Mark Bell's Power Project - Mark Bell's Saturday School EP. 27 - How To Be A Role Model

Episode Date: January 30, 2021

Class is back in session! Today Mark Bell is going to talk to us about role models and how we can become a role model to our kids. Subscribe to the NEW Power Project Newsletter! ➢ https://bit.ly/2JvmXMb Subscribe to the Podcast on on Platforms! ➢ https://lnk.to/PowerProjectPodcast Special perks for our listeners below! ➢LMNT Electrolytes FREE SAMPLE PACK until Jan. 31, 2021: http://bit.ly/3bxyMND ➢Piedmontese Beef: https://www.piedmontese.com/ Use Code "POWERPROJECT" at checkout for 25% off your order plus FREE 2-Day Shipping on orders of $99 ➢Sling Shot: https://markbellslingshot.com/ Enter Discount code, "POWERPROJECT" at checkout and receive 15% off all Sling Shots Follow Mark Bell's Power Project Podcast ➢ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ https://www.facebook.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/mbpowerproject ➢ LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/powerproject/ ➢ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/markbellspowerproject ➢TikTok: http://bit.ly/pptiktok FOLLOW Mark Bell ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marksmellybell ➢ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkBellSuperTraining ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/marksmellybell ➢ Snapchat: marksmellybell ➢Mark Bell's Daily Workouts, Nutrition and More: https://www.markbell.com/ Follow Nsima Inyang ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nsimainyang/ Podcast Produced by Andrew Zaragoza ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamandrewz #PowerProject #Podcast #MarkBell

Okay, we're rolling, but before we get rolling, we actually got some clarification on the number two pencil ordeal. You're right, that was a one-sipper. All right, check this out. This comes from Riley Cook, and he says, Just listened to Saturday School, and you guys were talking about pencils and Scantrons and everything, so I thought I'd toss in my minimal knowledge of graphite pencils. and everything. So I thought I'd toss in my minimal knowledge of graphite pencils. Long story short, basically, the number two pencil is a, let's see, what did he say? It's a HB pencil. And the scale goes from hardness, hey now, 9H all the way down to 9B, which,

so 9H is super hard graphite, very gray. 9B is super soft and very black. So the number two pencils is like right in the middle. So maybe that has something to do with the Scantrons needing a number two pencil. I know, but I don't think you can even get anything other than a number two pencil. So, I mean, I understand like that. Yeah, the Scantron sheet or whatever. I mean, I understand like that. Yeah.

The Scantron sheet or whatever. Teachers, by the way, fucking, you know, do your own shit and quit having a computer or whatever the hell it is. A Scantron sheet. Scan your goddamn test for you. We're not allowed to use a Scantron for our homework. Yeah. But so I think lazy fucks. The only time you would get anything other than the number two is like an art pencil.

And that's what he's talking about. Like the light gray and dark gray and gray gray. Got it. Whatever that means. But yeah, that answers that. But welcome back to Saturday School, everybody. Yeah, I guess grab your, what's it called, the HB pencil. Because we're going to use our Scantrons today. Yeah, the bell went off already, and you're late.

Yeah. You're tardy. Thanks for the coffee today, man. I really appreciate it, because last night was another night. Some of that Dutch bros, yeah, congrats. You're pops. Yeah, it's wild, man. It's really something.

It's definitely got me thinking. You know, I have Jasmine, but, you know, having a I have Jasmine but you know having a fresh brand-new baby I want to you know be a cool beacon of light a guiding light for you know my son hopefully he can look at me and be like yeah I think you know he's done some cool shit in his life but it got me thinking about role models and as you and some of the listeners know like I'm pretty into video games and stuff I took like a pretty much like an know like i'm pretty into video games and stuff i took like a pretty much like an eight-year hiatus from video games to try to get my ass here into this position

where i'm at right now but i always wanted to go back and now that i i've started messing around with like virtual reality and stuff uh i'm running into a bunch of what's called toxic players. These are young kids, you know, like 10, 11, 12, 13 years old that are just screaming into the microphone, talking so much trash and it's fine, whatever. You can trash talk. That's cool. But I mean, they're talking like racial slurs,

homophobic slurs. I've dealt with this back in the day when I was playing Madden football. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I went online and they had like Dante Culpepper and Randy Moss moss they're like randy moss bitch i'm like how old are you man kid's like eight years old or whatever yeah so it's it's gotten worse in my opinion because i remember playing madden back in the day and getting schooled or like nba 2k back in the day and getting just annihilated but uh i mean it's just so bad where I'm like, dude,

like, where's this kid's parents, you know, like, Oh my gosh, like, like who's raising this, this animal.

And with the, like with Oculus quest, like you have to have a Facebook account and to have a Facebook account, you gotta be 13 at least. And some of these kids sound a lot younger. So somebody's doing this for them. And you know, I just i just again i just got to thinking like dude this kid probably could use a role model right now and then got into more

thinking about that people that listen to this podcast you know they're grinding they're trying to get in better shape they're trying to you know be more successful um i don't want to say that they're they're not leaving a legacy behind for their their kids but how can somebody like that you know basically look back and kind of have the same feeling that i have like i want to leave something for my son i want him to look up at me and be like wow i'm proud of my dad for doing x y and z how can they do that while still you know i don't know i don't i don't want to put anyone's job down but like if they're doing a lot of paperwork all day long, you know, there's their kids might not be like my dad was the best paperwork sorter guy ever. You know, I mean, I guess sold insurance. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that sort of thing. Yeah. So I think, you know, first thing to address is the role model thing.

And we'll kind of work our way into it. But, uh, you know, call me old school, but like, you know, somebody has to raise this kid, right. Um, whether it be the husband or whether it be the wife or whether it be a male or female, or whether it's two males and two females and one of them, you know, someone's got to sit back and probably be with the kid more often because someone has to make money, right? Nowadays, we see two-income homes very often. And I think somewhere along the lines, some people may have gone wrong with some of this and thinking like, hey, I'm going to go out and I'm going to make what I can make and I'll make $60 or $70.

