Makes Sense - with Dr. JC Doornick - Making Sense of Love? I AM LOVE? - Episode 48

Starting point is 00:00:03 Makes Sense. Great morning world. Great morning humans. This is your boy, Dr. J.C. Dornick, aka. The Dragon. And welcome to another edition of the Make Sense podcast. This is a great episode, all about love. So if you have no interest in love, this would not be a good one for you.

Starting point is 00:00:23 Let's take a quick break to hear from our sponsor. The Make Sense podcast is sponsored by the Make Sense Academy, co-created by both myself, Meika, aka The Chicken, and the Dragon, the Make Sense Academy is a live interactive community where like-minded, solution-focused, curious seekers of expansion, gather daily in a mastermind setting with both Chicken and Dragon, where they have access to premium content, online courses, and powerful collaboration and networking, all for $24 a month.

Starting point is 00:00:56 The Make Sense Academy and its members are solely responsible for funding the Make Sense podcast. So feel free to reach out to us at www. www.RiseUpwithDragon.com and check out the Make Sense Academy. Risk free with a money back guarantee. Now, back to the Make Sense podcast. I always ask myself why I do this. What's my intention?

Starting point is 00:01:20 And also, sometimes I self-reflect and ask myself, what gives me the right to do this? What's the validity behind myself? Now, people that know me know that I've been doing this kind of stuff for a long, long time, and they might know about my achievements and things like that. But if you're not somebody like that, then you might be saying, who is this dude with the make sense glasses with no lenses? I'm no guru.

Starting point is 00:01:41 Like, I'm not a guru or an expert. I find that somebody that is a guru or an expert, a self-proclaimed one, typically isn't. So I'm no guru expert in the field of personal growth, self-development, or success by any means. In fact, still trying to work it out, still trying to figure things out

Starting point is 00:01:58 and progressively, interestingly enough, realizing over time that there really isn't a way to figure it out. I don't think we can figure it out. I don't think we could ever know the absolute truth beyond just our compelling desire to be right. However, I am a person whose life has gone from being amazingly messed up to blessed up. And I've developed, as Liam Neeson would say, I've developed a certain set of skills from that experience and tools that have dramatically helped me change the way that I look at things at life, my perspective, and thus the things that I was always looking at and continue to look at, I noticed began to change to better suit my goals and my dreams.

Starting point is 00:02:39 What this is all about, this podcast, makes sense Mondays, any of the work that I do, including any of the posts that I do, I like to take these things that make us go, hmm, and take my tools and the skills that have helped me so much and just basically pay them forward to any open and curious humans that kind of know that there's more to life than this. If that is you, it could be good for you. So welcome to the Make Sense podcast. Let's get into today's topic. I am love.

Starting point is 00:03:06 It's based on just some interesting experiences that I've progressively gone through to unveil that the basic core essence of what makes a human being, a human being, if you strip everything away, is you'll typically only find love, even somebody that doesn't look to you like somebody that is full of love. Everybody is full of love. In fact, I think everybody is love. love at their core. So the minute that you can shift from the idea that you think that you'd be fine if something were to happen, I would be fine if I were this way. And you shift from that to I am.

Starting point is 00:03:43 You will see yourself set free to simply be. So think about what that would mean to you to be set free to just be. And if you did set yourself to be, what would you be? What would be left over if you let yourself just be free to be you, that's who, so you end up being. But the question is, is, do you really know that version of you? Or are you so tethered to the mask, the illusion that you've created? If you allow yourself to bask in that space, and we can do that, there's many ways of doing that, right? Some people are in the jungle during plant medicine, people are into meditation and in the state of flow running and stuff. But if you were to bask in that state, what would happen is, is that you'd recognize, first of all, that nobody else is like you. You're one of a kind. Sometimes you can get caught up in thinking

