Makes Sense - with Dr. JC Doornick - The Idea That Ends Most Arguments Before They Start (Whole-O-Graphic Vision) - E201

Starting point is 00:00:00 We're experiencing a carefully curated version of reality that's been approved for our existing beliefs. That's typically what we're doing. And that's not holographic vision. That's what we call tunnel vision. Have you noticed that the world that we live in has been doing most of the thinking for you? That your beliefs, perceptions, reactions, fears and doubts have been shaped by unsolicited outside noise? How easy it's been for you to slip into that. default sleepwalking mode and label it as life and reality. Yeah, that ends here. Welcome to the Make

Starting point is 00:00:37 Sense with Dr. J.C. podcast. This is your opportunity to start thinking for yourself, reclaim control, and step back into that role as the shock caller and dominant force of your own reality. It's when you change the way that you look at things, that the things that you look at begin to change. So let's wake up, let's rise up, and let's make sense of why and how shift happens. makes sense. So this is holographic vision. Let's get into it. It starts like this.

Starting point is 00:01:11 Somebody doesn't text you back. And that's it. That's all that actually happened. Somebody didn't text you back. You sent a text, and I don't know, like maybe like six hours later, there's no response.

Starting point is 00:01:22 But isn't it amazing what can happen inside the human mind during those six hours that you were waiting? Maybe they're mad at me, you think. Maybe I said something wrong. they're avoiding me. Maybe they don't respect me. You know, we go through and we build this whole story. And before that person that you sent that text to, even had an opportunity, because remember,

Starting point is 00:01:42 they have a life as well, even had an opportunity to pick up their phone to see that you've written a text to them. You went ahead in those six hours and written, produced, directed, and starred in an entire psychological Netflix thriller series. You've made up a whole story. And here's the crazy part. can become emotionally affected by something that hasn't actually even happened. And what happens is your mood changes, you get anxious, maybe even angry, and you start preparing what you're going to do, even though they're not responding, you're starting to prepare, you're saying, well, what am I going to say if they finally respond after all of this? And this is just an example of a text.

Starting point is 00:02:25 And then what comes? I'm so sorry, my phone died, just saw this. and you say, Hmm, great morning humans, great morning world. Welcome to another edition of the Make Sense with Dr. J.C. Dornick podcast. Welcome to the uprising of the sleepwalking masses. We're going to be talking about a tool that I created in my Make Sense book. That's Make Sense, how to rewire your mind and transform your life.

Starting point is 00:02:50 And I call this tool, this strategy, holographic vision. So that's whole, like the whole, oographic vision. made it up completely. And I made it up because I believe one of the greatest sources of unnecessary suffering, conflict, broken relationships, and bad decisions is not what actually happens to us. And you can see that I'm taking this same approach with my cancer. The unnecessary suffering has very, very little to do with what's actually happening to me or happening to us.

Starting point is 00:03:27 What it is, the speed with which we decide what is that is happening and what the happening means, the meaning that we give it. We see one piece of something. We see just one slice of something and we make that piece the entire whole of the story. We base our story just on one piece of what we see. And today, we're going to disrupt that habit because there's an extraordinary power in the learning of saying this. Hmm. I haven't made up my mind yet.

Starting point is 00:03:59 We're going to learn how to really explore what happens when you don't make up your mind so fast based on that one slice of what you're seeing. So let's talk a little bit about the storymaking machine. So the human brain is an incredible pattern recognition machine. Think about what pattern recognition means. It's like, oh, I recognize that. It's constantly trying to make sense of incomplete information. That's useful.

Starting point is 00:04:25 The brain categorizes, predicts, and creates shortcuts so you don't have to relearn the world every morning. This is what pattern recognition is for in a useful way. We have it and we should be grateful for it because imagine if we had to wake up and figure out the entire world every single morning. But the problem is when we confuse the efficiency of those shortcuts with their accuracy. So think about that. Efficiency versus accuracy. because your brain doesn't just complete patterns with refrigerators and stop signs, meaning like, oh, that's a refrigerator, that's a stop sign.

Starting point is 00:05:02 We don't just do it with that. Those are good things, you know, like if you see a stop sign, you should stop. If you want something cold to drink, it's in the refrigerator. But it does this with people. It does this with everything, in fact. Your employee is quiet in the meeting. Here's an example. You automatically recognize that pattern and say he's disengaged.

