Mark Bell's Power Project - EP. 498 - Self Authoring | Write Your Own Story

Episode Date: March 17, 2021

Today we got a glimpse into Jordan Peterson's "Self Authoring" program as Nsima Inyang shared his experience when going through it. This got us talking about personal development, communicating with others and how so many people build barriers around the things they want to do. Subscribe to the NEW Power Project Newsletter! ➢ https://bit.ly/2JvmXMb Subscribe to the Podcast on on Platforms! ➢ https://lnk.to/PowerProjectPodcast Special perks for our listeners below! ➢LMNT Electrolytes: http://drinklmnt.com/powerproject ➢Piedmontese Beef: https://www.piedmontese.com/ Use Code "POWERPROJECT" at checkout for 25% off your order plus FREE 2-Day Shipping on orders of $99 ➢Sling Shot: https://markbellslingshot.com/ Enter Discount code, "POWERPROJECT" at checkout and receive 15% off all Sling Shots Follow Mark Bell's Power Project Podcast ➢ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ https://www.facebook.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/mbpowerproject ➢ LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/powerproject/ ➢ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/markbellspowerproject ➢TikTok: http://bit.ly/pptiktok FOLLOW Mark Bell ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marksmellybell ➢ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkBellSuperTraining ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/marksmellybell ➢ Snapchat: marksmellybell ➢Mark Bell's Daily Workouts, Nutrition and More: https://www.markbell.com/ Follow Nsima Inyang ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nsimainyang/ Podcast Produced by Andrew Zaragoza ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamandrewz #PowerProject #Podcast #MarkBell

What's happening? Are we wife? We're in the house? No, we're not doing Clubhouse. Oh. We're doing YouTube. We're in the hizzy, though. We're in the hizzy.

Right? No. For shizzy? Oh, Lord. Where are we? What are you people doing? We're getting canceled. We're two different types of people, by the way.

Yeah, we did one of those tests. Andrew wears glasses, and I don't. Andrew has a beard, and I don't. Yeah. He's wearing a beanie. Yep. And you're not. You're not.

Yeah. Light sweater, but I have a sweater plus a vest because I'm freezing. You say he has a beard and you don't? Did you say that already? Well, yeah. Yeah, kind of. We're both, our hair length right now is almost about the same. You guys have a similarity.

You guys have a very similar skin tone. That's true. Yeah. Andrew's Congolese though, and know what that means means he wears gigantic shoes really big socks big gloves have you seen that graph though like there is a graph the Congolese graph is it pointing straight down towards the floor it should be but there is a graph of like sizes around the world and congolese are at the very top hell yeah two percent of me is winning so good for you andrew you took that two percent what are you doing

looking at these charts it wasn't your 23 and me experiment you know it's funny because i actually have a very legitimate excuse for this i have such a legitimate excuse for this my best friend is congolese brian is congolese he's full Congolese. And he like, he gave, he sent me the whole statistical graph. And I was like, why are you hung like a horse? And you had to look it up. Bruh.

That's amazing. Bruh. From, I would be, all right. So what are your teenagers? Man, I think I was like,

I was like 17 years old shit. Oh man. This guy, um, cause I think I slept at their house or something what time and this guy fucking pranked me like he came out of the bathroom he's like swinging all over the place i was like dude put some boxes on he's like i don't need to weird guy you were just like what the hell why why are dudes straight But when they're together and no one's around Why I look so gay

Hey yo Hey yo Oh god I don't know bro I mean look at us when we're together We just making out all the time We don't have women We're all up on our shit All up on each other's shit

It's just how it be man oh my god hey this is modern masculinity yeah i guess so this is modern masculinity it's very rare that there's that many girls at super training but i understand why because when there was girls here we would still all be hanging all over each other yeah and the girls would be like working out and doing stuff and they're like why don't you guys care Yeah can't even get you guys to Fucking spot me over here Just looking at other dudes Wouldn't the uh was it like the Romans

Back in the day like It would get really dark But like they would We're a team guys We could do the same thing Have sex with other dudes thighs and shit Oh thigh wars Yeah but they took that shit nuclear yeah they did roman chemical warfare yeah like in order for us to care about each other

a lot during war we're gonna have to suck each other's dick you guys totally understand that right desperate times like oh yeah i can yeah i yeah i can that makes total sense i got a cramp in my back but yeah no romans took it to another level because they would have young boys where they would be like, I am now your mentor and your teacher. But then... Let me get those thighs. Let me get those thighs. What is it about the thighs?

They just need something to have sex with. Oh. So they would place their thighs and then... then well we started off in a great place man yeah yeah i thought we were going to talk about something serious today we were thankfully no one's listening but i got some steak shaking here and some chocolate element and a little bit of coffee i've been shaking it up for a minute just to make sure it was you know ready there you go all right and drum roll down the hatch i don't know if that's a drum roll. Drum roll.

Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. It's very good. Good. And the cool thing is like, I don't need milk in this thing. I'd usually like milk to make it a bit thicker, but this is good. Yeah. This is really fucking good. I gave some steak shake to my mother-in-law last night and to both of my brother-in-laws.

They fucking loved it. Yeah. Was your mother-in-law at all? Did she know that there's like desiccated? Yeah. Yeah. She knew all the stuff that was in there. She actually happens to like, like anchovies and liver.

There's anchovies in it, but she likes different kinds of food that are just nutrient dense. So she was all good with it. And my brother-in-law was really freaking out. He was like, he's like, that is like really good. He's like, I could picture just ending my night with that.

Cause I got a sweet tooth. And I was like, that's what it's for. It's for us fatties out there. Yeah. I can't control ourselves. Can't wait to make one of my gigantic ninja blender size shakes with it. Cause that's,

it's going to be so good. Before we jump into our topic for today. Yesterday, gigantic ninja blender size shakes with it because that's it's going to be so good before we uh jump into our topic for today uh yesterday we were talking a little bit about um you get a little bit leaner and you were mentioning maybe even you're getting smaller and you like weren't too pumped about it but uh andrew and i did like a full body workout just now and i think that maybe your full body workouts along with your jiu-jitsu are things that are like massive contributors like have you noticed like anything in particular like uh or have you changed anything in particular the actual workouts i think you've been doing full body

workouts yeah for a while so it's probably diet and jiu-jitsu right yeah so i'm not even i'm not even necessarily concerned i'm getting smaller because like my quads and my pants fit normal. All my shirts fit the same. But the thing is, is my waist, my waist is getting smaller. Like my, my waist, like in terms of my pants is. You didn't have a big waist. Didn't have a big waist to begin with. No.

But like, like I feel, or I'm, I can be like eight weeks out from a show right now, but I feel fine. Like I feel fine. It's just, it's just my waist. Right. So it was just kind of weird to me because like, again, I noticed it recently with pants quads fit normally, but I was like, shoot, do I need to get smaller waisted pants now? Like, fuck.

Why do you think, uh, cause there's a lot of physique competitors that compete that, uh, train that way. Right. They do a lot of full body and a lot of uh a lot of female athletes do as well is there like what's the well is there a particular benefit to it or is it do something different that another style of training might do it'll allow you to get the most out of limited training days you know so so the reason why i do full body is because there's some day there's some weeks where i have to only train twice there's some ideally i aim for three days

but compared to what I was doing formally, where I'd be training in the gym five to six days, and I can split out all those body parts into those days. Well, now if I want to hit my back two or three times a week, I have to do full body workouts. If I want to hit my legs two or three times a week, I have to do full body workouts, shoulders, chest, back, all of that.

They have to be full body workouts. So I can still hit all those muscle groups with good frequency. That's the main goal of it. So like there'll be a full body day that I do upper and lower body, but there's an upper focus. So I'll do those upper body movements first and then some lower body movements, a little extra volume for the upper body, lower bodies thrown in the mix just to kind of keep the heart rate up and keep you moving. Exactly. And then the other full body day is more lower body volume and then a bit of upper body volume.

And then the other full body days, if I have a third full body day, it's going to be pretty even between both. And just to point out to people, this is not going to massively change your physique in any short period of time. And it's certainly not going to do anything if you don't make changes to your diet.

Your nutrition is always the main catalyst of all these things. And so always kind of keep that in mind. But if you're just looking for a change, why not give it a shot? Why not try some full body workouts? Why not? And Seema and I have talked before, and this is something I used to train people with quite often. I'd put, I'd have two upper body exercises and in the middle of the upper body exercises was always a lower body movement so you would do three exercises in a row and uh it could be um dumbbell bench press it could be uh lunges in between that and then it could be uh lateral raises uh at the end of the workout type of thing so and i really like these two because like some sometimes um what i'll

typically do is i'll do some like i'll do an upper body movement and a lower body movement and i'll superset the two because if you're freaking doing a chest press you should be able to superset that with maybe a bulgarian split squat or or whatever they're not gonna get too much in the way hardly any negative impact and if there is a negative impact it might only be for a few weeks as you adjust to breathing and getting used to having put in previous work, doing other sets. Because when I was doing my stuff today, we actually did like 10 exercises.

Yeah, we did literally everything in the gym. Yeah, and it was just like a little workout ADHD, but it was fun. We dragged the sled. We did leg press. We did leg extension, leg curl. We just kind of went all over the place. It was a lot of fun. leg extension, leg curl.

We just kind of went all over the place. It was a lot of fun. But as I got further into the workout, I did like 80 pound dumbbells on the flat bench. And I did like 40 reps with it. Not that that's like some monumental thing, but it's a lot after, you know, breathing so hard and getting through a lot of the other stuff. Yeah.

I wanted to bring this video back up because just making like just other like video clips and stuff this is i didn't notice it in person every day but like even right here like you just look i'm gonna use the word puffier even though that's not the right term but like you just look like there's more volume there what year was this 2018 it was like two years ago i think now two and a half yeah but like i noticed like your face back then you're you're still insanely jacked but like you you look even like tighter now like you know what i mean like more defined like it's i guess drier maybe yeah but i i didn't see you every day so i didn't pay attention but then i

look at that i'm like oh shit he has like like your face is slimmed down you know like and if you look up the videos from like four years ago here oh that's like 260 yeah yeah well it's kind of like the capacity we talked about the other day as well like uh even though you are leaner you're not you're not at any level right now that's harmful to you in your practice of jiu-jitsu you, if you, uh, if you were 10 pounds lighter and had 10 less pounds of body fat, you would probably start to get to be to a point where you're like, ah, like I feel like a bitch in my workouts now, but you're still in a safe zone, which is, which is amazing because if you did that, if you got to this level four years ago, where you're at now, I feel like crap.

You would feel like crap. Yeah. And that's, uh, you know, uh you know and i i feel similar i feel like i continue to just get like a pinch better here and there and shoulders get a little bit more defined stomach gets a little bit more defined like i don't have to flex my stomach to see my stomach anymore it's just kind of they're just kind of abs uh sitting there and i don't look like o'hearn they're not like etched in like perfectly but uh they're there you know and there's like little improvements and i notice probably more so with my legs than anything else where there's like leg veins calf you know my calves uh there's veins

there all the time just like little bits and little chunks of like definition that every once in a while i'll see like a striation like my tricep or something. That would never normally just be sitting there for no reason, especially without any sort of photo shooter competition in the future. And when I even compare this to last year, like right now, because last year there was a point where I got down to like 8%, 7%, and I didn't feel good. So I held it for like a week and then I was like let's get out of this let's put on like five pounds real quick um now I'm pretty close to that again I think I'm probably around nine nine percent right now but I feel like I just did jiu-jitsu yesterday I pounded down three steaks again yesterday what else did I eat I ate one of those baby-o things I feel really good right now like I don't feel drained I don't feel tired I have really good right now. Like I don't feel drained. I don't feel tired. I have really good energy. And it's like, yeah, like you said, you just get better and better

at being able to, I guess, hold a certain body composition. Yeah. I mean, and, you know, just to kind of put an exclamation point on this thing, we, you know, in talking about lifting, you know, the best lifters, they don't lift at 110%. They, talking about lifting, you know, the best lifters, they don't lift at 110%. They, they might scrape up against like 95, 98%, even, uh, you know, some of the greatest of all time, Andre Milanochev comes in, in mind, uh, scour the internet, look for it, you know, and send them, send me the video of him really straining and struggling with a lift in a competition. I, if you were to find it, I think you would be finding maybe something from when he was like, you know,

his first couple of competitions, maybe, but I don't even think he ever, I just don't think he ever even lifted like that. Yeah. Same thing with like belly of, and some of these other lifters, like they might,

they might miss a lift, but it's just cause like they go to do the lift and something's off and they just kind of do their little wave to the crowd and they walk they walk into the back they they just are like something's off with the lift i'm not going to try to pull this weight any longer yeah and i'm just going to discontinue it but they don't like a lot of times the american lifters uh we want to kind of crank the music up and do something with some sort of crazy intensity as if that's going to be to some great benefit of ours. Whereas they are, they have their eye on the ultimate prize, which is the future. You know,

what, what are you going to be able to do six months from now or a year from now? Cause even if you pulled 900, well, that may be cool. Do they have the ability in your future to pull 930? 930 is more than 900, right? It's better. It's an improvement. So I think when we're trying to stretch ourselves too thin, whether it be diet, cardio, training, just trying to make ourselves better in general, and we'll get to our topic in a minute, which we'll be touching upon a lot of these things, it gets to be kind of confusing because you're like, I thought I was

supposed to go as hard as possible on everything all the time. I thought I had to be I thought I had to work towards being great. And you don't have to work towards anything other than just figuring out a way. How can you just be a little bit better than you were before? And we're seeing that, you know, in this demonstration of looking at the way you were built there. Obviously, you're built amazing there. But you are even leaner now. And that's what we're all about.