And if you can make 30, like that would be sick. Cause then we're, you know, I think the stretch for that other person to make 30 and to be out of the home, isn't worth it. It's just not worth it. I think minimum wage would get to you, get to you about a $32,000 a year. Um, but, and that's, that's great. And for some households, like, man, that's a huge amount of money. That's a lot of extra income every month, a couple thousand bucks a month. Like that's, that's great. That's probably really helpful. And in some cases it's needed, right? And sometimes like I can understand, Hey, look, I'm going to do this for two years. I'm going to do this for

four years. It makes some sense to do it for a certain period of time, but maybe you don't have to do it in perpetuity. Maybe you don't have to do it forever. I actually, you know, with being a little bit old school, I'm a fan of, you know, mom doing a lot of the worrying and mom spending a lot of time with the children. I do think I am a person that believes that women take care of their kids better than men in some respects. I'm not saying that men aren't equipped to take care of their children really, really well.

I know some single dad, single parent dads that have done an amazing job with their children. And have protected them and done all the right things. But I'm saying I believe, personally believe that women have a little bit better instinct when it comes to taking care of, especially small children. There's just some, something about a, a something about a female that seems to work out really well with that

particular situation. And even from the time the kid is born, we see a lot of evidence of this. I mean, the dad can't breastfeed, right? And, you know, there's certain psychological, physiological, there's certain chemicals or certain things going on when that child is breastfeeding versus, you know, being bottle fed from dad and so forth. And so I might be a little old school on that. So you might have to bear with me.

Maybe some of my ideas are outdated. Maybe they're too traditional. But I do think that it's great for one parent to spend a good amount of time with their child. Now, I'd also say some people want to be with their children too much and they're there for everything and they get them out of every little nook and cranny and they get them out of every little thing and they safeguard them from everything. That's not great also. And then they're not monitoring when these kids are like, you know, going online and talking all this trash. But I think a lot of kids are being like kind of unsupervised nowadays. And, you know, you could look at every generation and say, oh, man, here, you know, the whole

world's going to hell in a handbasket because we got radio, you know, the whole world's going to hell in a handbasket because we got TV, you know, the whole, you know, then the Internet and now, you know, tablets and so forth and mobile devices, cell phones and just every little gadget you can get your hands on. You can play video games anywhere and you can be part of virtual reality and chat rooms and social media and all kinds of different things you can be really, uh, exposed to. I think some of the toxic stuff that people are, um, exposed to nowadays, these kids are getting on the internet and they're hearing, you know,

foul language from other people. And they're thinking that this is the route to go. I would also say, you know, sometimes you'll hear on the news, there'll be like teenagers are doing drugs and having sex. And you're like, uh, you know, sometimes you'll hear on the news, they'll be like, teenagers are doing drugs and having sex. And you're like, you know, I think this has been part of our history. Like, I think this has been going on for a long time.

Kids being exposed to foul language and pornography and all kinds of crazy stuff has been going on forever. I remember fifth grade Jeff Melby bringing in a penthouse magazine, you know, I remember like it was yesterday and everyone's got their own experience. That's, you know, similar. Sometimes it involves something even more inappropriate than just that.

But I think back to, you know, or even not even think back, but even think of like rap music, you know, and even some of the metal and some of the heavier metal where there was like really, you know, it's just maybe like quote unquote violent lyrics or lyrics that a parent would think, oh shit, like what's that mean for my kid?

NWA, even the, even the, the name of the group, like, whoa, like, really? Like, fuck. And then all the different stuff that Eazy-E would talk about and all the different people that were part of that group and part of the rap kind of revolution, you can view our generation, Andrew, as being like, you know, a lot of people probably thought that we were really fucked. And I think they were correct. It just reminds me of, again, back video games when mortal combat came out there was so much media covering that video game saying it was too violent it's gonna lead to this and that you

could rip your heart the guy's heart out yeah and then you know shortly after that there was a game called night trap i don't know if you remember that but basically you can either be uh i don't remember how violent it got but you can you could either be the uh like the girls inside this house trying to survive a night where like burglars were going to come in or you could be the burglars or whatever and it just got super weird but i mean you're absolutely right like if it's it's always gonna be something Right like it's gonna be that that next thing is gonna be the thing that poisons our kids And you know that sort of thing yeah, I just thought I thought it was funny because I loved Mortal Kombat that game was the shit I think the thing that's poisoning us more so than anything is our food supply just because that is is

You know people are making bad choices kind of at every turn, all day, every day. And then when you make bad food choices, in my opinion, it's hard to make correct choices in other areas and to be motivated to really do much of anything. It's very, very crippling. anything it's very very crippling but when i think to my son in his you know video game playing and this kind of role model idea that you came up with here today is when my son used to play a video game there used to be a look of defiance in his eyes from the time he was really really little i mean i'm talking about three maybe maybe like five. Okay, maybe like four or five, somewhere in that range. Four or five years old. I remember he'd play a game and then we'd like notice his behavior just sucked.

I'm like, that's weird. Like, and then, and then there was other things like he just didn't want to put the game down. When we asked him several times to come to dinner or, you know, we asked that, you know, oh, one more game or one, you know, and that's fine. Like, you know, some compromise is fine. Like if I was in the middle of doing something and someone told me dinner's ready. Yeah. You know, I'm going to probably take three more minutes to finish what I was doing. And then, yeah. And then show up to dinner. Right. So, so like a little give and take with your children makes sense on some stuff like that. But my wife and I noticed very early on, and then there would be other times where we would sort of forget about that a little bit,

or we would give some leeway towards that, or even just kind of give up on it, because the hardest thing to do as a leader, as a parent, is to repeat yourself, but it's the most important thing that you have to do. And say, Hey, remember, we talked about that. Hey, you know, we discussed this. Remember when we came together and, you know, you said you're going to put your phone away at 9 PM, you know, we're still doing that, you know, like we're still working towards that. We're still, you know, that's still a thing. You know, it's important for your kids to understand that and to have that reinforcement over and over again. But sometimes, you know, you let go of those

things. And I remember, you know, Jake being eight, nine, 10, and then another problem would pop up. And I'm like, you know what? So those damn games, like it's not really the video game necessarily. It's the fact of what he can do in the video game. So he's going from Minecraft. Let's just say, I don't remember what year it was or whatever, but he's going from Minecraft where you can literally create your own world. You can do anything that you want. You can make a house. You can have like a farm.