Starting point is 00:05:21 Your spouse's tone changes in their voice. Anybody have this to happen at home? She's pissed at me. Or there's something wrong. Your friend doesn't invite you somewhere. All your friends go out and you don't get invited somewhere. I guess I know where I stand. Or someone disagrees with you.

Starting point is 00:05:41 God forbid somebody ever disagrees with us. And you automatically recognize that pattern and say they don't understand. Maybe, but maybe not. we learned to say maybe not those might be three of the most useful words you'll ever learn maybe maybe not do you have the ability to say maybe or maybe not because you probably weren't taught to do this so here's where this fits into the interface response system which is the kind of the flagship program that we have in our in our book so if you've read my book makes sense how to rewire your mind and transform your life or if you've listened to this show you've listened to this show

Starting point is 00:06:20 show. By the way, if you want to learn the interface response system, just go into the podcast, which is free. I mean, read the book. I think you should read the book to get the full essence. It builds up it. But if you watch the first 10 episodes or listen to the first 10 episodes of the makes sense with Dr. J.C. podcast, you'll get the whole interface response system. So if you've read the book, you've listened to the show. You've most likely heard me talk about the interface response system. And those are the four steps to helping you reclaim control of your response system. We always say that if we change the way we look at things, the things that we look at change. That's something that we got from Wayne Dyer.

Starting point is 00:06:56 So there's four steps to that process. The interface response system helps you actually execute on that. And that's perceive, pause, process, and proceed. Holographic vision, which is what we're talking about today, lives in step three, which is my favorite step, and that is process. Will we allow ourselves after we kind of pause and we say, wait, wait, wait, what's going on? which is a very healthy thing to do. And we say, in that space, we have the ability all of a sudden

Starting point is 00:07:25 and a little bit of freedom and the right, because we've given ourselves permission to have that right, to take a look at things, to change the way we look at things. So remember that saying, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, how do we execute on that? We have to pause our program, our automatic response system that's been programmed into us. We have to pause it and step into this space

Starting point is 00:07:49 where we allow ourselves to change the way we look at things. So that's the secret. That's how we do it. Holographic vision lives in step three process after the pause in that space. You can't effectively process things if you haven't learned to perceive and pause. So the interface response system is not something where you can forget about those two things. In fact, the most important step before pausing is just to recognize how crazy it is that our brains do what they do. I mean, if you've been programmed and practiced with consistency and you're

Starting point is 00:08:24 consuming the same things every day, which makes you assume the same things every day, you're always going to see things the way that you typically see things. So if you don't understand that your brain is like this automatic meaning-making machine, you'll never validate the idea of challenging yourself, challenging your thoughts, your automatic response to things, your knee-jerk reflex. So perceive is the most important things. Just to walk away from this conversation today, more awakened, more aware of things, how your brain works, how life works,

Starting point is 00:08:57 how we really only see a slice of things. That's what validates the ability to say, well, hold on a second. Hmm, haven't made up my mind yet. That little hmm. And that doesn't mean, when you pause on things, it doesn't mean that you don't care and it doesn't mean that you don't have an opinion.

Starting point is 00:09:16 It doesn't mean that you're leaving your initial opinion. It just means I haven't made up my mind yet. That's what a pause is. A pause is not indefinite. So if you know that it's kind of silly to just believe everything that you think, knowing that you got it from someone and somewhere else, it doesn't mean that it's no longer relevant. You can always come back to it, but you're going to pause

Starting point is 00:09:39 and step into this place where holographic vision can actually take place. because I can teach you holographic vision right now, and it's not H-O-L-E, right? It's W-H-O-L-E, like the whole. It comes from holograms. You know, when you look at a hologram and you walk by it, you see all sorts of different things come alive. But in the holographic universe, you realize the universe is kind of made that way. But if you take a teeny little piece of a hologram, like let's say a hologram that you see in the airport or something like that, shatters. If you just take one little shard and piece of that hologram, what's interesting is it contains

Starting point is 00:10:18 the entire image in it. I like that word and I made up holographic vision because what you see is what you get, but it's not necessarily what is because there's alternative vantage points. What's important is that we understand the way that the brain works, validating the pausing of it and stepping into this space where you can actually say, I'm going to take a look around. I'm going to take a look around at things before I make my mind up. Now, I want to go back to one of my favorite characters that I built in Make Sense. This comes from the Make Sense Bolt. This is part of this same process, and that's the bouncer, the character of the bouncer.