We're all about figuring out ways of continuing to get better. Shoot, I must have been like 250, 254 there. Looks like around there, yeah. Dang. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. And I'd say even Mark right now probably looks... I mean... You're probably around the same weight, but

you're leaner right now, right? That's what I was going to say. He looks leaner now. Substantially. That's fucking crazy. I feel like I'm quite a bit leaner, yeah. Even your shoulders now, I know we worked on them today, but like, I was like, holy shit.

Like there's, there's a lot going on there right now. There's some, oh, her menstruations. Yeah. And when we were doing the, uh, leg press, you know, you were like, I've never seen your body move that way before. Yeah. And I, I just had, I only had one plate on there, but range of motion. Yeah.

My range of motion on a leg press, I was able to like, let my feet kind of come all the way, you know, all the way back and really, you really open up the taint, as Ed Cohen likes to say. And yeah, just trying to, yeah, what are things that I've worked on over the years that have been stuck, that just haven't really moved anywhere? What are things that I kind of suck at? And then once you start to find things that you suck at, it's actually a real blessing because you're like, all right, well, that's terrible. I'm really shitty at that. It's going to be pretty easy to make that better. Will I be good at it? You know, will it look good? Maybe not. Maybe it will never look good. No, I'm fine with that. But maybe can it look better than, than it did two years ago? Sure.

Yeah. And I think what's really interesting though, is like you came from like there, especially that was you getting ready for your first bodybuilding show, but coming from a powerlifting background, starting to do some bodybuilding training. I think the really cool thing to see is that you've been training for a super long time, like crazy long time since you were a teenager, you've been training hard for a long time and your body looked like that two years ago still very strong but now two years later two and a half years later your body it's like it's totally different in terms of the way your shoulders are your waist your waist has gotten smaller through all what you've been doing your legs seem to have like gotten a little bit like your your shape is changing right even though you're 43 44 i think yeah 44 so i i think that's

a really cool thing to kind of realize for individuals who like maybe they've been training for a long time or maybe they're older like your training style can really dictate you can how you can shape your body because like currently like you look like more of a you look like more of a bodybuilder right you have that shape to you, right? So that's really sick. That's really sick. I'm trying to get this link so I can share it. Yeah, it's freaking awesome to know, to know that you can just, you can make those changes, you know, and we've talked about this before on the show.

Like all three of us will continue to get a little bit better if we are able to, as long as we're able to stay connected to the things that we believe in and the things that we're doing currently. If we lose track a little bit here or there, we fall off, we have a month where we maybe are celebrating stuff more, maybe drinking more, maybe eating a little differently for a while, it really won't matter in the grand scheme of things as long as we don't fall too far that way.

But the good news is for everybody, like that goes for everybody, not just the three of us. As you go from 25 to 30, from 30 to 35 and so on, as you get older, you'll still be able to mature better and you'll still be able to look better and you'll get leaner over a period of time. Your shoulders just from working them for years and years and years, all of a sudden you'll be like, oh, I never noticed that before. Oh, I never saw that before. Oh,

what's this popping out of my forearm? What's this popping out of my quad, you know? And you'll, you'll have stuff that you just never thought you'd see on yourself before. Do you ever feel like there's a point in time where you were like rushing your rushing your progress as far as lifting was concerned? Cause like,

again, like, like I've just, like, I just know now this is a long-term play, right? So there's no reason to rush things or rush certain numbers and get yourself hurt and get out of the game. But was there a time you were doing that? When I was really young, when I was like 15, 16, and just couldn't figure out how to squat and just kind of kept getting like cut in half by squats.

Like I would just round over a ton and the weight would end up on my neck and, uh, 365 and 405. I just, I just squatted them like shit every time. And then I would like still load those weights up and I would squat them like really high. And I was like, I was like, this isn't the way, like I, I compete in powerlifting. Like I already, I know these things, you know, this is not, I was like, I don't think this makes any sense to get stronger. Cause I don't think this is going to equal anything, me doing the squat in this way. And so I had to back way off and really try to like learn the lift. And then

once I took a lot of weight off, I was like, oh, it kind of turns out that I don't even really know how to do the lift, even though I've been lifting for a couple of years already. And then once I was humble enough to do that and start squatting the right way, I had other people tell me like, oh, you're finally like actually doing a squat. Welcome to powerlifting, you know, because all I knew how to do when I was a kid is bench press. welcome to powerlifting, you know, because all I knew how to do when I was a kid is bench press. And so I had to really work at it and I had to really take a lot of steps backwards. I'm like, let me just see, let me see what it looks like if I had 275 on here. Let me pull a 45 off. And that was wrong. And then I would say, all right, well, let me see what 225 looks like. And that wasn't very good. I was like, all right, well, let me see what 185 looks like. This is,

you know, getting to be a lot less than what i bench at the moment and uh those weights started to move the right way and i was like let me do this for a while and see what i can do with that and then i was able to it was very easy to build from there but i was trying to rush it like you said i was trying to you know push a a square peg into a round hole or something. It just wasn't working out. Yeah. I'm excited for your mobility right now because this morning what I saw was like, whoa, oh my gosh, that's this whole taint. But like, no, like it would be like maybe, yeah, maybe two plates on the bar.

Yeah. Maybe like. Andrew's like, I'm jiving in. Andrew put his swimming cap on, plugged his nose, still right in there. Yeah. Splash. Let's go. Squat days and stuff.

It would be probably like two plates before Mark could even get compressed into a squat because he just needed more weight to like You know, like I said compress him and today on the leg press which you know leg press is a lot easier So it's a lot lighter, but he was doing you know real close, uh on his toes. And yeah, he was bringing that that um, you know the the foot plate all the way down like it was the Probably you know the the foot play all the way down like it was the probably best biggest most range of motion i've ever seen him did man send you the video the knees over toe squat thing he did did

who mark oh no i think i showed it to you yesterday oh yeah no my bad yeah absolutely yeah that's right yeah he did show up to me i was just like no way like one month ago yeah man mark bell wouldn't have been able to do that we don't be moving so well yeah so i'm excited for all of us man yeah when i when i tried going real close on the leg precedent like being high on my toes my right knee was just going nuts so i gotta figure out some other things i've been doing walking backwards with the sled that's been my jam like i start every workout that way and it feels so good yeah like i just that quad pump is unbelievable it really is you just it's so weird because like

you don't notice it and then you're like no i'm gonna go another lap sneaks up and then it's like oh my gosh like i'm not gonna make it like uh-oh it sneaks up on you yeah that burn that quad burn is one of those things you can't hide from. It feels so good though. Yeah. Yeah. No, like adding that in, maybe adding in some of those. Cause we have the, uh, we have the slant board here.

So adding in some of those like step ups that he, that's all on the super training. Oh, six channel right now. So you guys should go check those videos out. But he gave us a lot of movements. Yeah. And we can add in and they've been benefiting so much.

It's insane. Yeah. Even on, on his own YouTube channel, he talks about walking backwards with a backpack and just putting it on the ground and throwing some weights in there. And, you know, I'm sure everyone has a backpack, fill it up with some weights and walk backwards on the grass with it.

Obviously, if you were to walk on pavement with it, it's going to destroy the backpack in minutes flat probably. But you don't need anything expensive to do it. You can just go do it you can just go do it in a field somewhere or yard or whatever yeah real quick and see me you put a chocolate element in your coffee this morning chocolate element in my protein shake and a little bit of coffee a little bit of coffee what's the benefits of drinking um like some electrolytes this early in the morning in your coffee seems like i thought it was like a pre workout intra workout thing what about just in the middle of the day like hydration yeah hydration i

was talking to a buddy about it because i gave him some element yesterday and uh he was like oh when should i have it i think people should be having it in the morning and before they work out just because like you're not just in the morning you typically drink a lot of water but you might and most people that do the types of diets we do are electrolyte deficient. Most people that do any diet, not just these types of diets, but any diet are electrolyte deficient, sodium, magnesium, potassium, right? So if you can get that in the morning, I think it'll allow you to get better signals for your actual hunger cravings and thirst cravings during the day. If you're not going to be fiending for electrolytes, which we mostly are, right? And then reaching for a bunch of things because you're deficient, you'll actually get better

signals for what you're actually trying to, or what your body's actually feeling. So I do two a day now, not just one. Yeah. I've been starting my day every single day. I just, I throw one in my water because I used to just do salt, but I'm like, am I getting enough salt? So then I would go nuts on, and it's just like, okay, maybe that was too much. Cause now it feels like I'm drinking, am I getting enough salt? So then I would go nuts on it. And it's just like, okay, maybe that was too much because now it feels like I'm drinking the ocean.

Yeah. And so now I just throw an element pack and, you know, it does the rest of the work for me. And then real quick, during the steak shake shoot, I'm a bit of a Neanderthal. I like eating canned chicken right out of the can. I know. A lot of people may not like that, but I use the unflavored element, uh, electrolytes, the salt dude game changer. Cause now I have salt with me all the time. Like a little convenient, little pack. I'm getting all kinds of vitamins and minerals and all kinds of good stuff.

You know, fasting is super annoying too. And to have like drinks that you can have that have any sort of flavor to them is amazing. Like it makes your fast a lot easier. So that's how I've been using Element. That's what I really like about it. And then also just being on kind of a low-carb diet, we've talked about this a lot, but you need something to kind of soak up some of the hydration, some of the water that you're consuming. And a product like Element is perfect for that.

So give it a go. Give it a go. You can do so right now for freezies. You just pay the $5 shipping for the free Element recharge pack. You can do so at drinklmnt.com slash powerproject. Again, you can pick up the eight sample pack or you can go with the value bundle. That's paying for three boxes, getting a fourth one free, four different flavors. Do whatever you want to do.

Again, that's at drinklme.com slash powerproject. No code needed. Just head there right now. All right. Today, we're going to be talking about a little bit of stuff that we talked about towards the end of last podcast, and that's self-authorizing, I believe, right? Self-authoring, yeah. Self-authoring.

Or authorizing. Authoring. Authoring, whatever. All that. And this is something that you've seen from Jordan Peterson, and this is something that uh you've seen from jordan peterson and this is something that you uh put yourself through a few years ago what what uh what led you down that path like how did you discover this and and uh what were you thinking it could potentially do for you when you were in search of it well i think the the

cool thing is like i've i've been into like self-development type of stuff and in general. So I think all of that kind of led me to Jordan Peterson stuff. And then by going down the rabbit hole of Peterson, I then found that he was talking about self-author you know, a lot of people, they'll do quizzes online and they'll take personality tests and they'll take quizzes to figure out what type of career path they should go into. And these things like some of these personality quizzes might take 30 minutes, 20 minutes or whatever. And they'll spit out, oh, this is your personality. And this is what kind of jobs would be good for you to do. But when I found out about the self-authoring thing, the big, the first thing is like, he's like, this is not easy. Like it's self-evaluation. It's massive self-evaluation.