I don't know. I've never played it. I don't understand all of it. So far, that's accurate. Yeah, you can do all that. Yeah, you can kind of do whatever you want, right? So then he goes from doing that where you have all this creative stuff going on. And now you're telling him like to pick up his room or something.

Now you're like demanding he does something right. When he had all this freedom in this game to do all this stuff, he was in this fantasy land. That was amazing. And it was a great experience. He probably loved it. And so he's almost, uh, almost hypnotized in a way by what was going on in the game. And I don't think,

uh, you know, I don't think like, I don't have the thought of like, oh, you know, you're playing grand theft auto and you're killing somebody and then you're going to go,

you know, I don't really think that it's a one-to-one that way, but with a young child, with a young developing brain, I just noticed some, some, it was hard for his, him to switch his behavior over to,

okay, now I got to be like a normal. And so, you know, I got to listen to mom and dad. And so we would have like kind of cutoffs for the game. And we kind of had to make some rules around the game. The whole point is, is like like you need some sort of supervision.

You know, the kid, the kid needs some sort of supervision. The same thing with the kid reaching for snacks or ice cream. It's great to have ice cream in the house when you have kids. They love it. You know, they have it two, three times a week. Sounds cool to me. But them reaching for it at breakfast, them reaching for it at lunch, them, you know, it's like, no, no, that's not why we have ice cream.

We have ice cream in the house so that, you know, when your cousins are over, you guys can enjoy it together or we can enjoy it every Friday night when we have our spaghetti dinner or whatever the hell it is. And so the kids, you have to monitor your kids at some point and kind of lead them and force them to do some things that you believe will be in their best interest yeah i think that is gigantic um i i don't know if anybody even if their kid is like this hopefully nobody listening is has experienced this but like yeah just sitting down and checking out what they're into. Cause that's the thought that I had in my head with these VR games. I mean, you can literally grab someone, you know, you can grab their head, put it at your crotch and make moaning sounds like they're given, you know, and I'm like, wow, like this

kid's young. I wonder if one of his parents walked into his room and saw that what they would think. Like they probably get one, they probably get super embarrassed because I'm sure they haven't you know had the talk right right and so i'm like damn yeah like what you said right there is i think huge and you know like i i'll you know pop into my daughter's room as she's like playing some you know computer game or whatever it's uh right now it's been like a way for her to keep in touch with her cousins and stuff at least that's how we're selling it right we're trying to okay it um but yeah i'll pop in there once in a while just to make sure it's not getting weird or you know i'll cut her off completely like hey

who's that who's that who's that you know like if her microphone's on everyone just heard me right but yeah i think uh just simple supervision can go such a long way. Yeah. And then maybe you just have certain rules like. And, you know, these these rules aren't easy to keep, you know, because the kids, they want more privacy. Things are different now than they were when we were young. Having a computer in your room 10 years ago, know might not have well i mean it's a good still it would still matter but 10 15 years ago might not have really meant too much you know um maybe you looked at some porn or something on there but like you probably weren't talking to some 35 year old

person that you know that you're sending pictures to and they're sending you know i mean like well it was getting some really weird shit right yeah it wasn't a it was a thing to chat with whoever but it wasn't a thing to chat and then meet up that's changed like like within the last couple years you know like now that's a thing five seven years yeah yeah yeah like 10 12 years ago i remember buying my first computer and then having it in my room or whatever. And, you know, like not having an internet connection. Like that was not that long ago. And now it's like, what the heck?

Like it's really fast forwarded quick. Yeah, for as long as we could hang on to it, we tried to communicate with our children. Like they just communicate with people in person. And now it's more like, okay, we had to loosen up the reins on that. Cause that's just not really, uh, that's not really realistic, um, or rational in today's environment. And so, um, you know, please only communicate with people that, you know, exactly. You know, let's not, you know, how do you know this person, even if it's another kid that's not you know how do you know this person even if it's another kid that's their age how do you know this you know oh i know him through so and so okay you know him through your friend that you were going to school with before okay that's what you know

you got to kind of check in you got to be paying attention um you might have to be uh you know you might have to be kind of a nuisance and, and I, you know, I try to share with my kids, look, I'm not looking at your phone, you know, I'm not going to go, I'm not going to go searching through your computer. I'm not going to look at your history. I'm not going to, but I might, you know, I might have to, you know, like you, like, don't, don't, uh, you know, don't make me the authority figure here. I'd rather just, I'd rather you control yourself.

And if you can listen to some of the things that I'm asking of you, then you can fly under the radar and nothing ever really pops up as being a major issue. So if you don't put your phone away at 9 o'clock or you don't put your phone away, you're not doing certain things, you have your computer or your laptop in your room and I don't really want you to. Well, then now I got questions because like, what are you doing? You know, you start to kind of break some of these rules and that's what kids are going to do.

They're going to push the envelope. They're going to break, they're going to break some rules. But you need, you need your kids to respect yourself. And if you're ever going to be a role model for them, you have to break, you have to break that relationship of being their friend. I don't, I don't think you can really, you might be able to be their friend and be their role model. You know, if you happen to have a well-behaved kid,

you might be able to have that combination. Uh, but we've seen friends like that. We've had friends like that. Like I remember having friends in high school where their dad would smoke pot with them and stuff. And it's like, that never turned in anything good.

Weird. Yes. We, yeah, the whole thing's weird. Um, you know, I,

I get it. The dad has a great experience with marijuana. His kid's a little older. He recognized the kid is probably going to be curious. And he thinks who, who better to show him how to light up than dad or whatever, you know? And so they, you know, it works that way or whatever. It's some of it's understandable.

