Mark Bell's Power Project - How To Date As A Man In The Age Of The Internet

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

In this supercut, Chris Williamson, Bedros Keuilian, Rollo Tomassi, Mark Bell, Nsima Inyang, and Andrew Zaragoza talk about   Check out the full episodes:   https://youtu.be/cFvb2I1zXCY   https://youtu.be/flWnk6qqbew   https://youtu.be/nkbqQ3c3kYE   https://youtu.be/fl5VV5ZBi-c   https://youtu.be/vgf-t8hsv5w   How To Date As A Man In The Age Of The Internet   New Power Project Website: https://powerproject.live Join The Power Project Discord: https://discord.gg/yYzthQX5qN Subscribe to the new Power Project Clips Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UC5Df31rlDXm0EJAcKsq1SUw   Special perks for our listeners below! ➢https://drinkag1.com/powerproject Recieve a year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 & 5 Travel Packs! ➢ https://withinyoubrand.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save 15% off supplements!   ➢ https://markbellslingshot.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save 15% off all gear and apparel!   ➢ https://mindbullet.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save 15% off Mind Bullet!   ➢ https://goodlifeproteins.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save up to 25% off your Build a Box   ➢ Better Fed Beef: https://betterfedbeef.com/pages/powerproject   ➢ https://hostagetape.com/powerproject Free shipping and free bedside tin!   ➢ https://thecoldplunge.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save $150!!   ➢ Enlarging Pumps (This really works): https://bit.ly/powerproject1 Pumps explained: https://youtu.be/qPG9JXjlhpM   ➢ https://www.vivobarefoot.com/us/powerproject to save 15% off Vivo Barefoot shoes!   ➢ https://vuoriclothing.com/powerproject to automatically save 20% off your first order at Vuori!   ➢ https://www.eightsleep.com/powerproject to automatically save $150 off the Pod Pro at 8 Sleep!   ➢ https://marekhealth.com Use code POWERPROJECT10 for 10% off ALL LABS at Marek Health! Also check out the Power Project Panel: https://marekhealth.com/powerproject Use code POWERPROJECT for $101 off!   ➢ Piedmontese Beef: https://www.piedmontese.com/ Use Code POWER at checkout for 25% off your order plus FREE 2-Day Shipping on orders of $150   Follow Mark Bell's Power Project Podcast ➢ https://www.PowerProject.live ➢ https://lnk.to/PowerProjectPodcast ➢ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/markbellspowerproject   FOLLOW Mark Bell ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marksmellybell ➢https://www.tiktok.com/@marksmellybell ➢ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkBellSuperTraining ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/marksmellybell   Follow Nsima Inyang ➢ https://www.breakthebar.com/learn-more ➢YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/NsimaInyang ➢Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nsimainyang/?hl=en ➢TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nsimayinyang?lang=en   Follow Andrew Zaragoza on all platforms ➢ https://direct.me/iamandrewz   #PowerProject #Podcast #MarkBell #FitnessPodcast #markbellspowerproject

A man will dig holes in his life through infidelity, stress, anxiety, pornography, drugs, alcohol, vape pens, all these things, all these vices that control you when you are oversexed. I fundamentally disagree with people that say, if you're vulnerable to those around you, they'll use it against you. How about opening up to a woman? These are highly trained PhD level researchers doing cutting edge evolutionary psychology research. For some red pill bro on the internet to go, Oh,

don't, don't ask a fish about how to fish, man. Dude, you're cool. Cool. There is a corner of the internet for you and I'm glad that you stay there. Different people have different types of traumas.

Those traumas that they may have had can potentially show themselves and the relationships that they have and the friendships they have. You know what I mean by the archetype of woman that you see on that podcast, correct? Do you get what I'm by the archetype of woman that you see on that podcast, correct? Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. Ratchet hoes. Essentially. I mean, let's call a spade a spade.

I mean, that's what they call themselves. Before you got Kevin as a therapist, did you ever view therapy in a negative light? Like, was it something that you looked down upon? Because, you know, you mentioned you sent 16 people over to Kevin. 27 people over to Kevin. So men in therapy seem to be like oil and water yeah yeah i didn't look at it as a negative like i didn't look down upon it i just was like this is so this is how dumb we are as men bro i was like oh that's for men who are really fucked up yeah well how much more fucked up can you get being molested by two older boys uh feeling unlovable broken shame rage confusion having the nastiest fucking sex life ever

like so nasty where i would go to the doctor and be like i fucked four chicks this morning and this things are all popped out around around my crotch like you got to give me medicine and he's like that's actually just from the waistband of your underwear cuz you've just been hot and sweaty and nasty all that's just yeah just wash yourself just chafing are you wearing a condom no it doesn't feel good with the condom like that's not like if that's not fucked up yet I'm like oh therapists are for fucked up people so I never looked down I'm like yeah I'm just not fucked up I'm normal uh-huh it's so easy to i'm guessing who's that dude who would eat eat boys uh jeffrey dommer oh yeah i'm guessing he's like i'm normal everything's fine like you like hamburger you

like steak i like i like eating humans why would i need help why would i need help and i think that's the problem like we don't see our own shit again the ego will shield and soothe so my ego was like no no no a therapist is for fucked up people, for hurt people, for broken people. I'm fine. I'm fine. So I did it. But thankfully that panic attack that I had, this is how funny the universe is. That panic attack that I had when I was 38, 10 years ago led me to the doctor because my wife's like, let's just have your heart tested. my wife's like, let's just have your heart tested. EKG test, stress test. Hey, your heart's fine, but you have stress, anxiety, dealing with all that shit. Yeah. Here's Xanax. Four days of Xanax, like I'm like drooling out of the side of my mouth. I got zero creativity. I called the doctor. I'm like, Hey man, at this point, my business is going to collapse if I just keep using Xanax because I have no urgency and desire to work. What's another way? But good news is I don't feel anxious for four days.

Like this is fantastic. All right. What's the alternative? Do you have another drug? He goes, no. Have you considered talk therapy? I was like, fuck, fuck. But because I love money, because money to me is a vehicle to meaning.

I get to help those charities. Like I said, Shriners, Toys for Tots, Compassion International. I was like, I need a lot of money. I want to give my family the fucking awesome life that we have. I want to make that even better. And I want to help these causes that make me feel good. So I reluctantly went and found a therapist. The first therapist I found was a woman.

She cried more than I did in the first fucking session. I was like, all right, one, I'm going to be honest with you guys. And this is all while I'm married and I did not fuck her. But I'm like, one, I want to fuck her. Because I'm fucked up. honest with you guys while I'm married and I did not fuck her but I'm like one I want to fuck her because I'm fucked up you understand that right so a woman who cries is like a fucking gazelle that's got a broken leg and the line is like

I'm not even hungry but I got to eat you did her mascara run though because like that one on the off chance my wife hears this, I'm not going to go into great detail about it, but I was like, alright, this is going to lead to very, very bad things. And like all types of weird fantasies

because it's her couch, her office. I get the power... You get it. Second therapist, I'm like, dude, go find a male therapist. He was probably in his late 30s, young and I can tell he was intimidated by me and I could wordsmith him because I'm pretty intelligent. I could wordsmith him and not talk about the stuff that he wanted me to talk about.

