Mantra with Jemma Sbeg - I Allow My Friendships to Evolve Without Guilt

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

This week's mantra is I Allow My Friendships to Evolve Without Guilt. As we grow and change, our relationships do too—and that’s not a failure, it’s a natural part of life. In this episode of Mantra, we explore how to navigate shifts in friendship with grace, release the pressure to hold onto what no longer fits, and honor the connections that continue to align. Allowing your friendships to evolve isn’t about letting people go—it’s about making space for authentic, mutual growth. This Mantra will help you embrace change in your relationships without guilt, and with deep self-trust. Mantra is an OpenMind Original Podcast, powered by PAVE Studios. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. For ad-free listening and early access to episodes, subscribe to OpenMind+ on Apple Podcasts. Don’t miss out on all things Mantra! Instagram: @mantraopenmind | @OpenMindStudios TikTok: @OpenMind Facebook: @0penmindstudios X: @OpenMindStudios YouTube: @OpenMind_Studios To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is Open Mind. Welcome to a brand new week. Here is your mantra. I allow my friendships to evolve without guilt. I'm your host, Jemma Spake, and I'm here to guide you toward a more centered and fulfilling life. Each week, I'll share personal stories and insights that are focused on a specific mantra, plus journal prompts and a weekly challenge for all of us to help put it

into action. Think of mantra as your mental reset button, a way to stay centered as you juggle work, school, family, whatever else life is throwing at you. Each mantra is a simple yet powerful phrase you can repeat to refocus your thoughts and bring a little bit of calm into your day. It's a small tool with a big impact, clearing your mind, lifting your mood and rooting you in the present. If you've listened to my other show, The Psychology of Your 20s, you know I'm all about those little nuggets of insight that make a big impact.

So whether you're looking for some extra inspiration or you're just trying to ground yourself amidst the chaos, you have come to the right place. At Open Mind, we value your support, so share your thoughts on social media and remember to rate, review and follow Martra to help others discover the show. For more exclusive content, monthly bonus episodes, early access and ad-free listening, join our Open Mind Plus community on Apple Podcasts. And each month I'll be answering your questions and comments in our bonus episode. So if there's ever anything you want to ask me, you want advice on, you're

having a dilemma of sorts, feel free to leave me a comment on this episode, or send a message or comment on Instagram at mantra open mind this week, we are diving into what I see as an incredibly important and essential mantra. I allow my friendships to evolve without guilt. To me, this is really all about releasing the pressure to keep every relationship the exact same forever, and just learning to really honor the natural shifts and life cycles of a friendship that come with growth

and distance and time and shifting priorities and values because every friendship is going to have these moments, whether you want them to or not. So leaning into that inevitability is so freeing actually, and it does help create a better emotional environment for your relationships to thrive rather than to feel suffocated or suffocating. So I have so many thoughts on this topic that I really can't wait to share with you guys. Make sure to stick around.

We're gonna be right back after this short pause with more of our mantra. No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at NoFriels.ca. This episode is brought to you by Dzone. For the first time ever, the 32 best soccer clubs from across the world are coming together to decide who the undisputed champions of the world are in the FIFA Club World Cup.

The world's best players, Messi, Holland, Kane and more are all taking part. And you can watch every match for free on Dazone starting on June 14th and running until July 13th. Sign up now at Dazone.com slash FIFA. That's D-A-Z-N dot com slash FIFA. Welcome back. Okay, let's get right into it. It's time for this week's mantra. I allow my friendships to evolve without guilt. I really wanted to touch on this mantra today because I've been in an incredibly reflective mood

about friendships from my past and my current friendships. One of my closest friends is actually moving. She's moving to the US at the end of the month and we have been friends for over 10 years. Right before she's about to move, we went out for a drink, we went out for this big dinner and and we had this really intense discussion, but also one of those beautiful kinds of discussions where you're just in such a flow state, where we just basically were dissecting and going

back over all the different eras of our friendship. And something that came up was a time when we almost weren't friends anymore. We almost kind of went our separate ways. And it wasn't because of anything bad. It wasn't because anyone was betrayed or hurt. It was just because we were in different periods of our life. The ironic thing was that at the time we were actually dating best friends, which is something that we also were reminiscing on and had kind of forgotten about.

