Mantra with Jemma Sbeg - I Anchor Myself in the Present Moment

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

This week's mantra is I Anchor Myself in the Present Moment. It’s easy to get caught up in the past or worry about the future, but true peace is found in the here and now. In this episode of Mantra, we explore how to break free from distraction, quiet the mental noise, and fully engage with the present. Anchoring yourself in the moment isn’t about ignoring reality—it’s about cultivating awareness, presence, and gratitude for what’s unfolding right now. This Mantra will help you slow down, refocus, and find a sense of calm in the midst of life’s chaos. Mantra is an OpenMind Original Podcast, powered by PAVE Studios. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. For ad-free listening and early access to episodes, subscribe to OpenMind+ on Apple Podcasts. Don’t Miss out on all things Mantra! Instagram: @mantraopenmind | @OpenMindStudios TikTok: @OpenMind Facebook: @0penmindstudios X: @OpenMindStudios YouTube: @OpenMind_Studios To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is Open Mind. Welcome to a brand new week. Here is your mantra. I anchor myself in the present moment. I'm your host, Gemma Speck, and I'm here to guide you toward a more centered and fulfilling life. Each week, I'll share personal stories and insights that are focused on a specific mantra, plus journal prompts and a weekly challenge

for all of us to help put it into action. Think of mantra as your mental reset button, a way to stay centered as you juggle work, school, family, whatever else life throws at you. Each mantra is a simple, powerful phrase you can repeat to refocus your thoughts and just bring a bit of calm into your day. It's definitely a small tool, but with a big impact, clearing your mind, lifting your

mood and rooting you in the present. If you've listened to my other show, The Psychology of Your 20s, you know I'm all about those little nuggets of insight that make a big impact. So whether you're looking for some extra inspiration or you're just trying to ground yourself amidst the chaos, you have come to the right place. At Open Mind, we value your support, so share your thoughts on social media and remember to rate, review and follow Mantra to help others discover the show. For more exclusive content, monthly bonus episodes, early access and, at free listening,

join our Open Mind Plus community on Apple Podcasts. This week, I'll catch you up on what's been going on in my life, and then we'll dive into today's mantra, I anchor myself in the present moment. This is a powerful reminder that peace, clarity, and grounding aren't things we find somewhere out there. They begin right here, right now, in this moment. Stick around. We'll be right back after this short pause. Hey it's Gemma and if you love mantra then you need to check out Starstruck with Ali

Lubar. Each Wednesday Ali sits down with celebrity guests for raw one-on-one astrology readings, decoding their birth charts and revealing how the stars have shaped their biggest life moments. From career highs to relationship drama, nothing is off limits. Starstruck is an open-mind original powered by Pave Studios. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Just search Starstruck wherever you listen to podcasts. Welcome back. We're going to get into this week's mantra in just a few, but before we do, it's time for my high slows and who knows.

A huge high today. Massive in fact, my book, Person in Progress, comes out tomorrow. That's right. It comes out tomorrow as you were listening to this episode. It feels like honestly, just yesterday that I was writing it, that I was like hunched over my computer. And it was honestly such a labor of love, hours and hours of stories and studies and research and really vulnerable moments all poured into that book.

And now you get to read it and that realization that people are going to actually absorb what's on these pages. I think it's only just sunk in for me. And you know, as of tomorrow, I am officially an author. It feels so surreal. Let me tell you a little bit about the book actually an exclusive sneak peek if you will. So again, it's called Person in Progress, a roadmap to the psychology of your 20s. And it's essentially breaking down all the theories and the science and the wisdom to explain the biggest things we go through during this decade. Relationships, friendships, career, money, self-doubt, our purpose, grief, anything you can think of or imagine that you want answers to in your 20s, the answers are in this book.

