Life Kit - How to thrive, not just survive in winter
Episode Date: December 9, 2024Winter is back. The days are shorter, the cold air hurts when breathing in and a warm bed seems more appealing than the outdoors. For some, remaining active and social can be challenging once the cloc...ks roll back an hour. But should we let winter keep us from living our lives? In this episode, health psychologist Kari Leibowitz discusses her new book, How To Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days. She gives tips about how to enjoy winter and explains how a slight change in perspective can go a long way in the winter.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
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You're listening to Life Kit from NPR.
Hey everybody, it's Marielle.
You know, I feel like certain months and seasons just have a really good marketing team.
Like, everybody loves fall.
The colored leaves, the pumpkin spice, everything.
The magic of Halloween.
And my god, the way people talk about summer.
As if it's just a string of
perfect days we spend basking in the sunshine, eating popsicles, going to the beach with friends.
The truth is, every season comes with its own indignities. Like the amount of time I've spent
standing on a subway platform in 95 degree heat, sweating bullets and scratching my mosquito bites
while I wait for the train.
But we ignore all that, choosing to think of some seasons as this romantic ideal.
And then we don't extend the same courtesy to winter, especially January and February.
When we imagine winter, we imagine it based on its worst day.
So we imagine the coldest, wettest, windiest, darkest day, even when that day is not
the norm. Carrie Leibowitz grew up on the Jersey Shore. It's a summer destination. And she says,
on the Jersey Shore, everybody knows winter sucks. It is this cultural knowing, and it's such an
ingrained knowing that it doesn't feel like an opinion.
It feels like a fact, right?
Like the fact is winter is depressing.
Winter is bad for your physical and mental health and well-being.
End of story.
And then right after college, before she got her PhD in psychology,
Carrie was looking for some research experience.
She started talking to a professor who studies human happiness in a city called Tromsø in Norway. It's about 200 miles
north of the Arctic Circle. And every year it goes through something called the polar night,
about two months of darkness where the sun doesn't rise above the horizon.
And so with my Jersey Shore perspective about winter, I was like, oh, people there must be really depressed.
So we can study, you know, seasonal affective disorder. We can study winter depression and
do some sort of research on that. That turned out to be totally wrong.
The research does not show high rates of seasonal affective disorder in Tromsø.
So Carrie got a Fulbright scholarship, went to Norway, and studied that.
This is a place with a really extreme winter that's very long and very dark and very cold.
How is it that they're not depressed when I feel like winter in New Jersey is depressing?
Since then, Carrie's research has taken her all over the world to places that have long, cold winters.
Copenhagen, Reykjavik, the Isle of Lewis in Scotland, Yamagata, Japan.
And she wrote a book called How to Winter.
Harness your mindset to thrive on cold, dark, or difficult days.
It's filled with something we love here at Life Kit, practical tips.
In this episode, I talk to Keri about what we can do to prepare for winter,
enjoy it, and really give it a fair shake.
Because yeah, it can be cold and uncomfortable and dark.
And it can be cozy and magical and refreshing.
And what we sort of orient to and highlight and talk about
makes it more real for us.
As always, it's up to you what you focus on.
Before we get back to the show, the end of another year is coming up and our team is looking back at
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Carrie, you've done research in a bunch of places that have long, cold winters,
but where people also seem to have more positive attitudes towards winter than you've seen on the Jersey Shore or in the States.
Why do you think that is?
Well, I think there's a lot of reasons.
I think one is if you live somewhere where theics, I'm thinking Denmark and Finland and Norway and Iceland, all of which are places that I went as part of researching my book, you have no to dark, summer to winter, it's obvious that you need
to adjust your behavior and adapt the way that you're living according to what season it is.
And I actually think that this adaptation is really healthy and really useful.
Yeah. And to take this even a step further,
you talk in the book about how the natural world
behaves during winter,
that basically it's a time for slowing down,
for rest, for recuperation and reflection,
and that, you know, animals will hibernate
or they'll go into, is it torpor?
Torpor, yeah.