The whole thing will take, by the way, it's not crazy expensive guys. I think it's like 15 or $20, but the whole program for you to take yourself through it is going to be maybe 20 to 30 hours and it's self-evaluation. So the reason why I said it falls in line with a lot of things that I've heard you talk about is because, um, whenever you, you like say things, you're like the, you all, you, you say that you have the answers, right? All the answers are you have are within you. Right. Um, and you also have told people that they need to question themselves and ask themselves questions because they have the answers. Well, this, this whole thing is like asking yourself questions and answering those questions on crack because now every question, it's like your answers are supposed to be like a minimum a thousand words. Um, and it takes you deep. So, so the, the program, there is a present authoring, right? Present authoring. And you, you go through your virtues and your virtues are like things that you're good at. Okay. Presently. Um, and it'll have you go through like, oh, okay. You, you view that, um, you, you like to work hard in this sense. How has that been a strength in a certain situation you like you'll go through and you'll think about certain situations where that's played out positively for you and you'll do that with like eight or ten of your like your very specific things that you're good at and your virtues etc it'll also have you like evaluate things about your personality and it'll go deep on that it's

not shallow it'll have you go deep on that but then it also has you look at your faults and you identify your own faults so it'll give you a big list of like general at your faults and you identify your own faults. So it'll give you a big list of like general faults or whatever. And you'll go the rabbit hole of being like, oh, okay. I'm, I don't usually get on time to places. I don't really save my money. I'm very frivolous with my money. Right. And then it'll have, it'll question you. Okay. Well, where has that played negatively for you? How did you see that play out? What could you have done differently in this situation? What are you going to do differently now to rectify that? So it never happens again. And answering that one thing for that probably will take you like an hour. So this is, this is why like, so that's present.

Then there's future where you think about your ideal future, your social life, your goals, your main goal, your sub goals that are going to lead you to your main goal, your sub goals that are gonna lead you to your main goal, and your sub goals that are gonna help you to your day to day stuff, that's gonna help you with that big goal. And you analyze all of that. But then like for your future, it's like, what do you want your relationships to look like?

What do you want your friendships to look like? What do you want your career to look like? It's deep. And then there's the past. I'm not even gonna talk about that right now, but there's a, it's deep and it's really useful. Well, the past can be a great indicator of, uh, why you're where you're at, you know? Uh, I end up late places as well.

So it's a great example. Um, high five. Here's the guys that are always late. Uh, you know, and, and, but like you can look into your past and figure out what has maybe led you to some of this. I'm somebody that has believed a lot in myself and I've always believed in kind of unconventional thought. And I've also wasn't a huge fan of like organization and wasn't a huge fan of organizations like educate like the education system and so i think i mean some of it is just me just being fucking late you know what i mean like we sometimes share that with people when they uh throw their ass off the bench

when they go to do a bench press it's like hey just keep your ass down you know yeah um and it's just fucking show up on time sometimes sometimes it's really that just keep your ass down you know yeah um and it's just fucking show up on time sometimes sometimes it's really that it it actually can be that simple just leave earlier or wake up earlier or set something up a little bit but i don't like to do that i like i like having a lot of like pressure for some reason i kind of like i like a race against the clock you know it's a fucking good time for me. Don't take this away from me. I'm on a time attack.

Let me see how fast it takes to get there. I'm going to beat my record. I mean, if you think about it, I'm not seeking out stressful situations in any other aspect of my life. Except for that. You know what I mean? I'm not placing myself in any but like yeah let me fucking get in the tesla and go 120 down all these weird streets that that no police officers are on or whatever google says it's going to take me 20 minutes yeah i know i can shave some time off and yeah like just beating the odds like i feel like i can i feel like i always beat the odds fuck that i can make it like my wife's seen me like, you know, chilling in the hot tub when I'm like, I don't know,

it's like 45 minutes before I have a flight. She's like, how is this going to work out? I was like, it's going to be fine. Like as if the plane's going to be like waiting for me. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, and I've never missed a flight. Like it always, it always does work out.

And so, because it has always worked out and it's worked out like this, then that's just confirmation that like what I'm doing is working. Right. So how do you get me to fucking show up on time somewhere? It gets to be it gets to be hard. But learning about your past and trying to figure out some of the things that were in your history. For some, it might be easier to kind of iron out some of those things and to make sense of some of those things. easier to kind of iron out some of those things and to make sense of some of those things for others there might be more harmful things in their past that i make it really hard to get uh to get

past or beyond but just knowing that hey this is a thing for me and i continually struggle with it now what can i do about it and also like now that you're aware of it now that you see it are you really gonna are you gonna going to, are you going to choose to be stressed out about it? Because it's a choice. You have an opportunity to practice whatever you'd like to practice. I was listening to something from Viktor Frankl today, who was a concentration camp survivor. And he was saying, he had a, had this quote,

which is really powerful, but he said, uh, all we have, all we're left with is our ridiculous naked bodies. And he was talking about being in a lineup and just being treated as like another number. Like they didn't even have names.

It just had numbers. And he talked about his attitude with the, uh, soldiers that he was dealing with every day and how much of a difference it made in what he was wearing even though he was naked. So it was like, what is he wearing on his face? What is he showing? And he refused to show fear. He refused to show sadness. He was like, I'm still going to win and I'm going to win by being positive regardless of what's happening, which just

sounds absolutely impossible given those circumstances. But he said, even in those circumstances, he said, the amount of choices that you have to the way that you interpret and the way that you think about the things that are in front of you is endless, completely endless. So you could say, I'm in a fucking horror movie. This is the, this is the craziest thing. This is going to go down in history as the most awful thing anyone's ever seen or however

you are, are framing it. But then you would have to ask yourself. And again, I'm not saying that I would be able to have any sort of control. I would probably be crying the entire time. I mean, I don't, I don't know. I'd probably want to kill myself. It's probably not even an option. You probably don't even have anything to off yourself with. It just sounds absolutely horrifying in a lot of ways. But from his perspective, someone that actually went through

it, he was saying like, you still had freedom in your brain, still had freedom in your mind to think whatever way you want. So if he can do it through that, we should be able to do it through our interpretations of what somebody said about us on Instagram or through having just a really hard day or being abused as a child. Again, I never went through any of that. So I, I'm not going to pretend that I know anything about that. I'm just saying that it does seem like regardless of what happens to you in life, that we have the ability to interpret the things that happen to us in whatever way that we need to. And we can, we can interpret stuff to serve us. We can interpret things to actually be things that can really help us and be helpful towards our future. And so sometimes in looking at your past,

help us and be helpful to towards our future. And so sometimes in looking at your past, you can have some really fucked up things that have happened. But once you kind of know that now you're like, okay, well now how am I going to handle it? Yeah. Cause I can't just drag that. I can't,

I can't just tell and seem like, uh, you know, that I'm, I'm not going to be good at my job. Uh, because I, you know,

I was abused as a kid. I'm sure you'd be really compassionate. You'd be like, Oh my God, dude, that I, you know, I was abused as a kid. I'm sure you'd be really compassionate. You'd be like, oh my God, dude, that's, that's fucking horrible. But in the end, people want you to be able to perform. They want you to be able to do the stuff that you have to do. And in the end, no one really cares. Ultimately you have to be a contributor to society. I can't say, Hey man, I'm so sorry that I came inside your house and stole a

bunch of your furniture and your TV. But I grew up with some really unfortunate circumstances, and I don't have a TV. You'd be like, yeah, but that's mine. You know what I mean? You can be as compassionate as you want, and you can understand my history. But, you know, so what are you going to do with the things that were in your past and to be able to try to move forward from them? I think that's why, like when, when one takes a look at there, there's like a preface to the whole past authoring thing.

It's like, it mentions that you need to be in a decent emotional state when you do it. Don't be rushed. Don't be sad at that moment because you go deep on that. Um, one thing that's really interesting is like what you just said there, where a lot of things have happened to individuals in each of their past, but it's like, if it's never resolved, whether with a therapist or with self-evaluation, um, your continued actions towards stressful events that might be, that may correlate with those situations. It's going to be flight or flight, and it's going to be pure reaction because you haven't really dealt with it.

Right. And that's why I think like the past authoring thing can be somewhat traumatic. Like there was a point where I was doing it, that I was crying when I was writing certain things down. Cause I was like, fuck, I really remember that. doing it that I was crying when I was writing certain things down. Cause I was like, fuck, I really remember that. Cause it has you like, it has you break your past into different epochs. I don't think it's possible for anyone to review their past and not cry about it.

No. Cause some, cause it could even just be like just good memories and they could bring you to tears just cause you're like, that was such a cool time. Yeah. Or there could have been like, that was such a, usually most people have a rough pass of some kind just because like turning into a, turning into a, turning into like a mature human being

is fucking difficult. It's really hard. You know, it can be hard. So I think most people have something to where they're like, yeah, I used to think I was a nobody. I used to to where they're like yeah i used to think i was a nobody i used to think i was a loser i used to think i was fat i used to think i was dumb or whatever the fucking bullshit conversation is that you make up for yourself but exactly like all of those things have happened but how often is it that you then meditate and think and write about that for an hour right And then not only do you, you like write about it,

but then you, you really think about how did this specific situation or circumstance shape me? And how is it showing up in my life right now? Is that a negative or is it a positive? What can I do now to actually change that? What action steps can I do based off of what this situation gave me? This kind of shit can help you a lot in relationships.

They can help you a ton because you're like, why do I react so strongly to that? And then you can choose to not react as strongly to that. you need to be really careful with your words when, when we talk about this particular subject, because I, I can be really sensitive to it. So, you know, and you just let your significant other know, or whoever it is that you're,

that you're talking with. And if things are working out for you guys, they shouldn't want to attack you in that way. They should say, okay, you know, he had a weight problem or okay. He had a learning disability or okay. He had a, whatever it is. It kind of reminds me of like when you talk about a family member and you know,

you say something kind of negative, like you might say something negative. Just if your mom ever listens to this, this is hypothetical. You might say something a little negative about your mom and then your significant other, someone piles on and you're like, that shit ain't cool. That's my fucking mom. I'll break your face.

What are you talking about? You know, no one talks about my, you know, cause it's, it's a very sense. It's a sensitive thing, you know,

and you, you are frustrated in a moment, but you didn't mean to like throw her under the bus in particular, you know? And so, you know, learning, you're learning those sensitive spots is a moment, but you didn't mean to like throw her under the bus in particular, you know? And so, you know, learning, you're learning those sensitive spots is a really, really important to, to try to figure out how to move forward with anything in your life.

Absolutely. And the, the, the, the interesting thing is like, I've, I've run into quite a few people in my life that have been like, yeah, people don't change or it's hard. Like, you know, people just stay the same, whatever. Um, And I think that that is true to an extent. I think people can stay the same if they make the choice to just continue acting the way they do. Just to continue going down the same exact path. To continue, like, not evaluating the things that they have done and the things that they continue to do. Because that's, like, I mean, when we're distracting ourselves with this, we're not thinking about what we actually do. We're just, we're just going on autopilot. And if you go on autopilot all day long, every single day, you're not going to change.

Right. But I feel like if the listeners, if you guys are listening to this, you should go to that self-authoring website. If you do this, you will, it is true self-analyzation. It's like, it's like you're a therapist. You're your own therapist at that moment. I think everyone can be their own therapist to an extent, but you are literally being a real therapist to yourself and it takes a lot of work. You might just learn stuff about yourself that's helpful to explain to the people that are around you.

You know, maybe you need a pat on the back. Maybe you need a hug more than somebody, like maybe you just, but that's, that's all fine. That's, that's, that's just, that might be, as you're saying, it might be kind of the way that you are. And of course we can make changes, but it also might be something that you just enjoy. Like, Hey, I love hearing that you're proud of me. I love hearing that when you say, you think I did a good job. Like, that's cool to me. Like, I, I love hearing that you're proud of me. I love hearing that when you say you think I did a good job, like that's cool to me. Like, I don't think there's any weakness in that. I think that maybe, you know, I think that sometimes people think when you're like, you know, fishing for compliments or when you need a lot of affection that it's like a sign of weakness.

when you need a lot of affection that it's like a sign of weakness. But I think literally we're all wired a little differently and we all have a different, a different start than, than everybody else. I, I was a total mama's boy growing up. So like I need extra hugs and extra kisses and extra loving from my wife. Like it's just, I'm just a fucking B I'm a big bitch, you know, a big teddy bear, you know, uh neglect uh of any kind or uh not paying attention like but it's my interpretation right like it's not it's not that she's actually not paying attention to me it's just my own like oh she's on her phone you know it's like me just

being set a sad sack you know on on my. And I don't have to be that way. But those are things that are, you're better off communicating about them. You're better off, you know, this is something I've learned, you know, years ago. And I think it could be useful for a lot of people listening, but in any relationship, you can kind of say like, how can I serve you better?