Starting point is 00:04:31 that that's not true, but nobody else. You're one of a kind. There's nobody else like you. Let's take this day and focus on recognizing that I am statement that makes you you. That's the unique version of you. Without that, you're acting out as somebody else. But what makes you special is you. So it's one thing to embrace who you are, but it's another level in an empathetic and an understanding way, sometimes forgiving, to allow people to be themselves. And people are different versions of themselves sometimes, including you. Sometimes you're acting the part of a different version of you other than your authentic self. So if you can learn about that as well, this is a really, really cool tool, then you can see that in others and maybe not take it personal,

Starting point is 00:05:16 that somebody's acting outside of themselves. Forgive them for they know not what they do. So I am love, I am energy, I am awareness. Those are statements that I've been having fun saying in the morning. And if you hear somebody say that and you think it's a little bit like hooey and it's a little bit like, I don't know, you just want to lash out at them and tell them they're stupid. That's interesting, right? Why would we ever get angry at somebody for recognizing that their love? That could be a little bit of a struggle that you have with yourself.

Starting point is 00:05:46 So that's why we have to have compassion for people. So fascinated today with the feeling and act of being in love. Think about what that means to be in love. Curious, is it necessary and do humans require another person or thing to be in love? Or is that person that we have found or seek? Is it them that allows us to express that which we already are? So think about that for a sec. Do I need another person to be in love?

Starting point is 00:06:17 Well, if I am love, then I don't need anybody to be what I already am. But what is that feeling like when you find that person? Maybe it's a partner or a friend or you find the right community of people or even a job or something like that. And you say, I'm in love with that. Is it perhaps, and I don't know, right, because I told you, I'm still trying to figure this stuff out, is it perhaps that other entity that gives you the space to actually embrace something that you already are?

Starting point is 00:06:45 I love that. So there's something called Agape love. We got this from Lindsay in our community. In the Bible, agape is a Greek word that describes a selfless, universal, and unconditional love. Think about the words condition. Are we conditioned to think a certain way? Is love conditional or is it unconditional?

Starting point is 00:07:04 If you are love, it's unconditional. But if you need something else to be in love, well, then it's conditional. Universal and unconditional love that is characterized by self-sacrifice and loving others. So what's interesting about agape love is it is conditional on something else. If you don't have the ability to sacrifice and unconditionally love others, can you experience love? And these are the things that we learn as we go. So it appears frequently in the New Testament. I'm not going to lie to you.

Starting point is 00:07:30 I don't know too much about that. But I'm fascinated. The New Testament, but rarely in other ancient Greek literature. The word comes from the verb agapan, which means to greet one with affection. So once again, there's some of that conditional love, like we know. need something else to be able to express love. Can you be in love with no help from the outside in? It starts with loving yourself. Can you love somebody else if you don't love yourself? I think everybody universally understands that answer to that would be no. So I was exposed to a really cool

Starting point is 00:08:03 theory and it's just a theory the other day that said that when two people are in love, that it's just their souls. I love to look at the idea that we're just souls using this body. by the way, if that goes against your culture or your religious preferences or whatever it is that your belief system is, that's cool. I'm just telling you that I have fun with this idea. That when we're in love, we're two souls that are hanging out with one another, experiencing life freely with each other. So we're creating a space. Like when you have chemistry with somebody, when I have gratitude for someone that I love, a friend, my wife, my children, things like that. I've been playing with this idea. I've been playing with this idea that the reason why I'm grateful for them is because they create a space where I can

Starting point is 00:08:49 express who I really am, and that is love. Experiencing life freely with each other. So in reading this book that I'll be mentioning quite often, because it's just such a powerful book, it's called Polishing the Mirror by the Amazing Ram Dass. I've been diving really deep, not only into that book, but also his other work, he speaks a lot about the fact that if we were to strip everything away, just ponder this idea, if we were to strip everything away that we are seeking in life, take anything that you're looking to accomplish, financial, mental, physical, all of your desires, which very often is connected to our suffering. But if we were to strip everything that we're seeking in life,

Starting point is 00:09:27 what would be left over? There's another word that comes to mind right now called Intelliki. And Intelliqi refers to your core essence. So if I squeeze an orange, it's Inteliki. Its core essence is orange juice. What happens if I squeeze you? This idea of people having desires, I always say that we're all seekers of the er. It's a fun way to look at human beings because we're all the same in that sense.