A hibernation-like state
associated with decreased
heart rate and metabolism, which allows animals to exist in a near coma for hours, days, or weeks at
a time. But yet we as humans don't think that those patterns apply to us. Yeah, it's so funny
because like I have friends who know what I study and, you know, after the clocks change in, you know, the second or third
week of November, they'll say things to me like, oh, I've just been so tired lately. I don't know
what's wrong with me. And I'm like, there's nothing wrong with you. You're a living being
on a planet with a climate, you know? And if you look at every other living thing on earth,
plant or animal, they are all changing their behavior in winter in some way,
right? They're either migrating or hibernating or they're slowing down, they're shedding their
leaves, they're storing up their energy for spring. And yet I think our sort of modern societies and modern conveniences have convinced us that it's a personal or moral failure
if we want to slow down in the winter, if we feel less able to maintain the same schedule
365 days a year. So takeaway one, acknowledge winter for what it is, at least in the natural world, a time to rest, to restore, and to move slower.
Stop trying to fight it and allow yourself to hibernate.
Some suggestions from the book, if you don't currently observe the Sabbath, setting aside one day to rest, do that in winter, one day a week.
You set the terms.
It could be no email, no phones, no logistics, discussions, whatever you want.
You could also take a family nap where you stay in your PJs, make a pillow fort, watch movies, and embrace the slumber party vibes for a day.
And let yourself take longer with everyday tasks, slower meals, slower walks, longer bath times.
I mean, seriously, where are you going anyway? It's freezing outside. One of the things I like about the book is that it blends your research with really practical suggestions for how people can
reconsider winter. One that you have as a start is when winter begins, get ready, right? Set your
house up, make a list of five things that you're looking forward to
about the season. What would be on your list? So on my list is always to first break out the
candles that I put away in the summer. Lighting candles, it's such a cliche winter advice, right?
Like it's almost, it sounds so fluffy and meaningless, but I really think when you light candles with the intention of embracing and celebrating the darkness, it actually has a profound impact on your experience and changes the meaning of winter darkness.
This is takeaway two, get ready for winter.
The season is transitioning and so should you.
This is the time to bring your winter clothes to the front of your closet.
All those cozy sweaters and fuzzy socks.
Also break out the candles and the string lights.
Stock up on tea and hot chocolate.
Make a soup the first day the temperature drops.
Get out the thick curtains and flannel sheets.
Basically prepare your nest. I also really like to change my diet seasonally as much as I can.
So I switch from, you know, a cold breakfast in the summer to a warm breakfast in the winter. And
I switch from iced coffee to hot coffee or tea that I drink all day long. So all of these things are sort of, they're very practical and
they help me have the physical things that I need to be comfortable in the winter. And it also sort
of gets me into winter mode. They reorient my attention from the negative things about the cold and the dark and the wet to the
things that I enjoy when the temperature drops and it's raining out all the time.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you talk in the book about how research shows that the details we pay
attention to about winter and how we describe the season to other people can change our experience entirely.
Yes. And there's so much research that shows that our mindsets matter, that our mindsets
impact our physical functioning, our emotional well-being, how we move throughout the world,
our physiology. And a lot of the times I think these things get presented as if they're magic, right? Like
I adopt the mindset that winter is wonderful and then magically all of a sudden like I feel better
and I'm happier and I'm healthier and I'm better looking and like, you know, all of these things.
But really when you have the mindset that winter is wonderful, you are more likely to notice and focus on the things
that you enjoy about the season, right? The way that going for an evening walk in the winter
makes you feel really refreshed and you come in and you sort of feel awake but calm and ready for
bed or the way that, you know, the sort of indirect light of winter is really beautiful and is actually extremely well suited for cozy activities like, you know, reading or doing art or baking or writing or whatever creative pursuits you enjoy.
Takeaway three, notice the good things about winter.
Do you want to live in a frozen hellscape or a winter
wonderland? It's kind of up to you. When you have negative thoughts about winter, ask yourself
if you're exaggerating at all and if noticing the positive could help. Take a photo every day of
something that brings you winter-related delight. Notice how nature looks different in the winter
and what you like about it. Maybe you love the smell of the rain or the way the snow crunches when you walk on it. Maybe you love the very particular blue color of
the winter sky at dusk. Maybe when you walk out of a snowstorm into a restaurant, instead of saying
it's so gross out there, you can say it's so cozy in here. Those little things then influence your
mood. They influence your emotions and how you're feeling on a daily basis. They also then influence your mood. They influence your emotions and how you're feeling on a daily basis.
