Makes Sense - with Dr. JC Doornick - Radical Responsibility: When Life Chooses You - E213

Starting point is 00:00:00 I just want to start off by just coming from a place of gratitude. And this is just a message to my Make Sense family. This project that we have on YouTube, it started this year with only 2,000 subscribers or under 2,000. And looking back, you know, I can't really wrap my head around all that's changed. We're at 20,000. We're over 20,000 subscribers right now. And it's interesting, if you're the kind of person that's trying to grow a YouTube

Starting point is 00:00:27 channel, there's a right and a wrong way to do it. and there's the right people to work with and the wrong people to work with. I was trying to do it by myself. So I do want to give credit to all of you and my team, but say that the growth that we're experiencing with the podcast and specifically the YouTube channel, it's not mine. It's ours. Everyone that shows up and watches the videos. And I can't tell you how much fun it is to see people comment on some of these interviews that we have and the videos that we have love talking to you guys on there. All of you that listened and shared this stuff, with somebody that you love, you know, I don't take any of that stuff lightly. And I never will,

Starting point is 00:01:03 but I just want you guys all to know that I wake up every day. It's a big reason that I do these things. I wake up every day grateful for everything, you know, for this community, for this work that I do and for you. Have you noticed that the world that we live in has been doing most of the thinking for you that your beliefs, perceptions, reactions, fears and doubts have been shaped by unsolicited outside noise? How easy it's been for you to slip into that default sleep walking mode and label it as life and reality. Yeah, that ends here. Welcome to the Make Sense with Dr. J.C. podcast. This is your opportunity to start thinking for yourself, reclaim control, and step back into that role as the shock caller and dominant force of your own reality. It's when you change the way that you look at

Starting point is 00:01:55 things, that the things that you look at begin to change. So let's wake up. Let's wake up. Let's rise up and let's make sense of why and how shift happens. Makes sense. All right. So today I want to talk to you about something that I believe could quite possibly be one of the most empowering and misunderstood ideas in personal development. And that is the idea of taking radical responsibility. And I think it's going to clear a lot of things up with what I've been going through and why I've been taking it so well. So I want to say, Great Morning World, Great Morning Humans.

Starting point is 00:02:35 This is Dr. J.C. Dornick, otherwise known as The Dragon. And I want to welcome you to another edition of the Make Sense with Dr. J.C. podcast. And I want to welcome you to the uprising of the sleepwalking masses. So strangely enough, this whole conversation that we're about to have started with a thought that I had about what I call currency. So I'm writing my new book. I've actually written the new book. It's going to launch in the latter part of 2007 because we still have Make Sense and the world still needs to read that book. That's Make Sense, how to rewire your brain or how to rewire your mind and transform your life.

Starting point is 00:03:11 But I'm writing this new book and one of the big concepts on there is how careless we are very often with where we place our care. So I came up with this idea of currency and that is referring to the limit amount of care currency. if you looked at care and our attention and our time and our focus as a currency, it's limited and we have a limited amount, a limited allotment of it every day. So this includes things like our time, energy, focus, and our attention, which everybody's vying for these days.

Starting point is 00:03:40 I think a lot of you probably agree with that. So it occurred to me that we seem to be spending an abnormal amount of our currency on things that might happen in the, the future and not nearly enough of it on what is actually happening. So think that through. Think that through for a second. In our brain, the voice is saying things like, well, what if this happens? What if that happens? What if I lose my job? What if the relationship fails? What if the treatment doesn't work? That one pops up in me. What if my cancer spreads and things get worse? So I started wondering whether living so much of our lives inside and a

Starting point is 00:04:24 uncertain and unpredictable future is actually creating a rift and a challenge with our ability to live responsibly in the present. So there's an idea I want you to just kind of contemplate right now. Are we spending so much time kind of living our lives in this uncertain future? We all know that that's kind of silly, but we kind of get confusing caught up when we're setting goals and we're creating direction and stuff. And you'll see, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. But we spend so much time living in that future and not enough time in our present right now. And this is creating a rift.

