Mark Bell's Power Project - How To Always Be In CONTROL Of Your ANGER || MBPP Ep. 991

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

In  Episode 991, Mark Bell, Nsima Inyang, and Andrew Zaragoza talk about ways to control your anger and why you should be able to control it.   Official Power Project Website: https://powerproject.live Join The Power Project Discord: https://discord.gg/yYzthQX5qN Subscribe to the Power Project Clips Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UC5Df31rlDXm0EJAcKsq1SUw   Special perks for our listeners below! ➢ https://Peluva.com/PowerProject Code POWERPROJECT15 to save 15% off Peluva Shoes!   ➢https://drinkag1.com/powerproject Receive a year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 & 5 Travel Packs!   ➢ https://withinyoubrand.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save 15% off supplements!   ➢ https://markbellslingshot.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save 15% off all gear and apparel!   ➢ https://mindbullet.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save 15% off Mind Bullet!   ➢ https://goodlifeproteins.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save up to 25% off your Build a Box   ➢ https://hostagetape.com/powerproject to receive a year supply of Hostage Tape and Nose Strips for less than $1 a night!   ➢ https://thecoldplunge.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save $150!!   ➢ Enlarging Pumps (This really works): https://bit.ly/powerproject1 Pumps explained: https://youtu.be/qPG9JXjlhpM   ➢ https://www.vivobarefoot.com/us/powerproject to save 15% off Vivo Barefoot shoes!   ➢ https://vuori.com/powerproject to automatically save 20% off your first order at Vuori!   ➢ https://www.eightsleep.com/powerproject to automatically save $150 off the Pod Pro at 8 Sleep!   ➢ https://marekhealth.com/PowerProject to receive 10% off our Panel, Check Up Panel or any custom panel!   ➢ Piedmontese Beef: https://www.CPBeef.com/ Use Code POWER at checkout for 25% off your order plus FREE 2-Day Shipping on orders of $150   Follow Mark Bell's Power Project Podcast ➢ https://www.PowerProject.live ➢ https://lnk.to/PowerProjectPodcast ➢ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/markbellspowerproject   FOLLOW Mark Bell ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marksmellybell ➢https://www.tiktok.com/@marksmellybell ➢ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkBellSuperTraining ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/marksmellybell   Follow Nsima Inyang ➢ https://www.breakthebar.com/learn-more ➢YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/NsimaInyang ➢Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nsimainyang/?hl=en ➢TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nsimayinyang?lang=en   Follow Andrew Zaragoza on all platforms ➢ https://direct.me/iamandrewz   #PowerProject #Podcast #MarkBell #FitnessPodcast #markbellspowerproject

Sitting there and being angry, like how angry are you going to get? Anger hasn't been a big thing, but when I was younger, I definitely had more anger than I do now. And if I do get mad, I find myself kind of disappointed in myself that I'm even mad. Can you guys think back to a time where you used anger to fuel something? When I was powerlifting, I was using emotion, but I was really just trying to get hyped. Dude, you got to be doing more with your life than what you're doing right now. And like, so I was angry at myself for throwing away so many years. For men, especially communicating anger in an angry way.

People will perceive that as dangerous. Getting mad at a woman as a guy, you can't do that. When you see your kids like have like a total meltdown and freak out. Where do you think they learned it from? Sometimes your kid might be like, that is how i'm supposed to communicate my anger to somebody i'm not saying i work out every day because i'm angry but i think it does help me not be angry but if i did get mad and maybe i pushed him and he did pull out that gun still i'd be dead i'm laughing about over there i have a question for you guys um mark if you found out that until your 14th birthday, everyone was calling you Mark, but your birth certificate was like Daryl.

And you found out about that in your adulthood. How would you feel? Would you feel anything like that? You were technically Daryl for 15 years of your life, but everyone called you Mark and you were Mark to everybody. I don't really know. Yeah, I guess I would want to know. I would maybe want to know why. Like it would suck to not, like if I didn't know why,

I guess it would be kind of frustrating. Like if I didn't know why I thought my name was something different or who kept it from me or what the situation was. How about you, Andrew? What if your name was fucking Pablo? Hmm. Yeah, I don't know. Would you care?

I don't know. The only thing that I can even get somewhere close to that was like, you know, like when you start going to school and people start like, oh, this is Stephanie Marie. This is so-and-so, da-da-da. And I'm like, what's my middle name? I'm like, dude, I don't know my middle name. This is weird. And I remember I went home and I'm like, mom, what's my middle name? And she's like, you guys don't have middle names.

I'm like, none of us? I'm like, nope. I was like, why not? She's like, no, we just didn't want to bother. I'm like, cool, mom. But yeah, no, I don't have a middle name. And I thought that that was kind of like, huh, all right, no biggie, but whatever. Yeah.

No, I was at my mom's house. And I haven't seen my birth certificate in years, like a long ass time. And I was like, mom, I've never seen my birth certificate. Can I check it out? Because like I told you guys, I have like 10 names. And she pulled it out. And she's like, oh, yeah, actually, I have the other one too. I'm like, oh, no.

Like, my name is Robert? Yo, yo, my name before. So my name is actually Nseema Abasi Diantemek Enemi Usen Iyang. Now, my name, I went by Nseema all my life. My grandma named me Nseema. But my name before this was like quaymem quaymen yefok quaymen means bringer of peace right but the thing is that was my name until 2007 technically to the u.s government but everyone was calling me in sima i've never heard this aquaimem name before dude that is sick though no i like the name i have but i just find it funny because like my mom-

Can you go by both? No, I can't. But my mom technically changed my name to what everyone else was calling me in 2007. And I never knew she did that until like last weekend. I was like, mom, why didn't you tell me? Wait, so does that mean you're seven years older? Damn, I mean, you're the same age. I just found it so funny

that my birth certificate name was not my name for like the first 15 years of life the bringer of peace tying people up like a pretzel in his spare time I love her she's funny that's awesome I don't think I would be mad about it

but yeah it would be interesting I'd be like mad about it. But yeah, it'd be interesting. I'd be like, huh? Yeah. Why didn't you tell me? What did I know? Interesting. Yeah. Well, I've been kind of thinking on this topic for a little bit. And, you know, people on this show, people that have been listening to the show for a while, have probably heard me talk before about equanimity and just trying to have a balanced or even mind. I've been pretty calm, I guess, most of my life.

Anger hasn't been a big thing. But when I was younger, I definitely had more anger than I do now. Nowadays, I would say I can get frustrated with certain things and I can be in different moods. But it's really – it's pretty rare for me to get angry. And if I do get mad, I find myself kind of disappointed in myself that I'm even mad. So I'll get even more frustrated but I'll be more frustrated just because I got myself mad in the first place, whatever the hell it is or was that was bugging me. But most of the things in my life are progressed far enough along to where there's really not much frustration.

I feel like I've communicated with my wife enough over the years to where there's really not tension there. We know how to help each other out. We know how to like read the room and assist and kind of back off or, or communicate more. Like I think we've figured out that recipe pretty good, at least at this stage in our life. And even, and even when we started, we just,

my wife and I have like argued, I don't know, maybe like twice where it was like an argument where we were both sort of mad at each other. In terms of like yelling or anything like that, I can't even think of a situation where we yelled at each other. We don't do that. No like name-calling or anything, but just normal frustration that you may have in trying to communicate whatever the hell it is with somebody else. And I would say most of the time whenever I have gotten angry, just in general, it's like one of two things.

And I think the Jock willink uh saying of uh extreme ownership was something that was really helpful for me to hear um over the years but i would say that anger i could always trace it back to myself and then i could calm myself down easily once i recognize like hey you're probably being a little irrational. That's a moment, you know, you probably, you're probably mad for, you know, one of two reasons. And one reason I would get mad would be that I didn't really accurately communicate the way that I needed to. And that would lead to frustration because I would be like, well, why did this result in this? Like, why did this happen this way? So now I'm mad.