When I accidentally found Kevin, the third therapist, the first two sessions, I'm trying to make small talk and asking him, hey, what did you do? And he's like, oh, this weekend, me and the family, we went to the lake and motorboat. Oh, what kind of motorboat is it? And I'm like, if I can kill this hour, I can do this for a while. And even though I'm there to get help, I don't really want it because I don't want to talk about the things I don't want to talk about. And he's like, hey, Betos, we can talk about the boat that I have all day long, but that's not why you're paying me $175 an hour. How about you let me ask you some questions? Is that okay?

And I was like, well, fuck you. Fine. Ask away. And that's how it all began. And full disclosure, man, I'm a dude of routine. And so I was like, Kevin, I like coming here on Mondays after work. Mondays are my most stressful days, and I feel like if you're going to help me,

you're going to help me the most on Mondays. So I would come at 6 p.m. on a monday some mondays were just so busy at hq um you know growing a franchise that i was like kevin could i just pay and just sleep on your couch here for an hour like take a nap and we and he wouldn't let me just take a nap obviously but we'd have lighter conversation just about his hobbies my hobbies i learned that he plays a saxophone really awesome dude like i really love him and awesome awesome human i still see him once a month um because i went there every monday for six almost 16 months and then some mondays it was just such fucking hard like so many layers of your heart is just fucking pulled apart and you get to the fucking pain of the

ugliness and then you're walking out to your fucking truck and it feels like I'm walking through molasses. I don't know what else to describe good therapy other than days of walking through molasses. And then three days after the session, you're like, fuck, that's what happened to me.

Is it? That's that one time. That's, that's it. Like something he said on Monday, like boom, you know, Thursday it hit me. I got it. Right. And obviously you're not walking through molasses only to go said on Monday, like, boom, you know, Thursday, it hit me.

I got it. Right. And obviously you're not walking through molasses only to go back on Monday and find yourself in molasses again. But one molasses trip at a time led to that. And Kevin ultimately made me write a letter to myself, to my younger self. And he gave me the first sentence between the ages of four and six. While in Armenia, I was molested by two older boys. But today you're,

and then just that's the right. And I wrote nine pages to myself. It took me a couple of months to write it. I tried on my iPhone. Didn't work. Tried on paper. It didn't work. Laptop.

It didn't work. Finally, I said, Thanksgiving is coming and I will not sit at the Thanksgiving table. Again, I'm extremist. I give myself rules. I will not be at the Thanksgiving table. If I don'm extremist. I give myself rules. I will not be at the Thanksgiving table if I don't fucking write this letter to myself,

to my younger self. And so two days before Thanksgiving, I typed it all up sitting in my car close to a Starbucks so I could ride their wifi crying in my Tahoe. I was driving to Tahoe, just fucking crying on the keyboards, typing out to this young fucking kid what happened to him and who he is now and the impact that he's making now and i fucking hit send to kevin and it was just such a fucking relief and then we spent the next few months going line by line and unpacking nine pages that I wrote to this little boy, because what I didn't tell you is when Kevin asked me what happened to you as a little boy, I said, nothing happened to that little kid.

What happened to that little kid I've dealt with? He goes, can you say what happened to me? And I started crying. And this was kind of like month number one and working with him. And when you can't even say what happened to me, that's called disassociation, which is the first step in creating multiple personality. So I was this close to having a multiple personality disorder because of the trauma that had happened to me. Um, so it was a very healing experience and I feel like that has allowed me to speak openly about it. And I, I would have 10 years ago, I would have never thought that I'd be on stage, on TV, in front of a podcast like this and just talking about it.

But it's just a speed bump. It's just like if I talked about the time I tore my bicep. That's how it feels. And I want every man to know, every woman to know, every human to know that that is not your identity. That is not the story that has to get continued your book of life has so many more pages and you can take the pen back and start writing how the next chapter and the chapter after that and the chapter after that looks but that only happens when you begin to heal and healing does take a lot of work it's also important for people

understand you're nearly 40 years old i want to know about this with with uh as you've gotten older what i've found is that i've been able to become more vulnerable with my friendships with these two and with other male friends i have in my life because i know that in my mid-20s let's say i was in a relationship or something and shit would be going down shit would be horrible, Hey man, how's shit going with things are good. Right. And I've found that like over time, I don't know why I've become more comfortable being vulnerable. Maybe it's talking with y'all, but that has been so beneficial to my friendships, to my life overall. Um, and I just wish, I wish I was able to, I was comfortable enough being more

vulnerable in my twenties or mid twenties. When do you think, or what do you think has allowed you to become more vulnerable as a individual with your audience and also your friends and people in your life? Self-confidence, I think, and the belief that I'm not inherently flawed as a person. Lots of people, right? So the difference between your experience of yourself and your experience of everybody else is like a million to one in terms of resolution. Okay. So all that I know about you, even though we've spent the last day pretty much together and trained and been to sauna and all the rest of it, all that I've got to see is what you've done in terms of body language and what you've said right and all that that is is a squeezed rough resolution version of what you meant to say and all that that is is a selection of the things

that you thought that you could have said right but what you've got to experience is a million times a second all of the different vacillations between the promise you made yourself about breakfast this morning that you broke and that idea that you could have said but you didn't say accurately and the thought that you've forgotten about, all everything. And because of that, it leads us to believe that we are inherently more flawed than everybody else. Because from the outside looking in,

everybody else looks like they've got it together because they don't vacillate in the same sort of a way. It's like, no, no, no, no. Everybody is failing forward permanently. Everybody is chronically uncertain about the decisions that they make and all the rest of it and it takes time to realize i think that that's the way that people are designed and if you get more comfortable over time you can start to open up um i also think that the sort of machismo men don't have problems thing falls away pretty quickly because you're

like fuck dude who you kidding like and we've got great role models, people like Cam Haines, Goggins, who open up about brutal abuse and, you know, frankly, pretty embarrassing things. Goggins brought in the audio version of Never Finished, he brings his mum on for 45 minutes to hear her speak about how she was going to take her own life when he was 10 or 11 years old and the only reason that she didn't is because she knew that she would leave david and trueness jr with this tyrant of a father and he sits and listens to his mother talk about this and part way through he says mom do you want to have a break and she says no i'm going to keep going i was like fuck that's some goggins genetics in that you can see that she's got a dog in her as well and um you know

