Knowledge Fight - #851: Erica Lafferty Returns

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

In this installment, Dan and Jordan are thrilled to welcome noted Raptor Princess Erica Lafferty back to the show to get into the really important issues, like whether or not penguins are secretly fish, and Erica's go-to karaoke jams.

I Ready Not knowledge fight Damn and Jordan I am sweating Knowledge fight that comes it's time to pray I have great respect for knowledge, but knowledge fight I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys. Shang. I have great respect for knowledge, Faith. Knowledge, Faith. I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys. Shang-ni are the bad guys.

Knowledge, Faith. Dan and Jordan, Knowledge, Faith. Need money, need money. Need money, need money. Andy and family. Andy and family. Stop it. Andy and family.

Andy and family. Andy. It's time to stop at Andy and Andy and Andy and Hansa and Andy and Andy. Just time to pray. Andy and Hansa sure only your face for holding. So I like some of this in quality, but you're saying I love your world knowledge fight. No, no, no, no, not knowledge fight. Come. I love you.

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the show. I am here with Jordan. And we're very excited to be joined today by a special guest guest who is a Raptor princess is taking on that moniker and run with it or galloped with it What would what are raptors do Jordan? How do they? Raptors Raptor dinosaurs a bird. So what are birds do they hop? Birds do not hot. What is what are bird's hop? No So what do birds do? Do they hop? Birds do not hop.

What is, what do we do about birds hop? No, they, how do Chavins walk around? They like to eat, here's what they do. They eagle. All right, that's what Raptors, Raptor princesses, they just eagle. You know, that's what they do. Counterpoint.

Sure. Penguins waddle. What about that? They're birds, right? Penguins are not, I don't think they're birds. I think that's a thing. I think they're fished. Fish birds. I think they're fish birds. Anyway, I'm excited to see what our guest has to say about what it's called when birds walk around. Ericka Laffordy, thank you for joining us again. Google says that penguins are birds. Take that Jordan.

I really just googled it. To make sure they weren't fish. Yes, it was like, oh my god, you don't know this. I should know this. I like really well penguins. I feel like they would have made a bigger deal out of them being fish in March of the penguins if they were fish. Seeing as they walk around on ice and are March of the penguins if they were fish. Seeing as they walk around on ice and they're out of the water. What a bunch of weird fish. That would have been

fun. That would have been fun. They also give birth, right? They have live birth. It's not like eggs, right? Penguins? No, what do they do? Well, I like fear Google search history right now You're gonna get some penguin anime mango It is it is kind of our our thing to have on Eric a lafferty and be like let's really Google penguins together That's our show And that's our show. You know what? There's no one I would rather do it with. I'm just saying.

We broke through the sort of unfamiliarity, the first time we talked. And now we can just sort of mess around and talk about penguins and what they do. When all three of us have zero ideas, I'm just going to say there's a fish. Did they give birth? Are there just eggs? Like do we know? I feel like I was the only person of the three of us who was totally confident they weren't fish. Oh no, I do they weren't fish. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of myself. I knew they were not fish. It's a, it's a, in another life, I was a successful comedian. When somebody says something with enough confidence and like sounding

serious, oftentimes people just believe it. So that's what I think happened with you. You knew it wasn't a fish, but Jordan was just so like matter of fact about. Oh, it's, it's terrible. It's a skill. I could just say very confidently not true things. And it drives my wife insane. It drives her insane because it question,

it's funny gaslighting to me. I mean, that's not just the talent of a husband though. Oh, no, I mean, I hope not. Is that what they do? Oh, God. I think it exists outside of marriages too. Because I once told a friend of mine that the the but hole is the only part of the human body that doesn't grow as you age. And he repeated it to multiple people, including on a podcast that he was recording. And he did not realize I was not being serious. I'm creating from that Google search.

I will just settle that one for you. So Erica, how are you? How are things? I mean, I'm good. I'm alive, which is great. I had made a comment the last time we spoke, like, oh, if I lived to see my 38th birthday, which is in six days, friends. What? Wait, I know. So I think the odds are in my favor. I feel like I got at least another six days in me.

That's great. That's the kind of attitude we like to hear. I've got at least another six days in me. That's great. That's the kind of attitude we like to hear. I've got at least about a week in me, at the time for sure. Yeah, like I will not do die in six days. Well, I mean, you know, the odds may not be in your favor and you might die in the Hunger Games in the next six days. So that is true.

I mean, I'm available on the future. Yeah. All right. Doesn't like, can you just volunteer as tribute, no matter what? I mean, I feel like I volunteered as tribute for so many fucking things. I will.

You do volunteer. I was going to say that was not your choice. Yeah. So yeah, I've seen some updates. We haven't really spoken much since we last recorded a conversation, but I've seen some updates on the GoFundMe that you have about your condition and the cancer treatments. And it seems like things are fairly positive, most of the time. Yeah, I feel like I've had pretty consistent, not so horrible news.

I was a little disappointed after my first scan post radioactive iodine treatment. Pretty much all that did was make me go crazy locked in a room by myself with no humans and no dogs. And then as soon as it was like out of my body, the tumor just started growing at this crazy rapid pace. And yeah, the doctor gave it the whole treatment. Yeah, they're like, all right, let's change course and then like it got so big and so close to my frontal lobe. It's no longer considered an orbital tumor. It's classified as a brain tumor and I Less than two millimeters away from it connecting to my frontal lobe, which is fucking terrifying It's spread to two additional lymph nodes since I've talked to you guys.

I take back what I said about mostly goodness. Yeah, I was gonna say. No, but like, but here's here's the great thing, right? So I'm on two different forms of daily chemo. One of them is the one, of course, it's not covered by insurance that I'm taking like two times the normal dose for. So that's a fun 40 to $45,000 a month. Yeah, the other one, however, is covered by insurance. That's only $1500 a month. And I'm also on a new therapy, which is only $1,000 a month. I'm also on a new therapy which is only a thousand dollars a month. The great news

about this like combo that we have going is that the the tumor in my I guess forehead at this point has shrunk just under a half an inch since I started treatment in April, which is awesome. It seems like it seems like that's a considerable size for something inside your head. You know, like a half an half an inch kind of a territory. It's like, yeah, that's not that big when you're talking about like, I don't know, if you're running. Exactly.