What can I do better for you? And you don't have to really say it because it'd be awkward amongst friends, but you can just be thinking it. How can I serve and seem a better? What can I do better for you? And you don't have to really say it cause it'd be awkward amongst friends, but you can just be thinking it. How can I serve and seem a better? What's something I could do? Cause if I can serve and seem a better, if I can serve Andrew better,

this whole fucking place gets better. Everything about this place gets better. If you guys feel better about what you're doing. And so just, you know, kind of thinking in those terms, apply that to your wife, apply that to your significant other.

How can i love you more what what's what's the way i can show you without like just like buying you something or do like those things are those things are great because they're thoughtful but you know what are and andrew was kind of pointing this out like he's just like the garbage needs to be taken out you know like just there's certain things in the household that let me just take care of this shit so it's one less thing for my wife to worry about she'll notice that she'll recognize that and that's one way you can love somebody more is by taking care of some responsibilities whatever each household has different standards and ways of doing things but uh whatever those things are you get some of that shit done

and someone's like it's one less thing for me to worry about like pick up your fucking socks you know jordan peterson we're talking about him one of his uh 12 rules is don't make your wife your maid you know don't make your mate uh your significant other a maid like don't make them your mom either that's not very sexy right let's get into some freudian shit oh but you know those are all those are all really good things to uh examine and evaluate and imagine how good your life can be if you just took the time to think about some of these things yeah definitely i mean opening up that communication um going back to like what you said like amongst you know friends and stuff but i worked with somebody um i didn't resent them

but like we weren't clicking and i was like why the because he would come up and be like hey i need you to do x y and z and be like like i don't need to do like you know like don't use that word and like i just it kept getting to me. And finally I was like, Hey dude, like you can tell me whatever. But like when you say like, you need me to do something like it really gets me. And then after that, he's like, my bad. Okay. Switch it up.

And then we became really, really good friends and we worked really, really well together. That person ended up being Chris Griffin. Like it was crazy. Like before, like I would like, ah, like, dude, don't say that. But then I've actually, like, told him, like, hey, dude, like, can you not use that word need? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it just, I don't know why.

I like things like that. And the communication on your end is really good. And you could even blame it on yourself. Yeah, yeah. I don't know where it came from. You could say, hey, it's a weird click for me. You know, maybe it's something from school or maybe my dad used to say it to me all the time and he'd annoy the fuck out of me. Yeah.

And so maybe you can just at me a different way. Yeah, that's pretty much how it went down. Like, I didn't. That is weird how that feels aggressive, right? Yeah. Like, I don't know where it came from. Honestly, I think it just came from a previous, like, superior at work or something, you know. And no, I just told him and he's just like

like a couple years later he was like dude i still remember that conversation he's like i changed up my dialogue and everything was so much better like yeah like it was crazy like i didn't at the time i didn't even think much of it how have you responded in the past to somebody saying they need you to do something when you're in school and stuff i just went home and played off and like walk away you know like fuck you guys yeah went home and played video games yeah yeah absolutely makes sense yeah but you know i i was very passionate about working here and you know i i respected the hell out of them so i'm like okay we got to make this work and it's not that it wasn't working i would do anything for that guy but she's like hey can we make this a little bit better and since then like we've been really close

so it was like wow like that without that like who knows you know takes a lot of much been takes a lot of maturity to communicate like that with somebody um there's a bunch of things there though so like sometimes somebody will isolate themselves from everybody else yep because of something like that and they'll be like man they don't understand me around here. This place sucks, man. Like everyone's kind of bossing me around. So now it's like the answers are in the mirror. You know, the answers will be in some of this self-evaluation, some of this self-authoring type of stuff to where you start to ask your

questions, start to ask questions. You know, is it, is it everybody in the building's got a real problem with me? Like, are they keep barking orders at me? Or do I need to change my interpretation? Because maybe they're not barking orders. Maybe there's just a lot of things that need to be done. Maybe I should, maybe I should communicate with Mark about it, or maybe I should.

And it's great that you just communicated with Chris directly because I've had people come to me before about certain things. Like, this is more like almost gym related stuff. Like, oh, so-and-so is using this monolift forever. And I'm like, for me, I don't understand. But like people, they just don't want to get confrontational with somebody. Yeah. But like for me, I'm just like, how do you not work that out for yourself?

But communication is tough. It's huge. Just want to say one last thing is that with there's a great quote about communication. It said the hardest thing about communication is thinking that it ever happened. I remember the first time you said that it was I can't remember what it was. We messed something up with like a guest or like we wanted to post something and it just never happened. Fucking wild.

Isn't it? When you think about it. Gotcha. Dude. I remember that, you know, like, cause you hear like, oh, as soon as you assume something, you assume wrong or whatever that goes. But when you said that, I was just like, oh gosh, like, yep, that was my fault or whatever it may be.

You know, like even yesterday's guests, like assuming that it happened or. Yeah. Oh, yesterday is a good example. Giving yesterday's guess, like assuming that it happened or that community. Well, yesterday is a good example. We had all these steak shake assets and stuff and you and I communicated about like kind of what I was looking for and what we were looking for. But if the picture came to me and the picture was quote unquote wrong, that'd be my fault because I didn't communicate it correctly.

And so, you know, the hardest thing about communication is thinking that it ever happened. I could be sitting there so frustrated going, why the fuck did Andrew send this this way? And I need to calm down and go, oh, it's because you're an idiot, Mark. Because he didn't really have a good conversation with Andrew. He didn't tell him specifically if I would have said,

hey, you know, put the date here. What do you think about this? It'd be cool if it was like this color. What do you think about if we did it this way and that way and so forth? I mean, Andrew gave me everything that we needed. I'm just saying this as, as an example, a lot of times it's just thinking that you communicated well and you didn't. And I got to be totally honest. You know, I just, I think I kind of suck at communication. I'm getting, I, I work on it all the time. I try to get better at it, but I, I stink at it. And I want to try to have a white belt mentality with that at all times to

recognize, I think I can do a lot better job communicating because it's, it's fucking important. Absolutely. And you know, one thing is like, we're not here trying to, especially when we talk about reinterpretation, the way things make you feel, because certain individuals are very, let's say, maybe they're in very in tune with their emotions and they may hear us say something like interpretate it, like your interpretation of what people say as if we're trying to invalidate their feelings. Okay. No one's here trying to invalidate feelings, but it would be ideal if you could go into situations, uh, thinking that

people have the, their best ideals, right? Meaning that like, I go into a situation with you where I know that if you're talking to me about something, um, you have, you have my best interest at heart with that. You're not literally actually trying to hurt my feelings or make me feel bad or whatever. You have my best interests at heart. We could, we could assume that when you're talking to a friend, when you're talking to a significant other, if, if they're your significant other, you can hope that they have your best interests at heart. So now if they say something that immediately you have this gut wrenching feeling where you're like, Oh God, that hurt. Well, hurt well okay that hurt but instead of now acting on that hurt and and just saying something to hurt back how about we we we talk about that like hey yo what you said that that shit kind of stung a

little bit and try to do it as quickly as you can that's a hard part yeah you said this two days ago that that's a tougher one but But you should always talk about it. It's never too late. But try to bring it up as soon as possible. Exactly. Bring that up. Because then instead, if you act off of like that sadness or that anger because of how it made you feel. Like, first off, that may have not been the intention there whatsoever.

It could probably be explained. It could probably maybe they made a mistake in terms of what they communicated. And there could be an apology coming from there but if you act with that anger and or you act with that sadness and now your intention is to try and hurt back she can get real dark real fast and uh through texting and through that kind of communication there's just a lot more hurdles to jump over so um you just you want to keep texting to uh you know hey i'll you know i'll see you at nine o'clock or like just i don't keep it in that zone and keep it more joking and more light and then anything that really needs hey i need to talk to you about this particular thing uh it's hard to do because you just want to like fire out messages all day and you just want to be

kind of part of like modern, modern technology. I can just, you know, fire all this stuff out. But at the very least phone call, um, voice note. Yeah. Voice note is a hack for everybody. Voice notes. Yeah. Voice notes, a great way to communicate.

And then someone can kind of communicate back that way. Uh, those are really effective, but sometimes through like a text, a lot of different weird things can fly around. So I would advise, do your best to say, I'm going to wait until... And then also just negatively charged stuff, like what do you need it for? You know, I think that most people, you know, when they do a self-evaluation like this, imagine if someone was like, are you a positive person or a negative person? Who's going to admit that they're really negative? Maybe there's a couple people out there that would admit that they're negative. But I know a lot of people that complain that would never

probably even really recognize that they were all that negative. What kind of person are you? Like, why do you got to contribute to something negative with a comment? I'm not, I'm totally guilty. I do this all the time still. So, but it's, it's something just to think about when you put something out there, is it negatively charged or is it positively charged? And again, sometimes that is an interpretation because the, what the thoughts that you put together are really nothing until something apply until somebody applies their own thoughts to it and what they think about it, right? But at the same time, I mean, I think we know what we're talking about here. Like, is this, do I need to put this other person down?

And what's it for? I mean, we learn as kids when you're putting somebody else down, it's so that you can kind of checkmate them or get slightly above them. And what have we learned on this podcast and heard from other people? JL Holdsworth was first person I heard. I know other people say it, but hurt people, hurt people. You're hurting somebody.

It's one thing to be totally fucking around amongst friends. And sometimes things get a little sideways with that even. Right. But it's one thing to be messing around with friends and friends are going to hurt each other because any group of people or anyone that loves or cares about each other are going to hurt each other more. Because you care about those people more and that's just the way it goes. But in general, like, is there a great reason to pump out something negative? A great reason to pump out something negative? The great reason, like dump that on the world, whether it's a post or a text, probably not. Nope.

Not at all. Not at all. One of the, one of the prompts that really, like when I, when I was writing about it, I remember back, like it was, it was when I was doing the future authoring thing. Cause I think the future authoring is one of the first ones, but one of the prompts was map out your, your future. Like you're not ideal future. Like if your future went the way that you did not want it to go, everything didn't go the way you want it to go.

What does that look like? Let's write about it. How did you get here? Let's write about it. And when I was writing all that shit out, I was just like, Oh, that shit got me in my fields. I was like, like there were all these things. Cause like, I think you end up, I'm going to, I'm going to do the self authoring again, like this, I'm going to do it again this week. And it's probably going to take me a week or two to finish. But, um, it has you first, I think you map out your faults. Then you map out your not ideal future

with already your faults in mind. So then it's like, now you're taking those faults that you currently have and you're amplifying them into how you see your life going the way you don't want it to go. How often do we really think about that? Like some people are always thinking about, oh, I don't want to do this and I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this, but they've never really mapped out if everything really, if I, if everything I'm doing, that's wrong, just continue to spiral. All my faults continue to go in that direction.

What do things look like for me? And if you think about that for, for a while, oh shit, you realize some stuff. Something that had a big impact on me uh i was probably like about 19 or 20 and i was at a junior college i actually did try to go to college didn't work out even at a junior college should have could have been okay but didn't work out um and i had some we had uh homeless people come into our classroom and talk to us and And I think it's actually really interesting how we are like, I want to learn from The Rock. I want to learn from Kevin Hart. I want to learn from, you know, you want to learn from all these people that we put up on a pedestal. I want to learn from the best of the best. And we, you know, we have these interpretations of them

that they can do no wrong and that they're just amazing. And, and we don't, we see a lot of the good sides of them, a lot of the upside, they're rich, they're famous. It kind of just appears like they have everything right.

And having these homeless people talk, it was wild. Cause it was like kind of what you're talking about. Here's a lot of things that you don't want to do um but what was also interesting is that there was three of them and all three of them were fairly happy and they were fairly content with where they were what was interesting was kind of how they got there how they ended up in this spot and talk about people that were i mean i don't know what you would assume.

You probably wouldn't assume anything about someone who's homeless. Cause probably never talked to them before. Probably never even said hi or barely look at them. Cause you don't, you, it's an awkward thing on the street. You don't know. Uh, it shouldn't be as awkward as it is, but I think people are scared of homeless people sometimes. And I think, uh, we have weird feelings about it and we're not sure,

like, should we look at them and say hi, or should we kind of look away? It's just, it's awkward. It's awkward thing. Yeah. To,

to, to have right around. Anyway, when they were talking, they, they did talk about all the things that they did that led them there to the point where they were so isolated from society, from friends, from family. And it just was really eyeopening because you're like,

I don't want to do any of that. You know what I mean? Like you're just, it's cool that they were able to find happiness and that they were still, uh, comfortable with what they were doing. But each one of them had a lot of hurt about how they got to the situation that they were in. And it didn't seem like there was any real way out of it. A lot of them ended up turning to drugs. One guy was he had a lot of anxiety. He thought that he would just never become anything.

