Mantra with Jemma Sbeg - I Am a Powerful Creator of My Own Reality

Episode Date: January 13, 2025

This week's mantra is I Am a Powerful Creator of My Own Reality. Taking control of your life starts with recognizing the power in your choices and actions. In this episode of Mantra, we dive into what it truly means to embrace that power. This isn’t just about chasing dreams—it’s about owning your decisions, overcoming limiting beliefs, and intentionally shaping a life that aligns with your goals and values. Through personal insights and practical tips, this Mantra will help you uncover the confidence to design a life that feels authentic, fulfilling, and uniquely yours. For ad-free listening and early access to episodes, subscribe to OpenMind+ on Apple Podcasts. For more from OpenMind, follow us on Instagram @openmindstudios. Don’t forget to pre-order Jemma's debut book, "Person in Progress." It will be released on April 29th wherever you get your books. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is Open Mind. Welcome back to a brand new week. Here is your mantra. I am a powerful creator of my own reality. I'm your host Gemma Spegg and I'm here to guide you towards a more centered and fulfilling life. Each week I'll share personal stories and insights that are focused on a specific mantra plus journal prompts and a weekly challenge for all of us to help put it into action. Think of mantra as your mental reset button, a way to stay centered as you juggle work,

school, family, and whatever else life throws at you. Each mantra is a simple, powerful phrase that you can repeat to refocus your thoughts and bring a bit of calm into your day. It's a small tool with a big impact, clearing your mind, lifting your mood and just rooting you in the present. If you've listened to my other show, The Psychology of Your 20s, you'll know that I'm all about those little nuggets of insight that make a big impact. So whether you're looking for some extra inspiration or you're trying to ground yourself amidst the chaos, you have come to the right place. At Open Mind, we value your

support. Share your thoughts on social media and remember to rate, review and follow Mantra to help others discover the show. For more exclusive content, monthly bonus episodes, early access and ad-free listening, join our Open mind plus community on Apple podcasts. This week, I'll catch you up on what's been going on in my life. And then we'll dive into today's mantra. I'm a powerful creator of my own reality. This is all about recognizing our own power to shape our lives and unlocking the ability to live with intention, live with resilience, and therefore a lot of joy. Stick around. We'll be right back after this short pause. In a darkly comedic look at motherhood and society's expectations, Academy Award-nominated

Amy Adams stars as a passionate artist who puts her career on hold to stay home with her young son. But her maternal instincts take a wild and surreal turn as she discovers the best yet fiercest part of herself. Based on the acclaimed novel, Night Bitch is a thought-provoking and wickedly humorous film from Searchlight Pictures. Stream Night Bitch January 24 only on Disney+. Welcome back. We are going to get into this week's mantra in just a minute. But before we do, I want to fill you in on what's been going on with me lately

and how this mantra has been really showing up in my life. I deeply relate to this idea of creating your reality by focusing on what you can control. And a big part of that for me is focusing on what you actually want from your life, your big goals, your big dreams, and understanding that in order to make them happen, that's going to take a little bit of time. It takes an energy investment. The thing is, is that in creating our own reality, we often don't see day-to-day changes. You might not see huge shifts, huge goals being met. And then some days, you really do. Some days, the reality that you've been kind of striving for, working towards for months or years happens all at once. And that was a recent experience for me

because I announced my first ever book, my debut book, Person in Progress. And for so many years, I had writing a book as my number one goal, my biggest bucket list item. And it took a while to get to the point where I actually did it, but it was such a big element of my dream life. My dream life always involved me being an author, writing, creating something that other people would resonate with. And it's just insane that that has finally occurred. And I think what I really want to remind people about is that in creating your own reality, it does take effort and it does take a while. And sometimes the timeline for which things happen is not what you expected, but it's just an incredible feeling to finally say, I did do this thing. I did achieve this. I put in the effort, put in the hours and it was hard