The inside your head. I don't know. If you're running, a large thing. Exactly. Inside your head. Yeah. So I'm my current size of like the actual tumors about an inch and a half in diameter. So I've seen a quarter shrinkage. But since I've been on this like cocktail of medication, it's shrinking much more rapidly than it was at the beginning. Okay, that's very positive. Yeah, and then even though I'm up to four lymph nodes versus the initial

well one, I guess I think it was two when I had spoken to you guys. Those masses are getting much smaller, like to the extent that like one popped up, it was fairly big. I was scheduled to go for a biopsy, then my brother died. So I had to like cancel it because it was like the day that my brother died. And I went for a scan that was pre-scheduled and they were like, Oh, it's actually gotten so small that like we're not even going to biopsy it. And I'm like, I'm going to take that as good news, man. Yeah, that's either great news or a terrible doctor.

One of the two. Yeah. I'm just like, I want a half day. I'm not doing this. Great, I don't feel like doing this biopsy today. Yeah. Yeah. No, you'll be fine, kid.

Get out of here. Yeah, but also it's not another brain tumor. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it sounds like it's pretty decent stuff for in terms of manageability. You know, outside of expense type issues, in terms of like the reality of what you're dealing with health wise, it's, it sucks to say it could be way worse, but that's,

well, I mean, I'm also like incredibly fortunate that both of my keep form as a chemotherapy are in pill form. So I have Switch you over see my little I have a wrap on my little mini fridge And my chemo pills are in there. I don't have to have a port. I Get to do all of my treatment from home my immunotherapy injections get mailed to my house I do the injections myself to do all of my treatment from home, my immunotherapy injections get mailed to my house. I do the injections myself, so I really only have to go to the doctor for my blood work scans, and I haven't even had to go back for a biopsy in several months. So I'm very, very

poor. And I have hair. Yeah, that's great. I noticed that. That's great. I'm not super observant, but I did notice hair. So actually, I had a thought. So with these expensive chemo things, have you tried GoodRX? I'm sure they don't have chemo on there, but I have some anti-depressants. And they were like $400. I went on there and they were 11. There was just a coupon that took it from 400 to 11. It's ridiculous.

Yeah. Good RX takes me from 60 to $65,000 down to 40 to $45,000. It's ridiculous. I have always enjoyed talking to you, but it's been a while and I've forgotten how much screaming I have to suppress. Like when we talk, like, I mean, it's nice. It's it's a, I mean, it's almost unfortunate, you know, because normally Dan and I record a full disclosure, normally we record in the same room together and today we're in separate rooms. And I feel fine screaming at the top of my lungs in his place, but these are my neighbors now. You know, I can't I can't offend them with my fury.

I'm sure your wife's at work and she isn't telling you to be quiet. They're not going to stop me. But I do have some very kind neighbors and yeah, it'd be unfortunate. That is your neighbor. No, they just moved in. Okay, sorry. The ones that I hate. Oh, it's the old neighbors that you hated.

The old neighbors. God. Okay. God. My bad. Yeah. New ones are great. But yeah, Jordan, I mean, you know, it's a lot of this stuff

does make a person want to scream. How could you not? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very difficult, along with any number of other things going on. I mean, how exactly are your, like, Erica, how is your interactions in the daily life going? Like I have such a hard time getting inside of your life experience. So I'd like to know exactly how you Live. Okay. So today I woke up and I'm just like, I feel really run really run down, right? And like that sucks and I woke up I started working at six. I work six to two thirty. I've got the kids on the bus got one off the bus. Oh, you still have to work. Hi! Sorry. Sorry, I'm about to get an off the bus in about 10 minutes and like for the most part, my days are like today. But Saturday, I needed help standing up out of bed and was using a walker around my house. There are days that I wake up

and the tumors shifted back just a little bit and I have a super hard time with mobility. I have a really difficult time with word recall frequently. Even on like the better days, I'm like, what's the word? What's the word? And it's like, oh, well, that's a fucking computer. Just random things that I just can't. Is a penguin a fish? All right, I'm not. I feel like it would be really unfair to the cancer community to blame that on the cancer and not my share of stupidity.

See, this is this is taking responsibility in the face of not absolutely need you don't need to you don't need it. Anybody else would let you let you let you up the hook. It's not a ring cancer. I'm just dumb. This is the this is the mark of nobility. I'm just dumb. This is the, this is the mark of nobility. Speaking of the mark of nobility, instead of a walker, may I recommend a cane? Because then you can have like all kinds of affectations with it,

and you could hide a sword. You need a sword, you need a sword, cane. You do. And then once you're with a raptor handle, I mean, come on. Oh my god. And it's, you're feeling better. You can twirl it around and like it can be just like. It could be fire breathing. It could be fire breathing.

It could be a lighter. Yeah, you could flick it and the. I need to understand. We are attempting to slowly turn you into a super villain. That is what's going to happen. Now that we've spoken this into the universe That is what's going to happen. Now that we've spoken this into the universe, some listeners going to make this. I've never considered a lizard skin jacket to go along with this. Have you considered an underground compound like maybe dug out of a cave?

maybe dug out of a cave. So actually, I used to live about a mile from my sister and I don't even remember why if it was like a snow thing or the fact that we're just both agoraphobes or if we were planning for the apocalypse or something, but we had at one point talked about digging an underground tunnel to get from her house to mine. Nice. Maybe it was a combination of all of those things. Anyway, I regret not doing that. I regret not doing that. I think you probably made the right call.

The city gets mad when you try and take underground tunnels. I've found it. Yeah, I mean, what would that call before you dig ticket look like? Right? It would be prohibitive. underground tunnels. I've found yeah, I mean, what would that call before you dig ticket look like, right? It would be prohibitive. They would really really. I mean, isn't the, it isn't the whole idea of digging though that you kind of think you're going to get away with it, you know, you're underground. What are they, where are they looking? You struck oil now granted. It was in a pipe that was doing somewhere.