Starting point is 00:09:51 Everybody that's listening to this, anybody that comes across anything in life or everybody, the billions of people are seekers of the er, which means everybody wants to be happier, healthier, or wealthier. We're seekers of the er, no? I mean, I've never met anybody that wakes up in the morning and says, I'm going to be unhappy. You might do that with your actions. I'm going to be unhappy, unhealthy, and make less money. So we all want the same things.

Starting point is 00:10:14 So strip all that desire, all that desire for er away. What are you left with? You're left with that which you are. And that's that I am statement. Play with that. What comes after that if you write that down? I am dot, dot, dot. What can you recognize about yourself after taking everything away in your life that is not

Starting point is 00:10:34 you? What aspect of you and this illusion and this character that you're playing? playing that you portray to the world. If you stripped away all the aspects of it that aren't you, but you're just playing that role because of the world we live in, what are you left over with, right? And that's your I am. So when it comes to that love that you seek or crave, because you're either in love or seeking it or craving it right now. And sometimes we're in love and not understanding it. And sometimes we get in trouble because we're seeking love while we're in love, right? It's never enough. Sometimes it's never enough to have love. So gratitude is an important

Starting point is 00:11:13 way to get back and recognize what you have. When it comes to the love that you seek or crave, isn't it something that is already inside you that you're just trying to let out? Think about that for a second. The idea of not it being conditional on finding that person that you're thinking will make you in love or whatever you're craving. Maybe it's already inside and you're just looking for someone to share it with, to exchange it with, like the soul concept. So I just find it's super, super fascinating because there's often this illusion that it's been created by a world that offers, for the most part, what we say conditional love. Think about how you learned about love. It's conditional, for the most part. Sometimes we dabble in this idea that we have unconditional

Starting point is 00:11:56 love for our kids, but that's conditional as well. It's conditional on the fact that they're your kids. Love is conditional. There's very, very much so. But is it? Or is that just what we were taught? It's an interesting thing to ask yourself when you're thinking a certain way and you think that you know the answer to something. And just to say, is it? Do you have that power to question yourself and your thoughts? Because if you do, you're going to move to a whole new level in your life. That's what it means to get out of your way is to question what you think the way is. So from what we've learned growing up in our formative years, where we just believe everything that comes our way.

Starting point is 00:12:33 Love has rules and circumstances, doesn't it? So we have our brushes through parents and the right spouse that offer us this space to say, I have unconditional love, meaning they could do no wrong. Once again, that very nature of labeling who gets unconditional love is conditional. But even that has conditions, no. But like the hard problem of consciousness,

Starting point is 00:12:54 which is interesting about consciousness is we don't know where it lives. you might jump in and try to be right on that. But we don't know where consciousness lives and we don't know how it works and we really don't know what it is. So just like consciousness, where does love come from? Like is there a place in your body? Now, naturally, where do we consider love comes from? And I don't know where that came from, but we always say your heart, right? It's always interesting when we say, check with your heart.

Starting point is 00:13:19 Who taught us that? Who taught us that love comes from the heart, you know? And if you're not a loving person or you don't have love in you or you perceive somebody as like, and doesn't have love in them. Does that mean that they don't have a heart or they have a cold heart? So where does love come from? Does it require two entities and does it come from an outside force? So like a magnet, does it require a positive and a negative force? So your love for your spouse, your children, your pet, your job, your best friend, or even perhaps your life at this time? Think about those things. Are these things required for you to be in love? Well, wouldn't that make

Starting point is 00:13:55 sense why we're so interested and motivated to acquire things and people? Because I think that we all want to be in love. But what if you recognize that you already are love? So those things are not required, right? They're already inside you. And that's your I am statement. Remember, write that down. I am. What's a great way to start your day and fake it till you make it? I am. So can you see that we're all hungry to be in a state of love? Most commonly, interpersonal romantic love is the one that we're seeking. But if you get advanced, you might find yourself seeking to be in love with life in general. Because interpersonal love is a dangerous type of love. Why? Because it has a shelf life, which concerns us. So think about how that plays out in your own relationships. It's inevitable