But I can look in the mirror and say, well, that's me. And that's being an employer and things like that over the years. There's a long laundry list of things that could have led to that. It could be who I selected to do the job. It could be the person that I hired. It could be my poor communication skills on what it was I was looking for. It could be my expectations for that. There's, like I said, there's a long list of things in there. And the other thing that would bug me or I would get angry over would be if I, my feelings got hurt from something. And I just – I really didn't know what the feeling was necessarily.

I wasn't – a lot of times when that happens to me, I'm not like, oh, I'm sad. Or while that really hurt, I'll just be like frustrated. And then I won't really even know what set me off or set me down that path. And then if I am to look at it a little deeper, a little further, it's like, oh yeah, you know what? Your skin isn't as thick as you thought. You're not completely indestructible on all these things. And somewhere along the lines, feelings just got muffled somewhere.

I want you guys to comment and chime in because this is, I'm curious, where do you guys think anger, like being angry and communicating in an angry way potentially, where do you think that that's useful or using anger? Where have you personally may have found use of it? I'm curious for everyone here. Comment that down below, but also Mark, Andrew, can you guys think back to a time where you used anger to fuel something to fuel

whether it's exercise to fuel any type of action because i mean you do see like a lot some people talk about using anger to like fuel them to get ready for a big lift um or they think sometimes people think about that before they fight but for for me personally, that doesn't help at all. Anger doesn't help in that way. But have you got – in the past, have you guys ever used anger or used it to fuel something? It gets used all the time. I think like in American sports, you kind of see the pep talk. You see the Ray Lewis or Steve Young or one of those guys hyping up a team.

or Steve Young or one of those guys hyping up a team and it appears by what they're communicating and by the actions of the players ramming their helmets together aggressively, it kind of seems like everyone's mad. Everyone's like, let's go get them. Let's kick their ass. Let's knock them out. They'll say all kinds of stuff.

They don't literally mean let's cause injury and permanent harm to the other team. But they basically just want to F them up in some way. They want to win, right? So I definitely have been on that side before. I played football for a long time and doing other sports where you're like, yeah, let's be like hyper-aggressive. But then in doing other sports, I recognized that it wasn't valuable, especially when I was boxing. All it really did is make me tired.

I would go against somebody. I would spar against somebody who was skilled. They were better than me, and the next round I'd be like, all right, let's come out and put a little more pressure on. Dude, you're getting your ass kicked. Kind of, you should be more aggressive, you know, get mad, you know, toughen up, get mad. And then I would get mad and like my form would be bad. And then 30 seconds into that second round, I'd be like,

I'm like, Holy shit. I'm really screwed at this point. So I think I have used anger. And then, of course, when it comes to powerlifting, I would get like hyped up for a lift. But I would say that over a period of time that when I was a kid, when I was a teenager and I was lifting, I would get hyped up for certain lifts or I might get hyped up for a workout. I might use some anger. might get hyped up for a workout and I might use some anger. Um, when I was powerlifting, uh, I was using emotion, but it was really just trying to get hyped, like hyper focused rather than like hyper aggression. Gotcha. Because I found that, especially as I got stronger, I was just less and less stable. The more like fired up I got, the more pre-workout I took, the crazier I got, um, on the inside and externally, the more the bar would

shake on bench press and squats and deadlifts and stuff. And so, and then on, especially on the deadlift where I wasn't as good on the deadlift as the other ones, if I got myself too emotional on that particular lift, I'd mess something up. Like I would just go to do the lift and I would be like 20% weaker. And I was like, what, what happened there? Like, that's really weird. I don't, it's because I, I, uh, I just like went into it in like a rage and tried to do the lift and I screwed something up like immediately.

Like my form fell apart right off the bat because I was focused, like trying so hard, you know? Yeah. Yeah, and I wasn't focused. Yeah. Yeah, you know like those, they've been going around a lot lately where it's like a dude gets broken up with or he gets dumped and it's like the origin story of like when he started lifting and stuff. So it's kind of similar but not too much. But like after I got divorced, I wasn't like angry at like my ex or I wasn't angry like at the divorce I was like I don't want to say

broken but like I was more upset at that whole situation and I was like angry at myself like you know I felt like you know I was like 26 or 27 and I'm like dude like I'm not in really good shape so like I was pretty like angry at myself and so like I use that as motivation but it didn't it it quickly turned into like whoa like I can do some cool stuff in here like look at me like I use that as motivation, but it didn't, it, it quickly turned into like, whoa, like I can do some cool stuff in here. Like, look at me, like I'm showing up every day in the morning with like the other guys I've been lifting for a long time and you know, really early. Um, so like, I guess it maybe kicked a little bit, but then like, I feel like if I had kept

going down that road, it would have gotten really bad. Like I would have been like the, you know, dark, like, uh, dark hoodie on every day, not talking to anybody like super emo and like, just mad at the world for no reason. Yeah. But that was not the case with me. Thank goodness. Um, so like, like I said, I think it helped me like get that initial, like, like, dude, you gotta be doing more with your life than what you're doing right now. And like,

so I was angry at myself for like like, kind of throwing away so many years. Being like, oh, dude, I'm so far behind. Like, we got to get going. And thankfully that, like I said, pushed me to actually start lifting and kind of start, like, making something of myself. And that's awesome. Like, being, you know, disappointed and angry at yourself for some of the actions you took. And that's like, okay, let's change that. It's not like you're fucking getting angry yeah no feel something you're about to do like you know i would never get angry before grappling with somebody because then i won't

be able to think clearly i couldn't imagine getting angry before some type of athletic competition because again you wouldn't be able to think clearly but i'm like i'm really trying to think about where where it really is useful. Like you can feel angry. There have been many situations where I felt angry or frustrated as you're saying. I would say it's probably fair to say all of us feel and go through anger daily almost, right? I mean, to some degree. To some degree.

To some sort of frustration. You spilt your shaker cup protein in your car. Yeah. Stupid stuff. Fuck. You know, it's like it's gone. It's here and there. But there's the thing, the thing that people got to be careful with.

And I've been attuned to this like forever just because like I'm big and black. And any man in general, too, you need to be careful about how you show your anger. Any man in general, too, you need to be careful about how you show your anger. Because, like, for men especially, communicating anger in an angry way, people will perceive that as dangerous. Yeah, being aggressive with it. Being aggressive with it. I mean, we talked about this before, but you've been around, like, maybe one of your boys gets angry and everyone kind of goes silent. Like, it's uncomfortable. Brian kind of mad.

Okay, brother. But also, the other thing is also like getting mad and angry at a woman. As a guy, you can't do that. If you ever do find yourself in that situation, you need to evaluate how you can fix that. Because, I mean, it's not okay for women to do that to men either. Ideally, you shouldn't be yelling and cursing or whatever and getting angry at an individual like that. But as a guy, you need to be extra careful because you have more physical presence and power. Could scare somebody. And if you're doing it in front of your children,

who knows how they're interpreting that. If you throw something or do something, who knows what they'll think of that over the years. We talked to countless professionals on the podcast about the importance of having strong feet. And chances are that wearing narrow toe box shoes has weakened your feet and your toes don't function the way they should. Sucks, bro. Yeah. That's why we've partnered with Paloova. And they're the first casual wide toe box five finger shoe, five-finger shoe that you can wear running, in the gym, literally anywhere.

But the benefit of these shoes is that as you stick your feet in and your little toesy-woesies start to get a little bit of spacey-waseys, your feet will start to function the way they should because your toes will slowly start to widen out and your feet will no longer be this blubby little cast that they probably are right now. Andrew, how can we get them? Yeah, time to spread them cheeks. I mean, toes. Head over to paluva.com slash powerproject. That's P-E-L-U-V-A dot com slash powerproject.

Now, check out, enter promo code powerproject15 to save 15% off. Again, that's at paluva.com slash powerproject. Links in the description, as well as the podcast show notes. They got tons of them. Check them out. Actually, for you guys who have kids, though, there are situations where you need to be angry or stern, correct? Like, how do you guys navigate that? Because it is necessary at times.