Actually, I'll literally tell you the name of the four sections right now. The first is Welcome to Your Quarter Life Crisis. Then we talk about love on the brain. We talk about work in progress, which is our career section. And then the final section is, everyone is healing from something. So my favorite section is definitely welcome to your quarter life crisis. And in it, there's a chapter on, excuse my French, the art of fucking up. And we talk about how to encourage yourself to take risks and make mistakes and the types

or categories of mistakes we face. And I just love it. It's super helpful for me as well to reread it at times. I also love the chapter on repeating history in relationships. Honestly, the whole book is just a reflection of everything I've gone through in my 20s so far and all the science and research that I've been looking for in those really hard moments. So, of course, I would love it if you purchased a copy, if you even just went online just

to read the blurb to see if it was something that you would enjoy, if you buy it as a gift. Book writing, a lot of people will say this, it's not really a money making business. About 95% of authors who write a book don't make a significant amount of money. They just feel deeply called to write it. And that's really how I feel about person in progress. So I deeply appreciate your support in reading, sharing, thinking about my book. And you know, it also just bears saying, I'm so deeply grateful. And I understand that none of this would even be possible

without the listeners of mantra and the psychology of your twenties, essentially the people who are listening to me speak right now. So thank you to all of you for your support so far. This is obviously also a very busy point in my life with everything going on. So this mantra that we're talking about this week

was really the reminder I needed myself to anchor myself in the present moment, to appreciate every chapter I'm in, good or bad, and just be where my feet are. This is exactly what we're gonna be discussing today. So let's say our mantra one more time, I anchor myself in the present moment. There's a famous quote that goes,

the present moment is all we have. And not only is that correct, but I truly believe that understanding that sentiment and being deliberately present is the single best gateway to true peace. Seriously, the people I know who are the happiest in my mind and who appear the most capable and self-assured and joyful are those who are grounded in what is happening right now in this current moment of their life. They aren't rushing to find the next big thing.

They're not rushing towards the future and trying to escape their current sensations. They don't make false promises to themselves that something always needs to change to be happier, and they're not delaying their happiness to a later date. They're also not obsessing over the past and what has been. They are at peace and they are still in what they know now and what they have right now.

I think the reason these people seemingly are so happy is because at some stage in their life, they've realized that the present is all they can control. Trying to undo the past or anticipate everything that can and will happen, that is you deliberately opting into suffering. And I know that sounds harsh, but it is the easiest way to be miserable because the past and the future, they are both very elusive concepts.

The only time you actually experience them is in your mind. So what is real and what you can reach out and touch is this present moment. Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be. This does not mean that you don't leave any space for reminiscing or for future planning and strategizing. Those things are an important part of what makes us human. But in my mind, I believe it should be a 70-30 split.

70% of you should be devoted to who you are right now, your sensations, what's in front of you, what you choose to focus on, 30% to the past and the future. When people ask me, so what does it actually mean to be fully present? Like, what does that actually entail? I often quote Eckhart Tolle. So, Eckhart Tolle is a German philosopher, and he wrote an incredible book that you've probably heard

of called The Power of Now. So, Tolle, he defines being present as a state of full awareness and acceptance of this moment, free from as many mental distractions as you can be, free of judgment or attachment to the past and future. So what does that mean? It means observing thoughts and emotions without letting them fully control you, knowing when to lean into your emotions and when to release. It means fully experiencing the now without resistance or overthinking, releasing identification with the ego and its endless narratives. For example, the ego is the part of you that tells you to hold on to grudges, that tells

you you have to prove yourself based on something that's happened in the past. The ego is what allows you and forces you to obsessively think about the future and think you can control it. That's all ego. This is our ego trying to tell us this very arrogant narrative and false narrative that you can control what's going to happen and that you should hold onto the past because there's something worthwhile in there, some unfinished business that you need to rectify, that you need to prove yourself based on.