I would say when it comes to, you know, parents with some of those technology issues though, is, you know, your kid has Snapchat, your kid has TikTok. Don't get all pissed off about it. Don't get all say, oh, my God, that's that's really cool. I heard a lot of other kids are going to think you're cringe and everything. But I heard a lot of their kids talking about TikTok and I see kids dancing on there and stuff. What's it about? You mind showing me like, you know,

just play along with it. See, see what's going on. Ask them. And if they, if they say, Hey, you know, like I don't, I don't want to, you know, if they get all locked up and they don't want to answer questions, which could happen with a teenager sometimes, then you say, hey, look, I'm your mom. I'm your dad. Look, I care about you. I want to know. Like now I'm even more curious because what are you, there really shouldn't be, I know you're not going to share everything with mom and dad, but there shouldn't be any like kind of big secrets going on here.

any like kind of big secrets going on here. So just sounds to me like if you're guarding it, that you might be doing something inappropriate or somebody else is doing something inappropriate. Maybe you're ganging up on people and making fun of people or maybe even worse, you know, I don't know. And so it's your right to kind of step in. But in order to. In order to end up being that role model figure, you're going to have to be that person that kind of breaks that chain of some of that friendship. You're going to have to break your kid's heart sometimes. You know, your kid is really looking forward to doing this thing. And you'll have to every once in a while say, you know, you can't do it because this happened. And you're just going to have, it's just part of it.

You're going to have to kind of bring the hammer down every once in a while. It's your, uh, what'd you say? So you said it's your right, but I mean, I think you would agree. Like it's kind of your responsibility to be that nuisance, right? Yeah. It's part of your, it's part of your job. You know, it's, uh, you're not really, you're not really, if you're not causing any friction for your kids at all, then I don't think you're doing your job and you're going to have to cause

some sort of resistance or friction, whether it's, you know, telling them, Hey, you got to mow the lawn, take out the garbage, uh,

do the dishes, something like my kids, my kids don't do a lot. My kids aren't, you know, uh, they're not like, uh,

they're not like on a farm or anything, you know, like we're not. They can be now where you're at. Right, right. They're not like baling hay and stuff, but, you know, they have a couple chores that they have to do. And usually we don't have to tell them more than once, you know, hey, you know, it's, you gotta do the dishes or you gotta take the dog for a walk. You know, we mentioned it once and then bounce out and they, you know, they take them for a walk, having your kids be, um, so I, I, before we move on to some other stuff, yeah,

you have to set some rules and some boundaries or certain things. And I think when it comes to these technology pieces, you know, you don't need to have a laundry list of rules, but you don't make up a rule or two and have it agreed upon with the child, you know, have it be the kid's idea. You know, you say, Hey, okay, well, you really like tick tock. That's cool. I like social media too.

I'm on Instagram all the time or whatever it is that you say to them. And you say, OK, well, how many hours a day, you know, do you want to be on? You know, you got C's and D's in school. So I think it would make sense to reduce the amount of time that you're on there. there um you're not coming out of your room that much i mean you can you can be rational with them i think i think you can work something out and say i'd like to see you participate in some family stuff a little bit more you used to come around a little bit more and i thought that was a lot of fun for everybody it's great for your cousins to see your grandma to see you all that kind of stuff so let's see if we can you know let's go from eight hours of screen time. Can we move to five, you know, or you just work out whatever you can with them, the best that you can try to stick to it the best that you can and, uh, you know, try to repeat it as best you can. For me, I just try not to have my kids have any of these devices in their room, um,

past like a certain hour. So, you know, nine, 10 o'clock kind of depending on the day. I just, I just want that stuff charging up and charging somewhere where it's no longer in their possession. It's like out, you know, in a, in a sort of a common area and that's it. And I know ever look at it. My wife doesn't ever look at it and it's just, that's just the one thing. And so I'm able to,

anytime that rule is broken, I'm able to point out to them how lame it is. They couldn't follow the one rule. It's like, Hey, look, you know, we're not making a lot of rules.

I don't want to make a lot of rules. Let's not make any more rules. So let's have you, you know, let's have you return that because, you know, telling them, Hey,

like if you don't return that, this is going to happen. You know, I don't, I hate that. And then you got to police it. Then you're stressed. They're stressed.

I'm going to take the, you know, a phone away for two weeks. You're never going to do that. You're not really ever gonna take the you know uh phone away for two weeks you're never gonna do that you're not really ever gonna you know you're probably not really ever gonna do that if you really are gonna follow through on the threat then maybe those things are good but most of the time we're not gonna do it yeah one thing you've mentioned in the past that has been huge just in in my household but being inclusive you know like i i need household, but being inclusive, you know, like I need to be more inclusive and let, you know, my daughter know what I, what I am doing when

I pull my phone out. But yeah, like if, if you are pulling your phone out to be on social media and then getting mad at your kids for being on social media, you know, the, I mean, I don't even need to explain how shitty that is, but also what mark has said is like you know let let them know what you're doing like yeah like i i'm on this podcast and you know i like to you know grow it as much as possible as as big as possible and in order to do that i have to be where the people are and the people are on social media so that's what i'm doing right now right and one thing is not more important than the other you you know making a post about the power project isn't more important than them talking

to their friends. Correct. It in a in a logistical sense, it may be, you know, you could kind of break it down hourly. I get paid X amount per hour. You know, I work X amount of hour. If I add it all up at the end. You know, I work X amount of hours. If I add it all up at the end of the year, I work X amount of hours per year. I make X amount of dollars and you're not, you're not making any money. You don't, you're not adding to the,

to the family, uh, income via texting your friend, you know, but that's not helpful. And that doesn't make any sense to them. and it's also really not true because they need their friends they need their you know if if your daughter doesn't have some of her friends well then it's gonna pull you from your work because she's not gonna be she's not gonna feel good about herself and then you have to go and deal with that you know and then it's a strain on the family. And that would make the family make less money. Right. So it's while it's it's it's easy for parents to say that.