And you're talking about towards the kiddos. Talking about towards the kids. I don't have kids, so I'm just curious on what you guys. Yeah, I do think that it's important to be assertive. I do think it's important to be stern. I would say that I don't think that you have to be mad or angry, but I think it could be helpful to appear that way. It could be helpful to say, you know,

God damn, I told you not to do that or something. You didn't mean to cuss. You didn't mean to be like that aggressive. But in that moment, you just kind of flipped a switch just to show them that that's not an acceptable thing that you want to see them do, you know, whatever, especially if it's dangerous. And if it's dangerous, it might be more of a knee jerk reaction than, you know, running into the street or something like that. But even that, I don't really think it's extra helpful to necessarily be mad. I think it's important to say you have to be – so in the moment, yes, you might have a particular reaction. But later on, it's important.

I have always found it really important with my kids to – if my kids were mad or if they were frustrated or if they got in trouble, to talk to them when they were in a better state of mind. So as an example, a four-year-old kid, you go to open up the car and they unbuckle their seatbelt and they go flying and they run right into the street. You grab them and they're safe. Now they're crying because they know they did something bad. You grabbed them kind of aggressively. You didn't mean to like really grab them hard, but you felt like you had to.

And I don't think that's a great time to really explain, you know, at that moment, you might say you cannot run into the street. You go to your, you know, go to your room. You might have to do that. But I do think that later on, it's important to say, we've talked about, you know, there's cars coming down. There's people texting on their phone.

They're not paying attention. They could run you over and you'll be badly injured. And we can't, you know, we can't have that happen. Or however you got to explain it to them, that's dangerous. Yeah. And it's so, again, my son's two and it's like it's the communication is still like a tricky thing. You know, if I tell him like, Hey, there's cars in the street. He's just like,

you know, he just wants to jump off the curb or whatever. But there has been times where he'll notice like the, the, the body language and our reaction to the thing. So like, if he does start to run out, like we,

Whoa, like, no, you can't do that. Um, he will see the body language. He will see how we reacted. That's enough. You know, like if I grab him and then put them on the sidewalk and be like, you can't be running out

on the street. Like it's going to go over his head because he's two, but also he recognized like, Oh, like that was, that was a little bit different than like, you know, don't chase the dogs or whatever, you know, like it was, like I i said like the body language was there um but yeah overall like it's something i'm still learning dude like it's it's tricky because you do want to i personally would like to you know like hey dad said no like fuck that's not going in like we can't waver from that you know same thing with mom but you know what i mean like you know it's it just means a little bit like growing up when my dad said something i was like oh shit like that's final but what's hilarious is like if i try to be stern with him

he just looks at me and laughs you know because he's so little he just like doesn't give a fuck like he's just like whatever dude like i'm gonna go play street fighter now and you know that's it so yeah i'm trying to figure it out and and I definitely need to control, like, when it's, like, something, like, that just keeps getting repeated over and over and over, like, my anger towards him. Like, that needs to be way more controlled because, like, sometimes I'll just get frustrated and I'll just look at Stephanie and be like, dude, like, I need help. Like, I can't figure this shit out. Like, I don't want to be getting more angry at this when it's so, like, I guess I'll say elementary. You know, it's like we're like not even at the final boss yet and he's already kicking my butt you know what i mean so it's like i have lots to learn still both of my kids really sucked with like time

like you yeah i take forever quinn takes forever but even even beyond that i do too it's fucking yeah just wait till your kids i can waste so much time it's unbelievable i really love i really love wasting time it's my favorite thing to do yeah so like uh in regards to like what i was saying you know like i don't want to keep showing anger and being this because i saw a post and it was like oh when you see your kids know, like I don't want to keep showing anger and being this because I saw a post and it was like, oh, when you see your kids, like have like a total meltdown and freak out, it's like,

well, where do you think they learned it from? And I'm like, oh, I was like, golly, like, yeah, just shot right to the heart. And I'm like, they'll learn some of that stress from you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But the other thing I was going to say is that, um, I guess, I guess maybe, maybe it's all kids. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. they would like almost always cry like every time or they'd be upset or whatever um and then i had to like try to you know uh i don't know make some other like barter to figure out how to get them to the next thing like all right we'll go to the frozen yogurt place or so i don't know yeah it just makes it yeah like i just don't want to hear them uh complaining so much or whatever it is and i don't want to like yell at them because that because I've tried that before and that didn't really work

very well. So I'd have to give them a countdown. I like that. Like, Jake, we're going to leave in about 10 minutes. Okay, I see you're playing with your friend. He's got to go too. And then I'd have to say five minutes and then I'd say three more.

And then I would like, sometimes I would just, I don't know, give them like a two-minute warning a couple times in a row and extend it so that they kind of saw that you're allowing them to like hang out more and play more and stuff like that. That worked actually really well. It was just like annoying that I had to be that patient with them. I loved the, like when you cut them a deal,

when you're like, hey, we're not supposed to be here anymore, but you're having so much fun. I gave you an extra five minutes. Yeah. I'm definitely going to use that. Yeah. It's so funny. Nigerians are like a people that have volume to them.

So everything is at a higher volume. If I'm speaking to my mom on the phone like mom i can hear you or you my grandma like yeah everything is up here andrew yeah where are you dude my sister got all that she's loud but the the thing is is right, I'm not a yeller. I'm not a screamer. I didn't pick up those things from my mom or my grandma, right? But the tricky thing is like what is your kid going to pick up? Because I was with someone who her parents were yellers and her parents also did shit. They yelled at each other. So that was her preferred form of communication when she got frustrated,

yelling and cursing. But not everybody picks up on that. Not everybody will take that from their parents and think that's right. Right. So it's like, it is tough as a parent because like you're gambling with, with your actions. Cause sometimes your kid might not take that from you. Your kid might be like, ah, that's too much for me. Right. But sometimes your kid might be like, that is how I'm supposed to show somebody I love them that is how i'm supposed to communicate my anger to somebody and then they'll go and they'll replicate that with whoever they end up being with and then it's a fucking nightmare yeah it's tough it's almost like uh not walking on eggshells but like you could do like all the proper right things you would love for your son to do growing up you can do them 99 times in a row

and that hundredth time that you don't leave the door open or hold the door open for somebody and they're like all right fuck everybody i'm gonna do that then it's like no you know you lock in that one bad habit or whatever it may be yeah kind of seeing uh my wife you know who's just way different than me um she's not afraid to like be angry she's not afraid to show anger she does it all the time I mean let's just like an example we're trying to plan a trip somewhere and we book a couple flights and something happens where one of us doesn't have a ticket you know or something like that I mean she will call the airline and she'll like put her foot in their ass you know to because it is interesting because if i made that call i'm not getting anywhere because i don't even have i just don't even have that

there's a good point i would call and i would talk to them and they would be like yeah i'm sorry so the flight's booked and i'd be like okay and i see you later yeah and i'd be like are you sure like there's not like we're trying to all sit together or we're trying to book this flight. And it would be super convenient. Are you sure there's not any way? Like, I would push like once or twice. Yeah. I'd be like, nope.

It's, you know, but Andy would be like, no, we paid for this. We booked this. I have the I have the order number. You know, we did four people, not three people. And there's one missing. And, you know, she'll explain the whole thing and she'll remember who else she talked to or whatever but she's not like yelling at the person right no no she's not yelling but if she needs to she would because i've seen that before too so yeah if she does not afraid to if she feels that she needs to i i don't really feel like for me i i don't uh that's not really a way

i normally express myself so that would be really uncomfortable for me. Even disciplining my children was always super uncomfortable. I never liked that. Yeah, like I just, I don't dig that at all. When you say discipline, like what form? Just like talk? Just swat them on the butt or something, spank them for something that they did. Or, you know, you threw a toy at another kid.

I told you about that twice already. And know um i hated all that so i did it like a couple times to jake and i was like i'm not ever doing that again that's fuck that sucks just so nice yeah like hurt like hurt me like make me maybe sad i was like why am i why am i hitting him what the fuck yeah what's wrong with me? My animal? Oh, man. That's going to be tough. Why? What?