if you have a role model like that like who the fuck am i to say that i shouldn't be able to open up about being bullied as a kid in school you know like i wasn't locked in a furnace and whipped with a belt like goggins dad was like you you know, it's not, it's, it gives me bravery to go out and talk about stuff like that. So I think that's part of it. And just growing up, man, and realizing that life is richer when you open up to people. And I don't, I fundamentally disagree with people that say, um, if you're vulnerable to those around you, they'll use it against you. How about opening up to a woman? How do you feel about that? Just because the reason why I ask you that is, you know, red pill ideology, men who are talking about opening up to women on that end of

things, they believe that if you do that, well, your woman will see you as a week and she'll leave you. Never show your vulnerability to a woman is one of the rules. So I think that it's very dependent on the sort of woman that you get with and i think that if you are hypothetically living in a city let's say like miami where there are lots of supercars and lots of tequila and everybody wears red bottom lubes and they're all everyone's got a hundred grand rolex or whatever the kind of values that the women who are around those sorts of men will be looking for will not be conducive to you opening up. Conversely, relationships that are a little bit more balanced with a woman who is sufficiently growth-minded that she doesn't see vulnerability as a weakness but as a strength can be perceived in a different way this is not for me to say that maybe it's even more than 50 percent of women get turned off by vulnerability but it's not like 90

percent of women there is a huge cohort of women out there who want to be able to support a strong competent man in times when he is no longer able to be strong and competent. Think about it this way. Why is it that the high-powered lawyer CEO guy wants to be tied up and choked and spanked by his missus on a nighttime? The reason is that when you have polarity in a relationship, the push and pull, there's something exciting about that. No one, the wife typically, or else no one would do it for more than two times in the

relationship would break down doesn't look at the husband and think that he's less of a man because that's something that he wants what she sees is an additional level of commitment from him this isn't me like advocating it this isn't this isn't my secret by this isn't me like revealing my sexual preference here um the reason that it happens or you could reverse it like the boss bitch high powered ceo woman wanting that to be a sub when it comes to the bedroom the reason for that is because the polarity is exciting and interesting and i think that the same thing goes for you know i mean fucking goggins if david goggins widely regarded as one of the hardest men on the planet can open up about all of the stuff that's happened to him and yet still go out and crush whatever

challenge is put in front of him you go okay is he less of a man or more of a man for doing that um but yeah i don't get me wrong if you open up to the wrong woman they will not be able to accept they will see it as some sort of a flaw or a weakness. But, you know, some men don't have that either access to vulnerability or maybe some of them simply aren't vulnerable. You know, there are absolute just straight up testosterone-fueled mammoths out there who don't stop, who don't have that introspection, who don't have that self-concern. Dude, I've got a group of perfect women for you

and most of them might seem to be in Miami. But I don't know i i think if you are the kind of guy that is going to work incredibly hard and then have periods where you go fuck like i really don't know if this is worth it like this is today was hard today was tough you need to find a partner that's going to accept that if you don't have a partner like the girl that i'm, if I have a bad day or if I have a concern, she is happy to lean into that and be like beyond supportive. Like she will ask me questions. She will give me prompts. She will be, and I'm pretty sure that it's like, I'm probably as attractive, if not more attractive in those moments than I am when I'm out like crushing it on a podcast. How would somebody know if they're with the wrong person? Do you think?

Oh God. I mean, that's a big one. Yeah. What are some red flags that maybe you've experienced or seen? Cause I'm sure you get a lot of questions on relationships and stuff like that. Yeah. So, um, I think that you need to have fundamental value alignment. You know, for instance, if you and your partner fundamentally disagree on how to raise children. Or even to have a kid. I mean, fucking hell, yeah. I mean, that's very, very dangerous. Other things as well, though, like not to get political, but like your view of the world is actually pretty informed by your politics, right?

Like if your partner is super pro-life and you're super pro-choice, if you are incredibly pro-immigration and your partner is anti, if you're very pro-free speech and they're not, if they're pro-gun and you're not, like there's going to be some conflict in there because it's not just about that one issue. It's about what feeds into that belief right this isn't for me to say oh you need to have a sortative mating where you only date within your own political party but you need to have some shit in common right you need to have some common interests you need to be able to go and train together if you like training get a partner that you can train with because then you can actually enjoy the thing that you enjoy with them like that's that's a pretty good idea in terms of red flags.

I think the most important things to get right are, and this is for both guys and girls, is your partner psychologically stable. And what that means is after any incident that takes them off center in terms of their mood, how quickly do they return to baseline? And you want it to be within six to 12 hours at most. You want them to be able to deal with some stress, some disagreement, some argument or whatever it is. And within a not forever amount of time, get back to baseline. I have some friends for whom

them and their partners will have an argument and they're both blocked on every social media and every messaging app for like two weeks. And they're like, how many will you mail each other or do whatever it is? And you go, dude, that is, that is not my current relationship, babe. I love you. So that would be one, um, having a growth mindset would be another one. So somebody that is prepared to grow and can believe in change both for you, for themselves and in the relationship as well. We were talking in the sauna last night about the Michelangelo effect. So this is an effect whereby people in a relationship begin to form themselves into

a more and more optimized, idealized version of what their partner wants. So you could imagine become more and more attractive. Correct. Yes. Or open or appropriate for them, right? You, if you are committed, will begin to forge yourself into some sort of amalgamation of who you are truly and who your partner wants you to be and if your partner is well balanced and has a great perspective in the world they want you to be a better version of you they don't want you to be less you they want you to be more you and they can direct you in that way so having the growth mindset is super important the reason is that if you do encounter challenges so at the moment my relationship is long distance like we've been able to get past that because both of us believe that there are solutions that we can

work around like that's important right um the final one that i would probably say would be conscientiousness and that is because all of this whether it be the um growth mindset whether it be the psychological stability being conscientious allows you to sort of deploy grind and grit and motivation in an effective manner and it seems that this bears out in the data as well seth stevens davidowitz wrote a great book called don't trust your gut and he's a data scientist that applied it to he used big data to answer like 12 of life's biggest questions um what's the most attractive way for me to look um who should i marry uh what job should i take if i want to become a millionaire the quickest how do i become more lucky uh how do i raise a child to

have good outcomes in life all the way down and the interesting shit to do with dating was psychological stability growth mindset conscientiousness you have those big three pretty much everything else will get sorted out mark I'm kind of curious about this from you and it's kind of within this as far as like you in your relationship as it's been a long time you have been dating for for a minute but have you went on a date last night you with your wife she has you guys been in relationship for what a more than two decades now? Yeah. Have you always been comfortable being vulnerable with Andy, your wife?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think there was – yeah, I mean I – I don't know. I was like fully exposed like when we met. I didn't have anything. So there was like – I didn't have really a lot to be proud of other than like my – I guess like lifting and stuff like that. So I just – I didn't have a license. I didn't have a bank account. I didn't have a car. I didn't have a bank account. I didn't have a car. I just didn't have anything.