Starting point is 00:10:56 So just kind of to remind this and bring this back to surface, I've done episodes on this before. Picture your mind. Your mind is the nightclub, you know, this dance club or this bar. and standing outside, you know, with a velvet rope and, you know, a big line is this giant dude. That's you. With a clipboard, that dude's job is to decide who gets in and who doesn't. What gets in and what doesn't.

Starting point is 00:11:22 To the nightclub. Now, we all have a bouncer, right? It's just that a lot of our bouncers have been kind of like really lazy and not doing their job. So that clipboard in their hands is actually a guest list. So come with me on this analogy. because if you can have a talk with your bouncer and get your bouncer to do its frigging job, what you're going to do is you're going to clean up the nightclub. You're going to stop letting unwanted trouble making guests and things into your nightclub.

Starting point is 00:11:50 So in their hands is a guest list. And only the people and things on the guest list get in. So somebody walks up to the front door and they try to cut the line and they say, hey, my name's J.C. Dornick. Bouncer says, not on the list. Get to the end of the line. Maybe never get in. So what I want you to think about with that analogy of the guest list is who and what are on your guest list right now.

Starting point is 00:12:14 Are you even aware that you have a guest list? Or does everybody get into your nightclub? And what I mean by that is if somebody comes up to you and unsolicitedly gives you criticism or says something nasty to you and it affects your nightclub, what that means is your bouncers just letting everybody in. But if you had a guest list and said, oh, I'm sorry, you're not on the list. your nightclub would stay clean and healthy. Isn't that an interesting kind of way of looking at things? So who and what are on your guest list?

Starting point is 00:12:43 And what I want you to look at is your current guest list are the things that you already believe to be true. To a big extent. The things that you already believe to be true, the things that you consider to sit inside the realm of the known are on your guest list. Now, when new information walks up, what happens is your bouncer might say,

Starting point is 00:13:05 is this agree with J.C. And if your bouncer is lazy, the answer to almost every one of those things is, yep, come on in. We'll process it in the club rather than outside at the front door. Are you processing things that are happening in your life outside, or are you processing them once they get into the club? Because then you have to kick them out of the club, and sometimes they stay in the club for a long time. So is your bouncer just saying, yeah, come on in. Is that what it says on a shirt rather than like staff, it says, come on in. Sometimes it lets things in all the time, so it feels like it's in control and it can handle things.

Starting point is 00:13:42 But then something else approaches. So think about your bouncer. Think about being at that front door. Something else approaches, and it challenges your belief system. All of a sudden, your bouncer is going to rear up, get on its toes. And what it suggests is that the person that you dislike

Starting point is 00:14:03 might have a point. If somebody challenges your belief system, you typically don't like that person in that moment. And in that moment, it means that the person that you dislike might have a point. And it suggests that the person that you admire might be wrong. We don't like to be wrong about things. Remember, we're talking about what's holding us back from holographic vision. The reason why we don't look around at things, because our ego is involved. So if somebody comes up and, makes a point and it challenges your belief system, that's something that you're, whether it's right or wrong, you're probably going to withhold them from coming into your nightclub. Now, remember what we said before. We have the ability to believe something to be true that is not

Starting point is 00:14:49 true. We also have the ability to believe something has happened that hasn't happened yet. Once again, if you go back to step one of the interface response system, perceive our brains are doing that all the time. My brain has the ability to believe in something that is not true. My brain has the ability to believe something has happened that hasn't happened yet. So that validates me pausing. That's part of perceived. Or God forbid somebody says something that suggests that you might be wrong. That's when the bouncer checks the guest list, the clipboard, and says, sorry, you're not on the list. So an unhealthy Bouncer is not somebody that's just letting everybody in. An unhealthy bouncer is actually blocking people and things that should be in the

Starting point is 00:15:41 club out. And the things that the unhealthy bouncer is doing is blocking things out that challenge your belief system, even if it's a good idea and if it's true. The reason why I want to share that with you is this idea that I'm going to share called holographic vision. it's genius and it's and it's so effective if you do it. And the reason why most people don't do it is because of their belief system and the fact that they're locked into that.

Starting point is 00:16:09 Eventually, we aren't experiencing reality as it is. This is the problem is most people are walking around and not experiencing reality the way it is. They're experiencing it as they believe it. Now let's sit there for a second and try to just think. for yourself up in the prefrontal cortex. That's the value of this podcast. Get in the part of your brain right now where you get curious and think about the difference between experiencing reality as it is and experiencing it the way that you see it and the way that you believe it to be.