You got spanked. I got spanked. I'm going to feel the same way, though. Yeah. The second something's not perfect for him, I'm falling apart. I'm just like, oh, no. How can we change the world real quick and make this better for him? But there's times where

like um i don't know he throws like a like mark just said throws a toy like at you know his his sister and it's just like dude she was just like doing nothing watching tv he's like this is gonna be funny and it's just like whack it's like fuck bro like you can't do that or he'll just like and when he's too old to do that that's when you're like this is a problem. Now he's still young, so he can get away with some bullshit. Yeah, but that's my reaction, especially because he'll get frustrated, and he'll just start going on a slapping spree where he'll just get close to somebody and just be like, and we're trying to hug him, hold him, like, hey, it's okay. And he'll just be like, no, and he just starts whacking people.

And I'm like, I don't know where you got that. Like, I legit, like, who's, like, hey, it's okay. And he'll just be like, no. And he just starts whacking people. And I'm like, I don't know where you got that. Like, I legit, like, who's, like, cartoons? He likes the angry reaction. Maybe he's just like, ooh. Could be. But, like, when he does that to his mom and I'm just like, dude. What's wrong with that? You're going to have to learn a lesson.

Slapping woman? You can't be slapping. You just got to put them in. He learns early to put them in their place. This is very true. You know what? Yeah. Take it back. Learn how to make a sandwich. Yeah. Mommy, sandwich. Whack. you can't be slapping you just gotta put them he learns early to put them in their place this is very true you know what yeah take it back

learn how to make a sandwich yeah mommy sandwich whack I want it now Stephanie it's like man

he said that sentence pretty clear dog if I ever slapped my mother as a child I would have gotten beat that's what I mean

dude I'm just like pull the bamboo stick or the belt he's only two years old so he doesn't know but does he i think he's got pretty good aim that's the thing with that shit dog again i got spanked a bunch i did a lot of stupid shit as a kid and i know it i remember but i'm not traumatized from it at all you know what i mean but some kids are traumatized

from that shit right yeah i was got sp Right. Some kids got spanked. I was spanked. And again, I don't, I don't even know if my dad was like mad. I think it was, my mom would tell him the situation when he got home and he's probably more mad at her than anything else. Yeah.

He's like, it's probably the last thing he wants to do is like, all right, I got to discipline my kids. Like it's not super pumped about it after, you know, being at work for nine or 10 hours. She's like,

it's just the principle though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's wild. y'all want to check out this video we can do this sat guru talking about anger anger this anger needed to be effective has anybody seen my mouse where'd it go okay hold on new setup sorry oh there we go sorry okay soldiers don't show their anger how are they going to fight wars at the border if they shoot in anger they'll miss they'll waste the cartridges to shoot you must be in a very even balanced equanimous mind otherwise you cannot shoot you don't have to be angry to shoot if you're angry and shoot you are not a soldier you're a vandal so this is kind of interesting because some people might think that okay a soldier at war

you're going to go killing people there needs to be maybe a level of anger does have a good point you know if you're handling weapons in these situations i'm not a fucking soldier so this is you know but i'm assuming being a super angry soldier isn't really that helpful. Right. Yeah. I mean, I think anger can be positive in certain situations, but I think we conflate anger and aggression sometimes. There we go. Yes.

You know, and so like I would say like it's not even so much aggression, though, but like you need to execute, right? And so hopefully you can rely on your training uh but let's say you're a soldier that was thrown into something and you didn't have a lot like a crazy amount of training um it would be helpful if you were already by nature a little bit of an aggressive person i would imagine that you would have a little bit of an advantage in some cases just like you would have an advantage if you were more relaxed and more calm in other situations, but maybe not at war would, you know, maybe that's not the right

time and place for that. I mean, we all have friends that we've seen be aggressive in certain situations and you're like, that was a little extra, but it kind of worked. It was kind of needed in that moment for someone to step up and for someone to defend that other person. Like maybe you barely felt like you had time to react to what you just saw. And meanwhile, your buddy just came over and just smacked the shit out of this other person or whatever. It jumped right in. That's a good point though. In certain situations, maybe when it does come to dealing with people in those types, sometimes it is necessary to show a level of anger at the individual who's the perpetrator, right? Because you need to scare people sometimes. Sometimes you

can scare them by being super calm. Sometimes you can scare them by being a little bit more stern, you know? So there's another one. Power Project Family, we talk about beef and meat all the time on the podcast. That's why we partnered with Certified Piedmontese Beef. But did you know this? That 85% of all grass-fed, grass-finished beef in the United States is imported from other countries? 85%. Damn.

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shooting because of his personal enmity with somebody yes he's standing up for a nation he's not standing up for his personal anger or enmity with somebody so if you want to shoot straight you try and see they can take you to the range today you try and see if you want to shoot straight, you try and see. They can take you to the range today. You try and see. If you want to shoot, one thing that is necessary is you have to be balanced. Even if you have to, you know, even in a golf game, it's called shooting score. If you want to shoot straight, you got it. If you think about, you know, somebody that's really angry, sometimes when someone gets real angry, they get like shaky. And so like his point, maybe your aim is not going to be as good because you are so mad that you're now you're not you're not able to execute what you're supposed to execute.

Yeah. Like when kids get so upset, like they can't even breathe and talk. You know, one thing, though, I think it's it's something that is beneficial for all of us. Like I've always had sports, always had lifting. is beneficial for all of us. I've always had sports. I've always had lifting. So there have definitely been times where I have been really frustrated, been really angry, and it would feel nice to punch a wall or something,

but I have ways of exerting myself. I have ways of getting it out so that I can think much clearer. And for guys who don't have that or guys who don't have something like that, or people in general, not just men, but people in general who don't have the ability or don't have tools that allow them to just exercise some of that out, maybe that does then turn into I'm exercising that on you. Whether it be verbally, whether it be emotionally, whether it be physically, I'm exercising that out on you, you know? And be verbally, whether it be emotionally, whether it be physically, I'm exercising that out on you, you know? And that's, I think that's because I, I don't know, but I think if I didn't have all the tools I have as far as physicality and exercise and exerting myself, I think I'd be a much angrier individual, but that's why I work out every day. I mean,

I'm not saying I work out every day cause I'm angry, but I think it does help me not be angry. I think anger and frustration are things that are solvable, but maybe you can't figure out how to solve them. And so maybe you have to try to work them out. Maybe you have to try to get that energy out in some other way. in some other way. Yeah, I've always found that it's been helpful for me to rather than look at anger and frustration to kind of think about the situation that is quote unquote making me angry.

It's myself that's allowing myself to get angry because of the interpretation of it. But traffic, we'll say. Getting me mad now. The traffic could be uh you know like it could be more fascinating than frustrating you know you could just kind of look at things from a different perspective and say wow that's unusual or this is the same this is the same fucking uh friday that happens every time that the 80 gets backed up every Friday, right? Why the fuck was that funny?

Why did that hit you like it hit me? Because I'm just thinking like when I used to have to like clock in for work and shit and like showing up late for work all the time. It's like, fuck traffic again to have the directions. This is unusual. I'm going to get yelled at at work again. I'm going to get written up holy fuck but well the other funny part is the other funny part is it's probably not unusual we live in california and 80 freeways jammed quite a bit and you definitely know like friday at certain times that everything's gonna be you know super clogged up. But when you, if you think of something, uh, being like frustrating,

um, or being angry, it seems to like, you, you kind of put a period on the, on the sentence and you, you're not trying to look for answers. Um, you could say, shit, uh, sucks that there's all this traffic, but I'm going to take this extra time and extra opportunity to listen to another podcast. And then you could like, I actually don't mind sometimes being in traffic. I'm like, well, I get to listen to more stuff. I get a little bit more time with myself and I like listening to these podcasts. I hate being in traffic. I mean, I don't know who really enjoys it. It can be, it can be annoying, but you can start to shift your perspective on it and sitting there and being angry, be annoying, but you can start to shift your perspective on it and

sitting there and being angry, like how angry are you going to get? You know, I always use this example too. Somebody cuts you off, you know, someone cuts you off, you beep the horn, maybe the guy slows down, gives you the finger. How angry are you going to get you know there's some people that want to fight that guy point to the side of the road and like you know now have a duel with the guy you know have a fight um which is crazy it's crazy to to drive and to be angry while you're driving you know this uh you know i don't,000 pound vehicle and you're trying to drive fast and pretend you're swerving it into the person or whatever crazy moves people start to do. Slam the brakes on when the guy's behind you.