and here I am. And none of that comes without setting an intention. If I had never believed that I could write a book, if I'd never said, this is something that I want to do, it wouldn't have happened because the idea and the inspiration and the motivation wouldn't have had any place in my mind. It wouldn't have existed. So how could I have set out to action something that I hadn't even thought of in the first place? So when we're thinking about creating our own reality, I do believe that it begins with really sitting, thinking, reflecting, what do I actually want from my life? What are the big dreams that feel delusional? What are the small changes that I've

been avoiding because they feel difficult? And why is it that I've convinced myself that I can't do that? And would that change if I just set the intention? If I just said, actually, I think this is possible and I think that, so I'm going to say that I'm going to do it and then let the action take over from there. So that is basically a long way of telling you about something big that's happened in my life and how it relates to what we're talking about today. Something that has also really inspired me recently is a book. It's called The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. And I picked it up on a recent holiday that I was on. Someone had recommended it to me. It has completely changed my life and it has completely changed

how I think about regret and how I think about inaction and considering how life could be different. It was mind-blowing. It's half, I guess, fiction, but also self-help. If you've ever read The Alchemist, it is very similar to that in that it tells an important message through a beautiful story and through something almost fantasy or mystical. Would really, really recommend. And I think it really does, again, relate to our mantra. So it's a central reading for this week. If you are looking for something to inspire you, it's a quick read, it's an enjoyable read. And I think we'll probably be leaving a link in the description if you want to check it out. Okay, let's get into it. It's time to talk about this week's mantra, I am a powerful creator of my own reality. Stepping into the role of creator in your life,

it isn't about control, it's about courage and accepting the things that aren't in our control. It takes a lot of bravery, I think, to recognize that whilst we can't change every circumstance, we do have the power to shape how we show up to those circumstances, how we show up in our lives. Every choice, every boundary we set, and every moment we invest in ourselves is an act of creation. And embracing this idea is both empowering and also humbling because it means taking ownership of the messy and perfect parts as much as the good aspects of what is happening in our lives. When we see ourselves as creators, we stop waiting for permission or for perfect timing. Instead, we give ourselves the grace to try, to fail, and to try again. It's really about recognizing our worthiness to shape a life that is aligned with our values and our huge goals and dreams and also our capacity to keep growing through whatever life

hands us. I met somebody recently who is very much on the cusp of launching her business. And we were sat next to each other at a friend's dinner and we got to talking about her timeline for launching this idea. And I'm not going to spoil her idea, but we were discussing her mission, her vision. And what kept coming up for her was this idea that in order for her to be ready and for her to really announce this thing to the world, everything had to be perfect. The timing had to be right. Everything else in her life had to be stable. All the details of what she was creating needed to be exactly as she wanted them.

The logo, the colors, the first line of products. And in this desire to control everything, what we don't always realize is that we're actually giving up a lot of our power and our agency because we are beholden to the idea of perfection. We might think that we are creating our reality or that we are preparing and that we are getting ready for action. But actually, what we're really doing is overthinking things. We are imagining that we're still in the planning phase, that this is what is taking all this time, but we're confusing that with progress. I think that sitting in the planning phase for too long is actually at times a form of avoidance. Because when you put your foot on the starting line and

you say, I'm ready, I'm going to start creating this, I'm going to make this happen, that is when a lot of the fear comes up. Being the powerful creator of your own reality, it requires you to stop waiting for things to be perfect because you trust that you can make it work regardless of what comes up. That self-trust is such an essential component here. You trust that you are capable, that you are able, and that you will need to act in order to bring out the reality that you want. You can't just keep imagining it and reworking it in your mind. Nothing is ever going to be perfect the first time or the second time. You will fail at changing your life more times than you succeed.