So there were, there was like a, I couldn't even like not be vulnerable. I needed a motherfucking ride, you know what I mean? Like, so yeah, I was, uh, I was just the way that I was. I, there wasn't like, uh, I couldn't sugarcoat or hide anything. I just, I didn't have, I didn't have much of my shit together. So that's a powerful foundation to build upon though, right? Because you've already preselected for the sort of woman that's going to be

prepared to grow with you. You know, like if you were to think how much do you have to beat the odds by to go from that guy to this guy, You know, every single day beating the odds financially, developmentally, psychologically uh and that is one of the beautiful things about relationships that last for a long time and that's one of the things that you don't get if you do have transient transactional

relationships that you cycle in and out of every couple of weeks if you're a guy that's just blowing through goals you're never going to actually be able to grow with any one girl. You're never going to be able to find someone that can make you better. Again, the Red Pill ideology would be, why the fuck would you want to be friends with a girl? Right? Like they don't basically bring anything to your life. And you know, there are some things... They're not really that funny. I'm glad that we got the racism in early, ahead of the sexism I really wanted to get that done first um if you there are certain things that women are very competent at that men aren't right

the the psychological insight their ability to use emotions is way way way better than men's now they can't throw for shit like they are really really bad at throwing um however I don't need them to throw I need them to use their emotional insight right like that they are really really bad at throwing um however i don't need them to throw i need them to use their emotional insight right like that they are really really good at that maybe you can find your boys and stitch them together in a good enough group where they can be a solution for that but i know i think that there's something beautiful about being able to grow with someone and again everything is up for grabs now you know the grand narratives that held previous relationships together, everything is up for debate. Should you stick together in a relationship forever or should you just be this sort of

polygynous, super turbo Chad man that, you know, just dominates Miami's nightlife scene? Like, you know, pick your route, Western man. Yeah. Do you know what your testosterone levels are at? How about your estrogen? How about your prolactin? How about your cholesterol? If the answer is, I don't know what they're at. Well, we've been talking about blood work for a long time now. That's why we've partnered with Merrick Health, a company owned by Derek from More Plates, More Dates. Now with Merrick, you can get yourself something called the Power Project Panel, which will give you 26 different labs that will help you understand what's going on underneath the hood. After that, you'll be able to be partnered with one of their patient care coordinators, which will give you

interventions that range from lifestyle supplements to potential hormonal health treatments that can help move you in the right direction. But it all starts with knowing on what's going on down here. So get your blood work done. And Andrew, how can they get it? Yes, we have two options for you guys. Head over to MerrickHealth.com slash PowerProject. That's M-A-R-R-E-K Health.com slash PowerProject. There you guys will see the PowerProject panel that Nsema was just talking about. And at checkout, enter promo code PowerProject to save $101 off of that panel. Now, if you want to custom select your own panel, you guys can use promo code PowerProject10 to save 10% off all labs. Again, that's at merrickhealth.com slash power project

links to them down in the description as well as the podcast show notes. I've been paying attention to your content. We were talking a little bit about this yesterday. A lot of your content is reaching men, young men, and it seems that your content is helping men to become better, but it is not at the expense of women. It is not making all women look a certain way. And I've gone down the red pill rabbit hole just to learn about it. And as we've mentioned, it's, it says women are like this and this is why, it's why you can't trust them. This is why you need to be careful. This is why you need to play the game. Like you mentioned, it's adversarial. So what do you think that men should be focusing on if their goal is to be in a good monogamous relationship? Because one thing I do notice is that a lot of the focus of this red pill ideology is on the lack of good from women and like the – where they're falling short as as far as relationships are concerned it's very easy

in the world of dating dynamics to point the finger at women and the reason for that is that hypergamy which is this tendency that women have to date up and across women on average want to date a man who is taller better educated and wealthier than they are right or at least as on all of those men don't have that the. They'll date what's called a cross and down, women will date a cross and up. Now, the thing is, it's very easy to point at the preferences of women and say, see, like this, you have no, do you remember Kevin Samuels? Do you remember that guy? Yeah. So Kevin Samuels sadly passed away halfway through last year and say what you want about him, Samuel's sadly passed away halfway through last year and say what you want about him the guy was a great communicator and he really did have style um he basically made a career out of live streaming

with girls and telling them that their uh perception of mate value was skewed it's like what would you want from your partner they would say I want him to be six foot one earn 200 grand a year and do this sort of a thing you You'd go, okay, like, can you cook? Can you clean? What's your dress size? Like, how many guys have you been with? Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And you'd say, look, you're skewed. Your hypergamy is showing, basically. And it's very easy to point that out. No one ever turns the finger around at men within the manosphere space and says, okay, so women's preferences for men that are better resourced, more statusful than they are. Men's preference is for women that are younger

than they are. No one ever turns it around and goes, guys, have you ever considered dating older? Well, no, like that's, you know, young, fertile women, like use them and use them and lose them. Like that's the way that you go. Okay. so what you're saying is that women need to readjust their biologically predisposed preference for men that have greater status and resources than them but your biological predisposition for women that are younger and more fertile than you that's locked in that shouldn't be changed but theirs should like that's that's an asymmetry and it's the exact same fucking conversation. So talking to men and teaching them that women are the enemy is not going to make for a good society as far as I'm concerned. And if the only way that you can raise men up, or if your belief is that the only way

that you can raise men up is by putting women down, that doesn't sound like a very noble, masculine thing to do. Like, how are you going to call yourself a real man by standing on the shoulders of women that you've mistreated that's not a particularly virtuous approach to life for me and this is why if you look at the conversations i have on the show about evolutionary psychology at least 50 of the researchers are women tons and tons and tons of the women in this space are fantastic researchers and they can give insights around women's mating preferences that men can't have. And for every single person on the internet that says, don't ask a fish about how to fish,

fuck off. Like you are not doing any of the research that these girls are, right? These are highly trained PhD and above that level researchers doing cutting-edge evolutionary psychology anthropology social sciences research and they are finding out stuff to do with mating preferences wrapping that in and folding it into an ancestral lifestyle and coming out with really really fucking interesting insights for some red pill bro on the internet to go oh don't don't ask a fish about how to fish man like dude you cool cool there is a corner of the internet for you and i'm glad that you stayed there basically yeah you were 38 when you started like i don't know i guess like find your groove and

start to i mean you must feel so much better the last 10 years oh dude i look better physically people tell me that i it just that i carry myself lighter like i'm not as dark and angry and bitter um and i really believe like there is weight to trauma there is emotional weight to trauma it's interesting because uh i think like for our own kids you know you're wanting them to like i think a lot of parents are wanting them like pick pick something to do like what is your son doing like are wanting them to like pick something to do. Like, what is your son doing? Like, is he going to college?