Some people really be that mad though. Oh yeah. They'll get that. They'll get that mad. And I think it's easy if you see it from somebody else to be like, oh my God, that's dumb. Like that's foolish. I can't believe someone's that mad. But sometimes certain situations you might get yourself a lot madder

than you ever expected or ever thought. And I just think in those situations, it's like, what's reasonable? The person cuts you off. You're a little frustrated. You reacted. You beeped the horn. That sounds reasonable.

But to like follow the guy to his house you know and beat him up in his front lawn you know or like it just sounds that sounds crazy to me that sounds nuts yeah especially like i don't know like weapons and shit these days but what you were what you just said was exactly what i had written down right here because it's something you've said in the past but like how how angry are you going to get? And it's something that's helped me a lot. Um, cause something else you said, it's like usually not usually, but sometimes anger can come from when something doesn't meet your

expectations. So we'll just, okay. I left the house at 11 today and there's never traffic on five, you know? And then today there's hell of traffic. So it's like, Oh my gosh,

this didn't meet my expectations. This is an example this didn't actually happen um but yeah like if i sat there in traffic all upset like how mad am i gonna get like it's no matter how angry i get it's not gonna get me there faster like i can try searching google maps while i'm driving maybe cause an accident or something and make a bigger slowdown for everybody else in hopes that i'll find a different route but like it's probably not going to happen anyways but where it's been really helpful is like um at the house or something like the fridge goes out which you just experienced right it's like how mad are you going to get at that like in that moment like dude the fridge is supposed to be working like what the fuck like it works every day why is it not working and I got to

eat you know hot raw fish again you know it's like why is it not working and i gotta eat you know hot raw fish again you know it's like why is this happening again and i got sick like but i'm just joking so like how mad are you gonna get at that and you know again like letting the the anger kind of take over like it doesn't help anything so soldier need not be angry that's why i told you krishna chose to give the Gita in the battlefield. He's talking about equanimity, not anger. Because if you want to win the war, you must be stable. Angry people will get killed.

Please don't react to what I say, but consider this. Armed forces, especially those who are in active service, who everyday face situations, which is life and death in some way. I know Indian army is not so much so, but still it is there, but I've seen how the US army trains. They're training them to, come on, we'll do this to them, all kinds of vulgar words, and we're going to do this, we're going to do that. This is how we've been pepping up the armies. But I feel the elite forces everywhere in the world are not trained like that.

They are trained to be very, very equanimous, to be focused, to be meditative, to not react but respond according to the situation. This element should be brought into the forces in a big way at the fundamental basic training that you only respond, you don't react. This will make a world of difference in the way you operate, whether it's with your family or with the business outside or with the actual job that you're doing, wherever it is. Your essential nature of the human being is this, which no other animal is capable of, is we don't have to instinctively react.

We can respond consciously. This is where we can employ our intelligence. Otherwise, there is no room for intelligence. The only reason why we are dominating this world is because of our intelligence, not because of our physical strength. If we do not exercise what is strongest in us, then we are losing out big time. So, we must shift every human being, not just a soldier, every human being

from a state of compulsive reaction to your conscious response. This is my fundamental goal with every human being. If only human beings were consciously responding, they would do the best, isn't it? The best of their intelligence and capability. I think that's amazing and obviously really well said. He's a great speaker. Some people might be mad at our show right now because he talks a little slow. He was on 1.25. I was going to say you can always 1.2 him.

That was on 1.2. Wow. He's real deliberate. He can get slower if you guys want. He's real deliberate. don't have to text back right away if you if you just pause and you um you go and do uh whatever thing you were about to go do anyway go do that thing go to jujitsu um go on your run uh go go lift whatever it was you were going to do or even just go and take a shit or something you know give it a couple minutes and then look at it again.

And then say, oh, well, maybe my significant other, maybe they're not having a great day or maybe they're frustrated because I'm away. You can just look at it differently. If you look at it again, right, if you look at it more than once, if you pause on it, there's no rule that you have to be so reactionary. I like what he said. Respond rather than just react. pause on it there's no rule that you have to be so reactionary i like what he said respond rather than just react it's real easy to our people i mean it's it happens shut the fuck up right see you respond you're not getting mad you just left what why did we make you lose your train of thought

ah Why did we make you lose your train of thought? No, I think. You guys just get in a crazy argument. It's a good point. You can try to find out more. Like, why did that happen? You know, what has led to this? Most of the time. Oh, gosh.

Most of the time, people aren't trying to really, like, hurt you. Shoot on your nose a little bit. Most of the time, I don't trying to really like hurt you. Shoot on your nose a little bit. Most of the time, I don't think people are really trying to hurt you. I don't think people are really trying to – I'm going to send this text to completely ruin everybody's day. Occasionally, that might happen. Occasionally, there are situations in life where that happens. But for the most part, people aren't just out to naturally be mean to you so you have to kind of think about a little bit more and uh you can kind of look at

it like well maybe i'm actually being a little selfish like maybe this shouldn't bother me that much maybe this shouldn't inconvenience me so much to have somebody ask me this question it's not really that big of a hassle. Just calm down. It doesn't matter that much, right? You can, but if you don't pause, then you're probably just going to end up reacting all the time. Yeah. And I mean, many people can probably also relate to the idea of like, if, if somebody, whether it's a significant other or whatever, if they do start to get quite angry, if they do start to yell, what good ever happens when you fight fire with fire? You know, like if you start to bring yourself up to that level where now you're yelling and screaming or whatever, usually things

just don't end that great where both people are doing that. So it's like, it's something to be careful with if you are in a situation where, let's say, somebody does, that is their tendency. It's worse for you if now, because you're having to deal with somebody who's angry, if now you have to get angry to deal with an angry person, right? And I'm happy that's something does that, but it is trying to just keep your cool, keep calm. Sometimes that can piss somebody off, which isn't the intention because that's happened. That's happened many times in the past, right? Where you stay calm and that pisses them off,

but it's just never good to try to meet that fire with fire. It never helps anything out. And it's something that good to try to meet that fire with fire. It never helps anything out. And it's something that you may want to analyze if you're in a situation where that type of thing does happen. You know, I find it's really rough for people who are married. And that's the form of communication or the method of communication for both or one of the parties. It's just like, God damn, that is need help. Yeah, it is. It's like I'm curious how much of that, like what you're just explaining.

It has a lot to do with like not letting go of their ego. Also, I say that because my my ex was the I have to get the last word in person no matter what. And once I learned that, I was like all right i'm just gonna not stop i'm not gonna say shit what a stressful life and then that would be and then that would frustrate her because you don't have nothing to say to that and like well if i do you're just gonna keep going and i don't want to keep going but like i've seen her get in arguments with other people and when it was somebody else that's the same thing i'm just like hey neither one of you are gonna win and it's so funny that you want to win

you know like i thought that that was really interesting and this was me like didn't know winning right necessarily you know and it's like oh but one of them wants to get over on the other person and it's like whoa okay wait a second so just thinking about it right now it's like i wonder if like they just they couldn't let their ego go to just be like, all right, I'm going to not get the last word in. It's so weird, yeah. Do you have to care so much about everything too? Like do you have to have an opinion on everything? Somebody brings something up to you that you just learned about 10 minutes ago and now you're mad because you're Republican or you're Democrat or you are a particular religion.

But you never even really – you never gave yourself a lot of time to think about it. You're all of a sudden out of nowhere getting charged up about something you just found out a few minutes ago about. It's really – it's an interesting thing. And again, I think if you are to start to feel this way before you share your opinions with everybody else, before you text or post or whatever it is, maybe you just think about it for a little bit. You could still do it. You could still, you know, send that message or email or whatever it is.

But what if you just give it an hour, two hours, sleep on it, they say, which might be harder, but give it some time. Grandma always used to say, I'm not going to increase my blood pressure over these.

