the message resonates at the level of embodiment it can be saying the two same things from two different people one can be embodied one can not be embodied and that message lands way stronger than the not embodied piece and this is the vitality in the magnetism of Dharma that's why we need as many people as possible living a life of Dharma living a life of authenticity

that is of service to the collective and as Peter Crone said our vibratory state is our contribution to the collective mind. And so that is, you know, I thought it was it, the podcast we said earlier, it wasn't on this podcast, they're getting all mixed up at one. Sorry, they're just merging into one. But you said, you feel like the luckiest person alive. And that feeling is cultivated over a decade of devotion of the mundane moments, of the waking up, the going nightly routines, the how you choose to use your day, the how you let go of the distraction. That is not something that comes overnight.

And yet the magnetism is instantaneous. When you feel like the luckiest person alive and you're brimming with vitality and you're living a life of integrity and you can go to bed at night and say, I went all in. That is magnetism. And I mentioned this on the previous podcast. Deborah Silverman said to me that the lucky humans are the ones that live under the correct laws of the universe. and people can look at you and feel like and you say I'm the luckiest personal life I would say that you're doing something right I would say that you're doing something that is responding to you

in a way that's actually allowing your default to be abundant and so there's something to pay attention there and if you want to see how somebody is living internally look at their external life look at their connections look at their home environment look at their bed did they make it this morning it all comes down to the minute detail but the beautiful thing about this is available to everybody. Don't you take an end of the course. Don't need to travel the world or meet some guru in the Himalayas. Yes, you can do that. It's beautiful. And it can actually be found in the simple moments. It can be found in the in between mundane moments, the parts that you don't see on Instagram, the parts that are not on your stories, those moments that nobody's watching beside the Akashit

record. And one finger out, three fingers back every single time with the law of resonance, constantly reflecting back that they were emanating. that's I think the where magnetism is born from and the beautiful thing is that it's available to everybody. I think we talked a lot about the beauty that comes on the other side of letting go and releasing what you need to release, feeling the grief that you need to feel, you know, honoring the parts of ourselves that need to just be honored and witness and move through and alchemized all of that. And the beauty that comes on the other side of it, Just any last words that you have for helping people reframe whatever their challenge is,

if they don't feel like the luckiest person in the world, if they don't feel like they have this life of abundance and magnetism and are listening to this and are invariably dealing with something challenging in their life, whether it's a separation or they lost a job or they lost somebody that's close to them or whatever life throws at our ways, that it always will, those difficulties will always arise in some form or the other. How have you best found to be able to reframe those challenges as gifts? I think I write down all of the stories I'm telling myself around what's happening. This happened because I did this and this happened.

Whatever it is, whatever the stories are, because the stories are the things that are creating suffering. Inevitably, if the most sacred thing is what is and what is right in front of me as I'm going through this dark night of the soul, I have to be really, really careful with the stories I tell myself around what is happening. So I write them down and then I ask myself, and this is some of the work from Byron Katie, do I know that to be absolutely true? Is that exactly the truth? And usually it's not. It's the story I'm telling myself. And the stories are for creation. That's the only reason why we have stories. It literally creates worlds from it. And so if I'm telling myself, I fucked up, I did this, I should have known better, then I'm creating that to be my reality and I'm going to create a confirmation bias. And it's all I'm going to see to affirm that story is true. So when I can actually flesh out the stories and take my personal lens off of it, it comes back to trust. Trust that everything is happening for me, 100% of the time it has worked out up to this point. And can I shift these stories into an empowering nature? If I can get myself as authentically as possible into a state of gratitude to say thank you

for the situation and please allow me and I pray a lot. Whenever I feel like I haven't got the answer, I don't know where to go with this and I can't shift the story, I return. to prayer and I pray and I lay everything on the table. Mother Earth, Father, Sky to all my relations and all my ancestors. I don't know what is going on right now. I'm really struggling and with my conscious awareness right now I can't see the gift in what is happening. I hand over everything mentally, physically, spiritually, sexually, financially, multidimentially.

I hand over everything to the greatest good of the service of the whole. Please allow me to see something that I cannot see so that I can bring any unconscious patterning into my conscious awareness and I hand it over for the greatest good of all being involved in the situation. I pray and I pray for guidance. I pray to my angels. I pray for a miracle. I pray for a different shift of awareness. I play for an understanding and I pray to be used to a service to the greatest good. When I hand over my prize, I just feel so much lighter because I realize I don't have to do this all myself. But the only way that our ancestors, our angels, beings that are in the non-physical realm that are always with us can support us is if we actually

ask for it they aren't just going to come in with some divine intervention without the permission being granted so it is a conversation and i have a very very deep connection with something greater than myself and that allows me to have faith and trust and i'm not abiding by one religion i am in conversation with that that cannot be named but created everything and it's so much bigger than me and there's so much vaster than me and is the same consciousness that created the hummingbird or the flower. If you look deeply at a tiny spider on your finger, it's actually like a transform of quantum computer thing of miraculous capabilities all jam packed into this tiny being. That is the conversation I'm with with, but the creator of that and the creator of this

quantum computer we've been given, the creator of the cosmos and the stars. The thing that is we call the moon, which is an illuminated ball that controls the emotions and the waters of our body, which is over 70% of our construction of who we are, I pray and I hand it over. So when I review the stories I'm telling myself, I question my thoughts. I don't believe everything I'm thinking. I shift the narrative into an empowering conversation and I hand it over to something greater than myself. And 100% of the time it has worked out. So why would I not trust now? So it all comes down to faith. And over life's experiences, as much as my identity wants to have this experience,