The other part of being present according to Tole is embracing inner stillness. And this inner stillness leads to peace, joy, and in his words, enlightenment. Part of that means creating space for moments of stillness in your day. For some people that's achieved through time in nature, through meditation, through a slow and easy morning routine, maybe even something like prayer. Toll really believes that this practice of observing the present and surrendering to the moment, it is initially quite confronting and uncomfortable, but as I said, it does lead to greater self-awareness and enlightenment. And to be honest, as much as I know that,

it's still something I struggle with, and which I think this generation in particular struggles with more than any other. I'm going to illustrate why exactly that is by performing a little bit of a mental exercise here. If you engage in this with me, as you will, let's imagine the first half of your day from the moment you wake up to, let's

say, when you have lunch. So upon getting up, what is the first thing you usually do? I'm assuming it's probably go on social media or go on your phone. How many notifications do you wake up to? How much time do you spend on social media in the morning? When you're making breakfast, are you doing it in silence with your own thoughts? Or are you playing something in the background? Have you got music on? Are you watching a TV show? You get in your car. How many billboards do you see on your way to work? How many advertisements?

How many people do you walk past? How many sounds and lights and things are there for you to process? Your phone's probably buzzing at the same time. You're at work. How many emails are marked urgent? How many things do you need to focus on? How much information is being presented to you? When, in that whole process, from waking up to lunch, have you ever just simply noticed how you were feeling? When have you ever noticed how your body is sitting in space? When was the last time you really asked yourself, you know, in this very busy chaotic life, right now in this moment, how am I really feeling? Our external environment right now is built on distractions and all the things that can grab our attention because our attention in this day and age, if you don't know it already,

is money. It's a currency. It's also incredibly different, our current environment from the environments our brains evolved to exist in. Compare your current morning to the morning of someone living just 300, 400 years ago. It was one that was much slower, simpler, quieter, perhaps richer and rooted in the present and what was going on in front of them. So I think that's the first reason we really can't connect with what's going on right now. There's just too much else going on around us.

The next is the constant mental chatter that's probably taking place in your brain at any given moment, maybe right now. Constant thoughts of, what's next on my to-do list? What did that person, you know, really think of me last week? I wonder if my five-year plan is still working out. When should I pay my taxes? Should I have paid them already? Like, what's on my to-do list? I feel like I should be anxious about something

even though I feel fine. That mental spiral. If you're someone who's quite anxious like me, I'm sure you can relate to that thought pattern. I do think for all our praise and discussions about the power of anchoring yourself in the present, there is a whole subset of us who are going to naturally find that very difficult because of the way our brains are wired and how they think, or should I say overthink?

In that case, it's not about punishing yourself or trying to drag yourself away from the past or future worries. It's about being able to recognize, I think the underlying reason why you find it so hard. Of course, part of it is just anxiety and how your brain is wired. Other parts of it is unresolved trauma or a lack of closure, or believing that overthinking

will somehow protect you from future bad things. Anxiety has this tricky way of not wanting us to be in the present because it convinces us that by constantly analyzing, predicting predicting and preparing for every possible outcome, we can somehow prevent pain or control the uncontrollable. Really, anxiety's main purpose is to keep us safe. And so it spends a lot of time in the past, trying to figure out what we can learn from it, and also the future trying to anticipate

what could hurt us in that sense, and not much time in the present moment. But in reality, this endless mental loop, it really only keeps us trapped in fear, and it robs us of the clarity that can only be found in this moment. Our emotional baggage, trauma, past emotional wounds, are these very key things that keep us from connecting with the present. But it's not so much our obsession with them, it's what we do to distract ourselves from feeling our feelings that is stopping you from enjoying this moment.

So what kind of distractions do we use to keep us from appreciating the emotional response to our past or the emotional connection to our future in this present moment? The kind of distractions we use include escapism through TV and social media, alcohol or substances, overworking, daydreaming, which can turn into maladaptive daydreaming if we're not careful, even things like excessive exercise, to name a few. All of these distractions stop you from feeling your feelings. They stop you from fully connecting with them because perhaps a part of you is scared of how overwhelming it would be to let those emotions fully be felt in this present moment. So we keep them in the past or we try and delay them for

the future by using these kinds of maladaptive coping mechanisms. Sometimes as well, we actually feel comforted by existing in the past because it's what we know and it feels certain and stable because we've already lived it. So we feel more secure. It's very similar to our future overthinking. Both existing in the past and trying to anticipate the future give an illusion of control.