Yeah, exactly. It's like, she was talking about it. It's amazing. no, when you start to say, I'm not going to increase my blood pressure over this. Yeah, exactly. Right? She knew what she was talking about. It's amazing. No, when you start to, like, that shit kills people, especially as you get older, yo. Yeah. You need to be careful about how often you let yourself get riled up over things because if that becomes a habit and that's just like a mode of being, you know, like, I'd much rather just learn how to like live peaceful right you guys think there are some good strategies if uh somebody is kind of getting frustrated like

what are some things people can maybe what are some actionable things people can maybe do the first thing i think is like i think a lot of more people have been talking about the help of exercise when it comes to things like anxiety and depression. People are realizing how useful that is. I think that's extremely useful for if you have a tendency of becoming aggressive or angry at things. Because when you have the habit of whether it's running, whether it's lifting, whether it's using your body each day and exerting yourself, you're going to be a little bit calmer. I just know that for myself and so many people, you, you're not going to be as quick to react to things. So have habits during your day where you just allow yourself to exert yourself and have a habit of maybe if you feel

something right. And this actually happened the other day with my girl, right? When things happen, sometimes I'll get a little bit quiet and I'll be like, I need some time to think, but don't worry, we're good. Just give me some time to think. Because I just know in that moment, my response might not be the most thought out. And she understands that, oh, okay, cool. So he's going to think and then respond. And that's fine. we we know that communication i don't knee-jerk react to things anymore or i don't really knee-jerk react to things yeah so i think those are two good things somebody could try out yeah i would say uh the jocko willing extreme ownership that has helped me a lot especially like with like work-related stuff

where it's like i don't know like working with like a bigger team like here it's really cool because it's like just mainly like back and forth but like it's like oh why don't know, like working with like a bigger team. Like here it's really cool because it's like just mainly like back and forth. But like it's like, oh, why didn't that person do this or da, da, da, da. And then it's like, well, wait a second. Like what did I not do that like showed everybody that I really expected this to happen? You know, so like instead of blaming others, taking full ownership and understanding like, wait, no, like this is in part my fault also. And then changing that up to being like, this is 100% my fault because I didn't, you know, lay out the groundwork to have everything meet my expectations. Because again,

the expectations not being fulfilled is probably what, you know, made me upset in the past. So the, uh, that, that book is amazing by the way way, Extreme Ownership. Highly recommend it if you guys haven't dove in. It's really cool because someone like me who has a hard time staying really focused on a book, I love that book because it was just short stories followed by, or maybe it was the opposite, but it was techniques and stuff that you can use day to day followed by like a story that they use that technique it's really cool the Henner Gracie's 32 principles

for Jiu Jitsu is very similar where it's like he breaks down like a principle for Jiu Jitsu and how he applied it to life it's kind of like the same thing but anyway sorry so the Jocko book Extreme Ownership I think will help a lot of people especially in this topic, actually. So that's a highly recommended.

It's very intense, the origin of that story, too. He talks about how there's after combat, they have these debriefs. Yeah. They were going into this debriefing and I could be remembering some of this wrong. But I believe that, you know, he had detailed information about exactly what happened. I believe he had, unfortunately, had a soldier die. Maybe it was more than one. Somebody else was really badly injured, I believe.

And Jaco was the leader. I don't know what commanding officer, I guess you'd say. And he was going to go into this meeting with the rest of his team, and they were all going to communicate as they normally do. And he was going to say, you know, here's what happened, and here's what so-and-so did this, so-and-so did that, and it led to this. And just moments before going in, he had all his facts straight,

who shot this at what time who shot that how many rounds they shot what the action was who their enemy was exactly where there were the coordinates and everything and something just hit him right before he went in he was like fuck all that i'm not gonna even read any of this i'm just gonna go in and just speak from the heart i'm just gonna it's my team and so it's my, uh, they started talking and the commanding officer, uh, somebody that was above Jocko started speaking and said, uh, you know, hopefully today we can clear things up and figure out exactly what happened. So this doesn't happen to somebody else. And, uh, Jocko stands up and he, uh, starts to say, um, you know, there was a lot of errors

that were made on that day, but I take full responsibility. This is my group. And then the guy next to him stood up and said the same exact thing. The guy next to him stood up and said the same thing. The guy next to him. So they all basically stood up and took full responsibility for the whole thing. Because in the end, it didn't matter who's like,

we're just going to sit here and point the finger and we're going to be angry at somebody. Like somebody died. Somebody lost their life, you their life in this particular situation. And luckily for the rest of us, we're all a bunch of pussies and we're not fighting. We're not doing a lot of stuff. And the consequences are less. But what a great thing to do to take ownership and to say, you know what, I'm, I'm, I'm part of this mess. You know, I'm angry, I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm this or that. And this project didn't go the way that

we wanted to, you know, I got to admit that I'm part of it. And then also, why are you expecting other people around you to change? Why are you, why are you having an expectation on the person uh that sits next to you at work that all of a sudden out of nowhere they're going to be a 10 out of 10 on this on this project when normally you know that there is six and you feel like you might need to pick them up a little bit in certain areas um you know this you already you're – but you're anticipating being frustrated with them once again. And then you're mad. And it's interesting because you are – like again, the traffic. There's always traffic.

There's always traffic. Like I remember living in LA and people would use the LA traffic as an excuse. I'm like, it always takes an extra half an hour, an extra hour to go just about anywhere in Los Angeles. So the traffic isn't new. It's been there forever. It's not anything we have to calculate extra for. It should be already included because it happens every day. But meanwhile, people still get mad about it. This L.A. traffic is something else. Well, I'll tell you what. It's been like that for decades. TRT.

It's a popular topic. A lot of guys are hopping on it. It's something that we've talked about a lot. And you might think you're a candidate, but how would you know if you haven't got your blood work done and you don't know where your markers are? That's why we've partnered with Merrick Health owned by Derek from More Plates, More Dates. And the cool thing about Merrick is you'll get your blood work done and you'll also have a patient care coordinator that can help you analyze your blood work, analyze your testosterone, all these other markers to help you actually figure out if you're someone who needs TRT. Because there could be things that you could be doing nutritionally with supplements or even with your lifestyle that can boost your testosterone to the levels that they should actually be at. Andrew, how can they get their hands on it? Yes, that's over at MerrickHealth.com slash PowerProject. And at

checkout, enter promo code PowerProject to save 10% off the PowerProject panel, the checkup panel, or any individual lab that you select. Again, that's at MerrickHealth.com slash PowerProject, promo code PowerProject at checkout. Links in in the description as well as the podcast show notes you can all probably remember like an asshole boss that got angry quite a bit right i i remember some managers in my past i'm just like how it makes it's so much shocking sometimes suzy she was a co-worker she wouldn't get mad she would just cry for everything. It was frustrating. But it is interesting.

Like some people who get management positions, it's like they have power trips. Oh, yeah. And they treat people like shit. You know what I mean? But I don't know. If you all think, like, again, there may be some situations where it might be helpful to show extra aggression, right? to show extra aggression, right? But it doesn't seem that that should be a consistent or a thing that you have to access every single day.