Starting point is 00:14:41 that one day that love is going to end, whether it be from separation or whatever. I mean, my wife and I are running these relationship retreats. And we're working with couples that love each other and just want to level up the strength of their love. One of the principles that we teach is that they can be in love without each other. Now, that's a scary thought, but what it helps them do is recognize in a state of gratitude that the relationship that they have is such a wonderful thing because it allows them to be what it is that they already are. I love that. So it's going to be inevitable that interpersonal relationships will end one day. So what I love about meditation and I'm getting certified and to teach on transcendental meditation.

Starting point is 00:15:28 But what I love about meditation most is that it allows me to strip away the dependency from all external things and unveil that I am, in fact, already who I am, and that is this concept of love. If you really get advanced with your transcendental meditation or any type of meditation, you'll find yourself often almost in a funny way in this place that I call nothingness. I see a lot of folks from Make Sense Academy and, you know, one of the things that we love to do is before we get into our topics of discussion and mastermind things, we do a little meditation and allow ourselves to get to this blank space where everything is stripped away. And very often what we notice in that blank space when there's nothing else there, you're not even there. It's comical almost to get to the advanced stages of meditation.

Starting point is 00:16:16 What's left over? And that's when it makes sense to you. And that is love. And that's your core essence, your intellect. if I squeeze you and you're at that advanced level, what comes out? Love. So this state often makes me, when I get to that nothingness, makes me want to share this love with external forces.

Starting point is 00:16:34 So that's a different type of love is when you recognize that you are love and you want to share it with others. So I contend that somebody that is right now seeking a relationship or seeking love or craving love and they say, I want to be in love. If you think about it, they already are love and they just want to share. share it with somebody else. Isn't that special one? Two people can share love with one another. I'm just thinking about a different version of myself that would hear that and say, oh my God, this is so stupid. Who is this guy? How stupid is this? But I know why. I know why I would have said that.

Starting point is 00:17:09 And that is because I wanted it so bad and maybe just lost the faith that it was possible. So if that's you right now, big hugs, man, big hugs. And that probably pisses you off even more. I don't want to hug you. So can you see that in thinking love or love, requires an outside force or another person, we're often prompted to take possession of that thing. So if you find an outside force that allows you to be in love, because you didn't recognize you already are, that's why we take possession of them and claim them as our own, which is really dangerous. Because then there's a contingency. Your love is contingent on that person. So if that person does something wrong or it doesn't pan out or they do something that hurts you, then you go

Starting point is 00:17:51 into this victim state where you claim that you're not in love, which you love so much, because of somebody. So what if you, it's very radical, but what if you recognize that you didn't need anybody to be in love because you already are? Forming friendships, by the way, is another version of this. Forming friendships, you know, marriage and parenting even. We take possession of the love for our kids. And if our kids all of a sudden do something that indicates that they're not grateful, why do we get so angry at them? Right. They're taking away our ability to own that love, all the while unconscious when we're doing those things, those possessive things to the fact that there resides in unlimited supply of love in awakening, that it is the primal

Starting point is 00:18:33 source and main ingredient in what it is that makes you, your I am statement. So get a grasp on that concept and an awakening, and it's going to help you gain clarity in many aspects of your lives, you know, in connection with your desires, which is where we struggle most. If you look at your struggle right now and your frustration. It's always going to be connected towards your desires and the urge to try to control uncontrollable things. It's interesting. I'm looking at this piece of paper that I have notes written down here and I just see a little heart and it says, I love you, Paul. That was my daughter and she drew a little stick figure. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I want to take possession of that. I don't want to lose that. I love that. So if you can start to affirm and embrace and I say start because it's going to