You struck oil now granted it was in a pipe that was doing somewhere But in septic leech field like that's what I would do Yeah, yeah, it's easy to mistake that for oil though. I would assume Okay, yeah, right I thought we'd go Dan Way to go Oh well I thought we could make you. Wait, go Dan. Wait a go. Oh, well. I've ruined the vibe. So yeah, but continue.

How's your, how's your, I mean, are you quarantined still? Are you still being? Oh, no. I mean, it was really just like that first week and a half, but I'm not doing the radioactive iodine anymore. I'm actually not doing radiation at all, which I guess is good. but I'm not doing the radioactive iodine anymore. I'm actually not doing radiation at all Which I Guess is good. I mean I like for not being locked in a room part

Although I do kind of want to lock myself in a room sometimes You don't need iodine to do it, you know, you can you can make a choice. I'm just gonna buy deadbolt That's yeah I'm just gonna buy a deadbolt. That's, yeah. Hmm. Here, I'll give you a, I'm dumb moment. I didn't know that there was non radioactive chemotherapy. I just, because I've not had a lot of exposure to it,

I didn't know, I just assumed. He hasn't had a lot of exposure to radiation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So with the radioactive iodine treatment, like, basically I took like three pills and it just like like anything I touched would become radioactive with traditional like targeted radiation. It's like not great to be around babies or I mean, you know, compromise people, but like it's not as much of a risk, but you don't have to be isolated after it. My chemo pills are also like

radioactive, but like it's not spewing from my pores, so like I have this separate tiny little refrigerator, refrigerator with my little raptor on it that's like specifically for my meds because I don't want to put it in my normal fridge with the vegetables that the kids eat. So it's like smaller precautions, but not like super dangerous to the people around me. Okay, yeah, sounds better. Yeah. Radiation is, Radiation's always interesting to me

because I feel like it has almost the reverse cultural impact of like quicksand or something, you know, like I the in the culture when I was growing up quicksand, the most terrifying thing, right? Radiation. I was just talking to my ass. Radiation turns you into a superhero, right? These two things happen in real life quicksand, not really that much of an issue. Radiation huge problem. Real issue. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Quickstand is not a non-issue. It's just you're not going to run into it.

Why did they make us so fucking scared of it? Because it's kind of cool as an idea. It is, it is, I mean, there's a way to die. It's not bad. No one will even meet up the random stink holes. That's true. Those, those are probably nothing glamorous about or exotic about a sinkhole. That can happen just like in your backyard or somewhere where it's like quick sand, quick sand. And it's part of an adventurer's story like Indiana Jones finds quick sand. There's artificial time limits involved. you know, it's like the

there's always a slowly descending spikes, you know, it's that is that kind of like having this fucking dead, like, deathly fear of quicksand. And like, I've never encountered it. I'm almost 38, man. Where's the quicksand? I have often concern, I've been concerned as to whether or not quicksand is a fish. That's always been an issue for me. It's full of fish.

I learned to bring it in the quicksand. It's terrifying. I don't want to ruin the vibe again, but I can't not mention this. There is a very large quicksand fetishist community. I know this because a lady that I met at a party was regaling me with her exploration of it. Like there's a bunch of people have like, quick saying videos. This was years ago, but not good ones. That's for sure. I make no bones about it. I would go where people would allow me to be and that was not the, wasn't high society. I'll say that. But yeah, I mean, there's like the tension of it, I guess. You know, like you're slowly sinking.

I don't know. Anyway, I ruined the vibe again. I'm like pondering like it wouldn't be the worst way to die. Wait, is that the fetish? Or are we, is it, are we, see this is the concern I have about the fetish community that you've just described. You've just said, quicksand fetish, which could mean so many fucking different things.

Uh-huh. I think it's like the, I don't think it like involves people dying in quicksand. I think it's like the struggle of it. Is it like dipping your, is it dipping stuff into your quicksand? Is that what's going on? Is it like a, is it like a jacuzzi kind of scenario?

No, it's my understanding that it's the like people being in quicksand and trying to get out. I think right. Oh, it's like that. It's like the people. Yeah, it's like the people who have the eating fetish where they're like, oh, I don't want to be eating that kind of. Talking for.

Yeah. Yeah. eating fetish where they're like, oh, I don't want to be eating that talking for yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I Thought I thought people were just fucking quicksand Once again, I feel like we all don't know enough about this subject to really get to the bottom of it and you should not Google it My my search history is going to be like our penguin for do bothole grow. Can you put a quick stand? Do do but holes grow is almost a poetic like Judy Bloom novel. And it's it's it's less can you fuck quicksand and shoot or it's should you. Yeah. Should you.

Who does? Yeah. I mean, when I was growing up, we had a American pie and that could easily be quick sand in a heartbeat. You know, you just moved the the pie tin really? So we I feel like we're still off track of your day. I feel like we have we're still on that. Yeah, so. Well, I mean, yeah, so there's like the days like today where I'm and all of the things and then there are the days that like I'm just completely bed ridden barely know my

own fucking name or if I know no I just don't know it like I'm like I don't know it's whatever and just there's nothing there's no function there's no words um but like I've been really really really lucky for the most part. I probably have only taken a combined like week off of work that was specifically like sickness related. I did get an accommodation to my schedule. So instead of like the 9 to 6, I'm working at 6 to 230 because by 3 o'clock, 3 30, I'm dragging ass, and I'm just, I'm fucking tired,

and sleep has been a really big problem. I just like, can't get comfortable. I'm achy, waking up to projectile vomit all over the place. I get like random, like burns. So I have like, in between like these two fingers there's like just like a little scar and I have what my husband has started calling my tomato toes because my toes are always just bright red and have like I mean at this point it almost looks like like scar burns unlike the like knuckles of my toes. Weird. Yeah, super weird.

But apparently it's like a nightmare in college. And it's like, yeah, like the cancer. Like the fuck is the cancer. Yo cancer. I was hoping when you said you have random burns, it was just that you sporadically insulted people. you have random burns, it was just that you sporadically insulted people. Well, I mean, I feel like that's just a personality trait of mine.