And it was so strange that in that moment, we should have been closer than ever, but there were so many other things pulling us in opposite directions. And I was telling her about the time when I was talking to my mom about our friendship thinking, you know, I don't think that

this is going to be forever and how do I let her go? And I just leaned into the growth. And I leaned into the evolution that we were I don't think that this is going to be forever and how do I let her go? And I just leaned into the growth and I leaned into the evolution that we were both experiencing. And you know what? It came back around. Our friendship emerged probably six months later, stronger, more important, more intimate than ever. I think that if I had grabbed onto her and confronted her, and wanted an explanation,

and wanted her to be in my life the way that she always had, or I tried to force myself to be in her life the way I always had, I don't think that the relationship would have survived. My first initial feeling when that was happening was one of guilt and was one of anxiety. But I learned that when you push through those, I guess that first round, those primary emotions, you actually experience a lot of freedom and you

actually give the relationship breathing room and the breathing room it probably really needs. So I think that noticing that our friendships have changed and feeling give the relationship breathing room, and the breathing room it probably really needs. I think that noticing that our friendships have changed and feeling panicked, confused, anxious about that fact, is a very universal human experience. There's no other way to slice it. It is something that we will all experience, even with friends we never expected it would happen with.

Because I firmly believe it is part of growing up. The same way that grey hairs, smile lines, aching knees, I guess, are a part of growing up. Watching your friendships evolve is something that we have to accept. I'm sure as you are listening to my words right now, someone is coming to mind. You're thinking about someone particular. Maybe you're thinking about someone particular. Maybe you're thinking about an entire friendship group, someone you haven't talked to for a while. There are definitely, I would say,

four major reasons that we see friendships evolve and change. Firstly, you are once really bonded to this person by a specific place or a context. And the reason your friendship has now changed is because you've lost that place or context. There's a lack of similarity, there's perhaps difficulties with distance. I'll give you some examples of friends that this is common with. Friends you had in college, friends you had in high school, work friends, friends that you had through a shared interest or a shared hobby. Now that you are no longer at that workplace,

at that university, doing that same thing with them every single day, every single week, you found that you no longer have the fuel needed for the friendship, that the friendship has become less convenient and perhaps as a result has changed. The second reason I think our friendships evolve is because our values and our identity has really changed. This can also include certain responsibilities. For example, a friend of mine recently became a mum. I'm not going to expect her to show up for drinks with me at 7pm.

I'm not going to expect her to be able to enter the phone and be ready to hang out and stay all night at the drop of a hat. Would that mean that she has to feel guilty for that? Because our friendship isn't the same? Does it mean that I have to feel stressed and panicked by the fact that she is, I don't know, changing in my life? Absolutely not. That friendship is still insanely, incredibly, beautifully valuable to me. It's just different. The third reason is when we've chosen to prioritize other people.

And I think this is a reflection of the previous two points. Friendships need a certain level of availability, familiarity, similarity, and yeah, sometimes convenience to last. And so sometimes we get to this phase where because we are different people, we want to be around different people. Because we are in a new context, we naturally are around people who also share that context. We've chosen to prioritize different people for the chapter that we are in. That doesn't mean that either person is bad or mean or has been callous or cruel in neglecting the friendship. It's just that you have different things that you're interested in.

Now the fourth reason that a friendship might evolve or change is the one that you're probably most disturbed or upset by. The one that brings the most distress and it's when you have had a major falling out. There's been a lack of loyalty, there's been a betrayal, there's been some mistrust or misstep that has kind of pushed you to a point or the other person to a point of having no other option other than to distance themselves or perhaps end the friendship. I read this really fascinating article the other day that grouped these things

into three specific categories. Three categories of friendship evolution. The fizzle, the demotion, or the breakup. And whilst friendship breakups are probably what stick out most in our mind, the fizzle and the demotion are definitely the most common. The demotion is basically where you had a best friend, someone really, really close to you, and now they're more of an acquaintance or they're more of a casual friend. And the fizzle is when you have an important friend and they

just aren't really even existing in your stratosphere anymore. It's fizzled out. You went from calling every day to calling to once a month to texting them at Christmas time. It's fizzled. The reason I think these feel so painful though is because we place a lot of pressure on friendships. We don't ever really think of them as temporary, I think, because it takes so much time to really know someone, that once they are a solid character in our lives, we don't really expect that they'll change.