Do you guys think there's a job where someone may have to get into that every single day? Well, maybe football players, right? The aggression aspect of football, I can understand. Anger, but aggression, like you're going to be tackling someone multiple times. Okay, but I don't see a reason why. I do think that if you're in an environment where there's anger and it's not like a professional sport where there's like aggression and it's kind of part of it, I think you got to try to figure out a way to do something else to try to get into some other type of job.

figure out a way to do something else to try to get into some other type of job maybe you can make a horizontal move or a you know maybe you can't climb the ladder the way that you thought in that particular building but you might have to you might have to take a step back it's going to make you feel better that's for sure um it's just longer, it just doesn't. I mean, there's really no reason for people to be mistreating one another. I remember being in the car with Chris Duffin years ago, and I was encouraging him to start to do his own business. This is, I don't know, 12 years ago, 10 years ago, something like that. And Chris just got this phone call. i could hear the other guy on the other line he had it on speakerphone and he was just getting talked to like very inappropriately

i was like holy shit and then he hung up the phone and i was like man i was like is that like that all the time and he said yeah it's pretty much almost every day. And he's like, I did kind of screw this thing up or whatever. And I was like, I was like, yeah, even if you did or you didn't, I mean, man, that's like, that's no way to be treated. And at the time, Chris was all time world record holder in squat. And he had a couple ideas for Kabuki strength and stuff like that. I don't know if he made any products at that point. He might have made like one or two things, might have made the shoulder rock or something like that at the time and i was like chris man i i admire you i think you're incredibly smart incredibly

talented i was like you hold an all-time you squatted more weight in this particular weight class than anybody in the history of the world she's got more weight than anybody that weighs 220 pounds in the history of lifting like that's huge i was like if you can figure that out i think you could figure out anything i was like you need to figure out a way out of this thing i know that you might need to continue this job for a period of time but i was like i was like i i said i'm not a person to really like fight. I'm not going to like swing on anybody or do anything wild. But I said, I would never, ever in my life, allow anyone to ever talk to me that way ever for any circumstances.

And I don't mean that I would punch the person. If they said that I just wouldn't deal with that person anymore. Maybe I would have to defend myself in a particular way, but that's not really my style. You know, there's a little aspect to that where I think like how much do you respect yourself? Because like I always reference past relationship, but I thought I respected myself. But maybe I didn't respect myself as much as I did if I was letting somebody as much as I needed to or as much as I thought I did because I've always thought that I do respect myself but letting somebody speak to you in a way

and just continuing to deal with that maybe I didn't respect myself as much as I did, me personally and I realize that and that's sad but if you're someone who you're dealing with somebody's just rampant anger consistently and you've been in that situation for a while sometimes it's hard to leave especially if you're

married and there's kids and all that type of shit but if you continue to deal with that you got to think like shit if would i want somebody that i cared about wanting to deal with this do i care about myself yeah you might have to communicate with someone about it you know yeah talk to somebody about it therapist a friend something you might you know and you probably don't want to probably don't want to say anything bad about the other person then also there's the fact that sometimes things do get reconciled and you might still want to be with the person and then so there's that whole strange thing of now everyone

hates your girlfriend right because you had to divulge something to some peep to some friends and like I don't know why they're together and she's a bitch and it's like it's just yeah I always thought you know now that I have my son, but like, so

what I'm saying is like, I talk about like what your kids see more than I did in the past, but like, you know, if it was in a weird way, my son seen me in my previous marriage, I would hope that he would grow up to not be in the same type of marriage versus now where it's like, yeah, dude, definitely. So you can, you know, kind of the same thing. Like if, I don't know, like if somebody's kids listening or hearing them complain about someone, you know, treating them bad at work or whatever, it's kind of the same thing. It's like, well, how much do you respect yourself and how much do you want your image you know portrayed to your kids that way too you know like there's a lot going on and like again i know i talk about my son and kids a lot now but it's like dude they see everything and they soak it all up

and they mirror everything so if you're in a weird relationship there's a good chance that they'll be in one too yeah the football game every sunday Sunday makes you mad. Now your son thinks that's normal. He's going to be so pissed if his team loses. Yeah, I talk about it all the time. But like, you know, so my sister was. Sounds crazy, right? Yeah, my sister's like seven or eight years older than me. So it's like I had like another like mom in the house.

Like she's like a lot older than me. I remember growing up like her and her boyfriend used to argue all the time and i thought that that was normal and so i'm just like okay that's what people that's what happens like relationships are hard and then so in my relationship was hard i was like oh this is just part of it part of the game part of the game yeah how hard is it supposed to be man when you find peace bro though like you and andy is a perfect example but when you find peace as a dude you're just like god i think from i think from both sides i think you know male and female probably think that uh that all men are crazy or all women are crazy, right? Probably just after a while, you're probably like, well, I got enough.

I got enough history stacked up to think that they're all nuts. But are you seeking crazy though? That's one thing I'd ask. Some people like crazy. Yeah. Maybe you are looking for a little disruption. Who the hell knows? See if you can play that clip from, I think we had one from Jordan Peterson.

Oh, yeah. Where he was saying that there was, didn't seem to mess it up again. God damn it. Also, guys, go to the Discord. I don't give a fuck if you're mad at me. What are you going to do, man? I think I aimed my anger at the wrong person. And I apologize.

I can't even, I can't keep a straight face when I talk like that, man. I wish I could. Your face is never straight. It's gay as fuck. Check out the discord guys. Check out the discord.

I'm sorry. His voice in this one is just extra Jordan Peterson. Okay. Is he crying? I know that neurophysiologically, I'm sorry, his voice in this one is just extra Jordan Peterson. Okay. Is he crying? I know that neurophysiologically, anger is a multidimensional emotion. It activates positive emotion systems and negative emotion systems simultaneously. You see this variation in people, you know. I mean, I know some people who are real fighters, let's say on the political front,

and some of them really enjoy a good scrap, right? It really seems to get them motivated. And this isn't a criticism of them necessarily. And then other people, and I think I fall more into this cap. I'm not really very interested at all in conflict. It bothers me a lot, although I don't like delayed conflict, so I'm likely to engage in it, you know, relatively upfront. And you could imagine that people are wired

differently as individuals so that for any given person, being angry might be associated with a predominance of approach motivation, right? Positive emotion and a relative decrement of negative emotion. For other people, that would be reversed would be reversed super interesting i mean here's a guy who's kind of untangled a lot of uh a lot of things that plague people uh psychologically and from a uh like a philosophy side of things he's untangled a lot of stuff with his words because he's extremely intelligent and he's been studying this stuff for a really long time um i found it really interesting that he said you know there's like a it's coming from a positive and negative emotion kind of simultaneously that kind of fascinates me because maybe maybe sometimes like being angry, like something might be urgent and maybe if anger is part of your history and it's like encoded into your body a little bit, which I think it might be for some people more so than others.

Maybe it's not always a horrible trait. I guess the one thing you would be hoping for is that your anger isn't like really just directed at a person. That it's maybe directed more at like a thing. A thing that you have to do or a thing that has to get done. Like I need to go get this done. I'm mad that I need to wake up at this time to go to the DMV or whatever it is to get my passport. So I can get on the plane on Saturday or whatever the case might be like, that might be kind of helpful to have the first reaction, uh, be that you're kind of mad.

But again, how mad are you going to get? How long are you going to be like mad? How long are you going to be in that state? How long are you going to be like angry to where people can't talk to you? How long are you going to be like angry to where people can't talk to you? Even when tragedy, even when a family incident, somebody gets really sick, somebody dies. How long are you going to be – it's not always anger, but how long are you going to be in this state for? Like how long are you going to be unavailable to everybody else? Like how long do we all have to wait around for you to get your shit together?

People die. It's unfortunate, but it happens, right? So when it comes to any emotion, I think we have to figure out ways to like compartmentalize them a little bit and to figure out ways to like, you maybe don't get over every single thing that always happens, but maybe you can still find ways to get around it, get through it, lift through it, run through it, jujitsu through it. Whatever way you can kind of like work some of these things out and maybe work out to get some of this angst and some of these things out of you so you're not aiming them at other people. I have a question for you. Now, you know, when your mom died and she passed away, when I would see you, it obviously affected you, but it didn't see, it didn't, it, it obviously affected you, but it didn't seem to affect you or it did

affect you, but not much around everybody else. As in you didn't let it affect how you were with other people. I mean, I, if I didn't know, I wouldn't know. Right. So obviously that like, that's something that everyone's going to go through at some point, but how did you, what was going through your mind when you were coming to work every single day at home with your kids who were also dealing with it with your wife? How are you handling that in that way? Yeah, I just don't feel like I have like a lot of time to sit around and be sappy. And I don't think that's what my mom taught me. You know, my mom didn't raise no bitch.