But here are the consequences of that. When we deliberately allow ourselves to constantly shift back into pleasant memories or ruminate on deliberately allow ourselves to constantly shift back into pleasant memories or ruminate on past experiences as a way to trap us in those moments, you can't connect with your emotions as well and that can lead to something called emotional blunting. You can't connect with others as deeply as you would like. You miss out on all the simple beauties we encounter, you know those small silent moments. You also lose mental clarity and you're less spontaneous,

you're less effective, you experience less authentic happiness. All of these in my mind sound like very core human experiences. I think when we trap ourselves in the past or we project ourselves into the future, we do miss out on a crucial part of being human. But anchoring yourself in the present moment, it is a deep intentional choice and it allows you to reverse this and really meet life as it unfolds without numbing, rushing or reaching

for something or somewhere else. When we do truly anchor ourselves in the present, we stop bargaining with time and we start participating in, you know, the only reality we ever truly have. Coming up, I'm going to talk about how I've learnt to do this in my own personal life and the kind of small, surprising rituals that I think might be able to help you as well. So stay tuned. We'll be right back after this brief pause. From early morning workouts that need a boost to late night drives that need vibes,

a good playlist can help you make the most out of your everyday. And when it comes to everyday spending, you can count on the PC Insider's World Elite Mastercard to help you earn the most PC optimum points everywhere you shop. With the best playlists, you never miss a good song. With this card, you never miss out Hey, it's Gemma. And if you love mantra where we explore weekly wisdom and self-discovery,

then you have to check out Starstruck with Ali Luber. Just like we explore mantras to guide your week, astrologer Ali Luber reveals the deeper astrological forces shaping our careers, relationships and personal growth, giving you cosmic insights you can apply to your own life. Every Wednesday she sits down with celebrity guests for raw in-studio astrology readings that uncover the fated twists, planetary influences and life-changing moments written in the stars. From career highs to relationship drama, nothing is off limits. Expect deep dives, jaw-dropping revelations and astrological insights you won't hear anywhere else. So whether

you're an astrology newbie or a chart-reading pro, Starstruck is your all access pass to the astrological side of fame. Starstruck is an open-mind original powered by Pave Studios. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Just search Starstruck wherever you listen to podcasts. Now that we've looked at the meaning behind today's mantra, I anchor myself in the present moment. It's time to get personal with you all and share some of my own insights and reflections about this phrase. I think I used to be addicted to busyness, and it was to avoid emotional pain from the past, but it also created a black hole of days and weeks where I couldn't consciously remember anything that had happened because anytime I allowed myself to feel anchored,

I added another thing to my to-do list. I committed to another social engagement, a dinner, a project, a favor to a friend. That busyness was an emotional shield that was keeping me from the fact that at that time, at that moment, I was not thriving. There was a lot I needed to deal with and be present for that I couldn't be. Of course, that also has another term. It's called avoidance. And I feel like I had this sense that if I don't acknowledge the situation or the complex

feelings associated with it, well, it may as well not exist. We see other situations like this one, you know, when people are going through grief, when they're heartbroken, when they've just been laid off from work, when their mental health is tanking, they seem to be the last person able to acknowledge it. You know, someone has just passed away in your life or you've been fired and suddenly you're rushing around the house doing a big house clean. Like that seems like the most important thing for you to do right now. Or, you know, you've just been broken up with and you haven't cried yet,

but you have signed up for a marathon. You have suddenly got all these things on your to-do list as a way to avoid any of the emotions that are attached to this very big significant thing. In those moments, we are scared of being fully present, because we are scared of the intensity of the emotions we are going to be forced to confront. There are a lot of hard truths waiting for us in the present.