Sure. With the burns like on your toes, is it like, like, what? Is, do you know how there's like a rub kind of burn? Yeah, like, like, the twisty burn, right? Like, I'm the one with like, that was the thing back in the heat. So think like the twisty burn, right? Like I'm a hunter, that was the thing back in the day. And it looks like that. But then it hurts. And there's one brand of an oncology cream, just the one brand that makes it not feel like my toes

are on fire. And it will last for three days that that I need like the constant oncology cream and then it just turns into like scarring until it comes back again in a week. And it's just on my, I don't know, is it called a pointer toe? Like what are toes called? Yeah, it's a pointer toe. It is now. All head human bodies are like so long and yet it still is a fun pastime to just be like, what happens to this?

What is going on? I'm going to give you, I'm going to fly the middle toe actually. Right, right. So how is my best possible and my pointer toe knuckles and like where the toe meets the foot. And it's like on that, those like four creases that I get like my tomato toe and it turns and then like a little spot on my right foot. And then also like in between my pointer and ring finger on my right hand happens like here.

And then I get like splotches on the top of my hand and it's only on my right hand and my right foot. Sounds fun. That makes our sense to me. Yeah, I mean it definitely tracks. Um, so that's fun. Yeah, you got right hand right footburn disease. I can't because I'm a fucked up left handed person. That can be. I can't be because I'm a fucked up left-handed person. That could be. Honestment. It's good to know that they're like all these like weird side things that you don't know

about. Unless you're experiencing this or someone you know is experiencing it. All the fun little added sort of kicks in the pants. Water, water is not the same. I can only drink. Water is not the same. I can only drink. Water is not the same. There's like a deck of ice. Big statement.

Yeah. That's what we have been like. I don't know, just like spring water, this like flowing spring that like I'll go there and there's like a line of like four cars to like fill jugs from this spring by my house. I've lost water. Please let it be sparkling now for you. Like just, I'm hoping that it's like

it's dropping. Drink it. It tastes like I've never eaten a worm, but I feel like it's what a worm would taste like. I can't drink springs. I can't drink Fiji. I can't drink off. I can't drink Dastani, but the Aldi brand water. only if it comes from the gallon jug Okay, tastes normal We're doing a lot of plugs for Aldi lately. I've just started talking about my love of Aldi We've seen a lot of Aldi positivity It's a great cancer water Considering the amount of all the heat that I recall from 10 15 years ago, it's a remarkable turn around. It's my jam, it's my jam, it's all the only water I can drink.

Everything else just tastes either too minimally or like worms or like dirt. I was that one of the side effects on the pill bottles is like oh from now on only all the water will taste normal every other water will taste like I'm gonna I'm gonna like quadruple check but like I feel like it's not there and then if it is not I will write to the manufacturer now Now here's where things get messy. Because that's the thing I should be mad at them for. You are like 90% water. And like almost everything that you eat or other drinks are mostly water.

Does it affect other things too or is it just water? So no, it's not just water. I've always not benefited of soda. I would drink the occasional ginger ale. Now from the time I wake up at 5.30 in the morning until the time I go to bed, Diet Coke. Like watered down, non like like watered down. Watered down.

Watered down, like that's the ice made with the Aldi water. Melted down in the diet coke. And I like leave it out so it's like not super carbonated. And that I can drink. But everything else is just like metallically or it's weird coffee, coffee tastes like pumpkins. Doesn't that speak to the arbitrary nature of the brain? Right. Doesn't that speak to the arbitrary nature of the brain? Right? Like if you have a brain tumor, it's putting pressure on different spots than what is normal.

And so it's just like poking, it's bananas how it works. Let's all, and I need to like only drink all these water. And hook things until, yeah, see? I bet Aldi is working on a tumor specifically for that water. Have you considered that this is all Aldi's fault? No, mother fuckers. They were working on at the Wuhan. This is from eating the Aldi food.

No, I love Aldi food. I do. I love this. I have this sauce that I get at all the the Rojo sauce. Still sitting right next to my computer because I use it all the time. I just love it. We are not we are not sponsored. What is happening right now? Oh, I have a kid getting home. That's the situation here. So could you give us a little bit of an update on where you are with the case and all of that information. Or just more dogs. more dogs are fine. Oh my god. They're insane. Okay, so it is to the point. I think the last time we talked you were like, oh, what's going on with the bankruptcy

and how are the families kept up to date? And I was like, oh, if there's something big, they'll be like, oh, family, it's, can you meet at this time? We have a standing weekly meeting at this point. Oh, wow. weekly meeting at this point. Oh wow. Yeah. Frequently, it's pulled down because Jones pulls some shit and then pour Eleanor and the rest of the team are dragged into all of this other bullshit. I've only been able to join a couple of times

because, again, work kids, brain tumor. Like, God, crazy dogs. But yeah, I don't know. The updates are there and my legal team is sucking phenomenal. I cannot say that enough. I'm gonna, I'm gonna be, my God, with dogs, I can't. The last thing that I saw was that Jones, it was actually one of the wonks sent it to me. He requested a 15% pay increase.

And I was like, He's going through tough times. You can only go to the white for vacation like two or three times a quarter. Right. I'm like this motherfucker. Bro, you owe me $111 million and I'm proud of something because I don't have enough money to pay for my chemo this year. This is not a future treatment this year. And you need more money? Mm hmm. I had 11% or whatever, you're 15% or whatever, you skim that off of whatever he's getting paid.

And it probably goes a long way towards some of your expenses. You know, I wonder, I wonder if like these people at the bankruptcy court are, you know, like what does it feel like to receive this information without emotion. You know, like, what is it like to be one of those psychos? Because that's unacceptable shit, you know, like just simply for you to save that to out loud, let alone write it. Let alone put it in writing where it can exist forever is unacceptable. Shit. So you have to be an insane person to read it and be like, let's consider this as to whether or not this is okay in bankruptcy case law, right?

Right. So pitch to like this committee of plaintiffs who have been tortured and traumatized at his hand. Right. And like then they have to like, I don't know. I have. But I mean, like if you this committee of plaintiffs can't find it in your heart to fund his fifth vacation to Hawaii this quarter, then you're just taking this to personally. This is a work vacation. He needs to go try and infiltrate Mark Zuckerberg's underground compound. All right. Now you have me thinking I really need to do some self-reflection. The trauma that I am causing to Alex Jones.