Starting point is 00:16:47 Now, you might jump right now and say, well, you know, seeing is believing, right? What we see is what we get. I understand that. That's experiencing reality through your belief system. But could something else be true about reality? Of course. Of course. So I'm going to invite you today to just allow yourself, give yourself permission to acknowledge that reality might not be the way that you see and believe it. We're experiencing a carefully curated version of reality that's been approved for our existing beliefs. That's typically what we're doing. And that's not holographic vision. That's what we call tunnel vision. Holographic vision is the opposite of tunnel vision. Nobody's going to go around and say and proudly acknowledge that they have tunnel vision.

Starting point is 00:17:45 But today we're allowing ourselves to look at things differently and entertain things. and tunnel vision would be when you have locked into believing something based on your beliefs and you no longer allow anything else to come in. I like to look at that as having the right protect switch on, you know, like on an SD card, which means you can put an SD card in something and if the right protect switch is on, it means no new information can come on it. It's locked. If you want to record to it and put new information, information like we're doing in our system right now, you have to have the right

Starting point is 00:18:24 protect switch off, meaning it's open for new. Most people have their right protect switch on. And we understand why, because of the refrigerator and the stop sign, right, there's a lot of value in, you know, certainty and all of that stuff. But it also gets us in trouble, doesn't it? So what is holographic vision? Now that we're in this space where we realize that the only way that we can even entertain looking at things, differently or looking at things from different perspectives is we have to allow ourselves to. And the reason why we wouldn't allow ourselves to is because we're locked into believing that what we see is what we get. So this is a very, very big challenge to allow yourself to entertain

Starting point is 00:19:07 disputing or even contemplating alternative perspectives in life. I invite you to have some fun and look at this. So holographic vision is the intentional practice of recognizing that your current perspective is only one angle of a much larger reality. That's the way it begins. It's the intentional practice of recognizing that your current perspective, what you think, what you see, is only one slice, one angle, one perspective of a much larger reality that could be. And once you're there, then you realize that your current guest list that you're holding is not final. there's room for negotiation on your guest list. And there's also no need to rush.

Starting point is 00:19:56 It would kind of be like somebody walking up to the front of the bar. And you look at your guest list and they're not on the guest list. And you say, well, you're not on the guest list, but who are you? Tell me a little bit about it. Maybe you're a good fit for the club. Maybe you're a good fit for the nightclub. Maybe not. I haven't made up my mind yet.

Starting point is 00:20:18 So you get the point? So imagine an object sitting in the middle of a room, any object. You're standing on one side of that object and you see that object as a circle. That's you. So you're looking at an object in the middle of a room and you're standing on one side of it looking at it and you say that's a circle because that's what you see. It's a circle. But I'm standing on the opposite side of that object on the other side of the room.

Starting point is 00:20:45 So I have a totally different vantage point of that object. And I see a rectangle. And I say, that's a rectangle. So you say, JC, it's obviously a circle. But from where I stand, I say, what are you talking about? It's clearly a rectangle. Now, this is the way we go through life. We see circles and rectangles, right?

Starting point is 00:21:08 And we're sure of it. Now, imagine our identities become attached to those perspectives. You think it's a circle? I think it's a rectangle. and our identities are latched onto it. What we'll end up doing, and this is what the brain does, is we'll start gathering evidence to prove that it's a circle or a rectangle. I'll gather evidence to prove that it's a rectangle,

Starting point is 00:21:29 and I'll share that with you, and you'll gather evidence that it's a circle and not a rectangle, and you'll share it with me. So that's where confirmation bias and all of that stuff comes in. You'll actually go as far as joining a Facebook group or something like that called people who aren't idiots and can clearly see that this is a circle. And then you'll support that idea that it's a circle.

Starting point is 00:21:53 And I'll start a podcast called rectangles are real. And then it'll get to the point where you'll unfollow me, I'll block you, and welcome to humanity. It's so silly. And the only reason that all that stuff happens is because people don't want to allow themselves the space to recognize that they don't know everything. In my book, I think it's chapter seven, one of the biggest breakthroughs I ever made was when a mentor of mine asked me, what's more important to you to be right or kind?