It's basically what I thought of the whole time is that that's a big part of, you know, who she was. And my mom didn't have a lot of confidence in herself, but she was strong enough to instill some confidence in me and my brothers. And so I've always been grateful for that. I was grateful for the time that I did have with her. And I had because I'm a mama's boy and my brothers were always making fun of me and teasing me. So I'd always go crying to my mama. Um, but I had a lot of extra time with her cause my brothers were older and I couldn't always do the things that they were doing. And so, um, yeah, when, you know, I've, I've had a lot of people, uh, uh over the years and it's been something that i've had to

deal with but just i mean it's it's a shitty thing but it's also sort of irrational to have i think it's irrational i guess everyone is entitled to mourn whatever way they need to mourn somebody's death. But like everyone's going to die. Everybody that you know, your family pet, everything and everyone that you know, everyone is going to die. And it's an unfortunate part of being alive that you're going to die. But when someone does die, I think about how they lived.

And I think more about what they, not necessarily like what they wanted, but the things that I learned from them, the positive traits that they have or had, there are things that I'm like, you know, I'll just try to carry that on within myself. And hopefully that gets passed on to other people, gets passed on to other family members and other, other friends and stuff. And then the other part of that is just having kids just makes you like, you know, you're just like, they respond and react to every single action and reaction that you have. And, you know, I cried cried about it obviously, but I don't think crying is, I don't think crying or being sad is, is, uh, it's not a bad emotion at all. I think it's very

normal. Um, I didn't cry until I told my kids and that made Quinn cry. And then I was just like, shoot me now. Seeing my little girl cry was, was not easy. Um, and so everyone's going to, you know, react to all these things in some different ways. But, um, I always think to myself, I'm like, I need to go and be me more than normal. Like rather than, rather than go the other direction, like, like I'm going to have some beers or I'm going to do something like that's like not that common for me. I'm going to have some beers or I'm going to do something like that's like not that common for me. I'm going to go and try to do a bunch of stuff that that I feel has been beneficial to me over the years. It's been things that have helped me be successful.

I'm going to be around some friends and it'd be nice to have very nice to be around a bunch of people that don't know much about it. Don't say much about it. You know, sometimes you have a thing or something going on in your life, an injury or something, and how's your leg? How's your leg? How's your leg? How's your leg? How's your leg?

How's your leg? Fuck up my leg, bro. Yeah. Hey, man. I'm so sorry about your mom. I'm so sorry about your mom. I'm so sorry about your mom. Those are all great.

It sucks when those things happen, and it's nice to have friends to give you a hug, to say hello. A lot of times, too, just having friends around, they're just around you. Your friend doesn't even need to say anything. And then all of a sudden, you start talking about it, and you start talking about, oh, we have this gathering coming up, and we're going to go to that. That's the grieving process. You start to kind of work it out, and maybe for you, maybe one way to work it out is to not talk about it. Everyone's a little different.

What else we got? We got one about Mike Tyson. Oh, yeah, we have our uh crazy mike tyson clip because he's been he's been like uh i don't know just high on mushrooms or what's going on he's tripping every day to life every day i'm a big fucking rap fan from way back when and and you know i mean i grew up in in the 80s when when rap really started to take off. Fucking Run DMC, LL Cool J, the Beastie Boys, the Fat Boys, Salt-N-Pepa. You give love a bad name. That's Bon Jovi.

He's having a hell of a time, Mike Tyson. Oh, my God, man. I wonder if you can find the other one where he's talking about KSI. I'll look for it. That would be amazing. His mind is just off in a different stratosphere. It's crazy. How you know what the cool thing is though.

Uh, he, since he's been working with Francis and Gano, there've been videos of still showing. Yeah. There's still videos of him him doing stuff with gloves on. And it's insane how that guy still moves. Yeah, he's still unbelievable.

He's still going up and down, changing levels, swift with it. That shit's just wild to me. He's so powerful and explosive. I don't know if this is it, but I think so. Give it a shot. Logan Paul is a businessman this kid's really making some big moves and ksi too those those those kids are making real money and doing their thing what's that KSI he's so fucking hot

he stuffs his face with like food he's like eating a bag of pretzels or something it's either weed or shrooms cause that's why

he's eating like that he's got something man that's funny that's hilarious I do have one more I'm not sure there's a guy that knows a little

something about anger yeah him and Dana White. For reals. Yeah. I don't remember what this one is, but I can play it. Oh, yeah. Anger is such a misunderstood emotion.

It's something in life that's vital in order to live. And it's destructive when we have it, if used in the wrong way. You know, if we couldn't feel our anger, then we would never know that anything's wrong. So if we can realize if somebody is angry, that is a signal we need to listen to. And we need to pay attention to it. We need to validate it because it means they're threatened or hurt or feeling powerless or feeling rejected or something's wrong. But we got to talk about the expression and say, it's the other person say, I really want

to hear what's wrong, but I need you to say it in a different way. You know, anger is such a listen. Yeah. I mean, we hear time and time again, you know, people channeling their anger, you know, towards a certain thing. Or again, I think if it's, I think if it's like at a thing, I think that's a reasonable, I think when your anger is aimed at a person for too long, maybe it's aimed at a person for a couple moments and then you communicate and you work it out and you get past it. But I would say for myself, I think some of the success I've had, I could look at it as if it was fueled by some anger of thinking that I was dumb when I was a kid, when I was in school and wasn't in the same classes as other kids and didn't maybe learn the exact same way. But when I look at it now,

I don't really feel the same way about it. But I guess I would say that it would be fair to say that at the time, I did feel like I had something to prove. I did feel like I wanted to show that I had more worth than I thought people thought about me, which they probably didn't even because people aren't really thinking about you nearly as much as you would think. It was my own kind of poor interpretation, my own thoughts about myself that ended up probably fueling some of that. about myself that uh ended up probably fueling some of that but yeah i could kind of look at some of that and say um some of that sparked a drive to you know wake up early and to um do all the shit that i did over the years journal and and all those various things to um but you know it i wouldn't it's like hard to really communicate in some in uh some ways because like being angry didn't necessarily like lead to like an invention it's not like every single day you were mad and angry while you're doing it yeah right right it's

just uh yeah some frustrations that i wasn't uh maybe where i wanted to be and wasn't who i was wasn't who i wanted to be uh and then it took me a really long time to work towards all that stuff and then by the time i got there which is the real fuckery of this whole thing by the time you get there you are like well shit i had all this stuff the entire time i was searching around for all these extra things i didn't really need any of it yeah it gets to be very weird gets to be very fight clubby yeah man nah it's i'm glad we had this conversation though he was like actually that reminded me of like you know even the tendency of just like not getting angry at a situation that did save my life because i remember

when i was it was in my early 20s when i was with an angry woman my angry ex who's late at night and she yelled at this car the guy came out he spit in our face he pulled a gun but throughout the whole situation even after he spit on the face i I wasn't mad. I was just saying, Hey, she's drunk. Her friend's drunk. Please. We're good.

Even after, but if I did get mad and maybe I pushed him and he did pull out that gun still, I'd be dead. So that's the type of thing. It's like, number one, you don't know the type of people you're dealing with,

but in these situations, instead of reacting, because the reaction was me just that would have it would have been a valid reaction when you get someone to spit in your face but i'd be dead i'd be dead right so it's like it's one of those things where it's just like be smart don't react respond make a difference what about when you're playing uh soccer do you get kind of angry and try to like you know go yeah when the other team's slide tackles are a little dirty and the sink always got my shit in trouble though or even being angry like uh that someone says that your

teammate is the best player on the team or things like that not not that but the first thing you mentioned i remember when I played soccer, I would be cool until, let's say, somebody did slide tackle someone on my teammate. I remember we had a game at Berkeley at Sac State, but it got me in trouble, is somebody slide tackled my teammate, and then I slid tackled his ass back.

He got injured. I got a red card. Now my team's playing a man down. But I was angry, right? I did that that out of anger i could have been much smarter but it wasn't a good tactic in every situation that that's ever happened i played soccer just never was ideal right so it's like it doesn't at least for me personally didn't serve me i may have felt oh yeah fuck that guy but at the end of the day i put my team in a worse situation. It's just not helpful.

Strength is never weakness. Weakness is never strength. Catch you guys later. Bye.