I've always found that the gift has presented when I let go. And when I let go, that that is meant for me will always find me. So that's my path. Such a beautiful and powerful note to end this podcast on. I think what you just shared is it really is that process of surrendering to a greater intelligence to know that you don't have to hold everything within yourself by yourself that you can be held with the family and familiar and you know friendships and different connections that you have in the physical and then you can also surrender and trust

into the greater unknown into the non-physical and cultivating that relationship is the path of living a life that's a walk in prayer so thank you so much for sharing yourself today just so fun to weave with you and continue to see our journeys unfold and support each other and just appreciate and love you so much. Is there anything else that you want to share before we tune out? With the process that I've shared with you in the depth of the vulnerability of the triggers and the confrontation of your success,

my deepest, deepest genuine prayer is for this podcast to continue to expand and to hit the hearts and the minds and the souls of millions of people around the world because I believe in you with every fibre of my being. I have been able to live with you for three years and walk away from that relationship with nothing but the deepest reverence and respect. And that says something.

So my prayer is that your life is fulfilled with everything that your soul desires for the greatest evolution of yourself and the people that you serve. And I can hand on my heart say that for the rest of my life, I will forever be in your corner, celebrating you to every mountaintop and to every peak and every valley. I will be there as a friend, as an ally, as somebody that has my hand on your spine and cheering you on.

And I'm just truly grateful to be able to weave in such depth with you and such silliness and play and to be able to continue to weave parallel and support each other. So thank you so much for having me as a guest on the podcast. I was nervous coming on because you're kind of cool these days. And also I just wanted to say thank you to Chelsea for being here and for last minute showing up and just weaving your magic and your medicine behind the scenes and bringing this feminine essence and touch to everything Andro's creating. And for being my soul sister, like the fact that this stays within their family and we get to do this together is just the greatest gift that I have, one of the greatest gifts I've ever received in my life. So thank you for having me. It's such an honor to be here.

And I love you guys so much. we love you thank you so much that was incredible i've all received all those words and you know blue has the gift of the gab and she's really good giving her words of affirmation oh no brown cow just like that just leave it on with a very conscious cherry but just your gift in the way that you really show up and how you reflect the beauty that you see and others it allows them to realize the beauty that they have within themselves and that's the greatest gift that you can give people. So thank you for choosing to show up the way that you do in the world. And for everybody that's tuning in, if you don't know already, check out Blues Podcast, Deja Blue.

It's awesome. It's coming back. It's going to be released again soon, season three coming back, right? Well, no, actually, we didn't decide to go through a new season. I just decided to take a pause. Nice. And that's a beautiful thing about being my own boss. I'm like, and I'm done for seven weeks. And I come back and we're like, we're back again. I feel like our life revolves around podcasts. Like I watched a whole podcast this morning and then I went on yours, then I came back. I listened to somebody else's podcast, and then we're doing a podcast. There's a podception all over the place. But it's great.

And I also, with my podcast, because it's been many years, it goes in the seasons my life goes in. So when I'm going through like Dark Night at the Soul, all of a sudden, end of season two. And we're like, we'll be back soon until I patch myself together with the deeper level of awareness around what the fuck was that? And then I come back with season three and I got more to share. And so when life becomes, oh, the podcast becomes parallel to life

that goes through seasons and it goes through the cyclic natures. And we just continue to share vulnerably around these different parts in our journey. I think that's what's beautiful about us sharing our journey and our relationship with our, sorry, our relationship through the podcast is we shared when we were together. And that kind of resonance and reflection. And then we shared when we just separated or like once we started to heal from that and that was a really potent share. Now we share like a year and a half out from being separated.

And there's also potency in that And we'll just continue to evolve from that Yeah, and also Lily knows when it's the end of the podcast Because she licks me like nonstop So I'm getting like completely drenched in Lily saliva Which is always a great thing Because I've been blessed by the schnoo herself You got lit confirmation. All right

Well everywhere you guys can find Blue Her podcast, Florescence Which is the woman online community social media group We'll be linked down in the description below For everybody that's been tuning To this incredible podcast Thank you so much. I just really deeply appreciate everybody that tunes in. And we receive all of the messages, all the comments, all the heartfelt moments when you guys are impacted by what we share. And we often, I say this sometimes where we can see the numbers online. But to remember that each number represents a human being that's on their own path and journey of awakening and healing. And to feel into the joy and just deep knowing that there is this collective family that's out there all over the world is just so excited. So thank you for coming on that journey.

Until next time, be well.