I find so interesting about this is that I really don't give it. Like this is one of those situations where I really don't blame Alex at all. This is fuck yeah. Of course, ask for more money. Who fucking cares? He's a con. He's rational. He's, yeah, he's going to scam. I am mad that any, anybody is at all allowed to at all of this.

So like, for me, Alex is the only person here who I am not mad at in this story. I mean, you obviously, I'll be obvious. I'll be obvious. I'm not okay. I'll be as like, ah, no, but to me, this is a complete fuck up for every lawyer, and they should all be really disgusted with themselves for existing, you know? Like just to hear this story, you should say to yourself, oh, if only there was something a human could do. And then you should be like,

the last time human said that was, you know, like let's put people in ovens. So it's like fucking insane. To me, that this is okay. But like, sorry, look at the population of human we're talking about. Jones fucking paddisk. Wait, oh, norms still in the mix? Uh, I don't know, but yeah, that's what I'm saying. Bankruptcy lawyers are psychopaths. Norm's doing something though. He's like a little finger just hanging around

somewhere whispering advice. God, he's so creepy. I think he's more like the hanger on in a children's group story like a stand by me. I do like I should do some advertising for Norm Patis. He should hire me and pay, I don't even pay me money, just pay for my treatment. And I'll be your advertiser.

That would be interesting. That would be interesting. If you want to lose $1.5 billion, hire me. If you want to go to jail for 18 years, hire me. And I'll just be there just speaking to what I know about norm paddys, which should be fair, I've only known for like a year. But I've been a good material.

I got some good material. He's been pushing it this year. Right. If there was a year, $1.5 billion, and then that's in dude sentence 18 years great job norm yeah you want to get your entire norm had us

yeah guys rushing it but it's strange to me out considering the amount of like statistics that people keep track of I really feel like somebody has to be able to measure norms year against the all-time like like a you know like a baseball stats I was in a replacement. Yeah, absolutely. How much worse than an actual lawyer is he?

You know what I'm saying? I feel like that point, Tails, going to do a lot of numbers. No, the replacement is larpies. In this past year, I've gone through the Alex Jones trial, right? So like the 10-year anniversary of my mom's murder, got diagnosed with a fucking brain tumor and my baby brother died,

and I still think Norm Pattas had a worse year than me. Oh, damn! That's a grim picture. I feel like I have to start a war based on those sentences. Let me justify why that might be true. I don't know why you know why I feel like I have to start a war based on those sentences. Let me justify why that might be true. You still have a great amount of decency and humor about yourself and ability to cope with this positively.

Norm is very clearly in denial about how bad his year is. You know, he's living in an illusion where he did everything right and he did a good job and like outside forces were what what screwed him over. Now he's living in an illusion where he did everything right and he did a good job and like outside forces were what screwed him over. And you didn't say the end word in an open mic. So you've got that going for you for sure. For a job, I can't. True.

Both of those things are true. It's a good bit though. I mean, like, it's a good set. He's very funny. He should be booked at the life factory. Oh, I, I, you know, for of all the like, when I stop and think about it, you know, through all our, our years of like, open mic stand up in the Chicago scene, I have seen a lot of people with day jobs, try stand up comedy. I have never met anyone sadder than Norm Patis,

and I have met some truly sad people. I have met a few. I want to talk about specific things. I was going to say, I feel like I know the names that we're banding about in our silent lead-ahead. Oh, yeah, we do. I did have one time though, a guy did pull down his pants, but it was an audience member while I was on stage.

Really? I've seen three pants pull down. The first time I met, actually, I won't tell that story. Good call. I had a situation where a guy was calling me the Efsler for no reason while I was on stage. And then he was like, Hey, do you want to see my dick? And I was just like, Yes, please. Everybody here wants to see your dick.

And very clearly not serious. And then he pulled that pulled it out and started doing the helicopter move with it and all right started walking towards the the stage and I'm like, this is going to get real good. And then security took him and he had to, he had to leave. But you know, I wanted to see what his closer was going to be. Like sure. Yeah. Absolutely.

There like, like what is the end to that? Like probably punching me. I mean, I assume like what? Wow. Good boy. Yeah, I heard about norm norm didn't do that. And so, true, guess. Is that. One point norm padded. Yeah, it probably is really helpful for you, you know, in this really difficult time in your life to be able to have someone like him though to look at as like a boo.

At least I'm not that guy. Exactly. Yeah. At least I'm not that chlamille. All right. Man. So one thing that I think is really cool that I want to give a little bit of a plug to or talk to you about a little bit about your feelings about because I'm really excited about it is I mentioned this before we started recording, but there's going to be a beer in your honor that's going to be.

That's what we're about to. Yeah. I'm so excited. There is a Raptor princess IPA that is going to be released from a small brewery that is going to have proceeds going to your your treatment fund and what have you. But yeah, how do you feel about this? This is exciting, right? No one's ever made a beer for me Oh my god, it's okay first of all it's the coolest fucking thing in the entire world I So I have had have I still don't know how to say this three brothers right well That I just held up the number four, but let's pretend that didn't happen so

I've three younger brothers, my baby brother died in August, and literally in his obituary, I wrote, like, you know, like talking about the things that he loved to do, it was like, you know, Brian loved trying new IPAs with his brother-in-law and best friend Steve, because my husband introduced him to Goodbeer

and not Bitchbeer, which my other two brothers drink. So we got the baby drinking IPAs with us. The day after Brian dies, I get the mock-up for the artwork of the Raptor Princess Beer. And I was like, this is fucking amazing. I love this. Brian would have loved it. What I do know though, when they approached me with this idea, is that I was going to have some input on the taste of said beer. You did. I can't believe this is a question. Okay.

Big review. Yeah. Okay. So, can you make it taste like a worm water? This is what worm water tastes like. Have a taste. This is this tastes pretty good. I'm going to send you some I'm going to send you a jug of all the water and see if you can recreate that kind of a duplicate this all the water but get me drunk. That's that's actually a that's something that I hope to say someday,

but on the real tip, what what did you go with? What how what are your thoughts on that? So so I have there's a very small brewery in Connecticut that has this this beer that's called Fuzzy Baby Duck. And it's like very citrusy and it goes down smoothly but gives you a real, real, hoppy kick. And then I don't know, I know Dave's had it, but there's another one, a double IPA that's a sip of sunshine. I don't know if you've had that.