Starting point is 00:05:04 And it's making a lot more challenging to take responsibility for ourselves right now. And no one's excluded from this, me as well. So here's the thing. You can't take responsibility for something that hasn't happened yet. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. You can worry about it. Yes, you are correct. You can worry about it. You can fear it. You can even rehearse it in your brain. You can catastrophize things in the future. What I'm saying is that you can't take responsibility for things in the

Starting point is 00:05:35 future because it is not here yet. So that's a big distinction today is we're looking at the idea of taking radical responsibility on things that are, not things that might or things that happened in the past. We can't take responsibility. We can take ownership for something that happened in the past, but where does that responsibility take place now? So meanwhile, while we're living in the future all the time, the present moment is always standing here. It always is. And it's asking you this question, hey, dragon, what about me? And we have this really, really good ability to ignore it, to ignore the now because it's always there. It's always there. And we think that we have unlimited time as well. So it became very, very real for me when the whole cancer thing happened. You know, I remember the moment that I

Starting point is 00:06:31 heard the diagnosis, because a big part of the interface response system is not running from our thoughts and feelings. It's acknowledging them, but not necessarily believing that they are the only option that we have, right? So I remember when I first heard my diagnosis, brain instinctively raced into the future to predict the worst possible scenario. The thoughts in my head was, you know, and it was a defense mechanism, by the way. But I just remember predicting my rapid death, you know, I just remember all of a sudden thinking. And by the way, for those of you that have never experienced something like cancer, you have your own versions of this in your life. It could be associated with bills or something happening with your work or one little thing that triggers you in a relationship.

Starting point is 00:07:19 We have this tendency of our knee-jerk, you know, reflective response is to just think of the worst. You know, I was thinking about my rapid death and all the people that would be crushed by it. That was the automatic thing, you know. And let's not forget about all the suffering that I was going to go through. This is what was running through my brain. And I kind of remember thinking to myself that all of those thoughts and feelings were offerings. They were opportunities. And that was an interesting moment because there lies step one and step two of the interface response

Starting point is 00:07:53 system where I kind of naturally became curious. And of course I said, hmm, which stands for I haven't made up my mind yet, which is associated with curiosity. When I say, hmm, and I hear about all these. predictions of these disastrous future when I got my diagnosis, I also, for some reason, because I do this work all the time, said, well, what else is there? What else might be true? And I remember thinking, if I choose to live my cancer journey primarily in the future, this is an interesting thought. And think about your version of cancer. You know, what will the

Starting point is 00:08:30 next scan show, I could think? What if the treatment doesn't work? What if it spreads? That's a big one. But other things spread other than cancer, don't they? What will happen six months from now? What about if I go into remission and it comes back? That's what it would be like to experience cancer from the future. There is no shortage, my friends, you know, of frightening futures available to all of us if I want to spend my currency there. If I decide to spend my currency, my energy, my focus, my attention in the future only

Starting point is 00:09:05 and forget about that. Hey, what about me? Present moment? There's no shortage of frightening futures available to us. So here's the distinction, or one of them. None of those things are happening right now. It's important to be able to acknowledge that. Now, you might be projecting an optimistic future. That's not happening now either.

Starting point is 00:09:29 So that's how sometimes we can get foolish. Now, I'm not saying, you'll see, I'm not saying to not projecting. a future and set goals. What I'm saying is to acknowledge that a lot of the things that we're thinking are going to happen or projecting or going to happen or predicting are not happening right now. You've got to make that distinction. Here's what's happening right now. I'm here. You're here right now. I'm alive right now. I have people that I love right now. Blessings are happening in my life that I could completely miss. There are

Starting point is 00:10:05 So many things happening in the present moment. It's unbelievable. This conversation that I'm having with you is happening when right now, not in the future. Yes, we're going to record it. But when you watch this recording or listen to the podcast episode, it's happening right now. So many beautiful things in life happening right now that we would completely miss because we're too busy very often emotionally living in a future that hasn't even happened yet. And this is not new information for you.

Starting point is 00:10:38 This is just a reminder. A lot of the stuff that we talk about on this show is us saying, hey, what about this? What about that? So remember, you cannot take radical responsibility for your life if you are constantly abandoning the present moment. Hop around in a jumping castle for a while on that one. Think about that.

Starting point is 00:11:00 You can't take radical responsibility for your life if we're constantly abandoning it because it's happening here, abandoning the present moment and living in the future. And the reason is the present is the only place where we can actually formulate a response. Now remember, in the interface response system, what we're teaching people is how to move from reaction to response. So think about a reaction. The reaction might be taking place right now,

Starting point is 00:11:30 but it's associated with the past or the future. future. We're either worried about the future or we're hung up on the past. But a well-thought-out response, which is the goal of the interface response system to make better decisions, to stop reacting and response is being formulated by asking questions and looking at what's actually happening. Now, not predicting. We're very bad predictors. Some of us are good at predicting financial things. And the reason is because this is the only place that we can actually formulate a response. And this brings us to an important distinction. Responsibility is not about playing the blame game.