I think with romantic relationships, obviously, you don't step into them thinking they'll end, but it is in the back of our minds. The idea of a traditional romantic breakup is massively talked about, not the same for a friendship breakup. Additionally, there's a lot more of a traditional romantic breakup is massively talked about, not the same for a friendship breakup. Additionally, there's a lot more of a gray area when it comes to the evolution of a friendship. If you don't see or talk to a romantic partner for three months,

it's probably time to move on like you guys have probably broken up. You find someone new, you move on. But there is more flexibility in platonic relationships and it's in that space that things can get really confusing. We're still friends, but we're not what we were three years ago, but we're not in each other's lives. So where do I place this person in my relationship galaxy, which is a concept we'll talk about a little bit later on.

We also rely so heavily on platonic relationships for some of our toughest moments and that love is really impactful and it's real and it's powerful. I do believe that we put friendships a step below partnership in a romantic sense. But I also know personally, and I'm sure you can relate to this, that some of my soulmates are my best friends and losing them would be as painful as losing my partner. So because of this, when we notice things changing or we become hyper vigilant towards small tonal shifts, spending less time together, we want to try and hold on as tight as possible to avoid the further or future pain of a total loss, even though we know that personal evolution is important.

You would want your friends to let you change and to accept whatever phase or chapter you're in, so you have to allow them to do that as well. But let's explain why that brings such a deep sense of uncertainty. I think when friendships and people change, it symbolizes that things are changing in our life. The end of a friendship sometimes means the end of a really beautiful chapter which can make us feel quite scared for the future. It can also, of course, feel like rejection, feel like loneliness.

Loneliness definitely plays a massive role, specifically, a deep fear that we'll never find new friends or better friends. Perhaps this is the beginning of the end in terms of our social life, you can see how this turns into a real negative spiral. But also these kinds of situations elicit something very specific called social pain. So social pain is a fascinating and very real psychological phenomenon. It's essentially the brain's way of processing social rejection, exclusion, or loss

in a way that actually activates some of the same neural pathways as physical pain. Essentially, social relationships, your friendships, are actually a deeply important part of your health, your mental health, your psychological wellbeing that our brain has evolved and adapted to see the loss of a friendship is potentially dangerous. And so to ensure that we have some kind of warning sign that this is the case, it essentially makes us feel pain. The same way that, you know, as a

child you learn not to touch a hot stove or a fire by perhaps getting burnt. We kind of learned in the same way to not neglect friendships through social pain. So that means that when you feel heartbreak over a friendship, someone's slipping away, your body actually isn't being dramatic, you're not being overly sensitive. It is genuinely a feeling of hurt that is wired into you as a social being. It can also feel like a real rupture in our sense of safety, belonging, and identity. And we can make assumptions about ourselves as a reflection of that. You know, friendships often mirror who we are

and who we believe ourselves to be. So when a friendship changes or moves away from you, emotionally it can feel like you are kind of losing a part of your own self-image and it can make us really reflect on where we're going, who we are. Am I a good person? Am I worthy of platonic love? Am I worthy of love at all?

Naturally, that can also elicit guilt. Guilt that you've maybe said the wrong thing, guilt that you didn't put enough time into this, guilt that you weren't able to be what they needed by staying the same. I think a greater problem we have is when we confuse growth and evolution with plain old loss. This is definitely a form of all or nothing thinking in disguise whereby we see our friends as either being the way they've always been or that there is something wrong and

that they are not worthy at all or that there's something to be alarmed about. Either we are in a state of safety in our friendship and normalcy or we are in a state of panic. The thing is, just because a person isn't who they were when you first met them or isn't who you want them to be doesn't mean they aren't still a wonderful person who just, again, fits into your life in a different way. It doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to change because you owe it to them to be the same. In these situations, you know, as things change, no one's to blame, no one is at fault.