So it's better to be up in the clouds or distracted or planning than processing. I think this goes hand in hand with shock sometimes as well. What are some ways that we can counteract that even when we feel like that's not a decision we want to make but we know it's the important one? My biggest one, the biggest way I force myself to be present is something I call a gratitude amble. My gratitude amble is essentially just a walk with extra steps. It's a walk out in nature. so you have to go to your local park, your local creek, your local beach, whatever it is, and go really, really slow, no headphones in, and I want you to force yourself, or invite yourself is perhaps a better word, to notice

every single little thing that you feel grateful for. So as you're walking by, that beautiful flower, isn't it so gorgeous that this thing can bloom in these circumstances? It's such beautiful weather, notice the weather. Notice the water bubbler that you can refresh yourself with. Every single little thing that you could possibly be grateful for, it is your job to notice that. I find that trying to focus

on a very specific thing that you're finding in it is your job to notice that. I find that trying to focus on a very specific thing that you're finding in your environment and link it back to an internal anchor really helps you embrace the present. I also find it really helpful to do something sensory and somatic. Something that allows me to embody my emotions like going for a run, going for a cold swim in the ocean, dancing to amazing, fun, fabulous music.

Another classic sensory grounding technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise. You'll notice that a lot of staying in the present is grounding yourself in your current sensations. This 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise involves you noticing five things you can see. So a book, a plant, your hands, your water bottle, your friend, four things you can reach out and touch, and I want you to reach out and touch them and just feel what the fabric

of your coat feels like, feel what the texture of the desk feels like, whatever it is. Three things you can hear, starting with the thing that feels the most distant, the most distant sound. So distant traffic, birds, planes, your breathing, some light music in the background. Two things you can smell, so coffee, fresh air, your perfume.

Then one thing you can taste, and this is the final anchor. So put a piece of gum in your mouth, take a sip of water, eat a piece of a mandarin, I don't know, just put it in your mouth and then just allow that sensation to fully bring you back to the present moment. So the reason this really, really works is that it engages so many of your different senses, and it also asks your brain to be very conscious and present, and to notice things that perhaps normally we just don't. Normally we just ignore.

Here's another exercise that I do, and I know it sounds a little bit morbid, but I play this exercise with myself called the last time scenario. It's not for everyone, but really what it involves you doing is asking yourself, what if this was the last time I ever did this thing? So what if this was the last time I ever went for a run or I ever had coffee, or I ever got to walk outside or I hugged this person or the last time I saw the sunset? This is a strangely grounding exercise because it taps into something that we call mortality salience, so an awareness of death,

but that actually has the paradoxical effect of enhancing our current appreciation of the present moment. It allows us to say, oh, think, you know, what exactly would I miss about this moment if I let it just pass me by and if I just kept obsessing over the future being better and being more and being the place where I'm going to be happy? It's saying, what can you be grateful for and happy about right now? I also just find stillness to be really important. Let your emotions come in and out. You know, there is this theory put forward by the neuroscientist, Dr. Jill Bolt Taylor,

that the life cycle of an emotional reaction is actually only 90 seconds unless we re-trigger it. 90 seconds, that's all it's got. So if you're worried about an emotion overtaking you, overwhelming you, destroying you, it simply cannot do that. It simply does not have the stamina or the gusto to destroy your life the way that you, it simply cannot do that. It simply does not have the stamina or the gusto to destroy your life the way that you think it might and the way that you are anticipating it will as a way to not connect with this current feeling. So sitting with these reflections, I think it always just reminds me how much power we innately have by just simply being and just surrendering to the now.

Not fixing, not rushing, just being. That is something that you can do right now. And with that in mind, I'd like to share our deep thought of the day. Now this comes from Epicurus and it says, the fool with all his other faults has this also. He is always getting ready to live. This quote is one of those quotes that runs through my head at the most annoying times specifically when I most need to hear it, but don't want to. So when I'm spending too much time imagining the future,

thinking how great it could be, trying to prepare for it, overthinking it, not realizing that the future I once both A wanted and B was kind of afraid of happening is happening right now. If you never live in the moment, what is the point of ever preparing for that moment, for the future, or reminiscing on a moment you never actually got to appreciate when you were there. Okay, I'd like us to take a few moments to pause and really sit with this mantra. In just a moment, you'll hear a music track to help you create space to absorb today's

insights and consider how you might bring this mantra into your week, maybe even beyond. Again, I always say this, if this practice isn't your style, if it doesn't resonate with you, that's totally okay. Just feel free to skip ahead about 30 seconds. So as you settle in, keep our mantra in mind. I anchor myself in the present moment. Let it guide your thoughts as the music plays and give yourself a moment to really reflect and connect with the present moment and also with what this mantra means to you. Amazing. Now that we've explored what it means to truly anchor ourselves in the present, we'll talk about how to carry that awareness into our daily lives in a real, tangible way.