So anyway, he was like, oh my God, I actually just had that. And I was like, yeah, it's like really big on the East Coast. And I was like, if you could mush those two things together. So like, we were talking about all the different notes and all of that. And he was like, all right, all right. Yeah, I'm going to roll with this. And I was like, holy shit, I had no idea that I was going to be able to like have any kind of play. And like, what?

My name is on the can. Yeah. That's that is on the can. Yeah. That's that is so much fun. I mean, it's a it's new spring beer is the the company, right? That's the company. Yeah. Yeah. Dave is the person who's who's spearheading.

Yeah, it's that's so awesome. Like just I mean, beyond just the name on the camp, but being able to create like input for the flavors. Right. It's just so fun. It's so fun. Like something that like in my wildest dreams, I never like, I have always loved IPAs. People have always thought I'm crazy because like, you know,

I'm like 2021 and all my friends are like, I don't like beer. Like they won't even drink a second flood light. And I'm like, let me try the IPAs, right? And it's like before they got super popular. You're a hipster. You're 2021. So you're early 2000s. And you've got friends. They're all about if I recall, this was when Zima is at its peak.

People were, it was the Zima is at its peak. People were, it was the Zima. It was, people were icing each other. They were doing the smear and off lace. You got the smear and off ices all over the place. And like, if they did drink a beer, it's like, oh, give me a corona with lime because like we always drink at this place called

Senior Panchos. It was like our go to they had karaoke every Wednesday. And I'd be like a corona with lime like I would literally bring every child needs to grow up with the senior conscious. You as they can. Yeah. Yeah. This this brings me to a very important question. And that is what is your karaoke go to or what was back then? Uh oh. You sound you you just made a face that is looks like you're a bear. So so

Avril Lavigne. Sure. Nothing wrong with that. That song. Complicated. That just girlfriend. Hey, hey you you I don't like a girlfriend. Yes. That one. I think you need a new one. Yeah. Yeah. That was yours. There was a thing with like my best friend and her boyfriend who may or may not have had a fiance. Um, so like that was kind of our goal. At the time or now, no, now they've been, I was there made of honor in 2008 and they are happily married with four kids. Just saying. But at the time there was a full question of whether or not it could have, it could have gone either way. Yeah, there was somebody that would have made her dad very unhappy Available. Yeah, probably yeah, so like we that was like our go-to song

It was like the was it the normal one or was it the version with a little mama? The rapper a little mama. It was the normal one. It was the normal one. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember that music video for that song? Like, I feel like that was where she got a lot of heat for like, co-opting Japanese culture in an insensitive way. I feel like she really got, she really got taken to task for that.

Avro. She might have been married to Chad Kroger of Nickelback at the time. Nickelback. Every fucking, I mean, we're living in a world now where every fucking thing I hear sounds like madlibs. Yep. It really does. It just sounds like I bring these things up as to drive you insane. It feels like I'm crazy. It really does because I don't have an awareness of these things and then they just pop up and people are expecting me to have a be okay with it.

It's wild. No. Wild. So you'd go with our expecting to know. Yeah. So Avalobin definitely go to Christina Aguilara dirty. I'm sure want to get a little bit. Yeah, yeah, it was it was great. And we would always voice of it all off on Wednesdays and Wednesday was karaoke night.

So we would wait until the mall opened and go to the mall and we would buy our Wednesday night outfit. And it was always like matching and it was like, you know, like the land of like or the time, the era of like the quote shirts. Oh, yeah. Oh, no fear. No fear. Yeah. Yeah, so like I had one that was like get in line and I had like a dude the flowers, a dude with chocolate and then like a dude with a ring

and it just said like get in line or, you know, just like random, we had one. Oh, that's. I could be your alibi. We had alibi shirts. We just straight up had one that said like we don't like you. Dill with it Those confrontational ass shirts

So yeah, that was fun, but we would go to the mall we pick out our Wednesday outfits We would eat Chinese food at the mall and then start drinking at like four o'clock This is very similar to a lot of my routines except for the buying new clothes the drinking early and then going to karaoke was yeah No, but everyone's that mark See how I got up and went to work on Thursday beyond me, but I did it Exactly you didn't Thursday being the day off is so much easier, you know if karaoke night is Wednesday night But you couldn't you couldn't buy the outfit and eat the Chinese food if you were working So we needed the Wednesday off to prep the outfit.

Yeah, yeah, you're right, you know, it's, I mean, it's a whole thing. And that's 52 outfits a year. Yeah. Yeah, that's a lot of outfits. There's a lot of shirts that say a lot of confrontation. Do you like do you sell them afterwards? No, I think they're. Do you still do you sell them afterwards? No, I think they're probably still having them. Living in Melissa's mom basement. Interested. Yeah, like we like the thing with me and these surprise. I was gonna say, it was so intense that like my mom started calling us the lens because she was sick of saying Lindsey Irkut and Melissa.

So we were just the lens. So here's what to do. We'll get to the bar and it would be like reserved for lens. I have a lemon tattooed on my foot. Like, you need it. You needed to find an Olga and Natasha so you could be the lemons. Oh, lemons. No, so there were like, there were some like grip on's like every once in a while.

Like, we would find like a Stephanie and she'd be like, oh, now you're actual like lens or there was a wide. Yeah, fuck you, Stephanie. Get the fuck out of here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, oh, now you're actual like lens or there was a wide. Yeah, I'm like, fuck out of here. No, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, face fuck off. I'll be the one. I know. Yeah. I was an asshole. I'm proud to say I have reformed and I have a nice soccer mom now. It's okay to have a little bit asshole past, you know.

People learn lessons. That's what I've learned from watching so much of the real world road rules challenge in the past. I mean, I think we've not gone we have not gone one hour without talking about the real world world rule challenge for the past couple of months It's just so easy to not watch Run it works for MTV. I'm just saying whoa. Oh one of the lambs Let's let me know relative who works works at MTV. Yeah Well, I tried to get a cameo from CT from the real world road, real challenge for Jordan and he declined.