Starting point is 00:22:25 That's a great, great chapter. And I thought I was being kind, but I realized I always wanted to be right. If I was kind to people, I would listen to what they had to say rather than just wait for them to shut up so I could tell them they're wrong and I'm right. So that's kind of where we're at. And listening is a way of caring and also a way of allowing yourself to say, well, let's listen to what they have to say. But what happens if one of us singly all of a sudden in this interaction, circles and rectangles, what happens if one of us simply gets curious and something would have to prompt that, gets curious and walks around the object, not only to the other side, but to all the sides, and started to practice holographic vision?

Starting point is 00:23:11 What have you got open and curious and just said, well, let me take a look around. Let me look at it from different vantage points. Here's what you would say. Oh, in fact, it's not a circle or a rectangle. It's a cylinder. You weren't wrong. I wasn't wrong. We were just both incomplete.

Starting point is 00:23:32 See, it's not about being right versus wrong. Sometimes what we're looking at is just incomplete. Does that make sense? Is it possible that you have something that you're looking at today, an interaction with family, maybe you're going through some tough times, or maybe you have the delusion to think that everything's all right and you're not taking responsibility and looking at things, all things.

Starting point is 00:23:56 Is it possible that the way you're looking at things might be incomplete, meaning maybe there's more to it? That's holographic vision. It's the willingness to move around and investigate. Imagine if an investigator was trying to crack a case, and this is the whole concept of the crazy wall, right? You're putting all the pieces of the story up there and looking at everything to help you make that decision. Imagine if they just looked at someone, I think that's the criminal, and they just, they didn't look at the whole case. Well, everybody would be wrongfully prisoned, right? And that happens.

Starting point is 00:24:34 It's the willingness to move around and investigate, not necessarily, by the way, to abandon your perspective, but to recognize. that who you are, where you're from, and who you were raised by, and also where you're standing at that given time, has determined what you're capable of seeing. That's why you can recognize that it's incomplete. If I'm looking at something from who I am today, I'm going to see it the way that I was trained to see it. If I allow myself to go look around from other perspectives, I'm going to see something completely different. So here's a question that I want you to steal for the day. And this could save lives and also save you a lot of time and help you follow through. The next time somebody does something that you don't understand or don't like,

Starting point is 00:25:23 instead of asking, why would they do that? We throw our hands up, we go, why would somebody do that? We're looking for approval. So instead of that, ask this, what would have to be true for this to make sense from where they are standing? Now, what are you doing? That's a stepping into their shoes and grabbing their perspective. Now, that's not to say that they're right and you're wrong, but imagine if you did that. You know how when somebody approaches you and gives you some shit, what we're supposed to do is say,

Starting point is 00:25:57 that's not my problem, that's theirs. So how do you come to that conclusion? Well, you'd have to realize that that person might be just having a bad day. Who knows what's going on in their life? Who knows what would have to be true for somebody to say such a stupid thing? because, I mean, if you can grab onto that, what did you just save yourself? You saved yourself a whole day of dwelling on something. I hate when people blame me for doing something that I don't think I did.

Starting point is 00:26:22 But why would they do that? Why would somebody blame me for doing something that I didn't do? So what would have to be true for this to make sense from where they're standing? That is huge. That's a huge breakthrough. So those questions sound similar, right? Why did they do that? and then the other one, but they're worlds apart.

Starting point is 00:26:43 Why would they do that? Is often an accusation disguised as curiosity. Like we pretend we're curious. Like, why would they do that? Why would they do that? You're looking for validation in that. But when you say something like, what would have to be true for this to make sense

Starting point is 00:26:58 from where they're standing? Now what you've done is you've moved to a new location. This is holographic vision. You've moved to a new location from where you were standing. before. Why would they do that as where you're standing and you're not looking at it? But if you start moving around, you get curious and you'd be able to ask a question, what would have to be true for this to make sense from where they're standing? When you find out what's going on there, it's unbelievable. A lot of people ask me why I have such a good perspective. I had somebody call me yesterday that

Starting point is 00:27:32 recently found out they had kidney cancer. So like all of a sudden, like I'm some sort of expert on kidney cancer. I'm just two months ahead of this guy. And I was just telling him, everybody's going to try to tell you that their protocol and what they did or what, you know, everybody's going to try to fix you and stuff like that. I said, all that matters is that what it is that you decide to do, like me, I've got a protocol. I've decided to do it. And that's it. Say, thank you so much for sharing, you know, so everybody kind of starts coming at you from their vantage points. And, holographic vision does not mean that you entertain everything.