It is just part of the life cycle. I want to link it back to this final reason that we find it really difficult and it's because of control. When everything in life feels very uncertain at times, our jobs, our future, our romantic relationship, where we're living, who we wanna be, our families, whatever it is, those things feel uncertain. We want some things to stay the same

and so any disruption to our friendships, even minor, can really send us into an emotional spiral because we really rely on them to be consistent. This is your reminder though, that if things stay the same, if you had every single friend that you had had since you were 12 or even younger, you never lost a friend, you never experienced the fizzle or the demotion, you would probably be very bored. You'd probably be exhausted, you'd probably a friend, you never experienced the fizzle or the demotion, you would probably be very bored. You'd probably be exhausted, you'd probably be frustrated,

and you'd probably be craving something new. So the shifting of the sands, the shifting of friendships creates space for new relationships that suit you better at this time in your life and that allow you to flourish. I hope that's been a convincing argument for why you should not panic, you should not feel guilt, you should not bury your head in the sand with anxiety, but accept that this is part of life. I feel like this first part of the episode has been all about letting other people make their own

choices and letting them fade away or letting them change. Let's talk about what happens when you're the one who needs to make something happen. When you're the one who needs to have hard conversations or actually be the instigator of the fizzle or a demotion or a breakup. We're definitely going to get personal with this one. I want to share the moments that I felt friendships drift, reshape or quietly fade. What it's really taken to let that happen without blaming myself. So stay tuned.

We'll be right back after this short pause. It's the blue crew to the rescue. It's smurfing time. Hefty. Can you even lift, bro? Glouchy. I hate the radio. Quiet. There's something important to tell you. I have no idea what he just said. And smurfette. That's how it's done, boys.

Smurfs. Only in theaters July 18th. Book club on Monday. Gym on Tuesday. Date night on Wednesday. Out on the town on Thursday. Woo! Quiet night in on Wednesday. Out on the town on Thursday. Quiet night in on Friday.

It's good to have a routine and it's good for your eyes too. Because with regular comprehensive eye exams at Specsavers, you'll know just how healthy they are. Visit Specsavers.ca to book your next eye exam. Eye exams provided by independent optometrists. Now that we've looked at the meaning behind today's mantra, I allow my friendships to evolve without guilt and the many layers and factors that come into play. It's time to get personal with you guys and share some of my own, you know, vulnerable insights and reflections about this phrase. So if you have not already picked this up, I very much believe that we go through cycles in our life of shedding old relationships. There's these weird critical points where you suddenly

just find yourself almost maybe losing friends, not hearing from people as much, people dropping off, dropping away. And there's like no conceivable reason. You're just hearing less from people. The loneliness is creeping in. The shedding is completely necessary. It's also incredibly stressful. And I've spoken about this time in my life before, right when I moved to Sydney where this happened. Basically, I went from having

this incredibly beautiful social life when I was in Canberra, moving to Sydney and finding that about 50% of the people I was friends with or had relationships with, those relationships kind of disappeared. We didn't really talk. We didn't really communicate. I didn't really feel a desire to go back and see them. And I don't think they felt that desire either. And I felt incredibly guilty for not making space in my new life. I felt guilty that I'd made

some kind of mistake, I'm sure that I had in some circumstances. And for a little while, that guilt manifested in me, almost bread crumming them. And I'll fully call myself out for it. I would feel really, really terrible that I hadn't talked to them for a while and I'd send them a message saying, I'm thinking of you, can't wait to see you. And then I would forget to reply. And then four days later, oh my God, I'm thinking of your story. I didn't see that message. And it was a cycle. It was a very painful time. This would have been the alternative. The alternative would have been that both of us tried to keep forcing each other into each other's lives and into our lives. We would keep trying to make the relationship happen.