He just thought he was a loser and he thought he came from like a loser family. And so he thought that that was going to be his life. And so he did a lot of drugs. And by the time he ended up doing these drugs, he wore out his welcome with his parents and with his family and just became detached from the family. And there was another person that actually had like a really bad like injury, a car accident or something like that. And they got hooked on like painkillers and then they had a downward spiral. Almost, I think the last guy just, he was like bipolar or something. But it was just interesting to learn, like you're talking about here, what are some ways to maybe, what are some things to maybe avoid? And like I said, it's cool that these people were happy, but they also were isolated from society.

And that's what they struggled with the most. So none of them cared about not having a home, which is interesting. None of them cared about being out in the cold or out in the rain or any of that. They were just like, I wish I had somebody. I wish I had, like, I don't really have any, hardly any friends. And the only friends that I do have, they like steal shit from me because people steal stuff from each other in the streets and stuff. And so that part of it was actually really sad. And that was the part that they kind of regretted the most, but

the way that they lived, they, they weren't as upset about that. But I just found that to be really interesting learning, learning like what are, what are things that you don't want to do? What are things that you currently do that you're like, you know what? I, I know this is not great for me and this could end up being something that, uh, you know, leads me down the wrong path in the future. Yeah. Um, I think the, the, the thing that you mentioned that I guess is really

interesting there was, uh, there, the way they thought about their friendships or the, they wanted, like they wish they had more friends or good friends, et cetera. And that's something that like, we talk about that all the time in terms of the people that you have around you, they will affect you in one way or another. You could be the whatever, the most successful in the group, but if that group is doing X, Y, and Z, and that's your group, you will sooner fall in line doing X, Y, and Z. Right. And I think that that's, that's a, that's a huge deal. Like even again, and this whole thing, it really has you evaluate your friendships, the friendships that you want to have, what you like, what you want to be able to gain from friendships. And it evaluates what are you

doing right now in terms of the people that are closest to your life, because those people that are closest to you in your life, it's not that they will tell you what you will be doing, but you know, you pay attention to the information you're taking in from social media, from TV, all this that you're taking in. But there's also the information that you're taking in from the people that are in your life, the people that you're texting consistently, the people you're having constant conversations with. Whether you like it or not, you are either moving forward from that or you're moving backward from that. And you need to really think about that and evaluate whether that is helping you out or if it's not. I like what you said about a target, you know, having like a, having a target in mind, you know, what, what, what is something that you would like to get to?

And you can even emulate other people that are famous, other people that are well off or, and you could say, okay, well, let me, you know, with, with technology, you know, what do they do? They take an iPhone and they try to put it in a blender and smash it and like, try to open it to figure out how do we reverse engineer this product, you know, and now there's other companies that have sort of figured it out. How can you reverse engineer somebody's success? Like what have, what have some, some of these people done? You know, what is it that they're doing? Obviously working hard is always part of it.

But what are things, what are things they maybe had to cut out or avoid? Seems like avoiding a lot of negativity is part of it because that'll just slow you down. Having a lot of negative people around that'll just slow you down. Having a lot of negative people around, that could potentially slow you down. Getting around like-minded people or people that are, if you can, get around people that are more advanced than you in particular areas that you wish to be better in. If it's wealth, then get around people that got money.

If it's being stronger, get around people that are really strong. I think Stan Efferding was a great example of that. When he went to bodybuilding, he hung out with bodybuilders. When he wanted to compete in powerlifting, he hung out with powerlifters. He was able to get a pro card in bodybuilding. He was able to break all-time world records in powerlifting. So the people that you surround yourself with are massively important.

But just look at some of the... It doesn't have to be somebody famous either. It could be somebody in your family. It could be uncle so-and-so who made it big and he did a really good job. And maybe you don't want to have the same job as him, but you're like, that's pretty cool. Like he only works like three days a week. He has a boat. He loves to go fishing. Just whatever the things are that you're envisioning that you might like to do, start to work backwards on that and say, I wonder how it all came to be. Fucking take him out for a cup of coffee, buy him a sandwich, buy that motherfucker a sandwich. You know, something like that.

So that you can kind of descend downward from there and start to think about how do you, how would you get to this, how would you get to this target? How would you own a chain of restaurants? Well, you would, you would have to maybe know something about cooking or something about business, one or the other, passion about one or the other. And then you would have to work on recipes opening up you know you could start to it's actually fairly easy it's just an engineer it's a lot of work it's a lot of work you gotta write it down and you gotta be thoughtful about it but it's not difficult i think uh

bringing it to a health context in which you were just mentioning about um doing the wrong things continuously and ending up in a bad place. Like when we think about individuals and the way you eat and your habits around food, right? If, you know, we talk about that all the time, but let's just say that, you know, you know that you're not doing the right thing as far as your diet is concerned. You're barely exercising. Okay. Sit down and go through a, go through a mind game of seeing how that plays out.

Just sit down for like 10 minutes and play it out for the next few years. Okay, if I'm sedentary, not exercising, maybe exercising one or two days a week, and it's laughable at best, a year from now, I'm gaining weight. I've been gaining about two pounds a month. I'll be about 30 pounds heavier next year. If I keep doing that, I might have some high blood pressure. My health will go down the hill. Might end up in the hospital.

Play that fucking game with yourself. Don't, don't be, don't, don't be like, uh, try to be naive about it. Like play the game. Cause you might feel okay right now. Everything might be going all right right now. You might be getting away with it, but there's going to come time where you're not going to get away with it. It's hard to go through that game.

But going through that, like when I did that, that non-ideal future, I was just like, oh, I got to change a lot right now. Right? It's real and it's important. But especially when it comes to your health, you can do that as you're listening to this podcast right now. I know a lot of listeners are probably doing that. They're probably playing out some things in their head and maybe they see good things, but maybe there might be some things that you want to change. Yeah.

If you can be honest with that and not say like, oh, but I'll mix in a salad from time to time. Like I probably won't do the two pounds every month. Right. And then actuality is like oh shit it was four months or four pounds this month or whatever you know uh but somebody did ask a question i wanted to uh to pose to you guys hold on just a second with a question i got a question for the natty professor here got it um how old are you 28 28 i see this being a huge mistake that a lot of people make and a lot of young people around me.

I've heard it many, many times, never heard you say it before, but I've heard a lot of people say, well, I'm still young, please. For the love of God,

I would suggest that you don't say that because one day you're not going to be right. And it, it doesn't matter if you're 24 and you figured out a way to sell medical supplies to a hospital and you figured out something really awesome and you got this you know this this crazy lifestyle you're you drive a lambo or whatever whatever it is uh it doesn't matter that the age doesn't matter you know whether you were able to do something and execute on it or whether you haven't executed on anything yet. But whatever you do, don't sit there and say, oh, man, you know, like, I'll get my shit together when I'm a little older.

I see a lot of people doing that. And the next thing you know, I'm like, that guy actually never, you know, now he's like 34. Like, it's not looking so great. Real quick on that note. not looking so great real quick on that note i've heard so many um homies and people in the in the early 20 somethings say like if they were doing some shit they were just like i want to you know i just want to do things that other 20 somethings do like i just want to you know i just want to experience my 20s i'm just like you have a choice in the way you can experience your 20s it's not like just because you're 20 something, you got to be

partying all the time and going to the club all the time just because you see other 20 somethings doing that. That is not, that is just because that is what you deem as the standard does not mean that that is a path that you have to go down to experience your 20s. There could be a totally other 20s experience that's totally your own, even though it's maybe the path less traveled, right? But I see that and I just I just see that spiral And it's just like Experience it. It's just and you don't have to be a crazy goal-oriented person like we're not we're not trying to sell you on that either, but just

It doesn't really matter when you fall upon it. It doesn't really matter when you start to get your shit together However, you should always be working on that and that's why there's really no reason to say i'm only 22 time flies man yeah but a cool thing is if you stay healthy you'll feel young forever there you go there we go yeah i definitely don't like so like my early 20s i didn't have my shit together i did what other 20 i tried to do but i was always broke you know so I couldn't even do that and I didn't take care of myself so like I didn't have you know I you know lost every like I didn't lose everything but like I didn't experience any of it you know I didn't didn't get better and I also didn't experience what everyone else was uh but no we had a cool question uh from Aubrey and he's

asking uh so what do we do for a family member that has and shows great potential, but it still continues to sabotage themselves? You know, that's, that's tough. Cause you were just talking about, you know, getting around a family member that's doing well, you know, and, and it's a family member. So you can't, you don't want to, you know, you don't want to surround yourself with other, I'll just say losers. They're not a loser, but that's just the term that comes to me right now. But if they're a family member, you can't really, you know, that's tough. Yeah. You know, I, I used to, when I, when I was a coach, uh, a football coach and a strength coach, um, I just had a rule to not really communicate with people that weren't sweating, you know,

because if you weren't sweating, then you weren't, you weren't willing to put in the work, you know? And so I think with a family member, you know, it's a little different. But at the same time, I would propose things to them. I would maybe say some things to them. And if they didn't show that they can jump through even the smallest hoop, then you can just kind of detach yourself from that and just say, hey, I think they're going to... If it's drug related or something like that, that's a totally different thing. But if we're just talking about, they're just not into like getting better and they're

maybe not the healthiest and things like that, I would just have compassion and don't really worry about the criticism and just kind of mind your own business. If you bring something up or they bring something up and you go to kind of have more conversation with them and they're not really, you're not really getting a vibe that they're really that into it. Hey, there's this book. Hey,

there's, but like, imagine just dropping them a quick line about, you know, they, they mentioned something to you and you respond back with something so simple and so light and just see if they'll do that,

you know? Oh, Hey, did you get a chance to check out that website? Did you get a chance? Nah, man, I didn't,

I didn't. Oh, I mentioned that at Christmas. He didn't. It's now it's new years, you know, I didn't get a chance to, you know,

and then that's, that's it. I can walk away, you know, walk away. I would encourage you not to. But if they do come back again, you say, hey, you know what? I gave you some advice last time, and I don't really remember.

I don't think that you followed it. Like, be really frank with them and say, if you want me to tell you some of the things that you can do to get better, I'll unload them right now on you. You know what I mean? You can be that, that firm with them, but it's really rare that you're going to get someone that's going to like not do something and come back to you and, you know, claim that they still want to do what you're talking about. I'm laughing because what the two things you said right there, the second thing literally just happened uh i i was on a phone call with a friend and we were talking and they were talking about you know things that they they were they're trying to do or whatever i was like hey i so remember those books i gave you

by the did you write them on fire like like use them for heat because because like i'm like because the things you're talking to me right now like those those books that you said you you know that you said you wanted me to give you there's that there's a lot of stuff in there did you read it yet no oh why not uh okay well maybe just you know just try just try reading it because like obviously this is something you want to figure out and i'm telling you like i don't have all the answers, Sway, but I guess you can get a lot of those answers from those books. Give that a shot. But on the first thing that you're mentioning, and this is something that I had to learn,

I learned this a few years ago, is that just because someone's saying things about their problems, I learned this hard because I would hear that and then I would be like, hey, try this, try this. And that individual would almost take offense that I was trying to give solutions. Like, not all the time. It's like now, nowadays, I wait. I wait and see if they actually want my opinion on said thing. want my opinion on said thing because some people just talk to you just just because they want to talk and vent about something and if you try to give them a solution some people take it the wrong way some people I think we're talking about some people are talking about women no no no we're not necessarily talking about women no we're not as you talk about women but but like sometimes it'll be like it'll be like oh this like the individual's not asking for your advice right but you you sometimes just gotta wait until you they do ask for it and then when they do ask for it then then

you know that they're going to be receptive all right um that's that was a hard thing for me to learn but it's just it so like you if you care about it yeah you can't care about it more than the person does themselves like that's really that's really that's really big right there oh that's huge when when again when i was a football coach um i had to sit down with the head coach because he was really frustrated i mean he was like brought to tears because he's like man i just can't get these guys going and stuff like that. And I said, I said, coach, I said, I said, you, I said, you love football. I was like, not every football player that's on our team loves football. Like they're, they're kids, you know, like they, they're on the football team because

their buddies on the football team. And while they may be, uh, on the football team, they're not real uh on the football team they're not real football players like they don't love it like you love it you were you've loved it since you were a kid this is a huge passion for you and so i said the kids that want to dog it when we sprint and stuff just fucking just let them you know just let them like as long as they're not like being disrespectful you know just let them you know i was they're not like being disrespectful you know just let them you know i was like i was like i was like how many football players we have in this team you see my point right and he's like he's like yeah he's like we have about five i said those

are the five that you concentrate on then you know don't there's not gonna be anything else he can do but if we can move those five around we have those five people get fired up. Those are those are other people's buddies. Those are other people's best friends. That's who everybody's looking to anyway, because that's the stud football player. Those other fucking kids are going to move a little faster. I think one thing that could be super beneficial for people in these situations, because sometimes like people will come with to you with certain problems continuously right instead of telling them what they should do ask if they would like your opinion on what they should do because then it gives them agency it's like they have a choice now they have

a choice to be like okay yeah yeah i would like to hear what you have to say or not not really and this could be in any situation this could be someone who's continues to come into you with like you know workout problems etc because I like I've had situations where some like someone is actually coming to me with workout stuff but they they just wanted to tell me that but they didn't necessarily really care I think people I think people feel compelled to tell us that they feel like they need to tell us that like I used to be that I used to be a lot bigger you know and they're not really asking you like, hey, how can I get bigger again?