Starting point is 00:28:11 There is a time where you've done your work, you've done your holographic vision, you've looked at all your options, and in this case for cancer treatment, but you've selected the one that you align with the most. At that point, you don't have to keep on entertaining. So I said to this guy, I said, be careful of that, because that'll drive you crazy. and I said, so don't be insulted if you tell me what you're going to do and recommend it to me. And I say, thanks, but no thanks. I've already got my initiative.

Starting point is 00:28:47 I've got my team built and I'm going in this direction. And he goes, oh, man, that's great, great advice. And what was funny is, is right after we got off that call, he sent me a text going, hey, I think I'm going to go in this direction. If you want, I can ask them if I can get you in. So, you know, it's just a funny, automatic thing. So a lot of this holographic vision is recognizing the humor in our automatic response, our knee-jerk reflex. We forget things very, very fast.

Starting point is 00:29:16 I can tell you, hey, I'm not looking for help, and you'll still try to help. So there's a lot of that stuff going on. So you have to be able to answer that question, you know, of like what would need to be true for that person to like right after I told them that I don't want to know something, say it. It's kind of like we forgive them for they know not what they do. and also they're just trying to help and not absorb it as like, what the fuck? I just told them that to do it, right? So this is all about your response system. Remember, this is part of the interface response system.

Starting point is 00:29:45 So maybe the employee that you thought didn't care is overwhelmed at home. Remember the text before? Maybe the friend who hasn't called you thinks that you pulled away. How about that one? Do you ever stop to think if somebody ghosts you or stops talking to you? I just heard this the other day. Somebody was talking about how their boyfriend hasn't texted them in a whole day. And that's not normal, right?

Starting point is 00:30:11 He usually texts all the time. And I said, well, maybe he's sitting there wondering why you didn't text for a day, right? So just grabbing alternative perspectives, very, very healthy. Maybe your spouse, my wife, maybe, is not angry. Maybe they're just scared or they don't feel safe right now. Or maybe they got triggered by something else unconsciously. Maybe the person disagreeing with you is not, in fact, stupid. like you're thinking.

Starting point is 00:30:36 Maybe they're seeing a side of the cylinder that you can't see. So when we say, hmm, we stop the automatic place that we're from perspective. If it's important, we'll just walk around. There's also that place where you go, I don't fucking care about this conversation. You know, I find myself saying that. I don't know if you guys ever do this, but sometimes people want to engage in a conversation with me or I see somebody trying to be right about something.

Starting point is 00:31:02 and I really don't care. In no way, shape, or form serves any of my goals and dreams. It's not under the category of what matters most. I don't even need to be in that conversation. So in my mind, I'm thinking, I just don't fucking care about this. So what do you do in that situation? Well, I can tell you, don't get into a conversation with those people. You can just say, hmm, like that.

Starting point is 00:31:26 So that's okay too. Here's an important distinction to make of all this stuff. understanding another perspective does not require surrendering to your own. That's the fear. It's not a weakness. You're not getting rid of your perspective. Holographic vision is not about becoming so open-minded that your brain falls out of the equation. Here's what it's about.

Starting point is 00:31:51 It's about being curious enough to recognize the limitations of your own vantage point. This is the power move. to become curious enough to recognize that the limitations of your perspective and your vantage point exist. Can you look at your vantage point, including how you were raised and programmed and what you consume every day? We're all brainwashed to a certain extent. Look at religion. I mean, religion's such a fascinating thing, how you have all these different groups that have these different beliefs, but they all think that what they believe is.

Starting point is 00:32:28 Can you see that there's limitations? to our vantage point. If you can see that, what you'll do is you'll become open and curious and you'll start looking at other things. And that is where your breakthrough will come. Because you can always go back to your thing, but you're going to find some things that are pretty cool.

Starting point is 00:32:48 You know, like I love to talk about the simulation hypothesis that this is not real. This is just a video game. That none of this is real. We're creating AI without acknowledging that we might even be AI. It's just a fun concept, right? A lot of people say, oh, that's ridiculous. And then all of a sudden, I'll bring up, I'll be like,

Starting point is 00:33:07 well, can you prove that this is all real? And they'll realize, no, I can't. But it doesn't matter. They'll still say it's real. So there's so many different examples of this. But we make up our minds really fast. And we don't even know that it's because of our program. Here's why certainty feels so good.