I would probably have ended up going back to Canberra and having moved back because that's what would have been where everyone that I kind of knew was. Or they would have found themselves having to make really big consolations to come and visit me, but knowing that actually, we didn't really have much to talk about. Really, it was this strange thing where I realized how many of the relationships I had in my early 20s were friendships of

convenience because we went to the same college, we did the same courses, we lived together. When those factors were no longer at play, there was nothing left to talk about. There were also some other experiences where I found myself keeping an older version of me alive for a friendship even though I'd known I'd grown that version. The part of me that would drink and party and that would club and that would go out

to the early hours of the morning, that just wasn't who I was anymore. I really actually preferred staying in and watching Ugo or crafting. But when these people would come to town, it was like I had to dust off an old uniform and put it on and pretend that I was this person for them because I didn't want to upset them. And I'm sure they were doing a great deal of pretending for me as well. That's not a healthy basis for a friendship. There was no authenticity occurring there. And all the signs were there.

I felt exhausted before, during, and after I saw them. I felt anxious about what we were going to talk about, if we even had anything to talk about. I found it had anything to talk about. I found it really hard to initiate plans I knew we both wanted to do and slowly I became very avoidant and withdrawn and I had this heavy sense in my heart of, I am a bad friend. I'm a bad friend, I'm a bad person because if I was a good person, I would have room for all these people. I would have time to stay up to date in their lives.

I would have mental capacity to be what I needed to be for them. It was only like the further I got into those months and that year that I was like, ah, but what would that leave for me? And was that really fair to them? Was that fair to pretend or to be someone I wasn't or to find that I was forcing myself to stay close with them when I really didn't want to? It's kind of like a relationship, right? When you know you're with the wrong person, sometimes the greatest act of love is to let them go. And so that's really what ended up happening.

Now in most recent times when this has happened, I've tried to do better and I've tried to really set expectations and communicate. Like I'm busy, it's not because I'm ignoring you, or try to find ways to compromise or to lessen interactions and to initiate the fizzle, and see if they meet me there. This is what I think we should do when we notice friendships changing from either direction.

I think firstly you have to be honest around, do we really value each other or is this just a sense of obligation? Is it just a sense of isolation? Are you staying friends with people because you are scared of the alternative of being lonely? That's a question I can't answer for you. But I really want you to ask yourself, if I knew that having a hard conversation or letting the course of this relationship actually take the path it needed to would mean that I would find better people or people more suited to me, I should say, in the future, would I be more okay with this natural evolution? We can't just hold on out

of fear of being lonely. It's not fair to anyone. We also need to adjust where someone sits in our relationship galaxy. This is a concept that I've talked about before, but I truly believe we all have this kind of galaxy of sorts that people sit in. The inner circle is our closest friends, the people that we have known for a long time but also who reciprocate, who we love, who feel like soulmates, our closest friends. The second circle is still people we are very close to and who we love and care about, but perhaps they're newer friends or perhaps they are previously really close friends who we

don't really get to talk to or see just as much. The third circle, the third ring of the relationship galaxy is people who we really get along with. Coworkers, casual friends, acquaintances who we really like. And the fourth circle is people that are kind of just out of our orbit. They pop into our lives every now and again. We're so glad to see them, but they're not key out of our orbit. They pop into our lives every now and again. We're so glad to see them, but they're not key relationships in our life. The thing that I truly believe is that people can shift between these circles,

but it takes understanding and mitigating and really relaying expectations for them to do so. Essentially, what I mean by that is someone can only move from the outside to the inside if they understand the expectation that they need to give more to the friendship and if they understand the expectation that you both want to see each other and if you understand the expectation that this is something to be taken seriously, if you want someone to be in the close inner two circles, like that requires a lot of effort. On the flip side, sometimes people move from

the inner two circles out to the third or fourth circle, because our expectations for each other have changed. Someone has moved, someone has got a new partner, and we understand that unfortunately, they just can't be everything that we want them to be anymore. In those situations, I just want you to really reflect on what you can expect, reflect on what you require from that person,

reflect on what you're able to give them. Remember, relationships are really about reciprocity. So if you notice that someone is never the first person to text you, is never someone who initiate plans, never remembers your birthday, never makes you feel seen, never celebrates you, seriously ask yourself, is this the best relationship or friendship for me to be in? And would this relationship perhaps do better?

Would I feel better if I still had them in my life but I expected a little bit less? Evolution does not equal failure. I sincerely believe relationships can never fail. They are just living out their individual timelines. And perhaps you're listening to this being like, wow, this sounds really callous. I don't just want to cut friends out of my life. You definitely need to have conversations along the way expressing this. I've found that choosing to have hard conversations is just one of the most golden, beautiful rules for friendships if you want them to survive.