But that is actually still progress but waiting for everything to be just right before you act that is not progress unfortunately it is just at times procrastination so I learned this really when I first started the psychology of your 20s my other show there really something, as I explained it to people, that was calling me to create this project to begin. It was like this deep sense of like, this is what I am meant to be doing, even though I didn't really know what I was doing, even though, you know, the first episodes did not sound very good. It wasn't fully thought out. And, you know, the first few episodes were terrible. They were barely audible at times. They sounded like they were recorded in the back of a car because

they were. But that gave me the foundation upon which to A, keep going and B, to improve. It was all a learning experience. And you have to remember when it comes to taking back your agency and control over your reality, the hardest part is always going to be when you first start, because the possibility of failure and judgment and disappointing yourself is very loud. It's very, very loud. And then you start to slowly see results and you start to prove to yourself that what you believe and the commitment you make to those beliefs can be life changing. That was really what I began to experience. Yes, when I first began, it wasn't perfect, but because I just started, it didn't really matter anymore. And I could improve by 1% every day, every week, until it was where it was that I'd imagined it when I'd first begun. The thing that really always runs through my head when I discuss this is that nothing changes unless you do. Nothing happens unless you are intentional about making it happen. And I also see this as a skill that you have to learn. The more you practice taking back the reins and saying,

I care about the outcome, so I'm going to invest in making it happen, the more you are naturally rewarded for that in comparison to deciding to be quite passive. Reflect on this for just a second with me. Think about the moments that you have felt most successful and fulfilled. Did those moments happen by accident? Think about the last time you felt proud of yourself. You felt really proud of something that you had done or something that you had created or made happen. Did that experience happen to you or did you create it? Something else to note, the information that you feed yourself about a situation and how you speak to yourself about your circumstances, that is incredibly powerful. And I like to really explain

this by explaining the psychology of manifestation. I think we all know of manifestation and it often feels quite mystical. It feels connected to like the hidden activities of the universe and beyond. That can make it difficult to make sense of. But the entire premise is really that our thoughts create our reality. And so by controlling how we think about something, we control how that thing will occur. This can really be explained by the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Our expectations can influence our actions in ways that lead to the anticipated result. If you believe that you are capable of changing your habits, you will change your habits. If you manifest a life that is rich in friendship,

you will start unconsciously seeking out ways to make that happen. Reflecting deeply on your dream job will make you feel like it is within your reach. Therefore, you will put in the extra hours. You will network. You will end up applying. From a psychological standpoint, manifestation and how it relates to creating our dream reality, it also leverages the law of attraction and positive thinking. Even though those concepts often straddle the line between science and spirituality, maybe pseudoscience, I do think they're really, really beneficial to touch on here. Thinking positively about the future, feeling confident that you can bring about a reality that you not only enjoy, but you deeply

desire, it makes you more optimistic and that makes you more motivated. It brings about a new energy. It helps you focus on your goals. It helps you stand up for yourself. It helps you accept failure because you have imagined a future in which this is possible compared to one in which it isn't. And so all of your actions are going to go towards creating that reality for yourself compared to the alternative. If you only ever imagined that you would fail, that it would be a disaster, that you weren't deserving, that is the reality that you would fail, that it would be a disaster, that you weren't deserving, that is the reality that you will accept. Coming up, let's get personal. I'm diving into what this has looked like for me to step into the role of creator in my own life, the journey of learning to truly own my choices and shape my reality. Stay tuned after this brief pause.

Now that we've looked at the meaning behind today's mantra, I think it's time to get personal with you guys and share some of my own insights and reflections about this phrase. The most beautiful thing about this mantra is that it can apply to quite literally anything. It extends as far as your reality. But for me, it's really about focusing on the areas of your life that feel like they're happening to you rather than for you. What areas in your life do you feel like you have no agency, that you've just accepted that this is what it is, that this is how it will always be? For me, the place where this became really obvious was in my relationships, particularly

the ones I was having in my early 20s. I went through this string of relationships that were incredibly unfulfilling and that were not exactly or even slightly what I was looking for. I have always known pretty deep in my soul that I am someone who craves monogamy. I like the idea of having a big, meaningful love. And the people I was finding and bringing into my life were not people who shared this ambition. They were not people who were on the same page at me at the same time and what that really looked like was being strung along, looking for commitment and not receiving it,