Starting point is 00:33:24 We're very bent on being certain. human beings love certainty. Even false certainty can feel better than uncertainty. Sometimes we make up our mind because not making up our mind is too uncomfortable. Because uncertainty requires us to say three uncomfortable words, and those are, I don't know. I'm going to tell you right now that my favorite three words to say are I don't know. They used to be what I feared. We'd often rather have a bad answer or give a bad answer or a bad answer or a bad reply, then have no answer. Why didn't they text? They're mad. Which is not necessarily true.

Starting point is 00:34:04 You just made it up. Why didn't I get promoted at work? My boss doesn't appreciate me. See how we just jump on things without even thinking and we lock into them. Why did my partners say that to me? They don't respect me. And suddenly the uncertainty disappears. I have learned to revel in uncertainty. There is so much power in not making your mind up, but we live in a world that's taught us that we have to make it up fast, and that certainty has to be a rapid response. That's why we make all this shit up. Now you have an explanation. That's what it is, the problem. What's wrong with being uncertain, my friends? So here's the thing. Certainty and accuracy are not the same thing. You can be incredibly certain about something and at the same time completely wrong. Am I right?

Starting point is 00:34:53 Maybe. Can you be a hundred percent certain about something, but at the same time be wrong? Of course, we've all done that. Some of the worst decisions that we make aren't because we didn't know enough. They're because we stopped looking once we thought that we knew. Holographic vision asks us to become more comfortable saying this. I don't know yet. See, this says, haven't made up my mind. yet. I might make up my mind, but I haven't yet. I don't know yet. Just saying, hmm, that's what it's saying. I'm going to think about it. Is that okay? And for a lot of people, it's not okay. Because when I ask you a question, I don't want just your answer or your opinion. I want you to agree with me. I don't know that I'm doing that. So if you have nothing to say, that's threatening to me.

Starting point is 00:35:50 because that's the same thing as saying, I don't know if you're right. Do you mind if I think about it? Isn't it silly that we live in a world like this? I don't know yet. So this is why I chose this word, hmm, as my pause cue in the interface response system, step two, pause. It stands for I haven't made up my mind yet. It's not a weakness. It's a possibility. It carries uncertainty with potential. I love potential, my friends. So then there's social media. Let's not forget about that, right? take this human tendency that we've been talking about and add the algorithm you clicked on something you watch something you agree with something and you're shown more things like it how dangerous is that right if you just hint in the algorithm something that you believe or that you like you're going to see more and

Starting point is 00:36:38 more of it and it's going to condition and it's going to get locked in even if it's ridiculous even if it's a waste of time so eventually you start thinking well everybody knows this see there's the validation social media does the validation for you. It's not true, though. All you're seeing is that everyone that you're being shown knows this. But there's a completely different algorithm for people that think completely different than you. Is there any value in looking at that as well? This is the danger with what kids are looking at.

Starting point is 00:37:12 So they're totally different. So our digital environments can become another form of the bouncer, constantly handing us information that's already on the guest list. If you look at the algorithm and social media, it's building your guest list for you. Mark Deschard from Substac says, it ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

Starting point is 00:37:34 And that's a quote by Mark Twain. So our digital environments can become another form of the bouncer, constantly telling us who's on the guest list. And what this means is that holographic vision isn't just another relationship tool anymore. It's a survival kit. It's a survival kit for modern thinking. And it's wise.

Starting point is 00:37:56 Because if you're not consciously and curiously widening your lens, somebody else is going to narrow it for you. And this changes everything. It changes even how we lead in life. Think about this in business sense. An employee misses a deadline. The manager immediately thinks they're unreliable. Maybe they're unreliable or are they unreliable.

Starting point is 00:38:18 Holographic vision doesn't mean everyone gets a free pass either. It just means investigate before you sentence. What don't I know yet? Ask the question. What don't I know yet? What could be? Gather information, look from another angle, and then decide. That's a better way of making a decision.

Starting point is 00:38:41 Strong leadership can tolerate ambiguity long enough to gather better information. And this applies to. to marriage, parenting, friendship, coaching, and especially conflict. Imagine what happens during your next disagreement. If instead of asking, how do I prove that I'm right, you ask this instead, what am I not seeing? What else might be true? That doesn't make you smaller, by the way.

Starting point is 00:39:07 It makes your field of vision bigger. And that brings up the real work. This is why the magic of holographic vision isn't really the technique. The technique is simple. I'm just saying look around. Look at things from alternative vantage points. It's not about the technique. Look again.