They also then influence your motivation, right? How likely are you to actually go outside and go
for a walk, even if it's cold or drizzly? And then if you're more likely to go outside and be walking,
we know that movement and fresh air and contact with nature are all natural antidepressants and mood
boosters and of course are good for your physical health as well. Yeah and one way to do that right
one way to reinforce this is to consider how we talk about winter. Yeah I think when we say things out loud, it makes them real. It directs our attention. It directs other people's
attention. And it reinforces these narratives that we have about everything. Yeah, let's talk
about getting outside in the winter. Let's. What do you need to make it enjoyable? And what can you do when you're outside to really lean into it?
So in Scandinavia, in Norway, they have this saying, there's no such thing as bad weather,
only bad clothing. And I really learned how to dress for the winter when I was living in Norway.
And now even when I'm home in New Jersey, I'm going to be wearing my leggings underneath my jeans.
I'm going to be wearing layers on my top.
I'm going to be wearing waterproof outer shell, waterproof boots.
You know, you want to be warm enough.
And I think that this is another place where living somewhere that is relatively mild in
the winter does us a disservice because you think that you
don't need it, but actually it still makes a big difference. Takeaway four, bundle up properly and
get outside. In the book, Carrie talks about the Norwegian principle of friluftsliv. It translates
to open air life, but she says really it's about finding freedom in an open air life. We can do
that in winter by continuing to enjoy nature and move around outside even when it's about finding freedom in an open air life. We can do that in winter by continuing to enjoy nature
and move around outside, even when it's cold.
She suggests an awe walk,
where you allow yourself to feel awe or wonder
and look at whatever it is, the trees, shops on your street,
the snowy hill with fresh eyes.
If this is new for you, start small.
Just take a walk around your neighborhood,
bring a thermos of tea or coffee, go for 15 or 20 minutes, see how it feels. If there's a place
that you like to walk in other seasons, so a park or by a river or by the beach, try going in the
winter and experiencing it at that time of year, right? What looks different?
What sounds different? What smells different? Yeah, you even say in the book, like you can
reclaim a summer love. So whether that's walking on the beach or even, you know, I was thinking
about having a winter picnic at the park. This is something that they do in Scandinavia and they
really have the infrastructure for it. So if there's any parks near you that have fire pits or charcoal grills where you can really gather around
and barbecue and eat hot foods and drink beverages, this is a very Scandinavian pastime is to go out,
bundle your winter layers, cook some hot dogs on the grill, drink some hot chocolate,
be out for a few hours, and really enjoy the cold
winter weather. Yeah, you know, I actually like sometimes the harshness, too, of the cold air
on my face, especially if I'm going for a moody walk where I'm listening to kind of sad or angry
or intense music, and then the cold air just heightens it, right? Like I'm really,
I'm in a vibe. It's totally a vibe. And I think it's that it's a freshness, you know? And it also
like it, it makes you feel a little bit tough. And I, I don't know know I feel a little bit more equipped to tackle other things in my life and I
feel like it sort of raises my confidence it helps us see that we don't have to be limited by winter
because we can get out and enjoy ourselves okay so now let's bring it back inside. Okay. Tell me about
the concept of big light off. So big light off is something that my husband and I talk about. I mean,
it's not a totally original idea. But you know, we've given it our own special name of Big Light Off, which is no big overhead lights on in the darkness of winter, especially.
And this is something that you'll see throughout Scandinavia.
They love lamps and candles and soft light. And the thing about using little lights, so lamps or twinkly lights or candles, is that the darkness is sort of friendly and there's not such a big contrast with the outside.
And I think, you know, for me, this concept of big light off is really about working with the darkness, right? What is the vibe that you can create in winter because the sun
sets earlier? How can you have this sort of moody, cozy atmosphere? It can feel very intimate. You
know, it's sort of like romantic. It's romantic. The conversations are different. I think people open up differently.