So, for him, CT. Yeah, I said no to send Jordan a message. No, thank you. It was personal though. That's fucked up. He really doesn't like me. Yeah, the bean town prints, not a fan of Jordan apparently.

I think he's a big podcast guy and he just thinks I'm loud and annoying, which good on him. I think it was because I wanted him to call you a loser little titty baby. I think he just thought like maybe this is something I shouldn't say. Yeah, maybe this is so weird sexy. Yeah, or something like that. Or maybe this is offensive and I don't realize it. I don't want to, T.T. is like, I don't want to get canceled. Right. I just want to say I'm going to get canceled for it. Yeah.

He's assaulted, physically, and sexually, multiple people on MTV. And he's worried about a cameo. Yeah. I was in the past. It's true. There's no, what, what recordings of it? It's what was it on TV? It's just on Paramount Plus.

No big deal. Yeah. All right. Well, what was it on TV? It's just on paramount plus. No big deal. Yeah. All right. Well, yeah. It is everywhere. So you were you were an IPA person from way back. So this leads me to the question. Did you steer towards the IPA for this Raptor Princess beer? Or was that already just sort of like, you know, there's already on the table? It was already just a thing. And I was just like, whoa. I mean, I thought it was just like, no, no, no. I would have been like, take my name off that shit. No, no. If you put my name on a stout, I am going to come in.

I am going to find you and you are going to be in trouble. Like I came for a job. You are going to be in trouble. I'm going to norm you and you are going to be in trouble. Like I came for John. You are going to be in trouble. I'm going to norm paddhist your life. When I'm done with you, you're going to be wishing you were no one paddhist. That's insults here. If there's if there's anything that ever ex outlasts us,

making fun of norm paddhist should be it. Yeah, that's whatada should be it. That's what it should be. Yeah. I mean, he just makes it too fucking easy. He really does. Yeah. Yeah. He could have just not existed in all of our lives.

We would never have known. We would never have known that this weird clown exists. And it's so funny that he's the only person in Alex's orbit who has actually said our name and talked about us. Yeah He's funny like he talked about us on his podcast Yeah, it's called like Justice and justification or something like that. It's law Defense Hilder hire me

Yeah, I'm not good at this. Law and legitimacy law and legitimacy is the name of his podcast. And I only know that because he talked about us. And I wouldn't recommend the don't do it itself. I think he called us. I'm not fucking listening to it, but I got I got a I got people who will like scan for me and give me highlights. Oh yeah, he might have talked about you even. You know, who knows? Yeah, that's possible. Like, because after the case, he might have had some fun words. He winds. Yeah, he's a whiner. He winds quite a bit. Um, he's known for whining. Yeah, he winds in his like in his cross examination's known for whining. He whines in his like in his cross

examination, he was whining. Which is like, he like tried to say the name of the organization I worked for. I was like, did you mean like you can't even get simple facts straight dude? Like, I don't know. To be fair, he had a lot of stuff he had to pretend not to know. You know, that takes up a lot of. But if you're coming for me about my job, get the fucking name right or don't come for me because I'm going to shut you down and make you look more stupid than your ponytail. And that's that is a high bar. So I steering back to like the bankruptcy stuff, like the picture that you get from watching

Alex's show is that everything is going great for him. It's just a matter of getting a few details sorted out and then everything is like his life is going to be back to normal and wonderful. But then if you're watching the show itself, like not just listening to his words, you get the sense that there's trouble. And I wonder what your perspective is as as someone who is watching this maybe a little bit closer, a little bit more like, let me give you, let me give you an idea. Like, like if we were doing cross referencing dates for an alibi, you know, like, when you get news, is he calling for the death of all humanity on that day? You know what I mean? Like that kind of situation.

I put extreme effort into not listening to a fucking word, he says not smart. I don't, I don't go to the website. I don't listen to a show. I don't watch a show and any highlights I get come from the wank's who are like you listen to this shit or from the lawyers who are like you listen to this shit. Same word slightly different. Yeah. Yeah. So like I just get like the highlights. What I know from what is has been reported back to me from what's been on set on the show is like, oh yeah. Like there's this little bankruptcy hiccup and these people think I owe them money, but they're not getting anything because there's nothing to give. But then he's whining to the fucking courts that he needs a raise because he can't live on, I don't know, whatever it is, $750,000 a year.

Some shit like that. And I'm like, he does not talk about that on the show. For sure. The raise is not something that like, because obviously that ruins his, the image that he's trying to cultivate in the audience's mind of him being like a modest work a day kind of guy who's just trying to get back. Just like you and me, just a, you know, just a Joe lunch box. Can you, let me throw this out? Can you negotiate?

All right. So you'll give him a 10% raise, but he has to pay you 10% of that. And like his desk, like, can is there room to be like, Hey, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna make a deal now. I mean, I don't even know, like, I know that there's like, the process, right, that the bankruptcy has to go through. And there's like, mediation, but like,

to what end, like, where is it going? Because he's just like, I have nothing, I have nothing, I have nothing. And they're like, you owe 1.5 billion dollars. And there's not a middle point. So it's like, I feel like everyone is just being forced to waste their time because Alex is an asshole. Totally. Yeah. But isn't that kind of the whole thing? Like, that's the table. That's where we are. Yeah. I mean, it's the entire trial.

It's literally what God has here. Like, so, so, but I mean, if Alex can make these, like, can I have a 10% raise kinds of things? I don't understand why you can't make your own, like, okay, then you give me your house. You give me your house. Yeah, you give me your house. Yeah, you give me your house. That's what we that's my.

Just mind that you think is worth nine million dollars. Oh, yeah, I don't understand how that's not available. If you could ask for a rate, if he can ask for a raise, you get to ask for his fucking feet. I don't understand why. No tomato toast. I would rather tomato toast than Alex Jones toast though. I'm just saying any day. Yeah, for sure. You never know that that to my end up like committing crimes like some kind of horror movie. I mean, I also with nine toes. She's living fine. Here's what I here's what I would demand.

The desk for me and then Norm's ponytail. Because these are things that you can't get anywhere else. These are like, that's true. That's true. One of a kind. Get Norm's ponytail. Give it to locks for hate. I don't want norms.