They're just, they're just trying, they're just talking. Like they're trying to be friendly and smart conversation. They're trying to say like, hey, I used to do that too, just to, you know, have something. But a lot of times people just want to be heard. And so if you could say, hey, you know, I, I, I heard what you said. And that's really unfortunate that every time you go on, hey, you know, I heard what you said. And that's really unfortunate that every time you go on a diet, you gain five pounds. You know, you can say, but you can just say, hey, I feel for you. You know, diet can be confusing. It can be struggling. Every week,

there's a different diet that comes out. I agree. It can be very difficult. And just pause and see if they start talking again. They'll say, yeah, actually, I am really confused. And you say, what are you confused about? Can I, you want me to help you clear it up? Because I think, I think I have a pretty good understanding of what happened. So maybe I can assist you. And you can see it. Like, are they really fucking interested?

But usually people aren't that interested. Uh, especially people that self sabotage themselves. They're, they're not going to be, I mean, how interested are we? Like all three of us,

we self sabotage ourselves every day, multiple times a day, probably, you know, get better. But yeah, we know we have to poop at eight o'clock. What time do we schedule a podcast for my guy?

I've been holding this for 35 minutes and I'm not even joking. I've been just trying to pinch this in so I don't have to leave you guys alone. That's not even sabotage. That's just masochistic. Yeah. Oh, my God. What you said about like, you know, we do love this shit, Bad Choice of Words, but we do love all of this, you know, the nutrition, the training and all that. shit uh bad choice of words but we do love all this you know the nutrition the training and all that so when i do get asked basically the same question from the same person you know it's like

we just went over this like why aren't why isn't it clicking but it could be they either just really don't care or they just don't know what else to you know to say in that conversation so it's like right do you really want my advice or do you just want to hang out and talk about something else could also tell someone say hey you know compliance is the hardest thing of all and it's it just clicked for me a year ago or you know what i mean yeah you could say something like that and they can be like damn like well how long you've been working at it for and say five years six years ten years yeah right i've been working at it for a long time it takes it takes a long fucking time to figure any of this stuff out.

And like all three of us just still aren't even that good at it. Like we're working on getting better. Like we have so much more to learn. We got just a guess that we're going to have in 2021. How much shit are we going to learn from them? Oh my God, already. Yeah. Right?

I mean, it's good. My life has changed already this year and last year. Yeah. But even just hearing that i'm like mark just said he's still not good at it and sema agrees like fuck where am i then you know so i uh i feel for any listener that just heard that and was like oh but one thing on that guys like this this i think that's that's the thing it's, it doesn't matter how good you get at something. I think the only,

well, how good you are, how good you are currently, all of us know that the only way to continue reaching new heights is just to understand that you're still just scratching the surface of how good you can get. Because once you think you're the fucking boss and you're the greatest, you have lost,

like you have nowhere to grow. Right. And we're all here trying to learn something all the time and grow. So what does that mean? That means that we need to be open to all the new things that people are going to talk to us about. I remember again, you know, Bobby Lashley talking about training at the Olympic training center, um, in, in wrestling. And a couple of guys were like, Oh, you know, I was all state here and I was all American there. And he was just like, he was like,

this is dumb as fucking thing. I read like, you know, this is, this is the best of the best. He's like, what you're talking about, like just is not relevant at all,

you know? And, uh, there are levels to it, right? You could always get better. So for someone like that in a position where they've been All-American in college and now they're stepping up to that next level,

what's going to be the thing that is the most helpful to them? It's going to be to recognize, like, shit, man, like I probably still need to get a lot better because a lot of these people around me have different experiences. They're different strength levels. They're different quickness. This guy has crazy mobility. I can't figure out how to, you know, get him into certain holds or can't figure out how to beat that guy because he's so quick.

You just quickly recognize, like, I'm not really, like, I thought I was, I know that I'm good. I know that I might even be considered to be great by some but in some aspects right that's fine to recognize those things as well but shit man you you got no choice but to continue to get better white belt mentality i mean elon musk let's say that elon musk i mean he said on joe rogan that in the next two years he'll be sending some people to mars right so he sends some people to Mars, right? Let's just say it goes well. Say it goes great.

And he's like, shit, I can send tons of people to Mars. And is he going to stop inventing and stop creating? Is Jeff Bezos going to stop making money, stop learning, stop trying to grow his business? The Rock, I mean, The rock is the greatest example of this. I mean, he would just laugh his face off if you were to ask him if he could get better at something. Hey, rock, do you think, you know, you're, you're, you're, you know, you're 50. Like, can you get stronger?

Can you get in better shape? You just laugh his face off. He'd be like, fuck. Yeah, I can get stronger. Fuck. Yeah, I can. Can you get more mobile? Could you be in less pain from all your years of wrestling?

Could you spend more time with your family? Could you figure out? Could you make more movies? I mean, the guy's so talented at so many different things, it baffles our mind. But he would be the first guy, I believe, he would be the first guy to tell you like yeah i can get better all those things there's a lack of excuses like there's i like that's the thing man like when when you when someone's uncomfortable with something let's say like someone comes to me and they're they're uncomfortable with their fitness level they like i start hearing excuses about things like shoot i'm i'm 35 like i'm just starting out or yeah i mean i didn't play sports

when i was a kid or there's there's there's there's always these excuses or or like ah yeah i'm not fit enough to necessarily start doing that my parents didn't teach me about nutrition so i'm fat yeah i want to get in shape before i go to the gym i want to get in shape before i start jujitsu like i i hear that all the time. That's, that's exactly it. There are all these like excuses that on Monday, like when we had Jeff Lerner on the podcast, you know, I think one of the big things that he talked about was people create barriers

for themselves. These aren't barriers that are actually there. There's barriers that you created. Shoot. You really like to dance and there's a bunch of dance studios in the area but you choose not to go and take advantage of that well that's you creating a barrier for yourself and people there i think i'm weird people they're gonna think i'm weird people they're gonna think i'm not good like it's it's like all of these imaginary i'm

really short for a dancer so they're gonna think it's strange they're all gonna look at me bro like amazing the stuff we make up right oh yeah but but other people aren't gonna like people that perform at a higher level they're not gonna look at those they're not gonna look at excuses they're just gonna be like hmm that's cool how can I do it how can I start how can I learn what videos can I find it's like's, there's always this solution oriented mindset. One other thing I was going to mention, I forgot to mention it, um, to that guy who asked, uh, that there's somebody that he sees that self sabotages. I like to gift people books. If someone tells me something instead of me telling them what they should do, because for some people, I just know that they're not even going to go out and purchase the book. I will get them.

I have bought people books before because I know when I give it to them, they'll put it somewhere. It'll either be in the bookshelf and it'll collect dust, but they'll see that book continuously as they continue to go about things. They'll see it and they'll see it. And I've had friends that are like, I saw that book after three years and I finally read it and I see what you're talking about. Because it was just there. I wasn't reminding them about anything. I just left them that book and said, hey, check it out.

It can help. That's a great idea is just to like get them something useful. You know, a book is a great way to do that. A great way to accomplish that. Something I bought for everybody that works here at Slingshot is I bought them like Bose headphones. Cause I'm a big believer in like continuing your education.

And I'm like, what, well, what could be helpful towards, and then, you know, plus it's just cool to listen to music on it or whatever. Those are nice.

Yeah. You know, things like that, like what could you, and those are expensive, right? So, you know,

what can you think of that? Somebody says, man, I really have a hard time getting in protein. You hear your, your aunt or your uncle or somebody say that you buy them some protein powder. You know, you say, Hey, this is, this is a protein powder. They're not going to know where to go or how to buy it. Or they're going to try to buy some Kirkland brand, something or other, and it probably won't taste very good and they'll have a bad experience with it.

It might be all clumpy and whatever. You can just solve that problem for them right there. Or they could say, I have a crazy sweet tooth. I just can't go to bed without eating junk. And you could buy them some quest hero bars, or maybe they are in love with pizza and you can buy them some quest pizzas or there's, there's like carbless you can buy them some quest pizzas or there's

there's like carbless pizza for keto people out there now there's there's all kinds of different uh different things that you could be thoughtful and buy something for somebody that gives them some leverage towards the goal that they might have absolutely i think that that that that's huge so yeah that could be an answer for you there, man. A big answer for you there. Yeah. I was going to ask, do you think, um, this is what I was thinking the other day. Cause I'm, I'm still reading the Steven Kotler book, um, art of impossible. I almost put it in the bookshelf, but I didn't want to, I feel like when you put a book in a bookshelf, it kind of goes there to die. Cause you'll never, you'll never actually pull it back out. Cause it's put away and it's out of sight out of mind because that's dependent

on individual yeah yeah no but so i was gonna ask you i'm pretty sure because i mean you have way more books than me but um yeah like what do you think because like that person that you gave it to just be like hey just leave this on your table don't put it in the bookshelf that's a good no that's a great idea because then it they have to walk by it. They have to walk by it. Yeah. I think, yeah. No, if you can do that too, tell that to them. Yeah. The thing is, I have books that I purchased. I read like three chapters. I'm like, I'm not feeling it.

And then like a year later, I went back and I finished it. That's just me. If I have a book, I might go through it and it might start boring me. And I don't mind stopping reading a book through it if I'm not enjoying it. Stopping listening to an audio book if I'm just not feeling it at the time. But the reason why I actually got it is because there's a lot of stuff in there that I'm going to probably want to get to. So all the books that I have, like I always end up coming back to them. But I think that is huge. I'm going to start doing that. I'm just like, Hey, leave this on your desk, please. So

you just have to look at it. Yeah. I think, is a great book like there's so there's so many options when it comes to books but what are we constantly talking about on this show habits all the time it's pretty much just habits i think um simon cynic i believe his name is he's the guy that he gets up and uh he's great, great presenter. He's really popular and people love his talks, but he gets up and he's like, it's kind of, he's like, I gotta admit, it's kind of dumb that I have a job. You know, he's like, I feel like I shouldn't have to say a lot of these things and the stuff that he, he talks about habits and he talks about a lot of these things and he's like, it's like, I really shouldn't be employed, especially, you know, after I've, I've given these speeches and given these messages before.

And I would say the same thing with like, I mean, how many books are there on habits and how many books are there? It's because we can't stop hearing it. Like we need a lot of reassurance. We need to hear it a lot. We need to hear it often. We need to hear it said from different people, communicated in different ways. And what you said was really on the mark is that there's going to be periods in your life where it just doesn't make any sense to you. It's

just gibberish. You ever dive into something that's too heavy and the guy's using a lot of language where you're like, I just... Imagine listening to a jujitsu podcast you never did jujitsu i've done that and they're talking about like a lock and a hold and you're like maybe in the beginning you can kind of visualize because they use the word guard and they say a couple things they say gi and you're like okay that registers and then they start talking about go ahead insert hold omoplata yeah no of course yeah no rubber guard like what the fuck yeah absolutely no clue you know what that's in reference to right and so it's uh well and even and even and even more interesting is like i can't even we talk about

interpretation a lot i can't even interpret that i don't i just it sounds it's not even a word it's just a sound but imagine if you uh called me a motherfucker in a different language right right like it i i don't have any uh previous history with that word i don't know what it means and so i would say hey that's great you know if you said it with a smile or something or or i just play it off as if i didn't hear it or something because i just not registering to me so yeah it it's it's it's always there's always kind of a choice there's always an opportunity to kind of like think about what you heard and and give it an opportunity to register and sometimes it might not even make sense to you because at certain points in our life, we're not prepared to somebody going to church. You know, you might be like, Hey man, like I know you've been down in the dumps and things are not going your way.