I see parents do it all the time. So if you're a parent, don't try to make it seem like your shit is more important and definitely don't make it seem like your shit's more important than your spouse's stuff that they have to do. seem like your shit's more important than your spouse's stuff that they have to do. Just because somebody else might not make as much money as you in the household doesn't mean that the text or email that they're answering is not important. It's important to them. That's always the thing to keep in mind. Think about proportionately how important it is for a kid to talk to their friend versus how important it is for you to make a to their friend versus how important it is for you to

make a post on Instagram that may yield in a couple more followers or a couple more likes. I would actually side up with the, with the kid and say that that French, I mean, remember your friends when you were a kid, like that was everything, right? You're going to meet your buddy at six o'clock. And, uh, like, remember when you couldn't, you were fucking devastated. I remember crying about it when i was a kid like when i was a little kid i remember like you know being super sad like i couldn't hang out with my buddy i you know he had to stay in because he got in trouble or something and i'm like oh my god yeah or like when you guys plan on like spending the night over at each other's house and then your dad's like no you're you're like, but fuck, dude, I had so many things we were going to do.

And it's like, oh, man. Yeah. You spend the next three hours trying to figure out how do I get this back? Where did I mess up? I'll take out the garbage. I'll paint the garage. Yeah. And I just remember like a no would always come after like a bunch of like, huh like dad like is it cool if i huh dad like can

i go to you know so-and-so's house dad huh like what do you want oh i just asked you if i could go spend the night at their house so is it cool if i go dad huh like huh dad and it's always like no you can't go like shit yeah you annoyed the hell out of me yeah exactly at that point yeah where are you going where you? And you're like, yeah. Yeah. Definitely putting yourself in your kids shoes, you know, definitely would give you a pretty good perspective and remembering what it was like when you were their age. And then in terms of like, you know, having your children be proud of some of the stuff

that you do, I think there's no way for them to be proud of what you're doing unless they respect you and respect what you're doing. Allowing your kids to be included in stuff is really important. You have parties at work. You have certain things. See if, you know, see if these parties, see if some of these things are sometimes inclusive of family members. Sometimes they're not, sometimes they are, but anytime that they are, maybe you want to bring them around. It's good for your, your child to see where you work. Like why not show them where you work one day, your employer is not going to be pissed. You know,

you just bring them in and say, Hey, I just want to kind of show my, you know, a daughter around and show her what, what I do here and show her some of these buttons that I push. And we're going to mess around for 10 minutes and that'll be that. You know, that's I think that's really healthy. And then also just making people aware of who you're talking to. I picked up Jake from school yesterday and. On the ride home, I was talking to him about Dr. Sean Baker and I was telling him, I was like, Oh, you know, I hit up and I'm just, I'm just talking completely randomly.

He doesn't really care. And he, he, he was frustrated about something else. So I just figured I'll just talk about something completely different. And so, uh, I was like, yeah, I called up Dr. Baker. Dr. Baker's the guy that created the carnivore diet. And I've had him on my podcast many times. He's been on Joe Rogan before. I was like, he got me and your uncle into the carnivore diet. Now, like millions of people around the world do it. And a lot of it's because of Dr. Baker. And I said, and Dr. Baker used to do surgery on elbows and knees. He's a doctor. And so I hit him up because my elbow is bugging me. It flared up. I think I have like bursitis.

And so I sent him a picture. I sent him a video and I've hopped on a phone call with him today. And Jake was like, oh, what did he say? Like he, you know, he was kind of halfway and he didn't really care, but he's halfway interested. And we got talking about it. So, so he knows who Dr. Baker is. And now, you know, four hours later or three hours later, we're sitting on the couch. Jake's playing a guitar. I pick up my phone. I'm texting. And, uh, I can say, oh yeah, Dr. Baker, he's getting back to me about my elbow.

He thinks it's this or whatever. And now he's, he's not thinking like, oh, my dad's ignoring me while I'm playing the guitar. Like, yes, I am ignoring him for a second second but he understands like who i'm talking to and he understands i'm trying to get some answers uh quickly and so forth and so it just uh it really nullifies a lot of uh like kind of bad feelings about somebody maybe neglecting you ignoring you uh choosing something else over you you know and it's like okay well that's you know he's doing some work and whatever and then he'll you know i put the phone down or you know whatever it might be but i think yeah trying to be as as inclusive as you can be i

think is critical yeah and and it could be sean baker or it could be like sean in accounting right like kids don't really care too much like they're just gonna you know yeah sean was having this issue with his son like what do you think about that like including them right like i think i think every kid would love to be a part of that i do that all the time you know i'll uh i'll mention uh i'll say oh sean from dutch brothers came over you know he came over to the gym today he actually uh talked to your uncle and uncle Andy about his distillery that he wants to open up or something like that. And then Jake's like, Uncle Andy wants to open his distillery. You know, but like now he knows like he's part of.

So when he hears stuff with I don't know how many kids out there have heard family stuff and been like totally shocked. Oh, and so and so has cancer. Holy fuck. i didn't know how come nobody told me and they're like well no one told you because you're because they don't think they don't want to place that burden on you because you're 13 or whatever but yeah you should know everybody shouldn't i know like you can handle it like you know when they when they when something happens to them it's like that's even. You tell them after the fact, like, I never knew. I wish I, you know, I wish I knew.

There's been many situations like that in my, my mom had a brain tumor when I was really young and nobody told me until she went to the hospital and I was like heartbroken. I'm like, is she going to fucking come back? Like, is she going to die? Like, I don't, she has a brain tumor. I'm like, what's going on? And like, well, it's small and it's, well, if it wasn't a big deal, why don't you tell me?

Right. Yeah. If you thought it wasn't a big deal and I could get over it real quick, just let me know. Yeah. I could be at least prepped, you know? Yeah. I remember they like thought my mom might've had breast cancer or it was kind of the same

deal. Like, oh, they're going to go cut it out. Like, wait, what? Hold on. Yeah. So do you think just people in general should just be talking and treating their kids more of the same deal. Like, oh, they're going to go cut it out. Like, wait, what? Hold on. Yeah. So do you think just people in general should just be talking and treating their kids more like adults than they actually are? Yeah, absolutely. I think that you should treat them like an adult. You

should also understand that they are your child and that they are your responsibility and your main goal is to protect them and try to provide the most opportunity that you possibly can for them. It's not really about leaving a legacy or leaving money behind. It's simply about if you provide opportunity, then the legacy stuff will follow. For me, like I was able to acquire a good amount of wealth and I hope that my wealth runs through the family for a while. But like, you know, it could easily be it could be messed up by like one generation pretty much. And I guess it sort of depends on how much money you make and how quickly somebody could screw it up. But to me, that's not really a legacy. The legacy is in opportunity.