Starting point is 00:12:13 Responsibility is not attached to blame. Blame, when we're in a state of blame, think about this. Blame looks backwards and asks, whose fault is this? Whose fault was this? Imagine if I was thinking, well, actually I did. You know, I'm like, how could this cancer happen to me? Whose fault is this? Because I was thinking for 20 years, I've been living very, very healthy, you know,

Starting point is 00:12:41 don't drink, don't smoke, you know, just doing almost everything. I wasn't trying to create cancer. So it wasn't my fault. So whose fault is it? So that's not taking radical responsibility. Responsibility looks at where you are right now. and asks, what am I going to do about it? What am I going to do about it? I remember one time I came off stage and I was talking about this topic and somebody came up to me and said, you know, that was

Starting point is 00:13:09 really, really powerful. That really moved me. I had a big, big aha moment from what you said. And I asked him, I said, well, what are you going to do about it? And that's an uncomfortable question. That could be misconstrued. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it. So as most of you know, once again, case in point, I'm navigating this stage four cancer thing. Just think about how that sounds, you know. The first thing that everybody says to me is, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And they say, how are you doing? And I have a different answer than most of them are used to and they get really shocked by it, you know? So one of the strangest things is that I find myself feeling lucky that I have cancer.

Starting point is 00:13:53 And I have to be careful who I say that to because if somebody's really below the line, and when I say that you're below the line of either conscious or unconscious or below the line of responsibility, if you're not taking responsibility, you're acting as a victim, right, or a villain or a hero. And that's Jim DeFmer's work. I quote him in the book very often. There's a whole chapter on that stuff. But here I am above the line by choice telling people that I feel lucky that it's me.

Starting point is 00:14:26 And I'm telling you this right now. When it comes to this whole cancer thing, I feel lucky that it's me. So I want you to think about your version of cancer and I want you to ask yourself how you feel about it. I feel lucky. And people think cancer, lucky? How could those two words possibly occupy the same sentence? Well, let me explain why, because everybody can do this. Because either way, your reality is your reality.

Starting point is 00:14:53 Wayne Dyer always said, though, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, that's what we're talking about here. And that's what the interface response system is there for. I know myself. Here's my why. I know myself. I know the tools that I have. I know my relationship with adversity.

Starting point is 00:15:09 It's been time tested. And so has yours. You're all here right now. So I know myself. I know the tools that I have. have and I know my relationship with adversity. I've been through so many different things. And here I am right now. I know the support that I have around. And I know my capacity to question my perception and take responsibility for my response. Why? Because I've been practicing this work,

Starting point is 00:15:32 the interface response system. For those of you new to it, if you've just read my book, and that's make sense how to rewire your mind and transform your life, the flagship system in there is called the interface response system. And for those of you beginning the work, remember, it takes traction, which is the act of practicing being in action. You're not good at things first, but I've been doing it for a long, long time. And I know my relationship with adversity, and I know my ability now to respond rather than react and change my perception. So here's another distinction. I didn't cause my cancer. A lot of times we blame and shame ourselves. for what's happening in our lives because we like put the fault on us.

Starting point is 00:16:19 I didn't cause my cancer, you know, remember something. For the most part, I didn't, you know, do too much to create this cancer. You know, I didn't set a goal to achieve it. I didn't order it from the menu. I've lived a very, very healthy life. But here I am with cancer. You know, there are things about cancer. And I want you to remind yourself, this is not about cancer.

Starting point is 00:16:41 We all have a cancer of some sort. But there's things about cancer, you know, biology, genetics, environment, chance that are completely out of our control. If I can get cancer in this body, anybody can, you know? I mean, there's a little bit of it in our family, but like, not like, oh, that's what it is. You know, I remember when the doctors were asking me all the questions, do you drink, do you smoke? You know, and I don't. I don't. You know, I live in an unusually healthy life. And I just, you know, I just, you know, I just, you know, just remember that saying, oh, well, that's good. And they were talking about how well I would be able to manage it, you know. So just remember, I didn't choose cancer, but here's the distinction.