feeling like my expectations were much higher than theirs, so constantly being quite disappointed. After a while, I was exhausted from this process. I was experiencing dating burnout, essentially, where I just couldn't see the reason behind why I was continuing to put myself out there if I was being shut down every single time. I was sick of dating the same people and expecting a different result. And the hardest thing for me to realize was that I was the common denominator. It's a pretty hard pill to swallow. But then again, you also realize, wait a second, if I am the thing that is tying all of these things together, if I were to change, so would my circumstances, so would my reality. So upon realizing that I was the common denominator in my love life, that I was the one who was,

I wouldn't say opting into these situations, but I didn't have strong enough boundaries or I didn't know that they weren't right for me until it was too late, I decided to take a dating detox. When you sit in a certain reality for long enough, I think you start to believe that it will never change. And so what was really important for me was to completely take a break from those situations, to show myself that there was another option, to show myself that I didn't have to step into these circumstances. I didn't have to date if I didn't want to. And also to kind of reprogram, rewire, rework the relationship that I was having with myself. So I took six months off from dating. I only focused on myself, on improving my life, on seeing my friends, on starting creative projects,

on traveling. And then one day it just felt like I was ready. That isn't where it began though. I didn't immediately start dating again. Instead, I sat back and I reflected on what kind of person I wanted. What kind of partner was I really looking for? I knew that casual wasn't for me. I knew that I wanted monogamy, but that couldn't be the only barrier for kind of entering my heart. I also knew I wanted someone who had family values. I knew that I wanted someone who was quite ambitious. I knew that I wanted someone who was kind, who was adventurous, who had similar priorities to me. And so I made this list. I made this almost description, depiction of what my perfect partner in my perfect reality would look like. And I wrote it out such that I was coming home to someone. So in this journal entry, my prompt was, imagine that you are coming home to your dream partner. You walk through the door. What do you see? Who do you see? What are they like? And it

required me to kind of word by word, piece by piece, write out exactly the kind of reality I wanted with this person that I loved. I feel like this isn't going to be a surprise to people who know me or who have listened to the psychology of your 20s or even people who can predict a happy ending to a good story. But after that six-month period, I met someone pretty quickly and everything about our relationship and how I approached our relationship was different. It wasn't a situation of waiting for this person to love me, waiting for them to want me. I was picky and I really wanted to make sure that if I was the creator of my own reality, I needed to have a really great person by my side. He was unbelievably kind, unbelievably intelligent, loyal. He had a really close relationship with his family.

He had an amazing job. The job title I didn't really care about, but it was that he was really passionate about it. He was ambitious. He showed me that he cared about something that was bigger than himself. And he also showed me that he really cared about me, that he wanted me in his life. He wanted to be with me. And it was just such a fascinating experience to see how your life changes when you add intention, when you stop being a passive player in the most important thing you will ever do, which is live, right? Life, living your life, that is the most important journey that you are on. It is the biggest journey. It is the umbrella to all other journeys. And so when you add intention into that equation, so much more comes true for you. And don't just take it from me. I

want to share the quote of the week that echoes this week's mantra. I really hope it speaks to you. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. That's by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Something that this quote really brings up for me is this idea of destiny, right? So I think a lot of times we feel like our life path has already been determined for us by where we were born, who we are, our family, what our family wants from us, our abilities, that destiny can feel quite stifling, can feel quite confronting. What I love about this quote is that it's saying that's not the case. You have agency. As much as our life might feel predetermined or boxed in, there are so many small pockets where we have choice and we can set intentions that will change everything. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.