And then how do you create opportunity? You create opportunity by creating savages, you know, and you're going to create savages by having some, giving them some resistance. They're going to need some friction. In my dad's family, my grandfather really knew how to raise his boys really well. He just had them do a lot of shit that he did. He was in the military. He worked on the railroad. He was a mechanic. He worked on his airplane. He worked on his boats.

He was a used car salesman. So he had the gift of gab. He can communicate with people really well. He was fun. He was funny. He was very straightforward. He kind of had he kind of had a dry, a dry sense of humor. He was like a tough little old bastard. But everybody loved him. You know, when he, when he died, I remember like just so many people were at his funeral and I just didn't even, you know, I didn't even really know, but it was, I didn't know he was that like popular.

Like he was like famous, like in, in the area that he lived in. And there's actually like a poster on one of the streets and it's still hanging there. You know, he, he's, he was like kind of a legend in his area. He used to be a golden gloves boxer and all kinds of stuff, you know, and this is a guy, he didn't have any fancy job. He worked on the fucking railroad, you know, he, he was just a worker bee, you know, he just one guy laying down some railroad ties next to the next guy, you know? Um, and, uh, you know, he was gritty enough and smart enough and to where he became an entrepreneur and, um, you know, had t-shirts and hats and, uh, you could see, you would

see like he had like a logo and he had like, you know, some creativity going on, you know, even a long ass time ago. But what he did for his boys is he provided a lot of opportunity by teaching them a lot of the same things that he knew. And out of my dad and his, I don't know how many brothers he's got, four or five brothers, none of them became mechanics. You know, none of them worked on the railroad. None of them became mechanics. You know, none of them worked on the railroad. None of them own a plane.

They all know how to work on cars, though. They all know how to fix stuff. And the opportunity that he provided them was they have the ability to work really hard. They have the ability to outwork. So they're all really successful. They all found their own version of success. Some of them are coaches and teachers. And my uncle Peter was a sanitation worker for a long time.

He loved he he drove a fucking garbage truck and he loved it because his dad taught him the value of waking up super early and kicking ass every single day. And my uncle Peter hated it. He hated it more than any of them. And then he became the only one to have a job like that. Um, my uncle John would wake up at 4am and go run in New York every morning. My uncle John used to weigh, I think close to 300 pounds, New York every morning. My uncle John used to weigh, I think close to 300 pounds,

280, 290 pounds, something like that. My uncle Jimmy is very successful. We worked for IBM. You know, they all became my uncle Tom. He became really successful basketball coach and teacher.

They all found their niche. They all found their thing because my grandfather provided, he provided enough clothes for them, enough food for them. So they felt, I'm sure they felt this or that like anybody else with nine children in the house. I'm sure, I'm sure they felt pretty fucked over probably routinely, you know, plus my grandfather was, you know, he was like, I like, if you, you know, if he cried, he, you know, he's one of those guys, they'll give you something to cry about, you know, or he'd come and, you know, he'd, he'd smack you a little bit, you know, he'd be like, you know, get, get over it. You know, he didn't understand it. He didn't know what you were bellyaching about. You know what I mean?

Um, even, even with me, um, being one of his grandkids, he used to always say, get over here before I beat you, you know, and he'd give you like a big kiss and he'd kiss you like kind of hard. And he, he always had like a scratchy something or other five o'clock shadow on him and it would kind of hurt. But if you didn't go over to him, he'd actually like kick your ass. He'd actually like kind of like, he wouldn't, he wouldn't like punch you in the face, but he'd hit you hard enough to where when you were a little kid, you'd kind of whimper a

little bit. You're like, damn man. Like he, like he's not messing around when he says, come over there before he beats you. He's means it. Yeah.

He means it. And sometimes he's, I'll give you a bloody lip, you know? And you're like, all right, I'm coming over there to give you a kiss. Just freaking,

just a freaking relax. So he, you know, he provided a lot of opportunity. And I think that's the, that's the real key. And then the only way to provide opportunity is to, you know, have, you need to have food for the kids. You need to have a, you know, a steady income. You need to have kind of a balanced home where there's not a lot of fighting. There needs to be enough love in that household so the kids believe in themselves um my grandfather was the kind of guy where let's say let's say the boys were fighting and wrestling and doing all kinds of shit well okay he would whoop their ass and he would like discipline them

but then he would also put up a basketball hoop the next day. You know what I mean? Like, so what's the solution to these guys? Like these kids fight every day. You know, they try to kill each other every day. I'm sick and tired of it. What's going to stop them from killing each other? You know, what's going to slow them down? Like, I'll just yell louder. I'll beat them harder.

Like, no, let's put up a basketball hoop. And maybe they'll shoot hoops. Well, then maybe they'll start to argue. Like, no, let's put up a basketball hoop and maybe they'll shoot hoops. Well, then maybe they'll start to argue about, you know, who fouled who and how hard it was or whatever. And then maybe we'll have to figure out something else. But he was that kind of guy. And I think, you know, that's what I looked up to as a kid. And that's what I would like to do myself is just figure out ways of providing opportunity

for my children, leading by example. My son was up this morning at 6 a.m. playing the guitar. Sick. You know, we lost our power. He's up early like he just there's no alarm clock. He just wakes up at that time. You know, he's not, you know, he's not, you know, waking up at 5 a.m and like working out or anything crazy like that but he he he knows the value of it he understands it and he talks about it he's like i like the morning i like getting up early and sometimes he doesn't he's a teenager sometimes weekends he sleeps in a little bit stuff like that but he understands the value of it. And Quinn isn't there yet, but she just turned 13. And she's starting to kind of ask questions along those lines.