Starting point is 00:19:20 take practice. I came up with this word called praction. It's where practice and action meet. And it indicates that when you first start doing something, it doesn't work typically. And it needs some time. And all of a sudden, you believe that it's working because you stop like saying, I want this and you realize I am this. But if you start to affirm and embrace and start each day in recognition of this by just stating, try it, nobody's going to know. And just say, I am love. What's going to do is it's going to help you put many things into perspective and allow you to slow down your love hunger drive. That's the conditional version of you thinking you need an outside force. And if you can learn how to slow that down and allow yourself to be grateful in the present

Starting point is 00:20:01 moment, you'll be able to recognize that you already have it and you're just looking to share it. I think that your energy will change if you flip a switch from needing something to be in love to wanting to share love. I have love inside and I want to share it with others. I don't know how you're receiving this right now, but it probably is in connection with your belief system and where you think you are. But I think you understand the core principle of it. Makes sense. So when it comes to the things that you possess, those things that you possess, that allow you to express more of what you already are, you know, your spouses and things like that, perhaps you can do so with a simple state of gratitude for them, as I said before, that they came into your life to remind you already of what you truly are.

Starting point is 00:20:45 How cool is that? Look at the person next to you. you that you're in love with and consider what that means in this context. You're already in love as they are, right, because that's what they are. Yet for whatever reason, and this is what's so cool about finding somebody that you're in love with, right? You're sharing this positive and negative magnetic thing. You're already in love, both of you, but for whatever reasons unique to your energy and life experiences, the two of you offer one another that safe haven, that psychological safe haven, an effective space to fuel and express love. Isn't that what's going on there? And also, if something happens to that, you're still love. So you don't have to get as upset. Easier said than

Starting point is 00:21:28 done. So this form of gratitude for that person or that thing comes from appreciating them for allowing you to express your true self, your I am. Sometimes we are fortunate enough to find our way into a group of people. This is an interesting thing. I'll talk further, but sometimes we find our way to fall in love with a group of people. Oh, I love my friends. I love the people that I, we very often ask people on their intakes, what are your surroundings like? And sometimes we find people that just love their surroundings. One of the things I love about our Make Sense Academy community is I love the people. I love the feeling I have, you know, we'll do that tomorrow morning and you're all welcome to come check that out. Just say, make sense or say community, send me information and you can

Starting point is 00:22:10 come check it out, risk free. There's a lot of Buddhist stuff involved in that, but sometimes we find an amazing group of people that allow us to feel love, you know, and share love. You know, for those, you know, frustrated that they're not in love right now, because I know there's some of you right now say, oh, it sounds great, but I'm not feeling it. Seeking that conditional love, that's probably the breakthrough for you is just recognizing that you're seeking conditional love, finding the right person. Now you understand that you are needlessly suffering. If you're suffering because you're seeking love and you can't find it, you're needlessly

Starting point is 00:22:43 suffering due to the idea that you think, and it's not your fault, you've been taught this, that love is conditional on you, contingent on you finding somebody else. I promise you're in love. You're already in love. You just have to release yourself, let go of the kite string, untether yourself from that conditional love that you were taught. There's the victim status also. Well, I was never loved. Well, that's because you are love. You are love. And nobody gave you the right to be you. I think that's what's going on. Love is unconditionally. because you are love. So when you find somebody that you share that space with, yes, it's going to be really, really nice. And I wish that for you because it's fun. It's nice. And you'll be

Starting point is 00:23:23 grateful for it and you'll be grateful for them. Just like you're grateful when the sun rises and creates what you call a nice day. You think the nice day was created by the sun. So if the sun doesn't rise the same the next day, you think that there's not a nice day. But a nice day can exist like love anytime that you choose to awaken to it. Why it's so important to change the way you look at things, so the things you look at change. Make sense? So love and appreciate you all. Have an amazing day.

Starting point is 00:23:52 I hope to hear from you soon. And until the next time. Makes sense.

Makes Sense - with Dr. JC Doornick - Making Sense of Love? I AM LOVE? - Episode 48

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