I don't want Norm's ponytail. I want to watch him cut it off. Yes. Exactly. That's it. Yeah. I need to watch him cut it off. Yes, exactly. That's it. I need to get that desk and I'm in a blood feud with Bill Ogden from the Texas case because he has a claim on that desk. And so I need to find another way to get it.

What he doesn't know is that I am always right behind him on all four. So in any kind of situation, Dan can just push him and he will fall over. You know I did that to somebody once. Did you also tie their fucking shoelaces together? What's wrong with you? No, he had another one of these weird parties that I was at. It was at a house party and the host of the party was this guy who was kind of like a target of a bit of bullying from me and some of my friends, which I regret in hindsight. But you know, it was just kind of he was a little bit of a nerdy kind of he was nice.

And I don't know I regret it. We made up after this and you know, we've made peace and everything. It's fine. But somebody I had somebody that all Mark movie that we just went through. I have to clarify because I come out of this look at I mean, I just own to someone calling someone like what are moments? We're all bad.

But I had someone duck behind him and then I pushed him over. And you know, you see it in movies and in cartoons and stuff. And it happens exactly like it looks the person goes like Wow, it was hilarious and Well, he will now Whenever whenever I tell somebody that it is hilarious I run the risk of them doing it and they shouldn't. They shouldn't do it. It's very dangerous. But he kicked me out of his house,

obviously his right to do, but I still had a lot of beer with me. And so I sort of drank on the porch and then I was just kind of like, he came out and I was like, look man, it's a classic move. I was arguing with him that he couldn't be dead because it's classic.

I actually would, if you pulled that out with me, I would totally be like, at, you're not wrong, it is a classic. It did work. He let me back in the party. And see this. It's classic. Yeah. So when I was in high school, we had this like giant covered porch. So like rain, shine, sleep, snow,

my mom would get home from work and there's 30 kids on my front porch. So she's inside one time, like I want to say making dinner, but like let's be real, my grandma cooked. She didn't. But anyway, she hears my friend Zach swear and she was like, she comes out and she's like,

Zachary, you're grounded and she grounded him from the porch. So for the next several days he had to sit across the street and we would like yell back and forth to him and he just let's not there on the sidewalk like oh poor me I'm grounded like literally like followed my mom's rules and it was fucking hilarious so he got wow it's off the porch. Wow that's that's that's a level of respect that one can garner to like be able to claim that boundary. Can you come on the porch? Right. Yeah. My mom was that ass man. I used to sit out on my porch at my old place and there was people across the street.

There's a lady and her kid that would always be on the porch. And one day she sent her little kid over who was like, I don't know, maybe five or six to ask us for a beer, because she wanted a beer. But didn't want to come over. I was like, I don't know what I feel about this. I'm happy to give her a beer, but I don't want to give it to this kid. But I did, I gave it to the five year old, but I watched him go give it to the mom. But I did, I gave it to the five year old, but I watched him go give it to the mom. Another story where I see a response, because you're a responsible adult, of course. Erica, I don't think we want to occupy your entire day. Is there, is there anything that you would like to get out? I mean, I just feel like this whole community of wanks

have, they've just been like my utter bright spot, man. Like, I had a meltdown the other day. People were like showing up at my house because like somebody fucked up an address for like this construction situation. So I have like somebody come into like install countertop, somebody coming to drop off like a load of like milling for the driveway. And I'm like, they're coming after me. They've found my new address, right? So I like call Ashley here,

message Ashley, like one of the wonderful wanks. And I'm like having this fucking meltdown. And she was like, Erica, there's almost the exact same address right around the corner from you. It's just like you got to like remove one letter and the same as she's like talking me off the ledge. I'm like okay cool cool. So like you know she's like who I go to for meltdowns or if I you know need to like vent about like the wonky li lily shit that I don't understand. Like I know Morgan's gonna be there. If I have medical questions, like go to John, it feel like getting drunk.

I call Dave, you know what I mean? This like, they have just become like my go to humans. And I love that. I'm here for it. It is basically like there's a dirty dozen, you know? Like you've got a person who has a specialty of it. Yeah, yeah. It is really bizarre. These people, uh, we're amazing. Yeah, they're absolutely amazing. And I, I don't know how I would have gotten through this past

like six months without them and their love and the support and their fucking donations and, I don't know, and they're fucking funny, man. And all the animal pictures, like I'm having a bad day and it's just like here, get flooded with animals, here are the puppies and kiddies. That's like, yeah, I'm living for that. It is weird how it's almost like a seal team,

but it's like of actual seal pictures. You know, like they just go into action and like, oh, there's trouble. We need unlikely animal friendship, staff, mobilize. Right, it's so good. It's so good. And I mean, I've gotten like so many like hand knitted things

and T's sent and they've they just been oh my God so loving and so supportive and I don't know. I just I don't know where the fuck I would be like if I didn't find this community and That's so awesome. I mean I feel like obviously You know Jordan and I are in a similar boat of, where would we be without these wonderful people? Yeah, it's bizarre how human people are as a mass of an audience. I don't know how to put it other than that,

but it's just, whoo. Yeah. And it's like, I'll just like pose like one thing. And like, this person's like, oh, this is my specialty. Or if it's not then, it's my mom or my wife, or they'll tag someone else in, it's like, they know everything about this situation. I'm just like, how do you find like this community

of geniuses? What? Well, you just know, like the weird- You gotta be careful though, because some of them might just be feigning that confidence they might try and tell you like a penguin's a fish or something, you know. I'm gonna leave that trust, trust, but verify. That's the name of the game.

I really hope no one ever checks my Google history, man. I think that's a very common thought that people have. Well, thank you so much for joining us again. This has been a delight. And I hope we'll talk again in the future and that in the interim time that everything goes goes well with you. And you have even better news. Yes, maybe I'll be able to drink more than one kind of water next time I talk to you. Fingers crossed. What if it's what if it's permanent? What if you're only an Aldi person for life now?

Could be. Could be. I wouldn't put a happy. Could be worse. Could be worse than having to go to Aldi. We are not sponsored by Aldi. I promise. I promise you.

All right. Thank you so much, Erica. Thank you. Andy and Kansas, you're on the earth. Thanks for holding. So Alex, I'm a first time color. I'm a huge fan. I love your work. I love you.