So this isn't all a one-sided decision. If this is a close friend, this is someone you really respect and love, please do reach out to them and talk to them about this and see if it's just a miscommunication or see if it's just an error of judgment or assumption from either party. But it's also okay to say this isn't working anymore and we can both see that. Let's just see what happens if we had a more natural tone or a natural perspective on this and let things occur the way they needed to. With that in mind, I will also say don't close the door completely on a friendship unless you really need to.

You've got to remember that your ego and your pride has a way of trying to protect you by sometimes sabotaging relationships that don't need to be sabotaged. So you notice that someone's pulling away and you're like, well, we're not friends anymore. I'm going to block their number. Or someone's let you down once

or isn't there for you as much anymore. And you think that's them completely struck off. Or you just don't see each other much and you think, okay, well that friendship is done. No, unless you really need to, make sure that you keep the door open. You never know whether a friendship could come back and blossom even stronger. I think about this sometimes with hydrangeas. I don't know if you know this planet, it's this beautiful flower. And the only way that a hydrangea blooms is if you

cut off the dead flowers from before. And so perhaps that previous life cycle of your friendship and what it was before has died, has decayed. Sometimes you need to be okay with giving it some breathing room, cutting off or removing parts of the old flower for a better version of your friendship to come through. And sometimes that just requires space. You know, I gave you that story of one of my really close friends who I experienced this with. And I think what a loss it would have been for me if both of us hadn't left the door open. If we hadn't left it just a tiny bit of jar so that when we were both ready, we could kind of peek through and say hi

again and open the door fully. So this brings us to, I think, our final big question of the day. What do we owe our past friendships? What do we owe them, even if it's ended on bad terms, even if we feel like they're not who they used to be or we're not who we used to be. I do think that we owe past friendships something. I think we owe them an explanation if we decide to end things on a more serious level. I think we owe them gratitude for what they brought and who they were at that time in our life, even if it wasn't forever.

You still have beautiful sacred memories. They've still most certainly taught you something. And I think we owe them love and luck for the future. Remember just because the relationship didn't work out the way you wanted to, just because this wasn't a soulmate, a lifelong friendship doesn't mean it was a failure. And it doesn't mean that either of you did something wrong. It doesn't mean that either of you were something wrong. It doesn't mean that either of you were bad people. You just had different life paths.

So wish them luck. Hope for the best for them. Hope that maybe they come back into your life. And make sure that you reaffirm to yourself, evolution doesn't mean failure. Evolution doesn't always mean loss. Just means growth and it just means a new direction. Now that we've unpacked many of the emotional layers of friendship and change,

let's talk about how to move through this with more intention and more grace. So after the break, I'll share our deep thought of the day, a few general prompts, and of course our weekly challenge. So stick around, we'll be right back. Do you want a better relationship with yourself and the people around you? Honey, same. That's why

I'm getting better. I'm talking with the most brilliant folks I can find. We are going deep to figure out how we can care for ourselves with more joy, curiosity, and compassion. We're talking mental health, financial wellness, aging brains, tiny habits, and everything in between. So if you're ready to learn and unlearn and laugh a lot while we're at it, come join me, Jonathan Van Ness, on Getting Better, available on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back.

Let's take a moment to explore how we can really bring this week's mantra into real life, starting with our deep thought of the day. Let me tell you this, people have a lot to say about friendship. Every great philosopher, every great thinker has a quote on friendship, has some kind of wisdom to share about it. Because oh my goodness, if it is not one of our core human experiences to be seen, loved

and known, not just romantically, but platonically. Despite that, I'm going to take a quote today from someone who is unknown. You don't even know who said this. And this is what the quote had to say. Some friendships fade, others deepen, both unnatural outcomes of growth. The reason that I love this quote is because it kind of dispels the illusion that either a friendship lasts forever or it is worthless. That is definitely a thought that I have had.