Starting point is 00:17:25 Cancer chose me. And whatever it is that you're going through, chose you. No blame. It chose you. And once cancer decided to choose me, I had to choose how I would meet it. Make sense? Because it was there. I needed to look at it as something happening to me or something happening for me. And if it was happening for me, it became an opportunity. And I remember saying, hmm, and that's what radical responsibility is. Is what am I going to do with it? What am I going to do with it? What am I going to do about it?

Starting point is 00:18:00 So I think we're all experiencing some sort of a responsibility crisis right now. And, you know, you're all forgiven for it's not your fault. You know, you know not what you do. But there's a responsibility crisis. crisis going on in our country. We've become incredibly skilled, like fifth-degree black belt skilled at identifying who or what is responsible for the things that we don't like about our lives. If you don't like something about your life or something becomes hard, it's not your responsibility. It must be somebody else's. And you know that that's not true here in this moment right now.

Starting point is 00:18:36 That's what's great about these conversations. However, that's your knee-jerk reaction. is why we have to move to a response and think about it. So there's a lot of things that are hard and we don't like about our lives. Our parents, our childhood, our genetics. You know, maybe it's our boss, our spouse, the way they're talking to us. The economy, the government, could be a religious thing, a diagnosis, in my case, trauma circumstances. There's a lot of things that we didn't order from the menu. So if we didn't order from the menu, they shouldn't be our responsibility, should they? Well, you got them. So you better do something about it. So some of those things may absolutely have, you know, been contributed to by you, but either way

Starting point is 00:19:20 you look at it, they're yours. That's what responsibility is. It is what it is. So there's a dangerous point where an explanation quietly becomes an excuse. So I want you to look at how you're, you know, kind of like pitching this explanation of what's going on and see how it quietly becomes an excuse where understanding why I am here becomes a permission slip to remain here. If I can help you and myself understand why something is happening, it becomes a permission slip to stay there. Radical responsibility says something else. It says, this may not be my fault, but my life is still my responsibility. Can you dig that? So finding your true north, what's up, my friend? Let's see what he says.

Starting point is 00:20:08 Finding Your True North says the seed planted in the soil of adversity under the watchful eye of the master gardener shall produce much fruit. The fruit you're producing, despite not being ordered from the menu, is valuable and serving humanity. I love that. See, we're going to put that one on the show. That's awesome. Finding your True North. That's awesome. And that makes sense. It makes total sense. Awesome. So this might not be my fault, but my life, your life, it's still our responsibility. Can you dig that? And I think that, you know, that's incredibly liberating. I feel extremely liberated about the way that I'm handling things and taking radical

Starting point is 00:20:56 responsibility. It hasn't become a burden. I feel liberated by it because the moment that I take responsibility, what I do is I reclaim agency. I think in a funny way I like to say I'm a control freak. I like to be in control of my life. I like to have agency. So I like to reclaim that agency by taking responsibility. Remember the famous saying that nobody is coming to save you. Who do you blame for that? Mel Robbins? She says that all the time. How dare she say that? Nobody's coming to save me. Somebody better come save me because I didn't ask for this. No, that's not responsibility.

Starting point is 00:21:35 If my happiness is your responsibility, you have power over my happiness. Think about some disputes and arguments you're having with people that are making you unhappy, or if money is making you unhappy, or circumstances are making you unhappy. If you put your responsibility of your happiness into their hands, they own it. If my confidence depends on your approval, you own my confidence too. and if my peace requires everybody around me to behave the way I think that they should, such a funny topic. I've handed the keys to my nervous system to everyone else.

Starting point is 00:22:15 I need to say that one again. If my piece, if our peace requires everyone around us to behave the way we think they should, we're handing the keys to our nervous system over to everyone else, and there is zero agency in that. Makes sense? And the same applies to my health. I cannot control every cell in my body. I can leverage things, but I cannot control every cell in my body. I cannot guarantee that every treatment that I take, I take a daily treatment and every six weeks I do a treatment. I cannot guarantee that they're going to work. I'm always going to be wondering if they're working. You know, I only get a scan every three