And I think both of them will see. They'll see what Andy's doing. They'll see what I'm doing. And they'll most likely think, like, that seems to be a pretty good route to go because we seem to have everything that we need, everything that we want. And, uh, even if I don't do exactly what mom and dad do, maybe I can just follow some of their general principles of, uh, working hard and being consistent and see where that takes me. Did Jake ever go through that phase where, I mean, no matter what you did he just thought it

was lame you know like the the stereotypical teenager who just like meh like you guys are you guys are lame like did he go through that and if he did you know what did you do to you know kind of get him excited about just anything i think i told the story before but there was a situation where I was taking him for pizza and he and I got into some sort of little thing and he was probably only like oh he's probably only like 12 or 13 he said something about fitness and then I made a turn he's like where are we going I was like we're going home he's like what I was like we're not going for pizza and he's like why not i was like you're not allowed like this is this is how i make my money you know you're not allowed to really talk to the i don't i'm that's i'm i don't accept that you know like i'm not mad i'm not really

pissed off or anything like that but i i i'm offended you know because this is how we make our money or something i I can't even remember. I don't have any idea exactly what he said that triggered that. But I just remembered, like, I need to protect this. This is important. You know, he doesn't get away with, you know, and he probably remembers what he said, you know, I was asking him about it or asking him about that day.

He probably, he probably at least remembers something about it because I was like, I need to, this needs to be protected. You know, this, this little space that I'm in, um, these slingshots that I'm selling and stuff, this thing needs to be protected. He needs to understand that I really care about the inventions that I created. I really care about the gym that I provide people. And, uh, I really care about the message that i have it's it's really important to me and uh i'm not gonna let you on it i'm not gonna let you be disrespectful to it you can joke about it or whatever you need to do but so i tried to make that uh pretty clear i don't really know how much my kids know about exactly what it is i do um

quinn has asked some like kind of more direct questions more recently about like, like, how'd you know, like, this is the right thing to do. And you know, that sort of thing. But yeah, I, I mean, they know the invention, they know the slingshot, I guess that's probably good enough. And then I don't think they have any idea what Andy does. But so that situation with Jake, I'm not 100% sure, but I'm pretty positive that all that did was just build a lot more of that respect you talked about earlier. Right.

He's like, oh, shit, this is important. Yeah. I should probably watch my P's and Q's. But also, like, maybe I need to look more into this and and figure out like, oh, we were going to get that pizza. We could afford that pizza because of this. Right. Damn. Okay.

So again, you kind of, you do have to be that, that stern parent. That's not their best friend all the time. Yep. And I think it's important also just not even, just not be there all the time, you know, not hover over everything. I mean, if you watch your kid running around the backyard with their friend when they're seven years old, they're going to do all kinds of shit that's wrong. They're going to do all kinds of stuff where you're watching it. You're like, oh, someone's going to get really jacked up. Someone's going to get really hurt.

Best thing to do is just not watch it, you know know or provide them with an opportunity that gives them something you feel is safer you know hey you know boys the backyard is not great that gate flies open all the time the dog next door is kind of kind of vicious yeah kind of vicious and he comes flying over here all the time have you play in the front a little bit more or whatever situation is, you just try to mitigate it a bit, but don't, you know, don't helicopter don't kind of hover over it when you hover over it. And you're just thinking something bad's about to happen. Something bad's about to happen. My kid's about to get wiped out and sure enough, sure enough, they do.

Obviously there's going to be circumstances where you kind of have to watch them if they don't know how to swim and there's a swimming pool there and there's no gate you know he you got no choice you have to watch them but for the most part let them you know let them go off on their own and they'll figure it out and so what your kid comes crying to you that's actually great that's a great learning experience uh you say hey Hey, you know, um, there's five or six other kids outside playing with, you know, what's going on. You okay?

Like, did you, did you get hurt? Uh, so-and-so took the ball away from me. All right, well dust yourself off, go back out there and see if you can get the ball back.

You know, and it looks like, looks like those other kids are having a great time. You know, you, you probably want to get back out there, you know, so you're not really focused in on fixing their boo-boo necessarily.

You're kind of saying, Hey, quit being a pussy. That kid in the balls. Damn it. Yeah. Go, go bite that kid and spit a chunk of his skin back at him,

you know, and make him bleed. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah. I'm bad with both of those. I will be the helicopter parent. And then I will bleed. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, I'm bad with both of those. I will be the helicopter parent, and then I will also be the one that's like... Oh, I'm terrible.

Yeah, I will also be the one that's like, no, like, Jazz, like, dude, just flip that girl off that's being mean to you in school. Like, she'll figure it out. You won't get in trouble by us. Right. Something I definitely need to work on. In regards to fences flying open has the wind been insane over there where you're at oh man in dixon yeah it was pretty crazy um there's no hills

there's no buildings there's no nothing out there it's just flat so yeah we had 30 mile an hour winds for a day and a half and now we got no power and i'm starting to stink pretty good and it's so funny when like people on the east coast hear some of these like us complaining about that like yeah we had one night of really bad wind and everything's messed up but i mean there's like trees on the freeway it's been insane like it's been terrible i'm not a fan but if you guys uh i guess they would have missed it by now but make sure you guys stay uh tuned into the community tab here on youtube because you'll see mark uh the way he was cooking his breakfast this

morning with a uh headlight in the dark that shit was dope that was funny yeah um you know when i was in new york i remember when i you know i grew up in New York, I remember, you know, having five days or four or five days, no, no power. And it being kind of fun, you know, you're eating out of cans for a couple of days and using candlelight. And it get it get really boring, you know, really fast. You know, we had some Nintendo going on back then, and, you know, that um you know we had some nintendo going on back then and you know that that would get shut down for a few days and like i don't know going outside was cool because you didn't go outside build a snowman and you could you know smash each other with snowballs and play some football and we used to take we used to play tackle basketball because the court was full of snow.

And you could just kill each other. It was amazing. That was probably, like, the most fun I've ever had was doing that. Like, you're just, like, laughing the whole time because you're, like, trying to, like, run each other over and do a layup. Just getting wrecked. Yeah, you're just totally killing each other. It was amazing. A lot of fun.

And, you know, when you're stuck in those situations, a lot of, like, motivation and inspiration kind of comes from some of that. But, yeah, being here in California, you know, everybody kind of loses their mind when you got one bad day of weather. And what you realize, too, is, like, in California, like, a lot of the trees that are planted like they're not even meant to be here they're not they're not like they're not really like uh some of them aren't really meant for this area and the ones that are meant for this area when the wind picks up they get some of those get uh toppled over pretty easily and there's just there's debris every i mean there's trees down there's everywhere everywhere. I mean, there's trees down everywhere. Right in front of the slingshot store. Oh, yeah.

