Mark Bell's Power Project - How To Be Grateful In 2020 ft. Nick Shaw | Power Bite

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Starting point is 00:01:01 Switching gears just a little bit. What can you tell me or tell us about your upcoming book yeah so uh this is something that um i've not really been working on a whole lot but i guess 2020 um you know it's kind of been a gut punch to everyone i think that's fair to say would you guys agree yeah yeah It's definitely been different, right? It has been different. So here's how my 2020 went.

Starting point is 00:01:32 January. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and then she had surgery in February. She started chemo in March. And then after that, you know, COVID hit quarantine hit. So she had to go to like all that stuff by herself. And, uh, we were, we were having to homeschool our kids, uh, which was like, you know, again,

Starting point is 00:01:51 like just, just the breast cancer probably would have been bad enough. And then you throw all this other stuff on. And it really made me like kind of step back and I'd been reading, formulating all these different things in my head, kind of, you know, read a bunch of different books over the last couple of years, whatever kind of had these like main ideas in my head it's like well what makes people more successful than others and it didn't matter if it was psychology it was business it was finance it was you know war military history whatever it was like i kept seeing these themes and they kind of overlapped and i was just keeping notes on them and they kind of overlapped and I was just keeping notes on them.

Starting point is 00:02:27 Then 2020 hit. I was like, boy, I gotta, I gotta really kind of change my mindset and approach to things. And it forced my hand, so to speak. And then I had to adjust on the fly and then I don't know, like a month into COVID or whatever, like we were in shelter in place, you know, cause my wife highly, um, immune compromised cause she's in chemo and whatever. So I was like, I think I gotta do something with this. Cause I had all these thoughts and I was applying them and like, we were making it through pretty well. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to sit down. I'm

Starting point is 00:02:59 literally not going anywhere for, for three months or four months, whatever. And I just sat down and just started writing. And it just kind of, you know you know again it's just like lifting right you just kind of go in one day and you just keep going you just keep showing up like that's half the battle so i kept doing that you know wrote it got 40 45 000 words like hey yeah i showed it to a couple people and i'm like am i crazy here or not they said i, I think you're, well, you are crazy, but you know, maybe not crazy in this regard. And I sent it to an editor and, you know, thank God for editors. They make people sound way smarter than, than, you know,

Starting point is 00:03:35 you look at my rough draft and it's like, sometimes the editor would ask me, he's like, what's this thought or tangent here? And I'm like, ignore that. Like how many sentences in a row can you go without any punctuation? You're like, I don't know. I'm trying to set a record. Yeah, totally. Six pages. You're like, that one run on sentence.

Starting point is 00:03:55 So again, that's, um, that's just kind of how it started. And, um, yeah, I'm just, it's going to come out probably in November. I'm just really excited because I think it's going to help people because so many people have been negatively impacted by 2020, by coronavirus, by everything, you know, economies and turmoil, all that stuff. I think if you're able to take the bad and somehow find some good of it and make good of it and all that, I think that's going to help a lot of people. So that's kind of like what was the inspiration for it? I suppose. Did you find it therapeutic? I did looking back. I mean, now I really love to talk about it because I think, you know,

Starting point is 00:04:37 we had a choice to make basically like we could have, we could have played the victim card and just be like, Hey, you know what? Like this just really sucks. And we could have kind of went down that downward spiral. But we didn't. And we sort of choose to, you know, do all the work required to, you know, get through chemo and all that and, you know, homeschool. And, again, like, we chose to make a lot of positive out of something that was bad. And, again, like, that is, I guess, you know, sort of therapeutic.

Starting point is 00:05:04 And sort of looking back i think it probably did help just you know not having anywhere to go and all that stuff i do have a home gym at uh at home so you know thank god i had my sanity through that but yeah definitely i think there's definitely some therapeutic stuff just getting all that out there and you know hopefully it'll help a lot of people you know the idea of the internal locus of control that you mentioned earlier um i'm kind of probably assuming that you you've had that mindset for a long long time as is like you've you you have control over certain things and you just control what you can and what you can't you kind of whatever right um but with 2020 it seems that even when individuals have had that mindset, it just seems that did happen, how did you,

Starting point is 00:06:06 I mean, I'm guessing maybe writing was something that kind of brought you back, but what else brought you back to that thought process? Yeah, I think everyone slips like it's super easy. No matter who you are. I mean, we could talk about us. We can talk about, you know, famous people. We could talk about politicians, whatever. I think everyone slips. And so I think that's maybe part of it is acknowledging that you know, my habits are going to be on point. You know, I'm like, I'm waking up a little bit earlier each day. You know, I'm reading more each day. I'm making sure I do some cardio each day. You know, I'm lifting and I'm like doing all these things. I kind of have this checklist, you know, on my phone and I'll make sure I'm checking them off every single day. So for me, I was just like, I refuse to sit back and sort of be a victim. Like that's not

Starting point is 00:07:04 going to happen. That's never going to be me. So it's like, what can I do? What can I, what can I actually control here? And again, you know, my wife had the same thing. She's probably a little bit more pessimistic mindsets in general. And again, like that was a big focus. Well, like now let's shift to a more positive mindset because if you are more positive you probably have more hopefulness that what you do that you can actually change your outcome and again i think that's big like no matter what your obstacles are whether it's fitness whether it's you know battling cancer or you know even business like i think there's just some sort of key universals that overlap on all that and that's kind of like what i found or stumbled upon and and that's kind of just like the main idea of the book.