So coming up, I'll be sharing a few journal prompts and this week's challenge to help you really bring this mantra into your everyday life. So stick around for more after this short break. Where you are today does not dictate the person you can become. Now, how the hell do you actually become the person you want to be? It is with me Lisa Bilou and my podcast Women of Impact with my amazing guests like Mel Robbins, Jay Shetty, Angie Martinez and they come on to share their wisdom so that we can take it away and actually be able to use that as a tool in our lives. So my homie tune in to

Women of Impact with me Lisa Bil Bilyeu, wherever you listen to this podcast and let's crush her bad-assery and confidence together. Welcome back. Let's take a moment to explore how we can bring this mantra into our daily lives in a grounded, intentional way, starting with our journal practice. If you don't have a journal nearby, that's actually no worries. You can simply pause and reflect wherever you are, just in your own mind, whatever it is you're doing right now. So here are a few prompts to help you slow down, tune in,

and connect more deeply with this week's mantra, I anchor myself in the present moment. What Thoughts, Habits, or Distractions? First, what thoughts, habits, or distractions tend to pull you away from the present moment and what do you think they're trying to protect you from? Next, how does your relationship with technology impact your ability to stay in the moment? What boundaries might help you feel more anchored? And finally, what small daily rituals help you return to yourself and how can you create

more space for them intentionally during your week? Every week I also love to share a challenge inspired by our mantra to help you take what we discussed and turn it into real actionable steps in your life. So I'd love to hear how it's going. You can reach out to me at mantra open mind and each month I'll be responding to your questions and comments in our special bonus episode, which is available exclusively on open mind plus. Okay.

This week, I want you to take some present moment walks like we were discussing. Every day, take a 10-minute walk without music, without a podcast, including this one, without looking at your phone. Turn off your notifications, turn your phone off, even leave it at home if it's safe to do so. And without the distraction of your phone, let yourself just notice every sound, scent, feeling, texture, temperature around you. Let the walk be the experience.

As a reminder, reach out to Mantra Open Mind to share how this challenge is working for you. All right, as we wrap up this week's episode, I want to share a few final thoughts about this mantra, I anchor myself in the present moment. I think you truly don't appreciate how powerful this practice of being present is until you start investing in it. And then you also start to realize how much of our days are spent in the past, in the future, in our minds overthinking, absorbing all this unnecessary mental chatter. You can do without it. You can do with at least

a little bit less. So do try and see just one time this week what it would feel like to just fully embrace what is happening to you right now without fear, without rumination, without overthinking. As you move through this week, let's just anchor ourselves in the present, not in perfection, not in productivity, not in the past, just the present. You don't need to be anywhere else but here. Really. You really don't.

This moment is exactly what life is made of and it's already enough. Thank you for joining Mantra, an exclusive Open Mind original powered by Pave Studios. At Open Mind we value your support so share your thoughts on social media and remember to rate, review and follow Mantra to help others discover the show. For ad-free listening and early access to Mantra with me, Gemma Spegg, we invite you to subscribe to Open Mind Plus on Apple Podcasts. I will share another insightful and introspective mantra with you next Monday.

Until then, keep showing up for yourself and your journey. I'm Gemma Spegg, see you next week. Mantra is hosted by me, Gemma Spegg, and is an Open Mind Original powered by Pave Studios. This episode was brought to life by the Mantra team, Max Cutler, Kristen Acevedo, Ron Shapiro, Stacey Warren Kerr, Sarah Camp, and Paul Leberskin. Thank you for listening. and Paul Leberskin. Thank you for listening. Ever wonder what the stars have to say about your favorite celebrities and yourself? Ali Lubar is breaking it all down on her brand new show Starstruck. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Just search Starstruck wherever you listen to podcasts.