Maybe you want to go to church with me. Maybe the person goes to church with you and it's transformative. And they go to church a couple of times a week, or maybe that person like leaves halfway through, you know, halfway through the service because they're just like, yeah, it's not, this is not for me. And you had all the good intentions of trying to make that thing,

make that, you know, work for them. But sometimes we're just not ready to hear certain information. Yeah. Sometimes we're not ready to hear certain age for certain information. And sometimes we're just not ready to look at certain things about ourselves. Um, in terms of what you were mentioning about habits though, like the self-authoring thing has you

delve into that too, like specifically certain good habits that you may have and how they work for you and then bad habits that you may have and how they work for you. Like that's huge. If we can, if we can identify those things and if we can actually identify them as bad habits, then we can actually make a change. But we just go on an autopilot. We're not going to make any type of change there. I think that's huge to point out that you have like,

I don't know, five or 10 habits that are, I mean, people probably have way more good habits than they really even understand. There's probably a lot of things that they do every day, I mean, people probably have way more good habits than they really even understand. There's probably a lot of things that they do every day. I mean, there's, I mean, even just like brushing your teeth, it's a habit, right? You don't have to brush your teeth. You can choose not to.

It doesn't seem like it's, it just seems like it's so simple that it doesn't make any sense not to. So why wouldn't you just do it? But what are some other things in your life that you can make so simple that are comparable to brushing your teeth? I know some people have kind of instituted certain things that cue them throughout the day to do some type of exercise. Maybe when you are about to brush your teeth,

maybe you do some pushups, you know, it's like twice a day. Maybe you're like, I don't know. I'm going to see if I can do 10 pushups maybe you do some pushups. It's like twice a day. Maybe you're like, I don't know. I'm going to see if I can do 10 pushups. And then you start doing 10 pushups at night, 10 pushups in the morning. You repeat, start doing 15, and you start doing more and more. And over a period of time, you then have kind of built in a habit.

But people probably don't even realize, and I've said this before and it's kind of confusing to people. I think you're a hundred percent dedicated to everything that you're currently doing because you do it all the time. All, all your habits, right? Good or bad. Yeah. You know, good.

Like whether you, if you watch porn every night at 10 o'clock, that's, that takes work. You're dedicated to the habit. Yeah, man. 10 o'clock hey that's that takes work you're dedicated to the habit yeah man i was just having a conversation with a friend about this man um and because i'm open about i used to be addicted to ford when i was a teenager and like it's funny i was saying yeah i remember there were days i i beat that shit five times a day and then this other person they're like i i'll top you that i had a day i did nine we were just laughing about it dedication that takes work man you know how much energy is drained

when you do that five times don't use that word all you spent we just need to have that picture stand from the south part is his name stand from south You do that five times. Don't use that word. Spent. We just need to have that picture of Stan from South Park. Is his name Stan from South Park? When he's on his computer. Yeah, the whole thing. The whole screen is all covered. But what I was going to say, when you said it, I was thinking it.

It's like when someone, let's say you have a family you take care of kids you have a wife you have all this um and you're out of shape like what you're doing already or if you're a mother and you're doing this thing what you're doing already is very difficult like that is hard fitness compared to that isn't so it's just transferring kind of like how you go about what you're doing there and maybe just figuring out a way to fit the gym in and fit some health in it and make those things part of it. Because I like, when I look at what I do right now, as far as like fitness in the gym, and then I see like your pet, you're a dad of two and a business owner and your

father of two kids. And I'm just like, shit, what I do is easy. You know, I can't compare it to that. I cannot. So I feel like people that are like the real lives of people with like all of these other struggles that they deal with on a daily basis. Shoot. Fitness is a very small Hill.

If you really think about it. Yeah, it is. It's not, it's not that, I mean, it's tough to get into it, you know, but once you get into it, it's, it's not that much adjustment. I think a lot of times what holds people back from, from doing something is they're like, I'm not going to really do that until I can really dedicate myself to it.

Yeah. But I think in the case of, um, in particular, in the case of fitness, even if you're only able to get to the gym a couple of times a month, I think it's still a huge, a huge advantage. There's really, there's nothing I can really think of in terms of everything I've learned about fitness and strength training that would prevent you from gaining muscle, uh, from even just working out like four to six times a month. Like you could still gain, might not be the most optimal thing. It would be nice if you can get in there a little bit more than that.

Um, but even just getting in there once a week and doing a full body workout, shit, that's a, that's a start, you know? And I know in, in James Clear's book,

the atomic habits uh he talks a lot about like just convince yourself to go to the gym and then just do one thing but he even talked about like he had one guy who like just drove to the gym he didn't even go inside he just like went to the gym next day he's's like, I'm going to build up the courage to walk inside and I'm going to sign up. So two days in a row, he didn't actually even participate in any fitness, but he drove to the gym one day. Yeah.

And then the third day he's like, this is kind of ridiculous. Like I should just go in and I should, and he did the elliptical. Right. And then you make steps like, I'm going to do the elliptical for 20 minutes and I'm going to like, almost everybody knows a little something.

What's a little something that, you know, that you're not too scared to do. I'm going to do a couple curls and then I'm going to leave, you know, and you start to slowly build that habit over time. And eventually you get to a point where it feels too good not to do it. It feels so simple. It feels like brushing your teeth. You're like, this is simple. It doesn't really take up that much time. Your fitness could look like you driving to the gym and you spending two hours there, or it could look like you doing pushups and squats in your garage. I mean, or hitting a heavy bag. I mean, there's so many endless amounts of options. Yeah. And then just like,

like somewhat think about the future. Think about the ideal future of you building that habit, because I think this isn't at the top of my mind, but when I hear individuals like tell me about it, I'm just like, wow, I'm so happy that like I've, I've built this habit of health. Like when I hear people talk about they're young, my back hurts so much or my hips are in so much pain or like this hurts or I'm feeling like this. I'm just like, if you worked out, if you started like if you started building that habit a year from now, you wouldn't be complaining about any of that. And as you get older and older and older, you'll just get more bulletproof and more bulletproof and more bulletproof. Like we'll be saving money on doctor's visits. Like all of that is just, it's just not a problem and not an issue. And if you're there right now and you have some of those issues, imagine a year from

now, if you just started building that habit right now, imagine if those, those things went away or if they just got a little bit less problematic. And then two years ago, a little less problematic. And then maybe a few years down the road, you have barely any health problems. That's, that's a big deal. That's a huge deal. And I actually think fitness is, uh, it's a harder thing to like catch up on than, uh, than even success in like business.

Like I think some people, they are successful in business. They, they kind of lose their fitness side or they just never had one. Anthony Lally. Yeah. Yeah. And they get out of control with their body. But it's really rare to see. I mean, we've had a lot of guests on the show and like that's only one.

You know, we only have one example of that in particular, Joel Green, I think also mentioned something similar happening when he was pursuing business where he kind of fell apart and got out of shape. But it, I would say that the fitness side of things is, is actually kind of tougher. And a lot of people are, a lot of people are working towards both. Like people want to make money and they want to look good. Right. And they want to, they want to at least, they want to at least feel good about their,

about the body that they're in. Yeah. And just, I mean, you started jujitsu five years ago, basically four years ago, five years ago. Yeah.

Five years ago. And like, what's something that, you know, you pick that up five years ago and you're on your way you're really successful in it now and you're going to continue to have more success in it but it was just a matter of staying with it over over a period of time but i i would i would say that like having the body that you want for a lot of people and, and staying on top of that is,

it's a hard, it's a harder thing to do than just, than I think, than being successful in a career. I think it can be really, really, and everyone has a different body and different metabolism and so forth. And so it might be more challenging for this person than another person,

but to kind of do things the way that like Andy Frisella has done things where he built his business out big time and turned first form into a juggernaut, into a giant during that process, he got way out of shape and that's such an uphill battle to climb. My point here is that if he was just doing a little the whole time, it would have been a lot easier for him to make a good transformation, which luckily for him, he did make a good transformation.

He had the ability to, uh, you know, kind of turn the corner and, and to make himself into, into what he wants. But, uh,

he also still, I think is like fighting that old fat guy off because he's still not really built the way that he'd like to be. Cause he's got like extra skin and things of that nature. And so it's fucking tough, man, but find a way to build a habit of fitness. Some of the stuff we're talking about here today, find a way to investigate how you can have some better habits. What are some good habits you have in other areas? How can you have that kind of bleed into your fitness and to pick up something, cycling, running, climbing, jumping, something.

There gotta be something that you like to do, that you enjoy doing. Even starting out with rehabilitation exercises because your back sucks, that will help transform your body. You'll burn a fuck ton of calories doing some of the stuff that Andrew was doing today, some of the big three that Stuart McGill recommends and stuff. You'll be surprised and shocked about how, and just body, maybe transition from there into some body weight exercises. There's just so many options. Yeah. What you said about like it is easier to be successful in your career or whatever. Somebody's like, no, it's not. What happens? We'll just take the like working up the company ladder or corporate ladder like as an example.

Somebody who does that, they're usually not going to be absent. They're not going to miss a day of work, right? They show up every freaking day. They're consistent not going to be absent. They're not going to miss a day of work, right? They show up every freaking day. They're consistent with it. So when it comes to training, people have a hard time with that consistency. But you're kind of forced to at your job. And then, therefore, it kind of does become easier. Right.

But that's one way that I just looked at it right now. When you said that, I was like, is it though? I'm like, oh, wait, no. Like, if I still had my previous job i'd have more money that like you know from compared to when i left but yeah it would have been because i just i never missed a day of work you know i had to be there i had no choice yeah but as far as like in the gym oh fuck i would go you know weeks straight and then all of a sudden i'd hurt myself and be like ah i'm gonna take a week off and i come back and hurt myself like i like, ah, I'm going to take a week off. And I come back and hurt myself. Like, I'm going to take another couple of days off.

How much further ahead could you be? If I just chilled and kept going nonstop. Yeah. And, and then, you know, like you, you learn those things.

Like I've been injured in the past from stupid shit. I did. I learned from it and I moved forward from it. But I think that's, that's where you need to, you like, okay. At work,

you have a boss when it comes to your fitness though. You kind of have to be your own boss. Like you got to to, like, okay, at work, you have a boss. When it comes to your fitness, though, you kind of have to be your own boss. Like, you got to go, like what we've been talking about with the self-authoring thing, you got to play these things out in your head. Well, if I don't start this whole fitness thing right now, if I don't start really taking advantage

of my health right now, how's that going to fare for me a few years from now? Am I going to be okay? Like, in my family family diabetes was a thing diabetes took my grandfather uh diabetes is gonna take my uncle like his leg was amputated he's not not doing that well like that's a real thing so like when i was honestly when i was doing the whole like flexible dieting thing and i was eating a lot of carbohydrates even though i was in decent shape i was thinking about that i was like, is this really that good for me personally? Like for my long-term

health, maybe I should, that, that was one of the factors in me going lower carb. Cause I was thinking about like my familial long-term health benefit, like the benefits of it that would have for me. Like, I don't want to fucking get diabetes for any sort of, any sort of reason as I get older. Right. You got to think about that. Like, again, going back to this, you're not going to be young forever. It's not low. I'm young. I can not, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. People that are in their thirties always tell me like, I've heard like, oh, you're going to feel different when you're 30 or you're going to feel different when you're 40. Not if you start actually taking, taking care of yourself when you're young. Right.

Yeah. You, you will feel much. I feel like you'll feel amazing that like you feel pretty damn good right now. I feel awesome. Yeah. There's a couple of guys in the break room yesterday talking about how they can't like just go and do certain things.