Your decisions have the ability to in a way cancel out a destiny that you don't want. Now I'd like to take a few moments to pause and really sit with this mantra. In just a moment you'll hear a custom music track created to give you a space to absorb today's insights and consider how you might bring this mantra into your week, maybe even beyond. And if this practice isn't your style, if it doesn't resonate with you, just feel free to skip ahead 30 seconds. As you settle in, think about this week's phrase, I am a powerful creator of my own reality. Let it guide your thoughts as the music plays, giving yourself a moment to reflect and connect with what this means for you. So so up next we are going to talk about how to put these insights into real action and bring this

mantra to life i'll share some journal prompts in our weekly social media challenge stick around for more after this quick break. Welcome back. Let's explore how to apply this week's mantra in meaningful ways in your everyday life, starting with a journal practice. Here are three prompts designed to help you reflect and gain clarity with this mantra. First, what areas of my life feel like they're happening to me and how could I take a more active role in shaping them? Next, what limiting beliefs or patterns might be holding you back from creating the life that you want? How could you start shifting those today? And lastly, what support, resources or changes in your environment might help you feel more empowered to create the reality you desire?

Okay, I've given you a lot to think about, but there's more in store. Every week I'm going to give you a challenge that features our mantra. It really takes this whole thing to another level so that you can put what we talk about into tangible, actionable steps for yourself. I also want to do some check-ins so that we can hold ourselves accountable. You can reach out to me at Mantra Open Mind to let me know how the challenge is going. And next week, we'll do a recap on how things went I might even share a few personal stories with your permission of course to help encourage each other to participate in the challenge in the future and this is a two-way street so of course I'll make sure to let you know how I'm going with them as well. So here is your challenge. This week, I want you to create a

short reality vision statement. So just one or two sentences that describe the life you're actively creating for yourself. It should be something really simple but powerful that captures your intentions. For example, I've found my dream job in marketing. I'm fulfilled. I'm good at my job. I'm happy. Or I've met the person of my dreams and they treat me wonderfully. They take me out on dates. They're all I've ever wanted. Something that really represents what you want in the future. Post it on social media as a reminder of what you're working towards. You can share it as a photo of handwritten text, perhaps in your journal, piece of digital art, even as a video of yourself reading aloud your reality vision statements. Whatever you choose,

don't forget to tag me at Mantra Open Mind so I can see and cheer you on as you step into your power as the creator of your own reality. Here are my final thoughts about this week's mantra, I'm a powerful creator of my own reality. What really resonated with me was something I said before, which is that nothing changes unless you do. It's something that I've really been trying to nail home in my own brain. You can spend so much of your life doing what you've always done, eating the same meals, doing the same routine, accepting the same treatment, thinking that that's your reality. And then some days you break out of that pattern and you break out of that routine and you just see that life is a lot easier. It's a lot more enjoyable. It's just better. And it's those moments that I think we really need to hold on to.

What are the ways that you can actively make your life more aligned with what you want. Even if you don't have enough time in your day to pursue your major life goal, your major life dream, think about something in your life that you do feel you've just accepted as reality, you're not willing to change. Question how you could change that. Question how it could be different. What is a small, even five-minute daily habit change that could make a profound difference? Being the powerful creator of your own reality doesn't just have to be big and expansive and ginormous. It can also be daily, monotonous, quite minor, but it's those minor changes that I think really build a foundation for appreciating the larger changes and the larger actions that you can take. Thank you for joining Mantra, an exclusive Open Mind original powered by Pave Studios. At Open Mind, we value your support. Share your thoughts on social media and remember to rate, review and follow Mantra to help others discover the show.

For ad-free listening and early access to Mantra with Gemma Spegg, we invite you to subscribe to Open Mind Plus on Apple Podcasts. I'll share another insightful and introspective Mantra with you next Monday. Until then, keep showing up for yourself and your journey. I'm Gemma Spegg. See you next week. Mantra is hosted by me, Gemma Spegg, and is an Open Mind original powered by Pave Studios. This episode was brought to life by the Mantra team, Max Cutler, Kristen Acevedo, Ron Shapiro, Stacey Warrinker, Sarah Carroll, and Paul Liebeskind. Thank you for listening.