Is he doing this? Is he doing that? It takes a really long time to try to figure out how to become a man. And you're still probably in a long working process of still working on figuring that out, right? I'm a work in progress. You know that movie Catch Me If You Can? Yeah. Right?

It was great. And they were like, man, we understand how you faked forged the checks we understand how you even created a fake id and you sat on the cockpit you didn't fly the plane but you sat on the cockpit how did you how did you run a university class he goes i just had to be one chapter ahead of all the other students and that's how he ran a whole semester of university and gave tests and that is a very powerful thing because i just have to be one chapter ahead of all the men that I want to serve. So if I know my calling on this planet then is to serve men, I cannot stop doing the work. I have to put myself around good men. I have to keep digging.

If I sense pain now, I don't just let my ego shield and soothe and I turn towards it and then just jump at it because I know there's goodness on the other side of the molasses. If I have a question, I'll text, I'll text Kevin and he'll add it to his list of questions that he'll answer when I see him at the end of the month. Whereas before the old me would be like, I wonder if this is, you know, if I have this pattern in my relationship, ah, it doesn't matter, you know, make more money right and so i will always stay a chapter ahead of all men and i feel like i'm a work in progress and if i do my job right maybe just maybe i'll come to some level of self-actualization moments before i die when i'm 100 years old what about the people that met you before 38 is there a wake of people

that got chewed up and spit out by the old Bedros Koulian? Yeah. Yeah. And that's got to be painful too to try to, I don't know, reconcile or figure those things out. Did you have to go back to people and communicate? Every single one of them I did. And there's four really good dudes. One of them, my former business partner, Fit Body Boot Camp. We started Fit Body Boot Camp together. No one's made me laugh as hard as him.

My coffee, like in the sitcom, I would spit my coffee out. He would make me laugh so hard. He once sent me a video when the iPhone first came out. Um, we were, we launched Fit Body Boot Camp in 2010, became a franchise by 2011. He sent me a happy birthday video because of my birthday, but he had taken a Sharpie and painted eyes on the head of his cock. Yeah. And then he held the camera and he's squeezing the head of his cock so his pee hole is moving like a mouth. You guys picture this, right?

It's incredible. Yes. And it's moving like a mouth. It's like, hi, Bedros. I just want to wish you a happy birthday. You're a wonderful guy. God, we need friends like that. Yet, so sadly, like here we are laughing.

And it's like, I'm telling you, no one's made me laugh that hard. And that's just one of 10 things I can tell you about this guy. And we're family, friends, and all that. But I had so much fucking like, and our work ethics did not match. Full disclosure, our work ethics did not match match I'm a fucking Clydesdale of a workhorse where business is concerned like I'll put my fucking head down and work and him not so much he's a funny dude who just had a good idea called the fit body boot camp and so when we came to a fork in the road I spent a whole

year building this resentment against them until I finally sat him down and went off at him chewed him out and said one of us have to fucking go it's either you or me well he didn't have the money to buy me out I had businesses before that so I bought him out but that conversation today would have been different the first time he frustrated me I would have been like hey bro sit down you're funny but you're a horrible visionary. This is the lane that you're good at. Don't do that stuff anymore. And I say this with love.

That's how I show up today. And so there's four dudes who tell me to go fuck off, and they have every right to. I'm a bull in a china closet pre-'38, and that monster still me. Um, but that monster is now used for good for the most part. Uh, unless we're on an airplane, I got to choke a motherfucker out and I will. Yeah. There's something else I want to kind of rewind to in terms of your younger self. You taught, we got to kind of go about the sex stuff because when you were talking about that, there's a lot of really, really young guys in their early 20s who are like that sounds like heaven having sex with all these women

that sounds great and there's a community it's the red pill right i don't know if you've heard of it the whole red pill type of ideology but those men generally look at the ability for just men to sleep with multiple women as an ideal. Like even if you become a high value man, as they call it, meaning you, woman wants you, you have a high net worth, whatever at that point. Yeah. You can have a woman and a family, but since you're such a high value man and woman want you, you should be able to sleep with kind of as many women as you want, even though you have somebody at home. Now, it's just interesting how you were, you know, you did all the things that these men want to be able to do. And you were also rich at the time, right? But you now on the other side,

at 48 years old, you have a loving wife, a family, all that copious sex, at least from what it looks like, doesn't seem to be a focus of yours or something that you're seeking. But a lot of young men hearing the young you, they're like, I want that. So what would, how would you kind of like look at your life now and what would your message be to those guys? Because that's what a lot of guys are looking for. That's what a lot of guys want. So rather than sharing what my message would be, let me message Napoleon Hill and his conversation with the devil and outwitting the devil. Napoleon Hill's best book, written in 1938, published in 2011 because the book was so edgy that his estate was like every person in the Hill genealogy has to die before this book gets published. So while everyone thinks his other book, Think and Grow Rich, was his first book, it was actually Outwitting the Devil. It was so extreme.

He's literally having a conversation with the devil. And if you're going to read Outwitting the Devil, you should do yourself a favor and download the audio and listen to it. Because Napoleon and the devil's voice are very different. And you hear the bellowing voice of the devil. And I will tell you the truth. If only you address me as your highness, he goes, okay, your highness. So how do you control the thoughts of man? Well, and so there's a couple of times where he goes, so devil, he goes, I said, your highness. Oh, I'm sorry, your highness. And so it's just really like cool banter between Napoleon Hill and the devil. I'm getting goosebumps talking about it. I've read that book, listened to that book 19 times now.

The only other book I've listened to so much is The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell. But he talks about the drifter. He talks about the drifter. In life as men, we must either have definitiveness of purpose or we will drift through life trying to attach our belly button, our umbilical cord to everybody's belly button. So all these young men that are drifting through life and trying to attach their umbilical cord to the belly button of Andrew Tate and any other dude who. Nothing wrong with Andrew Tate.