Starting point is 00:22:58 months and I cannot control what tomorrow's scan is going to say. I can leverage. And I think that's a big part of living in the present moment. You know, Steve Jobs used to talk about how we can only connect the dots of our life from the past, not from the future. So what think about what that means is he's saying, you know, you can only connect the dots to how things, how you got here by looking at the past. You can't look at the future and ask yourself how you got here. So if you understand that, that means that right now you're a dot. So the only way you can influence the next dot is by living in this present moment. Imagine if you forget about this dot and you're living in a future dot that doesn't exist, well, then you're affecting in a negative way your dot right now. So I cannot control

Starting point is 00:23:46 every cell in my body. I cannot guarantee every treatment and I cannot control or predict what tomorrow's scan says. What I can do is I can participate in the process of my recovery. today, my dot. I can participate in my dot, and so can you. I can ask questions like, or I can ask better questions. That's one thing that I can do to participate in my dot. I can work with my medical team and seek alternative strategies and think outside the box, which I've done. I can learn everything that I can learn in my dot. I can decide how I eat and how I move and what comes in and, you know, what doesn't come in. I can decide what information. I consume. You're consuming this information right now. And I hope that it's faring well for you.

Starting point is 00:24:35 But when you go out and the rest of this day, be very careful what you consume. Because remember, what it is that you consume ends up being what you assume. I can decide who gets access to my energy and my attention. And I can decide how I speak about what I'm experiencing when people ask me how I'm doing. J.C., how are you doing? How are you doing? How are you doing? and I respond almost always by saying I'm deeply humbled by this experience, and I am. It's brought me to my knees. But I'm also in a massive state of gratitude. And I feel very, very fortunate and lucky that I've been chosen to grow through this.

Starting point is 00:25:17 And I keep telling my mentors and my business associates, when I get through this, if and when I get through this, look out. because I'm never going to let go of just present time living. I'm living fully, fully right now, not thinking about the future. Right now, I'm here with you guys. As a quick side note, once a month, we do our Make Sense Mastermind, and I invite you all to join. If you ever want to join any of these things, just go to Dr.J.cdornic.com or reach out and just say you want to be part of the mastermind.

Starting point is 00:25:51 It's 100% free. We do it once a month, and we really take a deep dive. into, you know, all of this stuff. The other thing that I want to invite all of you to do, if you're looking for coaching, for mentorship within this realm, because there's a lot of work, there's a lot of traction in this. We've constructed something called the Make Sense Academy. And that's a unique opportunity for a very, very little bit of money. I don't know if you guys have ever hired a coach, a life coach, or personal growth coach, but that could be quite expensive. We're talking about a hundred bucks a month, you know, to be in my group and meet with me

Starting point is 00:26:29 almost three times a week. So that's called the Make Sense Academy. If that's interesting and you really feel like the time is ready to make that move and do that work, once again, reach out and just ask, that's on the school platform. And the people that are in there, a lot of them are here with us right now, are just having extraordinary breakthroughs. They're unrecognizable on the inside. as far as I can see. So responsibility, by the way, doesn't mean control. That's not what responsibility means. Now, I told you before by taking responsibility, I reclaim agency, but responsibility doesn't mean control. Responsibility means ownership of your participation and experience. So when I say agency is reclaimed, I'm reclaiming ownership of my participation

Starting point is 00:27:21 and my life experience. I'm no longer handing it over to others with things like blame and being a victim. What are you going to do about it? That's what your choice is. And that includes taking responsibility of my own perception of things. So sometimes I look at things and I perceive them incompletely. Do you ever do that? Right? Something happens. That's what we call the event. Something happens like a happening. then your brain interprets it. This shouldn't be happening to me. Perception. My life is ruined.

Starting point is 00:27:55 Why me? This isn't fair. Even after all these years of work, that's my knee-jerk response. Or I should say reaction. But those statements aren't the event. There are interpretations of the event. So we have to run this stuff on our own perceptions as well.

Starting point is 00:28:13 So this is once again accomplished with the four steps of the interface response system. which are perceive, pause, process, and proceed in this book. So this is the book, Make Sense, How to Rewire Your Mind and Transform Your Life. This book was written. So you figure out all of the things that I went through in my life to come to this conclusion. And then in-depth explains the interface response system. If you want the cheat code for it, I just did an episode on that. I think it's the last, yeah, I think it was the last podcast that loaded.