Starting point is 00:39:26 Ask questions. Change angles. The difficult part is this. It comes before the technique. You have to become the kind of person that is willing to discover that your original interpretation may be incomplete. You have to become the kind of person that entertains. the potential incompleteness of your initial interpretation and perception.

Starting point is 00:39:53 You cannot practice holographic vision with a closed circuit, right? With your right protect switch on, like I said before. You first have to reach this place where you haven't made up your mind. And that's why we pause. The pause allows you to enter that space. Holographic vision lives in curiosity, possibility, uncertainty, and the unknown. We're afraid of the unknown. I love the unknown.

Starting point is 00:40:18 I don't know. It requires the humility to say this. There may be something here that I currently can't see. That's not indecisiveness, my friends. That's intelligence. So that's why I have the make sense glasses. And for those of you that don't know, there's no lenses in them. People that come on our show and whenever I go out and do a talk, I always hand out make sense glasses, but they don't have any lenses on them. People don't recognize that for a while. This is what I mean when I talk about putting on your make sense glasses is you're not borrowing my glasses. They're yours, right? You're not borrowing your parents' glasses or lenses. You're not borrowing your trauma's lenses. Wearing makes sense glasses, which is just an idea. You don't actually have to have glasses, although I love my glasses. That's same makes sense on the side.

Starting point is 00:41:07 Wearing them reminds you, and that's what it does for me, it's a cue. It reminds you that you're not looking through anyone else's lenses but yours. People ask me, why do you wear glasses without lenses is because I made a decision, and I want to remind myself that I'm going to allow myself to look at things the way I can see them from all perspectives. I don't want to be influenced by anyone else's lenses. So I took the lenses out. It means that I'm willing to look again, and that's why I remove the lenses. Because we didn't consciously choose every lens through which we see the world, did we? That's a big distinction. You think that they're your lenses, that you've develop them? No, there was a lot of influence. Outside influence. Some were programmed into us,

Starting point is 00:41:52 some protected us once. Some belonged to our parents and paid forward to us. Our culture, our teachers, preachers, right, and painful experiences have formed our lenses. But we don't think like that. We just go, that's the way I see it. Holographic vision says this. Before I decide what this means, let me make sure I'm actually looking at what is here. All of it. So try this for one week. For the next days, catch yourself whenever you become certain about someone else's intentions. Catch yourself. Catch yourself. Catch yourself becoming certain about somebody else's intentions. I love when people tell me what I'm thinking or what I meant. All they're doing is telling me their perspective of what they think I thought and what I meant. So for the next seven days, catch yourself becoming certain

Starting point is 00:42:42 about someone else's intentions. The moment that you catch your brain saying, I know exactly what they did or I know exactly why they did that. Stop. Just say, huh, that's what it sounds like. Then ask three questions. What do I actually know about it? Actually, what story have I added to what I know? And also, my favorite, what else might be true? What else might be true in your life today? That's it. You don't have to abandon your first interpretation. It actually might be correct, your first interpretation. Don't abandon it. It's just an option, but you're going to look at options. But now that initial perspective or interpretation, when you allow yourself to do this, it now has to compete with other possibilities. And when it has to compete, it has to be

Starting point is 00:43:31 really, really good because there's others. This is why I found my way to Buddhism. I couldn't select one religion. I liked something about them all. I wrote about that in my book. I went on a religion tour. And I couldn't find a religion that I hated everything about. I liked something about all. So I wanted them to be all. So I chose a philosophy instead of a religion. And my wife and I became Buddhist. And this little space that we're creating here might save you an argument, a relationship, a business decision, a sleepless night, or simply six hours of being pissed off at somebody who maybe had a phone that died. Right. So here's the good shift. Maybe wisdom isn't knowing more answers, maybe wisdom is becoming more comfortable without an answer. That's it for today.

Starting point is 00:44:19 To support the Make Sense with Dr. J.C. podcast, be sure to subscribe, like, and share, as well as follow the Make Sense substack for free daily quotes, live streams, and blogs. And remember, learning without action is just another form of distraction. If something hit home and you learn something today, give it away. That's the only way it's going to stay. See you next time. Makes sense.

Makes Sense - with Dr. JC Doornick - The Idea That Ends Most Arguments Before They Start (Whole-O-Graphic Vision) - E201

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