I think he's a marketing fucking genius. He has so many brilliant things to say. However, the devil will tell you that the drifter drifts for these three reasons. Overconsumption of food. When we overconsume food our body is unable to he says process all that food and therefore it has to create poison and that poison has to show up in our comes out some of it as feces and urine but others it goes into our system this man is writing this in 1938 causes toxicity causes toxicity and shows up into your in your bile into your blood right and so fucking true like what we have studied today he predicted back

then over consumption of food over consumption of sex over consumption of sex because it will lose sex is a very powerful drawing thing however a man can get consumed by it so much that he will lose his focus on his definitiveness of purpose. And in the absence of purpose, a man will dig holes in his life, no different than a German shepherd will dig holes in your backyard when it doesn't have a routine, when it doesn't have a sense of purpose, and you're not playing catch with it every day at the same time. I've got a German shepherd. I know her name is Cookie. And so a man will dig holes in his life through infidelity, stress, anxiety, pornography, drugs, alcohol, vape pens, all these things, all these vices that control you when you are oversexed. Sex, just like a cocktail, you've got to have it as a reward and you

wouldn't just at least I would hope that you would just drink anything like I guess when I was younger I was drinking natty lights cuz they're cheap speaking of natty did you hear that Michael Hearn is all natural he's gonna be here tomorrow and talk to him that's right please let him know um but but today if i'm gonna have a cocktail man i'm gonna have i'm gonna have chopin vodka with like real fresh squeezed pineapple juice i'll have one cocktail maybe two if i'm feeling saucy and that's it that's it i'm not gonna wake up the hangover because it's fucking potato vodka it's like the good shit but i share that with you because over sexed and i know this from firsthand experience you just want

more and more of it because it creates validation, creates approval. And then you lose track of what you're supposed to be doing, your definitiveness of purpose. And then when you're not fucking, you feel a sense of hollowness and emptiness. And that's where the anxiety, when there's a space in the man's heart of hollowness and emptiness, it is only filled by anxiety and depression in the absence of purpose. And so if you can't, don't have purpose. And so it's overconsumption of food,

overconsumption of sex, and then sharing your opinion when it's not asked for. When a man will constantly share his opinion, when it is not asked for, he is seen as a weaker, attention seeking, validation needing man. And no man should be seen as a weaker, attention-seeking, validation-needing man. And no man should be seen as that. So my opinion is it's unnecessary.

And I speak from firsthand experience. And secondly, if our job of all men is to leave people better than we found them, and I really believe my job is to leave people better than I found them. I can tell you that there was one woman who two days after we had sex killed herself. Not because of me, I don't think. She apparently grabbed her boyfriend's gun and killed herself. But I had no business fucking a woman that had a boyfriend, did I? So, just because you can and you're a high

valued man a high valued man leaves people better than they found him a high valued man can control his consumption of everything a high valued man will live a life of definitiveness of purpose and not become a drifter who seeks to plug his umbilical cord into everybody else's belly button yeah i think sometimes not acting on stuff is a very powerful thing that a man can demonstrate um somebody does get loud somebody does get charged up and you don't kick their ass because there's no threat there's not a reason to but but you could, right? I think there's like other situations where it doesn't make sense to abuse that power or high-powered men that will take advantage of their situation with women and will take advantage of wherever they can, you know, take advantage wherever they can.

And it's like, well, from what i've seen i've always admired the guys that i that i think are showing the constraint you're like oh man that girl's really sweating that guy but he's like he's you know i don't know what he's doing behind closed doors but but it's looking like he's keeping it together and it looks like he's playing it cool and you're not putting on any vibes no not only do i respect him those are my favorite people power project family how's it Now, we talk about sleep all the time on the podcast because it's one of the biggest things that helps you with your health and fitness, your recovery, your muscle gain, your fat loss, everything. That's why we've partnered

with Eight Sleep for such a long time now because the technology behind the mattress allows you to track your heart rate, the amount of times it takes you to fall asleep, your tosses and turns, your heart rate variability. It changes its temperature through the night based off how you sleep, but not only yourself, but maybe your partner on the other side of the bed. It is an amazing mattress. Andrew, how can they learn more? Yes. Head over to 8sleep.com slash power project. That's 8 spelled out E-I-G-H-T sleep.com slash power project. Along with more information, you guys will actually save $150 off of your entire order automatically. links to them down in the description as well as the

podcast show notes I'm just curious too because I mean I like when I was mentioning before the podcast when I started looking at your content I got the rational mail a few years ago went through the book and when I was looking through content within the red pill circles, it kind of caught me off guard because I was like, is the intention here just to try to get laid? For example, when I watched Fresh and Fit, right? And I've seen some of their content and I know you've collaborate with them. I understand what's super useful about the red pill and all the data and all the statistics as it's helped me navigate the dating marketplace well too.

But as I've potentially watched like fresh and fit, right? When I see when they bring certain women on, there's an archetype of woman that continue to come onto that podcast. And I've dated that type of woman. And that's a woman that you want to avoid. But the interesting thing is when you look at the comments and you just pay attention to what people are talking about when it comes to that, it's like, of course you don't

want to date those women anyway. Those wouldn't even be women you want to marry. So I'm curious as to when it comes to that, or do you have any idea of what men should be looking for if they're trying to find someone to actually be with to marry? Because you know what I mean by the archetype of woman that you see on that podcast, correct? Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. Ratchet hose. I mean, let's call, let's call a spade a spade. I mean, that's what, that's what they call themselves. So yeah. Um, that's the, that's the joke. Right. Um, but it's, uh, I, I think that when you look at it in whole, now you've got to remember that Fresh and Fit is one show built really on one template,

which is let's have a conversation. Let's have some discourse here. And the women that they are sourcing are from Miami. Let's just be honest. Okay. So if they're there from, but you've got to remember that the women who they are sourcing are from Miami. Let's just be honest, okay? So if they're there from, but you got to remember that the women who have gone through there

in the course of a year right now have not just been from Miami. They've been from all over the place. They've been from, I mean, I remember the first show I was on, I met a girl from like, I think it was Canada or Montana or something like that. So they're there from somewhere else.

So, but does that, is that mindset sort of pervasive of that area yeah i'm i'm certain that it is um when you are looking at the i mean i don't see why anybody holds like the after hour show of fresh and fit as some sort of like dating criterion i understand that it's just against the against well you're not there looking for a if you're watching that show odds are you're probably not looking for a woman to marry okay none of those women are sort of marriageable women and that's actually one of the things that myron and fresh and myself have talked about like over and over and over again is that women are less marriageable these days and men are actually less marriageable these

days as well and we've talked about that um you know for a long time both on my show and on their show as well so um it's not so much about like why are you know why are we watching fresh and fit to for you know to find a a wife that's that's first and foremost yeah second of all is is when we're talking about marriage today i think i think a lot of people get um like for instance you you started out with saying well you know i you know for somebody looking for a long-term relationship or looking for a marriage or something like that these women are not like you know exemplary of the kind of women that i would want to get yeah i agree um however what it is is it's an example of in the most extreme sense of female nature,

when it comes to what is it that women are looking for? Is it looks, is it money? Is it, you know, is it game? Is it, you know, social skills? What is it? And then the other problem that a lot of guys run into is, is it even worth getting married today under present circumstances? So when we start out being marriage minded, if that is like, I've been married for 25 years, I've been with the same woman for about 26 and a half now. So when people come to me and they say, well, Rolo, I can't believe you're coming out against marriage. And I was like, I'm not coming out against marriage. I actually think marriage as an institution is a great thing. And people want to throw rocks at me for even just saying that but hear me out is what i'm saying is that the reason why i am critical of marriage

right now is because i'm critical of the way that we do it now not the not the actual institution of it or long clearly it has been the foundation and the bedrock of western society for god knows you know for for millennia now i get get that. I'm not against marriage. I'm not against long-term commitment. What I am against is the way that we do marriage right now. And so when we have this sort of old order, 20th century way of thinking that that's the ultimate goal, that's the end goal of all of this.