Starting point is 00:07:47 Okay. Did you find it, uh, maybe helpful in a way to approach for you and your wife to approach cancer as, uh, as if to kind of say like, Hey, look, you know, a lot of people have had cancer before. Like, I'm sure the initial, you know, the initial blow of it is like nearly impossible to overcome. But once you kind of get the news and you're like, OK, well, here's the treatment plan. Let's go through with the treatment plan and let's just kind of take it day by day the best that we possibly can. Other people have been through this. Other people have survived it. It's not really necessarily helpful to be super sad about it, super upset about it.

Starting point is 00:08:27 And we should try to be even though it's hard to say and hard to do. It was that kind of the mindset going into it. Yeah, I think that's part of it. You have to take it one day at a time because it's so easy. If you look at the bigger picture to just be completely overwhelmed, like, oh, there's too much. But again, you just what's right in front of me what can i do right now what can i do today just boom do that let's just get through it one day at a time because again yeah it's like and again i wasn't the one going through it right so it's you know a little bit easier for me but yeah it's so easy to kind of get lost in that um

Starting point is 00:09:00 you know just because sometimes and i think this you know happened i think it's pretty normal thing but you sort of just start to wonder like why me like it's just not fair and that's a really slippery slope to go down because if you do again i just so the first time i went to chemo with my wife i remember i was sitting next to her and like you know my my mindset was i'm gonna be here for like four hours so i got like i got my food i got my snacks with me whatever but i also have books with me i'm like dude i'm gonna i'm gonna learn my ass off here like if this is the hand i'm dealt like i'm gonna make some good of it and the people that were sitting next to me it's like an older couple probably like i don't know 60s 70s maybes, maybe. And their approach, their mindset was all

Starting point is 00:09:45 they were doing was bickering and sort of fighting and complaining. And I thought to myself, boy, is that the route that we want to go? And I was like, no, what good could possibly come of that? You're just, you're going to kind of have that victim mentality and you're just going to sit back and sort of get depressed that this happened to you. Like, no, what can you do now? Like, what can you control? Let's do that. Let's knock it out. And I mean, knock on wood, you know, my wife's done with treatment now.

Starting point is 00:10:19 And, you know, as in a couple months ago now, I think it was August was her last treatment. So like, I think we're in the free and clear. Yeah. It's a, it's tough to have that mindset, but you know, kudos to you. That's amazing that I think it's interesting too, that you've been learning all this stuff, you know, and that sounds like it was helpful to your wife. Cause you mentioned that her mindset previously was just maybe a little bit more uh negative to begin with correct yeah she definitely

Starting point is 00:10:52 had the more you know if you have the optimism versus pessimism mindset she it was kind of like the the yin and yang i'm you know probably much more positive she. She calls herself a realist. Right. Which is helpful, right? Of course, it can't be all sunshine and rainbows. No, there are obstacles to overcome and all that. But just having the right approach and mindset, I think, is a really big help on that. Well, opposites attract, too, right? If you guys were the same, you would probably be like the couple that was bickering back and forth.

Starting point is 00:11:25 Maybe. Yeah, for sure. Sure. But like that, that just really stood out to me when I was sitting there and I just, I'll probably never forget it either. Cause it was just, I was like, okay, I know now what I, what I don't want to do. I think there's two different ways to look at it. Like maybe they're that way because they are older and they're like, you know, F like this is the shit's happening to me.

Starting point is 00:11:47 And this could be the end. Right. But another way to look at it is they could also say, hey, I'm grateful that I live this long. You know, it's awesome. I'm 60. I'm 70. I have grandkids or whatever it might be. And, you know, being around someone like Jason Kalipa and seeing his daughter go through and seeing that family go through what they went through, it was unbelievable. There was kids that

Starting point is 00:12:08 would get up and give a speech and like they would talk and they would talk from the heart and they weren't crying. They were pumped. They were happy. They would tell you like a cool story. They were like, I mean, maybe they didn't understand the weight of what was going on, but they would talk about dying. They would talk about like, you know, Hey, if I only have 30 days to live, this is how I want to live my life. And you're like, Holy shit. And there's not a dry eye in the room. Everyone's just gets, you know, completely devastated by hearing a child say that, but you're like, damn, if they can be strong and have that mindset, then maybe the rest of us should stop being a bunch of pussies.

Starting point is 00:12:45 100%. And I'm actually really glad that you brought that up. So one of the things, so if you read like a bunch of positive psychology stuff, I think one of the fundamental things is just being able to be grateful. And when you look at it from that approach again, it's like, Oh, you know, you could complain that, you know, all this stuff's happening. No, like I'm actually grateful that, you know, we're still here. You know, RP is doing well.

Starting point is 00:13:10 You know, again, like we're able like, you know, my kids are still here. Like we're able to have family dinner every night. Like when you approach it like that, all of a sudden your mind shifts, your mindset shifts and it's no longer, oh, what was me? You're like, okay, I'm here. Like, let's do this. I'm ready to go.

Mark Bell's Power Project - How To Be Grateful In 2020 ft. Nick Shaw | Power Bite

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