There's some research showing that darkness enhances creativity because it sort of gets
rid of our usual inhibitions and constraints.
And so that can be really special to winter.
Takeaway five, accept the darkness.
Allow the darkness.
Become one with the darkness.
And think about what the darkness is facilitating for you,
whether that's rest or the time and mental space
to finally write that book or learn woodworking
or reconnect with your partner.
It feels like winter and it getting darker earlier is giving me the opportunity to do simpler things and have them be enough.
Like it doesn't have to be a really elaborate activity.
It doesn't even have to be outside of my house.
It's almost like permission to rest and permission to just do
slow hobbies. Yes. And I think our default when we struggle with winter is focusing on the things
that we can't do or the things that feel harder in winter or in the darkness. But I think the
corollary to that is this idea that there's more space for other things,
right?
Reading that stack of books or watching all the TV shows on your list or knitting or doing
watercolor or baking or cooking elaborate dinners or whatever it is.
And I think what you talk about of permission is really valuable. This permission
to slow down, this permission to do less, this permission to live in a different way that feels
more aligned with the season. That permission is, I think, the difference between I'm staying home
because I'm depressed and I'm staying home because this is my time of year to
slow down. Yeah. You know, it's funny. Yesterday I got my comforter out of the dryer and I just
disappeared into it. I took it out of the laundry basket on the couch and I just like wrapped it all around me like I was a like a little pill bug or something yeah
yeah burrito and it was the best it was just like I was like giggling to myself inside of this
comforter like I was I spent a good five minutes just inside the comforter vibing. Yeah. And I think winter is a chance to reconnect with
those sort of small pleasures, those little cozy delights, right? If you can spend five minutes
giggling because you're wrapped up like a pill bug in the comforter from the dryer,
you're going to have a good life. You know what I mean?
And it's something you can bring with you into the rest of the year because, you know, in the summer,
it's easy to get distracted by everything that's available to you. But sometimes the greatest
pleasure is just like having a really ripe peach, you know? Totally. I also think that there are
practices that help us in all seasons of life and in all
difficult times, right? We're all at some point in our lives going to be sick, going to be grieving,
where we're going to have a forced slowdown. And so if you've practiced that seasonally every year,
maybe you're better able to meet that head on and take that slow
season that you need when it arrives. Yeah. Well, Keri, thank you so much. I got a lot out of the
book. I really am excited to do some of this stuff this winter. Thank you. I mean, it was really fun
getting to talk with you about it. All right, time for a recap.
Takeaway one, acknowledge winter for what it is,
at least in the natural world,
a time to rest and restore and move slower.
Stop trying to fight it and allow yourself to hibernate.
Takeaway two, prepare for winter.
Bring out the flannel sheets and the big comforters and wool sweaters, stock up on tea and candles and
whatever makes you feel cozy. Takeaway three, notice the good things about winter. Take photos
of things that bring you winter-related joy. Notice how nature looks different in the winter
and what you like about it. Be specific. Takeaway four, bundle up and get yourself outside. Go on a
bike ride or an awe walk. Reclaim an activity that you love to
do during the summer, but winterize it. And takeaway five, become one with the darkness
and acknowledge the many opportunities it brings. For more Life Kit, check out our other episodes.
There's one about how to exercise in the cold and another about how to find a hobby. You can find
those at npr.org slash life kit. And if you love life kit and want even more, subscribe to our newsletter at npr.org slash
life kit newsletter. Also, we love hearing from you. So if you have episode ideas or
feedback you want to share, email us at life kit at npr.org. This episode of life kit was produced
by Bria Suggs. Our visuals editor is Beck Harlan and our digital editor is Malika Gareeb.
Megan Cain is our supervising editor
and Beth Donovan is our executive producer.
Our production team also includes Andy Tegel,
Claire Marie Schneider, Margaret Serino,
and Sylvie Douglas.
Engineering support comes from Carly Strange
and David Greenberg.
I'm Mariel Segarra.
Thanks for listening.