We have to look at what is that state? What is that goal state? And figuring out I want to be with somebody in the long term. I want to have babies. I want to increase the fertility rate, whatever it is, whatever your reasons are for wanting to be in a long-term relationship, you have to look at how those relationships are formed. And that's really what throws a lot of people off about my work and about really even just watching the after hours show or anybody in the ministry, it doesn't have to be me, is that we are dealing with old order 20th century ways of thinking about dating, about thinking about, you know, coming

together as couples, as forming families. Now we start talking about things like polyamory and everything else and alternative, you know, relationship life. So the reason we're having this conversation right now is because we're transitioning from, you know, 1999 up to 2022 right now. And we're still, we're still trying to figure this out. We're still, it's, it's advancing so quickly and society has changed so much. And we're wondering why is it that, you know, the, the marriage rate is at the lowest rate it's ever been recorded in since they started recording

those, those numbers. Why is it that we see certain statistics and you know um you know ssri is being prescribed for women why is it that we see uh the autism rate in children rise just like a skyrocket from 2000 up to where we are right now there's all of these we see all this evidence we have access to all the statistics and we're not asking why and so when you say, well, you know, this woman don't seem like somebody that I would want to marry. Yeah. That's because your old order way of thinking about like forming relationships and everything else is coloring what you're seeing on the screen or what you're hearing coming out of my mouth or the statistics that I'm bringing up

that are really kind of challenging. I think to a lot of our old order beliefs, that's where a lot of the conflict and the contention comes when I'm putting something out there because I'm trying to be as analytical as possible. And people are sort of seeing that through this emotional lens because they're attached to the way that they think that things ought to be. I'm generation X, right? I lived in a time before there were cameras and YouTube and cell phones and everything else. And I've gone from that. And I met my wife back in like 1995, right? To get up to where, yeah, exactly. To get up to where I am right now. Right. So what's, I mean, think of all the dramatic changes

that have just happened in just 30 years. As men, we should be able to, and we have to, if we do have certain things that we want to share that we're scared of sharing with our partner, we got to try and share that in a healthy way. It doesn't always come from crying and bawling your eyes out and sharing it. You can literally have a conversation about these things. And maybe you're having a conversation about an anxiety or fear, but also maybe you know kind of how you're going to navigate it to get from point A to point B. Maybe it's the insecurity you're mentioning about like, God, I have this job interview or I have this issue, right? But you have an idea of how

you're going to get from point A to point B. But also on the woman's end, if you're not with a woman that can take that and that can actually have that conversation with you and then not use that against you in the future if she does that's an immature human being that is not an adult woman that that has emotional stability that's kind of like that that's not a cool person because i i mean your experiences right in your marriage like has that backfired on you or has like in terms of being vulnerable in certain spots because this is another thing and you could probably talk more about this and you knew you at when you were broke and now you're a millionaire but she was with you through years of you not having what you have now yeah um no she's never used like me being vulnerable against me um

she never you know when i was uh i guess working on myself trying to figure out ways to make money trying to go through different jobs and you know had odd jobs you know i was a personal trainer i did some bouncing and shit like that nothing real stable nothing really strong there wasn't like a career it wasn't like a real clear uh career path but she didn't really pressure me on any of that stuff and she never used it against me you know she wasn't like i make this and you don't make much and you know you need to start making x amount or she never did any of that i actually had friends though that they couldn't get engaged until they can afford a certain ring for their significant other and i always thought that was wild now again if that's

something you both agree upon and you say, you know what? Yeah, I would really love to get you a ring that you feel is going to make you feel great. And it's $5,000 or $10,000 or whatever the number is. And I'm going to work my way towards that because I think it's really valuable. That's different, right? But if there's like some demand being placed on that and, uh, you gotta, you know, work your face off for that. And that's always kind of being kind of hung over your head, just like you see sometimes in relationships with sex, you know, women are kind of using sex as like a weapon type of thing. I mean, these are all things that I

don't, that, that maybe, uh, sometimes we accept them in society, but I don't think they're normal. And I don't think it has to be that way. I think you can communicate about just about everything. And I think it's really powerful to, to be vulnerable. Uh, you know, just as an example, like what's wrong with telling somebody that something hurts your feelings, you know, what's, I've had to tell my wife many times. I would say, hey, listen, I'm going to complain about my brother Mike, okay, about when he was still alive. But be cautious when you talk. He's my fucking brother.

He's like my idol, and he has mental health issues. So I might talk a bunch of shit because I'm frustrated. has mental health issues. So I might talk a bunch of shit because I'm frustrated, but you can't go and pile on. Cause then I'm going to get, I'm actually going to probably get sad because I'm going to think more about what I said and I'm going to feel like shit about it. So, you know, just deal with me like bitching about it and understand that I'm not really, uh, I'm just venting. I just need to vent, you know? And so she had to kind of like figure out maneuvers on that. You know, that, that's, that's a really big deal right there. And when it, when it comes to something like communicating that, as I've known you for, for years, I've never seen you be angry.

I mean, I've seen you sad because of certain things at certain points, but I've never seen you sad because of certain things at certain points, but I've never seen crazy highs and lows because you're mentally healthy. And the thing is, is like when we talk about male anger or even depression, because there's a lot of men that suffer from depression, the thing is, is like different people have different types of traumas. I'm not a therapist, but those traumas that they may have had can potentially show themselves in the relationships that they have and the friendships they have. And the thing is, is that as a guy, like Bedros, right? Bedros, he's been open about like his molestation as a child.