And I was thinking I can kind of go and do all those things, you know, like to a certain extent, I mean, it would be a mistake for me just to go into an all out sprint. I just have not sprinted in a long time and I've probably hurt myself. I could probably like flex a little harder than, uh, what my body's used to. And I can probably blow out like a hamstring or a hip or, or something like that, you know? Um,

but other than that, I mean, I can go and do just about anything. I don't really need to warm up. I can go out for a run. Um, I can just start lifting. I don't need to like spend any time doing anything in particular. I can just start on the exercise. Um, I can't really do some of the stuff like when I was from, like when I was a little kid, you know, when I was a teenager or something like that, I don't feel that springy, but I'm feeling better all the time. So I'm kind of wondering like, what's possible? Like, how can I feel? Can I, can I be more mobile than I am right now? Like a hundred percent. Can I feel better than I feel right now? I think a hundred percent. I mean, I just started sleeping. I just started working on mobility, you know, like,

I feel like I'm just getting started and even from a business perspective with starting within you and starting Steak Shake and all this stuff that's going on kind of at the same time I feel like that the story is just

getting bigger just getting more amplified and in kind of talking about some of the stuff that we talked about today i don't know if anybody's ever seen the clip or i'm sure a lot of people have seen the clip of joe rogan talking about being the uh being the writer of your own story and writing your own story your own way you you you get to do that in life you get to you get to play the piano, you get to be a singer, you get to be a dancer, you get to be what, whatever that freaking thing is that you want to do, lifter, teacher,

father, whatever it is that you want to do, just even being a good friend to people. I mean, it doesn't always have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be a hard thing. Maybe you just want to be known for always being in a good mood, always being happy, always being a hard worker. I don't know, pick something and then go attack it with everything that you got and figure out a way to be recognized for it. Because I think in the end, I think that's a big part of what a lot of people are looking for. We're looking for some sort of, there's always some underlying like recognition thing. And we can say, oh, I don't really, you know,

that's like the right thing to say. Like, I'm humble. I don't want to, you know, I'm going to get my black belt and I'm going to win a championship, but no one needs a big, big, big deal about it. But it's, it's a big deal. You know, it's a, it's a big deal. To squat a thousand pounds is a big deal too. To start your own podcast is a big deal. You know, it's a, it's a big deal. The squat a thousand pounds is a big deal to, to start your own podcast.

It's a big deal. There's just any of these, they're all, it's to start your fitness journey. It's a big fucking deal. You know, have some pride in it and be excited about it. And,

and understand like, Hey, this is day one. This is going to be great. You know what? I wonder what day 15 is going to look like. I wonder what day 45 is going to look like. I wonder what day 45 is going to look like. The first two weeks might kind of suck or be kind of hard,

but it'll be over with before, you know, a month into it, you'll already see improvement. You'll already be less sore. You'll already be enjoying some of the gains from it in, in just a couple of weeks. Yep.

That's pretty fucking cool. It is. It is. in just a couple of weeks. That's pretty fucking cool. It is. It is. I think one thing that, last thing, oh, not the last thing, but the one thing I want to mention too,

it was from when, it came from what you were talking about, Andrew, when, you know, a person was saying, oh, you need to do this and you need to do this, right? And I read this book, how to win friends and influence people like when I was 21 or 22. And I think that's when I really got the hang of being able to communicate with compassion a little bit better because I have the tendency of being very blunt.

Like I had the tendency of being very blunt. Um, I had the tendency of being very blunt and it would come across as just like very just like crass and very. What am I looking for? Just very to the point. Well, your your family's from a different culture. That's how we speak. That's how my mother. When you talk about your mom, I get nervous.

I'm like, I'm in trouble for some. She's going to come in here and kick my ass i keep thinking because of when we took mushrooms she's just gonna she's just gonna have our numbers somehow i think she saw that episode i hope she doesn't see that it'd be a shame if somebody sent it to her stop oh god um oh god it's great that you're still like terrified ever in some way yeah oh man but um you know like you're being blunt yeah within within african culture uh it's it's not uncommon to just be like go do this you need to do this get this done that's just kind of it it's done with love but when it comes to like i guess communicating outside outside of that, that doesn't work so well. It doesn't. So I guess what you were talking about, I think, is when you're communicating with somebody about problems that they may have, even though you may have the answers or you may think you have the answers, let's say you don't have the answers, but you may think you have solutions, kind of relate with them, be compassionate about it and see if you can

both somehow lead there. Right. Don't just say, hey, you got to do this. Like maybe sometimes, maybe you have a homie, because I have a few homies in my life where we are very direct with each other. And that's great because we've known each other for a long time. We hold that type of respect for each other. If my boy says, hey, you got to do this. I'm like, I respect it. I'm gonna go,

I'm gonna go do that. I don't, that doesn't matter. But with outside of that, with people that I'm like maybe getting to know or people that I know need that type of communication, learn to be compassionate. That book, how to friends, when friends and influence people is great, but learn to, to communicate that way. Because, you know, uh know i would have thought in the past that i'm just i'm just this is just how i talk you know i'm just trying to be straightforward i'm trying to help you out but people don't always see it that way man people don't always see it that way so and then they'll use that as an excuse for kind of being a dick like sorry i'm just blunt i'm just blunt i'm just blunt that's how i like. Fuck that. I'll tell it like it is. Don't have to. Nah. It's like, okay, you can be blunt, but also not be an asshole.

Like, you know, that's not cool. Something I heard recently, and I think this is pretty great, but like in terms of being like hardwired and feeling like you're a particular type of person, you mentioned, you know, how there's these personality things that you can take and then you kind of get put into, people kind of put you into a box, they put you into a category. But I think what would be important to recognize is that just because you have certain personality traits doesn't mean that you're completely like married to that concept or idea. And that it doesn't mean that you can't think outside of that particular box that somebody, you know, somebody may have chucked you into. But for those people that think that they're hardwired to somebody, uh, you know, somebody may have chucked you into,

but for those people that think that they're hardwired to the point where, you know, they can't figure out, uh, a way to, to be dedicated to fitness because they think they're lazy. Um, uh, somebody thinks they're not a morning person. They think their only option is to work out in the morning that, you know, a good example of it is, it was brought up by a guy named Brett Hull. And Brett Hull said, he's like, if you think you're hardwired, he's like, imagine this analogy. He's like, when you're a baby, he's like, you're, for food, you're in search of a nipple. He's like, but at some point, you learn different modes to, you learn that you can have different, you know, you can adapt to eating different food as you're 5, 10, 20 years old.

And even though we're all looking for nipples. I was going to say. We're not looking for nipples for food necessarily. we're not looking for nipples for food necessarily and so the the human mind is is designed to to learn and to to recognize like okay that's that's no longer an option for me you know and so you might think that you're hardwired towards something because you really need it you know in the case of a baby like they physically need it that's what they're supposed to be nurtured with. And as you get, as you get older, you learn different ways. So you can kind of, you can move yourself away from anything. You can move yourself out of anything.

You can grow into something else. You can become more mature and recognize that there's other options for you with anything, just about anything. Thinking about those nipples. Hey, like I think we're still in search for the nipple. Let's go get some nipples. I'm such a kid. I'm such a child, bro. Oh my gosh. Oh, go ahead. No, I was just going to say that

I gotta just get this out there. Mark hates it when we do this but um markbellslingshot.com 21 off everything today 21 why 21 uh march into 2021 with 21 off today only the entire site is 21 off uh that's at markbellslingshot.com so if you're listening to this uh live right now on youtube after we go off air or i guess while you're listening to us uh you can head over to markbellslingshot.com get 21 off everything if you're listening to this not live then you missed out so it sucks to be you nerd but yeah one one one thing i want i do want to mention because you mentioned those personality test things and um i think like like you said the people take those tests and there's like big

communities and people like oh i'm an enfp estj what is the name of myers-briggs um i can't like i can't explain it as well as some people can, but the tests are, the tests are pretty detailed. And when you take the test and you read certain things, there are going to be a lot of things that you're going to be able to relate with. So because you're going to be able to relate with a lot of things, it's easy to just kind of say that is me and you put your identity into it. But it's really funny because when I took that test and I took it multiple times when I was like 21, I took multiple different tests, I would get ISFJ. That was the letters I got. And if you type that in, you'll see what an ISFJ is. And I took it multiple times again recently because I was like, I didn't think about it much but I took it again recently and on like ten different tests I got INTJ just totally different personality type and when I when I when I read that I was like what I did the first I'm like that's weird and I did it again on different on a different on different and I was like that's weird and then when I thought about I'm just like yeah you see

like if you're growing and if you're consistently doing new things and learning new things, your personality is going to change. The way you approach thing is going to change. The way you look at things is going to change. Right. So now that is what it says. My personality is, even though like when I read it, I can relate to a lot of things. But at the same time, it's like it changed. Right. Because I grew and I changed. So that's, that's what I want people to take away from all of this is like, you are not going to be the same person five years later, five years

after that. You don't want to be the same person. You want to evolve in some way. You want to adjust in some way that's going to be beneficial for you and the people around you your friends your family you want to continue changing so so like for those that are like you know that really into that because there's a big community of people that are into that type of stuff don't get stuck in it just don't don't don't let that dictate your decision making and the way you learn and all that stuff i think you have to be in a pretty good spot to, uh, to even know that you kind of need this and to receive some of this. Well, you know,

I think there might be some people that, you know, turn this off earlier. Just like, I'm not really going to, you know, what are they talking about? They're talking about some deep shit and what's going on here.

I thought these guys talked about their dicks all the time. Um, so yeah yeah yeah what's the problem with that um i just think that you know having an open mind towards it and exploring it it's worth doing you know whether you go to this website or whether you um just practice some of it on your own, just ask yourself some questions. What's the, you know,

what's the career you're in now? Do you enjoy being there? What's the career that you would like to ultimately do? What does it, what does an optimal day look like for you now? What would an optimal day look like for you in the future? You know, like if just,

it's so, it sounds so simple and so ridiculous to even write some certain things out. But like, if you desire to have children and at some point you will probably need to have like a mate or you will need to figure out a way to adopt or something. So you have to have, you know, what's in your head. Do you want, you want to adopt some kids or you, you know, these are all good things to sort out and know. And then you, you do meet somebody and you say, Hey, I'm, I, you know, you, you're with them for a while and you talk about kids and you say, I actually been thinking about that a lot from the time, you know, for a long time, I've been thinking about wanting to adopt. And now you have,

right. You have things that you can move forward on, you know, very quickly, or maybe that person is not into that and maybe they want to do stuff a different way, but at least you know yourself. And as you, as you know yourself more, it's going to be easier for you to figure out where you can kind of fit into this world and what you can make of yourself. You know, ultimately we're trying to work on continuing to get better and to make something of ourselves to where we can feel proud of what we do each and every day, feel fulfilled every day, feel good about ourselves every day. And it's very hard to do if you don't really know why these things, particular things keep getting in your way or why you continually are sad, mad or pissed off or depressed or whatever

it might be, if you don't know what the underlying reasons are, what's kind of underpinning the whole thing, it's just, it's always going to be there. It's always going to rev its ugly face every single time you run into an issue. So hopefully you found this to be useful. I had a great time with it. And what's the website? Selfauthoring.com.

There you go. Selfauthoring.com. There you go. Self-authoring.com. You, I think they have something where if you buy one for yourself, you might get one free so you can give it to somebody else. I think so. Right now it's a self-authoring suite two for one special. So it's 29,

29, 90. Um, and somebody was actually trying to give a code away in the, uh, the chat. Let's go. I love you guys. I love you guys. in the chat. Let's go. I know.

I love you guys. I love you guys. Good for you. It's great. Yeah. I don't know if it's going to work out, but we'll see. Okay. Yeah. And then, so James D, no, the Steak Shake is not 21% off because you can't buy it yet.

Yeah. Had to clear that one up. But yeah. Everything else on at MarkBellSlingShot.com is 21% off. And then also just got this email for St. Patrick's Day, St. Paddy's Day. So from, yeah, for one day at Piedmontese.com, 30% off with code LUCKY30. So that's even, that's better than our code. Fuck.

So that's tomorrow. So I guess, yeah, that's tomorrow, right? Sorry. I don't know what day it is. So if you did catch this on iTunes the day after, this would be available to you. But the 21% off MarkBellSlingShot.com, you are too late. But yeah. Take us on out of here, Andrew. I will.

So on top of all that, Element. DrinkElementy.com slash PowerProject. Links down in the description. Head over there right now pick up the free element recharge pack or the value bundle which is what we go with please make sure you follow the podcast at mark bells power project on instagram at mb power project on twitter my instagram twitter and clubhouse is at i am andrew z and sema where you at instagram twitter clubhouse ticky tacky i'm gonna start make some TikTok stuff, man. You would crush on TikTok.

I keep telling you. I'm going to start fucking with TikTok. TikTok, TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. And see me on Twitter, Mark. At Mark Smelly Bell. Strength is never weakness. Weakness is never strength. Catch you guys later.

Bye.