There's a gigantic tree that just fell over. I'm like, whoa, hey, that looks dangerous. At my old house, this is how stupid we are in California, there was a pine tree. Like, literally, it was probably about less than three feet away from the corner of the house. all about less than three feet away from the corner of the house. Like it was so close that when we had it removed, like they're like, we can't because it's going to probably mess up your house.

Like, what do you mean? Like, just, you know, dig that bitch out. And like, nope, we can't like,

well, who put it there? We don't know. Obviously they didn't know, but yeah, we don't, we don't think about bad weather here. The,

uh, the roots go in there, uh, really deep. I got to kind of finish with this story. Uh, uh, the roots go in there, uh, really deep. I got to kind of finish with this story. Uh, you know, it's just short.

Um, but it's about my friend, uh, Shad who died in 2020. Um, he died in, uh, in,

uh, like Santa Monica area. He was found in the ocean. I think him and his son, uh, they went out, he's a professional wrestler. Um, him and his son uh they went out he's a professional wrestler um him and his son went out and they just were enjoying a day on the beach and they got caught up in I don't know what you call it a riptide or whatever it was but uh

an undertow or whatever the hell it is they got caught up in something that they just you know couldn't uh fight their way out of but it's a good lesson that they just, you know, couldn't fight their way out of. But it's a good lesson in in opportunities. You know, he you know, Shad is out there. You know, trying to show his son a good time and so on, and they end up in this really compromised position. And Shad, you know, makes a decision like. You know, I'm I'm probably I'm probably kind of done with, you know, and he does everything he can to pass his son off to somebody that was able to save him. So his son lived and he died.

To me, that's what it's all about is like you're just trying to I mean, that's a direct, you know, that's very direct story, but you're just trying to provide a life that is protecting your child and trying to provide a life that is maybe, you know, a little bit better than what you had. And hopefully Chad had enough experiences with his son to, you know, maybe share, you know, some of the ups and downs of his life. And, or maybe that gets shared later on with him, you know, as his son gets older, but you know, some of the ups and downs of his life. And or maybe that gets shared later on with him, you know, as his son gets older. But, you know, his son lives on. And that's to me, that's what it's all about.

You know, a lot of us are just we just keep getting older. And it's about trying to provide for our kids. And whenever Thanksgiving comes up, Christmas, any of these holidays, birthdays, like make a big deal of it, you know, make it a big, but make it a big deal for the kids. You know, I know you want to have fun and you want to drink and you want, but like, think about the kids first, you know, think about that family gathering that you have. Just put all the children first. What are the kids going to do?

Like, it doesn't take much,, buy them a fucking Nerf football. You know what I mean? Hey, kids, got your football. You guys should go out and play in the backyard. Nobody wants to play. Nobody takes you up on it. They're on their tablets. Go outside, grab another adult, and say, hey, let's get these fuckers outside for a minute,

you know? Take some time. They'll come out. They'll come out. And when they realize how much more fun it is, playing video games is sick. Playing video games is amazing. But throwing around a football, tackling your cousin, and jacking them up is way more fun in some ways.

And the lessons that you learn through that, or you get jacked up yourself or whatever it is, shooting some hoops or whatever, we need some of that. We need more of that. So put the kids first and try to create opportunities for them, uh, wherever and whenever you can. Boom.

Thank you everybody for checking out today's episode of Mark Bell Saturday school. Uh, we love this community. You guys are freaking awesome. Uh, every time we post one of these up, the,

uh, the loyal folks, you guys always show up. So we sincerely appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. If you guys want to take it a step further please check out our newsletter links will be down in the description

below or even if you're listening to this on the on the audio side check the show notes for that uh i don't know what let's see hold on let me make sure what what date we are at sorry pause because i gotta mention something to people out there real quick oh okay today so i got some i got some airpods and i've been a big fan of headphones for a really long time but these things are amazing these things are great i carry them around with me wherever i go there's many different companies that make them many different versions this this is from apple but um it's not a cheap product but it's something that I use all the time. These are noise canceling. The sound on them is really good.

They're super convenient. The only thing is they are a little small. So I do worry that like I'm going to like go to pull one out one time. It's going to go down like a storm drain or something like that. I'm totally, totally screwed. But other than that, they're amazing. I use them all the time. My brother uses them all the time.

I see people in our office using them quite a bit. So again, I know it's not a cheap item, but it's a worthy item. It's helping me a lot with my personal development journey. Yeah. I got Stephanie the other ones and she loves them. She uses them all the time as well. Sick. Yeah.

So I was checking the date because the day this releases this Saturday, uh, you have, I think one more day left to claim your element free recharge pack. Uh, that's an eight sample pack. Just check out the, uh,

the link down in the description. All you have to do is pay $5 shipping and it's absolutely yours. Um, or it's absolutely free as meant to say. And yeah, I mean, there's no reason not to take advantage of that. Please follow the podcast at MarkBilesPowerProject, at MBPowerProject on Twitter.

And yeah, that's about it. What you got, Mark? It's been real, folks. I just want to share with you guys, last thing here is, you know, the way we do things around here. We just like think about something. And if we think it's a good idea, we just implement it. So we're going to implement something new. We're going to try something new.

We're going to make our boy, Josh Settlegate. We're going to make him part of the podcast. And he doesn't even know this yet. But what Josh does is Josh researches our guests all the time. And so what I want to do is I want to take the research recording that he does and make it for the beginning of every podcast. And that'll be a way to honor Josh's hard work, give him some props for that. And that's the way you're going to hear every podcast kickoff.

You're going to hear his voice first, probably unless you hear like an ad or something, maybe. But I just thought it'd be a good way for people to understand who the guest is coming up. I've had this suggestion before from some other people you may have had something similar because we tend to like bullshit and like our guest is in the photo and the guest is part of the headline but it would probably be

good to give some a little bit of background on who the guest is and where they're coming from and all that strength is never a weakness weakness is never a strength catch you guys later bye