Starting point is 00:28:46 actually two ago because we just loaded a new one today. If you want to hear a great story, we loaded an episode today of a guy that was worth like $27 billion. And when I asked him how he created that wealth, he created that wealth by helping his employees become millionaires. That's an amazing story. So go check that one out. But before that, if you want, the interface response system. So that's perceive, pause, process, and proceed. So something happens. Your brain catastrophes is that happening and looks to blame. This is our knee-jerk reaction. And instead of automatically accepting the stories in your head, what we're going to do is we're going to pause. So if you want an action step right now, just take a curious pause on everything. And how do we do that? We just go,

Starting point is 00:29:34 hmm, it's not saying that what you were thinking is wrong. You're not abandoning anything. You're just going through life, which by the way is now scientifically tied to living longer. you're going through life being open and curious about everything. Hmm. Interesting. And that stands for haven't made up my mind yet. Guys, you don't have to make up your minds about things so fast, especially when you know that your brain has been programmed. Your operating system's been programmed from the outside.

Starting point is 00:30:04 So we say, hmm, and that means like noted. Thanks, operating system. Well done. Thank you for the pitch on what you think is going on. Take a lunch break while I investigate and check. the facts. And then, after the pause, we process, is there any other way to see this? Is there another way to see this? What part of this is controllable? What a great question? What part isn't? And perhaps most importantly, am I caring about what is happening or on what I might think is going to

Starting point is 00:30:39 happen? This is a great question to ask yourself. Am I caring if you're worried about something? because as soon as you can make this distinction, you're free. Am I caring about what is actually happening? Or am I caring about what I think might happen? And if you're worried about what might happen, you've just abandoned the present moment and you've abandoned your life. So don't be mistaken by my words, everybody. The future does deserve some of our attention.

Starting point is 00:31:08 It's not like I never set goals. It's good to plan and prepare. we should make intelligent decisions to leverage our future. It's a big reason that I'm practicing health. It's very much connected to being there to walk my daughter down the aisle and being there for my kids and being a grandparent and all that stuff that's important to me. But there's an enormous difference between preparing for the future and living in it. Big difference between preparing for something and leveraging it and living in it.

Starting point is 00:31:38 Because as soon as you live in it, you're not living here. So the blessing of cancer has taught me that distinction, you know, in a way that nothing else could have. So that's why I call that cancer a blessing. There's no way that I would be able to live in this present moment the way I am without this abrupt disruption in my life that forced me to let go of the illusion that tomorrow is a guarantee. And as soon as I did that, I started to look around and say, this present moment is fucking awesome. So most people understand the question, why me? But eventually, if you do this work, and that's the value of joining the Make Sense Academy, you know, read the book, come to these lives. But joining the Make Sense Academy is doing the work. If you're the kind of person that likes to just like have a jacuzzi experience and get mentored and coached so that you feel like you're doing the work, then it's not for you. It's about doing the work. And that's where you get the extraordinary stuff. So we start off fully understanding and embracing why me. But eventually, Eventually, the work helps us develop another question, and we start saying, why not me? Why can't I be somebody like that, an eternal optimist?

Starting point is 00:32:47 And eventually something even stranger emerged, right? I'm glad it's me. I remember that I started to feel so lucky about the cancer. And yes, I know what is tied to it. And you know, it's funny is I have a lot of people say, well, you don't have a cancer as bad as mind. There's like a pissing contest with cancer. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. You know what I mean? It's such an interesting thing. And I do feel for people that, you know, don't have much chance. I mean, there's certain people that just die within two months and I've lost people to that. But that's not my

Starting point is 00:33:24 reality, right? And that's not your reality. You have your own and I have my own. So eventually I started to think, I'm glad it's me, even if it came with a shorter life expectancy. Now, I'm not glad that. that I have cancer. You know, I wouldn't order it from the menu, but I'm glad that if this battle had to land somewhere, it landed in the life of someone who intends to use it. Whatever battle you're going through right now, do you intend to use it or are you just looking for ways to lose it? I'm somebody that's willing to learn from it, someone willing to be humbled by it. I understand that there's a lot of pain and discomfort. I'm in that pain and discomfort right now, but I accept it. radically. So I'm humbled by it. And I'm also okay with letting it reveal what really matters most to me.

Starting point is 00:34:15 Perhaps use those lessons to help somebody else one day. So this is why I feel blessed and lucky and I'm glad that it's me. I feel fortunate. Now where does growth take place? Outside the comfort zone. What do the stoics say? The obstacle is the way. So why do we get so freaked out what a big obstacle comes. It's because we start to realize that our relationship with time was wrong. It was incomplete. But guess what? That's a good thing too because you start living that mortality mentality. So that's why I can say that I feel lucky, not because cancer is a gift that everybody should be grateful for. I'm not saying that. But because I get to decide what this experience becomes in my life. And I have decided not to waste it. I've decided not to waste this experience.