Bedros got therapy. And if you're a man who has been dealing with things, different traumas from your past, whether it's bullying or whether it's something that has shown itself in the way you act with people, your partner isn't your therapist. You should be able to be vulnerable with them, but there may be aspects of things where you should maybe try to work through with the therapist, right? So you can then be a healthier partner and then you can communicate those vulnerabilities healthier with the woman that you're with. Because again, like on the woman's side of things, if you're communicating that in a healthy way, vulnerabilities, it shouldn't be any reason for her to run for the hills or for pussy to dry up or for her to think you're less of a man. And if that's, I think there's a woman that thinks that like oh god my man being vulnerable with me or whatever is something that's going to make me run i think that's the wrong woman to try to be with but the thing is is back to this like like you mentioned some men show their anger like

some men yell they'll curse or whatever dog go get fucking therapy that's not a healthy way to communicate with anybody and then if you have depression if you have massive repressive episodes, yeah, there are things we talk about on the podcast that can help out your mood in terms of like your sleep, your exercise, all these habits. Go to the gym. Go to the gym. But sometimes maybe you just need to actually have a therapist to talk to, to help you through these issues so that you can communicate these things better to your partner. And there's no problem with getting therapy with some shit. these things better to your partner and there's no problem with getting therapy with some shit and nowadays you can do it like just via consultation over the

internet this episode is sponsored by better help but no it's not but exactly yeah and you don't have it's like I think it's kind of nice because you can be kind of anonymous so I don't know it just maybe people feel awkward about going into an office or feel like they don't have time or whatever. And nowadays you can just do stuff online, which is pretty cool. JL had mentioned that when it comes to therapy, though, like it is good to go somewhere because people will feel better if somebody actually creates space for you. feel better if somebody actually creates space for you. Let's say whatever the traumatic experience or maybe even person that's causing some of this is in the space that you're currently at as you're trying to get help. It might, you know, you might still have the walls up, you know, even though

you're talking to this person through a screen and that person's not there. So just something else to keep in mind if maybe you do try the like a Zoom type of thing and it doesn't work out, it's not because therapy didn't work out for you. It's just maybe it's just you might not have liked that approach. I think if you kind of just look at dating as if you are like interviewing, right? You're interviewing people for a potential partnership at some point. And if you don't – if you're not really looking for a partnership, I don't know how much sense it makes to like really date somebody and also be just in it with just them. Because why wouldn't you maybe explore and date a few people and then just communicate with the people that you're dating and say, you know, this is the way it's going for now. If you're cool with that, then we can continue. Yeah.

And that, that's a, that's a healthy way of doing things. You know, some people do get caught in the trap of like, they find one person that they kind of like, and that person kind of likes them. And then they just zone in hard, especially now with like how dating is with all the different options. If your goal again is to find someone who you can get married to. And with a lot of guys nowadays, like there's a lot of guys who are anti-marriage and there's a lot of things

that go into that or anti being with a single person. I get that. But if you're someone who wants to do that, you should give yourself time to explore. You should give yourself time to kind of focus on yourself and build yourself up you know as you get older and older because the truth is is like as you become better as you become more you will have more options of the type of people you can date and then the people that are going to be attracted to you so there's a strength in not just committing immediately to the first girl

that gives you attention or not just like being all in on that first relationship but the thing is is there are people that that first relationship ended up working for like yourself like that's i mean chime in below if any of you guys have been married for a while and it was with like your first girl comment down below because that's pretty amazing if it's working out well. But you are going to become someone quite different than who you are right now. Like if you're 18 or 21 or even if you're still single and you're 28, you know, I think you're going to continue to work on yourself.

You're going to continue to get better. And as you do that, there's going to be more girls there's going to be more opportunity and i think what happens to some people is that maybe they never realized how much opportunity there was in the first place oh yeah because if you just talk to girls and you just ask them out a lot of times they'll i mean unless you got something unless they have something else going on or unless they're totally out of your league but you do see it a lot where you're like how did that happen and then the guy's like well i just asked her out you're like what can't be that simple sometimes it is especially in like high school that like because everyone's kind of like

not locked down but like most chicks aren't able to like just go on and do whatever they want. Now, after high school, it's very unfair for a young man that hasn't. What do you mean? Like in high school, you're going to see the same people every day. So there's less likely of a chance that a chick's going to see like an older dude successful and doing all kinds of stuff because it's also illegal yeah so in high school yeah shoot your shot but i i did marry the high school sweetheart you know we we were together and then we ended up breaking up but then we got back together and then we ended up breaking up again and it didn't work out and yeah i mean i would imagine she's a completely different person i 100 100% am a completely different person. I mean, we were different people within that same relationship.

Yeah. reason why I did anything was like to try to just get laid you know like the reason why I had a job was just because I could have money to go like out on the weekends and like buy drinks and shit like that uh-huh to buy clothes to pay for my car that I shouldn't be driving you know at the time and like yeah it was like the main driving force for everything instead of like trying to build myself up it was just like what is the best paying job I can get into right now just so I can have some money to show off and like you know, try to get girls and stuff like that. I think it really slows you down. Oh, big time. It really does.

It set me back very far. Yeah. I think it really slows you down. What, focusing on girls? Yeah, I don't think guys should really have someone serious until they're a little older. I mean, at least a couple years out of high school. Just because in high school, I think even just coming out of high school, like you're trying to figure out job or college,

like you're trying to figure out so many things, trying to figure out some sort of like career path. And that could even just take you in a different direction. Some guys are thinking about the military, you know, I mean, that story has been played out a million times over. Like when you get married and you're in the military, I believe you get more money. So a lot of people do it for a bunch of different reasons financial reasons being one of them but it seems like it happens very frequently where the person gets cheated on because they

weren't really together for that long actually like learning each other and enjoying each other before the guy goes off to wherever he gets sent off to yeah like i wonder with the average marriage age of people in like the 60s and 70s because people were people were getting married mad young but like now like i couldn't imagine there's a lot more religion attached to everything there was you know there really wasn't people are satanic now heathens oh my god but but yo like it really as a guy it's like give yourself time focus on your like you should at the end of the day you should be focusing on yourself anyway and focusing on improving yourself because the better you become the more options you're going to be able to have um and there's no reason like focus on chasing women

you know because it's like at some point point does depend on kind of what you do. Like more of that will come your way because you have become become a person that is desirable. Right. Right. But it's tough. Like that's a really hard thing. I was talking to a friend about this because I remember even in my fucking early 20s. Right. Like it's tough when you're a young guy to understand that, okay, well now you're fighting, you're fighting it out with every other guy in the marketplace. So it's like, you're 22 years old. You're, you know, either you're in school or you got your first job or whatever, but I mean, you got that 30 year old that is like set in or that 35 year old that's

set into his job and he's doing well and he has a car and a place and all this and that's your competition as somebody that lives at home and broke lives at home or maybe even have your own place but at the same time it's like you you are here right now and it's going to take time to get here right and you'll you'll you'll have more dominance in the marketplace if you just focus on yourself and give yourself time to improve. That's really it. If you just act like you don't care, act like you're not even part of the marketplace. That always seems to work really well. But you become efficient or proficient at something, become really good at something, you're going to feel a lot better about yourself.

You're going to carry yourself differently. And then whatever the thing that you're in, somebody is going to be attracted to that. There's girls that dig guys that play baseball. There's girls that dig guys that do jujitsu. There's girls that dig powerlifters, girl that dig every category you can think of. Same thing the other way around. There's people that are just there. And if you're good at that thing, then I mean, who's the girl gonna who are they gonna be attracted to you mean attracted the worst guy in class are they gonna be attracted to the best guy in class i'm like yeah the best guy in class with somebody so i'll go

second best guy or third okay all right well fifth best guy okay not a big deal