If my friendship doesn't last me till the nursing home or the retirement home, well, I failed and there's nothing that I can take from this. What this quote really says to us and really states is that the deepening and the loss and the fading are both equally valuable things. And as I said before, sometimes the fading of a friendship is actually a gift to both of us because it means that you have more room for someone who might see this current version of you deeper and understand them better. And it gives the other person space to find exactly the same.

I think this is the perfect quote for this mantra and it could be a mantra in itself. Sometimes I do find myself repeating a very similar sentiment when I'm going through hard periods of shedding or hard periods of change in terms of my social world. Okay, it's time for our weekly journal practice. And remember that if you don't have your journal with you or if journaling isn't your thing, that's totally okay. You can simply just reflect on these prompts in your mind wherever you are. But here are a few questions to really help you process and find some clarity around this week's mantra, I allow my friendships to evolve without guilt. Firstly, have you ever stayed in a friendship out of guilt, habit, or fear of hurting someone.

What did that cost you emotionally? And what did it cost them emotionally that you may have not realized? Next, where are you currently pouring your energy out of obligation rather than connection, and what would it look like to gently step back? rather than connection, and what would it look like to gently step back? Finally, my favorite question, what qualities do you hope future friendships will hold? How can you start embodying those qualities in

yourself and making space for those new relationships? Whilst you're considering these questions, I'd like us to just take a few moments to really pause and sit with this mantra. In just a moment, you'll hear a music track that we created to help you hold space to absorb today's insights and consider how you might bring this mantra into your week and maybe even beyond. Of course, if the practice isn't your style, if it doesn't resonate, that's okay. Just skip ahead about 30 seconds, but as you settle in, keep our mantra in mind. I allow my friendships to evolve without guilt.

Let it simply guide your thoughts, let it be a source of meditation as the music plays, and just give yourself a moment to reflect and connect with what this means for you. Beautiful. Every week I also share a weekly challenge inspired by our mantra to help you take what we discuss and turn it into real actionable steps in your life. So I'd love to hear how it's going. You can reach out to me at mantra open mind.

And each month I'll be responding to your questions and comments in our special bonus episode available exclusively on open mind plus. This week though, I want you to take a bit of a relationship inventory, make a list of your current friendships and reflect on which ones feel reciprocal, which ones feel strained, which

ones you're holding onto out of guilt. Choose just one small action to either re-engage, redefine or let go with love. And as a reminder, you can of course reach out to me at Martra Open Mind just to share how this challenge is working for you or share your thoughts or if this is bringing up anything challenging for you, you might want us to discuss in a future episode. As we wrap up this week's episode, I want to share a few final thoughts about this mantra, I allow my friendships to evolve without guilt. I really do believe that friendships aren't meant to stay frozen in time. They are meant to move, shift and reflect to your becoming. That doesn't mean that you are a bad person. That

doesn't mean that you are treating these relationships as transactional. It just means that you understand your evolution as an individual and you understand that as much as we need companions, we are actually on our own path. Letting go of the guilt that sometimes follows a friendship breakup or a fizzle or a demotion doesn't mean letting go of love, it means making space for honesty, alignment and peace and it also means that in the future when you reflect on these people and what they brought you, you can do so from a place of real serenity and real appreciation rather than having to see it as a negative thing of, oh, this person isn't in my life because of this reason, or

this person didn't reply to this message and then we were done. You can have a real sense of stability and sereneness and acceptance that that was what was required. And it does not negate everything that that relationship brought you before. And maybe that is the bravest thing we can do is honor what was, accept what is, and trust that what is meant to stay will find its way. Thank you for joining Mantra, an exclusive Open Mind original powered by Pave Studios. At Open Mind, we value your support. So share your thoughts on social media and remember to rate, review and follow Mantra

to help others discover the show. For ad free listening and early access to Mantra with me, Gemma Spegg, we invite you to subscribe to Open Mind Plus on Apple podcasts. I will share another insightful and introspective Mant mantra with you next Monday. Until then, keep showing up for yourself and your journey. I'm Gemma Speg, see you next week.

Mantra is hosted by me, Gemma Speg, it is an open-minded original powered by Pave Studios. This episode was brought to life by the incredible mantra team, Max Cutler, Ron Shapiro, Stacey Warrincker, Sarah Kemp, and Paul Lieberskin. Thank you for listening.