Starting point is 00:35:03 that is mine for some reason. That's the difference between happening to me and happening for me. More importantly, I've decided not to miss this. I don't want to miss this opportunity as well, because it's happening right now. I don't want to live in this delusional life where I can pretend that nothing's happening. I'm in it. I live it. So I don't want to spend today worrying about what might happen tomorrow. I can tell you that. That's for damn sure. And I completely don't want to overlook what is happening right now by doing that. You know, the conversations, the love, the people showing up, you know, right before this episode, I went and just, and I wouldn't always do this before an episode. I just went and laid in bed with my wife and, you know,

Starting point is 00:35:49 cuddled her just to listen to her breathe, you know, not like I think I'm going to die today, but that's pretty fucking awesome. That's, that's way, way more cool than my business goals. And things like that. And I know you know this. There's a lot of love going on, the people showing up to support me, the clarity about what matters. You know, I don't want to miss that stuff, the gratitude of waking up every day. I don't want to miss a day of recognizing that. The extraordinary privilege, you know, of just an ordinary day. How amazing is the extraordinary privilege of just an ordinary day. I refuse to sacrifice what is on the altar of what might be. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. So I challenge you all, here's my challenge, I challenge you all to look at your own life today,

Starting point is 00:36:40 your health, your happiness, your finances, your relationships, and your perception. And ask yourself this, where have I surrendered my responsibility? Because that will uncover where you can take radical responsibility. Then ask, how much of my care and attention am I spending on a future that hasn't happened yet and may never happen? I have discovered that taking more responsibility has actually made me feel less burdened. This is the liberating feeling. It's scary to take responsibility, I think, because it's associated with overwhelm and you won't be able to handle it, which is kind of silly because that's wasting time too. You have to eventually take responsibility for what is yours, right? You can't run from it forever, like the law. So I have discovered that taking more responsibility,

Starting point is 00:37:35 taking that leap, has actually made me feel less burdened. So I remember times where I thought responsibility was connected to overwhelm. No, when I take responsibility for things, I feel less overwhelmed, less burdened. Responsibility sounds heavy. But you know what's heavier? Then responsibility? Helplessness. Helplessness. Blame is heavy. Resentment is heavy. Waiting for things in life and coming to the conclusion that you don't have that time that you thought you have is heavy. Worrying about 10 imaginary tomorrows and recognizing that you don't have the guarantee of them, that's heavy. Responsibility simply says, okay, this is where I am. Now what? I don't know how my story is. ends. I don't think any of us do. All I know is that my story is happening right here in this dot,

Starting point is 00:38:30 right here, right now. So this week, find one place where you have been giving away your responsibility and ask, what part of this belongs to me right now? You'll notice that it's not all of it. What part of what's happening belongs to me right now and make the distinction that it's not all of it? It's just your part because that's where your power lives. So stop asking why did this happen to me and stop obsessing over what might happen to you. Instead, start by saying, hmm, such a simple thing to do, to be open and curious in life. This is probably why it lived longer. Start by saying, hmm, and then ask, what is happening right now? What part of it belongs to me and who am I choosing to become as a result of it? Take responsibility for what belongs to you,

Starting point is 00:39:18 release what doesn't and be careful how much of your precious currency open up your care wallet, right? You only get a daily stipend of it. Be very, very careful how much of your precious currency you spend on a tomorrow that hasn't arrived yet. Because while you were worrying about what might happen, something extraordinary is already happening your life. Until the next time, I love and appreciate you all. So if you'll learn something today, give it away. That's how it's going to stay. That's it for today. To support the Make Sense with Dr. J.C. podcast, be sure to subscribe, like, and share, as well as follow the Make Sense substack for free daily quotes, live streams, and blogs. And remember, learning without action is just another form of distraction.

Starting point is 00:40:07 If something hit home and you learn something today, give it away. That's the only way it's going to stay. See you next time. Makes sense. If you like the show, please take a moment to rate, review, and subscribe. It really does help the show to grow. Thank you for listening.

Makes Sense - with Dr. JC Doornick - Radical Responsibility: When Life Chooses You - E213

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